Shaolin Warrior Monk: The Hidden Epidemic Nobody Is Talking About! This Modern Habit Is Quietly Killing Millions! Prediction For The Collapse Of The West!

From pain to purpose, Master Shi Heng Yi reveals the ancient mind tricks Shaolin monks use to master themselves and break free. Master Shi Heng Yi is Headmaster of the Shaolin Temple Europe and a spiritual teacher, who shares ancient Eastern philosophy to help people master their mind, body, and purpose in life. He is also the author of the book, ‘Shaolin Spirit: The Way to Self-Mastery’. In this conversation, Master Shi Heng Yi and Steven discuss topics such as, the hidden epidemic nobody is talking about, the modern habit that’s quietly killing millions, why the West is falling, and the real reason you’re always anxious. 00:00 Intro 02:13 What's Your Mission & What Do People Come to You For 05:53 Why Are We Suffering? 07:34 How Do We Find Our Purpose? 13:18 Why People Struggle to Find Their Purpose 15:40 What Do We Need to Be Connected To? 21:26 Identities and the Feeling of Lack 26:56 Letting Go of Your Ideas 29:08 How to Break Old Patterns 34:57 Training New Patterns 35:43 Advice for Young Men 38:43 Why Are Young Men Struggling? 39:45 The 5 Things Holding All Humans Back 42:16 Living in a World Full of Temptations 43:23 Discipline 45:25 Be Aware of Your Trigger Moments 49:01 Bringing Light to the Dark Areas of Your Life 01:07:47 Negative Feelings That Stop You From Growing 01:10:49 How Not to Be Affected by What Others Think of You 01:26:06 Ads 01:26:58 Kung Fu and Waking Up 01:32:20 The Shaolin Virtues 01:33:13 Do You Believe in God? 01:36:02 Are You Happy? 01:37:28 What Are Karmic Connections? 01:38:49 What Is Your Daily Practice? 01:43:38 The Importance of Doing Hard Things 01:48:29 How Master Shi Embraces Growth Daily 01:53:05 First Step to Be Comfortable With Uncertainty 01:57:42 Ads 01:59:54 What Is the RAIN Method? 02:03:46 Your Last Message to Your Son 02:05:01 I Couldn't Grieve My Father's Death 02:11:22 What to Do When Things Are Left Unsaid With Someone Who's Gone 02:14:58 What Does It Mean to Master Oneself? 02:25:10 What Is Your Greatest Regret? Follow Master Shi Heng Yi: Instagram Shaolin. Online: https://g2ul0.app.link/AifGPompPSb Instagram Shi Heng Yi: https://g2ul0.app.link/9nNBaGvpPSb Instagram Shaolin Temple Europe: https://g2ul0.app.link/XjRVrtxpPSb Shi Heng Yi Website - https://g2ul0.app.link/okadS79yNSb Shi Heng Yi YouTube - https://g2ul0.app.link/ja5XXWfzNSb You can pre-order Master Shi Heng Yi’s book, ‘Shaolin Spirit: The Way to Self-Mastery’, here: https://g2ul0.app.link/gKQzAX2yNSb Watch the episodes on Youtube - https://g2ul0.app.link/DOACEpisodes 🚀 The 1% Diary is back - and it won’t be around for long, so act fast! https://bit.ly/1-Diary-Megaphone-ad-reads You can purchase the The Diary Of A CEO Conversation Cards: Second Edition, here: https://g2ul0.app.link/f31dsUttKKb Sign up to receive email updates about Diary Of A CEO here: https://bit.ly/diary-of-a-ceo-yt Ready to think like a CEO? Gain access to the 100 CEOs newsletter here: https://bit.ly/100-ceos-newsletter Follow me: https://g2ul0.app.link/gnGqL4IsKKb Sponsors: Linkedin Jobs - https://www.linkedin.com/doac Perfect Ted - https://www.perfectted.com with code DIARY40 for 40% off Vivobarefoot - https://vivobarefoot.com/DOAC with code DIARY20 for 20% off Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Steven Bartlett?

  You said to me, "The key to breaking this brick isn't strength necessarily, it's the ability to really, really focus." So can you show me you smashing this brick?

• 0:14Steven Bartlett?

  Master Shao Hung-yi is the world's most hardcore monk.

• 0:18Speaker 01

  He uses his decades of knowledge and techniques to help people control their minds and overcome society's biggest problems.

• 0:23Speaker 02

  This world is filled with so much choice that it's difficult to take a decision which direction to go, what is right to do. And so there is a lot of suffering. With the skills that you are developing through kung fu training, involves methods and practices that give you the ability to do this. But there are five hindrances that make it difficult for you to still keep your goal in the mind. There is sensory desires, ill will, dullness, restlessness, and then self doubt.

• 0:48Steven Bartlett?

  And to overcome the five hindrances, you recommend the Four Step Rain Method?

• 0:52Speaker 02

  Yes, and with ease, make it super simple.

• 0:55Steven Bartlett?

  So many of us live in the same cycles of unhappiness and suffering.

• 0:59Speaker 02

  I witness it in my life as well because I felt I was never enough. My father and mother put a lot of pressure in terms of you need to prove yourself. And so I did all these types of practices and methods that made it possible to be where I am right now. I wanted to recognition by my father, but it didn't happen.

• 1:16Steven Bartlett?

  Because your father passed away from cancer?

• 1:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:24Steven Bartlett?

  How does one let go of that and therefore break the pattern?

• 1:27Speaker 02

  I will show you some practices. Number one.

• 1:31Steven Bartlett?

  I find it incredibly fascinating that when we look at the back end of Spotify and Apple and our audio channels, the majority of people that watch this podcast haven't yet hit the follow button or the subscribe button, wherever you're listening to this. I would like to make a deal with you. If you could do me a huge favor and hit that subscribe button, I will work tirelessly from now until forever to make the show better and better and better and better. I can't tell you how much it helps when you hit that subscribe button. The show gets bigger, which means we can expand the production, bring in all the guests you want to see and continue to doing this thing we love. If you could do me that small favor and hit the follow button, wherever you're listening to this, that would mean the world to me. That is the only favor I will ever ask you. Thank you so much for your time.

• 2:17Steven Bartlett?

  Based on everything that's happening in the world right now and the work that you've committed your life to, what is the mission that you are on and why is it so important right now?

• 2:28Speaker 02

  I do think that in this world, there have always been different streams, different forces. One of them leading to the betterment of humanity, one of them leading to the destruction of humanity. And I do think that there are types of wisdom and knowledge existing out there that very easily, without any additional help for anything else, can be very useful for the people nowadays. You don't need to go anywhere. The only thing you need to do is take a moment, contemplate about yourself, go into yourself

• 3:11Speaker 02

  and find the answers there and then decide for yourself which part and what type of contribution would you like to give to the world that you're living in. I ultimately think this is what I'm doing.

• 3:26Steven Bartlett?

  And what is it that you see people struggling with? Because so many people write to you, they send messages to you, they come and see you. What is it that you hear they're struggling with at a fundamental level?

• 3:36Speaker 02

  I would say it's diversity and choice. This world is filled with so much choice meanwhile, that it's difficult in a way to take a decision, which direction to go, what is right to do, what is not right to do. But ultimately, it's only yourself who knows the answer, which means, it comes to the essential point, learn more about yourself. This is where it starts. Because if you have the wrong perspective of who you are, what you are, everything else in this lifetime you base your decisions on is just not going to be placed in the right direction.

• 4:18Steven Bartlett?

  And what are the other things that you hear people suffering with on a daily basis in the modern world? With the way that the world is now, it's digitalized, we're lonelier than ever, mental health seems to be surging. What are the fundamental things they say to you or that you infer through what they're saying that they are actually struggling with? So overload of choice and inability to make a clear decisions, number one.

• 4:41Speaker 02

  So being perfectly honest, I usually do not very much rely on what the people tell me, what they think, what problem they have. It's just that I look and I can see already what I think you need. And foremost, one of these, and it's very simple. Non-religious, nothing about believing, it simply is the fact you don't use your body as it is intended to be. Very simple.

• 5:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, you, you, you sit, many people sit too much during the day. The body is not active at all. A lot of work, a lot of energy investment is done with the mind. Less energy investment is done really with the body. And that simply means, for me, I can see there's a disbalance. Whoever created us, he did not create us to sit with our butt on one place and do sinking work the whole time. I do think a part of why we have been created is to get out on the field and just do something out there.

• 5:53Steven Bartlett?

  And what is the cost of not utilizing our body in the way that it was meant to be utilized?

• 6:00Speaker 02

  Unbalanced energies that can translate into anxiety, that can translate into dissatisfaction, that can translate into continuously searching and never being satisfied.

• 6:17Speaker 02

  And the most common thing, not realizing how precious the moments are that you have.

• 6:27Speaker 02

  And instead of replacing them with illusions and dreams and assumptions, which are just not real. Meaning, everybody is not even Buddhist, is not Shaolin, it is common understanding. We don't know if we wake up tomorrow, it is like this, yeah? But our plans go, we have five years plans, 10 years plans, we have short term, midterm plans, yeah? The truth is, we don't know if we wake up tomorrow. So of course, I don't wanna make it like it sound negative. So just live in the present moment without planning. This is not what I'm saying. But this is the challenge nowadays. How do you balance out vision?

• 7:12Speaker 02

  Vision?

• 7:16Speaker 02

  With reality?

• 7:18Speaker 02

  Real, the only thing real right now is this. That's real for us. I can feel it. You can hear it. You can sense it. This is real.

• 7:30Steven Bartlett?

  You nearly broke my table. I was concerned. Because later on, you will be proving to me that you can break this brick using your, your mind and the physical preparation that you've done, which I find really, really interesting. Cause I tried to smash this brick on the floor and I couldn't. So all of the things you talk about, understanding one's physical mind and mastering it, but also understanding one's physical body will find out if you can smash through this brick. On this point, I wanted to talk about an adjacent subject, which is really like purpose. What to do with one's life? And if we're spending a little bit too much time thinking off into the future and not enough time thinking in the present moment,

• 8:13Steven Bartlett?

  I'm wondering how purpose and having a, having a big dream for one's life fits into this equation and if we should have a purpose. And if so, how do we find our purpose?

• 8:24Speaker 02

  So absolutely, there is the field of becoming conscious. Consciousness is a big field. Then we have science. This is another very, very big field. So some say, okay, is it that consciousness creates matter? Or is it the other way around? Which one is, which one is the fundamental basis? What is the basis of our interaction? So the truth is, the fact right now is regardless of science, no science, how our evolution developed, right now, we are here. Your body, my body, we are here.

• 9:05Speaker 02

  This is what we are having right now. At the same time, in the way of how this lifestyle at the moment is, we won't have more than fifty more years to go in that body.

• 9:18Speaker 02

  So, very simple. Without believing, without any religious aspect, once again, the truth is, the lifetime of what you carry right now and what I carry right now, it's limited. And now, just imagine, you would be, let's say, the director of your own movie.

• 9:41Speaker 02

  Jump out of the body and watch yourself right now. You are sitting like with Shi Hengyi, we sit on the same table. And you are writing your story. How do you wanna write the story? You wanna afterwards, after this podcast, you wanna like feel uncomfortable, feel unsafe, feel unloved, feel like being just unsatisfied with the whole life, cry or anything like this? Or how do you imagine what is a really nice way of living for you the next fifty years? So, and based on that, purpose can be different.

• 10:22Speaker 02

  You say, "I do like the travel. I do like to invest this lifetime in this body to have the feeling at least that I can contribute something to all the fellow brothers and sisters that are around there. It makes me like, I wake up, I like to do it, it gives me purpose." So, it is something very, very personal. And which also means that in a way, speaking in these terms right now, I do not believe that every human being has the same purpose when it comes to this type of purpose.

• 11:02Speaker 02

  But now, there's another type of purpose.

• 11:06Speaker 02

  Which is more or less personally for me. Why do I think that in the first place we have been put with all these possibilities?

• 11:18Speaker 02

  And positively said, I do think it is a blessing being able to just experience. It's a blessing that we have been granted the possibility of simply

• 11:36Speaker 02

  experiencing what this existence is capable of creating, including everything. Including the joy, including the happiness, including the tears, including the heartbreaks, all of this. Without the separation, whether you prefer one area or not. The one, sometimes the one goes with the other.

• 12:03Speaker 02

  But the purpose in a way is just be and experience. The only thing that happens and which is a big part nowadays is if you take your current existence too serious. If you completely base your identity, your being on what you think you are.

• 12:32Speaker 02

  But like I said, it's just a picture right now, yes? But just sometimes make it very simple, jump out of yourself and be the director. Be the director of this avatar.

• 12:45Speaker 02

  And then it just opens another perspective. Because in that moment, you just realize it's like a movie.

• 12:55Speaker 02

  Not everything is always positive. But in the moment where there are times of struggle, still not being caught inside your own creation.

• 13:08Steven Bartlett?

  Identity.

• 13:10Speaker 02

  Identity, illusion of the self, different expressions for that. It's a very helpful way of thinking. Let's put it like this.

• 13:18Steven Bartlett?

  Because there's so many people that say they are struggling to find a meaning in their life or they feel purposelessness and you know, I get so many messages from people all over the world saying that they that saying things like, is this it? Is this all my life is?

