Ep 612 - Night Gator (feat. Charles Blyzniuk)

Support the D. A. W. G. Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support Charles by Listening to 'Worship Hour' on KPISS Radio IG @theblyzard Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Lemaire Lee Live @ https://lemairelee.fun/ Go See Shawn Gardini Live if you want @ https://www.shawngardini.com/live y0o0o0o. Fambly ep on a Friyay. TGIF. We got Blizzy in town. We got the big kahuna. We got Cusky. What else do you want. Hot cast. New incest / incense. Hope you all had a good week. Please enjoy. God Bless. Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/DRENCHED and use code DRENCHED and get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup! This video is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/MSSP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Wow, wow, Wes.

• 0:02Matt McCusker?

  Ah dude, I'm loving them, man.

• 0:04Speaker 00

  I've come around.

• 0:05Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 0:06Speaker 00

  I was against incense. I thought it was for.

• 0:07Matt McCusker?

  Yo, oh, yo.

• 0:09Speaker 00

  I thought it was for sluts and minorities.

• 0:11Matt McCusker?

  You said incest. You said incest.

• 0:13Speaker 00

  Incense.

• 0:16Speaker 00

  I was against incense.

• 0:17Matt McCusker?

  Hey, still on the record.

• 0:18Speaker 00

  Now I'm for it.

• 0:19Matt McCusker?

  You're on the right side.

• 0:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 0:20Speaker 02

  You see the right video.

• 0:22Speaker 00

  Incense.

• 0:23Matt McCusker?

  Sluts, sluts and minorities.

• 0:27Speaker 00

  I thought incense was for sluts and minorities.

• 0:30Matt McCusker?

  That's so funny.

• 0:31Speaker 00

  Now I know I can enjoy it as well.

• 0:33Matt McCusker?

  There you go.

• 0:36Speaker 02

  I literally brought inc- I'll give them to you.

• 0:38Matt McCusker?

  You brought them incense?

• 0:39Speaker 02

  I brought, yeah, I brought the incense sticks.

• 0:42Matt McCusker?

  That's cool. I'm big on it. My wife hates it. I gotta use it in my office. My wife.

• 0:45Speaker 02

  Oh, you'll like it. Oh, interesting.

• 0:47Matt McCusker?

  Hole in the theory. Hates incense. She's type A, though. Incense, if you're type A, incense is not for you.

• 0:54Speaker 00

  It's not for me.

• 0:54Matt McCusker?

  She's type A.

• 0:55Speaker 00

  It's for dopers.

• 0:56Matt McCusker?

  It's for type B sluts and minorities.

• 0:58Speaker 02

  That's true. Yeah, people who have to wait until the thing burns entirely.

• 1:04Speaker 00

  I've never gone into a white guy's house.

• 1:07Matt McCusker?

  Well, that's.

• 1:08Speaker 00

  There's incense. Unless.

• 1:09Speaker 02

  Sweep.

• 1:10Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, say, it's a dober. It's a dober thing. Doper thing, for sure.

• 1:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:15Matt McCusker?

  Doper thing. Muslims, oil, they go direct to the body. The oils.

• 1:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, it is roll on.

• 1:20Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I would, I might get into Muslim oils, honestly.

• 1:23Speaker 02

  Start selling them.

• 1:24Matt McCusker?

  It's a nice, quiet level up your fly.

• 1:26Speaker 02

  You should start selling them at the mothership.

• 1:32Speaker 02

  Poppy, poppy.

• 1:34Matt McCusker?

  That might be my merch table, Muslim oils. I'll come out after a show and be like, my friend, let me see your. Oh, my friend.

• 1:43Speaker 00

  Smells so good.

• 1:44Matt McCusker?

  That'd be nice. That'd be nice to get like a, um, for the merch table, having a slice of like, an Indian city where it's just clamored. You come walking out.

• 1:52Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:53Matt McCusker?

  It's just like you come out to like a New Delhi street where it's just clamoring.

• 1:57Speaker 02

  You sharpen people's knives.

• 1:58Matt McCusker?

  People are grabbing you by the wrist, like, come with me, come here, my friend, please. Like, tours the pyramids, all kinds of crazy shit.

• 2:05Speaker 00

  That video pissed me off so much yesterday.

• 2:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, keep laughing.

• 2:09Speaker 00

  Fucking just guys in a hole grinding plastic up.

• 2:13Speaker 00

  For fucking 12 hours a day for the rest of their lives.

• 2:15Speaker 02

  They're like, is it boring? The guy's like, no.

• 2:18Speaker 00

  Yeah, one guy's like, nah, I love this shit.

• 2:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you're literally sitting on your heels for 12 hours grinding plastic. That was crazy. I want to know who's the fat cat that buys up all that plastic.

• 2:28Speaker 00

  That cat was the guy with the computer.

• 2:29Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:30Speaker 02

  True.

• 2:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:31Speaker 02

  He makes like.

• 2:33Speaker 00

  Manager butt even transcends the world. If you're the manager, no matter where you are, you are getting a button down, khakis, gelled hair, fat ass.

• 2:43Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, man, it's crazy. The pleated khakis are for the managerial class, man.

• 2:48Speaker 00

  He did it.

• 2:48Matt McCusker?

  Every manager I've ever worked on are fat ass, bro, juicy ass on thick taw. It don't matter, woman or man. You can be a man. If you're a man, you start eventually, you start like transing into a woman's figure. It's crazy.

• 2:59Speaker 00

  It's a full feminine figure.

• 3:01Matt McCusker?

  It's crazy, dude.

• 3:02Speaker 00

  Cause I think it's, it is a very feminine job.

• 3:05Matt McCusker?

  A manager.

• 3:05Speaker 00

  You know what I mean? To be like, did you do that?

• 3:08Speaker 00

  Well, I don't want to have to do this. I don't want to have to talk to you again, but I will tell on you if you don't get that done. You go, you fucking bitch.

• 3:16Matt McCusker?

  Supporting to a guy above you.

• 3:18Speaker 00

  It's just a little bitch.

• 3:20Matt McCusker?

  I would, I'd rather be minion than manager. I either want to be minion or boss. I don't want to be manager. Manager sucks. Minion rules. If you're the lowest guy at the job.

• 3:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, I do like minions.

• 3:30Matt McCusker?

  That's all I've ever done.

• 3:31Speaker 02

  You know what?

• 3:31Matt McCusker?

  It rules.

• 3:32Speaker 00

  That's cause you're working for the boss.

• 3:34Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 3:34Speaker 00

  And you're like, the manager's a fucking bitch.

• 3:36Speaker 02

  Yeah. He's got a nice butt.

• 3:38Speaker 00

  Boys.

• 3:39Speaker 02

  But he sucks.

• 3:40Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 3:40Speaker 02

  But he does have a nice ass.

• 3:42Matt McCusker?

  The boss loves his minions. I've seen that on display so many times.

• 3:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:47Matt McCusker?

  I swear to God, the boss, the minions are like the closest, the managers, dude. And anytime someone becomes manager, every minion's like, dude, fuck that guy.

• 3:55Speaker 00

  He was a minion, dude.

• 3:56Matt McCusker?

  Fuck that guy.

• 3:58Speaker 00

  That's when they transform.

• 3:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 4:00Speaker 00

  They start going, nobody likes me. Everyone's against me. I'm going to tell on you. You guys have been mean to me since I started this.

• 4:08Matt McCusker?

  I did like, when I worked for an electrician, it was my friend's uncle. And I was, I was a, I got a lot of hate because I was a prized minion. I got to drive him around every day. It was awesome. I would just, I was like his chauffeur, basically. And every now and again, he'd be like, yo, you want to go pop up on him, see what they're doing? And he would do like walk-ups on jobs. Dude, you would catch the minions would be like laying down and fucking around. He'd be like, what the fuck are you guys doing? They're like, oh, fuck, we're just chilling for a second here. Dude, it was, it's the best.

• 4:35Speaker 02

  You could do it outside.

• 4:36Speaker 00

  I, no, they are totally unbothered.

• 4:40Speaker 00

  The minions working on the street right now.

• 4:42Matt McCusker?

  I mean.

• 4:43Speaker 00

  They lay, they lay under the tree. Every time I'm out there, there's ten guys taking a nap in my front yard.

• 4:49Matt McCusker?

  But if you ran up and I'm like, what are you doing? They would go, wah!

• 4:52Speaker 00

  I don't think, dude, these are strong.

• 4:55Matt McCusker?

  They're strong lads for sure, but if you catch a lad in a, a lad on a nap outside and a white guy would just walk up on him like, hey! They're gonna go, they're gonna assume it's time, it's time to boogie.

• 5:05Speaker 00

  I would have to put on pleated khakis.

• 5:08Speaker 00

  If I walk out like this.

• 5:09Matt McCusker?

  There's a blue t-shirt.

• 5:10Speaker 00

  There's a fucking minion talking to me.

• 5:13Speaker 00

  It's a white minion, the lowest form of minion.

• 5:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, khakis, uh, belt clip, phone.

• 5:20Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. You gotta roll by.

• 5:23Speaker 00

  Thirsting out of the fucking pants, just.

• 5:25Speaker 02

  It's the ass.

• 5:26Speaker 00

  You have not bought new pants, but you gained forty pounds.

• 5:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:29Speaker 00

  Just in your ass and hips. You are a manager.

• 5:33Matt McCusker?

  It's crazy.

• 5:33Speaker 00

  It's wild.

• 5:34Speaker 02

  Damn, you think you get a BBL just to move up?

• 5:37Matt McCusker?

  Yo.

• 5:38Speaker 02

  Move up the corner ladder.

• 5:40Speaker 00

  You got BBL, your boss would start noticing, be like, this guy's got the makings of a true manager.

• 5:44Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I'm gonna go to a plastic surgeon and be like, I just wanna look like a Dairy Queen manager. Let me see. I need to parashake me up.

• 5:53Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I was, me and Blizz were having a laugh about, uh. I shouldn't even talk.

• 5:58Speaker 00

  Let me hear.

• 6:00Matt McCusker?

  This episode is brought to you by PrizePicks. The regular season's done and the NBA playoffs are here. Time to get in on the action with PrizePicks, a preferred partner of the NBA.

• 6:11Speaker 00

  NBA.

• 6:11Matt McCusker?

  N, space, B, space, A. Download the PrizePicks app today and use code DRENCH to get fifty dollars in lineups after you play your first five dollar lineup. And during the playoff, during the playoffs, make a five dollar lineup with a live NBA pick for a shot at the Do It Live Sweepstakes trip to the NBA Finals.

• 6:31Speaker 02

  That's a rough one, man.

• 6:32Matt McCusker?

  Whoa! More info can be found on the PrizePicks promos board. PrizePicks, a preferred partner of the NBA.

• 6:41Speaker 00

  He likes. I'll give it, yeah. Supervision kink is nice.

• 6:45Speaker 02

  I actually don't, yeah.

• 6:46Speaker 00

  Hanging out with a girl and parents.

• 6:47Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 6:48Speaker 00

  And then you get to go, bro, it's just you and me in the room tonight. The parents are gone.

• 6:52Speaker 02

  When I, yeah, see, everyone just.

• 6:55Matt McCusker?

  He's a very private man. I shouldn't have said, as soon as I said, I'm like, oh shit, I forgot.

• 6:58Speaker 02

  When I was texting you about it, uh, cause he was making me laugh, I was like. It was making me laugh, but I'm actually excited by it. Kind of like it.

• 7:08Speaker 00

  I'm also.

• 7:08Matt McCusker?

  K is nice.

• 7:09Speaker 02

  It's, it's exciting if you stay with, you know.

• 7:13Speaker 00

  Relatives?

• 7:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, you stay with like relatives.

• 7:15Speaker 00

  Their family or your family.

• 7:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:16Speaker 00

  Quiet sex, which is like, damn, this is great. Normally she'd be screaming from what I was like. But now we have to be quiet. So there's no pressure on me for this dead silent sex.

• 7:27Speaker 02

  Now I scream.

• 7:29Speaker 00

  Mom! Dad, wake up, fuck! Dad, I'm coming! Dad!

• 7:36Speaker 02

  Punching.

• 7:37Speaker 00

  Mom, can I have a glass of water? I'm really thirsty. Mom, I've been crusting pussy for 14 minutes. Really thirsty. That's a good run. 14 is a good run.

• 7:47Matt McCusker?

  14 is solid, bro. I'm on, I'm back on my no porn, not even fa, it's not even, I'm not even trying to. I'm just being like, I'm just not interested in the porn, not interested in fapping and uh, I'm, I'm coming up on that ovulation cycle. So I'm like, yo, it's about to be on.

• 8:03Speaker 02

  You're about to.

• 8:03Matt McCusker?

  We're just game, we're, we're game planning. She's like, she actually said this to me this morning. She's like, I know you like a head job before that way you last longer. And I'm like, bro, I'm down for whatever.

• 8:13Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 8:14Matt McCusker?

  Otherwise you wait, wait, wait. And then it's like, it's the juiciest ever.

• 8:18Speaker 00

  Quick talk.

• 8:18Matt McCusker?

  It's a quick talk.

• 8:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:21Matt McCusker?

  So I'm about to.

• 8:21Speaker 00

  By the way, I'm a big fan of a quick talk. I don't give a fuck about you at all. That was fucking wonderful.

• 8:28Matt McCusker?

  Now I'm tired. I gotta stay, I want to stay up in it for a minute, bro.

• 8:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:33Matt McCusker?

  Give me a couple minutes. I don't need that long.

• 8:35Speaker 00

  A couple minutes is nice, but then it starts to get a little too long. You go, fuck, I'm starting to get tired.

• 8:40Speaker 00

  I'm getting too tired to even fucking do it now.

• 8:43Matt McCusker?

  Nah, I've been planking. When you're, when you're planking, I've been planking regularly. I'm excited to show off. There's no other, there's no other way you can show that off.

• 8:52Speaker 00

  Celebrating a touchdown.

• 8:56Matt McCusker?

  That's crazy. Did you ever see the guy on TikTok who goes like this and goes mm and then like does different arm movements?

• 9:03Speaker 02

  No.

• 9:03Matt McCusker?

  Maybe. There's a guy, you know what I'm talking about? There's a viral trend.

• 9:07Speaker 02

  Put your arms straight up in the air.

• 9:09Matt McCusker?

