Get Over Myself!

Conan chats with glassblower Dan from Vacaville, CA about his most elaborate glass creations and how Conan pulls his own weight around the household. Wanna get a chance to talk to Conan? Submit here: teamcoco.com/apply

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:02Conan O'Brien?

  Who do you shop for first on the holidays, Sona? Was it, do you shop for the kids or do you shop for Tac?

• 0:06Speaker 01

  My kids.

• 0:07Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  Or Oki.

• 0:08Conan O'Brien?

  You gotta get them your stuff.

• 0:08Speaker 01

  Or my dog.

• 0:09Conan O'Brien?

  And then your husband is last. Well, guess what? It's that time of year. You feel that, you smell that, uh, that cinnamon cider in the air? Do you smell that?

• 0:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:19Conan O'Brien?

  And you see pumpkins around, people buying turkeys. A little early to buy a turkey.

• 0:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:24Conan O'Brien?

  Doesn't matter. Holidays? I would say it's just around the corner, but that's a cliche. It's, uh, very nearby in the cupboard. Well, guess what? Amazon delivers joy with low prices on the gifts you want, even this early in the season. So get ahead of the season. Shop early gifts, top picks, holiday decor, and advent calendars at low prices. Get ahead, start on holiday gifting with Amazon's low prices. Shop now at amazon.com/holiday.

• 0:55Conan O'Brien?

  The holidays are supposed to be about making memories, not managing the mess that comes with them. Between winter weather, road trips, shopping, and family gatherings, your vehicle can take a beating. Mine sure does.

• 1:06Speaker 01

  Same.

• 1:06Conan O'Brien?

  Especially when I'm back in the Northeast, driving around. I mean, I grew up with that.

• 1:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10Conan O'Brien?

  Cars were red, the salt on the road, people throwing rocks at me.

• 1:14Speaker 01

  Whaaat?

• 1:15Conan O'Brien?

  That's not a weather thing. That's more of a me being, making people angry problem. WeatherTech helps protect your vehicle from snow, slush, salt, and seasonal messes. They also make the best gifts for automobile protection, from floor liners and cargo liner to side window deflectors, even gift cards. Great for today and to prevent future messes. Everything is built to last, easy to clean, and designed for harsh winter conditions, okay? I got, I grew up with this.

• 1:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:42Conan O'Brien?

  And the salt would eat away the car. We actually did have a Chevy, my dad had a Chevy Impala, and the floor rusted out and you could see the road going by.

• 1:49Speaker 01

  Oh!

• 1:50Conan O'Brien?

  Boy, we were praying for WeatherTech and we didn't even know it. That was before it existed.

• 1:55Speaker 01

  That's cool.

• 1:56Conan O'Brien?

  So get a gift today at weathertech.com.

• 2:02Speaker 02

  Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com/callconan. Okay, let's get started.

• 2:12Conan O'Brien?

  Hey, Dan, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan.

• 2:15Speaker 03

  What?

• 2:16Conan O'Brien?

  I couldn't remember if it was friend or foe. Hey, Dan, how are you?

• 2:22Speaker 04

  I'm doing great. Thank you, guys, for having me on.

• 2:24Conan O'Brien?

  Where are you coming to us from, Dan? Where are you?

• 2:27Speaker 04

  I'm in Vacaville, California, so near Sacramento, Napa Valley area.

• 2:33Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, okay, very nice. And I'm looking at your background. It looks like you're working on a nuclear submarine. I mean, there's all kinds of machinery behind you. It's very cool looking. Are you, what are you building? I mean, it looks like you're up to something.

• 2:49Speaker 04

  I'm a glassblower, glass artist. So I work with, these are glass lays. So I work with glass tubing and, you know, glass rods, and I create stuff out of glass.

• 3:01Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, what kind of stuff do you create out of glass primarily? Are we talking like a vase? Are we talking like a test tube? Are we talking glasses? What are you making?

• 3:10Speaker 04

  My main product that I make is water pipes. So I make bongs, basically.

