Comedian Bert Kreischer: My Constant Battle with My Inner Critic (Overcoming Anxiety, Chasing Approval & The Pressure to Be Funny)

Do you ever feel like you need to be funny to be liked? How do you handle pressure to always “perform” for others? In this candid, hilarious, and unexpectedly moving episode of On Purpose, Jay sits down with comedian, actor, and podcast superstar Bert Kreischer—famously known for his shirtless stand-up and his ability to keep audiences laughing nonstop. This conversation goes way beyond the jokes as Jay and Bert dive deep into the real stories behind the spotlight, revealing the layers of vulnerability, self-doubt, and emotional growth that make Bert more than just a party-loving comic. Bert shares what it was like growing up with a tough, old-school dad who believed in powering through pain and never showing weakness. That mentality helped shape Bert’s work ethic but also left him carrying emotional weight for years. In one of the most touching moments of the episode, Bert shares how a simple, unexpected conversation with his dad, while they were both high on edibles, changed everything, helping them finally see each other clearly and connect on a deeper level. With Jay’s thoughtful guidance, they unpack Bert’s real-life struggles with anxiety, chasing approval, and feeling like you’re never enough, things so many of us can relate to. Bert is refreshingly honest about his mental health, his parenting ups and downs, and what it's like trying to stay grounded while raising two sharp, hilarious daughters who aren’t afraid to call him out. In this interview, you'll learn: How to Stay Humble While Chasing Big Dreams How to Raise Kids Who Keep You Grounded How to Keep Showing Up Even When It's Hard How to Use Vulnerability as a Superpower How to Manage Anxiety Without Shame How to Turn Criticism into Growth How to Stay Grateful Through Every Stage of Success This episode is full of laughs, a few tear-jerking moments, and plenty of insight into what it really means to show up, be yourself, and keep going, even when it’s hard. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here. Join Jay for his first ever, On Purpose Live Tour! Tickets are on sale now. Hope to see you there! What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 02:45 The Wildest Plane Stories You’ve Ever Heard 04:25 Why a Marriage Built on Laughter Works 06:01 When Your Family Becomes Your Funniest Critics 07:16 Were You Always the Funny One? 09:08 How Bert Mastered the Art of Storytelling 14:35 Growing Up with a Tough-Love Dad 17:56 What It’s Like Seeing Your Parent Cry for the First Time 20:40 Realizing Your Parents Are Human Too 23:36 When Your Dad Realizes He Can Use Your Fame 24:35 What It’s Like to Share Your Success with Your Parents 29:05 The Lifelong Quest for a Parent’s Approval 35:08 How a 6-Figure Deal with Will Smith Changed Everything 37:20 The Moment You Know You Have to Chase Your Talent 42:50 Embracing the Power of Pressure 44:09 Is There a Pain You Can’t Laugh Through? 47:06 Letting Your Kids See You Cry 49:56 Why the Way You Tell a Joke Matters 51:43 How Your Kids Really See You 54:05 The Challenge of Uninterrupted Family Time 56:51 Just Show Up and Do the Work 01:01:33 Success Was Never a Straight Line 01:07:24 Don’t Let Greatness Become Familiar 01:11:12 Living with Anxiety When Life Doesn’t Slow Down 01:17:26 Building a Healthier Relationship with Alcohol 01:19:29 How Tracking Your Fitness Can Change You 01:22:00 Bert on Final Five Episode Resources: Bert Kreischer | Website Bert Kreischer | Instagram Bert Kreischer | X Bert Kreischer | YouTube Bert Kreischer | TikTok Bert Kreischer | Facebook See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

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• 1:29Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Mazda. Confidence isn't something Mazda finds, it's something they practice. That's the thinking behind every Mazda. With proactive safety features designed to help keep you more aware, more connected, and more engaged with the road ahead. It's why Mazda has been named Consumer Reports' safest new car brand and has won more 2026 IIHS Top Safety Pick plus awards than any other car brand as of July 2026. Visit www.iihs.org to learn more. A lot can happen when an accident doesn't. Visit MazdaUSA.com to learn more. Consumer Reports does not endorse products or services.

• 2:09Speaker 01

  My dad's mentality is if you don't get on stage, if you don't show up to work, all the stuff that could possibly make your life great just disappears. No matter what, you show up, get out there and grind.

• 2:21Speaker 02

  The number one health and wellness podcast.

• 2:24Speaker 03

  Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty. The one, the only Jay Shetty.

• 2:30Jay Shetty?

  Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose. I'm your host Jay Shetty. And today I'm sitting down with one of the most entertaining and unstoppable forces in comedy, Bert Kreischer. From being named Rolling Stone's number one partier in the nation, to becoming one of the highest grossing stand-up comics, Burt has built an incredible career as a comedian, actor, podcaster, and entrepreneur. With six Netflix specials to his name, Burt's latest special Lucky was number three in the top 10 most watched TV shows on Netflix. Burt continues to sell out arenas and is also the co-host of Two Bears One Cave, one of the top comedy podcasts worldwide.

• 3:12Jay Shetty?

  Burt's energy, storytelling, and ability to connect with audiences is unmatched, and I can't wait for you to hear it. Welcome to On Purpose, Bert Kreischer. Burt, you know what's funny?

• 3:22Speaker 01

  What?

• 3:23Jay Shetty?

  I still remember the flight we were on together. And we sat down next to each other. And I'm gonna sound like such a douche for saying this, but I have to say, you were the nicest person in the world. And you were so kind and you were like, I can't remember how you started the conversation, maybe you can, but you were like, I really like your stuff.

• 3:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:42Jay Shetty?

  I love what you're doing. And I was the idiot who's living under a rock.

• 3:46Speaker 01

  No.

• 3:47Jay Shetty?

  It was like, I think I know what you do. It's really cool, but I don't know. And then I came back and I told my team, I was like, I was sitting next to Bert Kreischer. You know, we're texting, he's such a nice guy, he was so wonderful. And they were like, you met Bert Kreischer? They're like, he's amazing, he's funny. And I was like, I'm the idiot who doesn't know. And it was just one of those moments where like, you were so kind, you were so endearing, you were so sweet. And I was really touched by that interaction. I never in a million years thought the number one partier in the world and me would have something in common, so.

• 4:17Speaker 01

  You've got a weird thing that like, usually only like Reese Witherspoon or Jennifer Aniston get, where you're strikingly attractive. So when I sat down next to you, I was like, whose eyes are these? And then I was like, wait, I know him. I was like, oh shit, oh shit, this is Jay Shetty. I've listened to so many of your interviews. Views. You're so good. You're so good. And so, uh, yeah, I was so excited. And then I get told by like my, I'm friends with a professional wrestler, Cody Rhodes. And he said, you know, when I met you, I've never seen more of a pro wrestler personality. Like you, you explain yourself within a sentence and then explain why you should like me. And I'm like, but it's, uh, yeah, I, I, I'm a talker on a plane.

• 5:00Jay Shetty?

  And you were so funny already. And I was like, oh, this guy's hilarious. Cause you were like, you know what? Like you, you, you're good, but I'm a pretty big deal too. You know?

• 5:08Speaker 01

  That doesn't sound like me.

• 5:10Jay Shetty?

  But it was, it was endearing. Like I want to put it out there. Like I'm not trying to overcompensate, but it wasn't arrogance. It was like, I was laughing with you. And it was just so, you just broke the ice. And I was like, this guy's amazing. I wish I'd texted and DM.

• 5:23Speaker 01

  I'm such a fan of yours. I really am.

• 5:25Jay Shetty?

  Well, now I am too. So that's why I wanted you on the show.

• 5:28Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 5:28Jay Shetty?

  When this opportunity came up, I was like, Bert's the best. And then I got to what's the special too. And, and I was just like, I really wanted to get inside your mind. I was like, I really want to know. You know, the person behind the amazing success that you've had and, and, and the wonderful, endearing person you sit next to on the plane. I was going to ask you, you've probably had some crazy plane stories. I want to know what's, what's the craziest plane story you've ever had? Seeing as that's where we met.

• 5:52Speaker 01

  I got a, I got a good one.

• 5:53Jay Shetty?

  All right.

• 5:53Speaker 01

  Uh, I'm gonna say real names too. I sat next to a woman, first class, when I was just married with kids. Like I had Isla and George, but they were still really young. And the woman was coming back from Tibet and she was like, had the beads on and henna all over, hot, attractive, probably a little older than me. Maybe I'd say 43. I was 30, maybe six at the time. And we started having drinks and we're talking and then she says, uh, where do you do them when you land in LA? I said, I'm going home. She goes, don't come to my place. Let's have sex. I said, what? She goes, uh, I've been, I'm out of divorce. That's why I went over to Tibet. I'm a little lost, but I'm just looking to get. And I went. Okay, I said, listen, I'm married and so that you got the wrong guy.

• 6:37Speaker 01

  I go, but I got the right guy for you. She said, really? And I said, trust me. Can you just trust me? So we land and I call Mike Young, he's a real name. I go, Mike, you want to sex tonight? And he was like, with you? I go, no, I got a beautiful woman, 43 years old. And he goes, yeah, give her my number. She gives her my number. They meet at the Comedy Store. They go back to her place. They have sex. They've never talked again. And I was like, boom, man, slam dunk. I got great ones. I sat next to Ric Flair one time and we both drank identically. We both ordered drinks for our wives and ourselves and then drank our wives drinks and then drank our drinks. And I was like, whoa, Ric Flair and I drink alike. I had a girl walk me to my room in Soho the other night. She was like, hey, I'm gonna come to your room. I was like, and I got her to the door and I said, listen, I was really drunk.

• 7:21Speaker 01

  I go, listen, it's very sweet of you, but I'm, I'm married and I'm happily married and I don't cheat on my wife. And she had this weird look on her face and I woke up the next morning. I called my wife, I told her, I go, I just, I'm such a great guy. And then there was a note under my door and it was like, Bert, I wasn't trying to have sex with you. You were too drunk. You couldn't remember what room you were in and you didn't have a key. I just wanted to make sure you got home safe. I was like, oh, I shot down a good Samaritan.

• 7:47Jay Shetty?

  How did your wife react to stories like that when you're like calling her up?

• 7:50Speaker 01

  I've been doing that our whole marriage. Our, my, our marriage is based on fun and laughter. I mean, for real, it is probably the funnest. It's by far, it's the funnest relationship I have in my life. We joke nonstop. We're in couples therapy right now. And as we walk out, I decide who won or who lost. Like it's just a blast. And I've been doing that ever since, ever since, uh, we were a young married couple. I'd text her, I go, just do you know, I'm getting jocked. And then I sent a picture and Leanne's like, she's got a lazy eye. And I'm like, oh, man. Yeah.

• 8:20Jay Shetty?

  And she gives it back to you too?

• 8:21Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Her and my daughters are just bullies, like bullies. Like they've never, they they called, they call me Baby Walrus. They they've never, they bust my balls harder than anyone I've ever met. Other than my two sisters.

• 8:38Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 8:38Speaker 01

  The women in my life run my life.

• 8:40Jay Shetty?

  Isn't that the best? Like, my wife, we just did this video and it was planned by my team. But we did this video where my wife rated my looks on the red carpet for the last seven years or however long it's been.

• 8:50Speaker 01

  That's great.

• 8:51Jay Shetty?

  And, oh dude, I've got some embarrassing red carpet looks. And my wife does not hold back in this video. She just goes for it and she's got so much banter and she's got so much sass. And it's like all the comments are like, she's a savage. I'm like, yeah, you think she looks cute and all this stuff. But this woman can like go in and it's, and and I can, I mean, I can, I can attest to the fact that those are terrible looks.

• 9:13Speaker 01

  So Baby Walrus started, or chat thread Baby Walrus. And it was pictures where they thought I was cute. And it's like the worst pictures ever. And it's like one of them is me on a surfboard covered in a, in like, in sunscreen. And I just am sitting crisscross applesauce on a, on a surfboard. And I look fat and I got a hoodie on. It's so bad. But it's them sending pictures where they think I look cute, but I look like an idiot. Yeah.

• 9:40Jay Shetty?

  And so are they playing you or they think you look cute?

• 9:42Speaker 01

  I mean, the picture of Baby Walrus is horrible.

• 9:44Jay Shetty?

  Let's see, we're gonna have to get this for the edit as well as everyone on YouTube.

• 9:46Speaker 01

  It's the one of me on the surfboard.

• 9:48Jay Shetty?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I see.

• 9:49Speaker 01

  And they're all just pictures of me looking horrible.

• 9:52Jay Shetty?

  Oh, God, the worst. We'll get back to the family in a second, but I, I wanted to, were you, were you always the class clown? Was this always natural for you? Were you the guy who could make everyone laugh and get attention? Was that who you were?

• 10:04Speaker 01

  No, I was like, I, dare I say, like painfully serious. Like, I, I mean, I always was funny, but I, I didn't know, I thought what I was doing was cool. And when from the outside looking in, it was and it was funny. So I didn't realize that I was being funny. I, I think a lot of comics have this, like, uh, I told, just told the story in therapy the other day. When I was in first grade, I played second base. I'm really into baseball. I was really into baseball growing up. Played second base. Fly ball to me. Bases loaded. Fly ball to me. I catch it. And then I spike it and I take my shirt off and I start dancing. Now, my dad was livid. He was like, what is wrong with you? And but everyone laughed and I thought what I was

• 10:48Speaker 01

  doing was cool. And that people were like, yeah, but they just see this six year old, seven year old, dancing shirtless in second base. And so my whole life, I think I was always trying to be serious. I got I dressed up as Kiss for the talent show. I'm dead serious. Like, you're gonna watch me like, kill it out here. And I remember being in the thing. I had a guitar. Car didn't have strings. I was gonna air guitar. And the kid looks at me and he goes, the kid next to me had a violin. And he goes, you play the guitar? And I said, no. He goes, what are you gonna do? I said, just rock out. He's like, you're just gonna go up there and dance? And I was like, and when he said it, I was like, this sounds silly. Yeah. And then I just went out and just air guitar and danced in my mom's tights, no shirt, her belt around

• 11:31Speaker 01

  my chest, white face paint that me and Brian Callahan put on. So yeah, I think and I think I was that way all the way through high school. I don't think I was very funny in high school, although I was I learned how to tell a story in high school. It wasn't until I gave up sports in college that people started saying I was funny.

