Giggling about robbers, ringworm, and riffing

There's a good chance Hannah has ringworm, but Paige is more worried about whether or not low ponytails are in for fall. subscribe to our newsletter

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Hannah Berner?

  Sweater season is in full effect and Abercrombie is setting a new standard. Thanks to the quality fabrics like 100% cashmere wool blends and other natural fibers, I'm using this drop as permission to curate my entire fall wardrobe around sweaters, especially the World Net Cruise sweater. It's a classic silhouette that I can easily throw on and go or dress up for nights in the city. Outfit accordingly this season with Abercrombie. Shop in the app, online and in stores. I was thinking about how women have so many little things we have to do when we're getting home that you have to be aware of.

• 0:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Like so many people have my location.

• 0:36Hannah Berner?

  And you have to share your ETA, you have to check the route, you have to text everyone I'm home.

• 0:39Paige DeSorbo?

  And if your friend like doesn't text you, "Oh, you got home," you're, you're calling the FBI.

• 0:44Hannah Berner?

  Yep, yep. And we joke about it because it's so normal to us, but you're constantly paying attention. And even when you're exhausted and just want to get home, your brain still has to be on. You're like, is this guy going the right route? Am I in the right place? Who's around me? What's happening?

• 0:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, there's truly no clocking out of your safety.

• 1:01Hannah Berner?

  And that's why riding in a Waymo feels different. It's an autonomous ride with an empty driver's seat. So, once you get in, you have this private space that's actually just yours.

• 1:09Paige DeSorbo?

  And you know, I love alone time and I truly feel like it's such a luxury in a Waymo.

• 1:14Hannah Berner?

  Especially after being social, like I love everyone, but like.

• 1:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Please, nobody speak to me.

• 1:18Hannah Berner?

  Like, give me 20 minutes. I want music, the right temperature. There's no compromising and you can customize the ride, put on your own music, answer texts. You ignore it all night, stare out the window. You actually have a minute where you're not thinking about everyone else.

• 1:32Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's the thing, it's not even necessarily about doing something. Sometimes it's just, you want to sit there and not speak.

• 1:39Hannah Berner?

  And put your guard down for a second and feel safe.

• 1:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Which truly women deserve.

• 1:44Hannah Berner?

  We deserve to disassociate safely for 20 minutes.

• 1:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I mean, put that on a T-shirt for real.

• 1:49Hannah Berner?

  And obviously, safety is a huge part of why that feeling matters. Knowing Waymo's safer, there's something refreshing in having that space where you can just be yourself and let Waymo handle the driving.

• 1:59Paige DeSorbo?

  And we spend enough of our lives being on.

• 2:01Hannah Berner?

  Exactly.

• 2:02Paige DeSorbo?

  We don't need to be on in the car.

• 2:05Hannah Berner?

  Getting around shouldn't require so much mental energy. And if this sounds like your ideal way to get around too, download the Waymo app and use code GIGLY to get 20% off your next two rides. You could check out the full terms in the app.

• 2:17Paige DeSorbo?

  We love a discount.

• 2:18Hannah Berner?

  And if Waymo isn't in your city yet, head to waymo.com/gigly to sign up and help bring Waymo to you.

• 2:23Paige DeSorbo?

  This episode is sponsored by the new Hershey's Creme Bars in Salted Caramel and Afegato. Lately, I've been realizing that luxury doesn't have to mean some huge splurge. Sometimes it's just taking a few minutes to yourself during a busy day. I have one of these moments, oh, I don't know, every day around 2 o'clock. Whether that's making a pick-me-up coffee or maybe I just need to scroll for a little bit on the couch. That's why I'm actually so excited about the new Hershey's Salted Caramel and Afegato Creme Bars available now. I absolutely love a treat-yourself moment in the middle of the day and this is a classic Hershey's Milk Chocolate layered with a Salted Caramel or Afegato Creme filling.

• 3:05Paige DeSorbo?

  So, it feels a little elevated while still being your favorite Hershey's chocolate. Pick up the new Hershey's Creme Bars in Salted Caramel or Afegato wherever you shop for snacks and choose happiness with every bite.

• 3:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Sup, gigglers?

• 3:21Speaker 02

  Carrie, fix the wifi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

• 3:29Speaker 02

  I mean, the day just got away from me.

• 3:33Hannah Berner?

  Hello, my guava gigglers. Good news, it's a morning pod. So shit's about to go down.

• 3:41Hannah Berner?

  Are you texting?

• 3:44Hannah Berner?

  By the way, she's been yelling at me all morning. She's like, "I want to record a Hannah." She literally wrote to the group text, "Hannah." Like, you yelled at me in the group, "Hannah." It was 10:01. She went, "Hannah." And now you're texting when we start.

• 3:59Paige DeSorbo?

  I just don't know what's going on.

• 4:01Hannah Berner?

  Oh, yeah, you do have a photo shoot tonight.

• 4:03Paige DeSorbo?

  And I took a red eye on Saturday night. So, like, I'm, I'm messed. I'll never recover until next weekend.

• 4:09Hannah Berner?

  If I do a red eye, I'm out for the month.

• 4:11Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I literally, can I tell you? I haven't had a, no, I can't say that because I just got back from Newport.

• 4:18Hannah Berner?

  I know, but you've been going too hard and I know I've been worried about you and I've been, I'm, I'm your only real friend.

• 4:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, you are.

• 4:24Hannah Berner?

  I'm the only one who's been bringing it up to you. Everyone else is yes people around you.

• 4:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Guys, everyone's like, "Yeah, add another day, add another day." Hannah's like, "Take a nap." I'm like, she's the only one that cares about me.

• 4:34Hannah Berner?

  I'm the only one because I know, like, you love glam, but too many consecutive days of glam is not good for your pores.

• 4:39Paige DeSorbo?

  No, and then I'm so excited to get microneedling on Saturday. I accidentally get, Hannah FaceTimes me yesterday to bring up something serious. I go, "I'm kind of dealing with a lot already. What do you want to say to me?"

• 4:54Hannah Berner?

  I love how we tell stories to the gigglers, like, we're at dinner and there's a friend. I'm like, "Tell them about, tell them about." No, I'm so excited to FaceTime you on a Sunday, like, that's the best time to FaceTime. And you're in a mood.

• 5:07Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm in such a mood.

• 5:08Hannah Berner?

  Nose is red and you go, "I can't even think right now? I can't riff with you?"

• 5:14Paige DeSorbo?

  I couldn't even riff.

• 5:15Hannah Berner?

  You couldn't riff? That's how I knew it was bad. You couldn't riff.

• 5:19Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 5:19Hannah Berner?

  But then I warmed you up and you were fine, but at first you had that, like, when a kid falls and looks at you like.

• 5:26Paige DeSorbo?

  What's my next move?

• 5:28Hannah Berner?

  You're like, "Should I cry?"

• 5:31Hannah Berner?

  And I'm like, "It's okay, it's okay, it's okay."

• 5:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Because there's certain things about my personality that are, that I can count on no matter what. And it's like, I never lose things, I'm always on time. Like, so when one of those things goes awry.

• 5:48Hannah Berner?

  What is that life like? You never lose things. I've never found anything.

• 5:54Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, my dad called me the other day because he's, I have his personality, which like, I just, I can't believe it. He calls me the other day, he's like, "You're never gonna guess I frickin' lost something." I go, "Come on."

• 6:10Paige DeSorbo?

  I go, "Come on, Dad." He goes, "I know, and you're the only person that gets as upset as I do." I go, "I can't have that. You gotta find it."

• 6:20Hannah Berner?

  That's like when my mom or dad's, like, take the wrong direction somewhere because they're my directional Sherpas.

• 6:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 6:26Hannah Berner?

  So, when they take a wrong turn, I'm like, "I'm, what am I supposed to do now?"

• 6:31Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, "Well, I don't know." Okay, so Saturday, first of all, I was in Newport. The Southern California girls, were you going to tell the rest of the country that you're living like that? Like, it's not a real place. It's like, whatever. So, I'm like out and about, like, walking around, seeing the sights. I put sunscreen on and then I get back to the hotel and I'm like, "I have a sunburn." And like, how could I have possibly gotten a sunburn? I, I prepare for things like this. So, anyway, I'm like, "Maybe it'll get better." So, I like, I'm doing all my FaceMasks, I'm getting aloe gel and putting it on. I'm like, "I have to get microneedling on Tuesday. They're not going to let me get it." Sure enough, I text the girl and I'm like, "I have a little sunburn." And she goes, "I'll see you in two weeks." Like, we can't do this. And I waited all summer to get my last microneedling.