• 3:15Conan O'Brien?

  I see them back there. Look at those. Okay, so you're salivating. Yes. You make, you make bongs. So, and was that, did you start making bongs because of your personal affinity for bongs? Or you just like making them? Or you like the shape? What drew you to making bongs?

• 3:35Speaker 04

  I started in high school. So I feel like everyone in high school, you know, kind of wanted or needed a bong. And I liked making things, so that, you know, drew me to it. I originally started, I wanted to do welding, but it was a little complicated, I feel like. So I went into glassblowing, which was even more complicated.

• 3:55Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I was gonna say, glassblowing feels incredibly difficult. I mean, any, just the little I know about it, right? You have to, you gotta heat up the material, right? And get it molten, and then you-

• 4:07Speaker 01

  I watched the show on Netflix.

• 4:09Conan O'Brien?

  Blown Away?

• 4:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, Blown Away! So I know I'm basically a glassblower.

• 4:13Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, yeah. And is that, is that an accurate representation of glassblowing? The TV show Blown Away?

• 4:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, it is. Mine's a little different. I use a torch, so I don't have a big furnace of glass. I have a torch that I use, and then I get, I get these glass tubes in four-foot lengths, and then I'll create stuff out of that. So I don't have a big furnace that I pull globs of glass out of.

• 4:36Conan O'Brien?

  Well, you know what? I think I have more respect for you, because I think anybody can do it with a big furnace. I do. I think anybody could do it with a, I mean, oh, oh, big furnace, yawn. Oh, look, I have a big furnace, and I accidentally made 900 glasses today. But if, but you're using a torch, and that takes real skill. I think that takes a real artist. And I know, I know, I know I'm probably throwing shade on a huge part of the glass-making community, but fuck those guys.

• 5:06Conan O'Brien?

  I'm with you, man. I'm with you, Dan. And I say it's torch or nothing. And I'm gonna start saying that to people who say they're a glassblower. I'm gonna say furnace or torch? And if they say furnace, I'm out. I'm just gonna walk away. And then I'm gonna smash all the glass.

• 5:19Speaker 04

  I appreciate that.

• 5:20Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah. And I'm gonna drive by later and throw stones through their window. And go like, "You should get a torch!" And peel out. Really took a turn. I'm sorry. If you use a furnace out there and you make glass, you know where to find me. I'm not afraid of you with your furnace. Dan, I don't know what happened right there.

• 5:42Speaker 04

  I love your take on that.

• 5:43Conan O'Brien?

  A neurologist would say it's a brain bleed, possibly. I don't know. I'm getting faint. But this is cool. What's the name of your company?

• 5:53Speaker 04

  It's called Apex Design Glass. So I, I made that name when I was in high school for a web design business I was doing. And then I just kept, I kept it through my glassblowing business as well.

• 6:04Conan O'Brien?

  Okay. And are, is it easy for people to find you if they want some of your custom-made torch, torch-hewn bongs?

• 6:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, if you look up Apex Design, then uh, yeah, I got a website, I got an Instagram. Um, I have a good little following of people who, you know, like my glass, so it's easy to find it.

• 6:24Conan O'Brien?

  When someone buys a bong, uh, do they, how long does that bong last and do they then come back for more bongs? Uh, does a person buy multiple bongs in a year? How does it all work?

• 6:35Speaker 03

  What's a bong life?

• 6:36Speaker 01

  It's a square.

• 6:37Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I'm sorry. I want to know more of this bong culture. I took an aspirin once, I took an aspirin once in 1992 and I was taken to the hospital. So, I, I, I don't, I don't know a lot about bongs, uh, but I've seen them portrayed in film. Um, can you, can you, do you have some bongs there you could show us? I mean, I just wanna see some of these bongs. I don't wanna keep saying bongs.

• 6:59Speaker 01

  Talking bongs, you've said it so much.

• 7:01Speaker 04

  I actually sent you guys a gift.

• 7:03Conan O'Brien?