• 11:49Jay Shetty?

  What made you learn how to tell a story in high school?

• 11:51Speaker 01

  Going to an all boys Catholic high school. It was the best. It was the best, man. I'm saying the best. Your currency was could you hold a table? Wasn't chicks? Wasn't did you look good? Could you hold a table? And so for lunch, you have a table, your boys, 12. And I would practice my story coming from religion to the table. I'd be like, all right, so we did a B run, right? And I'm driving, Cayman comes in, he dives in, a dog grabs his leg. I take off, that's and I'm practicing the story. And then I get there and they'd be like, hey,

• 12:26Speaker 01

  tell us about the fight. And I'd be like, okay, got a pivot. Here we go. And I remember the first time I said a line that like, worked well, I said, dude, he got knocked out. I mean, this punch started in Miami and ended in Washington State. And and they were like, oh, like, it was just, it was like storytelling was our thing.

• 12:47Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 12:47Speaker 01

  And if you could tell a good story, like beach week, you came up to the room. Everyone wanted to know if you hooked up with that chick and you had to have a story about it.

• 12:54Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 12:54Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. I remember one guy came up, older kid, and he was like, yeah, I didn't have a condom, so I used a plastic bag. And we're like, what? Like, just wild stories.

• 13:03Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 13:03Speaker 01

  And then when I got to Florida State, uh, that's when I started realizing I was funny.

• 13:08Jay Shetty?

  I went to an all-boys school too, but what I realized was that a lot of the guys had imaginary girlfriends. So a lot of the stories were just made up.

• 13:15Speaker 01

  Oh, Jesus.

• 13:16Jay Shetty?

  And when you'd figure out that Felicity wasn't real.

• 13:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:19Jay Shetty?

  Because that was an American girl's name off a TV show and not a girl's name in England. Like, you'd never, there's no one I've ever met in England called Felicity.

• 13:26Speaker 01

  No.

• 13:26Jay Shetty?

  And then one of our guys was dating a girl called Felicity. We're like, he's been watching too much American Pie. Like, that's like.

• 13:31Speaker 01

  Dude.

• 13:31Jay Shetty?

  The feeling we'd get.

• 13:32Speaker 01

  Girls were a perfect example. I was so painfully serious about losing my virginity. I mean, I was dialed in. It was all my only focus. And then when I did, it was such a tragedy. That that story became, I remember sitting down and they're like, bro, tell the story. And all of a sudden, there's like three deep. And the story, I'm, I've told it on, this may not be the right setting for it, but I'll just say it was fast and I did it wrong. And, I mean, and there were like dudes standing three people deep to hear this story. And then, you know, we had two lunches. So the next people coming, Ty Rodriguez is like, tell it again. And I mean, everything was like a tragedy, like a comedy of tragedies for me.

• 14:17Jay Shetty?

  And you've never reconnected back with this person?

• 14:19Speaker 01

  The woman?

• 14:19Jay Shetty?

  The woman, yeah.

• 14:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:20Jay Shetty?

  You know her?

• 14:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know her very well.

• 14:22Jay Shetty?

  No way.

• 14:22Speaker 01

  That's Tampa, though. I know her. I know her brother. Her dad just recently passed. Her dad was a legend. Her dad was a legend. I gotta say this, and you, you know, she cheated on me at prom with my best friend. And, and we had to go spend the night at her house. Now, I'm like, uh, I'm a really sensitive guy. And I was so humiliated that instead of going back into the house where they dropped us off, I went out into her car and I said, I'm just gonna sit in her car. This is, I didn't have a car to get home. I didn't have any way to get home. So I sat in her car. I said, you know what? Screw it. I'm gonna, I'm, I'm gonna sleep out in this car. And I laid in the backseat of her car.

• 14:58Speaker 01

  And her dad just comes out and knocks on the window. He's like, you know, boxers or whatever. And he's like, buddy, this isn't how it's done. I was like, what? And he goes, I know you're hurting right now. Come in the house. Trust me, I'll make it comfortable. I said, I, I look, they know I've been out here. And he goes, oh, we all know you've been out here. He goes, just walk in the house and sleep inside tonight. I'm gonna give you five minutes. So we went in and waited five minutes and I walked in the house and very slick. Her dad was like, was like, Bert, what can I get you to drink? Would you like a beer? And I'm, you know, it's 17 and I was like, oh, I would love a beer. And he's like, great. Come on, we'll go sit outside and just made it very smooth. But yeah, I still know her.

• 15:37Jay Shetty?

  Wow. That's epic. Yeah, that's epic. I remember breaking up with a girl and I was just upset that her father used to have Manchester United season tickets. He used to always take me along. And I remember when I broke up with her, it was like harder breaking up with her dad than it was with her. Cause we were like having this bromance moment of like, supporting the same team. And it's just, when I think back to times like that, think about how like, those moments felt so big then. And now when you look back, you laugh at them, right? Like it's, at that moment, that humiliation, was that like the biggest humiliation you'd had at that point in your life?

• 16:08Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And, and I've had bigger. I've had bigger. But yeah, that was like, that was tough. Cause I, I thought I was cool, you know? And I think that's a little bit where my comedy is. I always come out the fool a little bit, you know? I'm always getting myself into something bigger than me. And I always think I'm doing the cool thing or the smart thing. And I, I always screw it up.

• 16:29Jay Shetty?

  I read that your dad was an interesting figure for you growing up. And he had like a certain take on life of like, men don't cry. Boys don't cry. They don't show emotions. Yeah. Is that true? What was that? What, what's that like? Cause I think we hear about it now and it sounds like, almost like a character because of where society's kind of moved into now. It's like, but that was very real.

• 16:50Speaker 01

  Oh, very real. Uh, my dad, my dad's a great dad. I love my dad. But he just was like, hey, you don't cry. I was 11 years old. I was playing catcher and I got hit in the mouth of the baseball bat and I lost like 20 16th. And my dad came over and he's like, okay, don't worry. It was my birthday, by the way. And I was like, he's like, don't worry, you're okay. Mom's gonna take you to the dentist. I need you to go to a shortstop. I was like, what? He goes, you're not dying. And if I sub you out of the game, we forfeit the game. So finish out the inning at shortstop. And I remember being like, What? I've been injured. And he goes, yeah, go finish shortstop. And they hit a ground ball to me at shortstop. I caught it through at the first. My dad goes, I'm really proud of you. Go to the dentist. But my dad just, he just didn't, it was not.

• 17:34Speaker 01

  He didn't hit us, you know? But like, he just was like, I remember his, when I got into comedy, he told me really clearly, buddy, eat shit, cash checks. That's how the world works. Eat shit, cash checks. His dad was in World War Two. He stormed like Omaha Beach or, or Normandy. And his dad never talked about the war, sat in the garage, watched Mets games, listened to Met games and drank beer. And so my, and my dad lost his dad at 13. So I think my dad was just doing the best he could. But yeah, he told me, I mean, I mean, I remember, I remember it like an older, I remember getting anxiety attacks. This is how flat my dad was. One day I'm laying in bed, it's like after, after David Letterman,

• 18:19Speaker 01

  and I'm laying in bed. I had to be 10 years old. And all of a sudden I have this very crisp realization that death is real. And I went, hold on. I go, one day, you're gonna tell me my dad's gonna die? And I went, oh my God, I started having a real panic attack. And I went into his room and I woke him up. My dad doesn't wake easily. He's like, if you wake my dad, he's like, what the, you know? And so it scared me. I woke him up and I was like, dad, are you gonna die? And he goes, what? I said, are you gonna die? And he goes, yeah, you are too. Go back to bed. And then I went, wait, I'm gonna die? I didn't think I could, I knew you would die, but not me? And that was my dad. I, I, I had kids with panic disorder.

• 19:04Speaker 01

  And I was so not my dad with them. I was so like, yo, I got you. You're gonna be fine. Like, but yeah, my dad just, he was just trying to do the best he could. Stuck into a house that he couldn't really afford to make an ends meet. He's got three kids, didn't expect the third one. He's a lawyer. I don't think he ever wanted to be a lawyer. I mean, I'd say that, I don't know what he'd say, but I wouldn't say he like loves his job, but it's his job and he does it. But that was his, do not cry, do not cry. And if, and when I got older and we got into a something and he saw me like well up, he'd be like, oh, you better not cry. And I'd be like, yeah, cry. And I might explain why I cry so much as adult now.

• 19:51Speaker 01

  So you just hold it back? I tried my whole life. And then I remember the first time seeing him cry. It was when I graduated Florida State and they didn't let me graduate. Two teachers failed me because I was written up in Rolling Stone magazine and they were, they thought I embarrassed the school. So they failed me and I had to drive up to Tallahassee. And they told me, the administration said, just go talk to the teachers. And I went to drive up to Tallahassee and my dad walked me out to the car. It was like six in the morning. And I was getting in the car to drive to Tallahassee and he started crying and I'd never seen him cry. And I was like, what is this? And he was just, and he's like, it's when someone with your kid. Like I was like, I got, I drove in silence, no music, just in the dark. Just what did I just witness? Did you ever talk to him about that? No.

• 20:36Speaker 01

  Still till this day? No. My dad's an interesting guy. He's, he's changed a lot the older he's gotten. He's way more sensitive than he was when I was a kid. Joey Diaz gave him marijuana one time on accident. He gave him like a handful of marijuana popcorn. It was the first time my dad had ever had marijuana. Easter morning, kids are searching for eggs. My daddy's a handful of popcorn. I go, buddy, that's weed. And he goes, what? It's popcorn. I go, no, there's weed in the popcorn. He goes, how do they put weed in the popcorn? I go, dad, it's called an edible and you just ate a lot of it. And so he goes, well, what do I do? And I grabbed a handful and I said, I'll go with you. We're going to both eat weed and we both ate weed. We did a podcast that day.

• 21:16Speaker 01

  And, uh, and then everyone leaves and it's me and my dad, high as crap, drinking whiskey at like five in the afternoon, smoking a cigar, really high. And I leaned over to him, I go, why don't you like me? Ooh, I'm gonna get emotional.

• 21:33Speaker 01

  And he just goes, he's like, I love you. You just make me uncomfortable. He was like, I, I love you and I'm afraid you're gonna die. And so I don't know what that does, but I'm afraid you're gonna die. I'm not gonna die. And he goes, you don't know that. He goes, I lost my dad when I was young. I'm terrified to lose you. And I don't understand you. I don't understand your lifestyle. And I said, well, how can we fix this? And he goes, I want to get you a cardiologist. And I said, okay. And he goes, you do that? I go, I want you to feel more comfortable with me. And he was like, I can get you a cardiologist. I can do all the tests. I can pick all the tests they do. And I said, yeah. And he goes, okay. He had a cardiologist Monday morning for me, Dr. Dan. And they did the CT scan. They did the stress test. They did all the tests my dad wanted.

• 22:17Speaker 01

  And everything came back clean. And my dad's like, you'll go to him every six months? And I said, yeah. And I want to say it from that day on, our relationship has gotten so much smoother. I mean, I've forgiven him for stuff that he's did. And we're just a lot, a lot closer now.

• 22:36Jay Shetty?

  It's incredible, isn't it? Like, our parents trying to hold us back from seeing their pain, but actually seeing their pain is the only thing that kind of penetrates and make you go, oh, wait, they're a human too.

• 22:45Speaker 01

  Oh. I found out my dad was human when I was 21 years old and I remember finding that out. And I didn't understand it. My parents split up and I was so mad at my dad. I didn't even want to talk to him. I did. I just, I was wanting nothing to do with him. And my Uncle Jerry called me and he goes, uh, when was the last time you talked to your dad? And I said, it's been a while. And he goes, well, that shit's over. He goes, you call him today. He's your dad. No, no, Jerry, I'm mad at him. And he goes, yeah, you just found out your dad's a human. Okay, your dad's a human. He's a regular man. He's not some superhero. So you call him. And look, you don't have to say I love you. Just call him, see how he's doing. And just touch base. I did. And that was a period, you know, that was a growing period at that. But, uh,

• 23:32Speaker 01

  yeah, he's a, he's a pretty, he's a pretty great dude. I'll just say this, you know, a lot of people will be at his funeral. That's like the testament for like a great man.

• 23:40Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's a big deal.

• 23:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, it'll be.

• 23:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:51Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. He obviously means so much to you.

• 23:53Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 23:58Speaker 01

  I think everyone's dad does, don't they? I mean, for all our differences, and we have a ton, um, a lot, a ton. If you met me and met him, you would not know we were related. He's pretty quiet, does not want to get on stage, and sincerely doesn't want you to get on stage. I mean, he just saw me do stand up for the first time.

• 24:16Jay Shetty?

  No.

• 24:17Speaker 01

  At the Emily, yeah.

• 24:18Jay Shetty?

  No, after all these years.

