MFM Minisode 442

This week’s hometowns include a near-death experience (summer break edition) and shitbag triplets. Support this podcast by shopping our latest sponsor deals and promotions at this link: https://bit.ly/3UFCn1g. See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:06Georgia Hardstark?

  Everyone loves the idea of spending an afternoon curled up with a good book.

• 0:10Karen Kilgariff?

  Well, grow up, because it's almost impossible.

• 0:12Georgia Hardstark?

  Luckily, you can take your next great story with you on Audible.

• 0:15Karen Kilgariff?

  Audible has a massive selection of titles to choose from, including This American Life, new books by Michael Connelly, along with classics from Magathah Christie, and so much more.

• 0:24Georgia Hardstark?

  Whether you want a mystery, a true crime story, or something completely different, there's always something new to listen to.

• 0:29Karen Kilgariff?

  New members can start listening with a 30-day free trial at audible.com/mfm.

• 0:34Georgia Hardstark?

  Audible, stories that speak to you. Goodbye. The Hulu original series Phony is now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+ Sonny's life is pretty great until he wakes up from a car accident to a world that looks exactly like his, with one exception, his mom.

• 0:50Karen Kilgariff?

  Starring five-time Emmy nominee Connie Britton and Sam Nivola, this small town is hiding the mother of all mysteries just beneath the surface.

• 0:57Georgia Hardstark?

  Watch the Hulu original series, Phony.

• 1:00Karen Kilgariff?

  Now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

• 1:04Georgia Hardstark?

  Goodbye.

• 1:22Georgia Hardstark?

  Hello.

• 1:23Karen Kilgariff?

  And welcome.

• 1:24Georgia Hardstark?

  To My Favorite Murder.

• 1:25Karen Kilgariff?

  The minisode.

• 1:26Georgia Hardstark?

  Where we read you your stories.

• 1:28Karen Kilgariff?

  Back to you.

• 1:29Georgia Hardstark?

  Summer edition.

• 1:30Karen Kilgariff?

  Woo woo!

• 1:31Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, these are just some stories that have summer themes.

• 1:34Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 1:34Georgia Hardstark?

  Kind of, lightly, loosely. My first one's called Fourth of July Murders. It starts out a bummer, it ends on a, like, a hopeful note, so.

• 1:42Karen Kilgariff?

  Okay.

• 1:42Georgia Hardstark?

  Here we go.

• 1:43Karen Kilgariff?

  Okay.

• 1:43Georgia Hardstark?

  Dear Georgia and Karen, the Fourth of July fireworks in my hometown of Concord, New Hampshire, attract a large crowd. On July 4th, 2003, amidst 10,000 spectators, Manuel Garing abducted his two children, Philip, 11 years old, and Sarah, 14 years old. Witnesses recall an argument between the dad and daughter, and it was the last place the two kids were seen alive. Garing and his ex-wife Terry were in the middle of a custody battle. The children were staying with Manuel the weekend of the fireworks and Mother Terry returned home on July 6th to find her children had gone missing. Manuel Garing took his two children the night of the fireworks, headed west by car, killed them along the way, buried their bodies, and then continued west until he was located

• 2:26Georgia Hardstark?

  and arrested in Gilroy, California on July 10th. He was returned to Concord, New Hampshire, where he'd be arraigned for interfering with a custody battle and later two counts of first-degree murder. Garing ultimately confessed to the murder, but couldn't remember exactly where he buried the children. On February 19th, 2004, Garing killed himself in his jail cell awaiting his trial after revealing what he could remember about the children's burial site. Information included a rough drawing and other descriptive clues like a chain-link fence, six-foot-tall grass. With this vague information, repeated searches for the bodies were conducted along a 700-mile stretch of I-80 from Pennsylvania to Nebraska.

• 3:09Karen Kilgariff?

  Wow.

• 3:09Georgia Hardstark?

  But the FBI weren't unable to locate the bodies. Terry launched her own search efforts, which included enlisting the public's help to locate her children. She drove around the Midwest, holding press conferences to keep the search for her missing children alive.

• 3:24Karen Kilgariff?

  God, what a horrifying thing to happen to a mother.

• 3:27Georgia Hardstark?

  Heartbreaking. The search caught the attention of an Ohio woman named Stephanie Dietrich, who felt like the details about the burial site could be around her town in rural Ohio. According to an interview conducted by North Carolina Public Radio, Stephanie worked part-time at a grocery store and spent her days off for months looking for the bodies during walks with her dog, Rico. Her efforts paid off because in December of 2005, two and a half years after the kids had gone missing, she located the remains of the Garing children.

• 4:00Karen Kilgariff?

  Holy, wow.

• 4:01Georgia Hardstark?

