944. Q&AF: Rethinking Success, Redefining Life's Mission & Balancing Business Responsibilities

On today's episode, Andy answers live call-in questions on how to rethink success when your job is going well but feels unfulfilling, how to discover your real purpose in life, and how to work through the difficulties of co-owning a small business.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:16Andy Frisella?

  What is up guys? It's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realists saying goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys. Today, we have Q and A F. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. Now, if you want to submit your questions to be answered on the show, you can do that a number of different ways. DJ's gonna tell you how.

• 0:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, the first way guys, you can email your questions in to [email protected]. You guys can also submit your questions in the YouTube comments on the Q and A F episodes, or just click the link in the bio in the description below, if you'd like to be pulled to be a caller.

• 0:53Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. Is that it?

• 0:55Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 0:56Andy Frisella?

  Okay.

• 0:56Speaker 01

  Yep, that was all.

• 0:57Andy Frisella?

  So ask us your questions, we'll give you your answers. If this is your first time listening, we have multiple formats of the show. Today's Q and A F, tomorrow's gonna be C T I. That stands for Cruise the Internet. That's where we put topics on the screen, we speculate on what's going on. We talk about how we, the people, need to solve these problems being created in society and uh... Yeah, that's it.

• 1:22Speaker 01

  That's it.

• 1:23Andy Frisella?

  What else do we got?

• 1:27Speaker 01

  We do have a fee.

• 1:29Andy Frisella?

  We got 75 Hard Verses.

• 1:31Speaker 01

  We got that.

• 1:31Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 1:32Speaker 01

  Real talks.

• 1:32Andy Frisella?

  We got real talks. We got all kinds of stuff.

• 1:34Speaker 01

  Talk some real.

• 1:35Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 1:36Speaker 01

  Shows within the show, baby.

• 1:37Andy Frisella?

  Hey, if you're unfamiliar with 75 Hard, where the fuck you been? But if you're interested in it and get it for free, it's episode 208 on the audio feed. Again, that's 208 on the audio feed. 75 Hard is the initial phase of the Live Hard program, which is the world's most famous mental transformation program ever, and it's free. Alright, episode 208 in the audio feed. And then, you can get the book, called The Book on Mental Toughness, at andyfrisella.com. It is not free. We do have a fee for the show. Fee is very simple. Do us a favor. Don't be a hoe.

• 2:13Speaker 01

  Show the show.

• 2:14Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. What's up?

• 2:15Speaker 01

  Hi. Hi, how's it going, man?

• 2:19Andy Frisella?

  Good.

• 2:19Speaker 01

  Yeah. Just had to replace the rim on my truck.

• 2:23Andy Frisella?

  What happened?

• 2:23Speaker 01

  Benson cracked it again.

• 2:28Andy Frisella?

  Did you ever find the snake?

• 2:29Speaker 01

  No.

• 2:30Andy Frisella?

  Really?

• 2:31Speaker 01

  Yep. Now, you know, so, you know what shit's happening? You're thinking like, you know,

• 2:37Speaker 01

  it's almost like a hypochondriac almost. So as soon as I was like driving yesterday, I started getting smells. You know what I'm saying? Like I started smelling shit coming through the vents.

• 2:47Andy Frisella?

  What, you think it killed it?

• 2:48Speaker 01

  Well, I think so. But, so like the first one, I started smelling like a skunk. It was just a black dude in front of me smoking weed. So I'm like, okay, we're good. Then I started smelling like some like, it was just like weird, like nasty burnt plastic. I'm like, what's that? And then I saw a white dude smoking meth driving in front of me. So I'm like, okay, got it. That's not that.

• 3:06Andy Frisella?

  So it's not snake?

• 3:07Speaker 01

  It's not the snake.

• 3:10Andy Frisella?

  So you didn't smell the snake?

• 3:11Speaker 01

  No, I didn't. I was just freaking out thinking I was, man. Yeah, I don't know, dude. I don't, it's weird, bro. It's so weird.

• 3:17Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 3:18Speaker 01

  It's so weird.

• 3:19Andy Frisella?

  Well.

• 3:20Speaker 01

  I don't like it.

• 3:21Andy Frisella?

  R I P.

• 3:22Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah. But, uh, but yeah, and then I had to replace a rim on the tire, you know?

• 3:28Andy Frisella?

  How'd that happen?

• 3:29Speaker 01

  St. Louis potholes, bro. We got some bad roads here.

• 3:32Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, how come I never have to replace rims?

• 3:34Speaker 01

  You don't go, you don't go to the city like that, though.

• 3:36Andy Frisella?

  Yeah? You do?

• 3:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:38Andy Frisella?

  Where?

• 3:39Speaker 01

  Like fifty-five northbound, bro.

• 3:41Andy Frisella?

  Where do you go down there?

• 3:42Speaker 01

  I still go, I got family down there, bro. They still be in the shit.

• 3:44Andy Frisella?

  So that's where you hurt the rim?

• 3:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, on the state streets.

• 3:48Andy Frisella?

  Alright.

• 3:49Speaker 01

  It's hot over there.

• 3:50Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 3:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, man. So, you know, it's, it's been a good day, though. You know, I'm here. I got some good questions for you.

• 3:59Andy Frisella?

  Alright.

• 3:59Speaker 01

  We're gonna make some people better today. How you feeling?

• 4:02Andy Frisella?

  You know what?

• 4:02Speaker 01

  Five alive?

• 4:04Andy Frisella?

  I think so.

• 4:04Speaker 01

  Yeah?

• 4:05Andy Frisella?

  Think so. Still trying to get past this, uh...

• 4:09Speaker 01

  Kung flu?

• 4:09Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, whatever it was. The kung flu. The Chinese virus.

• 4:16Speaker 01

  China. That's right.

• 4:17Andy Frisella?

  Why do you keep calling it the Chinese virus? Cause it's from China.

• 4:24Speaker 01

  That's right. That's right. Well, yeah, man, let's uh, let's, let's do it. Let's uh, let's get some calls in. Uh, I got three of them.

• 4:32Andy Frisella?

  All right.