  There's a viral trend of like divorced 50 year old guys who want to show women how sick they are in terms of like fucking.

• 9:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:15Matt McCusker?

  So they do a thing where they go like this, dip the pelvis, pop, lift one arm, lift one arm. And it's just them like up and down. They'll do it like a 7-Eleven aisle. It's so funny.

• 9:24Speaker 02

  Oh, I've actually, okay, I have seen that.

• 9:26Speaker 00

  I thought you were talking about the guys who put the camera here, like you're fucking them. You ever see that one? It's great. They lay a camera down.

• 9:33Matt McCusker?

  Oh, no.

• 9:34Speaker 00

  Again, 50 year old, 40 year old divorced guys. I saw one where the guy starts by going.

• 9:39Matt McCusker?

  Oh, no, no.

• 9:42Speaker 00

  It's so funny.

• 9:43Matt McCusker?

  But.

• 9:43Speaker 00

  I immediately send it to Gabe Davis and Billy.

• 9:47Speaker 00

  Gabe and Billy are getting those.

• 9:48Speaker 02

  And then you look at the comments and it's literally like 40 year old women like across the country. Like, I love this.

• 9:54Matt McCusker?

  I get so sad when I see women sending the comments.

• 9:57Speaker 00

  Just guys fucking.

• 9:59Speaker 02

  Did you see the one I saw where the guy's, his tongue's gone crazy. It's like.

• 10:04Matt McCusker?

  Did you just send that recently?

• 10:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, I did.

• 10:06Matt McCusker?

  I gotta check that out. I haven't seen the gram. He's, he's just showing them, he's showing them what they can do.

• 10:10Speaker 02

  He's got a crazy tongue game. Pause.

• 10:16Matt McCusker?

  Let me see, let me see.

• 10:18Matt McCusker?

  Yo, what? No, no.

• 10:23Matt McCusker?

  Why does he have a towel on his head?

• 10:24Speaker 00

  He's sweating under that, dude.

• 10:27Speaker 02

  Goatee, full, the goatee is porno.

• 10:32Matt McCusker?

  Oh, no.

• 10:32Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 10:35Matt McCusker?

  I didn't know that was a thing.

• 10:36Speaker 00

  I'm in LA, 47 years old, eight inch.

• 10:40Matt McCusker?

  Oh, okay.

• 10:42Matt McCusker?

  Eight inches, thick.

• 10:44Speaker 02

  I like how that guy's coming back.

• 10:46Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I like how people are impersonating him in gas stations.

• 10:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, that's nice.

• 10:51Matt McCusker?

  My daughter just died last year. She killed herself.

• 10:53Speaker 00

  She was eight years old. She was faster than me.

• 10:57Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's fun. It's fun. I had a, uh, I don't know why this tickled me the other day and I've done this on accident before, but I was thinking about the, I don't know if you've ever done the night gator to a woman? When you take a dump before bedtime and you forget to flush it? And all night she's getting up and she takes her little peas and she doesn't know the gator's lurking. Until, until the morning time and she confronts the gator and goes, "Oh my God!" You go, "Oh shit, my bad. I was reading a good book. I forgot to flush." I left the night, I left the night gator.

• 11:27Speaker 00

  How are you forgetting to flush?

• 11:30Speaker 02

  If you're there long enough, you might forget sometimes.

• 11:32Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I'm reading, I'm always there long as hell, dude.

• 11:34Speaker 00

  Never forget to flush.

• 11:36Matt McCusker?

  I've forgotten, dude. I forgot. If I get, if I'm like deep in my phone or in like a book, I'll like, I'll just get up and if something happens, like, oh, let me go. My kid might wake up, I'll run in.

• 11:44Speaker 00

  I'm terrified of the night gator.

• 11:45Matt McCusker?

  Bro.

• 11:46Speaker 00

  I'll leave. I'm like, if a girl is with me, I'm like, holy shit, did I forget to flush? For some reason, I'm like, I think there's a turd in the hotel toilet.

• 11:57Matt McCusker?

  They don't even know it's under them all night.

• 11:58Speaker 00

  It's under, yeah.

• 12:00Matt McCusker?

  They're peeing on the gator all night.

• 12:01Speaker 00

  Sneaking his head out underneath some toilet paper and just waiting.

• 12:07Matt McCusker?

  I was, I almost left the gator on her the other night and I was like, oh shit.

• 12:10Speaker 00

  You had to go back in and get the gator.

• 12:12Matt McCusker?

  I had to put the gator down.

• 12:13Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:15Speaker 02

  No, no, that's not your alarm. It's actually not the morning yet.

• 12:18Matt McCusker?

  Nothing sours a woman's mood. First thing in the morning, they're confronting the gator first. Just in the morning, the twilight.

• 12:25Speaker 00

  But a lady, a lady will leave a little road rash for you. Nothing pisses me off more than seeing a lady's fucking road rash. You go, dude, stop taking giant shits. Clean that. I don't want to see that.

• 12:38Matt McCusker?

  The road rash?

• 12:39Speaker 02

  Damn. Yeah.

• 12:41Matt McCusker?

  Oh dude.

• 12:43Speaker 00

  Tie your marks.

• 12:46Matt McCusker?

  I had a fucked up, I had gas last night and I was just setting them off. I literally woke up at one point, I did like a complete, like a, a fart that if you videoed it, would have maybe gotten a million views on it. It was so loud, so long and so powerful. I did it in my sleep, then woke up to my wife like, "Ah!" And I was like, "Oh fuck." And I had felt the velocity and I was like, "Yo, I'm sorry about that. That's really bad." It was real like, "Brrrr!" It was foghorn.

• 13:14Speaker 02

  I wish your O ring would track that.

• 13:17Matt McCusker?

  I know.

• 13:18Speaker 02

  Like a fart. Yeah.

• 13:20Matt McCusker?

  Farts?

• 13:20Speaker 00

  I would get one if they did that.

• 13:21Matt McCusker?

  That'd be awesome. You probably have to put it, if you've got like a fart B hole or O ring for the B hole. How many farts a day? How hot are they?

• 13:28Speaker 00

  You could feel me tense.

• 13:28Speaker 02

  Wear an O but.

• 13:29Speaker 00

  Or it'd be like your blood, your blood pressure spiked hard as shit for one second. Just me going.

• 13:34Matt McCusker?

  Did you fart? You just get an app. It's like, you get a message like, let it out, brother. I'm tracking her O ring. She's in a deep sleep. You're, you're safe to fart.

• 13:42Speaker 02

  Yeah. Oh, that's nice.

• 13:44Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 13:44Speaker 02

  You can like, like link them up.

• 13:46Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I, I have a thing holding them in, man. It's gotta be bad for you.

• 13:50Speaker 00

  Probably.

• 13:51Matt McCusker?

  It's gotta, there's no way. What the fuck happens to it?

• 13:54Speaker 02

  Well, it's just, I mean, immediately it's just discomfort, you know?

• 13:57Matt McCusker?

  It's discomfort, but it's like, where does it go? You fart? I, I've, dude, there's not a lot of science on farts at all. I've, I wanted like the encyclopedia on farts. I've searched for it. All I found was that book I showed you guys about a guy. Wrote about almost how he almost shit himself a bunch of times. That's it. The book, he, he actually thanked us. That book did really well.

• 14:16Speaker 02

  It's awesome.

• 14:16Speaker 00

  Nice.

• 14:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 14:17Speaker 02

  You might, I mean, you just step into that, step into that hole.

• 14:20Speaker 00

  Yeah, well, you start doing it.

• 14:22Matt McCusker?

  I get it. I guess I gotta find someone I can start studying. I, I bug professors every now and again, like to, to do stuff.

• 14:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, come on here and chat.

• 14:28Speaker 02

  Just go outside and get one of these guys who's worked on the road.

• 14:30Matt McCusker?

  True. Get a fart shaman.

• 14:33Speaker 00

  They would let you know, dude.

• 14:34Matt McCusker?

  Take me into the tent with them.

• 14:38Speaker 02

  I'll be riding in your steamroller with you all day.

• 14:43Speaker 00

  Be great. Just to be like fart. How do you fart? Like fart?

• 14:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Now we're speaking the same language.

• 14:56Speaker 00

  So fart?

• 15:00Matt McCusker?

  I wanna, I wanna gas up so hard and then hit like an ayahuasca ceremony and just fart. Just not even drink.

• 15:07Speaker 00

  Don't even drink.

• 15:07Matt McCusker?

  Just like.

• 15:09Speaker 00

  Scare. Everyone's like.

• 15:12Speaker 02

  People would have like life faltering.

• 15:15Speaker 00

  Ruin their lives.

• 15:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:17Matt McCusker?

  Bird just came back. Amazing.

• 15:18Speaker 00

  The rent's chilling, dude.

• 15:20Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, there's people in there like, oh, my dad.

• 15:25Speaker 02

  And then you're, yeah, the white, you wear like the all white, but it's a tall tee, an extra tall tee.

• 15:32Matt McCusker?

  But yeah, that's a, I've said it before, those ayahuasca ceremonies kind of freak me out, man. A lot of people who do that, they go and do it like 50 more times and you're like, yo, bro. Well, it's good.

• 15:43Speaker 02

  Right.

• 15:44Matt McCusker?

  50?

• 15:45Speaker 02

  I know.

• 15:45Matt McCusker?

  It's a lot.

• 15:46Speaker 02

  I feel like, aren't you just supposed to do it like a couple of ti- if you actually get into it? Aren't you supposed to do it a couple of times?

• 15:52Matt McCusker?

  I would think, if you did something that crazy, you wouldn't do it 50 more times.

• 15:56Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 15:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna do it.

• 15:58Matt McCusker?

  No, I don't know. I'll say that stuff for like when I'm dying, that's gonna be fired out, you know?

• 16:02Speaker 00

  Although that might blow dick.

• 16:04Matt McCusker?

  I mean, you're dying, what the fuck?

• 16:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, I know. And then you're gonna really realize it's probably gonna be really scary.

• 16:09Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 16:10Speaker 00

  You could either accept it or it's gonna be fucking horrific.

• 16:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 16:13Speaker 00

  I don't know.

• 16:14Matt McCusker?

  I don't know. I mean, but then it's like, I'm kind of terrified, like just dying in sweatpants, watching TV is like fucking scary too.

• 16:21Speaker 00

  That's coming.

• 16:23Speaker 00

  That's coming. Comes for us all.

• 16:25Matt McCusker?

  You gotta do the waska, dude. So at least you'll be like, oh, whoa.

• 16:29Speaker 00

  You know, oh shit, I'm gonna die in sweatpants.

• 16:32Speaker 00

  And then while you're dying in sweatpants, you're gonna be like, I remember when I went to South America, just to know that I was gonna do this. What was the point of that fucking trip?

• 16:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I remember I had to go with my dad. My dad's friend was dying. He like sent us all, like, go hang with him. We were just, I literally just swept, he actually would do tighty whities. He was just wasting dude away.

• 16:50Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 16:51Matt McCusker?

  Like he had like some sort of cancer and he would just watch westerns with him. And he would just sit there and be like, the whole time. He was, the dude fucking ruled.

• 16:58Speaker 02

  I mean, yeah, it sounds nice.

• 16:59Matt McCusker?

  He went out like a man, dude. Just westerns in his tighty whities till the last day.

• 17:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:04Matt McCusker?

  Me and my brother would make him weed coconut oil and just like bring it to him.

• 17:06Speaker 02

  That's nice.

• 17:07Matt McCusker?

  My dad would go make some of that shit, you know, oil you make, bring it to Frank.

• 17:12Matt McCusker?

  He would just munch, he would just fucking munch weed coconut oil, watch Clint Eastwood do his thing, final days.

• 17:19Speaker 02

  I like that.

• 17:19Matt McCusker?

  That's a man.

• 17:19Speaker 00

  That's a good way to go.

• 17:20Matt McCusker?

  That's a sick way to go.

• 17:21Speaker 02

  Doesn't even bother to put pants on.

• 17:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, just sit there. No, hell no, dude. It was awesome.

• 17:25Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 17:26Matt McCusker?

  It was scary. The first time I went to his house, when he like peeked through the blinds, I was like, ew.

• 17:30Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. Looks like, um, what's it called? The guy from the first season of True Detective.

• 17:37Speaker 00

  Gas mask on.

• 17:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

• 17:42Speaker 00

  It was chill though.

• 17:43Speaker 02

  I, uh, I'm still thinking about.

• 17:47Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by Quince.

• 17:49Matt McCusker?

  Nice.

• 17:50Speaker 00

  What do you know about Quince?

• 17:51Matt McCusker?

  I love Quince. I'll be, I'll be honest. They sent me the stuff and I, their boxers, they use like cot, like regular materials, not a lot of polyesters, natural fibers. I'm a, I'm a big fan.

• 18:02Speaker 00

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• 18:27Matt McCusker?

  It's pretty crazy.

• 18:28Speaker 00

  That's a bargain.

• 18:29Matt McCusker?

  Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com, get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks you where you heard about them, let them know it was Matt and Shane's secret podcast. It's the best way to support the show.

• 18:53Speaker 02

  We can edit that. I just think I would just personally, getting kidnapped as an adult is really funny to me.

• 19:00Matt McCusker?

  I, I had another loose relative that was involved in a pizza guy, strong arm robbery plot who got eventually caught. He was the Batman. He would wield the bat on the pizza.

• 19:11Speaker 00

  The Donatos, bro.

• 19:12Matt McCusker?

  The Donatos would roll up.

• 19:13Speaker 00

  He's gonna call the Donatos.

• 19:14Matt McCusker?

  Donatos would roll up and one of these dudes I know would have the bat, the Louisville ready. Like, give me all your money on you, right? And the Zoh, of course. They had a nice little thing going and they got busted eventually.

• 19:24Speaker 00

  They kept bonking the drivers.

• 19:25Matt McCusker?

  They bonking. Well, they're threatening to bonk.

• 19:27Speaker 00

  Threatening the bonk.

• 19:27Matt McCusker?

  I don't think they ever bonked. But they're gonna yabba dabba doo the driver.

• 19:31Speaker 00

  Hit him with it.

• 19:33Matt McCusker?

  Such a, it's a sick hustle.

• 19:35Speaker 02

  It, we had.

• 19:36Speaker 00

  Weren't you held at Club Point?

• 19:37Matt McCusker?

