903. Q&AF: Setting Boundaries, Getting Over Guilt & Developing The Skill Of Patience

On today’s episode, Andy answers live call-in questions on how to set boundaries with other driven people, what are some good ways to let go of guilt from your past, and how to build patience as you push for success.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:02Speaker 00

  Went from sleeping on the floor, now my jewelry box froze. Fuck a boat, fuck a stove, counted millions in the coke. Bad bitch, booty swole, got her on bankroll. Can't fold, dust a note, headshot, case closed.

• 0:16Andy Frisella?

  What is up guys? It's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of mob society. Welcome to motherfucking reality guys. Today we have Q and A F. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. Now you could submit your questions a few different ways. The first way is. Guys, email these questions in to [email protected]. Or you go on YouTube on the Q and A F episodes. There's a link there that you click on, submit your question there and you can uh call in live on the show and ask your question. All right. Throughout the week, if this is your first time listening, we're going to have shows within the show. We're going to have cruise the internet. We call it C T I. That's where we put topics up on the screen here.

• 1:01Andy Frisella?

  We talk about what's going on in the world. We speculate and then we talk about how we, the people have to solve these problems going on in the world. Other times we're going to have real talk. Real talk is just five to 20 minutes of uh me giving you some real talk. And then we have 75 hard verses occasionally. That's where someone who has completed the 75 hard program comes on the show. They talk about how their life was before, how their life is now and how they used the 75 hard program to get their shit together. If you're unfamiliar with 75 hard, it is the initial phase of the live hard program. Okay, which is available for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. It's not on YouTube.

• 1:46Andy Frisella?

  It's only audio. We weren't on YouTube when that came out. All right. So uh if you're unfamiliar with live hard is the world's most famous mental transformation program and it is free. Again, episode 208 on the audio feed. There's a book on my website called the book on mental toughness. That website is andyfrisella.com. It's not necessary. You don't have to buy it, but it's got the entire program plus a whole bunch of other chapters on mental toughness. Why it's important, how to cultivate it and how to use it in your life. All right. With that being said, we don't run ads on the show. We ask very simply that you help us grow the show by sharing it. All right. So if the show makes you think, if it makes you laugh, if it gives you a new perspective,

• 2:31Andy Frisella?

  if it's something you think is worth sharing, don't be a hoe.

• 2:35Speaker 02

  Share the show.

• 2:35Andy Frisella?

  All right. What's up?

• 2:37Speaker 02

  Greetings, salutations.

• 2:39Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 2:40Speaker 02

  How's it going?

• 2:41Andy Frisella?

  Good.

• 2:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:42Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 2:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, we're, uh, 4th of July.

• 2:45Andy Frisella?

  Mm hmm.

• 2:46Speaker 02

  Got to come in. The show's released on Monday, so I mean, well, after, but, it's one of my favorite holidays.

• 2:51Andy Frisella?

  Is it?

• 2:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, it is. Like, is it, what's like your holiday rank?

• 2:59Andy Frisella?

  I don't know, man.

• 2:59Speaker 02

  Thanksgiving for me.

• 3:00Andy Frisella?

  They're all the same, me. Yeah.

• 3:05Speaker 02

  You missed an opportunity there.

• 3:07Andy Frisella?

  What? Kwanzaa?

• 3:08Speaker 02

  No.

• 3:10Andy Frisella?

  What? Was I supposed to say Kwanzaa?

• 3:15Andy Frisella?

  What was I supposed to say?

• 3:16Speaker 02

  No, I said, I said mine used to be Thanksgiving.

• 3:19Andy Frisella?

  Oh.

• 3:19Speaker 02

  You know, I tried to tee you up there, but Kwanzaa was equally impressive. That was good. Oh, that was good, man. Yeah.

• 3:26Andy Frisella?

  Well, I don't want to leave you out. You know what I'm saying?

• 3:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, it's fine. Yeah, it's fine. Did you know, did you know, fun fact about 4th of July? Did you know that the Declaration of Independence wasn't actually signed on 4th of July?

• 3:37Andy Frisella?

  When was it signed?

• 3:39Speaker 02

  I, I don't know, but it was, it was not on it. It was approved on 4th of July, but was signed like, I think, a day later or something like that. Yeah.

• 3:45Andy Frisella?

  Fun fact. Cool. Cool. They teach you that in Kwanzaa class?

• 3:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's right, it's right after the, uh, chapter on fuck America.

• 3:57Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 3:57Speaker 02

  I didn't read that chapter. No, it's, uh, it's Q and A though, man. It is, uh, this is one of my favorite episodes.

• 4:03Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, me too.

• 4:04Speaker 02

  It's, it's awesome. Get to, to hear some.

• 4:06Andy Frisella?

  I think we should just switch and say, no more CTIs and only calling Q and As.

• 4:11Speaker 02

  Ooh, you're trying to piss some people off.

• 4:13Andy Frisella?

  I actually think we should do two of these a week.

• 4:15Speaker 02

  Two Q and As?

• 4:16Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 4:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:17Andy Frisella?

  That's what I think. I think it's a totally different audience. Well, I know it is. And I think the show would be much more valuable if we did two and not just one. I was gonna talk to you guys about it later, but since we're talking about it.

• 4:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's, it's out in the open. Yeah.

• 4:32Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, I'm there. I know how that would work.

• 4:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, same.

• 4:34Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. Like, how would we record that with the schedule?

• 4:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:39Andy Frisella?

  Man, if only I was a professional podcaster, not just a fucking idiot with a microphone.

• 4:44Speaker 02

  We do this shit every day.

• 4:45Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, that's right. All day long, man. You know, I can get one of those microphones like all these dudes get and just stick it in my face and record 700 videos in a row. And, you know, I could produce content all day long. Yeah, read quotes and then interpret them, you know, like, let's do that. We'll, we'll just read all these quotes and then we'll interpret them. And, uh, you know, we won't talk about any actual lived experience. We'll just talk hypotheticals. You know, what's this mean to you? What's your truth? You know?

• 5:16Speaker 02

  Truth.

• 5:17Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 5:22Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, I could move up from, you know, 20, rank of 22.

• 5:25Speaker 02

  That's actually.

• 5:26Andy Frisella?

  Globally.

• 5:26Speaker 02

  That is impressive.

• 5:28Andy Frisella?

  No, it's not. We fuck, I was number one with M F C E O for a long time, bro. Overall.

• 5:32Speaker 02

  Overall?

• 5:33Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 5:33Speaker 02

  Shit.

• 5:35Andy Frisella?

  I mean, we were up there, dude.

• 5:36Speaker 02

  We got some work to do.

• 5:37Andy Frisella?

  Well, you know what it is, dude, is like, the podcasting has, you know, back then, there was not nearly as many podcasts and now there's just a ton. And now big business has gotten involved in the podcast. So there's these big networks that run massive amounts of advertising. That's why sharing the show is so important, you know? For us, we don't take corporate sponsors. We're not signed up with some network. It's an independent show that we finance ourselves. And, uh, we hang in there with, you know, the people who are spending millions and millions and millions of dollars to promote the show. So, you know, it's, it's cool. It's, it's really good. I know we're the only organic show that's ranked that high for sure. And probably the only unaffiliated show that doesn't, that isn't on a network. Besides Rogan, I think Rogan doesn't, oh no, he's with Spotify.

