2023 UNLEASHED: The Top 12 Most Life Changing Lessons

🔥 EXCLUSIVE NEW EPISODE ALERT! Unleash Your Potential with Insights from Global Icons🔥 Today, I’m doing something extraordinary! I’ve curated an extraordinary collection of the most powerful, life-changing lessons from my guests, designed to empower you on your journey to greatness. This isn't just another episode; it's a masterclass in success, resilience, and personal growth, featuring wisdom from world-renowned figures across various fields. Dive into the profound insights of legends like Tony Robbins, Matthew McConaughey, Jason Derulo, and Alex Hormozi. Learn from their unparalleled experiences to elevate every aspect of your life. Discover the keys to success, leadership, and conquering adversity with the incredible stories of Troy Aikman, John Maxwell, and Tim Tebow. Their journey of grit and determination is a blueprint for anyone looking to make their mark in the world. Experience the transformative journeys of Jewel, Jeezy, Granger Smith and Rainn Wilson. Their tales of creativity, overcoming challenges, and personal triumphs will inspire and motivate you to new heights. This special episode is packed with valuable insights for everyone, whether you're seeking to tap into your inner strength, find your purpose, or add more joy and laughter to your life. This isn't just a walk down memory lane; it’s a journey into the heart of what makes us strive for greatness. Tune in to relive (or watch/listen for the first time) to these extraordinary conversations and life-changing lessons that can redefine your path to success and fulfillment. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ed Mylett?

  I hear so many small business owners say the exact same thing. They just never have enough time in the day. Well, I measure time differently. I've compressed, condensed, heck, I've bent time. My first day is 6 a.m. to noon. My second day starts at noon and goes till 6 p.m. and my third day, 6 p.m. to midnight. I now get 21 days a week. Stack that up over a month, over a year, over five years, and my life's completely different than it would have been otherwise. And if you want to win as an entrepreneur, you have to compress your time too. And you definitely can't afford to waste it. Waiting weeks on a big bank for capital? Your best bet's to work with my friends at Cardiff. They know how to compress time for entrepreneurs. They get your business approved in minutes and funded the very same day. They're America's

• 0:42Ed Mylett?

  favorite small business lender, and for good reason. Over 20 years in business, over 12 billion deployed to small business across America. Stop letting bank delays slow down your momentum. Head to cardiff.co/ed. That's cardiff.co/ed. cardiff.co. Real growth, fast funding. Cardiff, borrow better.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  Mr. President, my company, for me, of the explosion on our rig. On October 2nd. Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all heap the blame on me. Tom Cruise is.

• 1:12Speaker 02

  Digger got us into this mess.

• 1:14Speaker 01

  And Digger's gonna dig us up. From the director of Birdman and The Revenant.

• 1:18Speaker 03

  What would happen if I stopped drilling? You stop, you freeze to death. That's what.

• 1:22Speaker 01

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 1:25Ed Mylett?

  I'm not the first nanny.

• 1:27Speaker 01

  Digger. See the trailer online. Only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17. Not a middle without parent.

• 1:36Speaker 02

  This is the Ed Mileage Show.

• 1:40Ed Mylett?

  Hey, guys. Today, we're going to do something very different. A little bit of a trip down memory lane. We're going to take the best of the show from 2023. And I know many of you may feel like you've heard every episode, but I have highlighted the moments that stood out most to me that I think can get you ready for this next year and do something great with your life. We've got highlights from Matthew McConaughey, Jewel, Jeezy, Troy Aikman, Tim Tebow, and a host of others. I really believe the way we've cut this together is going to make a big impact for you, maybe even more so than the individual interviews did. And if you haven't seen all those interviews, you're going to be in for a treat because we've distilled it down to the points that I think you need to win biggest in 2024. No matter when you're listening or watching this, it'll serve you. But if it's at the beginning of the year, like I think it is, this is life changing.

• 2:22Ed Mylett?

  And just a note of personal gratitude to all of you. We're the number one and fastest growing show in the world because so many of you share the episodes every single week. And I just want you to know, I don't take that for granted. I work very hard to do this to help improve and change your life. And the fact that you share this with other people is the highest form of repayment you could ever give me. So I just wanted to say thank you for doing that. I'm honored to be in your lives. It's a blessing to me. And I cannot wait to do something great together in 2024. The best is yet to come. Enjoy today's episode. God bless you and max out. If you listen to this show, you listen to this show because you want to have an happier, more fulfilling, more successful life, more than likely. And I have as a guest here today for

• 3:04Ed Mylett?

  the third time on my show, I'm so honored. The living of all the living people on the planet, the person who's helped the most people do that. About that, the billions of people on this planet and that have lived for the last, you know, 60 years, this man's helped more people have happy and fulfilling and successful lives than any other person, including me. And I'm honored to call him a friend. So welcome back. We're gonna do that together today, Mr. Tony Robbins. Welcome back to the show.

• 3:30Tony Robbins?

  Thanks, brother. Good to see you, Ed.

• 3:31Ed Mylett?

  You too, man. I'm curious, as a friend, to ask you this too. Where are we? Like, let's just, let's start with a premise, where you think we are in the world right now. I've always, you know, I respect people that can win in spring and summer. There's a lot of admiration for that. But I really respect people who can win during the winter or prevail during the winter. Do you feel like we're in that? Are we in winter? The media is telling us we're in the winter. Do you, where are we? Are we in the winter? How long do you think it's gonna last? What's your overall sense of things right now?

• 3:56Tony Robbins?

  Winter can be a beautiful time. But, you know, overall, the theme is more fear. The greatest opportunity of your life will happen over the next probably five years to six years because baby boomers are all getting older and retiring and about 87% of businesses never get sold. This is the opportunity for you to grow and expand. It's like winter, you can freeze to death, or you can snowboard and ski and build your next business and be home with your family and have a great time. I'm made for winter and my whole thing is help other people prepare for it because ignoring it or pretending it's not there is not going to work. Hoping is not a strategy. You've got to have tools and strategy and you've got to make yourself better. Today is the time to start retooling rather than saying, waiting for the government to rescue you. They're

• 4:40Tony Robbins?

  not gonna rescue you. There is no rescue. You got to participate in your own rescue.

• 4:43Ed Mylett?

  Winter's gonna be five years, seven years, eight years. That's a scary thing for anybody to hear. And so what would you say to someone with fear?

• 4:50Tony Robbins?

  You gotta stop thinking of yourself as managing your circumstances and remind yourself that you're a creator of your life experience. There's fear and there's faith. And as simplistic as that sounds, I ask people, what's the difference? They're both imagination, but fear is imagination undirected. It's like weeds, just grows automatically. Faith is you decide to be certain, you take action, you follow through. There's no guarantee of anything. There's no guarantee. I mean, people run around with a mask and they walk outside and get hit by a truck. The media is not designed to inform or educate you. It's designed to startle you. If I startle you, you respond. Like you don't experience life, you experience the life you focus on.

• 5:26Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 5:26Tony Robbins?

  If you're focused on things that piss you off, you have to be deleting the things you could be grateful for. If you're grateful, you're deleting things that could piss you off, right? Your brain is not made to make you happy. That's your job. But the way you get happy is progress. If you grow, if you expand, if you find something that's more meaningful, you're able to share with other people, it becomes more than just you, and you're gonna be happy.

• 5:48Ed Mylett?

  So someone's listening to like, okay, I'm inspired. I've got some perspective, but I'm afraid. I've got real fear. What techniques or strategies would you say to somebody if they're being honest?

• 5:59Tony Robbins?

  You gotta learn to direct yourself and train yourself to have certainty. And that's a huge part, as you know, that I do with all my seminars, because most people are living in uncertainty. What makes somebody a leader is they find certainty in a world that's uncertain. Even if they're not smart, some people follow somebody just because they're certain. They know what's going on. When people are uncertain, they look for somebody who's certain. Well, if you can develop that certainty, not based on enthusiasm, but based on a clear plan of how you can take advantage of winter, where winter becomes your best season, then the fear will disappear. But you've got to train your nervous system on a daily basis, because here's the problem today. The media are not bad people. They're good people, but they're doing their job. And what are they rewarded for? Catching eyeballs. And we all know when it comes to the media, they get paid by getting your attention.

• 6:43Ed Mylett?

