How to Train Your Brain to Manifest and Get What You Want In Life

👇 SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL - so this show can reach more people 👇 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIprGZAdzn3ZqgLmDuibYcw?sub_confirmation=1 Click the Link Below to Subscribe to my email list to MAXOUT your life (all value, no fluff) https://konect.to/edmylett How to Train Your Mind to Create the Life You Want In this mashup episode, I’m bringing you three unforgettable conversations that will completely change the way you think about your thoughts, your goals, and your future. If you’ve ever felt like you’re working hard but not getting where you want to go, the missing link isn’t more hustle—it’s mastering the way you think. This episode is all about taking control of your mind so you can take control of your life. I sat down with Eric Thomas, Jenn Gottlieb, and Dr. James Doty—three extraordinary voices who have each mastered the art of aligning thoughts, actions, and beliefs to create extraordinary results. Eric Thomas, the “Hip Hop Preacher,” breaks down how to flip the switch from wishing for your dreams to working for them with unshakable discipline and clarity. Jenn Gottlieb shares her powerful strategies for overcoming self-doubt, showing up authentically, and creating opportunities through connection and confidence. And Dr. James Doty, a neurosurgeon and leading voice in compassion science, reveals the surprising neuroscience behind manifestation—and why gratitude and service are essential to creating real, lasting change. You’ll hear us unpack one of the greatest truths in life: you don’t get what you want—you get what you believe you deserve, what you expect, and what you’re willing to work for. This isn’t about “positive thinking” in the shallow sense. It’s about rewiring your brain to operate at a higher level so you can recognize opportunities, act on them, and keep moving forward even when fear shows up. If you’ve been waiting for the perfect moment to start going after the life you’ve imagined—this is it. The tools are here. The science is here. The stories are here. Now it’s on you to apply them and become the person who makes your dreams inevitable. Key Takeaways: - Eric Thomas on turning desire into disciplined daily action - Jenn Gottlieb’s method for overcoming self-doubt and building magnetic confidence - Dr. James Doty on the neuroscience of manifestation and why compassion amplifies results - How your brain filters opportunities based on what you expect to find - Why consistent gratitude changes your physiology and your focus - The difference between wishing for success and wiring yourself for it - How to recognize and dismantle the mental barriers holding you back - Practical steps to train your brain for the life you truly want This is more than a conversation—it’s a blueprint for changing your life from the inside out. Thank you for watching this video—Please Share it and get the word out! 👇 SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL👇 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIprGZAdzn3ZqgLmDuibYcw?sub_confirmation=1 ▶︎ Visit My WEBSITE | https://www. EdMylett.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ed Mylett?

  I hear so many small business owners say the exact same thing. They just never have enough time in the day. Well, I measure time differently. I've compressed, condensed, heck, I've bent time. My first day is 6:00 a.m. to noon. My second day starts at noon and goes till 6:00 p.m. And my third day, 6:00 p.m. to midnight. I now get 21 days a week. Stack that up over a month, over a year, over five years, and my life's completely different than it would have been otherwise. And if you want to win as an entrepreneur, you have to compress your time too. And you definitely can't afford to waste it. Waiting weeks on a big bank for capital? Your best bet's to work with my friends at Cardiff. They know how to compress time for entrepreneurs. They get your business approved in minutes and funded the very same day. They're America's favorite small business lender, and for good reason.

• 0:45Ed Mylett?

  Over 20 years in business, over 12 billion deployed to small business across America. Stop letting bank delays slow down your momentum. Head to cardiff.co/ed. That's cardiff.co/ed. Cardiff.co. Real growth, fast funding. Cardiff, borrow better.

• 1:06Eric Thomas?

  This is the Ed Mylett Show.

• 1:10Ed Mylett?

  Hey, everyone. Welcome to my weekend special. I hope you enjoy the show. Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Dr. James Doty, thank you for coming here today, Dr. Doty, and welcome to the show. I'd like if you would, just for a second, just because I think it's so practical and real, and it's in the book. And by the way, you guys, this book is so thick with so many different things in it. We could do a four-hour podcast, and you should still go get the book, because the few things that we'll be able to cover on today's show, don't do the book justice. But I learned a lot, and I actually wrote down the process that Ruth took you through for my own benefit. And so would you mind at least kind of going over some of that process for everybody? Because candidly, for me, I sat in this room yesterday,

• 1:53Ed Mylett?

  and I wrote out that process for myself to use to calm myself down even at this age. So would you share some of that, please?

• 2:01Speaker 02

  Are you talking about taming the heart or opening the heart and taming the mind and relaxing the body?

• 2:08Ed Mylett?

  Yes, particularly relaxing the body part is what resonated with me.

• 2:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, people who grow up in these challenging environments, again, it's like you're a goldfish in a fishbowl, but the water's dirty. And if that's all you've lived in, you have no idea that the way you're feeling or acting or how you're responding to the world actually is not beneficial for you. And like so many veterans who've been in the war zone, they not only have trauma from being in the war zone, but they have post-traumatic stress disorder. And so, one of the things you ultimately have to do is you have to emotionally regulate. And this is because in these types of situations, your sympathetic nervous system, your flight,

• 2:55Speaker 02

  fight, or freeze response is chronically activated. And you don't appreciate it, but all of your muscles are tight, you're always looking around. So, the first thing she taught me was a traditional mindfulness practice of relaxing the body. And literally, we went from the tip of the toes to the top of the head. Now, I have to tell you, as a 12-year-old, I had no self-awareness, and you know, I was doing this, I showed up, but I'm sitting there going, wow, and what is really going on here? And frankly, I was going, this is sort of bull****. But, but I did it, and what I found was that I did relax, and I was much more calm. And I wasn't like, you know, constantly having my muscles tight.

• 3:39Speaker 02

  And then she taught me a technique I call taming the mind in that book. And this was the ability to focus, in this case, on a candle, but you can do it with the mantra, or you can do it with simply an object.

• 3:52Speaker 02

  But what it does is, it helps you not respond to the endless negative chatter that goes on in your head. And it also, you learn that there is chatter, and this is what I was talking about earlier, which is this negative self-talk. And unlike traditional mindfulness as is practiced today, what she did there was, though, to give yourself positive affirmations, which changes that dialogue.

• 4:22Speaker 02

  Decreases the sound of it. One of the way mindfulness works is you don't respond to these negative events going on past your head. In this case, though, you respond to them by reversing the statements to one of positivity. And then, once she did that, she taught me a technique of opening the heart. And what I mean by that is, I didn't realize how much I was suffering. And oftentimes, when people suffer, you have this negative dialogue going on, and you begin to believe it. And the body, or the mind, if you will, doesn't know the difference between truth or non-truth. And what I say, or what I mean by that is, if you sit there and say, "It is not possible, I cannot,"

• 5:07Speaker 02

  that in turn, it turns into truth. Because if you say it's not possible, then there's no way it's gonna happen. But conversely, if you develop a mindset of infinite possibilities for yourself, and understand that you are the determinant, because this negative dialogue is fundamentally as if you're laying down a brick each time, and you're creating a prison for yourself. And as those walls get higher, it gets darker. And the thing, though, is that you have the key to let yourself out of the prison. And once you realize that, that changes everything. And very much related to this book we're talking about today, Mind Magic,

• 5:52Speaker 02

  it's understanding how powerful you really are. And so many people give their self-agency away by listening to other people. And as a species, we have what we call negativity bias. Our negative things have a tendency to stick to us. So, once she allowed me to be, if you will, self-compassionate, and accept myself with all of my imperfections, and understanding that that is okay, it also made me realize that everyone is suffering. And that...

• 6:30Speaker 02

  I oftentimes, like so many of us, we make a projection of how we think people are responding to us, but oftentimes, and again, it relates to this book, we don't appreciate that a lot of people's actions at an unconscious level relate to their background growing up that they carry baggage with, and that baggage determines every interaction, it determines oftentimes the job or profession they take, it determines the relationships they have. And so, once she made me recognize that others are suffering, it also gave me another gift, which was, I used to have a lot of anger and hostility towards my parents, not because they didn't love me, but because they were not there for me. And once I recognized this,

• 7:15Speaker 02

  I understood that they did not have the tools to help themselves. So, it made me be much more thoughtful of kind. And then what happened is, I realized that once I, one, stopped beating myself up, and two, carrying this hostility or negativity about me, it changed how people interacted with me. And once that happens, I realized that actually, if you create that correct type of energy, or what you're putting out there, actually, people do want to help you. And at the end of the day, that changed everything. And ultimately, which is actually the basis of this book, is she taught me a manifestation or a visualization

• 7:56Speaker 02

  technique. And in the first book, I, you know, gave some fundamental principles, but I didn't go into all the detail. And I realized, after a lot of emails and letters from people, that that was a key thing that people wanted to understand. But they wanted to understand it not from, as you said, the woo-woo pseudoscience part of it, they wanted to understand the fundamental neuroscience of it, and how you can manifest maximally, if you will, or have the greatest potential to manifest your goals, or dreams, or your intentions. But that has

• 8:37Speaker 02

  to do with actually not the woo-woo side, or the law of attraction, or thinking the universe is going to somehow intervene if you have the right mindset. It comes down to, one, claiming your self-agency, or the power you have, but also...

• 8:55Speaker 02

  Uh, uh, doing fundamental practices that will actually increase the likelihood because you have to have what we call these cognitive brain networks to function at their best. And there are certain ways to do that. But the most important part is you have to get out of the stress mode into the rest and digest mode, or the engagement of your parasympathetic nervous system.

• 9:22Ed Mylett?

  One thing that Dr. Doty points out in the book that you should all know, that I love that he says early on in the book is that the universe doesn't care one way or the other. You're already great at manifesting. You're already doing this. Just typically, you're manifesting a lot of the things you don't want, that you're worried about, that you're feared, fearing, you're acting out of trauma already. You, you have some of these skill sets because these brain centers already exist for you. And some of you doing a little bit of digging, we'll talk about HRV a little bit later, but going from the sympathetic to the parasympathetic state has everything to do with your ability to manifest. Just from a science standpoint, for the people that want like, you know, the, the meat. In the book, you talk about the fact that manifesting primarily takes place in of four large circuits in the brain.

