Giggling about roasts, road rage, and heartburn

Hannah finally took off the windbreaker and Paige has the schedule of an infant. For the great sleep you deserve, visit Mattress Firm. They make sleep easy www.mattressfirm.com subscribe to our newsletter

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Hannah Berner?

  I was thinking about how women have so many little things we have to do when we're getting home that you have to be aware of.

• 0:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, so many people have my location.

• 0:08Hannah Berner?

  And you have to share your ETA, you have to check the route, you have to text everyone, "I'm home."

• 0:12Paige DeSorbo?

  And if your friend like doesn't text you, "Oh, you got home," you're calling the FBI.

• 0:17Hannah Berner?

  Yep, yep. And we joke about it because it's so normal to us, but you're constantly paying attention. And even when you're exhausted and just want to get home, your brain still has to be on. You're like, is this guy going the right route? Am I in the right place? Who's around me? What's happening?

• 0:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, there's truly no clocking out of your safety.

• 0:34Hannah Berner?

  And that's why riding in a Waymo feels different. It's an autonomous ride with an empty driver's seat. So, once you get in, you have this private space that's actually just yours.

• 0:42Paige DeSorbo?

  And you know, I love alone time, and I truly feel like it's such a luxury in a Waymo.

• 0:46Hannah Berner?

  Especially after being social. Like, I love everyone, but like...

• 0:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Please, nobody speak to me.

• 0:51Hannah Berner?

  Like, give me 20 minutes. I want music, the right temperature. There's no compromising. And you can customize the ride, put on your own music, answer texts you ignored all night, stare out the window. You actually have a minute where you're not thinking about everyone else.

• 1:04Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's the thing. It's not even necessarily about doing something. Sometimes it's just, you want to sit there and not speak.

• 1:11Hannah Berner?

  And put your guard down for a second and feel safe.

• 1:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Which truly, women deserve.

• 1:16Hannah Berner?

  We deserve to disassociate safely for 20 minutes.

• 1:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I mean, put that on a t-shirt, for real.

• 1:22Hannah Berner?

  And obviously, safety is a huge part of why that feeling matters. Knowing Waymo's safer, there's something refreshing in having that space where you can just be yourself and let Waymo handle the driving.

• 1:31Paige DeSorbo?

  And we spend enough of our lives being on.

• 1:34Hannah Berner?

  Exactly.

• 1:34Paige DeSorbo?

  We don't need to be on in the car.

• 1:37Hannah Berner?

  Getting around shouldn't require so much mental energy. And if this sounds like your ideal way to get around too, download the Waymo app and use code GIGLY to get 20% off your next two rides. You can check out the full terms in the app.

• 1:49Paige DeSorbo?

  We love a discount.

• 1:51Hannah Berner?

  And if Waymo isn't in your city yet, head to waymo.com/gigly to sign up and help bring Waymo to you.

• 1:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, remember when I told you how excited I was about Lululemon dropping their fall collection on September 8th? Well, the collection is finally here and I just got my hands on a few pieces and let's just say these will be in my rotation on repeat. I got the Groove Yoga Bra and the High Rise Matching Short. They're so buttery soft. They have laser cut pocket openings for optional and removable cups, which I love that because sometimes I don't want to have a bra insert when I'm working out, but sometimes I do. Performance never compromises style at Lululemon. I love their vintage-inspired styles and everything comes in such an assortment of colors. So if you don't want to stick to black, which is my traditional go-to, you can explore other colors. Like, I love a burgundy workout set. New styles from Lululemon's fall collection are here.

• 2:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Popular colors go fast, so be on the lookout for those drops. And if something doesn't work out for you, free returns always. That's lululemon.com, lululemon.com.

• 2:51Hannah Berner?

  This episode is sponsored by Cars.com. I feel like your car says a lot about you. It's transportation, storage, and honestly, kind of a personality test. Maybe you need something for weekend road trips, something you can actually parallel park in the city, or just enough trunk space for an emergency outfit and backup shoes. Personally, I like options and I'm very specific. So this is where Cars.com comes in. Cars.com has the tools that make your car shopping way less overwhelming. With more than 200 advanced search filters, you can narrow things down based on what actually matters to you. Deal badges help show how fairly a vehicle's priced, so you can browse with more confidence and fewer chaotic tabs open, which I think we can all appreciate. Start your search with Cars.com. Where to next?

• 3:37Speaker 02

  Sup, gigglers? Gary, fix your wifi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

• 3:47Speaker 02

  I mean, the day just got away from me.

• 3:50Hannah Berner?

  What is up my goulash gigglers? Do you know goulash is?

• 3:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Um, it's feeling very fall.

• 3:56Hannah Berner?

  You've no, it ac- it is fall. I was gonna say you have no culture, but it is fall.

• 3:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Isn't it like ground beef?

• 4:01Hannah Berner?

  It's a Hungarian dish.

• 4:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 4:03Hannah Berner?

  Anyway, welcome to the pod. There's been so many women of summer of the week, like,

• 4:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I,

• 4:07Hannah Berner?

  Now that they know it's a thing, I feel like the women are like,

• 4:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Canceled. No, truly, I think this segment is done. We did, in true giggly squad fashion, we beat it, the dead horse, like.

• 4:19Hannah Berner?

  Can I do one, another one, though?

• 4:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 4:22Hannah Berner?

  Okay, so this video's going around, going viral of this woman's shopping in Target, and she's being filmed, and you're from the, whatever, anyway. A girl comes, sees she's being filmed by a man,

• 4:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 4:36Hannah Berner?

  And goes, "Excuse me, that man's filming you."

• 4:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, like, looking out for her?

• 4:40Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, like, "That man's filming you. Are you okay?" And the girl turns, she's like, "Oh, my God, that's my husband. Like, it's okay." And the girl, like, still doesn't believe her, like, blinked twice if he's, like, "You're being trafficked." And she's like, "It's my husband, I swear." And she's like, "Okay," and then she stops and she recommends a product that she's looking at. And she's like, "That's actually really good. Don't get that one. It's overpriced," and then walks away. And I was like, girlhood maxing.

• 5:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I saw a similar situation like this happen. I wasn't involved in any of it, but I was bystander. I'm across the street from a, like, nursery school, like preschool. I watch a dad walk his daughter into, like, the gated area, and there was, like, a teacher there. He dropped her off with the teacher. He walked out of the gated area. He's on the sidewalk. The little girl's, like, in the play area with the teacher.

• 5:36Hannah Berner?

  You've lost me already, by the way.

• 5:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Why was I telling that so monotone? Sorry, I was making sure you weren't losing me, and that's...

• 5:47Hannah Berner?

  I got lost in your eyes. I was like, "That's really pretty mascara." If I can't see something visually, I can't understand it.

• 5:55Paige DeSorbo?

  That's why I was using my hands.

• 5:56Hannah Berner?

  I know, but, okay, so there's a-

• 5:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Kit walks in play area, dad play area walks out, okay? So the dad's leaving. He's like waving to the daughter, like, see ya after school. He's on the sidewalk. He's kind of like lingering on the sidewalk now for like five minutes. He's like on his phone a little bit. He's just standing there. He's watching the daughter play. From an outside perspective, if outside perspective, if you didn't watch him-

• 6:25Hannah Berner?

  Drop her off.

• 6:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Drop her off, you'd be like, who is this guy on the sidewalk just watching this little girl play? A car pulls up, a woman is in the car, she yells, "Hey, what's going on here?" The teacher inside of like the school is like, "Everything's okay." And then I don't know what the dad said, because I couldn't hear, but he turned to the car. But I was like, woman in style.

• 6:52Hannah Berner?

  Actually, I saw an article about a man who adopted his own child without a wife or a girlfriend. And people were like, mind blown, because it's true. How many men do you hear like, "I couldn't find the right person, so I just-"

• 7:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Like a single dad.

• 7:07Hannah Berner?

  So I just wanted to adopt.

• 7:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Or like a single guy who gets a surrogate.

• 7:11Hannah Berner?

  Yes, yes, I think that's what happened.

• 7:13Paige DeSorbo?

  You never hear those stories. They're definitely out there.

• 7:16Hannah Berner?

  They're out there, but-

• 7:17Paige DeSorbo?

  We've never come, it's not one that's come across my desk. Somebody, you know, it did come across my desk. Someone was like, Paige, Ryan Murphy did make a Monica Lewinsky show.

• 7:26Hannah Berner?

  No, people were messaging me, they were like, "Last episode was the most chaotic episode you guys have ever had on Geeky Squad." And they were like, Paige made up a show that's already been made.

• 7:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Genius idea.

• 7:36Hannah Berner?

  You casted the entire show accurately with the director, the showrunner, the main cast. She goes, "What if?" This is crazy. Do you think you saw it and it just like subconsciously was in your-

• 7:46Paige DeSorbo?

  I had to have. But someone said it was a one season of American Horror Story. It wasn't like, it's not like the JFK Junior. It wasn't like advertised as its own show. I want like a-

• 7:59Hannah Berner?

  A real Monica Lewinsky.

• 8:03Paige DeSorbo?

  I want like multiple seasons.

• 8:05Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 8:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Anyway, hi, how are you?

• 8:08Hannah Berner?

  I'm good. I walked here and it really threw me.

• 8:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 8:13Hannah Berner?

  It got really hot.

