Robert Greene: How to use the 48 Laws of Power to get what you want in business

*Want the 7 books that transformed Sam's thinking this year? Get his list + reading strategy: https://clickhubspot.com/ekb Episode 740: Sam Parr ( https://x.com/theSamParr ) and Shaan Puri ( https://x.com/ShaanVP ) talk to Robert Greene ( https://x.com/RobertGreene ) about the most important ideas from his books and how to apply them today. — Show Notes: (0:00) Intro (00:48) Why specialists beat generalists (1:42) Your brain needs deep work (3:03) 300 books read for every 1 book written (14:58) Clues from childhood (21:27) Buffett’s Inner Scorecard (23:16) The Power of Silence and Mystery (30:35) Find your purpose (31:02) Authenticity Is Overrated (34:31) Boldness attracts. Timidness repels (41:08) Who’s Playing the Power Game Well Today (52:52) Turning a disaster into attention. (56:19) Breaking Through at 37 — Links: • The 48 Laws of Power - https://tinyurl.com/4ahkxzfj • The 33 Strategies of War - https://tinyurl.com/57vp9khn • The Art of Seduction - https://tinyurl.com/424mbtux • The 50th Law - https://tinyurl.com/zcte6826 • Mastery - https://tinyurl.com/3ch5ah8y • The Daily Laws - https://tinyurl.com/3n8pjv3t — Check Out Shaan's Stuff: • Shaan's weekly email - https://www.shaanpuri.com • Visit https://www.somewhere.com/mfm to hire worldwide talent like Shaan and get $500 off for being an MFM listener. Hire developers, assistants, marketing pros, sales teams and more for 80% less than US equivalents. • Mercury - Need a bank for your company? Go check out Mercury (mercury.com). Shaan uses it for all of his companies! Mercury is a financial technology company, not an FDIC-insured bank. Banking services provided by Choice Financial Group, Column, N. A., and Evolve Bank & Trust, Members FDIC — Check Out Sam's Stuff: • Hampton - https://www.joinhampton.com/ • Ideation Bootcamp - https://www.ideationbootcamp.co/ • Copy That - https://copythat.com • Hampton Wealth Survey - https://joinhampton.com/wealth • Sam’s List - http://samslist.co/ My First Million is a HubSpot Original Podcast // Brought to you by HubSpot Media // Production by Arie Desormeaux // Editing by Ezra Bakker Trupiano

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Shaan Puri?

  One of the best parts about this is there's so many levels to this. So when I tweeted this quote out, Dharmesh, who's this, you know, co-founder of a 20, 30 billion dollar company, retweeted it and says, this is exactly what I needed to hear today.

• 0:20Sam Parr?

  I am, man, I am so excited to talk to you. I've read all your books and I've always thought that instead of whatever they're teaching at universities, I was like, man, I wish I could just do a four-year degree on like four or six of these Robert Greene books because they're amazing.

• 0:34Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 0:35Sam Parr?

  And in particular, Mastery, it absolutely changed my life. I read that when I was 20, 22 years old, about 12 years ago, 11 years ago. It totally changed my life. It changed my life because I thought that being a generalist was the way to go. But according to the book Mastery, it was not.

• 0:54Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, you know, we live in these fantastic times with so much technological power. It's just almost incredible, you know? I mean, yesterday I was working on my new book and I had a question and I just did an AI search and it's just insane what it can do for you. But the problem is the human brain is what it is. It isn't a piece of technology that, that somebody developed recently. It's something that has hundreds of thousands of years of development and it has a certain way that it operates and a certain grain to it. And you want to go with that grain and you want to be excited by learning and you want to make connections in the brain between different things.

• 1:38Speaker 02

  And you want to be able to focus so deeply on something. I like to think of the brain as this kind of landscape. And it can be rich and it can be one where all these different plants are emerging or it can be like a wasteland. And if you learn different things and you focus very deeply and you're excited by what you're learning, then all of these connections will start happening in the brain. And so if you go through that apprenticeship focused and developing real skills and whatever that is, by the time you finish your apprenticeship, let's say you're 30 years old, you'll be set, you'll be able to create your own business, you'll be very creative. You will laid groundwork for something really important to happen.

• 2:22Speaker 02

  But if you're distracted, if you're focusing on a hundred different things, that's not how the human brain functions. We function when we go deep into something, when we bore deep, deep, deep, deep, deep into a subject. I know when I'm writing a book, which I'm doing right now, the first attempt that I make at something is very superficial. It's not interesting. You wouldn't believe how bad my writing is on the first go. But I go deep, deep, deep into what I'm thinking. I cross it out. I do something else. I edit it. By the 10th time I go into it, something interesting is happening. So when you focus deeply on something, ideas will come to you and sometimes those ideas will be brilliant.

• 3:03Sam Parr?

  How many books do you read to write one book? So for mastery, how many books did you consume to write that one? Or Four Eight Laws of Power?

• 3:11Speaker 02

  It's hard to estimate, but I'd somewhere around 300. Some could be upwards of that. And, you know, sometimes if a book is, is bad, and believe me, I go, I read a lot of bad books. I kind of skim them, you know? Oh, this passage is really sucks. So this chapter is meaningless. I'll kind of float through it. But if a book is really good and, you know, I could, there are some books that are incredible. I'd say maybe about a fifth of them reach that level. I'll focus very deeply. I'll even reread it several times. It's probably why my health suffered and why I had a stroke is because I read too many books. I do too much research.

• 3:54Speaker 02

  But I want to get at the reality of what I'm writing about. I don't want to be superficial because so many books out there, at least for me, don't really go deep enough into the subject. They're kind of skimming along the surfaces.

• 4:08Shaan Puri?

  So Sam was talking about mastery and you have this concept of people finding their life, life task, their life's task. And I think that's great. But I know a lot of people who are maybe in their 30s or 40s who don't know that that is. And maybe they feel like it's too late or they're stuck or don't know where to start. You know, what's the sort of pocketbook guidance you have for somebody like that who's looking for, who's trying to figure out what that is? And what are the tools they could use to figure out that life's task?

• 4:38Speaker 02

  Well, it's a question I get all the time and it's an extremely important question. The idea that I have is that When you were born, your DNA, there's something completely unique about you genetically. There's never going to be anyone in the past or the future who will be like you. Your parents who raised you, they're also unique. So you are a unique individual. You were so at birth, right? And when you were very young, two, three, four years old, you were attracted to certain things naturally. I call them primal inclinations. Things that you loved very deeply, that you were drawn to, that you were attracted to. I tell the story in the book of Steve Jobs. He's seven years old.

• 5:19Speaker 02

  He's walking with his father in Sunnyvale, California, where he grew up. And he passes by an electronics shop. And he's just fascinated by these objects in the window, the design of them and how beautiful they are. And it was at that moment that he sort of fell in love with technology, not just as technology, as a machine, but as the design of it, because he was a brilliant designer. So I'm saying you had those moments when you were five or six years old. But your problem is when you were 18 or 19 or 20, you took a wrong path. You listened to other people. You didn't listen to yourself. You listened to your parents who said, Robert, you should go to law school. And this is what, you know, some of what my own parents told me.

• 6:03Speaker 02

  You need to go to business school. You need to go become a doctor. You need to get something practical and make a living. And you're alienated from that deep, deep love of something that you had when you were four or five years old, or six years old, or whatever it is. And then you go down a wrong path. So the way is to get back onto that path. And the way is to reconnect with who you are, with what you truly love and what your interests are. And there's a process for that, and I can go into it. And I've consulted with many people on this thing. But the problem is you're so in tune with what other people are telling you. You're not listening to yourself. You don't know what makes you unique. And if you look at all of the really successful people in this world,

• 6:46Speaker 02

  people, the great entrepreneurs or in any field, they're one of a kind, right? There's nobody else like a Kobe Bryant out there. You know, God rest his soul, my favorite basketball player. They're one of a kind, okay? So you lost that somehow. And when you're in your 30s, You can get back to it. But what you need to do is you need to be practical in life. You can't just suddenly start all over and go, I've been learning these skills. I went into law school and I'm not happy with it. You can't now turn around and say, well, I'm going to be a poet or I'm going to be a rock star. You've already learned skills.

• 7:28Speaker 02

  You have to build on what you have and take it in a direction towards something that you really, really love. Right? You need to be practical and you may have to compromise a little bit. But when you're in your 30s, you can still do it. And because you're young enough and your mind is flexible. As you get older, you get rigid, you get set in your ways and it becomes harder and harder and harder to do this process. When you're in your 40s, it's still possible, but it's getting harder. When you're in your 50s, it's getting almost very, very difficult. So the real lesson for people out there is if you're 20 years old, do not go on that wrong path because it gets very difficult later in life to adjust. But if you're in your 30s, you have to reassess yourself.