• 10:06Ed Mylett?

  So you, I, I can go through them, but I'd prefer you go through them a little bit. We can go back and forth. But this is just for all of you to know that this is neuroscience. This is not, you know, hoo foo stuff here. This is actually happening in different centers and circuits in your brain. And there's actually four of them that he quotes in the book. I'll start the first one, the default mode network, which of course I had no idea what the heck that was. But why don't you take us through what the other three are and explain that to us a little bit?

• 10:30Speaker 02

  Sure. Let me just make a comment. Obviously this book says it's about the neuroscience. I got a, a, a, a LinkedIn message from somebody said, you know, I bought this book and I really hated it because it went so much into the neuroscience. And I'm like going, wasn't that the name of the book?

• 10:47Ed Mylett?

  Read the background of the guy who wrote it. What do you think?

• 10:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, uh, you're absolutely right. So, uh, as a preface to doing that though, let me just say, and you mentioned it, all of us are manifesting all the time. What we don't appreciate is what we're already manifesting or what we've manifested. And what I mean by that is so much of who we are, if we don't understand how we got here today.

• 11:12Speaker 02

  Then that, because we have to change our habit, our mindset, and our deep-seated beliefs. And I'm sure you've seen the situation where somebody will sit there and say, "You know, I don't understand what's happening to me. You know, it seems as though this pattern keeps reoccurring. I've married the same person, and they're abusive, and they're an alcoholic, or whatever the negative commentary is." And that's because they have no insight or self-awareness of the baggage that they have carried through childhood that is actually manifesting, because you have these deep-seated patterns of behavior that you don't appreciate. And you should also appreciate you can change those habits. So, but getting specifically to answer your question, there are these four areas of

• 11:51Speaker 02

  the brain. And to have them function at their best, you cannot be in your engagement of your sympathetic nervous system, or this flight fighter fear response. It will have a negative impact, although it's not to say you may not be able to manifest, but you may not be manifesting what you need to manifest. So you have to be engaged in the parasympathetic nervous system, the restor-digest system, because your cognitive brain networks, of which the default mode network is one, function at their best in that state. So the default mode network is what happens or is activated when you daydream, or you mind-wonder, but it's very self-referential, but it's also

• 12:34Speaker 02

  the place where you define who you are. And this is critical, to have this image that sort of sits in the background of what you want to be, or how you want to be. And then, the interesting thing is, the other network that's really critical here, is what we call your salience network. So from your default mode network, you create a narrative that then activates the salience network. So salience is meaning something mouth-watering, or something, when you think about it, it activates things you want, right? And so, it results in the subconscious being activated, related to what you want,

• 13:19Speaker 02

  or your intention, or what you're trying to manifest. And once you're able to stimulate that, and I use the example of a bloodhound, once you're able to give the bloodhound the scent, then this activates the attention network, so that there's a laser-like focus of your attention. On manifesting that and then through the salience network, the bloodhounds start searching around for it. And the salience network, if you will, is on alert all the time during your waking state. And once you're able then to define that intention and activate your

• 14:00Speaker 02

  attention, then the situations that many of us call synchronicity or coincidence occur because then your executive control network, which is in your frontal areas and has access to memories, experiences, and in some ways like the CEO who determines how you respond to this unconscious or subconscious desire. And then it occurs. And let me give you a couple of examples. I'm sure you've been at different parties or events where it's really noisy. Yet, if your name is said, you turn to it. Even though it's completely

• 14:43Speaker 02

  loud, nobody else heard it, you turn to it. Because that is a fundamental part of your identity. And so the same is true also as an example. I'll see a patient who may have some sort of a brain condition, and let's say a meningioma. And the person will sit there and they'll say, you know, I have never heard of that before. Wow, you know, this must be really rare. But I'll see them six weeks later and they go, it's the most amazing thing. I've run into six people with the exact same condition, right? Because you have embedded that now, whether you wanted to or not, into your subconscious. And this is the things that can get embedded through fear, through, you know, wanting to do something

• 15:28Speaker 02

  positive for yourself. And I'll give you another example. There's a project that I've been working on for several months. And it's very esoteric. And I was at a coffee shop and it was like completely noisy. I you can hear anything yet. Out of the din of all of that, I heard two words that were critical to this project, which would not have ever been normally out there, or I wouldn't have responded to. I went over, introduced myself. It turns out they're working on the exact same thing. And now we're working together on it. And this is the type of synchronicity or coincidences that repeatedly occur when you unleash your subconscious. Because what

• 16:06Speaker 02

  the subconscious wants, the conscious is ordered to have happen, if you will. So those are how those networks work. And if you

• 16:18Ed Mylett?

  I have a question about the synchronicity. I'm just curious about this. Is it the fact that those things always existed around you or potentially did, but you were oblivious to them because they weren't embedded? And that now that they're embedded, you're seeing, hearing, or feeling those things that were always potentially within your awareness, but you were unaware of them? Or is there some sort of pull power that's taking place that's creating these synchronicities?

• 16:42Speaker 02

  I would say they're always there. We just never are tuned to them.

• 16:44Ed Mylett?

  Got it.

• 16:45Speaker 02

  Right? And so, because you have to understand, our mind is always having to struggle to what we attend to. Right? Our actual attention is quite limited. Although, most people don't believe that, even driving along, and I'm sure you've had the experience where you're driving along and you start thinking about something, and then you're like 10 miles down the road, and all of the stuff that was going on, you can't even remember.

• 17:13Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 17:14Speaker 02

  Right?

• 17:14Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 17:15Speaker 02

  And so, and there's a classic experiment, which I think I mentioned in the book called,

• 17:22Speaker 02

  it's the guerrilla experiment or something like that, but you'll find it in the book. But it's amazing. It's these two teams are playing basketball. One is in a black uniform, the other's in a white uniform. And what the experimenter asks is either, tell me how many times the people in the black shoot a basket to get a point? Or the other is how many pass the ball throughout the whole thing?

• 17:49Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 17:49Speaker 02

  So it turns out in the middle of this video, there is an individual dressed in a gorilla suit, who actually walks through the entire game through the group who are shooting the baskets. And over 50% of people do not even notice it.

• 18:04Ed Mylett?

  How does one begin to embed the things they want to manifest in their lives? Obviously, I was taken back in the book by how much it's state oriented for you. In other words, the state that our bodies are in.

• 18:20Ed Mylett?

  I've always, in my own practice and coaching people, always just sort of went right to the technique of the visualizations, never really caring for the state that one's in in order to be open to creating these new neuropathways in their brains. So could you give us like a practice or a couple of the practices that somebody can begin to implement? I think right now, this part that you may share, I think it could change a couple of million lives right now with just a process oriented structure for somebody to begin to embed the things that they want as opposed to the ones that they're operating out of trauma or fear in.

• 18:56Speaker 02

  So let me make a couple of statements before we go there. One is you have to understand, and I mentioned this a little bit earlier, what are you already manifesting?

• 19:10Speaker 02

  Two is to understand the difference between what you think you want and what you need. And as I, and I think actually as you mentioned earlier,

• 19:23Speaker 02

  you can get things, but it's not always what's best for you. And the reason I bring this up is in the Western narrative of success, which for many people, quote unquote, equals happiness. The narrative is to be happy, you have to have money, power and position. Once you get those, therefore your life now is fantastic. You'll be happy and you will get all the other stuff that will continue that happiness. Now, the problem with that narrative is that what people don't appreciate.

• 20:00Speaker 02

  Is that oftentimes, the things that people believe they want are based out of impoverishment of spirit, or a belief that when others see them having accomplished this, or that, or get things, that they will get external affirmation that will make them feel happy. And in fact, as a 12-year-old with Ruth in this magic shop, she actually had me write down a list of things that I wanted. And of course, from my poverty background, and this was the baggage that I carried with me, it was, I wanted to live in a mansion.

• 20:41Speaker 02

  And 20, or 40-some years ago, 50 years ago, it was, I wanna be a millionaire. Now it's a Cinti millionaire, I guess. I wanted a Porsche, I wanted a Rolex watch. All these external validations of "success." And I ended up getting every one of those things. You know, I became a doctor, and I became a doctor, not that I didn't want to help people, but it was also, I am a doctor, I'm important, see, look at me, right? And I had all of my friends telling me how great my life was, yet, here I have a mansion overlooking the bay in Newport Beach in Southern Cal, I have a villa in Florence,

• 21:24Speaker 02

  I have a penthouse in San Francisco, I have a Porsche, a Ferrari, a Range Rover, Mercedes, a BMW in my garage, I'm dating starlets, I'm flying in private jets, and I was never more miserable than I had ever been in my life. Yet I had manifested everything that I thought I wanted. And, and, and so the problem is, people get focused on things that aren't going to help them, because they think that these types of things are what are going to create a life of happiness, which is what everyone ultimately desires. And so,

• 22:00Speaker 02

  You have to understand, though, that once you change your narrative, not because of what you think you want in that sense, because it's not about you. And, you know, unfortunately, society has created this narrative that you should chase what I want. I want to be famous. I mean, look at what we've done with our children. If you ask high school students, what is it you want to be? What are the four main things? And this encompasses over 75%. I want to be an influencer. I want to be a millionaire. I want to be a celebrity. I want to be a professional athlete. I mean...

• 22:40Ed Mylett?

  Very different in the Western world compared to the answers you'll get from other countries, that there are great study between the contrast of those two.

• 22:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly, because it is a completely different narrative, because we have a very aggressive structure that promotes that narrative of conspicuous consumption and how if you just get these things, you're going to be happy. So you have to change that because that activates the sense of I want actually activates your sympathetic nervous system. And in some ways, it limits you. It's not to say you can't get what you want. But once you start changing your narrative to understand how we evolved as a species, which is to care not only for our offspring, because they require it, but when you care for others outside of your small circle, that activates your parasympathetic nervous system, which does several things. One, it stimulates your reward centers.