• 7:14Hannah Berner?

  I'm crazy, we're doing a callback only three minutes in, but good. You have too many yes people in your life. Someone needs to say no to you.

• 7:23Paige DeSorbo?

  No, and where I go to get my microneedling, they just text me, which is just like nice. Like, don't send me an email and it's getting lost in the abyss. So, I text her and I'm like, "Hey, I'm having an emergency. I have a sunburn." She was like, "Yeah, it's best if we do it in like a week or two."

• 7:37Hannah Berner?

  Well, that's why I haven't done it because I'm, I'm playing paddle. I'm playing tennis. I'm going on mental health walks.

• 7:43Paige DeSorbo?

  There's a lot of people I don't listen to in the world. A plastic surgeon is, I'm listening to her. If she says, "No, let's wait, it could damage your skin," I'm waiting.

• 7:53Hannah Berner?

  Um, one thing that I don't think people know is that I have my own friendship.

• 7:59Paige DeSorbo?

  With who?

• 7:59Hannah Berner?

  With your boyfriend.

• 8:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh. Is that a friendship or is it like a?

• 8:03Hannah Berner?

  We're best friends.

• 8:06Hannah Berner?

  It's basically all the sides that you don't have that I'm like, we connect.

• 8:12Paige DeSorbo?

  I've become a full person when he's around that like you're interested in.

• 8:16Hannah Berner?

  No, we bond in the way you should. We bond over that we both are obsessed with you. So, he will text me things about you that he knows will make me laugh. So, last night.

• 8:29Paige DeSorbo?

  I was so fucked up.

• 8:31Hannah Berner?

  11:00 PM. He goes, "Paige is up for a midnight snack." Um, I can hear the ruffles in the kitchen.

• 8:39Hannah Berner?

  Well, okay, you can now speak your truth. Were you scurrying around in the kitchen?

• 8:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, you're interested in what my midnight snack situation is?

• 8:47Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 8:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes, okay, you've come to the right home.

• 8:50Hannah Berner?

  Come on, Martha Stewart, tell us what you were doing.

• 8:53Paige DeSorbo?

  First of all, I, my parents called me Sunday morning, like, when I get home from the red eye. And I was like, "Oh, my God, I'm so happy." Like, my flight landed because I'm making buffalo chicken wing dip today in my crock pot. My dad called me trash.

• 9:11Hannah Berner?

  Oh, so if we still had Facebook, that would have been your Facebook status. Making buffalo chicken dip today.

• 9:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Absolutely.

• 9:19Hannah Berner?

  That was your old personality yesterday.

• 9:22Paige DeSorbo?

  My dad was like, "You're trash."

• 9:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Well Italians are like make a bolognese.

• 9:30Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, make it's Sunday sauce.

• 9:32Paige DeSorbo?

  He actually said that to me. He goes Buffalo chicken wing dip. Your mother's over here making a bolognese. What the hell are you doing over there? So whatever, I was shamed into my Buffalo chicken wing dip. Then I made cupcakes.

• 9:46Hannah Berner?

  You made sprinkle cupcakes. You made aesthetic cupcakes.

• 9:50Paige DeSorbo?

  And then I didn't really eat because I filled up on Buffalo chicken wing dip. So at like 11pm, I was like, oh, I have a hankering for some like carbs. So my midnight snack is usually one of three things. Quesadilla in the microwave. Always a banger.

• 10:08Hannah Berner?

  Whoa, you're starting hard.

• 10:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Quesadilla in the microwave. I had sour cream and salsa. So it's basically like, you're like, uh, what?

• 10:17Hannah Berner?

  Fucking mushroom and star.

• 10:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Like this is what I waited to be an adult for. Toast with butter and jelly. And I had some like Italian hard rolls. So that was really up there. Those were the two contenders. And then my third is always my fallback cereal. Last night I chose to have a quesadilla in the microwave. With a ginger ale.

• 10:39Hannah Berner?

  Oh my god.

• 10:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Love.

• 10:42Hannah Berner?

  That reminds me, at University of Wisconsin, we, go Badgers. We took wheat thins. So it's already like sweet and like heavy. And then we take cheese curds, which is like a Wisconsin thing.

• 10:57Paige DeSorbo?

  How did you not choke?

• 10:59Hannah Berner?

  Well, then you melt it over the wheat thins. And it was the most like, oh my god.

• 11:05Paige DeSorbo?

  It was like nachos for a college kid.

• 11:07Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, it was like nachos, Midwest nachos. It was so good. Um, also not to, we know this is a comedy pod. We want to forget about all the horrible things of reality, but we just have to, we just have to say, um, fuck the Cornell seven.

• 11:23Paige DeSorbo?

  The fact that you can see the text message, like, and read the text message is so bone, it's actually bone chilling. Like it's

• 11:33Hannah Berner?

  And the casualness of like, this wasn't the first time.

• 11:38Paige DeSorbo?

  This is what I mean when I talk about like Gen Z, which I think they're younger than Gen Z. But like, when I say, I, when I say Gen Z, I mean, everyone younger than me. But whatever age they are, this is what I mean when I, when I'm talking about the younger boys are seeing so much online. That's like so.

• 11:59Hannah Berner?

  I saw a tweet that was, again, bone chilling, that like people care more about these men's futures than this current girl's life.

• 12:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Right? Like women are expected to like, live with trauma, but men are not like, live with the trauma that they caused her. But men are not expected to like have an inconvenience in their like future.

• 12:23Hannah Berner?

  Also, I would argue that we should stunt their future because I don't want these creepy, sick dudes to then be in places of power and making decisions and inflicting it on more women. Like, it's the kind of thing where there's a reason people should get in trouble when they do something wrong. And then you wonder like, how did this even happen that someone was like, oh, these guys should just write an essay because they, they clearly were confused and need to write it out. It was just four old white dudes sitting in a room being like, well, we, seven men's lives we can't affect. What if I told you that that's what these men need?

• 13:04Hannah Berner?

  Like, this is unsafe for them to just run free. Now they realize there's no repercussions.

• 13:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, I can't wait for you to have a daughter to realize that women are humans. Here's the other thing, like, they were in college, which that's young as fuck. College is young as fuck. Where the hell did you learn that? In the like four years that you were on earth before you went to college, like, when was that in your brain that like, if a girl has passed out, you could just sleep with her? And then tell your friends?

• 13:37Hannah Berner?

  Someone also told me at a very young age that like, and trigger warning, I'm gonna use the word, rape is violence. It's, it's a crime. Like the fact that they're, they're 19, 20 and like, no one was in jail. Like, it's, it's assault.

• 13:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 13:56Hannah Berner?

  I also feel like, like when my little cousin told me she was going to college, I immediately felt scared for her. So I'm looking at her and she's been in her parents' house and being taken care of. And I know for a fact, there's a very high percent chance that when she leaves to college, something bad's gonna happen. And I also want to add to it. And it's this situation as well. It's mostly someone you know. This was a guy friend that she texted. In situations I've had in college, it's, it's a friend group. It's not a, oh, um, someone kidnapped me in a corner and attacked me.

• 14:39Hannah Berner?

  No, these are people that you think you trust, that then take advantage of you and then are like, whoopsie, miscommunication.

• 14:46Paige DeSorbo?

  It's disgusting. It's like, I feel so bad for her. She left school. Like, I, I can't even imagine. I think one of the scariest part too is that because it was in like a group chat, there wasn't one guy that texted back and was like, dude, what? Like, what the fuck are you talking about?

• 15:07Hannah Berner?

  I also would argue, it's kind of weird to say like, you have to educate your sons not to take advantage of women. Like, shouldn't that be innate? Like, as good people, you don't do that? That's like, don't punch kittens. Educate them. Don't punch a kitten. No shit, I'm not gonna punch a kitten.

• 15:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Right. I hate to reduce it to that, but it's like, okay, kids, you inherently know you don't kill animals. So why would you think you could go to college and just like assault a girl?

• 15:38Hannah Berner?

  But that's why it's good people are speaking up now because I hope there's tons of boys and men having this conversation. There is something about like feminism is not being like, fuck all the men. Feminism is hating misogyny.

• 15:53Paige DeSorbo?

  I saw a quote that was really good and it was like, and it said, feminists are women who hate what men have done to them. And men who hate feminists hate women for what women haven't done for them.

• 16:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, I don't hate men. I, I hate what men can do.

• 16:13Hannah Berner?

  And real men are feminists?