  I know. To this day, the 4th of July fireworks have a daunting memory for those who grew up in the town at the time of the Garing murders. While we went to different elementary schools, I was the same age as Philip and my brother was in the same grade as Sarah. They would have been... Been 29 and 32 years old if they were still alive. I oddly think of them often despite not knowing them personally. I feel like Stephanie Dietrich would have definitely been a murderino after reading about her and her helping locate the Garing kids. If this gets featured on an MFM podcast and if you're listening, Stephanie, you are a true hero.

• 4:34Karen Kilgariff?

  Yep, you are.

• 4:35Georgia Hardstark?

  Stay sexy. And then it's signed, "A Granite State MFM Fan." And I guess that's what New Hampshire is called, the Granite State.

• 4:41Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, wow.

• 4:42Georgia Hardstark?

  And then it's a, "I'd prefer to be anonymous if this gets featured."

• 4:45Karen Kilgariff?

  Yep.

• 4:47Georgia Hardstark?

  Heavy.

• 4:48Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 4:48Georgia Hardstark?

  Sorry, heavy hitter.

• 4:50Karen Kilgariff?

  But also, what a beautiful thing that, sorry, her name is Stephanie, that donated her time and basically was like, "I'm gonna take this up and try to figure this out."

• 4:59Georgia Hardstark?

  And then having this like sixth sense that you're gonna be able to find it and actually finding it, like what an incredible gift to give.

• 5:06Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 5:06Georgia Hardstark?

  To the mother.

• 5:07Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah. I think people are learning that more and more. It's like, you don't have to know people to care about people. You don't, they don't have to be your best friends or your family.

• 5:17Georgia Hardstark?

  Totally.

• 5:18Karen Kilgariff?

  All right, let's take a little left turn, because this one is actually ridiculous.

• 5:22Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay, I need ridiculous right now.

• 5:24Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, the subject line is "Trash Dad and the Skunk." That's my favorite show from the 80s. And then it just starts, here's the beginning. "Pleasantries in this economy?"

• 5:35Georgia Hardstark?

  I love it.

• 5:36Karen Kilgariff?

  And then it just goes right in. "The scene: It's 1996 in southwest Florida. I'm six years old and about to experience a core memory. Our little house was surrounded by swampy woods and tons of wildlife. Pretty much everything from tortoises, boars, alligators, to fucking feral cats." Oh, sorry, they wrote it, "to feral fucking cats." "One Saturday morning, a skunk the size of a robust Pekingese decided..."

• 6:02Georgia Hardstark?

  God damn it. I love this person, okay.

• 6:04Karen Kilgariff?

  Love them. "...decided to move into our garage. My mom went out to do laundry and saw the skunk and totally freaked out and made my siblings and I stay inside the house to avoid setting it off."

• 6:14Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 6:14Karen Kilgariff?

  "That's not freaking it out. If you've ever been near a skunk, when it goes off, it is one of the most disturbing and long-lasting experiences."

• 6:22Georgia Hardstark?

  Really?

• 6:22Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes.

• 6:23Georgia Hardstark?

  Like the spraying part? I've never, I'm a suburban girl.

• 6:26Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes, it's very bad. The initial spray smells like chemicals.

• 6:29Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 6:30Karen Kilgariff?

  So you're like, whoa, what's that chemical? And then the second wave of it is the skunk smell.

• 6:35Georgia Hardstark?

  That's a really stupid question.

• 6:36Karen Kilgariff?

  Okay.

• 6:36Georgia Hardstark?

  Because I've only seen this happen in cartoons.

• 6:38Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 6:39Georgia Hardstark?

  Is there a visual of the spray?

• 6:42Karen Kilgariff?

  I believe so. I can't say for sure because I've only been, we had it where a skunk sprayed outside of an open window when I lived off Mickeltorina in Silverlake. And that's, so we experienced it purely smell.

• 6:55Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay.

• 6:56Karen Kilgariff?

  Style.

• 6:56Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay.

• 6:57Karen Kilgariff?

  But I think I've seen it where, yeah.

• 6:59Georgia Hardstark?

  Cat sprays, similarly, there's, it's like pee.

• 7:02Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, their tail goes up and then

• 7:04Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay.

• 7:05Karen Kilgariff?

  Stuff shoots out.

• 7:06Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay.

• 7:07Karen Kilgariff?

  So I'm just saying the mom didn't over, because also like we've had dogs and pets and stuff that get sprayed and they smell like that for like two months.

• 7:13Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, I've heard that.

• 7:13Karen Kilgariff?

  Ugh, okay, so. So it says now, "Big mistake. My mom gets my dad to address the unfolding situation. My dad agrees, but needs a drink first. Cue the 12-pack of Bud Light beer.

• 7:26Georgia Hardstark?

  No.

• 7:26Karen Kilgariff?

  Chased with some crisp white wine because culture.

• 7:29Georgia Hardstark?

  What?

• 7:30Karen Kilgariff?

  Uh huh. He drank while blasting Andrea Bocelli.

• 7:33Georgia Hardstark?

  What the, I love him. This is a real slice of 90s life.

