Liv Reads Homer: The Odyssey (A Modern Translation!) Books 20 and 21

Liv reads Books 20 and 21 of Homer's Odyssey, translated by Ian Johnston. It's time for Odysseus and Penelope to have a little chat, before things really kick off. This modern translation is used with immense gratitude to translator Ian Johnston and Vancouver Island University https://johnstoniatexts.x10host.com/homer/odysseytofc.html. Submit questions and prompts for future Odyssey readings at mythsbaby.com/questions http://mythsbaby.com/questions and get ad-free episodes and so, so much more, by subscribing to the Oracle Edition at patreon.com/mythsbaby http://patreon.com/mythsbaby CW/TW: far too many Greek myths involve assault. I try to provide direct warnings when there is reference to anything with overtly traumatic themes but be aware that Greek mythology regularly features assault, death, and many other potentially triggering events. This is not a standard narrative story episode, it's a reading of an ancient source, audiobook style. For regular episodes look for any that don't have "Liv Reads..." in the title! Attributions and licensing information for music used in the podcast can be found here:mythsbaby.com/sources-attributions http://mythsbaby.com/sources-attributions. Learn more about Liv's next group trips https://travelbugxlivalbert.my.canva.site/ to GREECE! Application deadline is November 30 (Subject to change due to demand). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Liv Albert?

  Hey nerds, really quick note from me. I want to tell you that we now have the applications open for the next set of listener group trips. This is us going back to the original, the trips that we have held in the past that have been so much fun, so successful, and pretty affordable in terms of wandering around Greece with a bunch of nerds. So check out the details and get your applications in at mythsbaby.com/grouptrip.

• 0:43Speaker 01

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• 1:16Speaker 02

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• 2:37Liv Albert?

  Hello, this is Let's Talk About Myths, baby, and I am your host, Liv, here with another com- not another conversation episode. What am I talking about? Guys, it's early, but I'm here with another reading episode. And you should all know that there is an anchovy in my lap right now, which is incredibly rare, and I imagine fleeting. You're unlikely to hear from him, because he's just weird like that. But I think you should know that he's here. And we are back with another reading episode, returning to Odysseus, where things are getting closer and closer to absolute carnage. Now, where we last left off, remember,

• 3:18Liv Albert?

  it was only Telemachus who knew that Odysseus was there, and he was really Odysseus. But then, Eurykalia, the faithful, the good slave, bleh, she recognized him because of a little scar that Odysseus has on his leg, and which has a whole ass backstory that we also got to hear last time. Odysseus and Telemachus had begun to put their plan into action. They hid the weapons and prepared for, well, what's to come.

• 4:18Liv Albert?

  This is Homer's Odyssey, Book 20, translated by Ian Johnston and used with immense gratitude to Vancouver Island University. I don't have an Animo shout out today, but thanks, guys.

• 4:37Liv Albert?

  So Lord Odysseus went to the portico to sleep. Underneath, he spread an untanned hide and on top fleeces from many sheep slaughtered for sacrifice by the Achaeans. Your enemy spread cloaks on him once he lay down to rest. But still, he could not sleep. His heart was hatching destruction for the suitors. Then servant women went from the hall, all the slaves who earlier had enjoyed sex with the suitors. They were laughing, having fun with one another. Odysseus in his chest was stirred, his mind and heart enraged in fierce debate whether he should charge out and put each one to death, or allow the suitors to

• 5:18Liv Albert?

  make love with them one final time. Inside him, his heart was growling, just as a bitch stands snarling above her tender pups when she sees anyone she does not recognize and is prepared to fight. That's how, in his anger, the heart within him growled at their shameless acts. But he struck his chest and said, rebuking in his own heart, "Hang on, my heart. We went through troubles worse than this that day. The cyclops, in his frantic rage, devoured your courageous comrades. You held out then, until your cunning led you from that cave,

• 5:59Liv Albert?

  where you thought you would die." He said these words to calm the heart within his chest, and his spirit submitted, bravely resolving to endure it all. He still tossed and turned back and forth, just as a man eager to roast a stomach stuffed with fat and blood turns it quickly round and round on a blazing fire. That's how Lord Odysseus tossed and turned, wondering how he might get the haughty suitors in his grip, one man against so many. Then Athena came, moving down from heaven, looking like a woman. She stood above his head and spoke to him, saying, "Why now, you most ill-fated of all men?

• 6:42Liv Albert?

  Are you awake? This is your home. Your wife lives in this palace. So does your child, whom anyone would pray for as a son." Resourceful Odysseus then answered her and said, "Yes, goddess, everything you say is true, but the heart inside my chest is anxious. How can I handle the shameful suitors? Just a single man against so many. And in the house, they're always in a group. There's something else my heart is thinking of. It's more important. If I do kill them, with Zeus's help and yours, how do I find a way of making my escape? That point, I'd like you to consider." Then the goddess, bright-eyed Athena, gave him

• 7:22Liv Albert?

  her reply, "You stubborn man. Men put their trust in weaker friends than me, in a mortal man who lacks my wisdom. I'm a god, and I'm there to protect you to the end of your ordeal. I tell you, to make things clear, if there were fifty groups of other men standing here around us intent on slaughter, even so, I say, you'd still drive off their cattle and fine sheep. Let sleep take hold of you. To stay awake, remain alert all night, will tire you out. These are harsh times, but you'll soon make it through." Once Athena spoke, she poured sleep on his eyelids. Then the lovely goddess went back to Olympus. While

• 8:05Liv Albert?

  sleep, who brings relief to troubled human hearts, relaxed his mind, his faithful wife woke up and wept, sitting up on her soft bed. But after her heart had had its fill of crying, the lovely lady began by uttering a prayer. "Artemis, royal goddess, child of Zeus, how I wish you'd shoot an arrow in my chest right now and take my life, or that storm winds would come, lift me up, carry me away from here, across the murky roads, and cast me out in ocean's backward-flowing stream, just as those storms snatched Pandarus's daughters, whose parents the gods killed, thus leaving them orphans in their home. Fair

• 8:50Liv Albert?

