I’ve Had a Crush on my Husband's Friend for 5 Years

On today’s episode, we hear about: A woman crushing on her husband’s friend A woman wondering how to tell her sons to stop giving her gift cards A man trying to overcome the fear of being fired Next Steps: 📞 Ask John a question! Call 844-693-3291 or send us a message. 📚 Building a Non-Anxious Life 📝 Anxiety Test 📚 Own Your Past, Change Your Future ❓ Questions for Humans Conversation Cards 💭 John's Free Guided Meditation 🤘🏼 The Dr. John Delony Show Merch Connect With Our Sponsors: Get 10% off your first month of BetterHelp. Get up to 40% off with code DELONY at Cozy Earth. Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe. Visit Hallow for a 90-day free trial. Visit Helix Sleep for special offers! Explore Poncho Outdoors! Get 25% off your order at Thorne. Explore More From Ramsey Network: 🎙️ The Ramsey Show 💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 💡 The Rachel Cruze Show 💰 George Kamel 🪑 Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman 📈 EntreLeadership Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:05Speaker 00

  How do I get over a crush that I have had on my husband's best friend for five years?

• 0:10Dr. John Delony?

  R- rut- rut- ro. When you say crush, what does that mean? You fantasize about this guy? You accidentally brush up against his arm? When you're sleeping with your husband, do you imagine him? Like, what? Give me the level of crush. What's that? What does that mean?

• 0:29Dr. John Delony?

  What up? What up? This is John. Welcome to the jungle. We got fun and games right here, talking about your mental and emotional health, and your relationships, and your marriages, and your kids. Whatever you got going on in your life, I'm here to talk to you. Go to johndalony.com/ask and fill out the form. We get hundreds of requests from all over the planet every day. Love for you to write in about what's going on in your life, and we will get you on the show. Let's go out to Las Cruces, New Mexico. I know where Las Cruces is. I got some wild adventures in Las Cruces before. Talked to Ashley. Hey, Ashley, what's up?

• 1:04Speaker 00

  Hi, Dr. John. How are you?

• 1:06Dr. John Delony?

  I'm doing great. How are you?

• 1:08Speaker 00

  I'm doing good. Super excited to be talking to you, and also extremely nervous.

• 1:13Dr. John Delony?

  Well, I'm glad you reached out. What's up?

• 1:16Speaker 00

  Um, so my question is, um, how do I get over a crush that I have had on my husband's best friend for five years?

• 1:25Dr. John Delony?

  R- rut- rut- ro.

• 1:26Speaker 00

  Neither him, nor my husband. Yeah. Neither one of them know that I have these feelings. Um, and I just, I really want them to just go away, but I feel like there's something underneath it that keeps it there.

• 1:39Speaker 00

  So, that's my question today.

• 1:41Dr. John Delony?

  Oh, man. Um, I've got lots of thoughts. Tell me more about it. Tell me what it is about this guy that... Like, oh, when you... Let me back up. When you say crush, what does that mean? You fantasize about this guy? You try to get near this guy? You like to... You accidentally brush up against his arm when he's walking? Like, tell me what crush means.

• 2:03Speaker 00

  So I don't do any physical contact with him, other than like, an occasional side hug.

• 2:08Dr. John Delony?

  When you're sleeping with your husband, do you imagine him? Like, what, give me the level of crush. What's that, what does that mean?

• 2:15Speaker 00

  Okay, no, I don't fantasize about him in a sexual manner. Um, I do find myself kind of wondering what it would be like. So he's a very adventurous kind of person. And he'll go, um, like, he'll go hiking, or he'll go fishing, or he'll go up to Colorado for the weekend. And it's just very spontaneous and very, like, off-the-wall kind of thing. And so then I catch myself wondering what it would be like to go do those things with him. To be with him, going fishing, to, you know, essentially, uh, I don't know, kind of create a life that I don't currently have. So, uh, those are the kind of fantasies that I have. But it's never, like, a sexual thing. I don't fantasize about what he looks like naked, or shirtless, or what it's like to kiss him.

• 2:58Speaker 00

  It's just more kind of like, I think it's my way of escaping my current life, just kind of fantasizing what it would be like to go with him to do those things.

• 3:06Dr. John Delony?

  Gotcha. So I guess, there's two things here. One, um, I want to relieve you from what maybe feels like a, um, a moral failure, or like, you're not, that you're doing something wrong. If you are in the presence, this is me included, by the way, if you're in the presence of some guy that's just telling you about the adventures he's been on, and the this is, and the that's, and then I went and climbed this, and scaled this, and hunted that, there, I'm attracted to that. Like, there should be, uh, my wife laughs at me about my crushing. She's like, "You crush on everybody, about everything." Like, the whole room should feel a little bit more alive when an adventurer walks in.

• 3:51Dr. John Delony?

  That's why Dos Equis made the most, most, what is it? The most, uh, whatever, what was the thing? The most awesome guy in the world? Amazing, the most amazing guy in the world? Is that what it was? Most interesting gun, like that's why they did that, right? Because it lifts the whole room up. And so if you're listening to these stories and you're like, my gosh, this guy's awesome. I want to really like that, that's normal. That should be that way. The next step is when you start world building.

• 4:20Speaker 00

  Right.

• 4:20Dr. John Delony?

  Whether you're world building in the bedroom, whether you're world building, like, God, I wish my husband would just leave me. Like, I would love to go out on these adventures with this guy. And then it becomes escapism, but it becomes a secret that sits in the middle of your living room, which is, I don't like the life I have that I'm co-creating with my husband. And that turns into, I'm not alive in my house anymore. And that turns into, one day this guy texts you and says, hey, can you come over and help me with something?

• 4:49Speaker 00

  Right.

• 4:49Dr. John Delony?

  You get what I'm saying?

• 4:50Speaker 00

  And you know, that's, I, I don't ever want to put myself in a compromising position to do that.

• 4:57Speaker 00

  I really try to just keep myself in check. I'm like, okay, you know, like this is, this is not real, these feelings that, you know, this is not something that you actually want to pursue. Cause I have like done some really deep delving into my own brain and like, okay, what is it that I'm so attracted to this guy about, aside from the adventures that he takes? And, um, I don't know, he thinks, he, well, he thinks I'm smart, which is a big one for me. Cause I guess in a lot of ways, I feel like my husband doesn't value my opinions or my thoughts on certain things, but this guy will ask me for advice on things in his life or what he should do in certain situations.

