How CEO Leila Hormozi Went From Broke, Anxious & Arrested 6 Times To $100M Net Worth

I'm going on tour! Come see The School of Greatness LIVE in person! Get my new book Make Money Easy here! From multiple arrests in her early twenties to building a multi-hundred-million-dollar business empire, Leila Hormozi's journey reveals how mastering emotional regulation became the cornerstone of her success. In this deeply vulnerable conversation, Leila opens up about overcoming childhood trauma, battling anxiety, and learning to embrace discomfort as a pathway to growth. What sets her apart isn't just her business acumen, but her radical approach to managing negative thoughts and emotions – accepting them as natural companions on the path to excellence rather than obstacles to overcome. Through raw stories and tactical insights, she demonstrates how true leadership isn't about eliminating fear or self-doubt, but about taking successful actions despite them. This episode is especially valuable for entrepreneurs, leaders, and anyone struggling to navigate their emotional landscape while pursuing ambitious goals. Get Leila's Free $100M Scaling CourseIn this episode you will learn:Why winning never feels good in the moment and how to embrace the perpetual state of discomfort that comes with successHow to transform your relationship with negative emotions from resistance to acceptance, and why this shift is crucial for long-term successThe three key truths holding women back in business and life, and how to overcome themWhy being "smart enough to figure things out, but dumb enough to try" can be a superpower in businessHow to make decisions aligned with your values by treating them as your "board of directors"For more information go to https://www.lewishowes.com/1735For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960More SOG episodes we think you’ll love:Alex Hormozi – greatness.lnk.to/1723SCJaspreet Singh – greatness.lnk.to/1257SCRobert Herjavec – greatness.lnk.to/1729SC Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  There are two big things happening at one time that I've never done before. I'm going on a book tour for my new book, Make Money Easy, and I'm doing a podcast tour at the same time. It is going to be big and I'm going to seven cities in 10 days. Get your friends, get your family, bring everyone you know to these cities. I'm coming to Austin, Texas, New York, Boston, we're going to Nashville. Then we're going to Los Angeles, San Diego, and San Francisco. Make sure to get your tickets right now. Go to LewisHowes.com/tour. Again, bring everyone you know if you're looking to create more financial freedom and abundance in your life and you want to see a massive guest live on the School of Greatness show.

• 0:45Lewis Howes?

  Get your tickets. I can't wait to see you there.

• 0:49Lewis Howes?

  Welcome back, my friend. I have got a special guest today. Leila Hormozzi is in the house. Most people know of Alex Hormozzi. We've had him on here a few different times and he has blown up our content. People love it. People can't stop watching and listening to it and they're sharing it all over the place. But I said, you know what? I want to hear what the real brains behind that business is all about. And I'm half joking here, but Leila Hormozzi, Alex's wife, he will say she is the brains. She's the one operating the business. She's coordinating, hiring, getting great talent, all these different things. She is the one that's kind of keeping it all together.

• 1:31Lewis Howes?

  While Alex is the face and he's creating content and he's doing lead gen and marketing, but she's creating the operations and she's running the business in a big way. And what makes this conversation special is Leila's vulnerable exploration of her mental and emotional skills that drive true success, far beyond just business tactics. I've seen other content of her that's kind of talking right into analytics, right into tactics, right into here are the steps. But what you're going to hear today is probably something you'll never hear from any of other of her content unless she starts talking about it again, because she got very open, very vulnerable, and very raw in a way that I've never seen her

• 2:15Lewis Howes?

  emotionally. And it's, it shocked me a little bit because there is so much about her when you peel back the layers. About her that makes her unique from her past, from her story and all the challenges that she faced where she had to overcome so much to develop certain skills that are essential for business today. And if you've gone through any challenges in your life, you have developed certain skills as well, whether you're aware of it or not. And hopefully this interview with Leila will support you in figuring out just what those skills are because you are unique and talented. And maybe you just haven't uncovered or peeled back the layers yet on what those skills

• 2:59Lewis Howes?

  and talents are to create the abundance in your life. And speaking of abundance, I have a brand new book coming out called Make Money Easy. And it's all about creating financial freedom and living a richer life. Most people are not living in abundance. They don't feel like they have a rich life externally and they don't have a rich life or inner peace internally. And this book is all about giving you the exact steps in the entire framework for creating your path to peace, freedom, and a financial abundance. And it starts with the inner work. It starts with understanding your money story, your money wounds, and your money style.

• 3:41Lewis Howes?

  Once you're aware of those, we talk about how to get that clarity on what those are for you through certain assessments in the book. Then we talk about the seven habits, the seven money mindset habits to unlock abundance in your life. We break those down and all the lessons, the exercises, and the examples you need to unlock the blocks of abundance for you. Again, you can go to makemoneyeasybook.com. You can preorder your copy there and I'm also going on tour. That's right. In just a couple of weeks, I'm going to be in Austin, Texas, New York City, Boston, Massachusetts, Nashville, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and San Diego.

• 4:24Lewis Howes?

  So if you go to makemoneeasibook.com or you just go to the description of this podcast at the top there, you'll see a link to go preorder the book right now and you get your ticket to come see me live. And we're doing a live special guest in every city as well for a podcast tour at the same time. So we're doing a book tour, a podcast tour at the same time. You're getting a two for one, baby. Let's go. I'm super excited about this and I hope to see you there. If you're coming, bring your friends, bring your family. It's going to be a fun evening in one of those cities. But I am excited for what you're about to experience right now. Again, a side of Leila Hormozi that I've never seen before, that I'm not sure if you'll ever experience again. So make

• 5:07Lewis Howes?

  sure to pay attention, take notes, share this with one or two friends that you think will be inspired by this as well. And let's dive in with the one and only Leila Hormozi.

• 5:19Lewis Howes?

  Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness. Very excited about our guest. We have the inspiring, incredible business leader, Leila Hormozi. Good to see you. Thanks for being here.

• 5:31Lewis Howes?

  We met a few years ago.

• 5:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:33Lewis Howes?

  And you and your husband Alex just sold a company and you were looking to launch acquisitions.com.

• 5:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:41Lewis Howes?

  What's the thing that you have now that your 20-year-old self didn't have?

• 5:49Speaker 01

  Emotional regulation?

• 5:51Lewis Howes?

  You didn't have that when you were in your twenties, teens?

• 5:54Speaker 01

  No.

• 5:55Lewis Howes?

  What did it look like back then? Because didn't I read you like went to jail or a bunch of times and like had a really chaotic upbringing?

• 6:03Speaker 01

  I graduated high school and I went to college and I think it was, you know, if we rewind back further, my parents had gotten divorced. I'd lived with my mom. She got into drugs and alcohol. Ended up being like a very bad environment for a kid. And so, you know, when I was 15, she tried to kill herself in front of me.

• 6:26Speaker 01

  I kind of just like shut down after that moment until I was 19. Like I just went numb. I remember actually. Because I'd been this constant state of anxiety, like perpetual, like always heightened anxiety in my body. And I'd lost like 20% of my body weight or something. I remember like it was just like very, very stressed all the time.

• 6:44Lewis Howes?

  Was this before she attempted?

• 6:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:47Lewis Howes?

  To kill herself?

• 6:47Speaker 01

  Constantly just stressed because she was drinking. She'd be gone for a week at a time. I wouldn't know where she was, but I didn't want to tell anybody because I didn't want anyone to like call. You know, whatever.

• 6:56Lewis Howes?

  Child services.

• 6:56Speaker 01

  Child services or whatever.

• 6:57Lewis Howes?

  This was when you're like 13 through 15?

• 6:59Speaker 01

  Nine to 15.

• 7:00Lewis Howes?

  Wow. She'd be gone for a week at a time?

• 7:03Speaker 01

  Yeah. And so.

• 7:05Lewis Howes?

  Your parents were divorced before then?

• 7:06Speaker 01

  They got divorced. They separated when I was nine.

• 7:09Lewis Howes?

  Gotcha.

• 7:09Speaker 01

  And so then.

• 7:10Lewis Howes?

  So you were with your mom alone most of the time then?

• 7:12Speaker 01

  Correct. Yeah. And she'd been a great mom before that, but when that happened, I just completely shut down. And the way that I was able to do anything was just, I was numb. It was like, I wasn't angry. I also wasn't happy. I was just like this?

• 7:29Lewis Howes?

  Flat.

• 7:29Speaker 01

  Flat.

• 7:30Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 7:30Speaker 01

  Until I was 19, I got out of the house.