• 13:35Speaker 02

  So this is literally also one, one point that you just mentioned is that it isn't there more, that has always been a part that followed me along the way. Yeah, especially now in the last three, four years after social media, the algorithm of social media really started also pushing, pushing us quite out there. More requests were coming of doing workshops, of doing podcasts, of teaching here, of teaching there, of making television show, of participating in movies.

• 14:16Speaker 02

  And of course, all together with this, doors start to open, different things start to come in. But at some point, I just couldn't believe that this is supposed to be the purpose.

• 14:33Speaker 02

  Because it all still had to do like, had to do with doing.

• 14:40Speaker 02

  The constant doing. Yeah. And there I felt in my life now, looking at this, this couldn't be it. So I, I looked for alternatives, always and always again, especially feeling that along the way of what you would say achieving something, being recognized at something, yeah. But there, there's a, there's another side that goes hand in hand with it, that the public doesn't see. There were times I could simply be surrounded with like thousands, thousands of people, but still feel lonely.

• 15:15Speaker 02

  It's not what you're surrounded with. It's with what you are connected.

• 15:22Speaker 02

  Yeah. And there I felt like there is always again, this type of force. What is it that drives you on going outwards, going outwards, going outwards? You lose yourself.

• 15:35Speaker 02

  But this self is the only thing that can give you connection in this life.

• 15:41Steven Bartlett?

  And what do you need to be connected to then? You talked about being surrounded by thousands and being lonely. And it's really about what you're connected to. What does one need to be connected to?

• 15:53Speaker 02

  Maybe before I answer you this question, there's one thing I maybe want to like mention beforehand. So when I went to elementary school and also during my school time, I actually, for example, joined Christian, Christian lesson, yeah? So by my parents, I grew up with Buddhist tradition, let's say. From the martial arts training, I also got introduced into so-called Zen Buddhism. Because my father always told me, "Look, son, we are here in a foreign country, you're a foreigner. It's always better to have friends than to have enemies." That's why I made always friends with everyone.

• 16:34Speaker 02

  Meaning I had a lot of Russian friends, I had a lot of Arabic friends, I had a lot of Turkish friends, multicultural. Also meaning, at some point, I also got like introduced into Islam. Bottom line is, taking all of this knowledge from the past into my mind, no matter from which angle I'm watching right now, I do believe that we all have a source. There is a source. So whether you call that source, it's the universe. Whether you call the source, it is the God.

• 17:19Speaker 02

  Whether this source is, is the infinite energy, I don't know. There's so many different expressions to it. But when I look at all these teachings, all are always pointing at one and the same thing. Let's just take the expression of Yin and Yang, yes? The symbol everybody knows in the world. And there is that nice saying, Yin and Yang have a mother. The mother sometimes simply being illustrated as one circle. So Yin and Yang as the expression from duality, polarity, existence of number two. Where do the two come from? They must come from one.

• 18:03Speaker 02

  So, simple like in our way, you are there, I am here, one, two, where do we come from? There must be something that we have as a common denominator. And this source is the only thing that can connect us.

• 18:21Speaker 02

  Because it's not your family, it's not my family, they're still different. That is not enough, going just looking at we are humans. Animals same. Whatever and whoever gave us the possibility to be here is the same who gave you the permission, it's the same who gave me the permission and the blessing. And this is what I think, this is the level of mind, this is the level of connection that never leaves you lonely. This is the one that I, that I mean.

• 19:00Steven Bartlett?

  Being connected to the source?

• 19:01Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 19:02Steven Bartlett?

  Now, for someone that is listening to this and is confused at this juncture and they're asking themselves, what is that source? You've described it in many potential ways, but it's the, my attempt at describing it is, it is ultimately where we came from. That is, that is the source. Is there a better way of describing it for people that might be unfamiliar with the concept?

• 19:26Speaker 02

  First of all, I cannot speak without it and it would make sense to everyone. That's already the first very, very difficult part. That's why my intention is never to say, what is it? The only thing I can do is to like give pointers. But ultimately, there's only one person who will be able to find it out. And it's not me finding it out for somebody else. Everybody will find out for himself or herself. So every human being, I do think, is at a different level of his, um, of his growth, of his development.

• 20:08Speaker 02

  And everybody gets what he needs exactly in the moment where he is in. Which is why I think everybody at this moment in time is exactly where he needs to be for the next elevation to take place. The only thing you need to do is look at yourself right now and just find out, what is it?

• 20:33Speaker 02

  That makes you unhappy. What exactly is it that at this moment in your life is binding you and restricting you from moving on? And this is the same question for everyone. But what you ultimately need to tackle is different. In the past, I sometimes played Super Mario and Luigi. And it's the same if you don't like manage level number one, you won't see level number two. The challenges for number two won't come. The end boss from number two is not going to come. First, you finish level one. But once number one is finished, you won't face the same stuff anymore.

• 21:15Speaker 02

  And there is something along this line where it sometimes is like a game at the same time. Don't take it so serious. It helps.

• 21:25Steven Bartlett?

  On that point of we're all struggling with something based on the levels we're at, if you had to try and summarize what the common answer is to what people are struggling with, what do you think that might be? I was thinking about my best friends, because sometimes it's easier to step outside of oneself and look at others. When I was reflecting on the conversations I've had with them over the last couple of weeks about things they're struggling with, and I would define a lot of it as wanting. So wanting to improve their businesses, wanting to improve maybe their romantic situations and find love. I would say the essence of it, the suffering seems to be striving for something that they're unable to grab.

• 22:10Steven Bartlett?

  But I wondered if you had a different perspective on that?

• 22:12Speaker 02

  Two things that right now would come to my mind. There is always the struggle between doing and being.

• 22:27Speaker 02

  Doing, I would ask, why are you doing? So why? Why do you want to go into action? Mostly, there is a goal.

• 22:39Speaker 02

  The goal, why do you have that goal? Because you're aiming at receiving something that in the moment where you have it, apparently you are lacking. So that means this type of goal-setting,

• 22:55Speaker 02

  in my perspective, I would automatically refer to it already, that your goal-setting already comes from a space of lack.

• 23:05Speaker 02

  You feel like you're lacking something. That's why you need to do. You feel like you're lacking something. That's why you need to educate yourself. Okay? So this is the one direction. Now, coming back, maybe it sounds again too philosophical. Connected with the source.

• 23:26Speaker 02

  There's nothing to add and there's nothing to take away from you.

• 23:32Speaker 02

  So apparently, when somebody has this very, very high ambition of doing something, achieving something,

• 23:41Speaker 02

  then most likely, the chances are there, this is not coming from a connection to the source. It is coming from the idea of wanting to nourish or create an identity. An identity that represents something that you think you want to represent. So this is the one area. The doing versus the being. And then the second thing is, that ultimately goes hand in hand with this way of living your life, is that one thing is being forgotten along the line.

• 24:25Speaker 02

  The truth of

• 24:28Speaker 02

  that whoever and whatever you are creating and are intending to create and are intending to gather now and starting to attain things. Your attainment maximum is going to last 100 years. That is the other truth.

• 24:49Speaker 02

  So, and

• 24:52Speaker 02

  I do believe people understand exactly what I said. But there comes the fight now again.

• 25:01Speaker 02

  The fight between, yes, between this very strong identity that wants to just maintain itself and the other side of just forget about your identity.

• 25:15Speaker 02

  Be as you are, that's it.

• 25:19Speaker 02

  No matter what you're going to attain, you have it for 100 years after what is gone. So, just be. Don't stress yourself too much with what you don't have. Well, unfortunately, and this is always going to continue like this. Unfortunately, there are always three ways how you're going to learn this. Sometimes people just need to have the experience to realize, "Okay, I did it, I got it. Now I realize I don't need it." But in the first place, you need to have it. First way of learning. Second way of learning, you do trust a certain teacher,

• 26:02Speaker 02

  you do trust a certain guide or a mentor.

• 26:07Speaker 02

  You just copy the way how he's living his life. So, your approach is you just copy because you see, "Oh, apparently the person lives a good life." So you just copy. Second way of learning. And the third way of learning is you maybe have like a teacher or a master. He tells you some wise words. You contemplate about it, you think about it, and because you are thinking about it, it already puts you on the alternative path without you needing to try it for yourself. So, and there will always be people in this world in these three categories.

• 26:43Speaker 02

  Because, you know, simply said, telling somebody, look, don't, don't put your hand in the fire.

• 26:51Speaker 02

  They're still gonna do it, but latest when they do it like two times, three times, then it's done.

• 26:56Steven Bartlett?

  But a lot of people never get the thing that they're pursuing. So, you know, someone might say, I wanna be a millionaire, or I wanna have a, this Lamborghini sports car. The majority of people who aspire to that statistically won't ever reach it. So they'll spend their whole life just in pursuit. They'll never get the lesson of part one where you try it and you realize that.

• 27:20Speaker 02

  But maybe that is also already the lesson involved in this person's life.

• 27:30Speaker 02

  You have this goal in the mind, you, you put all your energy, all your effort into trying to achieve that. You're twenty years old, you're trying, you're thirty years old, you're trying, forty years already, you're still trying. Fifty years, you still haven't let go of the idea. Well, at some point, hopefully, you see exactly that,

• 27:58Speaker 02

  that senseless approach of how you personally already wasted thirty years of following a goal with the conclusion of two things. Number one, you haven't achieved it yet, or number two, you didn't have the right way of achieving it. But the bottom line is, you have two ways now, what to do. Let go of the idea that you needed and, and redirect your life, or redirect your approach of how you still want to achieve that goal if you don't wanna let go of it. But apparently, one of these two things is, is not right.

• 28:36Speaker 02

  And the more you want your life now, let's say, in the future, to be quite different than what you're used to, the more you need to be able to let go.

• 28:51Speaker 02

  Let go of patterns, let go of the way of thoughts that you had in the, in the last years and months. Now, if nothing changes about that, there will not come a new life.

• 29:04Steven Bartlett?

  So many of us live in patterns, the same cycles. And we end up getting the same results. And those results result in unhappiness and suffering. And I was speaking to a friend over the weekend about how one of our other friends has lived in a bit of a pattern. And they've been unable to find love and companionship because of some things that happened when they were younger. I think they were bullied. So they have this sort of deeper sense of having to prove themselves and insecurity. And this shows up all the time because when they meet someone, they present a facade which might not necessarily be accurate. And then very quickly, the relationship ends because it was never real in the first place. But this person's now aware of it.

• 29:49Steven Bartlett?

  But it's still happening over and over again. They're still living out the same pattern in their life and still getting the same results and dissatisfaction. So when we think about trauma at an early age that results in this sort of cyclical pattern of getting same behavior, same results. I wondered if you had a perspective on how one can let go of that and therefore break the pattern?

• 30:10Speaker 02

  And so let me draw you a picture.

• 30:15Speaker 02

  I was a four-year-old boy, having father and mother, Asian origin, being refugees from Vietnam Laos, meaning they ran away from the war, coming to Europe, coming to Germany with the idea that for the children to have a better security on the one side, feeling more safe in Germany without the instability that they witness in their own country. And so, of course, father and mother with this idea put a lot of pressure in early ages already

• 30:58Speaker 02

  in terms of you need to be good at school, you need to achieve, you need to prove yourself. So this is the education from father and mother. At the same time, with the age of four, I went into a Shaolin Kung Fu school, learning martial arts. And every martial artist practitioner probably knows, teachers and masters usually are not the ones telling you, "Oh, yes, you did that very good. Yes, very well." No, they just say, "Okay, more."

• 31:31Speaker 02

  Faster, harder. So bottom line is, from the age of four, growing up, the only thing that in a way I felt was, actually you're never enough. No matter what I brought home in terms of grades, if it was a B, why was it not an A? If it was an A, why is it not an A plus? If I did already one hundred push-ups, question is, why don't you make one hundred fifty? Yeah, if I was fast already, it was still not fast enough. So constantly this type of never enough. Okay, ultimately meaning, and this is all now, I can just tell you forty years later, but now I can see it. Ultimately meaning that at some point, this little boy started simply to

• 32:17Speaker 02

  build up a shield, build up such a shield to be less dependent anymore on what other people

• 32:27Speaker 02

  think about me. Meaning, I just started to rely everything in my life purely on what I think. At the same time, building up emotional blockages and emotional walls, nothing to penetrate and at the same time also nothing to express to the outside. So now, having entered into like a very new circumstance in my life, where I need to take into consideration the opinion and their emotional state yeah, of my beloved, of my partner, of my son.

• 33:06Speaker 02

  I can feel how my old patterns sometimes are still trying to sneak in. And so the only thing to do is, what to do to break patterns? Number one, you need to see you have one. And number two, you need to replace old patterns, which ultimately mean patterns, it's habitual behavior, it's habits. How do you build habits? By continuous behavioral patterns that you continuously do. So there is something about consistency and continuity that ultimately builds a pattern. So, and this is now where, for example, in this field of martial arts, that's exactly what it's about.

• 33:52Speaker 02

  Consistency of having a training regimen every day. This is, you know, it's not helpful to like six days per week, do nothing. And then you go one day to the gym and give your everything, you know. It's better you have some type of consistency throughout the whole day. This is what builds patterns, healthy patterns.

• 34:20Speaker 02

  And so similar like this, I would describe now. What is somebody supposed to do? Number one, look at yourself and see yourself. We are all not perfect.

• 34:33Speaker 02

  But according to the circumstances that you are facing right now, today.

• 34:39Speaker 02

  What type of character do you think? With what do you want to equip your character? That he is able to go through this current times in the best possible manner. What is not useful for you anymore? Try to get rid of it and get your new skills in.