  What?

• 7:05Conan O'Brien?

  Let me see.

• 7:06Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 7:08Conan O'Brien?

  Oh my god, this thing is, I didn't know about this. Look at this. Sir, I'm not, all jo- all joking aside, you are an artist.

• 7:19Speaker 03

  Truly.

• 7:20Conan O'Brien?

  That is gorgeous. Look, he's done, I mean, yes, you've got the Conan logo, you've got, oh my god, he's got the late night.

• 7:26Speaker 03

  And we're burying the lead. There's three mouthpieces here. This is like the equivalent of sharing a milkshake except for a throuple.

• 7:34Conan O'Brien?

  At a Grateful Dead show.

• 7:36Speaker 05

  It's a Chill Chums bong, so you all can take a hit at the same time.

• 7:39Conan O'Brien?

  It's, it's for when the cast of, uh, Challengers wants to use a bong together. Um, this is beautiful. I mean, look at the, uh, the design is gorgeous. And then it's got this, this stopper has kind of a pompadour.

• 7:57Speaker 05

  It's the bowl. It's the bowl.

• 7:58Conan O'Brien?

  What's that?

• 7:59Speaker 05

  It's the bowl, right? Isn't that, it's not, it's not a stopper.

• 8:02Speaker 04

  That is the bowl, yeah.

• 8:02Speaker 01

  I don't know the official.

• 8:04Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I don't know what the name is. This isn't the stop, this is, this is the cap.

• 8:08Speaker 05

  No, that's, that's where you put the weed.

• 8:10Conan O'Brien?

  No, I know the weed goes in here, he said, lying.

• 8:13Speaker 05

  No, the weed, the weed goes into the thing you're holding.

• 8:16Speaker 01

  It goes into this bowl.

• 8:17Conan O'Brien?

  Right, so this, oh, I see, this is the bowl.

• 8:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:20Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, okay, all right, okay, Spicoli, fuck it easy.

• 8:23Speaker 03

  But go ahead and show us where the stopper is.

• 8:25Speaker 01

  I know.

• 8:26Conan O'Brien?

  And so what you do is you, you, and then when it's heated up, you, you drink.

• 8:31Speaker 01

  No!

• 8:33Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 8:35Conan O'Brien?

  Do you remember when we had Seth Rogen on the last Conan O'Brien episode? And he on camera offered me one of his marijuana cigarettes. And do you remember this?

• 8:48Speaker 01

  I do.

• 8:48Conan O'Brien?

  I put the wrong end in my mouth. And people thought, oh, Conan's doing like a bit. I wasn't doing a bit.

• 8:57Speaker 01

  It's OK.

• 8:58Conan O'Brien?

  I just didn't know.

• 8:59Speaker 01

  I know. It's OK.

• 9:00Conan O'Brien?

  It's not OK.

• 9:01Speaker 01

  I know.

• 9:01Conan O'Brien?

  I've got to start doing a lot of drugs quickly. You catch up.

• 9:05Speaker 03

  There's so much going on here.

• 9:06Conan O'Brien?

  It's beautiful. Is this a gerbil?

• 9:09Speaker 03

  What?

• 9:09Conan O'Brien?

  Those are gerbils, yeah.

• 9:10Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 9:12Speaker 03

  This is talk of gerbils.

• 9:13Conan O'Brien?

  This thing is, we need to take, Blay.

• 9:15Speaker 01

  Is that a butt plug?

• 9:17Speaker 03

  What? What? What are you kidding? How does this get in your butt with these three things in the way? What's your butt like? There's no butt plug on it.

• 9:25Conan O'Brien?

  Can I just say, this is a Rorschach blot you've given us.

• 9:27Speaker 03

  No kidding.

• 9:28Conan O'Brien?

  Everyone sees what they want to see.

• 9:29Speaker 03

  I just see a bong. You two are insane.

• 9:32Conan O'Brien?