• 6:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, Spotify.

• 6:23Andy Frisella?

  But, I mean, let's, let's be real. Rogan's fucking Rogan. It's a different level.

• 6:29Speaker 02

  4.42 million podcasts.

• 6:31Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 6:31Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 6:32Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 6:33Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 6:34Andy Frisella?

  Yep.

• 6:34Speaker 02

  That is crazy. Yeah. Well, sweet, man. Let's get into it. Let's make some people better today.

• 6:39Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 6:40Speaker 02

  Um, let's start off with, uh, start off with the call in. Let's get our, our home, homie Kristen.

• 6:45Andy Frisella?

  Kristen.

• 6:46Speaker 02

  Kristen on the phone. Let's give her a call.

• 6:53Speaker 03

  Hello, this is Kristen. Hey Kristen, greetings, salutation, how are you?

• 6:58Speaker 03

  I'm good, how are you doing today?

• 7:00Andy Frisella?

  We are calling from India. You owe us money.

• 7:06Andy Frisella?

  You owe us-

• 7:06Speaker 03

  Whatever.

• 7:08Andy Frisella?

  You, you, we-

• 7:09Speaker 03

  Whatever Andy, hi, good morning, it's nice to talk to you.

• 7:12Andy Frisella?

  Your rich uncle passed away and he left you a billion dollars.

• 7:16Speaker 03

  I just need two Walmart gift cards.

• 7:18Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 7:19Speaker 03

  All I have to do is give you all of my account information and you'll just make sure that that hits, yeah. Yeah. I've been listening to you guys too long to be that stupid, so thank you guys.

• 7:31Speaker 03

  So what's going on Kristen? Guys, uh, man, I really appreciate the call, I'm so excited about this, this is fantastic. Um, so I've been, I'm a big fan, thank you guys for everything that you do. Um, my boyfriend is actually the one who paid the fee and turned me on to y'all. So we can all thank him, um, for all of the, the growth personally and professionally that I've done, listening to you guys and thanking you. Um, but I think kinda where I'm at right now is I'm wanting to keep, keep achieving and keep succeeding, you know, in myself and my career and in my relationships. But at what point, I think,

• 8:10Speaker 03

  can I start to take more ownership of that and set the boundaries in place? So that I'm basically just telling the world, no, get on my schedule or get the fuck out of my face. I really don't have time for your bullshit and I just need, I know what I need to do. So,

• 8:28Speaker 03

  but I also am trying to do this with a partner. And I want him to get his, meet his goals, um, and I wanna support him in that. And I do think that we have a good thing going and that we are both very supportive of each other. But there's still these kind of growing pains and learning curves where-

• 8:51Speaker 03

  I don't want to keep him from achieving his goals, but I gotta go to sleep. So if you're going to the gym at 11pm, I'm not going with you because I already did my workout this morning, you know?

• 9:01Andy Frisella?

  So setting boundaries for yourself to other people.

• 9:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, like setting the boundary. I want to support you in your goals. You're supporting me in mine.

• 9:13Speaker 03

  But at some point, something's gotta give and I'm not always gonna go to the gym with you. Because I are, because we're on different schedules now. Because I did my shit, you have your other shit to do and now here we are.

• 9:27Andy Frisella?

  Is this a current point of contention where you guys are like disagreeing here or?

• 9:33Speaker 03

  It has been. It absolutely has been. I, I, I've done the sleep deprivation thing. I've got small kids. I gotta go to bed to be my best self. So it has been, I think when I first said this question in, it was after a recent, a recent fight about this very topic. Um, and that's kind of, kind of what led to it.

• 9:55Andy Frisella?

  Well, I mean, I, you know, I, that's a hard question for me to answer because the answer is so obvious. You say, uh, hey, I'm fucking tired. I'm not going to the fucking gym at 11 and see you later. Like what?

• 10:12Speaker 03

  Right.

• 10:12Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. What, what does, uh, I mean, you know, if you guys are in a good relationship, uh, that should be automatic and it should be understood. Like, hey, we both have a role to play. Um, this is my role. This is what I'm working on. This is your role. This is what you're working on. I mean, if that's a problem, you know, try waking him up at three o'clock in the morning a few times and see how he likes it. So, uh, you know, I, I don't, that, they'll, they, these are very fundamental, automatic things that should be, uh, pretty easy to overcome. Because dude, if, if you have a problem and I'm just gonna be real, that's why you called.

• 10:53Andy Frisella?

  If you have a problem setting boundaries about shit like this, you're gonna have big problems achieving big goals. Because this, yeah, this is a very simple.

• 11:03Andy Frisella?

  A very simple boundary setting exercise that to me and I realize that you know to you it may be different but to me that's just super basic shit and if we can't have a direct conversation with the person that we live with um you know that's going to be a problem because as you go as you go down the road of building anything it's going to get harder and harder and harder and there's going to be periods of time where there is no time and that has to be understood for a relationship to survive that kind of growth and you know sometimes they don't survive and and

• 11:48Andy Frisella?

  sometimes people aren't aligned and sometimes you don't find out that you're not aligned until later you know everybody wants the big prize everybody wants to be proud of what they're doing everybody wants to say they want it you know the aesthetic of hunger is very appealing but nobody wants to fucking starve you know what I'm saying and like dude when you're talking about building shit it's starving and it's hard and it takes massive amounts of sacrifice of time and um you know that has to be understood by both parties or it's going to be a constant you know problem and dude I could tell you you know uh I've been in a number of relationships over

• 12:31Andy Frisella?

  the last 26 years and every time I was in a relationship where it wasn't complimentary I made zero progress in my business and my goals because a lot of my attention was put towards appeasing the other person and uh you know not getting what I needed to get done done and the reality of that looking

• 12:53Speaker 03

  They don't want to do that to each other right

• 12:55Andy Frisella?

  What's that?

• 12:57Speaker 03

  I said, we don't wanna, we don't wanna do that to each other. It's like, we both know that we want to support each other towards reaching our goals.

• 13:03Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, but.

• 13:04Speaker 03

  But sometimes we do that via different routines.

• 13:07Andy Frisella?

  But what I'm telling you is.

• 13:08Speaker 03

  And am I a dick for saying, hey?

• 13:10Andy Frisella?

  What I'm telling you is, is it sounds good until it's fucking real. And everybody says they wanna support. Everybody says they want, you know, to, to help. But when it gets real and there's not enough time and, you know, there's priorities that have to be taken care of. That's where you find out really if people are actually about it. So I think you guys need to have some real conversations about what that actually means. Because as you grow and as you progress, these things are gonna get more difficult. And if they're already difficult. You know, there needs to be a realignment at a minimum.

• 13:49Andy Frisella?

  Does that make sense?

• 13:51Speaker 03

  It does make sense. And I hear that. And I do think that it is about kind of aligning the routines about it. Because I don't wanna be this person that's holding him back either. Um.