• 5:42Speaker 00

  He thinks I'm funny. He thinks that I, well, he encourages me in my personal endeavors, aside from my family and my husband. Like, I own my own business and he's very encouraging in that aspect.

• 5:58Speaker 00

  He thinks the things that I have already accomplished are pretty awesome. And he asks me questions and he's very interested in things that I have done personally.

• 6:08Speaker 00

  And he just, I guess it just makes me feel seen and heard in ways that I haven't felt in years.

• 6:13Dr. John Delony?

  It's, it's the two magical words, seen and known.

• 6:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 6:16Dr. John Delony?

  And those form the foundation of.

• 6:20Dr. John Delony?

  Any sort of romantic friendship, any sort of relationship, work employee, do I see you in front of, do I see you as a separate being than me? And then do I take the time to get to know you? And then the next one is, do I celebrate you? And only after I see you and know you and celebrate you, do I have permission to challenge you? And often, especially in a long-term marriage, after several years together, it just goes straight to challenge.

• 6:43Speaker 00

  Right, right.

• 6:44Dr. John Delony?

  And then somebody comes in and is like, dude, this is awesome. And your whole body lights up like a Christmas tree, right?

• 6:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I kind of get these, like, you know, like that weird pit in your stomach when you meet somebody for the first time and you get nervous around them. And then I kind of like, okay, I gotta excuse myself from this situation, because I don't.

• 7:03Dr. John Delony?

  Here's, here's the thing, you've done all the hard, I mean, you've done all the easy work, you haven't done the hardest thing.

• 7:09Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 7:10Dr. John Delony?

  Which is take on, head on, the challenges inside your own home.

• 7:16Speaker 00

  Right, well.

• 7:17Dr. John Delony?

  Unless you have.

• 7:19Speaker 00

  I, I have in certain ways, but there are challenges that I just, I really don't have any control over.

• 7:30Speaker 00

  So for the past six years, my husband's drinking problem has just, it's gotten really bad.

• 7:39Dr. John Delony?

  Okay, lead with that next time. Lead with that, I'm married to an alcoholic. Right?

• 7:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:47Dr. John Delony?

  So hey.

• 7:48Speaker 00

  It just kind of seems like it's getting worse, too.

• 7:50Dr. John Delony?

  Well, it probably is. And it becomes this weird dance where he's drinking to escape his life, and suddenly you start creating a new life to escape your life, which pulls you further apart from each other, so he drinks more. Like, it's, it's a recursive thing, right? It works in tandem, and suddenly y'all end up on two different islands across two different planets.

• 8:11Speaker 00

  Right, yeah.

• 8:12Dr. John Delony?

  But fantasizing about somebody else in another world and what I would say over,

• 8:19Dr. John Delony?

  putting more weight on positive things said than may even be in reality,

• 8:26Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 8:27Dr. John Delony?

  is a way to avoid dealing with, I'm married to an alcoholic, I don't feel safe in my home, I don't feel loved in my home, I don't feel seen in my home.

• 8:36Dr. John Delony?

  Because that's the, that's the choice, that's the place that you gotta park.

• 8:42Dr. John Delony?

  Can I stay in this relationship?

• 8:43Speaker 00

  I would say that you're pretty much spot on. Um, we've been together for going on 13 years now, so...

• 8:51Dr. John Delony?

  Does it matter? Does it matter? Does it matter? Does it matter? Are you safe right now?

• 8:56Speaker 00

  Yes, I mean, he's not physically abusive. Um, when he gets to a certain point in his drinking, he can get verbally mean, but he doesn't ever,

• 9:08Speaker 00

  um, hurt me or the kids or anything like that. It's just, you know, 85% of the time, I'm home alone with my kids because he's at a bar.

• 9:24Dr. John Delony?

  Keep going.

• 9:25Speaker 00

  And I just feel so alone sometimes. And I feel like I've done all of this by myself. You know, he used to tell me how much he wanted a big family. And we've accomplished that. Well, I mean, we have five kids. And, um, but I feel like, okay, why did you want such a big family? If it's just gonna be me by myself all the time with them? And you're never here present. And when you are here, you might be here physically, but you're not here emotionally.

• 9:56Dr. John Delony?

  That's what I was gonna say. He left you a long time ago.

• 10:00Dr. John Delony?

  He still sleeps there.

• 10:04Dr. John Delony?

  But he left you and the kids a long time ago.

• 10:12Speaker 00

  It definitely feels like that.

• 10:14Dr. John Delony?

  And you've said the words feels like, feels like, feels like, which tells me you're in an ecosystem that has taught you that your feelings cannot be trusted.

• 10:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, I would say that that's probably accurate.

• 10:31Dr. John Delony?

  Okay, you're not crazy. Your husband's left you.

• 10:35Dr. John Delony?

  The question to be answered now is, who are you going to be moving forward?

• 10:45Speaker 00

  I have no idea.

• 10:46Dr. John Delony?

  Okay, that's the question to be answered. Are you gonna be a woman who cheats on her husband?

• 10:51Speaker 00

  I don't wanna be.

• 10:52Dr. John Delony?

  Okay.

• 10:53Speaker 00

  I've never wanted to be that person.

• 10:54Dr. John Delony?

  I know, I know. And I'm asking it this directly. And I know it feels assaulting. It feels heavy, right? Like, I'm asking this directly because I want you to take ownership of what happens next.

• 11:05Dr. John Delony?

  Because right now, your whole life is being done to you.

• 11:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 11:11Dr. John Delony?

  I want to have this many kids. Well, okay, I'll create this. I'll create this picture for you. I don't want to be there. I feel like this is nuts, but okay. I'm gonna keep drinking and hang out at the bar with my friends. You do all, run your business and get no support and no celebration. And by the way, take care of five kids as a single mother. I'm gonna spend our money. I'm gonna go drink. Bye. It feels not right. You just be quiet. This is how this is gonna go.

• 11:37Speaker 00

  Well, and I mean, I don't, I don't just let it go. I have said multiple, multiple times how much that I'm not gonna put up with this, how much I can't do this.