  Welcome back to the show, everybody. Today's gonna be just tremendous. This is somebody that I've wanted to get to know for a long time and pick his brain. We've got a bunch of mutual friends. And I'm really excited that he's taken a space into sort of beginning to share more of what he's learned in his life and the journey that he's been on, which is a freaking remarkable life journey with some of the most amazing stories I've ever heard in my life. By the way, he's also an Academy Award winner, Best Actor. And so if you don't know who he is, you've been living under a rock for a long time. And today we'll uplift that rock and you'll get to know him a lot better than you probably ever have before. So Matthew McConaughey, welcome to the show, brother.

• 7:25Matthew McConaughey?

  Ed, my like, good to be here with you, Ed.

• 7:27Ed Mylett?

  You paint this amazing distinction because I know it's been true in my life between need and want and why need is not a real good space to be in.

• 7:36Matthew McConaughey?

  I'm in Hollywood. I'm sleeping on this guy's couch, Don Phillips. I'm below a thousand bucks. I've been there a few weeks. I'm like, can you give me an agent meeting? And he snapped at me. Not yet. You need it too much. What you need to do is get the hell out of here. Go with your buddies and go ride motorcycles somewhere until you quit needing it so much because if Hollywood smells you needing it, you're done. You're never in. And I did. About a week later, after I returned, we're sitting there at dinner. He goes, you're ready tomorrow morning. We got a meeting, William Morris. You're gonna go down. And I was like, oh, cool. Five weeks earlier, I would have oversold myself and they'd have been like, I'm not sure this guy's really, you know. Instead, I went in, really let them know, no, I actually think you need me.

• 8:18Matthew McConaughey?

  I got an agent and then I damn it, my first two auditions in Hollywood from that agent, I got the job.

• 8:24Ed Mylett?

  There's this quote I read of you said, I'd rather be a good man than a nice guy.

• 8:28Matthew McConaughey?

  Yes.

• 8:28Ed Mylett?

  And I think it goes to this point to some extent about standing for something. I read your book, My Son Went Off to College. I said, Max. Be a good man, don't be a nice guy. And what that meant in our world was, hey, man, when you're confronted with something where you need to fit in and do something that's against your character and your values and beliefs, you don't need to be a nice guy, you need to be a good man, right?

• 8:47Matthew McConaughey?

  I also say in the book, be less impressed, more involved. Nice guy, not a bad thing to be, but you are just connecting the safe dots. You're not really involved. You're not having an opinion, you're not saying, no, actually, I disagree, in the face of the masses that might have a different opinion. A good man has to sacrifice some things, has to take some risks and take some responsibilities and follow through on them. Do we have the courage to take that into the daylight? As Emerson says, tomorrow, when the lights are on and you're in the stadium, do we have the courage to go, I know that's true, I'll follow up on this, in the face of adversity?

• 9:22Ed Mylett?

  You make this distinction between joy and happiness. And I have never heard this before in my life.

• 9:29Matthew McConaughey?

  Happiness, as most of us are taught, is result oriented. If then, if I get this, then I will be happy.

• 9:40Matthew McConaughey?

  If I reach this goal, then I will be happy. It's almost like a ta-da moment. There's no ta-da moment. There's no hill that you get to the top of and you go, ah, finally, I did it. Because what do you see, oh, once you get to the top? A thousand other hills. What I've noticed is joy is more the verb, enjoying the process of the doing. The best we can do is get to the end of this life and say, look back and go, well, I didn't make it to the top, but how many stairs did I ascend? Or how wide did my stairs reach? Or how deep did my roots grow? Just tally it up. And if there's life after this, hopefully, the prime mover's going, well done. But I mean, I think that's as good as it gets.

• 10:25Ed Mylett?

  I'm so excited to have this man here today. He doesn't need any introduction, he's one of the most famous people in the world. But what I was just telling him off camera, one of the things I admire most about him is he's a very unique combination in one human being because he's got an incredible track record. Most of you may not know about as an entrepreneur, built a hundred million dollar, way past that net worth. He's only sold about 250 million records. So he's got kind of that going for him. He's also, you know, one of the most 20 most followed people in the world on social media, over 100 million combined followers. But he's written a book. I told him I read it in two days and the first thing I told him is you need to do another one and you keep doing this because it's outstanding. Very rarely does someone who's achieved this level of success,

• 11:08Ed Mylett?

  take the time to write a book to teach you how they did it because they're too busy doing it. Yeah. Most people that write books about how to do it haven't done it. Yeah. And he's done it. So Jason Derulo, welcome to the show.

• 11:19Speaker 06

  Thank you, man. Thanks so much for that intro, especially coming from you. It means a lot, man.

• 11:23Ed Mylett?

  Thank you. The thing you say is you say success is rented. It's not owned. People get a little bit of success and then they cool it. They make a little bit of money. I'm making a hundred grand a year. I'm rich now.

• 11:34Speaker 06

  The rent is always going to come. There's always going to be a younger, more hungrier version of you that's coming next. It's never like one day I'm just going to be like, ah, I'm cool right here.

• 11:45Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 11:46Speaker 06

  No. So I'm always thinking about like, how do I get to the next level? How do I get to the next level? And I think you have to be able to humble yourself enough to bring yourself down enough to realize that there's always room to grow. Even where I'm at in my life today, I'm trying to figure out how do I get better. I'm always learning and I learn from anybody and everybody. People can say some really hurtful things. If you like, take a look at it, you could be like, damn, I could actually, I could actually listen to that and kind of, you know, implement that within my life. You can only rent success because if you don't keep paying that rent, it can easily be gone tomorrow.

• 12:20Ed Mylett?

  The achievement train, like the accumulation of awards or stuff? There was a point where I was like, this doesn't quite juice me like it did, and I'm not even sure it's healthy. It kind of morphed at some point into, who could I become? That one doesn't tire me out and doesn't feel nearly as daunting.

• 12:37Speaker 06

  When I was a kid, I would have like this Lamborghini on my wall. And I'm like, I'm gonna have that Lamborghini one day. And it was about like stuff, you know? Like my parents would argue about money and I'd be like, I'm gonna fix that. When I get money, like, my parents are no longer gonna argue. And I thought that like stuff and just owning things would make me happy. But my happiest moments have always been in the grind. It's the journey that I've enjoyed the most. It's looking back at those 2 a.m.s, those 3 a.m.s, those 4 a.m.s like, oh, you know, I was in the grind, I was doing my thing, I was, I was trying to make it. Those are my favorite moments.

• 13:13Ed Mylett?

  You talk about choosing your competition. This is another super big key to success and making your dream come true.

• 13:19Speaker 06

  The average thing for somebody to do is pick somebody in their class and be like, okay, I want to become a basketball player and so does he. Okay, I gotta make sure that I'm better than him. But the fact of the matter is, he's not going to the NBA. And if that's your competition, neither are you. You have to pick somebody in your mind that is way beyond what you're, what you can imagine within your own circle. Because chances are, the people in your circle are not going to make it. Don't try to compete against the people around you. Compete against the person that is already doing the thing that you want to do at the highest, highest level. How can you become what they are but more?

• 13:54Ed Mylett?

  This is one of the all-time best pieces of advice ever given on the show. For real, legit. Guys, you've watched fail. What did they do that you should not do?

• 14:04Speaker 06

  The difference, I think, for me was I was always humble enough to know that I still had to grow. I still had to become somebody else. I still have to wake up and put the same work ethic that I had when I was hungry. Now, just because I have accomplished some things in my life doesn't mean that I can now rest. I need to have that same fire that when I was actually hungry and like, you know, couldn't get something to eat when I wanted to get something to eat. I need to always remember who that person is and keep that same fire. But I've seen other artists, once they make it, they feel like they've made it and they stop to smell the roses. There's not enough time in the day to stop and smell the roses because there's somebody on your ass all the time. There's always that somebody on your tail.

• 14:50Speaker 06

  So you just gotta keep pushing with that, with that same intensity. You can't let people catch up.

• 14:55Ed Mylett?

  This person sitting across from me, he's been on the show before. You guys all went nuts when he was on, but I gotta tell you, he's probably the person whose content I share the most on the planet because I think it's that good. I really, really like a lot of people in the business space. I admire and listen to very few. And he has risen up the list for me of the people that I admire and I listen to the most because his content is so good, his message is so good because it's based in actual results and actual experience. My guest today is Alex Hermosy. Welcome back, brother.