• 8:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, I don't know why you do stuff like that to yourself. I was not walking here, but I was getting out of the Uber and there was two girls in front of me walking down the street and all girls have the same conversation. It doesn't matter who you are, where you live, or who you're friends with. We literally all have the same conversation. And the girl turned to her friend and she said, "Well, my mom said", I forget what the girl's name was. "My mom said, 'I think he's cheating on you with a man.'" So she's like, "So..." And then she started talking Spanish. "So I don't know the end of the story."

• 8:48Hannah Berner?

  You know the end of the story because you lived it.

• 8:53Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, "Look, if your mom's throwing out that accusation, she sat there for a while. She thought, 'Should I even say this?'" So the fact that she said it, and now we've said it, it's 100% fact. It's factual. It's true. That guy's girlfriend, that girl's boyfriend was cheating on her.

• 9:12Hannah Berner?

  Shout out to her and her mom for being investigative journalists during this time. To continue on last episode.

• 9:18Paige DeSorbo?

  To piggyback if you will.

• 9:19Hannah Berner?

  To piggyback, yes. I was where... You just call me Pig.

• 9:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry, did we get over you walking here too quickly?

• 9:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Did we pass by that too?

• 9:31Hannah Berner?

  My problem is I have one speed when I walk and I'm not trying to be like, "I'm a New Yorker. I walk fast." I think I just have anxiety and I'm like, "If we're walking, we're walking."

• 9:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Nature, yeah.

• 9:39Hannah Berner?

  I'm not like slowly walking anywhere unless I'm on like... No, I'm not. Unless I'm like with a dog who needs to pee, I'm not stopping. So, which I've never been walking a dog. So, after the show, I got back to like this like chic, cool West Hollywood hotel. And I don't know, there's something about like after a long night in heels, like they just...

• 10:00Paige DeSorbo?

  After our show.

• 10:00Hannah Berner?

  After our show. It's a different heel than you started the night with. Like you've, it feels completely different.

• 10:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 10:08Hannah Berner?

  And it was like the heels are a little big for me and like they just couldn't stay on my feet. So I had to walk through this like, and it wasn't just a lobby. It was like a lobby chic bar, which was like bright with like pool tables and couches. And everyone's just lounging in LA is so like whenever anyone walks in, everyone has to like look you up and down.

• 10:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 10:27Hannah Berner?

  So I'm like, "I have to walk 100 feet."

• 10:31Hannah Berner?

  In these heels and I swear to God, I was like, everyone was like laughing at me because I was a deer in headlights. I couldn't walk, but I was like, it's YSL and I was just like trying to.

• 10:43Paige DeSorbo?

  It's YSL windbreaker.

• 10:45Hannah Berner?

  But what do you do when you're wearing uncomfortable heels and everyone's looking at you? Like, how do you maneuver that athletically? Especially because you famously say that you can fit into any size shoe.

• 10:56Paige DeSorbo?

  When I was in ninth grade, my mom held a class in my kitchen for all my girlfriends who could not walk in.

• 11:07Hannah Berner?

  She didn't have my number at the time.

• 11:10Paige DeSorbo?

  I've ne- I think because, look, you started sport as a, at a young age, so like you're really good at tennis. When I first saw heels as a child, I was like, yeah, I love, whatever the fuck those things are, I love them. So I've been truly walking in heels since kindergarten.

• 11:29Hannah Berner?

  You know what it is, heels are like ice skates. You either were raised skating or you don't know how to use them. Because I'm like, I'm athletic, I can walk in a heel. No, I can't.

• 11:39Paige DeSorbo?

  It's honestly, it's practice.

• 11:41Hannah Berner?

  Because I'm not hugging it in the right way, like, I don't know.

• 11:44Paige DeSorbo?

  You're not gripping at the right time.

• 11:45Hannah Berner?

  I'm not gripping and then I also like, it hurts my toenail. I also have a wide foot.

• 11:51Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm trying to like picture how I do it. I guess when your toe is about to come up off the ground, that's when you grip.

• 11:58Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I'm not, I do not have the right gripping situation. It's almost like SoulCycle when like, I know what I'm supposed to do with the rhythm of the flow, but like, you gotta practice.

• 12:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, it's also, it's also kind of like diving into a pool. You can't just go. You have to start out small. So you really have to start out with like a kitten. To walk around and then you have to build yourself up to like a five inch stiletto. You can just be born in a stiletto.

• 12:29Hannah Berner?

  I think we've all been there where you see a shoe you like and I'm like, I'm buying it. And you put it on, you're like, I look great, but you didn't factor in like that you have to move in it.

• 12:37Paige DeSorbo?

  And if a shoe is a little bit too big and you're not experienced in walking in a heel, you can't do it. I'd actually even say go smaller.

• 12:43Hannah Berner?

  This might, this might be too niche, but I'm an eight in sneakers.

• 12:46Paige DeSorbo?

  I was just gonna ask.

• 12:47Hannah Berner?

  I think I'm a 7.5 in heels and I've been telling everyone I'm an eight and it's actually not my fault. I've just been sabotaging myself.

• 12:52Paige DeSorbo?

  That's what it is. I think your shoes are a little bit too big for your feet.

• 12:56Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, because they were falling off as I was walking.

• 12:58Paige DeSorbo?

  You feel like you have clown feet.

• 13:00Hannah Berner?

  Yes, and there was this like Pete Davidson looking character like.

• 13:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh no.

• 13:05Hannah Berner?

  He was like six, four with a weird fucking mustache and like hair grown out.

• 13:09Paige DeSorbo?

  And he was judging you?

• 13:10Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, he was like looking at, I was like, don't fucking look at me, take your shower, like leave me alone. Oh my god, it was so embarrassing. And I was on such a high that night, like I was like, I'm best friends with Kate and Mindy loves me or hates me, we don't know.

• 13:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 13:24Hannah Berner?

  And then I like lost all my confidence walking back into my room.

• 13:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Did you watch the Kevin Hart roast?

• 13:29Hannah Berner?

  Yes, I watched it from the beginning because I'm, I'm a researcher of the art of comedy.

• 13:34Paige DeSorbo?

  They will give men as much time on live TV as they want. Once we hit hour three, I was like, okay, wrap it the fuck up. Why was it so long? They like really went for it.

• 13:48Hannah Berner?

  I think, I don't think Chelsea Handler got the respect she deserved.

• 13:52Paige DeSorbo?

  No, she didn't.

• 13:53Hannah Berner?

  If Chelsea Handler was a man on that stage, she would have had a rock entrance. And by the way, The Rock like came up out of the ground and there were like fireworks and he got like carried to the stage.

• 14:03Paige DeSorbo?

  I thought he did horrible too.

• 14:06Hannah Berner?

  Well, he was drunk and did thirty minutes. There were good jokes in it.

• 14:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 14:11Hannah Berner?

  But he, he, it's live. I think they should have, why do they have to do it live?

• 14:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, wait. So when we were at the Netflix branch, like sometimes I truly forget. Sometimes I feel like there are situations where I think about, oh my god, I'm nervous, I don't have any confidence in this moment. And then there are other times where like it just.

• 14:32Hannah Berner?

  You have too much confidence?

• 14:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, and like I'll take a step back and I'll be like, maybe, shut your mouth. Like maybe you shouldn't be so confident in this area that you have no, you have no idea about. Maybe, and it's not until it's an afterthought, which is not great.

• 14:51Paige DeSorbo?

  We're at the Netflix brunch. This lovely man comes up to me. He says hi. He gives me his job title. Pretty high up at Netflix in unscripted. And we're chatting, we're going back and forth. And he didn't ask me what I thought about their live reunions, but let me tell you something. I told him what I thought. We're talking about like reality TV and we're talking about reunions specifically.

• 15:14Hannah Berner?

  By the way, no one's gonna want to have a business meeting with us ever because we repeat every business meeting on this pod verbatim.

• 15:19Paige DeSorbo?

  It wasn't even a business meeting. He was literally asking me to like pass something to him.

• 15:24Hannah Berner?

  And before you say what you're about to say, I, on the corner of my eye, I left Paige for a second and she's sitting down alone with a man. So I stopped my conversation. I go, hold on one second. I have to like, we might need to stop, drop and roll. Like, I don't know if she's safe.

• 15:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Nobody talks about the look you give your friend who's trying to help you when you're really like, no, actually I am okay.

• 15:46Hannah Berner?

  It's literally ninja because you have to walk behind the guy. She looks at you. She can't make a weird face because then she's put in a vulnerable position.

• 15:54Paige DeSorbo?

  I have to nod.

• 15:55Hannah Berner?

  So she has to do it through her eyes. If you weren't speaking, I'd be like, I need to get him out. But you seemed very passionate about what you were saying.

• 16:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, I was dialed in.

• 16:03Hannah Berner?

  And tell them what you were saying.

• 16:05Paige DeSorbo?

  And I don't even know how we got on this subject, but I was like, I have watched reunions before of seasons that I've never watched of television just because a reunion's exciting, blah, blah, blah, whatever. And I said to him, I was like, except I don't like that Netflix does the reunions live. I don't think you would ever be able to get the amount of content the viewer is looking for and the specific content and answers they're looking for in one hour of live TV. I was like, you have to film that for at least eight to 10 hours, even to just cut it up into one good hour. And he just like, looked at me and he was like, I feel like he was kind of like, who do you think you are?

• 16:46Paige DeSorbo?

  But he also did kind of agree. And then I said like, by name, a host that I didn't think were very good.

• 16:55Paige DeSorbo?

  That they should stop hiring. Um, and then I think he did get offended.

• 16:59Hannah Berner?

  He's like, I actually was just saying, welcome to the brunch.