  Aphrodite cared for them, while Hera bestowed on them beauty and wisdom beyond all women. Artemis made them tall, and Athena gave them their skills and famous handicrafts. But when fair Aphrodite went away to high Olympus, petitioning Zeus, who hurls the thunderbolt, so that the girls could find fulfillment in a happy marriage, for Zeus has perfect knowledge of all things, what each man's destiny will be or not, spirits of the storm snatched away the girls and placed them in the care of hateful furies. How I wish those gods who hold Olympus would do away with me like that, or else that fair-haired Artemis would strike at me. So, with my husband's image in mind, I could descend beneath this

• 9:35Liv Albert?

  odious, odious, bleh."

• 9:38Liv Albert?

  I could descend beneath this odious earth and never bring delight of any kind to the heart of some inferior man. But when someone laments all day, his heart thick with distress, and sleep holds him at night, he can endure that. Sleep makes him forget all things good and bad, once it settles down across his eyelids. But some god sends me bad dreams as well. This very night, again, a man who looked like him lay down with me, just as he was when he sailed with the fleet. My heart rejoiced, I thought it was no dream, but finally the truth. Penelope finished, then dawn appeared on her golden throne. As she wept, Lord Odysseus heard her and lost himself in thought.

• 10:23Liv Albert?

  To his heart she seemed to know him, and was standing beside his head. Gathering up the cloak and blankets he had been lying on, he placed them on a chair inside the hall. He took an oxhide from the house, set it on the ground, and, raising his hands high up, made this prayer to Zeus. "O, Father Zeus, if you wished to bring me over land and sea to my own land, after loading on me so much distress, let someone in the house wake up and say something in there for me. Provide an omen, and, outside the house, let there appear another sign from Zeus." That is what he prayed, and counselor Zeus heard him.

• 11:04Liv Albert?

  And once he thundered down from glittering Olympus, from high beyond the clouds. Lord Odysseus rejoiced, and then some slave women at the nearby grinding stones sent out a word of omen from inside the palace, where the shepherd of his people placed his millstones. At these grinding stones, twelve women used to work, making barley meal and flour, which feed men's marrow. The other women had already milled their wheat and were asleep, but this one, weaker than the rest, had not yet finished. She paused, set the stone aside, and uttered a prayer, an omen for her master. "Father Zeus, who governs both gods and men, you've thundered loud, high in the starry

• 11:48Liv Albert?

  sky, and yet there's not a single cloud up there. You must be offering a sign to someone. I'm a poor wretch, but what I have to say, oh, make that happen. May these suitors here, for the last and final time this very day, have a fine dinner in my master's home. Those men have hurt my knees with their hard task of this making flour. May this meal be their last." She spoke. That word of omen and Zeus's thunder made Odysseus happy. He thought he'd be revenged on those malicious men. Inside Odysseus's home, other women slaves were up, making tireless fire inside the hearth

• 12:29Liv Albert?

  as young god-like Telemachus rose from bed, put on his clothes, and on his shoulders slung a keen-edged sword. On his shining feet he tied his lovely sandals. He picked up a sturdy spear with a sharp bronze point, went out to the threshold, stood there, and said to Euroclaea, "My dear nurse, have you shown our guest respect inside our home? With bed and food, or is he lying there unattended to? That's how my mother is. She's wise, but she seems to deal with people at random. Some inferior mortal man she'll honor, while someone more distinguished she'll send away with no respect at all." Wise Euroclaea then answered him, "My child, don't blame her now about such things.

• 13:14Liv Albert?

  That man sat drinking wine as long as he could wish. He said he had no appetite for food. She asked him. He thought of going to get to bed to get some sleep, so she told the women to spread out bedding. But like some poor wretch familiar with hard times, he had no wish to lie down under blankets on a bed. So he stretched out on the portico to sleep, on sheep fleeces and an untanned oxhide. And then we threw a cloak on top of him." Once she'd finished, Telemachus went through the hall, spear in hand, with two swift dogs accompanying him. He went to join the group of finely dressed Achaeans. Then that good nurse Euroclaea, daughter of Ops, Piszenor's son, called out, summoning female slaves.

• 13:56Liv Albert?

  "Come on, some of you get busy in here, sweep the halls and sprinkle it. Spread out purple covers on these well-fashioned chairs. And you others, wipe down all those tables with wet sponges. Clean up the mixing bowls, those finely crafted, double-handed cups. And you women, get water from the spring, carry it back here, and do it quickly. The suitors won't be absent from this hall for very long. They'll be back really soon. Today's a banquet day for everyone." As Euroclaea spoke, they listened carefully, then acted on her words. Twenty of the women went to the dark water spring, the others stayed there, busy working diligently throughout the house. Then the men who served the Achaean lords arrived.

• 14:40Liv Albert?

  While they were working with great skill chopping firewood, the women who had gone off to the spring returned. Behind them came the swineherd, leading in three hogs, the best of all he had. He turned them loose to feed inside the splendid yard, while he talked to Odysseus with words of reassurance. "Stranger, these Achaeans, do they have any more regard for you? Or in these halls are they insulting you, the way they did before?" Shrewd Odysseus then answered him and said, "Well, Eumaeus, I hope the gods pay back the injuries arrogant men so recklessly have planned in another's home, with no sense of shame." As these two were talking to each other in this way, Melanthius, the goat herd, came

• 15:22Liv Albert?

  up close to them, leading the very finest she-goats in his flock, part of the suitors' feast. The herdsman came with him. He tied the goats up by the echoing portico, then started once more hurling insults at Odysseus. "Stranger, are you still bothering us here, inside the house, begging from the people? Why don't you get out? I think it's obvious we two will not say goodbye, not until we've had a taste of one another's fists. The way you beg is not appropriate. Achaeans do hold feasts in other homes." Melanthius spoke, but shrewd Odysseus said nothing. He shook his head in silence. Deep within his heart he was planning trouble. Then a third one joined them, Philetius, an outstanding man, bringing a sterile heifer

• 16:07Liv Albert?

  and plump goats for the suitors. Some ferrymen, who transport passengers across, whoever comes to them, had brought them over from the mainland. He tied these animals with care below the portico, went up to Eumaeus and questioned him in person. "Swineherd, who's the man who has just come to this house? What people does he claim to come from? Where are his family and his native land? He's had bad luck, but in his appearance, he seems just like a noble king. But still, the gods bring miseries to wandering men, whenever they spin their threads of trouble, no matter if they come from royal blood." Once he had said these words, he walked up to Odysseus, held his right hand out in greeting, and spoke to him.

