1009 Pursuing Happiness w/Ravi Patel

“Principles only serve you if they’re serving you. And more often than not we’re principled at our own expense.”Actor and documentarian Ravi Patel returns to the School of Greatness for a profound, and hilarious, conversation on his worldwide quest for clarity when it comes to the core truths of life and what really makes people happy. Lewis and Ravi discuss everything from the dangers of celebrity in 2020 America to how his love life has changed since "Meet the Patels" and why he thinks all men should be in therapy. Check out "Ravi Patel’s Pursuit of Happiness" on HBO Max. Ravi's first interview on the School of Greatness. Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  This is episode number 1009 with Ravi Patel.

• 0:07Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:31Lewis Howes?

  James Dean once said, "Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today." And writer Joseph Addison said, "Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." My guest today is my friend, Ravi Patel, who is on a mission to uncover the secrets to being happy. You probably know Ravi Patel from the hit documentary, Meet the Patels. And now he's back with a new series on HBO Max called, "Ravi Patel's Pursuit of Happiness." And in each episode, Ravi and a friend or family member traveled to different parts

• 1:10Lewis Howes?

  of the world, seeking answers to life's universal questions like, "Is there a right way to parent your children?" Or, "What's an ideal work-life balance?" I've actually had the joy of becoming friends with Ravi over the past few years, and I'll tell you that there is no one more curious or more loving. His first interview on the School of Greatness was simply awesome, and I think this one is even better. And in this episode, we discuss why Ravi is now focusing less on big achievements in his career and more on daily processes, what he's learned from fatherhood, and how he's fought to improve his relationship with his wife, Ravi's complicated relationship with fame that he has, why therapy is essential, especially for men, and so

• 1:55Lewis Howes?

  much more. If you're enjoying this at any moment, make sure to share it with someone who you think would be inspired to hear it as well. And a quick reminder to subscribe to the School of Greatness over on Apple Podcasts, as well as giving us a rating and a review. And again, let me know what you think about it while you're listening. Okay, after this quick message, the one and only, Ravi Patel.

• 2:18Speaker 01

  So the premise of the show, in case you can't tell, is every episode I travel with someone in my life and we have some big life question and that's what takes us into an international destination and everywhere we went has some sort of a interesting thing that they're doing culturally that advances that conversation. Yeah. And the way I figured out which things to do was I prioritize the questions that are most urgent in my actual life. So that way, look, I've been in so many failed TV shows that- How many shows have you done that I've actually had a one episode on TV? Not many. I've been on one episode of a ton of shows. Well, how many ones that you were actually- Where I was like a regular on? A regular on. I would, I don't know, maybe three or four, not many, and I've never gotten past one season. Really?

• 3:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm, I'm poisoned. I, I've had, I mean, I've done like 15 pilots. Isn't that crazy, man? Which is insane, yeah. Where you're like, this is the one, like, we're gonna make it. Well, it's that, it is the lottery ticket in entertainment, like when you get, and that next step is just insane money, great lifestyle. That's like the third season where you're really having a great lifestyle and good money. Yeah. Season one- Even in the first season, you're making tons of money. Really? Tons. If it's on a big network and- Yeah, there are big networks and so I know I'm really lucky to have gotten that far, but I was stalled out there and I will say it taught me like one of my most important life lessons, which is, you know, I imagine a lot of your listeners, like you're probably

• 3:43Speaker 01

  like, the fun of achievement for a lot of us is in reaching the top of the mountain. And I feel like at this, now that I'm older, and I remember when I was 40, I woke up and I kind of realized, oh, you know, I've had such a good life, I've done so many cool things and I've become used to people complimenting me on my achievements, but there I was that day when I turned 40 and I remember I was like looking in the mirror, like it was like a lame TV show and I had this moment of like, wait, but I don't even know that I remember everything that happened, nor did I necessarily enjoy it. And I was tired. Wow. And I think, you know, the, the kind of turning point for me there was that I wanted

• 4:28Speaker 01

  to start figuring out how to enjoy every day more and-

• 4:33Speaker 01

  The hustle of trying to climb these tall mountains, difficult things, that's what we feed off of, right? We get that dopamine, the adrenaline, our backs against the wall. Can we do this thing? Right? But, and what you kind of primally tell yourself is in order to get to the top of a mountain, you have to be myopically obsessed with getting to the top of that mountain at this, at the expense of your relationships, your health, your day. It's all forward looking though. And in the meantime, your life passes by. So now, whenever I'm trying to decide what to do, I think more about, okay, there may or may not be a top to this mountain. From what I'm hearing, there's actually never a top to the mountain.

• 5:16Lewis Howes?

  Right. There's always another mountain.

• 5:17Speaker 01

  There's, yeah, or you get to the top and there's nothing there, which is something that Prince said.

• 5:21Lewis Howes?

  You're empty.

• 5:22Speaker 01

  Yeah. I'm trying to enjoy the day, enjoy the process. And so even when the show, you know, they said, CNN said to me, we want to do a show with you. The only thing we know for sure is we wanted to include travel, but outside of that, do whatever is authentic to you. First off, I'm not an expert in anything. So I couldn't do a show on food or, you know, anything along the lines of the school of greatness. I'm not an expert in this stuff. But what I am is genuinely curious and I love love. And on a practical level, because I know shows go away so easily, I wanted to make a show that, once it gets canceled, Olive still said it was

• 6:01Lewis Howes?

  You had fun.

• 6:02Speaker 01

  A life-changing experience.

• 6:03Lewis Howes?

  Exactly. Even if it doesn't work out, or even if it gets canceled.

• 6:06Speaker 01

  Yeah. Which means not traveling alone, being with people I want to be closer to, not further apart, including my wife and kid. So that way they're in the premise of the show. They're with me on these trips.

• 6:14Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, enjoying it.

• 6:15Speaker 01

  That in and of itself makes the show amazing.

• 6:17Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 6:18Speaker 01

  But then on top of that, we're, we're tackling questions together that really matter to us. So Mexico with my parents, we went to one of the hottest retirement spots for expats.

• 6:28Lewis Howes?

  Where was that? Puerto Vallarta?

• 6:29Speaker 01

  Merida.

• 6:31Lewis Howes?

  Merida.

• 6:32Speaker 01

  And that episode is about retirement and aging at a time when I'm on the other side of 40, I'm starting to realize everyone's mortality and, and being a father.

• 6:44Speaker 01

  I actually empathize with my parents in a way that I never have before. Because when you're a father, you obsess over this kid. And you just love the kid so much and you want the kid to love you back. And I realized that my parents have felt that way about me for forty plus years.

• 6:59Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 6:59Speaker 01

  And because of the way society is set up right now, we all live further apart. We're increasingly individualized, a private. We're not dependent on each other at all because we don't need to ride to the airport. We have Uber and I feel like parents today are very much victims of a society that lives much more further apart and much more. And I don't, I don't, I want to pay back.

• 7:25Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, you know what's interesting? I moved out of my house when I was thirteen. I was the youngest of four.

• 7:31Speaker 01

  What?

• 7:32Lewis Howes?

  I moved out when I was thirteen. I was the youngest of four kids, right? My parents were just working really hard day and night to try to make money just to like provide for us.

• 7:42Speaker 01

  Right.

• 7:42Lewis Howes?

  My dad eventually, the money, the work paid off and eventually like right when I hit fourteen, his kind of like twenty years of work paid off and he started to make money. And it wasn't like this struggle anymore. It's like, okay, we can afford some nice things.

• 7:57Speaker 01

  Right.

• 7:58Lewis Howes?

  But those thirteen years was very stressful for me because my parents, my, my siblings were older, they didn't hang out with me, and so I felt very alone. They were older, they had their friends, one was off to college. You know, it's like, I was just this young brat running around trying to get attention from my older siblings.

• 8:12Speaker 01

  Right.

• 8:13Lewis Howes?

  And I didn't really have many friends. My brother went to prison at one point for four and a half years when I was eight. So that time in a small town in Ohio, everyone knows everyone's news.

• 8:23Speaker 01

  How old was your brother?

• 8:24Lewis Howes?

  He was nineteen at the time. So he went to drug, he, he sold LSD to an undercover cop. It's the first offense, went for, sentenced for six to twenty-five years, got out in four and a half years.

• 8:34Speaker 01

  Was it bad LSD? Did the cop not enjoy the trip?

• 8:37Lewis Howes?

  This was just the time of like the war against drugs in the nineties when it was just like crackdown against everything. So anyways, he uh, but he probably didn't enjoy that either. So anyways, I felt very alone. I just felt like you know, I didn't want to be in my home anymore. I didn't want to be in my hometown anymore. I felt disconnected to everything. Cause I felt like alone. I was just like, get me out of here. Cause I could see myself doing more and more bad things. I was cheating on all my homework and tests at school. I got suspended at one point for a few days. I started, I started stealing like candy bars and cigarettes or whatever, just to like for the thrill of something. Those are good things to have. Exactly. And I remember just being like, I don't want to go down this path that my brother went down. You had all these thoughts at the age of thirteen?

• 9:22Lewis Howes?