• 11:47Dr. John Delony?

  I know, but you do. And he knows that.

• 11:50Speaker 00

  And I do, but it's just, you know, where do I, where do I go? I have five kids and my business is, is okay, but it's not sustaining enough to take care of me and five kids.

• 12:00Dr. John Delony?

  I know.

• 12:04Speaker 00

  And it's just like, where do I go from here?

• 12:06Dr. John Delony?

  I know.

• 12:09Dr. John Delony?

  It's the terrifying reality that millions of mothers and wives face every day.

• 12:17Dr. John Delony?

  This is not how I drew it up.

• 12:20Speaker 00

  No, not at all.

• 12:21Dr. John Delony?

  And this is what, wasn't the agreement we made?

• 12:27Dr. John Delony?

  But you sound like a strong woman who's had a bunch of, this is the line. And he just steps over that line and you move the line again. Then you move the line again, which he hears. Behavior is a language. He just hears you like, I'm just, she just needs to bark at me for a while that I'm gonna go on about my life.

• 12:46Dr. John Delony?

  And so what I'm telling you about making, taking ownership. I want you to take ownership of the choices I'm about to make. Am I gonna be a woman who fills in the blank? Who cheats on my husband? And, and if that's gonna be your next move? Okay. Am I a woman who is gonna call my mother and say, or an old friend and say, I need to come stay with you for three months with five kids. That's a tall order, but that's what I gotta do right now while I save up some money? I don't know.

• 13:14Dr. John Delony?

  Are you gonna be a mom who just says, I'm gonna ride this out for the next six years and get two of these kids out of high school and get them over to EMU there in, in Portales and get them to school and then I, then I'm gonna make them like, I, I just want you to take ownership of what happens next.

• 13:31Speaker 00

  Right.

• 13:32Dr. John Delony?

  And, and it's a way of saying, okay, I'm done letting my life happen to me. And it might be that taking ownership means I have to make a three-year plan, for God's sakes, because that's just the economic realities of where I find myself.

• 13:49Speaker 00

  Yeah. It could be.

• 13:53Dr. John Delony?

  But you're on a slippery slope to become somebody you never wanted to become.

• 14:00Dr. John Delony?

  And I, I just wanna, like, I'll, I'll be here right now, I'll be here in the middle of that, I'll be here when you come back. Like, I'm gonna love you and I'm gonna want success for you, but I just see that path. Or you're gonna bury yourself in the middle of your living room, and I don't want that for your kids either, because I don't want them to lose another parent to.

• 14:21Dr. John Delony?

  And I say bury yourself, you're gonna take all of your feelings and fears and frustrations, and you're gonna shove them so far down in your chest, and you're just gonna muscle through the next minute of every day, and your kids are gonna say, I didn't know my dad because he hid behind a bottle, and I didn't know my mom because she hid behind her rage.

• 14:42Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 14:42Dr. John Delony?

  Does that sound fair?

• 14:44Speaker 00

  Uh huh.

• 14:45Dr. John Delony?

  And that's probably how you grew up too, isn't it?

• 14:49Speaker 00

  Actually, no.

• 14:51Dr. John Delony?

  No? I love being wrong on that one.

• 14:54Speaker 00

  My dad was awesome, is awesome.

• 14:56Dr. John Delony?

  So good.

• 14:56Speaker 00

  Um, he didn't really even touch a drink until I was out of the house. Um, this was not his, this, you know, I didn't grow up with this kind of life. And so, you know, I always hear you say that we marry our unfinished business, and I'm just kind of like, okay, then what the heck did I marry? Because this is not at all how I grew up.

• 15:21Speaker 00

  And I don't, I don't understand, you know, the, I guess, some of the choices that I've made, the things that I've allowed to continue.

• 15:32Dr. John Delony?

  Like, marrying your unfinished business is a, is, we call it a trope. Like, it's right a lot, but it's not gospel. I mean, it's not, it's not a scientific fact.

• 15:45Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 15:45Dr. John Delony?

  And there, people break their legs. People have accidents. People get sick. People take a drink and then take another one at work and then like they find themselves really struggling. Years, I mean, life happens. Okay. So I don't want you walking around beating yourself up for the choices your husband is making.

• 16:05Dr. John Delony?

  I do want you to take responsibility for what happens next in your life.

• 16:15Speaker 00

  I just, you know, I don't really have anywhere to go.

• 16:19Dr. John Delony?

  Okay.

• 16:22Speaker 00

  I have no money.

• 16:25Speaker 00

  I am, I don't know, essentially stuck, I feel. And I don't want to uproot the only life that my kids know to possibly put them in something that's even more chaotic and crazy. And

• 16:40Dr. John Delony?

  Like what?

• 16:43Speaker 00

  I don't know, like the household of a single parent. Um, you know, just the fact that, okay, you know, I, if I do leave my husband, if we do separate, um, I don't really trust his judgments and, you know, what, what kind of people are going to be in and out of my kids' lives, you know, um,

• 17:06Dr. John Delony?

  And so what you're doing is you're, you're, you're pre imagining a situation.

• 17:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 17:13Dr. John Delony?

  And you're trying to solve for it in the present. That's called anxiety.

• 17:19Speaker 00

  Well, I think that would pretty much sum up my life.

• 17:21Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah, I know, I know.

• 17:26Dr. John Delony?

  Here, here's, here's, I think you're, and you might already be there, okay? I think you're in need of a yellow pad from Walgreens for 79 cents, or I don't know, with inflation, maybe eight dollars now, but like a yellow pad and a pen. I'm going to send you a couple of things just for you. I'm going to send you a copy of Building a Non-Anxious Life, my book, and I want you to use the questions in the back of those chapters as a map. I want you to write down. The answers to the questions in the back of those chapters. Cause it's going to paint you a picture. It's good. The secret behind that book is it begins to distill down. What can I control and what can I not control? Period. And so I want you to write, I want you to go through that.

• 18:09Dr. John Delony?