• 16:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, real men don't get offended when you're like, I hate all men. Like, they're like, yeah, you hate like loser guys. I'm like, yes.

• 16:24Hannah Berner?

  So anyway.

• 16:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry, Kitty just put her paw up to me. Like, when you don't see your cat's body and you just see a paw, it's like to coming toward you. It's, I can't explain that feeling.

• 16:37Hannah Berner?

  Anyway, no smooth transition, but um, I watched the VMAs. Did you?

• 16:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Sundays have become my day where like I

• 16:45Hannah Berner?

  Can I have a day?

• 16:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Can I have a day? Sundays have become my day where I'm like really not watching TV and not on my phone because I'm knee deep in a crock pot. And yesterday, getting off a red eye, I had a very extensive girl shower and girl day. So I did miss the VMAs, but I saw like some stuff of the dresses online.

• 17:04Hannah Berner?

  What were your thoughts?

• 17:06Paige DeSorbo?

  The VMAs is like, I don't like consider it like a real carpet because you can show up in like a balloon if you wanted to.

• 17:13Hannah Berner?

  But it is like music, like it gets, they're more like characters.

• 17:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I see it as like a fun, like, the theme is whatever you want it to be. And then it's like how they

• 17:23Hannah Berner?

  Express yourself.

• 17:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, so I see it as like fun. I thought Taylor Swift looked very good.

• 17:28Hannah Berner?

  I did too.

• 17:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Now, as someone who's not a Swiftie, like I haven't listened to any of the songs. Have you listened?

• 17:36Hannah Berner?

  Um, yes, I have.

• 17:37Paige DeSorbo?

  As someone who's not a Swiftie, who doesn't like go ten toes down for her for like everything she does, because I don't see everything she does. I think I can also be objective when people are hating her.

• 17:50Hannah Berner?

  Because you're like, I don't have skin in the game.

• 17:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I don't have skin in the game, but now then like, when people are mean to her, then I, then I feel bad for her. So I was happy that she looked as good as she did at the VMAs because I know she's been getting a lot of hate.

• 18:02Hannah Berner?

  I also, she did say something at the VMAs where she just was like, I love creating. And I think I feel the same way. And when you're so mean to someone, they stop creating. So part of me is like, hey, not everything's gonna be like what you envisioned she was gonna do. But like, you don't have to every time she does something, then be like, she's gone, we lost her.

• 18:26Hannah Berner?

  And she sucks now. Like, that's why people go crazy where it's like, you're only as good as like

• 18:30Paige DeSorbo?

  The last thing you do.

• 18:31Hannah Berner?

  Your last podcast. Like, imagine we put out like, a horrible last episode and people were like, they're done. I'm like, look, Paige had a UTI. I'm dealing with my

• 18:41Paige DeSorbo?

  You deal with different things at different times. Right, and her putting out a bad song doesn't negate all the other good ones. Like, it's not like you'd forget about them.

• 18:50Hannah Berner?

  It is kind of fun to be like, oh, like, now she's in love and she's writing about, people love all the theories. Oh, she's writing something that Travis understands. Like, people are trying to, like, connect it up on that.

• 19:02Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm actually shocked she even came out with music. I thought for sure

• 19:06Hannah Berner?

  No, I know, she disappeared.

• 19:06Paige DeSorbo?

  She was pulling an Anne Hathaway. Yeah, and just disappearing.

• 19:09Hannah Berner?

  I thought she would disappear, but that's why I'm like, let her cook, like, let her create. I do think award shows, and granted, look, well, this is my thing with, like, awards lists. When I get it, I'm like, I can't take this seriously. Like, if I'm on a list, I'm like, this is a made up list. But then, like, if you see other people on lists, you're like, that's great for, like, that's amazing. But as I get older, I realize, like, everything's made up. Awards are made up. Also, the, the voting of VMAs, I guess, is like fandom.

• 19:40Paige DeSorbo?

  It is?

• 19:41Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, like, the fans vote.

• 19:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, yeah. Actually, I think I knew that.

• 19:45Hannah Berner?

  But like, I feel like there's some, I feel like there's weird stuff going on.

• 19:50Paige DeSorbo?

  It's the same way I feel for any competition show. I'm like, guys, maybe the fans did vote, but if we're talking, if we're talking TV ratings, there's a producer somewhere in that. Like, people get really upset.

• 20:07Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 20:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Thinking, like, things aren't a hundred percent real.

• 20:10Hannah Berner?

  Also, like, I've never voted for a VMA.

• 20:12Paige DeSorbo?

  I've never even seen where you could vote.

• 20:14Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 20:16Paige DeSorbo?

  I, I didn't even know the VMAs were happening. Like, usually, there's like a bunch of commercials, there's like pro- promotion. I didn't even, Snoop Dogg hosted. Who knew?

• 20:25Hannah Berner?

  So, you know, they went from a football game, straight into the VMAs. So, like, honestly, like, Taylor is kind of like, the ecosystem of all of this stuff. Like, and like, during the Chiefs game, they were, they're like, look, all we have to do is do one commercial during the Chiefs game, that Taylor Swift is dropping her new music video at the VMAs, which is coming up next. So, everyone was like, okay. And Dakota Johnson was in the video. It, the video is Patient Zero, which actually, like, I feel like everyone can relate to the concept of Patient Zero, which is, you ever date a guy and he ruins your life?

• 21:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Totally.

• 21:01Hannah Berner?

  And when I say ruin your life, I mean, like, you're like, oh, I can't eat, I can't sleep, this, oh, that's, oh, that's abuse. And then, he's on to the next girl. And for a second, you think, like, oh, but he's gonna treat her differently? And then, you realize, oh, he's, hasn't done any work on himself, he's the same thing. And then, I've seen a girl, like, date a guy I dated, and like, she started losing weight, and I was just, all I wanted to do was hold her and be like, you're not crazy.

• 21:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 21:32Hannah Berner?

  You're not, stop making yourself smaller. Like, you're, actually, your whole life is after this relationship. But like, because I was patient, I probably wasn't the first one.

• 21:42Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 21:42Hannah Berner?

  But I was one of the patients.

• 21:42Paige DeSorbo?

  I saw a girl, and, one time, and I look, we saw each other from across the room, and we had never met. And I'm not kidding, it was like biblical, the way we locked eyes, because we locked eyes across the room, and in my head, I said, you're not crazy. And like, then we started coming toward each other, and I was like, the amount of times I've wanted to text you and be like, but I felt like I didn't want to get involved, and like, who am I to say anything? And she was like, Paige, I know, I, I see. Like, we just looked at each other and was like, I see you.

• 22:16Hannah Berner?

  There's been, like, these girls that dated a guy I dated, and I didn't really know them. And then, after they broke up, they started commenting on my photos, like, cutie, love you. And I was like, oh, that's how, that's literally, a full dissertation of her being like, I know exactly what you went through, he talks so bad about you. And at first, I was like, how, oh, and now I'm like, a hundred percent on your side.

• 22:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, can I tell you that I've even been on the other side, where I've been the new girlfriend? And I've, and I've broken up, and I've reached out to the old girlfriend, and I've been like, I'm so sorry that I ever took a man's word for, when in doubt, I'm gonna look to message you. Like, if you say some fucked up shit went on, do you, I, I wanna, I'm in the DMs, like, I'm in there with you. And so, this was like years, not that long after I'd broken up with him, but it was like eating me alive, and I was like, should I message her, should I message her?

• 23:24Paige DeSorbo?

  And then, finally, I was like, I'm so sorry that I ever believed a single thing he said over you. Like, you were right, he's insane. Like,

• 23:31Hannah Berner?

  That's why men do need Yelp reviews. Where like, granted, some of the reviews, you're like, okay, one star, she was overreacting. But like, if there's enough one stars, there's, if there's smoke, there's fire.

• 23:43Paige DeSorbo?

  And if you're a woman and you feel compelled enough to come into my DMs and tell me about a man, I'm gonna, I'm listening. Like, I'm typing back. I don't think you're like there to attack me, because I've been that girl where I'm like, no, someone's gotta tell her.

• 23:59Hannah Berner?

  Well, especially because like, these guys tend to be like handsome and tall. So, it's like, they see him in like a mask coming towards you, and they're like, you don't see it because it looks fucking charming in the beginning.

• 24:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 24:13Paige DeSorbo?