• 16:51Liv Albert?

  His words had wings. "Greetings, honored stranger. Though you are facing many troubles now, may you find happiness in future days. O, Father Zeus, none of the other gods is more destructive than you are. For men, once you yourself have given birth to them, you have no pity. You plunge them into painful hardships and abject poverty. When I recall Odysseus and think of him, I start to sweat. My eyes fill up with tears. For he, I think, is dressed in rags like these, roaming among men somewhere, if indeed he's still alive, looking at the sunlight. If he's already dead and down in Hades, then I grieve for excellent Odysseus, who, when I was a boy, put me in charge of cattle herds in Cephalonia.

• 17:36Liv Albert?

  Their numbers now are more than one can count. This breed of broad-faced cattle has increased more than it could in any other way for a different man. Now strangers tell me to drive the cattle in for their own meals. They do not care about the sun in there, or tremble at the vengeance of the gods? They are too keen to share amongst themselves my master's goods. He's been away so long. And as for me, the heart here in my chest keeps turning over many things. It's bad, truly bad, while his son is still alive, for me to leave here with the cattle herds and move away to some other region, to groups of strangers. But it's even worse to stay here, putting up with what's not right, herding his cattle for these other men.

• 18:20Liv Albert?

  In fact, I would have run off long ago to one of the other high-minded kings, for things are now unbearable. But still, my poor master is always on my mind. Perhaps he'll come home from some foreign place and send the suitors packing from his home." Resourceful Odysseus then answered him and said, "Herdsmen, you don't appear to be a man who's bad, or one who lacks intelligence, for I can sense your sympathetic heart. And so I'll swear a mighty oath to you. I'll speak the truth. Let Zeus be my witness, first among the gods and this guest table, and the hearth of excellent Odysseus, to which I've come. While you are in these halls, Odysseus will come home.

• 19:01Liv Albert?

  With your own eyes you'll see the suitors killed, if that's your wish, those men who act as if they own the place." The cattle herder answered him, "Ugh, stranger, how I wish Cronos's son might bring about what you've just told me. Then you would find out how strong I am and what my hands can do." Eumaeus also prayed like that to all the gods for Odysseus to return to his own home. As they were talking in this way to one another, the suitors were making plans against Telemachus, scheming to bring him to a fatal destiny. But then a bird went soaring past them on their left, an eagle flying high gripping a trembling dove. So Lord Amphidamas addressed them all

• 19:45Liv Albert?

  and said, "My friends, this plan to kill Telemachus will not proceed the way we want it to. We should instead prepare to have our feast." Amphidamas spoke. The suitors agreed with him, so they went inside godlike Odysseus's home, threw their cloaks on stools and chairs, and sacrificed big sheep and fattened goats. They killed the plump swine too, and the heifer from the herd. They roasted entrails, passed them around, and blended wine in mixing bowls. The swine herd handed out the cups. Philetius, an outstanding man, brought bread in a fine basket, and Melantheus served the wine. Then the suitors reached out to take the fine food set in front of them. Thinking

• 20:28Liv Albert?

  it might be advantageous, Telemachus sat Odysseus down inside the well-constructed hall beside the entrance made of stone. He set down there a modest stool and table, and placed before him a share of inner organs. Then he poured some wine in a golden cup and said, "Sit here for now, among these men. Drink your wine. I myself will protect you from all the suitors' insults and their fists. This is not a public house, but a home belonging to Odysseus. He acquired this place for me. You suitors make your hearts do not encourage you to jibes and blows, so that no arguments or fights will happen in this hall." As he said this, the suitors bit their lips. They were all astonished Telemachus had talked

• 21:11Liv Albert?

  to them so forcefully. Then Antinous, son of Epithys, spoke to them. "Achaeans, what Telemachus has said is challenging, but let's accept his words, although his speech is a bold threat to us. For Zeus, son of Cronos, has not given his permission or come within these halls. By this time, we'd have put a stop to him for all his clear-voiced talk." Antinous spoke, but Telemachus paid no attention to his words. As Harold led sacred offerings to the gods down through the city, long-haired Achaeans gathered in the shadowy groves of archer god Apollo. They cooked the outer flesh and pulled away the spits, then passed

• 21:53Liv Albert?

  around the meat and had a splendid feast. The servers placed beside Odysseus a portion, matching what they themselves received. Telemachus, lord Odysseus's son, had given them those orders. But there was no way Pallas Athena would permit those proud suitors to hold back their bitter insults, so that Odysseus Laertes's son would suffer still more heartfelt pain. Now, among the suitors, there was man who had a lawless heart. His name was Ctesippus, and he made his home in Samy. Relying on his prodigious wealth, he courted the wife of Odysseus, who had been away so long. He now shouted to the overbearing suitors, "You noble

• 22:35Liv Albert?

  suitors, listen to me now. I've got something to say. This stranger here has had, for some time, had an equal portion, as is right, since it's by no means proper, nor is it just, for Telemachus's guests to go without, no matter who it is who shows up at the house. So now I too will provide a present to welcome him. Then he, for his part, can pass it along to a bath attendant or some other slave here in the home of the great Odysseus." As he said this, his strong hand picked up an ox-hoof from the basket where it lay, and then he threw it. But by quickly pulling his head back, Odysseus dodged the throw. In his heart, he smiled with bitter scorn. The gristle hit the solid wall. Telemachus

• 23:18Liv Albert?

  then went at Ctesippus and said, "Ctesippus, in your heart, you well, you know well what's good for you. That, that must be why you did not hit the stranger. All in his own, he made you miss your target. Otherwise, I'd have taken up my sharp spear and rammed you in the chest. Then your father would be here planning for your funeral and not a wedding feast. So none of you make any show of trouble in my house. For now, I am observing every detail, both good and bad. I know what's going on. Before now, I was still a foolish child, but we must look on and bear these things, the slaughtered sheep, the wine and bread consumed. It's hard for one man to restrain a crowd. Come now, no

• 24:00Liv Albert?