  I'm also going to send you FPU, Financial Peace University, the digital class, the eight or nine videos that you can watch at home on your computer, on your phone digitally, that will help you build a roadmap for financial freedom. And then there's just going to be some very stark, like here is the reality of this. Here's the reality of this. And then I want you to, I'm going to send you three months with my friends at BetterHelp counselors, okay? And they're licensed counselors. They can meet with you on your phone or on your computer. Cause I know you got to work, you got five kids and you don't have time to leave and go see a therapist and then leave and come all the way back. They're going to hook you up for three months for free. And I want you to start seeing a regular therapist who's going to help you sift through

• 18:52Dr. John Delony?

  all of these things flying at you and begin to make some concrete next right steps. So I got you with some tools, okay, sister? But I want you to hear me say, you feeling trapped is real. You feeling alone in your own house is real. You about to make a decision you're going to regret because you're going to become somebody you don't want to be, that's real too. And how good it feels to finally have somebody see you and at least pretend they know you. I know that feels good too. All this stuff is, you're not crazy. You're not crazy. But you are at, at an inflection point. And I want you to own what happens next, even if it's being still for a year or two

• 19:33Dr. John Delony?

  years, while you make different plans, even if it is staging an intervention for your husband, whatever it is. I want you to own the next step. You call anytime and we'll get you back on the show. Thank you so much for honoring me by sitting up, pulling up a seat at the table. Coming up, a woman wonders how to ask her son for physical gifts, for real gifts, instead of just gift cards.

• 19:59Dr. John Delony?

  This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Everyone is talking about therapy, therapy, therapy these days. And I often hear folks say, "I don't think I've had any major traumas in my life. I don't know if I can use therapy." Listen, this is really important. Therapy isn't just for people dealing with major traumas. It can be for that, but it's also a valuable tool for anyone looking to improve their mental and emotional well-being. I see a therapist for both the big challenges from my past, as well as helping me navigate the day-to-day challenges that pop up. Many of you should consider therapy too. And if you're thinking about trying therapy, contact my friends at BetterHelp. BetterHelp is 100% online, so it's affordable and convenient for your schedule. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access

• 20:43Dr. John Delony?

  to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. And they also have over 10 years of experience matching people with just the right therapist for them. To get started, just fill out a short online survey to get matched with a licensed therapist. And if it's not the right fit, you can switch therapists at any time, easily, and for no extra cost. Talk it out with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/daloni to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P, dot com slash daloni.

• 21:15Dr. John Delony?

  All right, Huntsville, Alabama. Let's talk to Bonnie. What's up, Bonnie?

• 21:20Speaker 02

  Hi, Dr. John.

• 21:21Dr. John Delony?

  What'd you say, lady? How we doing?

• 21:23Speaker 02

  We are doing great. It's a gorgeous day.

• 21:26Dr. John Delony?

  Fantastic. What's up? How can I help you? You sound delightful.

• 21:33Speaker 02

  So I wrote in when I received an email from a local spa indicating that I had been gifted a massage. Problem is, I don't enjoy massages. Yet, this has kind of become the go-to gift that I received from my adult son. So my question is, can I say I'd like something else enough with the massages? Or do I just need to accept it graciously and stop being a jerk?

• 22:09Dr. John Delony?

  Oh, Miss Bonnie. There is, there is levels underneath all of this. What is it? What's the real question you're asking?

• 22:19Speaker 02

  So, the bigger question is, do I accept the time and attention that I'm given by my adult children? Or is it okay to, to ask for more? Because my, my philosophy so far is just to take what they give and, and build my life and be okay with it. But it makes me sad sometimes.

• 22:44Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah, but the, the only reason you would land there is that at some point you did not have their attention or care.

• 22:55Speaker 02

  Well, I, I mean, I think consistently, um, I, I'll send a group text. Uh, Easter lunch is at one o'clock at your Aunt McMarie's. Nothing. I get literally like, and I don't expect them to immediately respond. Or, but you can't give me a thumbs up within a 24 hour period.

• 23:18Dr. John Delony?

  Do they show up to the lunch?

• 23:20Speaker 02

  Um, less than half. We had a, fewer than half of my, of mine came to the, the lunch. Um, but it, it's even bigger things. I had, um, one of my sons is in the military and, and he was seeing a young lady on the base. They've decided to get married. Um, you know, it was just gonna be a courthouse wedding. Um, but he brought her home and I, you know, we did a nice lunch and, um, about six weeks before the wedding, I called him and just made sure that that was the right date because I was about to book my room. And he said, oh, oh, Mom, we broke up last month.

• 24:04Speaker 02

  I mean, it's like, you, you can't call me and tell me. It just feels like I'm so far removed from their lives.

• 24:15Dr. John Delony?

  There it is. That's the question. That's the question.

• 24:20Speaker 02

  I just, I don't know. I don't wanna be a burden. I don't wanna push.

• 24:29Dr. John Delony?

  Bonnie, you are their mom.

• 24:34Dr. John Delony?

  Why do you feel like a burden?

• 24:40Speaker 02

  Well, if it's a burden to have to respond to texts and if it's a, I mean with going back to the massage, I've said in multiple conversations, you know, that's not, it's just not really my thing. I find them awkward and yet I still continue to get them, which makes me think, okay, they just don't really care if I like what they, they're just checking off a box. And so I don't.

• 25:09Dr. John Delony?

  That, that, that, don't, don't blow by that. Let's sit in that for a second. Are you married?

• 25:16Speaker 02

  So I am married. Their father died in 2017. So I am married, but not to their father.

• 25:24Dr. John Delony?

  Has things changed since you got married?

• 25:27Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 25:28Dr. John Delony?

  Okay. Have, have y'all ever had that next conversation?

• 25:33Speaker 02

  So I have asked each if they liked my husband and consistently the answer is, oh yeah, he's fine. We just don't know him.

• 25:47Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah, that's not the question. That's, that's an easy question. That's an over there question.

• 25:54Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 25:55Dr. John Delony?

  What are they gonna tell their mom? No, we hate him? And what are they gonna say to you? You, you raised, you raised Alabama boys. They're gonna say, yes, ma'am, he's, he's kind. We just don't know him. We just don't know him is southern for, I don't want that dude around me. I don't like that guy. I don't know. I, you know what I mean? That's, I mean, there's a lot in, in those little southern, I, I just don't know him.

• 26:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:21Dr. John Delony?

  The, the bigger question here is, I miss my boys.

• 26:27Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 26:27Dr. John Delony?