• 8:13Speaker 02

  You have to get a journal and every day you have to write down things about what really excites you in life. What it was when you opened a book and you read about something and you go, wow, that just attracts me. I know personally, whenever I see an article or a story about early humans and how we developed 30, 40, 60,000 years ago, I can't believe it. I'm so excited. I can't. We were actually like that and look who we are now. You have subjects like that, but you've just become alienated from yourself. You're not listening to yourself. You're not listening to that voice in your head and you need to find your way back.

• 8:54Sam Parr?

  All right. I read a ton. I would say almost a book a week. And the reason I read so much is because my philosophy towards reading is I want to see what worked for the winners that I love and what strategies they use. And then I want to see what mistakes did they all make? What were the common flaws that they all had? And I just want to avoid that. And so HubSpot asked me to put together a list of the books that have changed my life so far in 2025, and I did that. And so I listed out seven books that made a meaningful difference in my life, and I explained what the differences that they had on me, or what actions I took because of the book. And then also, I listed out my very particular ways of reading, because I'm pretty strategic about how I read, and how I read so much, and how I remember what I read, and things like that. And so

• 9:37Sam Parr?

  I put this together in a very simple guide. It's seven books that had a huge impact on my life. And you can scan the QR code below if you want to read it, or there's a link. You guys know what to do. There's a link in the description. Just go ahead and click it, and you'll see the guide that I made. So it's the seven books that had a massive change in my life this year so far, and then also, how I'm able to read so much. So check it out below.

• 10:00Sam Parr?

  You know, I'm only saying this to give you context, Robert, but millions of people listen to this podcast, and sometimes they look up to Sean and I, because we've done some interesting things in the business world. Yes.

• 10:12Shaan Puri?

  And sometimes they look down on us, too.

• 10:15Sam Parr?

  Sometimes they look up to us. A lot of times, they look down on us. And I can't speak for Sean, but even, you know, we're fortunate to have people look up to us. And even I am sometimes like, I still don't know what my life's task is. I still have doubts. And I think that you said something, you're like, you have to listen to yourself. And like, maybe yourself is yelling at you, but so is everything else. And so it's kind of hard to hear. Can you actually walk me through, you said you consult with people? And the interesting thing about being a historian like you is like, very billionaires, I imagine, they're like, be my oracle, tell me what to do. What questions do you ask to journal? Or what is like your seven day exercises that you do with someone who's hiring you

• 10:58Sam Parr?

  to help you find, or, you know, hiring you to give them their life's task, or help them find it?

• 11:05Speaker 02

  Okay, well, you know, as you, as you, as you point out, the problem is in this era of social media, we have so much information coming at us that we're confused and we're distracted, right? There's all this noise, this static going on in your brain. You're hearing what people are having for lunch, you're hearing about this outrage, this problem. You don't have a, you're not able to focus. So the main thing here is you've got to really, really go into yourself. You've got to cut out all that crap. You're taking it seriously. Because a lot of people who come to me, I can tell right away, they're not serious about it. They kind of, well, I'm not really happy. Maybe Robert can help me figure it

• 11:46Speaker 02

  out. No, damn it, you have to figure it out. It's not up to me. You're not taking it seriously. You're playing a game. You kind of have dreams and you wish. No, you've got to take this seriously. Your life is at stake. Time is short, you know, you could die tomorrow. Life is shorter than you think. So you don't have time to waste. So take this thing seriously. That's the number one thing I tell people. And what take it seriously means is it requires time. All right? You're going to carve out, let's say, a week of real focus, and I think you could do it longer than that. But let's just say, in, in your scenario, a week of clear focus, all right? You're going to get a journal, a book, or a computer, if you

• 12:30Speaker 02

  do it on a computer. I recommend an actual book, because the brain and the hand, there's a, there's a process, there's a magic goes on when you handwrite something. I'm going to ask you to handwrite everything, but in this case, writing in a journal is the best idea, I think. Okay? So you're going to start writing in a journal. You can even sometimes voice record it, because I do that too as well, if that's something you prefer. But I don't want you to be on the screen all the time, okay? I want you to be really listening to yourself deeply. Okay? So you're writing things down. You're going to start writing, you're going to begin by saying, these are the things that I love, and these are the things that I hate. And you can put, you can put it in, you can divide the page in

• 13:12Speaker 02

  half and, and do that if you want. So to give you an example, things that you hate and dislike are a very important part of figuring out your life's task.

• 13:23Speaker 02

  Now personally, I didn't figure out what I was really meant to do, which is writing these books until I was about thirty-eight years old, okay? I was kind of lost and I was kind of wandering. But the one thing I knew, and I've known at a very early age, is I hate working for other people. I hate working for other people. I hate the politics. I hate the egos. I like to control things, so I need to be somebody who works for myself, right? I can't work for other people. I'm really bad at it. I never held a job for longer than ten or eleven months in my entire life. I was always dissatisfied, quit, and whatever, okay?

• 14:08Speaker 02

  So knowing what you hate is very important for knowing what you love, all right? So you cut things out. You cut all the stuff out that you don't want to do. You're not interested in math. You're not interested in numbers. You're more of an idea person. I don't know what it is. But you're gonna write down the things that you love, the things that you hate, in the present moment, all right? And you're gonna... What this is really about, Sam, is you're connecting with yourself, right? Because you're not connected to yourself, and that's the number one problem people have in this world. They're listening to other people. They're imitating other people. "Oh, this is a cool person. I want to be like him or her." No, you gotta be yourself. You're not connected to yourself.

• 14:51Speaker 02

  So this journaling process is gonna take you through several days of reconnecting with who you are. The other thing that you need to do is you need to go into your childhood, into your early years. So we begin by looking at the present moment. "I hate working for other people. I love this kind of subject or this kind of thing in the world." Now I want you to go deep into your childhood. I compare it to being like an archaeologist. You're making a dig, right? It's you're not going back millions of years. You're going back to when you were four or five years old. And I want you to, because in those early years, you were open to the world. You were really open. As we get older, we get really closed.

• 15:35Speaker 02

  Certain things excited you in a way that you can't even recall. It's not the same to you now, right? It didn't have to do with words. It had to do with feelings. So I tell the story, I told you like Steve Jobs. There's the story of Tiger Woods with his father in the garage. He's like two years old. I don't know, something like that. His father is hitting golf balls in the garage. You know, there's one of those little plastic balls against the, against the wall. And Tiger is sitting there in his baby chair and he's getting so excited. He's kicking his legs. Oh my God, this is incredible. Right then and there, he had discovered his life's task, basically. It wasn't like an intellectual process.

• 16:16Speaker 02

  It wasn't, well, I'm two years old and golf is really interesting and I'm going to study it. It was in his heart. It was something deep. You can't put it into words, right? You had that moment. It's almost pre-verbal, but something really, really excited you. For me, when I was a child, it was language and words. I was obsessed with, with words and books and, and just the magic of a word itself. It like boggled my mind how incredible. You had those moments, whatever it was. So we're going back into your childhood and we're digging and we're digging and we're digging. You also have to cut out all of the other voices.

• 16:57Speaker 02

  Part of the journaling is, I listened to what my friends were telling me. I listened to what my parents were telling me. Cut all that shit out and listen to yourself.

• 17:08Shaan Puri?

  That's pretty great. I do have one kind of follow-up or I don't know. Clarifying question on it. So I have a five year old today and I think about like what I observe in her. But I would guess that, you know, most of the things that she really loves are pretty common like. She like, like since she's in a baby, like if music comes on, she loves to dance. My one year old is the same way. My four year old is the same way. Um, does that mean she's going to be a dancer, right? Like they love to play video games on the iPad. Does that mean they're going to be a gamer or a game designer? Like, there's some things that are just so common. Everyone loves, they love cookies, they love ice cream. Does that mean they're going to be Ben and Jerry's? Like, is there another angle to it, which is like, you know, you're sort of uniquely into it? Or um, maybe others are not, you have to look for the things that others are not into, you know, I guess like.

• 17:53Shaan Puri?

  How do you differentiate just like common dopamine things we all like versus my life's task?

• 17:58Speaker 02

  Well, it's a great question. Um, I like to refer people to this book by Howard Gardner called Five Frames of Intelligence. I think I'm sorry, I might not have the title exactly right. But the point of this book is that there are five kinds of intelligence. And some of it has to do with math and patterns. Some of it has to do with words. Some of it is kinetic. It's just the body and moving the body. Some of it is social. Okay. Some of it involves music and or visual things. He studied this very deeply and he asserts that every human being has one of these intelligences that stands out that kind of dominates their brain.

• 18:41Speaker 02

  So it's not, it's not a trivial thing of, you know, I like to play video games or I like to eat cookies. It's something more deep. It's something more primal. It's about a certain direction that your brain heads in. So with your young daughter, it's, is she into sort of just physical things? Or does she have some kind of intellectual interest that draws her that's very exciting? Okay. So, you know, all children like to move around and jump around and run around, et cetera. That doesn't mean that they're going to be an athlete. I understand your question. But some people are like that. Some people, that is their dominant interest. Right?