• 14:03Andy Frisella?

  No. I mean, look, man, it's, it's, first of all. Let me be real, dude. I don't know anybody who has built anything relevant by themselves, meaning.

• 14:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:19Andy Frisella?

  Anybody who's built anything, they either built it while they were with a supportive partner and then maybe separated. But I don't know anybody who built it when they were single. Because dude, the amount of work and the amount of effort and the amount of, of just straight up ass beating that you're gonna take. It, you have to have someone there that can help you with things. And I don't know anybody who is what I would consider massively successful, who didn't have a supportive partner, even if they were single. So. You know, that's my honest experience. I can't name one person I know who's built anything

• 15:00Andy Frisella?

  real that wasn't with a partner that was supportive. I know a lot of guys who maybe they built something and then got divorced and now they're single. I know a lot of guys, uh, you know, who were single in the beginning, got married, had a supportive partner, then, you know, broke up and lost their shit. But like, there's just a lot of things that people don't consider. And I actually believe that the dynamic between men and women, especially in building a life, I think is very skewed in the way culture and society presents it. Because I personally believe that it takes both people. And so I think, you know, this

• 15:45Andy Frisella?

  whole identity of, you know, I could do things on my own. I, you know, I, maybe, I don't know anybody who has, you know what I'm saying? Not anything real. So I think it's just conversations. I think it's getting aligned, having some conversations and, uh, you know, being real about what it's gonna take. You know what I mean? Like, there's gonna be times where it's gonna be really fucking hard. And you know what? When those times get really fucking hard, I don't want to hear you fucking cry about it. I, I don't. You know what I'm saying? Like, not you, but your partner, you know? So, what do you think?

• 16:25Speaker 03

  Well, I'm just, that, I don't, so I'm like, you know, the Fino in this relationship, right? But I don't want to be the one who's backburnering my goals and my needs either.

• 16:36Andy Frisella?

  Well, what are your goals?

• 16:37Speaker 03

  I have things I'm trying to achieve. Well, I'm trying to, like, make a high salary and reach that and have investment opportunities through those goals. And I'm on my way. I'm making a lot of progress, but...

• 16:56Speaker 03

  I don't want to do it by myself either, but I don't want, I don't, it's like, I want to be able to find this balance. And I guess that that isn't setting boundaries. And so we're both able to work towards our independent goals, but doing that together so that we can have a together goal.

• 17:10Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 17:11Speaker 03

  But I don't, I have my needs that need to be met and I don't, and some of that is through the like our actual relationship.

• 17:19Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 17:19Speaker 03

  And I don't want to be the one, because I'm, I'm, I am divorced. So I don't want to go down that fucking road again.

• 17:26Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, he needs, he has needs too. So it's not just one sided.

• 17:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:31Andy Frisella?

  Um.

• 17:32Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 17:32Andy Frisella?

  Listen, lots of people do what you're trying to do. It happens every day. Uh, I don't think this is overly complicated. It's just about having some honest communication and keeping communication open without being emotional about it. Um.

• 17:46Speaker 03

  Right.

• 17:47Andy Frisella?

  You know, it's, I, I don't, I don't think anything that you're trying to do is, is so abnormal that it, it, it's, I mean, this is the way millions of people operate. And by the way.

• 18:02Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 18:02Andy Frisella?

  This is something for everybody else too, not, not just you. This relationship dynamic that you are sold as normal is not that normal. Okay. The perfectly happy married couple with the white picket fence that we're all told represents what life is supposed to be. How many motherfuckers do you know actually have that? Cause I don't know many, all right? And I certainly don't know many that have a big life. Meaning they've built a lot of things. They make a lot of money. They have the freedom to go spend money and do vacation. None of those people have this traditional life. And we all, and this is all of us, spend our time judging our lives against this ideal

• 18:45Andy Frisella?

  that nobody fucking has. Nobody has it. So when you think of like what you're trying to build, understand that you are free to design that any way that works for you and what you're trying to accomplish. And none of the ways that you can design are wrong. There's all kinds of ways to live a relationship. And just because in the movies, they make it seem this way, doesn't mean that if we're not that way, that there's something wrong with what we do, you know? Uh, so be careful of that too, because a lot of people live against a standard that is very.

• 19:24Andy Frisella?

  Imaginary, in my opinion. I just don't know many people that live that.

• 19:29Speaker 02

  In theory or application.

• 19:30Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, I mean, do you?

• 19:31Speaker 02

  No, I don't. I don't.

• 19:33Andy Frisella?

  And dude, sometimes the happiest people have completely non-traditional relationships. You know, they, they understand like, hey, this is what works for us. Like, bro, I know a dude who's married who lives in a fucking completely different house than his wife. They're happy as fuck.

• 19:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:48Andy Frisella?

  You know, and everybody looks at him, they're like, what's wrong with you?

• 19:50Speaker 02

  That's wrong.

• 19:51Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, right. Well, dude, it works for them. So who gives a fuck?

• 19:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:54Andy Frisella?

  You know, so.

• 19:56Speaker 02

  Gotta find what works for you.

• 19:57Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, you know what it does? It keeps them dating.

• 20:01Speaker 02

  Pick you up at nine?

• 20:02Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, that's right.

• 20:02Speaker 02

  That's actually kinda cute.

• 20:03Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, but not only that, you know, you're not, you're not, there's, there's, there's mystery there. There, like, bro, it's kinda hard to have mystery when you're taking a shit in front of your wife for 20 years. You know what I'm saying? Like, that dude for real. So like, people dog the dude, but the reality is, he's got a healthy relationship. You see what I'm saying?

• 20:22Speaker 02

  100%.

• 20:22Andy Frisella?

  So, we gotta be careful not to judge everybody just because it looks different. And I guess what I'm saying to you, Kristen, is get like, get that in your mind, you know, like dude, there's, there's no right or wrong way here. It's, it's about being effective towards what you're trying to do. And that's just gonna require communication. It sounds like you're with a good dude. You know, he did, he did, he did put you onto the show.

• 20:45Speaker 02

  That's what I'm saying.

• 20:45Andy Frisella?

  He must be alright.

• 20:47Speaker 03

  That's true. That's true.

• 20:49Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 20:52Andy Frisella?

  It sounds like, you know, you, it's honestly, it sounds like you just want confirmation. And, and the truth of the matter is, is like, yeah, dude, there's no right or wrong way to do this. Just communicate openly and it sounds like he's driven and he's, he wants to do his thing. And you guys will figure it out, man. Lots of people do. Lots and lots of people do. And I, I would say, I just wanna say this again, the happiest people I know do their own thing and they don't measure against what everybody else is doing.

• 21:20Speaker 02

  Love it.

• 21:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:21Speaker 02

  Love it.

• 21:22Speaker 03

  I like that.

• 21:22Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 21:24Speaker 02

  Sweet. Well, thanks for, uh, thanks for taking the call.

• 21:26Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, you're welcome. Yeah.

• 21:29Speaker 04

  Andy, you're the man, dude.

• 21:30Speaker 03

  I don't know if you can hear him. I gave my other earbud to my boyfriend. He's super excited.