• 7:38Karen Kilgariff?

  It is. He had a big Italian opera phase in the 90s. This Florida man's idea, easy. He would use an old roll of carpet that we had in the garage in lieu of a humane trap, which we didn't have. My mom wasn't impressed, but we still went along with it. So essentially the dad's like, "I'll take care of it, but I have to be drunk first."

• 7:57Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 7:57Karen Kilgariff?

  Fair. Can't fight that.

• 7:58Georgia Hardstark?

  You need that liquid courage.

• 7:59Karen Kilgariff?

  Please. So it says, "Italian opera music is blasting from the speakers as his plan unfolds. To get the skunk into the carpet roll, he smears peanut butter all up in there.

• 8:10Georgia Hardstark?

  No.

• 8:10Karen Kilgariff?

  The skunk totally went for it, savoring its surprise peanut butter meal. My now very drunk dad tells my mom to help him carry the carpet roll outside."

• 8:20Georgia Hardstark?

  How did they?

• 8:21Karen Kilgariff?

  The worst fucking idea.

• 8:22Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh my god.

• 8:24Karen Kilgariff?

  "To carry the carpet roll outside with each one holding an end. Together they walk this giant carpet roll over to the woods. My dad then tells my mom to let go of her side and my dad proceeds, and this is in all caps, to tilt the carpet roll up while spinning around as fast as he could.

• 8:42Georgia Hardstark?

  What?

• 8:43Karen Kilgariff?

  The skunk went flying out the other end

• 8:45Georgia Hardstark?

  It worked!

• 8:46Karen Kilgariff?

  Of the carpet roll, like that circus. Act where the guy launches himself out of a cannon.

• 8:51Georgia Hardstark?

  I'm impressed.

• 8:51Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah. My dad, now dizzy in addition to being very drunk, proceeds to drop the carpet roll and book it in a fever zigzag.

• 8:59Georgia Hardstark?

  Yes, zigzag, like he's getting shot at.

• 9:02Karen Kilgariff?

  It's serpentine show. In a fever zigzag away from the scene while yelling for my mom to run. And then it just says, no one got sprayed.

• 9:11Georgia Hardstark?

  I mean.

• 9:12Karen Kilgariff?

  It's a fucking miracle.

• 9:13Georgia Hardstark?

  That's impressive.

• 9:14Karen Kilgariff?

  My siblings and I managed to witness all of this through the window while Time to Say Goodbye by Andrea Bocelli was blasting from the speakers.

• 9:22Georgia Hardstark?

  It's like a movie.

• 9:25Karen Kilgariff?

  It's so good. Cause parents are just people.

• 9:28Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 9:29Karen Kilgariff?

  There's people trying to get.

• 9:30Georgia Hardstark?

  And they're usually just drunk people.

• 9:31Karen Kilgariff?

  Kind of drunk people.

• 9:32Georgia Hardstark?

  I bet mom was a little drunk too.

• 9:33Karen Kilgariff?

  Like, I hope so.

• 9:34Georgia Hardstark?

  Dad's drinking, mom's drinking.

• 9:35Karen Kilgariff?

  I would hope. If you're rightly worried about this innocent skunk, allow me to ease your concerns. The skunk was okay and back in our garage by later that night.

• 9:46Karen Kilgariff?

  They're like, where's that peanut butter?

• 9:47Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh.

• 9:48Karen Kilgariff?

  The next day, my frustrated mom called an animal control company who correctly trapped and humanely relocated it much further out into the Everglades. Because skunks can find their way back home within roughly a five mile radius of wherever they are.

• 10:01Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, amazing.

• 10:02Karen Kilgariff?

  That's kind of nuts. The good old boy who came to trap the skunk cried laughing when my mom told him about my dad's attempt. Thanks for all you do, George and Karen. Thanks to everyone at MFM, Exactly Right, and Steven's Mustache, you legend. I've been listening since your first year and I am so thankful to do life alongside such incredible people.

• 10:22Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh my god. Wow.

• 10:25Karen Kilgariff?

  Stay sexy and don't trust your alcoholic dad with skunk removal of any kind, Jocelyn, she/her. Come on.

• 10:33Georgia Hardstark?

  That's gotta be an MFM animated.

• 10:35Karen Kilgariff?

  That's pretty epic.

• 10:36Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 10:39Karen Kilgariff?

  This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Turning something you love into a career is exciting. Then come the invoices. Lucky for you, Squarespace can handle the business stuff, so you can focus on your business. From consultations to events and experiences, you can showcase your skills with a customizable website designed to attract clients. And grow your business. With Squarespace's collection of cutting-edge design tools, anyone can build a beautiful, professional, online presence that perfectly fits their brand or business. Get paid on time with professional invoices and online payments. Plus, streamline your workflow with built-in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools. Head to Squarespace.com/murder for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code MURDER to save 10% off

• 11:23Karen Kilgariff?

  your first purchase of a website or domain. Goodbye.