  I was on the Club Point. Hey, man, I was.

• 19:39Speaker 00

  That's a prehistoric, that's a primal fear.

• 19:41Matt McCusker?

  Dude, it was crazy. I'll be honest, at Club Point, I was just kinda like, guys, I'll leave. Like, you don't have to do this.

• 19:46Speaker 00

  Also, that's a shitty squad. If they're robbing people with the clubs, you guys are definitely gonna do it. You guys will do it.

• 19:53Matt McCusker?

  The club guy, it's like, there's like six of you. I mean, I guess you just beat my ass. It'd be worse if all six of you beat my ass. There's just six guys and one guy at the club like, we'll fucking bash your brain in.

• 20:04Matt McCusker?

  Out my home, my house was literally like two blocks away. I was like, can I just walk home, guys? I'm done.

• 20:08Speaker 02

  It's like a T-ball.

• 20:09Matt McCusker?

  Today's not my day.

• 20:10Speaker 02

  That, yeah.

• 20:11Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that sucked. That sucked though, just sitting in West Philly for like an hour by myself in a really bad neighborhood being like, should be coming back with these Percocets. I really don't.

• 20:19Speaker 00

  It was like a Street Fighter level though, or like a Double Dragons. Just walk out like a shitty town, a guy with a, six bad guys with sleeveless.

• 20:27Matt McCusker?

  I needed one of my friends to stand back to back to me and do a spin kick so we could knock him down. But yeah, that was a, that sucked. The one time I, I remember I took way too much mushrooms in college and I like walked into like a really fucked up area of West Philly to get out of my house and just seeing like the dilapidated houses and it was, I was like, ah, it was, it was a lot.

• 20:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:48Matt McCusker?

  It's really scary. It's really menacing and scary.

• 20:50Speaker 00

  You still at West Philly Bowl?

• 20:51Speaker 02

  Still in West Philly. It still looks.

• 20:55Speaker 00

  Moving from north to West Philly is hilarious. This neighborhood is a little dangerous. I'm gonna, where, where else is nice?

• 21:02Speaker 02

  Immediately.

• 21:04Speaker 00

  There he is.

• 21:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, immediately they find me.

• 21:06Matt McCusker?

  When was the last time you were victimized? Was it just the bike theft?

• 21:10Speaker 02

  It's the bike theft.

• 21:11Matt McCusker?

  How did the bike theft go down? Was that a, he came up on one bike?

• 21:14Speaker 02

  He came up on the city bike.

• 21:16Matt McCusker?

  Oh, it was the city bike?

• 21:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, or like whatever the Philly version was. Came up on the city bike, uh, and like.

• 21:25Matt McCusker?

  Cut you off.

• 21:25Speaker 00

  Debound you.

• 21:26Speaker 02

  It was like a commandeering. It was, it was a pirate. It was actually a pirate.

• 21:31Speaker 00

  It was Blackbeard.

• 21:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:33Speaker 00

  It was really Blackbeard.

• 21:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, and then, uh.

• 21:38Matt McCusker?

  He pulled up on you, snagged your bike?

• 21:40Speaker 02

  Pulled up on me, took the bike.

• 21:42Matt McCusker?

  Did he just like grab it real quick? Like, yo, give me that?

• 21:45Speaker 02

  No, he was like, he first started trying to ask me like how much, he was like, how much did you pay for the bike? And I was like, all right, I gotta go.

• 21:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 21:53Speaker 02

  I was like, I'm not gonna.

• 21:54Matt McCusker?

  He's just doing like Kelly Blue Book for bikes?

• 21:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:56Matt McCusker?

  Just curious, just curious.

• 21:57Speaker 00

  It turns out it's free.

• 21:59Speaker 02

  For you? For you, my friend?

• 22:01Speaker 00

  This is zero. She hop off there.

• 22:04Matt McCusker?

  He goes, how much?

• 22:05Speaker 00

  He literally become a fucking Muslim oil salesman.

• 22:08Matt McCusker?

  For you, my friend?

• 22:10Speaker 00

  Take it, the bike is free for you. I love city bike.

• 22:16Speaker 02

  That was a nice thing. After, after he took my bike.

• 22:19Matt McCusker?

  You had the city bike?

• 22:20Speaker 02

  He pointed to the city bike and he was like, you can have that one. I was like, alright.

• 22:23Matt McCusker?

  Well, I can't have that one.

• 22:24Speaker 02

  I did ride that home.

• 22:25Matt McCusker?

  That's nice. That's, that was kinda chill if I'm not a big yo.

• 22:29Speaker 02

  It was, it was like thoughtful enough to be like, you got wheels, still.

• 22:34Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Yeah, yeah, don't, don't get down on yourself. You still have wheels for a little bit.

• 22:38Speaker 02

  Right. There was a guy, look, I didn't get, nothing happened, but there was a guy last night that was like really power walking in my direction.

• 22:47Matt McCusker?

  What? Where were you?

• 22:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, true.

• 22:48Speaker 02

  I was walking on Congress Avenue. For like a while. It's my fault.

• 22:53Speaker 00

  If you come here. It's just gonna be North Philly, West Philly, Austin. You're gonna be getting chased by pirates. The pirates down here are gonna chase you.

• 23:03Speaker 02

  This guy was like, one of the, he was like the, you remember those two guys from Pirates of the Caribbean who were like trying to trick? He was like, he was so dirty and shirtless.

• 23:13Matt McCusker?

  He was coming for you.

• 23:14Speaker 02

  He was coming for you. He was coming for everybody. He was just like on a mission. And I, I just happened to have like headphones in and just, you know, surprise.

• 23:21Matt McCusker?

  Took off.

• 23:22Speaker 02

  Popped up on me.

• 23:23Matt McCusker?

  Oh no.

• 23:24Speaker 02

  But, he, he had other stuff to do.

• 23:27Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 23:28Speaker 02

  He like, he got by me quick. I was like a temporary stop.

• 23:32Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah. I've been watching too. I've, I watch this one guy's videos where it's just, they all start with him being like, and he hits someone like 10 times. He did one where he took a key and like hit a metal plate. Someone kinda popped up on me the other day, had my key. I, I was like, dude, is this my chance to fucking do it?

• 23:46Speaker 00

  Would you hit him with the John Wick combo?

• 23:48Matt McCusker?

  Just, I was going to, but he didn't, he didn't fucking, he just kept moving.

• 23:51Speaker 00

  It'd be awesome to hit a homeless guy with a fucking 10 punch combo.

• 23:57Matt McCusker?

  I wanna get that guy, see he has a guy wearing a motorcycle helmet. I'm gonna wear the helmet and let that guy demonstrate on me.

• 24:02Speaker 02

  You might, I mean-

• 24:03Speaker 00

  Toss it on the bum first.

• 24:04Matt McCusker?

  Yo, that'd be nice.

• 24:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:06Speaker 02

  You might be able to tie a homeless guy into like a pretzel.

• 24:13Speaker 02

  They might just let you.

• 24:16Speaker 00

  If it was the guy asleep in front of a La Quinta. You could pretzel that man.

• 24:22Speaker 02

  Were you watching that with us?

• 24:23Speaker 00

  No.

• 24:23Speaker 02

  The guy, it was asleep, it was like. It was literally like a pile of rocks.

• 24:27Speaker 00

  Face down a pile of rocks in front of a La Quinta. They came and woke him up and he was like.

• 24:33Speaker 00

  Oh, no.

• 24:35Speaker 02

  It was literally like.

• 24:36Speaker 00

  You know the La Quinta and.

• 24:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was like.

• 24:39Speaker 00

  Right downtown?

• 24:40Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 24:40Speaker 00

  Right by, isn't it right next to the creek?

• 24:41Matt McCusker?

  I was just talking to someone who stayed in that the other day, they're like, dude, my hotel sucks, I'm in a La Quinta, Quinta, and I'm like, oh, yeah, dude, that thing's like.

• 24:46Speaker 00

  That thing's hell.

• 24:47Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, things are worse. It's good for the alphabet game on the road, though, I will say.

• 24:50Speaker 00

  It's big for that.

• 24:51Matt McCusker?

  Huge, it's the only queue on the road.

• 24:53Speaker 02

  Oh, oh, I see.

• 24:55Matt McCusker?

  For real.

• 24:55Speaker 00

  Dairy queens, La Quinta's.

• 24:57Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah, true, true, true.

• 24:58Speaker 00

  The X is just where it's at. It's the most impossible.

• 25:01Matt McCusker?

  It's tough. You gotta, yeah. I feel like a lot of vape shops have helped with the X. There's a lot of like, express.

• 25:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, true.

• 25:07Speaker 00

  Porn, strip clubs, hopefully.

• 25:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, X for smokers world and then like Arabic letters.

• 25:13Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Yeah, you try to translate them. I'm pretty sure that's a Muslim X right there.

• 25:18Speaker 02

  That's true.

• 25:20Matt McCusker?

  But yeah, man, that's, I, I start my day, I started my day today, actually, uh, just game planning, like if I was at the park and like the, some like weirdo guy was like hitting, like fucking with the kids. How hard would I go on him? It's like, dude, you would fuck him up so bad. I do that all the time.

• 25:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:35Matt McCusker?

  Right, it's just game plan, like dude, I would fucking headlock him.

• 25:37Speaker 00

  What if you got your ass beat by the pedophile?

• 25:41Matt McCusker?

  Thought about it before, but I, it's like, you can't, dude, you can't, you just have to go.

• 25:45Speaker 00

  You have to go honorably, obviously you have to go into battle, but if you get vanquished by a pedophile in the park and then he gets the kids.

• 25:52Matt McCusker?

  I'm going, well, if I started losing, I would fight, I would go for privates. I would fight dirty.

• 25:56Speaker 00

  You'd love that.

• 25:57Matt McCusker?

  I would try to written after, dude.

• 25:58Speaker 00

  It's his world.

• 25:59Matt McCusker?

  If I monkey clawed him.

• 26:01Speaker 02

  Ooh.

• 26:03Matt McCusker?

  Ooh, baby. Yeah, maybe.

• 26:06Speaker 00

  You'd be on the ground going, and now I went, he'd look down at you.

• 26:08Matt McCusker?

  He'd get me, yeah.

• 26:09Speaker 00

  Now you're my world. You just touched a man's penis at the park, you're one of us.

• 26:16Speaker 00

  Then you join forces and you go, where are the kids?

• 26:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like a double cross. He's like, I actually brought a cabinet.

• 26:21Matt McCusker?

  I'd have to go to my wife, like, you have till sundown to destroy me.

• 26:27Speaker 02

  Do you think there's peds who are watching these like pedophile hunter videos who are like training to be like, I can't get foiled.

• 26:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 26:36Speaker 02

  And they're like, just getting buff.

• 26:38Matt McCusker?

  True. That's nice. They're probably running drills in the supermarket just down the banana. Hard left at the banana stand.

• 26:45Speaker 00

  They have like a Three cone drill.

• 26:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:47Speaker 00

  They're doing the NFL combine. He's got a 20 second shuttle. This guy's gonna be a great pedophile. He's gonna fly out of that Walgreens, dude.

• 26:57Matt McCusker?

  They probably re-watch the beginning of Aladdin when like they steal the apple.

• 27:00Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 27:01Matt McCusker?

  Is how they like get through there.

• 27:02Speaker 02

  Yes. Yeah. Like build like a two scale cereal aisle.

• 27:06Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 27:06Speaker 02

  In his house.

• 27:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they gotta start training, man.

• 27:08Speaker 00

  They should start training like Navy SEALs, like just a complete replicate Walgreens in a warehouse.

• 27:14Matt McCusker?

  That would be

• 27:15Speaker 00

  Every day.

• 27:16Matt McCusker?

  That would be a good prank where you have one of those pedophile hunters, you like collab with them, but the pedophile's not even a pedophile. He's like, you know, there's like small jujitsu guys who are like nasty as fuck.

• 27:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 27:26Matt McCusker?

  Like, so he doesn't look at him posing, but they go to get him. The guy just pedophile, fake pedophile, just folds up the dude.

• 27:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:31Matt McCusker?

  You get to be like, what the fuck dude? The pedophile's beating your ass.

• 27:33Speaker 00

  Pedophile's beating your ass.

• 27:33Matt McCusker?

  Pedophile's beating your fucking ass.

• 27:36Speaker 00

  But then his boy, his boy would come with the pumpkin from behind.

• 27:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:40Speaker 00

  Pumpkin. If I was a pedophile, I'd give up the game, dude. Pumpkin is the scariest way to go.

• 27:47Speaker 02

  Get bonked.

• 27:48Speaker 00

  KO'd by a pumpkin.

• 27:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:50Speaker 00

  That's terrifying.

• 27:52Speaker 02

  I'd rather be Anything they can get their hands on.

• 27:54Matt McCusker?

  I'd feel rather be caught and known as a pedophile than known as getting KO'd by a pumpkin.

• 27:58Speaker 00

  Pumpkin'd on the internet, dude. Ah.

• 28:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, you cannot, yeah, October to December, you cannot fuck kids.

• 28:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 28:06Speaker 02

  Because it's, it's gourd season and you can't get

• 28:09Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, getting hit with, getting hit with one of Gabby's pumpkin pranks, dude. It'd be terrible.

• 28:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:15Speaker 00

  Thrown in the air.

• 28:18Speaker 00

  The alley-oop pumpkin.

• 28:20Speaker 02

  It is truly, yeah, they like, it's like an assist. They like pick and roll and then he guy like moves in.

• 28:25Matt McCusker?

  I saw the one where the pedophile got thrown into the air, the two people.

• 28:30Speaker 00

  They alley-oop him. The guy gets behind him and throws something.

• 28:33Speaker 02

  That's so, that sucks.

• 28:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, man, that is rough stuff. I mean, there's, God, I mean, I don't know, man, it's.

• 28:41Speaker 02

  It's like those guys are training.

• 28:42Speaker 00

  But what are you talking about? It's like, I, I think it's funny what they're up to. Just if you, if they got the wrong guy once and they threw him in the air and punched him and called him a pedophile and then hit him with a pumpkin. And it was just a guy that was like getting tampons for his daughter.

• 28:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. He's just, he's just a math teacher. They're like the most at risk for getting, you know.

• 29:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:05Matt McCusker?

  They look like pedophiles.

• 29:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:07Matt McCusker?

  Most math teachers do happen to look like pedophiles.