  This thing, Blay, you have to take multiple. We will, yes. Detailed photographs of this that capture. We shall. Dan, you are, you're an artist. This thing is, and all, I mean, this is just as a work of sculpture.

• 9:46Speaker 05

  We have Conan's doodle on there. We've got the old, we have the late night moon and stars, Team Coco branding, Conan on TBS branding. It's got a big cockatoo kind of glass.

• 9:59Conan O'Brien?

  It could be a pompadour.

• 10:00Speaker 05

  It's a pompadour.

• 10:01Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 10:01Speaker 05

  And it's a three-way glass bong. So again, all three.

• 10:06Speaker 03

  That's the real question. Do you think we'll ever actually three?

• 10:09Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, we will.

• 10:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:10Conan O'Brien?

  I think we will.

• 10:11Speaker 01

  I'm down.

• 10:12Conan O'Brien?

  You know what?

• 10:12Speaker 03

  Our faces are gonna have to get this close.

• 10:15Speaker 01

  I know.

• 10:15Speaker 05

  For the next summer s'mores.

• 10:17Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, guess what? I will, we'll do it.

• 10:19Speaker 03

  Really?

• 10:20Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I'll get over myself, sure.

• 10:23Speaker 03

  You said that to me like, get over myself.

• 10:25Speaker 05

  I want to drink anything. There's no drinking when it comes to bongs. There's no drinking. You said, oh, you take a sip here. There's no.

• 10:33Conan O'Brien?

  Can I just say one thing? It also looks like it would make great coffee.

• 10:38Conan O'Brien?

  And you know what? I think it would make great coffee because I see where the little creamer would go in. This is incredible. It is absolutely. It makes me want to relive some old days. Aww, girls. Flashback to last week.

• 10:51Conan O'Brien?

  Last week in Pasadena. I was talking about the gerbil.

• 10:57Conan O'Brien?

  The gerbil filed papers, by the way.

• 11:08Conan O'Brien?

  We all have those pieces in our closet we can count on. Sona, I imagine for you it's that leather jacket I got you.

• 11:13Speaker 01

  Are you gonna do a bit?

• 11:14Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, it's a really nice leather jacket I got you once.

• 11:16Speaker 01

  I had that and then I replaced it and yes, I use it all the time.

• 11:20Conan O'Brien?

  We all have that versatile jacket, the perfect T-shirt, and those are the pieces that make getting dressed easy. And you know what I was thinking about this morning?

• 11:29Speaker 01

  What?

• 11:30Conan O'Brien?

  Quince. They do it best. They really do. I was really thinking about this.

• 11:33Speaker 01

  What a coincidence that we're doing an ad for them.

• 11:35Conan O'Brien?

  No, a co-coincidence.

• 11:37Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 11:39Conan O'Brien?

  That's why I get the big money.

• 11:41Speaker 01

  I gotta go.

• 11:41Conan O'Brien?

  Cut to very small amount of money. Quince makes elevated everyday essentials using premium materials and designs that are timeless, thoughtful, crafted, and made to be worn again and again. And when the temperature starts to drop, Quince makes it easy to build on those everyday staples with versatile layers. Layer up. That's the key. Now, Blay, you're using some Quince. That's right. I'm spending a lot of time back east in Michigan. It's getting a little colder, so I got a featherless quilted jacket in Atlas Navy, and I just feel like a different guy. I feel classy. You look like a different guy because you're well-dressed. That's right. No, I'm serious. He looks like a hobo half the time. That's true. He's right. That's true. No, they really do great stuff. Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers or go to quince.com.

• 12:25Conan O'Brien?

  Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns, now available in Canada and the UK as well.

• 12:31Speaker 01

  All right.

• 12:31Conan O'Brien?

  And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. Please do that. Say, by the way, I heard about this on Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. Oh, I didn't really ask. I just want you to know.

• 12:45Conan O'Brien?

  It's the best way to support the show.

• 12:50Conan O'Brien?

  Now Sona, clearly I'm a very important person to you.

• 12:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:53Conan O'Brien?