• 23:28Speaker 02

  Two, your physiology fundamentally works at its best, and in fact, your longevity is increased. But also, when you look through the world through that lens, you understand the superficiality of many of these other things, and you understand also that when you care for others, it has a very positive effect on you, both mentally and physically. And as the Dalai Lama says, "If you want to make others be happy, be compassionate. If you want to be happy, be compassionate." So, looking at that lens, and so now to more concretely answer your first question, what are the techniques? The techniques are fundamentally...

• 24:12Speaker 02

  How do I gain access to my brain to make it work for me? And not get lost in things that I don't need or not helpful for me? Now, one of the things, and we've been talking about attention a little bit, is also understanding that how we walk in the world, how we analyze things, what we respond to, has to do with input from our sensory organs. Because that connects us to our external environment.

• 24:44Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 24:45Speaker 02

  So, uh, we receive about 10 million bits of information from our sensory organs every second. Yet, uh, we, on a conscious level, only respond or have access to about 50 to 100 bits of information. So 99.999% actually are associated with maintaining homeostasis of our bodily functions. But the reason I mention the small percentages, this is information we can control on a conscious level, and then we can actually embed it into our unconscious to a process which I call value tagging.

• 25:30Speaker 02

  And in some ways, this is our ability, if you will, to place our intention in the filing cabinet of our subconscious, which then gives the unconscious, that bloodhound I mentioned earlier, the ability to look at that file, smell it, get the scent, and start running around trying to help you manifest. The techniques to do that, though, to get access to your mind, is a training program, which is very much like a meditation or mindfulness practice, because you have to be in the right mental state. So you have to calm the mind. You have to relax the body.

• 26:13Speaker 02

  You have to look through the lens of compassion, if you will. Because that's when your body, and I say your body, I'm meaning your mind and your body, are functioning at their best. When that process occurs, all these cognitive brain networks, which we talked about a little bit earlier, function at their best. And I want people to realize that When we talk about manifesting, this process is not 100% guaranteed. It's not like, hey, listen to Jim Doherty, now you're gonna get 100%, I guarantee everything you want. What it does, though, is, one, it makes you understand what you've already been manifesting.

• 26:57Speaker 02

  Two, it gives you clarity of intention about what you should be manifesting. And this is through relaxing the body, taming the mind, focusing your attention, embedding that intention. And then that creates the greatest possibility for you to manifest your desires, or create the life that you want. Now, I'm sure you've talked about Udomonic versus Hedonic happiness.

• 27:27Ed Mylett?

  We have not. Please talk about it.

• 27:30Speaker 02

  What the hell, Ed?

• 27:33Ed Mylett?

  I told you, there's an IQ discrepancy. That's what you're doing here, my brother. I can't wait to hear this.

• 27:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:38Ed Mylett?

  I know, and I know a lot about this because of your work and other work I've done, but we've not talked about it on the show, so this is gonna be interesting.

• 27:44Speaker 02

  Really? Well, so, if we look at oftentimes this term happiness, there's what we call Hedonic happiness, which is hedonism, if you will. And this very much relates to what I want. And in fact, unfortunately, there was a movement in our society that's now spent a few decades, where there was this narrative that if you were in a race, any kid who in the race gets an award, right? And not recognizing, one, that creates a sense of entitlement, even though you didn't do any work to get there. And it negates the fact of life, which is, there are winners and there are losers.

• 28:27Speaker 02

  You have to show up. You have to do work. Otherwise, you're not gonna get what you want. And uh, so this is a very, a very important aspect, but when you focus on I want, the very nature of that I want has to, uh, results in stimulation of your sympathetic nervous system because it's out of fear. You have to have this to show others you're okay. You're, you're chasing after external affirmation. Now I've said this sometimes and people sit there and go, you mean it's wrong to have, you know, want, have materialistic desires? And I say, no, that's not what I'm saying at all. And I'll explain that in a sec. The other side

• 29:09Speaker 02

  of this is what we call Oudamonic happiness. This has to do with, uh, uh, uh, service and meaning. Okay. And if you compare the two, one gives you happinesses, which is transitory and shallow. The other, and this is when you activate your parasympathetic nervous system, your rest and digest mode, results in purpose and meaning because you're being of service to others. And that's when all your brain networks function at their best, thereby giving you the greatest possibility of, um, manifesting your intention. But getting back to having things, my statement is not to sit there and say, one, it's horrible to have

• 29:51Speaker 02

  things. I will assure you, I, uh, live in a nice house. I drive a Porsche. I have a Mercedes. There's nothing wrong with that. The difference is where it is wrong is if you look at that, that is your identity. And if you lose it, you have all this fear and anxiety and insecurity versus how I look at it. I want, I'm very appreciative, have immense gratitude, thoroughly enjoy it. But if it's gone tomorrow, it has zero impact on who I am, who I see myself as, or, uh, my level of happiness. And so that's really the key difference.

• 30:35Ed Mylett?

  People listening to this or watching this around like, well, wait a minute, you know, like you've said, I would like to make a lot of money. Does that mean that, I'll, I'll say it my way, then you correct me. Okay. That the intention that you attach to the desire to accumulate that money. Has an awful lot to do with the probability of you ending up possessing it. Meaning, I want to make 10, I want to have $10 million saved, let's just say. That's one of the things I want to manifest. But I want that $10 million so that I can show you my Ferrari. I can show you my house. You'll think great things about me. That's one person. So they've worked on manifesting their $10 million that way. Another person works on calming their body, getting into that state. And they want to acquire the $10 million so that they can be philanthropic with it.

• 31:18Ed Mylett?

  So that they can care for their family, that their children and grandchildren grow up in a safe place and a safe environment and get good educations. Are you suggesting that the intention attached to the desire you have has a lot to do, not only which way, I understand the difference in the two levels of happiness, but also in the acquisition or the actual manifestation. Does the intention attached to it have something to do with our ability to then have our attention networks open to seeing the things we're supposed to see or hear?

• 31:49Speaker 02

  No, I think you did an excellent explanation. That's exactly right. And this is in some way, some of the examples I give, how you have to reframe what it is you want. If you sit there and say, as you gave that example, I need that $10 million so I can have the big house and stand in front of it with my Ferrari parked there. Everybody looks at me. And this is what influencers do, right? They create this narrative to imply that their life is perfect. You know, they have the filters on, they have all the makeup. They create these, you know, fake backgrounds or are in a place where they rent a place to look at like it's their mansion. And everything is a lie. That's right. Yeah, I mean, you are living a lie. It is not who you are.

• 32:33Speaker 02

  And you have to pay the price for that. Because you can't have calmness about yourself because you know, deep down, you're a fraud. And when you chase these things and it's only about what I want, that's where the problems occur. Versus if you reframe it, and I give an example of a young lady named Anula in the book. She was an immigrant from Sri Lanka. Her parents very much wanted her to be a doctor, as did she. But her real driver was, I need to do that to make my parents happy. And she had this immense anxiety she created for herself, which actually resulted in her not performing well.

• 33:18Speaker 02

  And she didn't get into med school after three times. Now, the interesting thing about that is, based on my first book, where I talk about my own challenges getting into medical school, because I had a 2.53 grade point average. Uh, while the average grade point average to get into medical school was 3.79. And I did not even have enough credits to graduate.

• 33:44Speaker 02

  And I had, as I'm sure you've experienced, quote, friends or family members saying, you're never going to get into medical school, right? Now fortunately, I don't listen to anybody fundamentally, because I have a great belief in myself from what this woman rooftop me. I challenged that, and that could be another story, but I did get into medical school. Right? Uh, uh, and but it was because it wasn't, I'm doing this for somebody. It was a profound belief that by being a doctor, I could be of service, help people, do the right thing. It wasn't, I'm going to be a doctor, I'm going to be a neurosurgeon,

• 34:25Speaker 02

  so that I can make a lot of money and live in the big house and meet the, the, uh, the attractive chicks. It was, I am here to be of service to help people. That's a completely different narrative, and it's a completely different narrative how your mind responds to have you manifesting.

• 34:46Ed Mylett?

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• 35:25Ed Mylett?

  pills and multi-dose pens. I use products by Ro and you should too. Go to ro.co/mylet to see if you qualify. That's R-O dot C-O slash my let to get started on Ro. For side effects of GLP-1 medications, including boxed warning, go to ro dot C-O forward slash safety, ro dot C-O slash safety. So when I end, when I ended up buying the island, we had to do all of our outdoor decorating and I spent a fortune in the first half of the place. And I'm like, I don't want to do this anymore, but I want the best stuff. And that's where Wayfair came in. My wife wanted to get this new garden bed and Wayfair was the place that offered the perfect solution. Wayfair also helps you create a home that stands up to real life with quality products, great value and trusted reviews. Wayfair

• 36:06Ed Mylett?

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• 36:47Speaker 03

  Wayfair, every style, every home.

• 36:50Ed Mylett?

  Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Here's an excerpt I did with our next guest.

• 37:02Ed Mylett?

  We're gonna have a remarkable conversation here with Jen Gottlieb. Jen, welcome to the show. You talk a lot about the subconscious, more than I realized. And I do too. Like what you just said a minute ago, I don't know if it was reading the affirmation or was that I kept this promise to myself. Probably a combination of both. But I do believe there's a lot to keeping these promises we make to ourselves that start to move us from 51 to 53 to 58, et cetera. So you talk about in chapter five.

• 37:25Ed Mylett?

  That you talk about seeing the future you, right? And you actually have some steps to manifesting.

• 37:31Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 37:31Ed Mylett?

  That manifest word sort of become this cliche thing. Almost some people like, okay, we're gonna manifest something, pooey, fooey. But that's not really how you approach it.

• 37:39Speaker 04

  Not at all.

• 37:40Ed Mylett?

  It's actually rather scientific, the way that you do it. So let's talk a little about manifesting and seeing the future you.