• 29:10Speaker 02

  It's true.

• 29:10Matt McCusker?

  You gotta be careful. If you're a math, if you're a mathematician, watch out.

• 29:13Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 29:14Speaker 02

  True. It's like, Sean, I.

• 29:15Speaker 00

  Might be nineteen seventy-five.

• 29:19Speaker 02

  It's like the, that teacher who shows off like his outfits on Instagram. I don't, I don't wanna.

• 29:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, that guy's, I don't like any of that.

• 29:28Speaker 02

  I don't like it either.

• 29:29Speaker 00

  I don't like when hot girls do it and hot girls do it. There's hot girl teachers that are like, check out my outfit for today.

• 29:33Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 29:34Speaker 00

  You go, you're gonna fuck one of these kids.

• 29:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:37Speaker 00

  You better stay at a low grade.

• 29:38Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, for real.

• 29:39Speaker 00

  You get into high school, they're gonna get you.

• 29:42Matt McCusker?

  My God, man. Captain of the football team. Surprised you can get that, bro.

• 29:47Speaker 02

  Ooh.

• 29:48Speaker 00

  Maybe I did.

• 29:52Speaker 00

  What was his name?

• 29:55Speaker 00

  Do that joke on yourself. It's so funny.

• 29:59Speaker 02

  Maybe I did.

• 30:08Speaker 00

  Man, I'm pumped on this bird feeder. Though I was struggling to set it up right now.

• 30:11Matt McCusker?

  Did it charge?

• 30:12Speaker 00

  I was trying to connect it, yeah.

• 30:15Matt McCusker?

  I'm, I'm fucking, I couldn't be more stoked. I spent the morning, I got a kumquat tree.

• 30:20Speaker 00

  Pause.

• 30:21Matt McCusker?

  Yo. It's a kumquat.

• 30:23Speaker 00

  It's the best tree you can get.

• 30:26Matt McCusker?

  I got kumquats, limes, and an avocado tree.

• 30:29Speaker 00

  That's nice.

• 30:30Matt McCusker?

  I got peach and lemon coming.

• 30:31Speaker 00

  Avocado tree's sick.

• 30:33Matt McCusker?

  Bro, I can't, I can't wait.

• 30:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 30:34Matt McCusker?

  I can't wait. Avocado tree, I won't probably yield anything. Maybe this winter I'll get a couple. Get a couple. They're Mexican avocado, so they're hardy to the cold. There's a cold snap will fuck your avocado tree up, but these things, they can take, they can take a little cold. Cool. Sub 23. Careful, I got them in pots, I'm gonna move them in, no prob, no problem, bud. Um, dude, I spent the whole morning getting these things and like, I thought it was like 9 a.m. Britney's like, dude, it's 11, you gotta leave.

• 30:57Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. I didn't even shower, I'm covered in fucking dirt, my bad.

• 30:59Speaker 00

  I saw that.

• 31:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, sorry about that.

• 31:01Speaker 00

  That makes sense.

• 31:02Matt McCusker?

  Sorry about that. Yeah, I'm pretty dirty right now.

• 31:03Speaker 00

  I don't care at all.

• 31:04Matt McCusker?

  Don't have time to shower.

• 31:05Speaker 00

  I just saw it on your ankles and I was like, I wonder what he's been doing.

• 31:08Matt McCusker?

  You're out in the field.

• 31:09Speaker 00

  He was in the field.

• 31:09Matt McCusker?

  Planting fruit trees in the field.

• 31:10Speaker 00

  That's awesome.

• 31:11Matt McCusker?

  Remember the Bad Bunny Super Bowl halftime show?

• 31:13Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 31:13Matt McCusker?

  I'm the guy.

• 31:14Speaker 00

  That was you.

• 31:14Matt McCusker?

  I'm one of those guys. That's you.

• 31:19Matt McCusker?

  That's great. I saw that, I was like, yo, it's me, basically. Pretty much me. It's just for me. He did this for me. It was so sick, he did that video for me. True. Finally some representation. Super Bowl halftime show. Yeah.

• 31:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 31:31Matt McCusker?

  That'd be nice. My last representation was the old rappers. That was awesome.

• 31:34Speaker 00

  That was a good representation.

• 31:35Matt McCusker?

  That was good, that was awesome.

• 31:37Speaker 00

  When 50 was a little, little big, hanging upside down, you go, yeah, fuck it, dude.

• 31:42Matt McCusker?

  The guy at the top's like, you just fuckin' crazy.

• 31:47Matt McCusker?

  50 Cent's been a little, little quiet. He had a, he was like. Right. I mean, he's obviously still doing his thing, but he was like, he was the dude for, he had a good like two month run where.

• 31:55Speaker 00

  He did the right thing, though. He went away for a little while.

• 31:57Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah, he chilled.

• 31:58Speaker 00

  That's the, yeah.

• 31:59Matt McCusker?

  That's true. What is he cooking up? Who's next, dude? Didn't he say LeBron? No. Didn't he post something about LeBron? Damn. Where he was like, I have a documentary about you too. 50 becomes black, hello, gonna be crazy.

• 32:14Matt McCusker?

  He just starts grunting people.

• 32:19Matt McCusker?

  Man, nobody's safe.

• 32:21Speaker 00

  If he gets LeBron, that's wild.

• 32:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that would be. That's just what I.

• 32:25Speaker 00

  Nate's looking it up right now, cause Nate loves LeBron.

• 32:28Matt McCusker?

  LeBron is really funny.

• 32:30Speaker 03

  LeBron might be the zest lord. He might be the zest lord. I used to hate LeBron, but now he's he's too undeniable.

• 32:35Speaker 00

  That happens.

• 32:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 32:37Speaker 00

  I used to hate Tom Brady and then it gets to a point where you're like, well, this is awesome.

• 32:41Speaker 03

  He's kinda the best at it for real, for real. And if you hate greatness, you're just a hater.

• 32:46Matt McCusker?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Dude, real quick, gotta tell you guys about this.

• 32:51Speaker 00

  I like this.

• 32:52Matt McCusker?

  I like that too. AG1, the healthy stuff I've been drinking recently. Still just one scoop once a day, vitamins, minerals, probiotics. All this stuff my actual diet doesn't provide. Mix is great. Doesn't taste like a fistfight. Package travel easily if you're on the road doing shows or just too lazy to measure anything out, which dude, come on. They also recently came out with AG1 Pro, the same foundation, but with creatine in one simple delicious drink. So if you're someone who trains a lot or wants to get more impact out of your stack, this one might be worth checking out. So hurry up and go to drinkag1.com/secretpod

• 33:33Matt McCusker?

  and for a limited time only, get a free immune support bundle, including omega-3 fish oil and vitamin D3 plus K2 with your first subscription to AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. That's drinkag1.com/secretpod. This episode is brought to you by Mint Mobile.

• 33:49Speaker 00

  Mint Mobile.

• 33:50Matt McCusker?

  Mint took what's wrong with wireless and made it right with premium wireless for 15 bucks a month.

• 33:57Speaker 00

  No gimmicks, no gotchas. You can even bring your current phone and your number. Go to mintmobile.com/drenched.

• 34:06Matt McCusker?

  Upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for 12 months. Plan required. $15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra. Initial plan term only. Greater than 50GB may slow when network is busy. Includes up to 20GB of hotspot. Capable devices required. Availability, speed, and coverage varies. See mintmobile.com.

• 34:26Speaker 00

  Incredible.

• 34:27Matt McCusker?

  Matt, please read the highlighted lines verbatim. And now it's time for This Week in Dog History, presented by Aura Frames. So they got a little thing here. This is nice. You know how some memories are just waiting to make you laugh years later? Oh, yeah. That's exactly what Aura Frames do. Uh huh. They take the moments that matter and turn them into something you can actually see every day. Oh, yeah. And you know what's, you know what's overflowing with hilarious moments waiting to be revisited? This podcast. So let's take a walk down memory lane, shall we? What's the strangest recording setup we've ever had? Matt? Remember that one? What's the strangest recording setup you've ever had? It had like a buzz in it. That's so crazy. Oh.

• 35:12Matt McCusker?

  Um, a wild moment that becomes a story you'll always tell. What's a wild moment? Remember my wife came to laser tag and she was mad at me on the podcast? I love telling that story. I'll always tell that story. What's happening in the photo? That is, the photo is just two good friends at a golf event. Yeah, we were out and we took a picture together. Um, I was a little boy. I took a picture of my two heroes. No, yeah.

• 35:39Matt McCusker?

  Was there something totally off the rails happening behind the scenes? Oh, yeah. Of that photo? You wouldn't believe what was going on behind the scenes of that photo.

• 35:50Matt McCusker?

  It's not even public. Guys, moments like these, funny, chaotic, or just plain weird are exactly what Aura Frames are built for. Mm hmm. This is exactly what they're built for. Unlimited photo and video storage, preloaded messages, effortless sharing. It's how your memories become something everyone can enjoy. Save on, save on the gifts mom love by heading to auraframes.com. And for a limited time, get $25 off the bestselling Carver Matt Frame with code MSSP. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Thank you, Aura. Dude, I went down a Pat Tillman hole the other day. 50 threat in LeBron? That rocks.

• 36:29Matt McCusker?

  Bro, it was all, you know, he, uh, he got an offer to leave the Cardinals before he, uh, signed up to be in the military. And they're gonna pay him like a bunch of money. Whoever had won the Super Bowl, I guess like after the first year he played. It was like, yeah, we're gonna give you a ton of money. Come to our team, like championship team, might do it again. What is, what does Tillman do? Nah, bro. Cardinals picked me. I was low, I was low round in the draft. They took a chance on me. I'm staying with the Cardinals. Went to war, it was, it was such a beast. They offered to get him out of the military. He did one year tour and they're like, yo, man, we like set it up with the government, you're free to come home now. He goes, bro, it's a slap in my fucking face. He'd even offered me that. Such an animal. Dude is the fucking man.

• 37:06Speaker 00

  Didn't they, didn't they friendly fire him?

• 37:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, friendly fired. And there was, there was a, uh, fuck, what was it? An Afghani soldier that apparently like loved him? That like ran up the hill with him. Cause his, his little brother was, uh, serving with him too. So his little brother was under fire. So he like ran up the hill. And then Afghani soldier ran up as well. He got killed. No one talked about that guy. But yeah, he ran up there too. He got, he got hit a bunch of times. And apparently they invented a story about a woman soldier getting raped.

• 37:31Speaker 00

  That's the statue.

• 37:33Matt McCusker?

  Is that the statue?

• 37:34Speaker 00

  Well, that's the picture that they use for the statue. Statue's fucking tight. You ever see it?

• 37:38Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 37:38Speaker 02

  Did they put it in the?

• 37:39Matt McCusker?

  Tillman fucking rules.

• 37:40Speaker 02

  Arizona?

• 37:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 37:41Speaker 02

  It's really cool.

• 37:42Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, the Pat Tillman, he is, he is a fun, the Pat Tillman fund started. Because people just started sending all this money to the Arizona Cardinals being like, this is for Pat Tillman. And they got like a million bucks and they called his family like, yo, we have a million dollars for you guys. What the fuck should we do with this?

• 37:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:56Matt McCusker?

  He's like, we'll just set up the fund. They send like soldiers to school or like the master's degrees and stuff.

• 38:01Speaker 02

  It's cool.

• 38:01Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, Pat Tillman, true American hero.

• 38:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:04Matt McCusker?

  I interviewed John Krakauer recently.

• 38:06Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 38:07Matt McCusker?

  And I got, he wrote a book on Tillman.

• 38:09Speaker 02

  Did he really?

• 38:10Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, we got to talk Tillman.

• 38:11Speaker 02

  Speaking of another.

• 38:12Matt McCusker?

  Hello. Yo, yeah, dude. Yo, that's Tillman. Fucking sick.

• 38:17Speaker 00

  Legend.

• 38:18Speaker 02

  Man, it's cool.

• 38:19Matt McCusker?

  It's an absolute leggy. Yeah, dude, I, I interviewed John Krakauer, uh, like two days ago. He has, so he climbed Mount Everest and like there was a disaster, all these guys died. He survived, wrote a book and it's like a, a huge book. And, uh, dude, he has a guy on his ass. There's a YouTuber, anti-John Krakauer YouTuber, which is like, dude climbs Everest. What's your beef? This guy's like, he, there's all these different faces of Everest. This other guy climbed a different face of Everest. And he's just going through all of Krakauer's book being like, cap, cap, none of this happened, but like, and the dude like is blowing up. Krakauer had to fire back about it. Dude, I was, I was telling him like, dude, I know this guy's like. Really a pain in your ass, but it was nothing that delighted me more than to see you have a fucking nasty YouTube.

• 39:03Matt McCusker?

  I just never would expect to see that. You having a guy being like bullshit, that the Sherpas don't drop rope lines on that pass the mountain. Dude, get out of here.

• 39:12Speaker 02

  I know. I guess it's just like every, every creative or any pursuit just has a guy now.

• 39:19Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 39:20Speaker 02

  Who goes on YouTube and is annoying.

• 39:22Matt McCusker?

  Cause his book did so well that another climber wrote a book after that and has had to kind of be like, yo, fuck him. He's fucking bullshit.

• 39:31Matt McCusker?

  It's so funny.

• 39:31Speaker 00

  What was his book called?

• 39:33Matt McCusker?

  He did Into the Wild. That was the guy who just like walked off and died in the wild. Into Thin Air. That was the Everest one.

• 39:38Speaker 00

  I got both of those.

• 39:39Matt McCusker?

  Do you really?

• 39:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 39:40Matt McCusker?

  Dude, he's, he rules. He did the Pat Tillman book where men get glory. And then he did, he did a book about.

• 39:45Speaker 00

  That's sick.

• 39:45Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's pretty tight. He did a, he did a book about Mormons, like polygamous militant Mormons. So, yeah. Yeah, dude's a man. He's retired now. He's no more. He just lives in Boulder. Stays at altitude. I'm so, I'm so jealous of people at altitude. Dude, it's, I'll work out whenever I'm in like, if I go to like Denver anywhere, like that's like 5,000 feet. I do like one workout and I come back and I'm like, dude, I'm definitely altered. This is crazy.

• 40:08Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, you feel.

• 40:10Speaker 00

  It's funny you do that. I have like five beers and I go, whoa.