  longer show me such ill will or give me so much trouble. If you're keen to kill me with your swords, that's what I'd choose. It would be far better to meet my death than constantly to watch these shameful deeds, strangers being abused, and female slaves dragged through this lovely home. It's a disgrace." Telemachus finished. They all sat in silence, saying nothing. Then Agoleus, Demastor's son, at last spoke up. "My friends, no man could answer what's been so justly said and in his rage respond with words provoking enmity. So don't insult the stranger anymore, or any of the servants in this home belonging to godlike Odysseus. Still, to Telemachus

• 24:44Liv Albert?

  and to his mother, I have some reassuring things to say, which both their hearts should find agreeable. As long as you had in your heart some hope that wise Odysseus would return back home, no blame attached itself to you by waiting, holding off the suitors here in your home. This was the better choice, if Odysseus had returned and come back to his palace. But surely, it's already clear by now, he won't be coming back, not anymore. So come, sit down by your mother. Tell her to choose whoever is the finest man and offers the best bridal gifts. And then, you can enjoy all your paternal goods. They are yours to keep, all the food and wine, while she looks after someone else's home."

• 25:29Liv Albert?

  Shrewd Telemachus then answered him and said, "I swear to you, Agoleus, by Zeus and by the sufferings of my father, who's perished or is wandering around somewhere far from Mithica, there's no way I'm trying to delay my mother's marriage. I tell her to marry any man she wants, and I'll give her innumerable gifts. But I'm ashamed to drive her from the home against her wishes, to give an order which forces her to leave. I hope the god will never bring about an act like that." Once Telemachus had spoken, Pallas Athena roused them all to laughter with no sense of control. She unhinged their minds, so that the laughing from their mouths came

• 26:11Liv Albert?

  from an alien source, and the meat they ate became blood-sputtered. Their eyes filled up with tears. All their hearts were filled with thoughts of lamentation. Then godlike Theoclimenus addressed them all. "Oh, you miserable men, what troubles are you feeling now? Your heads, your faces, your lower limbs are shrouded in the night. You're on fire with grief, faces wet with tears. Fine pedestals and walls have gobs of blood. The porch is full of ghosts. So is the yard, ghosts rushing in the dark to Erebus. Up in the sky, the sun has disappeared, and evil mist is shrouding everything."

• 26:55Liv Albert?

  Theoclimenus said these words, but they all laughed, enjoying themselves at his expense. The first to speak was Eurymachus, son of Polybus. "He's mad, this stranger who's just recently arrived from some far-off land. So come on, young men, hurry. Carry him outside the house, so he can make his way to the assembly, since he believes it's like the night in here." Godlike Theoclimenus then said in reply, "Eurymachus, I'm not requesting you to furnish me with guides. I've got my eyes and my two feet, and here inside my chest, I've got a mind that's not made for a fool. I'll go outside with these, for I can see you're

• 27:36Liv Albert?

  headed for disaster. No suitors who, in the home of the great Odysseus, mistreat others and plan their reckless schemes, will be able to avoid it or escape." After he said this, he left the stately palace and went to Peraeus, who gladly welcomed him. The suitors all looked around at one another and tried to hurt Telemachus with mockery, laughing at his guests. Some insolent young man would make a comment using words like these. "Telemachus, no one is more unlucky with his guests than you are. You have a man like this one, a dirty tramp, in need of food and wine, with no work skills or strength, just a burden on the land. Then some other man stood here spouting prophecies.

• 28:21Liv Albert?

  You'd be better off to follow my advice. Let's throw these guests on board a well-decked ship and send them off to Sicily. You'd get good prices there." That is what the suitors said, but Telemachus paid no attention to their words. He kept quiet, looking at his father, keeping his eyes on him, ready for the moment his hands struck the suitors. But wise Penelope, Acharius's child, was sitting in a lovely chair across from them, and heard what each man in the hall was saying. While they kept on laughing, the men prepared the food, butchering many beasts to satisfy their hearts with a fine feast. But there would never be a meal more sorrowful than the one the mighty warrior

• 29:05Liv Albert?

  and the goddess would set before them very soon, a feast the suitors earned for their disgraceful acts.

• 29:28Liv Albert?

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• 30:09Liv Albert?

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• 30:54Liv Albert?

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• 32:15Speaker 01

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• 33:05Liv Albert?

  Oh, and that was, uh, book one, which this was a quick one, so we'll absolutely do another book today. But in the meantime, oh, here with a little quick ad break. I don't have any new questions from you all, so as usual, if you have any ongoing questions about the Odyssey, feel free to submit them either in the Spotify comments or at mythsbaby.com/questions. Or if you just have general questions, you can submit them all there. We have voice note options as well, and I will do those on a future Q&A episode. But in the meantime, really, I just want to point out, uh, one thing that really stood out to me in this first half is the way that Odysseus seems to be almost more disturbed by the fact

• 33:47Liv Albert?

  that enslaved women are having sex with the suitors than he is, like, the suitors existing, which is just the most cliche and yet unsurprising thing in the world. And I have to say, this translation, I don't love those aspects of it, especially when he used bitch when he literally just meant female dog. Like, there wasn't even an insult. It was just like, no, it's just a dog. It was just a dog that happens to be female. Um, but it's so interesting to hear the way the enslaved women are viewed, and the way it's just like, no, no, they were laughing, and therefore they loved it, and therefore they should be punished. And

• 34:30Liv Albert?

  it's like, these, these women are enslaved. And I just, I guess that's just, uh, the nature of coming at this from today, but you're just like, my God. And I also assume with this little reference to Sicily we got at the end there, that Sicily would have been a place for trading slaves, because that seems like why they suggested it. Now, remember Sicily at this time, and southern Italy, the southern tip of Italy generally? Well, I guess not at this time, but at the time that this is ever being written down, you know, um, was a Greek colony. And, and so it's like a far-off Greek colony where

• 35:09Liv Albert?

  I imagine, especially due to its, like, uh, proximity to other areas, particularly Africa, um, that it was just a place where a lot of people were trading the people that they forcibly enslaved, either by wartime, or just abduction, general trafficking. Ah, the ancient world. It's so different from the modern world. That was light. That was light. Anyway, I'm recording this early in the morning, and I'm just generally enjoying the reading, so that's it for my little ad break ramble question answering period. There wasn't really any questions. Um, again, we only have, uh, like, three or four books

• 35:51Liv Albert?

  left. So if you have any more questions that I can answer during these, uh, in the future episodes, please do let me know, because it's nice when I have somewhere to guide me, and, um, not just to be like, oh, the horrors, you know? You know? Anyway, back to it.