• 19:26Speaker 02

  And you can see that, as I said, by looking at the negative, they're not into, they're not into math, they're not into words, they're just into moving around. And maybe at four, it's hard to see that, but by the time they're seven or eight, it becomes very clear. But what is their mind, their brain attracted to? Okay. And the problem with parenting is you're projecting onto your child what you like, what your interests are, who you are. You've not understood that they're an individual. Your daughter is unique. She's something, she's not you. She has your genetics, but she's a girl. She's different gender. She has a different experience from you. Right? She also has the genes of her mother.

• 20:10Speaker 02

  You're projecting onto her. So imagine that you're in her skin and seeing the world from her point of view. And you can see the things that she doesn't like, that she hates. But what is her mind drawn to? I'm pretty sure that if you focused on it deeply, you could see some, the outlines of what that is. But the main thing you want to do is you want to let your child discover that for yourself. You don't want to push them in a direction that you think is better for them. You want to let them discover it for themselves. And when you see it, which you will with your daughter, maybe it'll happen soon or maybe in a couple of years, you want to encourage them, right?

• 20:53Speaker 02

  Even if it's something that you think isn't good for them, that, oh, you can't make a living at that. You want to encourage them because you want children to be excited by learning. If you turn your, your five-year-old off from learning for whatever reason, man, you're a bad parent. I'm sorry to say. That's the number one thing. They've got to be excited by something. What is that thing that they're drawn to? I believe that you, if you went deeply into it, you could almost figure it out right now. You know, we can even talk about it, but I think that's, that would be my answer.

• 21:28Shaan Puri?

  It reminds me of one thing, Sam. I want to, I want to hear your question about the, maybe one of his other concepts or books, but just reminds me of, Warren Buffett has said the best thing his dad ever taught him was the, was the importance of an inner scorecard. So he says, most people live with an outer scorecard. And the thought experiment he gives is like, you know, would you rather be the, you know, whether his, uh, he, he, the funny example he gives is would you rather be the world's best lover, but everybody thinks you're the worst? Or the world's worst lover, but everybody thinks you're the best? And that, your answer to that, he says the same thing about investing. What should I be the best? If I was the best investor, but everybody thought I was the worst, would that be better? Or if I was the worst investor, but everybody thought I was the best, would that be better?

• 22:08Speaker 02

  What's the answer?

• 22:10Shaan Puri?

  Well, he's like, you know, for him, he attributes the most of his success to the fact that he has a very strong inner scorecard.

• 22:16Speaker 02

  I see.

• 22:17Shaan Puri?

  That like, he's not immune to the idea of an outer scorecard, that like, other, you know, caring what other people think of him. However, he listens to himself first and foremost, and he carries an inner scorecard, and he marks his actions and his choices in his life on what he thought would be the right choice, and what he thinks is a good life for him, which is totally different than what other people will have. But he says that that's the importance of having a strong inner scorecard.

• 22:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, this isn't rocket science. This is like, very basic stuff. It's very basic human psychology.

• 22:48Shaan Puri?

  Hey, let's take a quick break. You know, HubSpot helped Tumblr solve a big problem. Tumblr needed to move fast. They were trying to produce trending content, but their marketing department was stuck waiting on engineers to code every single email campaign. But now, they use HubSpot's customer platform to email real-time trending content to millions of users in just seconds. And the result was huge: three times more engagement and double the content creation. If you want to move faster like Tumblr, visit hubspot.com. All right, back to the show.

• 23:16Sam Parr?

  I want to ask you about silence. You're, I think there's two reasons why I love your book, or all of your books. I think the first takeaway is that it's about human nature, and human nature generally doesn't change. That's the point of it. And so you kind of like, give a blueprint for that. But the second thing is that, particularly with the 48 Laws of Power, the most important thing is self-control, which is quite challenging. And in particular, you write a lot and you talk a lot about silence. And you're like, it's actually better to say as least as possible, because when you talk too much, you make yourself look stupid, or you reveal your true intentions, which you don't always want to do. With social media, and like, particularly Sean and I's job, it's like, very easy to

• 23:59Sam Parr?

  talk too much, or to talk a lot. Is there any examples of you think that... Someone who's popular or someone who's doing a really good job of sort of a master class on how to use silence to their advantage?

• 24:14Speaker 02

  I think of various musicians like a Michael Jackson or Beyonce. I mean, Michael Jackson is sort of before the era, obviously, of social media. But he was somebody who knew that occasionally he had to withdraw completely from the public eye. And the thing about Michael Jackson was he was very clever and very kind of savvy about things. And he actually had the 48 Laws of Power. And when he died, his estate had the book and they auctioned it. Somebody bought it for $300,000. But if you look on it, he annotated everything in there, right? He wrote on the margins, et cetera.

• 24:55Speaker 02

  But the thing that Michael Jackson understood before he even read the book was the importance of disappearing. So he understood the public very well and the magic of attention, right? Because attention is the whole game when you're a celebrity. And he understood that when you're too present, then people know you too well, they take you for granted. So he would disappear for several years in between albums. Nobody knew what he was doing and it made everybody talk about him, made everybody fantasize about him, made everybody wonder what's the next trick that Michael Jackson's going to perform. Beyonce will do the same thing. You know, I was once asked by a famous female rapper named Sowee Dee.

• 25:38Speaker 02

  She, we were having dinner and she asked me the same question, like, I'm in social media. How do I disappear if I disappear? Well, it's not a matter that like you're gone for several months, but you don't have to post every day. You have to create some mystery around you. And even if you do post, you're not so obvious. You're not saying exactly who you are, exactly what you had for breakfast, exactly the clothes that you're wearing. You create some mystery around you. That is a form of silence. That is a form of disappearing. Because the whole point is, if people know exactly who you are, there's no fantasy element in anymore. And they're gonna get bored with you and they're gonna turn their attention

• 26:22Speaker 02

  to somebody else who seems interesting for the moment, right? So you could be too present, you could be too in people's face. They know everything about you and they start to take you for granted. You're too familiar. So if you're in the public eye, you have to shake things up. People have to go, I thought that you were like this, Sam. But now I'm getting this idea that maybe I didn't know who you are. You can do that by disappearing for a week or so and then people are wondering what happened to Sam. Why isn't he posting? Or you can do it by putting things on social media, the kind of scramble people's expectations of you, scramble what people think of you. I know in my line of work, if I wrote the same book,

• 27:06Speaker 02

  if I did the Forty Eight Lost Power Part Two for my second book, it would probably have some success. People would be interested in it. But it starts to get predictable, right? So I make sure every new book that I do is different, goes off in a different direction. So people can't take me for granted. So people don't know what I'm gonna do next. Keeping them guessing as to what the next subject is, going off in a new direction and challenging them is part of the game. So if you become too predictable, people are gonna tune you out and they're gonna move on to somebody else. And so changing the scrambling their expectations is a form of silence, is creating mystery, because that's what this is all about.

• 27:50Speaker 02

  Sean, do you ever think about this stuff?

• 27:53Shaan Puri?

  I thought of it when Sam said something kind of amazing to me. He said, you know, we're doing this podcast and not long ago, a couple of years ago, we were in a group chat where a bunch of us who had 10,000 followers were like, you know, we want to get to 100,000. Let's make it. And we called it the 100,000 Club and we all started posting and we got there. And he said something like, um, my goal is by the time I'm 40 to be off the internet. Like, just sort of disappear from the internet. And I really never, I've only ever heard of people saying, I want to become more famous. Not, and more, more digital and have a bigger platform and a bigger audience and more followers. And it was the first time I'd heard somebody in my friend group say the exact opposite. Like,

• 28:37Shaan Puri?

  the goal is to push delete when I turn 40. I almost didn't believe it. In fact, I still only half believe it. But I loved it. And I think Sam also does a good job of the scramble. He'll, you know, on one hand, he'll be a CEO of a media company and then he'll post a video of himself skateboarding and like, or dunking. I'm like, oh, you could, I didn't even know you're athletic. And many times on this podcast, in the last five years of this podcast, he's come on and be like, I've decided I'm a fitness influencer now. And then he comes back and changes it. And he's like, I'm all about fashion and style. And I'm like, dude, no offense, but you're not the first guy I think of when it comes to fashion. But this idea, and he'll annoyingly quote you, Robert, he'll be like, whatever, rule number seven, reinvent yourself. I told him I was picking up the piano this year.

• 29:20Shaan Puri?

  He's like, I love it. Reinvent yourself. And I was like, that's a much, you know, grander, you know, frame for what I'm doing. But I appreciate that. I like that. I like, I do like going back to the bottom of the mountain. And so when you're saying this about silence or about disappearing, you know, I don't think there's a lot of that, which makes it, I think, even more valuable. It's more rare, it's more different. But I also think it comes with a season. Like, you need almost a season of loudness to get people to care. If you just, if you're nobody and you disappear, then you never were anybody, right? Like, but if you have a season of loudness and then it's followed by a season of silence, that seems more optimal. That's what I wrote in my, as you can see, I'm taking notes while we do this. That's what I wrote on there is this, this is seasonal. And I think I have been one track minded about too many things where it's like, this is good, therefore

• 30:02Shaan Puri?

  always do this. And actually, you do need different seasons and how you're, how you're going to operate. And that combination is what's more powerful.