  We are busy people. Making one doctor's appointment is hard enough without adding separate lab visits, referrals, follow-ups, weeks of waiting. Meanwhile, TikTok has convinced us we have five different deficiencies, we need all these new supplements every week. That's why we're excited about Superpower. If there was ever a health membership made for gigglers, Superpower would be it. Superpower brings your testing results, health history, and personalized recommendations together, all in one place. Taking control of your health without completely disrupting your day? Women in STEM. Your membership includes one hundred and fifty plus biomarkers every year across two tests, a baseline test, and a progress check,

• 24:55Paige DeSorbo?

  compared to the ten to fifteen a typical annual physical checks. You get a deeper look at things and usually overlooked, like your hormones, fertility, stress levels, thyroid, metabolism, nutrient levels. Maybe Superpower is what can actually give me answers on why I'd rather be in bed than anywhere else. And instead of getting a bunch of random numbers back and becoming your own doctor, Superpower helps you understand your results and gives you a personalized plan that is designed around you and your unique needs. Superpower can literally say, hey, you haven't been sleeping well for the past four nights, your cortisol level is elevated, and your iron is low, and your family history gives us another reason to pay attention. Take control of your health with Superpower.

• 25:39Paige DeSorbo?

  For a limited time, our listeners get fifty dollars off their Superpower membership, so head over to superpower.com/giggly for fifty dollars off. And after you sign up, they'll ask how you heard about Superpower. Tell them Giggly Squad sent you and support our show.

• 25:54Hannah Berner?

  Gigglers, the holidays are coming, and Arm and Hammer Hardball Cat Litter and I are making sure all my fellow cat parents are guest-ready. You guys know I'm obsessed with cats, I'm a cat missionary, and make sure everyone in my life has a cat, and I'm doing really well at it. I foster, and I'm constantly trying to help cats find homes. And around the holidays, I basically want everyone I know to fall in love with a cat and take one home. But the holidays, you guys are hosting, you have your cat, and you have such a to-do list, you know? Hiding things in closets, pretending you're clean, pulling out the snacks. One thing I do not need to add to that list is worrying about cat smell. Arm and Hammer Hardball Cat Litter keeps odors under control and forms compact clumps that make cleanup easy, so that part is already handled in the background.

• 26:37Hannah Berner?

  So then, I can focus on my guests and maybe convince one of them they need a cat. For all my fellow cat parents, be guest-ready with Arm and Hammer Hardball Cat Litter. Find it now at Walmart or Amazon. One thing about me, I love a protein bar. I'm not going out into the world without my emergency protein bar. It saved me in so many situations, I can't even tell you. But when I'm eating a protein bar, it can't taste like I'm being punished, you know, for trying to eat healthy.

• 27:03Paige DeSorbo?

  That's why I'm obsessed with Stars and Honey. They basically looked at protein bars and said, hmm, why are we choosing between something that supports our goals and something we actually want to eat? Each bar has fifteen grams of protein and only four grams of sugar, but the flavors are giving dessert, honey. Iced lemon cookie, mint chocolate chip, red velvet peanut butter mousse? Hello? Who even knew peanut butter could be a mousse?

• 27:27Hannah Berner?

  Because the best habits are the ones you can actually stick to. And consistency is a lot easier when your better-for-you snack is actually something you crave. Their standard is literally, would you still want to eat it if it weren't a protein bar? And that's the energy I need.

• 27:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Stars and Honey Protein Bars are now available at starsandhoney.com or Target stores nationwide. Order online or grab a box on your next Target run. I've always wanted to be more consistent with strength training, but my biggest problem is getting to the gym and thinking, okay, now what? I'll do a few exercises, I remember, maybe a pull-up, something I saved on Instagram, but there's never really any planning behind it. That's what I've been loving about the Ladder app. I open it, and my workout is already planned for me by an expert coach. I know exactly what exercises I'm doing, how many sets, how many reps, and the in-ear coaching gives me cues and motivation throughout the workout. It genuinely feels like having a personal trainer in my headphones. I love using this whenever I'm in hotels.

• 28:25Paige DeSorbo?

  I've been using it for a while now, and I see and also feel myself getting stronger each day because of Ladder. I have also been eyeing their Pilates workout routines for a little while now, so that will definitely be in my next workout venture. And for less than one dollar a day, you can't beat it. And I love that Ladder remembers my weights, reps, and sets, because I can actually see my progress, instead of wondering whether what I'm doing is working. Plus, you can get a new plan every week that builds on the last. Remove the guesswork with Ladder and get a real coach in your ear telling you exactly what to do for every workout. No thinking, everything planned for you. And if you have an iPhone, head to ladder.fit/giggly and take a quick quiz to find your perfect ladder plan.

• 29:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Use my link and get a free seven-day trial with no credit card and ten dollars off your first month if you join. If your anxiety, depression, or ADHD are more often than just a rough patch, you might need more than just talk therapy or self-help tools. Talkiatory connects you with real psychiatric care so you can actually understand what's going on and get a treatment plan that works for you. Talkiatory is a 100% online psychiatric practice that provides comprehensive evaluations, diagnoses, and ongoing medication management for conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression, and more. Unlike therapy online platforms, Talkiatory is psychiatry. You're seeing a medical provider who can diagnose mental health conditions and prescribe medication when appropriate.

• 29:52Paige DeSorbo?

  You can meet with a licensed psychiatrist who takes the time to understand what's going on, builds a personalized treatment plan, and supports you over time with consistent, evidence-based care. And because you continue with the same provider, you're not starting over each visit. Your treatment can evolve with you, so you're actually making progress over time. And with more than 300,000 patients that have already found high-quality psychiatric care through Talkiatory, head to talkiatory.com/giggly to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. That's T-A-L-K-I-A-T-R-Y.com/giggly to get matched in minutes. Talkiatory.com/giggly.

• 30:35Hannah Berner?

  Speaking of crimes, can we talk about Donald Prima?

• 30:42Paige DeSorbo?

  I thought he was doing satire.

• 30:43Hannah Berner?

  People don't know the lore of us and Donald Prima.

• 30:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Donald is the head social media at Bravo, but the thing about Donald is Hannah, me and Donald all started at Bravo at the same exact time, so we're like in the same grade.

• 30:59Hannah Berner?

  I met Donald at a Sunday drag brunch.

• 31:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 31:04Hannah Berner?

  He was sitting next to me. He's like, "By the way, I just got hired at Bravo." And I'm like, "Oh, my God, same." We had the best time, and then from that moment on, we've been texting.

• 31:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Best days. But here's the thing, Donald is extremely professional. So like, in the thick of being at Bravo, there were times where I would want to like kiki about somebody else, and Donald like always kept it super professional.

• 31:27Hannah Berner?

  There's a reason he's had his job for so long, because also all the Bravo lebs love him. He's so fun to work with.

• 31:32Paige DeSorbo?

  So sweet. He's so nice. So anyways, he posted a video on TikTok and Instagram that he was in New York City. He was going into like, into a bank, into an ATM. You know how they have like the little ATM vestibule, like before you fully get into the bank?

• 31:48Hannah Berner?

  Which is so scary, by the way.

• 31:50Paige DeSorbo?

  But typically, there's a police officer in there, like a security guard. So he's getting cash out, and someone comes up behind him and says, "Give me your money." And he says he has like, it looks like he has a gun in his shirt, like pointing it to him. And Donald says, "No, thank you."

• 32:07Hannah Berner?

  Now, let me just say, this is the most New York shit I've ever heard. Like, you know when you're overstimulated and someone does something weird to you on the street in New York? And but like, you're a good person, like you're nice, and you don't want to be rude. You just go, "No, thank you." Like, "No, thank you. Thank you, but no, thank you." I've done that four billion times in New York, so the fact that he's getting robbed at gunpoint, and he's like, "No, thank you." Oh, does this bring you my charger?

• 32:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, that's sweet. "No, thank you."

• 32:35Hannah Berner?

  So the joke is that he was listening.

• 32:38Paige DeSorbo?

  To Giggly Squad.

• 32:39Hannah Berner?

  To Giggly Squad while this was happening, and you had a very funny comment.

• 32:42Paige DeSorbo?

  I said, "Imagine if the guy just heard you listening to us, and it was like us talking about nipple hair." And he was like...

• 32:49Hannah Berner?

  I kind of love that he was listening to Giggly Squad, because it's giving like, when people go to one of our live shows, and someone's like, "It's all just like hot, beautiful women. Like, a straight guy should just go." And I'm like, "These girls would stone a man after our live show." Like, you know, he was having no shit with these straight men pretending to shoot him.

• 33:08Paige DeSorbo?

  It's so Giggly Squad-coded to say "no, thank you," like when you're getting robbed, because it's like...