  I was alone the whole time. So I had a lot of like reflection time, a lot of beat up, like I'm not good enough. And then a lot of you're gonna go make something yourself. It was like this Yeah. contrast. Yeah. And for whatever reason, I went to this summer camp in Missouri for many years, growing up with my dad was sending me to was a camp for Christian scientists. And I went there this one year when I was going into uh, seventh grade, going into eighth grade that summer. And I met these kids who went to this school for Christian scientists in St. Louis, Missouri, when I was out in this camp. For whatever reason, I was just like, I really want to be around these kids because they're very positive. They were super positive and they were welcoming. And I hadn't experienced any kids like that growing up.

• 10:05Lewis Howes?

  At least to my memory. I'm sure there were some, but I didn't really feel like I had close friends. Right, yeah. And I was like, I want to go be around these kids. So I begged my parents when I got back from the summer camp. I said, please send me to this school. It was a private boarding school. And I'm probably the only kid that begged their parents, send them away to a school. Right. But I was just like, I need to get out of here. And they, they were reluctant, but all summer I nagged them. I said, I don't want to be here. I want to go to the school. Here's why I'm going to do whatever it takes. And I went there when I was 13 and I lived in a dorm for the next four years. And I lived with these, so I've been away from my family and my parents since 13.

• 10:39Speaker 01

  Was that a turning point for you when you went to that school?

• 10:41Lewis Howes?

  It was the greatest turning point in my life because I don't think I'd be where I'm at today without that experience. I mean, it was challenging. It was a strict school. We had a dress code. We had to wake up at 6:15 a.m.

• 10:52Speaker 01

  Right.

• 10:53Lewis Howes?

  You know, clean your room, like two hour study hall mandatory, all this stuff like it was hard.

• 10:57Speaker 01

  Was it the attention and the structure or do you think it was also the community?

• 11:01Lewis Howes?

  It was the structure. It was the, um, the coaches that I had in all sports that really, they could see my anger.

• 11:08Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 11:08Lewis Howes?

  And they like just knew how to guide me.

• 11:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:11Lewis Howes?

  They knew how to like care, be there for me. They were just great mentors.

• 11:14Speaker 01

  You got a family at this place.

• 11:15Lewis Howes?

  I got, and there's a hundred other guys that you lived with in the dorm. So it's like, we're playing sports, we're hanging out, we're having fun.

• 11:21Speaker 01

  That sounds so fun, dude.

• 11:22Lewis Howes?

  It was amazing. It was amazing. And the.

• 11:25Speaker 01

  I don't remember you going into this detail in the documentary, which by the way, I loved.

• 11:29Lewis Howes?

  Thank you. Appreciate it.

• 11:29Speaker 01

  So good. I'm so proud of you, buddy.

• 11:31Lewis Howes?

  We're still trying to figure out how to get that out there, but, um, yeah, so I, um, I can't remember why I was saying this, but I, I, I left when I was.

• 11:39Speaker 01

  We were talking about distance from parents.

• 11:41Lewis Howes?

  Here's what I'm saying. I just went to Mexico recently and visited my girlfriend. And I had a, a reminder of different cultures in the world, which is going to bring back to your show and what you've done. Because we have distanced ourselves in American culture to like leave home at certain times and kind of like, like you said, be far away from our family.

• 12:02Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 12:02Lewis Howes?

  When I went to Mexico, her, she's got, um, three younger sisters and everyone lives at home until they get married. Or, and it's like common for guys who are 30, 35 to live with their parents still.

• 12:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:14Lewis Howes?

  In Mexico.

• 12:15Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 12:15Lewis Howes?

  At least in certain places in Mexico.

• 12:17Speaker 01

  No, we showed that. We showed that in the first episode of my show.

• 12:19Lewis Howes?

  Maybe not like in Mexico City or like a big city, but in the countryside like, and I was like, wait a minute, your uncle didn't leave the house until you were 35?

• 12:27Speaker 01

  Families live together and there's no, they don't send people to nursing homes.

• 12:30Lewis Howes?

  He was like 40, I think, when he left. I go, really? That was like, yeah. And that, and they all, the grandmother is very sick right now.

• 12:35Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 12:35Lewis Howes?

  And they trade like the, the, her mom and her uncle, they trade every week. They go and spend time with their, their grandmother.

• 12:42Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 12:42Lewis Howes?

  And they're all there close with her constantly. So everyone lives together. Everyone supports each other.

• 12:47Speaker 01

  It's beautiful.

• 12:48Lewis Howes?

  And I was like, this is just a different culture that I was completely opposite with, but I could see myself appreciating, like if I had two young daughters. Maybe I'd want them to stay with me until they, you know, until they got married or something. I don't know.

• 12:59Speaker 01

  Well, this is a part of American culture that really bothers me because even in Indian culture, it's very similar to that where, you know, families are expected to be together forever and take care of each other.

• 13:08Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 13:09Speaker 01

  And, uh, you know, Americans will put their parents in nursing homes and talk to them once a year and it's just people in fam- in American families, this is a generalization because it's not all American families by any means, but it feels like there's a lot of American families in which, you know, resentment gets fostered, people, if they don't like each other, they don't hang out with each other. There's a lot of like, you're always having to prove why you should still give each other attention, uh, which I think is so toxic. I think it's unhealthy because one thing that I know firsthand.

• 13:42Lewis Howes?

  What do they do in Indian cultures if they disagree with someone in the family or they resent them?

• 13:47Speaker 01

  They fight, but they stick together. And, and, and a beautiful thing that happens when you fight and you stick together, you know, making Meet the Patel's documentary I made with my sister, we, you know, we made that together for five or six years. I definitely liked her, but I don't know. I mean, I loved her, but I'm not sure I liked her. Let me put it that way. I, I, I found her kind of annoying, like this annoying, we were just very different and we'd also never really both willingly wanted to be in like an intimate sibling relationship and, and we, but we made this movie together because we love each other. We believe in the idea of siblings.

• 14:21Lewis Howes?

  The vision.

• 14:22Speaker 01

  Being supportive and be together. That's the, that's the culture, you know, from which we come. And when we made that movie, we fought so much, so much to the point where we made each other cry one day.

• 14:31Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 14:31Speaker 01

  We sent each other to therapy and I see that as one of the greatest moments in my life in so many ways. Um, but specifically as it relates to my sister, because we couldn't fire each other, because that wasn't even a possibility in our culture. Our only choice was to figure out a way to see each other and love each other more. And as a result, we're now best friends.

• 14:52Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 14:53Speaker 01

  We got through this fighting period and when you're fighting with someone you love, what you see are all the things that they're doing wrong to you, all the things about them that annoy you, um, tons of resentment and vitriol. And when you start to love each other, and this is something I've applied to all my relationships since then. True love is actually in those moments, finding a way to not be principled. Cause I think being principled is actually.

• 15:23Lewis Howes?

  Like being right? Or what do you mean by being principled?

• 15:25Speaker 01

  Principled is this idea.

• 15:26Lewis Howes?

  I'm doing this out of principle because you did this.

• 15:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. A sense of ju- of justice for yourself is something that

• 15:34Lewis Howes?

  That's so hard.

• 15:35Speaker 01

  As Americans, we're taught that we need to have.

• 15:36Lewis Howes?

  So hard, isn't it?

• 15:37Speaker 01

  It's so hard. It's your ego and you're also trying to, you're like in your mind logically, everything I'm saying makes sense and everything you're saying is.

• 15:44Lewis Howes?

  It's irrational.

• 15:45Speaker 01

  It doesn't make sense, yeah. But actually, principles only serve you if they're serving you. And more often than not, we're principled at our own expense. What you need to do when you love someone is throw out principles. Throw it out.

• 16:01Lewis Howes?

  How do you do that?

• 16:02Speaker 01

  It's hard. You exercise it, but it's hard.

• 16:04Lewis Howes?

  So how do you, how do you give, how do you throw out principles? If someone is breaking, is crossing boundaries, is hurting you, is saying hurtful things, is not holding to their word, whatever it is, how do you just say, okay, keep doing this to me and allow it to happen to me?

• 16:18Speaker 01

  Yeah. Okay. So you're in a relationship.

• 16:19Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 16:20Speaker 01

  So you, you understand this, right?

• 16:22Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 16:23Speaker 01

  Anyone who's in a relationship, okay, so.

• 16:26Lewis Howes?

  In your marriage, how do you do this?

• 16:27Speaker 01

  Okay. So when my wife and I used to fight.

• 16:29Lewis Howes?

  Used to? Is this, you don't do this anymore?

• 16:30Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no. We still, we had a fight last week that was an hour long and it was one of those where at the end of it, I'm like, I still don't know what we're talking about. I don't even know what we just discussed. No idea. I'll give you an example though. In all of these fights, every single fight is ended the same way. Or at least resolved in the same way, which is

• 16:49Speaker 01

  me saying sorry.

• 16:53Speaker 01

  Even if I don't believe it.

• 16:54Lewis Howes?

  You're not wrong.

• 16:55Speaker 01

  Okay. And she says sorry, even if she doesn't believe it. And we both, in that moment, when our walls go down, we actually focus more on trying to love each other and reconcile than we do on being right or winning. And what I've learned is.