• 11:27Georgia Hardstark?

  The Hulu original series Phony is now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+.

• 11:31Karen Kilgariff?

  Sonny's life is pretty great, until he wakes up from a car accident to a world that looks exactly like his, with one exception: his mom.

• 11:39Georgia Hardstark?

  To everyone else, she's the same Ellen they've known their whole lives. But for Sonny, he knows something is off.

• 11:44Karen Kilgariff?

  As his relationship with his mother begins to crack in unsettling ways, he's forced to question what happens when the perfect mom becomes a perfect stranger.

• 11:52Georgia Hardstark?

  Is this all in his head or is there really an imposter in his house?

• 11:55Karen Kilgariff?

  Starring five-time Emmy nominee Connie Britton and Sam Nevola, this small town is hiding the mother of all mysteries just beneath the surface.

• 12:03Georgia Hardstark?

  Watch the Hulu original series Phony.

• 12:05Karen Kilgariff?

  Now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+ for bundle subscribers. Terms apply. Goodbye.

• 12:13Georgia Hardstark?

  OK, my next one's called "My Near-Death Experience: Summer Break Edition."

• 12:17Karen Kilgariff?

  Great.

• 12:19Georgia Hardstark?

  Hi, Karen in Georgia. As the title suggests, I'm writing in about the time I came within a few inches of death. I'm a native Floridian who grew up in Daytona Beach. In high school, I would work summers on a pool deck at a 25-story hotel on the beach here. I had a stand where I would do henna tattoos, hair wraps, and hair braiding. It was such an amazing gig, all cash. I got a killer tan, and I would wear my bathing suit under my clothes so when it got scorching hot in midday, I could just take a quick dip in the pool. I always went down to the boardwalk at night after I got off to get myself a little treat from the ice cream shop before heading home. Those were the days. Rewind to June 2012. The hotel is packed with summer vacationers.

• 13:01Georgia Hardstark?

  Business is booming. I typically set up my stand on the far side of the pool deck, further away from the hotel, but this day, the UV index was very high, so I set up shop closer to the building to hide in its shade. I was braiding a little girl's hair, constantly moving around her as she sat on a stool. I had just taken one step away to get more supplies from my cart, when I heard what I only could have imagined was an explosion right next to me. Immediately, I felt tiny stabs of pain all over my legs and arms. I seriously thought a bomb went off. People ran over to help. The little girl was crying. I had blood dripping from spots on my legs, but no one could really tell what happened. Security quickly made their way over and started looking at the ground around us,

• 13:45Georgia Hardstark?

  noticing large and small chunks of rock. They seemed to recognize this scene as they both went from looking at the rocks on the ground to looking up at the balconies above our head.

• 13:57Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh.

• 13:58Georgia Hardstark?

  Security continued their investigation while I closed up my cart for the day, happy to be alive. I was picking small rocks out of my calves when they finally returned an hour or so later with what had happened. They went room to room, floor by floor, directly up from where my stand was, looking for people that were in those rooms. This turned out to be pretty easy, since it was midday in the summer, so most people were out on the beach or on the pool deck, except for one room. An older grandma tasked with watching her grandson while the parents enjoyed a lunch to themselves. You're making a fucking uh-oh face and you are correct.

• 14:31Karen Kilgariff?

  I'm so worried.

• 14:33Georgia Hardstark?

  After some questioning, security learned that grandma might not have had a very close eye on the boy while he was playing on the balcony, and the, all caps, "grapefruit-sized rock" was now missing. This is a 25-floor hotel.

• 14:47Karen Kilgariff?

  That he basically threw a boulder off the roof.

• 14:49Georgia Hardstark?

  Totally.

• 14:50Karen Kilgariff?

  Holy shit.

• 14:50Georgia Hardstark?

  Onto the deck, the pool deck below, full of people vacationing.

• 14:56Georgia Hardstark?

  That's right. This kid yeeted his enormous pet rock over the balcony of the 23rd floor, directly above my stand. Based off of the markings from where it hit the ground, if I hadn't stepped away right when I did to get something from my cart, it would have hit me, certainly leading to my demise.

• 15:13Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh my god.

• 15:14Georgia Hardstark?

  Fast forward 12 years. I'm an international airline pilot, using your voices to keep me company during my commutes and during my nap breaks while crossing the Atlantic.

• 15:23Karen Kilgariff?

  Hey.

• 15:24Georgia Hardstark?

  Damn.

• 15:25Karen Kilgariff?

  You go from a henna tattoo artist to a pilot.

• 15:28Georgia Hardstark?

  So proud of you.

• 15:29Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes, great job.

• 15:29Georgia Hardstark?

  Stay sexy and don't let your grandson play with citrus-sized rocks on a balcony unsupervised, or it just might end in attempted murder. Cora Jo, she/her.

• 15:39Karen Kilgariff?