• 37:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't even really use the word manifest in the book. I use the word create.

• 37:47Ed Mylett?

  You don't. You do some in your content.

• 37:49Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 37:49Ed Mylett?

  But in the book, you do, you use the word create. Uh, and I think it's, uh, develop or something like that in the book.

• 37:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's the creation process. Cause when I look back at all the things that I've created in my life, it really has been not just because I sat around and visualized it. The visualization, it's an amazing tool. I believe in it fully because I believe in the power of the subconscious mind. And I've done a lot of research on this because I like to back things up with science. I'm like, you know, mixing the, Jenna Kutcher, our friend says, mixing the woo with the work.

• 38:16Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 38:16Speaker 04

  I like to mix them together. And I believe that when you can reprogram the subconscious mind to make believe that this memory happened, the subconscious doesn't know the difference between a real memory and a fake one. So if you can actually feel the feelings that you want to feel in this moment, because we all can, we can all close our eyes and envision ourselves somewhere and feel the actual physical feelings that we would have if we experienced that thing. If we practice enough, the subconscious will start to actually think that that thing happened to you. And then subconsciously, you're actually seeing the opportunities away, way more. And they're like noticeable. And then the fear towards getting that thing is a lot less. And it's like, duh, I'm just gonna take action to do that thing. And that's how we create.

• 38:59Speaker 04

  And that's why there's a whole section in the book about the law of action. Because without action, nothing happens. You can, people are like, oh, I was, I've been manifesting forever and visualizing forever, but I haven't gotten the thing. I'm like, what have you done to get the thing? And in the book, I talk about the story of how I created the role in The Wedding Singer.

• 39:18Ed Mylett?

  Yeah. Tell them, will you tell them?

• 39:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, of course. My favorite story in the world. It's actually, in my entrepreneurial journey, it's the biggest lesson I've ever learned was in this. Um, I moved to New York City when I was 20. I dropped out of college and I was like, I need to go and pursue my dream. And I went to this conservatory program called AMDA. Jason Derulo went there. I know you just interviewed him. We both went there. And when I was there, one of the shows that I went to go see with my friends, we would see a bunch of shows, was The Wedding Singer. And I remember sitting in the back of the theater with my good friend, Pat, and all of a sudden, like 15 minutes into the show, this character takes the stage. And she was like, she was the [BLEEP]. It was Linda, the ex-fiance. Yeah. And she's in this like Madonna like a virgin costume. And there's a smoke machine and she's strutting onto the stage and everyone's laughing.

• 40:05Speaker 04

  It's this comedic character. And I all of a sudden, like God came down and was like, this is your role. I start crying. I'm looking at, but he's like, what is wrong with you? I'm like, oh, my God, I'm gonna play this part one day. I just knew. I, I never really resonated with like the good girl parts. I always wanted to be like the spicy girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, this is it. This is the role. So at that time, my mom, good old mom, had given me another personal development book. And that was the book, The Secret, which was very popular back in the day about the law of attraction. I wasn't into it, of course. I was like, whatever, mom. Like, okay, you can visualize things and they magically happen. Okay. And I put it aside and I remember watching TV and I saw Oprah on TV talking about how she,

• 40:48Speaker 04

  quote unquote, manifested her role in The Color Purple by using the law of attraction. And I was like, oh, maybe if Oprah can do it, maybe I can do it with Linda. So I like secretly did this experiment and I was like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do this with Linda. And at that time, I was in school. I was living in like this little eight foot by eight foot room with like a twin bunk bed, like no way for me to be on Broadway. And I started visualizing every night before I went to bed. And I would sing myself to sleep and I would sing the Linda music and I would see the audience and I would feel the costume on my body and I would see the lights and I would actually experience me playing the part every single night. And that brought me to, in school, I would sing all her songs for all my final demos.

• 41:30Speaker 04

  And, and I, all of a sudden, in my mind, like fully believed that this was my role. And that made the opportunity way more prevalent when all of a sudden I saw the audition for the Broadway National Tour of The Wedding Singer pop up. And I had never been to an audition in my entire life, but I had my Linda costume ready for me. I had already picked it out. I was ready to go. I walk into this audition, I sign on my name on the list. I was like 532 or something. There was like 531 other girls that looked just like me. And I, and I made it to the final two at that audition. It was me and this other girl. Talk about all the symptoms of fear, FOMO, comparison, like it was like we were battling it out. Like it was, but the belief that I had created from all the visualizing was driving me.

• 42:15Speaker 04

  I didn't get the part. I didn't get the part, but I wasn't upset because my immediate reaction, and this is a really important lesson for me in rejection, because I had believed so fully in my heart that this was for me and I had done all of the work. I was like, oh, I just have to get really creative on how to make this happen in a different way. So I started to take action in a different way. And when you get rejected, it simply means you just have to get a little bit more creative and find that redirection to what you really want. It fueled me and so I snuck into a different audition with the same director and I sang the Linda music at an audition for a different show. And I was like, I don't even care. What do I have to lose? And this is a big no-no in the entertainment industry. So he comes out of, after I do this terrible thing that I was not supposed to do.

• 43:01Speaker 04

  And he's like, we're not casting Wedding Singer, but here's my card. Follow up with me when we do. So this is where I learned the power of the follow-up. And you know how good of a follow-upper I am because I followed up with you a zillion times. I followed up with this man for I think six months. I had nothing to say to him. I would just email him every, every week, like, oh, here's a picture of my dog. Oh, I'm practicing my Linda music. Here's a picture of me. You know, how are you? Just follow up, follow up, follow up, keeping myself top of mind. Finally, I get invited back to do it again. The same audition process, same audition process again. I think it was months later. I get an email in my inbox telling me, congratulations.

• 43:42Speaker 04

  We're welcoming you to the Broadway National Tour of the Wedding Singer. Linda, understudy. So close. I still didn't get it, Ed. I still didn't get it. But in my mind, I'm like, okay, talk about FOMO. I had to go to the rehearsals and I had to watch this other girl play my part. And I actually wore a fat suit in the show. That was my role. I was in the ensemble and I was this, that was my character. And I had to wait in the wings and I had to watch this girl. But I don't know who said this quote, maybe you do, but luck is what happens when preparation meets the moment of opportunity. So I decided that instead of feeling jealousy and comparison with this girl, I was going to be unbelievably grateful that she was showing me exactly why I didn't get the part and she did.

• 44:25Speaker 04

  And study her and learn from her and watch her every move and ask her why she did it that way. And really perfect it by studying her and using her as my mentor because clearly I didn't get it for a reason.

• 44:38Speaker 04

  And then finally, when I got my moment. The director called me and he said, "We want to make you Linda on the big tour." But Ed, when I played the part

• 44:47Ed Mylett?

  So freaking awesome.

• 44:48Speaker 04

  On the stage, for the first time, with the same exact visual of that audience and the lights, the costume was the same costume that the woman on Broadway wore. It was on my body. And what I was looking out at was the same visual that I had done in my little twin bed years prior. And I walked backstage and I said, I was like, "Oh, my God, anything that you want, you can create."

• 45:10Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 45:12Speaker 04

  But it's not because I just visualized it. The visualization was the tool

• 45:17Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 45:17Speaker 04

  To keep me going every time I got rejected. And heard no, and heard no, and heard no, and heard no, and heard no. But it was that that drove me.

• 45:26Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 45:26Speaker 04

  It was the law of action, not the law of attraction.

• 45:29Ed Mylett?

  It's the unbelievable explanation of how it really works. It's both, right? You've kind of merged the law of attraction with the law of action together.

• 45:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:38Ed Mylett?

  Obviously, you choose the law of action over it, I do too. That, your mind moves towards what it's most familiar with, and so does your life. So if something's repeated over and over and over and over again in your subconscious mind, you actually begin to gravitate and move towards it.

• 45:50Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 45:50Ed Mylett?

  That's just how life works. Most people just don't invest the time and the reps to do the dreaming over and over and over again. Or they do all of that, to your point, and they don't do any of the law of action. And I think it's a topic that most people don't understand, nor do they take advantage of. One of the key strategies in my entire life of producing the results that I've been blessed to produce has a lot to do, one of the key strategies is visualization. Mental rehearsal. And understanding how to do it, understanding the power of it, and the reasons why you should be doing more mental rehearsal, more visualization. You know, I'm blessed that I've had an opportunity to coach a lot of top CEOs, entrepreneurs, entertainers, and yes, a lot of athletes. And whether that be in the UFC, in the MMA, or a golfer, baseball player,

• 46:34Ed Mylett?

  I get asked often, "What do you work on with a lot of these athletes?" And although we work on a variety of different things, one of them is visualization, because it's really an accepted practice in sports that you visualize things. But most people, you can ask yourself this to begin, "How much visualization do you do in a directed, intentional way?" In other words, you're visualizing things, your problems, your worries, your fears, you're visualizing an appointment, let's just say. But how often are you doing that proactively? Are you using it as a strategy for peak performance, a strategy for bliss, a strategy to be more productive and serve more people? Mental rehearsal and visualization is one of the greatest gifts you could give yourself, and it's a great hack to producing the results that you want.

• 47:14Ed Mylett?

  Because the truth of the matter is you are more than likely producing right now what you've already been visualizing. And so taking control of that and harnessing control of it is a really, really big deal. And why? Because we all have fears, we all have insecurities. These fears and insecurities will find a way to express themselves one way or the other. And so if we can't take control of our fears and our insecurities and we don't build up mental rehearsal and visualization, the things we want, the things that give us confidence, one or the other are going to end up expressing themselves. That's why it's so important that you really learn to take control of your mental rehearsal and visualization. And why is that the case? Here's the deal. You move towards what you're most familiar with in your life.

• 47:58Ed Mylett?