• 7:34Speaker 01

  And then I was just mad. And I didn't know how to deal with that anger. So I started drinking and then I started doing drugs and then I, and it turned into this whole cycle. And then I started getting arrested because I was blacking out and I was doing drugs and I didn't, I don't even know what I did half the time. And that's what got me to get arrested six times in 18 months.

• 7:54Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 7:55Speaker 01

  I know. It was just like.

• 7:56Lewis Howes?

  Six times?

• 7:57Speaker 01

  Six times. Yeah. You would think the fourth.

• 7:59Lewis Howes?

  Second and first?

• 8:00Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, it was not enough.

• 8:03Lewis Howes?

  Wow. What is that like getting arrested six times?

• 8:06Speaker 01

  Humiliating.

• 8:07Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 8:08Speaker 01

  Yeah. Like I was very ashamed, but I didn't know how to stop.

• 8:13Lewis Howes?

  Wow. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I've never been arrested. I hope it never happens because I just don't know

• 8:19Lewis Howes?

  what state you'd need to be in to keep getting arrested. So I can only assume that you were in a a very low state.

• 8:28Speaker 01

  Well, think about this. When you feel like crap all the time, you just feel like crap again when you get arrested. It's not very different.

• 8:35Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 8:36Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? So if, if now I were to get arrested, it would feel awful because it's such a contrast, but.

• 8:44Lewis Howes?

  But you're like, well, this is my life anyways. So whatever.

• 8:46Speaker 01

  My life sucks. So what does it matter?

• 8:48Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 8:48Speaker 01

  Yeah. So.

• 8:53Speaker 01

  During that time, what I recognized after some time is that I was at odds with my emotions. And I think what it was is that I tried so hard to never feel the way I had felt when I had been in that house with my mother, that first I disconnected from my emotions. And then, in my young twenties, I was at odds with them. Meaning, I would fight anxiety, I would fight depression, I would fight sadness, I would fight frustration. Like, I didn't want it, I wanted to get rid of it. And it wasn't until I was probably, just in the last six, seven years, that I was like,

• 9:33Speaker 01

  I can take them with me. They're not bad. And I started engaging with them in a healthy way.

• 9:38Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 9:38Speaker 01

  And just changing my relationship with them, rather than trying to stuff them down, suppress them, get rid of them. Yeah, exactly.

• 9:45Lewis Howes?

  So what would it look like, you know, if you're feeling anxious now versus anxious back then? How does that look? Are you having a conversation with yourself? Are you talking to the anxiety part of you? Are you, did you used to shame yourself when that happened? Like, what are you doing now versus then that allows you to feel more joyful and peaceful versus stressful and crappy?

• 10:11Speaker 01

  Well, it's actually funny, because I think that when I was nineteen, I would feel an emotion, and then I would drink, or I would do drugs. Then it turned into, I would work out, I would study, I would work. And so I just replaced it, which, I mean, hey, it was more.

• 10:26Lewis Howes?

  Something a little more productive, but yeah, yeah.

• 10:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:28Lewis Howes?

  You still weren't addressing it, though.

• 10:29Speaker 01

  I wasn't addressing it, and so it's still, I still felt very anxious all the time. I still felt very stressed. And so now, rather than the moment that I feel stressed or I feel anxious, I go into action. I go into, I say, this is my mental cues, absorption, absorption. Which is like, I absorb the emotion. I'm like, let it fill me up, let me feel it.

• 10:53Speaker 01

  Now, I don't need to indulge in it, I don't need to ruminate, but I can take five minutes to feel what I'm feeling. And it's not because I need, I believe that I need to do some kind of mental rumination to get over an emotion. It's because I want to teach my body that it's nothing to be afraid of and that's nothing to run from.

• 11:11Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 11:12Speaker 01

  And that's helped me so much because I say, okay, I'm gonna give myself five minutes and then I'm gonna go on with what my day was gonna be.

• 11:18Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 11:18Speaker 01

  I'm not gonna let the emotion derail me from my day because I know at the end of the day, at the end of the day, that day helps me achieve my goals if I keep, if I follow the plan.

• 11:27Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 11:27Speaker 01

  And so that has been the biggest change that I've made in the last decade has just been my relationship with bad, negative emotions.

• 11:34Lewis Howes?

  That's interesting because it sounds like first, when you'd feel a negative emotion, you would react to it with a negative response.

• 11:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:42Lewis Howes?

  Drugs, alcohol, whatever, numbing, some numbing mechanism.

• 11:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:46Lewis Howes?

  Now, then you said, okay, this doesn't feel good anymore and I'm getting bad results by doing this. So let me try to do something productive when I feel stressed. So you reacted with working harder, working out, trying to eat better, whatever it might be.

• 12:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:02Lewis Howes?

  But you still felt the stress and anxiety.

• 12:04Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 12:04Lewis Howes?

  But at least there was a better result, but not, better external result, but not internal result.

• 12:09Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 12:10Lewis Howes?

  Now you face it and you feel it and kind of reflect in the moment, give yourself a pause and then you get back into something productive.

• 12:17Speaker 01

  A hundred percent. And it's funny because the outcome, like when we built a gym launch, first business that we ever had. I think a lot of that was still fueled off of this frenetic energy of like trying to run through anxiety.

• 12:36Lewis Howes?

  Stressful, like ha.

• 12:36Speaker 01

  Right, but it created something really cool. But it was, I remember the moment where it was like two years before we sold that started to shift, where I, I started recognizing that relationship and then I said, I want to be able to do this in a way that makes me better, not worse.

• 12:49Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 12:50Speaker 01

  I don't want work to make me worse as a person. I don't want work to make me emotionally worse, to make me spiritually worse, to make me a worse wife. I want work to make me better. And so the only way I can do that is if every time I have a negative emotion, I look at it as an opportunity to make a better relationship with my emotions, which will, that will transfer to all areas of my life, my relationship, my friendships, et cetera. And so now it's like I look at business as the biggest vehicle for my personal growth because I'm constantly facing these negative emotions and so I get all that practice. To confront them and then say, hey, I don't need to run from any of this. And that means that my life gets to expand rather than contract every time I do that.

• 13:29Lewis Howes?

  Was there a moment in your life like where someone taught you this? Or you had someone confront you or coach you or mentor you that said, hey, I see you doing these things. It's not helping. Here's another approach. Or was this just an internal reflection?

• 13:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's actually, um. So about a year and a half before we sold, um, Jim Launch, our first business. Uh, I. It was like, there was a week where I had to run our team quarterly. I then had a full team event. I had a speaking gig I was doing and then I had some other event. And I was lying in bed and I remember I just felt so much anxiety. And all of a sudden this like wave came over me and I had a full blown panic attack. And then I was up all night. I couldn't sleep. I was like, what's wrong with me? I haven't had a panic attack in a decade. And, and it wasn't like how, you know, when I was younger, I would get panic attacks at times. Um, it was like, you know, my tongue is swollen and my hands go numb, like

• 14:28Speaker 01

  full on like many more symptoms than I experienced in the past. It freaked me out. And when that happened, I was like, you know, the first thing that happened was like, what's wrong with me? Like, there's got to be something wrong with me because I don't understand. And then after about two and a half weeks of, you know, I, I reached out to different therapists and psychiatrists and doctors and like everyone has their own opinion of, you know, why did you have this panic attack? Um, I reached out to a friend of mine who recommended I read a book. And the book was, um, Control Your Anxiety Before It Controls You by Albert Ellis. And I read that book and I was like, oh my God.

• 15:10Speaker 01

  I don't need anybody to tell me what's wrong with me because nothing's wrong with me. Besides the fact that I think these things are so bad. And

• 15:18Lewis Howes?

  The things in your life are bad, or a certain

• 15:20Speaker 01

  The emotions that I was feeling.

• 15:22Lewis Howes?

  Uh huh, you thought they were bad.

• 15:23Speaker 01

  The fact that I was so anxious about something, the fact that like, there's nothing wrong with me for having a panic attack. There's nothing wrong if you can't sleep at night because you're anxious, there's nothing wrong, but I was labeling all those things as bad and wrong. And saying I needed to make them go away.

• 15:37Lewis Howes?

  Hmm, you're like, something's wrong with me, I shouldn't have these feelings and these emotions.

• 15:40Speaker 01

  Yes, because sometimes emotions are so strong, we feel like there's something physically wrong with us. And so I then said, I need to learn all this for myself. And so I started studying a lot of Albert Ellis and Stephen Hayes, their work just as behavioral psychologists. And I think I've read every book from each one of them.