• 33:14Hannah Berner?

  He didn't just say "no, thank you," he said, "No, thank you."

• 33:18Paige DeSorbo?

  No, like, it's giving like, "Oh, my God, I didn't want to get up out of bed, and now I'm here. Now you're really gonna do this to me."

• 33:24Hannah Berner?

  He's like, "I'm already overstimulated. I can't do this right now with you."

• 33:28Paige DeSorbo?

  After Donald said "no, thank you," the guy dropped his hand from his shirt, which that, no gun, which, to me, that encompasses what New York City is.

• 33:39Paige DeSorbo?

  If you hear anyone say like, "Oh, people in New York City are so mean, but at the end of the day, they're nice." Like, yeah, they'll tell you to get the fuck out of the way, but if you fell in the street, like, they're helping you. New York City is also like quite practical. So that robber was like, "Yeah, and you called my bluff, and so I'm gonna give you, like, I'm gonna take the L on that, and I'm gonna give you your flowers." Like, yeah, you, you won that one.

• 34:05Hannah Berner?

  And I'm like, "New Yorkers are so nice. The gunman didn't really shoot him."

• 34:09Paige DeSorbo?

  He was like...

• 34:10Hannah Berner?

  "Thank God, he's okay," but it is funny, it is a numbers game, so this guy's like, "I'm just gonna wait for the next person."

• 34:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Right, who's gonna give it to me?

• 34:18Hannah Berner?

  But it reminds me, and I've talked to the Gigglers about this before, when you're like scared, try to look confident. Oh, we're getting a... Why is she looking directly at the camera? Is she just on her back right now?

• 34:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 34:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Just like in my lap.

• 34:36Hannah Berner?

  That's an angel.

• 34:37Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it's, "That is it. Yo, daddy's the sweetest little girl." Okay, I have a Daphne photo shoot today, and this is the first time Daphne's not coming, because we have a different cast.

• 34:45Hannah Berner?

  Oh, so that's why she's overcompensating right now. She's like, "Am I losing my, am I not an it girl right now?" She's like, "I was so hot, and I was so the girl of the moment."

• 34:56Paige DeSorbo?

  She's like, "I'm the CEO. I'm in charge. Who's this black cat?"

• 35:00Hannah Berner?

  Thank goodness Donald Prima is okay, but then he just said he started listening to Giggly Squad again and continuing about his day.

• 35:06Paige DeSorbo?

  A bounce backstory. One thing I'd like to bring up for the fall is I, I'm going to be wearing a lot of low ponytails this fall, I've decided.

• 35:17Hannah Berner?

  A la Paul Revere?

• 35:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Um, I just feel like with my bangs, you can't visualize it right now, so don't feel as though you need to. With my bangs, I'm gonna start just doing a lot more like, things that's like, look like here, and like a knot, and like just low ponies and then bangs.

• 35:35Hannah Berner?

  Like a ribbon?

• 35:36Paige DeSorbo?

  I might throw a ribbon in there.

• 35:38Hannah Berner?

  Because I did one of that for Sports Illustrated, and I really loved it. The problem is, if you don't get the pony in the photo, I don't have the bone structure to pull that off.

• 35:48Paige DeSorbo?

  I understand what you're saying.

• 35:49Hannah Berner?

  But when you do get the pony in the back, you're like, "That's Ella Enchanted."

• 35:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, yeah, it has to be long enough that if, at a certain time, you need to bring it to the side, you can.

• 35:59Hannah Berner?

  It can, yeah.

• 36:00Paige DeSorbo?

  But here's my thing, I'm not a braid person, and I feel like I'm seeing a lot of girls doing like a low braid. I just could never get into a braid. I think there's a time and a place for a braid.

• 36:12Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 36:12Paige DeSorbo?

  And it's like, "Not me, not now." Like, anytime anyone was going to prom and they were doing braids...

• 36:18Hannah Berner?

  There is a specific girl who pulled off the French braid, and it was very specific type of girl.

• 36:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Very specific type of girl. Very specific setting. That setting, that was only from 11 to noon on Thursday in chemistry class as a junior in high school. That girl, I never saw her again. She could have lived in that room. Like, that girl could do a French braid.

• 36:44Hannah Berner?

  I, um...

• 36:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait.

• 36:46Hannah Berner?

  What?

• 36:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry, speaking of continuing on the hair journey, Ken Yuric made an entire video on TikTok about how she's always wanted a pixie cut, and someone said, "Start with a bixy cut," which is like a bob pixie, which I sent you all of that inspo. And she was just talking about how like, if you don't have a phase where you want a pixie, you're not that girl. Like, only that girl can genuinely sit down and think like, "Do I want a pixie?"

• 37:14Hannah Berner?

  Wait, is Ken helping my campaign?

• 37:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, I was like, "You know what? She's pointing out so many things." Because it's like, "Yeah, if you got a pixie, like, that's it. That's your outfit." And that's how I would feel about my bob. Like, I would worry less about my outfit, because I was like, "I have a bob."

• 37:29Hannah Berner?

  People to this day, when they think of you, just think, like, Paige is a bob.

• 37:33Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, "I'm already 10 steps ahead of these bitches. I'm in a blunt bob right now."

• 37:38Hannah Berner?

  You've had long hair for five years, and people are like, "Wow, your hair's so long." Like, it was generational.

• 37:45Paige DeSorbo?

  It was generational. So anyway, that made me feel good. I don't feel as though it's my time yet, but, but she's coming.

• 37:54Hannah Berner?

  It could be 10 years, it could be 20. I don't know, I just, at one point in your life, I think it's, it's worth it. Like, I also, this is me, I wanted to put my hair up in like a claw clip. When I walk, I walk heavy. You know that. I'm slapping. I'm slapping the ground. I was going for a walk, and it was kind of hot out, so I wanted to put my hair up in a claw clip.

• 38:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep.

• 38:16Hannah Berner?

  Five steps in, it's falling apart.

• 38:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 38:18Hannah Berner?

  Like, it's...

• 38:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Claw clips are not all created equal.

• 38:22Hannah Berner?

  You're right.

• 38:22Paige DeSorbo?

  And they're really not.

• 38:23Hannah Berner?

  I think it was just like a cheap one.

• 38:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Because it's not like you have like unmanageable hair. If I can do it, you should be able to do it.

• 38:31Hannah Berner?

  Because mine was just slipping through the cracks, and then, you know when you put it in wrong, and then it's like you have one crazy spike, like you walk around like alfalfa? Anyway, I tried one day to be a claw clip casual girl, and it was, it was chaos.

• 38:44Paige DeSorbo?

  I hate to put you on the spot, and I hate to do a visual thing while we're on the pod, but...

• 38:48Hannah Berner?

  Your two favorite things to do. Continue.

• 38:52Hannah Berner?

  Your two only hobbies, continue.

• 38:54Paige DeSorbo?

  But you, do you think you could give us, just because I'm so interested in this. Could you give us a quick demonstration without the clip of how you're putting it up?

• 39:03Hannah Berner?

  Oh, oh, I would love to.

• 39:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 39:07Hannah Berner?

  So I kind of just twist it and go like that.

• 39:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 39:12Hannah Berner?

  And then I like put it, but then yeah, see I look like El Fafa.

• 39:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, so you're not doing anything like insane?

• 39:19Hannah Berner?

  No, no, it just isn't, it's not meant for me.

• 39:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 39:24Hannah Berner?

  So I saw Genevieve last week.

• 39:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Who the hell is Genevieve?

• 39:30Hannah Berner?

  My unborn daughter, the cat that I want to adopt, that my husband's not letting me because, for like logical reasons.

• 39:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 39:37Hannah Berner?

  So I've been volunteering, so I went in and I'm like, look, I'm here to see all the cats, I love all the cats. And I'm like, if I'm meant to be with Genevieve, she'll like come to me. So obviously immediately Genevieve's at my foot like, hi mom.

• 39:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 39:52Hannah Berner?

  And I'm like, Genevieve, I feel like I had a crush where I'm like, don't.

• 39:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 39:56Hannah Berner?

  And then she's right there.

• 39:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Cause she's acting different than the other cats, like, like obviously different.

• 40:03Hannah Berner?

  Not obviously, but like she, we have a connection.

• 40:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 40:06Hannah Berner?

  Like she loves me, she also looks just like Butter. So anyway, I'm petting her, I'm petting her. And then you know when you're petting a cat and they're purring and you're like, we're in a like, like we're, we're simpatico, like we're breathing the same, like I'm holding her, like it's.