• 24:20Speaker 01

  All these years, I did the Emily, which is the arena in Tampa. And I said, yo, if you're gonna, you should come and see me here. I, I understand like comedy clubs, but you should come to the arena. It's a big deal, Dad. And he got there, and I don't think he realized what was happening, for real. Like, he knew I was doing a show there, but he called me and he goes, Wade Boggs is here. Wade Boggs is like our hero playing baseball growing up. I said, yeah, I know, I put him in your box. And he goes, no, buddy, he's here, do you think he knows you? And I said, Daddy's at my show. He goes, my, I just saw Mike Alstott, football player. I go, yeah. And he goes, do these people know you? I said, Dad, I'm the reason they're here. And then he came backstage and Derrick Brooks, who's a legend, played at Florida State, played at, at, at, at the Bucks, is backstage talking to my dad.

• 25:05Speaker 01

  My dad's staring at Derrick Brooks going.

• 25:09Speaker 01

  And he goes, and Derrick goes, can you believe how far Bird's come? He's doing the Emily and I, he goes, I was his first show with Potbellys. And Derrick Brooks leaves. My dad goes, buddy, Derrick Brooks knows who you are. I was like, yeah, I know, Dad. We just spent time with him. He knows who you are too now. But yeah, my dad just, he just, that was the first time he told me, saw me to stand up.

• 25:32Jay Shetty?

  What did he say?

• 25:33Speaker 01

  I gotta be honest with you, I think it makes him uncomfortable. Like, I think he kinda half looks and half, like, I, I don't think he, I don't think he laughs a lot at it. I don't know. I mean, he says, he goes, you're good. Like, but he, I make him uncomfortable. I had a great Shaq joke, that Shaq wanted me to put in the special. It's, dare I say, borderline racist, but Shaq and I talked, it made us laugh. And Shaq's like, you gotta put that in the special. And my dad's like, that does not go in the special. And I was like, Dad, Shaq says it's okay. And he goes, I don't give a shit. I, I am not comfortable with that joke. So I took it out. Shaq's like, you took it out because your dad?

• 26:09Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, what?

• 26:10Speaker 01

  But I got a better Shaq joke now.

• 26:11Jay Shetty?

  Okay.

• 26:11Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 26:12Jay Shetty?

  What's the bad Shaq joke?

• 26:13Speaker 01

  What?

• 26:16Speaker 01

  I can't do it. I don't think your audience wants to hear it. Go see me on the Permission to Party World Tour, starting in September.

• 26:24Jay Shetty?

  There we go.

• 26:25Speaker 01

  It's pretty aggressive.

• 26:26Jay Shetty?

  All right, that's fun. That's fun. People can look forward to seeing that. But whatever, you know, what I'm hearing about your relationship with your dad, I think it's so interesting where we just talked about that unlock of you figure out your parents are human and you also get context of their humanity. Like you were saying, his dad died when he was 13 years old and he saw that and then he was scared of losing you. Like, I remember my dad took me to his, the home he grew up in in India and his home was the size of this room, his home. So the kitchen's in a corner. There's, by the way, there's five kids that grew up in this house.

• 27:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:01Jay Shetty?

  There's a bed over here. We get there outside, there's bats, cockroaches and rats everywhere. Cause he grew up in like this slum-like area. Disgusting. I'm nine years old when I first go.

• 27:13Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 27:13Jay Shetty?

  And then they shared a toilet with like 20, 30 families. And I remember going there at nine years old and my whole perspective of my dad completely changed.

• 27:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:23Jay Shetty?

  Because all of a sudden I had like a reference point. Now, my life wasn't luxury in London by any means, but it wasn't that.

• 27:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:31Jay Shetty?

  And when you see like bats and rats and cockroaches at nine years old, which like freak you out. You think that's how your dad just walked to the toilet, walked back to his house. He was the youngest of five kids. And all of a sudden you just get like a completely different perspective on the man you're looking at. And it sounds like you had that moment as well. And, and I guess my question is, it sounds like it's not something you had to reconcile through a conversation. Like, it's not like you've sat there and therapized it out or, or fixed it, but there's a, there's a resolution that's almost happened between both of you where he can come and watch you on stage.

• 28:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:07Jay Shetty?

  Even when he, he hasn't for all these years. Like, would you say there's been healing? You said there's forgiveness from your side, like, what does that look like when there isn't a conversation? Because I think today we've got so much about, you've got to have the conversation.

• 28:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, no. You know, I think for my dad, a lot of it was, he always had the answer. You know, my dad's the kind of guy that, when I was a kid, the Iraq war started and I came home and I was like, I was against war because I knew that's what hippies were about and I wanted to be a hippie. And so I thought that's the right answer. I'm against war. And uh, my dad's like, no, you're an idiot. Why don't you go to your room until you realize what an idiot you are? And then when you come down, I'll explain to you why you're an idiot. So I went to my room and I was like, I don't know why I'm an idiot. Like, what did I, and everyone should be against war. My dad came downstairs, I go, I don't know why I'm an idiot. And he goes, okay, there's a lot of interesting things about this war. Number one is the first televised war we've ever seen. We're watching them go to war and it starts like a football game.

• 29:04Speaker 01

  And me and you have the opportunity to watch this. Number two, this man Saddam Hussein is a monster to his own people. And we are going in to get rid of him. You do not know any of the politics, so shut your mouth and sit down and watch the war. And my dad was like that with everything. If you ever said an idea, if I, to this day, if I say, uh, if I say something, anything political, my dad takes the opposite side and will tell me. So in a weird way, it never gave me a foot to stand on politically. That's why I don't talk about politics on stage. Cause whatever I would say, my dad would tell me I was, I was wrong. He wanted to show me, I think he was protecting me from looking foolish or protecting me from being the guy at a party that was a know it all. And you know, my dad kind of flew under the radar always.

• 29:48Speaker 01

  And I think when I started getting successful, there was a part of my dad where he no longer had an answer for me. He no longer had the solution. He couldn't, he couldn't put me in the right direction. When they fly, they're older, I send them to a special entrance at the airport. It's a little expensive, but it's easier for them. And my dad had a broken hip and got knee problems. My mom's, my mom's a piece of work. My mom's like me, okay? And so, uh, and he gets really upset. He's like, buddy, I don't need this. I can't, you can't afford this. And I go, I definitely can afford it. And he's like, no, you don't know. So one day I had to send him like my bank statement and be like, I can afford to put you through there. And he was like, what the?

• 30:31Speaker 01

  You like he just, I, I think in that it's not like the, you know, the younger lion taking over the bigger lion, but like, like me, like me not letting him pay for meals, that makes him uncomfortable. Like that's who he's been. He's been the leader of our family and I'm not saying he's not still our leader. He is by every stretch of the means. He is. However, I think not having all the answers for me and not being able to tell me exactly what to do and be confident in his decision made him very uncomfortable. I think, I don't know.

• 31:01Jay Shetty?

  But you never, it didn't seem like you were searching for his approval at any point.

• 31:04Speaker 01

  Oh, I was, oh my God. That's all I've been doing my whole life, my whole life. He didn't like my long hair. Got a flat top, came into his office and he was like, you look like an idiot. And I was like, God dang it. Like all I've ever wanted is that man's approval. That's it. That's it. Entirely without a doubt. I just like when he says, and he says very often how proud he is of me, it doesn't, it doesn't miss me. I hits me in the chest and it makes me feel great. And the fact that he'll call up and it'll be like, buddy, we went to the macaroni grill. You know, I, I say my, I say my last name and they go, are you related to Bert Kreischer? They knew you were buddy. I got a table right away. They gave me, they, you know, they do the bacon there.

• 31:44Speaker 01

  You know, the big bacon. My dad's like that. He, uh, he loves it and I, he, and I think he kind of loves my, whatever celebrity I have, cause it trickles to him. And now like when he goes to like, when he goes to like, he went to my special, him and my mom sat backstage. I didn't go in the, they sat on chairs on side stage. And he's deaf and like not deaf, but he's losing his hearing. So I'm doing the show and I hear him say, what did he say? I'm like, Jesus dad. She said, he said he saw her suck his dick. What? She lost weight, Albert. She, he saw her give her a, Leanne gave him a blowjob. And I'm like, you two shut up.

• 32:23Speaker 01

  But yeah, they, uh, yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm constantly seeking his approval. I, I think probably could be said for my career. I think the reason I'm into comedy is I'm searching for approval. I want people to like me. I do. I want people to have a good time and I want people to go, you were fun. I don't need to be the best comic, but I want people that see me to really have had a great time and like me.

• 32:45Jay Shetty?

  When was the first time you felt like you got his approval?

• 32:48Speaker 01

  Uh, Will Smith. Yeah, Will Smith. Well, I got a deal at like 26 years old. I've been doing stand up. On my 26th birthday, I was in New York and I was just partying. I wasn't doing stand up. I'd been there for a couple of months and I got hammered the night before and it was my birthday. And my phone rang at like eight o'clock in the morning, nine o'clock in the morning. And I saw it was my dad caller ID and I said, you know, I'll answer it. Let him say happy birthday and I'll go back to sleep. I answer it and he says, you are a tremendous piece of shit. And I'm like, I go, dad? And he goes, yeah, yeah, it's your dad. And he goes, you are worthless. You have no humility. You're doing nothing. He goes, I just perjured myself in court because of you.

• 33:30Speaker 01

  The judge said, Al, how's your son doing? And I said, great. That is a lie. You are not doing great. And you never will do great. I have failed you as a father. I gave you no humility. I taught you no life lessons. You never had to work for anything. Things came easy to you. And, and I'm telling you, and I said to him, I go, it's my birthday. And he goes, I know what day it is. He goes, I gave birth to you. We were there when you got born. And he goes, I'm telling you. And I was like, Dad, I go, well, okay. So what do I do with this? He goes, nothing. He goes, I'll foot the bill. Be a party boy. And I was like, well, I wanna, I wanna, I don't want you to feel this way about me. And he goes, no, you should not want to feel this way about yourself. And I said to him, what can I do? He said, well, if you're serious about comedy, then you'll go to that club tonight

• 34:13Speaker 01

  and you'll do whatever you can to get on stage. You'll go to that man and you'll say, my name is Bert Kreischer. I'd like to be a stand up. I'll clean up. I'll mop up. I'll flip burgers. I'll stand up. I'll do whatever you need, but I need an opportunity. I said, I remember saying to him, I go, I can't do it today, tonight, because I have a party planned. He was silent and he just goes, you have a, you have a party? He goes, you don't deserve a party. What are you throwing a party for? You're a failure. You go to that club tonight. You, you take yourself to dinner. I want you to write down some goals. And then you, after that dinner, you go to that club and you tell whoever you need to, you'll do whatever you can and you'll do it for free. And I said, Dad, that's not how it works. I remember him very clearly saying, hey, for some young black kid in Harlem, that's how it works for him. Do you know why? Because he has humility and he knows how to get what he wants. That's how it works for him.

• 34:58Speaker 01

  It doesn't work for you because you're white and you feel like everything should be given to you. And I went, okay. So I said, all right, I'll do it. So I didn't, I took myself to a restaurant on Seventh and Bleecker. And then I wrote down 26 goals that I had planned for that year. So I was turning 26. I went to the Boston Comedy Club. I met a guy named Louis Shaffer and I told him exactly what my dad said. My name's Burt, I want to do this. Any advice, anything you do, get me on stage. And Louis Shaver said, you should move back to Tampa. And I went, what? He goes, you're not going to be a comedian in New York. You don't have what it takes. And I went home, almost like victorious. I was like, so dad, this is how it works. I told you I was right. I called him the next morning. He goes, how did it go? I said, not good. This is exactly what he said. And he goes, perfect. This is what I want you to do. You go back tonight and you say the same sentence as if he damn never said it to you.

• 35:44Speaker 01

  And I said, okay. So I said, well, what do I do if he says the same thing? And he goes, you're going to do that every single night until there's a point where you're going to break him. And he's going to go, fine, I'll give you a job. So I went back that night and I went, hey, Louis, my name's Bert Kreischer. I want to be a standup comedian. I'm from Florida. He goes, didn't I tell you to move back to Florida? I go, listen, here's the deal. My dad called me a piece of shit yesterday. I feel like a piece of shit. I need an opportunity. I go, I'm going to be doing this every night for the next year as long as you keep saying this. And he went, fine. If you can bring in 20 people, I'll put you on at the end of the night.

• 36:16Jay Shetty?

  Nice.

• 36:17Speaker 01

  And I was like, for real? And he goes, yeah, you can go on after, right before Godfrey. And I was like, okay. And man, I brought in 25 people. Someone got heckled. Karen Burgreen got heckled by four Puerto Rican guys I brought in because one was going to jail the next day. And I was like, I said, and Louis Shaver comes out and he's like, where's a comic? And I was like, no one's here. And he's like, you're on, let's go. Put me on stage and frat boy Burt came out and I lit these four Puerto Rican guys up so hard. And because I knew that guy was going to jail and I, I mean, I was like, hey, man, have fun tomorrow. Don't drop the soap. The place is going nuts. And I was like, I was like, can I give you advice about jail? I was like, suck it before you. And I mean, they, it was so great. They walked out of the room. The place went nuts. And I was like, and I got a job. Louis Shaver's like, you can do this every night.

• 37:02Speaker 01

  Six months later, Will Smith discovered me. Will Smith discovered me and my dad was floored. He was floored. We watched The Fresh Prince on Monday night, every Monday night. It was a six-figure development deal. And I remember that was the first time my dad didn't have an answer. And I said, uh, I said, what do I do with this money? He goes, I, I don't know. I've never gotten a paycheck like that. He goes, buddy, I, I remember him stuttering like I, I can't tell you. I don't know. And he goes, let me hook you up with Bob Kazarian. I still remember the guy's name over at Merrill Lynch and we'll, we'll figure it out. And that was when my dad was like, he's like, you, you met Will Smith. Will Smith taught me how to pitch movies and pitch TV shows. And he was like a blessing in my life.

• 37:46Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's beautiful. I didn't realize we had Will in common either.