• 40:14Speaker 00

  Shit, I'm wasted. Altitude's nuts.

• 40:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it would be nasty when I get back.

• 40:17Speaker 00

  And I go home and get dry skin and a bloody nose. This sucks. I'm dying. My body's dying here.

• 40:22Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I'm like a snake. My skin just cracks when I go up there.

• 40:25Speaker 00

  Immediately.

• 40:26Matt McCusker?

  It's crazy. But yeah, I didn't know when you climb Everest, so you go to base camp for two weeks, you acclimate. I thought you just like roll up and climb the fucking mountain. No, you climb a little bit, come back down, climb a little more, come back. So you're like constantly getting acclimated to higher and higher parts. The first face of Everest that you climb from where he did, it's just a giant sheet of ice that slowly can shift and start moving. And every now and again, it'll just stand up and just squa- it can just like the size of a house just squash you. He was a 600 person to climb. I'm just giving away the whole thing. But he was a 600 person to climb Everest or like 637. It was so scary. It was like so fucked up. He like wrote that book hoping to scare people away from trying to do it. 30 years later, guess how many people have climbed Mount Everest?

• 41:08Speaker 00

  How many?

• 41:09Matt McCusker?

  Dude, like 25,000 people.

• 41:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:12Matt McCusker?

  His book, he did the opposite. Everyone's like, dude, he says he goes to signings. People look at him and go, you climbed Everest? I could fucking do that.

• 41:18Speaker 00

  I've seen.

• 41:19Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 41:19Speaker 00

  I just watched a documentary on it. And there's just a line of people climbing.

• 41:23Matt McCusker?

  Now it's just completely crowded.

• 41:25Speaker 00

  Hundreds of people in it, yeah.

• 41:26Matt McCusker?

  But if one of those glacial kind of deposit things falls, now that it's so crowded, it's just gonna squash like four hundred people at once. Yeah, he said now the Sherpas are like, dude, this is the best thing that ever happened.

• 41:36Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, they probably get paid.

• 41:38Matt McCusker?

  Just lines of dudes just going up there.

• 41:40Speaker 02

  Make a ton of money.

• 41:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 41:42Speaker 02

  Selfie wall at the Mount Everest.

• 41:44Speaker 00

  There it is. I watched the Chinese guy fall off recently.

• 41:47Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 41:48Speaker 00

  Slid right off taking a selfie.

• 41:50Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, but people still die, dude. Like, a lot of people still die climbing Everest.

• 41:55Speaker 00

  Slowly slid off. Everyone just watches him slide away.

• 41:58Matt McCusker?

  Dude, you're done.

• 41:59Speaker 00

  Fuck.

• 41:59Matt McCusker?

  You're toast.

• 42:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 42:00Matt McCusker?

  If you don't get those, you need those oxygen tanks. You get up super high and if like, if you're out of tanks, you just suffocate.

• 42:05Speaker 00

  You talk about, what's that, what's, what do they get? It's like, uh, it's like the altitude and hypothermia where you get like hallucinations.

• 42:12Matt McCusker?

  No, I didn't know about that.

• 42:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, they see things before they die. Yeah, it's like you're dying. I forget what it's called.

• 42:18Matt McCusker?

  It's not the black dog, is it?

• 42:20Speaker 00

  Maybe.

• 42:21Matt McCusker?

  Dang, that's crazy. That's pretty tight.

• 42:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 42:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I got, that was, I also learned, uh, I've been reading about Gold Rush, Colorado. You know there was a big cannibal? Or, there's, yeah, that's what I said, cannibal. I don't know why I was like, there's a, there was like a prolific cannibal that like haunted the, the hills in Colorado for a while. He was munching, dude. Munching settlers for a while. It was pretty crazy. I had no idea.

• 42:46Speaker 00

  So many deer and wildlife there.

• 42:48Matt McCusker?

  No, he just, he got a taste.

• 42:49Speaker 00

  He wanted the people.

• 42:50Matt McCusker?

  He wanted the people. He wanted those gold miners, dude. He was munching them. It's like a wild, he was in the hills outside of Pike's Peak. And everyone was like, bro, I'm pretty sure my wife got munched.

• 42:59Speaker 00

  I mean, this is crazy. I've never heard of this man.

• 43:01Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, look, look up, uh.

• 43:02Speaker 00

  How many did he munch?

• 43:03Matt McCusker?

  Look up Colorado cannibal. I think it was like the seventeen hunters.

• 43:06Speaker 02

  Was he, uh?

• 43:07Matt McCusker?

  It's like the Leadville Silver Boom, I believe.

• 43:11Speaker 02

  Sounds like a name from that era, too.

• 43:14Matt McCusker?

  His name was like William something, but yeah, he was munching.

• 43:18Matt McCusker?

  Alpha, okay.

• 43:18Speaker 02

  Alfred Green. Did he, did he just like?

• 43:20Matt McCusker?

  Alfred Packer, that's who it was.

• 43:21Speaker 02

  Alfred Packer. Did he just like turn into a cannibal someday?

• 43:24Matt McCusker?

  I have no idea. I just, I just like, I never fully got into his thing yet, but he, uh, he was munching.

• 43:31Speaker 02

  It is like a funny.

• 43:31Matt McCusker?

  How many people say he got? Maybe it's unknown.

• 43:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he was, he was munching. Down the colo- dude, Colorado is crazy.

• 43:39Speaker 00

  It looks like he might've had the munch.

• 43:41Matt McCusker?

  He had to munch?

• 43:43Speaker 00

  Looks like a little, uh.

• 43:44Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 43:45Matt McCusker?

  I could be getting some Colorado folklore. He got five.

• 43:48Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 43:48Speaker 00

  Munch five, he came back fat.

• 43:51Matt McCusker?

  Oh, so he had to munch, because he was on the loose. I feel like they had to like catch him at some point.

• 43:57Matt McCusker?

  And munched?

• 44:02Speaker 00

  Oh, he, so he was up there hiding and there was a snowstorm and he caught some guys that were stuck in it.

• 44:07Matt McCusker?

  And he munched?

• 44:07Speaker 00

  He said, boys, I'm hungry.

• 44:10Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 44:12Matt McCusker?

  Yes.

• 44:13Speaker 00

  Oh, boy, you know what time it is. It's time for the help with the butter.

• 44:18Matt McCusker?

  This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp.

• 44:20Speaker 00

  Oh, you butter the help with the butter.

• 44:23Matt McCusker?

  One thing that's been keeping me up at night. Hmm.

• 44:26Speaker 00

  What's been keeping you up at night, Matt?

• 44:27Matt McCusker?

  What's been keeping me up at night? I, I, nothing, honestly. I sleep like a fucking brick, but I do, I pass out like a second.

• 44:35Speaker 00

  Why are you worried about it?

• 44:36Matt McCusker?

  Well. You know what's keeping me up at night? My lack of deep sleep. I don't get a lot of deep sleep. But, you know, I don't know, I don't know. Other than that, um, my kids keep me up or when I have to pee, I lay down in bed sometimes and I think of really funny, cool jokes and then I don't write them down. I wake up and go.

• 44:52Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 44:54Matt McCusker?

  Then that keeps me up the next night. But guys, news flash, nobody has all the answers, okay? And since it's, I don't know if you knew this, it's Mental Health Awareness Month.

• 45:03Speaker 00

  Oh, nice.

• 45:04Matt McCusker?

  It's the perfect time to remind you that you don't have to tackle your problems alone.

• 45:08Speaker 00

  No.

• 45:09Matt McCusker?

  Match with a therapist from BetterHelp and get the help you need to navigate stress, anxiety, burnout, and more. They have an industry-leading match fulfillment rate. You just need to answer a few questions. Then they'll tailor a list of professional therapists you can connect with.

• 45:25Speaker 00

  I really like that. Matt, you don't have to be on this journey alone, okay? You need to find support and have someone with you in therapy. Matt, I want you in therapy. Now, sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com slash MSSP. That's better H E L P dot com slash MSSP. That's better help, the help with the better.

• 45:46Matt McCusker?

  Uh, 516 guys, Riviera Theater, Chicago, Illinois. I'll be there, May 16th. I'll be there, get there. That'll be really nice. I don't know if there's a lot of tickets left, guys, just being serious. And I have a bunch of new dates coming out pretty soon that I'll announce, so, pretty stoked. I know I'll be in Miami.

• 46:03Speaker 00

  Oh, the 10s.

• 46:06Matt McCusker?

  The Miami 10s will be there, so.

• 46:07Speaker 00

  The motherfucking D-aces. Uh, May 4th, I'll be at the Hollywood Bowl in LA. Please come to that. I've got very good special guests on that. Uh, May 7th, 8th and 9th, I'm at TD Garden in Boston, unless the damn Celtics. We'll see.

• 46:24Matt McCusker?

  Ah, come on, Sixers.

• 46:25Speaker 00

  Come on, Sixers, do this so I can have my shows. Uh, and then, yeah, the, uh, July 17th, at The Link, please. Please come. That one's gonna be crazy, so.

• 46:38Matt McCusker?

  It's gonna be awesome.

• 46:39Speaker 00

  Even if you think I suck, you should go to that.

• 46:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, those Colorado towns, dude, they were crazy, cuz like, there would be a town of like, 100 people, and they'd be like, yo, there's gold in the hills, and then instantly the town would turn into 100,000 people.

• 46:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's.

• 46:51Matt McCusker?

  And no one really got a lot of gold from the gold rush. And it would just turn into like, the worst place ever. Everyone was just disappointed and pissed. And crowded on each other.

• 47:00Speaker 02

  And probably, well.

• 47:01Matt McCusker?

  At altitude, too, so they're all getting hammered quicker, being like, what the fuck?

• 47:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 47:05Matt McCusker?

  Oh, shh, what the shit?

• 47:07Speaker 02

  It's good if you're just not looking for gold and you just wanna attack people and eat them.

• 47:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 47:13Speaker 02

  Oh my god, all this, yeah, all.

• 47:15Matt McCusker?

  They were also mean to the Injuns in Colorado. They did some bad stuff.

• 47:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, I mean, the dumbest guys on earth showed up.

• 47:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Sand Creek, I think Sand Creek was like, it was just women and children. This guy's famous thing was, uh, cuz they were like, it's like, there's not even Braves who checked it out. It's all women and children, and then one dude goes, nits make lice. We gotta take 'em out, and this one just murdered the children.

• 47:35Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 47:36Matt McCusker?

  They ran for office, I think. Brutal, brutal stuff. It's about, I'm really tapping everything I've read about in the last. It's good.

• 47:44Speaker 02

  I like that. I.

• 47:46Matt McCusker?

  But yeah, silver, silver boom, gold boom, Colorado stuff. You know, I've never really thought about it. And that was, I was, I was reading about that. Pretty sick.

• 47:53Speaker 02

  Isn't that like the same era as like the Deadwood TV show? Like people are just like moving out west.

• 47:58Matt McCusker?

  Could be.

• 47:58Speaker 00

  It was like the eighteen forties and.

• 48:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's pre, I think it was pre-civil.

• 48:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:03Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 48:03Matt McCusker?

  Pre-civil.

• 48:04Speaker 00

  Why the forty niners?

• 48:05Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 48:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:06Matt McCusker?

  There we go. Hey now.

• 48:07Speaker 00

  It's a good way to remember it.

• 48:08Matt McCusker?

  I like that.

• 48:09Speaker 00

  Who would have thought?

• 48:09Matt McCusker?

  Okay, forty niners. Uh, there we go.

• 48:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's the forty niners.

• 48:12Speaker 02

  What would you guys do in, in that era? Like if you were alive, like for a profession?

• 48:17Matt McCusker?

  God fearing farmer.

• 48:19Speaker 02

  What's that farmer?

• 48:19Matt McCusker?

  God fearing farmer.

• 48:20Speaker 00

  I'd be a god fearing farmer. Call it.

• 48:26Speaker 00

  No, I don't know.

• 48:26Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, who knows, man?

• 48:28Speaker 00

  That shit would suck.

• 48:29Speaker 02

  It looks terrible.

• 48:29Speaker 00

  I'd be in a fucking factory.

• 48:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, I would be the Indian guys.

• 48:33Speaker 00

  East coast, shitty factory.

• 48:34Speaker 02

  Sharpen the fucking.

• 48:35Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. We're talking about if you packed up and moved out there for that.

• 48:38Speaker 00

  Out west?

• 48:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, general store. I can see you having a nice general store.

• 48:42Speaker 00

  Now you're talking like I'm Grant.

• 48:43Speaker 02

  Proprietor.

• 48:43Speaker 00

  Nah, you're saying I'm Ulysses and I understand. I would work the front desk and then the war would break out and I'd go, God calls me to lead this army. All these other guys are being pussies, dude. I was getting wasted working at a fucking general store. It's time to get wasted on the battlefield.

• 48:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:00Speaker 00

  The, the allegation that he was wasted at Chilo was great.

• 49:03Matt McCusker?

  So tight.

• 49:04Speaker 00

  He woke up late to the battle, uh, cause he was drunk as fuck.

• 49:08Speaker 02

  That's funny. Oh shit, the war is due today.

• 49:12Speaker 00

  Shit, they're here. They're like, sir, we should retreat. He's like, fuck that.

• 49:16Matt McCusker?

  Fuck that.

• 49:17Speaker 00

  I'm gonna fucking kill these pussies. Everyone died.

• 49:21Matt McCusker?

  Angry and has a hot face. Fuck that.

• 49:24Speaker 02

  It's the scariest guy.

• 49:25Matt McCusker?

  Dude, that tornado documentary you showed me.

• 49:28Speaker 00

  It's a tough one.

• 49:28Matt McCusker?

  Dude, that guy waking up with a hang, vicious hangover and being like, dude, I think there's a tornado. We should go check it out.

• 49:33Speaker 00

  Hangover, getting hit with an F five?

• 49:37Speaker 00

  Fuck.

• 49:41Matt McCusker?

  You hear the audio the whole time.

• 49:44Matt McCusker?

  Also, everyone in that town that gets interviewed, it was like, I was ready to go.

• 49:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:50Speaker 00

  I thought you were good. It's very, they just interview, everyone's just kind of a weird Christian.

• 49:54Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, oh yeah.

• 49:55Speaker 00

  They all come off as very homosexual.

• 49:56Matt McCusker?

  Well, the one guy is.