• 17:12Speaker 01

  You know, look, and I don't do this perfectly every time, but with my wife now, we used to fight and it would be trying to prove to the other person. I'm right, you're wrong. I'm right, you're wrong. Why did you do this to me? Give me some sense of justice and understanding. You know, men, we always, we always try to say that we're speaking logically and they're speaking emotionally. That's like one thing that we all do. Yes. When they're both actually equally fucked up. Yeah. And what I've noticed is when I start, when I start, so when that fight's about to happen, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Before it's even here, you start to feel something. You start to feel something really subtle in your gut. Before you even, there's anything here or here, you start to feel something in your gut where it's like, oh, I think, uh, it's like those eight seconds before you're about to vomit where it's just like a very, you're so familiar where you're like,

• 17:57Speaker 01

  oh, it's about to go down. Okay. So whenever that feeling comes, I immediately clock it. And I, and the mantra I try to repeat to myself is create a safe space. Be on her side. Wow. Love her. Create a safe space. That's crazy. Be on her side. What if she's completely irrational and wrong? But if you're on her side, which you are. Uh huh. If you really love someone, you're on their side. Yeah. Okay. It takes you to say, to put yourself in their point of view, embracing all the argumentation that they're giving you, even if you, Louis, do not agree with it. Right. You have to be the other person.

• 18:42Speaker 01

  A whole nother level. And you also have to practice being graceful. Practicing being graceful is something that I work on constantly. It's hard for me. I can be reactive. I can be sensitive and being graceful while also trying to inhabit her point of view and emotions is something that I've noticed. I can fake it when I start because I can't get rid of that initial anger. I know, I just, it's just there. I love you. But yeah, but I actually, what I do is I kind of fake it. But a funny thing happens and I'm always surprised by it. Every single time I'm surprised by it. By doing it, I actually eventually stopped faking it and I actually do start to understand her point of view.

• 19:25Speaker 01

  Because another thing happens by doing that, like by letting her know that I'm trying really hard to understand her point of view and that I'm thinking about her feelings and not mine. She ends up understanding my feelings as well. And we end up having a conversation where all that other shit, which never helps.

• 19:44Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 19:45Speaker 01

  Isn't there.

• 19:45Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 19:46Speaker 01

  It's a pretty dope thing.

• 19:47Lewis Howes?

  It's interesting. I have a practice that I try with this where whenever I get emotional or triggered, whether it's in a relationship or whatever.

• 19:55Speaker 01

  Right.

• 19:56Lewis Howes?

  I've gotten a lot better to the point of saying, I do this practice where I take my ego out of my chest and I put it over here on the side.

• 20:04Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 20:04Lewis Howes?

  And I allow the interaction to happen between that person and my ego. And I just kind of look and observe it. So imagine like my ego is a ball in my chest and I take it out and I put it over here, right? For my mind or whatever.

• 20:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:17Lewis Howes?

  Put it here and now the person's attacking that ego as opposed to me.

• 20:21Speaker 01

  Right.

• 20:22Lewis Howes?

  So I just try to look at it and observe it from over here and say, okay, they're not attacking me. They're attacking this. It's like, just be calm and relax.

• 20:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:29Lewis Howes?

  And I'm usually pretty good until it like keeps getting triggered over and over again. It's like trying to figure out how to.

• 20:35Speaker 01

  I love that.

• 20:36Lewis Howes?

  Fully take that out of me because I feel like the ego serves us in a lot of ways, but it also doesn't serve us in those times when we react and we're negative and we're hurtful. Say things we don't want to say, whatever it may be.

• 20:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:47Lewis Howes?

  So I try to take it out of me and observe the conversation like from the side, from above. And, and do what you do as well, which is like, okay, let me just listen and let them share and talk and.

• 21:00Speaker 01

  We're both basically advocating for um some version of Dr. Manhattan and Watchmen, where we have to be multiple people at the same time.

• 21:08Lewis Howes?

  Exactly. It's crazy, man. It's crazy. Well, this documentary you did was huge for you five years ago. I remember when it came out on Netflix, seeing it as like featured on Netflix.

• 21:17Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 21:17Lewis Howes?

  Kind of before they were promoting documentaries. Now documentaries are massive on Netflix.

• 21:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:22Lewis Howes?

  And that, would you say that kind of puts you bigger on the map in terms of like the, I mean, how many people watched that? It was.

• 21:29Speaker 01

  I don't know the numbers, but you know, when it came out, we were trending next to Making a Murderer for like two or three weeks, which is insane. Yeah. It was, it was. An insane kind of ground swell that came out of nowhere. And yeah, it changed my life. I mean, it changed my relationship with my sister. My family and I, we've experienced that documentary to this day. We still experience it together. In that moment, we're touring and we're going to like festivals and press and I mean, what a unique experience as a family that most people never get to experience. But then we still experience it today. People, my parents are really the stars of that thing. And people come up to them in airports like as if they know them and they love them. And my parents are so good at being celebrities because they're just, they're everyone's parents.

• 22:10Speaker 01

  Though my dad's Facebook status is actor now. They're both very much in. They're hilarious. But um, you know, my whole family has gotten so close as a result of that. It also really taught me what work can mean. And, and look, first of all, anyone who's able to find purpose in work, I think you're already in the top 99th percentile. If you're able to get any fulfillment out of it whatsoever, you're extremely lucky. You're extremely blessed. That's a privilege. Most people are just trying to make a living and get by and whatever else like. So I recognize that. And, and that movie was the first time that I really got what it meant. It, not to sound cheesy, it taught me what art is, the meaning of art.

• 22:50Speaker 01

  Oh, it's like this thing where you can connect with people, you can learn about yourself. And ever since I made that movie, which was also, yes, a huge moment in my career and took me to another level in a big way. Probably is the reason why I even have this show on HBO Max. I now am chasing that same feeling all the time.

• 23:10Lewis Howes?

  That how do I create this piece of art that what people appreciate and enjoy and impacts people or?

• 23:15Speaker 01

  Well, impacting people is great. That means a lot to me when that happens. But I, I can't really, I can't like control how I impact people. What I know I can control is how honest something is to myself. Whether it brings me closer to the people I love or closer to myself. Those are things that I can seek from project to project. And it's basically, that's my triple bottom line approach to work. You know, like I don't just say yes to anything. I don't do everything that I want to do. And I, I'm one of those people that. I'm genetically opportunistic, like the immigrant roots in me always feels like I need to be doing more and work harder. And I also, I like love doing everything. I get excited

• 23:57Speaker 01

  about literally everything. And so it's actually been really healthy for me because it's allowed me to work towards a more essentialist approach in my work.

• 24:09Lewis Howes?

  Now, from the documentary, I remember, and in the last time I interviewed you, I remember you said that you were excited about being a dad, but you were like scared and excited at the same time. You were like, I think I'm ready for this and I want to see what it's like.

• 24:22Speaker 01

  Was I, I was about to have a kid back then when I was here.

• 24:24Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. How has that been now that you're a father and having a child? And what have you learned about being a dad versus being, you know, single and in the pursuit of like your career?

• 24:36Speaker 01

  So, episode two of Pursuit of Happiness is about parenting. And like I said, I chose each episode based on the things that are most urgent to me. I don't know that there's anything more urgent than this new startup I have in my life. Wife, a kid, and I'm trying to like be this adult who makes all these things great and gives and takes all those things that family require. That episode, we go to Japan, one of the most innovative places in the world, especially in the way they, they parent with my wife, because we're both really obsessed with trying to be good parents, but we're complete opposites, like

• 25:14Speaker 01

  personality wise. She's, you know, very type A. She's, she's read every book on parenting. I'm kind of all over the place and definitely not reading the books. I'm, we're both from different generations. I'm of the generation where you just kind of like try not to kill the kid and you could, you let them be super independent. She's more of the generation where you're very hands on. And that's something that we really want to get right. And in trying to get it right, we butt heads. And so it's a great, I think, episode for anyone who's parents and wants to. Have a conversation about parenting and over parenting and how to raise a kid with grit.

• 25:54Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 25:54Speaker 01

  But I think it's ultimately an episode about marriage and how we fight and how to fight better.

• 25:59Lewis Howes?

  How do you fight better?

• 26:00Speaker 01

  Well, it's first of all, with what we just said, we, you know, that's a big one for me. I couples therapy is a great way to fight better. I'm a big fan of couples therapy. I've probably put 20 dudes in this country in couples therapy. I'm singularly fighting toxic masculinity by getting all my bros in in therapy.

• 26:23Lewis Howes?

  I feel like my brother told me he was like, one of the greatest things you can do in getting in a relationship fresh is start in therapy.

• 26:30Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 26:30Lewis Howes?

  Even when it's great.

• 26:31Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 26:32Lewis Howes?

  Go to therapy when it's like in the honeymoon phase and talk things out just so there's nothing that's resenting anything. You're not holding on anything. You're just talking it out.

• 26:40Speaker 01

  One of my best friends gave me that exact advice and he said, go when it's good. And I did it and it turned out to be such great advice. I the the talk that I give, I have this pretty tight five minute talk that I give dudes to get them into therapy. And it always works.

• 26:55Lewis Howes?

  What's that?