• 21:42Speaker 03

  Big fan. Thank you, guys. Keep doing what you're doing. We appreciate it.

• 21:44Andy Frisella?

  Alright, see you, guys.

• 21:47Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, man, I think a lot of people do that, bro.

• 21:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:49Andy Frisella?

  Like, a lot of people measure their lives and their success and where they are, not against necessarily other people, but against this ideal that they believe is what everybody else has, when really, dude, nobody has it.

• 22:02Speaker 02

  And they've never seen it.

• 22:03Andy Frisella?

  Bro, I don't know anybody that fucking has it.

• 22:06Speaker 02

  No.

• 22:06Andy Frisella?

  You know, you got all these rules in society, bro. You're supposed to be married by the time you're thirty, or twenty-five. You're supposed to have kids. You gotta do it like this. You gotta do it like that. You gotta do it, bro. There, that's total bullshit.

• 22:18Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 22:19Andy Frisella?

  You get to do whatever the fuck you want to do. Like, reality, you know, like...

• 22:24Speaker 02

  You know what I was thinking of, too? It's like, it's like, you know, you see like those old movies where like the, the old married couple, they don't even sleep in the same bed, or they had like the two twin beds next to each other. I'm like, man, that's fucking weird. But again, like, it works. My grandparents didn't sleep in the same bed.

• 22:37Andy Frisella?

  Bro, there was a lot of rules from the old ways that actually made for better long-term relationships.

• 22:43Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 22:43Andy Frisella?

  You know what I'm saying?

• 22:44Speaker 02

  I love the point, too, though, like, you know, we just, like, because again, this is an entrepreneur show, but just trying to build anything, you gotta have some type of support there with you. Like, it's important.

• 22:54Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. Bro, listen. I think the, the male-female dynamic is so fucking fucked up in, in the way that it's presented in the world. You know, we have all these dudes screaming about, "I don't need, I don't need bitch. I'm fucking, you know, I got ten fucking hoes and..." And yeah, that sounds kinda cool, right? Like, when you're twenty. Um, I just, I, I think there's, I think we try to put so much pressure to do things a certain way, when in reality, dude, that, there is no certain way, you know? And then when we don't,

• 23:34Andy Frisella?

  when we don't go that way, um, you know, we judge ourselves harshly, you know? And, and what I was saying about the male-female dynamic, I got off the track there for a second. You know, and we got women because of the, the feminism movement, you know, saying, "I don't need no man," and men are saying, "I don't need no woman," and then both of them are fucking miserable.

• 23:56Speaker 02

  Yep, because they're both lying. Yeah, both lying.

• 23:57Andy Frisella?

  Dude, they are both lying, and they're both trying to posture and, bro, you, you know, it's...

• 24:06Andy Frisella?

  The truth of the matter is, is I personally think that's another weaponization of culture against people because the reality to build something great takes, it takes a partnership, dude.

• 24:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's real, man. That's real. Uh, let's keep moving. I got another question for you. Uh, question number two. Uh, guys, what's up?

• 24:27Andy Frisella?

  What's up?

• 24:28Speaker 02

  Andy, I'm about to turn 40 in a few weeks. Um, and it's causing me to have some really deep reflection. Um, I've done things I'm not proud of. I've hurt people, wasted time, broke promises to myself. Uh, even though I'm, I've grown since then, I still carry some shame of those versions of me. I know holding on to guilt isn't helping, but it feels like I deserve to be reminded. How do I give myself grace without letting myself off the hook? Um, I guess is what I'm asking.

• 24:59Andy Frisella?

  Well, I mean, you and everybody else, you think everybody else hasn't had those same regrets? You think everybody else hasn't done shit that they wish they hadn't? You think everybody else? See, you just don't see everybody else's shit. This goes back to fucking what we were just talking about. Every single person you know, bro, has these same feelings. Every single person looks back on their life and says, fuck, I should have done that different, or I was mean there, or I didn't treat that person right. And they feel bad about it. Every single person out there looks back and they analyze their life because dude, hindsight is 2020. You could clearly see the moves looking backwards. And they say, fuck, I wasted time here. I shouldn't have done that, or I shouldn't have done this.

• 25:41Andy Frisella?

  And there's two parts to this. One, uh, yeah, that's called life, dude. Uh, the only perfect person that's ever existed in the history of humankind is named Jesus Christ. Is that your name? Are you Jesus?

• 25:55Speaker 02

  Jesus don't count.

• 25:56Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, Jesus don't count, bro. Uh, you're supposed to sin. You're supposed to fuck up. That's the whole point. Um, the better question for you to be learning or to, for you to ask yourself is what'd you learn? And the fact that you feel shame and the fact that you feel guilty tells me that you probably learned quite a bit, which is a great thing. Okay. So how do you apply those lessons to the next 40 years? And you keep moving. And then finally I would say this, how would you treat your friend? If I was your friend and I came to you, or the guy's name, what do you have a name? Steve? Fucking whatever? I came to you, I say, hey, Steve.

• 26:38Andy Frisella?

  Listen, man. Uh. I feel really guilty about some things I did ten years ago. And I carry a lot of shame. Well, what are those, Andy? Well, you know, I could have done this and, you know, I was mean to this person and this and that. You're gonna fucking look at me and be like. Yeah. The exact same thing I'm telling you.

• 26:58Speaker 02

  That was ten years ago.

• 26:59Andy Frisella?

  Yes.

• 27:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:00Andy Frisella?

  Like, bro, there is an expiration date to your negative deeds. And you have to understand that. And for you to say, not let myself off the hook. The, the way you not let yourself off the hook is by changing your motherfucking behavior moving forward. Okay? So. What would you tell that friend? I would tell that friend, hey, guess what, Steve? Everybody has the same feelings you have. Everybody's made mistakes. Everybody has skeletons in their closet. You just aren't privy to seeing those. So you assume that you're the only one that feels that way, when literally every motherfucker out there feels that way in some way, shape or form. Some more than others, okay?

• 27:43Andy Frisella?

  And yes, there are some people, thirty percent of people have no inner dialogue. Those people probably never reflect on anything. And they go through life, but here's the, the problem. They never develop either. They never grow, they never change, they never progress. And. You have the opportunity to by just acknowledging like, yeah, that's not the person I am anymore. And I don't do those things. And, and change the behavior. And that's how you, that's how you do it. Um. You know? Like, you, would you forgive your friend for, for hat, for doing things like that? I would. I would say, hey, bro. Don't do that anymore. It's all good. You know, and that's how you should talk to yourself.

• 28:24Speaker 02

  Yeah. Is there something about, cause I, I feel like a lot of people, once they get up into that age, that like, that's when the, they wanna start reflecting.

• 28:31Andy Frisella?

  Well, yeah, because you have enough life to reflect on. You know, like when you're fucking twen- when you're thirty, bro, you're looking ahead, you're like, I'm still young. I have all this time. You know, even though I know a lot of people get thirty and they're like, oh dude, I'm so old. That's not real, bro. When you turn forty and you're in your mid forties, you start to realize, well, this is probably close to at least half my life. How have I lived it? And it's a different thing. A lot of people call it a midlife crisis. It's just a midlife assessment of how you're doing. And I don't know anybody who who hasn't become.