• 30:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, I couldn't agree with you more. Yeah. So, so what is Sam going to do when he turns 40 then?

• 30:17Sam Parr?

  That's a great question, but the reason I said that was-

• 30:21Speaker 02

  Well, how old are you now?

• 30:23Sam Parr?

  I'm 36. I just turned 36. The reason I said that was because I think that, I do believe in reinventing yourself. I go, I'm not, you know, blowing smoke. Like, your work has had a profound impact on me, but I believe in reinventing yourself. But I also believe that wherever your life ends and wherever you are, like, the goal is to find, you know, find your life's purpose and go after it. But there's like these weird pivots to get there. It's not a straight line. And I believe in like these forcing functions to make you pivot, to kind of find where you're supposed to be.

• 30:52Speaker 02

  So where will that pivot lead you when you get off the internet? You don't know. You're gonna discover it when it happens. You're open to it. You just know that at some point, you want something else.

• 31:03Sam Parr?

  Yeah, I don't know, but I think that like, I think that I'm a gregarious person. I talk a lot. And I actually think that, um, I think that, I think that for the last 20 years, since the internet has been around, you know, you hear the A word, authenticity, thrown around a lot.

• 31:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:21Sam Parr?

  And I actually think that, based off of your works and reading history, being authentic is like, that's actually kind of a new thing. Like, people, that's a relatively new idea to be authentic, because now you can just film yourself on a camera, and you've been told to be authentic. But people, the most powerful people on earth, they're not really authentic. They wear masks, and they're acting. And I think that, like, an interesting takeaway from your book is to understand what outcome you want and which masks you need to wear. And I actually think that being authentic is over glamorized and actually, is actually ineffective when you want your particular goal.

• 32:04Sam Parr?

  And I actually think that it's, for some reason, we think being authentic is good. And I don't know if I agree with that.

• 32:09Speaker 02

  I think of, too often, we humans get trapped in kind of words and things that are black and white, or that this, or that. So you can create the veneer, the appearance of authenticity, right? Which is very important, is a very important quality in the public eye. It doesn't mean that you're completely faking it. It just means that there is something about you that's natural that you that is very powerful about you. But you're conscious of it. You're not just operating, you know, without thinking about it. You're conscious of what makes you look authentic. And you kind of up it and you kind of lean into it and you kind of create it. Okay?

• 32:54Speaker 02

  And then maybe in four or five years, it's a different mask or a different form of authenticity that you have. But it doesn't mean that it's completely fake. So I think it's important for a politician, for an entertainer, for anybody in the public eye, to create the appearance of authenticity, that they're not somebody fake, that they're not saying things just for attention, that they actually believe it. But you have to be aware that that's the game that you're playing. People who aren't aware of the game that they're playing have no control over themselves. They will say stupid things. They will be authentic when it's no, when their, when their authentic character is no longer interesting, right?

• 33:38Speaker 02

  Because tastes change. And maybe right now, kind of saying what you think about certain things is cool. But in three years, it won't be cool and you'll look stupid. So you have to be aware of who you are and you have to adapt to the times. And you have to kind of play a middle game where you know the importance of appearing authentic and, and playing that game, but you're also aware of it and you consciously control it.

• 34:08Shaan Puri?

  Yeah. You have a few of these quotes that are so good. I just want you to unpack them. So I kind of want to read you something that stood out to me that resonated and just hear you kind of riff on it. And maybe where that comes from or where you think that that needs to be applied. Or like if you could shake somebody, get them to sort of hear this message, you know, what's that? Cause one of them I tweeted out today, it was great. It was, you talked about how being timid is very dangerous. And you basically said, you know, don't take action when you have hesitation or doubt. It infects your execution. And the quote was, timidity is dangerous. Be better to enter with boldness. Any mistakes that you commit through audacity are easily corrected with more audacity.

• 34:51Shaan Puri?

  Everyone admires the bold. No one honors the timid.

• 34:55Speaker 02

  It's a very important quote for me because timidity is, to me, one of the worst sins that I think people have. Right? And it's what is causing you to not be successful in life. Right? Boldness is the most important quality that you can develop. And first of all, get rid of this misconception that some people are born bold and others are born timid. When we're a child, we're bold as hell. All children are born bold, right? They know what they want. They scream, they yell, they get their parents to do things. The parents are their slaves, essentially. Children are born bold. You become timid. It becomes a habit. You become afraid. You become deferential.

• 35:39Speaker 02

  You're always saying yes. You're always trying to please people. It becomes, your face just becomes like that and you lose a sense of that boldness that you once had. And the, the, the main thing around that idea is that people are assessing you in these kind of non-verbal ways. They're reading your body language. And when they can sense that you don't have confidence, that you're doubtful, that you're hesitant, they don't want to join you. They don't want to be part of your team. They don't want to listen to you. They tune you out. They don't respect you. Okay? So if you start something, a project, a business, and you're not quite sure of it,

• 36:23Speaker 02

  that kind of radiates outward, that spirit of your hesitation, people can feel it. And it has a, a quality that, that repulses people. They don't want to join you. But if you show boldness and confidence, even if it's not real, you fake it. Even if you make yourself believe that you're confident and bold, it excites people. We want to be around people like that. I know when I wrote The Fiftieth Law and I first met Fifty Cent. I was amazed by how confident this guy was. And it made me feel ashamed that I'm not as confident as he is, that I was even a little bit timid. It excited me and it excited everyone around him. They wanted to be part of his team.

• 37:07Speaker 02

  They wanted, because it fed off of him. We all want to be infected by the energy of someone who's bold, who knows what they want. Right? So that's the main thing is your first impressions are critical. And if people see you as timid and differential and all closed and not so certain, they're going to run away from you. They're unconsciously, they're not going to want to be part of your team.

• 37:32Shaan Puri?

  Well, like, one of the best parts about this is there's so many levels to this. So when I tweeted this quote out, Darmesh, who's this, you know, co-founder of a 20, 30 billion dollar company retweeted it and says, this is exactly what I needed to hear today.

• 37:45Sam Parr?

  Yeah, not crazy. I saw that. I thought that was wild.

• 37:47Shaan Puri?

  We just did a podcast with this guy Hayes Barnard. He's probably, I don't know, one of the top thousand wealthiest people in the world. And we, we wanted to do this podcast and most people, when they come on the podcast, they might agree to do it. And then we sort of badgered them to be like, hey, would you, um, you know, can we get on a call? Maybe talk a little beforehand or hey, we've got some ideas, but what we might talk about? You know, you, you've published so much work that it's, we know where, we know where your thoughts are already. But for people who don't publish, like, you kind of want to find, what are your big ideas? And, um, most people put in, you know, very little effort. He was the exact, this guy Hayes was the exact opposite. He takes a ton of action. He calls, he's got his own brainstorm.

• 38:26Shaan Puri?

  He's decided if I'm going to enter this, if I'm going to do this, it doesn't matter if it's just a two hour podcast recording. Like, I'm going to try to do this as best as this can be done. And so he was like going full force and he said, come out and hang out with me for the day. Come do my morning routine. Let's hang out all day. And then what he's like, well, he's like, I do this thing in the middle of Lake Tahoe. I go, I do breath work, I jump in the ocean, I jump in the lake. It's cold. Um, I watch the sunrise and he goes, I'm on such a high, I'm in such a peak mental state. He's like, I think if we do the podcast right after that, it'll be the best podcast we could, we could possibly do. So I go out there and I do, I spend all day with this guy and he's so bold, meaning the way he just approaches life is super bold, even after we do the breath work and stuff. He's like, you know what?

• 39:09Shaan Puri?

  Every day I heard you a great quote, do something new every day. It marks the day. It keeps you growing, keeps you fresh, keeps you alive. You know what I've never done? I've never swam to those rocks out there. Let's try to swim to those rocks. And so we jump in the water, we try to swim the rocks and I'm just around this guy. And I asked him about Elon Musk because he worked with Elon for about 10 years.

• 39:30Shaan Puri?

  And he talks about Elon the way I talk about him. He goes, I go, tell me, you know, describe Elon in a word. He goes, the ultimate alpha. And because Elon, I would say is probably the biggest example of boldness and like the solution to making a mistake through audacity is more audacity. I think he is the number one on earth out of eight billion people at doing that. And seeing that this guy was around him and had the same impression of like, he thought he was timid. Once he saw, you know, the level that Elon played at. I just wow. There's so many levels to this.