• 4:32Speaker 01

  So let's knock these out. All right. Yeah. First question, uh, we got a write in for you. Andy, I've been teaching martial arts for almost 20 years while simultaneously being a full-time school teacher. Uh, I never did it for money. I did it because it gave me a way to help people transform their lives. Uh, but now I'm tired. Uh, I'm five years away from retirement and I'm struggling to keep the school open. Part of me wants to close it, take my time back and start pouring into the people in my immediate circle. The ones who've often taken a backseat while I've served this passion for two decades. I know I don't need your permission to make this decision.

• 5:14Speaker 01

  What I am asking is for your perspective. In your view, does success have to be measured by big accomplishments? Or can it be found in the smaller, quieter things we invest in? I feel guilty for wanting to stop, like I'll be letting others down, but I'm stuck at this crossword, uh, crossroads. And I want to hear how you see it. I would appreciate your thoughts on this. I have a month left to make this decision.

• 5:42Andy Frisella?

  Well, what's it matter what I think or what I see? You're, you're the one that's got to live your life, dude. You know, I, I can't sit here and tell you what success means for every individual. I exist for those people who want to go out and build an extraordinarily traditional, successful life. Make money, kick ass, be fit, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Okay? I can't tell you how to determine success for yourself, but here's what I will tell you.

• 6:18Andy Frisella?

  Is that a lot of people, when they have a hard time making financial success, they will start to tell themselves a story about how it's not that important, and I didn't really want it, and it wasn't something that I wanted anyway, and I got tricked into going for it, and then they start blaming everybody for their own failures, and then settle into a life that they never actually wanted, because what they actually wanted ended up being much harder than they anticipated. So, my warning to you would be, it's okay to determine success as being different things than what, you know, maybe we talk about here on the show, that's fine.

• 7:04Andy Frisella?

  But, at the end of the day, most people who abandon the traditional

• 7:14Andy Frisella?

  wins of a successful life, that most people consider to be successful, making good money, being fit, having strong relationships, having a good life, doing what it is you want to do.

• 7:28Andy Frisella?

  You know, these people are moving away from that because they couldn't cut it. And so I would just warn you to make sure that's not what's going on. You know, if you've done this for 20 years and you're truly tired of it, and you want to change, and you want to do, dude, by all means, man, you know, we only got one life to live, and you gotta do the things that make you happy. But at the end of the day, being broke doesn't make anybody happy. No matter what anybody says, no matter how they try to play it, no matter how they try to spin it, that makes you fucking miserable, and it makes your life a lot harder. And, um, you know, I guess my, my answer to this question would just be, just really think about why it is you feel the way you feel.

• 8:13Andy Frisella?

  Because if it's a temporary thing and then you give it up, that that's going to be a problem because it's going to be hard to get it going back again and you might not have the opportunity to go back again. Uh, if it's a long-term feeling that you've felt for a long time and maybe you need a switch of direction in your life, that's fine too, but make no mistake dude, there's going to be no sitting around relaxing, chilling, talking about the good old days, enjoying the breeze through your hair without some financial fucking freedom. That's the reality. Okay. And you will have all these people tell you all these things about how it's not important and it's this and that and this and that, but then out the other side of their mouth,

• 8:55Andy Frisella?

  they're always complaining about how they don't have any fucking money, how life's not fair, how fucking hard it is. And they bitch and whine and complain about the things they say that they don't even want in the first place, which is the ultimate form of hypocrisy. And the most annoying form of hypocrisy because it's very apparent to everybody else from the outside, what's actually going on. You know, you're not the first person who ever decided to make a change because it was hard out there and um, you know, you gotta tell yourself, oh, well, I got different priorities now and then just give up on the dream like, bro, people have been doing this forever and

• 9:36Andy Frisella?

  it's interesting to me how many people try to hide behind this, how many people try to fool people, they try to act like they're having some sort of moral enlightenment moment when in reality, bro, you're just fucking unable to do it and you're not willing to put the work in that's required to become the person that you actually want to become. And if you're quitting on yourself like that, I could promise you the rest of your life, you're going to regret. So you gotta be very careful when you make decisions like this. Are you making this decision because it's actually the truth, what you're saying is the truth? I'm a, um, I want a change of direction. I want to do something different. I want to do different with my life. If that's true, then go do that.

• 10:20Andy Frisella?

  If it is, you are saying, man, I've never really been able to make this work. I've never been able to make this go. I've never been able, so I'm just gonna kind of retire myself and look another direction and pretend that I just want to be this vagabond hippie mentality type person. You're gonna be miserable there too. So I would just be very careful when you make decisions about changing paths on what you're doing and take all things into account. Yes, quality of life is the ultimate point here, right? Uh, we want to get to a point where we're happy, we're productive, we've got the resources to do what we want. That's what everybody wants, but

• 11:05Andy Frisella?

  you know, we've somehow in this country have started to mistake

• 11:13Andy Frisella?

  pulling away from what some people will call the rat race into some little, you know, like simpleton life, which by the way is fine. Okay. But you think you're not gonna have any fucking problems, dude. I mean,

• 11:29Andy Frisella?

  you're gonna have problems. It's gonna be hardships. There's gonna be things you can't do. There's gonna be limitations. You're, and if you're okay with those things, that's fine. But the reality is from my experience, most people that ask questions like I'm being asked right now are doing so because it's very fucking hard at the moment. And they're trying to justify moving on to something else. And they're trying to make their quitting sound more

• 11:57Andy Frisella?

  palatable.

• 11:57Speaker 01

  Acceptable to everybody.

• 11:59Andy Frisella?

  Correct, and themselves. And it's just another justification that our bitch voice tells us uh, about how we want to live our life. And, and then once we get into it, we're right back where we started where it's like, fuck dude, I want more than this. This is not what I wanted. And then you're back at zero. So

• 12:14Speaker 01

  20 years.

• 12:15Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, dude, it's a hard, it's a hard decision to make. And I think a lot of people

• 12:21Andy Frisella?

  With the way society is right now, I mean, look dude, you see people quit their jobs and and other people cheer for them. You know what I'm saying?

• 12:29Speaker 01

  So strong.

• 12:29Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, they're like, oh, I'm so proud of you.

• 12:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're so brave.