• 15:39Alex Hormozi?

  Thank you for having me and such a gracious introduction. I just to apologize ahead of time to the audience, there's no way I will live up to that, but I'll do my absolute heart.

• 15:49Ed Mylett?

  He will. Fifteen minutes in, he will have exceeded it. Look, here's how I got wealthy. I don't play checkers in business. I'm playing chess. I've got multiple moves that I'm already making in front of the other one that set up something else. Most people are like, I just gotta get this client. And then once I get that, I'll breathe out loud and then I'm gonna go through this arduous, grinding, debilitating, horrific, self-loathing process to get one more.

• 16:15Alex Hormozi?

  You can only see as far as like what's in front of you. If you are barely making rent and you're barely making payroll, it's really difficult to think about brand. It doesn't make it less important though, but it's just really hard. Pick one method. You can pick warm reach outs, you can pick cold reach outs, you can pick making content, you can pick running paid ads, and those are all the things that you can do. So we start with the core four that a person can do. But of course, all four work better together. Now, if you didn't have that, the likelihood that you close them would be way lower. But you would attribute the failed close to bad cold calling. But you could have given the assist with brand, with content.

• 16:47Ed Mylett?

  But what if the sales cycle of your product is different? Does that dictate which way you should go? I'm a Realtor. Do you pick a lane, all of the lanes? And does that matter that the product isn't a consumable can of Coca-Cola or a bottle of water, but it's a transaction experience that you're going to have to go through in the sales cycle?

• 17:06Alex Hormozi?

  I don't think it would matter at all. If you're a Realtor, warm outreach is going to be you reaching out to your friends and family, saying, do you know anybody who's interested in buying a house? Now, ideally, you'd probably not start with that because that's what every Realtor says. So it might be something like, hey, what's your dream home? Or something like that. And then you can start talking about something more interesting. Cold reach outs is you're just dialing numbers. That is cold reach out. If you're making content, you're talking about the houses that you're selling, and many Realtors do that. Then you have paid ads, which also plenty of Realtors either generate buyer or seller leads that they call and then they can help them sell their house. So that would be the core four. A good Realtor should also have friends who are ancillary to the industry. Say you want to sell the vacation on the plane flight. And so a lot of people, when they want to sell stuff, they talk about the widgets, right? They talk about TSA, they talk about checking their bag and taking their shoes off and who they're going to sit next to on the plane and the seat and how long the flight's going

• 17:49Alex Hormozi?

  to be and the modules and the services and whatever. But people just want Maui. You should be describing the beach and the ocean and what they're going to experience the moment they get into the hotel room, right? And they can open up the curtains and they look out the window. Like, that's what we should be describing, not how they're going to get there. And this is a little hack for everyone. Any type of services business, let's say you're an agency that does SEO, whatever, and it takes you 14 days to on-ramp somebody. Rather than saying, we're going to touch you in every week, in that week, you probably do like 25 things, right? But you're going to have one meeting. If you want to be really clever... Every day, send an email that says, "Hey, no need for reply. Just want to let you know we did these three things. We'll recap at the end of the week, but I just want to let you know where we're at." If you send progress reports every day, what happens is you create multiple reinforcement cycles.

• 18:33Alex Hormozi?

  And so you're setting and completing, setting and completing. And so at day seven, when normally your competitor has only talked to them, this is the first time they've talked to them since the sale, you had a warm handoff and they've received communication from you every single day. So this is like the eighth touch point for them. And now their trust in you is so much higher, which then translates to way lower backouts, way higher ascensions into whatever your next revenue thing is, or the next product or expansion revenue, and more referrals and testimonials.

• 19:01Ed Mylett?

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• 19:45Ed Mylett?

  Go to ro.co/milet to see if you qualify. That's R-O dot C-O slash Mylett to get started on Ro. For side effects of GLP-1 medications, including boxed warning, go to ro.co/safety. R-O dot C-O slash safety. So when I ended up buying the island, we had to do all of our outdoor decorating, and I spent a fortune in the first half of the place. And I'm like, "I don't want to do this anymore, but I want the best stuff." And that's where Wayfair came in. My wife wanted to get this new garden bed, and Wayfair was the place that offered the perfect solution. Wayfair also helps you create a home that stands up to real life with quality products, great value, and trusted reviews. Wayfair verified products are hand-vetted by product specialists. They use a 10-point quality inspection system. Here's all I can tell you. The stuff has lasted over time. It looks great. I get compliments on it.

• 20:30Ed Mylett?

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• 21:06Alex Hormozi?

  You are happy right now. This is the best.

• 21:10Alex Hormozi?

  This is the best version of me I've had so far. But I, I realized for me that my, when I look back on my short life, the times that I have, that I look at the good old times were always the times where I was in pursuit, not when I was in achievement. The idea that I think inhibits or prevents a lot of entrepreneurs from continuing down the path is that they are like, I'm not happy. Happiness, a lot of times is just a circumstantial response to whatever external thing. You can be joyful if you reframe the joy around the person you are becoming by doing the hard work. The thing that has, I think, right now been my biggest area of interest in terms of my own performance, has been truly divorcing outcome from winning.

• 21:55Alex Hormozi?

  I want to be the father that when Timmy wins 10-0, I can look at him and be like, I'm disappointed in you, not because of the outcome, because I know you could have tried harder. And on the flip side, if he loses 10-0, I want to be like, Timmy, you worked your ass off. You left it all on the field. I'm proud of you. I want to be Timmy to me. If I know that I had done everything in my absolute power to prepare, then I could still be proud of me and I would have earned my approval.

• 22:22Ed Mylett?

  Today's special. It's not every day you sit across from a three time Super Bowl champion, Super Bowl MVP. Let's just be real, one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time, one of the greatest athletes of all time. And by the way, ironically, I think actually one of the most underrated athletes of all time. It's a fact. But actually, as impressive as his football career was, I like the fact that the dream didn't stop there and he was able to, post-football, create an incredible brand, an incredible career, an incredible life, post-football. So I just want to pick the brain of the great Troy Aikman. Troy, good to have you.

• 22:57Troy Aikman?

  Yeah, great to be on, great to meet you. Been looking forward to this.

• 23:00Ed Mylett?

  You too. What's the through line, Dan, don't be humble today, between like a Troy Aikman, a John Elway, a Tom Brady, what is the through line that made you all great leaders?

• 23:10Troy Aikman?

  We are all different. We all lead in a different way, which is true of any field, of course. I think that probably what the through line is for all great quarterbacks, great leaders at that position, or in general, is that they, they put in the work and, and they're not outworked. First of all, you gotta play well, but you have to also be the guy who your teammates understand is, is there putting in the work and doing what's necessary in order to be the best that you can be. And I think that those guys that you mentioned, I'd like to think that I'm one of them as well, that your teammates never questioned your commitment, your dedication, and your persistence to being the best that you could be.

• 23:50Ed Mylett?

  A lot of people don't deal very well with rejection or failure, but a lot, a lot, and you know this, whether it's been business people you've met in your life, or people that are in a good relationship, or an athlete, guys work really hard to win a championship, and then something happens to them after they win a championship, that hunger, the drive, whatever it is. Most people deal very poorly with winning, is the truth. It seems like that has not happened to you.

• 24:13Troy Aikman?

  My approach, whether it's in football, or whether it was in broadcasting, or it's in my personal life, is that most people aren't willing to do the work. That, to me, is what has driven me throughout my life and, and, and everything that I've done. I feel like my success as a player was because I just refused to be outworked.

• 24:34Troy Aikman?

  And so I was gonna do whatever was required. It's been about discipline and commitment.

• 24:40Ed Mylett?

  Watching a lot of football, your rookie year was not gorgeous. You weren't winning a Super Bowl that year.

• 24:45Troy Aikman?

  No.

• 24:47Ed Mylett?

  And how you dealt with a lot of the rejection and failure, criticism that came with it. And probably even to this day, you get criticism, people saying things about you that aren't real favorable.

• 24:55Troy Aikman?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 24:56Ed Mylett?

  How do you deal with that?

• 24:57Troy Aikman?