• 40:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, we're infected by the energy of the people around us. Right? And we can, we pick up things. We're too attuned to words and we don't realize that we're actually, there's an animal part of our nature. And that animal part of our nature is picking up the energy, the signs that we can read and how people in the tone in their voice, in how they stand in their posture. And when we, when we feel somebody who's confident, it kind of rubs off on us. We want to be around it. We want more of it. Right? I have a chapter in the 48 Laws of Power called infection.

• 40:45Speaker 02

  And the opposite happens where people who are overly dramatic or kind of drama queens who are always have some terrible thing happening to them. They're always a victim. And they just, you know, and they sort of suck you into their drama and they can destroy your life. We're infected by the energy of the people around us. That's the most important takeaway that I would give here.

• 41:09Sam Parr?

  When you're seeing what's going on right now on social media or whatever, it's kind of fun after reading your books because I'm like, oh, that's interesting. There's that thing. There's that thing. Is there anyone out there who you not exactly look up to, but you're like, oh, they are playing the power game like textbook perfect.

• 41:28Speaker 02

  It's a good question, but I don't really think I can answer it because the problem is that you do need time to just to see what people are truly like, you know? So I remember some twenty five years ago or twenty four years ago, I met a man named Dove Charney, who ended up becoming the founder of the company American Apparel. I met him when he was just starting out. And man, that guy was charisma in a ball. He was insane, this level of confidence, right? He was incredible. And he built this factory, this vertically organized factory in Los Angeles.

• 42:09Speaker 02

  He created an empire, American Apparel. And I thought he was brilliant and he got me to join the board of directors. And I was on the board of directors for American Apparel for several years until it ended. But then, over the time, we realized this guy has incredible flaws, right? He doesn't have self-control. He seems confident, but in the end, he was making some really bad decisions because he wasn't flexible. So, you know, I could say, you know, certain artists who are able to sort of stay on top of their game seem to me to be kind of power players because they know how to mix things up. And I mentioned someone like Beyonce.

• 42:53Speaker 02

  I'd say somebody like 50 Cent. I'd say people like Jay-Z. These are people who understand the attention game, how to play it. And that's a very important part of the forty eight laws of power. Appearance is how you appear. But with politicians, I will not go anywhere near that because we have no way of knowing. We have no way of seeing in the present moment. I see, I see so many stupid people out there who immediately react to something in the news and make their judgment about this was great or that was stupid. I'm sorry, you have no idea. In two years, we will know if it was great or if it was stupid. And in 20 years, we'll even have a better idea. And in 200 years, we'll even know for certain, right?

• 43:35Speaker 02

  So I can't even go near judging about political figures. Entertainers, I can see, I think we have some, some value there, some metrics. Um, and in sports, obviously we do, but um. Who, who are some of those folks? Well, you know, um, I'm being a little bit selfish here, but I'm friends with um, a head coach of the NBA, Mark Dagono, who's the coach of the Oklahoma City Thunder. And they just won the NBA championship. I knew him eight years ago when he was the coach of the G League team of the Oklahoma City Thunder. And this guy is absolutely brilliant at the game of power.

• 44:19Speaker 02

  And it's not like he's Machiavellian, not at all. He's a great leader, but he understands there's no, there's no more difficult job in the world than being an NBA coach. You have 12 or 15 people with these incredible egos who all think they're the greatest, right? And you have to build them into a team, into a spirit that's one, that's unified, that wants to play the game right. He understands perfectly human nature and psychology. And he built himself from the ground up as, as a coach of the G League. And then he started off as the coach of the Thunder and they were very bad the first couple of years, but he was very patient. He had a goal in mind.

• 45:03Speaker 02

  I tell people, you know, we're so distracted, we're so confused in the social media world that we can't think, let alone three months ahead, but even try to think a year or five years ahead, like a plan, right? My God, I can't think that far ahead, but it's powerful. When you have a plan that goes two years, three years down the road, it gives you a sense of control, like this is what I want, this is what's important, this feeds my overall goal, this is irrelevant. It doesn't mean you're inflexible, it just means that you have a direction. And people don't have direction these days. This man had direction. He had a plan. He knew exactly how he was going to lead his team to a championship.

• 45:48Speaker 02

  Now, of course, he couldn't predict everything, who you draft, et cetera. But to me, the way he manufactured this recent championship is one of the most brilliant examples of the 48 laws of power. I'm not going to take credit for it by any means, but he's a figure on there who's going to be a coach to reckon with for the next 10, 20 years. He's the Phil Jackson of our era. He's somebody I would point out, and Phil Jackson was somebody that I greatly admired, who was definitely a man of power because he understood human nature and psychology.

• 46:25Shaan Puri?

  All right, listen, the two most beautiful words in the English language are email subscribers. You need more email subscribers. I guarantee it. I don't care how many you have, you need more of them. I need more of them. You need more of them. We all need more email subscribers because email is an amazing way to build your business, to build an audience, and to build a direct relationship. That's not dependent on the TikTok algorithm, the Instagram algorithm. It's how you get people to engage directly with you so you can get them to trust you, to like you, click your products, check them out, check out your stuff. That's how you build a relationship with people. And so email subscribers are key, and they're free, and it's an amazing tool. And the tool I use for my email subscriber base is Beehive. It's a tool that was built by the folks who were actually running Morning Group. So they were running growth at Morning Group. They grew it to 4 million subscribers. And along

• 47:07Shaan Puri?

  the way, they had to build out all these special tools in-house that made Morning Group great. It helped it grow faster, helped it make more money, helped it nurture the email subscribers. And so they took all those tools that they built internally, and they said, could we provide those as a separate startup for anybody to use and not just Morning Group? And so that's, they made it available to everybody. Because before Beehive, you were duct taping five different apps together. Google Docs, MailChimp, Stripe, a spreadsheet in your dream. It was all bundled together. Well, now Beehive is just one tool that does it. And it's a single purpose thing. It's what I use for my newsletter. I send a newsletter out to over 100,000 people, and that's what I use. And so for listeners of My First Million, they're actually doing a special code. So if you're thinking about, hey, I should have a newsletter, I should have subscribers, I kind of want to build an audience that way,

• 47:49Shaan Puri?

  well, check it out. They'll give you 30% off. Use the code MFM30. Go to Beehive.com, that's B-E-E-H-I-V dot com, and use the code MFM30. I'll put the link in the description to make it easy for you. Start scaling your content today. I want to ask you about 50 Cent because when somebody said, yeah, he wrote a book with 50 Cent. I hadn't actually, I hadn't read the 50th law, so I don't know that book. Literally, I learned about that book today.

• 48:14Sam Parr?

  It's awesome. It looks like it's got like gold pages. It looks like a Bible.

• 48:18Shaan Puri?

  Yeah, I bought like the faux leather cover one just now and I'm like excited to get it. But the funny thing is you and 50 Cent, I mean, I couldn't think of two more opposite people culturally. It's like, you know, like I look at your room and I look at where you are and I'm just like, okay, you're basically like what I think of when I think of an author. And then 50 Cent has this incredible story, you know, coming up from the streets and getting shot and becoming a hip hop icon and then like a business guy and whatever. So I'm just curious, like, A, how did that come about? And B, you said he was incredibly charismatic. Can you tell any specific stories about like either? One of two things, your impressions when you met him and like what stood out to you about this guy? Cause you, you know, you said you're infected by the energy of the people around you.

• 49:02Shaan Puri?

  Like tell me, I would love a specific story. Or where you think most people don't actually really appreciate 50's story? Or, you know, what, what actually he's done? You know, people have a very surface level understanding of him as like, oh, he's just some rapper guy.

• 49:16Speaker 02

  Well, I mean, first of all, you have to understand his, his story a little bit. Let me, a lot of people know it, but you know, he was, his mother died when he was like eight or nine years old. She was a hustler herself. And so he was raised by his grandparents. He grew up on the streets of South Side, Queens. And he was a drug dealer. He was a hustler. He drugged crack and he talks about it. It is his really great autobiography, From Pieces to Weight. I highly recommend that book. Okay. But how many people from that background? Ended up being who he was, being this successful, this multimillionaire, maybe, I don't need, he's not a billionaire, but incredibly successful, right? Nobody.

• 50:01Speaker 02

  So something about him is different. Something about him is very exciting and very interesting. Okay. So that alone tells you something is unique about about fifty. And so when I met him, you know, I was a little bit intimidated because I'm. Did he reach out to you or you to him? Yes, his his literary agent reached out to me and set up a meeting in New York in in the back room of a steakhouse on Madison Avenue. Right. It's like a scene out of The Godfather or something. And so, you know, you can see I'm this kind of thin, slightly nerdy white guy.

• 50:44Speaker 02

  And, you know, he's surrounded with his posse. He's kind of he's buff and he's a little bit intimidated. I was kind of intimidated. But then I learned later on that he was sort of intimidated by me because he thought this he was meeting the forty eight laws of power guy, the sort of Henry Kissinger type. And he was a little bit intimidated as well. But what impressed me most about him was that he was very calm. He has this very calm energy. So people think of him as being really out there, angry, thuggish. But that's not who he is. He's a very calm person. He's always seeking to be in control of a situation.