  And I want to know what's going on in your lives. Is there something I've done that's made it hard for y'all to be around? Cause it really would be, it would honor me if you told me. What are you talking about, mom? We don't, we think you're a great, okay, but it would mean the world to me if you would just respond to my texts with a thumbs up.

• 26:46Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 26:46Dr. John Delony?

  Which by the way, I have, I can't, I could not even guess how many unread messages I have. And I leave them unread for one reason. So that I don't forget them. Cause I get so many text messages in a day.

• 26:59Speaker 02

  Right.

• 27:00Dr. John Delony?

  And it may be, they don't want to clutter up a group text, or they got it and they forget, or they weren't gonna go anyway, but the group text isn't the, who knows? But there's that next step that says, alright, we're in a different tier. I recognized I brought a new man into this relationship, our relationship, that's not, I get all that. I miss my boys.

• 27:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:19Dr. John Delony?

  And I guess what I would ask you to do is, for the last, what is it? 2017, so last eight years, right? Nine years?

• 27:28Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 27:29Dr. John Delony?

  There's been a increasingly faster tornado inside your chest. It's spinning faster and faster and faster. And because you keep putting things out there that you think are real clear signals, hoping they get them and they run right over them, or they blow by them. The story that you've told yourself is, somehow they don't like your new husband, somehow there's something wrong with you. And when you put something out without being super clear, it just confirms what you already believe about yourself. That I'm a burden to these boys.

• 28:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:03Dr. John Delony?

  And I would not continue to live like that. For your sake and for their sake, I would choose to enter into some sort of, hey, I want to just talk with each one of you.

• 28:16Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 28:17Dr. John Delony?

  Do they live in your same community or town, or they live all scattered across the country?

• 28:22Speaker 02

  So, uh, they live an hour and a half away.

• 28:26Dr. John Delony?

  Okay, that's close enough to go have breakfast with mom. I'mma, I'mma drive up on a Saturday or a Sunday and just, I miss my boys.

• 28:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:40Dr. John Delony?

  And to sit down with them and say, hey, like, and how old are you?

• 28:46Speaker 02

  I'm 57.

• 28:47Dr. John Delony?

  Okay, even if you said this, even if you said, I'm, I'm in the back half of the third quarter. I'm staring at the fourth quarter of my life.

• 29:01Dr. John Delony?

  I would love to know how I can love you guys best because I miss my boys.

• 29:07Dr. John Delony?

  Even if you just as the parent took all of it, how can I best love you guys?

• 29:11Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 29:13Dr. John Delony?

  And eventually it will come up. Hey, here's some ways you can love me. No more stupid massages. I don't want some creepy person's hands all over my body. Ew, right?

• 29:25Dr. John Delony?

  But there's a way that, um, listen, so in, in, in, in therapy, there's, we call it the one up and the one down position. Okay? The one up position is typically, not always, but it's typically male and it's very much, my house, I get what I want, like, right? Very much that, just loud and aggressive. I'm gonna get my way.

• 29:45Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 29:46Dr. John Delony?

  There's also the one down position, which is typically, not always, but typically, has a very feminine energy to it, which is, oh, okay. Well, you guys just go, y'all go to dinner and I'll just, um, y'all know I don't like that place, but that's okay. I'll just eat the Dairy Queen napkins in the glove box. I'll be fine. Right?

• 30:07Dr. John Delony?

  And that's how you're, that's how you're entering into this. If you say, in a, like, just get, don't get under the boat and don't try to get on top, just get, sit in the seat on the boat and be like, hey, I'm your mom. I don't want some other creepers hands all over me. Ew. They will get that image in their mind and they'll laugh.

• 30:26Dr. John Delony?

  And then also say, I realize that y'all have so much going on and thinking about old moms present. It's just like, but it really makes a difference to me.

• 30:34Speaker 02

  Right.

• 30:35Dr. John Delony?

  And then when you do that, you're being what they call vulnerable because they might say, you got it, mom. And they might forget next year.

• 30:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:46Dr. John Delony?

  They might forget and that's scary to think.

• 30:50Dr. John Delony?

  And as a son, I forget.

• 30:56Dr. John Delony?

  I don't want to, but I do.

• 30:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:59Dr. John Delony?

  I do.

• 30:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:59Dr. John Delony?

  And I love my mom to death. I love my sister to death. I love my brother to death and I forget. Does it make it right? Does it make it good? It kind of bums me out that I'm that way.

• 31:11Dr. John Delony?

  But also I would love it if, she doesn't listen to the show, but if my mom was to say, hey, this is what I want and it matters to me that you.

• 31:21Dr. John Delony?

  Most moms go, it's fine. It's okay, even when it's not.

• 31:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, and I think I've been, I think that's kind of the, I think that's the position I have taken.

• 31:34Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah, let's be right in the middle of it. These are your boys.

• 31:38Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 31:39Dr. John Delony?

  And whether they want to believe it or not, they need their mom.

• 31:48Speaker 02

  I, I, I hope, I think you're right. I hope you're right.

• 31:52Dr. John Delony?

  Listen to me. I know I'm right.

• 31:56Dr. John Delony?

  I know I'm right. They may not, they may tell you, all right, mom, then, then here's the deal. Also, we don't want your vote when it comes to us ordering a margarita at dinner, or on our pants being too, who knows? And only you will know if that's how, you know, if that's how you are, but you're a good Alabama mom. You're supposed to comment on everything. That's just part of, that's just part of the deal.

• 32:22Speaker 02

  I, I don't think I do.

• 32:23Dr. John Delony?

  I know, I'm just messing with you. I'm messing with you.

• 32:26Speaker 02

  But, but I do think that I might have a bit of a martyr mentality.

• 32:33Dr. John Delony?

  Oh, my gosh, you just said it. I wasn't gonna go there, but you said it. I'm, hey, listen. If you lead with that. Oh, my gosh, that'd be amazing.

• 32:46Dr. John Delony?

  Boys, I'm such a drama queen, and I'm sorry, but I miss my boys and

• 32:52Dr. John Delony?

  I want to know, I'm, I'm getting on the back half.

• 32:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:56Dr. John Delony?

  And I realize I brought some other guy into the picture and made it weird, but it is what it is. I love him. He's my husband. But how can I love you guys in this back half?