• 12:32Andy Frisella?

  That's the weakest loserish shit on the fucking planet. And if you look, all those people that do that, all quit their jobs and are miserable and not doing shit and struggling. And they put on this face out in the world like they're so much happier and they're so this and that. But dude, you can't be that happy when you can't afford to fucking take care of your shit. You can't be that happy when you know you're leaving all your talents and skills and potential on the table. You can't be that happy when you're struggling every day to buy a fucking gallon of milk. It's just impossible. So, you know, I see through the bullshit and so does everybody else, by the way. You're not fooling anybody. Um, so I would just make sure my my perspective is what you asked for.

• 13:17Andy Frisella?

  I would just make sure that whatever you decide to do, you have a plan of what you're going to do next and it and it and it mass it masks out so that it can support your lifestyle.

• 13:31Speaker 01

  So, you know, I think I think, because I, you know, I read the emails, I read these questions and stuff that come in and I feel like there's always this common question, like at the root of it that people are really asking. And, you know, I guess I guess the question is like, when you're on the path of success, you you've you, there's plenty of metaphors and and analogies that you can, you know, put this to. But when you're on that path of success, you're climbing that ladder or you're in the the jungle, right? You're in the weeds. How, what are the signs that you look for to know that you're where you're supposed to be? How do you know I'm putting all this work in, I'm putting all this effort and how do I know that this is gonna work?

• 14:09Andy Frisella?

  Well, that's the hard part of being successful, DJ. You don't always know that dude, being able to live with the uncertainty of going down the path is part of the skill set that has to be developed for successful individuals. There's no guaranteed path for people. There was no guaranteed path for Elon Musk. There was no Guaranteed path for Jeff Bezos. There was no guaranteed path for me. There was no guaranteed path for any of these people that you look up to. They took a risk and the reason they took the risk was because instead of asking themselves, man, what's gonna happen if I go out there and fail? They asked themselves the inverse of that, which is,

• 14:51Andy Frisella?

  what's gonna happen if I never fucking try? What's gonna happen if I never go after this? What's gonna happen if I don't give it everything I got? What's my life gonna be like if I let this idea or this project or this business pass? Okay, and that is more painful to them than the idea of falling on their face. I don't give a single fuck about what anybody thinks about me falling on my fucking face. Okay, I've already accomplished more than ninety-nine point nine-nine-nine-nine-nine-nine-nine-nine percent of humans that ever motherfucking walked the face of this planet will ever accomplish. So I don't care if I fall on my fucking face. What I actually care about is if I have something that I feel driven to do

• 15:34Andy Frisella?

  and I don't do it, how am I going to feel when I'm gonna die? Okay, and that's what makes successful people, driven people, achievement happen. They don't wonder, what's gonna happen if I do this and I embarrass myself? They don't give a fuck, bro. What they wonder is, man, if I don't go do this, how am I gonna feel about it knowing that it could have worked? Or if I see someone else doing it and it works? And then I just let it sit there and, you know, I didn't do anything with it and I didn't become who I was supposed to become and I didn't get in shape and I didn't make that money and I didn't build that, you know, project or I didn't do that business or I didn't build that organization. I didn't ask that girl out. I didn't fucking didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't. Bro, you're gonna be dead.

• 16:15Andy Frisella?

  You're gonna be fucking dead. Okay, so you're really not risking anything. That's the point. All right? Nobody's gonna remember that you started a little business and fell on your fucking face uh, in thirty years. No one gives a shit. The only way they're gonna remember is if you fell on your face enough, learned enough, and built it into something amazing where it's recognized universally by everybody. Otherwise, they're not even gonna remember you falling down. You know how many fucking times I fell on my face building what we've got now? A million times. You know how many times people bring it up? Zero. They don't give a shit because I've won. Okay? Well, I haven't won.

• 16:51Speaker 01

  By the standard.

• 16:52Andy Frisella?

  By the standard, their standard. I don't feel like I've won. I feel like I'm just getting started. But.

• 16:59Andy Frisella?

  But the point is, is that you have to start thinking like a winner and like a successful person thinks and successful people understand that falling on your face in front of a bunch of fucking losers isn't shit. It doesn't matter. Don't fucking care. What the fuck do I care what people think? You know what I'm saying?

• 17:17Speaker 01

  That's the attitude.

• 17:18Andy Frisella?

  They're not paying my fucking bills. They're not, they're, you know, like dude, it's irrelevant. And, and dude, people on the beginning side of the journey.

• 17:30Andy Frisella?

  Dude, and it makes sense. Okay. Like it's their perspective, right? Like when you're, when this is your world, okay. And you're living in this little bubble that you see as your entire world and you're refusing to understand that there is this entire fucking universe outside of that bubble that has no idea who you are, doesn't care who you are, doesn't care about you. To think that they're gonna care that you fall on your face is egotistical. You're giving yourself more importance as an individual than what you actually have.

• 18:00Speaker 01

  You're worried about the wrong shit.

• 18:02Andy Frisella?

  It's, it's not even that. You're fucking arrogant. You think you're more important than you fucking actually are. You are not that important. You are not important enough for people to really give a fuck about you falling on your face. You're only important enough to you. You care about that, but the rest of the world doesn't. So if the rest of the world doesn't give a fuck, why do you give a fuck? It's like going ice skating, bro. You go ice skating, right? This is the best example I could fucking think of. Because almost everybody sucks at ice skating. Okay. When you go to fucking ice skating and you put on the fucking, now, not me, because I've played hockey my whole life, but when you put fucking skates on and you go to the little thing and you rental and you see everybody

• 18:44Andy Frisella?

  falling on your ass out there, what do you think? You don't think anything.

• 18:48Speaker 01

  No, I'm next.

• 18:49Andy Frisella?

  You got, you're like, fuck dude, I'm gonna fall on my ass too. You don't even fucking think about it. And everybody's falling on their ass, they're eating shit, they're fucking falling down in front of their kids and nobody gives a fuck. Nobody gives a fuck. Now, that's the same way business works. That's the same way achievement works. That's the same way. Setting a goal and going after it works. Everybody falls all the time. But for some reason, when it comes to this part of our lives, we have a big problem with people seeing us fall. We're like, oh, man, I don't want to fucking stumble. Bro, it's the same thing. Nobody knows what the fuck they're doing when they get started. And only after, you know, a hundred times of skating, do you see the motherfucker come out and do the

• 19:33Speaker 01

  Mallorius.