• 17:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Happy to have you.

• 17:03Hannah Berner?

  I have thoughts, but live TV is exciting because there's this air of like, something crazy can happen.

• 17:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Right. Which I was gonna say, I like that Netflix does live roasts. I think it is okay for that type of entertainment. I don't think reunions should ever be live.

• 17:20Hannah Berner?

  Well, the roast now they can cut it down to like, all the favorite one liners that came out of those three hours. But I will again say, Chelsea Handler discovered Kevin Hart. She put him on her show, Chelsea Lately, and Kevin gives her all the flowers. Kevin's in love with her.

• 17:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 17:36Hannah Berner?

  But I felt like the other boys were, like even after she did her, her set.

• 17:43Paige DeSorbo?

  She looked phenomenal.

• 17:45Hannah Berner?

  But even after her set, they were like, thanks, Chelsea. Like if she was a man, they would be sucking her dick.

• 17:51Paige DeSorbo?

  I know, there were only two girls up there.

• 17:52Hannah Berner?

  They only had two comics that were women, which is bonkers.

• 17:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Right, right, right, right. Oh, yeah.

• 17:58Hannah Berner?

  Um, but Chelsea held her own and they like came at her like really hard. Like if they did the normal, like you're a whore, you're old, but then they were like giving her like accusations.

• 18:09Paige DeSorbo?

  You know what's funny is that like men will always like criticize female comedy and it'll be like, all they talk about is like their vagina.

• 18:16Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, Shane made that joke.

• 18:17Paige DeSorbo?

  And it's like, okay, like you talk about what you know and like we have ones. I don't, I never understood why they got so mad about that. And it's like, okay, fine. But anytime they talk about a woman in comedy, it's like she's a whore. And it's like, okay, like think of a better word.

• 18:35Hannah Berner?

  Chelsea doesn't just talk about her pussy. Chelsea talks about MDMA a lot. Chelsea talks a lot about drugs. She talks about her house in Mallorca, her dogs.

• 18:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, Chelsea has good life.

• 18:44Hannah Berner?

  Chelsea's worldly.

• 18:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Experience stories that you want to listen to, that you're like, oh my God, I'd never find myself in that type of situation. That's why it's entertainment and fun to listen to.

• 18:54Hannah Berner?

  Because of being a good interviewer where she'd get her guests to open up and then shit all over them and people loved it.

• 18:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Chelsea Lately was so, so ahead of its time. Like when they talk about like the boys of late night now, I'm like, right, but Chelsea Lately was one of the funniest shows ever on TV.

• 19:11Hannah Berner?

  We love Jimmy Fallon. Would they have treated Jimmy Fallon like that?

• 19:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, no, no.

• 19:16Hannah Berner?

  They would have been tippy toeing around Jimmy Fallon. Oh, that you're iconic. Thank you for all you've done. You've been in this industry so long. And said, Chelsea, you old whore.

• 19:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 19:25Hannah Berner?

  And look, I know it's a, I know it's a roast, but there was just a nuance. There was tension in the room. No one came for Regina Hall, which makes me like respect turn away where like, like people were scared of coming for Regina Hall. And but Chelsea, look, Chelsea laughed. She's an amazing sport. I just felt like considering who she is in comedy. So anyway, I'm just, you know, talking my own feminist nonsense.

• 19:51Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I was just shocked at how long it was.

• 19:53Hannah Berner?

  It was long. I also felt like Cheryl Underwood killed.

• 19:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, she did.

• 19:59Hannah Berner?

  Like, because the vibes were kind of tough.

• 20:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Getting low.

• 20:01Hannah Berner?

  It was tough. And then she came out there and she feel like she brought everyone together because they were making insane jokes about her husband who passed away, who she was down for it because you can make so many jokes about it. And she was like, that's part of my life. But she came up there and she said, we need to stick together. We have to laugh. We have to be open. We have to communicate with each other. So that was a really beautiful message.

• 20:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 20:24Hannah Berner?

  And then she fucking murdered.

• 20:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 20:27Hannah Berner?

  And she's like a Christian comic and was so dirty. It was so funny.

• 20:31Paige DeSorbo?

  But when a comedian is like, not even bombing, just like maybe one joke, I can't like, I physically have to.

• 20:39Hannah Berner?

  Well, there's this.

• 20:40Paige DeSorbo?

  I can't watch.

• 20:41Hannah Berner?

  There's like a really smart roast joke. And then there's the edgelord roast jokes where it's, it's for shock value. It's like cringe comedy.

• 20:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm hmm.

• 20:50Hannah Berner?

  And the only way it works is if it's smart. And sometimes they say it and it's not smart. And you're just like, you just wanted to say that word.

• 20:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 20:58Hannah Berner?

  Which is not a joke. That was just.

• 20:59Paige DeSorbo?

  I hate cringe comedy.

• 21:01Hannah Berner?

  Cringe comedy. Well, cringe comedy is an art form that I'd say only Meg Stalter could pull off.

• 21:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Has perfected.

• 21:07Hannah Berner?

  Like she's perfected it where like you sit in it and you're so scared, but you're like, she'll take me through this. We will get through this.

• 21:13Paige DeSorbo?

  That's so true because I don't find her comedy cringe. I almost find it like it's a bit that I wasn't read in on that everyone else knows. And I want to know what it is.

• 21:23Hannah Berner?

  Yes. And that's how cringe comedy should feel. It shouldn't feel like everyone's cringing.

• 21:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 21:28Hannah Berner?

  I don't even know how you perfect that. Like, how many, how many bombs did she have to do before she was like, and that's the perfect amount of cringe?

• 21:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, or just like how she comes up with things.

• 21:41Hannah Berner?

  Fucking genius.

• 21:44Hannah Berner?

  She's transforming like, um, press tours. We are sleep experts.

• 21:52Paige DeSorbo?

  No, we are.

• 21:52Hannah Berner?

  But we're also honest and sometimes we don't sleep perfectly. Everyone's upset.

• 21:57Paige DeSorbo?

  A lot of things do keep me up at night, like I have to have the perfect temperature. I have to have the volume at a certain level. And sometimes Kitty, like, she's not an outdoor cat, but she will bring me treats in the middle of the night. And one of them is like her stuffed animal mouse. And I'm like, thank you so much. I didn't need it on my forehead at 5 a.m.

• 22:16Hannah Berner?

  What keeps me up at night is sometimes my husband. Just having someone else in your bed.

• 22:20Paige DeSorbo?

  I told you not to.

• 22:20Hannah Berner?

  And that's why my mattress firm mattress is amazing because mattress firm matched me with a mattress that has cooling technology so that even if my husband is warm, I stay cool. And that's why our marriage works.

• 22:33Paige DeSorbo?

  And mattress firm matched me with a mattress that has movement isolation. So if Kitty ever like jumps up there and causes a ruckus at nighttime, I'm just like not feeling it.

• 22:42Hannah Berner?

  Cause Kitty's not light anymore.

• 22:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, I'm telling you, you said that. You also can compare like a tour bed to your regular bed.

• 22:51Hannah Berner?

  Oh, my God, when I'm on tour, it just doesn't feel like home. There is nothing like after a long day, jumping into your mattress firm mattress and just feeling like this is where I belong.

• 23:00Paige DeSorbo?

  And mattress firm truly, I have the best mattress in America. I also have an adjustable base bed, which people like, don't talk about enough.

• 23:08Hannah Berner?

  What is that? Like, oh, like you can go up and down?

• 23:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. So I can elevate my leg.

• 23:12Hannah Berner?

  Does it vibrate?

• 23:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Sure does, honey. It sure does.

• 23:15Hannah Berner?

  I might not fit in in other places and I might be lonely, but my mattress firm will always love me. I also, I'm a bad shopper.

• 23:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 23:24Hannah Berner?

  But there's nothing more fun, like make it a day of it. Go to a mattress firm, get a sleep expert and jump on all the beds and they'll help you for what's best for like your lower back or like how the temperature you like, or just the vibes.

• 23:38Paige DeSorbo?

  I liked it so much, I went twice. One time I brought my dad and I made him do it with me. And then the next time I like really made my decision with my guy.

• 23:46Hannah Berner?

  I should do it weekly. I love how you have a sleep mattress guy now.

• 23:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Of course.

• 23:51Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, hey, what's the new pillow?

• 23:54Hannah Berner?

  When I sleep through the night, I wake up so much more delightful. I have more energy. I have a little pep in my step. So whatever's standing between you and a good night's sleep, whether it's physical discomfort or a pet with the zoomies, Mattress Firm Sleep Experts will help you get the right mattress to help quiet the noise.

• 24:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Because hear us out, it isn't just a mattress, it's your mattress. And Mattress Firm Sleep Expert make it easy to find the right one. With over 200 hours of training, they'll figure out exactly what your body needs and you'll be waking up so well rested, you won't even know what to do with yourself. More giggles, less groggy, that's the goal. For the great sleep you deserve, visit Mattress Firm. They make sleep easy.

• 24:32Hannah Berner?

  Also, um, I want to just shout out people who blow their nose.

• 24:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 24:38Hannah Berner?

  And somehow make that trumpet noise. Is that genetic or did they learn how to do that?

• 24:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Hmm.

• 24:45Hannah Berner?

  Cause I, look, people like a loud sneeze. Every now and then I'm like, feel that orgasm, like lean into it. But I was on a flight and this person was blowing their nose like a trombone to the point that it startled me. It was like, and like everyone was shook and I'm like, is that genetic? Is your nose canal like a certain angle that it comes out that way?

