Your Possessions Are Not Your Identity

It’s very easy to associate our possessions and our positions with our identity. There’s even an expression to that effect: The clothes make the man. When we have a powerful job, we feel powerful. When the market is hot, we feel like we have a knack for investing. When we are number one in our space, in our industry, in sales, we’re very into checking and monitoring the rankings. When people are saying nice things about us, we revel in it, because of course it’s all true and deserved.📕 Ryan Holiday's new book "Discipline Is Destiny" is out now! We’ve extended the pre-order bonuses for the next week—among them is a signed and numbered page from the original manuscript of the book. You can learn more about those and how to receive them over at Dailystoic.com/preorder. ✉️ Want Stoic wisdom delivered to your inbox daily? Sign up for the FREE Daily Stoic email at https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail📱 Follow us: Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, and Facebook See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. 📢 Share | ⚙️ Manage Subscription

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:03Ryan Holiday?

  Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, where each day we bring you a passage of ancient wisdom designed to help you find strength, insight, and wisdom in everyday life. Each one of these passages is based on the 2,000-year-old philosophy that has guided some of history's greatest men and women. For more, you can visit us, dailystoic.com.

• 0:27Ryan Holiday?

  It's very easy to associate our possessions and our positions with our identity. There's even an expression to that effect, "The clothes make the man." When we have a powerful job, we feel powerful. When the market is hot, we feel like we have a knack for investing. When we are number one in our space, in our industry, in sales, we're very into checking and monitoring the rankings. When people are saying nice things about us, we revel in it, because of course, it's all true and deserved. If everything stays well, it's hard to see what the downside of this approach is, excepting the ego that can often creep in. It's only when the screw turns that we realize how dangerous this has been.

• 1:11Ryan Holiday?

  Because when you associate your identity with externals when things are good, it's impossible not to associate your identity when all those externals are showing you to be a loser, or a fool, or the object of other people's contempt. The Stoics would urge you to remember that things don't make the man. Not now, not ever. Epictetus reminds us that just because someone has more money than you doesn't make them superior. No, only their bank balance is superior. If someone is an eloquent speaker, that doesn't make them better than you either. It just means they have better diction. "You, yourself," he says, "are neither property nor diction."

• 1:55Ryan Holiday?

  No, you're you. And you're not measured or made by externals or anything that is outside your control. What matters is who you are on the inside. What matters is what you do with the choices and situations that are inside your control. What matters is how you ride out the highs and the lows, and ideally are changed by neither of them.

• 2:24Ryan Holiday?

  Being able to control your anger is a difficult but worthwhile goal. It will take time and effort, it won't be free. But by changing your perspective and developing techniques to control your temper, it will ultimately be achievable and life-changing. So take the first step on the path to a calmer and more fulfilling future. Check out "Taming Your Temper: The 10-Day Stoic Guide to Controlling Your Anger." You can just go to dailystoic.com/anger.