  Just accept the premise and we'll move ahead.

• 12:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:56Conan O'Brien?

  I'm a very important person to you. What would you get me from Macy's for the holidays?

• 13:01Speaker 01

  A vase.

• 13:03Conan O'Brien?

  No, I don't want a vase. I want something better.

• 13:05Speaker 01

  A jacket.

• 13:07Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, nice jacket. I love a nice jacket.

• 13:09Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, that jacket. Nice jacket.

• 13:10Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, so now you have to do it, because you said you would.

• 13:11Speaker 01

  Aw, man, I didn't know you were doing that.

• 13:13Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I know the holidays, I know the holidays are months away, but it's never too early, Sona, to find gifts that I will love, gifts I will wear, and surprises that make the season unforgettable for me.

• 13:25Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 13:26Conan O'Brien?

  Macy's Gift Guide makes holiday shopping easy with beauty favorites, stylish fashion, jewelry, cozy essentials, must-have toys, home upgrades, and picks for every person on your list. Coach handbags, Breville appliances, Lego UG, and more, all in one place so you can skip the scrolling and shop with confidence. Shop now in-store or online at macy's.com/giftguide.

• 13:50Conan O'Brien?

  Sona, what are some of the things in life that really get you down?

• 13:52Speaker 01

  Uh, driving?

• 13:53Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 13:54Speaker 01

  That's the first thing that popped in my head.

• 13:56Conan O'Brien?

  No, but I've seen you drive, and it's true. I'm always picking mailboxes out of your grill.

• 14:01Conan O'Brien?

  You're a creative driver. Uh, look, let's face it, just living on Earth can be a lot, right?

• 14:07Speaker 01

  It can.

• 14:07Conan O'Brien?

  I mean, oy vey, it's a lot.

• 14:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:09Conan O'Brien?

  There's gravity, there's mosquitoes, there's this, you know that they say the sun is going to, at some point, go supernova and incinerate the Earth, probably in 5 billion years?

• 14:18Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 14:18Conan O'Brien?

  But watch your diet, we might be sticking around for that.

• 14:21Speaker 01

  Aw, man.

• 14:21Conan O'Brien?

  So cosmically speaking, you've earned a break.

• 14:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:24Conan O'Brien?

  And you know where this is going? I think you do.

• 14:25Speaker 01

  No.

• 14:26Conan O'Brien?

  Pluto TV.

• 14:27Speaker 01

  Oh, right, of course, of course.

• 14:28Conan O'Brien?

  To escape all of these hassles in life, you gotta get Pluto TV. Turn off all your earthly problems and turn on the movies and shows you already love. You've seen them, but you want to see them again. They're old friends.

• 14:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:39Conan O'Brien?

  Anchorman, The Legend of Ron Burgundy, Dirty Dancing, Alias, X-Files, Pluto TV is completely free.

• 14:45Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 14:45Conan O'Brien?

  These streamers, all these things cost so much money these days. And I won't mention that when I do an ad for them, but...

• 14:52Conan O'Brien?

  No subscription, no fees, $0. And as any mathematician will tell you, 0 is one of the most profound numbers ever conceived. I was thinking about that this morning.

• 15:00Speaker 01

  Wow, that's profound.

• 15:02Conan O'Brien?

  I really wasn't. The best thing on TV are free. Escape to Pluto TV. Stream now, pay never.

• 15:12Conan O'Brien?

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• 15:56Conan O'Brien?

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• 16:24Conan O'Brien?

  So, Dan, my favorite thing is when we meet fans that are so creative. We have a lot of creative fans, and, man, you have just rocketed way to the top.

• 16:33Speaker 05

  He's also, he's also made some glasses here. We have some glasses.

• 16:36Conan O'Brien?

  These are.

• 16:37Speaker 01

  Oh, these are beautiful.

• 16:39Speaker 05

  And then he made, he made special drinking glasses for each one of you.

• 16:42Conan O'Brien?

  This is really, I'm, God.