• 19:33Andy Frisella?

  Fucking triple sal cows and shit and make you look like a fucking idiot in front of your girl. You know what I'm saying? You're like, that guy's fucking gay. Like, you know, but like, dude, we fucking, we fucking don't think of it the right way. Okay? Everybody's falling down. You just don't see it. They don't get on the internet and say, ah, I fucking fell down again today. Now, guess what? I bounced a check today. Oh, guess what? I'm out of money today. Oh, guess what? Guess, they don't do that. All they do is they say, fuck, bro. I made seventy million dollars in one fucking minute. Buy my course. And that's what we're seeing. And that's not real. The realest shit is to understand that everybody falls the fuck down. And if you can't, if you can't accept that you're going to be one of those,

• 20:19Andy Frisella?

  how can you ever become the guy doing the fucking triple whoop de whoops? You know what I'm saying? You can't fucking do it.

• 20:25Speaker 01

  I'm sure he had a first day too.

• 20:26Andy Frisella?

  Dude, this, listen, bro. How are you going to become an effective ice skater? If you don't get on the fucking ice? You can't do it. You can't do it. You could sit there in the fucking stands. You could watch them. Unlimited, you can watch. You could say, oh, look at that guy. Look at this guy. Look at that guy. Look at this guy. Look at that guy. Look at this guy. You're not going to learn until you get the fuck out there. And then what you're going to realize is all the motherfuckers laughing at you, they won't even get on the fucking ice. They won't even fucking put the skates on.

• 20:55Speaker 01

  Lace up.

• 20:56Andy Frisella?

  No. So what, so why do you care what they think?

• 21:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:00Andy Frisella?

  You know what I'm saying? And this number, this, this major mental block is just not understood by people. You know, people will say, so I don't give a fuck what anybody thinks. Well, if that's the case, why aren't you doing shit? You could say that all you want, but your actions tell the story.

• 21:19Andy Frisella?

  So I just think, you know, we all have to realize like nobody's nobody you admire started out going out on the ice the first time fucking looking like Wayne Gretzky, bro. It's just not reality. And if you're not willing to look stupid, you can't do it.

• 21:36Speaker 01

  I love it, bro. I love it, man. I love it. We got a, let's get another question in, man. Let's, uh, we got a call. Let's get Brandon on the phone.

• 21:52Speaker 02

  Hello?

• 21:53Speaker 01

  Hello, this is Brandon.

• 21:58Speaker 02

  Hello?

• 21:58Speaker 01

  Hello, this is Brandon. Can you hear me?

• 22:01Speaker 02

  Yes, sir.

• 22:02Speaker 01

  Brandon, what's going on, man?

• 22:05Speaker 02

  What's going on, dawg?

• 22:07Speaker 01

  What's up with you, man? Where you calling from?

• 22:10Speaker 02

  Charlotte, North Carolina.

• 22:12Speaker 01

  Oh, okay. All right. I heard the twang in there.

• 22:14Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, what's up, Brandon?

• 22:15Speaker 01

  A little bit in there.

• 22:16Speaker 02

  What's going on, Andy? How you doing?

• 22:19Andy Frisella?

  I'm doing good, brother. How you doing?

• 22:22Speaker 02

  Can I complain? I'm on my way back from Knoxville.

• 22:26Andy Frisella?

  From Knoxville?

• 22:28Speaker 02

  Yes, sir.

• 22:28Andy Frisella?

  Oh, man, that's beautiful country out there, man.

• 22:31Speaker 02

  It is.

• 22:32Andy Frisella?

  What are you, what are you doing?

• 22:35Speaker 02

  I drive trucks for a living.

• 22:37Andy Frisella?

  All right, cool.

• 22:38Speaker 01

  Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that. All right, Brandon, so what we got, man? How can we, uh, how can we help?

• 22:45Speaker 02

  So my question to you guys is, is that I am, well, to give you a little history, I'm 24 years old. I have a young family of three. I have a three-year-old, a fiance, and I have another son on the way due in January. Um, I'm a truck driver. I'm in the military as well. I'm in the Air Force Reserve. Um, basically, my question to you is that I'm stuck in like between a rock and a hard place right now to where I feel like I've accomplished building the foundation for my family and I'm trying to find a direction on where to build upwards from. And I'm always asking my family members like,

• 23:28Speaker 02

  "Hey, what should I be doing? Should I be doing this? Should I be doing that?" Like, well, they're like, "Well, Brandon is 24. Just relax, you know, enjoy what you've done." I'm like, "No, but it's not for me. It's like I'm itching for something else. It's like I'm trying to find another purpose to fulfill, to feel fulfilling. Because yes, I I'm grateful for my accomplishments, but I feel like there's something else that I should be doing and I can't figure it out.

• 23:56Andy Frisella?

  All right. So let me ask you this. Are

• 23:59Speaker 02

  Yes, sir.

• 24:01Andy Frisella?

  What do you, you're talking about your job, correct?

• 24:06Speaker 02

  Not necessarily my job, because I want to say my goal is to end up buying my own rigs and owning them. But, you know, that's, you know, I've been saving up for a while, been driving for like three years now. So, you know, that's neither here or there. But I'm trying to figure out what other steps can I take towards that. And there's something else that I should be doing, there's something I can't be doing. Like, I'm, I'm, I'm trying to figure out which, which direction to go or if I should just be like, "Well, I've done everything I I can do right now. I'm gonna just sit." But I'm like, "No, but I can't do that."

• 24:46Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. So let me, let me, okay, first of all, for 24 years old, bro, you're doing really good. Okay. And you, you should feel definitely good that you, you, you're moving the right direction. Um, you know, your, your family's growing. You feel a sense of deep obligation to provide and set a foundation for them. And you have a goal past the point of where you're trying to go. Now, here's where I would, this is what I would tell you, dude. Um,

• 25:20Andy Frisella?