• 29:08Andy Frisella?

  I don't know anybody of quality who hasn't gone through that. That's normal. You're gonna go through periods of reflection in your life many times. And I think what makes the one when you're about forty or you know, mid forty's more powerful is because you actually can do the math. You're like, well, fuck. If I'm double my age, I'm eighty. So this is kinda probably half my life. How'd I do? Right? And it's heavy because you're like, fuck dude. You know, because I think everybody has this internal thing where they're like, man, you know, once I get this age, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll improve. I'll get better. I'll, I'll become the person I want to be and, you know, and then when they don't, they're like, fuck, I'm not even that person yet, you know, and it becomes a real thing.

• 29:54Andy Frisella?

  So you gotta stop telling yourself the bullshit story and you gotta stop, you gotta start living how you know you should live.

• 29:59Speaker 02

  Now, how do you balance that? You know, because you also say too, like, bro, like, you're one of your biggest critics.

• 30:04Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 30:05Speaker 02

  And so like, how do you, I guess, how do you work through that of like, making sure that you're not, you know, taking it too fucking easy on yourself?

• 30:13Andy Frisella?

  Well, li- listen, I'm, I'm probably the wrong person to ask that to because like, I'm extr- I am extremely hard on myself. Anybody who's close to me knows that, like, to the point where it's like, probably not good for me mentally. But

• 30:31Andy Frisella?

  it also is the reason why I am who I am. So I have to look at my life and say, am I happy with the result that I've produced so far? The answer is yes.

• 30:48Andy Frisella?

  How did I get here? Why did I get here? What made me get here? One of those things was being very critical and aware of myself.

• 30:59Andy Frisella?

  But what I have learned is that you can just adjust that way of living to be your baseline standard. And you don't have to be that critical. You don't have to be angry. You don't have to tell yourself you're a piece of shit. You know?

• 31:14Speaker 02

  But doesn't that get harder though? When you have more proof in the pudding, if you will, right? Like now you're doing stuff. You have less people doubting you. You know what I'm saying? So like, how do you, I guess, like, how do you work that when you're not like? People believe like they know. Okay. Yeah. You're doing some shit. You've done some shit, right? Like, and so like, how do you, I guess, just keep yourself in check? I guess in that they're like, no, I still got some shit to do.

• 31:35Andy Frisella?

  You gotta set bigger goals. Your goals gotta be like the goals I have. The amount of progress I made in my life from where I started to where I am now is not even close to the amount of progress I actually want to make. So when I look at how do I stay hungry, driven, you know, sharp, which I think is what you're asking. My goals are so big that I still feel behind from where I'm at. And I think where people get really messed up.

• 32:06Andy Frisella?

  Is they get to a certain point where they're comfortable and then they start saying, I've got it made. I can relax. They abandon all the habits that got them to where they are. And then they end up losing because they, you are in a competition. Okay. And there's other people playing the game. And a lot of people will say, well, it's not a competition. No, that fucking is. It absolutely is. If you're in business, it's totally competitive. And the minute you get complacent. You're, you're going to get beat. And so I think the way to trick yourself into not being complacent is to continue to expand your goals.

• 32:45Andy Frisella?

  To something that will take your whole life to achieve, you know, and then they will say, well, then you'll never achieve it. That's right. Because the achieving is not the point. It's the person you become along the way. And it's the process and the standard that you live in line with. And um, a lot of people don't get that, you know, a lot of people will say, well, I'm just in it for the money. You'll fucking lose, bro. You'll lose because you're competing as people like me that love the fucking war, bro. Like, I fucking love it. Every day I wake up, I'm like, I might be like, fuck, this sucks. But the minute I get out there, I'm fucking trying to kill you. And, you know, it's, you either are for it or you're not for it. I can tell you this.

• 33:27Andy Frisella?

  Every single badass entrepreneur I've ever met. They're fucking straight killers, dude. Like, they do not fucking give a fuck about feeling tired. They don't complain, they don't bitch. And the minute someone else bitches about being tired, they get excited because they're like, I got this motherfucker. It's my blood. Yeah, bro. And like, dude, this is the problem with the internet. The internet has created this fucking thing where everybody thinks they're an entrepreneur. And like, the truth of the matter is, most people just are not fucking wired for it, dude. They're not. And you will have all these coaches out there say, oh, that's bullshit, they're wired for, no, they're doing that to take your fucking money. Okay?

• 34:10Andy Frisella?

  If you can't show up day in and day out, hungry to win on your own, without having to be fucking motivated or excited or told. You won't make it long term, dude. You just won't make it. You gotta have the fire inside of you. And that's it. I don't know how to explain this to you. I try to explain it to them, but, you know. The statistics back it too, bro. You know? Eight percent of the people are entrepreneurs. Now it's like closer to 10 because of the internet. But like, how many of those people stay in the same thing as an entrepreneur for more than fucking 12 months? Right? Entrepreneurship is not, you know, running a fucking, uh, you know, coaching scheme.

• 34:53Andy Frisella?

  That's not entrepreneurship, bro. That's easy money that people make by pretending to be something they aren't. You know, we're talking about actually building a product that benefits people, that has long-term potential.

• 35:06Andy Frisella?

  There's not many people that can do that, dude. And there's not many people that can do it for years and years and years. And, and by the way, there's not many people that want to do it for years and years and years. It's fucking hard, bro. But there is a segment of people who love that it's that hard and they're fucking insane. I, I don't know. What did I tell you about my, when you, what did I text you? I'm insane. I'm fucking insane, bro. Like in every other motherfucker that I know that operates at a high level, they're insane too. They might, they might hide it better than me. They might like, they might like be really proper, you know? But I promise you, when you get a couple of drinks in and you sit down at the fucking table in my, in my, uh, cigar lounge, uh, what, what the fuck do they say? They say the same shit, bro. They're fucking insane.

• 35:52Andy Frisella?

  So are you insane? Probably not. Can you make some money? Yes.

• 36:00Andy Frisella?

  Do you have a good grasp of how hard it's gonna be? I don't think so. And so that's why I try to tell people the truth, bro, because like there's so many people out here telling all these people the wrong shit, that it's gonna be easy and you just gotta do this and that and this. And you know, it's, you could just be an entrepreneur and fucking kick your feet up and all this bullshit.

• 36:20Andy Frisella?

  And dude, what happens is, is that people try and then they fail. And then they think, well, how come everybody else is doing this so easily? And then they think it's them, when in reality they've been lied to. This is the same thing in the fucking weight loss industry. Okay? In the weight loss industry. There's all these products that have come around for years and years and years and years and years to say, "Take this and you'll get in shape." Okay? Every motherfucker knows that that's not true. Everyone. Alright? But they buy the shit anyway because they're looking for a workaround. They're looking for a hack. They hope that maybe this is the one thing and these companies know that.

• 37:04Andy Frisella?