• 37:49Speaker 01

  Will's, I mean, I love Will.

• 37:51Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, one of my favorite people.

• 37:52Speaker 01

  He's, he's one of my.

• 37:53Jay Shetty?

  It's like family to me.

• 37:54Speaker 01

  He is, he is the sweetest guy in the world. He was so good to me. He gave me great advice. We're about to pitch ABC, Jamie Tarsus, God rest her soul. And I, I drove over from the valley with him and J, J, JL.

• 38:07Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, JL, yeah.

• 38:08Speaker 01

  And, uh.

• 38:09Jay Shetty?

  James Last.

• 38:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I, and I had to piss. And Will came in and he goes, I'll go to the bathroom with you. So he sat at the stall right next to me at ABC. And all, and any guy knows that the sound of a man's urine hitting a, a toilet sometimes indicates how big their, their, their dick is. And he had a fire hose. I mean, it was like, and I got, I couldn't pee. I started, I got, I got gun shy. And Will says to me, can I tell you everything you need to know about Hollywood? But I'm so in my head going pee, pee, pee. I didn't hear a word. I didn't hear one word. And then he goes, and then he stops peeing. I realized if I can't pee next to Will Smith, I can't sell a show next to Will Smith. I start peeing and all I hear him say is be yourself. That's it. That's the only thing I heard.

• 38:53Speaker 01

  And then I went into the room and, uh, Will was like, Bert used to party hard or something. I was like, yeah, you guys ever tried to knock yourself out? And they're like, huh? And we used to do that in college. And you had to do it on the side of a, like, put your head against something. Cause if you just hit your head, it's not gonna happen. And I knocked myself out and Will's just like, and we sold a sitcom that day.

• 39:13Jay Shetty?

  I love that.

• 39:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's the best.

• 39:15Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, he is the best. Dude, it's like, as I'm listening to you, I'm just like, there's, it's so interesting because I feel like that moment that you told me about baseball with, you know, you and your dad and your dad telling you like, on your birthday, just go play and then we'll sort it out later. What was the power of that? Like, what was the good thing about that? And then what was the hard thing about that? Like, there was good, obviously, that came from it. This work ethic, this ability to turn up, the ability to push through pain. But there must have been some pain that stayed, which searched for that approval. But what was the good and the bad? Because it sounds like you've been able to process both.

• 39:51Speaker 01

  You know, he had a mentality, eat shit and cash checks. And when I was at Travel Channel at the very tail end, I was just hoping to get renewed. And I knew they were changing presidents and I had lasted like three or four presidents. But every time you went through a new president, you were, and it was money. And I needed money, had a family. I was ignoring stand up, I was ignoring the podcast, all the stuff I do now. I was ignoring all of it. And I was at the beach with my dad, we're having a cigar and a glass of wine. And he goes, so what's the deal? What was our plan? I was, I think I was forty two years old, forty three years old, looking for my dad's approval. And this is so my dad. I go, you know, buddy, eat shit, cash checks. Thinking he go, that's my guy. And my dad started crying. And he goes, oh, I think I fucked you up.

• 40:33Speaker 01

  He goes, eat shit, cash checks means is for guys like me with no talent. Guys like you need to, you need to go after your talent.

• 40:39Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 40:40Speaker 01

  And he was, he was crying. And you know, Rogan had just said that to me too. He had just had that conversation with me. And my dad's like, if you don't go for it now, you're gonna regret it. He's like, do it. Cause I had this longstanding offer from Showtime, Gary Garfinkel, God rest his soul, to do a special and I kept pushing it to do Travel Channel stuff. And he goes, buddy, you should do it. You should, hey, follow your dreams. So I, I did the Showtime special. No one watched it because I took my shirt off. It's like, I remember them saying, yo, if you take your shirt off, you're giving the reason to change the channel. But what's fascinating is the thing that gets them to change the channel back in the day, where you were Caesar and you'd be like, no, no, is the exact opposite for the internet. You see a guy with no shirt on on the internet, you're like, what's this? And you click it.

• 41:24Speaker 01

  And I posted the machine story and it went viral. And it was, I remember my, but my dad gave me this like insane thing of, even if you're sick, you show up. Even if you're, even if you're hurt, you show up. I, I think it's my punitive way that I work out is that I'm, if I'm. Hung over, I work out extra hard. I was hung over. I flew all drank all day yesterday in New York, flew here last night. This morning I got up at eight, got in the sauna for thirty minutes, got in the gym. We did abs. Who the wants to do abs? Ran, lifted weights and sweated out, but that's my dad's mentality is like, you get up, you do your work, no matter what. That was the lesson. I mean, I, and my takeaway from being eleven and getting hurt,

• 42:08Speaker 01

  my dad going, you finish it and you don't let anyone down. You don't, you get, you finish the game. You know, I, I had a showcase for ICM one time. This is just my dad's mentality. And there was a guy that went, opened it. And then the next guy went on was a guy named Earthquake. Do you know Earthquake?

• 42:24Jay Shetty?

  No.

• 42:25Speaker 01

  Unfollowable. Black dude who destroys, destroys. His name's Earthquake. I mean, just, and he is earthquake because he leaves you the room in an earthquake. And I watched all my friends, I won't say their names, but all my, all my white friend comedians panicked. No one wanted to follow Earthquake. And they just came to me. They're like, you want to go up after Earthquake? And I just, my dad would be like, yeah, that's your job. Do your job. And I went up after Earthquake. And he had a joke. His last joke was about his name, Earthquake. I forget the joke, but I knew my first joke was about my name, Bert. So the joke was, was my name is Bert. I know what you're thinking, hot, sexy name. Do you do porn? No. I said, Bert's the last name you want to hear during sex.

• 43:09Speaker 01

  Just some chick on top of you in the dark going, uh, uh, uh, boo. And then I go, shh, call me Earthquake. And the place exploded. But you know, here's the thing, and this is my dad's, my dad's Brent mentality is, if you don't get on stage, if you don't show up to work, all the stuff that could possibly make your life great, just disappears. And that's been my mentality this whole career is you show up, no matter what, you show up. You got an audition, you show up. You get, they want to meet you, want a general meeting. You still don't think it's right for you? You show up. And I, that's definitely the way I've taken the road. Dude, let's do the road. Make sun, make, hey, while the sun shines, get out there and grind.

• 43:49Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah. And that's what it takes. I mean, I feel like comedy is like, there's a new comedian every month that's taken off. You've had like a longstanding career. It's hard to do that. Keep reinventing yourself. Keep coming back, special after special, success after success. It's hard to do that.

• 44:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:06Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Indeed. I know how important every hire is for a business. If you need to make the right hire, this is a job for sponsored jobs. Indeed sponsored jobs helps find quality candidates when you need them most. You can reach who you need based on whatever criteria you're looking for, like skills, certifications, or location. In fact, people are finding quality hires on Indeed right now. In the minute I've been talking to you, companies like yours made 27 hires on Indeed, according to Indeed data worldwide. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com/podcast.

• 44:49Jay Shetty?

  That's indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. This episode is brought to you by Amtrak. You know that feeling when you're already tired and you haven't even gotten there yet? That's where Amtrak comes in. Leave the driving behind and settle into a comfortable seat with plenty of room to stretch out. Catch up on work with wifi, grab a snack at the cafe car, or just sit back and enjoy your favorite podcast. Choose a seller or Northeast Regional and get there without the stress of getting there. Visit amtrak.com to plan your next trip. This episode is brought to you by Orange Theory Fitness. One of the best investments you can make is in your own strength.

• 45:34Jay Shetty?

  The choices you make today can help shape how you feel for years to come. Orange Theory Fitness provides a one hour workout to build strength, burn fat, and build muscle with an expert coach guiding you every step of the way. Head to orangetheory.com/onpurpose to learn more and get your first class free. Orange Theory Fitness, helping people live longer, more vibrant lives. Terms and conditions apply. See webpage and studio for details. Like it came from that.

• 46:01Speaker 01

  A hundred percent.

• 46:03Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 46:03Speaker 01

  I mean, a lot of my friends, like, just like the pandemic hit. And my my brain was like, that doesn't mean we can't do stand up. And then I know the the country shut down and I went, I'll figure it out. And I so I came up with a type of touring outdoor comedy festivals where I took drive a movie theaters and I plugged into their system. We showed it up on the big screen. We shot it with four cameras. All the feeds went into the car so everyone could stay socially distant. And I did, I think I did thirty cities. I think I maybe did thirty cities, sixty shows, sixty two shows. I did, I toured all through the pandemic. That's just the way my brain works is like, just because you say no, that doesn't mean, look, you gotta do it, you gotta work.

• 46:41Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 46:41Speaker 01

  Don't just take the foot off the gas.

• 46:43Jay Shetty?

  What I love about the earthquake story too, it's like what your dad said. If you didn't put yourself under that pressure, you wouldn't have found that great new take.

• 46:51Speaker 01

  If you're a dad right now and you're listening, this is the only takeaway you need. My dad, whether it's true or not, always told me, you love pressure. Buddy, when all the chips are on the table, you perform your best. I don't know what it is about you, but you love the pressure. You just love it. And I'll tell you my whole baseball career, if we were down, man on first and second, we're down by two runs, that's when I performed. When we faced the fastest pitcher we ever faced, that's the guy I hit the best off of. And I and I'll tell you is in stand up, I've always done best when the most pressure is on me. I need to do secret time for a show I bomb. I'm only doing two shows. I bomb, I bomb. I hadn't bombed with this hour ever and I bombed.

• 47:35Speaker 01

  The crowd had had to wait in the rain. We had a power shortage. It just, it was horrible. And I'm nervous, I got one more show. This is my first Netflix special. I got one more show and I'm sitting in the green room and Leanne just echoes my dad. She goes, well, you know, you love pressure. This is when he's going to perform the best. Sit back, everybody. And man, that show, I mean, best stand up show I've ever had in my entire career was that one show. It was, that was murderous.

• 48:01Jay Shetty?

  Wow. People say with comedians, obviously, there's such a defense mechanism with humor and comedy to mask pain and challenges and all that kind of stuff. I wonder, and you've said before as well, like, I usually, you know, laugh through pain. It's like, what what's a pain that you couldn't laugh through?

• 48:19Speaker 01

  I hesitate to even say this, but I've been very lucky. I've been very lucky. I haven't had a lot of tragedy in my life. And I can laugh at just about anything. I laughed at my grandmother's funeral. I laughed twice at my grandmother's funeral.

• 48:32Jay Shetty?

  Tell us.

• 48:34Speaker 01

  I started crying. My dad had a rule, like, don't cry in front of your kids. And I started crying. And this is before we put Priscilla down. I started crying. He goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, stand up. It's him and my uncle Jerry. And my dad goes, buddy, pull together. And I was like, I'm upset. And he goes, why? I go, because your mom is in a box up there? And he's like, yeah, she had a great life. You celebrate her life. You don't cry. Can't let your girl see you cry, then they're gonna be freaked out. I was like, Dad, it's just, it's just hard looking at her. And he goes, no, no, no, no, you're fine. I go, well, she, they have, she's not smiling. And he goes, are you an idiot? He goes, do you want her smiling in that box? Do you have any idea how creepy that is? And I started laughing. And then he goes, there you go. All right, you're out of it. Good, let's go.

• 49:18Speaker 01

  So then, at the end of that funeral, everyone leaves, my dad and my uncle Jerry. I mean, this makes, they go, hey, come on. I said, what? And they go, let's go, let's go say goodbye to grandma. And this was them saying, it's okay to cry. Oh, my God. I've never seen two uglier cries in my life. This, these men let go of years of trauma. I'll tell you, I'll tell you, right before she died, this is the hardest I've ever watched these two men laugh. We go to the hospital. My grandmother's in congenitive heart failure or whatever. So we go to the hospital. Grandma's in the bed. Uncle Jerry and my dad are in the corner and they're hiding their faces because they're crying. They're hiding their faces behind the curtains. Okay?

• 50:02Speaker 01

  And they're really emotional. And I, and I'm not, for whatever reason, I'm not in that moment. And I go, hey, Grandma, how you doing? And she goes, oh, my back hurts. That's, that's heart failures when your back hurts. And I go, do you want me to rub your back? And she goes, I would love that, birdie boy, rub my back. So I start rubbing her back. I go, I love you so much, Grandma. I go, I think you're gonna make it out of this. And then I go, wait, I think you might have dropped a tissue behind your bed because I can feel, I think there's tissue falling off. And she goes, that's my skin. And my dad and my uncle go from crying to laughing hysterically. And my dad's going, he's kicking, I'm going, he's rubbing skin off her back. He's rubbing skin off her back.

• 50:44Speaker 01

  And my uncle Jerry's just, and I'm watching these two curtains shake and I'm just rubbing skin off her back going, I love you, grandma.

• 50:54Speaker 01

  Yeah. I laughed, I can laugh through just about anything.

• 50:57Jay Shetty?

  Oh, God. That's, when, when was the first time you let your daughter see you cry?

• 51:02Speaker 01

  I, I start, okay, uh, I, I, I came home, I was on the treadmill. Lianan's in the room with the girls and this is, this is in Priscilla's third knee surgery. Priscilla had five knee surgeries. On her second knee surgery, they realized the other knee was bad too. They were gonna have to do another one. And the guy goes, listen, you're, you're 15 grand into this dog. I, I think it's just, I think we need to put her down. And I went, what? And he goes, I can't promise that these are gonna last, but like, I'm telling you, the one that we already fixed, that's bad again. We gotta do that again. So she's asleep, I can put her down right now if you'd like. And I went, well, hold on. And I went, oh my God, give me a, uh, can you give me a second? And he goes, yeah, yeah, give me like, go talk to your wife, but call me soon.