• 49:57Speaker 00

  And then one guy, yeah, at least one.

• 49:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, the one guy, the one guy being like, at one point I was ready, I let go because I thought it was the rapture. And then like, since he didn't get sucked up in the hurricane, he goes, God, it's because I'm gay, isn't it? And he went home, but luckily his parents are still alive because his parents got sucked up. He would have been like, oh yeah, okay, that was the rapture.

• 50:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:16Matt McCusker?

  I got left behind in the wasteland. It's so funny, you're a fat gay guy being like, take me.

• 50:22Speaker 02

  I know.

• 50:24Matt McCusker?

  Your feet leave the ground like that much and then you drop back down, you're like, god damn it. Shit. Because he was young, so he probably barely did that much gay stuff.

• 50:33Speaker 00

  No, but he knew.

• 50:34Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 50:34Speaker 00

  He did a lot of gay stuff. He was making YouTube videos with the other girls in school. That's, that's gayer than sexual guys.

• 50:40Matt McCusker?

  The YouTube guy was different.

• 50:42Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 50:42Matt McCusker?

  That was a different bro. He died, he died.

• 50:44Speaker 00

  The chubby YouTuber. No, not the YouTube guy.

• 50:46Matt McCusker?

  He made YouTubes too?

• 50:47Speaker 00

  Not the cool YouTube guy.

• 50:49Matt McCusker?

  Cool YouTube guy.

• 50:50Speaker 00

  The, the.

• 50:51Matt McCusker?

  I didn't know he did that.

• 50:51Speaker 00

  The gay man was making YouTube videos with the girls.

• 50:53Matt McCusker?

  Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. I didn't know that. I did like the jock, who was just like, yeah, this one girl came up to me out of the wreckage. It was like, hey, what are you doing? He's like, I didn't recognize her. I didn't know who she was. She knew me, but I didn't. It's like, dude, stop, man. Stop chatting around, dude. You can't do it.

• 51:07Speaker 00

  Is chatting in the rubble? You can't chat in rubble.

• 51:09Matt McCusker?

  He was chatting in the rubble. He was there rescuing people. And there's like a babe from the school was like, yo, it's you. And he was like, I don't even know her, dude.

• 51:15Speaker 02

  Oh, that used to be your house? Damn, that's crazy.

• 51:22Speaker 00

  That's like fucked up.

• 51:25Speaker 00

  Shit.

• 51:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, that documentary is terrifying.

• 51:29Speaker 02

  It's really scary. And then there's like the fungus thing that happens afterward. That's scary to me.

• 51:33Speaker 00

  Oh yeah, I forgot about the fungus.

• 51:35Speaker 02

  That's, that freaked me out.

• 51:37Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, and that like get kicked up out of the ground?

• 51:39Speaker 00

  Kicked up, yeah.

• 51:40Matt McCusker?

  Yeesh.

• 51:41Speaker 02

  And then it's like you get, you get sucked up. And then you're like, thank God I survived. And then the bacteria almost kills you.

• 51:51Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's really fucked up.

• 51:53Speaker 02

  Double whammy.

• 51:54Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, and it's like crazy.

• 51:55Speaker 00

  It's a tearjerker, though.

• 51:56Matt McCusker?

  Bro.

• 51:56Speaker 00

  I knew, I knew it got you.

• 51:58Matt McCusker?

  Got me.

• 51:59Speaker 00

  Thankfully, thankfully, I wasn't invested in it this time. First time I watched it, I was sobbing at the end, dude. And then Obama comes on, and you're like, damn Obama.

• 52:07Matt McCusker?

  I miss Obama.

• 52:09Speaker 00

  That was a cool speech, fuck.

• 52:11Matt McCusker?

  It was such a good speech.

• 52:12Speaker 00

  Actually, I think I did this, I think I said this the last time I, I talked about this.

• 52:15Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 52:16Speaker 00

  But just comparing it to if Trump was president then.

• 52:19Matt McCusker?

  Oh, man. You had a big storm, wow. You guys are great, though.

• 52:25Speaker 00

  Alright, get him out of here.

• 52:27Matt McCusker?

  And we're doing a lot right now for the economy.

• 52:30Speaker 00

  He'd just be like, yo, I'm killing it right now.

• 52:32Matt McCusker?

  Someone say the economy's in F5 right now.

• 52:36Speaker 00

  Damn, he's had some good ones lately, though.

• 52:38Matt McCusker?

  Has he fired back up?

• 52:39Speaker 00

  He's been very funny.

• 52:40Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 52:41Speaker 00

  Fuck, what was the one? He had one recently, I'm trying to remember it.

• 52:43Matt McCusker?

  Did you see the shooter?

• 52:45Speaker 00

  I did see the shooter.

• 52:46Matt McCusker?

  Bro, he like made it, again, his rings of security, man, that first ring is so bad. Got through. Shot the Secret Service guy.

• 52:55Speaker 00

  Did he shoot a guy?

• 52:56Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he shot a Secret Service guy, the guy had an armored vest on or whatever.

• 52:59Speaker 00

  He's, he called it in his manifesto.

• 53:01Matt McCusker?

  Did he?

• 53:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, he said, I'm gonna use, like, buckshot or, or like, uh, and he was like, that way if they're wearing armor, I don't have to kill anyone. But he's like, I'm trying not to kill anyone, I'm just trying to kill Trump.

• 53:11Matt McCusker?

  Oh, okay.

• 53:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 53:12Matt McCusker?

  So you did him with the, like, the sun gun all the way up to Trump?

• 53:15Speaker 00

  He was trying, yeah.

• 53:16Matt McCusker?

  Bring out the James Bond golden pistol and.

• 53:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, he's gonna PP7, everybody else, one-shot PP7. Golden gun.

• 53:29Speaker 02

  How did he, did he just like break in?

• 53:31Speaker 00

  He just Naruto'd right through. He literally sprinted through.

• 53:35Matt McCusker?

  Arms back, nerd run.

• 53:37Speaker 00

  Nerd run, right through.

• 53:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's.

• 53:40Speaker 02

  It's hard to tell now, it's like, that might be like a high-ranking FBI official.

• 53:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's exactly how they would all run. This entire administration would Naruto.

• 53:50Matt McCusker?

  What do you think about Cash getting in trouble for drinking? Cash is under, he's like under investigation for how hard he's hitting the brewskis. He's claiming he's not hitting the brewskis.

• 53:58Speaker 00

  The one thing I support him on. Let the boy hit the brewskis. All Indian dudes want to do is have brewskis with the bros. You saw how happy he was in that hockey locker.

• 54:07Matt McCusker?

  He really was.

• 54:08Speaker 00

  That's literally the Indian dream.

• 54:11Speaker 02

  He's stressed.

• 54:12Matt McCusker?

  He's stressed. And honestly, I really, I didn't like all the like, imagine how bad that sucks when he rolls up to that. It's like, you think they give a fuck? They just won the Stanley Cup or the Olympics.

• 54:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 54:22Matt McCusker?

  They're fucking stoked. And then you're like, holy fuck, there's Cash Patel ripping a fucking, shotgunning a beer. This is awesome. I remember not liking that footage of a coverage of like, it's like, dude, he's doing one thing cool. He doesn't have every, not everything has to be bad all the time.

• 54:37Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's, that's, that's, they struggle with that.

• 54:40Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's like, dude, this is sick.

• 54:41Speaker 00

  Can we admit the arch is sick that Trump wants to build?

• 54:43Matt McCusker?

  What's the arch?

• 54:44Speaker 00

  He's trying to build a sick ass arch.

• 54:46Speaker 02

  Dude, where?

• 54:47Speaker 00

  Give us a fucking arch.

• 54:48Matt McCusker?

  Where is it?

• 54:49Speaker 00

  In, in Washington.

• 54:51Matt McCusker?

  It's gonna be sick. Golden arch would be tight.

• 54:53Speaker 00

  It's not golden, I don't think.

• 54:54Speaker 02

  McDonald's 24/7, I actually like that.

• 54:57Matt McCusker?

  It's just a big M.

• 55:00Speaker 00

  I typed in sick ass arch, dude.

• 55:04Speaker 00

  Sick ass arch DC.

• 55:07Speaker 00

  It came up, obviously.

• 55:09Matt McCusker?

  That's awesome.

• 55:10Speaker 00

  Trump's victory arch. Let's go, let's go.

• 55:13Matt McCusker?

  Well, he has to win first.

• 55:14Speaker 00

  Bro. It would be tight. We stopped building sick shit.

• 55:18Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 55:19Speaker 00

  And they don't like it because it's Trump dog, but.

• 55:21Matt McCusker?

  Is that just like a 3D rendering?

• 55:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:23Speaker 02

  That actually looks cool. It's like, um.

• 55:25Speaker 00

  Washington Square Park.

• 55:26Speaker 02

  Yes. I was, I was thinking the St. Louis thing.

• 55:30Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 55:31Speaker 02

  That's nicer. It's like a.

• 55:33Matt McCusker?

  We should be like, all right, if you, if you win, if he wins Iran, you get the arch. If he doesn't win, he gets the loser arch and they're gonna put him up there just going like.

• 55:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's gonna be, if he puts himself on the arch, I'm out. But if the arch is just, America's sick, I like it.

• 55:49Matt McCusker?

  That'd be tight. Well, he's gonna have, his name's gonna be somewhere on there.

• 55:53Speaker 00

  Definitely.

• 55:53Matt McCusker?

  It's, there's no way.

• 55:54Speaker 00

  There's no way his name's not on it.

• 55:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he's gonna put that shit on there somewhere.

• 55:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, but hopefully he puts everyone's.

• 56:00Matt McCusker?

  One of his, now there's like on the, you know, like Abraham Lincoln has like the Gettysburg Address. It'll be one of Trump's speeches, just a snippet of like, she's a fat bitch. Fat bitch, shut up.

• 56:11Speaker 02

  It'd be nice to have, like, you remember the, the LED belt buckles where it was like, and it's like just across the top. It's like all his top insults.

• 56:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I mean, I, you know, I, I haven't heard much about Iran. Piggy arch.

• 56:23Speaker 00

  Piggy, quiet piggy arch.

• 56:25Matt McCusker?

  Quiet piggy.

• 56:28Matt McCusker?

  Just him as like a cherubic kind of Greek thing and like a pig lady and him being like, yeah, have you got it funny?

• 56:35Speaker 00

  The arch is sick.

• 56:36Matt McCusker?

  The arch does look sick as fuck. Yeah, it does look nice. And I agree with you, we should start building cool new statues. Yeah.

• 56:42Speaker 00

  We do need cool stuff.

• 56:43Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. But stuff, it's tough to agree now, back in the day, it was like consensus, like, yeah, throw up a fucking.

• 56:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, throw up cool shit.

• 56:49Matt McCusker?

  Now it's like, well, hold on, we should do one of ladies that cleaned the mall and you're like, yeah, okay, fucking cool. Throw up the ladies that cleaned the mall statue, awesome, alright, we're all stoked, obviously. There they are.

• 57:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, the statue of Sherman in Central Park, I always go pay homage to it.

• 57:08Matt McCusker?

  That's awesome.

• 57:08Speaker 00

  We need this.

• 57:09Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 57:10Speaker 00

  We used to have cool shit.

• 57:11Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's fucking tight.

• 57:12Speaker 00

  It's so sick.

• 57:13Matt McCusker?

  That's tight. That is great. Some cities still haven't, I, I, I wish I knew more about like the, the, you know, symbology of like your horse's hooves, if two hooves are up, if it's reared up, like what that means, I like that stuff.

• 57:24Speaker 00

  They tell you that at Gettysburg.

• 57:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 57:25Speaker 00

  Pretty exciting, but then there's a couple statues that don't follow it.

• 57:28Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 57:29Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 57:29Matt McCusker?

  Knock them down.

• 57:30Speaker 00

  I, I agree.

• 57:31Matt McCusker?

  I'm gonna topple them.

• 57:32Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 57:32Matt McCusker?

  I'll be out there with ropes pulling them down.

• 57:33Speaker 00

  You topple them, I'll bring sandals.

• 57:39Matt McCusker?

  But yeah, it's, I, I mean, yeah, again, who knows, I keep, I keep, I'm getting, I'm being a, every news thing I see, I get the new reality, like we're entering the new reality, we've lost, there's now horizontal warfare, it's over the kinetic phase, like dude, shut up.

• 57:53Speaker 00

  I got asked to invest in AI defense.

• 57:56Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah.

• 57:57Speaker 00

  No.

• 57:58Matt McCusker?

  No, no, no.

• 57:58Speaker 00

  Couldn't do it.

• 58:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that would feel.

• 58:00Speaker 00

  I would have done it and then they blew up that school of children and I was like, I can't ever.

• 58:05Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 58:05Speaker 00

  You know how bad I'd feel if I was sitting here in my tighties watching westerns?

• 58:10Speaker 00

  And then it said, breaking. We blew up another school.

• 58:14Matt McCusker?

  I wonder if the AI interface is like.

• 58:15Speaker 00

  I just made ten bucks off that.

• 58:20Matt McCusker?

  When it blows up a school, the screen is like, oops, my bad, you're totally right, that was a girl's school, let's recalibrate, do you want me to blow up something else?

• 58:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like Gwyneth Paltrow's voice. It's like, so sorry.

• 58:35Speaker 00

  You're exactly right on that. That was my bad. Wow, I never considered it like that.

• 58:42Matt McCusker?

  Thought it was a bunch of dudes in there.

• 58:44Speaker 02

  And then, and then when it zooms in, it's Flavor Flav, and it's like, damn.

• 58:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, Bill Burr had a good bit online about human shields. He's like, they're using the kids as human shields. He's like, yeah, fucking wait. He's like, if I want to beat up my neighbor, he's holding his baby. It's like, you know, you gotta wait till he's on the grass so I can like flip him down, the baby bounces. I'm just gonna blast through the baby's head to hit my neighbor. Burr's back. He came back, dude. Hard comeback. He's back. He's 100% full strength.

• 59:15Speaker 02

  Great.

• 59:17Matt McCusker?

  I keep waiting for that Ryder bag now. It's gonna be huge. Dude, wartime Ryder bag? Riyadh? No, I didn't get offered, but I'm saying wartime.

• 59:25Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 59:26Matt McCusker?

  It's gotta be, it's gotta be 3X. Ryder.