  Okay, so there's a, there's a degree of familiarity in our lives that we move towards what's comfortable, what's safe, what's most familiar to us because it requires the least amount of thinking. Your brain really wants to operate and conserve energy as much as it can. So the more things it can do habitually without having to think, the easier it is on your brain. And so it's constantly trying to get you to move towards what's familiar. And so if what's most familiar to you is your fears, your worries, your anxieties, your insecurities, you will move towards them. If you wonder whether that's accurate or not, we try to avoid things that are unfamiliar to us. People have asked me, oh my gosh, I saw that golfer, he had a putt to win the golf tournament from five feet. And he missed it. And he missed it for two reasons.

• 48:42Ed Mylett?

  Either he was very familiar with the mental rehearsal and the visualization he or she was of missing, and they programmed that fear in, so they moved towards what was familiar. And which was missing the putt. Or they didn't do any mental rehearsal whatsoever. And when they got into that pressure situation, their brain was not familiar with that environment, with that situation. And so it wasn't able to function at its optimal level. And so the reason that we want to make sure that we're doing mental rehearsal and visualization regularly in our life is so that when we get there, we're familiar and we're likely to move towards that result. Already visualized. If we don't, if we only take visualization about our fears and worries, which is what most people do, you will move towards those because you're familiar with them as well.

• 49:26Ed Mylett?

  Or the absence of any preparation. When you walk into a meeting to give a presentation, you've not mentally rehearsed the result. You've not visualized the result. If you've not done that, you've left it up to your own devices and more than likely because you're unfamiliar, your brain cannot perform at its optimal level. So that's why mental rehearsal, preparation. Because your body doesn't know, your subconscious mind does not know the difference between what's real and what's imagined. And so the more you rehearse it, the more your brain believes, your mind believes that you've already done it, you've already accomplished. So when you enter the environment, you enter the situation, you will gravitate and more move towards what's most familiar. How much thinking do you do when you walk into a room full of strangers? Right? You walk in, you don't know anybody in there. You're pulling up to an event and you don't know a soul.

• 50:11Ed Mylett?

  You're going to walk into a room with 50 or 100 people. You're doing some thinking, aren't you? You're thinking about, well, how would I introduce myself? Is my hair the right way? Did I do my makeup correctly? What's a story that I could tell tonight that's funny? What if they ask me this? Your anxiety and nervousness level goes up no matter who you are, right? Because of the unknown, the unfamiliar. And so what happens is you just start thinking and going into pattern mode. You're going into mapping mode. Because where you're going is unfamiliar. Now compare how much thinking you do when you walk into a room like that. Compared to just walking through your front door to your house where everybody's familiar. Do you really even have to think about it? When you walk from your kitchen to the living room where your family is, do you do any thinking whatsoever? Does your heart rate go up at all?

• 50:55Ed Mylett?

  Is there anything in your body that's changing from a neuro biochemistry standpoint? No, you're almost doing zero thinking. Because you're familiar with it. And so in life, if you can begin to become that familiar, like you are with your own family and friends, with your dreams, your goals and your ambitions, or maybe it's as simple as just a specific result in one occasion. The more you've done that, the more you're not going to have to think nearly as much and process information. This is really called mapping. And so life is really better when you don't focus. On what's going on around you, but you focus on what's going on inside of you. Okay. So think about that for a second. Life is always better when you don't focus on what's going on around you, but you focus on what's going on inside of you.

• 51:40Ed Mylett?

  So there's this great story that my producer was sharing with me. He's a big soccer fan about Wayne Rooney, who's one of the most legendary players of all time. And he said he would take his visualization to a level that blew most people's minds. And he would literally get with the equipment manager before a game and ask him, what uniform are we going to be wearing? And so he would get the actual uniform and know what it looked like. He would also want to know what music they're going to be playing when they came out. When they're getting ready to play, he would want to know the exact song and then he would also want to know the weather. So he would then get back and the night before the games would visualize that uniform would visualize that music playing would visualize that weather. So that when he got there, it was all familiar to him. You know, a lot of athletes and people ask me, should I only visualize me getting the yes?

• 52:25Ed Mylett?

  Because I'm mapping, making the putt, making the putt, making the putt. Or hitting the shot or having the knockout or closing the sale or. You know, getting whatever it is that you want. Should I only visualize the positive things? And that's a really interesting thing because the way your brain works. It actually probably serves you most to be always visualizing the positive result. I do think that it's okay sometimes in life to also visualize something that isn't favorable. So in other words, because it's going to happen. So do I let my athletes about 10% of the time? Well, so, okay, let's just, let's, let's hit a bad shot. We've hit a bad shot. What happens in our body? Now we're walking to that shot. How do we deal with it? And so they now are able to deal with something that's inevitable, or if it's one of our fighters.

• 53:11Ed Mylett?

  And I go, listen, you just had the first, you know, it's bad round. He got to you. You took a couple of shots. Looks like he lost round one. You're sitting on the stool. Bam. How do we shift that and visualize from there? Because if you don't visualize some of the unforeseen circumstances that take place and your response to it. In my opinion, when that happens and it's unfamiliar territory, you're lost. But if you say, no, I've been there before. I've missed this putt before. I've missed a shot before. In sales, it's okay to visualize them not always saying yes, but objecting and giving you a reason for not doing it. They may have a question or a concern, right? So I don't think it's a negative thing sometimes that I don't want to, I don't want to pattern

• 53:52Ed Mylett?

  this where it's a pattern I've created, but I think it's okay to, in sales, visualize getting a no or an objection, or in a sport, having a failure happen and then from there, what you need to visualize. So that when the inevitable happens, because life happens, you're gonna miss a sale, you're gonna not hit every putt, not every at bat's gonna be a base hit, right? Not every shot's gonna be in the basket. And so it's okay to say, okay, I just missed a shot. What do I visualize from there? So we're not really visualizing the miss. We're visualizing it's happened, what feels in my body, I know what that is, now what do I do? And so, because you'll watch in sports, most of the great athletes, it's not that they don't miss, it's what they do after they miss.

• 54:36Ed Mylett?

  It's not in life whether you're gonna miss or get rejected or have a difficult circumstance or situation, it's what do you do when it happens? And so I think it's okay that you spend a little bit of time in that zone and then your visualization is your way out of there. So we're not visualizing misses. What I'm suggesting is, is that you're visualizing, okay, I've just missed, now visualize the way out, mentally rehearse the way out. I think you can spend a little bit of time on that, just like the great Wayne Rooney did. I'll tell you one more story, and I don't know whether this is accurate or not, I don't remember the net man's name, and I'm sure I'm messing the story up, so forgive me. But I think the premise of the story and the point that it illustrates is valid.

• 55:17Ed Mylett?

  And so the story goes, I was told this many years ago, that there was evidently a soldier who had spent some time in a POW camp. And when he was there, in order to keep himself sane, frankly, he would mentally rehearse and visualize himself playing an entire 18-hole golf course, round of golf. And again, This is just a story that I was told. I, I hope I'm giving it justice. And the point of the story is that it illustrates the power of visualization. And even if I'm off by the facts a little bit, you know, indulge me a little bit here. But he would visualize playing each shot throughout the day, mentally rehearse and visualize it.

• 55:58Ed Mylett?

  And, and many years later, when he got out of the POW camp, he went home, I believe it was to Texas, somewhere in the Midwest. And his body was totally atrophied. He had no muscle mass left. He had lost considerable weight. He had been obviously hurt and injured and beaten when he was in a camp. And one of the first things he asked to do when he got on his feet was to go play golf. And the story goes that he went out and that first round of golf shot even par. And afterwards, they asked him, how in the world did you do that? You've lost 50 pounds. You, you've had all these injuries. You've had this terrible, uh, mental battle you've had to go through. And he goes, it's easy. I haven't missed a putt in four years. Because what he had done is mentally rehearsed when he was playing those rounds, making that putt, hitting that shot.

• 56:41Ed Mylett?

  Now, whether or not that's an accurate story or not, I don't know. But what I can tell you is that it's illustrative that I've seen something like that in many athletes and many business people's lives where in spite of external circumstances, they've controlled the inside so well. That when they, like I've said, they focus on the inside, that when these variables happen, which is life, a failure, a setback, an unforeseen situation. That they're comfortable because they haven't missed a putt in years when they visualize their way out of that. And so inside of you, you can visualize. So give yourself the gift on a more regular basis of mentally rehearsing the meeting you're going to go to. Do it three, four, five, six times and actually sit in that visualization. Ask yourself questions when you visualize, by the way, the way you get better at it is you do more of it.

• 57:27Ed Mylett?

  In the beginning, when we're visualizing or mentally rehearsing, we're not very good at it because we haven't done it before. We get distracted easily or we don't even realize, we don't even take control of what we're seeing. But begin to ask yourself, when I visualize, do I see it in black or white or color? Let me make some distinctions about what you're seeing. Can I feel things? Do I smell things? Do I hear things? Can I take this picture that I'm seeing this result I want to produce this award I want to win this you know this situation I want to get out of a date that I'm going on this you know potential sale that I've got this baseball I want to hit this putter when you watch it start to ask yourself and take a look at what you're seeing like for example where's the camera that'd be interesting huh do you see the camera where you're looking

• 58:12Ed Mylett?

  at it out there so you see it from your own perspective or do you see it from the person's situation who's watching you do you see it from above just taking advantage and you go wow I'd never thought about that before well think about it it'll help you take better control you know when I work with athletes when they're baseball hitters I'll often often ask them I'll say close your eyes and visualize hill line drive up the middle and they'll go great I did it and they'll open their eyes like okay good where was the camera and they're like huh I said where was the camera I don't know I said well let's close your eyes and do it again I said the camera could be a lot of different places the camera could be you in the batter's box and you're seeing out at the pitcher in the field it could be like you watch baseball on TV because you're familiar with it and it's behind the center field fence looking over the pitcher into the catcher it could

• 58:56Ed Mylett?

  even be the view you get on deck but the first thing is to at least see what you see now you have a chance to play the video and so I'll ask them can you see what you see yes okay and they say well no but it's for me in the batter's box awesome so then we know and we go much more detail than this but it's beginning to just see what you see hear what you hear or don't hear smell what you smell or don't smell right for the most part most people can very quickly go I see things in black and white or I see them in color and then just start to take control of what it looks like and then the only other thing to ask yourself if you want to really reinforce a visualization is you could speed it up a little bit or you could slow it down you could zoom in if you wanted to and the more you just kind of play with your ability to visualize the more it becomes a muscle

• 59:40Ed Mylett?

  zoom in zoom out change the color add some music to it right speed it up slow it down and then just repeatedly see something over and over again it'll serve you and so it's something that I teach the athletes that I do it's not very complicated it's just basically starting to take control of your mind's eye of what you think about you don't have to be very specific with it it could just be the same thing you see every time but the more you prepare you will begin to move towards what you're most familiar with and what's great about that is anxiety level goes down and your brain your subconscious mind it doesn't know the difference between what you're imagining and what's actually happening And so you actually can get a hit every time you're up to the plate. You can make a putt every single time you stand over it. You can get a yes.