  I was 0-11 as a starter. It was tough. I took a beating. We weren't very good up front. I just remember thinking, man, what does it take to win a game in this league? But I never lost confidence. There were days when it was hard. It was hard to be positive. It was hard to be upbeat. Fortunately, my very first game, my second season, we won. And so I got that monkey off my back. And then over time, we slowly got better and better. And then, of course, we won the Super Bowl in my fourth year and had great success. If you get criticized enough, you just learn that it's just part of it. Criticism just comes with the dinner. You know, deep down, if there's truth to those criticisms.

• 25:31Ed Mylett?

  Sure.

• 25:32Troy Aikman?

  So I try to evaluate myself objectively, and I don't dismiss that. My dad was really tough, demanded a lot. He treated me like I was a grown man from the time I was six years old. In some ways, that's good. And I do think that in a lot of ways, that is why I was able to go on and achieve a lot of the things that I achieved. But, boy, you give up a lot. You give up a lot of childhood.

• 25:53Ed Mylett?

  Your face just changed.

• 25:53Troy Aikman?

  Yeah, you give up. You know, you give up a lot when you're treated like that at a young age. I don't recall any laughter in our house. And, you know, everybody kind of walked around on eggshells. I'm not that way as a father. But with that said, I'm better now. But there were times then when you were around that. It made you uncomfortable. You know, you just weren't used to experiencing that. You know, you'd hear this laughter and stuff going on. You're like, what's going on?

• 26:16Ed Mylett?

  Do you think you were proving something to him as you were achieving?

• 26:18Troy Aikman?

  I think I always wanted to prove to him I was as tough as he was. I think that was what it was.

• 26:23Ed Mylett?

  Tough.

• 26:23Troy Aikman?

  Yeah. You had to be tough to survive in our house. And he was, pound for pound, the toughest person I've ever known.

• 26:29Ed Mylett?

  You're an amazing son. I'm sure he's unbelievably proud of you.

• 26:31Troy Aikman?

  The life I've chosen is definitely worth it. I have no regrets. There's nothing I look back on and think, ah, man, I wish I'd have done that a little bit differently. I mean, I know that I've given up a lot, but there's a balance. I used to think contentment was a four-letter word. Now, I really admire those that are content, as long as it's put in the right context. I now am finding contentment, but before I could never have been in that space. I feel like I've been a really good father. The only thing that's mattered to me is if my girls at the end of my life say, hey, my dad was a great father, then nothing else matters. I mean, you say, hey, you're not really thought of as being

• 27:13Troy Aikman?

  a top-five all-time quarterback. I don't care, but I think I could maybe make that top-five all-time dad list. That's what motivates me. That's what matters to me. Our story's going to be told by those who know us best, and I'm thrilled with where I'm at. I mean, life just keeps getting better. So, yeah.

• 27:29Ed Mylett?

  I think it's because you're getting better.

• 27:31Troy Aikman?

  Yeah.

• 27:31Ed Mylett?

  Every once in a while, I like to use my platform to highlight an up-and-comer, you know, like a rookie, just somebody who needs some elevation in their life. And so today is one of them.

• 27:45Ed Mylett?

  I'm just kidding. My guest today is writing his 88th book. He is a legend. He is a mentor to me. He's a friend. I'm getting emotional already. And he is a hero of mine. And I aspire to be more like him in my life. And I'm so grateful that he's in my life. I'm so grateful that he's going to share this time with us today for the third time on the show. And every time he's on, the downloads go crazy. And he's also one of the greatest communicators who's ever lived. And he's written a book about it. And if anybody is qualified to write this book, it is this man. His new book is called The 16 Undeniable Laws of

• 28:29Ed Mylett?

  Communication. Apply them and make the most of your message. And he does it every time I'm with him. John Maxwell, welcome back to the show, brother.

• 28:38John Maxwell?

  Ed, it's so good to be with you.

• 28:40Ed Mylett?

  An amateur speaker or a newer speaker doesn't like silence. They talk too fast and they talk too much, in my opinion. You are the all-time best at the pause and the moment in between the words so that it makes an impact.

• 28:54John Maxwell?

  The hardest thing to coach people in speaking is the pause. The reason that we're uncomfortable when we speak with pausing is the moment I stop, I give up control to the audience. And we subconsciously don't want to give up control. The pause underlines your words. If I pause, wow, the people are on that thought. If I don't pause, I immediately move them on. What happens is the people are trying to catch up with them the whole time. They're never with them because they're behind them. And if somebody's behind me, whatever I'm saying doesn't have its full effect. If we speak fast all the time, they can't feel emotionally the words. And if they can't feel emotionally, the words don't have the same impact on them.

• 29:36John Maxwell?

  When you pause, you give people a chance to hear the whisper. When you say things that are substantial and things that have meat to them and have application to them, if you pause sometimes, what you said whispers to your heart. In fact, I ask myself when I hear a speaker, did I hear the whisper any time during the speech? And I can only hear the whisper if the speaker lets me have a little time, a couple of seconds, just to settle in. Silence is an act of war against the competing voices within us. I want them to hear my voice, but there's a higher voice. My voice, they'll forget.

• 30:21John Maxwell?

  The higher voice, they will not forget. When you look at the audience, there are four words that they start with an F that you have to constantly be aware of while you're teaching. And the first one is how does my audience feel? Do they feel like they're happy and excited? And do they, do they have, are they already leaning in? You know, are they, you know, are they laid back? Then they go to that second F. If I can find out how you feel and I can say, you know what? I have felt the same way.

• 30:52John Maxwell?

  Oh my gosh, he knows what I'm thinking. He knows what I'm feeling. He, he understands me. And then that third F is, and let me tell you what I found that worked for me. So that now you tell them kind of what you've learned and then you use the fourth F is, and I think that I can help you find the answer too. And the moment that you get those four Fs and you're working the fourth, where you teach them, you follow me? It works. It just worked. One of the things I don't like about success is it separates us from people. And, and, and I hate that. I don't want fans. I want friends. I've spoken 13,000 times in over a hundred countries of the world. Of course I'm a great communicator, but what people don't understand, it was the practice.

• 31:34John Maxwell?

  You cannot separate action from success. And you can't separate intentional practice from success. After 13,000 times, of course I'm good because I've been practicing and practicing. But if they could have seen me on the front end, it would have helped them because that's where they are. When we tell stories about different times in our life, it does help people see us in another dimension that is very helpful for the, for the learning and the growth. But I don't like the separation that success brings. I wish there was a way to, to close that gap because you don't help people when you're separated from people. You only help people when you're beside them and you walk with them and they can connect with you, if that makes sense.

• 32:16Ed Mylett?

  I have, uh, it's my opinion, but I think it's shared by about 98% of the population. I have the greatest college football player in history in front of me here today. He was also a first round draft pick in the NFL. He also played professional baseball. He's also a TV icon now. And he's a great force for good and force for God in the world. And it's somebody that I've admired from a distance for many, many years. And so many of you have asked me, can we please listen in on a conversation with you and this man? And so we're going to do it today. Please share it because this is going to be epic. Tim Tebow, welcome to the show, brother.

• 32:48Tim Tebow?

  Thank you so much.

• 32:49Ed Mylett?

  I've read where your father would tell you that you were a miracle.

• 32:52Tim Tebow?

  My dad is such a massive hero of mine is because he did it in places where they said, if, if you tell people about the love of your God, we'll kill you.

• 33:06Tim Tebow?

  And he still did. When I was 15 and I was in the jungles of the Philippines and I met a boy who was born with his feet on backwards. And because of that, um, his village viewed him as cursed, as less than, as insignificant. And, uh, he was a throwaway to his village. But I knew that day that he wasn't a throwaway to God. And God was putting on my heart that he better not be a throwaway to you. I've known that I was supposed to fight for boys and girls, men and women, hurting people all around the world that were viewed as less than. Cause to God, nobody is. Nobody is. So that when he did give me athletic ability

• 33:47Tim Tebow?

  or strength, it wasn't so that I could carry a football or hit a baseball. It was so that you can lift him up first and foremost, but then hurting people that the world has put down. And you can lift them up. And that is still, um, what I believe is my greatest calling to this day.

• 34:05Ed Mylett?

  I wish, I hope people can feel what I'm feeling sitting three feet from you. You've taken a lot of criticism in your life, bro. A lot. You took a lot of criticism for standing up for your faith. Tons of it. You were made fun of. You were mocked. Then you get to the NFL. Ah, he can't throw. He can't play. Then you have the courage. Nah, I'm gonna go play baseball. Oh, Tim Tebow's a baseball player now, right? But you've been willing to take criticism for your convictions, your beliefs and your dreams. Most people aren't.