• 51:23Speaker 02

  He wants power and you don't get power by being out there, being yelling and being angry and being thuggish. So I was very impressed by how kind of thoughtful he was. He's very he's actually a very interesting thinker. And so

• 51:40Speaker 02

  in America, everything is so divided. Everything is just so conventional and boring. It just drives me crazy. Like a book between a nerdy white guy, Jewish white guy from Los Angeles and this rapper from South Side Queens. That's that's that's a really odd mix. That's exactly why you do something like that. To bring two people who are strange, who are very weird. It's not a normal combination. Bring them together, something interesting can happen.

• 52:11Speaker 02

  So yeah, I was with him for about six months and I witnessed some very interesting things. I remember he was on a phone call in, in, in one of his offices and doors were closed, it was just him and I, but he was on a call with a, a, a female celebrity whose name I will not mention. And I was going, man, this guy is a seducer. He is really good at it, right? You know, his voice and what he was saying to her and how he was making her laugh. He was seducing me. It was incredible, right? This guy's got skills in the art of seduction. I could see that right away. I remember once, it

• 52:54Speaker 02

  was in like August, I can't remember what year, like 2006 or so, he was about to drop a, a record and they, they dropped a single that he had done with Robin Thicke, we're going way back here. And it got leaked onto the internet. And Chris Leidy, who was his manager at the time, was furious because they had a whole marketing plan laid out for the rollout of the song. And then it got leaked to the internet, just completely ruined their whole marketing. Everybody was freaking out. They were so upset and angry. What do we do? We're gonna take a lawsuit, we're gonna bring them to court, we're gonna get them to take it off the internet. I was in there and the room went 50, got the news.

• 53:36Speaker 02

  Once again, he was so calm, he was like Buddha. And he goes, no, man, this is the best thing that ever happened to us. Here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna go with it. We're not gonna fight it. We're gonna create a story. They created their own story. We're not gonna try and, and repress it. We're gonna create our own version of what happened. And here's what I'm gonna do. We're gonna create this story that 50 Cent freaked out and was so angry and upset. He took the big screen TV off the, off the wall and he broke it on the ground. He was so angry. He took his cell phone and he threw it at somebody. He said, blood's gonna roll, heads are gonna roll. This is what we're gonna do, right? It was total theatrical. He never, none of it ever happened. He got his team

• 54:19Speaker 02

  to take the big screen TV off the TV, off the wall and, and smash it. And they would film it, you know, as if he had done this. And that was the story now. Instead of 50 reacting and getting all upset, which made him look weak, he turned it around and made it about him and his anger.

• 54:39Speaker 02

  And that's what only the only thing people could talk about in the internet. That was brilliant, right? Instead of freaking out, he was calm. He thought of the internet is all about attention is all about creating stories. I'm going to take control of this and I'm going to create my own story. And I was, I was absolutely amazed, you know, that, that, that to me was the 48 laws of power in action. I mean, I had so many stories with him that, you know, it was one of the most fun elements of my life, you know? Going to parties with him, going to the award ceremony in Vegas, meeting Floyd Mayweather Jr., going to his house in Connecticut. It was a trip, it was like a drug trip. It was amazing. I have lots of stories, but that gives you.

• 55:22Sam Parr?

  Your life's so fascinating because like, you know, Tupac was interested in Machiavelli. And then you 48 laws of power came along and that's like the new version of Machiavelli. I originally saw 48 laws of power because I don't even know if it was true, but there was like a rumor I saw on the internet that there's this book that is banned in prisons because it's so powerful at all the prison. And then I was like, I don't, I don't know if that's true, but like you, I'm hooked. I'm in. Well, if it's banned for prison, it must be the best. And then you're huge in the hip hop community and black community. And I was like, this is, I'm, I'm, I'm in again. I love this. I want to read what these guys are all about. And so you must've had a really exciting life because you are not a person who I would think would be buddies with 50 or whoever else you're friends with.

• 56:06Sam Parr?

  And yet you have the best type of fame where like these guys who normal people admire, they're, those guys admire you. Even the billionaires, the athletes, all the successful people admire you. So you must've met so many awesome people.

• 56:19Speaker 02

  I've met a lot of awesome people and, um, you know, I must say I'm, I'm very, very grateful for my life. It's been a blessing because I struggled for so many years. I know what it's like to struggle in life. I know what it's like to have no success. It came very late for me. So, um, having it at my age, when I was basically 39, 40, almost was very meaningful. So I don't take any of it for granted. And I remember. I was, when I wrote the Forty Eight Laws of Power, I was living in this crappy one-bedroom apartment in Santa Monica. I mean, it was by the ocean, so you can't complain. But it was a really kind of small, cramped little apartment.

• 57:02Speaker 02

  Because I, as I said, I had no success. I wrote the Forty Eight Laws of Power in that apartment. And then suddenly, you know, I'm on television, things are happening. Okay, it's a little bit weird. But then I was invited to Italy in early, like, four or five months after it came out, because it came out in Italian, you know, the land of Machiavelli. And I'm invited to go give this kind of conference. And suddenly, this guy is whisking me around to meet all these celebrities. And we're on the island of Capri. And paparazzi are following me and taking pictures of me. And I get to meet the ex-prime minister of Italy,

• 57:45Speaker 02

  who's a very famous person there, named Andreotti, since passed away. The most Machiavellian Italian politician of the modern era. I'm sitting in his office, I'm interviewing him. You know, man, my life right now, just five months ago, it was nothing. And now I'm doing this. It was almost too hard to believe. So I take none of it for granted. It's been, it's been an incredible ride, and I'm very grateful.

• 58:13Shaan Puri?

  What triggered the transformation in you? Most people don't have this sort of career renaissance, where you figure it out, you put it together, and you start suddenly, you go from a sort of nondescript, you know, situation to suddenly you're in this guy's office in Italy, in the island of Capri. You know, what triggered the transformation in you at age thirty-seven, thirty-eight?

• 58:34Speaker 02

  Well, a bit of luck. So I, you know, I had spent all of these years. I wasn't a loser. I worked at Esquire magazine in New York. I had jobs in journalism. I lived in New York for several years. I worked, you know, I had jobs. I lived in Europe, and I wandered around, you know. But I was always writing and trying to figure life out. I never gave up on myself. I learned different skills at writing. I also had lots of shit jobs with very bad bosses.

• 59:08Speaker 02

  So when I was thirty five years old, I was in Italy on a project that I won't even discuss. It was so stupid. I met a man there who was there for the same project, who was a book packager. And we were both really unhappy with what we were doing there. We were walking in Venice, Italy. And he's Dutch and he asked me if I had an idea for a book.

• 59:36Speaker 02

  And that was the turning point in my life to put it down into one like second of time. That exact moment in Venice, Italy, in July of nineteen ninety five. He asked me that question and everything clicked. I improvised what would turn into the forty eight laws of power. All of my bad jobs, all of my horrible bosses with their egos and their political games. All the crap that I had dealt with in Hollywood, because I had worked in Hollywood for years.

• 1:00:10Speaker 02

  Just came flowing out of me, almost like I was vomiting. And I said, you know, power, the book about power, how timeless it is. In the time of Louis XIV, if you made a mistake, you were put in prison and you were executed. Now, if you make a mistake, the same mistake, you're fired. It's the same game, you're just not as bloody. Right? And I told him a story about Louis XIV and his finance minister, the opening story of the forty eight laws of power. He got very excited and he goes, this will be a great book. I will pay you to write a treatment for it and then we'll try and sell it.

• 1:00:51Speaker 02

  And I was so desperate, I was so hungry, I was so depressed that I came back to Los Angeles. I actually borrowed money from my parents so I could I could afford to try and write this treatment because he was actually offering money once he had the treatments. I was so desperate and so depressed that I put every goddamn ounce of energy I had into it, all of my bad experiences in life, everything that I had been through, all the skills I had developed, I just poured into that treatment. It was literally get rich or die trying at that moment. And I wrote a great treatment. He loved it and the rest is history. So part

• 1:01:31Speaker 02

  of it was luck. If I hadn't met this man, I wouldn't be here talking with you. But part of it was, I never gave up. And I had spent those sixteen, eighteen years in the wilderness developing skills. So that's what helped turn it around.

• 1:01:48Sam Parr?

  That's so awesome. And I think I've read that, I don't know how many books you've sold in general of all of your books, of your seven or eight books, but I think I read that the Four Eight Laws of Power came out in two thousand or ninety-eight. I think it's accelerated, right? So isn't it selling more this year or last year than it did early on?

• 1:02:05Speaker 02

  I'd say twenty twenty-four was best year we've ever had. It was insane. It's accelerated. Yeah. And I think we're now close to ten million copies sold in the United States alone.

• 1:02:19Sam Parr?