• 16:00Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 16:00Speaker 01

  And it's really helped me learn that there's never been anything wrong with me. It's just been my response to my negative emotions that has been, I've just had a bad relationship with them most of my life. And so I had to change that. And that was when I decided, because I said, how am I going to be able to achieve my goals if, you know, my goals do have me doing a speaking event, running a full team. Like, I want to be that person, but it freaks me the f*** out. And so, yeah, I had a panic attack. But I want to achieve those goals. And so that, that was really the, I would say like the driver behind my motivation to figure that out for myself. And ever since then, it's been a constant practice of recognizing what I'm feeling,

• 16:44Speaker 01

  remembering that emotions cannot hurt me, right? It's like a lot of people say like, oh, well, you're not going to die. I'm like, I don't think most people are scared of dying. I think they're scared of feeling like they're going to die. You know what I'm saying? Like, we're not scared of death, we're scared of feeling like we're going to confront death.

• 16:58Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:59Speaker 01

  And so that was really significant for me. And it also, I would say it propelled me in the direction of learning to be more flexible and less rigid. Because also, You know, that control, it also wants to control emotions. Like me, my control in a business setting can be very helpful at times. Control when it comes to an emotional part of my life is not helpful because I can't control every thought and feeling that comes into my mind or my brain. And so that really taught me that being able to let go, being able to let things occur and just remind myself that I am big enough to hold space for all of those things and feeling them is not going to do anything. That really was probably the time in my life when I, I realized that.

• 17:44Speaker 01

  It was because lying there at night, having panic attack over those things, being like, I'm worth multiple hundreds of millions of dollars. I've built all these things. I have all this team underneath me. Like, why do I think panic attack?

• 17:56Lewis Howes?

  Why is it though, that some extremely successful business leaders or wealthy individuals have a lot of anxiety that they can't get rid of?

• 18:07Speaker 01

  Well, I think that the more that you run from something, the bigger it becomes, right? Like, there's this quote that I love, which is, fear is a mile wide and an inch deep. And so like the moment that you step into that puddle or into what you think is an ocean, you recognize it's a puddle. And I think that most of the time, a lot of people I meet, because I talk to thousands of entrepreneurs each month, they're running from something. But that thing, I think that they always think, I'll tell you this. So before I met Alex, I had a boyfriend.

• 18:38Lewis Howes?

  Don't tell him.

• 18:41Speaker 01

  And we broke up. And then after that breakup, I was really sad. And so I saw a therapist at the time and I said, you know, it'd been like two and a half months. And I was like, I'm just really sad. And she's like, well, why are you so sad? I was like, well, you know, I did hear that it takes about half the time that you've been with someone to get over someone. And she was like, I think that's stupid. And I was like, what's this therapist saying that's stupid? And I was like, okay, well, what then? And she's like, I think it takes as long as you want it to take. And I was like, okay, so what do you suggest? She's like, how about Thursday? What? Yeah. And she was like, how about you're over by Thursday? And I was like, okay. She's like, well, what would somebody who's overdue?

• 19:23Speaker 01

  Okay, well, I would probably start going on dates. I would probably fill my time with other things. I probably wouldn't think about it so much. I'd probably do all these things to enjoy my life. And so I started doing those things. And what I recognized is that the moment I started acting like I was over it, I was over it. And I think I relate that back because I think so many things that we fear, or so many things we think are these big things that we have to confront in life, they actually only take a very small period of time. But we make it out to be like this big thing because we've been running from it for so long. And so for me, I've just noticed time and time again, most of the things that I've had to confront, I might have been scared of for years. And I can get over it in a matter of hours.

• 20:04Speaker 01

  And I think it's the same for so many people, but it's the fear is so persuasive. Like it persuades you into thinking that it's going to take so long to get over it. But the reality is it doesn't. It's almost like you have to skip through the puddle versus you think you have to swim across this entire ocean. Yeah. And so I think that most people just, maybe they don't have the information, or maybe they don't take the time because they're so busy in the business to step out and say, what are these things that are constraining me from growing my business even bigger? Because for me, I look at it and I'm like, if there's anything taking my attention, even if it's not business related, I need to handle it. So whatever takes the most amount of mind share for me. Face it. Yeah, I need to face that no matter what it has to do with.

• 20:49Speaker 01

  It could have to do with my family, friends, whatever. And so though that doesn't have to do with business, that's also how I've known how to grow my business, is I have to constantly clear, I say it like I'm clearing almost, like whatever that means. I'm not like a woo woo or spiritual person. Clearing the energy. I'm clearing, yeah, way for bigger and better things so I can expand my life. Yeah. And I look at it like if I have, my attention is a jar of marbles, and I have 100 marbles, but I have 25 of them stuck on this thing I'm scared of. And every day I think about it, I would like to take those back. And so I need to go confront the thing that I'm scared of in order to get those marbles back and have my full attention to do the things that I actually want to do and actually enjoy doing. Yeah.

• 21:30Lewis Howes?

  When was the time when you started to make like some serious money? How old were you when you started to like make? Cause there was, I know you guys had no money at one point?

• 21:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:39Lewis Howes?

  I think you might have slept in like your guys' car or something or was like, didn't you guys sleep in a car for a bit?

• 21:44Speaker 01

  So we, we slept at a client's house and then we stayed at my parents' house.

• 21:47Lewis Howes?

  Okay, cool. Maybe he slept in his car at one point. I can't remember if he said that, but uh.

• 21:52Speaker 01

  We had a car for sure.

• 21:53Lewis Howes?

  Okay, anyways, but there's a point in your life where you weren't making any money.

• 21:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:57Lewis Howes?

  Right? And then there was a point in your life where you started to make some money and then a lot more money.

• 22:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:04Lewis Howes?

  Did you always feel like you were worthy and deserving of making money?

• 22:09Speaker 01

  No.

• 22:10Lewis Howes?

  When did that start to change? That you felt like I'm worthy of making money?

• 22:14Speaker 01

  I don't think I'm worthy of making money.

• 22:15Lewis Howes?

  Still?

• 22:18Lewis Howes?

  You don't think you're worthy?

• 22:19Speaker 01

  I don't think anybody has to be worthy to make money.

• 22:21Lewis Howes?

  Do you feel like you're deserving of making the money that you have? Or the money that you have now, you're worthy of having it?

• 22:26Speaker 01

  I am a capable steward of the money.

• 22:31Lewis Howes?

  I think that's worthy then?

• 22:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, I guess I just don't use that word very much because I think that what I used to think is I had to be this amazing. I, I honestly, this, this sounds bad and I actually do think I'm a good person, but uh, I've just seen so many people that do make money that aren't the best people. Now, do they usually lose it? Yes, but I do think people are capable of making money without like quote being worthy of it. Um, I think that where it bites you in the butt for most people is that if you know that you're not using the money for good or you're not doing something good with it, you are less likely to make more because you have this conflict internally. You know, usually you say one thing externally, you are something different internally. You know what I mean?

• 23:17Speaker 01

  But for me, it was, I didn't believe that I was capable of making money.

• 23:22Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 23:23Speaker 01

  No.

• 23:25Lewis Howes?

  What shifted for you to believe you were capable of making money?

• 23:27Speaker 01

  I made money. I'm not kidding. So like, I, until I, I'm, actually for me, it started with sales, which was like, until I made a sale myself, like my first, it was a personal training sale. I made a personal training sale and it was a $1,300 package. And I was like, I'm 21 and I just like, I just got $1,300 from words that came out of my mouth to somebody. And I was like, oh my God. And then I was like, I don't, I don't need to work on money again. I know how to make money. And it was such an empowering feeling. But I think that continued at each level, right? And so it's like, okay, I know how to make $1,300. Do I know how to make $20,000? Do I know how to make $50,000? Do I know?

• 24:11Speaker 01

  And so at each time, I didn't believe that I was able to until I did. But I think that I took the action. There's a, there's a term that, I think Stephen Hayes' point, which is like acting the opposite. It's like, if you want to be the opposite of what you are today, act the opposite first, right? And so I have just continued to use that time and time again, which is like, if I want to be something, I don't need to believe that I am first and I don't need to think it, uh, because that I have a very hard time doing. But I can act as though I am the thing and then work my way into it. And so, you know, when we first started really making a lot of money,

• 24:49Speaker 01

  I kept feeling like, when is, like, where's, when is the, like, where's the, like, gotcha? You know what I mean? Like, I was like-

• 24:56Lewis Howes?

  Like, when's it all going away or stopping?

• 24:58Speaker 01

  Yeah. I, I remember thinking that was like next, like, okay, I figured I'd do it, like, but now it's definitely gonna stop, right? Like, when's, when am I gonna, I probably don't know how to use the money. I probably don't know where to put the money. I probably don't know how to, you know, make sure the money doesn't like disappear because I didn't understand anything about getting returns. And so, um, for me, it was very much, I didn't believe it until it occurred.