• 34:58Steven Bartlett?

  And then train those.

• 35:00Speaker 02

  And then train, of course.

• 35:01Steven Bartlett?

  Those new patterns. We don't often think about training. Some of the virtues that we want to acquire and the patterns we want to have. We, we kind of think that we have to select them and then we'll do our best to live them. But the idea that I might have to train. Certain new behaviors is a really compelling one because you're right. In the context of any physical development, I have to go to the gym and I have to. Do my repetitions to build that thing, that strength. But I was just thinking about creating a training regimen from, for certain behaviors. And new patterns that I want in my life and trying to make sure I do them every day. Which is not something that I've, I've ever considered.

• 35:43Steven Bartlett?

  Three months ago, you became a dad to a young boy, to a young son.

• 35:47Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 35:48Steven Bartlett?

  And so you're now in the process of raising a man yourself. And there's a lot of dialogue at the moment in the UK, but also just broadly in the Western world around what it is to be a man. And how to to raise men. I think much of this dialogue has been sparked by some shocking statistics that show young men are struggling now more than ever in various ways. And I think the single biggest killer of men under the age of forty five is themselves. And also, there's just an overarching sense of, I think, purposeless meaninglessness, that they're struggling in school more so than women are. Some forecasts predict that for every two women that graduate university or college, only one man will graduate in the near future. And it's pretty, it's pretty shocking. So when I think about the way that you're intent on raising your young, your young man,

• 36:34Steven Bartlett?

  but also what it is that young men in particular are missing in their lives, I wondered if you had had an answer.

• 36:43Speaker 02

  From this moment.

• 36:46Speaker 02

  There's one thing I can tell by myself what I would absolutely prevent. When it would come, let's say, to the education or what I share with my son. Like I said, I felt I was never enough. There was always something that additionally needed to be done. So which literally means for me, for my son, there is nothing to be done. There is nothing he has to achieve.

• 37:16Speaker 02

  If there, if there would be something, it is stay connected.

• 37:21Speaker 02

  So in terms of. I don't see myself as somebody who is now having the responsibility to shape my son. No, I only provide the framework. I try to provide the most safe framework for my son. He can try out whatever he wants. If he fails, he will learn by himself to get up again and keep trying. So, you know, to fail and then to continue. I just wanna build up this framework as good as I can to make him feel safe. But trial and error is what I do believe is the way how you find yourself.

• 38:06Speaker 02

  So definitely not being spoiled, but at the same time also not like keeping something away from him, where I make him feel like he's not enough. So ultimately, I do think in the modern way of how to express it in all these attachment theories, very simple. Of course, it's the secure, the secure way of being a stable, own-built, self-made, self-sufficient individual, who knows his own value. Why? Because he failed and got up.

• 38:43Steven Bartlett?

  Why do you think so many young men are struggling?

• 38:54Speaker 02

  Whatever shows up right now, at this moment, yeah, 2025, it didn't start in 2025. Whatever appears right now, sometimes it's the result of how things have been handled, how the education has been from previous years, whether it's the last 10 years, whether it's the last 20 years. So it's not necessarily what did the generation right now do, did wrong, let's say. No, it's also the question of what did the previous generation missed to keep passing on? That ultimately led to the result that we have nowadays.

• 39:36Speaker 02

  So, and this is the question where, where I do think it's multi-layered.

• 39:45Steven Bartlett?

  You gave a TED Talk in 2020, almost five years ago now, about the five hindrances. What are the five hindrances? You described them as five mental states that are holding us back.

• 40:02Speaker 02

  Let's put the context first.

• 40:07Speaker 02

  Take a symbol. Just you have a goal setting, you set yourself whatever goal it is. You have your goal. So your mind is set on the goal.

• 40:18Speaker 02

  Normally.

• 40:20Speaker 02

  The five hindrances now simply describe. There are five mental states. That would actually. Make it difficult for you to still keep your goal in the mind. Whatever goal that is. So. The number one. For example, is called sensual desire. Sensual desire means you are too receptive. For any type of pleasurable feeling. In regards to your five senses. You are being too quickly attracted when you see something beautiful.

• 40:59Speaker 02

  You are too quickly attracted if you smell something tasty. You are too quickly distracted when like you have like physical touch. You know, so the first hindrance means. You're you're losing the goal already. Because in the moment, something pleasurable is being presented to you. Your your mind has shifted already. So that means that first mental state only means. Look, be aware of what is it that you are very easily attracted to?

• 41:32Speaker 02

  It doesn't say it's bad, it doesn't say it's good, it just says in the context of. You want to reach your goal, how to reach the goal the quickest? Be focused with your energy. Meaning be focused with the mind. Don't lose the goal from the mind. Whatever you do from the moment of waking up until the evening, whatever you do, keep the goal in the mind. This is the quickest way of making this goal become real. Number two.

• 42:02Speaker 02

  Simply said, you don't like discomfort.

• 42:06Speaker 02

  You don't like challenges, you don't like hardship.

• 42:11Speaker 02

  In that TEDx talk, I described it like you're like walking along the path and then suddenly it starts to rain, but you don't like rain. So instead of you just continue follow the path, you are starting to make your mind busy about what you don't like. Yeah, and already that means the mind starts to shift again, losing the focus of the goal. So this idea, hindrance number one, hindrance number two, actually you can easily say like this.

• 42:46Speaker 02

  This is the goal. Two things not to do.

• 42:51Speaker 02

  Spend your time enjoying, don't do this, or spend your time rejecting that things are not the way how you imagine them to be.

• 43:05Speaker 02

  Both of these things, one is you follow pleasure and the other thing you're rejecting any challenges. Both of these things is something to be aware of when it comes to stay focused along the path.

• 43:19Steven Bartlett?

  When we think about this first hindrance of sensual desire, is this where discipline comes into play? The idea of discipline, because that word is often used, but it's often lacking a clear definition, but also a clear understanding of how one attains and exhibits discipline. Because when I think about the things that require me to have discipline, it is these desires, it is the five gates, it is something I want to eat, it is maybe some kind of touch that I want to have, etc., etc. So is this where discipline is important?

• 43:54Speaker 02

  No, even for example, like in the book, or even now when we talk about we have the five hindrances, we have the 14 virtues, we have the eight rules, we have the four here and the 13 here and the 16.

• 44:13Speaker 02

  It's a very good guideline because it makes it easy for us humans to have something like really structured. There are four steps, there are six steps, there are five steps, whatsoever. What I want to say is, just in this way, it's also that only discipline wouldn't be helpful if in the first place you do not possess the ability to see it, to realise it, to be aware of it. Meaning, you have discipline, but you are never aware actually when is the

• 44:56Speaker 02

  moment actually appearing right now, that this sensory desire is hitting in. You're not aware of it. So the discipline wouldn't help you if you don't have this awareness. So always meaning, I do think that there are different, different qualities of the mind that come into play for you to, to adjust yourself properly.

• 45:25Steven Bartlett?

  I was thinking about my friend when you mentioned awareness there, the friend I described earlier, who exhibits the same pattern. And although they might be aware of the pattern, they might say, you know, I have this pattern, I don't believe they're aware of the moment where that pattern begins, like this singular trigger which sends them in that, in that loop. So I was, and I was thinking the same about myself. I was like, there's some behaviours that I have that I don't like. And although I'm aware of them, in the moment when it happens, I might not be conscious that it's, the pattern has begun, that someone has said something, something has happened. And then you go on that pattern, or you reach into the refrigerator at 1am in the morning and grab

• 46:09Steven Bartlett?

  the thing, or you end up being triggered by something. So I wondered if there's a practice at all to become, increase our awareness of the trigger moment?

• 46:17Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 46:20Speaker 02

  This is, for example, where I very much appreciate so many different teachings that are meanwhile existing freely available, for example, through the social media, including breathwork, including yoga practices, all of them. If you have a proper teacher, I'm very sure that this is exactly what is starting to raise your awareness for something that in this field, when you're spending some time, we refer to as energy. If you're not aware of your own innerst layer, let's say like this, and somebody insults

• 47:01Speaker 02

  you, it can happen that like somebody, so somebody insulted me and then I just started exploding. Yeah, but the fact is, before something explodes, before I explode, first of all, something must be lit. Already the small little flame already must have been lit. So when I already knew who is it that I'm gonna meet, maybe that already knowing, hearing the name from him already was, ah, was already the starting point of a potential explosion to happen, yeah? So then, ah, this was where when this little flame already started being there. And then you literally can feel things like this.

• 47:46Speaker 02

  You can feel when something is, has been injected, let's say, into you, when something starts to arise. Because when the fire is already too big, when the whole house is burning, you're not gonna, you're not gonna put down that fire in any way. You can only put down all of these fires before things come too big. Meaning, we must find a way to be directly grabbing the root, grabbing the core, or grabbing the source of the explosion. And the only way that I know is you need to become more sensitive for everything that

• 48:30Speaker 02

  goes on in your body, in your surrounding, in everything. This is where, for me, awareness does play a role.

• 48:46Speaker 02

  And, yes.

• 48:49Speaker 02

  And especially when it comes to becoming aware of your emotional states, this is absolutely inner work. This has nothing to do with doing work out here. It's inner work.

• 49:02Steven Bartlett?

  How does one begin the journey of doing that inner work?

• 49:07Speaker 02

  You give trust in the vision that when you are investing your time right now to become more aware of yourself, of your emotional state, that this is going to benefit your life. That's the starting point.

• 49:21Steven Bartlett?

  Hmm, you believe in it?

• 49:22Speaker 02

  You believe in it. So you don't do it because somebody tells you you're supposed to do it. You do it because you genuinely believe this is the way. Yeah, I want to know more about myself.

• 49:37Speaker 02

  I want to really understand what is it that I am made out of?

• 49:44Speaker 02

  You want to figure out, is there something

• 49:48Speaker 02

  inside of myself? I tried to look away for many years, but I know it's still there and was afraid to look at it. All of these things. There's only one way to make yourself free.

• 50:03Speaker 02

  You need to become transparent.

• 50:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, if there are, if there are spots inside of ourself where there's no light yet,

• 50:16Speaker 02

  it can't be.

• 50:20Speaker 02

  It can't be.

• 50:23Speaker 02

  Bringing light to everything that has been in the dark. This is another area of the past,

• 50:33Speaker 02

  which at some point, everybody will face.

• 50:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, and even though that is, even though that this is now just like a saying, but

• 50:45Speaker 02

  just the idea.

• 50:49Speaker 02

  Whatever you're doing, whatever you're thinking, whether people are around you or you're alone,

• 50:56Speaker 02

  just imagine there is one who always sees what you're doing. So live your life based on that.

• 51:06Steven Bartlett?

  And that person is you?

• 51:10Speaker 02

  Also.

• 51:12Steven Bartlett?

  Who else is it?

• 51:14Speaker 02

  It's the elevated version of you, but it's true. It's you and you.

• 51:20Steven Bartlett?

  Once I've shone a light on that area of me, so I have greater awareness of its existence and it's now transparent. Is it a case then of what is the work I then have to do to make a change in that in that context? So we're talking here about managing one's emotions and getting a grip of one's emotions. So you can avoid being triggered or perpetrating the same patterns in your life that have led you to the same outcomes. First, you believe that it's possible to to change. You gain a greater awareness of the parts of yourself that you've kept in the dark, that you might want to change. And then what does one do from there?

• 52:03Speaker 02

  Because I came, let's say, from this martial art field, yes? Also, meaning the Tao is teaching or the principles of Yin and Yang have always been a part in there.

• 52:18Speaker 02

  Let me put it like this.

• 52:21Speaker 02

  Whatever you are thinking, saying or doing

• 52:29Speaker 02

  has

• 52:32Speaker 02

  a consequence.

• 52:34Speaker 02

  So this consequence that you have created or that you are intending to create,

• 52:41Speaker 02

  ask yourself, what is that consequence actually? Does it make yourself? Does it make your being, your interaction with people?

• 52:54Speaker 02

  Does it make it feel more light? More pleasurable? More enjoying? More free?

• 53:04Speaker 02

  More nourishing? Or is the result that you are about to create going in the other direction? Meaning, you're nourishing conflict, you're nourishing aggression, feeling like you are carrying the suffering of the world on your shoulder, feeling like there's a burden on you, feeling like there's a stone on your heart, feeling like you're being put under pressure. See, all of these expressions have something to do with density, have something to do with pressure. Yeah, but then when we look at, no matter which tradition it is, Buddhism, enlightenment, freedom, liberation, elevation,

• 53:50Speaker 02

  no matter what it is. You see, it is just two forces in the world. Two forces in the world. One aiming for limitlessness and the other one aiming for restricting and very clear boundaries. These are the two forces.

• 54:11Speaker 02

  And this is exactly now turning the view upon yourself. What are you made out of? Your patterns, the emotional states that follow you within a week. Within a week, looking back the last week, what was the most dominating emotion you felt inside yourself? Was it one that had the character of limiting yourself in a way? Or were you in an emotional state like through the week? This was light, it was cool, liberated, free, uplifting, joyful? Which of these? So, and this simply gives you exactly from what to what do I think

• 54:55Speaker 02

  you need to transform yourself if you want this? If you want this? So, and...

• 55:07Speaker 02

  ¿Por qué creo que este es el objetivo?

• 55:11Steven Bartlett?

  La ligereza.