• 16:45Speaker 05

  Sona, this is yours here. Oh.

• 16:47Conan O'Brien?

  Gorgeous.

• 16:48Speaker 05

  And this is for Conan. It's obviously the biggest one.

• 16:51Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 16:52Conan O'Brien?

  Well, you know, you gotta, oh, my God.

• 16:54Speaker 05

  And then Matt here.

• 16:55Conan O'Brien?

  The smallest.

• 16:56Speaker 05

  Yeah, these, yeah, these little goblets.

• 16:58Conan O'Brien?

  These are, these are beautiful. These are, and what kind of glass? Is this glass? Is it a type of glass? Tell us what this is.

• 17:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, this is scientific glassware, so like you'd find in really nice, you know, Pyrex glass, basically.

• 17:17Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 17:18Speaker 04

  So this can be used for, you know, it can go in the dishwasher. It's not sensitive to heat, so you can put hot stuff in there, no problem.

• 17:25Conan O'Brien?

  This is extraordinary.

• 17:26Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 17:28Conan O'Brien?

  What's this?

• 17:28Speaker 04

  It's like a Sherlock Holmes pipe.

• 17:30Speaker 01

  That is really sweet, Dan. Thank you so much.

• 17:31Speaker 05

  He made a special extra gift for Sona.

• 17:34Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, that's nice.

• 17:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, that is so, that really means a lot. Thank you very much.

• 17:37Speaker 05

  Which is a blue...

• 17:39Speaker 04

  Ah, no problem. I'm glad I could get you guys some stuff. Once I heard I was gonna be on here, I really wanted to, you know, get something made for you guys.

• 17:45Conan O'Brien?

  This is, uh, well, I'm, I'm just, I just almost said it and then realized people think I'm trying to make a lame joke, but I am blown away. I really, I wasn't trying to make a joke. I just started to say it. Uh, you should wash it first, cause it's, the way they finish it is in cyanide powder.

• 18:02Speaker 03

  Is this safe to drink out of? Dan, can I drink out of this?

• 18:05Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 18:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, you can drink out of it.

• 18:07Speaker 03

  How long did it take you to build that bong?

• 18:10Speaker 04

  Um, well, I mean, I, I got told on Thursday that, uh, you guys wanted me to be on here, and then by Saturday, I was finishing it up, and then Sunday, I did the sandblasting, and I sent it out on Monday, so...

• 18:21Conan O'Brien?

  Oh my god.

• 18:22Speaker 04

  If I'm, if I'm really, uh, you know, really wanna get something done, I can do it pretty quick.

• 18:27Conan O'Brien?

  I can't believe you put this in the mail, cause the guy who delivers my boxes chucks them over the fence.

• 18:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's incredible.

• 18:33Conan O'Brien?

  You know? Um, I'm amazed this made it in one piece. It's incredible.

• 18:38Speaker 01

  It's so beautiful.

• 18:39Conan O'Brien?

  I'm using my glass right now.

• 18:40Speaker 04

  I'm glad I made it to you guys.

• 18:43Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, did you have any question for me, Dan, other than, I mean, look at this. I think it should be a requirement now.

• 18:48Speaker 03

  I was just gonna say.

• 18:49Conan O'Brien?

  The guests...

• 18:49Speaker 03

  More fans.

• 18:50Conan O'Brien?

  More fans that send wonderful gifts. And, and I mean, they don't even have to have made it, but like, oh, I went to a store and I bought you this Paddock Philippe watch, and I'm like, hmm, yes, add it to the pile.

• 19:03Speaker 01

  This made me cry a little.

• 19:05Conan O'Brien?

  It's beautiful. It's really sweet.

• 19:07Speaker 01

  It is. It is. I know.

• 19:08Conan O'Brien?

  And also, Sona's been through a really rough time lately, and that's just, it's nice...

• 19:12Speaker 01

  And the note was very sweet, Dan.

• 19:13Conan O'Brien?

  And things are coming your way now.

• 19:14Speaker 01

  Yes, yes, yes, they are.