• 25:21Lewis Howes?

  So you needed to see it in order to believe it?

• 25:24Speaker 01

  I needed to do it. Yeah.

• 25:26Lewis Howes?

  Do it and then see the results of doing it?

• 25:28Speaker 01

  Yeah. Cause I think it's like, it's a skill. And so, do you have confidence before you have the skill?

• 25:38Speaker 01

  I don't usually feel confident until I'm competent. And so until I was competent, which I verified, but like I learned to be competent at making money. And the, the measuring stick is I make more money. So it's like now I'm competent. Now I see I've made more money. Confidence comes. So it's like the experience built the competence, which then led to the competence for me. And then.

• 25:58Lewis Howes?

  What would shake your confidence today? Like if you lost a bunch of money or if, if you hired, stole money from you and then you had to fire them over and over again. Or if bad things happened in business or whatever, like would it shake your confidence or would it not affect you?

• 26:15Speaker 01

  I'm educated enough now to know that you have to lose money to make money. So like.

• 26:23Speaker 01

  You know, it's so funny because me and Alex, we were talking yesterday about something and he's, he's counting up every loss we've had this year. And I was like.

• 26:29Lewis Howes?

  Look at all the gains.

• 26:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm, I'm so much like with, when it comes to money, I'm like, I, I'm just like, that's the cost of it. The cost of making money is that you're going to lose some. So it's like, for me, it's like, if I want to make a hundred million dollars, I'm going to lose 10 million. If I want to make a billion dollars, I'm probably going to lose 50, 100 million. I don't know. Now that could be in lost opportunity. That could have been in making the wrong decision. That could be in the value of a company. But I've just seen that there's a huge correlation with how much you're willing to lose, with how much you're willing to gain. Because if you're constantly saying, I don't want to lose, that's where your mind's focused. Rather than I want to make more, I want to expand. So it's like, yes, uh, I want to make sure that I'm not being stupid with my money.

• 27:10Speaker 01

  But I don't want to be so focused on not losing money that I'm not, I'm not opening myself up to the opportunity to make more. And so I actually think if I lose money now, like I'll give you an example. Um, invested in a company two years ago. Bad, bad investment. So that was like, you know, close to 10 million dollars just down the drain.

• 27:30Lewis Howes?

  Gone.

• 27:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:31Lewis Howes?

  Light on fire.

• 27:32Speaker 01

  Yeah. And I'm just like, this company is not what I thought it was. I wish I did not buy it. It is a thorn in my side.

• 27:37Lewis Howes?

  Plus time, energy.

• 27:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:39Lewis Howes?

  Pulling you away from other things.

• 27:40Speaker 01

  Yeah. And there's not much you can do once you've bought majority of a company. So it's a tough situation and every time I'm reminded of like, I don't want to do that. Right? But I'm like, that's. I had to pay the price of losing there to get this huge win over here. I just look at it like that because the same decision-making principles I used to purchase that company, I also used to purchase this one, and this one is crushing it. And so it's like, sometimes I think in making money, the decision-making formula that we use to make money is good, but sometimes the outcome is still not. It's just like hiring people, sometimes you're gonna miss.

• 28:15Lewis Howes?

  The process stays the same, or maybe you learn a lesson from the process of why it didn't work, and you tweak it for the next process, you upgrade the process, but the outcome's not always gonna be the way you want.

• 28:27Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 28:28Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 28:29Speaker 01

  So I think-

• 28:30Lewis Howes?

  Because you could have the same process and one company crush and the other one go bankrupt, right?

• 28:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:35Lewis Howes?

  Because you can't control the human factors, or if the CEO quits, or whatever it is, like, the product doesn't work anymore, or something like that, so.

• 28:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, there's, you know, when people, when I'm talking to people, and I'm like, yes, you know, they're like, how do I do this in a company? I'm like, well, this, that, and they're like, do I have any knowledge in finance? Like, that type, I'm like, yeah, I understand finance, IT, marketing, sales, CS, this, like, all of it. Same goes for investing, and there's more. And so, there's so many things that could go wrong, that, you know, it would behoove me to say, I made one bad investment, I should try again. You know? And so, I, I think one thing that I've always been very good at, is like, I'm very patient. I can lose, but I'm pretty spot-on at like, where did I, where did I fail in execution? I can tell if it's an execution or a strategy issue.

• 29:24Speaker 01

  So if I've done an investment, and I'm like, it was just this one thing, and I'm like, I wanna try it again, because I know that the strategy is right, it was just lost in execution, but you're not gonna learn that unless you try again.

• 29:34Lewis Howes?

  What is the biggest lesson you've learned about winning so much over the last couple of years that you didn't expect you would learn?

• 29:41Speaker 01

  Winning never feels good in the moment.

• 29:46Speaker 01

  Like I think, everyone always asks me, they're like, you know, it's funny, when we were growing our first business, people would come to me and they would say, "Congratulations, like you've had such fast growth." And I remember I would have this internal like, "Have I?" Because it's been so painful. And I think that the reason that winning's not for everybody is because winning is hard, and because winning is painful. And the entire process up until you win, you're doing hard things over and over and over again. And so you're constantly in a state of discomfort. That's also why you win, is because you're willing to put yourself into that state. And so, you know, upon selling our first business, I saw a lot of people, and I saw that they didn't have a plan for what they were going to do next. And a lot of people who sold their first business,

• 30:31Speaker 01

  they were satiated with that sale. They were comfortable enough with whatever it brought them, that then they didn't feel like they had to push themselves again. And I never wanted to be that person, because I'm like, "I'm not even 30." You know, I was 29 when we sold our business, 29, and I already had a multi-hundred-million-dollar net worth. And I'm like, "People are like, 'You're gonna take time off.'" And I was like, "No." What am I gonna... I don't really believe in retirement, per se, like in the traditional sense. I was like, "No, I need to do something else." And so, what I realized was, the reason that so many people aren't able to win again is because they're not willing to put themselves back into that place that they had to, to win the first time. That pain, that discomfort.

• 31:13Speaker 01

  The pain. And I think that you assume that it's going to be easier the second time. The thing is, and there's a lot of studies done on this, which is like, it's not easier, you just know what to expect, and you have more skills. That doesn't mean it feels easier the second time. And I will say, in doing and scaling very quickly, acquisition.com, it doesn't feel easier, I just know what to do this time. And what I've had to do in order to keep winning, is I've had to learn to love the process of being uncomfortable. And I've always wanted that for myself, because growing up, I think, you know, I was in a small town, everyone stays there, you become a bartender, a nurse, a teacher at the local college, whatever. And I just looked, and everyone's always remaining in their comfort zone.

• 31:59Speaker 01

  And I was like, I have to get out of that. And so like at a very young age, I left home early. I moved across the country. I said, I never want to be that. I don't want my life to be that. I want to die with so much potential left inside of me. And so for me, I think what's made it easy to keep winning and being uncomfortable is the fact that it's not about the business, not about making hundreds of millions of dollars. Like, it's like, at some point, like, I don't even spend the money. You know, I barely do now. And so what it is about, though, is like, how can I get to the end of my life, knowing that I haven't left potential on the table? And that's what I always tie it to, which is like, it's not about the money. It's about what does Leila look like? Who is that person that's able to do these things? I would like to meet her one day, but if I don't get myself to do these things that are uncomfortable, then that person, I'm never gonna meet her.

• 32:41Lewis Howes?

  What are the things that your future self has that you don't have right now?

• 32:49Lewis Howes?

  Or what is she able to overcome or create or generate?

• 32:53Speaker 01

  You know, I think what I've recognized is that what's worked for me in many ways and in so many situations is I'm very good at structure. I build literal infrastructure of a business. And in order to do that, it's good to have order of things. I always say like, I manage chaos. I don't stop chaos. I let it happen, but I manage chaos. I even say like, I am a wrangler of chaos. That's what I like, tell myself. But there's times when trying to put structure in place actually doesn't help. And instead, I've had to really lean into being flexible rather than rigid. And so my journey has been one of becoming a more flexible person. Because I heard this quote one time, and it was like, the most flexible system always wins.

• 33:34Speaker 01

  And I realized that my, what would be like my kryptonite was also what my strength was, which was like putting order in place. So it helped me build my first business and sell it so successfully because there was so much order in there. It also can cripple you because when something unexpected happens, when this happens, like, it just took me a little longer to adjust than I would like. And I want to be able to quickly adjust. And so it's been this constant journey of

• 34:01Speaker 01

  being able to not react when something unexpected happens, but respond very thoughtfully and always ask myself. How can I turn this challenge into an opportunity? How can I respect myself more by overcoming this challenge, not less? And that's always led me to making the right decision. But it's been the hardest thing for me because I like to have structure. I like to have control. And it helps me in a lot of ways. It also doesn't help me in a lot of ways. And so she is much more flexible.