  Owning a truck is, that's a goal, right? But like, bro, you're 24, man. You could own a thousand trucks. You know what I'm saying? So my encouragement towards you is to realize that whatever limits that you have in your brain, those are other people's limits. Those are people's limits that you've grown up around. Those are people's limits that, you know, you've, you've had installed into you, whether through school or the military or people that you respect. And that's not a bad thing, but you just have to recognize that your life is your life, Brandon, and you already have something that most people your age do not have, which is self-awareness of what's going on.

• 26:05Andy Frisella?

  And while a lot of people are gonna look at what you're doing and they're gonna say, "Brandon, you're doing great, bro. Just chill. Just relax. Let it happen. Let it happen." That's how you end up doing the same thing you're doing now when you're 34 and then you're 44, and now you're fucking miserable with that. So you having your mind in the place that it is, is a very good place to have it. Because you're, what I'm hearing from Brandon is, "I'm hungry. I wanna move. I wanna be fulfilled. I wanna make sure I'm putting my time into something that's gonna be worthy of that investment." And that is a powerful mentality to have when you're young,

• 26:47Andy Frisella?

  because most people don't get that until it's too late. They go, they will, they will listen to your friends right now, Brandon, and they will say, "All right, cool. I'm doing good." And then at 34, they'll be in the same spot and their friends will be saying the same thing. "Brandon, what are you bitching about, dude? You're doing good. You're doing great. This is, this is okay." And you're not happy, okay? And then at 44, you know, you finally wake up and you say, "Man, I've been living to their standards and I want this." But now you've wasted all this time. So the good news is, is that you are not gonna have to waste all this time. You're already on top of it. And to your friends and families who are telling you, you know, "Hey, man, just relax." Dude, look, that's their limits. That's their...

• 27:30Andy Frisella?

  Their life, that's what they want. That's not what's gonna make you fulfilled, or you wouldn't even be asking the question. So, what do I think you should do? I think you should continue to do what you're doing. I think you should learn as much as you can about your profession. I think you should figure out a business plan of how you're going to have ten trucks by the age of thirty, not one truck. And I think you need to start taking action against that. Because dude, I'm telling you, bro, like, when I was twenty-four years old, I was four or five years into my business. I had, I still only had one retail store. And if someone had came to me and said, "Bro, you're thinking too fucking small."

• 28:13Andy Frisella?

  That would have benefited me a lot, because it took me another six years to really get shit going. Because I thought that I was winning. I thought, you know, "Hey, man, I'm doing good. Most people don't have this business." But the truth of the matter was, I wasn't fulfilled. It wasn't big enough. It didn't require all my attention. I didn't have to pour myself into it the way that I, you know, that I do now, and I needed that project to be fulfilled. So, you know, I would encourage you to think about that, Brandon. I would say, "How are you gonna own ten trucks by the time you're thirty? And how are you going to a thousand by the time you're forty?" That's what I would like to see from Brandon. Because it's not going away, bro, and, you know, your expertise

• 28:59Andy Frisella?

  in logistics and trucking, you know, let's say you, maybe five years, maybe it's all automated trucks. But you have such good relationships with the companies and the logistics and all these things, that you're able to create an amazing logistics company off of that. So, you know, bro, a lot of times when people feel unfulfilled, it's really just because they're, they don't have something that's big enough that requires all of their skillset. I was just telling my, my friends here, my buddies, in the podcast studio yesterday. This is a, this is a parallel story, but you'll understand what I'm saying. I was not a very good student. I tested very high on standardized tests.

• 29:42Andy Frisella?

  The SAT, the ACT, I would, I would test out of the fucking room on those. But my grade point average was, you know, a 2.0. And I was ranked at one of the top academic high schools in the whole country, almost last. I was like in the top, I was in the bottom 10 in my class. And when I went to college, I got, because I tested so high, I got into some nice colleges. And I went to St. Louis University for my first semester. And in my first semester, I ended up finding my way into a level four political science class. And dude, it was so, so hard. But at the end of the semester, I got the highest grade in the class.

• 30:26Andy Frisella?

  Everybody else got Cs and Bs. I got an A plus. And the reason I did was because it was so hard. It required all of my attention, all of my interest. And I felt very proud of that. And that was the first time in school that I ever felt like, yeah, I did something here. This mattered. And it took me until, you know, that funny enough, that was almost the end of my college career. But, but the point is, is that dude, if we don't test ourselves and we don't push ourselves and we don't hold ourselves into account to be great.

• 31:01Andy Frisella?

  We're going to feel like we left it on the table, bro. And that's the last thing you want. You know what I'm saying?

• 31:06Speaker 02

  Correct. A hundred percent. So see, that's why I joined the military to begin with. Cause I joined the military right out of high school. Then the whole COVID thing happened and then I ended up getting put out of the military because of the whole mandate stuff. Three years down the line, when my son turned, he's turning four this year. I ended up going back in because of him. I'm like, well, I owe it to him, but also I didn't feel fulfilled in my military service. Also because I feel like I left stuff on the table there as well. So that's why I eventually ended up joining the military again.

• 31:39Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. Well, look, bro, here's the thing. Anything we do in life, if we don't give it our all, it's never gonna fulfill us. No matter, like, bro, even if you, like, if you're on a fucking sports team, and your sports team wins the national championship, uh, and you, and you didn't try as hard as you could have, you're gonna always feel like that trophy doesn't really belong to you, you know, and

• 32:05Speaker 02

  Right.

• 32:06Andy Frisella?

  and that's a very important point of our life. Like, and that can go even into, and even into CEOs and founders and operators of companies. Like, there becomes a point where, you know,

• 32:19Andy Frisella?

  when you found a company, if you're doing it right, they don't really need you. And when the company's performing really well, but they don't need you, that creates an empty feeling, even though you're, you're, you're checking all the boxes. The score is the right score. You're making the right money. Things are going well, but because you're not putting it in, you end up feeling depressed and unfulfilled. And dude, honestly, this is why a lot, we hear these, you know, very successful people end up dealing with very dark, dark issues. Because the way the game has been presented to them is work hard, automate the business, step away, let it print money.

• 33:01Andy Frisella?