• 55:12Speaker 02

  La ligereza. Vamos a imaginar que después de esta conversación, tu mejor amigo o tu mejor novia te van a preguntar: "¿Cómo fue esta conversación?" Y aunque solo estamos hablando tres horas, cuatro horas, incluso si pasas dos días explicándote a tu mejor amigo cómo fue esta conversación, no es la verdad.

• 55:37Speaker 02

  No es la verdad.

• 55:41Speaker 02

  ¿Cómo es esta conversación? ¿Cómo es esta conversación? Incluso ahora mismo, ni siquiera podemos hablar de ello.

• 55:51Speaker 02

  Te diré cómo es esta conversación ahora mismo, ¿verdad?

• 55:59Speaker 02

  ¿Cómo quieres describir esto?

• 56:04Speaker 02

  Tú, solo tú serás el único que jamás sabrá cómo es esto. No importa quién te va a preguntar después, qué vas a decirles.

• 56:18Speaker 02

  ¿Quieres sentirlo? Necesitas experimentarlo. No hay otra manera. Y esta es la naturaleza de las palabras. Por eso vienen estas historias antiguas. Por ejemplo, un maestro y su estudiante caminan en la montaña temprano en la mañana. Luego se levanta el sol y luego el estudiante dice: "Oh, maestro, ¡qué bello solazo!" Y luego el maestro lo agarró y nunca lo lleva a caminar más. Luego tú dices: "¿Por qué el maestro lo trató tan duro?" Porque en el momento en que dices algo que experimentas, una palabra, te limitas a su naturaleza.

• 57:05Speaker 02

  Te limitas a su naturaleza naturalmente. Entonces, ¿cómo se traduce esto ahora en lo que podemos hacer con este conocimiento?

• 57:18Speaker 02

  Lo que sea que sea denso y que esté limitando, no creo que sea el camino.

• 57:27Speaker 02

  I think everything for us to practice is look beyond limitations. Look beyond the words. Look beyond the shape. Practice to look beyond the superficiality of things.

• 57:46Speaker 02

  Because this is where the meaning lies, or this is where

• 57:51Speaker 02

  part of the

• 57:53Speaker 02

  part of the realization lies.

• 57:57Steven Bartlett?

  I think in my life, I want to be liked. But the way that my life tends to operate is I might aspire for that. But then I fall into almost a bit of an autopilot. And I run the same pattern throughout the week and the same. I respond in the same ways to the same external stimulus. So although one might aspire to be freer and to be less agitated or to be, you know, all those things. I quickly fall back into my old path, my old autopilot. Because life does seem to come at me pretty quickly.

• 58:37Steven Bartlett?

  If I look at my calendar, it's just full every day. So I wake up and like I woke up this morning and I'm like with one eye open, looking at my phone schedule to figure out like what day it is and what that means and what I have to do and what's just happened. And all the podcasts has gone out and I've got this email from this person and there's my calendar. When I'm late by 20 minutes. And although I might have the day before said to myself that this week we're going to be joyful and light and free. It feels like the week hits me like a truck and then boom, autopilot.

• 59:10Speaker 02

  So our goal is set in a way. And now comes the next realization, just because your goal is set. Doesn't mean this life is going to give you exactly what you're looking for.

• 59:22Speaker 02

  Meaning,

• 59:24Speaker 02

  you really must make sure how important is that goal really for you? Because, you know, I

• 59:36Speaker 02

  I witness it in my life as well. So at some point, you know, when it started to become a lot public, you know, the calendar went full. And at some point, I said to myself, "Okay, now it's becoming too full. Let's start to settle down a bit. Let's start to stay a little bit more in the background." Yeah, but then still like requests coming in still. And then you would think, "Ah, come this one still." Yeah, but ultimately, it's really up to you. How much do you really want it? And it's going to continue like this until you will ultimately come to the point, and it's going to come quickly, I do think. Yeah.

• 1:00:24Speaker 02

  Where you realize for yourself that it's an infinite that it's an infinite direction of possibilities. They will never run out. But you will still have to figure out what is it that you really want from your life.

• 1:00:43Steven Bartlett?

  People will say, "Well, I want to have a mansion, and I would like to have a private jet, and I would like to have a beautiful partner, or I'd like to have a trophy."

• 1:00:57Speaker 02

  Valid, absolutely understandable as well.

• 1:01:02Speaker 02

  But I do think that this universe

• 1:01:06Speaker 02

  is going to let you realize your lesson in the way how you need it.

• 1:01:14Speaker 02

  Ja, du wirst deine Menge haben, du wirst deine schöne,

• 1:01:20Speaker 02

  schöne Frau haben. Du wirst alles haben. Es gibt etwas, was dich zurück in die Reihenfolge hineinbringt.

• 1:01:27Speaker 02

  Es gibt etwas, was dich zurück in die Reihenfolge hineinbringt, das dir sagt, dass du dich wieder anpassen musst.

• 1:01:34Speaker 02

  Warum? Warum, warum, warum?

• 1:01:39Speaker 02

  Weil es immer so war.

• 1:01:43Speaker 02

  Wir kommen mit nichts. Wir gehen mit nichts.

• 1:01:49Speaker 02

  Was bedeutet das?

• 1:01:52Speaker 02

  Dieses Universum wird dir sicherstellen, dass du mit nichts gehen wirst. Was bedeutet: An einem Punkt, bevor es Zeit ist, dich zu gehen, wirst du mit dem Fakt zu tun, dass du lernst, dass du verlierst, was du in deiner Lebenzeit erlangt hast. Und wenn du nicht lernst und nicht verstanden hast, dass das kommt,

• 1:02:19Speaker 02

  dann denke ich, es ist ein sehr, sehr schweres Wachstum. Es ist ein sehr schmerzliches Wachstum.

• 1:02:26Speaker 02

  Um zu realisieren, um diese Realisierung zu haben, dass du 70, 80 Jahre deinen Ziel verfolgt hast und jetzt gibt es keine andere Wahl. Du musst verlieren.

• 1:02:45Speaker 02

  Ja. Es ist nicht meine Invention. Es ist nur meine Beobachtung.

• 1:02:52Speaker 02

  Und das ist warum, jetzt vielleicht, wir jumpen ein wenig. Es gibt in den alten Traditionen, in dem Text des Chan-Buddhismus, des Zen-Buddhismus, ist es sehr einfach so: Wie weißt du, dass du dieses Pass, diese Tradition in einem in einem guten Maße praktiziert hast?

• 1:03:17Speaker 02

  Es ist einfach durch das Gefühl innerlich, wie einfach und wie willkürlich bist du eigentlich, etwas zu verlieren, was du hast?

• 1:03:29Speaker 02

  If you feel that you are mentally attached to still things, still, mentally attached to possession, you're far, you're far away from, from the state of being what this Chan Buddhism, what this Chan teaching is wanting to like, reveal to you.

• 1:03:51Speaker 02

  What it also means is, if you have the possibility of attaining everything that you were speaking about, you are absolutely happy to do so. You can own everything. It's never about promoting, to have this is not good, no. But to have attachment, at least in this type of tradition, will have consequence. So it's not about what is it that you possess. It's about, what of these possessions are possessing you?

• 1:04:27Speaker 02

  That's it.

• 1:04:28Steven Bartlett?

  And therefore, is it possible to possess things and to pursue the possession of things while also having a relationship with them where they don't possess you? I, can I go in pursuit of getting a, what's something that one might want? A sports car? And is it possible to then have the sports car and pursue it without it possessing me? And therefore, me avoiding the consequences that come with that unhealthy relationship to possession?

• 1:05:02Steven Bartlett?

  Because in your life, there must be things that you're pursuing, and you get those things. So your book sells a million copies. Your YouTube channel does exceptionally well. You pursued those things.

• 1:05:14Speaker 02

  Let's start with a sports car.

• 1:05:15Steven Bartlett?

  Okay.

• 1:05:18Speaker 02

  It depends on the rest of the circumstances. So let me put it like this.

• 1:05:23Speaker 02

  If the salary that you have, for example, is just as much that you can pay your rent, nevertheless, you want to have that sports car, therefore, take a loan, then buy the sports car. It's very probable you're gonna be very attached to the car.

• 1:05:42Speaker 02

  Yeah? Simply because out of the out of the situation you bought it from. Yeah, you didn't buy it from a from a position of abundance. Yeah? So this is already not a good starting point to afford something that you actually cannot afford. So differently it is when

• 1:06:04Speaker 02

  you have the possibilities and you just spend the time and spend also the money on the sports car and see it what it is and realistically see it what how much time you, let's say, spent with it. I do think the excitement in the beginning is there for a week. Maybe a month, that's already long. But it's fading. And at some point, there will even be a day you don't even see it because you're busy. Then there will be a week when you see the car once standing around somewhere. And then there will be a month passing by where you are traveling the world and you're not even sure anymore when was it the last time that you were riding it? So, and these are things like when you observe them

• 1:06:49Speaker 02

  and actually realize, yeah, it's the truth. This is how the how the development of things with possessions is. In the beginning, it's always like you want to have, you want to have. And then they fade.

• 1:07:01Speaker 02

  So...

• 1:07:03Speaker 02

  And diving into this type of mentality of really understanding wanting, wanting is the one part, and then realizing, how is life really? Do you need it? Is it necessary? Can you afford it? Is the second part. It just opens another perspective. And then you just decide for yourself.

• 1:07:27Speaker 02

  Yeah? But so, whether something is possessing you or you can possess something without being attached to it very much is linked to all of this.

• 1:07:38Speaker 02

  From which position did you buy it from? Did you attain it from? And then the second thing is, how much time do you literally really spend with it?

• 1:07:47Steven Bartlett?

  The second of the five hindrances is ill will. A negative emotion such as dislike stops you from chasing a goal.

• 1:07:57Steven Bartlett?

  Can you give me some context on this one? What do you mean by ill will?

• 1:08:04Speaker 02

  No, good. I make it super simple when it comes to the five hindrances. Literally, it's like this.

• 1:08:12Speaker 02

  You know, whatever, whatever appears in our life.

• 1:08:17Speaker 02

  If I have my goal set right now, what you are not supposed to do is to witness something. And now, if you have like the number one sensual desire, sensory desire, what we tend to do is we like start to pull things towards us. Okay, that's number one. The second thing, what not to do, this is what it all belongs to that family of non-judgment. It's like when ill will, something appears in your life, something you witness. You meet a person you don't wanna meet, you get the message, you don't wanna read that message, whatever it is. And you try to avoid it by doing actions in order to push it away from you.

• 1:09:01Speaker 02

  So what it ultimately means is, don't do any of them because

• 1:09:07Speaker 02

  whatever you try to hold on to, the nature of thing is that this is happening.

• 1:09:13Steven Bartlett?

  Swinging away.

• 1:09:14Speaker 02

  It's gonna move away from you. And whatever you try to avoid and push away from you is just a question of time until it's gonna move like pretty close towards you.

• 1:09:27Steven Bartlett?

  It's gonna come towards you.

• 1:09:28Speaker 02

  It's gonna come towards you, okay?

• 1:09:31Speaker 02

  So that means.

• 1:09:35Speaker 02

  Also in the way of how it's expressed, don't touch the water. If you don't want to have a life that is too shaky,

• 1:09:46Speaker 02

  don't touch the water.

• 1:09:49Speaker 02

  Because in the moment you touch, your touch is the initiation for the ripples to appear.

• 1:09:56Speaker 02

  Same way, you wanna follow that goal, you wanna have it easy along that goal. Don't touch any additional water along your goal. Don't touch it because you like something and don't touch it because you dislike something. Because when you walk towards a goal and you do here and here and here, you're just gonna ripple your whole surroundings, which ultimately means your energy is being just drawn away from your initial goal. That's how I would say it is. And ill will is one of these expressions of you don't like something and then you invest the energy there. You like something and it draws your energy back to there.

• 1:10:39Speaker 02

  And ill will is similar in this category belonging to this idea of don't push, don't pull.

• 1:10:49Steven Bartlett?

  As you've become more popular and you've got millions and millions of views across the internet, your TED Talk, I think from the link, one of the links that I saw had some 20 million views and it probably has tens of more millions of views all over the internet.

• 1:11:04Steven Bartlett?

  There's gonna be more and more people

• 1:11:07Steven Bartlett?

  sending you messages, interacting with you and

• 1:11:12Steven Bartlett?

  saying amazing things, saying not so amazing things. We experience this obviously as a podcaster, you just, you get, you receive all kinds of feedback from everybody. When you think about how you manage that and you manage other people's opinion of you, does this tie into ill will? And I guess the ultimate question is, do you care what people think about you?

• 1:11:33Speaker 02

  So there was a time I cared a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot, very much. But within the last five, six years, I really had my hard lessons, being perfectly honest. Number one thing I need to learn is also to really...

• 1:11:51Speaker 02

  Not take things too deep into consideration, especially from people that I've never met in my life. Number one. That is the first area I needed to learn. Which means all the, everything that's on social media, everything that is publicly available. This is one thing. Why? Because what they judge, or if they judge, or what they comment, they can only comment on the character that is actually being available to them. Which is ultimately what? Which is, for example, also, let's say, that person, Shi Hengyi. Yeah? Named Shi Hengyi on that cover. Always like having a good

• 1:12:35Speaker 02

  uniform, in a way, representing something, yes. But I'm simply not limited to only this type of representation. And this is something really, really important in general now, to bring out there to the world.

• 1:12:55Speaker 02

  It is not it is not good. It is not helpful.