  Okay, so they know that if they promise someone easy results, they will get the money and that the person will actually blame themselves for their lack of results. Okay, they're not gonna blame the product because they already knew the product wasn't gonna work. And they also knew that they ate like shit while they were taking the product. When in reality, bro, it's just fucking hard, man. It's boring. It's monotonous. It's, it's the hardest thing you could ever do for, for, for work. Uh, and it's not for everybody. So, I, I, you know,

• 37:41Andy Frisella?

  it frustrates me because I see a lot of really good people who are really good at what they do fail at being an entrepreneur when in reality they should have never been one in the first place. Yeah.

• 37:57Andy Frisella?

  If you don't have a high tolerance for pain, bro, and you don't have, now you can build that. Yeah. Okay, that's the point of fucking living the live hard and 75 hard lifestyle. But if you don't have a high tolerance for, for literal pain and frustration and you can't be fueled by fucking anger and hate, you're not gonna make it, dude. I'm sorry. You're, I, you're not. You're not.

• 38:21Andy Frisella?

  I love him. Cause you, that's all you get. All you get is resistance from every fucking direction. All you get- Endless supply. Yes, that's all you get. You get told you're stupid. You get told you're gonna lose. You get told you're unrealistic. You get told you're materialistic. You get told that your priorities are fucked up. You're greedy. You forgot where you came from. You're not humble. Et cetera, et cetera. It goes on and on and on. The list never stops. And then on top of it, you're gonna get hit with bullshit. Okay? You're gonna have people steal from you. You're gonna have people scam you. You're gonna have problems with, you know, regulations and, and taxes and people fucking sabotaging your business from the inside.

• 39:03Andy Frisella?

  You're gonna have your competitors do fucked up shit, bro. It never ends. It never fucking ends. And if you can't tolerate that, you cannot win. It's impossible. So you have to be someone who is willing to take all of the negativity, all of the pain, all of the frustration and swallow it and then turn it into things that actually are productive as opposed to sitting down and pouting or pretending you're some sort of fucking victim. That's the game. The game is pain. You swallow the pain. You turn it into productive action and you win when everybody else sits on the sideline and cries. That's the fucking game.

• 39:45Andy Frisella?

  Okay, so let's be fucking honest about it. It's hard as fuck. Period. If you're not wired for hard as fuck, you shouldn't fucking do it.

• 39:54Speaker 02

  That's real, man. That's real. We got one more question for you. We got another call in here. Um, let's get our guy, uh, Christian, Christian, Christian on the line.

• 40:05Andy Frisella?

  Isn't that what we just had?

• 40:06Speaker 02

  Kristin.

• 40:07Andy Frisella?

  Okay.

• 40:07Speaker 02

  This is Christian.

• 40:08Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, got it.

• 40:09Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm. Let's give him a call.

• 40:16Speaker 04

  Hello?

• 40:17Speaker 02

  Christian, what's up, my man?

• 40:19Speaker 04

  What is up, man? How you doing?

• 40:21Speaker 02

  Oh, man, you know, I'm all right. Thank you for asking. Nobody ever, thank you.

• 40:25Andy Frisella?

  That's because no one cares.

• 40:26Speaker 02

  Oh, God.

• 40:26Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. What's up, bro?

• 40:30Speaker 04

  How you doing, man? It's a pleasure to speak with you guys.

• 40:32Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, man. What's going on? Where you at?

• 40:36Speaker 04

  Uh, I'm out of Furtland, Maryland.

• 40:38Andy Frisella?

  Maryland.

• 40:39Speaker 02

  Maryland. All right. All right. That's some good lobster up there.

• 40:41Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, man. We went to Maryland one time on a lacrosse trip. Got our fucking asses kicked. Twenty-seven to fucking three by a school. A school is called Calvert Hall. I'll never forget it, bro.

• 40:55Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. Yeah.

• 40:56Andy Frisella?

  Straight up ass beating.

• 40:57Speaker 02

  Wait, is it one point to score?

• 40:59Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, they scored that many goals. Yes.

• 41:02Speaker 02

  God, Lee, bro.

• 41:03Andy Frisella?

  Yes. It was, it was an ass beating. That's what I think of when I think of Maryland. That's how, and by the way, that was like 25 fucking years ago.

• 41:10Speaker 02

  You're bringing up some PTSD.

• 41:14Andy Frisella?

  Serious trauma.

• 41:16Andy Frisella?

  So anyway. How can we help? Thanks for bringing up my PTSD, bro.

• 41:25Speaker 04

  All we got here is blue crabs and that's about it.

• 41:28Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, fucking lacrosse. Pretty good lacrosse.

• 41:32Andy Frisella?

  All right, brother. So what's up, man? How can we help you today?

• 41:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, so just some context. Me and a good friend of mine, we started a T-shirt printing company last summer, June, actually while I was doing 75 hard for the first time. And we've kind of grown as the years progress and now we're making a big financial jump and we've invested in some big equipment, you know, like large format printer, just big equipment so we can get into commercial signage and vehicle wraps and stuff like that, like higher ticket stuff. And when I'm at home and you know, I'm away from the office, like sometimes I get this feeling like, dude, you're wasting time, like watching a movie with the family or like,

• 42:16Speaker 04

  you know, you guys are going to do this and you're just wasting time. Go home and go work. Like now it's like real, like you have a financial investment into the company, like you need to go work and it's pretty hard to like be present or like try to calm down at all. Cause all I can do is like visualize what I want in the company, you know, like, oh, I want the branding to be this and I want the culture to be like this. And it just makes it really hard, if that makes sense. So.

• 42:41Andy Frisella?

  Makes a lot of sense. We were just talking about this. I was just talking about this before we called you regarding something else. So yeah, it makes a whole lot of sense, bro, but keep going.

• 42:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, my main question is like, how do you grow the skill of patience? Cause I know, I know what we, what we want in the business and what it's going to look like in 10 years, but I know it's going to take work and time to get there, but like, how do I not like, like completely break down until we get there? Like I just get this burning feeling in my stomach every time I visualize this stuff. And you know, maybe it's a good thing, but it's hard to just be present and kind of chill out.

• 43:19Andy Frisella?

  Well, welcome to being an entrepreneur.

• 43:24Andy Frisella?

  Okay, you are a real entrepreneur. You are understanding exactly what I was just talking about, which was this shit is not for everybody. It's very, very difficult and it takes up, it takes up everything. I'll answer your question here in a second.

• 43:46Andy Frisella?

  Christian is telling you guys what we just talked about on the show. What that really feels like. That is what it fucking feels like. It is fucking all encompassing. It is an anxious feeling in your stomach 24 hours a day. You can't really figure out why and you can't get rid of it. All right, and if you can't live that way 24 hours a day for a fucking decade. Or be up, dude, you can't do it. It's that, that's the truth. So to you, Christian, um, that's exactly normal. So first of all, you're not abnormal for feeling that way. I still feel that way. I feel that way every single day.

• 44:28Andy Frisella?