• 26:56Speaker 01

  It's the closer of therapy talks. Well, I mean, it's something along the lines of, uh, cause most dudes understand how businesses work. And, you know, you know what a board is, a board of advisors, right?

• 27:09Lewis Howes?

  Yep. I believe in having a personal advisory board, something I talk about is like finding your own personal advisory board.

• 27:15Speaker 01

  Yes, that's something I've been trying to build right now. It's something, the idea of the average of the five people around you. That's the thing that I'm working on so much right now and I'm even doing it, but I'm doing it in different ways. I'm doing it really actively in terms of values. So like I'm, I'm, my wife and I talk about this, like, who can be mentors to us in family?

• 27:31Lewis Howes?

  Oh, that's good.

• 27:32Speaker 01

  Who are great parents, who can be, who are, who seems genuinely happy and is living the life that is worth admiring? Whereas before our mentors were.

• 27:41Lewis Howes?

  Successful.

• 27:41Speaker 01

  First of all, we didn't have as many, but there are people who are doing the things in the, in that old value system where it was really just about status and achievement, to be honest, you know, and to have an adventure.

• 27:50Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 27:50Speaker 01

  But yeah, I think, you know, what I tell them is like, if you build a board, you build a board for a company because the stakes are so high. And you need a place that you can go to to manage the big picture. When you're in a board meeting, you're doing, sure, you're doing triage. But a lot of people outside of the business world don't understand is most of the time, you're actually setting expectations. It's aspirational and the board meeting is there to track how you're doing on your goals. Aspirations are not something you really deal with in moments of triage. So you have this thing for a high stakes company. Is there anything more high stakes than your own life? For some reason, we're not taught

• 28:31Lewis Howes?

  That's true.

• 28:32Speaker 01

  to manage the most important business that will ever be a part of, which is us ourselves. That means put a system in place where you're spending time, you're having a board meeting for yourself, once a week, once every two weeks, once every three weeks, whatever it is, where the only focus is to talk about your goals

• 28:50Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 28:51Speaker 01

  and how to improve them and track them. I like to give the analogy of a trainer in the gym. We know, we can go to the gym, we don't need a trainer. But why do we get a trainer? Well, because you usually, you work out harder. You at least show up. That's to me, you know, people who don't know about therapy, they go to therapy expecting the therapist to do all this work. I love hearing people say, oh, this therapist is just a moron, stupid. Well, maybe, but the therapies, the therapist you go see, even the worst one, you should still be there because you're, the point is that you're supposed to be there in the gym, working out, even the worst, as long as you're there and you're trying to have a conversation with yourself, just that mindfulness of itself, you're getting reps.

• 29:31Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, you put attention to the issue of the challenge.

• 29:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm not saying you should bounce around. I think there's some therapists you're not meant to see at all. Some therapists are only meant to see like a relationship for like a few weeks or a few years and you move on, you get different reflections from different conversations with different people. But it's a business worth managing and if you can manage that business, I think the rest of your life is going to be in a much better place.

• 29:51Lewis Howes?

  Do you think people in therapy are in general happier than people out of therapy or vice versa?

• 29:58Speaker 01

  Well, that's a tough question because, you know, therapy is just a surrogate to to things that a lot of people get outside of therapy. You know, we were just talking about family. Traditionally, we used to be much more dependent on each other, including our elders, for wisdom.

• 30:16Lewis Howes?

  For therapy.

• 30:17Speaker 01

  For therapy. We talk to each other about that.

• 30:19Lewis Howes?

  Because we're in community. I talk to our aunt, or our uncle, or brother, or whatever, right?

• 30:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:23Lewis Howes?

  But we're independent. We're alone and isolated.

• 30:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly. And by the way, that's why men need therapy more than women, okay? Because men isolate more.

• 30:33Lewis Howes?

  I wrote a book about this. Yeah, it's crazy. It's like...

• 30:35Speaker 01

  Women, women, like generally speaking, are a little more emotionally intelligent. I'm sorry, guys who are listening, but women, that thing that we think is gossiping is actually women sharing each other's lives and point of views with each other. That's their board meeting. They're doing it so they have confidants. And so I don't know that therapy is necessarily means that you're a happier person. It is one of the tools that can be there to help you become a happier person. I mean, look, the happiest, happiest people in the world, according to all the studies, are like farmers in the middle of Indonesia.

• 31:08Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 31:09Speaker 01

  You know, they're not going to therapy, but you know, they're doing, they're doing a lot of other things really well, such as just trying to, just living life and living a simple life. And, you know, the American complex has everything to do with optimizing, you know, by the way, we do an episode on this in South Korea, you know, real stresses on work-life balance, that feeling that in work, we always have to be doing better and better and better. And we need more money because whenever we're not working, we're spending more money to make the most out of every minute of our non-work time, to play harder, to go to better restaurants, self-help, everything. We go so hard at every minute of our day, that as a result, we're never actually satisfied with what we have. And

• 31:53Speaker 01

  then, you know, to counterbalance that, we need to schedule even more things, like juice cleanses, and meditation, and therapy, and yoga, TED Talks.

• 32:06Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 32:07Speaker 01

  It's an insane cycle. So I don't know. I think therapy is a very good idea if you don't feel like you have a confidant.

• 32:14Lewis Howes?

  What's the biggest lesson your parents have taught you in the last five years since making the documentary? Because they had an arranged marriage.

• 32:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:21Lewis Howes?

  What's the biggest lesson you've learned from them since you've gotten married and had a kid?

• 32:26Speaker 01

  You know, the idea of arranged marriage, these guys didn't know each other.

• 32:30Lewis Howes?

  They didn't love each other.

• 32:31Speaker 01

  They didn't love each other, yeah. And I found in my marriage, I don't think it's been that different. I knew my wife, I loved her, I proposed to her, we did all the things the American way. But what I've realized is the thing that really makes any relationship work is not a feeling. A feeling might create the willingness to be there.

• 32:52Lewis Howes?

  To try or to.

• 32:53Speaker 01

  To try, yeah, but it's the willingness itself. It's the commitment. And by the way, the feeling and compatibility help your odds, but it's the commitment that, you know, lays the brick down. Well, lays the bricks down one by one. I think my parents are really beautiful evidence of that. They genuinely love each other. I think it comes across. You'll see it in the show. You saw it in the documentary. I told my wife recently, I just recently realized, my wife and I have only known each other for maybe seven years now. And, you know, our daughter's three.

• 33:29Speaker 01

  We, you know, if you'd asked me three or four years ago, I would have said, she's my best friend. I love her.

• 33:34Lewis Howes?

  Your wife?

• 33:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, because that's what we say about our wife. That's what gets us in love and all that stuff. Proposed to her a year from the day we met, you know, love, I love you. Well.

• 33:43Lewis Howes?

  What would you say now?

• 33:44Speaker 01

  Well, now I would say that it's not that easy. Love is actually something you create together over a long period of time. There's, there's chemistry and all that other stuff, but really, I only, this is what I said to my wife. I'm now realizing that.

• 34:05Speaker 01

  I didn't necessarily love you and you definitely weren't my best friend. Because I know what it feels like now to love you. I genuinely think you're my best friend. And I think it has a lot to do with the fact that we had a couple of years in there that were really hard and really dark.

• 34:20Lewis Howes?

  And you made it through.

• 34:21Speaker 01

  And at times hopeless. Yeah. But we made it through together. And when you're able to accomplish something together.

• 34:30Lewis Howes?

  That hard.

• 34:31Speaker 01

  And especially despite the other person. Do you see what I'm saying?

• 34:36Lewis Howes?

  When you don't like them during certain periods of time.

• 34:39Speaker 01

  But when you're able, the thing that kept us together was the idea of us in the future. And that was.

• 34:47Lewis Howes?

  Wow. If you didn't have a kid, do you think you'd be still together?

• 34:52Speaker 01

  I hope so. I don't know though. I mean, I think a kid helps you. I mean, you know, a kid, going back to the business analogy. I mean, that's your product.

• 35:04Speaker 01

  That is, you know, that's our one skew.

• 35:06Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 35:06Speaker 01

  And so we're all in on this thing.

• 35:12Speaker 01

  And what it ends up doing, because it's the one thing, it exposes very quickly every crack in the windshield. Every inefficiency comes to a head. You very quickly have to dig in and figure out who you are. And you know, I'm actually really grateful for my business experience. Because it's, it is really like digging in in those first years of a startup. You just have to be like, well, it's not different from what you've started here from sports. A lot of times you have to put aside the part of your brain that's telling you, yo, this is a bad idea and you're not going to make it. What you need to do, and this is where your ego serves you.

• 35:55Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 35:56Speaker 01

  Your ego is the one that says, don't listen to them. We can do this.

• 36:01Lewis Howes?

  So why do you think some marriages fight less than other marriages?

• 36:06Speaker 01

  Bro, I'm not an expert on this. What, why?

• 36:10Lewis Howes?

  Why do you think? Is it, is it compatibility? Is it chemistry? Is it connection? Is it a differences of ego? Like people are just more empathetic and therefore they don't get into fights? People let down their principles and say, okay, you can have whatever you want.