  Oh, my God. It's pretty crazy to have like a life's work, right? I mean, that's like, like, I don't know if you meant to do this, but like you've, it's a timeless thing that can be readable and awesome for fifty or a hundred years.

• 1:02:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, you know, you never know when you write a book like that. It's a very weird book. And that could be good or it could be bad. It looks strange, you know, the design of it with the things on the side and everything broken up. It has all these stories from history. For better or for worse, I can say nobody else has written a book that looks like that or reads like that, right? And it could have easily failed. It could have easily bombed. I, you know, I remember, God, am I gonna have to go back to, to working at some crap job after this book is a disaster? Uh, yeah, maybe, maybe you'll have to like go back to doing temp work or something.

• 1:03:15Speaker 02

  So it could have easily been a disaster, but it didn't. And so, um, it's one of those strange things. It's very, a lot of it's luck, but all of it also it's how much effort I put into the work to make it kind of this timeless thing. So, um, yeah, it's, it's, it's insane because you never know in life what's gonna be successful or what's not.

• 1:03:40Shaan Puri?

  I wanted to ask you about daily application of, of the ideas from 48 Laws of Power. Because it's one thing to read a book, to nod along, maybe even underline it. And then you close the book and you go back to being exactly the person who you are, which would be, I think, a pretty disappointing outcome. And I think about these day to day situations I get in. I'm in my car, I'm in traffic, I'm in a grocery store, I'm at a coffee shop, I'm having a, a, a, I'm just yet another meeting at work, whatever it is. I'm curious, what's one law that you think is easily applicable to people's day to day life? To their normal routines of their life that they could kind of mark in their mind like, oh, he mentioned that situation.

• 1:04:20Shaan Puri?

  Let me approach it differently, using what he's, using one of Robert's sort of laws of human nature and laws of, of, of, of power.

• 1:04:28Speaker 02

  Okay, well, the, the try this is to get out of the moment and to be observing the situation that's in front of you. So, so often you're just reacting to things, you're just in the moment, you're just listening to what people are saying. You're just in your own head, your own thoughts, your own ideas that circle around and round and round, your own emotions, which what you're happened to you in the morning, you're not listening. And I want you to turn around. And pay deep attention and not to listen to yourself at all, to cut that off completely and to absorb your interest, your mind, your spirit in the people you're dealing with.

• 1:05:11Speaker 02

  This pertains to power, this pertains to seduction, this pertains to strategy, this pertains to war and to human nature, to all of my books, right? You're too self-absorbed. So even when you go to Starbucks and you're getting your coffee, you're thinking about your own problems, you're thinking about how much prices for coffee is going up. Okay, no, what you do is you look at that barista and you go, what is it like to be him or her? What is their world like? You know, it's kind of weird that, you know, probably, let's say it's a guy, probably this is not his life's task, he's got some other interests. What's going on in his mind in this moment?

• 1:05:56Speaker 02

  Try and read his body language and go into this almost like fantasy story in your head of what he's like, what his apartment looks like, what his girlfriend looks like, what his dog looks like. And think about it. Get out of yourself, okay? Do that again and again and again and again in every situation. It will calm you down, it will be a form of therapy for you. It will also make you a superior observer of people. It'll make you a superior observer of human nature. It will make you understand that people say that they love your ideas, but their body language actually reveals that they're not interested at all.

• 1:06:37Speaker 02

  You'll become a superior reader of people and you won't be so self-absorbed, right? That is the number one skill you can develop is to get outside of yourself and to be a supreme acute observer of people.

• 1:06:51Shaan Puri?

  Sam, have you ever done anything like that?

• 1:06:53Sam Parr?

  I think I'm a very emotional person. And I get upset, but like, for example, the other day I got a ticket, like a parking ticket, and I caught the guy giving me the ticket. And so I had like this interaction and like, I was like, I want to yell at you. I want to do this, I want to do that. And I was like, wait, hold on, I gotta think about, I gotta reflect. What does this guy want to be doing with his time right now? And how do I use my insight into his perspective to get out of the situation? As opposed to saying, you suck, you're, this is, go solve a real crime, whatever. And so, but I think, but related to that, the thing before you have to do that is to control your emotions, which I work hard and I fail at all the time. But that, that's what it's kind of rooted in, I think.

• 1:07:36Sam Parr?

  Or that's like the foundational like step, which is like, don't react, reflect.

• 1:07:42Speaker 02

  The other side of it is that the guy who's giving you your parking ticket, you know, he's got his own life, he's got his own world. Yeah, it's annoying as hell. You feel so helpless, so stupid, why you have, you're right there, but he's still gonna write the ticket, you know, why couldn't you wait like three minutes? Oh no, it's already written, you can't, you can't go back. But the people you deal with are interesting, they're weird, they're different, they have their own life, they have, he's, he's this poor schlub who's got this miserable job. Everybody hates him like you do. He's got to receive all of this hate and negative energy from people. Then he has to go back to his apartment somewhere in Queens.

• 1:08:26Speaker 02

  And you know, and, and other people are kind of, you know, yelling at him. He's got all this internalized anguish and anxiety. Get into the story of other people because they're interesting, they're weird. I know I'm making this up. I never met this guy giving you the ticket, or if it's a woman. But it's fun to think about it, it's fun to get out of it, it's fun to imagine what they're like. And then you slowly start developing this muscle, where you start thinking about other people and not yourself, and getting into their stories and figuring out what makes them tick. So if you need to seduce them, if you need to get this guy giving you a ticket to not give you a ticket. You have the way to do it because you understand who he is.

• 1:09:10Speaker 02

  You understand how much negative attention this guy gets every single day he's out on his job. And your first reaction will be, man, that must be a terrible job. I'm so sorry for you. You say something that kind of disarms him. Well, maybe now you have the power to get him to stop writing that ticket. Whereas opposed to your aggressive energy. Fuck, man, I do with that. Every single person gives that to me. I'm not gonna still write. I'm gonna still write your ticket just to spite you, you a-hole. No, you diffuse the situation by coming up to him with like, man, you must have a horrible job. I'm really sorry that you, I don't know, whatever it is. You know, that's the approach.

• 1:09:47Sam Parr?

  Well, have you ever read Chris Voss's book, Never Split the Difference? Like, if there was any takeaway, it's basically, so Chris Voss was like a FBI negotiator and he teaches people to negotiate. And like, the main thing that he teaches is exactly what you said, which is, don't react to what you hear. Put yourself in their shoes and actually verbalize and label how they feel. And that's an immediate disarming thing to get what you want, basically. And Sean, I don't know, you know, like me and Sean have both talked about the book, The Game, which I assume you know all about, Neil Strauss. And for a 14-year-old boy, that was like the greatest thing ever. Because we like desperately wanted to meet girls and it was like a very pop,

• 1:10:29Sam Parr?

  pop, poppy way of like learning about it. It was like easy to learn and read about. But you have a book, is it, I have to remember the numbers, 33 Rules of Seduction? Is that it?

• 1:10:39Speaker 02

  No, it's called The Art of Seduction.

• 1:10:41Sam Parr?

  Art of Seduction, 33 Laws of War. I'm getting them a bunch of, I'm getting them confused. But you have a whole book on seduction, which like, I wish I would have read this when I was younger. Because like, you outline like all these interesting ways, basically, seduction not meaning just sleep with people, but like seduce someone into like, basically doing what you want them to do. And it gives like, actually, it gives like, your books, Sean, Robert's books are pretty great. They like tell you the history, but then they also, the history of like a person who's a story of this rule. But then you outline like the tactics and strategy, which is like the best format. And so that was that was another winner and it taught all these like tactics on like seducing

• 1:11:24Sam Parr?

  people or getting them to like buy into your whatever you want them to be up by.

• 1:11:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, I know Neil Strauss and I, you know, he talked, he quotes the art of seduction in the game. But the art of seduction is different. It's not a book for pickup artists. It's a book for making people fall in love with you. It's a book for making people interested in you. It makes a book, it's a book for people who you want to like fund your project or who you want to hire you. It also is something that you maybe want to seduce a woman or a man for for sex or whatever, yes. But seduction is something that you do every single day of your life, right? You're always bad at it or you're good at it, but you're always constantly having to

• 1:12:11Speaker 02

  make people like you in some way or other. So I wanted to come up with the ultimate psychology of what it makes people, what draws people to you and what repulses people from you. So, so that's what the art of seduction is about.

• 1:12:26Sam Parr?

  Did it make you more likable? Were you, uh, were, were?

• 1:12:29Speaker 02

  Me personally?

• 1:12:30Sam Parr?

  Pre and post? Yeah, was pre and post, uh, Robert, different?

• 1:12:35Speaker 02

  I, uh, I got interested in seduction in the eighties when I, well, obviously I was a young man, uh, you know, and I was living in Paris. I was 22, I was working in a hotel in Paris where all the models stayed for the, for the fashion weeks or whatever. The most beautiful women in the world were staying at this hotel at 22 years old, you know, and God, it was insane. And there was this guy who would come by, it was like shooting fish in a barrel. He knew that these were all these incredibly beautiful women were. He was this tall, good looking Brazilian guy. He was so good at the seduction game. I was fascinated by it.