  Cora Jo, first of all, you were meant to be an international pilot.

• 15:43Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 15:44Karen Kilgariff?

  Because, good lord.

• 15:45Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 15:46Karen Kilgariff?

  That's so scary and crazy.

• 15:48Georgia Hardstark?

  That's some Final Destination shit right there.

• 15:50Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 15:53Karen Kilgariff?

  So scared to fly on those flights. It's so crazy. Okay, the subject line of this email is "Shitbag Triplett Sister Story."

• 16:01Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay.

• 16:02Karen Kilgariff?

  And then it starts, "Hello fellow shitbags, I'm a triplet." That's gonna be my new icebreaker at parties.

• 16:09Georgia Hardstark?

  Hello fellow shitbags.

• 16:10Karen Kilgariff?

  I'm a triplet. Yes, three girls, one womb, endless chaos. We fought so much growing up that my mom practically begged the school to separate us into different classrooms, like we were volatile lab chemicals.

• 16:23Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh my god.

• 16:24Karen Kilgariff?

  And then it says, "Spoiler, we were." But this story isn't about school. It's about one fateful day when, in a miraculous turn of events, we decided to get along. That's when everything goes wrong.

• 16:36Georgia Hardstark?

  That's a, that's a red flag right there for mom.

• 16:38Karen Kilgariff?

  Watch out. If you're always fighting with someone and suddenly everything's going great.

• 16:42Georgia Hardstark?

  If it's quiet and everyone's smiling.

• 16:44Karen Kilgariff?

  Nope.

• 16:44Georgia Hardstark?

  You're in for it.

• 16:45Karen Kilgariff?

  Our activity of choice? Playing jail. Because, obviously, because obviously, nothing says bonding like simulated incarceration. As the youngest, I was naturally assigned the role of prisoner.

• 16:57Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 16:58Karen Kilgariff?

  The youngest of triplets.

• 16:59Georgia Hardstark?

  It doesn't even matter. Like, you could be two minutes younger and you're the youngest and treated that way.

• 17:04Karen Kilgariff?

  We need pecking orders.

• 17:05Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 17:06Karen Kilgariff?

  As human beings. What followed was less game and more like a low-budget psychological thriller. My lovely sisters duct taped me to a chair, shoved a sock into my mouth, taped over that for good measure.

• 17:19Georgia Hardstark?

  What the fuck?

• 17:20Karen Kilgariff?

  Tipped me over and locked the door behind them.

• 17:24Georgia Hardstark?

  Wow. Dana. That is sinister.

• 17:27Karen Kilgariff?

  What kind of content were these children watching to know how to do that? From inside. So yeah, no escaping, no screaming, no rescue mission incoming. I lay there for a solid 30 minutes, face to floor, marinating in betrayal and foot carpet. Eventually, they picked the lock with a paper clip and graciously released me, laughing like villains straight out of a Disney movie. Anyway, stay sexy and try not to get psychologically booby-trapped by your own bloodline. Thanks, Alex. She/her.

• 17:58Georgia Hardstark?

  My brother strategically tied some knots around our door handles that ended up locking my sister and I in our room. Like, there were no locks, but he was so smart that he just, like, figured this thing out and then said, "You have to drink this if you want to get out," and squeezed what looked like an innocent cup of orange juice. But hey, look, that's a raw egg bobbing in it. You have to drink it if you want to come out. I know how she feels.

• 18:23Karen Kilgariff?

  Asher, Asher.

• 18:26Georgia Hardstark?

  The Hulu original series Phony is now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+.

• 18:31Karen Kilgariff?

  Sonny's life is pretty great, until he wakes up from a car accident to a world that looks exactly like his with one exception: his mom.

• 18:39Georgia Hardstark?

  To everyone else, she's the same Ellen they've known their whole lives, but for Sonny, he knows something is off.

• 18:44Karen Kilgariff?

  As his relationship with his mother begins to crack in unsettling ways, he's forced to question what happens when the perfect mom becomes a perfect stranger.

• 18:52Georgia Hardstark?

  Is this all in his head, or is there really an imposter in his house?

• 18:55Karen Kilgariff?

  Starring five-time Emmy nominee Connie Britton and Sam Nivola, this small town is hiding the mother of all mysteries just beneath the surface.

• 19:03Georgia Hardstark?

  Watch the Hulu original series, Phony.

• 19:05Karen Kilgariff?

  Now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+ for bundle subscribers. Terms apply. Goodbye. Sometimes being a little salty is completely justified.

• 19:14Georgia Hardstark?

  Pair your salty side with something sweet with the new Salted Caramel flavor from Kachava.

• 19:19Karen Kilgariff?

  Kachava is a whole-body shake with plant-based protein, fiber, greens, and other nutrients to help fill nutritional gaps.

• 19:26Georgia Hardstark?

  Just two scoops provide complete nutrition your body craves with protein, fiber, greens, and so much more.

• 19:32Karen Kilgariff?