• 40:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Symbiosis.

• 40:22Hannah Berner?

  It's symbiosis where I'm like, the world is invisible, it's just me and Genevieve. And then she starts like, well, I'm kissing her, her head's like in my mouth. And then at one point she starts like licking my eye and I'm like, I hope I'm not gonna like get a disease. Cause you know, these are, this cat was found, you know?

• 40:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, kitty longs to be a street cat.

• 40:43Hannah Berner?

  No, she does.

• 40:44Paige DeSorbo?

  But Genevieve is a true street cat.

• 40:47Hannah Berner?

  Was found under a ditch somewhere.

• 40:49Paige DeSorbo?

  The way kitty, my kitty looks out the window, it's like, it'll, it's never gonna be you babe, it's never gonna be you babe.

• 40:55Hannah Berner?

  You'll turn, she would go outside and be like, it's hot, it's windy and come back in. So Genevieve, we're just like obsessed with each other and then I'm, I'm loving all the other cats too, they're all amazing. Then the vet comes in like an hour later and she's like, how are the cats doing? I'm like, this one has a little like cough and like this one has something on its eye. And then I'm like, I'm obsessed with Genevieve. And she picks up Genevieve and she goes, oh, like what? And she goes, looks like she has ringworm.

• 41:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my god. Hannah, that's like a low key, one of my, my biggest fears is getting ringworm.

• 41:28Hannah Berner?

  I go, that's crazy because she was licking my eye.

• 41:34Hannah Berner?

  And I also put her head in my mouth. Like I, I'm like, I, I could not explain how connected we were for at least an hour. And she was like, don't worry, like if you, if you get some ringworm, we'll put something on it. But she was like, go home, don't pet your cat and just like jump in the shower. So I got home, I told Des, I'm like, we have to, we have to adopt Genevieve. She also did give me ringworm.

• 41:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Is ringworm that contagious that like, also wait, was she, does that mean she was shitting worms?

• 42:07Hannah Berner?

  No, no, no, ring, she, I don't know what it is, but it's not as, like she had something on her eye that was just like, it's not.

• 42:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 42:14Hannah Berner?

  It's not as intense as it sounds, it's a horrible name. But um, what are the chances of the one cat that I was fully rolling around with?

• 42:23Paige DeSorbo?

  I mean, that's who you.

• 42:24Hannah Berner?

  So shout out to Genevieve, even though Des says I can't adopt her.

• 42:28Paige DeSorbo?

  You can't, I just, and I am so for multiple cats, but Butter would literally feel.

• 42:36Hannah Berner?

  I know, and I would never want to do that to Butter, but then deep down, I'm like, what if Butter becomes a different cat? And she's like, she, like Genevieve brings something out of her where Butter's like.

• 42:47Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, I didn't think of that.

• 42:48Hannah Berner?

  I love people now.

• 42:51Paige DeSorbo?

  You, you know what? You, you need to get the pet psychic.

• 42:54Hannah Berner?

  You're so right. Actually, if a pet psychic was like Genevieve's meant for other things, I would let it go.

• 43:00Paige DeSorbo?

  But there's also a world where she could be like, Butter actually would live the rest of her life so happy, having like a little, she wouldn't think she would be in the beginning, but then like having a little kitty would change her life.

• 43:13Hannah Berner?

  I'm just envisioning me sitting Des down being like, okay, so the psychic said.

• 43:19Paige DeSorbo?

  There's a couple of things that we can't say to him and that's one of them.

• 43:23Hannah Berner?

  But you guys, this is the, we're whispering because we don't want him to hear. This is the craziest thing is he's psychic.

• 43:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 43:29Hannah Berner?

  So he'll be like, I don't believe in psychics. I'm like, that's crazy because you're a Scorpio psychic and I ask you for everything.

• 43:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Low key, I want like a psychic that listens to Giggly Squad to like DM me and see like, what do I need? What are the tools I need to become more psychic? Like how can I hone in on it?

• 43:44Hannah Berner?

  Hannah Paige trying new things, being psychic. It's just us looking at each other, trying to read each other's future.

• 43:51Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, how do I, but I feel like I always see those TikToks where it's like.

• 43:56Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, how to channel your.

• 43:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, and I'm like, I want to channel it.

• 43:59Hannah Berner?

  I have a friend who you know gets drunk and like reads everyone and she.

• 44:03Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I didn't know this.

• 44:04Hannah Berner?

  There are ways, there's like classes and stuff.

• 44:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, I don't want to go to a class.

• 44:09Hannah Berner?

  I know, because you have to be a student of.

• 44:12Paige DeSorbo?

  I want to be a student of it, but I want a private session.

• 44:16Hannah Berner?

  You're like, can it be an audiobook that I just listen to while I'm doing my skincare routine?

• 44:21Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I just want like one giggler psychic who could DM me and be like, just like do these couple of things and like over time it'll get stronger.

• 44:29Hannah Berner?

  This is the problem too, is I thought of what I would call Genevieve.

• 44:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, you're taking your name.

• 44:34Hannah Berner?

  It has to go with Butter. So I was, at first I was like Butter toast, no, I don't like toast. Butter, um, Parmesan. I'm like, she's not Parmesan, like she's like cuter than that. Then I heard someone call a cat pecan, Butter pecan. But then there's the drama of like, is it pecan or pecan or pecan? And I don't know if I want to be part of that like controversy every day.

• 45:02Paige DeSorbo?

  That narrative.

• 45:04Hannah Berner?

  Imagine every time she introduces herself, she's like, hi, I'm pecan. And they're like, you mean pecan?

• 45:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, and then like, God forbid there's a substitute teacher because then they'll be lost.

• 45:13Hannah Berner?

  But Butter and pecan?

• 45:16Paige DeSorbo?

  See, when you, even you want to do, when you say Butter, you want to say pecan, but if you're just talking about pecan on her own, she's pecan. But when she's with Butter, she's pecan.

• 45:30Hannah Berner?

  Butter and pecan, pecan, pecan, what are you doing? Take, take that out of your mouth.

• 45:35Paige DeSorbo?

  And then I feel like you have to give her a middle name because it's just like funny.

• 45:39Hannah Berner?

  Also, none of my cats' last name is Bishop. They're all Burner.

• 45:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, yeah, we're single moms.

• 45:47Hannah Berner?

  I just want to let people know in case anyone was like, it's not Butter Bishop Burner, even though it is really funny.

• 45:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Daphne actually doesn't even have a last name. She's kind of like Madonna. She's like, she's just Daphne.

• 45:58Hannah Berner?

  By the way, Madonna won every award last night. And you could tell she was tired. She's like, I have to get up again. She's like, I just came to perform.

• 46:05Paige DeSorbo?

  The only thing I saw was her being on stage with Sabrina Carpenter and basically being like, yeah, you like didn't respond to my team's email. Do you want to talk? It was giving Nicki Minaj, Miley Cyrus, like 2011 VMAs, like you had a lot to say in the media, what's up? Like.

• 46:26Hannah Berner?

  Wait, that was the good old days.

• 46:28Paige DeSorbo?

  No, that was like when we fought about like fun stuff.

• 46:31Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, but also it makes you mad, like, like if you were Sabrina, you're, are you not calling your team up and being like, hey, I pay you guys 30% or whatever they have in the music industry. And it's like, you can't respond to one email from Madonna?

• 46:45Paige DeSorbo?

  In defense of Gen Z, which I never do. Sabrina's Gen Z, right? Oh, she might be a millennial. Whatever.

• 46:53Hannah Berner?

  She's tiny.

• 46:54Paige DeSorbo?

  There's nuance. What if, what, what if she didn't want to do it?

• 47:00Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 47:01Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know. What if like, what if the, the initial ask was something like so weird, it was like some type of song, she was like, I don't want to do that song, like.

• 47:09Hannah Berner?

  No, for sure. I could see Madonna being just like, hey, let's record a song this week. And her team's like, uh, she's in Poland doing a tour.

• 47:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Doing a private bat mitzvah like for an oligarch, like she's literally, she has no self-service right now. Like, I don't know.

• 47:28Hannah Berner?

  No, there's definitely, and also five days in the entertainment industry, that's quick. You know how long it takes to make a movie?

• 47:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Quick.

• 47:36Hannah Berner?

  Madonna had to go on stage like four times. She's in her, like, she's 66 or something, and she's having to sit down, get up. I mean, I'm 35, my back would be out.

• 47:47Paige DeSorbo?