• 34:32Tim Tebow?

  For so much of my life in sports, I loved it so much. I was so passionate that I would be willing to sacrifice. It didn't come from a place of hard work. It came from a place of caring. Caring about the game. Loving my teammates. Loving the coaches. Not wanting to let people down. And so that was something that, that would drive me to go to the nth degree. I think for me in that, in that moment, I felt such a weight, a burden and a responsibility because I missed the mark. I did. As a leader, as the quarterback, as a part of Gator Nation, I bleed orange and blue. It was my grandfather's dream for him to see Florida win an SEC championship.

• 35:14Tim Tebow?

  And he died before that happened. It meant that much to me. I wanted to say something. I wanted to say something. I didn't have to. I didn't need to, but I felt like I was supposed to. And there's a difference. I believe when you do something wrong, the first thing you should do is apologize. And so I apologized twice. I'm just so grateful for my parents and trying to instill this is to apologize and then say how it's going to be different. And see, what's funny is people will sometimes quote and they'll be like, oh, you promised y'all were gonna win the national championship. I'm like, I never said that. I can't make a promise that I don't know if it'll come true. And so I promised something I believed I could control was that I was gonna be the hardest working player because I believe I could control that.

• 35:57Ed Mylett?

  So you know those pieces in your closet that you find yourself wearing like on repeat all the time? That sweater that kind of just goes with everything or these perfect pair of pants? Those are the pieces that make getting dressed easy and that's what Quince does best. Quince focuses on high quality wardrobe staples with premium materials like a hundred percent Mongolian cashmere, organic cotton. The styles are timeless, versatile and designed to become the dependable pieces you reach for every day. It's what I'm wearing right now. They give you the softness and quality you'd expect from a luxury brand without the price tag. Quince also makes premium pants, fitted tees and polos and breathable activewear. Quality basics designed to work with your wardrobe and hold up to everyday wear. I love their cotton tees. I'm wearing one now and I get a ton of compliments when I wear them on the podcast and when I speak.

• 36:40Ed Mylett?

  So find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com/ed for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. That's Q U I N C E dot com slash ed. So you know, I've been trying to take my health and my morning routine to the next level. And I used to do a whole bunch of different stuff, tons of different supplements. And then I found all in one in a drink with IM8. IM8 is the way to simplify your supplement routine. Finally, once and for all. 16 supplements replaced 90 ingredients across nine major organ systems in one drink.

• 37:18Ed Mylett?

  You can have all these supplements for $2.61 a day. I've changed my mornings. The whole IM8 routine has changed my mornings. I feel great and I bring energy to the entire day. Go to IM8health.com/Ed10 right now, or click the link in the description and use code ED10 for a free welcome kit, five free travel sachets plus 10% off your order. That's code ED10 at IM8health.com/Ed10. Code ED10 at IM8health.com/Ed10. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. What advice you would give people about living in a more intentional existence?

• 38:03Tim Tebow?

  When we want to be fulfilled, it is not what we're going to take in, it's what we're going to give out. And it's, that's just not even close. Cause you know how many conversations I've had and how many people that I've read about and seen that have reached the pinnacle of what they wanted to do in their occupation? And how many conversations we've had in the middle of the night where they said, "Man, I just thought it was going to mean more."

• 38:22Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 38:22Tim Tebow?

  "I just thought it was going to mean more." But man, when we step out of our comfort zone, when we all of a sudden, you know, the homeless guy at the light, we stop and we share with him and we give him something. We take him to go get some food and all of a sudden, his life isn't just different. Our life is different. And we need to go back and we need to remember what matters. Our non-negotiables, our convictions, all the amazing things that God has done in our life. And we need to focus on those things. And so, you know, when, when we get out of bed and we focus on those things, then we, we reframe our mind, we go back to what matters. We go back to what's important. We're encouraged by good things and now we go get ready to head out to life. I have two quotes on my, on my wall when I was young and growing up. It's one of them, "Somewhere he is out there, training while I am not, and when we meet, he will win." He's training for my scholarship. He's training for the championship.

• 39:07Tim Tebow?

  He's training for the trophy. He's training for the moment. He's training for all of that while I am not. I didn't, I couldn't, I can't get up in the middle of the night because I want to have a work ethic. But I can't get up in the middle of the night because I have a conviction that I want to be my best because I have one life, I have one opportunity, I have one chance. That can get me up at night, not because, man, I want to be so disciplined to be a hard Worker, there's no weight behind it. Very few people have the chance to be the best in something. And so are we going to wake up and say, hey, with this day, with this moment, with this year, with my life, with this chance, because I believe that I'm here for a reason, that I have purpose, that I can make a difference, that I love what I'm doing, that I'm passionate, which passion ultimately also just means,

• 39:51Tim Tebow?

  the passion is a 12th century Latin word that means to suffer. And where the word even comes from is from the passion of the Christ that Jesus cares so much for humanity, that he's willing to go to the cross to suffer for them. So when we say we're passionate about something, it's not excitement, motivation, or hype. It means that we care so much about something, we're willing to suffer for. So when we say, hey, we love something, we're passionate, know what we're talking about.

• 40:14Ed Mylett?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 40:14Tim Tebow?

  That means we're going to sacrifice. And so do you love it?

• 40:19Tim Tebow?

  Are you passionate about it? Right? Do you want to make the most of your life, of your time? We don't know how much time we're gonna have, but man, when we have it, let's run after the things we love and we're called to. I want to finish my life saying, you know what? I know I messed up so many times, but man, with the race that was set before me, I ran. And one day when I get to heaven, I don't want to get to heaven well rested. I want to get to heaven exhausted.

• 40:43Ed Mylett?

  How the heck are you doing this? You're like exceeding what I thought you would possibly do today. People are like level 26 on the treadmill right now. I'm ready to run through the dag of wall. And I'm dead serious right now. Fired up about today. Producer calls me about six months ago and goes, hey, Jewel wants to come on your show. And I'm like, yes, immediately, yes. But I had no idea what we were going to talk about. It was just, it was Jewel. We got a legend to come on my show. I'm like, absolutely, yes. And then I started to prepare for the podcast. And they're like, oh, she's a mental health advocate. I'm like, oh, that's nice. A celebrity who's a mental health advocate. There's a few of those. And then I started to dig into her work. And then I went, whoa. And then I fell in love with her work.

• 41:27Ed Mylett?

  And I've been in this loop for off and on for about six months, learning from her. Because she's not just a mental health advocate, she's a strategist. And she's somebody who has lived through this in a way that makes her authentic in the tools that she teaches and her experience in her life. Obviously, you all know her, multi Grammy nominated artist. My favorite voice of all time and somebody whose music I've listened to for about 20 years, but we're not going to talk that much about music today. We're going to talk about making your life better. So Jewel, welcome to the show. Thank you for being here.

• 41:58Jewel?

  Thanks. I really appreciate it.

• 42:00Ed Mylett?

  So good to have you. You guys, this is an all-timer. Did you think you're going to hear someone's nominated for a bunch of Grammys? We're going this deep on something? Like this is an all fricking timer. I think it's incredible that an 18-year-old young woman with really no upbringing has the vision, the intuition to even begin to stop and study like her hands for two weeks. That's mind-blowing to me. Educate us a little bit on this idea that you've noticed this and that I think you believe you can't be in two states at once, right?

• 42:27Jewel?