• 25:09Paige DeSorbo?

  My favorite thing ever is when kitty sneezes. When your cat sneezes, you're like, there's something that reinforces that they have organs inside their body and you're like, oh my God, I forgot you have lungs.

• 25:22Hannah Berner?

  There's no lead up, so they just go,

• 25:26Hannah Berner?

  and then they're scared. They're like,

• 25:28Paige DeSorbo?

  I want to squeeze her head. Um, where were you?

• 25:32Hannah Berner?

  On a plane.

• 25:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, oh.

• 25:34Hannah Berner?

  Like I was sleeping on a plane.

• 25:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 25:36Hannah Berner?

  So basically think of the most comfortable place you could be. And then someone takes a band, a full marching band.

• 25:44Paige DeSorbo?

  I will say is I have been the person on a plane that's like so stuffed up and I'm like, I don't give a flying fuck.

• 25:51Hannah Berner?

  You just don't have to, what's, what's a?

• 25:53Paige DeSorbo?

  An octave?

• 25:54Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, you don't have to hit an octave.

• 25:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, but think about how stuffed up that guy was that he had to blow that hard because the pressure.

• 26:02Hannah Berner?

  But that's the thing, you actually don't have to blow hard on a plane. You could do a lot of little blows. That's what I do. Be like,

• 26:10Hannah Berner?

  you have to go,

• 26:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Our podcast content has gotten more riveting over the years.

• 26:17Hannah Berner?

  Well, is this funny? Cause I don't think he actually listens, but occasionally be like, what'd you talk about?

• 26:21Paige DeSorbo?

  My blackout.

• 26:23Hannah Berner?

  I'll be like, I don't know. Or I'll be like chess and he's like, oh, that's really unique. And I'm like, it's, it's actually not, it's pretty, pretty predictable for the pot at this point. Like the girls are like chess, boom.

• 26:32Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I literally talk about things that I would call you on the phone to say. Like I'm back to hair cycling. I've only washed once. I'm getting back to like washing once a week.

• 26:43Hannah Berner?

  You exhaust me. You exhaust me. You exhaust me.

• 26:46Paige DeSorbo?

  I know.

• 26:47Hannah Berner?

  Like, I can't keep up like with what, what were you doing last week?

• 26:50Paige DeSorbo?

  I mean, I'm going to get my second microneedling in three weeks. Like where?

• 26:54Hannah Berner?

  True.

• 26:54Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, we have to stay on schedule.

• 26:56Hannah Berner?

  Why did you decide to go back to hair cycling?

• 26:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Um, I don't know. It just kind of happened. I didn't mean for it to happen, but I feel like it's easier in the summer. And it's easier when my hair is longer for whatever reason. You can do more with your hair greasy and long than I feel like you can short and long. Or short and greasy.

• 27:15Hannah Berner?

  Do you think we're turning into the same person?

• 27:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I know.

• 27:17Hannah Berner?

  Cause now you have long greasy hair.

• 27:19Paige DeSorbo?

  I know. No, like sometimes like people will say like comment pictures, like you guys look alike. And I used to be like, you guys are insane.

• 27:26Hannah Berner?

  And you go, don't.

• 27:27Paige DeSorbo?

  And now recently I'll look at a pic and I'll be like, Hallie, we're not sisters, we're twins.

• 27:32Hannah Berner?

  We'll have the same facial expression because we're like so connected emotionally. So like when someone's like, take a photo, we both have this, like our eyes have this.

• 27:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Our eyes.

• 27:41Hannah Berner?

  Are saying the same thing.

• 27:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Smaller in our mouths do this thing where it's like, like we have a secret to tell, but we can't, it's literally, we make the facial expression of, I have to tell you something, but I can't do it right now. That's the facial expression and I know exactly what you're talking about.

• 27:55Hannah Berner?

  You know, the second the photo's over, I'm about to whisper something stupid.

• 27:59Paige DeSorbo?

  This episode is sponsored by the new Hershey's creme bars in salted caramel and affogato. Lately I've been realizing that luxury doesn't have to mean some huge splurge. Sometimes it's just taking a few minutes to yourself during a busy day. I have one of these moments, oh, I don't know, every day around two o'clock. Whether that's making a pick me up coffee or maybe I just. Need to scroll for a little bit on the couch. That's why I'm actually so excited about the new Hershey's Salted Caramel and Afagato Creme Bars available now. I absolutely love a treat yourself moment in the middle of the day and this is a classic Hershey's Milk Chocolate layered with a salted caramel or Afagato Creme filling.

• 28:41Paige DeSorbo?

  So it feels a little elevated while still being your favorite Hershey's chocolate. Pick up the new Hershey's Creme Bars in Salted Caramel or Afagato wherever you shop for snacks and choose happiness with every bite. Okay, autumn in New York is the season where we can finally start dressing again. Every single thing is an excuse to put on a look. Going to work? Outfit. Leading a meeting? Outfit. Getting drinks with your friends? Obviously outfit. And as we all know, every great outfit starts from the feet up. That is why I'm currently obsessed with alleys from Sam Edelman. They're a ballet flat, but a little something extra for fall. A contrasting velvet cap toe, I have them in this gorgeous azure blue, which is like a dusty muted blue that somehow goes with everything, even Daphne's eyes.

• 29:25Paige DeSorbo?

  They're so cute and I'm already envisioning my next outfit. Straight leg jeans, an oversized blazer and a little shoulder bag. Very, I just threw this on when we all know I absolutely did not. And Hannah is loving hers too. She has the Michaela, which is the Sam Edelman's take on a Mary Jane. And this season it comes in the chicest leopard. So gorge, so easy and exactly the kind of shoe that makes an otherwise basic outfit look like you actually tried. And there's so much more coming from Sam Edelman this fall beyond these two. Like the new Teigan and Tallulah pumps, plus ready to wear handbags, fragrances and even a new men's collection. So basically you can make sure both you and your man are looking good for date night. Because we're not doing all that getting dressed just to let him show up in a t-shirt.

• 30:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Head to samedelman.com and get 15% off with code giggly15. Can we talk about the difference between a home that's furnished and a home that's intentional? Because if you're still living with a mattress on the floor at 25, that's crazy. And Cozy is here to help. Bed frames, sofas, rugs, shelves, tables. Cozy has everything and it all comes in boxes directly to your door. Cozy furniture is modular, so the piece you buy for your current place can reconfigure to fit your next one. And you can always add as your space and taste evolves. You can swap covers when you want to change and they go right in the wash whenever you spill something. If you have no clue where to start, they offer free one-on-one design consultations, so a real person can help you plan your space.

• 30:53Paige DeSorbo?

  No fees. So transform your living space today with Cozy. That's C-O-Z-E-Y dot com. Make yourself at home. Giggly Squad, as we know, is a sports podcast, but it's also a mental health podcast. And if you've ever had intrusive thoughts, you're not alone. For millions of people, it's not just anxiety. That's OCD, and most of them have no idea. Real OCD is persistent, unwanted, intrusive thoughts that feel totally out of character, along with mental or physical behaviors you feel driven to do to get relief. And these thoughts can feel very real, which makes them so upsetting. OCD is highly treatable with the right kind of specialized therapy. It needs ERP, Exposure and Response Prevention Therapy, proven to be the most effective treatment.

• 31:38Paige DeSorbo?

  NoCD is the world's leading provider of OCD treatment, covered by insurance for over 138 million Americans. Licensed therapists specialize in ERP therapy in live, face-to-face, virtual sessions, with support between sessions, so you're never facing OCD alone. If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, NoCD can help. Book a free 15-minute call to get started at learn.nocd.com/giggly.

• 32:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, someone came up to Hannah at brunch. This is the most diabolical thing ever. And of course, it was a man because no woman would ever put another woman in this situation. Guy comes up to Hannah at brunch and goes, I have to tell you something, but I can't do it until later. And I literally, in my head was like, I'll throw up. I'll literally throw up.

• 32:23Hannah Berner?

  No, this is like a famous comedian and I'm like, hi. And he goes, gotta tell you something. I go, tell me. He goes, can't tell you now. And I go, I'm not sleeping tonight.

• 32:31Paige DeSorbo?

  No, literally, I was like, we have to perform tonight. How dare you?

• 32:35Hannah Berner?

  Don't have his number. Texted his assistant yesterday. I tried to be cool for like two days. And I DM'd him. I'm like, what's the tea? Didn't respond. I mean, obviously he's busy. I see him on Netflix. Like he's doing stuff. But I'm like, you started this with me. So then I have, all I have is his assistant.

• 32:49Paige DeSorbo?

  I've been thinking about.

• 32:50Hannah Berner?

  I have assistant's contacts. So I texted his assistant yesterday and I said, hey, you can give him my number if he wants to tell me anything. And she's like, what? Like I think she's, who knows if she even relayed that to him. She probably was like, you, no, I'm, I'm protecting him.

• 33:04Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I'll freak out.

• 33:05Hannah Berner?

  And I know he's busy. Like it's the Netflix is a joke. So I know he's not just like sitting on his phone, but I'm also like, I'm str- and now I'm making things up. Like I'm like, I have a full story of what he's telling me and to watch it. Cause he's a, this is my thing. Cause he's a boy. There's a chance it's like a really bad piece of gossip. Like it's like, I met someone's cousin and they know who you are.

• 33:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 33:30Hannah Berner?

  And I'm like, that's what you kept me up from REM sleep for a week. Cause someone knows someone who knows me.