• 51:44Speaker 01

  So I start crying and I, and I'm, I'm trying to hold it together. And I walk in the room and the girls see me crying and they start laughing. And they go, oh, mom, dad's crying. And Lian goes, girls, if dad's crying, we're all about to be crying in a matter of seconds. He's like, this isn't funny. And I go, they wanna put Priscilla down and George Arnold, I'm like, what? And then pulled it together and we didn't put her down. We got two more, we got those two knee surgeries, then two more knee surgeries. And, uh, yeah, but they've seen me cry a lot now.

• 52:17Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 52:18Speaker 01

  Once I, once the floodgates open, dude, I cried at the Avengers movie when, when Spider-Man died. When Spider, I was sobbing, crying and Isla's mocking me. I cry at movies real quick.

• 52:29Jay Shetty?

  I do too.

• 52:29Speaker 01

  And they will, and they just, you just watch them. They don't even watch the movie, they just watch me and stare at me and giggle.

• 52:36Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 52:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:36Jay Shetty?

  Well, that's why I find you to be such an interesting, fascinating person. Cause like you've got this larger than life personality. You've got this party of background. And then like you've got like this soft heart.

• 52:48Speaker 01

  Oh, I'm like the biggest.

• 52:50Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah. And it's like, and even when I met you, I could just tell immediately. I was like, you know, this guy's got the softest heart. And at the same time, if I swore you, I wouldn't necessarily have that, you know, perception.

• 53:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think that's accurate. I don't think anyone, I think people will think I'm a one thing. And then when they find out like, the one that always shocks everyone is I've only had sex with six women. And they're like, what? And I was like, yeah, I'm just, I wasn't that guy. Like I, the time I lost my virginity, that changed my life. And that moment, I went from, okay, I'm not cool guy that could just bang chicks. I'm super sensitive guy that needs you to get me because I'm not sure I do this right. Like my wife, my wife takes those phone calls and she knows I'm never gonna cheat. She knows I am a wreck. I am a wreck. But yeah, and so everyone's like, really? You've only had sex with six? I go, yeah, because in college I'd go to a bar and I'm just hoping someone would get me. Like I wanted someone that wanted to watch Fletch three times in a night.

• 53:44Jay Shetty?

  How did, how does she get about, obviously all of the exposure of her life and her sex life as well? What's like allowed? What, what do you need permission for? What do you get away with without any?

• 53:55Speaker 01

  She says, as long as it's funny.

• 53:57Jay Shetty?

  Oh, wow, that's.

• 53:58Speaker 01

  She goes, as long as it's not mean and it's funny, I'm in. I remember the time I realized she was game for anything. She farted during oral sex.

• 54:07Speaker 01

  And I, and I made a joke and she started crying. And I said, what are you crying about? I'm the one in the fire hole. What do you, what do you, I'm gonna shit in my mouth. What are you, you're crying? And she said to me, you're definitely telling this on stage. And I wait, I said, what, can I? And she goes, well, yeah, obviously if I did this, someone else has done this. I'm not the only one that ever did it. And it's funny, you should talk about this on stage. And I did, and man, it was, it was like a killer bit for a while. But like, yeah, she, she watched this hour and her note was, I'm cool with everything you're saying. I need to know the way you're saying it has love in it. Like it has to have a smile in it. Because I was doing, I mean, you do material a lot, you get bored of it. And sometimes you don't show the sparkle in it the way you did when you wrote it.

• 54:51Speaker 01

  And with this material, I mean, making fun of a woman because she's getting older and she's going through menopause and she's aging. And if you don't say it with love or a smile, that was her exact word. There needs to be a smile and a little bit of rascal in your voice. Like you need to say, and so she was really adamant about that.

• 55:08Jay Shetty?

  I love that. She's like a comedy coach.

• 55:10Speaker 01

  Oh, she's, I mean, look, she's not funny. Let's be very clear. I take offense when she tells the people at the party, I'm the funny one at home. I go, hang on, my comedy bought the house. Let's be real. Okay. She's a, she's a gangster. She's awesome. And same with our girl. She's kind of monitors the material and, and runs, runs it by with them, with her. And talks to them about it and, you know, yeah.

• 55:35Jay Shetty?

  Do they think dad's really cool or dad's human?

• 55:37Speaker 01

  Oh, human. They don't think I'm cool at all. They do not.

• 55:40Jay Shetty?

  When did that, when did it go from cool to human? Or was it ever cool in the first place?

• 55:45Speaker 01

  It was ever cool. I don't think it's, it's, you know, I had a period of, of where Georgia, I could tell thought I was kind of cool.

• 55:51Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 55:52Speaker 01

  Like Georgia had this, like, we, we took her on Fully Loaded one year, her and her friend Daisy.

• 55:57Speaker 01

  I got this great picture. At the end of the night, I, I, we, I tell the machine. And then I'd bring all the comics on stage and I'd have them bring me a beer. And I'd kill a beer and I'd spit it in the air and it would, it was a fun moment, a way to close the show. And it was always a really cool picture. And one year I call all the comics out and then everyone starts walking off and I'm saying goodbye. And Georgia comes out. I got this great picture and she throws her arm in the air like she just did a stand. Like she's, like she didn't stand up. And I was like, what are you doing? And she goes, I just wanted to see what it felt like. But like, I think they think I'm okay. I don't think they think I'm cool. Like in all honesty, if I didn't ever go to their college ever again, they'd be very comfortable with that.

• 56:42Jay Shetty?

  Well, why do you turn up to their college? You mean to drop them?

• 56:44Speaker 01

  No, like Parents Weekend.

• 56:45Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 56:46Speaker 01

  Parents Weekend or, you know, we went and looked at colleges. I wanted Georgia to go to Boulder. And so we went to Boulder and this kid yells out the window, the machine. And then all of a sudden word got out on campus and kids started running and finding me. And I watched this kid, my child, lose interest in a school very quick. A great school, one of the best schools in the universe. I love that school. And she was like, yeah, I'm not going here. I was like, what? She goes, I'm not going to a place where you have fans. I was like, baby, I think that's going to be tough. And then she was like, I won't go to Florida State. I won't go to Florida. I'm not going here. I'm not going to Georgia. I'm going, I'm gonna find my place. And so I didn't go look at schools with her. And the next two schools she looked at, she loved. She got into both of them and she chose one.

• 57:31Speaker 01

  And same with Isla. Isla would, they hate when I get recognized. Last night we flew in and paparazzi was waiting for me at the airport. And Georgia was just like, like she walked in and like stood by a wall and was like, she was like, can we just, mom, can we make this stop? And I was like, I don't, I'm not rude. So I'm like, I'm gonna talk to them. If they want to talk to me, I'll say something to them. I'm not gonna be there forever. But yeah, they, I think they would be cool if I wasn't famous.

• 57:57Jay Shetty?

  How do you deal with that? Like with, when you're raising kids, you've been doing this for a long time. They've probably been exposed to it since they were kids. Like how, how have you had that conversation with them? Because obviously it's still not easy for them.

• 58:10Speaker 01

  We had a moment, uh, we were, we were skiing. It was a very luxurious thing to do. It's not lost on my kids. Cause we didn't always have money, but we were going skiing and Georgia was having a rough time. Just, there was something going on with Georgia. By the way, we didn't know this, but we all had COVID at the time.

• 58:29Speaker 01

  So Georgia's having a rough time and she has a meltdown and she's, you know, you know, what a junior in college, high school at the time, she's having a meltdown. And I'm talking to her in front of where we're staying, right by the lifts. And we're both in our ski outfits. I'm holding my snowboard. She's got her snowboard and she's crying. And I'm trying to talk to her and help her out with this thing she's going through. And these two dudes are like, oh shit, the machine. And I just look at her eyes and she's like,

• 58:59Speaker 01

  and I was like, what's up guys? And they're like, can we get a picture? I go, I'm kind of doing a thing. They're like, real quick, real quick. And I'm like, it's easier just to take the picture than to, and so I take the picture. She goes, I understand that this allows us to do this. She goes, it would be nice just to have my dad sometimes. And and I was like, I know, and it's sharing your your time with with fans is what is difficult for them. And I'm not a good guy at like saying no. Like, I don't, I've seen my friends do that before, and it always rubs me wrong. I'm like, just take a picture with it.

• 59:32Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, I feel the same way. Yeah, it's like a, it's almost like this is the reason why you get to do what you love every day. The least you can do is.

• 59:40Speaker 01

  Least you can do is take a second and listen to someone.

• 59:42Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and I'm assuming with you as well, people have great stories. Like, that's how I feel like I get to talk to people who just have amazing stories to share and life changing moments. And I'm like, I feel like if I didn't sit there and listen to that, it almost gives me fuel to keep going and, you know, keep moving because, yeah, I hear amazing things. I'm sure you do, too.

• 59:59Speaker 01

  Oh, I mean, you know, you forget, you know, a little bit of what we do is talk, we talk, you know, there's someone right now that probably has a weird relationship with their dad and is hearing this and there's going, you know, there's things that we hope it's funny, too, but, you know, like doing the biggest one I always got was you got me through the pandemic. Because, you know, we put out content for them to distract themselves with. A lot of people didn't have big houses to stay in during the pandemic. They were in an apartment and they're just like, this is miserable. And I get that a lot. I get, you know, right now, the one I'm getting is, you know, you know, we just put our dog down. You, I've never, I've never laughed and sobbed at the same time. Thank you for letting us process. And but, you know, the least I can do is take a second and talk to someone who wants to say hi to me.

• 1:00:42Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah. And it's like, I mean, that, that's something that you do quite uniquely, I feel. Like, the ability to make someone laugh and cry, even like, as we've been talking today, I'm like, I'm like, having like a really emotional moment with you. And then you're like, making me crack up at the other end with like grandma's funeral, like being at the hospital, like. And and and there's a, there's a real beauty in that. Like, have you ever sat and thought about, like, was this the first time in this special that you got extra emotional and got people to cry? Was this like one of the first times or?

• 1:01:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, I've never done this before. I mean, I'm, I don't, I don't mean this like cocky, but I don't think, I don't think there's a lot of comics.

• 1:01:19Jay Shetty?

  That's what I'm saying, yeah.

• 1:01:19Speaker 01

  That are, that are doing that. And I, and I'm, and I didn't know if I should do it.

• 1:01:23Jay Shetty?

  What made you do it? Like, why did you go there?

• 1:01:25Speaker 01

  It was ready. I did that story before Razzle Dazzle. I was gonna do it at the end of Razzle Dazzle, and I just thought, I don't know. It just, it felt weird to me for that material. That material, it felt weird. And I, and then, and I was, and Georgia called me one time on stage. I was on stage. And right before I released Razzle Dazzle, she goes, what are you doing? I said, I'm doing stand up. She goes, oh, are you telling the escape room story? And I was like, no, why should I? She goes, absolutely, dad. You remember you almost shit in Papa's mouth? I went, oh, yeah. And then she kind of broke down the story onstage, told it. I went, that's my closer. And I was like, good. I'll get made fun of if I do this dog story. Everyone's gonna make fun of me and, and say, I, I just, I can, I'm, I'm thinking of it too much. And then I do this special and everyone I was working with was like, are you seeing what's happening in the room?

• 1:02:10Speaker 01

  And I was like, no, because you can't really see anything. And it's an arena. And they're like, yo, we're out there. And they're like, grown men are sobbing, crying, like, people are holding each other and laughing and crying at the same time. They're like, this is different. Like, I remember a dude I really respect, I brought him on the road, he's like, that has to be your closer. He's like, that, he goes, I don't know one comic making people cry, but making them happy cry, like, they're crying for something they love and then they're laughing and you end on a laugh. He's like, you have to do it. I just didn't know if it would work. It was like where you said about writing a book, you sit with it for four years and then, and I shot this in July and it just came out this March. So I've been sitting on this special and I just was like, I am gonna get destroyed.

• 1:02:54Speaker 01

  Like, I, I just started in my head going like, no one's gonna like this. Everyone's gonna make fun of this last story. They're gonna go, oh, Bird always cries, that's all he does. And, um, and I put it out, like, the first day, it was trending at number two and I went, which I never trended over six. And I was like, whoa, that's weird. And I went into my stories where people like, mention you, and it just looked like a straight line. And I was like, whoa. And I was like, I only got one story? I only got one person mentioning me? And I hit it, and I hit it, and I was like, oh, my God, I couldn't get the line to go away. And I was like, and it was all about this story. Everyone was just sobbing, crying.

• 1:03:36Speaker 01

  People were sending me pictures of their dogs, they were holding their dogs, they were filming their husbands crying. They were, I mean, it was so cathartic for me, and I'm, I'll be very real. So you get on Netflix on a Tuesday. You find out if you trend on Wednesday. I did press all Wednesday morning from six in the morning till nine o'clock. I don't know if anyone's liked the special. I don't know if it's trending. I don't know any of that. I go and take a nap and I'm waiting for an agent or someone to text me like I figured I said to myself, if it just trends in the top 10, I'm going to be happy. Look, I'm 52. Maybe there's guys doing it better than me, younger than me. I expect them to just blow my doors off. Just please tell me I have another year of doing stand up. That's the way your head thinking. And I took a nap.

• 1:04:21Speaker 01

  I woke up and I got a text from a younger comic I really, really like Ricky Velez. And he just said, yo, man, you're killing it. This is a great special. I've been a fan of yours for a while. I'd love to hang out next time I'm in LA, not do a podcast, hang out. I was like, that's cool. And I like this guy. This guy's doing what I was trying to do at his age. He's doing it way better than I'm doing it. So I was like, oh, nice. I was like, you like the special? Cool. I was like, nice, a young kid liked the special. And then my texts blow up. And that's when I went into my stories and I saw it. And as I'm watching the stories, people are saying, I started sobbing, crying just out of gratitude, out of just sitting there going like, oh, the thing I did is good. It's not horrible. It's not horrible. People don't hate me. Oh, I was just sobbing, crying in my bed.