• 1:00:23Ed Mylett?

  And the more specific, when you start with a visualization, oftentimes in the beginning, they'll be very general, but the more you get good at it, maybe it gets more specific, where you can even see when you've helped somebody out in your business, them thanking you and the smile on their face. Maybe you can begin to feel what it feels like with their gratitude. Right? I'll have athletes often, I'll say, did you make the putt? How did it feel? Fist pump that thing, lock it in, right? So the more you do it, the more it grows as something you you build as a habit. It doesn't need to be any more complicated than that. But I'm telling you, life is a whole lot better when you focus on what's going on inside of you as opposed to what's going on around you. And the more we just get internal, we begin to, you know, take some measure of control

• 1:01:04Ed Mylett?

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• 1:01:49Ed Mylett?

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• 1:02:34Ed Mylett?

  You can have all these supplements for $2.61 a day. I've changed my mornings. The whole IM8 routine has changed my mornings. I feel great and I bring energy to the entire day. Go to IM8health.com/Ed10 right now, or click the link in the description and use code ED10 for a free welcome kit, five free travel sachets plus 10% off your order. That's code ED10 at IM8health.com/Ed10. Code ED10 at IM8health.com/Ed10. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

• 1:03:14Ed Mylett?

  I've been asked, Ed, what's a secret that we don't hear anywhere else that can help me achieve my vision and my dreams for my life? Because there's all these checkmark things you'll hear on podcasts or social media that are wonderful tactics. But Ed, do you have something you could share with us that's almost like a secret of yours that no one else covers? And so I'm going to do that with you today. See, one of the things I'm a big believer in is that you must touch your dreams before you have them in order to make them a reality. You have to touch them. You have to become in proximity to them. You have to become familiar with them. See, in life, we will never exceed what we believe we're worth or we deserve. We'll never get more than we believe we deserve. We will also never acquire or be somewhere we don't believe we belong. And if you're like me, I was raised where when I would see affluent

• 1:03:58Ed Mylett?

  or rich people in their homes or their mansions or their nice cars, or even a nice restaurant, heck, even a nice hotel. I don't know really why it was felt in my family that way, but I always had this sense, we don't belong there. We don't belong there. And then even when I would see super happy families, because many of you know that I grew up with an alcoholic father who eventually got sober. But I remember as a little boy, sometimes wishing I was in another family because they seemed happy and joyous. And I knew the strife and anxiety and tension that was going on in my home. And I remember thinking even as a little boy, I really don't belong in those happy houses. And I certainly don't belong in those rich hotels or mansions. You'll never end up anywhere you don't believe you belong.

• 1:04:41Ed Mylett?

  And so what I had to do, and I think you're going to need to do, and I think this will be special for you today. Is you have to begin to condition your brain and condition your spirit into believing you belong in these places. So I want you to write this down. Touch your dreams. It's so important that you touch your dreams because what that does in your life, think about it this way. Think of someone who's a professional athlete right now. Pick anybody that you admire LeBron James or, you know, Aaron Judge in baseball or a great golfer like Brooks Koepka, whoever it might be, pick the sport. One of the things they had the benefit of is playing that sport as a young boy or Serena Williams in tennis, right? Or as a young girl and, and what happens is they become familiar in those environments. And so as they go through the ranks and climb and acquire more and more talents and skills.

• 1:05:26Ed Mylett?

  They believe they belong there because they've been on a tennis court a thousand times. They've been on a golf course a thousand times. They've been on a baseball diamond a thousand times or a basketball court. So all, they didn't have to worry about whether they belonged. Or whether they touched the dream, they touched every day as they caught a ball, hit it, threw it, dunked it. Right? Hit a driver. So they actually, over time, spent time in their dream and as they acquired more talents and skills, it naturally perpetuated them. But most of us, the career we're in, or the mansion we want to get to, or the home we want, or the relationship we want, or the emotions we want to feel. We haven't had the benefit of spending time in those environments.

• 1:06:05Ed Mylett?

  And because we haven't had any time in those environments, even if we acquire the skills and the talents and the opportunities to get there. If we don't believe we belong there. Or we're not familiar with it, we don't end up there. And so what I had to do, and I started doing it pretty young, is I had to begin to condition myself to believe I belonged there by touching my dreams. And so I'm going to talk to you about a couple of different strategies on this that I think are a very, very big deal. See, your mind moves towards, gravitates towards what it's most familiar with. So if it's most familiar with your current environment all the time, it's going to continue to gravitate and attract that environment because you're vibrating at that frequency. It's your most dominant thought. It's your most common circumstance.

• 1:06:48Ed Mylett?

  And so if you don't do anything to shake that up, to shake the visual picture of your life, what you're touching, feeling, smelling. You you end up just sort of acquiring skills and you never move out of that environment and get to the dream. So I knew I had to start touching my dreams and what I did is I would do those I I had to create strategies and I recommend you do. Some of them cost money and some of them are completely free. So I know some of your listeners gonna listen, I have no money. You don't understand my situation, I'm in debt, I can't do a few of the things you're gonna recommend, don't worry, I'm gonna get to some things for you in a minute as well. And then those of you on a limited budget like me, I'm gonna talk about spending just a little bit, okay, just a little bit. Nothing I'm gonna talk about is is mega expensive, okay?

• 1:07:29Ed Mylett?

  So what I did was I was coming up in business, I was used to, I guess what you would probably call a lower middle class lifestyle. Okay, and I would see, like I said, these mansions and hotels and cars and happiness even. And think I didn't belong there and I became very uncomfortable even thinking about those environments. So I had to start putting myself in those environments on very short term basis. So what I would do is I was in the sales business. I would create incentives with myself, stay with me, this is very important in your life. I would create incentives with myself where I would say, hey, okay, Ed, if you make ten sales this month, whatever it was, ten sales, or you make five thousand dollars, you make ten thousand dollars, or you do X or Y.

• 1:08:10Ed Mylett?

  If you do this, at the end of the month, you're gonna take a one day break and you're gonna go touch your dream. So for example, I lived in Southern California. There was a Ritz Carlton Hotel in Laguna Beach, Dana Point, California. And I used to set these contests up, I couldn't afford to live at the Ritz Carlton or where those people go. But what I would do is I said, okay, I'm making seven thousand dollars a month. If this month I make twelve sales and I make an extra two thousand dollars, back in that time, I'm gonna take that extra three hundred dollars. And I'm gonna go spend one night on Saturday night at the Ritz Carlton Hotel. I would leave my environment, my wife and I would get in our car. We would drive down to the Ritz Carlton and I remember the first time I got there, not knowing how you even tipped the valet.

• 1:08:52Ed Mylett?

  And not even wanting to park my car and, you know, bring my car to the front of the hotel because it was a Honda CRX. But I did. And I rolled up to the Ritz Carlton in my Honda CRX and I the Valley, I didn't know, do you tip them now? Do you tip them when you come back? So I just tipped them both. I gave him the tip. And I remember the first time I watched my wife get out of the car and I went to grab my bag. He said, no, Mr. Mylett, we've got your bag. No one had ever done that for me before. It was very awkward for me. I was afraid they were gonna take my bag. And then I remember we walked into the lobby and I saw this marble on the floor and the chandelier. And I'm like, my gosh, it was overwhelming. And then checking in, giving them my credit card and hoping I had enough of my credit card for the incidentals on top of the room.

• 1:09:35Ed Mylett?

  And the first time it was a little bit awkward. We stayed there and we were laying out at the pool with all these very wealthy people. And we had dinner that night, a decent bottle of wine. And during the daytime, I went and played golf and I'll talk about that in a minute. My wife went and got a massage and the whole thing cost me, I don't know, at that time, like seven, eight hundred dollars, which was a lot of money to me. But I touched my dream. And then I went back and it's just different. You drove back. My ideas, my thinking, my vibrational frequency was just slightly different. And I remember thinking, I want to get back there. I can't live where they live. I can't wait to get back there. And then the next month I said, if I do X or Y, we'll go back for one night, just one night. We're just gonna taste it. Just a bite. I can't eat the whole steak. I can't afford that. I certainly can't have the whole meal. I certainly can't have the rest of it, but I can have a bite of my dream.

• 1:10:18Ed Mylett?

  And that's what I'm encouraging you to. I had a bite of my dream. And I'll give you other strategies in a minute that aren't anywhere near that expensive. But I had a bite and it tasted good. And the next month I said, if I do six or eight more of these sales, I'm gonna go there and we're gonna do one. And I didn't do it. And so I didn't go. Cause I didn't want to train my brain that we just go. I had to earn it. I had to do something exceptional to get the reward. I did not want to do it if I, so there were many times I set up these contests myself. I didn't hit them. We didn't go. And I asked my wife, start shopping for deals, look for discounts, look for places to go that aren't, that are expensive, but we can get on the cheap. But then I remember about four months later, I hit my number again. And we went down there again. Same routine, except this time I kinda knew how to handle the valet. And when I walked in, it's a little bit different.

• 1:11:02Ed Mylett?