  And then these people go get on their boat, and they're fucking miserable, bro, because the game isn't about what you get. It's what you give. It's what you're giving. It's what you contribute. It's what you put in. And when you're not putting it all in, bro, you're never gonna feel fulfilled.

• 33:19Speaker 02

  You're right.

• 33:20Andy Frisella?

  I know, brother.

• 33:26Andy Frisella?

  So, look, man, you, what, my, long story short, one sentence answer. You gotta, you gotta expand your goals, bro. Bigger vision for you. You weren't meant to have just one motherfucking truck, bro. I can hear it in your voice. Okay? You were meant to do something that is, that is much bigger than that. And you have a lot of life and a lot of skill and a lot of hunger and a lot of love inside of you, bro. I can hear it. And, and you gotta put that into something, um, you know, your career, your family, a hundred percent, dude, and you're gonna, you're, that feeling you're feeling, all that is, is your, your conscious, uh,

• 34:06Andy Frisella?

  It's probably a little bit of God too telling you, hey, Brandon, this ain't it, bro. You're meant for bigger shit.

• 34:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, because I've gotten, because even with the company I drive for now, it's like, I've already been here, what, maybe like a year and a half now? And I'm already, I'm doing more than the people that's been here longer than me. I started at the bottom doing night shift driving, switched to days, maybe a year, six months being into the company. Now I have the people, the people that have been in the company longer than me envying me, oh, how he did this first, or how did he do this, going to the managers complaining.

• 34:44Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, well.

• 34:44Speaker 02

  And all I hear is, you know?

• 34:46Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, well, I mean, it sucks to suck.

• 34:50Speaker 02

  It does.

• 34:50Andy Frisella?

  They can fucking hate all they want, bro. You're doing the work. They're not doing it.

• 34:53Speaker 01

  Just wait till you got your own truck and company. They're putting in job applications.

• 34:56Andy Frisella?

  That's right. That's right.

• 34:58Speaker 01

  Sounds supposed to be, bro.

• 34:59Andy Frisella?

  Brandon here is a fucking winner, bro. You can fucking hear it.

• 35:02Speaker 01

  Yep. I love it, dude. I love it. Brandon, we appreciate your call, man. Hope that helps.

• 35:08Speaker 02

  I appreciate y'all. Thank y'all so much for what y'all do. Honestly, y'all have overly, overly helped me with this problem and I appreciate y'all and I listen to y'all every day, every morning in the truck. So y'all get my day started every morning.

• 35:25Andy Frisella?

  We appreciate you, man. Thank you so much, Brandon.

• 35:28Speaker 01

  You gotta text us, text this number and picture that first truck you get, bro. I wanna see it.

• 35:32Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 35:33Speaker 02

  I got y'all.

• 35:34Speaker 01

  All right, man. I'll see you, Brandon.

• 35:36Andy Frisella?

  See you, dude.

• 35:37Speaker 02

  Aight.

• 35:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, I love that, man. And it's so important, bro, because.

• 35:42Andy Frisella?

  Bro, this is why the fuck I do this.

• 35:43Speaker 01

  I love it.

• 35:44Andy Frisella?

  That, that is why the fuck I do this. That is why I do this. People are like, what do you, what do you fucking do all this shit? And that's why.

• 35:51Speaker 01

  Brandon.

• 35:51Andy Frisella?

  That's why. Young man, going out, building something that matters, taking care of his family, setting a fucking example, holding the standard higher, getting his, the, the, his peers are all pissed off. Yeah, they're pissed off because you're doing what they should be doing. I fucking love it.

• 36:09Speaker 01

  Dude, it's like that, that lesson of just thinking bigger is so fucking valuable.

• 36:15Andy Frisella?

  Bro.

• 36:15Speaker 01

  It's hard though, bro. It's hard for people when they don't, if they don't have any examples of what that looks like. Or they don't know, you know, what, what, it's, it's hard.

• 36:25Andy Frisella?

  That's why you have. That's why you have to go out and intentionally get in proximity of successful people and the life that you want. When I had nothing, I would drive up and down the streets of nice neighborhoods and look at houses. When I couldn't afford a fucking Ford truck, brand new, I was going in the fucking Lamborghini dealerships and looking at Lamborghinis with my brother. For years, for years. Okay? You have to intentionally put yourself in situations that allow you to touch, experience, taste that life.

• 37:06Andy Frisella?

  If that means going to dinner once every six months to a really nice place that you really shouldn't be going to dinner to, you should do that. Okay? If that means, you know, paying a hundred bucks or fucking a couple hundred bucks to be in proximity of other motherfuckers that are, that are on your level. Or that you want to be, that's, that's what you should do. You have to be intentional about putting yourself in contact with these things because dude, you're right, bro. Most people never know someone who drives a fucking Rolls Royce. Most, most people don't know someone who's built a real company, like that employs, you know, all these people and shit. Most people don't know.

• 37:50Andy Frisella?

  You know, they don't, they don't, we, bro, we don't know, like.

• 37:53Speaker 01

  Yeah. Seen it online enough.

• 37:55Andy Frisella?

  I was fortunate enough, dude, yes. I was fortunate enough to, to actually know a guy who was fairly young. Who was successful and I mean it ended up not being a very good thing. He, he, he, he ended up with some problems, but I'll just leave it at that. But the point is, is that if you can't see it, it's hard to believe it. It's hard to believe it's possible. So you have to put yourself in the proximity of these things that you want in this life that you're trying to build on a consistent basis. And the most interesting thing that will happen to you when you surround yourself with people that are very successful is that you will realize they're really not any different than you. They're really not.

• 38:38Andy Frisella?

  They're the same and there's no magic and there's no, they don't have these. They, they're just a regular person, bro, who fucking went all in and never fucking stopped, you know?

• 38:52Speaker 01

  And you just haven't started yet.

• 38:53Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 38:54Speaker 01

  That's all it is. I love it, dude. I love it. We got another call. Uh, let's get another call in, man. We got Amy on the phone. Let's give Amy a call.

• 39:04Speaker 03

  This is Amy.

• 39:09Speaker 01

  Amy, hey, how's it going? This is DJ.