• 1:05:06Speaker 01

  I was like, and then Leanne comes in from her workout class. She's like, what's wrong with you? She just walks in, she goes, you're trending at number two. And I was like, what? I didn't even look at Netflix. And then I was like, and so I was like, whatever. I'm good. My first day was good. And then it's been like that every day. The response has been crazy. People really are connecting with that last story.

• 1:05:26Speaker 04

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• 1:05:55Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. If you're talking about quality food, you can't forget Whole Foods Market, who've been holding themselves to the highest standards since they opened in 1980. That means you'll see thousands of organic products across their stores, from the produce department to the aisles. It also means you'll never see certain ingredients. They've banned artificial sweeteners and colours, high fructose corn syrup and more, so you can shop with peace of mind. Shop Whole Foods, Market, in-store or online. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. We talk a lot about intentional decision-making, and that extends to the practical stuff too, like making sure your coverage actually works for your life.

• 1:06:39Jay Shetty?

  State Farm is there to meet you where you are, and they know how sweet it is to feel good about your decisions. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbour, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state. Talk to me about what you just said now, that inevitable embracing of insignificance and irrelevance that everyone goes through. Like that idea that one day, no one's gonna care about me, no one's gonna care about you, no one's gonna care about 99.9% of everyone who's relevant,

• 1:07:23Jay Shetty?

  current, whatever trending we wanna call it. And there's that thing that creatives go to, where you see them holding on to their last bit of relevance and significance, and it's painful to watch. But you understand it, because you go, well, wait a minute, I really liked, no matter how much we say, like, you know, Ellen said something that I love. She goes, I used to always say I didn't care what people thought. That's when everyone thought I was amazing. Like, you know, it's like, it's really easy to say I don't care what anyone thinks, when I'm the number one person in the world. But then when you actually are not number one, number two, number three, number four, you start getting down on that list, you'll be on number 10. Now you do start caring what people think. Especially like what you said, the new god. Like, and especially when the new god has respect, that's a beautiful thing.

• 1:08:07Jay Shetty?

  But when the new god's kind of like, you know, living how you were when you were the new god, who has that overconfidence, that arrogance. How do you think about that? Like, how have you reflected? Have you thought about that at all?

• 1:08:18Speaker 01

  That's all I think. You gotta remember, I didn't, I was like... I was just gonna be a journeyman comic. Like, I wasn't supposed to be successful. I, you know, I did Travel Channel and I thought that was gonna be my life. And then when I got let go from Travel Channel and my special didn't do well, the machine didn't do well, and I'm getting fat shamed by Tommy. I was like, okay, I remember saying, are we cool with this? Can we do this like this at this level? Like, I was the guy at the store when people would talk to me, more successful comics would talk to me. They'd look over my shoulder, waiting for someone better to talk to. I was a nice guy. People liked me, but I wasn't relevant to them. And so they were like, ooh, that guy's, oh, that guy's 28 and he's killing it. Oh, give me one second, bud. I want to go talk to him.

• 1:09:04Speaker 01

  And I was like, am I cool with that? I remember one time coming offstage, not wearing cool sneakers, wearing dad jeans and seeing a young comic murdering it in the car that my wife and I had seen in, we had looked at that brand car and then he had the car they had in the showroom. The car was like $220,000 and I was like, oh, how can he afford that? So I wasn't supposed to be successful and I was cool with it. I was definitely cool with it. I was like, I can just do comedy at Funny Bones. I love comedy. I'll keep putting out specials, maybe, never know. Look, Rogan's a good friend. I can always do his podcast. You know, that's how my brain worked. I had my podcast, but no one cared. And then I had a conversation with my dad. I got let go from Travel Channel. I had the conversation with Rogan.

• 1:09:49Speaker 01

  And him and Tommy, I remember them both saying like, don't worry, we can help you get ad sales. And I was like, okay. And then I posted the machine story and then all of a sudden it went like crazy. I mean, I'd never experienced that before. Like genuinely viral. And then all of a sudden I started selling tickets and I was like, whoa. Holy crap, this is crazy. You're just selling out, not looking at ticket counts, just going in and knowing everything's clean. And so I really honestly had kind of already let go of all of it. But there's a part of me that remembers, oh, it was cool when they, I remember, I remember getting, right before I got let go of Travel Channel, I got into a town car. They got me a town car for something. And I remember getting in and going, this is the last town car I'll ride in.

• 1:10:32Speaker 01

  I was like, I should really enjoy this. So I kept always saying that every time I went to theaters, I was like, I probably won't do theaters again. You only do theaters once, really. I'll go back to clubs, but enjoy this. This is the Chicago theater. Let's go for a jog tonight and watch the sunset. And then, yo, uh, this is crazy. I'm doing the beacon. I probably, I'm not gonna sell two shows of the beacon ever again. So let's really enjoy this. And I brought my girls that I grew up with in Tampa up to the, out to my bus and we hung out and, and I, and then when I started doing, I didn't even know I was gonna do arenas. I didn't know I was doing an arena. I was in, uh, Green Bay. And I was like, I'm doing an arena? And they're like, yeah. And I was like, whoa, I gotta really enjoy this. And so I, every step of the way have been like, I gotta enjoy this.

• 1:11:15Speaker 01

  But then, you know, I take nine months off, wait for the special to be released. And I was, I'm, and I, I did it again. Am I cool with not being relevant? Am I cool with not being the thing, the shiny object? And maybe going back to clubs or going back to theaters. I, I remember, I texted my manager today. I go, hey, guys, I'm, I don't need to do arenas anymore. I can do, I, I love theaters. Saw Kevin Hart did a theater. I go, there's no shame in doing a theater. A lot of them, you can see a lot of me make more money than an arena. And then the special came out and I was like, I did, it was just like a relief. I was like, I was like, I can breathe. I can breathe. That, oh my God, that is like, and, uh, and then we were on a call today and they're like, yo,

• 1:11:59Speaker 01

  you know, doing arenas again in the fall, starting in September. And I told them, I said, and I said to them, I said, you know, hey, when we book out 2026, I don't have to do arena tours. Like, I don't have to be holding on to something. I'm cool with doing some clubs and doing some, some theaters and, and, and doing some outdoor venues. I'd like to do the gorge again. But like, I go, let's shake it up, you know? And they were all like, really? I was like, yeah. I don't know. I don't care. Like it's, but that it's, I've watched it go away for people. It sucks. You're right. Well, I've seen someone hold too tightly. That's why that song, Hold On Loosely by 38 Specials,

• 1:12:38Speaker 01

  so great. Hold on loosely and don't let go. Cause if you hold too tight, girl, you're gonna lose control. You're gonna, you're gonna, that's a great song.

• 1:12:49Jay Shetty?

  It's a great song.

• 1:12:50Speaker 01

  Hold on loosely.

• 1:12:51Jay Shetty?

  No, I love that. Yeah.

• 1:12:52Speaker 01

  That's a great name for a special. Oh, it's, yeah.

• 1:12:54Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it is a good, yeah, it is a good name. I love what you're saying, though, that. I was, I was driving to one of my clients homes the other day. And this is someone I grew up watching, huge fan of, someone that I coach and work with. And I was driving to his house and I walked in and you know, it's like, it's like a mile drive from the gate to even get to the house.

• 1:13:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:13:14Jay Shetty?

  And I was just like, I have to live in the moment that I cannot believe. And now we, I've been, I've been working with him for seven years. So I've driven to this house like every day for years.

• 1:13:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:13:23Jay Shetty?

  But I was like, it loses its value when I stop being grateful for it. As soon as it becomes familiar, like what you're saying, I love what you just said. I love, love, love what you just said because as soon as greatness becomes familiar and excellence becomes familiar and all of this stuff becomes familiar, you lose its value. And then when you lose it, you don't, you never got to experience it. So you realize you never had it in the first place because you were just running after it. Like you were chasing the whole time.

• 1:13:50Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:13:51Jay Shetty?

  You never held it. And what you just said is you held it for that moment.

• 1:13:54Speaker 01

  I still hold it.

• 1:13:55Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, you still hold it.

• 1:13:56Speaker 01

  I just signed up, when I did The Machine, my, my producer, Kale Boyder, he's, he's the, one of the greatest guys, like guys. Happens to be a great movie producer. And I was like, yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna not drink and not, I'm gonna be clean. I'm gonna work out, I'm gonna eat clean, I'm gonna look good. And he just kind of looked at me and was like, hey, man, that's, that's not who I hired. He's like, look, if I know who you are, like, if you're not having fun, you're not gonna, it's gonna show up on screen. But if you're having fun, it'll show up on screen. Like if you were having fun and he goes, I can't tell you the movie's gonna be a hit. I can't tell if it's gonna be a flop, you never know. But what I can tell you is you probably only gonna get to make one movie. So enjoy this process, have fun. And man, I had so much fun making The Machine.

• 1:14:40Speaker 01

  It was the experience of a lifetime because every day I was like, I will never make another movie. I will never have another movie where I don't have to memorize lines because I say whatever I want to say. Like it's, it was like the greatest life experience of my life. But yeah, that's how I look at every project. This is probably the last one I'll do. You know, I thought I know I have one more special with Netflix like I owe them one. And I go, that might be my last one.

• 1:15:05Jay Shetty?

  But that only makes it better, though.

• 1:15:06Speaker 01

  So the cool thing about a special and you don't, you don't get to experience this and I don't think some comics think about this. But I think about this. So I take this material that I create about eighteen, twenty, twenty-four months out. And I take this and I work it and I play with it. And at a certain point, I get bored of it and I reinvent it and I come back to it. But I play with this for two years. I work on this same stuff. And when I do my last taping, I did six shows and on my last taping. I was present and I said, this is the last time I'll say these words. Oh, it's like, it's like my, I give them the universe, they'll never get them again. And I get so emotional saying that, but you know, you're so, your material is who you are.

• 1:15:49Speaker 01

  And I can't, and I go, this is the last time I'll say this word, this wording and this cadence. And it's just so, it's with a band, you never do that.

• 1:16:00Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:00Speaker 01

  And then sometimes you tell a story like a machine and you've been telling it now for fifteen years. I don't still tell it. I'll still tell it. Listen, I was that story you changed my, I sat, I sat in the Ryman Theater. There's a woman named Angela Johnson, brilliant comic. She's got a great nail salon bit. I was with Arish Fear and Nate Bargatze. None of us were working very well. None of us were making money. She had sold out the Ryman and they were chanting for this nail salon bit. And I said to the Lord, I said, Lord, give me one bit that people give a shit about. I'll tell it until the day I die. And he was definitely listening. He was like, I got you. I'll one up it. I'll make it a twelve minute bit. You're gonna make a movie out of this bit. I'll tell, I got you. And that's my nail salon bit.

• 1:16:43Jay Shetty?

  You've, you've always been so open about mental health and like talking about anxiety. And, and you know, that's a big priority for us here as well, because I find that so many people in their journey never get to share that. People don't get to see that within people. You've talked about anxiety, intrusive thoughts, like, why were you comfortable enough to open up about that without thinking people are gonna pick at that? Look at that weird, your peers kind of, where, where did that give you, get that courage and confidence?

• 1:17:09Speaker 01

  I think it was stupidity. I think, I mean, I just was like, you know, when I got into the business, I was like 100% transparency. I was watching comics as a character and I was like, that doesn't seem fun. So you're gonna pick a character and then you're gonna stay a character your whole life? I was like, I'm gonna be burnt and I'm just gonna be burnt and anything I think I say, and, and, and I'm gonna live by this or die by this or this is my thing. And when anxiety came up, I just was like, yo, it's, I have anxiety. Like I have anxiety, I have really bad anxiety, I have OCD. I have intrusive thought and I have, I have struggled with that. I don't know, I don't think I have depression. Only because I just, I can't, I can't, I can't, I think people that have real, real depression, I think it's insulting for me to think the thing I go through is depression.

• 1:17:54Speaker 01

  I know what it's like to have anxiety. I had an anxiety attack driving in college and I didn't know what it was. I thought I had a brain tumor. And then the first time I was explaining it to someone, and the, and this is, I mean, this is probably 27 years old, 28 years old. I was explaining it to someone and they were like, oh, you get anxiety attacks. I went to a therapist and she said, I have a fear of flying. I don't know if you noticed, but I have a fear of flying. Rituals I do when I fly. She said, well, you, yeah, you have anxiety. Let me give you Xanax. Then I took Xanax and I was like, oh my God, is this what regular people feel like? I was like, are you kidding me? And then I, I developed a problem with Xanax as, as many people with anxiety do. And my wife, right when we had Georgia, she said, yo, you're done taking Xanax.

• 1:18:39Speaker 01

  Like I'd taken, I'd been using it, you know, on and off for like a year. And she maybe a little more in Georgia, in the end, like you're done with Xanax. It's, you can have one if you need one, but it can't be your go-to every night. It can't be the way you put yourself to sleep. And then when I, we started doing podcasts, I just was like, I don't know, I was like, I just be open and honest. You know, I have ruminating thoughts where I just chew a thought over and over again.

• 1:19:04Jay Shetty?

  Well, it's been the most recent.

• 1:19:05Speaker 01

  Oh, I have this morning. You want me to one this morning? I I'm a great, great comic. Nick Thun was telling me about when he quit drinking and he said he was having a liver failure and his back was hurting. And this morning I woke up on my side and my back hurt. I went, that does it. You party too much, your liver's failing, your liver's failing. And I started going through thoughts. I could not stop. And I have a saying when I go, when I start having anxiety or OCD, I go, be like a shark, get out of bed and start moving. Second you start moving, things start helping and I go get in the gym, get in the sauna, let's get in the sauna. Let's get in the sauna, sweat some stuff out. It's just back pain. You're, trust me, you would have other symptoms.