• 36:27Speaker 01

  I mean, look, I don't know, uh, because I'm only in my marriage and I'm definitely not an expert on this stuff. But if I had to guess, I think relationships all have a finite runway. And some of them are not meant to go on forever.

• 36:47Lewis Howes?

  They might only be a year, five years, seven years and then dissolve.

• 36:52Speaker 01

  Literally every facet of the world and humanity has a shelf life, has a utility.

• 37:03Speaker 01

  When did we decide that that doesn't apply to love? It's just a bullshit American ideal that has been perpetuated by romance novels and movies. Yeah. And there's another thing that's also perpetuated by those things is that this idea of love is the only thing that matters in a relationship. Love, like I said, is more the, the side effect of the work. And in America, I think we're really, we put way too much emphasis on love. I mean, I, I feel like a lot of people, all they care about is love and feeling and lust.

• 37:36Lewis Howes?

  If they don't feel it, they're quick to jump out as well, right?

• 37:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:40Lewis Howes?

  Whereas in India.

• 37:41Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's like, oh, you're not having sex? You feel like it's over? No, of course you, you stopped having sex because you stopped having sex. Like, have you ever had sex with someone this long before? No, of course. I get it. You're used to only having fun in the first two weeks of having sex with someone because it's awesome then. Yes, we get that. Well, what you haven't tried to do is have fun having sex for, in the second year or the third year or the fourth year.

• 38:05Lewis Howes?

  Twentieth year.

• 38:06Speaker 01

  And that's an art form that I have not yet figured out, but I believe that. A decline in romance or lust or the things that were there at the beginning of a relationship. Those aren't indicators that you need to get out. Those are just things that you need to cultivate and grow, just like every other part of your life.

• 38:32Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. What have you learned from your parents about that? They've been together for how long now? Thirty, forty years?

• 38:36Speaker 01

  Thirty, forty years, somewhere in there, yeah.

• 38:38Lewis Howes?

  What have you learned from them about how they've been able to stay together and create love, cultivate love, even when they may be tired of someone's doing something or bored or whatever?

• 38:49Speaker 01

  My parents had instilled in them the idea that there is a higher purpose in themselves. In our culture, you know, the most important thing is community. And my parents are some of the most giving and loving people that I've ever met. And my upbringing was such that we were always forced to do good things for people constantly. Like I was, I'd go to other Indians' houses and I'm mowing their lawns. Or, you know, we had random Indians from India staying with us as we tried to help them get on their feet. I like to say our house was like an immigrant halfway house growing up.

• 39:31Speaker 01

  You know, this duty to community is something that I think says a lot more about the values that really matter in life. I don't know if you've listened to the first episode of Michelle Obama's podcast.

• 39:44Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, it's great.

• 39:44Speaker 01

  Okay, so her and Barack had that conversation. She, they, at the end, they're asking like, what's the one thing we wish you could, we wish we could teach to everyone? And they said, I, one of them said, I wish we could teach that the cleanest path to happiness is giving. That it really makes you happy and it makes you happier than anything else. And that's what my parents. Have that I got to that I got to learn firsthand.

• 40:06Lewis Howes?

  I interviewed Dr. Laurie Santos. She's got a podcast called The Happiness Lab, I believe it's called. And she's like the happiness researcher at Yale, professor there. And two of the top four things that bring the most happiness that is scientifically proven now and studied is giving and gratitude. Two of the top four things. It's such a simple concept, but a lot of us are chasing other things to find happiness, right? What's the thing that people chase the most in your show that you discovered in The Pursuit of Happiness? That they were chasing that they realized wasn't bringing them joy? And what's the thing from all the places you went to? That everyone could agree on that made them feel happy?

• 40:47Speaker 01

  The thing that we all chase, you know, the wrong thing that we chase is the wrong thing. And there's lots of wrong things.

• 40:55Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 40:57Speaker 01

  You know, we have a tendency to not understand what's really important. Like if you've read that book Essentialism, that's literally what that's, you know, know what matters. And to know what matters, you have to equally understand what doesn't matter.

• 41:12Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 41:13Speaker 01

  Uh, you can read that book.

• 41:14Lewis Howes?

  I've read parts of it, yeah, but I need to read more.

• 41:17Speaker 01

  Well, like most books, you only need to read the first 50 pages. Why are books, why are these books so long?

• 41:21Lewis Howes?

  I know.

• 41:22Speaker 01

  Can't people just make 20-page books?

• 41:24Lewis Howes?

  I know.

• 41:24Speaker 01

  Cause they can charge the same amount of money. But I gotta go through this bullshit where I read, and then every time I'm like, well, I figured this out in the first 50 pages.

• 41:31Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 41:32Speaker 01

  He could have taken an essentialist approach to the book and that would have been impressive.

• 41:36Lewis Howes?

  Publishers don't accept that though.

• 41:38Speaker 01

  Is that what it is? It's a publishing situation?

• 41:39Lewis Howes?

  Certain amount of word count, yeah.

• 41:41Speaker 01

  We need to start a publishing company.

• 41:42Lewis Howes?

  There you go.

• 41:42Speaker 01

  Only publish, short books.

• 41:44Lewis Howes?

  There you go.

• 41:45Speaker 01

  Um, and the thing that unites everyone is really a feeling of oneness, a feeling of belonging, community.

• 41:51Lewis Howes?

  But it's funny that in America, we leave at a certain age, we go on our own, we're independent. Why is that such a, um, a thing for us? It's different than your culture. Why do you think that is in American culture?

• 42:05Speaker 01

  Well, this, this country was founded on being the new guy and, uh, the youthful, progressive, evolving.

• 42:16Lewis Howes?

  Anarchist.

• 42:16Speaker 01

  Anarchist almost. So that's where the individuality thing comes from. In fact, the episode in Denmark. That we did for Pursuit of Happiness. I went with my Muslim friend and

• 42:27Lewis Howes?

  It was supposed to be the happiest country, except with immigrants, right?

• 42:31Speaker 01

  Exactly. And that was fascinating because I'd only heard of Denmark is like the happiest place in the world. But I think one of the reasons why it's so happy is because it's so homogeneous. It's pretty much happy if you're white.

• 42:42Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 42:42Speaker 01

  But if you're not, it's kind of difficult. And what the reason why I even did that episode is I'm like, oh, this is this is really American. And this is what we're going through. It's actually something that's happening all around the world right now. It made me realize that one of the reasons why we're going through this moment in our country is because we are so diverse. We do champion individuality in an awesome way. And we're fortunate enough where the underrepresented communities actually are getting enough voice where they can raise a ruckus. That's a good thing because in other countries in the world

• 43:24Lewis Howes?

  They can't. They have no voice. In Denmark, they have no voice, it sounds like.

• 43:27Speaker 01

  Yeah. No, they don't. They don't have much of a voice that people are fighting for them.

• 43:30Lewis Howes?

  How many immigrants live there, do you know?

• 43:32Speaker 01

  God, I don't know. I don't know. And I'm sure we give that statistic in the show.

• 43:35Lewis Howes?

  It's a much smaller, it's a much smaller amount of people there than here.

• 43:38Speaker 01

  It's significantly smaller.

• 43:40Lewis Howes?

  It's like 5%, 10% range, you think, or?

• 43:42Speaker 01

  But I think the oneness thing is actually the reason why we're going through this moment in time.

• 43:48Speaker 01

  We don't feel like one.

• 43:49Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 43:50Speaker 01

  We're not one. People here don't feel like they're part of one family, even in the way that we talk to each other, you know? Could there be anything more divisive than the election we're in, where the main message from both parties is vote for me because the other party is evil. No, evil. This is like Star Wars. Okay. It's not like a conversation about ideologies and policy. It's literally that other, that other team is evil and we're

• 44:18Lewis Howes?

  We need to defeat them.

• 44:19Speaker 01

  The almighty. Yes. That's not how you create a dialogue within your family. You know, to go back to my sister or my parents, if you really want to do it well, you have to do it with empathy and with love despite these principles. And that's really hard.

• 44:37Lewis Howes?

  So hard.

• 44:38Speaker 01

  It's so hard, dude. Especially, I mean, when the stakes are so high. I mean, again, bring it back to the election. I mean, I have such a tough time not getting furious. And I want to take it out on These people that I blame for putting us in this position. And then I remember I'm from North Carolina and I have so many friends that are Republican that are some of the most loving, wonderful people I've ever met.

• 45:02Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 45:03Speaker 01

  Intensely loyal. In fact, intense loyalty, I think, is the reason why.

• 45:09Lewis Howes?

  It's interesting. I've been, I've been having these conversations with my, some of my team members and, you know, we're, we just hit our thousandth episode. Thank you. And I'm thinking of the next thousand episodes of like, how can I truly make a bigger impact with my community? I'm always willing to go on any platform and share a message, whether it's, you know, more conservative, more liberal. You have to be willing to have a conversation with people that don't agree and try to draw them back in, give them some, give them some candy to get them drawn back in for the, the vegetables, right?

• 45:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:44Lewis Howes?

  And wouldn't that help us have a better conversation, to open a dialogue?

• 45:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:49Lewis Howes?

  But I think some people, but I feel like so many people are like, you can't put these people on your platform because then you're endorsing them and it makes you bad.