• 33:36Paige DeSorbo?

  I've thought about it nonstop since it happened because it's such a great example on how men and women are different. Like,

• 33:45Hannah Berner?

  He's compartmentalizing. He forgot he told me that.

• 33:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, a hundred percent forgot. And women also make decisions based on how other people are going to feel. So, and men have never thought of that in their lives.

• 33:58Hannah Berner?

  He literally, like, that was cra- he poisoned me.

• 34:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Men go throughout their day checking off their own to do list.

• 34:05Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 34:05Paige DeSorbo?

  You have nothing, and you have nothing to do with it, babe.

• 34:08Hannah Berner?

  Also, by the way, there's, this is something about womanhood. I don't care where you are. You can always tell me the gossip. The person, the gossip. Gossip can be right there.

• 34:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep.

• 34:16Hannah Berner?

  We're finding a way to, because women, we have to communicate with each other to survive. That was such a man thing, because also, we were in an open brunch. Like, when you're in an open area, your words, like, just disappear. There's no echo.

• 34:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Also.

• 34:30Hannah Berner?

  Pull me aside. Pull me, there were so many crevices where you could have pulled me aside and whispered something in my ear. Like, what?

• 34:42Hannah Berner?

  Paige, it was, it was a mansion. There were eighteen rooms we could have gone in for you to sit down and tell me what the fuck was going on.

• 34:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Now, in the history of womanhood, has a woman ever come up to me, said, I have to tell you something so important, but I have to tell you in eight hours. Babe, they invented texting in two, the year two thousand. Whip out your phone and type it right now.

• 35:07Hannah Berner?

  But the best part is I tried to put it onto you. Did you see that? He looks at me and he goes, I got gossip. I go, about her? Because immediately, I'm like, I've been so good. I don't.

• 35:18Hannah Berner?

  I don't say anything. I don't do anything. I'm not allowed to comment on anything. I'm not allowed to look at comments. I'm literally at peace. I don't go on to her website. I'm at peace. So when someone says, I have drama for you, I go, it better not fucking be me, because I've been doing everything I'm supposed to do for the universe to leave me the fuck alone. So I literally go, it has to be her. It has to be her. She's naughtier than me.

• 35:40Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, first of all, you know I'm in a white dress, so nothing bad can happen to me today.

• 35:46Hannah Berner?

  You. And I'm like.

• 35:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Not Ron, not Hermione, you.

• 35:53Hannah Berner?

  But also, one thing about me and you, and I think you, you like this about our friendship.

• 36:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Even though. Are you gonna say you hate it?

• 36:01Hannah Berner?

  No. Even though I'm married.

• 36:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 36:04Hannah Berner?

  I shouldn't be boring. Like, I shouldn't have any gossip. Anywhere I go, it finds me. It finds me. And I, I know those people are like, I'm not the drama, it finds me. And you're, but like, I have bad luck with certain social situations where like, I find myself in pickles.

• 36:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 36:21Hannah Berner?

  Often. And that's why I, I try to be selective about when I go outside. Because I have to like emotionally be able to carry it.

• 36:29Paige DeSorbo?

  You have some type of magnetism to you and I don't know if it's like of your own doing. Someone say you got yourself into some situation.

• 36:39Hannah Berner?

  Okay, I I'm not completely innocent, a hundred percent. I'll take accountability for that. But I call it the subway test. There's like fifty people. And then there's a crazy person that comes on the subway. They're gonna go up to someone.

• 36:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 36:53Hannah Berner?

  It's always me.

• 36:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 36:55Hannah Berner?

  Like they literally find me and go beeline to me.

• 36:59Paige DeSorbo?

  You have an aura.

• 37:00Hannah Berner?

  And.

• 37:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Some type of aura that's like.

• 37:03Hannah Berner?

  Someone say it's a star power. Someone say main character energy where he's like, I want to talk to you.

• 37:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep.

• 37:08Hannah Berner?

  But I'm normalizing in your thirties, knowing that in your twenties, I feel like you're trying to be the main character. You're like, what's my character? What's my vibe? Who am I? I'm the main character of this book. What's my story? I'm working on getting into a situation and saying you don't have to be the main character, which is difficult for me, but healthy to be like, let's be a side character in this story.

• 37:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 37:31Hannah Berner?

  Let's watch other things. Let's just sit back and then go home and you're not part of any.

• 37:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Trauma.

• 37:39Hannah Berner?

  Trauma.

• 37:39Paige DeSorbo?

  You're not part of the main storyline.

• 37:41Hannah Berner?

  I used to like, someone would tell me something and I'd feel like I had to fight for them or I had to like, say my piece.

• 37:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 37:49Hannah Berner?

  And I was, I've been looking at all clips of you.

• 37:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Of me?

• 37:53Hannah Berner?

  Where you don't say anything.

• 37:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:56Hannah Berner?

  And I'm like, what if, Hannah, what if, what if you just shut the fuck up?

• 37:59Paige DeSorbo?

  What if you tried that for a little bit?

• 38:01Hannah Berner?

  What if you shut up and it's painful?

• 38:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, someone would argue that you're being selfish by trying to get in the middle of everything, but I would say that that's wrong, that you truly do always want like justice for the underdog, where I'd actually argue I'm more selfish because I'll be in situations where I'm like, I could say something right now, but what will that do for me?

• 38:29Hannah Berner?

  I would say that you're better at politics than me.

• 38:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 38:32Hannah Berner?

  You're, you're thinking big picture. But I do, like even when I was little.

• 38:38Paige DeSorbo?

  You fight the good fight.

• 38:39Hannah Berner?

  I would always be fighting the good fight, but it doesn't always feel good after.

• 38:42Paige DeSorbo?

  I'll pick and choose on those.

• 38:44Hannah Berner?

  But you do, when you, someone fucks with you.

• 38:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, well, that's, yeah.

• 38:48Hannah Berner?

  I feel like in public settings, I'm, I can be pretty quiet. Like if someone's rude to me, I like, don't respond.

• 38:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 38:55Hannah Berner?

  Like in New York, when someone yells at me, or like a car honks at me, I'll throw a bird up every now and then. Remember when people used to say that, flipping the bird? Am I?

• 39:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Only my dad.

• 39:05Hannah Berner?

  Literally in the seventies.

• 39:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Only my, I was just gonna say, my dad says that.

• 39:09Hannah Berner?

  How often do you flip the bird, like, per year?

• 39:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Not enough as I should.

• 39:15Hannah Berner?

  Well, you should, because you have the perfect finger for flipping the bird. Mine, like, we can't tell what you're doing.

• 39:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, we don't drive, though. Like, so I don't feel like we're, because like, face to face, I'm not flipping the bird to someone on the sidewalk. That's insane. You're a crazy person. In the comfort of your car, I feel like I would be giving the finger more.

• 39:34Hannah Berner?

  What level?

• 39:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Remember in middle school, and someone said that if you put your pinky up, that was giving the finger in Chinese? Who made that up? That was a thing.

• 39:43Hannah Berner?

  I do vaguely remember that. Someone who went to China and came back with

• 39:49Hannah Berner?

  some worldly knowledge, someone who thought they were bilingual. I'll ask Dez. Let me ask Dez, who knows?

• 39:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, who, why would that start?

• 39:56Hannah Berner?

  I think this is an important question. When you're dating a man, and you go in the car with him for the first time, how much roadway rage is, how much road rage is acceptable? Because I feel like if he has no road rage, he's, it's, he's getting taken advantage of.

• 40:14Paige DeSorbo?

  So interesting, because like, being in the car can immediately give so many icks.

• 40:18Hannah Berner?

  It can make or break a relationship.

• 40:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it really shows someone's aura.

• 40:22Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, like, I don't care if he pretended to be nice to a waitress for five minutes. How does he act when someone cuts him off on the road? That's his true character. I don't want him to lose control, and I don't want any violence. But I love a little under the breath cursing.

• 40:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 40:41Hannah Berner?

  That actually turns me on.

• 40:42Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know if I've, like, been in the situation in truly the last 10 years, where I've been like, whoa, dude. Your road rage was out of control.

• 40:53Hannah Berner?

  Like, there's a natural, like, this fucking asshole.

• 40:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I think that's appropriate, but I think if you're... Actually, one time.

• 41:04Hannah Berner?

  I knew that you had something.

• 41:05Paige DeSorbo?

  I had to sit in it for a little. I go, that can't be right, Paige. You've dated psychos.

• 41:10Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I was like, this isn't.

• 41:11Paige DeSorbo?

  That's not checking out, that you haven't been in a road rage situation.

• 41:17Hannah Berner?

  Also, because you were dating people who were like driving at like eighteen.

• 41:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 41:21Hannah Berner?

  Like, in New York, no one had a driver's license.

• 41:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, at sixteen, you mean?

• 41:24Hannah Berner?

  Oh, sixteen, yeah.

• 41:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I'm like, that's legal. And they've had their license for two years, okay?

• 41:30Hannah Berner?

  I didn't, does it the first guy I've dated? No. First guy I dated with a car was like twenty-four.

• 41:35Paige DeSorbo?

  That's so interesting.

• 41:37Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, like, he had a car, and I was like, he has a car.

• 41:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Wow.

• 41:40Hannah Berner?

  I was like, you have a fucking car?

• 41:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, that is so crazy.

• 41:44Hannah Berner?

  Because in college, the guys didn't have cars. It was like a walking town. One of my teammates had a car, and she was like the shit.