• 33:03Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 33:04Dr. John Delony?

  I want to be around my grandkids. I want to see, I want to know your lives. And you can point, point at one of your sons and say, you dummy, you got, you broke up right before you married, like, call your mom.

• 33:14Speaker 02

  Right.

• 33:15Dr. John Delony?

  You're allowed to say that.

• 33:17Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 33:18Dr. John Delony?

  And he needs to be a grown up and say, mom, it's not good for me to do that because you go scorched earth. Or you ask a thousand questions, or like, let's have that honest conversation.

• 33:28Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 33:30Dr. John Delony?

  Because, man, you, you, gosh. If I could, if I could snap my fingers and wish anything for anybody, it's that parents and kids, especially adult kids, could just reimagine their relationships right now. I think people, I personally think people are drowning.

• 33:48Dr. John Delony?

  Because they're cut off from their family's origin for a thousand different reasons.

• 33:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:52Dr. John Delony?

  And sometimes rightfully so, but sometimes it's just like this. It's just this weird distance that happens and nobody knows how to get back. And so they send a massage because they think that would be nice for them. And you're like, I hate this and nobody knows how to say. And then just takes one person to get in a car and say, uh-uh, we're going to breakfast. You're my boys and I love you. We got half, I got half a life to go still.

• 34:15Speaker 02

  And I do it individually, not as a group.

• 34:17Dr. John Delony?

  I would.

• 34:18Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 34:19Dr. John Delony?

  Or you, I mean, you could do it as a group. You, you, it depends on how homogenous they are. Me and my brother and my sister are so different that that would be awkward.

• 34:26Speaker 02

  Right.

• 34:27Dr. John Delony?

  And one of us would just dominate the whole thing. But individually, but you know your boy, they may all be just awesome together, ride or dies, and that you could do it all at one time.

• 34:36Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 34:36Dr. John Delony?

  And that might keep you, if you did it all at once, that might keep you from, uh, from them, from their text thread about you on the, off to the side, right?

• 34:46Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 34:46Dr. John Delony?

  Which by the way, every sibling group has that. So just, it is what it is.

• 34:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:53Dr. John Delony?

  But just letting them know, I love you boys so much and I miss you.

• 34:56Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 34:58Dr. John Delony?

  And then just hold a tiny little space in the southeast corner of your heart for them to say, Mom, we're just too busy.

• 35:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:07Dr. John Delony?

  I don't think they will, but I would rather you know that and grieve that than every day keep ginning up that story that there's something wrong with you and you're unlovable. And what if I try this? What if I try this? I'd rather you just head right into the scariest conversation and have it.

• 35:21Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 35:23Dr. John Delony?

  And God almighty, if you can cure yourself of martyr syndrome, please write that book. It'll sell a billion copies.

• 35:30Dr. John Delony?

  Billion copies.

• 35:31Speaker 02

  Well, I haven't in 57 years, so it's not looking good.

• 35:34Dr. John Delony?

  All right, wait. Just day one. Day one.

• 35:38Dr. John Delony?

  Hey, you've made my whole day, Bonnie. Thank you so much for calling me. I'm really, really grateful for you. And by the way, if moms and dads across the country will reach out, and by the, by the way, about the by the way, if moms and dads across the country will reach out to their, their aging or adult kids and have this conversation and be willing to hear feedback without snapping or trying to cover it up or and just saying words, "I'm sorry," or "You're right," or "I did, there was more context to that, but here's the deal, you're right." If we could just say, "I'm sorry," and "I forgive you," and "Will you forgive me?" and "How can I love you?" My goodness, we're talking about a culture that has absolutely been revolutionized. When we come back, we talk to a man who wonders how to move on after getting fired from his job.

• 36:24Dr. John Delony?

  We talk a lot on this show about boundaries, emotional, relational, financial boundaries, but there's one boundary that almost nobody talks about: your digital life. Right now, your personal information, things like your phone number, your address, even where your kids go to school, sitting on countless gnarly websites that you've never heard of. You didn't give any of them permission to have your personal information, but it's out there. And let's be honest, that's not just annoying, that's violating. That constant exposure creates this anxiety that just hums in the background of your life. Something always feels off. It makes it impossible to trust anyone. And this is why I use DeleteMe. DeleteMe goes after the data brokers and the people finder sites that

• 37:06Dr. John Delony?

  collect and resell your information without your knowledge and without your permission. DeleteMe tracks down your information and removes it, and every few months, they send you a report showing you exactly what they did. Because taking control of your digital life is about boundaries, and boundaries provide peace. Go to joindelete.me/deloney and use code DELONY to get 20% off. That's joindelete.me/deloney to save 20% off your entire order.

• 37:38Dr. John Delony?

  All right, let's go to Omaha, somewhere, and talk to David. What's up, David?

• 37:46Speaker 03

  Hey, how are you doing?

• 37:47Dr. John Delony?

  What's up, man? I'm doing great. How about you?

• 37:50Speaker 03

  Uh, hanging in there.

• 37:52Dr. John Delony?

  What's up?

• 37:53Speaker 03

  Uh, well, one day I called in about a year ago. Um, I got let go for my job and, um, I still have, um, a lot of anxiety and fear after losing that. Never had that happen before. Feel like I was performing well and, um, everybody was surprised that I was getting let go where I was at. Um, it was total shock to me too, and so still don't know how to move on from that. And I tried to work through it, but it still hits me every other day.

• 38:21Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah.

• 38:22Speaker 03

  Every day.

• 38:23Dr. John Delony?

  Did you ever get a reason why?

• 38:26Speaker 03

  Um, they said it was a restructure, reorg, but, um, uh, it was, felt pretty personal. Um, a lot of other people, uh, my position or level got let go as well. Um.

• 38:42Dr. John Delony?

  So, so it wasn't personal? It wasn't personal? It was a whole band of?

• 38:46Speaker 03

  It felt, it felt like it was for me specifically, but I don't have proof on that.

• 38:51Dr. John Delony?

  Okay.

• 38:52Speaker 03

  And that's, uh, that's kind of something I'm trying to get over because it, I did not have a good relationship with that boss at the time. He was fairly new.

• 38:59Dr. John Delony?

  Okay, okay. Um, what have you done in the last year?