• 45:55Speaker 01

  You're giving them a platform, yeah.

• 45:56Lewis Howes?

  But I'm like, we need to give, we need to be able to open up and have a conversation with people that we don't agree with, in a calm, loving way, don't we?

• 46:04Speaker 01

  I agree. I think if the person that you're having the conversation with represents a viewpoint that a lot of people have, then I think you're not giving them a platform. You're actually giving your audience a point of access. The idea of cancel culture or just, anytime anyone only is willing to listen to their own opinions. This is why, like, people hate on, a lot of liberals hate on Joe Rogan because he talks to anyone and he's generally a kind of, he says what he feels. People should be allowed to disagree. People should be allowed to be wrong. People should be allowed to be stupid. People should be allowed to make mistakes. And that's how we learn and we progress together. But the

• 46:44Speaker 01

  idea of, you know, I'll speak just for liberals, because I am, I am liberal, at least socially. There is nothing more anti-liberal

• 46:54Speaker 01

  Than not having an open, inclusive conversation.

• 46:59Lewis Howes?

  That's a powerful statement right there.

• 47:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I would argue that there's-

• 47:02Lewis Howes?

  Then why are so many liberals like, no, like-

• 47:05Speaker 01

  Conservatism I get, because that's premise, literally the word conservative is in there. The whole premise of that party is tribalism at its max. The thing that matters most is stick with everything we have and we hang on to it and everyone protect it. That's that philosophy, okay? The idea of liberalism is premised more on, well, let's call it progressivism. That word progress isn't, it's about evolving, it's about changing. You can't change and evolve if the only person you're listening to is yourself.

• 47:36Lewis Howes?

  Yourself, with the same opinions.

• 47:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's your own opinion.

• 47:38Lewis Howes?

  That's why I have different people from religious backgrounds, spiritual backgrounds, different scientific backgrounds, nutrition background.

• 47:45Speaker 01

  Anyone who gets pissed at you for having a conversation with someone who disagrees with you, I think that person themselves is probably a hypocrite.

• 47:54Lewis Howes?

  Interesting.

• 47:55Speaker 01

  And maybe that's the person that needs to listen to. As long as you do it in a way that's thoughtful and respectful, I think more good than bad can come out of it.

• 48:03Lewis Howes?

  You're very connected in the Hollywood scene. You have a lot of friends who are big actors and producers and directors. Do you have any friends who have been like canceled during this climate that you're close with? That you have-

• 48:16Speaker 01

  I actually don't have a lot, I know a lot of people in that world, but I actually have very few famous friends. I don't care for them.

• 48:26Speaker 01

  You know what it is, man? I have this like, I think I have this complex with power and popularity that's probably rooted in my younger years. And I find narcissism, anything involving like status and power, I find all those things so off-putting and they also kind of trigger me. So I have a tough time in general interacting with people like that, even if they're doing nothing wrong. But then, a lot of these people- Have walls up around them, rightfully so because of, because they're famous. I just like normal people. Like, most of my friends are really-

• 49:09Lewis Howes?

  And just smart, good people that are-

• 49:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's why we're leaving LA. Like, I wanna be around more normal people.

• 49:15Lewis Howes?

  When are you leaving?

• 49:15Speaker 01

  We're talking about moving at the end of this year. That's another thing that came out of the show.

• 49:18Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 49:19Speaker 01

  So in the show, we, we did the episode on work-life balance. We did the episode on marriage during which we went to like, this, this, these farmers who are living the simple life that we've talked about doing. We did an episode with my parents about retirement and being closer to, to my parents. And in Denmark, we realized that you, we wanna be closer to the people whose views we oppose rather than away from them. A culmination of that is, we're gonna move east to be closer to my parents, to live in a place that's more politically and intellectually diverse. And we're gonna live, and we're gonna reduce our overhead by 50%-

• 49:51Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 49:52Speaker 01

  And live a much simpler, cleaner life. Yeah, we already said taxes. And, and we're gonna live in a, we're gonna live somewhere where, people don't really know what everyone does for work, and they don't care.

• 50:03Lewis Howes?

  Wow, wait a minute. So, do you know where you're going yet, or you're-

• 50:05Speaker 01

  We're looking at Nashville and Raleigh-Durham Chapel Hill.

• 50:08Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 50:08Speaker 01

  So we're gonna go do a test drive-

• 50:09Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 50:10Speaker 01

  At the end of this year.

• 50:11Lewis Howes?

  My sister's in Charlotte, she loves it there.

• 50:13Speaker 01

  Well, I'm from Charlotte.

• 50:14Lewis Howes?

  Oh, wow.

• 50:14Speaker 01

  So we probably won't move to Charlotte. My wife's from Atlanta. Um, but we wanna live, live close enough to, to the grandparents, and so-

• 50:20Lewis Howes?

  Where do they live, Charlotte?

• 50:22Speaker 01

  Well, her, mine are in Charlotte, hers are in Atlanta.

• 50:24Lewis Howes?

  Oh, well, gotcha.

• 50:25Speaker 01

  And so, we wanna be close enough-

• 50:26Lewis Howes?

  It's like three, four hours in between, yeah, yeah.

• 50:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:28Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 50:29Speaker 01

  But that's why we're doing it. I kinda feel like, maybe it's a better transition-

• 50:33Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 50:33Speaker 01

  To live somewhere. I also, I do need to be able to get on a plane easily-

• 50:36Lewis Howes?

  I hear you, yeah.

• 50:37Speaker 01

  To come to LA, to go to New York, just for work.

• 50:40Lewis Howes?

  Right. Interesting. So you are moving, that's a plan?

• 50:43Speaker 01

  It's 75, we're going to the East Coast for like three or four months-

• 50:46Lewis Howes?

  To test it out.

• 50:47Speaker 01

  And we're gonna test drive places.

• 50:48Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 50:49Speaker 01

  And I, if I had to bet, I would say that we're gonna move after that. And the way we're doing it is, look, if we come back to LA, it'll just have been a great adventure.

• 50:59Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 50:59Speaker 01

  You know, the, you, look, I'm sure you've had these conversations. Wanting to do the perfect next move, whether it's in career or other facets of your life, it's paralyzing. And it keeps people from doing, it's the best part of that first book that's in for, uh, four hour, four-

• 51:12Lewis Howes?

  Four hour work week.

• 51:13Speaker 01

  That's like one of the, that's the best part of that book, is where he talks about how the need to, to feel good about the next move is the thing that keeps people from ever making that move.

• 51:21Lewis Howes?

  Just go do it.

• 51:22Speaker 01

  Or just go move.

• 51:23Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 51:24Speaker 01

  In this case, literally, we're moving.

• 51:27Lewis Howes?

  I like the idea. I mean, Nashville's cool.

• 51:31Lewis Howes?

  Durham, I think those would be great places.

• 51:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:33Lewis Howes?

  That's fascinating, man. Wow. So what if I mean, a job brings you back here, then you just move back here, I guess, huh?

• 51:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I'm also trying to figure out a life where I don't need to be here or New York, New York as much. I'm doing so much stuff just in terms of writing, directing, producing, stuff that doesn't require me to be here as much. My acting career is going great, but I don't get as much fulfillment from that. The main thing I get, not that it isn't fun sometimes. But I don't get the creative fulfillment out of acting that I do out of.

• 52:01Lewis Howes?

  Creating.

• 52:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly. And so, but I need to keep doing it because it actually opens.

• 52:05Lewis Howes?

  The door.

• 52:06Speaker 01

  All the doors to these other things.

• 52:07Lewis Howes?

  The relevancy, isn't that interesting? What is the, I mean, what's your thoughts on being, becoming a celebrity? And becoming a, I feel like in order, if you have an idea, if you have a product, a business, you need to have someone become a celebrity to get attention. Otherwise, you're driven by buying media, spending money on advertising to get attention, right? There's two ways, organic eyeballs or paid eyeballs.

• 52:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:37Lewis Howes?

  If you have a project, an idea or something.

• 52:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:41Lewis Howes?

  What's your thoughts on becoming a celebrity, the celebrity world, like?

• 52:46Speaker 01

  Well, I think about that a decent amount because it's something that I've always been extremely uncomfortable with. Up until a few days ago, my Instagram account was private.

• 52:57Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 52:57Speaker 01

  And yeah, and against the advice of everyone in my sphere for years. Because for me, I was like, you know what, like, I don't, I don't like the fame part of it. I understand why that's an important part of the business and how it can help my career. But I also feel like if I make good things, the cream will rise to the top and maybe I can at least avoid that part of my life for a period of time because at least that way I'm not sitting there thinking, oh, I should post this or I should write that and it'll be another business to manage. But now it's like I have. I have three shows coming out in the next four months. You know, I have so many things happening and I kind of need to have, because they're so personal. I need to have a way to engage and I'm doing press and I don't know how I feel about it.

• 53:41Speaker 01

  By the way, anyone who's listening to this, please follow me because I literally only have like 15,000 followers. How many followers do you have?

• 53:47Lewis Howes?

  I don't know, something.

• 53:48Speaker 01

  A lot.

• 53:48Lewis Howes?

  A million something, yeah, yeah.