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• 38:37Liv Albert?

  Bright-eyed Athena then placed inside the heart of wise Penelope, Acharius's daughter, the thought that she should set up in Odysseus's halls the bow and gray iron axes for the suitors, as a competition and prelude to their deaths. She climbed the lofty staircase to her upper rooms, picked up in her firm grip a curved key made of bronze. It had an ivory handle fashioned with some great skill. With her attendance she went off to a storeroom in a distant corner of the house where they kept her lord's possessions, bronze and gold and iron, all finely crafted work. His well-sprung bow was there, and quivers too, with many death-dealing arrows.

• 39:20Liv Albert?

  Presents he had received from Iphitus, his friend, son of Eurytus, a man like the immortals, when they met in Lacedaemon in Messene, at the home of wise Ortyllicus. Odysseus had gone there to collect a debt the people owed. Messenean men had run off with three hundred sheep, seizing the shepherds too, and then left Ithaca in their ships with many oars. In response to this, Odysseus, who was just a young lad, had been sent a long way by his father and other senior men, part of an embassy. Iphitus was searching for twelve mares he'd lost, along with some sturdy mules still on the teat. In later years these animals brought him a fatal destiny, the day he met the mortal

• 40:03Liv Albert?

  Hercules, Zeus's great-hearted son, who knew all there was to know about great exploits. Hercules slaughtered him, although he was a guest in his own home, a cruel man who did not care about God's anger or the welcoming table he'd set before them. After their meal Hercules killed Iphitus and kept the mares with him at home for his own use. While Iphitus was inquiring about these horses, he got to meet Odysseus and offered him the bow. Earlier this weapon belonged to mighty Eurytus, who, when he died, left it to his living son in his high-roofed home. Odysseus had given him a keen-edged sword and a powerful spear as well. This was the start of their close friendship.

• 40:47Liv Albert?

  Iphitus gave Odysseus that bow of his, but the two men never bonded as mutual guest friends. Before that could take place Hercules had murdered Iphitus, Eurytus's son, a godlike man. Odysseus did not take the bow whenever he set off in his black ships to fight. It lay there in his home as a memorial to a dear friend and for his use in Ithaca. When fair Penelope came to the storeroom, she crossed the wooded threshold. A long time ago the skillful craftsman planed it, set it straight and true, then fitted doorposts and set shining doors in place. Penelope swiftly took the looped thong from its hook, put in the key, and with a push shoved back the bolt.

• 41:31Liv Albert?

  Just as a bull grunts when it grazes in a field, that's how the door creaked as she pushed it with the key, and it quickly swung ajar. Then she clambered up onto the planking where they kept the storage trunks in which they showed their fragrant clothing. There she stretched to take the bow in its bright case down from its peg. Then she sat down, placed the bow case across her knees, and wept aloud, as she took out her husband's bow. When she'd had enough of her laments and tears, she went down to the hall to join the noble suitors, holding in her hands the well-sprung bow and quiver with many pain-inflicting arrows. And with her came some attendant slaves carrying in a chest lots of iron and bronze,

• 42:16Liv Albert?

  her husband's battle gear. Once the lovely lady reached the suitors, she stood beside the doorpost of the well-constructed hall with a bright veil covering her face. On either side stood attendant women. Then Penelope addressed the suitors with these words: "Listen to me, bold suitors, who've come, been ravaging this home with your incessant need for food and drink, now that my husband's been away so long. The only story you could offer up as an excuse is that you all desire to marry me and take me as your wife. So come now, suitors, since I seem to be the prize you seek, I'll place this great bow here, a weapon that belonged to brave Odysseus.

• 42:57Liv Albert?

  Whichever one of you can grip this bow and string it with the greatest ease, then shoot an arrow through twelve axes, all of them, I'll go with him, leaving my married home, this truly lovely house and all these goods one needs for living, things I'll remember even in my dreams." When she'd said this she told Eumaeus, the good and faithful swine herd, to set the bow and iron axes for the suitors. With tears in his eyes, Eumaeus took the weapons and laid them out. Philetius, the goat herd, was weeping too, in another spot, once he saw his master's bow. Then Antinous addressed them both with his reproach: "You foolish bumpkins, who only think of what's going on today, what a wretched pair! Why start weeping now?

• 43:42Liv Albert?

  Why stir the heart inside the lady's chest? Her spirit lies in pain now that she's lost the man she loves. So sit and eat in silence, or go outside and weep. Leave the bow here, the contest will decide among the suitors. I don't think it will be an easy feat to string that polished bow. Of all men here, no one is like Odysseus used to be. I saw him for myself, and I remember, though at the time I was a little child..." Antinous spoke. In his chest his heart was hoping he would string the bow, and with it shoot an arrow through the iron. But in fact he would be the first to taste an arrow from brave Odysseus's hands, the very man he was disgracefully shaming as he sat in the hall inciting all his friends.

• 44:26Liv Albert?

  But then among them, Telemachus spoke out with royal authority: "Well now, Zeus, son of Cronos, must have made me foolish. My dear mother, although quite sensible, says she'll be leaving with another man, abandoning this house, and I just laugh. My witless heart finds that enjoyable. So come, suitors, since your prize seems to be a woman who throughout Achaean land has no equal, not in sacred Pylos, Argos, Messene, or on the mainland, or in Ithaca itself. But you know this, so I do not need to praise my mother. Come on now, do not delay this contest with excuses, or use up too much time diverting your attention from this bow. Then we'll see. I might try the bow myself, if I can string it and shoot an arrow through the iron.

• 45:09Liv Albert?

  I won't get so upset, when my royal mother has to leave here with another man. I'd be leaving behind as someone capable of picking up my father's prizes in a competition." As he said this, Telemachus quickly threw off the purple cloak covering his back, then jumped up and removed the sharp sword hanging from his shoulders. He set up the axes by digging out a trench, one lengthy ditch for all of them, in a straight line. Then his feet trampled the earth down flat around them. Amazement gripped the suitors as they looked at him and watched how he aligned those axes properly, though before he had never even seen them. Then, going and standing in the threshold, he tried to test the bow.