  Still a little bit awkward, a little uncomfortable, but now laying out at the pool, I kinda knew where the towels were. I knew what drink to get. You know? My wife knew where the spa was, we didn't have to ask. I knew where the golf course was. And by the way, why was I playing golf? I had a mentor tell me, Ed, rich men play golf. And I remember thinking to myself, I don't even like golf. It's five, six hours, it's boring, I'm not any good, I'm a baseball player, I want some action. Ed, rich men play golf. And I figured out what that really meant. That was a chance for me to get on a golf course with three or four other guys, who were already living like I wanted to live. And I get to spend four or five hours with these people, and if I didn't know them, like, how'd they walk? How'd they talk? How'd they think? What are their problems? Kind of vocabulary do they use? So I would go play golf and she would go to the spa.

• 1:11:47Ed Mylett?

  And then we'd have that dinner, and at the dinner, we would dream about what our life would look like and where we were gonna go. And I'd say, babe, someday we'll live down here. You know that Ritz Cove that's connected, that community? That's where we're gonna live someday, right down here in Laguna Beach, there's a community right next to it. And that's a little bit more familiar. And then about four months after that, we did it again. Except this time, I remember walking in there going, I kinda feel like I belong here. And then I snuck into the gated community and we just drove around. I couldn't get past the guard gate the first time, then I found a way in. We just walked around and drove around and looked at the homes. And what I was happening is I was just touching my dream and becoming more familiar with it. And as I did this over time, as I did this over time,

• 1:12:31Ed Mylett?

  I started to believe I belonged there. And as I was acquiring more skills, more abilities, more opportunities, this started to happen as well because I belonged there. I was conditioning myself. I was giving myself a mental rehearsal of what my potential life would look like. And then I remember one time, I said, hey, if I hit my numbers this month, let's go out to the desert, to Palm Springs area, La Quinta, California. Let's go out to the La Quinta Resort. We went out to the La Quinta Resort. I'll never forget it. Same routine. I played golf. She went to the massage. We sat around the pool. Do you know to this day that my two main homes are in Laguna Beach and La Quinta, California? Do you think that's by coincidence?

• 1:13:14Ed Mylett?

  See, over time of touching my dream and getting a bite of it, I became familiar with it. Your mind moves towards what you're most familiar with. What you gravitate towards. Now, I think you need to set up incentives to do it. But I'm going to tell you, this changed my life. Now, let's step back and you say, Ed, I don't have the money to do that. Great. Here's what I want you to do. Whatever your dream is. Let's say your dream is something material. Go to a watch store and try on those watches. Once a month. Go do that. Go to the suit place and put the suits on, but don't buy them. Rent a car for a day. Rent a Lambo for a day. Rent a Rolls Royce for a day. Something for a day. I'm gonna give you stuff in a minute that costs nothing. Just so you know, I'm going from the expensive thing to the nothing thing. Start to touch your dream.

• 1:13:59Ed Mylett?

  Those of you that are doing a little bit better, one time, save up for a year, rent a jet.

• 1:14:05Ed Mylett?

  Instead of taking, by the way, this is the thing I would not do, is what I see people with success doing all the time. They take these long vacations. I've never taken a long vacation. I would take one and two day vacations, Cabo, Laguna Beach, wherever. One and two day vacations. Why? I didn't want to lose the momentum in my business. But what would happen, listen to me, when I would get away for a day or two. My environment dictated my thinking. When I got into these other environments, that's when I would dream bigger. That's when I think about my new vision, where I was going, what I wanted to do, what my idea was, what my plan was. People always say, I have a hard time getting my plan. That's because you're in the same environment. Get out of your environment. Go somewhere for a day or two. And by the way, those of you that are trying to climb to success, what are you doing taking one and two and three week long vacations ever?

• 1:14:47Ed Mylett?

  I'm 52 years old. You know how many week long vacations I've taken in my lifetime? Less than I can count on both hands. Maybe less than I can count on one hand. I don't take week and two weeks away. My businesses need me. But I've taken a lot of one and two days, three days. Because it's the same juice. I can get the same juice without wringing out the dang orange all the way. Coming back and there's all these problems. Right? So don't take long breaks. You're trying to climb to the top. Let me just let you in on it. Those of us that have climbed to the top, there weren't long vacations. I know you see people on Instagram when they're European trip. I don't even know how these people got their money. I don't get all that. That's something you do after you're really wealthy. And even after I got really wealthy, I just have no stomach for it.

• 1:15:31Ed Mylett?

  I don't like being away. I love business. I love my, I love my life. I live on vacation now. You want to build a great life? Build and have homes where everybody else's vacation someday. And the way you do that is go touch those dreams one bite at a time, every couple of months. If you gave yourself the gift a couple of times a month, excuse me, a couple of times a year, three times a year, six times a year of touching your dream. Renting the car, renting the house, right? For a week, for, excuse me, for a day. Going to the hotel for, your dream will think, you'll meet people, you'll vibrate differently, your big thinking comes out. You have a very difficult time changing your thinking in the same environment. It's very difficult to do. So what happened was I was able to change my environment for just 24 or 48 hours.

• 1:16:15Ed Mylett?

  And that's where I would do my big dreaming, my big thinking, my big strategizing. Plus, I'm becoming familiar with the dream. Plus, I'm moving towards it. Plus, I believe I belong there and your mind moves towards what it's most familiar with. So now I'm becoming a little bit more familiar with this stuff. You starting to get this now? You say, Ed, my dream's not material at all. I get it. Most of mine aren't either. So what if once a month or once a quarter, let's say your dream is to serve in your church? Have you ever just taken a Wednesday off on a vacation day? And served at your church, your mosque, your temple, or your synagogue? Do you know what that would do for your spirit and your soul to touch that dream? Have you ever just taken a day off? And spent it doing something that's your dream? Just the day off, you just unplug. You just sit on the beach.

• 1:17:01Ed Mylett?

  Right? With your dream is service. What if you took a day and served at a homeless shelter or a soup kitchen? Right? Or anywhere like that, or a women's shelter, whatever it might be. Right? Or you want to get involved in helping people with cancer, or there's a charity or something you want to get mine? Take a day. And touch that dream. It costs nothing. If you have no money, but it's material, drive into the nice neighborhoods, get out and walk around, go to open houses. Touch these things. If it's you, you wish you could be a trainer full time. There's a career you want to do, but you gotta pay the bills of the day. Take one day and go do that career. Ask someone if you can, if for one day get mentored by them, follow them around the gym. If that's what you want to do, follow them around the lab, follow them around the business office.

• 1:17:46Ed Mylett?

  Touch your dream. Now there's these things in my life have changed me. Why? There's also proximity to power. There's proximity to being around power. And power is your dream. Power is the people who have those dreams. Those people have the answers, the thoughts, the vocabulary, the vibrational frequency, the relationships. I remember watching these guys playing golf and just how they walked was different than me. What they talked about was different than me and not all of them had it, but some of them did. I remember the first, one of the first times we were laying out at the pool going, wow, people just lay like this and relax. I've never done this in my damn life. I wonder if there's some correlation between this relaxation and being successful. And so do you understand what I'm telling you?

• 1:18:30Ed Mylett?

  That an element that's missing in your life, listen to me, is you touching your dream. And then here's the free one of all of them. Mental rehearsal, just visualization of the dream. Giving yourself the gift of picturing yourself driving that car, picturing yourself in that church, picturing yourself with that body, picturing yourself in that relationship, picturing yourself with that emotion. Mental rehearsal causes you to believe you belong in the dream. Do you mentally rehearse? How often do you mentally rehearse? Because what's really happening is your visual sphere, your auditory fear, your kinesthetic fear, the things you touch on a regular basis, hear and see.

• 1:19:12Ed Mylett?

  Are mentally rehearsing the rest of your life for you. So at some point, you have to take control of that, override it and actually force yourself to mentally rehearse the things you want in your life. That's a form of touching your dream. It's the lowest, the lowest vibrational frequency is picturing it. But it's better than not. And if you do it enough times, because dreaming is free. You could do this daily and repeat it. And if you stack up that enough times, it can be more powerful than touching it for one day a quarter. But imagine if you combine the two, the mental rehearsal in your life of whatever the emotion, the dream, the car, the house, the relationship, the service, the contribution, the memory. The rapid, the repetitious. Mental rehearsal.

• 1:19:56Ed Mylett?

  And then once or twice a year, four or five times a year, you go touch your dream on a budget. Or even not on a budget, you drive the neighborhood, you try on the watch, you try on the shoes, you try on. Listen to me, these things matter. You put yourself in these environments, you go have dinner at. You know, a lot of people go, well, we go out to dinner every single week. Once a week, let's just say you do that. Okay. What if you just went once a month, but you went to the place you'd like to go the rest of your life? So you saved the money from those three meals that you don't go. And on the fourth one, you go to the place you'd like to be. And get to touch the dream. You starting to see what I'm saying? So maybe a little bit further along, you'll give yourself a gift, you got a couple bucks, have a night where you don't go out and you have a chef come cook for you. And I know that some of these things are things that not many of you are nowhere near ready to do.

• 1:20:41Ed Mylett?

  Remember what I just said, I started out by driving the neighborhoods for free. Just getting into the neighborhood. I couldn't even get into the houses. I couldn't even get through the gates. And then that graduated to one night at a hotel near those neighborhoods. But where it really started. Was the mental rehearsal. Ed Mylett had to convince himself he belonged in his dreams. Ed Mylett had to become familiar with these dreams by touching them mentally, physically. And actually auditory as well. I remember the first time we didn't get, when we would go to the Ritz Carlton, we would always get the cheap garden room. And I remember about two years into doing it, I go, we're gonna get the ocean front. And I'll never forget the first time when I woke up and I could hear the waves crashing.

• 1:21:26Ed Mylett?

  Actually, I went to sleep. Frankly, the waves were so foreign to me that I had a hard time sleeping with the noise. But I remember waking up and I opened the door on our balcony. This is two years into doing this. I opened the door on our balcony and I went, oh, wow. This is a different morning. You wake up here in the ocean waves and feeling that breeze and that smell of the saltwater. I belong here. I want this. And it incentivized me to work a thousand times harder had I not experienced it. Somehow this starts to change our desire level as well. And so you start mixing all this together. You got a little bit of a recipe. So let me ask you today.