• 53:50Speaker 01

  Can I have some of them? How do I get those?

• 53:51Lewis Howes?

  Sure, yeah.

• 53:52Speaker 01

  Can you teach me how to get followers?

• 53:53Lewis Howes?

  Go follow them. What is it?

• 53:54Speaker 01

  Is that what it does? Is that what I do? I follow them and they follow me back?

• 53:57Lewis Howes?

  No, no, I'm telling you, they have to follow you.

• 53:58Speaker 01

  Follow me. Show me the rubby.

• 54:00Lewis Howes?

  Show me the rubby.

• 54:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, we'll keep low expectations. I post once a month and it's usually just my daughter and my wife.

• 54:06Lewis Howes?

  Well, here's the thing, something you said that I might push back on is I heard you say, I want to create great things and great stuff will rise to the top. The challenge is, my brother said this, he's the number one jazz violinist in the world and he said this early on to me. He said, I know so many great musicians out there that sit at home and make great work and they expect people to discover them. You need to be just as good at marketing your talent as you are at making the talent become better. And, you know, if you find an agent who discovers you somehow and they do it for you, then that's great. But most of us don't have that.

• 54:43Speaker 01

  Well, you're really, you're really good at it. You've done it in such a beautiful way. By the way, I just want you to know, I'm so proud of you and the fact that you've gotten this far and I've seen it grow firsthand and I think the product is excellent. I think what you do is authentic. I think you're so good at this and I've, you have such a great combination of confidence and you're humble and, and, and I think people really see that. Like you have an egoless, truly assertive and earnest and I think that's what's attractive about what you're doing. So I'm so proud of you.

• 55:13Lewis Howes?

  Appreciate it.

• 55:14Speaker 01

  And you're also really good, like your social content is really good. It's all inspirational. It's the right size. It looks well. It's exactly what I would want. In fact, what we should talk about is you doing this stuff for me. That would be amazing. That would be amazing.

• 55:27Lewis Howes?

  Well, my team, I got a great team. They're all doing it.

• 55:29Speaker 01

  We might have to figure out, you might have to do well. You know, I think for me, I'm happy to do it. I've just been uncomfortable with it for whatever reason. I also now feel this pressure, like I made my profile public.

• 55:39Lewis Howes?

  The best pose you did. It must have been a couple of months ago. It was the, do you remember, just, can you guess what photo it is that you did that I'm thinking of?

• 55:48Speaker 01

  I have no idea.

• 55:49Lewis Howes?

  You did a photo of you shirtless?

• 55:50Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 55:51Lewis Howes?

  Talking about, uh-

• 55:52Speaker 01

  Kumail's, like, it was like, yeah, yeah.

• 55:54Lewis Howes?

  Dude, he was looking ripped in that photo.

• 55:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I was looking chubby, huh? I was just like, um-

• 55:59Lewis Howes?

  That was funny.

• 56:00Speaker 01

  Like, now, one thing I'm really insecure about is I made my profile public, and I have, like, no followers, so I'm like worried people are gonna look at it and be like, oh, I guess I was wrong about, like, he's not as successful as we thought he was or something. Like, I don't know, I'm like, do I need to, like, get a bunch of followers really quickly or something?

• 56:17Lewis Howes?

  What's the pressure of being relevant and staying relevant in the celebrity world?

• 56:21Speaker 01

  I have no pressure, that's the thing, I'm not motivated by that, and I wish I were a little more, because I think it'd be really good for my career. Uh, but I don't know, I don't, I'm trying to figure it out, I'm still in the early stages of it, but I think the fame thing is inevitable for me at this point. And so, I'm, what I'm trying to figure out is, how can I do it in a way that's authentic to me? And in a way that is hopefully additive to others?

• 56:49Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 56:49Speaker 01

  Um, and so, I don't know what that answer is yet.

• 56:53Lewis Howes?

  Well, I'm curious, what's your best advice, since you have experienced fame?

• 56:56Speaker 01

  And what's your advice? You're the one who, you know this way better than me.

• 56:59Lewis Howes?

  Well, you're very, you're on sets with, like, celebrities, you're on sets with actors, you're experiencing this with people a lot, right? I'm curious, what's the best advice for, that you have for someone who might rise into fame quickly? Uh, who isn't famous, but they might become famous for whatever reason, they put out a book-

• 57:17Speaker 01

  I would certainly have no idea what that's like.

• 57:20Lewis Howes?

  They put a book out, they do a documentary, and all of a sudden, they get attention.

• 57:23Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 57:24Lewis Howes?

  What's the best advice for managing fame that you would have? Based on what you've experienced and what you've seen other people do, right and wrong?

• 57:30Speaker 01

  Yeah. See, I don't really have the answer to this, it's something I've discussed quite a bit. I'll tell you, I'll tell you the advice I gave my dad. Because

• 57:38Lewis Howes?

  When he became famous.

• 57:39Speaker 01

  When he became famous. And he was accustomed to everyone asking him about the documentary everywhere he went. Every party, even with his friends, even at home. Talking about the documentary so much and then an obsession with posting about it or looking it up. And it all came out of a loving, an excitement, an enthusiasm that I can't believe that this is like my, my, my old kids and, and that my kids have achieved this like this guy, like my, his dad had to borrow money from the village to send him to America. Who would have thought this would have been the next chapter in his life? Like, and, and his kids, he's just so proud.

• 58:21Speaker 01

  And, and, and what I told my dad was, I was like, look, what I've learned is when you have fame or you even have a big personality, of which my dad and I and my mom and my sister, we have both. We're loud, we're gregarious. And we have some, people like to talk about us when we're in the room.

• 58:41Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 58:42Speaker 01

  And what happens is everyone's trying to talk about you. You're the most, in their eyes, the most interesting person. And what happens is you get used to that, you play into it. And a couple of things happen as a result of that. You start to expect to talk about yourself. Okay? And two, you're inadvertently taking away attention from the other people there. And so I think the more that you get fame, I think the more you have to work. You still want to be honest. Like, I don't care for, I don't agree with the philosophy that a lot of famous people have, which is like downplay enthusiasm for what they're doing or shut off and don't talk about themselves at all.

• 59:26Speaker 01

  I just think, give an honest, thoughtful answer. Be genuinely grateful when you get compliments. But also.

• 59:35Speaker 01

  You do have to work a little harder than most people to elevate the other people in the conversation. How can you make them just as interesting to you as you are to them?

• 59:46Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, something I learned early on, I was really scared to talk to people. Like in my teens and twenties, I didn't feel comfortable like going up to strangers and talking to them. Until I created a challenge for myself one summer where I was gonna go up to people. Like originally it was girls when I was a teenager. I was scared to talk to girls. And so I created a challenge one summer to go up and talk to every girl that I had like goosebumps around, right?

• 1:00:09Speaker 01

  God, I wish I was you growing up. This is all smart.

• 1:00:12Lewis Howes?

  It's the most challenging thing, but it got me over the fear of rejection early on. And the fear of like girls like laughing at me or whatever. And at the end of the summer, I could talk to any girl all the time, like just to have a conversation, not trying to hit on girls or whatever. But just like to feel like I could go up to any group of girls and just say hi and as a social experiment. It's the greatest thing.

• 1:00:32Speaker 01

  Were you finding success where there were opt-ins during this process?

• 1:00:35Lewis Howes?

  Of course, yeah. I mean, I got opt-ins, the phone numbers, all those things. It's great.

• 1:00:38Speaker 01

  Opt-ins with women are not dissimilar from opt-ins and social media. You just need volume.

• 1:00:43Lewis Howes?

  That's it.

• 1:00:43Speaker 01

  And a certain percentage.

• 1:00:44Lewis Howes?

  It's a numbers game.

• 1:00:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'll tell you what, I had no opt-ins, but I wasn't putting anything out there. I was a zero percent batter and I was never at the plate.

• 1:00:53Lewis Howes?

  Right, yeah. So I did that and I was gonna say there, what were we just talking about before that?

• 1:01:03Speaker 01

  Guys, what were you talking about?

• 1:01:04Lewis Howes?

  Oh, here's what I was gonna say. Got it. Something I learned early on when I was learning how to just communicate with other people. Learning how to introduce myself, learning how to be at a party, events, like just learning these things. I learned that the most interesting person in the room is the most interested person in the room. And so I didn't need to, when I was meeting girls, when I was out networking in business world for my first time. At first, I felt like I needed to be interesting and be like, this is who I am and look at me, I'm like a magician of like whatever and dazzle people. And then I realized I just have to listen and ask great questions.

• 1:01:41Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:01:41Lewis Howes?

  And I learned this when I was sixteen and then did it in my early twenties when I was in the business world. And when I started to listen and just be so interested in the other person, they would always be like, man, that Louis guy is the most interesting person here. And I would never say anything. I didn't have to like, they didn't even know who I was. They didn't know my background, my success, my failure, nothing. But they knew that I was curious about them. And when we lean into curiosity about other people, we become automatically more interesting to them. And that's why I think if you have fame or credibility or celebrity in an industry or in the world, when you turn it back on someone else, if like, if you're gracious and humble, like you said, just like, thank you, I'm really excited about this thing.