• 45:51Liv Albert?

  Three times he made it tremble, as he strove to bend it, and three times he relaxed, hoping in his heart he'd string that bow and shoot an arrow through the iron. On his fourth attempt, as his power bent the bow, he might have strung it, but Odysseus shook his head, signaling him to stop, for all his eagerness. Telemachus spoke out, addressing them once more with royal authority: "Well, I suppose I'll remain a coward, a weak man too, in future days, or else I'm still too young and cannot rely on my own strength to guard me from a man who gets angry with me first. But come now, you men who are more powerful than me, test this bow, let's end this competition." Once he said this, Telemachus placed the bow down on the ground away from him, leaning

• 46:35Liv Albert?

  it against the polished panels of the door, and set up a swift arrow there beside the bow's fine tip, then sat down in the chairs where he had been before. Then Antinous, Eupithys's son, addressed them: "All you suitors, get up in order now, from left to right, beginning from the place where the steward pours the wine." Antinous spoke, and what he had proposed they found agreeable. The first to stand was Lyotis, son of Eunops, their soothsayer. He always sat furthest away, beside the lovely mixing bowl, the only man who opposed their recklessness. It made him angry at the entire crowd of suitors. That was the man who first picked up the bow and the swift arrow. After moving to the threshold and standing there, he tried the bow, but he could not

• 47:20Liv Albert?

  string it. His hands, which were quite delicate and feeble, grew weary, before he could succeed in hooking up the string. Then he spoke out among the suitors: "My friends, I'm not the man to use this bow, so now let someone else take hold of it. This bow will take away from many fine young men their lives and spirits, since it's far better to die than live and fail in the attempt to have what we are gathered here to get, remaining here in hope that day after day. Now every man has feelings in his heart, he desires and hopes to wed Penelope, Odysseus's wife. But when he's tried this bow and observed what happens, then let him woo another of Achaia's well-dressed women, seeking to win her with bridal gifts.

• 48:03Liv Albert?

  And then Penelope can wed the man who offers her the most, whose fate it is to be her husband." When Lyotis had finished, he set the bow beside him, leaning it against the polished panels of the door, and placing with it a swift arrow by the tip. Then he sat down again where he had been sitting, but Antinous took issue with what he had said, talking directly to him. "Lyotis, that speech that passed the barrier of your teeth, what wretched, sorry words! As I listened it made me angry, as if this bow would in fact take away the lives and spirits of the very finest men, just because you could not string it? Your royal mother did not produce in you the sort of man who has sufficient strength

• 48:47Liv Albert?

  to draw a bow and shoot an arrow, but some other men, among those noble suitors, will succeed." This said, Antinous called out to Melanthius, the goat herd: "Come now, Melanthius, light a fire in the hall, set a large chair in front of it, and spread a fleece across. Then fetch a hefty piece of fat, there's some inside the house, so that these young men here can warm the bow and rub grease into it. Then test the bow, and end this competition."

• 49:16Liv Albert?

  Once Antinous said this, Melanthea soon lit a tireless fire. Then he carried a large chair up, draped a fleece on it, set it down beside the fire, and, from inside the house, fetched a large piece of fat. So then the young men warmed the bow and tested it, but they could not string it; whatever strength they had was far too little. Antinous and Eurymachus, the suitors' leaders, still remained; the two of them, with their abilities, were the best men by far. The cattle herder and the keeper of the swine, belonging to godlike Odysseus, had gone out, both together. So lord Odysseus moved away, left the palace, walked through the yard, and followed them. When they had passed beyond the courtyard and the gates, Odysseus called to them with reassuring words:

• 50:00Liv Albert?

  "You there, cattlemen and swineherd, shall I tell you something, or keep it to myself? My spirit tells me I should speak to you." If Odysseus were to come back suddenly, brought from somewhere by a god, would you two be the sort of men who would defend him? Would you support the suitors, or Odysseus? Answer as your heart and spirit prompt you. Then the cattle herder answered him: "Oh, father Zeus, would that you might fulfill this very wish! May that man come, and led on by some god! Then you would know the kind of strength I have, and how many hands can demonstrate my power." And then Eumaeus, too, made the same sort of prayer to all the gods, that wise Odysseus would come back to his home.

• 50:44Liv Albert?

  Once Odysseus had clearly seen how resolute they were, he spoke to them again, saying these words: "Well, here I am, in person, after suffering much distress; I've come home, ha, but in the twentieth year, to my own land. Of those who work for me, I recognize that you're the only two who want me back; among the rest, I've heard no one praying that my return would bring me home again. I'll tell you both how this is going to end, and I'll speak the truth. If, on my behalf, some god will overcome those noble suitors, I will bring you each a wife, and I'll provide possessions and a house built near my own. Then you'll be my companions and kinsmen of Telemachus. Come, I'll show you something, a sign, so you will clearly know it's me, and trust me in your hearts.

• 51:29Liv Albert?

  Here's the old scar I got from a boar's white tusk, on a visit to Parnassus with Autilochus's sons." Once he said this, Odysseus pulled aside his rags, exposing the great scar. Once those two had seen it, and noted every detail, they both threw their arms around, wise Odysseus, bursting into tears. They welcomed him, kissing his head and shoulders. Odysseus did the same; he kissed their heads and hands, those men who would have kept on weeping until sunset, if Odysseus had not called a halt, saying to them: "Stop these laments, let's have no more crying; someone might come out from the hall, see us, and tell people in the house. Let's go in, one by one, not all at once.

• 52:12Liv Albert?

  I'll go first, you come later, and let's make this our sign. All those other men, the noble suitors, will not allow the quiver and the bow to be given to me. But Eumaeus, as you carry that bow around the hall, put it in my hands, and tell the women to lock their room, bolt the close-fitting doors. If any one of them hears the noise of men groaning or being hit inside our walls, she's to stay quiet, working where she is, and not run off outside. Now, as for you, Philetius, I want you to lock the courtyard gates, bolt and lash them shut; do it quickly." After he said this, Odysseus went back into the hall, and sat down on the stool where he had been sitting. The two men, godlike Odysseus's servants, went in after him.