• 34:30Lewis Howes?

  Hmm, so she learns to become more flexible than you are today.

• 34:34Speaker 01

  Yeah. And I think also, you know, I've recognized like the people I surround myself with. What do they have that I really like and admire? I often surround myself with people who aren't like me, but they're actually opposite of me in many ways. And one of those biggest things is more spontaneous and more flexible.

• 34:49Lewis Howes?

  Play, fun.

• 34:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. It's almost like I get to live that out through the people around me.

• 34:54Lewis Howes?

  When you have losses and wins,

• 34:58Lewis Howes?

  and negative thoughts creep up, how do you start to reframe those negative thoughts to actually fuel you for success in the future rather than limit you?

• 35:10Speaker 01

  I try to, one, I expect them.

• 35:15Lewis Howes?

  Negative thoughts?

• 35:15Speaker 01

  Negative thoughts, doubts, doubting myself.

• 35:18Lewis Howes?

  How often do you have negative thoughts?

• 35:20Speaker 01

  More often than positive ones.

• 35:21Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 35:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:23Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. What are these negative thoughts that you have? What are they thinking or what are you thinking and saying in your mind?

• 35:33Speaker 01

  Like, you're not as good as you think you are. You're actually really stupid. You don't work as hard as you think you do. Maybe it's all gonna fail. People don't like you. Your team doesn't believe in you, you know. I'll make up so many stories in my brain.

• 35:50Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 35:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:51Lewis Howes?

  And how frequent are those stories?

• 35:52Speaker 01

  Daily.

• 35:53Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 35:54Speaker 01

  Yeah. But...

• 35:55Lewis Howes?

  So how do you use them then to get the success you want?

• 35:59Speaker 01

  I think I've learned to detach from my thoughts. So, you know, I think for a long time, trying to suppress them or not focus on them did not help me, but detaching from them and being able to look at them as sentences in my mind rather than commands or facts has helped me understand that if I'm trying to do anything significant with my life, I'm gonna have negative thoughts come up. If I'm trying to do anything new, I'm gonna have negative thoughts come up because anything new, your brain sees as a threat. And so it's gonna say, oh, that's scary and new, even if it's not bad. It's just new and unknown, and so we want to prevent you from doing it.

• 36:41Speaker 01

  So let's put these doubtful thoughts in here so that she doesn't do it because that could risk something. So I just expect it as part of the process, and I don't try to make it go away. I just try to detach from them enough to just take successful actions. And that is where I focus the most, which is like, I just need to be able to detach from my thoughts enough that I can just follow the plan that I had.

• 37:03Speaker 01

  And that's honestly it. I don't even try to...

• 37:07Speaker 01

  I mean, yes, I can refrain them. I would say like, I can refute them. Sometimes I look at it like, almost like the thought is on trial. Like, show me the evidence in either direction, which is like, okay, cool. Evidence that it could be true, evidence that it could be false. But both of these things are trying to create certainty.

• 37:27Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? Like, we want certainty that our negative thoughts aren't true, but what if they are? Life, like certainty is not guaranteed. Nothing's guaranteed. And so for me, it's like, I actually have even given up trying to find the evidence for a thought being true or not. I'm just like, you have no idea. Maybe it is, and maybe the worst thing ever happens.

• 37:47Speaker 01

  You're not gonna know unless you go forward anyways.

• 37:49Lewis Howes?

  And it's almost like, is this a helpful thought in helping me accomplish my goals?

• 37:53Speaker 01

  Right, like, is it true? I don't know, maybe, but is it useful? No, well then, I'm not gonna think about it.

• 37:57Lewis Howes?

  Right, right, exactly.

• 37:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:59Lewis Howes?

  What would you say then is the biggest thing that is holding back young female entrepreneurs today?

• 38:07Speaker 01

  Female specifically?

• 38:12Speaker 01

  You know, I've never identified as a female entrepreneur. I've just identified as actually a business person.

• 38:18Lewis Howes?

  You know, it's funny, I wasn't even gonna say female because I knew you were gonna say this. Swear to God, I wasn't gonna say this. But I'm thinking, the only reason I said female, and it's so funny you said that, because the only reason I'm thinking that is because I feel like some women are going to say that they really relate to you and how you worry about how people judge you or something, right? And so I was thinking, is that the thing that females have over male entrepreneurs? Because I don't think Alex is thinking about, oh, people judge the way I look. I don't think he's worried about that in running a business, you know what I mean? So I knew you were gonna say this, but I feel like women need to know,

• 38:59Lewis Howes?

  or I feel like you would have a pulse on what maybe women are experiencing and what's holding them back from being a successful entrepreneur or from the ability to make more money or whatever it might be. So I'm glad you said that in response, but hopefully you have another answer.

• 39:15Speaker 01

  I do, I do. Yeah, yeah. So I was going somewhere with it, don't worry.

• 39:17Lewis Howes?

  Okay, so the biggest thing that's holding female entrepreneurs back?

• 39:21Speaker 01

  I think the way I view it is when I say I've never identified as a female entrepreneur, it's because I don't find it useful. Because then I think of all the reasons why I should act differently than a male entrepreneur and why I should think that the rules of money and business should apply differently to me. And I have played by the rules that I've just seen make people successful, whether they're a man or a woman. And so that's been really helpful for me. But what I think holds a lot of women back is I think that women have traditionally been conditioned by society to be valued for other things not making money. And I don't think that's bad. I also don't think it's bad if you want to make money.

• 40:03Speaker 01

  But I do think that like one thing that I will never be able to rid myself of is that I am valued for also how I look. If I looked like a troll, I do not think Alex would marry me. For real, I don't think he would.

• 40:16Lewis Howes?

  And that's not bad if he doesn't, yeah.

• 40:18Speaker 01

  Right, women, if you look at the most popular women in the world, they're usually very attractive, a lot of them. Their women can literally gain status through just being attractive and nothing else, right? I'm sure men can too, but many more men are valued for money and ability to produce. And so I think there's, first off, women have, if they want to make more money and build a business, they also have something, other things that take their attention. They've been conditioned to also value these things and work to make these things better in their life. And I get that.

• 40:49Speaker 01

  The second piece to it is when it comes to what I think holds women back is the fear of being put into one of these boxes that I think like pop culture now does, right? It's either like, you're either like a, I don't know, because I'm not as connected to pop culture. But I see it's like a lot of women that are like, I'm a single female entrepreneur, like making money on like F guys. Then I see like, I'm a businesswoman, I'm all about my business and I'm this and I'm that. Or then I see like, I'm a traditional wife and I have kids and I stay home and it's like, I just say like, what if you could just say you're, you're an and, not an or? You don't need to be this or that or that, you could be and. I love to cook for my husband.

• 41:32Speaker 01

  I also like to run a company that's gonna be worth a billion dollars next year. Can I not make him cookies and run a billion dollar company?

• 41:38Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 41:39Speaker 01

  And I wanna do both. And I think that I used to think that I had to pick between those things, between being a good wife, between being, you know, between my health and in shape and liking to do hair and makeup and between doing business. And that actually, when in the beginning, when I thought that I had to sacrifice being a good wife and, you know, caring about what I looked like, it made me worse at business because I was suppressing these other pieces of my life that I actually do value. And I said, why am I suppressing those things? And I said, well, because I'm afraid that men are gonna judge me for it. Well, then screw it, let them judge me, and I do get judged all the time, and I'm okay with it. It's okay if people don't understand me, it's okay if they don't understand

• 42:25Speaker 01

  my actual capabilities, what I actually do, if they think I'm all these things. I know who I am, and on a daily basis, I'm with myself at the end of the day. And so as long as I'm living my life in accordance with things I value, I think that most women just believe that they have to fit in a box of one of these things. You're either this girl, this girl, this girl, or this girl that fits in these boxes that you see on social media. It's like, you could be a little bit of all those things. It's like, who do you wanna be? And I think for me, it's, I've learned, I don't fit in a box. And I think a lot of people think I'm one thing or another, or they feel confused. And that's okay.

• 42:56Lewis Howes?

  It doesn't matter.

• 42:57Speaker 01

  It doesn't matter.

• 42:58Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 42:58Speaker 01

  So what? Doesn't change my life.

• 43:00Lewis Howes?

  Sure. From your experience then, from the challenges you had growing up to where you are now, what would you say are three truths that young women need to know about what's holding them back in life in general?

• 43:21Speaker 01

  I think that young women

• 43:25Speaker 01

  need to, the main thing holding them back is their relationship with their emotions.

