MBMBaM 837: Quantum Cornhole

Dear podcast diary, At least one of us is using this medium as a place to put all our feelings and thoughts about everything, like Kid Rock's new terrible songs, useless but impressive sports skills, and our favorite puppets. But that doesn't mean we know what episode number this is! Love you like a sister! Suggested talking points: Detroit Shlock Shitty, Can't Suck Up Front, My Son, The Sock Puppet, The Lola Bunny Donut Can't Be Real Center for Reproductive Rights: https://reproductiverights.org/

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

• 0:20Speaker 01

  One, two, three, four. It's the start of something beautiful. A small acquaintance has lost it. It's rapid into a precious friendship. I could have never seen what was coming for me. Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach. My life, it feels like. My life, ah, it's better, it's better with you. My life, ah, it's better, it's better with you. This is true, ah, it's better, it's better with you.

• 1:03Speaker 01

  My life, ah, it's better with you.

• 1:09Travis McElroy?

  Hello, everybody, and welcome to My Brother, My Brother, Me and Advice Show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

• 1:16Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, me? What up, Trav Nation? I'm your middlest brother Travis, Big Dog, Wolf, Wolf, from the heater, award-winning McElroy. I'm your sweet baby brother, Griffin McElroy. Have you guys had the moment since we started putting up our full video episodes of my Bim Bam for our members on YouTube where, I don't know, since I go third in the intro, sometimes I feel like I can just kind of stare into the middle distance until it's my turn to talk, but now there's the ever looming threat of like, people might be seeing this, I can't dig out a wedgie, I can't, you know, hit my big vape right before, you know, like I usually do.

• 1:50Travis McElroy?

  Not since the My Brother, My Brother and Me CISO hit TV show, have I been so aware of the fact that my engaged listening face makes it look like I'm thinking about inevitable death.

• 2:02Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, sure. And it's, I mean, any given day, it's one or, it's one or the other.

• 2:08Travis McElroy?

  You gotta stop watching yourselves. You gotta find better stuff on YouTube to watch.

• 2:12Griffin McElroy?

  But I'm so handsome.

• 2:13Travis McElroy?

  I know. You gotta stop watching your own. You can't eat your own brand. Hey, I wanted to, I wanted to tell you guys, I didn't expect this to be a segment, but I'm really excited to tell you that last week Kiss and Pitbull came out with the worst song ever.

• 2:28Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 2:29Travis McElroy?

  Right? Reaching for the stars. Their couple name is Piss. Piss. Yes. Kiss came out with Reach for the Stars, which is a combination of, it doesn't matter, it's really shitty listening last year. But not to be undone by the worst song ever, our friend Kid Rock came, came to, our, sorry, our best friend, Kid Rock, came to.

• 2:53Griffin McElroy?

  Honorary Lieutenant of the Air Force, Kid Rock.

• 2:57Travis McElroy?

  And I'm Space, Space Force Commander Kid Rock. In a segment, I now am forced to call Detroit schlock shitty.

• 3:07Griffin McElroy?

  Wow, juice.

• 3:09Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, well, cause it's building from Kiss into Kid Rock, right?

• 3:13Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, man.

• 3:14Travis McElroy?

  Detroit schlock shitty, cause it's not just Kid Rock on this track, which is religious from the album Halfway.

• 3:22Griffin McElroy?

  Is this another collab? Can I guess? Is it DJ Khalid?

• 3:26Travis McElroy?

  You're so close. You couldn't be any closer if you tried because it's Eminem.

• 3:31Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, wow. Wow. Wow. A lot of, a lot of Michigan realness on this one.

• 3:36Travis McElroy?

  Yes, this is why the name, so I can't, we can't play it, obviously, because we'll get copyright strict, but it's called Heal My Faith, and I will tell you, I'm gonna give you, I'm gonna give you Rock's chorus. Lord, Lord above, shine your light, show me love, please let me in, heal my faith, forgive my sins. That's the chorus, it's twice.

• 4:00Griffin McElroy?

  That's awesome. That's awesome.

• 4:02Travis McElroy?

  And then there's this, this is, put your hands in the sky, fuck off, like all the great Christian songs.

• 4:09Griffin McElroy?

  Wait, is that Marsh, does Marshall say that?

• 4:12Travis McElroy?

  I think Marshall says fuck off. Is it a rebuttal? Wait, sorry. Is it, is it him being like, I didn't know what the song was when I signed up for it? That would actually be great if, hey, guys, canonically, there is justification in the text. So I'm actually not gonna tell you what Kid Rock says, cause it's fucking garbage. It includes, here's this, build outward from, fly higher than high eagle eye in the sky. Okay? So build outward in shitty directions from that, okay?

• 4:42Griffin McElroy?

  You don't get much higher than that.

• 4:44Travis McElroy?

  Okay, and then Eminem's, it's time, Eminem would like to do his verse. Now Eminem spends much less time talking about his walk with Christ.

• 4:56Griffin McElroy?

  Uh huh.

• 4:57Travis McElroy?

  And much more time explaining why he's doing the song. I've never seen someone explain why they are doing a song in a song to the extent that Marshall has, okay, here's Marshall's verse. Okay, I probably used to bump the polyfuse method. Now, what's that? I'm gonna do a little genius, genius for you guys, okay? Polyfuse method is a Kid Rock album. I probably used to bump the polyfuse method like every two seconds. The prodigal son was a huge record. Grit sandwiches for breakfast. This rhyme reminds me, the year was 1997 when I was grinding, a silver lining, finally, a tiny light is shining, but it's so bright, it's blinding.