• 39:11Speaker 03

  Hi, how are you?

• 39:12Speaker 01

  I'm good. How are you?

• 39:14Speaker 03

  Fabulous. Thank you so much for your time.

• 39:16Andy Frisella?

  So what's up, Amy? How are you?

• 39:18Speaker 03

  Hey, great. How are y'all?

• 39:19Andy Frisella?

  Good. So what can I help you with?

• 39:21Speaker 03

  I want to thank you so much for your time.

• 39:22Andy Frisella?

  Oh, yeah. Obviously. I mean, this is, this is what we do here, so.

• 39:26Speaker 03

  It's amazing. I want to, I did the 75 hard and did the live hard year. It's just been an awesome change of mentality and everything. So first and foremost, thank you.

• 39:37Andy Frisella?

  That's amazing.

• 39:38Speaker 03

  Um, I, so real quick, cause I want to be the best for your listeners as well as your time as well. So I have a small business that I started, um, under 15 employees started four years ago. Um, my question is with two owners, I vaguely remember seeing or hearing something that you had mentioned, but I cannot for the life of me find it. Is it, was it harder on you? Or I think you said it was harder on Chris the first year and it appeared to everybody else that he wasn't doing as much or anything, something similar to that. And my question for that is because it's harder on my spouse to understand, well, why isn't so

• 40:18Speaker 03

  and so doing as much as you, but I'm the face of it. I do all of the like customer service aspect of things. I'm out and about doing all of this stuff. It's a very labor intensive job. I do all of the bookkeeping, the QuickBooks, the taxes, the social media, all of it. And that person, the other person runs the crew portion of it. And so that's what's harder for my spouse to understand is it's going to be heavier on me right now, which I actually love. I don't mind it in the least because I know it's just blood, sweat and tears. But it's, I wanted kind of another person's perspective of what it took to get to that point, if that makes sense.

• 41:02Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, for sure. Um, okay. Before I get into this, let's, let's understand this. There is no perfect way to balance out responsibilities in business or at home in the household. Okay. And just like an effective household, an effective business has to be run as a team. And there should not be these arguments about, well, I do more, I do this, and this is harder, or this and that and this. Look, we just do what the fuck we need to do. And that's what's required to have a good home. And that's what's required to have a

• 41:46Andy Frisella?

  good business. And in the early days of my business, Chris did everything. Okay. I worked with the customers, which we didn't have that many. So Chris did all, basically all the ordering, all the, all the backend, all the bookkeeping, all, all of those things. And

• 42:06Andy Frisella?

  You know, I dealt with the customers, but we didn't have any. So it was like I wasn't doing anything. And as the business grew, you know, my lift became a lot heavier and his lift was not as seen, right? And so people would see, you know, a different dynamic. They would, they would see like, well, Andy seems like he's doing all this shit. But, you know, they don't see the backside.

• 42:31Speaker 03

  I, that is exactly how I feel.

• 42:33Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, dude. And that's, that's just people who don't understand how a business is supposed to operate. Really understanding because the truth of the matter is, is an effective, winning company. They don't do the tit for tat, you know, everything's equal. They do the, hey, man, we're going to win. Whatever needs to be done, we're going to do it. Here's the shit that you need to do. Here's the shit that I need to do. They're both important. Let's go take care of them. And that

• 43:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:04Andy Frisella?

  looks different in each person's role. You know, today we have, Sal has his role. I have my role. Chris has his role. Jason has his role. We all do different things that if we didn't do those things, none of the machine would work. So there has to be a trust and a understanding that we are all doing our jobs. And nobody's job is necessarily more important than anybody else's because without one of them, none of them matter.

• 43:36Speaker 03

  So exactly. That's how I feel is without that person, I wouldn't be successful.

• 43:40Andy Frisella?

  Correct.

• 43:41Speaker 03

  It just appears that it's heavier on me right now and I'm okay with that.

• 43:45Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 43:45Speaker 03

  Cause I'm the face of it.

• 43:47Andy Frisella?

  Well, look, that's, if you're the face of it, it's always going to appear that way. Um, and here's the bad news. You're going to get the credit, but you're also going to get the bad shit too. You know, like

• 43:57Speaker 03

  Which I'm okay with.

• 44:00Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, it's, but dude, that's just part of the deal, man. And people who, people who aren't in.

• 44:09Andy Frisella?

  Every single winning business that I've ever been in contact with operates the way I just said. Every single business that I see fail, they do what, they do what people do. You did this, you did that, you spent $4,000 more on your suits than I did on my televisions. Like, they argue, yeah, bro, it's stupid shit. And the reality of, of, of winning is that everybody has to handle their shit and none of it's more important and it all, it's all required. And to me, in, in my companies, I mean, the, the person who packs the box in the back of the warehouses is equally as important as the decisions that are made at the very top.

• 44:53Andy Frisella?

  We, because, because if they don't pack the boxes, our decisions don't fucking matter. So everybody's doing their role. And, um, and if you do that in a humble way, without ego, you end up with a functional culture and organization. I don't, I don't think that.

• 45:19Andy Frisella?

  I think it's very hard for people who are not in an organization or on a team that operates that way to really understand that. What, what is your?

• 45:28Speaker 03

  That's how I feel with my husband. Like, he's super supportive, super loves, like, I mean, just all in, but he struggles with why, why is it all on you? Why are you doing, and I'm like, you don't even see the day to day stuff. So why are you nitpicking? Like, it's not, well, it's hard for him to wrap his head around. I'm like, you're not in it every day. I am, it's different, so.

• 45:49Andy Frisella?

  Here's the conversation. Hey, look, I know you're trying to, I know you're looking out for me and I know that you care and you're making sure I don't get taken advantage of, but here's the reality. It takes everybody here to make this work and you may see it as I'm doing all the work, but I promise you I'm not because this and this and this still has to happen and these things are happening. And, um, you know, for you, you have to understand that's coming from a place of him trying to make sure that you're not getting screwed over, uh, which, you know, I think any good husband has that protective instinct inside of them to make sure that.

• 46:28Andy Frisella?

  Their wife isn't being fucked with, you know, so I don't think it's a bad thing that he thinks that way. I think it's just.