  That's why I love the Anne Hathaway business model. You work really hard for a couple of years, then you fuck off for 20, then you come back, you work really hard for a couple of years, and then you fuck off. I need a period of fucking off, you know? And so that's what I do when I do my Sundays are very important to me.

• 48:06Hannah Berner?

  But that's the thing, you can't wait for things to be off. You have to put the foot down.

• 48:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 48:13Hannah Berner?

  I mean, I've never done it.

• 48:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I get bored. Be off for two minutes, I'm like, I've got things to do, let's speed it up. You know those pieces in your closet that you find yourself reaching for over and over again? The sweater that somehow works with everything, the jeans you know will always fit just right, and the bag you carry everywhere. Those are the pieces that earn a permanent place in your wardrobe, and that's exactly what Quince does so well. Quince takes elevated everyday essentials using premium material like Mongolian cashmere, organic cotton, and premium stretch denim. The designs are timeless, thoughtfully crafted, and made to be worn again and again. Their 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters start at just $50, giving you the softness and quality you'd expect from a luxury brand without the luxury price

• 48:59Paige DeSorbo?

  tag. I have so many different sweaters from Quince because I love just throwing them over my shoulder, even in the summer, I think it's a chic look. Everything at Quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middleman, so you're paying for quality, not brand markup. Find the fall pieces you'll reach for the most at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to quince.com, get free shipping on your order, and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know that Giggly Squad sent you. It's the best way to support our show. Can we talk about the difference between a home that's furnished and a home that's

• 49:40Paige DeSorbo?

  intentional? Because if you're still living with a mattress on the floor at 25, that's crazy. And Cozy is here to help. Bed frames, sofas, rugs, shelves, tables, Cozy has everything, and it all comes in boxes directly to your door. Cozy furniture is modular, so the piece you buy for your current place can reconfigure to fit your next one. And you can always add as your space and taste evolves. You can swap covers when you want to change, and they go right in the wash whenever you spill something. If you have no clue where to start, they offer free one-on-one design consultations, so a real person can help you plan your space. No fees. So transform your living space today with Cozy. That's C-O-Z-E-Y.com. Make yourself at home.

• 50:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, autumn in New York is the season where we can finally start dressing again. Every single thing is an excuse to put on a look. Going to work? Outfit. Leading a meeting? Outfit. Getting drinks with your friends? Obviously outfit. And as we all know, every great outfit starts from the feet up. That is why I'm currently obsessed with Alli's from Sam Edelman. They're ballet flat, but a little something extra for fall. A contrasting velvet cap toe, I have them in this gorgeous azure blue, which is like a dusty muted blue that somehow goes with everything, even Daphne's eyes. They're so cute, and I'm already envisioning my next outfit. Straight leg jeans, an oversized blazer, and a little shoulder bag, very, I just threw this on when we all know I absolutely did not. And Hannah is

• 51:08Paige DeSorbo?

  loving hers too. She has the Michaela, which is the Sam Edelman's take on a Mary Jane, and this season it comes in the chicest leopard. So gorge, so easy, and exactly the kind of shoe that makes an otherwise basic outfit look like you actually tried. And there's so much more coming from Sam Edelman this fall beyond these two. Like the new Teigan and Tallulah pumps, plus ready-to-wear handbags, fragrances, and even a new men's collection. So basically, you can make sure both you and your man are looking good for date night, because we're not doing all that getting dressed just to let him show up in a t-shirt. Head to samedelman.com and get 15% off with code GIGGLY15.

• 51:45Hannah Berner?

  One thing about me is with the new season, I like to have a new personality. You never have to stick to one personality, and people don't talk about it enough.

• 51:52Paige DeSorbo?

  No, if I'm wearing a hat, I'm a different person. Okay? The weather totally changes how you feel, and it's obviously like getting a little cooler out, and I'm a different girl in a turtleneck.

• 52:06Hannah Berner?

  And part of rebranding is getting new clothes, and that's why I love Revolve. They have everything I need to be a completely new person that no one's ever met before, whether it's denim, such as an angled barrel jean. I'm so different when I'm wearing a barrel jean. People do respect me more.

• 52:23Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm a creative director of somewhere.

• 52:27Hannah Berner?

  Then boots with a little kitten heel or a high heel. When I'm wearing boots, I command a room.

• 52:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, and don't get me started on just like a really good dinner outfit. You get me a new blazer to go out to dinner, I'm having a time.

• 52:42Hannah Berner?

  And then people forget that on Revolve, there's also beauty. They have menswear, they have home, and they have Forward Renew, which is pre-owned luxury handbags, and you know how much we love vintage.

• 52:54Paige DeSorbo?

  I've been recently loving Helsa's stuff. I feel like the first place I go to look is Revolve. And the number one thing I love about Revolve is order a bunch of stuff. Try it on in the comfort of your home. Easiest return ever. It's the only place I shop that I don't feel bad ordering extra stuff, because I'm like, I have the luxury of trying it on and having the easiest returns.

• 53:19Hannah Berner?

  And the shipping is so fast. And if you're like me, and you don't know what you're doing two days from now, and then you're like, oh shit, I have a huge important dinner, use Revolve. It's so fast, and it's curated. So the website's really easy. I have been recently obsessed with, just like Norma Kamali, the capris that she has are so cute for fall, so comfy, stretchy, and perfect.

• 53:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Revolve also carries the brands that you genuinely know and love. There's also room for discovering things. Everything's curated, you can find new brands you love, new styles you feel like wearing. Revolve just makes shopping easier. All the brands you want, consistently updated, new arrivals, fast shipping, easy returns, and inevitably something you did not know you needed until five seconds ago. Go to revolve.com/giggly to shop our faves and use code GIGGLY for 15% off your first order. That's revolve.com/giggly, code GIGGLY for 15% off your first order. Offer available for a limited time, so don't miss out.

• 54:21Hannah Berner?

  I had an embarrassing moment with my husband.

• 54:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Was it sexual?

• 54:25Hannah Berner?

  No, I was, well, it was in the bathroom.

• 54:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 54:28Hannah Berner?

  This is the problem, when you're married, there's always a man there.

• 54:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 54:32Hannah Berner?

  So like envision your life if you're not married, but then just put a man there, and it's not always convenient. So I'm dermaplaning.

• 54:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 54:41Hannah Berner?

  Actually, I was so proud of myself for doing, because I was like, wow, I'm like page dysphoric, I'm dermaplaning, like, like, making sure that I don't have a beard, full billy goat beard. And Dez goes, are you shaving?

• 54:53Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, it's quite different, you wouldn't get it.

• 54:54Hannah Berner?

  I heard a vo, a vo, I said, what is, what is, what is going? He goes, are you shaving? And I go, actually, not at all. I'm dermaplaning. And he goes, so you're shaving? And I was like, completely, completely different genres.

• 55:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Not even similar in nature.

• 55:13Hannah Berner?

  You have no idea what you're fucking talking about. It's dermaplaning. He goes, it looks like you're shaving.

• 55:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 55:20Hannah Berner?

  And I said, Google dermaplaning. It's not, it has nothing to do with shaving. It's an art form that the girls and gays do.

• 55:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Does this look like a razor to you? He's like, yeah, it does.

• 55:35Hannah Berner?

  I'm like, define shaving. He's like, what you're doing? I go, okay. But I love how they, we really have rebranded dermaplaning. Because it'd be like, I'm like, it helps makeup sit better, it's cleansing my pores, I'm doing skincare. He goes, you're shaving.

• 55:51Paige DeSorbo?

  That's so interesting, because the other day I said, I actually apologized to Joe, which is something I very rarely do. But he said, I said, wow, you're like the only boyfriend I've ever had that I've talked about bodily functions, like more with, like, you know so much about the interworkings of my body.

• 56:14Hannah Berner?

  After that Italy trip, there was no going back.

• 56:16Paige DeSorbo?

  He looked at me and he goes, yeah, I've literally seen your shit before.

• 56:24Paige DeSorbo?

  And I was like, I said, I was like, oh my god. Because in Italy, I was dying so much.

• 56:31Hannah Berner?

  From every hole.

• 56:32Paige DeSorbo?

  That like, there was no escaping it. And then to go to a hotel after that had no bathroom door was like, so, that was just the universe.

• 56:41Hannah Berner?

  What people don't realize is that's intimacy. Like, people make fun of me for being like, open and stuff. I'm like, have you ever had a guy look into your soul?

• 56:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Through your asshole?

• 56:53Paige DeSorbo?