• 1:13:04Speaker 02

  If this idea of putting people on

• 1:13:10Speaker 02

  on, how you call it? On on higher pedestal, or podest, is not a good idea. The idea of raising somebody up to be our guru, raising somebody up to be our master, raising somebody up, oh yes, he is the he is the special one. All of these things are doing exactly the opposite of what I'm trying to bring into the world. Of what I do believe is the key, especially in this times right now, worldwide.

• 1:13:47Speaker 02

  It is to become aware of the real and the fake.

• 1:13:53Speaker 02

  This is the, this is the current situation that we're in. That the threshold, that the line between whether something is real or whether something is artificial or not real, it's becoming so incredibly slim, that line. This is why, at the moment, our world seems, seems so fractured.

• 1:14:18Speaker 02

  There are the ones which are completely about, "Let's go into the nature", and then there's the other fraction, which is all about going into the technology, into everything that's available nowadays, where ultimately meaning,

• 1:14:33Speaker 02

  at some point, you will be able to just spend your whole life in your living room, because everything you want to see and want to partially experience, you just call it into your living room. It's going to be possible at some point in time. So, but why, how do we get to the point? Yeah, exactly because of this. It's not good if people raise you up and make you unhuman. And this is what is being attacked. So, this is number one, that takes a little bit the pressure off from me to take it too seriously. Because I just know, they are seeing something, but it's a fraction of what I am.

• 1:15:18Speaker 02

  This is number one. Second realization at the same time was,

• 1:15:26Speaker 02

  it's also not helpful, or wasn't helpful, and, and, or let's say, was also a lesson for me. Even the close people, even the very close people in my surrounding that stayed with me for eight, nine years,

• 1:15:41Speaker 02

  sometimes even such close people don't know who you are. Can also happen. Hurts double as much as people saying something about you that don't know you. Now you have people that you thought know you, and still they didn't get you. Also very painful.

• 1:16:00Speaker 02

  So, ultimately, leading only to one thing. It only leads to one thing. You would have right now the impression of, "So what's the only way? Just go your way regardless of what people think?" In a way, yes. But,

• 1:16:17Speaker 02

  have understanding for them.

• 1:16:21Speaker 02

  And and no ill will against them.

• 1:16:25Steven Bartlett?

  Have empathy for their lack of understanding.

• 1:16:28Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:16:31Speaker 02

  That is ultimately the only thing that me as a as a result for the current state of being.

• 1:16:39Speaker 02

  The that I took as my consequence.

• 1:16:44Speaker 02

  Yes, so be careful, be very aware, who are you letting into your circle? And ultimately rely on yourself and maintain your.

• 1:16:57Speaker 02

  Sorry to say, but it's the heart.

• 1:17:01Speaker 02

  Maintain the purity of your intention.

• 1:17:05Steven Bartlett?

  One of the things that I've I've noticed in your work is that you have this huge emphasis on being able to focus oneself. And when I talked to you about this brick, I think just before we started recording, you said to me that the average person on the street might not be able to break it. But if someone was really, really strong, they might be able to break it. However, the key to breaking this brick isn't strength necessarily. It's the ability to really, really focus. And when we talked about the five hindrances, they will sway us from focus. It will distract us from that ability to focus. So you've cultivated that ability to focus, which culminates in you being able to smash this brick with your hand. And it's not necessarily a strength thing, you're saying. It is this connection between mind and body focused at a particular moment.

• 1:17:46Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:17:46Steven Bartlett?

  So can you show me you smashing this brick?

• 1:17:51Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 1:17:55Steven Bartlett?

  Do you do you put the the brick in the in the middle of the blocks or do you just put it there?

• 1:17:59Speaker 02

  Put it like this.

• 1:18:00Steven Bartlett?

  Oh, so, okay, okay, so.

• 1:18:01Speaker 02

  I just chop it down on one side.

• 1:18:05Speaker 02

  Do you have another brick?

• 1:18:08Steven Bartlett?

  There's another one here.

• 1:18:11Steven Bartlett?

  You're gonna pick your brick.

• 1:18:19Speaker 02

  One is one is too easy.

• 1:18:49Steven Bartlett?

  Damn. So what were you doing then in the in the lead up to that?

• 1:18:54Speaker 02

  You just have your hands like here to the front.

• 1:18:58Speaker 02

  If I touch you like this and only do here, yeah? See, that's like, I don't have a good feeling for you. I don't have a good feeling for your body. Yeah, because it's like, it's superficial right now. What I do is like when I touch you.

• 1:19:16Speaker 02

  No, so it's not this type of touching you. When I touch you, I literally try to sense your body's structure. Yeah, I feel like inside you, where is the tension? Where's the relaxation inside the body?

• 1:19:33Speaker 02

  So it's like, we call it, I'm reading your body. I'm reading your body. How is it? Where is the energy locked? Where is it dense? Where is it loose? So the same I do with the stone. So when I, when I touch the stone, I literally feel inside like. Sounds funny, but I feel inside the structure of the, of the stone. I feel the density of the stone in my fingers. And then I just see, okay, now.

• 1:20:05Speaker 02

  So I, I know how the energy is gonna come down. I know how the energy is gonna come down. And then I just like, see how does it fit together? So on the one side, I feel the structure of the stone. On the other side, I know what type of energy is gonna come in. Those two I combine and then I just do it.

• 1:20:25Speaker 02

  That's it.

• 1:20:26Steven Bartlett?

  And how does that translate to life generally?

• 1:20:30Speaker 02

  Good question.

• 1:20:30Steven Bartlett?

  Because we, you know. It's not a problem I have day to day. But that ability to understand the energy of something and the structure of something and then really understand, be able to cultivate your own focused energy when you need it.

• 1:20:46Speaker 02

  I do, so do you need to have this ability to live a proper life? I don't think so. But somebody who is able to break the stone like this, definitely possesses some type of skill set, raises the probability that you can do something with that mindset in your daily life. Which means already, uh, the only way to do this is you know what consistency means. You know what patience means.

• 1:21:17Speaker 02

  You also know what like endurance means or like training means. And all of these character attributes that make it possible to break the stone just also builds the foundation, I would say, to integrate this now into other areas of life, yeah? So it's not about the breaking of the stone. But at the same time, it's also an expression of, look, the human, your body is capable of doing a lot of things. Yeah, and this is just one of them. There are so many extraordinary abilities that people can do nowadays. But all of them have one thing in common. You have a vision.

• 1:21:59Speaker 02

  And you find a proper way how to nourish that vision, that the vision becomes real. Similar like this.

• 1:22:09Steven Bartlett?

  So this is a consequence of

• 1:22:12Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:22:12Steven Bartlett?

  a long journey of several character traits and attributes, which you've cultivated over a long period of time. And this is just a symptom or a consequence of those things?

• 1:22:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's, that's exactly the thing. Similar like, you know, when, you know, when nowadays you look at any type of competition sports,

• 1:22:33Speaker 02

  the event itself, the competition is being recorded. That one minute performance. Yeah, or that nine rings or that three, three minutes, yeah? Yeah, but everything that makes it possible for them to perform in that one minute on that show, nobody sees what is lying in front of there. Similar like this, yeah, it's, it's with less than one second, the stone is broken. Yeah, but took like a few years to be able to do that one second.

• 1:23:07Steven Bartlett?

  And how long would it take me to learn how to do two bricks like you just did then? How long do you think you would have to spend training me? You're looking at my hand.

• 1:23:18Speaker 02

  Because it's important, because it's literally not only about, it's not just about the focus of the mind. It literally is also about building the density, now physically speaking, the density of the bone structure. So I can just give you, if you like, a little example. So what we do is, this part and this part of the arm, we just smash it like this.

• 1:23:44Steven Bartlett?

  Oh my gosh, this is like a...

• 1:23:46Speaker 02

  So like this.

• 1:23:47Steven Bartlett?

  Okay.

• 1:23:48Speaker 02

  You just try, like, one, come. Just go, go, go, really.

• 1:23:53Steven Bartlett?

  Oh my god.

• 1:23:56Steven Bartlett?

  Yours is like steel.

• 1:23:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, and this is what it is, yeah?

• 1:24:03Speaker 02

  So it is changing, if you want, you can like touch, you can feel it.

• 1:24:07Steven Bartlett?

  Yeah, it's like steel.

• 1:24:10Steven Bartlett?

  Mine's like polystyrene.

• 1:24:14Steven Bartlett?

  In comparison to that. Well, yours just feels like steel, it felt like I was hitting a bar or something. Okay, so you've got to build up the strength.

• 1:24:23Speaker 02

  But still, to answer the question, I do think

• 1:24:27Speaker 02

  three months, but dedicated training, yeah?

• 1:24:30Steven Bartlett?

  And what would that training look like?

• 1:24:33Speaker 02

  So right now, as I explained before, this is why I also like, in the book, I mentioned one of the grandmasters that I also learned a lot of the methods from. This is now, let's say it's a stone, yeah? Stone belonging to the family of earth, because, okay, earth. Now, in Asian tradition, we have like the five elements or the five transition phases. Wood, earth, metal, fire, water, like these five elements. So the proper training starts with the so-called wood training.

• 1:25:08Steven Bartlett?

  Okay.

• 1:25:08Speaker 02

  So we are using a lot of wooden material to actually condition our body. Yeah, so you're not gonna break stones, you break like, first of all, wooden things. After wood is no problem for you, then we go to the next layer, which is gonna be stone.

• 1:25:24Speaker 02

  This was this one, for example, after stone comes metal. And so like this, we go through all the layers until your body has increased in its abilities. You know the frequency of wood, you know the frequency of stone, you know the frequency and vibration of metal. This is how we increase our ability to just be able to actually maintain our strength in the field of all five elements.

• 1:25:54Steven Bartlett?

  You can break metal? Or you can hit metal?

• 1:25:57Speaker 02

  You can hit metal.

• 1:25:58Steven Bartlett?

  You can hit metal, okay.

• 1:25:59Speaker 02

  You can hit metal.

• 1:26:01Steven Bartlett?

  Thank you. Fascinating. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you.

• 1:26:04Speaker 02

  You're welcome.

• 1:26:06Steven Bartlett?

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• 1:26:50Steven Bartlett?

  Head to LinkedIn.com/DOAC. That's LinkedIn.com/DOAC and terms and conditions apply. I was really thinking a lot about these virtues.

• 1:27:04Steven Bartlett?

  In Shaolin tradition, virtues are a guiding system in both martial arts and daily life. A Shaolin warrior practices thinking deliberately and mindfully about the virtues of everyday life for his or her life. And there are two categories of virtues. The virtues to be expected and the virtues to be learnt.

• 1:27:25Steven Bartlett?

  What are these virtues that you speak about in the Shaolin tradition?

• 1:27:32Speaker 02

  Prior to somebody entering now, let's say, into the temple and wants to learn from there, first of all, we also as teachers want to find out.

• 1:27:45Speaker 02

  What does the character of that personality already possesses? Yeah? And these are, for example, what we are looking for are ultimately the virtues to be expected. Virtues to be expected are, for example, self-control, a certain amount of self-control, a certain amount of discipline.

• 1:28:11Steven Bartlett?

  So self-control, what does that mean in this context? If I'm self-controlled, what am I?

• 1:28:16Speaker 02

  You don't let your emotions run over you.

• 1:28:18Steven Bartlett?

  Okay.

• 1:28:18Speaker 02

  You don't... Even if something makes you angry, but in this context, it's not honorable. It's not respectful to now shout out. You shouldn't do it.

• 1:28:28Steven Bartlett?

  Okay.

• 1:28:29Speaker 02

  You should like be able to maintain your emotional states, maintain your temper, let's say, also at least to a certain extent. This is where I would say it comes to self-control.

• 1:28:43Steven Bartlett?

  And the second one you said was discipline.

• 1:28:45Speaker 02

  So, discipline meaning...

• 1:28:49Speaker 02

  You have, like I said, even if it's called the virtues to be expected. Expected means they should be visible somehow, but not to the fullest extent to what people are capable of. Okay? Discipline just meaning this understanding that if you come to the temper life, you know it's gonna be difficult to wake up every day at the same time and then start to do through the, go through the daily structure. So it needs some type of commitment, let's say. It needs some type of, I know it's hard, but I'm willing to do it, this type of discipline. Yeah? This is also in a way expected.

• 1:29:33Speaker 02

  And then another one is simply to be benevolent as well.

• 1:29:39Steven Bartlett?

  So that's kindness and compassion for your brothers and sisters?

• 1:29:42Speaker 02

  Kind of. It goes, yeah. The virtues sometimes swim into each other, but this idea of why do we have these virtues in the first place?

• 1:29:54Speaker 02

  Again, it's like in Star Wars. The force, what you're learning, the cultivation of energy, the skills that you are learning, they are, these are very, very powerful things.

• 1:30:09Speaker 02

  But what does, what makes the difference between somebody possessing this power and using it for the sake of humanity or somebody using it for the, for the not betterment of humanity? It's the character.

• 1:30:24Speaker 02

  The power is the same. It's the character. It's the carrier of the power. It's the one who is in, who is responsible to hold this power, to maintain this power. That one must be trained as well. And this is where the virtues hit in. The virtues are building the framework of the character, of the avatar. Ultimately, that is then receiving all different types of training, skill training, that we, that at least in the Shaolin tradition, we would say it's good to know them.

• 1:30:58Steven Bartlett?