• 39:04Speaker 03

  Um, so I, uh, relocated, um, to, uh, or I'm looking, relocated to a different area. Um, trying to start, um, well, we paid off all of our debt, relocated, relocated to a new area and trying to get money saved to, um, buy a house and start our family. Um, which is, that's a good part, but it's just in my current job where I got a new job. I'm trying to work through that still because I see every little thing. Like if I do something wrong, I'm going to get fired.

• 39:34Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah. I think, I, here's the deal. I think, I think you're right to feel that. You're not crazy.

• 39:41Dr. John Delony?

  You're not crazy.

• 39:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:43Dr. John Delony?

  It's one of the reasons why I'm so adamant about people doing whatever they can, even drive crummy cars, even live in smaller houses, rent if you got. I'm so adamant about people not owing other people money.

• 39:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:57Dr. John Delony?

  Because getting fired has two things. One, the research says losing your job can is as psychologically devastating, can be as psychologically devastating as losing a loved one.

• 40:09Dr. John Delony?

  And so hear me say, you're not crazy, man. And you're supposed to be anxious about that. If you lost a good friend in a car wreck and you were in that car, you'd be nervous to get in cars and drive for a while. It's just part of it.

• 40:21Dr. John Delony?

  And so you're right to have your antenna up at your new job. You don't know anybody there. You're in a new area. You've just been, I mean, you're a year out from just getting the rug pulled out from under you. You're right to be nervous. Okay, you're not crazy.

• 40:36Dr. John Delony?

  I want to solve, I want to go at this or solve this, if you will, in a couple of ways. The first way is as y'all are working on it, I want to build in margins. So if and or when this happens again, it's annoying, it's not devastating.

• 40:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:53Dr. John Delony?

  And so having six months of your expenses in a checking account somewhere or a high-yield savings account, it just lets you walk a little bit more firm. This boss doesn't get to dictate your life because you, you can just say like, bye dude.

• 41:10Dr. John Delony?

  And then you only have to deal with the emotional part.

• 41:13Speaker 03

  Now that's going to be a big stress relief. I think by, I think September, I'm working with my wife, but August, September will have the six months.

• 41:20Dr. John Delony?

  Oh, jeez. I'm telling you right now, that's a major, most people don't understand what a game changer that is.

• 41:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:28Dr. John Delony?

  An absolute stone game changer. That's number one. Number two, is there an old employee there or somebody that could fill you in on some stories or et cetera? Because I do think there's something important about being reflective.

• 41:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, I, I talked to the old employees though. The guy who actually let me go and a lot of other people who've been there for a long time, he got walked out of the building about three months after I got walked out.

• 41:54Dr. John Delony?

  That's usually how that goes. Have you, have you ever, I guess you don't have any interest in going back?

• 42:02Speaker 03

  No, I relocated and I'm actually, there was a couple, I call them godwings that I got from that. I probably wasn't, I don't know if supposed to be there. I'm in a job that's actually a lot better now.

• 42:12Dr. John Delony?

  Oh, fantastic, fantastic.

• 42:14Speaker 03

  And so, just still trying to fit in there, but just relocated to, I think, a better area too. And so, it's a godwink, but it's just still an uneasy feeling because I'm not used to, I see that as a failure, not used to feeling like that.

• 42:28Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah, so if you had tried to run a big project and you were an architect and you built the building and it fell over,

• 42:37Dr. John Delony?

  and the engineers, everybody did exactly what they're supposed to do, but your design collapsed under its own weight, I would call that a failure. If you were a closer in game seven of the World Series and you, some guy hit a homerun off of you, then you failed in that mission here. It sounds like you were a part of a situation where somebody hired a bad leader and that leader just started mowing people down and so quickly thereafter, that leader got walked out of the building.

• 43:05Dr. John Delony?

  And so, I think the fear is less that I'm a failure and more, oh, this, what, the world is this shaky.

• 43:12Dr. John Delony?

  And most of us walk around thinking the world is way more certain than it actually is.

• 43:18Dr. John Delony?

  And so, it's reorienting to, oh, man, like, you can be working really good and producing for your company and you get the wrong leader and they'll just cut you. Even if that leader gets fired a few months later because the company's like, whoa, what are you doing? You're getting rid of all of our good people.

• 43:38Dr. John Delony?

  And so, there's something about distancing yourself from the character part of it. And I always want to be reflective. Is there something I can do differently next time? One of the most important conversations I ever had was I really wanted a job at the place that I was working and it was the, an executive role. And at the time, the president was a friend of mine and he said, "You're too volatile, Delony." Like you are a quick mind and you're a great leader over here and you take care of all these emergencies across campus. Like you're amazing at your job, but to come up to this next level, you're too volatile. And I really had to do some soul searching there. I was mad, I had my feelings hurt, and he was right. So I worked really hard to be

• 44:21Dr. John Delony?

  more still, less anxious all the time. So ask and see if there's anything to be reflective on. And then I guess the last thing I would tell you is, start keeping track of every time you get nervous. Okay? Okay. Yeah. And I want you to write it down. Okay. Okay. And here's why I'm doing this. You might feel nervous two or three times in a day, but at the end of the day, when you reflect on your day, it might feel like I was nervous all day. Yeah. And actually, it was just a few times when somebody said, hey, I need to talk to you real quick. And your heart was like, oh, this is it. I'm out, I'm out, I'm getting fired. I want you to write that down. Yeah. Okay.

• 45:05Dr. John Delony?

  906. And can I just be honest, honest, honest with you? I've never been fired from a job. I've seen the writing on the wall at one or two places, but I've never been fired. Okay? Yeah. To this day, when I get an email that says, hey, let's come meet, I need to see you at 4:30. Dude, my heart is off to the races. I've got an emergency fund, like I got a house that I don't have a mortgage on, like I've taken care of my long tails. And I still am like, oh no, here it is, here it is, here it is. Right? Yeah. And I go have the meeting, it's always something funny or silly, or even if it's serious. And then I go to the car and I exhale and say, thank you for trying to take care of me, body. I'm okay.

• 45:46Dr. John Delony?