• 59:30Speaker 02

  I don't know what the fuck it's called. Oh, that's true. Like for the, for the next year. They're gonna keep doing it.

• 59:34Matt McCusker?

  Next year's Riyadh, mid-war, bro. Woo, boy.

• 59:36Speaker 02

  That is odd. Yeah, there's like, there's like a hazard pay bonus.

• 59:39Speaker 00

  Hacksawed if I go over there, dude. They're gonna need to break out the big saw. Yeah, this guy's fucking huge.

• 59:49Speaker 00

  I'm not going.

• 59:50Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I'm curious who does. Some, people will go, people already went, will go back, because they already withstood the storm.

• 59:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:56Matt McCusker?

  But yeah, mid-war is crazy, dude.

• 59:58Speaker 02

  It is a wild one.

• 59:58Matt McCusker?

  Mid-war will be nuts.

• 1:00:00Speaker 02

  That's like, then you get to feel like 50 Cent performing in Iraq during, you know?

• 1:00:06Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's for the boys.

• 1:00:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, that's what I mean. It's like they'll, people who go will be like, yeah, it was pretty crazy over there. It's like, you're not, you're not 50.

• 1:00:14Matt McCusker?

  I'm gonna do, I would do a thing where I would go like, I'm gonna perform for the troops, but then go to the US government and be like, yeah, you gotta match Riyadh's payback if I want me to.

• 1:00:22Speaker 02

  That's.

• 1:00:23Matt McCusker?

  Guys, because of a $7 trillion budget, you guys can pay me $2 million. Stop complaining, all right? You'll be fine.

• 1:00:29Speaker 02

  That'd be, that's actually a good idea. They might.

• 1:00:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, they would do it.

• 1:00:34Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I have a, there was a, I know somebody who does like technology sales and they said when they deal with the, like the military.

• 1:00:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:41Matt McCusker?

  There's some weird thing where like they'll order the wrong thing, but if it's on a military base, they have to destroy it no matter what. So like millions of dollars of like computer equipment.

• 1:00:49Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 1:00:50Matt McCusker?

  And since, instead of just returning it so it can be reused, they're like, we have to destroy this now.

• 1:00:53Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 1:00:53Matt McCusker?

  Reorder. It's pretty crazy.

• 1:00:55Speaker 02

  That is fucking nuts.

• 1:00:56Matt McCusker?

  Like nothing, they'll be like, dude, whatever. This is what it is. This is, this is protocol.

• 1:00:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, it can, it can't get in the wrong hands.

• 1:01:01Matt McCusker?

  They take it out back and just office space it.

• 1:01:06Speaker 02

  They pay the Indian guys.

• 1:01:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:09Speaker 02

  They go, we're gonna, yeah.

• 1:01:11Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude, that, that and the Madagascar thing, you're just living next to a river of shit, literally a river of sewage.

• 1:01:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:18Matt McCusker?

  And every day is rising. You're like, yeah, it's gonna be my fucking.

• 1:01:20Speaker 00

  Please fix it.

• 1:01:21Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:01:21Speaker 00

  That bothered me so much.

• 1:01:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's.

• 1:01:23Speaker 00

  Don't do anything else. No soccer today, fellas. It's sandbag day. We're gathering sandbags to put along the shit river. And we're doing that every day until somebody fucking starts digging a trench somewhere.

• 1:01:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, that would also like bother, cause it's like, like 10 feet, there's a fence and then there's really nice houses.

• 1:01:44Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I saw that.

• 1:01:46Speaker 02

  They're gonna start.

• 1:01:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, they're going through that fence.

• 1:01:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:48Speaker 00

  So there was, after my third summer of the shit flood. Like, and no one's helping with plumbing.

• 1:01:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:56Speaker 00

  It's time to go over the wall.

• 1:01:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like, there's like a.

• 1:01:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:00Speaker 02

  Like a Chinese diplomat.

• 1:02:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:02:02Speaker 02

  And his wife. It's like, I'm gonna go eat them.

• 1:02:08Speaker 02

  Like, I'm pissed off.

• 1:02:11Matt McCusker?

  It's time to fi, yeah, that, yeah, it'd be time to infiltrate this, do your thing.

• 1:02:16Speaker 00

  At least get in the pool.

• 1:02:17Matt McCusker?

  True. Just washing off the shit.

• 1:02:20Speaker 00

  At least go pool hopping at night and get shot.

• 1:02:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Can I just, can I just wash the shit off my family, please? That's all I'm trying to, my family's covered in shit right now. And you have a pool and I like to just wash the shit off me. The chlorine will actually kill the shit. They just need to chlorinate that river. There you go.

• 1:02:36Speaker 02

  Oh, nice.

• 1:02:36Matt McCusker?

  Chlorine bobbers.

• 1:02:38Speaker 00

  That would help.

• 1:02:38Speaker 02

  And then the skimmer.

• 1:02:39Matt McCusker?

  A little bit.

• 1:02:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:02:40Matt McCusker?

  Skimmer, yeah, skim the shit, skim the turds, anything chunky. That's a lot of gators though.

• 1:02:44Speaker 02

  It's like that.

• 1:02:45Speaker 00

  That's a gator pool, dude. And once monsoon season comes. Oh no. The Gators get loose.

• 1:02:52Speaker 02

  Superdome.

• 1:02:54Speaker 00

  Gators.

• 1:02:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that that was, India was pretty nuts looking. Madagascar was not as bad. India took the cake. That was.

• 1:03:02Speaker 00

  It was tough.

• 1:03:02Matt McCusker?

  Just dudes in like little like tiny courtyards just grinding up plastic.

• 1:03:07Speaker 02

  There's just not a free inch of.

• 1:03:11Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 1:03:12Speaker 02

  It's, everything is used.

• 1:03:13Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:14Speaker 02

  Noble, but too crowded for me.

• 1:03:16Matt McCusker?

  No, the dude, the two go hot curry, plastic bags.

• 1:03:19Speaker 02

  Oh, I forgot about that.

• 1:03:20Matt McCusker?

  That fucked me up, dude. There's just forty bags on the floor. Just, it's just like they're ghost kitchens over there.

• 1:03:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, true.

• 1:03:27Matt McCusker?

  Just forty fucking bags of steaming hot curry.

• 1:03:30Speaker 02

  It's sort of a bag like this big.

• 1:03:31Matt McCusker?

  Thing, yeah.

• 1:03:32Speaker 02

  It's like a plastic bag and then it's like soup. It's like the hottest soup you've ever seen in your life. And they just pour it in and.

• 1:03:39Speaker 00

  And that was a good job.

• 1:03:40Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, true.

• 1:03:41Speaker 00

  Of the jobs we saw, the guys in Indian style.

• 1:03:44Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 1:03:46Matt McCusker?

  I am jealous when I see them, how they can just chill on a floor like that. I'm like, damn, I can never do, my hip flexors are way too tight.

• 1:03:52Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 1:03:53Matt McCusker?

  My hip flexors are purely western from sitting in chairs.

• 1:03:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:56Matt McCusker?

  I like that.

• 1:03:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's nice to know, to be like, I'm not meant for, I'm supposed to be sitting in.

• 1:04:01Speaker 00

  A chairman.

• 1:04:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm supposed to be sitting in a chair.

• 1:04:03Matt McCusker?

  Someone call it civilized.

• 1:04:04Speaker 02

  Yeah. It's an officer's pose.

• 1:04:07Matt McCusker?

  Matt.

• 1:04:08Speaker 00

  Sorry.

• 1:04:09Matt McCusker?

  Matt.

• 1:04:10Speaker 00

  Sorry.

• 1:04:11Matt McCusker?

  How dare you. I'm the only one I know that wants to go to India. I want to go.

• 1:04:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, while we were watching, Matt was like, I want to go to India.

• 1:04:16Matt McCusker?

  I want to go to India so bad.

• 1:04:17Speaker 02

  I think you'd like it spiritually.

• 1:04:19Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I think it'd be sick. It's supposed to be.

• 1:04:20Speaker 00

  I think that spirituality would get the fuck out the window when it was a hundred fifty degrees.

• 1:04:24Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I've heard, I have heard people have gone there and it's like, I knew a woman who went there and she said it was like, I was scared.

• 1:04:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:31Matt McCusker?

  Heard her friends got off and a dude will just like grab you and like, come here. And you're like, get off me.

• 1:04:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:35Matt McCusker?

  And they'll like bully you to stay in a certain hotel. And like, where are you going? Like, they don't want you to, it's fucked up.

• 1:04:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't like that.

• 1:04:41Matt McCusker?

  It's really, really, yeah, you get, you get a, then the bros come.

• 1:04:44Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 1:04:45Matt McCusker?

  There's, there was one time, there was a, the, I think I've talked about this before, but the, the person I knew was there with her friend. And, uh, she said they were, they were like looking at a thing and the tour guide was like, we have to go right now. There was just a dude, a pack of dudes in, in business cash. Like semi unbuttoned shirts, like, yo, we have to leave. These guys are gonna rape you. We have to leave.

• 1:05:04Matt McCusker?

  So I got, but I don't think, I don't think the bros would get me. You need to club, dude. They might be clubbed up too, though.

• 1:05:11Speaker 00

  They definitely have clubs.

• 1:05:12Matt McCusker?

  Let me tell you something.

• 1:05:15Matt McCusker?

  How can she club?

• 1:05:19Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I remember like, damn, that sucks.

• 1:05:20Speaker 02

  Middle management meeting coming this way. It's all the guys from the office.

• 1:05:25Speaker 00

  I mean, if you get done grinding plastic for 12 hours.

• 1:05:29Speaker 02

  That's true, and then you see.

• 1:05:31Speaker 00

  Some white bitches here on a fucking spiritual journey. You're gonna pay for this.

• 1:05:39Speaker 00

  You're gonna pay for your choices.

• 1:05:44Speaker 00

  Sitting like a fucking catcher for 12 hours, dude. Separating plastics into a fucking wood chipper.

• 1:05:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, taking apart like six engines.

• 1:05:53Speaker 00

  They are killing it on fucking TikTok and, uh.

• 1:05:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:56Speaker 00

  Indian bros are coming up with good shit.

• 1:05:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, I like that guy.

• 1:06:00Speaker 00

  They are very funny.

• 1:06:01Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, we should acknowledge third world privilege. Your videos kind of slap.

• 1:06:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:06:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:05Matt McCusker?

  If you're third world, you get a smartphone. Everyone's like, let me see, I need to see what the hell's going on right now.

• 1:06:10Speaker 02

  True.

• 1:06:11Matt McCusker?

  Pretty tight. It is crazy, those villages that go from like no electricity to smartphones.

• 1:06:16Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:06:16Matt McCusker?

  And just like, yo, here's, that would be, dude, looking through a screen at like an upper middle-class suburban New Jersey in the third world, you might be, you must just be like, dude, what the fuck?

• 1:06:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:06:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:28Matt McCusker?

  What the fuck is that?

• 1:06:29Speaker 02

  It's like.

• 1:06:29Matt McCusker?

  It's gotta be crazy.

• 1:06:31Speaker 02

  It probably feels like a hallucination.

• 1:06:32Matt McCusker?

  It really does.

• 1:06:34Speaker 02

  That's like.

• 1:06:34Matt McCusker?

  Wait, where's your shit river?

• 1:06:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:06:37Speaker 00

  You don't have shit rivers?

• 1:06:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:38Matt McCusker?

  Our shit river runs underground.

• 1:06:40Speaker 02

  It's like you get an ad with like a woman in it, and then it's just immediately, it's like, come here.

• 1:06:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, I need you here, where are you?

• 1:06:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, now, come.

• 1:06:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's hard to fight that reserve as a Westerner.

• 1:06:51Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:06:52Speaker 00

  You understand the technology already.

• 1:06:54Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:06:55Speaker 00

  If I just got Instagram and was looking at girls' pictures, I'd be like, come.

• 1:06:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:00Speaker 00

  Take your shirt off. Take your shirt off, please.

• 1:07:03Matt McCusker?

  I think a bird in a mirror, I'd be like.

• 1:07:08Speaker 00

  Let's be in.

• 1:07:12Speaker 02

  There's like a couple of guys that I I used to do open mics with that are like, they're just American guys, but they're like, they've just lost it and they're just on Twitter. It's just women being like, you know, here's a workout thing and just good morning. Hi. There's one where it's like, I I took a picture of it. There's a lady.

• 1:07:33Speaker 02

  It's like, you're trying to fuck this thick shit with a little dick. And then he was like, good morning. Hi, it's me. I just.

• 1:07:43Speaker 02

  He just used to.

• 1:07:44Speaker 00

  Good morning.

• 1:07:44Speaker 02

  Yeah. Good morning.

• 1:07:46Speaker 00

  My algorithms, yeah, I'm getting the hot babes again.

• 1:07:49Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:50Speaker 00

  And I'm getting so good. I mean, it's like GeoGuessr. I'm good. I can see the. I can see the background of a hot chick's picture and be like, she's in the Gold Coast, Australia. That's why I'm like, British.

• 1:08:04Speaker 00

  Ooh, Nashville. I mean, they're only in five spots.

• 1:08:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:08Speaker 00

  They're in Miami, Nashville, LA, Australia, and uh, what was the other one I just said? England's tossing some.

• 1:08:15Matt McCusker?

  Nashville, yeah, England, England, yeah, they can toss some babes out. Very classical babes. London's like a fashion capital too, so. Yeah, New York, New York babes out. That's where.

• 1:08:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:26Speaker 00

  But they're more like, they're more stylish.

• 1:08:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 1:08:29Speaker 00

  I'm talking about the.

• 1:08:30Matt McCusker?

  I could hit with a super stylish babe.

• 1:08:31Speaker 00

  Tens, Nashville tens, bro. Australia tens.

• 1:08:35Matt McCusker?

  Australia tens are wild. I had a super stylish babe get into my elevator today. I just, I do for real, like crazy, pointy, super shoes, weird, tight, but loose. Dress pants smelled like absolute heaven.

• 1:08:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:48Matt McCusker?

  Came in, I just looked at the floor. I literally looked at the floor. I just went.

• 1:08:51Speaker 02

  I know. It's all you can do.

• 1:08:53Matt McCusker?

  It was literally, I just wanted to excuse me, sorry. I just, I'll just skip my floor.

• 1:08:57Speaker 02

  Were you dirty when she got in the elevator?

• 1:08:59Matt McCusker?