  Same in business, really. I looked at a lot of these virtues and I thought they're all the kinds of things that we're looking for in a good team member. So discipline, self-control, modesty, benevolence, humility, respect, righteousness, trust, loyalty, willpower, perseverance, persistence, courage and patience.

• 1:31:18Speaker 02

  So ultimately, like I said before, in the Shaolin traditional texts is broken down into fourteen different virtues. Four of them to be expected, another five virtues of action, another five virtues of the mind. Just simply when you will later on fly through it again, the virtues of action. What does it mean, virtues of action? It is, how should you behave? How should you behave? Behave in a loyal way. Behave in a trustful way. Behave in a respectful way.

• 1:32:02Speaker 02

  Behave in a courageous way. Yeah, so this is the, how should you do something? And the virtues of mind, for example, they say, what is it that nourishes the way for you to put the virtues of action into practice? How can you be? How can you learn to behave respectfully? Because naturally, if people like insulting you, you don't behave respectfully towards them. Yeah? So how can you still behave respectfully? Still be loyal to people?

• 1:32:47Speaker 02

  How do you do it? Well, then this is where it then comes to the virtues of the mind. To really learn to be patient,

• 1:33:01Speaker 02

  to really know what does it mean to be persistent, to persevere during your training.

• 1:33:09Speaker 02

  And this is ultimately how I would describe it to easily understand.

• 1:33:13Steven Bartlett?

  Do you believe in a god? Or do you believe in a religion? If someone asked you which religion do you follow, what would your answer be?

• 1:33:22Speaker 02

  I would call it the religion of oneness. The religion of oneness. The religion of, I do believe that we are connected at some way. And it is my journey, I don't want to just intellectualize it.

• 1:33:43Speaker 02

  I do think it is an, it is a, it, the path is to lay out and remove all the friction and all the obstacles to just realize that it is like this.

• 1:33:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, this is maybe also like a very essential point along, along the complete line, whether somebody reads the book or whether somebody watches all these type of YouTube channels.

• 1:34:15Speaker 02

  I myself always grew up in the need to attain something, to add something up on top of my life. This tradition, the whole tradition I'm talking about, is actually quite the opposite.

• 1:34:32Speaker 02

  That's why in the latest in the latest videos or publications, for example, I often mention that actually there is nothing I can give to anyone. It's not that you missed something in your life. Yeah, remember, you're not in a lack. But in the moment where it feels like we are meeting and I give you something, when you even think that I'm giving you something and you are about to receive something, that's not the right state of mind already. I have nothing to give you.

• 1:35:04Speaker 02

  The only thing that I really try to do is take stuff away from you.

• 1:35:10Speaker 02

  Take things away from you that are covering that you see that you are complete.

• 1:35:17Steven Bartlett?

  What things tend to cover us that need to be taken away?

• 1:35:21Speaker 02

  Everything that builds up identity.

• 1:35:26Speaker 02

  Everything that builds up a stronger and stronger identity.

• 1:35:32Speaker 02

  Everything that you keep from the past in your mind.

• 1:35:37Speaker 02

  The more that you keep the past in the mind, the stronger your identity is. I do think this is one correlation that also goes hand in hand.

• 1:35:47Speaker 02

  The more you keep past elements inside your mind, the less likely you will be able to break free into the future and open up for the possibilities that this lifetime might still have for you.

• 1:36:02Steven Bartlett?

  Are you happy?

• 1:36:06Speaker 02

  It's a difficult question.

• 1:36:11Speaker 02

  I'm not searching for happiness.

• 1:36:14Speaker 02

  I'm searching for peace.

• 1:36:17Speaker 02

  So my state of what I'm aiming for, I would say it is peace.

• 1:36:24Speaker 02

  Because happiness for me, you are taken by this word. If there's happiness, there is sadness. If something can rise, something must fall.

• 1:36:38Speaker 02

  If you can attain something, there's something to lose. That's why it's difficult, that's why I stopped the moment. I don't know what type of happiness you mean. Being satisfied with where I'm standing, yes. Does it mean that I don't have hard moments? I have hard moments. And that's why for me, like, what is it I ultimately look for? I would call it is just peace. Are you at peace? More and more, yes. More and more? This one, yes, more and more. What's in the way of your peace?

• 1:37:14Speaker 02

  I would call it karmic relations, karmic connections, that you just think like,

• 1:37:24Speaker 02

  you cannot avoid them. You cannot avoid them anymore. What is karmic connections? Karmic connection meaning,

• 1:37:36Speaker 02

  because your mother gave birth to you automatically. Whatever your mother is doing or not doing, however the state of health of your mother is, is gonna affect you.

• 1:37:51Speaker 02

  In a way. So there are sometimes people in this world, you have a closer karmic relation towards them. So what they are doing is also going to affect you.

• 1:38:03Speaker 02

  And in my case, it's the same.

• 1:38:07Speaker 02

  So meaning, so literally, real life speaking. So my son, yes, he has a very strong karmic relation. He's on the one side, my own flesh and blood, together with my beloved. But it also means the way how my son feels, it is affecting me. And this is something that I still need to regulate, learn to regulate.

• 1:38:31Speaker 02

  Which also sometimes means, I mean, if you only sleep like two hours per night, then it is like this, but you have good training to still maintain your peace afterwards. But it is, these are simple things, yes?

• 1:38:49Steven Bartlett?

  And what is your practice in terms of your routines? What you do every day that brings you back to yourself? So that you can regulate yourself, what is your, from the moment you wake up in the morning? Are there any routines that you try and execute every day?

• 1:39:07Speaker 02

  Number one is, or one of the first things is really try as often as you can to remind yourself and put yourself in that proper state of what you think you are.

• 1:39:23Speaker 02

  I wake up and try to not already have any type of thought from yesterday in my mind. I try to wake up empty, let's call it like this. And meaning also try to at all moments immerse myself as much as I can in the present moment. That's what it is, live in the here and now. How you do this? To live in the here and now, stop jumping into the past and stop jumping into the future. Then you live in the here and now, but you must practise it.

• 1:40:00Speaker 02

  And literally meaning how you do it, make yourself empty. Because the only thing that fills your mind with past and future is your thoughts.

• 1:40:11Speaker 02

  The mind.

• 1:40:13Steven Bartlett?

  So if I watched you for the first hour when you woke up in the morning, what would I see on a typical day?

• 1:40:20Speaker 02

  I wake up and sit on the sofa and still like just sit.

• 1:40:28Speaker 02

  So just being awake and just breathe, literally. Just realising slowly scanning my own body from the inside, going through the body.

• 1:40:42Speaker 02

  So really making sure in a way that everything that's gonna come up during this day is being perceived very consciously.

• 1:40:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, by this. So it's like I slowly build up my energies, prepare. This is how I would call it. It doesn't look very special, looking from the outside. Unless I wake up and, I mean,

• 1:41:07Speaker 02

  the sun is asking for something, then of course I have my duties to do. But if I can really have my day after waking up, still the next hour is still I spend alone. This is what I prefer to do. And do you do exercise in the morning? Yes. What do you do? Push-ups, sit-ups and standing practice. What's standing practice? You know, partially it's also, some of them are like mentioned in the book. But literally, it is what it sounds like. I choose one position that I'm standing in and then I hold that position for fifteen minutes.

• 1:41:45Speaker 02

  Why?

• 1:41:47Speaker 02

  So let's take all the spiritual part out of this. Because there are some positions that are looking so strange.

• 1:41:58Speaker 02

  That at some point I also ask myself, how would somebody even invest his lifetime

• 1:42:05Speaker 02

  standing and putting yourself through such a position? Well, there must be a reason why in ancient times it is kept as a, as a secret practice to stay like this. And since I discovered it, I do have to say that, um,

• 1:42:26Speaker 02

  hmm, it's not this one at some point. The squatting monkey is called. This is a practice that builds up what we call energy.

• 1:42:38Speaker 02

  How do you build up energy? It is by giving your mind something where you need to have willpower to maintain it.

• 1:42:49Speaker 02

  Willpower and development of energy go hand in hand with each other.

• 1:42:57Speaker 02

  The will to live, the will to keep going, the will, the will. Strong will, iron will, energy is also very high. And so literally, some of these positions are so demanding on the body that in order to maintain this position, you have to have will. You need to create something about yourself where you are pushing yourself.

• 1:43:29Speaker 02

  And this is, when we have time, I show you the exercise.

• 1:43:35Speaker 02

  Yes, and this is why I do it.

• 1:43:38Steven Bartlett?

  So how important is that for everybody's life to do hard things, do you think? Because it's very easy not to do hard things in the comfort world we live in.

• 1:43:47Speaker 02

  When I mention it and then you directly look up in a way to me or any professionals who then do this type of training. Of course, it's beyond any normal person's abilities. But it's not about you need to learn and do the hard stuff like this. But one thing is for sure.

• 1:44:13Speaker 02

  This lifetime, living a life as a human, definitely

• 1:44:21Speaker 02

  is not easy.

• 1:44:24Speaker 02

  Let's put it like this. Living this lifetime is not easy. The more wishes you have, the more difficult it becomes. The more ambitious you are, the more you will have to face. So bottom line is. I do think that in the moment where you just on a regular basis, put yourself consciously and willingly in different situations and circumstances that actually represent a little bit the structures of life.

• 1:45:00Speaker 02

  There are moments in this lifetime where you are going to be super tense, super tense.

• 1:45:06Speaker 02

  And then it's good to know already how does it feel? And what is it that you can do? Well, to learn and release the tension. That's why releasing tension is also a big part of of the exercises. The one thing is learning to release tension. The other thing is like when you are too sloppy, when you're too slacky, how to increase your tension, how to increase the energy level again for you to get into back into structure again. So it's always this balance and ultimately,

• 1:45:42Speaker 02

  how does it help people to know the hard stuff? Well, because I do think that it is symbolizing this way of life. It is symbolizing the patterns of what you're going to go through in this lifetime.

• 1:45:59Steven Bartlett?

  And so you're almost training to do hard things because hard things are an inevitability of the life we live.

• 1:46:08Speaker 02

  In this training that I went through, for the moment, maybe take all the spiritual part out. Simply the Kung Fu training, the Shaolin Kung Fu training. There is a saying which is Shaolin Kung Fu literally means walking through the valley of pain.

• 1:46:28Speaker 02

  So what does it mean? When you are doing stretching, stretching, stretching, stretching, it's going to be painful. When you are doing strength training, it's going to be painful. When you do conditioning training, it's going to be painful. So the whole path on this martial art journey, it is just filled with working yourself up to the level of where it feels uncomfortable, getting some consistency into the practice until the point where that uncomfortable feeling just started disappearing. Why? Because somehow you broke that initial comfort zone. So but then it doesn't end.

• 1:47:14Speaker 02

  No, next level. Until you're building up first of all, yeah, whatever we're doing later on, I will show you some practices. It's not that I do not feel pain. I also feel pain. Maybe I feel it later.

• 1:47:34Speaker 02

  But the essential part is that my connection, my relation between the pain of the body towards what would it affect in the way of how I take my decisions? That is a different one.

• 1:47:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, I feel the pain. But at the moment, I feel the pain, but I see no necessity to still change something about my way right now. Why? Because I can take the pain.

• 1:48:01Speaker 02

  Whereas when you are not used to this pain, you feel it and then it tells you, let's say it's painful, the mind is okay, it's not good. And so you directly change something. And this is and this is just the difference. So it's not that I became numb. No, I just feel there is an additional layer that I can observe about myself. It is painful.

• 1:48:27Speaker 02

  But it's okay for right now.

• 1:48:29Steven Bartlett?

  And that's a habit you've learned, I guess, over time. That's a process you've learned, which is you still have the same stimulus, the same feeling. But you tell yourself, you've learned to tell yourself a different story about that feeling, or you've turned, you believe something differently about that feeling. Many people would feel the pain of, I don't know, starting a new career journey, starting a business, whatever might be painful. And they would tell themselves the story that that means they are not good enough, or they shouldn't do it, or that it's a threat, and they might stop. Whereas because you've cultivated this new relationship with pain, you're able to do these things and tell yourself a better story?

• 1:49:07Speaker 02

  I spent my lifetime.

• 1:49:10Speaker 02

  For some part, to really wanting to build up my body and build up the skills related to the field of martial arts. So I want to build this up. Other people want to build up their business. I do think there is something similar in the way of building up. When I build up my body, how do I really build up? How do I make my body grow? It only works if I find a continuous way of exposing my body to situations outside of the comfort zone of what I know. Otherwise, it wouldn't be called growth. If I every day just do something towards the body

• 1:49:54Speaker 02

  that the body already knows how to do, there's nothing growing. So the idea of understanding where is the comfort zone of my body, then on a regular basis, very little, must not be a big jump, but very little, extending this comfort zone until the body naturally takes it as a habit in raising the bar of where your comfort zone actually is. Always a little bit, always a little bit, always a little bit. But this only is possible, I think, by, well, what's called going over your limits. But now comes the thing. You can go over the limits by really exaggerating and risking to be injured,

• 1:50:39Speaker 02

  or you make the idea of going, going over the limit consciously, aware, carefully, still going over the limit, but in a, in a still controlled way, let's say. You know it's the limit now, but at the same time, at some point, you also realize our bodies, our mind is so intelligent. Before the, when we are stretching, at some point, you feel like everything's gonna rip apart. But I know, and this is why if we would stretch, even though you say, ah, it hurts, I know we can still go more. You think, ah, but I just know.