  No, because at one point in Italy, it was coming out of both ends so much that like, I was constantly flushing. And like, so there was like, something on the flusher, and I don't know what it was. It was either, it was either throw up or diarrhea. But like, no one knows, and he was privy to that. And so that put us into like, a whole different situation. Oh, a girl DM'd me and she was like, no, you need to know what imitation crab is. And she was like, it's basically the hot dog of the sea. It's a bunch of fish put together into one thing to just be like, imitation crab.

• 57:28Hannah Berner?

  I heard that sometimes it's like, a fish, an actual fish with like, a ton of starch.

• 57:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Starch?

• 57:35Hannah Berner?

  I don't know, woman in STEM stuff.

• 57:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, like they mix it up in a bowl? Yeah, that makes sense.

• 57:39Hannah Berner?

  But that's good to know.

• 57:40Paige DeSorbo?

  The other day, I had a thought. I'm buying baby gifts. I'm sa- I run a cold control center, okay? I'm sending out gifts all the time. I'm mailing shit. I'm getting candles. I'm mailing them out. I got baby trucks. I got wedding stuff. I'm sending things out. Then I had a thought. I was like, oh my god, I haven't gone through half, the majority of things I gift for, I've never experienced myself. So I have no idea what my reaction is going to be in these moments, like, when that happens to me. And in my head, I'm thinking, if I want something, I'm already buying it. I'm not waiting to put it on some registry. What, when I get, so when a man is involved, then I get to get all of these gifts, like?

• 58:25Paige DeSorbo?

  No, and also, as someone who like, I don't even think I'd have, I'll have a bridal shower. I don't even know if I'll have a baby shower.

• 58:34Hannah Berner?

  I didn't have a, I didn't have a bridal shower.

• 58:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like, I don't feel like they're as like, prominent now, whatever, to each their own. But I'm like, I don't even know if I would have one. Then I thought, okay, but what if I chose not to get married? So what, I'm never entitled to a, like, a mixing bowl? Like, excuse me? So then I started to get annoyed for the girls who were like, uh, so I have to go out and buy seven KitchenAids and a Le Creuset, but I can't get a goddamn place setting, like, myself?

• 59:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Why aren't we doing housewarming gifts and having a full, a registry for housewarmings? And that could be anyone.

• 59:16Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I mean, New York City, if you, a lot of New Yorkers, like, I moved eight times. So like, I would have, me at 24, having another housewarming for a fake bedroom that's like, a wall. That divides one bedroom.

• 59:31Paige DeSorbo?

  And we'd have to put a cap on it. We'd have to put an age limit, and like, you have to, first of all, mandatory, you have to be over 30.

• 59:39Hannah Berner?

  Yes, and but I do think there should be more housewarming lists. Or, yeah, there has to be some kind of system that the girls can like, benefit from each other.

• 59:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, I think that registries, I find them to be fascinating and interesting, because it's the only time in your life that you can be like, hey, buy me this. And nobody bats an eye. And I, but so I, and I like that. And then think about how many times you've dated a man and they've been like, what do you want for Christmas? Well, like, can you send me a link? And you're like, so I'm picking out my own Christmas gift? Yeah, here's the link, but like, that's annoying to me. I want a registry at all times. Like, I wish there was a platform that I could put things into a registry that I want other people to buy me, or myself.

• 1:00:32Paige DeSorbo?

  So anytime like, my, my birthday comes around or Christmas comes around, I'm like, we'll check my registry.

• 1:00:37Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, and people could like, just put a hundred dollars towards something.

• 1:00:41Paige DeSorbo?

  You could ask for donations to your registry, and it could be like, I'm going on a vacation with my girlfriends, buy me some shots. Or, hey, I have to buy books.

• 1:00:49Hannah Berner?

  So you're saying, so it's, so there's less like, just things that are bought that you don't even want? Like, the majority of gifts you don't want?

• 1:00:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Correct.

• 1:00:57Hannah Berner?

  Like, you're like, I see the thought behind it, thank you, but like, no, I'm not gonna use this notebook.

• 1:01:02Paige DeSorbo?

  What if there were like, family registries? Like, you know, like, every time?

• 1:01:06Hannah Berner?

  Oh yeah, like your aunt is getting you something for your birthday?

• 1:01:09Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, like, people send out Christmas cards. You could put like, your family registry on your Christmas card, and it's like, okay, an aunt you don't see that often, oh, but I know the children will love this, I'm gonna mail this to them, because it was on their registry.

• 1:01:23Hannah Berner?

  I do think it's good that things evolve, because people like, 30 years ago, were really obsessed with China.

• 1:01:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Right, like?

• 1:01:30Hannah Berner?

  They were all like, you can't get married without having proper China. And, I don't, I don't know, we, we've lost that.

• 1:01:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, but it's kind of sad.

• 1:01:41Hannah Berner?

  It's kind of sad, but like, people were obsessed with, if you're married, you have to have fine China.

• 1:01:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, I think my mom still uses her fine china on Christmas morning.

• 1:01:51Hannah Berner?

  Also, I hate to put you on the spot, but I have to call you out.

• 1:01:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Wow, you let me go 52 minutes? I guess that's okay.

• 1:01:58Hannah Berner?

  You haven't given me my birthday gift yet.

• 1:02:00Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, it's so funny, because I came home the other day when we were together, and I was like, it's sitting right here.

• 1:02:07Hannah Berner?

  We have been two ships in the night, it's not like we've been in the same place.

• 1:02:11Paige DeSorbo?

  When am I seeing you?

• 1:02:12Hannah Berner?

  I don't know, but it's supposed to be your, okay, this is a rule. I'm okay with it being late, but it cannot hit your birthday before me getting my gift.

• 1:02:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, you know, I bought something last night that I was like, should I send this to Hannah? Because she could just get me this for my birthday. And I think it's so cute, and it's like, kind of us. And then I thought, no, I'll just buy it myself. And I bought it myself last night. But no, I have your birthday gift. I've had it since your birthday.

• 1:02:37Hannah Berner?

  Which does count for something. I, I did buy you something for your birthday already, but it's one of those, like, it's not good enough to be a full gift.

• 1:02:45Paige DeSorbo?

  I really, I don't want to even get into this habit with you.

• 1:02:48Hannah Berner?

  Which habit?

• 1:02:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Getting gifts for each other.

• 1:02:51Hannah Berner?

  I know. Well, who's, one of us started it.

• 1:02:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, one of us started it one time, and then we like, should we just stop? After this birthday, let's, should we stop?

• 1:03:01Hannah Berner?

  Wait, I love when you're like, this is too stressful for me, and your friendship?

• 1:03:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Registry, so how am I supposed to?

• 1:03:06Hannah Berner?

  No, but our friendship is based on zero stress. Whenever anything stresses out, we just like, take care of it.

• 1:03:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, because you want to know, we're the type of people that we see something that's like, show that other person, we get it. Like, what about the day you just sent me that book of cats?

• 1:03:20Hannah Berner?

  I know.

• 1:03:21Paige DeSorbo?

  So like, we do that stuff.

• 1:03:22Hannah Berner?

  But I think we do little cute things randomly.

• 1:03:24Paige DeSorbo?

  All year round?

• 1:03:25Hannah Berner?

  Also, you told me that you bought my gift, and then one day looked at it, and you're like, that's actually cute, I'm gonna keep it.

• 1:03:30Paige DeSorbo?

  What was it?

• 1:03:31Hannah Berner?

  Whatever, I don't know what the gift is, but you're saying my birthday gift.

• 1:03:34Paige DeSorbo?

  This one right now, yeah. Well, there's been so many times where I'm like, and that actually would go so well, but I can't use them.

• 1:03:40Hannah Berner?

  I wouldn't care if you wore it. I'd be like, Paige Aserbo wore it at the, at the variety event.

• 1:03:45Paige DeSorbo?

  No, because if, once you open it, you're gonna be like, you've been taking pictures with this for two weeks. Yeah, and I'm done with it.

• 1:03:52Hannah Berner?

  People love when we share clothes.

• 1:03:55Hannah Berner?

  Anyway, you guys, thank you for giggling with us. Have an amazing, amazing week, and we'll talk to you later. Bye.

• 1:04:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Bye.

• 1:04:09Speaker 03

  Everyone knows those red Target bags, but what's inside? That's a different story for everybody. Maybe it's something new you didn't know you needed. Something that makes life a little easier? Or turns an ordinary Tuesday into something to look forward to? Because a Target bag isn't just full of things. It's full of what you need, what you love, and even what you'll love next. This fall, all that's new and uniquely you. It's in the bag, only at Target.