  I was 18. I was homeless. I wouldn't have sex with a boss. He wouldn't give me my paycheck and I couldn't pay my rent. Started living in my car. My car got stolen. I ended up homeless. I was having panic attacks. I was agoraphobic and I was shoplifting a lot. Your hands are the servants of your thought. Maybe if I can watch what my hands are doing, it'll tell me what I'm thinking. So I'm going to write down everything I do for two weeks. At the end of two weeks, I sat down to look at like my data, trying to figure out what I was thinking and it dawned on me, I hadn't had a panic attack in two weeks. What I stumbled on was being present. I stumbled on mindfulness, following my hands around, forced me to be so present all day long that I couldn't worry about

• 43:06Jewel?

  a future that wasn't happening yet and freak myself out into a panic attack. I hated writing when I wanted to steal. If, I loved writing. I'd written my whole life. Why did I hate writing then? I shut my eyes and I thought about shoplifting. I get very excited. My mind gets very sharp. Like I get excited and it's intense. I think about writing. My body immediately leans back. My voice drops. I get slower. My mind softens. My whole countenance changes. That was so interesting to me. So I wrote down relaxed and excited. And that was like my first way of trying to relate to these two physiological states. I kept a journal of three things, thinking, feeling, doing. Every time I was excited, I wrote

• 43:51Jewel?

  down thinking, feeling, doing. Then as I began to refine these words, I I changed it to dilated, relaxed, open, dilated, contracted, excited, anxious, worried. And also, it doesn't matter if it's a thought that triggers your contracted state, or if it's a feeling, or if it's an action. It doesn't matter. It starts a cascade and it's neurochemical. And you get this intense response in your body. So the first time I got this to work for me in a, in a really profound way was when I felt a panic attack coming on. I looked at my list on my dilated. I saw that one of the emotions that worked for me was gratitude. And I was able to substitute. I was able to force myself to do something on my dilated list

• 44:35Jewel?

  that elicited a physiological response in my body that caused me not to have a panic attack. And that was exciting because I really knew I was on to something that was going to change my life forever.

• 44:45Ed Mylett?

  I've heard you talk about this, that at some point you wanted to learn to nurture whatever you thought your nature was. And that at the same time, you said this thing about you really can't be in two states at once.

• 44:57Jewel?

  I had a bunny named Caramel on the ranch I was raised on. And this rabbit was raised with chickens and it pecked at its food and it waddled, which is adorable, until you move out at 15 and you go, what if I'm a bunny that thinks it's a chicken? Will I ever know my nature if my nurture was so fucked up? And oranges peel is its response to its environment to protect its fruit. Right? What if my psyche was a response to protect myself from my environment? And it had nothing to do with what was the fruit? I spent all of my time on this outward exterior when what actually really mattered was what was I inside of here? I just had to develop a relationship with it. And I had to develop strategies of getting to know my nature.

• 45:40Jewel?

  Writing was one way, being quiet was another way. And then ultimately other strategies. I don't like affirmative thinking. It just never worked for me because it felt like lying. I tried it. I looked in the mirror. I said, I know what I'm doing. And my body went, you're lying.

• 45:53Ed Mylett?

  That's right. Your neurology completely contradicts.

• 45:55Jewel?

  Physical state, it didn't change. Exactly.

• 45:58Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 45:59Jewel?

  So it was baloney.

• 46:00Ed Mylett?

  Correct.

• 46:00Jewel?

  So I had to find what I call an anecdote thought. The sentence I ended up finding that worked was, I won't quit till I learn. To this day, it makes me tear up. It is so true about me. And literally, it's sometimes just clinging to saying the sentence over and over. So that your body can relax, get your body into a different state. Now you're not going to have a knee jerk response, right? A neurological knee jerk response that is your nurture. You're going to be able to have a thoughtful, formed response that's in alignment with your nature.

• 46:31Ed Mylett?

  The pattern and the tools that Jewel just presented just there could be the trigger for you to become in a very resourceful, successful peak state as opposed to an unresourceful, lazy, unproductive state. It may not be sad or happy or anxiety or fear versus power. It may be just success. Someone listening to this or watching this right now that says, my spouse did this to me or my friend did this to me. Or I was raised a particular way. It felt like it wasn't all just my choosing, but that some things happened to me. What are some of those tools that you would suggest to somebody who's feeling those feelings?

• 47:00Jewel?

  In the game of healing and the, in the job of healing, nobody cares about fault. It's either you learn to heal or you don't. You learn to make a healthier, more nourishing choice now that you know better. Once you know what are you going to do, will you accept the responsibility of it? Learning for me to know the difference between a reason and an excuse. I had a lot of reasons why I couldn't be happy. But when I stopped accepting excuses for why I couldn't be now, my life changed. I think healing is a gritty, gritty job. It's you looking in the mirror and going, what do I got? No one's coming for me, I'm coming for me. What am I willing to do? What am I willing to do different today than I did yesterday? Will I take notes on it? Will I see if it worked? If it doesn't, will I try something new tomorrow?

• 47:44Ed Mylett?

  I still don't think I've produced the amount of bliss and happiness in my life that I'm worthy of, that I should have more. Do you relate to that at all?

• 47:56Jewel?

  Happiness is a side effect of choices. And often we don't know what's prompting our choices. And why are we being driven to choices that lead to the side effect of dissatisfaction? You know, unfulfilling relationships, unfulfilling friendships, things that don't nourish us, things that deplete us. I had to really come to terms with, it was me doing this to myself. I kept choosing abusive people. I kept choosing people that took from me. I kept choosing to give more than I should give. It was me behind the wheel of my body. What was I doing? What was driving me to these? Results that led to unhappiness. And could I choose differently?

• 48:36Jewel?

  Developing a lot of those tools and strategies for myself started helping me make better choices.

• 48:42Ed Mylett?

  I've been talking to this man about having him on the show here for, I don't know, like six or eight months. And you would think, well, you want to have him on because he's this, you know, Grammy nominated artist that everybody knows. And it's not really why I wanted him on. I wanted him on because this man has dimension and depth. Uh, he's a really unique person because he's obviously very talented, sold millions and millions of records. But he's got this dimension and depth because of his life experience and because of his work on himself and personal development. He's also got a book out called Adversity for Sale, and it's really, really good. I read the entire thing in two days. So Jeezy, Jay Jenkins, welcome to the show.

• 49:18Speaker 12

  What's up? How you doing, my brother?

• 49:19Ed Mylett?

  It's so good to have you, and I'm doing very well.

• 49:21Speaker 12

  It's an honor to be here, man.

• 49:23Ed Mylett?

  Well, thank you. You got this thing that you write about, about your something GPS.

• 49:26Speaker 12

  My mental GPS.

• 49:28Ed Mylett?

  This is so good.

• 49:28Speaker 12

  If your reputation is good and you're a good person and you pour into people, even at your hardest times, somebody might just point you at the right person or send you in the right direction because they know you're good. The reason why I call it mental GPS, I feel like there will never be a time in my life where if I lost it all tomorrow, that I couldn't get it back. Because I know I understand it and I know how to get back where I left. And then to keep up on that, to keep on that path. And when you from where we from, when you lose it, people go bad. They'll rob their brother. They'll take from their best friend. I've seen situations where people murder their closest friends. The sad thing is like, the culture respects violence more so than money. Either you're gonna be a leader that leads with evolution, or you're gonna be a leader that leads with violence. And that's how it works.

• 50:12Speaker 12

  You ever heard like, when we talk, we say, wow, the good guys gotta go. Those are the ones that get killed.

• 50:17Ed Mylett?

  Why is adversity the topic of the book? And why did you think this is the thing I want to talk about?

• 50:23Speaker 12

  My purpose is to continue to evolve no matter what, but to continue to give that information back to my culture and to my people and to be an example of what it's like to come out of that. Because every situation that I've been in, and it's funny that we was talking about God. I don't care how crazy it got. He always puts somebody in my life around the time that I needed some information or a ear or a connection. I truly believe that he does that for me to show. People that you can maintain your integrity and be a solid individual and still survive. You know, without doing anything that would go against who you are as a man.

• 51:06Speaker 12

  And then your legacy adversity to me is that small glare of hope.

• 51:12Ed Mylett?

  You said something so important that God has sent you that person when you needed him. The information, the insight, whatever it might be.

• 51:18Speaker 12

  Yeah.

• 51:19Ed Mylett?

  I want everybody to hear this. He does that for you too. The difference is you need to be in expectation that he's going to and aware that he's going to. Because he has probably sent those people to you previously in your life. And if you're not aware he's doing it or open to the possibility he's doing it, you will miss them.

• 51:34Speaker 12

  You have to be in a good place too, though. You have to be in a good place with yourself. I really realized that because there was times that I wasn't in a good place for myself and it was just a bunch of noise. I let things on the outside of me control my emotions, how I felt. I just had to come to a place where I just started to understand what peace was like. The minute I started going inward, everything changed. Because now I can't fault anyone in my life for what they done to me. I have to look inside and see what I've done to contribute to that. When I started to understand that is when things started to slow down.