  Now, how do you get more patience? I had a guitar instructor for, uh, about 10 years ago. And he said to me one day, you know, I, I get pretty frustrated when I'm not good at things. And I'm not very good at guitar. And he's like, Andy. Or lacrosse. Yeah, he's, no, I'm, I'm pretty good. Fuck other motherfuckers, bro. Shit. It would have been 40 to fucking three. That's right, that's right. Yeah. So I was working off pure intimidation, bro. I was hacking these motherfuckers in the ears and shit, just trying to get them to stay away. They're apparently people are pretty tough in Maryland. Yeah.

• 45:10Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, so anyway, um, he said to me, he said, hey, man. He said, uh, you're not very patient. And I said, yes, I'm aware. And he said, do you know how you develop patience? And I said, no. And he says, by doing things that require patience. And I'm like, huh, no shit. And, but that stuck with me, right? It was something I remembered. So we're going to give you a little hack here. All right. You can't just ignore your family while you build your business. Okay? Nor do you need to. Now let me give you some, some advice from someone who's been in this for 26 years.

• 45:53Andy Frisella?

  I felt exactly like you and I do feel exactly like you. But what I can tell you from looking back is that I didn't have to feel that way. The entire time I have passed on many events. I have passed on many vacations. I have canceled vacations the day before I was supposed to go many times. I have done all of these things and the truth of the matter is, bro, I would have ended up here anyway. I would have ended up here anyway. So my advice to you as a young man is to do the best that you can to understand that if you are effective day in and day out,

• 46:38Andy Frisella?

  you can still be present with your family and it will save you regret later. Okay, you don't want to miss these times with your, your family. And it's very easy for us as entrepreneurs to tell ourselves.

• 46:54Andy Frisella?

  You know, hey, uh, if I, if I, I've got to sacrifice this for this, but dude, you don't want to ruin that part of your life when you don't have to. So, yeah, bro. So Ed, my business partner in Arte, Ed Mylett, he has a really good method for this and I'm going to share it with you. This is his method, not my method. But what he actually does is he schedules time with his family and I, I know that sounds like kind of cold. They don't know that it's scheduled, but he knows it's scheduled. So he actually puts the time in to his phone. Hey, these three hours are for my family and he turns his fucking phone off during that time.

• 47:36Andy Frisella?

  And, uh, and dude, you know, I don't really have to do that because I don't have kids. But it seems to work for him and from a lot of the people in Arte, they've started to do the same thing and they all report that that's very helpful. So when we talk about, you know, what it's like to be an entrepreneur. Yes, it's very hard. Yes, it takes everything, but

• 48:05Andy Frisella?

  just because you're competitive and you want to be in the game more doesn't necessarily mean you won't be where you want to be. If you still do other things, remember dude, one day we're going to be fucking dead and it's very important for you to realize that like, yes, it's exciting. Yes, you want to win. Yes, you've got your ass on the line. I understand all of those things. But also you don't want to be alone when you're 70 years old because you fucking punked out on your family right now. You don't have to. You don't have to. You don't have to. I have a lot of regrets and one of my regrets is that I missed a lot of things thinking that I had to when I really didn't have to.

• 48:51Andy Frisella?

  And I've talked to a lot of entrepreneurs who feel that same way. So, take it from me, you know, someone who's been down the path that you're on. You know, you don't have to do that, bro. I could hear it in your voice. You're committed. I can, you guys are already making the financial investments. You're thinking about it nonstop, which means this is not a side project to you. This is a fucking main priority. I can hear it in everything that you said. So you being aware, you being aware of those things and thinking that way gives you a massive advantage over everybody else because what we were just talking about before you called in was basically the idea that everybody thinks that entrepreneurship is just something.

• 49:33Andy Frisella?

  They think of it as like, they can just do it and it's going to be easy and everybody does it. And I can already tell that you're obsessed and obsession is what the fuck it takes, bro. So you are going to have to learn and trust that this time with your family is not only important, but it's going to contribute to what you're trying to do because it's going to remind you consistently of why you do it. So,

• 50:08Andy Frisella?

  that's my take on it, bro. I think it's very, very important for you to realize that, you know, you're going to get there either way, dude. I can hear it in your voice.

• 50:19Speaker 04

  I appreciate that.

• 50:20Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. Anything else?

• 50:23Speaker 04

  Well, I mean, I don't want to take up your guys' time too much, but.

• 50:25Andy Frisella?

  No, you're good. That's, we're here for, we're here for you, bro.

• 50:28Speaker 04

  I, I just want to say thank you, man. Um, you know, big shout out to, uh, Monte Kaufman and Marcus DeLonge. They, last year I was 350 pounds and they pushed me to do, uh, 75 hard, dropped like 40 pounds during 75 hard and dropped another 20. And, uh, my wife just completed 75 hard and I have other family members saying they want to do it now. So, um, you know, I always go back to you saying, leading by example, like, you know, you turn the page and everybody else will kind of start turning with you. And it's, it's true. Um, so I just want to say thank you for that.

• 51:01Andy Frisella?

  Nah, bro. I mean, that's, that's what it's about. That's what being a leader is about. That's what being a man's about. Um, that's exactly what this country needs is men like you who are going to set an example for other people to follow. And when we talk about personal excellence being the ultimate rebellion, it's going to come from the individual level. If we want things to change, we have to change. And if we change, other people see it, they change. And it flows down, uh, you know, from there. So that's exactly the point, bro. So like, don't, don't thank us, man. Uh, I, I'm thanking you. Like, thank you for taking that obligation serious because it's going to be men like you that change the entire fucking country.

• 51:45Speaker 04

  Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate what you guys do and, um, you know, it's extremely important. So.

• 51:50Andy Frisella?

  Did all that shit make sense that we're talking about here? On, on your question?

• 51:53Speaker 04

  No, it did. Yeah. No. Yeah. A hundred percent. I, I know it's normal. Well, I, I don't think it's, I mean, it, it's not normal between everybody. I know obviously the few people that I do know that are in business share the same feeling, but it's just that, that's probably the biggest thing I struggle with. Just it never leaves my head.

• 52:12Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, it won't. So it never will. That's, but that's okay. It never will, bro. You're never going to be the same as you were before. You're never going to be mindlessly going through life and like, you're.

• 52:27Andy Frisella?

  The peace you had in ignorance of entrepreneurship will never return. It will never return.

• 52:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:33Andy Frisella?

  You will never be standing by the pond with the wind blowing through your hair. Being like, fuck, this is great. You'll, it'll never be that way again, dude. You're changed, you're different. And maybe after you exit the business one day, maybe that will come back. But once you enter into this game and once you get like a taste for it and you realize it's for you, your life will never be the same, dude. You'll never see things the same, you'll never feel the same. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. It's just completely different. And we as entrepreneurs also have to recognize that all of this shit that we see on the internet,

• 53:14Andy Frisella?

  all of these memes, all of these recommendations, all of this advice, all of these rules, all of these things that we are inundated with are not meant for us. These are meant for regular people doing regular life. We live by a different code, a different set of rules. And if we consume all of that information and we take it to heart and we try to live at those standards that everybody else tells us that we're supposed to live at, we will go fucking crazy because it's not in line with what the reality of our lives are as entrepreneurs. So keep that in mind because you're going to look out on the internet and you're going to see

• 53:59Andy Frisella?

  everybody doing things a certain way. They're going to be judging you for doing something different. And it'll drive us crazy, dude, if we don't recognize that we have chosen a completely different path in life. So keep that in mind, dude. Uh, your mental, being obsessed the way that you are already. If you don't balance it out with awareness in terms of. That we're just built different and we accept that you're good. It's gonna really fucking drive you crazy. So um, that goes for everybody out there building something like dude, their rules and your rules completely different. And it's something that we have to accept. It took me a long time to accept that.