• 1:13:17Speaker 02

  How come he could get all of these women to go out with him on dates and I couldn't do anything? I couldn't get anywhere. I kind of got interested in it. And then I started reading books, literature about it, and I kind of got fascinated by the whole phenomenon of seduction. And I went through my twenties. What I would call my years as a rake, where I was, you know, I was fairly successful at meeting and seducing women, not on his level, not on 50 Cent's level, but on my own level, I was pretty good at the game. And so I was fascinated by years before I wrote the book. And then when I had the chance to write it,

• 1:13:59Speaker 02

  you know, all of my, all of that knowledge and experience came into, into writing the book. So of my own failures and some of my own successes. So it's been something that had been on my mind for many, many years.

• 1:14:12Shaan Puri?

  In general, how self-actualized do you feel like you are in these different book categories? Power, seduction, et cetera. Like, are you, if a 10 is kind of like what you think is somebody who's sort of maximally doing these things, maybe the best examples of people you've, you've met or, or have read about, where do you put yourself and, and is book writing an effective way to move up that ladder? You know what I mean? Does, did the study and the process of writing it actually help?

• 1:14:39Speaker 02

  Well, a, a writer is a writer. I'm not out there running for political office. I'm not, you know, on a stage entertaining people. I'm a writer. Okay? So you judge me by that barometer and not by other things. And I talk about, I think about like Machiavelli himself. He was this mid-level diplomat in, in Florence in the early part of the 16th century. He was not successful. He was not powerful. He came from the middle classes. And then he aligned himself with the Republic of Florence. And then when the Medici's came back into power,

• 1:15:21Speaker 02

  he was in disgrace and he was in, he was imprisoned briefly. And he went off into the countryside. And to get himself back in power, he wrote a book called The Prince. Right? This was going to ingratiate himself with the Medici's and maybe get him so he could come back and be a diplomat again. Okay? That one book that he wrote, some hundred pages long.

• 1:15:45Speaker 02

  Can you, you cannot quantify the influence that that one book has had, right? It's insane. I mean, maybe next to the Bible, you can't think of another book that has had greater impact. All of the historical figures since Machiavelli, who read the prince, who internalized the lessons, who loved him or hated him, who reacted against him or for him. If you had to measure that power, it's insane. It's off the charts. And yet, he never made any money from it. He never realized that power. But that is true power, true influence in the world.

• 1:16:24Speaker 02

  So we can look at all the people around us who we imagine is having power with all their money and their billions. But ideas are the most powerful thing in this world, okay? You can put all you want price tags on, on, on material things. But something completely immaterial, an idea, is what is most powerful in this world. So when somebody has an idea for a great business, or Steve Jobs has an idea for a new iPod, it's in his head, it's in his brain, he's thinking, and then it becomes reality. That is power. The power of thinking, of ideas,

• 1:17:07Speaker 02

  is greater than all the other nonsense in this world. So I can't dunk a basketball unlike Sam. I, I can't dance very well at all. I can't sing. I have a stroke, so my body is kind of messed up right now. But on the level of ideas, I have tremendous amount of power and influence. And I, and I know it because of people writing to me. I'm not bragging at all. It's just very real. So on that barometer, I have actualized it. It's not whether I can go out there and command an army or become president, because that's not my game. My game is ideas.

• 1:17:47Speaker 02

  And on that level, I have actualized myself. I have realized my life's task and my power. And after I die, I'm not going to be like Machiavelli with his 600 years of influence, but I will have some influence over people after I die. That is power. That is ideas. Ideas shape this world. And people have lost that kind of lesson. They're so into material things that they don't understand the spiritual, intellectual power of thinking, which can change this world.

• 1:18:20Sam Parr?

  That's a good ass answer. That was a great, I mean, that was a great answer.

• 1:18:23Shaan Puri?

  Do you have your one liner of your life's task? I'm just curious.

• 1:18:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, to change, to change people, to change how they think and to change how people act. That's always been my, my goal here. You know, um, there's too much kind of stupidity. There's too much kind of people who don't understand themselves, who don't understand power. I'm not saying I'm superior in that game. Because believe me, I've made many, many mistakes. Never outshined the master. I violated that law at least two times, maybe even three times. I'm a flawed human being, so I'm not the epitome of the 48 laws of power. But I've witnessed people being so stupid, being so single minded, being so inflexible,

• 1:19:11Speaker 02

  so unable to adapt, that it infuriates me that they don't understand how to actually operate in this world. So I'm trying, my books, my life's task is to enlighten people on that front.

• 1:19:27Sam Parr?

  Are you a happy person? Like, um, because when I, whenever I read your books, it's a very serious topic and you spend your life reading and writing about very serious things. Does, are you able to find joy in that and be happy?

• 1:19:39Speaker 02

  Well, you know, happiness is, is just a word. And, um, you know, we live in our bodies and ourselves and our emotions. And, you know, at some hour in the morning, I'll be very happy and excited. And then two hours later, something will be frustrating. So we all go up and down, up and down.

• 1:20:02Speaker 02

  But I like to talk about fulfillment as opposed to happiness. A sense that I fulfilled, you know, I have a sense of fulfillment that I accomplished something. And I have a very high sense of fulfillment. So right now, I'm writing a book. It's very frustrating. I can't type because I had a stroke. I can't take hikes. My life is very limited right now. But I get to write this book. And it involves so much tedium and so much difficulty. But then I pull back and I go, wow, man. What a privilege this is. And this is a book I hope that's going to change people on a very deep level. So on the micro level of happiness.

• 1:20:44Speaker 02

  I have a lot of frustration. I have a lot of tedium. I have a lot of things that I wish were otherwise. But on the level of happiness, of fulfillment, when you pull back over a course of months or years. It's off the charts. I have an incredible sense of accomplishment. Particularly this book here. It's a book on supply. Been working on it for six years. You have no idea the things I've had to overcome to write this book. Right? Physically, the challenges have been insane. As I said, I can't type. I have to handwrite everything. I have to edit in handwriting. It's a mess. And then I have to dictate it in the computer. Then I have to edit it with one hand.

• 1:21:27Speaker 02

  I can't take a hike to clear my mind. I'm just trapped in my body and my office. And yet I've written the book. And so I'm going to feel so proud of that, what I had to overcome. That, to me, that's more important than happiness, you know, that sense, because it's very it's something where happiness comes and goes, but a sense of fulfillment, it just sort of stays with you for a long time.

• 1:21:54Sam Parr?

  You've had such a huge impact on me. You know, when I was in my twenties and to this day still, you've had a really big impact on me. So I'm personally very like honored and thankful to be able to talk to you. But predominantly, the people who listen to this are young men in their twenties. And I hope that we've kind of been the gateway drug for that because we have a lot of awesome people on here. But not everyone is necessarily wise or intentional, which I think you have that in space. I think that's kind of your thing, which is you seem very intentional, very wise and very calm. And I find that to be, and it kind of infects me a little bit and rubs off on me. So we appreciate you doing this. You're, you're awesome. Hopefully, you know, I think you said your goal was to change people.

• 1:22:36Sam Parr?

  You've changed me and hopefully this is a gateway drug to introduce you to even more people who you could potentially change.

• 1:22:41Speaker 02

  I appreciate that, you know, I don't take it for granted being invited to these podcasts. I know sometimes I can be a little bit difficult because my schedule is a little bit full. But I'm very grateful to have audiences like this, you know? So thank you so much for allowing me to do this, for allowing me to just blow hot air for an hour and a half.

• 1:23:03Shaan Puri?

  I mean, look at this. This is you're in the business of ideas and influencer.

• 1:23:06Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 1:23:07Shaan Puri?

  I'm on the podcast. I'm supposed to be talking. I'm supposed to be paying attention and I'm sitting here furiously writing notes to myself of small nuggets of wisdom, little, little golden nuggets that you were dropping. So thank you for coming on.

• 1:23:20Speaker 02

  Thank you so much for having me.

• 1:23:21Sam Parr?

  Thank you. That's it. That's the pod.

• 1:23:34Sam Parr?

  My friends, if you like MFM, then you're going to like the following podcast. It's called Billion Dollar Moves. And of course, it's brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network, the number one audio destination for business professionals. Billion Dollar Moves. It's hosted by Sarah Chen Spelling. Sarah is a venture capitalist and strategist. And with Billion Dollar Moves, she wants to look at unicorn founders and funders. And she looks for what she calls the unexpected leader. Many of them were underestimated long before they became huge and successful and iconic. She does it with unfiltered conversations about success, failure, fear, courage, and all that great stuff. So again, if you like My First Million, check out Billion Dollar Moves. It's brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network. Again, Billion Dollar Moves. All right, back to the episode.