• 52:09Speaker 03

  Priceline Negotiator.

• 52:12Speaker 13

  It's me, the.

• 52:13Speaker 03

  Priceline Negotiator.

• 52:15Speaker 13

  We don't need the jingle twice.

• 52:16Speaker 03

  What about a third time?

• 52:18Speaker 13

  Stop it. This is about vacation inflation and how Priceline negotiates amazing deals on hotels, flights and rental cars.

• 52:25Speaker 03

  Seems like you decided.

• 52:26Speaker 13

  Yeah, but I didn't mention that you can save up to 60% off hotels in the Priceline app.

• 52:31Speaker 03

  Time to read the timeline.

• 52:32Speaker 13

  Fine. No one deals more deals than.

• 52:34Speaker 03

  Priceline.

• 52:36Speaker 13

  Please stop.

• 52:36Speaker 03

  Priceline.

• 52:37Speaker 13

  Touche.

• 52:38Speaker 03

  Priceline.

• 52:39Speaker 13

  Priceline.

• 52:41Ed Mylett?

  You find yourself performing with Jay-Z or you're in the studio with Kanye or whatever.

• 52:45Speaker 12

  Mm-hmm.

• 52:46Ed Mylett?

  And I know the answer because I know, but I want them to hear this. You had, and then, and then you didn't really start in music. It's not like you, you had to have some massive imposter syndrome at some point. Like, do I belong with these dudes?

• 52:59Speaker 12

  I don't think I've ever had imposter syndrome. I've been around people that I felt like they wasn't who they say they are. When I started to get around certain people, I'm like, oh, this is a persona. This is an act. But I'm like, oh, what does that mean for me then? Am I doing the wrong thing? Or am I doing the right thing? Because I'm living this. Like, I would live and die for this. That was the only imposter syndrome. I was feeling like they wasn't like me. When I got into the music, the music was just a way to amplify that. But I still had what it takes to survive in the streets. And if you go to any penitentiary, any neighborhood, anywhere that anybody congregates on survival, they know who I am. And nobody sees me out like, yo, I loved the last album you did. No, they're just like, hey, bro, you changed my life.

• 53:43Speaker 12

  I love you, man. I'm praying for you. And that's the part that I can't let them down with. So that's why I refuse to give up that part of me that's who I am as an authentic person, just to fit in somewhere.

• 53:56Ed Mylett?

  I am really excited to talk to this man today because, you know, it's interesting. I was really a fan of his work. I think probably my favorite comedic television character of all time, seriously. And I know it's, I know it's my wife's for sure, is Dwight from The Office. I mean, like, the favorite character of my wife ever. And because of that, how much belly laughing I've done in my life because of this man, probably mine. And then I started digging into him. And his work outside of acting, to me, with all due respect, is a hundred times more compelling than his prolific acting career. And I mean it. I read his entire book in one sitting. And then I handed the book to my wife and said, you need to read this. And she read it in one setting.

• 54:39Ed Mylett?

  And I just think because his work affects me and the things that I'm, the stage of my life, what Rain's talking about, is the most important to me. So my guest today is Rain Wilson. His book is called Soul Boom, right here, Why We Need a Spiritual Revolution. And I couldn't agree more. So Rain, welcome to the show, brother.

• 54:57Speaker 14

  Ed, what a fantastic introduction. I gotta say that my favorite radio slash podcast host's wife is your wife. And I don't mean anything disrespectful. And I'm also wondering if the one, the single sitting of the reading of my book happened on the toilet or not?

• 55:14Ed Mylett?

  It was not. It was actually on a chair on the beach. So not quite. Although, although I'm 52, so I had to use the toilet three or four times as I sat there and read it, but I held it because the book was that good. So what do you mean when you say reinvigorate the word spirituality? And why do we need to in our culture?

• 55:30Speaker 14

  We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. Our reality is that we are divine beings. We are having this visceral, tangible, three dimensional consciousness induced experience as a human being on planet Earth until we're not anymore and we move on. This experience, which has to do with our divine qualities, the spiritual virtues that we carry with us, kindness, love, humility, honesty, our connection to our higher power, our connection to nature, all of the aspects of the, what I would call the higher nature of humanity, as opposed to our more egoistic, animalistic aspects of our humanity. When we are driven by our animal impulses, as I

• 56:15Speaker 14

  have been, those are the more animalistic parts of ourselves. That's what spirituality is. It's our relationship with our soul.

• 56:21Ed Mylett?

  I think about death a lot. I find that it causes me to be more present and want to live fully in the moment because I know these moments, to some extent, in my body are fleeting. My favorite people think about the end of their lives more than other people do. Whereas a lot of people, I think they literally believe, thinking everybody else is going to die except them.

• 56:41Speaker 14

  We are all going to die. This is the only culture in human history that has shunned conversations about death. Death has been a part of the ongoing human conversation for 100,000 years. In fact, the earliest evidence of spirituality in humanity is the earliest evidence of humanity, which are burial mounds 200,000 years old, where people are buried with implements they're going to need. On their journey, humans have always viewed death as a continuation of an ongoing journey. We dig in a conversation of death to better frame the experience of being alive. We are not, as a culture, talking about suffering enough. What is the purpose of suffering?

• 57:23Speaker 14

  The number one thing that psychologists point to with young people of why they are struggling so much in this mental health epidemic is they don't have resilience. So how do you build resilience if you don't understand suffering itself? And that leads us to death. You talk about death, you talk about suffering, and that builds resilience. And you understand that suffering is a part of life. It's not something to be avoided. If we are souls having a human experience and we're continuing on our journey, then what is our purpose on earth? Well, our purpose is to grow those spiritual qualities. One of the principal ways that we grow our souls is through suffering. So there is a divine purpose to suffering. Think of all of the suffering that we could end and reduce if we weren't fighting each other and building instruments of war constantly.

• 58:08Speaker 14

  There is a great mystery and a great purpose to suffering. Who wants to work with someone with a small life and a high drive and a tiny little life and lots of greed? No one wants to work with someone like that. We want to turn being self-centered from being other-centered. Being other-centered actually makes you happier. This process of service to others and thinking about service to others, you can start it for selfish reasons. Start doing it because it'll make you happier. It'll bring you more fulfillment. And actually, other people will be drawn to you like a magnet because you're engaging in this process of service to others. And then before too long, you might start doing it for yourself.

• 58:53Speaker 14

  And then all of a sudden, you just fall in love with the doing of it. Look at the data around gratitude, how service to others can help you, how it gives you a happier, richer life. Because at the end of the day, it comes down to human connection.

• 59:08Ed Mylett?

  Today's a really special show for me for a few reasons. One is what we're going to cover, the nature of the topics we're going to discuss today.

• 59:16Ed Mylett?

  I believe are going to move you. And affect you and I don't think you'll be the same at the end of this hour. That's my prayer. The second reason I'm excited is I'm a fan of this man just as a person as I've got to know some of our mutual friends, got to know him a little bit. I'm a, I'm a big fan of this man personally. I feel his heart and his spirit, even when he just instantly walked in the room now I felt it. Third thing is I was a fan of his music. He's one of the great country music stars of the last decade and I've enjoyed his work and his artistry for a very long time. But he's sort of in this transitional phase of his life that many of you are in too. But it was born out of sort of a tragic event that I want to discuss with him today.

• 59:59Ed Mylett?

  So Granger Smith, finally, welcome to the show, brother.

• 1:00:02Granger Smith?

  Man, great intro. Thank you so much, brother. I feel so much mutual respect for you as well.

• 1:00:08Ed Mylett?

  Thank you, man. Something happened in your family just a few years ago with your precious boy, River. Why don't you just take the floor and tell everybody what took place?

• 1:00:17Granger Smith?

  Yeah, June 4th, 2019. It's about 7:30 PM and that's a beautiful time in Texas, early June. And touring's great. You know, the, the, the, the sky is blue. It's before it gets too hot. So you get this blue sky and these big puffy white clouds and everything is in bloom. And I remember I was outside with my kids, three kids. And it was the night before I'm leaving for a summer tour. I was barefoot in the grass and the boys are playing water gun fight. And I'm spotting my daughter as she's doing some gymnastics. And my wife Amber's in the house, getting the house ready for bed, for everybody to go to bed.