• 54:41Andy Frisella?

  You know, I'm reading all this shit all the time and hearing people talk about this and balance and this and that and this. And I'm like, fuck, I can't do that. And then I finally realized.

• 54:49Speaker 04

  There is no, there is no balance.

• 54:51Andy Frisella?

  Fuck no, bro. It's, it's a fucking fallacy, dude. And you know, trust me, man.

• 54:59Andy Frisella?

  All your people and your friends and they can all still be your friends and they can all still, you can all still hang out with them, but they're never gonna get it. There it's never, they're never gonna fucking get it. And as long as you get it, you're gonna be able to keep those relationships as long as you can look at them and say, hey, it's cool. They just don't get it and just kind of accept it. I take it personally. Yeah, right. Exactly. Like, that's how I look at it, bro. Like, you know, I have people.

• 55:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:22Andy Frisella?

  Say things to me still and they're like, oh, you know, and I'm like, yeah, it's cool. They don't fucking get it. Still a good dude. You know what I mean? Just a little retarded.

• 55:32Andy Frisella?

  You know, I didn't say that, but you know what I'm saying? Look, dude, it's just different paths. Yeah. It's just different paths, man. And that's what we were talking about before you called in, brother, was how the entrepreneurship path has been presented as if it's some sort of easy path to create freedom when reality, it's like running the motherfucking gauntlet over and over and over again for your whole life, you know, and um, I don't know, I, I wouldn't change it, but it's just not for everybody, you know? Love it, man.

• 56:05Speaker 04

  Now, in the, in like, I'm only 27, so I'm relatively young, but like my whole time growing up, obviously I had social media all the time and, and you guys talk about it, but like, people are just taking pictures with private jets and luxury cars and hey, I do insider stock trading like, you know, but they're full of BS, but you know, the regular people out there, me included, I mean, I believed it for a long time. It's like, what am I doing wrong? Like what? You know what I mean? Like, and so I totally see that.

• 56:34Andy Frisella?

  Bro, these people are full of shit, dude. There are services that allow you to rent cars and rent jets to take pictures for your fucking Instagram. Okay? A lot of these people are financing their cars for 10 fucking years. Like, it's so fake, dude. You yeah, look, unless you can order their product, see it on shelves, you know, see a building or some sort of actual organization or they have they they gotta have the fucking receipts, bro, and not just like the nice shit. Okay, what where's your employees? Where's your product? Can I order your product? How long you been doing it? Where do you where's your offices?

• 57:18Andy Frisella?

  What you know, like, bro, the a lot, most of these people are total fucking liars. So you just gotta keep that in mind. And by the way, their day will come. Okay, the day when their car gets repossessed and they look and they get embarrassed on the internet or they get caught scamming or whatever, man, like their fucking day will come. And it's irrelevant. It's totally irrelevant. You gotta show up every single day. And like you said, you know, you gotta show up. You gotta do everything you can. And you still have to have patience for the long game. You know, every single day has to be executed with urgency, with tasks that are critical, that move you forward.

• 58:04Andy Frisella?

  And you still have to understand that it's gonna take five, 10 years to really get it moving the way you want. So we call that aggressive patience. If you've been listening to the show, you know that. Yep. But dude, look, man.

• 58:19Andy Frisella?

  Don't sacrifice your family for this. Okay, you can you don't need to. That's that's the biggest thing I need you to take away. Like, you don't need to make that sacrifice. Schedule that time, be present, put your phone away. The world is not gonna burn the fuck down while you're going to a movie or having dinner or even going on a vacation. And the truth of the matter is, the reason I know that is because I fucked all that shit up. So take it from me. Love it. Yeah.

• 58:47Speaker 04

  Will do. Well, thank you guys so much. I appreciate it.

• 58:49Andy Frisella?

  All right, brother. Appreciate you, bro.

• 58:52Speaker 04

  Have a good day.

• 58:53Andy Frisella?

  Yep, you too. Yeah, man, I think a lot of people fucking, you know.

• 59:00Andy Frisella?

  They think they, they think they gotta fucking give up everything. You don't have to give up everything, bro. You just gotta, you can't coast. Yeah. You know, you gotta show up every day, give it everything you fucking got.

• 59:11Andy Frisella?

  And, and you know, part of success is, is having good relationships and friends. That's, success is not just a financial thing. Yeah. You know what I mean? 100% dude. But it definitely includes finances because there's a lot of people who are like, "Well, I'm wealthy." And no, you're not. You, you got good friends, you got good family, you're poor. Yeah. Right? I'm being honest. That's real. That's a real thing. That's real. Like this whole fucking thing. Or you can have all the money in the world and have nobody. You can. That's right. There's thing, and you want, you don't, you don't want to be poor either way. Yeah. But the point of the matter is, I get tired of seeing this shit on the internet where it's like, "This is the new wealth." No, fucking those numbers in your bank account or your investment portfolio is your fucking wealth. Still wealth, yeah.

• 59:55Andy Frisella?

  Let's, let's not, because all that is, is people letting themselves off the hook for their financial, uh, misfortunes. Right? The lack of execution. Yeah. Yep. Like, "Oh, this is the new rich." No, rich is rich, motherfucker. Like, I don't know what to fucking tell you. You know, I, I, you know what I'm saying? I get it. I get it. I get it. It's real shit, man. Oh yeah, fucking, you know? Feeling good is the new rich. I'm so rich. Card declined. Yeah, right. Yes. Yes. You better lure your motherfucking voice. It all, it all matters, bro. And you don't get to say, like, just like I don't get to say, "Oh, I've got a lot of success financially, uh, you know, this over here is great too." I, I, I'm not, you can't pretend. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

• 1:00:40Andy Frisella?

  Like, now I'm, but I'm aware of that. And I do have great relationships and all those things, but my, I'm not saying I don't, but I'm saying, just because you're fucking poor, you don't get to say you're rich and, you know, I'm rich in other ways. Yeah. Okay, you got some good friends and good family, but your bank account says that you're poor. Yeah. Let's be honest. That's real. Okay, and by the way, if you would like to live that way and you're happy, there's nothing wrong with that. If you're really happy. Yes, but don't pretend you're happy just so you can sound cool on the internet. I love it, man. Yeah. I love it, man. Well, guys, Andy, that was three, man. All right, guys. Well, we'll see you tomorrow for CTI.

• 1:01:21Speaker 00

  Fuck a stove, counted millions in the coke. Bad bitch, booty swole. Got her on bankroll. Can't fold, just a note. Headshot, case closed.