• 1:19:45Speaker 01

  And I, but I can't connect with it. And I, and it just, it goes on and on and on. And then, and I just obsess about it. And then, and I bring it up to almost everyone. I've brought it up to everyone I've seen today. And then I go, no booze, no booze anymore. I'm done for a month. I'm going to cut off for a month. That does it. And then I come up here and I see your house. I go, all right, bottle of champagne. What's it, what's it gonna hurt, right? But, but, but I have a, I have a saying with life, whether you're dealing with anxiety, OCD, eating, drinking, masturbate, whatever your little thing is. My saying is, and it kind of calms me down. Let's do today just a little better than we did yesterday. That's all we gotta do. Just a baby step.

• 1:20:29Speaker 01

  Little better than yesterday. And if we have a bad day today, realize tomorrow, we're gonna have, we're gonna do better. We have an opportunity to do better tomorrow. And so I've been stuck in that mindset today. And I said, let's just get, let's do a little bit better today than we did yesterday. And so that's where my head's at. But yeah, they've got, I've had really, and you know, my daughters have anxiety and, and Leanne doesn't. They have sleep anxiety. They both had sleep anxiety when they were young. So Georgia would uh wake up and think she was dying. And I remember I was so glad I had anxiety then, cause I could help her. Leanne's like, just go count sheep. I go, uh uh, let's not count. We're not counting. That's the worst way to deal with this. Just cause if you, it's shutting your brain off is the thing you need to do.

• 1:21:14Speaker 01

  If your brain is just going after it, you're you're screwed. Yeah. And so uh but Leanne's also gangster. She got both of them into therapy immediately. Uh and this therapist helped them immensely. But now Georgia and I can text about anxiety. And talk about it and and you know, it's the best thing about it is when you know other people have it. It's you're like, oh, so I'm not broken. I'm not crazy. Definitely not. Yeah. And that's the the greatest feeling. And it's it's, you know, my look, my family's seen me. When I get ready for a flight, it's like I I get physically ill. I start feeling my head getting tight. I feel this. And they're like, hey, you're just having anxiety. And then to to recognize it sometimes, it doesn't help a hundred percent, but you can breathe.

• 1:21:57Speaker 01

  That's one other one thing I always say like, wait, I'm breathing. I'm still breathing. And I just take deep breaths and

• 1:22:03Speaker 01

  I'm still breathing. Crazy anxiety scuba diving.

• 1:22:06Jay Shetty?

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• 1:22:51Jay Shetty?

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• 1:23:42Speaker 05

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• 1:24:11Jay Shetty?

  Oh, yeah, I mean, definitely. Trying to breathe and scuba diving is hard enough.

• 1:24:16Speaker 01

  I mean, probably one of the biggest panic attacks I ever had was scuba diving in a thunderstorm in Fiji at 90 feet.

• 1:24:23Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that would do it, yeah.

• 1:24:24Speaker 01

  And we're in a tin boat. And I'm just like, I get in the water and we start sinking, and I realize very quick, nothing I like is down at the bottom of this ocean. And I start kicking up to the top, and my dive instructor just grabs me, grabs my B.C., grabs my thing, puts it in my mouth, like just holds it there and just going like this. And I sunk with this Fijian woman who looked like Junior Sayow. She was a big woman. And she took me to the bottom of the ocean. And I was like, and then, but, you know, I got through it. You get through it.

• 1:25:00Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:00Speaker 01

  You always get through it. No one dies from anxiety.

• 1:25:02Jay Shetty?

  You've developed enough coping mechanisms.

• 1:25:05Speaker 01

  I don't know if I have, and I don't know if they're healthy. I know alcohol's been a big coping mechanism of mine. Yeah, the first time I learned I could sleep without drinking, like, you know, because you do it from 22 to like, you know, 30, and then one day you're like, I gotta try to go to sleep without a cocktail or a glass of wine. First time I did that, I was like, whoa, I can fall asleep. Shut up. Oh, my God, I've got enough tools to shut my brain off.

• 1:25:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:25:30Jay Shetty?

  And that relationship feels healthier now with alcohol.

• 1:25:32Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. I mean, look, let's be real, alcohol is poison. Everyone knows that. It's not good. You shouldn't do it. But I'm also not a Mormon. I like to have a good time. I like to get loose. It's for alcohol for me, it's not even the buzz. I gotta be honest with you. It's the letting loose. It's the celebration. It's the, hey, do you want to do a shot? And you go, oh, I definitely want to do it. Like, like the, it's the permission to party, like, literally is. I mean, I named that tour this because when someone's like, hey, man, when someone likes a joint, you're like, you want that? That's, that's like, yo, let's do it. Let's get after it. I love when people crack open a bottle of wine, crack open a drink and go, hey, you, you want one? It's, it's the funnest thing in the world. When, when flight attendants say to me,

• 1:26:16Speaker 01

  can I get you something to drink? I love that because they don't always say that. But when they do, I go, this is gonna be a good flight. I always, I said, I have a speech that I've, I've, people passed around, but it is like a first kiss. When we got married, Leanne goes, I says, it bum you out? You'll never have sex with anyone? She goes, no, absolutely not. I said, me either. I said, I think I'm good just having sex with you. She goes, what really bums me out is I'll never get a first kiss. I know for us, that's the worst because we got to do the kiss. All the anxiety is on us. We gotta wait the whole night. Does she want to kiss me? Is she gonna kiss me? Should I take her? Should I do it in the car? Should I do it when we walk to the car? When should I do it? Oh, no, that was the wrong time. That was the wrong time. For, for a woman, it's just this excitement of like, when's it gonna happen?

• 1:26:58Speaker 01

  Is he doing it now? When's it, is it, when's my presents show up? And that's how I feel about shots.

• 1:27:05Jay Shetty?

  Well, what's the whoop telling you? I see you with the whoop on.

• 1:27:08Speaker 01

  So I'm crazy. I'm crazy neurotic. Okay?

• 1:27:12Jay Shetty?

  Okay.

• 1:27:12Speaker 01

  So I cha, I check all of it. My favorite day in the year is what, December 30th, when they post our scores.

• 1:27:21Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:21Speaker 01

  I love whoop. And I have found that if I am overly hydrated, my, my heart rate is lower. So every night before I go to bed, I drink. Four liquid deaths, nineteen ounce liquid deaths. I drink four of them. I pee in the middle of the night, but I drink four of them. My heart rate's around fifty six beats per minute when I, and I, and that's after having, you know, a bottle of wine or some poor Osos. And so I'm wildly hydrated and that is my key for my whoop. It also, you know, for me, it also tells you how hard to work out. I love that. I love a goal because, you know, when we did the first sober October, we were all set, trying to set goals of how hard we can work out. And that, when you see the top of the mountain, you know where you have to go. And so you go, all right, I'm not done. I'm getting back on the treadmill.

• 1:28:05Speaker 01

  I'm going to get on the assault bike. Okay, here we're going to the ski erg for, we'll do, and I like, I love that. Like right now, I've already hit my goal. My goal was like, I slept horrible last night. My goal was, uh, I think at ten and I'm at nine point six. But if it wasn't, go to the gym, hit the ski erg, uh, ten calories, ten times. And we'll just get there, ten and get them a minute break. Yeah, I like that shit.

• 1:28:28Jay Shetty?

  I love it. I love whoop too. It's great to measure. You need it.

• 1:28:31Speaker 01

  And then they measure your steps and you're like, yo, whoop, how long have you been doing that? Cause you, I didn't send this in. You just turned something on. Give me my old steps. I want to know what my old steps were.

• 1:28:40Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:41Speaker 01

  I, when I started measuring steps was the very first, I got a Fitbit, the little one you put in your pocket. And bro, that changed the game for me. I was like, I'm into fitness tracking. And then when they sent these to us for the first, second sober October, buddy, I've been, this thing does not come off my wrist unless I do a special. I take it off. You're gonna need to pay me for that whoop.

• 1:29:02Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, we should figure that out.

• 1:29:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, they used to, they, they still do. They, they're pretty good to us.

• 1:29:06Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I love that. But it has been, I mean, you are literally the best time.

• 1:29:11Speaker 01

  Buddy, you, you're the best interviewer I've ever done. You're so good at this. I feel so present. Um, it's crazy.

• 1:29:18Jay Shetty?

  You're, but you're so much fun. You gotta realize this is like, there's good chemistry.

• 1:29:22Speaker 01

  What we should do is we should do a double date, your wife and my wife.

• 1:29:25Jay Shetty?

  I love that.

• 1:29:26Speaker 01

  And then my wife's gonna go, shut the fuck up or let him talk.

• 1:29:32Jay Shetty?

  I can't wait to meet her. No, honestly, we have to hang outside of this. Like, I'd love that.

• 1:29:36Speaker 01

  I've got your number.

• 1:29:36Jay Shetty?

  You're such a good time. And we end every episode with a final five. These questions have to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum.

• 1:29:44Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:29:44Jay Shetty?

  But I may ask you to elaborate because I think you're gonna give me some awesome answers. So, question number one is, what is the best advice you've ever heard or received?

• 1:29:54Speaker 01

  Uh, don't take anyone's advice. That's the best advice. But sometimes everyone's advice is so built up with their bullshit. I remember posting a, a dance video and everyone's like, why would you do that? Sold out my tour in seconds. I'm so glad I didn't listen to anybody.

• 1:30:12Jay Shetty?

  That's a good story.

• 1:30:13Speaker 01

  Don't take anyone's advice.

• 1:30:15Jay Shetty?

  I love that. Uh, I fully agree. The amount of publishers that told me not to call my book Think Like A Monk. That was my first book and they were like, don't call it that. No one wants to think like a monk.

• 1:30:24Speaker 01

  They're, they're telling, they're giving you advice based on their failures.

• 1:30:27Jay Shetty?

  Totally.

• 1:30:27Speaker 01

  And you're not them.

• 1:30:28Jay Shetty?

  Totally. And data, which is, which is already in the past.

• 1:30:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:30:32Jay Shetty?

  Right?

• 1:30:33Speaker 01

  Having said that, Joe Rogan gave me the best advice ever. And he just, he just said to me, just, you know, a little high, a little drunk in the back of the store. He's like, you need a Netflix special. And I was like, yeah. He's like, no, you need one. I was like, I don't know how to get that, Joe. And he goes, be undeniable. And he just walked away. I was like, the fuck does that mean? I wrote in my joke book and I just tried to figure it out. And then when you are undeniable, you're like, oh, that was great advice.

• 1:30:58Jay Shetty?

  I love that. Uh, question number two, what is the worst advice you've ever had or received?

• 1:31:02Speaker 01

  Worst advice I ever had, got was, uh, you should, you should start wearing a shirt.

• 1:31:08Speaker 01

  If I had worn a shirt.

• 1:31:09Jay Shetty?

  Who told you that?

• 1:31:09Speaker 01

  Uh, we'll say her name, but someone that worked at Showtime. She said, hey, you should wear a shirt for this. Trust me, no one does it without a shirt for a reason. You should wear a shirt. And I was, and I almost did. And then she said, how about this? You do one with a shirt, one without a shirt. Okay? And I said, well, then we can't cut in between them. She goes, yeah, we'll use the one with the shirt. Do not do it without a shirt. And I was like, I don't know. I can't remember thinking, I'm a little different. Like, I, I wanna do it my way. Like, I, I know that. And a lot of people were like, why would you not wear a shirt? My dad, why would you, buddy, put on a Brooks Brothers coat, a tie, look sharp? And I was like, nah, I'm gonna do it shirtless. And thank God. I mean, it like. I think that's been my, I mean, that's how some people, times people just go, oh, I didn't recognize you with a shirt on.

• 1:31:53Jay Shetty?

  That is so good. I, you know what? When you came in today and I buzzed you in and I saw you without your shirt on, I was like, he's gonna do it without a shirt. I love it. I love it. I was like, he's gonna do it without a shirt. I told the team, I was like, he's coming without a shirt. He's gonna do it. And then you, and then you came out of the car.

• 1:32:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:32:08Jay Shetty?

  And then the, your, your, your team had your shirt. And I was like, oh, okay.

• 1:32:12Speaker 01

  It was this, people would turn, my breasts are just too meaty. I'm at the point now where my breasts hit my stomach. You don't know what that's like. It's sad. I look good standing up shirtless, but sitting down shirtless, I look like I have melted candle.

• 1:32:27Jay Shetty?

  Dude, it's great. I love it. I was so, I was like, guys, he's gonna do it with a shirt.

• 1:32:30Speaker 01

  I can answer these last ones shirtless, just to, just to really be brand friendly.

• 1:32:36Speaker 01

  God, this is a nice shirt too.

• 1:32:37Jay Shetty?

  It's a really nice shirt. I really like it.

• 1:32:38Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 1:32:39Jay Shetty?

  You look great, bro. You look great.

• 1:32:41Speaker 01

  Oh, thank you.

• 1:32:41Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's like, wow, we're getting, oh, there we go.

• 1:32:45Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:32:45Jay Shetty?

  We're getting the full experience. I love it.

• 1:32:47Speaker 01

  Now I'm like, okay, what's our next question?

• 1:32:51Jay Shetty?

  You're amazing. I love this. Uh, question number three is, uh, what's different and similar about the way you parent your kids and the way your dad parented you?

• 1:33:01Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:33:04Speaker 01

  I'll tell you what's similar, okay? I parented my kids the exact way my dad parented me. What's different is my kids are smarter than I was and they told me I was doing it wrong.