• 19:16Conan O'Brien?

  This is beautiful.

• 19:16Speaker 01

  Yes, they are.

• 19:17Speaker 04

  I'm glad you guys like it.

• 19:18Conan O'Brien?

  Mom is gonna be happy tonight.

• 19:19Speaker 03

  It's all fixed.

• 19:21Conan O'Brien?

  Why is mommy asleep?

• 19:24Conan O'Brien?

  It's four in the afternoon. Quiet, Charlie. Quiet, Mikey.

• 19:29Speaker 01

  Why is Step Brothers on all day?

• 19:32Conan O'Brien?

  On a loop.

• 19:35Conan O'Brien?

  Wow, Dan, I cannot thank you enough. This is, uh, this is absolutely beautiful. Really, really great. And we're gonna find a hallowed space for this. Because we have little spaces here that are like, that are becoming installations. Like, this is our Peewees Playhouse, and this is gonna have a prominent space here.

• 19:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:54Conan O'Brien?

  And, uh, we're very proud of this. And we're proud of you, proud to have you as a fan, really.

• 20:00Speaker 04

  Hey, thank you very much. And, uh, yeah, I had one quick question. I was curious, you know, uh, as a celebrity.

• 20:06Conan O'Brien?

  I'll handle this.

• 20:11Speaker 04

  Like, when I get home, I, I like to do stuff around the house. So like, I'll help my wife doing stuff, or I'll, you know, work on the backyard.

• 20:18Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 20:19Speaker 04

  And I was curious, as a celebrity, is there something that you go home and your wife's like, "I want these photos hung up on the wall"? Like, what do you do when you get home and you're asked to do something? Do you just call someone, or?

• 20:31Conan O'Brien?

  I immediately, I immediately pull rank. I say, "Do you realize who I am? And what I've accomplished"? Then I start to show her, like, a montage of things I've worked on over the years. No, uh, there are, a big thing for my wife, uh, Liza, is she, she's a very good cook, and she does the cooking, and I am, I'm not good at cooking. She really wants me to set the table. And that's important to her, that I set the table. And sometimes I kinda set the table, but she'll make a passive-aggressive comment like, "Usually people use napkins."

• 21:12Conan O'Brien?

  And then I'll go, "Oh, right." And then I'll go and get the, you know, the, go to the napkin drawer and get those. And, um, you know, "Did you put trivets down? Because I gotta put something, this is hot." And, "Okay, all right." Because sometimes I try to go real minimal, like, setting the table means just, there's two, or three, or four, if my kid's around, plates. But I, it's important for her that I do that. And then, uh, a big knock on me is that, um, I, I've, I've gotten much better at loading the dishwasher. Gotten much better. But I think for a long time, and this goes back to childhood. I had this, I just, it was a problem for me, loading the dishwasher.

• 21:54Speaker 04

  The way you do it, or just doing it in general?

• 21:56Conan O'Brien?

  When I do it, it's doing it in general, and then when I do it, it's awful. Like, I'll try and jam a large plate into the silverware tray. And my wife usually ends up redoing it. And so there was twice as many calories burned. So pity this woman, because it's like asking an ape to help you with brain surgery.

• 22:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:18Conan O'Brien?

  And then I just go rushing around the operating room, smashing into things. So, yeah, I would say it all, it's, most of my chores revolve around dinner, ways that I can help complement and facilitate the serving of dinner. And so that's a little peek into my life. And, yeah.

• 22:39Speaker 04

  Okay, awesome. Yeah, that's, that's what I wanted to hear. I was, I was curious what you, you know, if you called like a butler to come help you or something.

• 22:48Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, we had a butler once. Blay, how did you like it? Still waiting for payment. Yeah, yeah. No, no butler, not yet. That's one of those things from, from just old movies that I, I have to say, it always fascinated me. It was an idea from, that if someone had means, they would have a butler.

• 23:09Speaker 04

  Even if it was just a bachelor, there would be like a gentleman.