• 46:34Speaker 03

  Not in the least, and that's why I don't want to sound like.

• 46:36Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 46:37Speaker 03

  He's fantastic. It's just, it's been a hard balance because I'm like, there has to be other people that have experienced them being the face of it to start. I mean, from the ground up, it wasn't me given anything. It was literally starting it from my like self. So it's heavier on me and I'm okay with that. I love it. Like I freaking love it every day.

• 46:57Andy Frisella?

  Well, it doesn't sound like you have a real problem.

• 47:00Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 47:00Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, it doesn't.

• 47:01Speaker 03

  I needed that validation that it's harder for like it's equal. It's not the same for every person.

• 47:08Andy Frisella?

  No, it's and dude, here's the other thing. You're going to go through phases. Like there'll be two or three year phases where it's harder on one of us than it is the rest. Right? Like.

• 47:18Speaker 03

  Sweet.

• 47:19Andy Frisella?

  That's a normal thing. In the beginning, it was harder on Chris. I would say now it's probably harder on me. Uh, and I think Chris would fucking admit that. You know, um, but I don't fucking care. Like I, I look at it. How I look at it is like, bro, we started this together. We're gonna fucking finish this together. And just because I'm doing more now, doesn't mean that your skills aren't going to become more of it. Like right now, we're working on this new business concept. And there's a whole bunch of shit that he's doing that no one sees. You know what I'm saying? So like.

• 47:50Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 47:51Andy Frisella?

  There's, there's, it's, it's ebbs and flows, man. And how I look at it. How I look at my life in general is I've never been a tit for tat person.

• 48:03Speaker 03

  Ever.

• 48:04Andy Frisella?

  Even when, yeah, no. And even when I go to dinner, dude, like if I go to dinner and you know, people are like, oh, I got it this time. Oh, I got it this time. I got this. Like, I don't like that shit. Like, I just figure like.

• 48:13Speaker 03

  Agree.

• 48:13Andy Frisella?

  I figure like, hey, man, it's gonna all work out in the end. Like it's all.

• 48:17Speaker 03

  Hundred percent.

• 48:17Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, we're, it's all gonna work itself out. And you know, at the, at the phase I'm at now, I mean, even my successful friends, like they don't.

• 48:28Andy Frisella?

  They don't need anything in return for helping me and vice versa. You know, everybody understands that. Okay, you're helping me with this and down the road, I'm sure there'll be a time where, where I have to help you with that. And those things all just even the fuck out over the long haul. And I think that mentality is a shared mentality amongst highly successful people. They don't keep a value or keep score on every little thing. They just understand. It's all gonna even out. It's all gonna even out.

• 49:01Speaker 03

  Awesome. I totally agree with that. And I appreciate that perspective that I'm not like alone thinking this is crazy. I'm like, it doesn't matter.

• 49:08Andy Frisella?

  No, I think you're, I think you have the mindset of someone who, I mean, every single successful person I know shares that mindset. Every, not without exception.

• 49:19Speaker 03

  Awesome. Yeah. So thank you so much. Yeah. So much. It's so relieving to feel like I'm not crazy thinking that it has to be this equal business crap.

• 49:29Andy Frisella?

  No, because the more time you try to spend making it equal is the less time you're effective in, in the game. You know, it doesn't fuck, I don't fuck.

• 49:36Speaker 03

  It just needs to get done.

• 49:37Andy Frisella?

  Dude, I take the fucking trash out here if I see it. If I see the fucking trash bin fill, I fucking take it out. Like.

• 49:43Speaker 03

  Yes, I just did yesterday.

• 49:44Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, it's, it's whatever needs to be done, dude. It's whatever needs to be done.

• 49:48Speaker 03

  Awesome. Thank you so much for your time and would absolutely love you to run for president. So thank you so much. I've learned so much and it's just inspirational to listen to you every day and cheer you on and spread your, spread the joy and the knowledge of being good and helping others.

• 50:09Andy Frisella?

  Domestic extremism. That's right.

• 50:13Speaker 03

  I am an all in type of person, so I like that type of mentality.

• 50:18Andy Frisella?

  All right. Well, listen, you're doing good. Just, uh, you're not crazy. You see it the right way. It's, it's reflective of, of my experience of successful people. So, uh, you know, if there's another way to do it, I don't know it.

• 50:31Speaker 03

  Thank you so much. I super appreciate your time.

• 50:33Andy Frisella?

  You're welcome. I'll see you.

• 50:35Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 50:37Speaker 01

  I love that. I've actually, I've heard you describe like with you and Chris before. It's like yin and yang.

• 50:43Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 50:43Speaker 01

  You know what I'm saying? Like it's yin and yang.

• 50:45Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 50:45Speaker 01

  He like, I'm doing the shit that he don't want to do. He's doing the shit that I don't want to do.

• 50:51Andy Frisella?

  I, I think that's, I think that's a requirement, man. You know, and.

• 50:57Andy Frisella?

  It's

• 50:59Andy Frisella?

  It's, I could see why it's hard, bro, because a lot of people are those scorekeeper type people, you know? And

• 51:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, they are.

• 51:07Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, bro, and it's not a healthy way to have your home, it's not a healthy way to have your friendship, it's not a healthy way to run your business. You should be around people and surrounded by people that

• 51:21Andy Frisella?

  support you and

• 51:24Andy Frisella?

  and if it's a fucking tit for tat and a scorekeeping thing, then how genuine is the relationship really? You know what I mean?

• 51:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, not at all, man. Not at all, bro. I love it, bro. That was some fire, man. Guys, that was three.

• 51:38Andy Frisella?

  Yep. Listen, guys, let's get out here, let's make it a good week. Uh, remember, personal excellence is the ultimate rebellion. You winning creates a situation that they cannot control, okay? You are supposed to become fit, you are supposed to become wealthy, you are supposed to be healthy, you are supposed to be unified, you are supposed to be a good person, and every single thing they do is trying to break that down. And when you recognize it, you start to understand the urgency of the matter. It is a duty, it is an obligation, and, uh, you guys need to get out there this week and make that happen, alright? So don't be a hoe.

• 52:17Speaker 01

  Shut the show.