• 43:30Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 43:31Speaker 01

  Yes. There's all, think about all the things people say to women about their emotions. Like, oh, yeah, you're, well, I mean, let's just be real, they're like, you're on your period, of course, you're emotional and mean to people. And it's, it's like, we actually give ourselves like a seven day pass to be an emotional wreck. Actually, my life changed when I stopped doing that.

• 43:48Speaker 01

  So it's like, the first thing, I think, is just because you're a woman doesn't mean you cannot regulate your emotions just like anybody else. Is it harder? Yes, but then that means you have the chance to get more skills. You will be more skilled than the men at regulating your emotions if you learn how to regulate them. And so for me, I think, like, learning to manage your emotions and having a good relationship with them, not allowing them to dictate your life and how you act and become excuses for why you act out in certain ways. Like, a lot of women, you see all the memes and things like that, it's like, yeah, be crazy, it's like... Yeah, funny, but also like not funny. Like for me to achieve the goals I have in life and in business. I can't have my employees be like, "You're acting crazy today."

• 44:30Lewis Howes?

  Right, right, right. They need to respect you and need to...

• 44:33Speaker 01

  And nobody wants an unstable leader. So like for women to lead, it's very hard to be unstable. Where's instability come from? Inability to regulate your emotions. And so I think that's the first thing is don't listen to what people say about how you just can't because of your hormones and because of this, because of... You can't, it just will be harder.

• 44:52Lewis Howes?

  What if, Leila, that people are saying, "You know, that seems very unapproachable because my body is, you know, expressing itself to me, or I just feel like the world is throwing so much chaos at me that it's impossible to regulate emotions. She's out of touch, she's got money, she's got people that help her with things. I don't have that help or that money. So it's exhausting to regulate emotions." What would you say to that?

• 45:16Speaker 01

  It is harder for some people than others. It might be harder for women. It might be harder when you have less resources. It is not impossible. You have less skills. I think it is harder the less skilled you are. Some people are incredibly skilled and they've learned it from... They had great frames growing up. They had great mothers, they had great fathers to look up to. Some people didn't, and some of those people, it's harder, it's more exhausting. But what would you rather have? A life that is perpetually capped by the fact that you can't regulate your emotions? Or a year of learning that is exhausting, but at the end of it, you realize you can achieve your dreams because you've learned how to do this?

• 45:54Lewis Howes?

  You become someone new.

• 45:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:56Lewis Howes?

  In that process, yeah.

• 45:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I didn't, I mean, geez, I didn't have all the resource I have now when I was learning this. And by the way, money doesn't help you learn how to regulate your emotions. I mean, once you have money, you've got lawsuits, you've got people trying to take your money, you've got people trying to steal your money. I mean, it's just same problems, they just look different.

• 46:12Lewis Howes?

  And bigger.

• 46:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, and so...

• 46:15Lewis Howes?

  So that's the first, that's the first truth that you'd say?

• 46:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's the first truth I would say.

• 46:20Lewis Howes?

  What's the second thing that holds women back?

• 46:23Speaker 01

  Fear of judgment. You know, I think so many women, I actually, I met with, when I first started making content, I met with a creator, I'll just say, somebody who many, quite a famous person who had a wife, who also made content in the space. And I said, like, do you have any advice for me? Because I want to make content because I think that it would help me get the right people on my team. I think that it's something I've wanted to do. It's like, I want to help people avoid the things that I have learned.

• 46:50Speaker 01

  But like, what would you say? And this person and one other person that were very large male influencers said the same thing. They were like, you just can't care so much how you look. And I was like, what do you mean? And they're both like, you know, what stopped my wife is she just won't be recorded without any makeup on. And I was like, huh.

• 47:12Speaker 01

  And so, you know, I've thought about that and I really recognize it because like, I like to have my hair and makeup done. But I'm not going to make it a necessity to get things done. Like, we do vlogging, where it's like, you know, it's like they're vlogging me and I'm like, yeah, I do not look good in that.

• 47:26Lewis Howes?

  You still judge yourself, though. You're still like, huh.

• 47:28Speaker 01

  Right. But the thing that I've realized is if I act the opposite of that. So if I allow people to capture me without makeup, if I don't wear makeup to work every day, if I don't do my hair and look perfect every day, then the thoughts of judgment start to get less loud. And so I think for a lot of women, we're so feared, we're so fearful of being judged for not upholding the standards that society puts on us. And it's not the standards that are the problem, it's the fear of the standards and the judgment that we put on ourselves about them. You know, men also have standards that they fear to fail or fear that they're not living up to. Everyone does.

• 48:09Speaker 01

  I think that just for women, the ones that hold them back are the ones that I look at and I just say like, is it making it harder or easier for me to achieve my goals if I judge myself for this? And for me, usually it makes it harder to achieve my goals if I'm judging myself every moment that I'm on camera, every moment that I'm making content, because I see those women, it's like they can put out a lot less. And when you put out a lot less content and you're not able to show up in front of your team unless you look a certain way and you do all these things, well then, you get less practice at doing that thing.

• 48:41Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 48:42Speaker 01

  And I think it just all stems from judgment, because, I mean, you would be shocked at the amount of people that are just afraid to be on camera because they don't, they're not the exact weight that they want. They don't look like a thin model, they don't look like, you know, what beauty standards are today. And that actually stops women from being in business, showing up the way they want, you know, speaking on stages, doing podcasts, making content. It's this fear of judgment.

• 49:07Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 49:07Speaker 01

  And I think that before you change, because maybe, maybe it is good if you lose weight, maybe it is good if you, you know, turn this, that, but that is separate from the fear of judgment of others for not being perfect all the time.

• 49:20Lewis Howes?

  Right. And the third thing?

• 49:22Speaker 01

  Third truth for women. You know, I think that it's probably learning that perfect is an impossible task. And in trying to be perfect, you're probably much less likeable.

• 49:36Lewis Howes?

  (laughing)

• 49:41Speaker 01

  You know, I think for a long time, I just tried to be what everybody else wanted me to be.

• 49:45Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 49:45Speaker 01

  Be perfect in the eyes of everyone. Like, how can I be the perfect leader? How can I be the perfect wife? How can I be the perfect boss? How can I be the perfect friend? How can I be the perfect daughter? And that led me to be miserable, which actually led me to be less liked by everybody. Because I was just trying to be what everybody else wanted me to be, rather than what I wanted to be.

• 50:07Lewis Howes?

  Right. You weren't being authentic to yourself.

• 50:09Speaker 01

  No. I'm like, maybe I am a bad daughter at times. I don't call my dad sometimes for weeks. Maybe I am a bad friend, because I don't text my friends back for sometimes a week or two. And sometimes I'm like, I just don't feel like talking. Like, maybe I am a bad boss, because today I canceled my meeting with somebody. Like, I think I've had to accept that at times, we are all the opposite of what we want to be. And that's okay. And so like, the best advice I can give anyone is like, I take the, I call it the "I am bad" frame. I am bad. At times, in certain circumstances. Like, at times, in certain circumstances, I am bad at something. Or I am a bad wife, a bad boss, a bad friend. And?

• 50:52Speaker 01

  You know?

• 50:53Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 50:53Speaker 01

  And I think for a long time, even just saying, "I'm a bad boss," like, and visceral reaction, because I was just like, I put so much pressure on myself to be the perfect boss.

• 51:04Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 51:05Speaker 01

  But the reality is, is that if you want to be great at anything, you're going to be imperfect, judged, and disliked at times.

• 51:12Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 51:13Speaker 01

  And I think specifically for women, especially because I think um, there's a desire to please people. That is very hard for women specifically.

• 51:22Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm. Let's say you got a billion dollars in the bank, cash in the bank. What is the best use of that money for you? What will bring you the most joy and the greatest impact if you're able to generate that much money in in the bank?

• 51:40Speaker 01

  You know, I don't know if it would bring me, it would bring me the most joy. I wouldn't say happiness, but I would like to make the communities a better place. I'd like to make the world, like, more than just business, you know, and I think um, if I had a billion dollars cash in the bank, there's a lot that I could do to not just make business better, but make the environment in which we do business better. Um, which airs into a side that I don't wish to get into, but at some point, you know, um,

• 52:08Speaker 01

  you can't really fight that there are systems beyond your control, like politics and the community and the government, and I would love to help make that entire system better so that things are better, not just for business owners, but for people who are just like every day, working a nine to five job.

• 52:23Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 52:25Speaker 01

  Because I love helping people build great businesses, and I love building a great business and creating a place where people love to work. I also just like helping people in general. And so at some point, you know, there was a moment probably about six months ago, right? Um, was sitting on the couch with Alex, and it was like, well, what happens after this, you know, a decade from now, and?