• 41:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, my god, so much happens in high school, in like the suburbs, in your car.

• 41:54Hannah Berner?

  Or in fields.

• 41:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I was in fields a lot. But what was I saying before?

• 41:58Hannah Berner?

  What did the guy do in the road rage incident?

• 41:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, you know in New York City where like, obviously, there's so many intersections, and they're so pivotal, like, to each other?

• 42:07Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 42:07Paige DeSorbo?

  And if you get, you're in like rush hour traffic, and you get one bus, and the bus is kind of just like, fuck you guys, and they're in the middle? Well, that was happening, and I think I was on my way to the airport.

• 42:20Hannah Berner?

  Hmm.

• 42:20Paige DeSorbo?

  And this man got out of the back of the Uber. It wasn't a-

• 42:26Hannah Berner?

  Oh, he wasn't even driving?

• 42:27Paige DeSorbo?

  No, no. And it wasn't a school bus, but it was like a, some type, not like a Greyhound bus, but some type of like tour bus, or like something. And got out and went up to the bus, and was like, you're fucking it for everyone else, but not in a like-

• 42:45Hannah Berner?

  And you were like, wait a second, can I do a photo shoot on this bus? Because I really like the back.

• 42:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, well, I'll never forget, because I was sitting in the backseat, I was eating a five napkin salad, and it was the day I discovered, have you ever had five napkin?

• 42:58Hannah Berner?

  It's not Five Guys, right?

• 42:59Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it's like on the, I think it's on the Upper West Side, because there's order from-

• 43:03Hannah Berner?

  I actually, I visualize it.

• 43:05Paige DeSorbo?

  And I'll never forget that day, because it's the day I discovered one of my favorite salads.

• 43:09Hannah Berner?

  Wait, so you're like, I'm trying to enjoy my salad, and then this sound comes in?

• 43:15Paige DeSorbo?

  I think it's this annoying voice.

• 43:18Hannah Berner?

  Him getting out of the Uber is fucking crazy.

• 43:20Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it was, this was before the ick was invented, but I knew that I felt it right in that moment.

• 43:26Hannah Berner?

  How did he come back? Like, was he like, got that guy?

• 43:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, he came back like, and nothing happened. And I was like,

• 43:32Hannah Berner?

  You're not moving the bus.

• 43:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, you're not Ty Pennington. Like, literally get a grip, dude. Like, you have a vest on.

• 43:40Hannah Berner?

  You've never named off Ty Pennington before?

• 43:42Paige DeSorbo?

  I was waiting for the perfect time.

• 43:44Hannah Berner?

  Also, it's funny because I'm a passenger princess, so I observe. It's actually the one time that I observe and sit back and observe. And I love when like, people get mad because people are cutting them off, but then I watch them cut someone off and I'm like, guys. But I guess that's life. Sometimes you're the asshole and sometimes they're the asshole.

• 44:00Paige DeSorbo?

  And then there's people like me, it's like, I didn't know I cut you off. Like, sorry. You know, it's not, everything is about you. Like, I was in my own world, I was vibing. Like, you don't have to give me the finger because I didn't know.

• 44:12Hannah Berner?

  I haven't driven enough. I've like, yeah, someone's like honked at me before, but I, and yeah, that actually really hurt my feelings.

• 44:22Hannah Berner?

  I wanted to be like, I'm two weeks in, my husband is disappointed in me, the gigglers want me to pass a test, I have a lot going on.

• 44:30Hannah Berner?

  I'm like, we're in fucking West Hampton, why are you fucking honking? Where do you have to go?

• 44:35Paige DeSorbo?

  I am nervous. I was like, I haven't driven in so long. I'm nervous it is kind of like, You don't use it, you lose it type thing.

• 44:42Hannah Berner?

  I told someone the Summer House story recently about how I got in trouble for not driving.

• 44:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 44:47Hannah Berner?

  It's my favorite story.

• 44:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you know, something I never talked about, but something I did threaten Summer House with a couple of times that like, I should have followed through on it was, because we had to drive to the Hamptons every Friday, my dad would call me every Friday and be like, I don't give a fuck who's in charge down there. You tell them I said you're not driving. And I'd be like, Dad, I can't say that at like 27 years old that my dad said I can't drive to the Hamptons. But 100,000% that man was right.

• 45:25Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know how.

• 45:26Hannah Berner?

  Not everyone's comfortable with a five hour drive on a highway.

• 45:30Paige DeSorbo?

  With five people in the back.

• 45:32Hannah Berner?

  And these were trucks.

• 45:34Paige DeSorbo?

  The amount of times I was responsible for over four people in the car to drive for four hours on one of the busiest highways in the country.

• 45:43Hannah Berner?

  But also not even to get to the highway, you had to get through the city and everyone was trying to get out of the city.

• 45:48Paige DeSorbo?

  And I had never driven in the city before.

• 45:51Hannah Berner?

  Oh, that's so scary.

• 45:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Until then.

• 45:53Hannah Berner?

  So, yeah, I got called out because I never drive and everyone's like Hannah, you're a selfish bitch. And I was like, I don't have my driver's license. Do you want to die? And then afterward, we're sitting in the bed and you were like, I do have a driver's license, but no one's mad at me. And I was like, you're an icon and a legend. And but I was also thinking like, I remember you would show up hungover.

• 46:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 46:14Hannah Berner?

  Like you'd show up sunglasses, you were like seeing colors and you had like, you had like a scarf. Like that's just how I remembered you and you'd be like.

• 46:25Hannah Berner?

  Toilet paper that we had and you used it as a pillow.

• 46:28Paige DeSorbo?

  If anything, she's resourceful.

• 46:30Hannah Berner?

  And I was like, no one talks to her. She's going through it. And I was like, you know, we're about to drink all weekend. And you were like, I know.

• 46:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, but that was my twenties, like, and I'm so proud of her.

• 46:41Hannah Berner?

  I'm so proud of her too.

• 46:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Now she has one spicy margarita. Listen to what happened to me.

• 46:45Hannah Berner?

  What happened? You tried to get me to go out again, you little drunky.

• 46:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, my God. Wait, when did I go out to dinner? Saturday night? I go out to dinner Saturday night. I'm like feeling myself, whatever. Last night I wake up at like, I don't know, like 5:00 AM. This has been happening to me every single night. I wake up at like 5:00 AM. I have the worst heartburn ever in my whole life. I'm like literally. I think I'm having like a heart attack. My like acid reflux is so bad.

• 47:15Hannah Berner?

  You don't even eat big meals. You eat a ton of little ones.

• 47:17Paige DeSorbo?

  It's yeah, but I think it's because I eat such like spicy and I had like two spicy margaritas like the night before.

• 47:24Hannah Berner?

  That'll do it.

• 47:25Paige DeSorbo?

  I wake up at 5:00 AM. I end up throwing up.

• 47:29Hannah Berner?

  Least surprising thing you've ever said.

• 47:31Paige DeSorbo?

  I end up throwing up because my acid reflux is so bad.

• 47:34Hannah Berner?

  And where's Kitty during this?

• 47:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Kitty's just like, like she's sitting there, but she's like, okay.

• 47:38Hannah Berner?

  Cause when you go to the bathroom, they have to go with you.

• 47:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like a cat will be with you in two seconds. Like whenever I can't find her, I just go into the bathroom. I'm like, she'll be here in a minute. Okay, so I'm up at 5 a.m. I'm throwing up because of my acid reflux. I end up like, just like being up, I start doing things. I end up like putting a workout set on. I'm like doing my laundry.

• 47:59Hannah Berner?

  And that's turning a negative into a positive.

• 48:01Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like peak doing shit at like 8:30. Then like 9:30 a.m. rolls around, I realize I'm getting a little sleepy.

• 48:10Paige DeSorbo?

  I wanna take a little nap. I take a nap till 11:30. I wake up and I go, "Did I like crack the code on the best schedule ever? Like, why aren't people doing this schedule more?" And then I realized, that's the schedule of an infant. I woke up, threw up, played around for a little bit, said, "Mom, I'm tired." Go back to sleep.

• 48:31Hannah Berner?

  We've all-

• 48:32Paige DeSorbo?

  All before noon.

• 48:33Hannah Berner?

  We've all at 11 o'clock been like, "I could nap right now, but that would be depression."

• 48:36Paige DeSorbo?

  I had a boyfriend for a couple of years one time, and he would say Paige does this thing called morning naps. And it was in that moment that I realized he was in fact right, I was too immature.

• 48:50Paige DeSorbo?

  But a morning nap. Like, if you wake up at like, you're one of those people that's like, "I really wanna be a morning person and wake up and like work out." Why aren't more people doing that schedule? But I guess the full eight hours is really what you need to be like healthy.

• 49:06Hannah Berner?

  Well, Dez wakes up at like 6 a.m. And at like 7 o'clock, I put on a movie to put him down. And he immediately is out. And I'm like, "He's had a long day." Like, I woke up four hours ago. He's been up-

• 49:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 49:21Hannah Berner?

  For like 16 hours. Sometimes he'll wake me up and he'd already be like, "I went on a run. I played 18 holes of golf." "I changed my name. I like, I have a new family." Like, he does this all-

• 49:31Paige DeSorbo?

  He's like, "I just went and hung out at the DMV, just for fun, to see if they needed an extra hand."

• 49:38Hannah Berner?

  He fully wakes me up. Do you wanna, oh wait, you really made us laugh. Paige called us in the morning and said, "Happy Mother's Day, Dez," because-

• 49:47Hannah Berner?