• 52:56Liv Albert?

  Eurymachus already had the bow in hand, warming it here and there, in light from the hot fire. But even doing that, he could not string the bow. Then his courageous heart gave out a mighty groan, and he spoke to them directly; he was angry. "It's too bad, I'm frustrated for myself and for you all; I'm not that unhappy about the marriage, though I am upset. There are many more Achaean women, some here in Seagirtithica itself, others in various towns. But if we are so weak compared to godlike Odysseus, that we can't string his bow, it's a disgrace, which men will learn about in years to come." Antinous, Eupithys's son, answered him and said:

• 53:40Liv Albert?

  "Eurymachus, that's not going to happen, as you yourself well know. At this moment, in the country, there's a feast day, sacred to the god, so who would bend the bow? No, set it aside without saying a thing. As for the axes, what if we let them just remain there? I don't think anyone will come into the house of Odysseus, Laertes's son, and carry them away. Come now, let the steward begin to pour wine in the cups, so we can make libations. Put the curved bow down, and in the morning, tell goat herd Melantheus to bring in the finest goats by far from all the herds, so we can set out pieces of the thigh for the famous archer god Apollo. Then we'll test the bow and end the contest."

• 54:24Liv Albert?

  Antinous finished; they were pleased with what he had said. Harold poured water on their hands, and young men filled the mixing bowls up to the brim with drink, and served them all, pouring a few drops into the cups to start the ritual. Once they'd poured libations and drunk wine, to their hearts content, Odysseus, a crafty man who had a scheme in mind, spoke out: "Suitors of the splendid queen, listen to me, as I can say what the heart here in my chest is prompting me to state. It's a request, a plea, especially to Eurymachus and godlike Antinous, since what he said was most appropriate. For the moment, you should postpone this business with the bow, and turn the matter over to the gods.

• 55:08Liv Albert?

  In the morning, a god will give the strength to whoever he desires. But come now, give me the polished bow, so in this hall, I can test these hands of mine, and find out if my supple limbs still possess the strength they used to have, or if my wandering and my lack of food have quite destroyed it." Odysseus finished. They were extremely angry, fearing that a beggar might string the polished bow. So lord Antinous addressed him directly, took Odysseus to task: "You wretched stranger, your mind lacks any sense; you've none at all! Aren't you content to share a feast with us, such noble men, without being disturbed

• 55:49Liv Albert?

  or lacking any food, and to listen to the words we speak to one another? No other beggar or strangers listen in on what we say. The wine, so honey-sweet, has injured you, as it harms other men who gulp it down and swallow far too much. Wine befuddled even great Eurytion, the centaur, in brave Pirithous's house, when he'd gone to the Lepiths. Afterwards, when his heart was blinded by drinking wine, in a mad fit, he committed evil acts in Pirithous's home. Grief seized the heroes; they all leapt up and hauled him out of the doors, through the gate, then cut off his ears and nose with pitiless bronze. His wits were reckless, and he went on his way, bearing madness in his foolish heart. And that's the reason the fight between centaurs and men began!

• 56:34Liv Albert?

  But he first discovered evil in himself, when loaded down with wine. And so I say, if you string the bow, you will face great trouble. You'll not get gentle treatment anywhere, not in this land. We'll ship you off at once, in a black ship, over to king Echatus, who likes to kill and torture everyone. You won't escape from him, so drink your wine in peace, and don't compete with younger men." Wise Penelope then answered him and said: "Antinous, it's neither good nor proper to deny guests of Telemachus a chance, no matter who it comes to this house. And if, trusting in his strength and power, the stranger strings Odysseus's great bow, do you believe this man will take me home and make me his wife?

• 57:18Liv Albert?

  I'm sure he himself bears no such hope inside that chest of his, so none of you should be at dinner here, with sorrow in your heart, because of him; that would be undignified." Then Eurymachus, son of Polybus, answered her: "Wise Penelope, daughter of Acharius, we do not think this man will take you home; that would be wrong. But we would be ashamed by public gossip from both men and women, if later on, some base Achaean spoke of us like this. Those men, wooing the wife of that fine man, are far worse than him; they can't even string his polished bow. And yet another man, a beggar, who came here on his travels, did so with ease, and then shot through the iron?

• 58:00Liv Albert?

  That's what men will say, and those words would be a slur on us."

• 58:06Liv Albert?

  Then wise Penelope replied, "Eurymachus, there is no way at all there will be in this district good reports of those dishonoring and eating up a noble's home. Why turn the matter now into a slur? This stranger's very large and strongly built. Furthermore, he maintains that by birth he comes from a good father. So come now, offer him the polished bow and let us see. I will say this to you, and it will happen. If he strings the bow and Apollo grants him glory, I'll dress him in some lovely clothes, a cloak and tunic, give him a sharp spear as a defense from dogs and men, as well as a fine sword and sandals for his feet. Then I'll send him wherever his heart and spirit prompt him." Shrewd Telemachus then answered her,

• 58:51Liv Albert?

  "Mother, among Achaeans, no man has a right stronger than my own to offer this bow to anyone I wish, or to withhold it. None of those who rule in rocky Ithaca or in the islands neighboring Ellis wear horses grazed. Among these men, no one will deny my will by force, if I wish to give the bow, even to this stranger, as an outright gift to take away with him. But, mother, you should go to your own rooms and keep busy with your proper duties, the loom and spindle, and tell your women to go about their tasks. The bow will be a matter for the men, especially me, since power in this house is justly mine."

• 59:33Liv Albert?

  Penelope, astonished, went back to her chamber, taking to heart the prudent words her son had said. With her servant women, she walked up to her room and there wept for Odysseus, her dear husband, till bright-eyed Athena cast sweet sleep on her eyes. The worthy swineherd had picked up the curving bow and was carrying it, but the suitors in the hall started shouting. One of those arrogant young men said something like, "What are you doing, you wretched swineherd, carrying that bow, you idiot? You'll soon be with the swine all alone, no one there, being eaten by those swift dogs you yourself have raised, if Lord Apollo and the other gods act with graciousness to us."

• 1:00:17Liv Albert?