• 23:11Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, yeah, a gentleman there who, this is my man.

• 23:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:15Conan O'Brien?

  You know, his name's Gordon, he'll take care of everything. And he's in the corner usually polishing a glass behind like a little cool minibar.

• 23:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:25Conan O'Brien?

  No, also a valet. I always thought, wow, you know, someone who, you wake up in the morning and your clothes are all laid out, and then you have to, we travel so much for the travel shows. I'm always running around cramming things into bags and going, where, where's my extra special sunblock? And.

• 23:49Speaker 01

  What special?

• 23:51Conan O'Brien?

  It was made by the government. Anyway, uh, that's what I do. I'm, I would say, uh, it's a fascination. No, no butler and still no valet. But one day it'll all come my way. But now I've got the world's only triple bong.

• 24:06Speaker 03

  I can't believe that. I can't believe there might be a point in the future where the three of us.

• 24:10Conan O'Brien?

  We're going to.

• 24:11Speaker 03

  Our faces that close together.

• 24:13Conan O'Brien?

  We're going to, and you're gonna, that's where you're gonna see me up close and fall in love.

• 24:16Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 24:18Conan O'Brien?

  Sweet.

• 24:21Conan O'Brien?

  All right, well, Dan, thank you so much. I salute you, uh, and I love, I mean, you're an artist. You really are.

• 24:28Speaker 03

  You are.

• 24:29Conan O'Brien?

  You're a terrific artist and, uh, even though we are not related, uh, you're a young lad, so I'm allowed to say I'm proud of you. I really am. I'm, I'm glad when I see, I, I really do get energized when I meet all these young people that can kick ass and do all these amazing things. You're a craftsman, you're out there killing it. So thank you so much and best of luck with your company, uh, Apex.

• 24:50Speaker 01

  Apex.

• 24:51Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, Apex Design, yeah. Apex.

• 24:52Speaker 03

  A.P.I.X.

• 24:53Speaker 01

  It's right here.

• 24:54Speaker 03

  Cheers, Dan.

• 24:55Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, there it is. I was, I was distracted by my own face. Thank you guys so much.

• 24:58Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 24:58Conan O'Brien?

  All right, shout out to Apex. I can't wait to see you guys use that. All right, you will, you will. All right, take care, Dan. All right, thank you, guys.

• 25:07Speaker 03

  Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

• 25:24Speaker 03

  Supervising producer, Aaron Blair. Associate talent producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate producers, Sean Dougherty and Lisa Berman. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm.com/conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are down.

• 25:53Speaker 06

  Hey, it's me, Teddy Swims. You hear that? That's life. So go grab it. Grab your old friends, grab new friends, grab a White Claw. Grab flavor for everyone in your group. Grab music, laughter, and moments you'll never forget. You'll never regret it.

• 26:13Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, hey, man.

• 26:14Speaker 06

  Grab new friends, grab old friends, grab life. By the glow. White Claw. Please drink responsibly. White Claw Seltzer Works, Chicago, Illinois.

• 26:24Conan O'Brien?

  When you hear Alka Seltzer, you'll probably think heartburn, right? Yep. Well, did you know Alka Seltzer has a line of cold and flu medications known as Alka Seltzer Cold? Ooh. Did you know that, David? No, but I feel like we need it. Why didn't you know that, David? I know you expect me to know everything. I knew this. Did you? Yeah, I've tried it, it's really good. And I like that fizzy, fizzy, fizzy when you drop the Alka Seltzer Cold into the water. You do, yeah. Alka Seltzer Cold, fast dissolves tablets are designed to deliver cold and flu relief, fast! Just drop the two tablets in water and hear those bubbles bursting into action, ready to work faster than pills. Bubbles faster than pills. Pills take time to dissolve, not bubbles. Next time a cold or flu strikes, quick! Alka Seltzer Cold, nothing works faster for cold and flu symptom relief.

• 27:09Conan O'Brien?

  Among oral products. Use as directed.