• 52:43Lewis Howes?

  When you've accomplished all these big goals.

• 52:45Speaker 01

  Right, and I was like, you know, it like scares me to say it, but like, I would like to help more than we help now. What that looks like to me is in this way, which terrifies me, but? I also just like look at it, I'm like, if I have these skills in life to be able to do these things and create the Sanappa and help people to this degree, then I feel like a responsibility to do something bigger with it because I know that the same skills apply to do things, to build great communities, to build great schools, hospitals, like all those things.

• 53:14Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 53:15Speaker 01

  You know, and, and that is something that I would, if I were to like, I look at it like, I want to go down like just like beaten, just like a disgusting corpse.

• 53:25Lewis Howes?

  Fully used up.

• 53:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, I would like to go down, um, knowing that I made the world better, even beyond business. And that is a way that I think, you know, helping the communities, like building communities.

• 53:37Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 53:38Speaker 01

  I think that's how we do it. I look at it like, we're so isolated now. Um, especially like in America, it's like people are so isolated. It's like the sense of community, even, you know, taking, having a fully remote company to going in person, having a headquarters, having this huge building, it has made my quality of life so much higher and many of the people in it. And I see that and I'm like, how do we create more of that?

• 53:59Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, more community. Yeah.

• 54:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:02Lewis Howes?

  If you, um, hypothetical scenario, if you were able to be a psychologist detached from yourself, but you were looking at yourself as a psychologist and you were able to analyze your entire life since you know you, everything you've been through, all the ups and downs, every thought, every emotion, every heartbreak, every joy. And you're the psychologist, what would you say are the, the three main things that have built you into becoming the successful person that you are? What are the drivers?

• 54:40Speaker 01

  What drives? I would say that she has learned to channel her obsession into something healthy. It's the first one, because I'm very obsessive. Um, I think a lot of people like you could consider that in many ways a disorder and I've been diagnosed as such, but, um, I look at it as a superpower. And I'm obsessed about things that make my life and other people's lives better. Whereas it may have used to be things that were not productive. Um, I would say that's the first one. I would say this, the second one is resilient.

• 55:16Speaker 01

  I think my ability to bounce back after something really, really bad happens is like, it doesn't take me long. And it continues to get shorter and shorter. So I'd say resilience is the second one. Like can just fail epically. And I can just focus on like, let's just try again. Not gonna think about the failure and how bad it hurt and all that. Like, I'm just gonna follow the plan and do it again.

• 55:41Speaker 01

  I would say the third one is that I'm smart enough to figure out how to make things work, but dumb enough to try things. Like, I actually have a decent amount of friends who are incredibly intelligent. I do not put myself in that camp. And they're so intelligent, they paralyze themselves. I think I'm just smart enough to make things work, but not too smart to not try.

• 56:01Lewis Howes?

  And gullible mouth to be like, ah, I can make it happen. Yeah, yeah.

• 56:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. And I think, um, yes, I would say those are probably the three things.

• 56:09Lewis Howes?

  Uh huh.

• 56:10Speaker 01

  If that made any sense.

• 56:11Lewis Howes?

  What's the question you wish more people asked you that they never ask?

• 56:21Speaker 01

  You know, I think just in general, um,

• 56:27Speaker 01

  I've enjoyed this conversation, but many conversations that I have when people ask me questions, they ask me about my relationship with Alex and about, you know, being a wife to him and what's he like and what? And I love my husband and I love him as a business partner. But I genuinely have more interest talking about business and self-development and personal development than I do what Alex eats for lunch. And so, you know, something that I was talking about yesterday, because my assistants, they're like, hey, this podcast you went on, I went on a podcast like a week ago. And it's like, they were like, what's it like being with Alex? And I was like, is this all you think I have to offer?

• 57:04Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 57:05Speaker 01

  You know, and so then I was like, I wish more people would ask me. How to build what I've built and how to become a person who can build it. And so I think like very much in line with what you've asked me today as well as like I'm happy to get into like tactical things as well.

• 57:21Speaker 01

  More so because I think that that's what I think I offer that's most valuable to the world and I'm most interested in talking about.

• 57:27Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 57:28Speaker 01

  You know?

• 57:29Lewis Howes?

  So you wish people to ask less about Alex and more about you.

• 57:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I think, you know, we've talked about it, which is like until I unless I decide to build a company completely autonomously autonomously on my own. I don't think that people are going to know they're going to see me as capable of doing what I've done. And I'm okay with that. I also don't want to build a company of my own. I think that we have what we have because we created it together. We're both really exceptional at what we do. So why would I do that? Just because I want people to see me a certain way?

• 57:59Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 57:59Speaker 01

  It's like, I don't want to do that, you know? So, um, you know, he's like my number one supporter and he is like, yeah, why are people asking you this? Tell them it's a waste. He's like, I would like you to just snap back in these interviews and just be like, can you stop asking me about mine?

• 58:15Speaker 01

  He's like inappropriate, but uh.

• 58:17Lewis Howes?

  It's all good.

• 58:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, um, so I think that's something that it's like funny because I think you always think you're getting over it. Because, you know, I wasn't on social media for so long. I was internal. He's very well spoken, very articulate. He looks how he looks. He's so good at all these things. He's very smart. And so it's like, okay, what are you, a secretary? And it's like in the beginning, it actually was that, right? And now it's come very far, but it's still, uh, you know, I think people are like, oh, she must love talking about what it's like to be married to him.

• 58:51Speaker 01

  No, I'm just married to him, but like I'm, I love business. I love personal development. I love, I love talking about relationships. But like, what does somebody for lunch? You know, it's like, I'm like, I'm good.

• 59:02Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. What's he like in the gym? Yeah. What's he doing?

• 59:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just like, this isn't valuable.

• 59:09Lewis Howes?

  What's the, uh, you know, not to speak about him, but I just did interview him before you. He says he has.

• 59:16Speaker 01

  Trust you, Louis.

• 59:16Lewis Howes?

  He says he has this, um, more of a reference to what he's, he's talked about. He has a thing called the Solomon.

• 59:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:24Lewis Howes?

  Paradox or whatever. Or he has a conversation with himself at 85. He said it's, it's been about five times this year. He's had this conversation with his 85 year old hypothetical self.

• 59:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:37Lewis Howes?

  Do you ever have a conversation with your older self and ask, what do I need to do? Or what lesson do I need to learn right now to help me get to where I want to be at 85?

• 59:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, I would say that it's less my older self, but more I have similar prompts. And I think the question that I ask most of the time is, I have two questions. One is, well, okay, I have three. I'll give you two questions in a frame. The two questions are, what would I need to do to respect myself more coming out of this situation? Because for me, it's like, if I don't have the utmost respect for myself, I don't think I can do anything I've done in business. I don't think I can show up here. I don't think I can show up for my team. I don't think I can show up for my husband. I have to respect myself first and foremost. That's my priority. The second is, which move will make it easier for me to achieve my goals?

• 1:00:32Speaker 01

  I'm always thinking, how do I make it easier to achieve my goals? How do I make it easier, easier, easier? Like, it's hard enough to achieve big goals. How do I make it easier? So those are the two questions. And then the prompt that I have is not the Solomons. It's actually, I look at it like I have my values, right? And I look at my values as they are my board of directors. And so every time that I'm presented with a decision or a situation, it's not what do I want to do? It's not what do I feel like doing? But it's what decision, what action is approved by your board of directors? And those board of directors are my values.

• 1:01:08Lewis Howes?

  It's almost like, what do your values demand of you doing?

• 1:01:10Speaker 01

  Yes. And I'm, I'm, like, if there's one thing that I actually really feel confident in, well, there's two things. One, I'm honest, like, to a fault. I cannot, I cannot lie. The second is that I absolutely make decisions by my values. It can be gut-wrenching. It can be, I'm up all night sweating. It can be, but I will make decisions based on my values. And that visual has helped me so many times, especially in business, because... You know, there's so many deals, for example, like Home Across the Table. It's like, man, this company is killing it. But I'm like, this founder just

• 1:01:44Lewis Howes?

  Something's off.

• 1:01:45Speaker 01

  My values. Yeah. And I'm like, I don't want to give this person money.

• 1:01:50Lewis Howes?

  When did you discover your values? And what are those core values for you now?