  That's what they said. So, though the bow was in his hands, he put it down. He was afraid, so many men inside the hall were yelling at him. But then from across the room, Telemachus shouted out a threat. "Old man, keep on moving up here with that bow, or else you may regret it. I'm younger than you, but I might force you out into the fields and throw rocks at you. I'm the stronger man. I wish my hands had that strength and power over all the suitors here. I would force some of them soon enough to leave this house and go back home. They would not be happy. The schemes they keep concocting are unjust."

• 1:00:53Liv Albert?

  Telemachus finished speaking, but the suitors all had a hearty laugh at his expense. This eased their bitter anger at Telemachus. Meanwhile, the swineherd had kept on moving through the hall, carrying the bow. He came to shrewd Odysseus and placed it in his hands. Then he summoned the nurse Euroclaea and said to her, "Wise Euroclaea, Telemachus is telling you to lock up the closely fitted doorway to this hall. If anyone hears groans inside this room or any noise from men within these walls, she's not to run outside, but stay in there, busy with her work, and say nothing." After he had said this, her words could find no wings. She bolted all the doors to that

• 1:01:35Liv Albert?

  well-furnished hall, and Philetius, without a word, slipped out and locked the courtyard gates inside the sturdy walls. A cable from a curving ship was lying there by the portico, made of papyrus fibers. With that, he lashed the gates tight shut and went inside, moved to the chair where he had been before, sat down, and watched Odysseus, who had already had the bow. He was turning it this way and that, testing it in different ways to see if, while its lord was gone, worms had nibbled on the horns. One of the suitors, with a glance beside him, would say something like, "This man knows bows. He must be an expert. Either he has bows like

• 1:02:16Liv Albert?

  this stored at home, or else he wants to make one. That is why he's turning it around in all directions. That beggar's really skilled in devious tricks." And then another of those arrogant young men would make some further comment. "Well, I hope the chance that this brings him some benefit matches this ability to string this bow." That is how the suitors talked. But shrewd Odysseus, once he had raised the weapon and looked it over from every angle, then, just as someone really skilled at playing the lyre and singing has no trouble when he loops a taut string around a brand-new peg, tying the twisted sheep's gut at the either end, that's how easily Lord Odysseus strung that bow. Holding it in his

• 1:03:00Liv Albert?

  right hand, he tested the string. It sang out, resonating like a swallow's song beneath his touch. Grief overwhelmed the suitors. The skin on all of them changed color. And then Zeus gave out an ominous sign, a peal of thunder. Lord Odysseus, who had endured so much, rejoiced. Crooked-minded Cronos's son had sent an omen. Then he picked up a swift arrow lying by one of the tables there beside him, the other ones, which those Achaeans soon would be familiar with, were stored inside the hollow quiver. He set it against the bow on the bridge, pulled the

• 1:03:40Liv Albert?

  notched arrow and the bowstring back, still sitting in his seat, and with a sure aim, let it fly. It did not miss, not even a single hole in all the axe heads. The arrow, weighted with bronze, sped straight on through and out the other end. And at that point, Odysseus called out to his son, "Telemachus, the stranger sitting in your halls has not disgraced you. I did not miss my aim or work too long to string that bow. My strength is still intact, in spite of all the suitors' scornful jibes. Now, it's time to get a dinner ready for these Achaeans while there's still some light, then entertain ourselves in different ways with singing and

• 1:04:25Liv Albert?

  the lyre, for these are things which should accompany a dinner feast." As he spoke, he gave a signal with his eyebrows. Telemachus, godlike Odysseus's dear son, cinched his sword belt tight, closed his fist around a spear, moved in close beside his father, next to his seat, and stood there by him, fully armed with gleaming bronze.

• 1:05:08Liv Albert?

  Oh nerds, that we're getting to the good stuff. I quite enjoyed that scene, but I am even more excited for the next scene and just every, I mean, granted, it's just a lot of murder, but the beginning of the murder is just really satisfying. And I have a story about it when I get there. But in the meantime, this has been incredibly fun, and I have no more rambles left in me, so I will just say really quickly, let's talk what Myth Baby is written and produced by me, Liv Albert. Michaela Panga wishes the Hermes to my Olympians, a co-host and producer. The podcast is part of the Memory Collective Podcast Network, where we are trying to do

• 1:05:51Liv Albert?

  cool things. I don't know, stay tuned. I officially have a functioning shop. Does it have a lot on it? No. But are there stickers where the shipping cost is really reasonable and basically just the cost of an envelope and stamp? Yes. And so if you want to take a look at that, we have some stickers on Option, as well as these signed Odyssey bookplates. So if you have bought a copy of my Odyssey, you can now make it a personalized signed version by picking up one of these Odyssey stickers. Basically, they're like these big, beautiful branded stickers that I will sign and personalize, and then you just stick it in your book. And it makes it 1,000%

• 1:06:29Liv Albert?

  easier to have signed books in this world of Trump's shit-fuckery tariffs. So you can do that. They are, the intention was always to have them be like as affordable as possible. The goal would have been free, but I do not have the money to just be paying for shipping. So you'll see that the cost is basically just to offset me physically putting them in the mail and the cost of Canadian shipping and such. But otherwise, I just really wanted it to be an accessible way for people to get signed books. So if you want to check that out, it's all just mythsbaby.com/merchandise, or just mythsbaby.com, and then click on the shop. And maybe I'll send you out some fun stickers soon. I have these like great little postcards

• 1:07:14Liv Albert?

  that I use for Patreon that I'll use for these too, where you get like a nice little note included by me that's like this beautiful branded postcard too. And so it's a fun little process, and it fills me with joy and also helps, you know, to pay off some of the bazillion of stickers that I paid for years ago, right before Trump's tariffs came in and made it almost impossible for me to open a shop. I mean, I also bought pins and tote bags too. You can buy those, but unfortunately, the shipping is crazy to the States because it has to offset the tariffs. Y'all need a revolution, right? We're all, we're all on the same page there? A flock revolution, an anti-flock revolution, an anti-Pallanier revolution, a revolution.

• 1:07:57Liv Albert?

  Y'all, y'all needed a revolution. Okay? On it. Get on it. The whole world needs you all to hold a revolution. Okay, thanks. I am Liv, and I love this shit.

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