  Huh?

• 1:08:59Speaker 02

  Were you dirty when that happened?

• 1:09:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I was fucking looked like this. I was covered in dirt and she walked in.

• 1:09:06Speaker 00

  You literally were a peasant.

• 1:09:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:09Speaker 00

  In the fields.

• 1:09:12Matt McCusker?

  Didn't even usually, usually I'm like pretty, you know, you guys see me work on the elevator. I'm usually just, I can't help, I'll riz up. I'm rizzling nonstop.

• 1:09:19Speaker 00

  You're happy to chat in the Vader.

• 1:09:20Matt McCusker?

  I'm happy to chat in the Vader. Yeah.

• 1:09:22Speaker 00

  You are Darth Vader.

• 1:09:23Matt McCusker?

  When it's just me, me and a person, I was just dirty in the elevator and I just went, not even gonna try to riz you up at all. Yeah. And it's not like, I just, you know, chat, I chat, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not a jackass.

• 1:09:34Speaker 00

  Of course, of course.

• 1:09:35Matt McCusker?

  I'm just, you know, but you gotta.

• 1:09:36Speaker 00

  You say I'm not a jackass?

• 1:09:37Matt McCusker?

  No, I'm not.

• 1:09:38Speaker 00

  I thought you said I'm not a jackass. I was like, yeah, hell yeah. That's good. No, I like that.

• 1:09:42Matt McCusker?

  I was like being a jackass, talking to girls in the elevator.

• 1:09:44Speaker 00

  I'm just saying hello.

• 1:09:45Matt McCusker?

  These guys saw, these guys saw the lady, lady was rizzling me up a little bit in the elevator. Whoa. Were you there? I don't know if you guys were there. The mayor was there. Yeah. I have a couple, I have elevator buddies. I have a couple of elevator buddies I see all the time.

• 1:09:57Speaker 00

  What fucking elevators are you guys on?

• 1:09:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. It's in my, my office apartment.

• 1:10:00Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 1:10:01Matt McCusker?

  So when we do the podcast there, I'll bring the team, I bring the team there. My elevator buddies see my team. Yes. Start chatting me up.

• 1:10:10Matt McCusker?

  That's true, yeah.

• 1:10:10Speaker 00

  Oh god. Yeah, they probably, yeah. Lord knows what you're doing.

• 1:10:15Matt McCusker?

  I know. We just scream and shout.

• 1:10:17Speaker 00

  I think you're an OF man.

• 1:10:18Matt McCusker?

  Maybe, they could. I, I've thought about it before.

• 1:10:23Speaker 00

  They might like and subscribe.

• 1:10:24Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, next time we have the cams in my elevator with my elevator buddies, call me Anaconda.

• 1:10:30Matt McCusker?

  Yo, Anaconda, where do we go with the cams? Like, yo, yo, chill, chill, chill. I'm with my elevator buddies.

• 1:10:33Speaker 00

  Not right now.

• 1:10:36Speaker 00

  Anaconda squares.

• 1:10:42Matt McCusker?

  I actually get riz with the best of them in the elevator, but this, I was so dirty and this lady just came on and she was like mean too. She came on with a mean face and I just went, I'm just gonna look.

• 1:10:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, a lot of those fashion babes are mean.

• 1:10:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, she was a mean babe, dude. Very pointy, sharp features. I went, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Nope, nope, nope. My life, you are not, not my squad.

• 1:11:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:11:03Matt McCusker?

  Septum pierced babes, not my squad either. We rarely get along.

• 1:11:07Speaker 00

  I agree.

• 1:11:07Matt McCusker?

  Rarely, dude.

• 1:11:08Speaker 00

  I only really run into them at, while they're bartending.

• 1:11:11Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:12Speaker 00

  And they're the meanest.

• 1:11:13Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude, they're fucking mean as hell. Mean as hell, you already know they're gonna be like, it's like, alright, bro. Take that shit out of your fucking head. Pick a side, pick a fucking side, dude. What the, what the fuck is this? Take it out. Take it out right now. Pissing me off.

• 1:11:29Matt McCusker?

  I know you complain on TikTok or whatever. That's all you do is when you get that and you're like,

• 1:11:34Matt McCusker?

  shut up. A lot of bartenders film their shifts now. You know that? They film them and they time lapse them.

• 1:11:40Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:11:42Matt McCusker?

  Day in life and it's just like.

• 1:11:44Speaker 02

  It's me the whole time.

• 1:11:54Matt McCusker?

  Do they?

• 1:11:55Speaker 00

  That's crazy.

• 1:11:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you were telling me that.

• 1:11:56Speaker 00

  You can't fucking livestream at a bar.

• 1:12:00Speaker 00

  That's not fair.

• 1:12:02Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:02Speaker 00

  It's supposed to be a safe haven for saying stuff.

• 1:12:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, for real.

• 1:12:06Speaker 00

  You're supposed to say the worst things there.

• 1:12:08Speaker 02

  I would like.

• 1:12:08Speaker 00

  Speaking of dude, I guess guys saying when they're wrongfully caught saying the wrong things. This Donald Sterling thing's been making me laugh.

• 1:12:17Matt McCusker?

  What happened?

• 1:12:18Speaker 00

  It's just an old uh thing he said during his deposition.

• 1:12:24Speaker 00

  Uh, well, whatever. I'll try to find, but he's like, when, when, when a beautiful woman hits on me and sucks on me and it lets me know she cares about me and the limo driver. And I get in a limo and she gets naked and starts sucking my toes and sucking on me. And I say, thank you for making me feel good. And then the next line in the deposition is like, the question was, is that your handwriting?

• 1:12:50Speaker 00

  Pretty classic, dude.

• 1:12:51Matt McCusker?

  That's awesome.

• 1:12:52Speaker 00

  It's gone, dude. I like to get sucked in limos.

• 1:12:53Matt McCusker?

  Suck it on me.

• 1:12:54Speaker 00

  All my, I get sucked in a limo on the way to Mr. Coon's house.

• 1:12:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's Mr. Coon's house. He's going to.

• 1:13:00Matt McCusker?

  What was he in a deposition for?

• 1:13:02Speaker 00

  Probably getting caught saying the N word. I don't even think he said the N word. He just said, he didn't even say the N word, dude.

• 1:13:09Speaker 03

  He didn't want his lady posting, yeah, that's what it was. He said, don't post pictures with them.

• 1:13:13Speaker 00

  As fellas.

• 1:13:14Speaker 03

  I look, I never said, I never said nothing was wrong with it.

• 1:13:17Speaker 00

  Say he's innocent.

• 1:13:19Speaker 03

  I've been, I've been, I said that when I was a kid. I was like, he's, I was, I was like, he's, he's taking pictures with other bitch, with other dudes. Like, that's, that's a no go. And they're basketball players.

• 1:13:30Speaker 00

  And it's courtside without him.

• 1:13:32Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:32Speaker 00

  He's like, look, you can take him to the games. I don't care if you hang out with him. Stop fucking posting pictures.

• 1:13:36Speaker 03

  I think he even said, I don't care if you fuck him. I think he was like, I don't even care if you have sex with him. Just stop.

• 1:13:39Matt McCusker?

  He was getting his balls broken, dude.

• 1:13:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:13:41Matt McCusker?

  Like, oh, your wife's saying, oh, Mr. Anticon did it again.

• 1:13:45Speaker 00

  Every day, posting a picture with Mr. Hannah.

• 1:13:48Matt McCusker?

  If you're like a seven year old white guy, it does kinda suck if your wife's constantly taking pictures with giant black guys. He's getting ribbed, that's the thing. He's like, I'm getting ribbed. Stop.

• 1:13:59Speaker 02

  It's like, yeah, everywhere I turn, people are like, I get out of the limo, Mr. Coon's house. It's like, your wife is.

• 1:14:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:14:06Speaker 02

  Your wife.

• 1:14:06Speaker 00

  He was just getting his feet and dong sucked in the limo.

• 1:14:09Speaker 02

  True, that's true.

• 1:14:10Speaker 00

  So that probably also bothered him too. Everyone was like, you're a fucking cock. And he's like, bro, I'm getting so much pussy.

• 1:14:14Matt McCusker?

  He's so much, what are you talking about?

• 1:14:15Speaker 00

  I'm fucking hurt. So stop fucking talking to me like that.

• 1:14:21Matt McCusker?

  It's also funny, cause you know, he like really, he was like, alright, I gotta bro, it's a sensitive subject, how do I broach it? So he's probably practicing in the limo, he's getting like his feet sucked. He's like, I'll be like, I don't have anything against black guys. Just chill with the pics, alright?

• 1:14:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:14:33Matt McCusker?

  It's a weird look for me. How do you think, put yourself in my shoes?

• 1:14:35Speaker 02

  Yeah. Did he, did he ever go to the games? Or did he just like?

• 1:14:40Speaker 00

  I'm not sure.

• 1:14:40Speaker 02

  He just owned the team, I guess.

• 1:14:41Matt McCusker?

  Probably chilled outside and got sucked in the limo.

• 1:14:43Speaker 00

  Sucked in the limo on the way to my school.

• 1:14:45Speaker 02

  Wow. Yeah, he's like, yeah, the Clippers aren't very good.

• 1:14:47Speaker 00

  Getting sloppy.

• 1:14:48Matt McCusker?

  I've been saying it, you gotta bring limos back. Nobody rides in limos anymore.

• 1:14:52Speaker 02

  I know, it's, it is like, uh.

• 1:14:54Matt McCusker?

  Nobody does.

• 1:14:55Speaker 02

  I was just talking with somebody about that. Yeah, they, they look like silly now to people.

• 1:14:59Matt McCusker?

  They look crazy, dude.

• 1:15:00Speaker 02

  They're funny.

• 1:15:00Matt McCusker?

  You have a 30 foot car.

• 1:15:02Speaker 02

  They're so funny.

• 1:15:03Speaker 00

  What, limos?

• 1:15:03Matt McCusker?

  Limos. But you could get them, it'd be sick to bring them back.

• 1:15:06Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:15:07Matt McCusker?

  Just chill in the limo, phone in the limo.

• 1:15:09Speaker 00

  I need a new car, I might get one just a limo and drive.

• 1:15:12Matt McCusker?

  The limo drive.

• 1:15:15Speaker 00

  Just fucking try to parallel park.

• 1:15:19Matt McCusker?

  He's pulling a stretch hover into Whole Foods.

• 1:15:23Speaker 00

  Oh, he said worse things than he thought?

• 1:15:24Matt McCusker?

  Oh no.

• 1:15:25Speaker 00

  What else? Hold on, let's go over it. Cause I thought the gist of it was like, come on, chill.

• 1:15:28Matt McCusker?

  That's what I thought it was too. It starts with, uh, don't bring black people and don't come to my games, he told her is one of them. Cause she recorded all, she did sneak, that's the part that bothers me too.

• 1:15:38Speaker 00

  That was also a little annoying.

• 1:15:39Matt McCusker?

  She sneaky recorded him in his house, which is, that's not fair. But it also says, it bothers me that you wanna promote, broadcast, that you're associating with black people, which, that was, that was kinda rough. I didn't believe it.

• 1:15:50Speaker 00

  Alright, nevermind. Hold on, let's go ahead and take that one back.

• 1:15:55Matt McCusker?

  Uh, I support them and getting food and clothes and cars and houses. Who, I guess he's talking about owning and like.

• 1:16:00Speaker 00

  Was he goofing? Cause sometimes, sometimes white fellows, we say goofing things.

• 1:16:04Matt McCusker?

  If I, if I remember right, his tone in this wasn't never a goof, it was kind of a pleading tone. Like, come on, babe. If I remember hearing the audio. So he probably was like, he probably being genuine, like.

• 1:16:15Speaker 00

  But how old was he?

• 1:16:16Matt McCusker?

  Uh, how old was he?

• 1:16:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think he was like eighty at the time.

• 1:16:19Matt McCusker?

  Hmm.

• 1:16:22Matt McCusker?

  It's so funny. It's so funny to own the team. You know what I mean? You own it. It's like.

• 1:16:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, that was just a bad job to have for what you were saying.

• 1:16:30Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:30Speaker 00

  Wait, he's still alive? Yes, he's ninety-two. He's still alive.

• 1:16:34Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he was, he was basically telling his wife, like, you don't get high off your own supply.

• 1:16:43Matt McCusker?

  Also, you own the team. It's like, bro, don't be fucking.

• 1:16:45Speaker 00

  Oh, he was courtside. He was at the games.

• 1:16:46Matt McCusker?

  Don't be, you know, don't have him weak in the knees.

• 1:16:49Speaker 02

  That's true.

• 1:16:51Speaker 00

  Damn, and he had a, I think, I mean, she's something.

• 1:16:56Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, she's a Vista Viano.

• 1:16:58Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:59Speaker 02

  She's, um, I actually don't know, but she's not a, she's not a white lady.

• 1:17:04Speaker 00

  Looks like an ex.

• 1:17:05Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he like.

• 1:17:06Speaker 00

  Uprated to.

• 1:17:08Matt McCusker?

  Yo, he had the supermodel. Yeah, I mean, if you have the supermodel, you gotta let your supermodel just do supermodel stuff, dude. You can't be like, hey.

• 1:17:16Speaker 02

  It, yeah, I feel like at that point, it's like, that's what those guys do.

• 1:17:20Matt McCusker?

  He should've just got into it.

• 1:17:22Speaker 02

  That's what I'm saying.

• 1:17:23Matt McCusker?

  He should've been like.

• 1:17:23Speaker 00

  I think he probably was into it, but just was like, don't fucking take pictures.

• 1:17:28Speaker 02

  Oh, I see. Just didn't want it to be public. Yeah, he probably wasn't. Yeah. You're probably right.

• 1:17:32Speaker 00

  He's fucking eighty.

• 1:17:33Speaker 02

  Right?

• 1:17:34Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 1:17:35Speaker 00

  All right.

• 1:17:35Matt McCusker?

  That could be the only way. Sorry.

• 1:17:36Speaker 00

  We gotta go to the page.

• 1:17:37Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah. So, oh, yeah, we got a nice one.

• 1:17:39Speaker 00

  Let's talk rum.

• 1:17:40Matt McCusker?

  Let's go rum. I gotta, I got a lot of stuff. I gotta pee. Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Spotify.

• 1:17:47Speaker 00

  Do it.