• 1:51:21Speaker 02

  Because your body is so intelligent that before something serious really happens, he tells you way before that, that be careful. And this figuring out where, where is really this limit? This is that, this is what makes the difference. There is a limit, yes, but, but this limit still has a, has like a range of where we can still move inside. Yes. And I do think that this as a general line applies to everything if you want to grow. And step by step, by doing so,

• 1:52:00Speaker 02

  the comfort zone extends. So how is something new supposed to enter into your life? Well, there's only one way, exactly the way that many people are also afraid of right now.

• 1:52:17Speaker 02

  Go into the unknown. But that's exactly what it is. If this table is our comfort zone and you just stay on here, you will never know how beautiful London streets are if you just stay here. You need to go into the unknown.

• 1:52:34Speaker 02

  You need to slowly walk your, find your way out here. But that means that

• 1:52:43Speaker 02

  going into the uncertainty is nothing bad.

• 1:52:49Speaker 02

  For me, I'm really, really happy uncertainty is existing in this world. Cause I cannot imagine how boring it would be if I would already know with certainty where I'm going to be in 20 years.

• 1:53:05Steven Bartlett?

  Is there something practical one can do to get better at stepping outside of their comfort zone? Cause in our everyday lives, stepping outside of our comfort zone might just mean putting our hand up in a meeting or doing a public talk or starting an Instagram page for our cupcakes or it could be small things, it could be learning how to run. What's the first sort of small step one should take to develop that habit of being okay in the uncertainty of our growth zone?

• 1:53:34Speaker 02

  Some people say.

• 1:53:38Speaker 02

  Just start reading. I do think that people who do like reading, this is something. Meaning always look for something new to learn. Always realize that the things able to still be discovered is way bigger than what you think you know. And that means exactly the way of how you also described it now. Exactly, the last twenty times you stayed quiet, the next time you raise your hand.

• 1:54:10Speaker 02

  Whatever it is, just don't stay in the old patterns. Break the cycle.

• 1:54:18Speaker 02

  This is where I would say a great potential lies in.

• 1:54:24Steven Bartlett?

  The thing that holds us back is fear.

• 1:54:27Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:54:29Steven Bartlett?

  How do we overcome that fear?

• 1:54:32Speaker 02

  So am I fearless? No.

• 1:54:36Speaker 02

  Do I fear a lot of things? No.

• 1:54:45Speaker 02

  I do think there's only one thing that ultimately makes you break free from fear.

• 1:54:53Speaker 02

  Which is

• 1:54:57Speaker 02

  to find a way

• 1:55:01Speaker 02

  and wake up from that dream.

• 1:55:06Speaker 02

  You don't take things too seriously in this lifetime.

• 1:55:13Speaker 02

  To just change, let's put it this, change your perspective.

• 1:55:20Speaker 02

  Rationalize things if you like.

• 1:55:24Speaker 02

  It's similar, fear and worry, yes?

• 1:55:30Speaker 02

  At least when I look at my worries I had

• 1:55:37Speaker 02

  in the last month, well, for sure eighty percent, ninety percent of all the worries just didn't happen in the first place. Ten percent might somehow came true, but then again I asked myself, "Good." So the ten percent that came true, even though I had the worries, what could I do about it? Coming to the conclusion, nothing.

• 1:56:00Speaker 02

  Nothing.

• 1:56:03Speaker 02

  And then something just really started to to shift inside of me where I literally let go of something.

• 1:56:15Speaker 02

  Let go of this idea

• 1:56:19Speaker 02

  that that everything is like

• 1:56:23Speaker 02

  it's like one directional, that everything that you're gonna encounter in this lifetime is gonna be beautiful. Everything in this lifetime is gonna be peaceful. Everybody you're gonna meet along your journey is gonna be well-hearted towards you. No, it's not.

• 1:56:42Speaker 02

  Because in the moment where you have well-hearted people, you have ill-willed people. And in the moment where there is success, where you want to be part of the success story, you're gonna be part of the failing story. And in the moment where you want to be part of the light story, you're gonna be part of the dark story. This is how it is.

• 1:57:07Speaker 02

  This is the world of what we call it's the world of yin and yang. This is the world of birth and death,

• 1:57:16Speaker 02

  of aging

• 1:57:19Speaker 02

  and sickness.

• 1:57:22Speaker 02

  And this is why in the in the ancient traditions, more and more, even nowadays, why, why in the first place there is this whole idea about liberating yourself, breaking free and and and all of these things.

• 1:57:43Steven Bartlett?

  For anybody that likes matcha, for anybody that likes lattes, one of my companies has just launched canned matcha lattes. And I was speaking with the founder, Marissa, and she said that creating this product has been no easy feat. They tried launching in 2021, but as is often the case in business, the development process turned out to be extremely complex. So they've spent the last four years testing and refining every single detail to create this, which is a Perfect Ted Matcha Vanilla Latte and a Perfect Ted Matcha Strawberry Latte. So what we have here in these cans is barista quality matcha, straight from the can, and it tastes like it's just been made from your favorite cafe, naturally sweet and naturally creamy in a can. And the reason why I've invested in this company and I drink matcha

• 1:58:27Steven Bartlett?

  is because matcha as an energy source gives me lasting energy without the big crashes that I get from other products. You can grab their ready to drink canned matcha lattes at Waitrose, Tesco's, Holland and Barrett, and here's a little incentive for you. If you go to perfectted.com and use code DARI40, you'll get 40% off your first order. Please don't tell anybody, keep that to yourself. That's code DARI40, you'll get 40% off on perfectted.com. So go use that before they change it. This one change has transformed how my team and I move, train and think about our bodies. When Dr. Daniel Lieberman came on The Diary of a CEO, he explained how modern shoes with their cushioning and support are making our feet weaker and less capable of doing what nature intended them to do.

• 1:59:09Steven Bartlett?

  We've lost the natural strength and mobility in our feet, and this is leading to issues like back pain and knee pain. I'd already purchased a pair of Vivo Barefoot shoes, so I showed them to Daniel Lieberman, and he told me that they were exactly the type of shoe that would help me restore natural foot movement and rebuild my strength. But I think it was plantar fasciitis that I had, where suddenly my feet started hurting all the time. And after that, I decided to start strengthening my own foot by using the Vivo Barefoot. And research from Liverpool University has backed this up. They've shown that wearing Vivo Barefoot shoes for six months can increase foot strength by up to 60%. Visit vivobarefoot.com/DOAC and use code DARI20 from my sponsor for 20% off. A strong body starts with strong feet.

• 1:59:54Steven Bartlett?

  We were talking about the five hindrances and the first of those was the sensual desires, which we talked about, and the second was ill will. The third is dullness, lack of motivation to move forward in life. And the fourth is restlessness, unable to focus on the present moment. And the fifth is skeptical doubt, indecisiveness and not trusting yourself. And to overcome the five hindrances, you recommend the four step rain method. What is the four step rain method?

• 2:00:21Speaker 02

  Yes, I do think it's called rain method that has also been taught to me because it's easy to remember. What is it that you're supposed to do? Like I said, in this context of putting it simple, you have set yourself a goal. There are five mental states that could make it difficult for you to reach that goal. Those five mental states are these five hindrances, yes?

• 2:00:45Steven Bartlett?

  Could you read those out for me again?

• 2:00:47Speaker 02

  So sensory desire, sensual desire, here, ill will, dullness, slostapa or restlessness, and then ultimately indecisiveness or self doubt. Okay. Now,

• 2:01:05Speaker 02

  what does the rain method tell you? Number one, it tells you with the R, recognize, recognize or realize. So along your journey, every day, just sitting somewhere contemplating,

• 2:01:19Speaker 02

  learn to realize in which mental state are you actually finding yourself right now? This is just the recognition, the realization of where you are.

• 2:01:31Speaker 02

  The A stands for acknowledge or acceptance. So even, you know, the second one was called ill will, or actually it's called aversion to denying something, pushing something away from you. Very important right now, same here. You recognize something inside of you, about you. Of course, second one, accepting it, acknowledging it is important.

• 2:01:59Speaker 02

  Yes. I, meaning now investigation, investigation meaning, okay, I see, I am.

• 2:02:10Speaker 02

  I see I'm dull. I see I'm restless.

• 2:02:17Speaker 02

  Okay, I accept that I have this feeling right now. Now, investigation, meaning, okay. What is it like? How did I get into this state? Have I been there this morning already in that state of being? No, this morning I really felt good. So what happened now since the morning until now? That put me in this state of restlessness. To who did I talk to? Was it a message that I received? What is it ultimately that led to this feeling of restlessness? So really investigating, like a detector, investigating. So and ultimately, then the N, difficult one.

• 2:02:59Speaker 02

  But it is standing for non-identification.

• 2:03:06Speaker 02

  So a non-identification meaning.

• 2:03:11Speaker 02

  I mentioned it before. Even if you just use it as a picture right now, as a concept, if you want. But try not to identify your being too much with your body and too much with the mind. And if you don't identify with the body and not identify yourself too much with the mind, also you do not identify yourself too much with all the things that you investigated, that you felt like were nourishing your restlessness.

• 2:03:46Steven Bartlett?

  If you had one last message to share.

• 2:03:51Steven Bartlett?

  And that message was.

• 2:03:54Steven Bartlett?

  A message you had to share for your son. Because one day, the inevitability of life means that you do have to have one last conversation. And we don't always get to choose what that one last conversation is. But if you do get to choose that last conversation with your three-month-year-old son. Once he's able to process it a little bit better, so he was 18 years old. What would that message be?

• 2:04:16Speaker 02

  Concepts are concepts, theories are theories. Be careful, be aware of what you are keeping or what are you nourishing in the mind. Never restrict yourself to any concept, never restrict yourself to any identity, never restrict yourself to any type of role.

• 2:04:44Speaker 02

  What you create, you create. And you can create quite a lot of things.

• 2:04:55Speaker 02

  Yeah. Something along these lines, probably.

• 2:05:01Steven Bartlett?

  I read that when you lost your father, that had quite a profound impact on your life and your, I guess, your way of understanding the world. Your father passed away from cancer when you were roughly 28 years old. It was roughly around 2012.

• 2:05:22Steven Bartlett?

  And this, I read, gave you a deeper sense of purpose.

• 2:05:28Steven Bartlett?

  How, how did that impact you as a man?

• 2:05:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, let's see, just imagine like,

• 2:05:37Speaker 02

  when I talked before about enduring things, going through my childhood and always receiving, let's say, to never be enough. But still, I mean, still I had this internal fire going to still always give my best, but for the sake of my parents. And so, yeah, from the age of four, elementary school, give your best. High school, give your best. Studying, give your best. Study again, okay? I do again. So all the time, not because I necessarily wanted all of this, it's because for the sake of my parents. For the sake of, they are the ones who allowed me in the first place to in a way be alive. Yeah, also thanks to them.

• 2:06:23Speaker 02

  So this was in a way, um, my expression of what they say, as long as they are alive, I listen to them. So, and then, you know, walking all the way up to this, this academic education, then finally graduating, like after 20 years.

• 2:06:44Speaker 02

  Yeah. And then I just returned from the graduation back to, back to Kaiserslautern, the city where I lived. And that was the last year I spent with my father, yeah. So, literally meaning,

• 2:07:01Speaker 02

  spending so many years in this academic education for my father,

• 2:07:07Speaker 02

  and now he's not even there to witness that it has been done for him. Now, this was like a point where I thought like...

• 2:07:22Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah, this was the one area, yeah, that, that stuck somehow a little bit hard. And then the next things, you know, I call it maybe small, but it's not so small apparently, because I grew up in, let's say, this Asian tradition, with, let's say, different type of beliefs or rituals or ceremonies that we do. One of these things was that when my father was still lying in hospital, when it was clear that it's just gonna take a few days until he would pass away,

• 2:07:59Speaker 02

  he, for example, also said, you know, he only said it to me because, you know, I would be the only one who is able to do it. "Don't cry for me."

• 2:08:22Speaker 02

  Because he couldn't say it to my mother, she cannot handle it.

• 2:08:27Speaker 02

  Couldn't say it to my brother.

• 2:08:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, but because I trust in the, I trust in the...

• 2:08:39Speaker 02

  In the tradition, the reason why not to cry when my father passed away is because we do think the body is there, the body passes away, the spirit sets itself free. And when the spirit simply realizes that all the sons are there, the families there crying, the spirit in a way is still bound to this realm, bound to the earth's realm, let's say. And in order to be able to help my father actually to get on a...

• 2:09:10Speaker 02

  to move on quicker, to move on quicker. That was the reason why it is sometimes so important to don't show any grief in the moment when a beloved one like passes away.

• 2:09:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, but all of these things, yeah.

• 2:09:30Speaker 02

  You know, like

• 2:09:32Speaker 02

  spending so many years for my father, then he's not there to realize it, then not being able to cry and then being in all this very, very hard field and always like

• 2:09:47Speaker 02

  overachieving and no problem working sixteen hours a day. Well, these are all the things that made it possible to be where I am right now. But at the same time, I just do feel like, especially in the moment now, when my son started to come and all of these things,

• 2:10:09Speaker 02

  I just felt like there's a lot blocked there.

• 2:10:15Speaker 02

  Or there's a lot that still needs to be released for the sake of my son.

• 2:10:23Speaker 02

  And, yeah.

• 2:10:34Steven Bartlett?

  What is it you needed and when did you need it?

• 2:10:36Speaker 02

  I would call it recognition. Being recognized by my father at some point.