  He takes care of the family and I was like, happy Mother's Day to Dez. He wakes me up, like he.

• 49:53Paige DeSorbo?

  I know that as a Scorpio, his mental load is like, you wouldn't even be able to scratch the surface.

• 50:00Hannah Berner?

  I put a lot on that man.

• 50:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Of his mental load.

• 50:02Hannah Berner?

  I put a lot on that man. He's stressed. He feels everything, but he holds it together for the family. He literally did a thing, you know, when your parents wake you up where they're like, get up. Don't make me say it again. He said that to me and I was like, it's Sunday.

• 50:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Did you ever tell the gigglers that one time Dez told me something, but he didn't want to tell Hannah because he didn't want to stress Hannah out? And then Hannah told me something, but she didn't tell Dez because she didn't want to stress Dez out. And I was like, get me out of your perfect love story, you fucking freaks. Like literally leave me alone.

• 50:35Hannah Berner?

  That's our foreplay, not telling each other things.

• 50:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Things that will like cause anxiety.

• 50:39Hannah Berner?

  But then we all had to, we had to like act all weekend. Like we both were fine. And then finally you go, you guys both know about this. And then I was like, why didn't you fucking tell me? I was like pretending everything was okay. And he was like, so was I. And it wasn't.

• 50:53Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, get out of my apartment.

• 50:57Hannah Berner?

  But you and Dez together are too powerful. I don't like when you connect too much.

• 51:03Paige DeSorbo?

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• 51:46Paige DeSorbo?

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• 52:28Paige DeSorbo?

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• 53:11Paige DeSorbo?

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• 53:46Hannah Berner?

  Gigglers, the holidays are coming, and Arm and Hammer, Hardball, Cat Litter and I are making sure all my fellow cat parents are guest-ready. You guys know I'm obsessed with cats. I'm a cat missionary, and make sure everyone in my life has a cat, and I'm doing really well at it. I foster, and I'm constantly trying to help cats find homes. And around the holidays, I basically want everyone I know to fall in love with a cat and take one home. But the holidays, you guys are hosting, you have your cat, and you have such a to-do list, you know, hiding things in closets, pretending you're clean, pulling out the snacks. One thing I do not need to add to that list is worrying about cat smell. Arm & Hammer Hardball Cat Litter keeps odors under control and forms compact clumps that make cleanup easy, so that part is already handled in the background.

• 54:29Hannah Berner?

  So then I can focus on my guests and maybe convince one of them they need a cat. For all my fellow cat parents, be guest-ready with Arm & Hammer Hardball Cat Litter. Find it now at Walmart or Amazon.

• 54:41Hannah Berner?

  One thing about me is with the new season, I like to have a new personality. You never have to stick to one personality, and people don't talk about it enough.

• 54:48Paige DeSorbo?

  No, if I'm wearing a hat, I'm a different person. Okay, the weather totally changes how you feel, and it's obviously like getting a little cooler out, and I'm a different girl in a turtleneck.

• 55:01Hannah Berner?

  And part of rebranding is getting new clothes, and that's why I love Revolve. They have everything I need to be a completely new person that no one's ever met before, whether it's denim, such as an angled barrel jean. I'm so different when I'm wearing a barrel jean. People do respect me more.

• 55:19Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm a creative director of somewhere.

• 55:23Hannah Berner?

  Then boots with a little kitten heel or a high heel. When I'm wearing boots, I command a room.

• 55:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, and don't get me started on just like a really good dinner outfit. You get me a new blazer to go out to dinner, I'm having a time.

• 55:38Hannah Berner?

  And then people forget that on Revolve, there's also beauty. They have menswear, they have home, and they have Forward Renew, which is pre-owned luxury handbags, and you know how much we love vintage.

• 55:50Paige DeSorbo?

  I've been recently loving Helsa's stuff. I feel like the first place I go to look is Revolve. And the number one thing I love about Revolve is order a bunch of stuff. Try it on in the comfort of your home, easiest return ever. It's the only place I shop that I don't feel bad ordering extra stuff, because I'm like, I have the luxury of trying it on and having the easiest returns.

• 56:14Hannah Berner?

  And the shipping is so fast. And if you're like me and you don't know what you're doing two days from now, and then you're like, oh shit, I have a huge important dinner, use Revolve. It's so fast, and it's curated, so the website's really easy. I have been recently obsessed with, just like normal Kamali.

• 56:34Hannah Berner?

  The capris that she has are so cute for fall, so comfy, stretchy and perfect.

• 56:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Revolve also carries the brands that you genuinely know and love. There's also room for discovering things. Everything's curated. You can find new brands you love, new styles you feel like wearing. Revolve just makes shopping easier. All the brands you want consistently updated, new arrivals, fast shipping, easy returns, and inevitably something you did not know you needed until five seconds ago. Go to revolve.com/giggly to shop our faves and use code giggly for 15% off your first order. That's revolve.com/giggly, code giggly for 15% off your first order. Offer available for a limited time, so don't miss out.

• 57:15Hannah Berner?

  Someone said they were listening to the Giggly Squad from the beginning. Oh my god. And like 2022, and I just want to know, like, how dumb were we in 2022? Because you know, people go, people change. I think you actually can see like us change.

• 57:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Or lack thereof.

• 57:31Hannah Berner?

  Or it's exactly the same. I don't know. I can't get myself to listen to it. Like 2020 was when we started. What a time.

• 57:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Which doesn't, 2020 feels like two years ago, but it was six.

• 57:45Hannah Berner?

  Do you know when 2006 was 20 years ago, when The Devil Wears Prada came out?

• 57:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 57:50Hannah Berner?

  20 years ago.

• 57:51Paige DeSorbo?

  We've been friends for-

• 57:52Hannah Berner?

  I'm only 20 years old.

• 57:53Paige DeSorbo?

  We've been friends for 10 years, really, probably, because if you count like meeting on Summer House, we really met that like year before.

• 58:02Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 58:04Paige DeSorbo?

  10 years. You know, I had this thought the other day because I was, I'm always like doing my hypothetical bachelorette party in my head.

• 58:12Hannah Berner?

  Same.

• 58:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry, I'm not stronger than the patriarchy, but, so I'm always like planning my hypothetical bachelorette party. And you know how like people will always say, oh, don't trust her if she doesn't have any like childhood friends? Or like, or they'll just like, or they'll say different things like, oh, she always has a falling out with a friend? Or like, girls that have big, or even the opposite, girls who have big groups of friends, like can't trust them because they're not close with any of them.

• 58:35Hannah Berner?

  Or someone said, if you just have childhood friends, you can't make new friends, that's a red flag.

• 58:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Either way, anything, every way you like, and I would always kind of get down on myself because I remember like, if I had a falling out with a childhood friend, I'd be like, oh my God, what does that say about me as an adult? Like, am I not as nice as I was? Whatever.

• 58:54Hannah Berner?

  Are you a girl's girl?

• 58:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 58:57Hannah Berner?

  Are you even a girl's girl?

• 59:02Hannah Berner?

  You knew a girl and you weren't nice to her? You a girl's girl? How many girls do you have in your life? Are you, do you girl, girl, girl? I'm a girl's girl, girl.

• 59:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, why is that the perfect accent?

• 59:13Hannah Berner?

  Cause that's when I see a comment, that's how I read it. Is she even a girl's girl?

• 59:19Hannah Berner?

  Have you even met a girl before? Are you even a girl?

• 59:25Hannah Berner?

  Do you have any girls in your basement?

• 59:26Paige DeSorbo?

  I love when people will do like full dissertations on the internet and you're like, wow, that's a really good point. And then at the bottom, the end, they'll be like, and she's mean.

• 59:35Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, okay.

• 59:38Paige DeSorbo?

  So whatever, I always like think about that, how like girl, women get yelled at for like any type of friend they have. And then I was thinking about men and how they always have so many group chats. Like I have so many girls in my DMs being like, my husband's group chat is like 14 of them and they all played Little League together. Like, I'm like, okay, great, get something for it. Anyway. I feel like I figured out, men have a ton of friends and they don't have falling outs. And they have different groups of friends from different parts of their lives that they're still friends with because they have low emotional intelligence.

• 1:00:12Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, they don't talk about anything. If you're talking about anything, you'll never fight.

• 1:00:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, they don't, like, even if they do get into a fight, they don't even talk about that fight. They just get over it.

• 1:00:19Hannah Berner?

  Even if they get gossip, it dies with them. Like, they don't tell anyone it. Where like, think about every problem in a girls' group, it's because eventually one girl says something about the other girl. The other girl agrees or disagrees and then immediate beef. Whenever I'm in a friend group, there's that like initial high that like you're in a group and you feel like you belong to something.

• 1:00:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:40Hannah Berner?

  And then an immediate fear of, oh no, like, there's gonna be drama. And the second a little whisper comes in that like so and so said something about you, you're like, oh my God, I can't do this.

• 1:00:54Paige DeSorbo?

  What? We have to make sure we're in the same mom group.

• 1:00:57Hannah Berner?

  Oh no. Are you a girl mom's girl? Moms mom? Are you a mom's mom? Are you a girl mom mom?

• 1:01:06Paige DeSorbo?

  How about, have you seen the thing on the?

• 1:01:09Hannah Berner?

  Wait, I know what it is. I sound like a, I'm in a Swedish club. Are you a girl's girl? Are you a girl's girl?

• 1:01:18Paige DeSorbo?

  That's a-

• 1:01:19Hannah Berner?