  Their new Salted Caramel flavor combines sweet caramel with a little salt. So you get that salty, sweet balance along with the nutrition Kachava is known for.

• 19:40Georgia Hardstark?

  When the day demands your salty side, fuel it with plant-based protein that actually tastes delicious.

• 19:45Karen Kilgariff?

  I really do love Kachava and I really do think it does taste delicious for getting you through the morning, filling in the gap if you just need some protein and you need some vitamins. It's such a nice little treat.

• 19:56Georgia Hardstark?

  It's such an easy way to get everything you need and it tastes good, too, which is just huge bonus.

• 20:01Karen Kilgariff?

  So embrace your salty side.

• 20:02Georgia Hardstark?

  Go to kachava.com and use code MFM for 15% off your first order.

• 20:07Karen Kilgariff?

  That's Kachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A dot com, code MFM. Goodbye.

• 20:14Georgia Hardstark?

  Well, because here on My Favorite Murder, it's hot dog summer.

• 20:17Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 20:18Georgia Hardstark?

  I'm gonna do a hot dog story.

• 20:19Karen Kilgariff?

  Great.

• 20:20Georgia Hardstark?

  And it's just, I don't know, it's just a time and a place and I kind of love it. Starts, my ladies. An ode to the great American hot dog and a new invention by my friend Jamie. This is a story about this. It was long ago in the summer of 2009. I was rapidly aging in San Francisco, clinging on to the last gasp of my twenties before I had to grow up and not be a slimy bartender anymore, who did cocaine and underberg shots for dinner every night.

• 20:46Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, you had to do something.

• 20:47Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah. I had a gorgeous asymmetrical haircut and a fixed gear bike. I probably would have dated you for sure.

• 20:53Karen Kilgariff?

  In San Francisco, especially in that time, it's a little after my time, a little bit. But man, that was the look and feel.

• 21:00Georgia Hardstark?

  It was fixed gear bikes with, oh my god.

• 21:02Karen Kilgariff?

  That seat up real high was like somebody that's tall.

• 21:04Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 21:05Karen Kilgariff?

  We were just like, that's scary.

• 21:06Georgia Hardstark?

  The bar you go into, I bet it's Zeitgeist. There's this bar called Zeitgeist in San Francisco that is just for bike messengers.

• 21:12Karen Kilgariff?

  I think it's still there.

• 21:13Georgia Hardstark?

  It's definitely still there. I fucking love it. Okay. I wore skinny jeans and looked so fucking cool with my little useless bandana around my neck that I got to sleep with a new person every other night on my floor mattress. It was the best, but I am glad it's over now. Are you? Sometime during this era, my bartender friends and I set up a barbecue out back by the dumpsters behind the bar we worked at. I don't know where we forged it from, but it was a little black weather and we used to get those huge packs of shitty hot dogs and buns from the grocery outlet. And keep them in the fridge and just make hot dogs for ourselves all the time during, after and before our shifts. We used to give them to bar customers who we quote liked, who were regulars, like it was some cool ass club or something. Like, we'll let you in

• 21:58Georgia Hardstark?

  on this dumpster hot dog club. You're welcome.

• 22:00Karen Kilgariff?

  This sounds fucking familiar to me.

• 22:02Georgia Hardstark?

  Does it?

• 22:03Karen Kilgariff?

  It does, but maybe it's just that kind of thing of like bartenders who are like, you're a regular and you're in our group, so you get this weird thing that you're drunk, so you're excited to get it.

• 22:12Georgia Hardstark?

  The drawing room had like a crock pot full of hot dogs with hot dogs, hot dog water, didn't it?

• 22:16Karen Kilgariff?

  Did it?

• 22:17Georgia Hardstark?

  I think it did. I ate them. Okay. One time, early on, we made a batch of dogs at the end of our shift and we were all getting ready to go. Some of us to party elsewhere or to our dealer's house with our tips from a night's earnings. Dirt bags. I love a dirt bag. And my buddy Janie picks up a dog, eats it in two bites, then takes another hot dog and shoves it into the front pocket of his jeans, bare, no wrapping, and just looks at us and says, "Pocket dog for later."

• 22:48Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh.

• 22:48Georgia Hardstark?

  Then he swings his skinny legs onto his bike, finishing the last gulp of Pabst Blue Ribbon and just rides away on his bike.

• 22:55Karen Kilgariff?

  And 2009, Karen Kilgariff faints dead away and cries to herself as she walks home.

• 23:00Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, my god.

• 23:01Karen Kilgariff?

  I loved, I love Pocket Dog Guy so much.

• 23:04Georgia Hardstark?

  I love him. He's an inventor. He invents things. He's so clever.

• 23:10Karen Kilgariff?

  Creative.

• 23:10Georgia Hardstark?

  He's creative and clever. You don't understand.

• 23:12Karen Kilgariff?

  We have to go watch his Bandit Slims.