• 2:10:43Speaker 02

  To finally somehow say, "You did well," is enough.

• 2:10:48Speaker 02

  But it didn't come until today.

• 2:10:51Speaker 02

  So I still keep going.

• 2:10:57Speaker 02

  I never heard it from my father.

• 2:11:00Speaker 02

  From my mother, I also don't hear it.

• 2:11:04Speaker 02

  Well, maybe in a different way, but I do think it is the father's recognition

• 2:11:14Speaker 02

  that you probably aim for. So these are absolutely things that do shape my character for sure.

• 2:11:23Steven Bartlett?

  Many people will be able to relate in their own ways. And maybe their parents have now passed on or are no longer with them. So I'm wondering if there is a way to

• 2:11:34Steven Bartlett?

  hear it from yourself.

• 2:11:36Speaker 02

  Yes, there is.

• 2:11:39Speaker 02

  There is.

• 2:11:41Speaker 02

  And again, this leads to the fact of sometimes it's very, very helpful to really shut the world, shut the world out of you and spend time with yourself.

• 2:11:53Speaker 02

  And actually create what you think you were missing there. Create it because you're the one who creates it. That's exactly what I do think. That when we were speaking about it right now, of course, we could say that what is it that I was looking for from my father? Fact is, I'm not going to hear it from him anymore. So I need to hear it, of course, by myself.

• 2:12:18Speaker 02

  And this is where it comes to all these types of practices and methods that many specialists nowadays also like emphasizing, regardless of how you call them, yeah?

• 2:12:29Steven Bartlett?

  And what are those sentences in particular? That if I if I was your father,

• 2:12:37Steven Bartlett?

  you would want me to say to you right now?

• 2:12:42Speaker 02

  Well, something like,

• 2:12:45Speaker 02

  "You did well, you did enough.

• 2:12:50Speaker 02

  I see what you are doing.

• 2:12:53Speaker 02

  But now, take your energy back."

• 2:12:58Speaker 02

  And give it to your son. Give him everything that you feel you didn't receive from me.

• 2:13:10Steven Bartlett?

  And if you heard those words from him, how do you think you would change?

• 2:13:15Speaker 02

  I do think there will be change.

• 2:13:19Speaker 02

  And I do think there is already change. Now, and this is maybe like the part where like specialists nowadays would say, it's not necessarily an area of the conscious mind. I do think that these are talks right now, more dealing with subconsciously, is stored inside our, our, let's say in our mind. I think this is where it plays a role. Especially when it's about patterns that come up. It's not consciously, when you're conscious enough, you can regulate already a lot. It's the subconscious things that you are not aware of, that are still a part of your life. And if you wouldn't have called, uh, asked about my father,

• 2:14:03Speaker 02

  I, I wouldn't even think about him for one month, it's all another problem. Yeah, but I do still think that these are like very, very deep layers that just translate a lot unconsciously into the way of, of doing things, in way of how I see things also. And this is where I feel like it probably would help.

• 2:14:25Steven Bartlett?

  Have you grieved his passing?

• 2:14:28Speaker 02

  Yes, yes.

• 2:14:33Speaker 02

  I do think at, at some extent, when the, when the forty-nine days, that's the period of where it's normally said, don't grieve at that time, forty-nine days. Afterwards, I did, yes. Hmm.

• 2:14:50Speaker 02

  But probably there's still

• 2:14:53Speaker 02

  a lot more to release.

• 2:14:59Steven Bartlett?

  You've written this wonderful book, which describes the way to self mastery. And it's a really transformative book that I highly recommend everybody checks out. I'm going to link it below. When we talk about self mastery, what is it you mean? What is it to master oneself?

• 2:15:19Speaker 02

  So, growing up, like I said, in this field of martial arts, I met a lot of masters. I met a lot of grandmasters. I always went looking for other instructors, looking for somebody outside of myself to be a mentor, to be a guide for me. But at some point, always realizing

• 2:15:46Speaker 02

  that everybody, no matter who it was, they possessed some type of skill that I wanted to learn from them. But there was one thing that, in a way, none of them, in a way, could help me with. And that was, how do I run my own life? I can learn skills from you. I can learn skills from here. I can improve in this area, in this area. But putting all these skills, putting all this knowledge, putting all the advice, putting it into a structure, into a frame, and then to run my own life with it, there's only one person who can do this:

• 2:16:30Speaker 02

  yourself. So, and this is where I meant that don't rely on a master for him to run your life. Don't rely on a mentor, a guide, whatever, to run your life. This whole journey is about you learn and acquire the skills and acquire the knowledge and acquire whatever you think is necessary

• 2:16:57Speaker 02

  to bring out the best version, let's call it like this, the best version, the best refined potential about yourself, about what you believe you are capable of bringing out about yourself. Meaning, the master is already sitting inside of each individual. It's just that we don't nourish that master inside of us enough.

• 2:17:27Steven Bartlett?

  And who in particular, at this moment in time, do you believe would benefit most from the message inside the covers of this book?

• 2:17:36Speaker 02

  The more you feel like that your

• 2:17:43Speaker 02

  that your well-being about yourself is being dependent on any third parties,

• 2:17:53Speaker 02

  anything outsourced. So if the government, you feel like, if any decision from the government affects you, read the book. If like your colleagues at work affect you by what they say and what they think, that's also something. Every time when you have the feeling your well-being is dependent on something that you feel you have no influence in. Because this is exactly, this is the antidote. This book is literally telling you,

• 2:18:28Speaker 02

  don't outsource your well-being to anything that you cannot

• 2:18:35Speaker 02

  influence or control.

• 2:18:38Speaker 02

  Which literally means place the emphasis and the foundation of your well-being only on things that you have influence on. And which one is that?

• 2:18:53Speaker 02

  Your body and your mind.

• 2:18:57Steven Bartlett?

  Of all the things we've discussed today, is there anything, anything at all, that you think is the most important thing that we missed? For the, for the person that sat there at home, and I'll give you a persona of the person, they are, they're feeling a little bit lost in their life, they're feeling like they could do more, they're maybe lacking in purpose and meaning in their life a little bit, and they're struggling in various areas with their relationships, maybe a little bit with work, and they're feeling the, the normal pressures of life that we all, we all feel. Is there anything for that person that's listening now and that's gotten this far in the conversation that you might say in their ear right now?

• 2:19:37Speaker 02

  It's sometimes really nice to see the... Why, yeah, to... To see the full picture. The full picture of me is, I didn't start like being on the cover of the book. I didn't start like having all the abilities and skills that I have nowadays. I didn't start with all the social media channels as they are right now. I started actually in the poorest area of the city in Kaiserslautern that until today is known to be like the area where people do not like to go. This is where I come out from.

• 2:20:13Speaker 02

  So, was my life always easy? Well, I don't think so.

• 2:20:19Speaker 02

  But there are just a few fundamental things that, meanwhile, after like forty years, meeting people, talking with people, looking into the world, being able to actually see some type of structures in the world, I do believe that what you might call successful people or people that somehow made it in whatever way you think is made it, I do think they have something in common. There is something in common amongst them. Okay? So, and one thing that I would definitely say is,

• 2:21:00Speaker 02

  to really be able to endure is one area.

• 2:21:05Speaker 02

  Really having that persistence, even though, okay, today is not working, everything goes wrong, yeah, but like not like cutting it off like suddenly. This type of persistence and consistency, like just knowing and trusting, "Okay, let's do it again."

• 2:21:25Speaker 02

  So, literally, trial and error. Hard times, good times. To just understand that this life is like this.

• 2:21:36Steven Bartlett?

  Up and down.

• 2:21:37Speaker 02

  There is the up and down. The one, the success doesn't come without the failure. The brightness right now that is being seen from people, yeah, but there's another side that, that built the foundation for people nowadays to shine. And just to understand, a lot of things is possible, but it's never one directional.

• 2:22:02Speaker 02

  Yeah. And now to put things really, literally into practice, one of the easiest things. How do I know? What should be the next? What should I do tomorrow? What should I do tomorrow? Okay.

• 2:22:18Speaker 02

  Look at yourself and ask yourself, what is the most disturbing, whatever it is, from the last week in your life? What is disturbing you about your life the most from the last week?

• 2:22:34Speaker 02

  You can even extend it to, what is it? Which emotional state is it that followed you primarily in the last one month?

• 2:22:45Speaker 02

  And then, maybe investigating again, okay, what is it that brings up that emotion, that state inside of you? What is? Is it somebody who triggers it? Is it something that triggers it? To really boil it down to the point that you actually see,

• 2:23:04Speaker 02

  this is what blocks me right now in my life. This is literally what blocks me in my life. I wanna move into the future, but this here, it follows me, it blocks me, it takes my energy. It's this one. I can literally see it. No, that is the one. Now, invest all of the energy to figure out the solution for this one.

• 2:23:27Speaker 02

  Because if you took care of this already the last half year, the chances are very, very high you're gonna have it the next half year, which means you're gonna have it already for one year. And if you do nothing about it, it's gonna be two years. And it's gonna be three years. And in three years, you still sit there and complain that you were not able to move on. Yes. Because it's the same pattern and it is the same hindrance still in the life. And this is, for example, how I know what is my next area of, um,

• 2:24:05Speaker 02

  of development? The one that, let's say, shakes me the most at the moment? If I think about, literally, I think about, is it something in the business area that shakes me? No. Is it something in the family area that shakes me? No. Is it something in the, in the relationship area that shakes? And like this, you find out, okay, that is the next one. Let's tackle it. And so, and we will always find something that in a way like we would say we could optimize.

• 2:24:37Speaker 02

  And I do believe that in the moment where you say, no, I have arrived.

• 2:24:44Speaker 02

  I think then there's really nothing to be done.

• 2:24:48Speaker 02

  Then just to be free.

• 2:24:52Steven Bartlett?

  We have a closing tradition on this podcast where the last guest leaves a question for the next guest, not knowing who they're going to be leaving the question for. And the question that has been left for you is,

• 2:25:07Steven Bartlett?

  what is your greatest regret?

• 2:25:21Speaker 02

  I would say that forty years long,

• 2:25:31Speaker 02

  whatever I said and whatever decision I took in the last forty years, I could always stand behind it.

• 2:25:40Speaker 02

  Yeah. I pushed decisions through and I gave, I gave comments to, to do it the way that I wanted because behind it, my mind was always supporting all of this.

• 2:25:58Speaker 02

  Just in the recent months, I had to take a decision.

• 2:26:02Speaker 02

  I would have wished to have a little bit more time to make it, to make the transition more pleasant, but I couldn't. I had no choice. And so despite of not feeling that it is the right way to do it, I still had to do it. And this is what I regret.

• 2:26:18Steven Bartlett?

  It's like firing someone, letting someone go.

• 2:26:20Speaker 02

  Kind of like this, yes.

• 2:26:24Steven Bartlett?

  Thank you. Thank you so much for the message you're putting out into the world because it's a increasingly necessary message because we're, I think we're all searching for answers and a variety of different reasons. And your message, as I read it throughout the book, the striking thing about it is it's a simple one, but that doesn't mean it's an easy one. But it's a very, very necessary one. And for anyone that does relate to the things we've described today and the situations we've described that people are feeling at the moment, I'd highly recommend you give this book a try because it is a completely different message. So thank you for writing such an incredible book and thank you for the wisdom that you've put out into the world. I highly recommend everybody goes and checks out your YouTube channel because there's much more content there and you're a real star on YouTube. Your TED Talk

• 2:27:09Steven Bartlett?

  is a smash hit sensation that has changed millions of people's lives as well. So thank you again for your time today. It's been a huge honour.

• 2:27:16Speaker 02

  Thank you, Stephen, for the invitation. Appreciate it, having this conversation.

• 2:27:20Steven Bartlett?

  Thank you so much.

• 2:27:23Steven Bartlett?

  I'm going to let you into a little bit of a secret. You're probably going to think me and my team are a little bit weird, but I can still remember to this day when Jemima from my team posted on Slack that she changed the scent in this studio. And right after she posted it, the entire office clapped in our Slack channel. And this might sound crazy, but at the Diary of a CEO, this is the type of 1% improvement we make on our show. And that is why the show is the way it is. By understanding the power of compounding 1%, you can absolutely change your outcomes in your life. It isn't about drastic transformations or quick wins. It's about the small, consistent actions that have a lasting change in your outcomes. So two years ago, we started the process of creating this beautiful diary. And it's truly beautiful. Inside, there's

• 2:28:04Steven Bartlett?

  lots of pictures, lots of inspiration and motivation as well, some interactive elements. And the purpose of this diary is to help you identify, stay focused on, develop consistency with the 1% that will ultimately change your life. So if you want one for yourself or for a friend or for a colleague or for your team, then head to the diary.com right now. I'll link it below. I find it incredibly fascinating that when we look at the back end of Spotify and Apple and our audio channels, the majority of people that watch this podcast haven't yet hit the follow button or the subscribe button, wherever you're listening to this. I would like to make a deal with you. If you could do me a huge favour and hit that subscribe button, I will work tirelessly from now until forever to make the show better

• 2:28:46Steven Bartlett?

  and better and better and better. I can't tell you how much it helps when you hit that subscribe button. The show gets bigger, which means we can expand the production, bring in all the guests you want to see and continue to do in this thing we love. If you could do me that small favour and hit the follow button, wherever you're listening to this, that would mean the world to me. That is the only favour I will ever ask you. Thank you so much for your time.