  That's a good point. Because here's what I don't want you to do. When I, after a year of being anxious, over time, you start going to war with your body. I don't want to do that. Don't do that. Just exhale and say, dude, thank you for trying to take care of me. I'm good. I got six months of cash in the bank. We're in a new town. This is a good company. They're good people. And if you get nervous, go ask your boss. Tell your boss, hey, I got canned and that guy got fired. I might just check in with you. Is that cool?

• 46:21Speaker 03

  I can do that.

• 46:22Dr. John Delony?

  Do you have that kind of relationship with your supervisor?

• 46:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, I do. He is a lot better.

• 46:27Dr. John Delony?

  Dude, if you could do that and just be like, "Hey, I'm gonna check in every once in a while." "This is my drama queen real quick." I bet your boss would be like, "That's fantastic." "Like, I love that kind of relationship with one of my leaders." That make sense?

• 46:42Speaker 03

  That makes total sense, yeah.

• 46:43Dr. John Delony?

  And if you want to be a super gangster, write your boss, your ex-boss, the one that fired you, write him a letter. Don't mail it.

• 46:51Dr. John Delony?

  But write him a letter and tell him how mad you are and tell him how you altered his life, how he altered your life, I mean, and then tell him, "And by the way, it has all worked out better than any of us could have imagined." End the letter with, "You no longer get to live rent-free in my chest. Bye. I wish you well."

• 47:13Dr. John Delony?

  And there's something about that exercise of letting that anger and rage onto that paper, followed by, "I'm moving on and things are better than I could have imagined," and ending it with, "What am I gonna do now? You no longer get a vote in my life. You had your vote."

• 47:31Speaker 03

  Good, yeah.

• 47:32Dr. John Delony?

  That sound cool?

• 47:34Speaker 03

  That sounds good.

• 47:35Dr. John Delony?

  Alright, hear me-

• 47:35Speaker 03

  I tried to do that, have a funeral for my job and everything, and then I just, I couldn't let it go still.

• 47:40Dr. John Delony?

  There you go.

• 47:41Speaker 03

  And I think it's just, I don't want to have that cortisol pumping all the time.

• 47:43Dr. John Delony?

  That's right.

• 47:44Speaker 03

  I just want to get, I'll try, I'll work on this.

• 47:48Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah. And there can be silly things, like making sure you sleep, making sure you eat, making sure you're out moving around and going for walks and things like that. I mean, all that stuff's important. And sometimes that, when you get anxious, you might find yourself scrolling a lot more, staying up later, watching a movie, and then another movie, or playing video games, whatever your drug of choice is, having a drink, and then another drink. And so it's always good, brother, always good, to step all the way back and look at your life. Hang on the line, I'm gonna send you a copy of Building a Non-Anxious Life. It's my number one bestselling book. I'm gonna send it to you for free, and I want you to just use it as a roadmap. Having a funeral is awesome, but you also have to deal with the executioner. And writing that ex-boss a letter and just saying, "You're out."

• 48:32Dr. John Delony?

  Like, "You did your worst, you messed up the year of my life, we moved and whatever, and it has worked out incredibly well, and today is the last day you get to be in my life." And then just start writing down when you have those attacks, "Ah, feeling like it's skull coming to..." It's not. And then, "Hey boss, my last job was real janky, the leadership. And so I'm gonna come in and just touch base with you every once in a while because I'm a little bit paranoid." And hopefully your boss is a great person of integrity and he'll smile, or she'll smile and say, "Of course, anytime you check in, I want you to feel safe here because we're glad you're here." Thanks for the call, brother. Be right back.

• 49:09Dr. John Delony?

  All right, let's get cozy. You guys know that I love adventures and I love being out there causing mayhem, but I'm telling you, by the end of the day, I'm ready to shut it down. And when I do, I want my bed soft and cool and ridiculously comfortable, which is exactly what Cozy Earth delivers. Cozy Earth has amazing bamboo sheets that are made out of viscose from bamboo. They're super breathable, they regulate temperature, and they wick away heat and moisture. I sleep cooler with my Cozy Earth sheets. And it's not just me, my entire family's gotten hooked on these things too. And listen, we have this amazing cuddle blanket. It's so great. We all fight over it.

• 49:51Dr. John Delony?

  It's ultra soft, it's plush, and it's got some weight to it without being too heavy. It's like an anxiety blanket combined with a hug from your grandmother all at the same time. Cozy Earth can help you build a space that's a retreat for your family, just like they have for me and my family. So go to cozylearth.com/deloney and use code DELONY for 40% off your entire purchase. 40% off. And if you get a post-purchase survey, tell them you heard about Cozy Earth right here on the Dr. John Deloney Show. That's Cozy, C-O-Z-Y. CozyEarth.com/Deloney and use code DELONY to save 40% off. Because your bed should be more than just a place to sleep. It should be your happy place. Cozy Earth makes that possible.

• 50:36Dr. John Delony?

  All right, Kelly 2.0, something cool happened. What is it?

• 50:39Speaker 04

  Adrienne from Tampa, Florida. She wrote in and said, "My husband and I are big fans of your show and had the pleasure of meeting you last year when we visited Ramsey headquarters. Listening to your advice has truly helped us improve our communication. After 21 years of marriage, we're learning to be more open and honest about our needs and have started asking each other, 'How can I love you today?'" My husband recently mentioned wanting the Questions for Humans cards for couples, and it was a fun surprise to tell him that I had already bought them. Your show has been such a blessing to us, so thank you to you and the team.

• 51:13Dr. John Delony?

  That's awesome. I love hearing that when people listen to the show and they slowly implement some things into their life. It's fantastic. And good work to you, all in our gang, on the team. Not you along here, country boy. I'll even let you have a king here in two. Thanks to you guys, man, because y'all don't get to go on the road. I was on the road for the last like three or four weeks, just hammering it. Man, I tell you what, getting to see people in airports and gas stations, I mean, 1:00 AM, walking off, off, off, off Times Square in New York, and a couple stops me at 1:00 AM. I mean, what y'all's work, y'all are doing is making a huge difference out there. It's awesome. Pretty cool, man. And for everybody listening, thank y'all so, so much.

• 51:54Dr. John Delony?

  Don't forget to share and like and subscribe and thumbs up and, I don't know, just tell the AI overlords, "I like this show." I don't know how to work that. Tell your car, it'll probably sign up for you too. But hit those buttons, makes a huge difference. Love y'all, bye.