• 1:01:54Speaker 01

  You know, it's funny, I discovered those values to myself. I'm gonna say it was when we were selling our first company and I took a lot of time to think about like, what are my values? Right. And I made it easy by turning those into my company values. Because I think that it's so silly that we have different values for a company than we would for ourselves. And it's like, wouldn't you want the values of the company to be the values of the founder? And so the first one is sincere candor, which is like being honest. The second one is unimpeachable character, being someone that people are proud to associate with on and off the field. Meaning for me, like my personal life and my business life are in order. Like me, like behind the scenes, like doing anything crazy.

• 1:02:38Speaker 01

  Like if I'm gonna do something crazy behind the scenes, I have to be okay with showing everybody as well. Like I just can't, I'm not gonna hide stuff.

• 1:02:46Speaker 01

  But I don't do anything crazy because I would like to live in a way that is unimpeachable. And then the third one is competitive greatness.

• 1:02:52Lewis Howes?

  Competitive greatness.

• 1:02:53Speaker 01

  Competitive greatness. I got that from John Wooden. I was a huge fan of the pyramid of success. I don't know, I'm guessing.

• 1:02:59Lewis Howes?

  Of course, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:02Speaker 01

  And that is you play the game for the love of the game and because you want to be excellent, not because you want the outcome. And so it's really like falling in love with the process. And so it's like every time I'm making a decision, I'm like, does this align with my values? And I try to keep it just with those three because if there's more than three, it's very difficult to make decisions quickly. When you have like 17 values.

• 1:03:21Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good.

• 1:03:23Speaker 01

  You know what I mean?

• 1:03:24Lewis Howes?

  Sincere candor, unimpeachable character, competitive greatness.

• 1:03:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:29Lewis Howes?

  That's great.

• 1:03:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:32Lewis Howes?

  I've got a couple of final questions for you, Larry. This has been powerful. I appreciate you.

• 1:03:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:37Lewis Howes?

  I know you are a part of, I'm pretty sure you're a part of Alex's book launches too, right? But you don't have a book yourself yet.

• 1:03:46Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:03:46Lewis Howes?

  Are you thinking of writing one in the future or you're not sure?

• 1:03:50Speaker 01

  I really want to write one. I really don't think-

• 1:03:53Lewis Howes?

  It's a lot of work though.

• 1:03:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, I really don't think I have time-

• 1:03:55Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, it's a lot.

• 1:03:56Speaker 01

  With my current, I would have to change things significantly. But yeah, it's funny because people see book launches, they're like, wow, Alex's book launch, like when he did it, I was like, I ran the entire thing.

• 1:04:04Lewis Howes?

  Assuming you did it.

• 1:04:06Speaker 01

  I literally was, I ran his book launch and I was our CFO and the CEO during his last launch. It was the most, it was one of the most stressful. I actually gave up working out. So I was like, I don't know how to do all this. My CFO retired. I couldn't get a new one. I'm already being the CEO, which all the departments were on to me. And then he had nobody to run the book launch and I didn't have time to get someone up to speed. So I said, I will do it.

• 1:04:27Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 1:04:27Speaker 01

  Yeah. And so it was, uh, it was so fun at the same time.

• 1:04:30Lewis Howes?

  That's cool. Yeah. You guys crushed it. But are you a part of, did you help create the scaling course also, the free $100 million scaling course?

• 1:04:38Speaker 01

  Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah. That's both of us.

• 1:04:39Lewis Howes?

  Okay, cool. Um, is that the main thing we'd want to send people to today? Or is there something else besides following you on social media everywhere that we'd want to send people to?

• 1:04:49Speaker 01

  I would say the scaling course or my podcast is probably fine. Yeah.

• 1:04:53Lewis Howes?

  What's the, what's your podcast? Where can people find it?

• 1:04:56Speaker 01

  Build, Laila Hormozi Build. I, I don't know. Is there a link?

• 1:05:00Lewis Howes?

  Apple, Spotify, YouTube.

• 1:05:01Speaker 01

  Apple, Spotify, YouTube, Laila Hormozi Build. That's where I would send it.

• 1:05:04Lewis Howes?

  So people can check out your podcast, Build with Laila Hormozi. Um, social media, Laila Hormozi everywhere, YouTube, Instagram, et cetera. Acquisition.com if people are interested in learning more about what you guys are up to there. That's where they can get the course also, the free $100 million scaling course.

• 1:05:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, and there's-

• 1:05:22Lewis Howes?

  Alex said there's a link there somewhere for it. So I'm assuming it'll be on there at acquisition.com.

• 1:05:29Lewis Howes?

  This, anything else we can do to be of service to you today?

• 1:05:32Speaker 01

  No, this is awesome. It's a great conversation.

• 1:05:34Lewis Howes?

  Okay, I got two final questions. This is a question I ask everyone at the end. It's called the three truths. So imagine hypothetical scenario. You get to live as long as you want on this earth, but it's the last day. And you get to accomplish all of your wildest dreams. These 10 year goals and you blow through those in the next 20 or 50 year goals, they all happen. But for whatever reason, in this hypothetical scenario, all of your rants on your podcast are deleted. This content is gone. Every piece of content you've ever put out, we don't have access to. So we don't have your information anymore of what you've shared. But on the last day, Leila, you get to leave behind three lessons to the world. And this is all we would have to remember you by your content. What would those three lessons be for you?

• 1:06:20Speaker 01

  The first would be, success is available to anybody willing to take successful actions. You don't have to believe that you're going to be successful to have success. You just have to take action as if you will be. That would be the first one.

• 1:06:36Speaker 01

  The second one would be,

• 1:06:39Speaker 01

  you don't ever really feel better, but you get better at feeling bad.

• 1:06:46Speaker 01

  I like to always say that I'm pretty dang good at feeling awful.

• 1:06:49Lewis Howes?

  Hmm, I like that.

• 1:06:51Speaker 01

  I think it's a skill.

• 1:06:54Speaker 01

  And then the last one.

• 1:07:02Speaker 01

  I think if you want to win big, you have to be willing to lose big. I think if you want to love big, you have to be willing to have your heart broken. And I think that if you want to have a really big life, you have to be willing to just take a lot of losses in general.

• 1:07:16Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's just been the case in my life, which is just, you, it's so hard to access the really big expansion in life if you're not willing, if you're not willing to lose.

• 1:07:30Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:30Speaker 01

  In all scenarios.

• 1:07:32Lewis Howes?

  These are good truths. I like those.

• 1:07:34Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:07:36Lewis Howes?

  Before I ask the final question, Leila, I want to acknowledge you for. I just don't think I've seen this type of content from you and I want to acknowledge you for leaning into this and expressing in this way because I think it's actually going to help a lot more people than you think. And whether millions of people watch this or hundreds of people, the people that watch and listen are going to be deeply impacted for a long time because of what you said today. Because I think people see you or perceive you in a certain way. And what you shared today, just you showed people a different side of you, I think, that is going to give people a lot more hope in order to overcome certain pains and challenges they have in their life right now. And hopefully just getting into taking the actions, the successful actions, so they can

• 1:08:21Lewis Howes?

  become more successful. And not allowing their negative thoughts or their emotions to consume their life and think they're not worthy of accomplishing what they want. So I want to acknowledge you for opening up and sharing and also for being on your own journey at 32, I think you said, I think we're allowed to talk about your age, but at 32, you're all right? Just being able to navigate and manage it all. So harmoniously, all the business, the judgment, the pressure, the media, it's like you've got a lot going on and seeing you navigate it imperfectly, but smoothly, at the same time, it's really beautiful to watch. So I acknowledge you for that. And I'm excited to see what you create, not only in the next few years, but these 10-year goals that I've got written down.

• 1:09:06Lewis Howes?

  So we're going to keep in track and see what happens. My final question, Leila, what's your definition of greatness?

• 1:09:13Speaker 01

  Leaving no potential on the table.

• 1:09:18Lewis Howes?

  There you go. Thanks for being here, Leila. Appreciate it. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. If you enjoyed this and if you found value, make sure to share this with one friend. Just copy and paste the link and text a friend where you feel would be truly inspired by this episode as well. And also make sure to click the follow button on Apple or Spotify, wherever you're listening to this episode, because we have a massive episode coming up next that I do not want you to miss. So make sure to follow this and be On the lookout for the next episode coming with some massive content and guests. Also, I have a brand new book called Make Money Easy.

• 1:09:59Lewis Howes?

  And if you're looking to create more financial freedom in your life, you want abundance in your life, and you want to stop making money hard in your life, but you want to make it easier, you want to make it flow, you want to feel abundant, then make sure to go to makemoneymeasbook.com right now and get yourself a copy. I really think this is going to help you transform your relationship with money this moment, moving forward. We have some big guests and content coming up. Make sure you're following and stay tuned to the next episode on the School of Greatness. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness.

• 1:10:42Lewis Howes?

  Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad-free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you, if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.