• 1:02:23Lewis Howes?

  But also like, just asking other people questions, they're gonna be like, wow, that was pretty cool.

• 1:02:29Speaker 01

  I love that. I mean, I, my struggle growing up was taking up too much attention. Before the fame stuff, like, taking up too much space and, and it was something that I recognized,

• 1:02:45Speaker 01

  you know, at some point in college, I was so focused on everything out here. And I remember one spring break in college, all my best friends went to spring break without me. And I found out about it a week beforehand, and I was crushed.

• 1:02:59Lewis Howes?

  And you still remember it today?

• 1:03:01Speaker 01

  I actually didn't even remember it till a couple of years ago, it kinda came up and I was like, oh, I like, had suppressed that memory. That was one of the most scarring experiences of my life. But I look back and I think, oh, well, that's because whenever I went somewhere with them, when, like, if we walked into a bar, I was the guy that knew everyone. And I would be hanging out with everyone and you wouldn't hang, I wouldn't hang out with my actual friends when I was there. I was so outwardly focused and focused on attention and...

• 1:03:26Lewis Howes?

  Being the most liked guy in the room and...

• 1:03:28Speaker 01

  Yes, yes. And I'm so grateful that that happened because I think that was a really big turning point for me of starting to... Focus on the people that are my people.

• 1:03:40Lewis Howes?

  That's interesting.

• 1:03:40Speaker 01

  Number one. And by the way, that, talk about an incredible tool to have coming into a place like Hollywood, where there's all this other noise on the outside of know who you love and know whose opinion really matters. But it was also the beginning of me practicing being interested.

• 1:03:55Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 1:03:56Speaker 01

  It's such, I love, by the way, that should be the social media thing for this. The interested thing that you said, that's it.

• 1:04:01Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:01Speaker 01

  That's it.

• 1:04:02Lewis Howes?

  There you go. They got the clip.

• 1:04:04Speaker 01

  That's it.

• 1:04:04Lewis Howes?

  They got the clip.

• 1:04:05Speaker 01

  Got the clip.

• 1:04:06Lewis Howes?

  I want to ask you a couple of fun of questions, but the show is out right now. It's called The Pursuit of Happiness. It's on HBO Max.

• 1:04:12Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 1:04:13Lewis Howes?

  It's a, how many series is it?

• 1:04:14Speaker 01

  Four episodes.

• 1:04:15Lewis Howes?

  Four episodes. They can watch all four right now or?

• 1:04:18Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:04:18Lewis Howes?

  Okay, so you can check it out. I guess HBO Max is online on TV and any subscription that you have for HBO Max.

• 1:04:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:25Lewis Howes?

  They can follow you on social media. Show me the ravi.

• 1:04:28Speaker 01

  Show me the ravi. Now, if everyone here follows me.

• 1:04:32Lewis Howes?

  It'll explode.

• 1:04:33Speaker 01

  I just need to get, I'm at 15,000. If I can get to 16,000.

• 1:04:37Lewis Howes?

  16,000, be happy.

• 1:04:37Speaker 01

  Oh, I'll be like, what, what, what is this spike? Do people go on podcasts and beg for followers? Is that a thirsty thing?

• 1:04:44Lewis Howes?

  You're the first to.

• 1:04:45Speaker 01

  I'm the thirstiest guest we've ever had.

• 1:04:47Lewis Howes?

  It's all good. If they love you, they'll follow you.

• 1:04:50Speaker 01

  Or they'll think, this guy's thirsty.

• 1:04:51Lewis Howes?

  He's thirsty.

• 1:04:52Speaker 01

  I find him quite off putting.

• 1:04:53Lewis Howes?

  It's all good. It's all good. As long as you start value to follow. So as long as you're funny, entertaining, or interesting, they'll follow you. I want to ask you this. Last time you were on.

• 1:05:03Speaker 01

  You know what, by the way, if they follow me, what I would like to hear is when you start following me, you tell me if there's something I can improve. I will be down with that.

• 1:05:10Lewis Howes?

  I like that.

• 1:05:11Speaker 01

  And I'm into it. Say, ravi, this content blows. Do X.

• 1:05:14Lewis Howes?

  Do this.

• 1:05:15Speaker 01

  Do Y, you guys.

• 1:05:16Lewis Howes?

  I like that.

• 1:05:17Speaker 01

  That would be a great service, because I bet all your listeners are very much like you.

• 1:05:20Lewis Howes?

  They love feedback. They love giving feedback and telling me when I'm, when I'm right or wrong all the time. So it's all good.

• 1:05:25Speaker 01

  Oh, great. That's what I want. That's what I want. I love being told when I'm right or wrong. You know who loves doing that to me? My wife.

• 1:05:31Lewis Howes?

  And your kid.

• 1:05:31Speaker 01

  Just the wrong part. But yeah.

• 1:05:34Lewis Howes?

  Isn't that interesting? That's the next topic. We'll do that in the next episode.

• 1:05:36Speaker 01

  It's not interesting. It's exhausting.

• 1:05:39Lewis Howes?

  Excited about that.

• 1:05:40Speaker 01

  She's getting pissed at me. I'm like, I'm interested. I'm interested.

• 1:05:43Lewis Howes?

  Right. I have empathy.

• 1:05:45Speaker 01

  I have empathy. I'm interested. I'm the most interesting person because I'm interested. She's like, you suck. I'm like, alright.

• 1:05:52Lewis Howes?

  I asked you this last, I'm curious what your response is here. I asked you about your three truths. I love you about this question where if it's the last day of your life and you've created everything you want in your dreams, but you've got to take it all with you to the next place. But you get to leave behind three things you know to be true that you would share with the world, three lessons you would share with the world. I have yours here from before. You probably don't remember them.

• 1:06:15Speaker 01

  Don't tell them to you yet.

• 1:06:16Lewis Howes?

  But I'm curious.

• 1:06:16Speaker 01

  Do I want to hear them first?

• 1:06:17Lewis Howes?

  I want, no, I want to hear what you say.

• 1:06:18Speaker 01

  First, okay.

• 1:06:19Lewis Howes?

  You share three truths.

• 1:06:20Speaker 01

  Laugh as much as you can. Be interested. So you just gave me one of my, you said what's that?

• 1:06:29Speaker 01

  Have a great day. God, that sounds cheesy. Is there a more eloquent way to say that?

• 1:06:34Lewis Howes?

  Well, I'll show you what you said before.

• 1:06:37Lewis Howes?

  The more love you give, the more you feel the happy you are.

• 1:06:42Speaker 01

  Okay, I like that one. Okay, keep going, keep going.

• 1:06:45Lewis Howes?

  You said, family above everything.

• 1:06:49Speaker 01

  That's another great one.

• 1:06:50Lewis Howes?

  You said, focus on what you have, forgive and let go of the stuff you don't, you don't have. And I think this is like four things. You will only do as well as the work you put in. So those were your three and a half truths.

• 1:07:04Speaker 01

  Well, let's be honest, those are great.

• 1:07:06Lewis Howes?

  Those are great.

• 1:07:06Speaker 01

  Yeah. So one could argue that the, listening to this episode was a waste of everyone's time. Because I've actually devolved.

• 1:07:17Lewis Howes?

  Or just like your book theory, they just have to listen to the last couple of minutes to get the whole episode.

• 1:07:25Speaker 01

  This should be your shortest episode.

• 1:07:27Lewis Howes?

  Exactly. Just do it 10 minutes.

• 1:07:29Speaker 01

  Oh, I would love that. Guys, I'd like to welcome you to our first 10 minute episode.

• 1:07:36Lewis Howes?

  The best of. I appreciate it, man. People can follow you online. They can check out the show. It's always fun to have you on, man. Appreciate it.

• 1:07:44Speaker 01

  Dude, thanks for the love, man. And thanks for always. You always get back to me right away. And you just show me so much love and support. I can't thank you enough. I'm serious.

• 1:07:51Lewis Howes?

  Got your back, man.

• 1:07:52Speaker 01

  I know you do, and I appreciate it. Back at you.

• 1:07:53Lewis Howes?

  Of course, man. Thanks, brother.

• 1:07:56Lewis Howes?

  Thank you so, so much for listening to this episode. Make sure to share it with a friend you think might enjoy it. Go ahead and just copy and paste the link wherever you're listening to this on Apple or Spotify or anywhere else, or just use lewishouse.com/1009 and share that link out with a friend you think might be inspired to hear Robbie's story and message. And also click that subscribe button over on Apple Podcasts right now if you are a fan of the show and you want to help see us reach more people and inspire the world. All you got to do is click subscribe and listen and share it with a friend and you can impact people's lives as well by doing so. And if you want inspirational messages from me every single week, I'll shoot you a text with some of my favorite inspiring messages. Just text

• 1:08:41Lewis Howes?

  the word podcast to 614-350-3960. And I want to close with a quote from Andrew Carnegie, who said, "If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes." And if you haven't been reminded anytime lately, you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter, my friend. I'm so grateful for you. You are an incredible gift in this world. And don't forget to continue on your happiness journey every single day. You deserve love and you deserve happiness. Sometimes you got to go make it happen for yourself. And you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.