• 1:01:00Granger Smith?

  And I remember out there just thinking to myself, I'm, I was holding my daughter's ankles. And I, I remember thinking in that moment, soak in this moment because it won't last forever. And I was thinking much more surface level, just the kids are going to grow up. These are good times. We're, we're living in the good times. The good old days are today. Soak in this moment. Everything was good, you know? Things were really good and I'd worked hard for a long time to get to a moment like this where work was great. The family was in a solid place. We, we had our three kids and that was, that was it. Like River was our, our youngest, he was three and he was the caboose. We had the family.

• 1:01:40Ed Mylett?

  You're in the dream house now.

• 1:01:41Granger Smith?

  Dream house, dream property. Everything we had built was there. It was good.

• 1:01:48Granger Smith?

  Shortly after I thought that, that soak in this moment, I noticed that it was quiet. Abnormally quiet for a three-year-old and a five-year-old boy playing water gun fight. And I thought, where's River? And that's not a crazy thought. River was an adventurer. He was always an explorer. He was always the wild man of the house, wild hair and bare feet. And I looked over my left shoulder and there he was in a pool, face down, inside the gated locked pool. And so, part of my recollection is just disbelief. How did he get in there?

• 1:02:31Granger Smith?

  I'm not sure. I'm seeing right. There's no way. That could be him, but it is. And I ran and I crashed into the pool. And I grabbed them and I thought, in my mind, I thought I was gonna grab him and flip him and he would be coughing and scared and crying. And I'd say, buddy, what are you doing? How'd you get in here? You know you can't get in this pool. How'd you do this? My son Lincoln wasn't around at all. But that's not what happened. Instead, he was lifeless, cold, like a rag doll. His face was blue. His eyes were rolling around in his head. Whore, absolute whore.

• 1:03:11Granger Smith?

  Once again, I just couldn't, my brain could not compute what was going on. He was limp and I took his limp body out and started CPR. But I didn't really know it, just what I'd seen in movies. And I kinda knew, you know, breathe into his lungs, pump his chest, breathe again. Not too hard, you know, don't wanna hurt his chest. And then I remember thinking, maybe that doesn't matter? Maybe I break his sternum? Maybe that's not a big deal, you know? All these thoughts just rolling around in my head. My daughter runs to get my wife. She comes out and I say, I need my phone. I didn't have my phone on me.

• 1:03:54Granger Smith?

  She goes back in to get my phone. She runs back out. We call 911. Dispatch is walking us through proper CPR. We lived out in the country, 10 minutes from emergency services. It seemed like an eternity. We would, we would occasionally get him to cough, but it wasn't conscious for him. It was more just a reaction of his body with air and water coming out. It was a, to say it was a nightmare is an understatement. Yeah. Going through this. It's every parent's greatest fear. Total shock. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Emergency services got there, instantly got his heartbeat back with electric shock. So I thought, dodged a bullet, you know? That was a close one.

• 1:04:40Granger Smith?

  Police officers are kind of holding me back and trying to get me to calmly tell them what happened. To them, it's a crime scene, you know?

• 1:04:49Granger Smith?

  One just sweetheart officer came up, this, this woman, and she said, "They're taking him to the hospital. Get, get in your car. Take your family and go." And I said, "Okay." And I jumped in the car. We, and I looked back and I saw that all these cops around the house and police officer, firefighters. And, and they said, "Go, we got it. We'll lock up the house." Chased the ambulance down the highway. Got to the hospital. They transferred him to another hospital when they found out how critical it was. The second hospital, the children's hospital, they told us, they said, "He's very, very sick, but we still have hope." And so I thought then, you know, I just keep, these thoughts just kept coming back like, "It's not as bad as it seems." "Okay, maybe he's going to have some kind of brain damage."

• 1:05:34Granger Smith?

  "That's okay. At least we get our little boy back." Then that all crashed when the doctor came in and said, "There's 0% chance of his brain ever functioning correctly ever again." 0% chance of life ever again. And we looked at him, we said, "Could we have a second opinion?" You know, this is the only thing we could think to say. He said, "Absolutely." Brought in another team. Neurologist came in. They said, "We're going to affirm the same thing you just heard. There's, there's no chance."

• 1:06:08Granger Smith?

  That was June the 6th, 2019 for me.

• 1:06:11Ed Mylett?

  River, I feel like I know him, like this was your wild man a little bit, right? This was the dude who went fast. Did you just, in that moment, decide, I want to have him have this last ride?

• 1:06:20Granger Smith?

  River, he loved going fast. Whether it was on a UTV or on a little toy tractor that he had, he always loved to go faster, faster, faster. That was his line, faster, faster, faster. And as we needed to donate the organs, they needed to take him into the other operating room. So as we started rolling it down, this bed down the hallway, I just had this thought, here he goes again on wheels. I told the nurse, I said, hey man, this guy loved to go fast. You think you could wheel him a little faster? And he looked around, and he looked at everyone else that had their hands on that bed. He goes, hey guys, we're going to set a Texas record today. And started going a little faster. Doors were opening on these, all these different hospital rooms, and people were coming out clapping and cheering him on. And I thought, there he goes.

• 1:07:05Granger Smith?

  He's going fast one last time. The slideshow was my biggest enemy. I was seeing images over and over of the night we lost him. I do still see the slideshow, even today, but it has lost its sting.

• 1:07:17Ed Mylett?

  Lost its power over you.

• 1:07:18Granger Smith?

  It does not have its power over me. I remember everything about that morning, reading out of John 14. The disciple asked Jesus, Lord, why is it that you manifest yourself to us, the disciples, but not to the rest of the world? Jesus answered him, if anyone loves me, he will keep my word. And my father will love him. We will come to him and make our home with him. Pastor Piper comes in and he says, that's not unconditional love. That is profoundly conditional. He was saying, there's people that I love, that I will save, redeem, restore, forgive.

• 1:07:57Granger Smith?

  And you could tell those people because those are the ones that keep my word.

• 1:08:00Ed Mylett?

  You've made a massive commitment. So if you're wondering like, hey, is this really interesting words this guy's got? Wow, really cool. I just felt really motivated and I'm gonna pick my Bible up. Hmm, so a lot more than that. So tell them what you've decided to do with your life as a commitment.

• 1:08:14Granger Smith?

  Jesus is talking in a parable and he says, "The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covers up." Then in his joy, he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. There's a word that we can't miss in that parable and it's joy. If you don't feel that joy, you're not feeling it right. I love this message. I love the healing that's behind it. I love the transformation that it brings, the power of the word itself that the Bible says is sharper than any two edged sword, piercing the heart, that I've decided to walk away from music just so that I could get out, write books and tell people about this message, this treasure in a field.

• 1:08:58Ed Mylett?

  The cool part about how God works is that what you're doing is just planting the seeds. God provides for the harvest in people's lives. And that harvest is gonna show up, man, these seeds you're planting in ways that you can't even imagine in people's lives at different times.

• 1:09:10Granger Smith?

  You think of yourself as a tree. You could bend and sway with the storms. You could have roots that go deep, but they can also intertwine with other trees around you to help you stand upright. And then, and then spreading that seed, someone 10 years from now, maybe, could come up and go, "Granger Smith, yeah, I heard you, you don't know me, but I heard you on Ed's podcast about 10 years ago." And you were that effect that John Piper was for you in the truck on March 1st, 2020. That was you for me. And I'll go praise God.

• 1:09:45Ed Mylett?

  There's all these things you can't take with you, but there are things you can leave here. And these are the seeds that you plant. I want the person listening to this on the treadmill right now. Who's like, "Yeah, I want to go all the way on that." When you're riding high and playing your music and there's sold out arenas, you didn't need it then, but now that you've gone through this tough time, what would you say to somebody who says that to you?

• 1:10:06Granger Smith?

  So many times, it takes tragic events for us to see that we aren't in control. Okay, so, hey, I'll give God the credit for that. I think that was God's purpose. I'll let this guy ride high for a little bit. I'll let him see that he thinks he has the world at his fingertips. I'll get him the authority for people to actually listen to him and trust him. Then I'll knock him down so that he could only trust me. We will find out over time whether or not it was a seed sown in rocky soil that grows up quick and dies off. But the seed growing in good soil will know by its fruit over time.

• 1:10:44Speaker 02

  This is the Ed Mylett Show.