• 1:33:17Speaker 01

  Dude, I was a raise your voice, raise your voice kinda dad. Girls didn't, I remember the biggest fight we ever gotten with girls. They took the collars. They're like, well, my, our dogs are naked. We have bull masters. I go, girls, the second you take the collars off, I can't control that dog. And they let both the dogs out and they chased a woman and I couldn't get them to take the collars. And I came in and I started yelling at my girls and Georgia goes, just so you know, when you get to here, we know there's nowhere else you're going. And I was like, what? And she goes, the threat's over. This is as bad as it gets. And I was like, what? She goes, you're not gonna hit us. So it's not working. All right. And I was like, oh shit. And I realized, oh, it's not working. You can't just go like, that does it. I'm not, cause this is as bad as it gets. I go, okay,

• 1:34:01Speaker 01

  where does it go from here? And then, then Georgia, uh, took the car with her friends and you're not allowed to do that. And she was like, here we go again. Leanne caught her. And I said, yo, come home right now. She drops her friends off, she comes home, she sits and she's like, all right, do it like, like that.

• 1:34:20Speaker 01

  I go, hey, it's just unsafe. Can you do me a favor? Just write like, write like a thousand words on why you think that I'd be upset about this. And she started crying and she goes, wait, you're not gonna yell at me? I went, no, I go, it doesn't work. You said that it doesn't work and it doesn't work. You're still, you're still doing bad things. So like, just write a thousand words and then give it to me. And she started sobbing, crying and she was like, she goes, I think you're, you're turning into like a really great dad. And I was like, really? And she goes, dad, you, you understand me. You're like, you're dead. It didn't work. And then she wrote a thousand words and it was all a thousand words why she loves me and doesn't want to let me down. And I went, oh shit. Yeah, I love my dad, but he didn't do that.

• 1:35:04Jay Shetty?

  Wow. Do you think having the daughter has changed you like that?

• 1:35:07Speaker 01

  Oh, those two kids, those two kids are just incredible kids, really incredible kids who get it. And, uh, and get me and, uh, I'm not perfect.

• 1:35:23Speaker 01

  Trying to plan a trip to Hawaii and both of them want to get jobs this summer. I'm like, what are we talking about? If my dad said Hawaii, I'd be like, yeah, I'll get my job tomorrow, dad. Yeah.

• 1:35:31Jay Shetty?

  Love that. Uh, question number four, you're such an open book. What's something people don't know about you that they'd be surprised to hear?

• 1:35:38Speaker 01

  I think if people heard my inner dialogue, sometimes.

• 1:35:42Jay Shetty?

  Interesting.

• 1:35:42Speaker 01

  I think they, I think people would be bummed out for me.

• 1:35:47Jay Shetty?

  Oh, interesting.

• 1:35:47Speaker 01

  You know how you say like, you say like the things sometimes you say to yourself, you go, I forget the quote, but it's like, you know, what would, what would you say if someone was saying that about your daughter?

• 1:35:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:59Speaker 01

  And you go, what, fuck, I beat that person up. And they're like, why would you let them do it to you? Sometimes my inner dialogue is, it can be really punitive. And I, and I think, I think if I, people heard it. They would, it would break their heart a little bit. And I, that's the one thing I tried better to change about myself is my inner dialogue, to be more positive about myself. But at the same time, that punitiveness is the thing that drives me a little bit. Where I go, don't let them, if they think that about you, you change, you do better, you get, that does it. Let's get in the gym, let's write, let's read that script, let's, let's do that movie, let's challenge ourselves to do that. Let's go back on tour, let's take time off. Like, I think that inner dialogue, as unhealthy as it may be, I bet if most people heard that inner dialogue, they'd give me a hug and go, I do the same shit.

• 1:36:43Jay Shetty?

  Hmm, yeah, definitely.

• 1:36:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:36:46Jay Shetty?

  I think we all do it, I do it, we all do it.

• 1:36:48Speaker 01

  You just look in the mirror and then you, you should be happy. Look at these crystal blue electric eyes.

• 1:36:55Jay Shetty?

  Oh man, I think we're, it's, there's so many, I, I think you're spot on, there's so many, and by the way, it is that, you're, you're somewhat trained to be driven and you know that that level of setting that standard high.

• 1:37:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:37:08Jay Shetty?

  Is what lets you rise and keep going. Otherwise, we would have sat here for 10 minutes and walked off, right? Like, what, there's no need.

• 1:37:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:37:15Jay Shetty?

  So there's that, and then there's the compassion. And that's why I've seen the best performers in the world, they have high standards, but then they have high grace. And it's like, if you have one or the other, it doesn't work. If you have high standards and you have low grace, you can't actually keep to those high standards.

• 1:37:30Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:37:30Jay Shetty?

  And if you have low standards and high grace, well then you'll never get anywhere.

• 1:37:34Speaker 01

  I'm always blown away by guys with crazy confidence.

• 1:37:37Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:37Speaker 01

  And I'm like, is that real?

• 1:37:38Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:39Speaker 01

  Like, we, like, I, I go like, like, people just talk wild shit. I'm like, I'm like, yo, I'm actually a good comic. I'm better than, like, I'm, I'm like legit, but like, you believe that about yourself?

• 1:37:50Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:50Speaker 01

  I'm always blown away by that.

• 1:37:51Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, but you have to.

• 1:37:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:37:53Jay Shetty?

  You have to, there was this great, uh, Federer gave this, Roger Federer, the tennis player, gave this amazing commencement speech last year. And he was saying that he's only won something like 60% of his points in his lifetime. And he was saying, the best thing I have to do is lose a point and then forget about that point. Like I gotta move on, cause otherwise I'm gonna lose the next point. Lose the next point. If I keep thinking about that last loss. But he goes, I've lost a ton of points in my life. He goes, my skill is not to not lose points. My skill is to be able to leave that point that I lost in the background and go win the next point. And I feel like that, that's that compassion. That's that grace of like, just move on. Next one. Like you did with your next special. The first one didn't work out, next one. Like, let's see what can go. So.

• 1:38:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's crazy. I think that's a, yeah, I don't know who I'd be with if I, like, I sometimes toy with the idea of getting on Prozac or something. And then I go, but wait, I don't wanna get rid of the, maybe that's my, my mom, I told her I was gonna get on Prozac. She goes, oh honey, those are your nooks and crannies. What? My mom has zero anxiety. Zero anxiety.

• 1:38:55Jay Shetty?

  Wow. I love that.

• 1:38:56Speaker 01

  My dad called one time. He was calling me on FaceTime. He goes, hey buddy, I wanna just tell you that I love you. I'm going into surgery tomorrow. I go, okay. I said, was it a crazy surgery? He goes, no, but you know, you know, just wanna, you know, I love you. And I hear from my mom in the background go, sometimes they don't wake up. I was like, wait, mom, what? She said, sometimes they don't wake up. So your dad may not wake up. He may die. And I'm like, I look at my dad's eyes and he's like, I live with this woman.

• 1:39:22Jay Shetty?

  Oh God. Last two questions. All right. Um, where am I? Let's do, okay. Yeah. So has there ever been a joke or something you said in a roast or something like that on stage where you're like, yeah, I went too far. But yeah.

• 1:39:35Speaker 01

  Yeah. Every podcast I do.

• 1:39:37Jay Shetty?

  Cause you're sensitive too. That's the thing.

• 1:39:39Speaker 01

  Oh, I never, I never wanna joke to hurt someone.

• 1:39:43Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:43Speaker 01

  I remember I told a joke one time about, uh, about black women. It was a good joke. I, I would have stood by it. Had a fan not come up to me. It was a black woman. She was really pretty. And she said, hey man, I, uh, I'm a fan and I was like, cool. She goes, I just want you to know that that joke kind of hurt a little bit. And she goes, and I know that wasn't your intention, but it didn't make me feel like I was still part of the team. I felt like I was now an outsider. And I went, ooh. She goes, yeah, I know. She goes, I didn't, I wasn't thinking about being black until you said that. And then when you said it, I realized, I was like, I'm the only black woman in there. And I went, oh, that's not my intention. And she goes, I know. That's why I'm telling you.

• 1:40:27Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 1:40:28Speaker 01

  And I was like, yeah, and I remember, and but you don't realize that when you do comedy, you're just trying to get laughs, right?

• 1:40:33Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:33Speaker 01

  And the one time I didn't believe a guy was blind and he was blind. I really regret that. I didn't, Tommy told me he wasn't blind. He was lying. And I tested him and then he got up and he was really blind. And I was like, wow, he, he's really blind. And they're like, he got blind two days ago. And I was like, oh, God. So he wasn't, it was, yeah, that was, hey, I could, we could do a podcast on regrets. I've been doing this 25 years. I regret a lot.

• 1:40:59Jay Shetty?

  What about, what about when you said your daughter see a special and they're like, dad, stop being a misogynist like?

• 1:41:03Speaker 01

  They were like, they told me, they go, yeah, dad's just a misogynist. And I went, no, I'm not. And they went, have you ever watched your stand up? And I was like, yeah. And they're like, do you hear the way you talk about mom? And I was like, that's mom. And they're like, dude, dad, dude, you're a wild misogynist. And then Isla was like, could you just write a joke for women, like to make the women feel like better than the men? And I was like, I can do that. And then I wrote it and they didn't like it. They definitely didn't like it.

• 1:41:35Jay Shetty?

  But, but maybe that's coming. Maybe you're, you're moving in that direction.

• 1:41:38Speaker 01

  Maybe, I don't know. I don't know what my direction is. Now that I have this crying joke at the end, I feel like everyone's gonna be like, what are you gonna make us cry about next? And I'll be like, oh, God, hope my dad dies. So I buried my dad. They're like, here we go.

• 1:41:51Jay Shetty?

  Final question. We ask this to every guest who's ever been on the show. If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?

• 1:42:02Speaker 01

  The law I would make, like, I really dig, like, siesta in Spain. But not everyone's a napper.

• 1:42:11Speaker 01

  But I like that concept that there's like, I would do like, I would do state mandated happy hours. Like state mandated happy hours where like, where like you, you had at five o'clock when you got off work, you couldn't go home. You had to go to, everyone have court appointed bars and you had to go to these bars. And you don't have to drink, but you got to spend time and talk to people in the community. Like you've got to go there and people can drink and it's only an hour. It's one hour, but everyone goes and you, and everyone has to go and be social and just be connected to, that's what I think is so cool about London. We were talking about that is the pub energy. You guys got that. And I think that in America, if we knew like, I was like, oh, we got to wrap this up. We got to go to Chili's real quick. And you're like, oh, you go to Chili's too? I go, well, this week I'm going to Chili's.

• 1:42:54Speaker 01

  And then we went to Chili's and you're like, we should get a drink. I think that would be awesome. And I would definitely do comedy at those shows. I would love that. Court appointed mandated happy hour comedy shows.

• 1:43:06Jay Shetty?

  There we go. First time ever we've had that on the show. So it's a good answer. I love it. Bo Crasher, lucky. Special's out.

• 1:43:15Speaker 01

  I'm the luckiest dude in the world.

• 1:43:17Jay Shetty?

  This is so much fun. You are such a great guy.

• 1:43:19Speaker 01

  And, and thank you for, thank you for listening to me tell you how important I was on that plane. I'm so glad I said that.

• 1:43:26Jay Shetty?

  In the best way possible. I was like, I was like, he is, I already know he's funny because I was like, no, normally if someone said that you just, it wouldn't land, but you said it in the most sweet, endearing way.

• 1:43:38Speaker 01

  I wish I had recorded that. I wish I had recorded that because I would love to hear what I sound like talking about myself because I know it, I know it comes from a good place, but especially like I can't, if I see someone I recognize, I get overwhelmed.

• 1:43:52Jay Shetty?

  You were amazing. You were so nice. And then you mentioned Tom Segura and I was like, oh yeah, I know Tom because my videographer works with Tom and so I was aware and then, yeah, it was, and I knew what two bears was, but it was, it was one of those weird situations where like, we just, but we hit it off, man. You're here.

• 1:44:07Speaker 01

  And what's crazy is I had you, I had videos of you saved in my YouTube.

• 1:44:10Jay Shetty?

  You sent them to me.

• 1:44:11Speaker 01

  And I was like, I was like, I am watch, I watch you. I relax. I will sit back and listen to your interviews.

• 1:44:17Jay Shetty?

  You're too kind, man.

• 1:44:17Speaker 01

  Dude, you're the best.

• 1:44:18Jay Shetty?

  I want to come to your next special, next live. I'm there in the audience.

• 1:44:22Speaker 01

  Done. Double date first.

• 1:44:23Jay Shetty?

  I'd love that. For that, that first.

• 1:44:24Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:44:25Jay Shetty?

  I love it. I'm in.

• 1:44:26Speaker 01

  Jay, thank you.

• 1:44:27Jay Shetty?

  I love it. Thank you, bud. If you loved this episode, you'll love my interview with Will Smith on owning your truth and unlocking the power of manifestation.

• 1:44:35Speaker 02

  Anybody who hasn't spoken to their parents or their brother, call them right now. Don't think you're gonna have a chance to call them tomorrow or next week. That opportunity with my father changed every relationship in my life. Mr. President, my company tore me of the explosion on our rig on October 2nd.

• 1:44:56Jay Shetty?

  Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami.

• 1:44:59Speaker 02

  They all heap the blame on me.

• 1:45:01Speaker 01

  Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess, and Digger's gonna dig us up. From the director of Birdman and The Revenant.

• 1:45:08Speaker 06

  What would happen if I stopped going? You stop, you freeze to death. That's what.

• 1:45:12Speaker 01

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 1:45:16Speaker 06

  I'm not the first daddy.

• 1:45:17Speaker 01

  Digger. See the trailer online. Only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17. Not a middle without parent.