• 23:14Georgia Hardstark?

  I asked him the next day if he ever ate the Pocket Dog and he said, "Hell, yeah, it was great." The end. No fucking way I'm signing my name. I'm an adult now.

• 23:26Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, my god.

• 23:28Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 23:29Karen Kilgariff?

  That was such an epic sketch of being 20 in San Francisco.

• 23:33Georgia Hardstark?

  Late aughts, 20, San Francisco.

• 23:35Karen Kilgariff?

  I just can't get over how we truly were living off the fountain of land and we had no idea.

• 23:39Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 23:40Karen Kilgariff?

  We had it so good.

• 23:41Georgia Hardstark?

  We did.

• 23:42Karen Kilgariff?

  All right, the subject line of my last email is Guinea pig sinkhole.

• 23:45Georgia Hardstark?

  Great.

• 23:46Karen Kilgariff?

  Hey, a formerly repressed memory leapt to the forefront of my brain and it made me think, maybe this is an MFM story. I gotta say, the people that write in emails to this podcast are really good writers.

• 23:58Georgia Hardstark?

  They are.

• 23:59Karen Kilgariff?

  Like, that fucking story that that person just told us.

• 24:02Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 24:03Karen Kilgariff?

  I lived it.

• 24:04Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 24:04Karen Kilgariff?

  I could see it.

• 24:05Georgia Hardstark?

  I could smell the hot dogs.

• 24:06Karen Kilgariff?

  The pocket dogs.

• 24:07Georgia Hardstark?

  And the fucking dumpster and the beer. I could smell it all.

• 24:10Karen Kilgariff?

  I could smell the hipsterism and the elitism.

• 24:13Georgia Hardstark?

  And the unwashed masses.

• 24:16Karen Kilgariff?

  And the emotional withholding.

• 24:17Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay.

• 24:18Karen Kilgariff?

  Okay, so this story has everything: a pet guinea pig, a sinkhole, and general mortification. When my brother and I were in elementary school, our family got suckered into taking home the school's guinea pigs during summer break. And then the science teacher refused them back at the beginning of the next school year.

• 24:34Georgia Hardstark?

  No, that's illegal.

• 24:35Karen Kilgariff?

  So Thelma and Louise officially became part of our family.

• 24:40Karen Kilgariff?

  They had a little car.

• 24:41Georgia Hardstark?

  Children's pets named Thelma and Louise, like, okay.

• 24:46Karen Kilgariff?

  Their dad built a tiny cliff into that hamster cage. As an eight-year-old, I thought this was hitting the jackpot. And then in parentheses, it says, "When I called my mom to confirm this story, she distinctly remembers not sharing our enthusiasm." They were already old by guinea pig standards when they came to us, and about a year after the school refused them, Thelma passed away at the vet. Louise had already been struggling herself, and I think in true write-or-die fashion, once it was clear that Thelma wasn't coming back, Louise passed away too.

• 25:15Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh.

• 25:17Karen Kilgariff?

  No, it's not so funny.

• 25:19Georgia Hardstark?

  I know. Why are you laughing?

• 25:20Karen Kilgariff?

  I don't know. My brother and I hadn't been able to say goodbye to Thelma, so we wanted to give Louise a proper send-off. We wrapped her in an old hand towel and put her in our finest shoebox. However, we were city kids who only knew concrete sidewalks and brick patios. So my mom gave us permission to bury Louise in one of the garden plots at her office building that had a little recreational patio area.

• 25:44Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, no.

• 25:45Karen Kilgariff?

  We visited over the weekend so we could have our private guinea pig funeral service and buried her under a small tree among. The Ivy. Fast forward a couple of weeks later and my mom shows up to work where there is quite a commotion in the back patio. A sinkhole had opened up and taken the small tree and other surrounding flora down with it.

• 26:04Georgia Hardstark?

  What?

• 26:05Karen Kilgariff?

  There was fear that the entire patio itself was now unstable and undoubtedly the office smokers were extremely put out. While the building superintendent and city officials closed the patio and excavated the sinkhole, my mom was sweating bullets waiting for someone to find that makeshift rodent coffin.

• 26:23Georgia Hardstark?

  They created the sinkhole, right? Like they disturbed the ground.

• 26:28Karen Kilgariff?

  They never found the coffin.

• 26:30Georgia Hardstark?

  Phew.

• 26:31Karen Kilgariff?

  Did Louise truly deep dive into the depths? We will never know. And my mom swore my brother and I to secrecy about Louise's final resting place. It's now a few decades later and my mom is mostly over it, but I can only imagine the dread that incident caused her.

• 26:46Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, my god.

• 26:47Karen Kilgariff?

  Like, how? How would that be the reason? But still.

• 26:51Georgia Hardstark?

  It's the only reason.

• 26:52Karen Kilgariff?

  It's the only reason.

• 26:53Georgia Hardstark?