• 1:22:10Ed Mylett?

  Doesn't cost you anything to dream and mentally rehearse. Are you willing to do that? Number one, whatever it is, material or not material. Number two, are you willing to start setting up some incentives with yourself? Or just start saving for that once a quarter, once a month, twice a year experience for a day or two? Where you touch your dream? Third, if it's service oriented, are you willing to take off a day, a quarter? And go serve in your church or your synagogue or your temple? Whatever it might be. Are you willing to go try these things on? Maybe rent a car for a day? Are you willing to do that? Are you willing to touch your dream to some extent? You have to bite the steak before you can eat the whole thing. And this is an element not talked about.

• 1:22:54Ed Mylett?

  Now, if you have the opportunity, you acquire the talents and the skills. I'm telling you, become an unstoppable force. So my challenge to you today is, are you willing to make any of these adjustments to your life game? Worst case scenario, drive your car somewhere. It's free and walk around where your dream exists. Walk where it exists. Maybe your dream is to live in New York City, right? You live in the suburbs of New Jersey. Get in your dad gum car or take a cab and get over there and just walk around and touch it. See it, smell it. And what has starts to happen is you build something called sensory acuity. And this sensory acuity makes your senses more acute.

• 1:23:36Ed Mylett?

  And then in your everyday life, you begin to see people, places and things that deliver on that dream that you're now familiar with. Here's the truth. Last thing I'll tell you. If you continue to live unfamiliar with your dream, you will die unfamiliar with it. But if you begin to familiarize yourself with your dream, with mental rehearsal, or physical touch, or the actual experience of doing it on short-term basis, there's a high probability that when you are at the end of your life, you will have lived that dream. Why is it so important to achieve your dreams? Because your dreams are not a joke. Your dreams are not a hallucination. See, I believe God gives you your dreams as a preview as to what's possible in your life. These are the possibilities. That's why these dreams are in your heart.

• 1:24:21Ed Mylett?

  This is what's possible for you. It doesn't mean it's going to happen. It doesn't even mean it's probable. Here's what's possible. And what I believe is you take possibility to probability by repetition, mental rehearsal, and conditioning. All I did is have dreams of what was possible. The difference with me, I believe, now that I'm 52 years old on the other side of it, obviously was all the hard work. But you know what spurred the hard work? Belief I belong there. At some point, if you don't believe you belong there, you stop catching those ground balls. You stop hitting those home runs. You stop swinging those golf clubs in practice. At some point, you've got to believe you belong there to make those phone calls, eat the right diet, make the contacts, whatever that thing is in your life. You have to have the desire level and the hard work.

• 1:25:03Ed Mylett?

  And I believe the hard work only long-term comes from believing you belong there. And when your entire environment and all the people around you on a daily basis, don't reinforce that and don't condition it. You must override it in short-term bites. But if you do, these things that God's given you as possibilities of your life become probabilities. And then you become what I call an impossibility achiever. And in my life, I feel like I've become an impossibility achiever. What most people think's impossible, I got the recipe for. I start envisioning it, then I start touching it, then I start experiencing it, then I start believing I belong there, then I become familiar with it, and then I have it. Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Be sure to follow The Ed Mylett Show on Apple and Spotify.

• 1:25:47Ed Mylett?

  Links are in the show notes. Here's an excerpt I did with our next guest. So this is Eric Thomas, as you all know, obviously watching you right now. There's an anointing, a giftedness with the way you speak and communicate. Yeah, and you're good, and you've worked on that gift too. One of the things I love that you talk about, talk about this for a second, then I'm gonna ask you about your speaking, but gifts like Dee Dee, right, or like other gifts in your life, don't always show up, as you say, in the packages you expect them to, right? Or perfectly gift wrapped. Some of the biggest gifts I've had in my life did not show up the way I expected them to, right? Speak about that a little bit, in people's lives.

• 1:26:22Eric Thomas?

  Yeah, I think for real, man, most of them, you know, and you gotta be humble. You know, and I think too many of us, who've been blessed like we've been blessed, people watch us and don't see the humility. Like, they would prefer to see, you know, the confidence in us, you know, the passion, and overlook like, the humility, but when you're humble, that's how you see things that other people don't see. Like, when you're humble, you see, you're out running water. You know what I'm saying? I've been to other countries where they don't have running water, you know? Um, you know, we all have a roof already, this is a different type of roof, you know what I'm saying? But, but you can look at this every day and see the water and just go like, yo, this is a gift, because how many people have tried to do the exact same thing you tried to do?

• 1:27:05Eric Thomas?

  In the exact same way you tried to do it, and it didn't end up like this? So I wake up every day like, yo, E, you've been married 20, somebody, you've been married almost 28 years, like, somebody took a chance on you? You know what I'm saying? And I'm being real, like, her mom was like, "Don't do it." Her father was like, "Don't do it," like, what does he have? He doesn't have anything. That's a gift, when somebody loves you, when you don't have absolutely anything, and then now it's a gift to be with somebody who's not with me because I'm ET the hip-hop preacher, but really has been with me like, in the good, the bad, the ugly, so I know, this is my, my ride or die. So I think gifts are all around us, but some people aren't humble enough to say, "Yeah, I did work for this one, but this one, let's just be honest, I didn't work for this one."

• 1:27:47Eric Thomas?

  This was a gift from God, this was given to me, and I, and I gotta be humble and be grateful for it.

• 1:27:52Ed Mylett?

  I gotta tell you how similar you and I are, because I know you haven't seen this, but like, it's about running water, and be, having humility, right? Because when people see outwardly confident people, they can mistake I think sometimes dudes like you and I that have this outward confidence. It's because we've had to work on ourselves so damn much too, right? Like I was not born super confident, right? I had enough things in my life, but when I was early on in business. When Chrissy and I were first married, I got my power turned off, car repoed, all that stuff that can happen to you. I went backwards first, but the worst thing that happened was my water got turned off. So you can have power turned off, phone turned off, you can survive. You get no water. Let me tell you, you can't bathe, you can't cook. And we would have to get up in the mornings. I'm a newlywed. We'd have to get up in our apartment.

• 1:28:34Ed Mylett?

  I'd walk my new bride down the stairs. We would take a shower at the pool. And just like I'd stand in front of there because there was no curtain. It's freezing cold so that we could shower in the morning. And then we would get up, right? And I'd have to go out to work that day and pretend like some successful dude. But the point is like if the ocean here, clearly I go, that's a gift. But there are a lot of mornings, not every morning, I'm not gonna lie to you, but a lot of mornings, honestly, the gift is I pull that shower faucet and water comes out of it. I'm serious. I go, man, thank you, Lord, right?

• 1:29:03Eric Thomas?

  Because you didn't have it, now you're, you know, you're able to reflect.

• 1:29:07Ed Mylett?

  Hundred percent. I just want to emphasize how awesome that point is because I've lived that and I still live it. Even before we were on camera, you and I were talking about our speaking and we're critical of ourselves. We're trying to get better all the time. Fight for that little bit of a difference. When did you know you had this? Because I look at someone like you, there's a gift there, okay? The Lord sowed into you the gift of speaking, of communicating of, and I don't even think it's that. I think it's the gift of transferring of energy, transferring of spirit, of information to people. You're gifted at that. But you got great at it by refining that gift. When did you know? Hey, this is something different about me. I can really speak here. This is something unique.

• 1:29:44Eric Thomas?

  Freshman year in college, don't laugh. All right, freshman year in college. Me and my boys start like this, like Christian, like organization. So every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday. We'd speak. Now, they didn't let me speak initially. Because I was a high school dropout, rough around the edges, like I wasn't really polished, right? And so, but here's the good thing is, you know, you stay humble. It's a gift. So we did it every Tuesday, Thursday, Sunday. So at some point, the guys couldn't make the appointment. So, so I was like always the host of the show. So when they didn't show up,

• 1:30:17Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 1:30:17Eric Thomas?

  They like, well, we bringing so and so to speak. I'm like, nah, no, you're not. I'm, I'm hosting. So this is my shot right here.

• 1:30:24Ed Mylett?

  The best ability is availability, right?

• 1:30:26Eric Thomas?

  Herb wasn't there, Trey wasn't there. I'm like, finally, three, four months into it, I'm like, I, I'm, no, I'm in because they not there. So I'm in. Like, don't put me in, I'm in. You know, and I, and my first message was pimping ain't easy, but somebody's gotta do it. That was my first message.

• 1:30:42Ed Mylett?

  Church meeting.

• 1:30:43Eric Thomas?

  Yeah, the church meeting. Pimping ain't easy, but somebody's gotta do it. That's why I said, don't laugh. But, but this is how I knew I had something because people were like, yo, nobody's ever, and so I talked about how the devil's trying to pimp us. And, and, and you know, and I just took that whole angle. And my second message just blew up was how many licks does it take to get to the center of a sucker? You know, and so everybody was just like, yo, bro, this is different. Like, this is not a normal preacher. It's not a normal delivery. The energy is kind of different. So while adults weren't really fooling with me, a lot of guys who were like, yo, we don't even do that church stuff. Like, we don't do that kind of stuff. We not into that. And what was unique about, and I'm glad you asked, nobody's ever asked me this.

• 1:31:27Eric Thomas?

  What was unique is that we did it at the bell tower, which was in the center of the campus. So you had to pass it to go anywhere. So it was catch like, yo, I wasn't coming to no spiritual event, but I would hear that loud voice and that passion. And I heard pimping, pimping, pimping. Are you talking about pimping at church? You know, so they would just walk over like, yo, what is he talking about pimping ain't easy? And, and it was at that point when I saw non-church, regular people, jeans, t-shirts coming by. And when I would speak, stop, I was like, yo, E, you got, you got something. Yeah, you got something.

• 1:32:05Ed Mylett?

  You knew it then.

• 1:32:06Eric Thomas?

  Yup.