  Girls, girl, girl, girl, girl.

• 1:01:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Someone could do like a-

• 1:01:22Hannah Berner?

  A remix.

• 1:01:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like six, five, blue eyes.

• 1:01:27Hannah Berner?

  Wait, imagine guys being like, is he even a guy's guy? Are you a guy's guy, though?

• 1:01:34Paige DeSorbo?

  No, truly.

• 1:01:35Hannah Berner?

  Actually, the roast was, oh my god, my favorite part of the roast. Cause like, say what you want, the man's gone through some stuff.

• 1:01:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:44Hannah Berner?

  Cat Williams inspired me to be a stand-up comedian.

• 1:01:47Paige DeSorbo?

  He did phenomenal.

• 1:01:49Hannah Berner?

  His opening of that special where he walks on and he goes, every damn hustling is the best opening of any special. Anyway, his career's, you know, there's been some craziness. I think he got in a fight with an eight-year-old. Who knows?

• 1:02:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Did he?

• 1:02:05Hannah Berner?

  Which is hilarious.

• 1:02:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:07Hannah Berner?

  So him and Kevin have beef because he just like, talked really bad shit about Kevin on Shannon Sharp's podcast. About how Kevin's like an industry plant, da-da-da. And they don't fuck with each other.

• 1:02:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:20Hannah Berner?

  Cat Williams shows up and he calls Kevin-

• 1:02:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Who is Shannon Sharp?

• 1:02:24Hannah Berner?

  He's, he was a football player, I think. Or he does like, sports stuff.

• 1:02:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Cause I was like, why does everyone, every guy I've ever met know who that, like, know who it is?

• 1:02:33Hannah Berner?

  People go on his podcast and I guess he gets a lot out of them.

• 1:02:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I've seen that, but I'm, but I didn't know what his like, initial thing was.

• 1:02:40Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, how he started. He looks like a football player, like he's jacked. Um, so apparently Kevin Hart was supposed to host the Oscars, which is funny, cause if he got that gig, he would've kept it forever.

• 1:02:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:52Hannah Berner?

  He's a really good host, but he had a homophobic tweet come up.

• 1:02:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:02:56Hannah Berner?

  And Cat says what the tweet was, which was, if I had ever had a kid who was gay, I would take a dollhouse and hit him in the head with it. And Cat goes, "And that's the gayest way to deal with-"

• 1:03:10Hannah Berner?

  "To deal with your kid if he's gay." And then he goes on to be like, Cat, um, he goes, "And then you, you created a vegan restaurant chain? Gay."

• 1:03:22Hannah Berner?

  And he goes, and you're always hanging out with all these muscular men and the rock gay. Like he goes off about how gay it is, um, which is really funny. And then they have this beautiful moment where they kind of say, like, let's make up. Like, let's call a spade a spade, which like is so boy to be like, let's not talk about any of the things that were said or done. I'll trust you right now if you trust me. Let's move on.

• 1:03:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Literally the worst things ever. It's like you were at a Diddy party. Like if somebody tweeted Paige De Sorbo is actually been seen at a Diddy party and done like weird. I'm never, not even am I never speaking to that person again. I'm literally burning your house down.

• 1:04:01Hannah Berner?

  Guys will get into physical altercations.

• 1:04:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:05Hannah Berner?

  And like still invite them on the bachelor party. He's like, well, he was invited. He'll be fine. After a couple beers, he's really fun, actually.

• 1:04:13Paige DeSorbo?

  They also can do the most insane things. Like the amount of times I've heard guys be like, oh, I became friends with him because like we were dating the same girl. And then like, and I'm like, that's kind of fucked up.

• 1:04:25Hannah Berner?

  Or it's like the most random thing. Like I'll see two guys sitting next to each other at my standup show. And like they'll immediately become best friends after saying like four words to each other. Like I got his number and like we're hanging out tomorrow.

• 1:04:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, they say because they don't have, they don't feel competition between each other because there's enough seats for all the men. But women feel insane competition because there's not enough seats for us.

• 1:04:46Hannah Berner?

  Well, it's like, cause we, we are like trying to protect. No, they're protecting and we're the attackers. Like we have to get power. So we have to like.

• 1:04:55Paige DeSorbo?

  You know what I said to a man over the weekend? I said, yeah, and we're the only species that's attracted to our number one predator. And he looked at me and goes, oh.

• 1:05:06Hannah Berner?

  He goes, it's 7 a.m.

• 1:05:09Paige DeSorbo?

  He goes, I was just asking if you wanted still or sparkling.

• 1:05:14Hannah Berner?

  Do you know why I couldn't go to dinner that night?

• 1:05:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Why?

• 1:05:17Hannah Berner?

  Cause I was editing the podcast.

• 1:05:20Hannah Berner?

  Took all day fighting for my life. Shout out to Grace. We respect your work.

• 1:05:23Paige DeSorbo?

  No, we really do.

• 1:05:24Hannah Berner?

  Back in the day when I was editing the pod, we didn't have video.

• 1:05:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 1:05:27Hannah Berner?

  Now it's like, there's video, there's baked in ads, there's like...

• 1:05:32Paige DeSorbo?

  No, she does a lot.

• 1:05:34Hannah Berner?

  It's, she's talking to the CEO of Dunkin' before she go- like, it's crazy. But Grace sent me a photo, which I'll put in the newsletter, of her floating in water, saying, "Me, while you're fighting for your life." And you know what? She deserves it.

• 1:05:50Paige DeSorbo?

  She does.

• 1:05:51Hannah Berner?

  She deserves it. It's important that you make sure that your employees take breaks.

• 1:05:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Take a rest.

• 1:05:57Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:58Paige DeSorbo?

  No, you have to have good benefits and resting days.

• 1:06:02Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Josie literally takes off whenever she wants. I'm like, "Yeah, girl. Mental health day for me too, actually." She tells me when she thinks we should take the day off.

• 1:06:12Hannah Berner?

  She goes, "We've gone too far."

• 1:06:13Paige DeSorbo?

  She's like, "I cancelled everything." I'm like, "You can't cancel."

• 1:06:16Hannah Berner?

  She goes, "It's been a long weekend."

• 1:06:18Paige DeSorbo?

  One day, one day she really did call me and she goes, "I think you're gonna be tired for that in two days, so I'm gonna cancel it." I'm like, "No, we can't cancel that." She's like, "No, I'm gonna."

• 1:06:28Hannah Berner?

  I do love though, when someone puts something on my schedule and they're like, "Are you sure?" And I go, "You're so fucking right." I'm gonna be, I'm not gonna make it.

• 1:06:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Um, one thing we can't cancel is, well, it'll be today, Tuesday, May 12th, Daphne Summer is launching. Oh, Daphne Fitz. And I really, like, I've been trying to make a bloomer for a really long time.

• 1:06:48Hannah Berner?

  Wait, what is a bloomer?

• 1:06:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, the little, like, shorts that look like, cause I feel like they're more pajama than they are, like, going out, out.

• 1:06:57Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:58Paige DeSorbo?

  And like, in the summer, I wanted like, a little strip. So I've been like, trying to make them in different fabrics and I, we finally like, figured it out. So they're launching.

• 1:07:05Hannah Berner?

  Woman in STEM.

• 1:07:06Paige DeSorbo?

  And we just have like, cute little like, sets for over bathing suits. It's really fun summer stuff.

• 1:07:11Hannah Berner?

  How many pieces?

• 1:07:12Paige DeSorbo?

  A lot.

• 1:07:12Hannah Berner?

  You, I don't know. I'm not involved in that part.

• 1:07:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, a full summer collection. Like, there's like, three different pants, matching tops.

• 1:07:19Hannah Berner?

  I'm just like, so happy for you, cause I feel like you were meant to say, "I came out with a collection." You love saying the word collection.

• 1:07:27Paige DeSorbo?

  I really am trying. And I'm really trying to lean, I'm leaning into Daphne this summer. Like, I really just want to lean into it. And our show. And Giggly Swag.

• 1:07:37Hannah Berner?

  Forgot so much.

• 1:07:40Paige DeSorbo?

  I have to go, actually, I just realized.

• 1:07:41Hannah Berner?

  Oh, yeah, she goes, actually, never mind, I have to go. Forget all that. Oh, I want to leave us on a mental health moment.

• 1:07:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 1:07:47Hannah Berner?

  I was getting a spray tan at 10:00 PM in LA. And.

• 1:07:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Boom, period, mental health.

• 1:07:53Hannah Berner?

  I was talking about asking her about if she does a lot of weddings, because it's like wedding season. And she's like, you know, it's interesting, when a bride is really crazy, more crazy things happen to her the weekend of the wedding. Or when a bride is calm, less stuff happens to her. And I was like, that is so life. Like, when you come in with bad energy, bad energy finds you. It's almost like you, you, um.

• 1:08:21Hannah Berner?

  You manifest craziness. We're like, not that crazy things aren't happening to the calm bride, but it doesn't like extrapolate. Like, it doesn't, crazy word. It doesn't like build and become more chaotic. It's like if you're in a china shop and you're a bull.

• 1:08:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:34Hannah Berner?

  If you trip on one thing and then you stop, it's like you tripping and then getting mad and then you hit something else and that hit something else and it becomes crazy. So. I just want everyone to leave with that. Be, try to be the calm bride and the world will respond to you.

• 1:08:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Love that.

• 1:08:49Hannah Berner?

  We love you guys so much. Thank you for giggling and we'll talk to you later. Bye.

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