  It's the only reason. How to be the reason? How do they not find it? That's fucking Louise forever. I love it.

• 26:58Karen Kilgariff?

  But if Louise was the cause, maybe she dropped first.

• 27:01Georgia Hardstark?

  Yes.

• 27:01Karen Kilgariff?

  If there was some cavern.

• 27:02Georgia Hardstark?

  Definitely.

• 27:03Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah. As I have learned through sinkhole study.

• 27:06Georgia Hardstark?

  She went to live her best life. At the bottom of the sinkhole.

• 27:09Karen Kilgariff?

  There's like those caves.

• 27:11Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 27:11Karen Kilgariff?

  Like a huge cave thing. There is a full-on aggressive gnat in here.

• 27:15Georgia Hardstark?

  In this fucking, okay.

• 27:16Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, it's coming at us.

• 27:19Karen Kilgariff?

  And then it just, the sign off here is called before you dig, folks, 811. Cheers, Courtney.

• 27:25Georgia Hardstark?

  I also, the fact that the mom came home and told like the children.

• 27:28Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 27:29Georgia Hardstark?

  You know what I mean? Like, they don't, actually didn't need to know that and they would have never known.

• 27:32Karen Kilgariff?

  Yep.

• 27:33Georgia Hardstark?

  But.

• 27:33Karen Kilgariff?

  But she's like, well, guess what?

• 27:35Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 27:36Karen Kilgariff?

  Guess what you did? Guess what your goddamn school did to us by making us take these pets?

• 27:41Georgia Hardstark?

  Tell us your traumatizing stories from childhood, please, at myfavoritemurder@gmail.

• 27:47Karen Kilgariff?

  Don't forget it's hot dog summer.

• 27:48Georgia Hardstark?

  That's right.

• 27:49Karen Kilgariff?

  Live your best hot dog life, pocket dog style. Stay sexy.

• 27:52Georgia Hardstark?

  And don't get murdered. Goodbye.

• 27:56Karen Kilgariff?

  Elvis, do you want a cookie?

• 28:04Karen Kilgariff?

  This has been an Exactly Right production.

• 28:06Georgia Hardstark?

  Our senior producers are Alejandra Keck and Molly Smith.

• 28:09Karen Kilgariff?

  Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.

• 28:11Georgia Hardstark?

  This episode was mixed by Liana Scolacci.

• 28:13Karen Kilgariff?

  Email your hometowns to [email protected].

• 28:16Georgia Hardstark?

  And follow the show on Instagram at MyFavoriteMurder.

• 28:19Karen Kilgariff?

  Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 28:23Georgia Hardstark?

  And now you can watch us on Exactly Right's YouTube page. And while you're there, please like and subscribe.

• 28:28Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye.

• 28:35Speaker 02

  OnDeck is built to back small businesses like yours. Whether you're buying equipment, expanding your team, or bridging cash flow gaps, OnDeck's loans up to $400,000 make it happen fast. Rated A+ by the Better Business Bureau and earning thousands of five-star TrustPilot reviews, OnDeck delivers funding you can count on. Apply in minutes at ondeck.com. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by OnDeck or Celtic Bank. OnDeck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amounts subject to lender approval.

• 29:03Karen Kilgariff?

  Calling all amateur detectives and podcast obsessives.

• 29:07Georgia Hardstark?

  Virgin Voyages' second true crime voyage sets sail March 20, 2027, for a five-night escape to Grand Turk and the Beach Club at Bimini.

• 29:15Karen Kilgariff?

  As part of the On Air at Sea collection, this immersive sailing brings together fan favorite podcasts, including Disgrace Land, Buried Bones, and Wisecrack, for live recordings, behind-the-scenes access, exclusive meet and greets, and crime-themed programming that you won't find anywhere else.

• 29:31Georgia Hardstark?

  All aboard our award-winning, kid-free ships.

• 29:34Karen Kilgariff?

  Head over to virginvoyages.com/truecrime to secure your spot.

• 29:38Georgia Hardstark?

  Goodbye.

• 29:40Speaker 03

  Sponsored by GSK, the makers of Extenture, Depamocumab ULAA. If your asthma keeps interrupting, it may be time to try something else. Extenture is an ultra-long-acting prescription-maintenance treatment for severe asthma, eosinophilic type, ages 12 and older. It isn't for sudden breathing problems. Extenture is the first and only add-on treatment that can help deliver protection from asthma attacks with two doses a year. Just one dose every six months. That's a lot of time for everything in between. Serious allergic reactions can occur. Get help right away for swelling of face, mouth, tongue, or trouble breathing. Don't change or stop medicines, including steroids, unless told by your doctor. Report if you have a parasitic infection.

• 30:23Speaker 03

  Common cold, sinus infection, inflammation in the nose, flu or flulike symptoms, joint pain or sore throat may occur. Carry on with fewer attacks and ask your doctor about Extenture. Learn more at extenture.com or call 1-833-393-3678.