• 5:39Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, the Viper Room release party from ICD, the Slim Shady EP, Kid came to see me. I was nobody. He came to my show to see me, was dope, cause it seemed like a sign from Jehovah to me. Cause then I got signed, Dre ultimately saved my life, but what Kid did emotionally when he showed up was, he gave me hope. He told me to keep going. I did. Fast forward to three months later, we both in California, and we are staying at the same apartments, the Oakwoods, and he was recording, I want to take a brief note here, I'm reading this, I'm not adding or subtracting anything.

• 6:21Griffin McElroy?

  No, you're not doing it in his exact sort of traditional meter.

• 6:26Travis McElroy?

  I'm adjusting the cadence and the meter, but this is lyrically exactly what he says. Months later. So what I, for the, for the rest of this clip, I want, for the rest of the lyrics, I want you to picture like that Mr. Mathers is sitting with like a gentleman's magazine, perhaps a GQ.

• 6:42Griffin McElroy?

  A pipe. He's talking to his grandkids. You see, you see grandkids.

• 6:46Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Well, and they've just asked a question like, you know, what, what are your thought, like, what kind of headspace are you on to record? And he's been talking now for like 20 minutes. In the answer, and they're like.

• 7:00Griffin McElroy?

  None of this is printable.

• 7:01Travis McElroy?

  Our, okay, uh, let's see, months later, we both in California, and we are staying at the same apartments, the Oakwoods, and he was recording at the same studio. Could it be another sign? I don't believe in coinkydinks.

• 7:13Griffin McElroy?

  From Jehovah? Does he say coinkydinks?

• 7:16Travis McElroy?

  He does.

• 7:17Griffin McElroy?

  Get out.

• 7:19Travis McElroy?

  Travis is imagining a far flung future where Eminem is an old man doing his retrospective. I'm saying the future is now. We're living it. Brought us closer to each other, we did the fuck off track, and we never got the fuck off track. We both from the D, and I never forgot that. So when you see. The dick?

• 7:39Griffin McElroy?

  It kind of seems like in that little bit, he remembered that he was supposed to be doing a rap verse. He was like, I should probably say something rap like.

• 7:46Travis McElroy?

  Is he saying like we started off as sperm from the dick? Yes. So I never forgot that. So when you see someone like me having Rock's back, cause both of us be off our rockers, how far back we go, cause if we were tipping over, RIP to Joe to the C.

• 8:04Griffin McElroy?

  Holy fuck.

• 8:05Travis McElroy?

  From shocker rap.

• 8:06Griffin McElroy?

  Shit.

• 8:07Travis McElroy?

  Holy. To the rock rap, my homie and me, he's my brother, not my political enemy.

• 8:12Griffin McElroy?

  Huh.

• 8:13Travis McElroy?

  Beat, here's where, here's where it really, we are, he is, by the way, still explaining why he did this song.

• 8:22Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 8:23Travis McElroy?

  Like he's still explaining it. B O to the B, that's Bob, who's Kid Rock. We wrote this song for those who believe in G O to the D, however you voted or lean, the brawl and evangelical can agree.

• 8:42Travis McElroy?

  What can we agree on? And I think we can all, anybody listen to this or not listen to this, basically everybody. It's God first, home of the free, St. Joseph to the VA, shout out to Nashville, good old Tennessee. So we can all.

• 8:55Griffin McElroy?

  Those four things, those four things.

• 8:57Travis McElroy?

  Those four things, God first, home of the free, St. Joseph to the VA, shout out to Nashville, good old Tennessee. But don't need a Bible, if I can just finish, but don't need a Bible belt to turn the devil over my knee.

• 9:09Griffin McElroy?

  Awesome.

• 9:10Travis McElroy?

  And then we hit the chorus again.

• 9:12Griffin McElroy?

  He finishes straight, he always finishes so strong.

• 9:15Travis McElroy?

  What a wild time to make such a, that's a bold declaration of alliance. To one such as Mr. To look around yourself and be like, you know, this is the time to plant my flag.

• 9:32Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 9:33Travis McElroy?

  Of saying, this man is not my political enemy.

• 9:38Griffin McElroy?

  This may be a life debt. Valar Margulis situation where at some point Kid Rock stepped in to help Eminem out of a tricky scrape. And he gave him a token, a copper token with his own face on it.

• 9:53Travis McElroy?

  This all happened, he described it literally in the song.

• 9:56Griffin McElroy?

  It all happened.

• 9:57Travis McElroy?

  You don't have to theorize, he literally went beat by beat, did his diary entries for all the

• 10:02Griffin McElroy?

  They were living in the same apartments and recording in the same studio, which was a sign from Jehovah. And he gave him a token.

• 10:09Travis McElroy?

  It ain't a quinkydink.

• 10:10Griffin McElroy?

  It ain't a quinkydink. It gave him a copper token and he said, I will come to you and I'll demand this token back and you will then owe me one favor. And that will be to lay down one of the most sort of tracks, one of the most eh verses in music history.

• 10:27Travis McElroy?

  I want to take you guys back to, I believe it was 2012. We were performing our first live show, Second City, Chicago.

• 10:36Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 10:37Travis McElroy?

  Uh, opening for Jordan Jesse Go. Can you imagine looking out in the crowd and seeing Kid Rock there?

• 10:44Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 10:44Travis McElroy?

  And thinking, well, this is a sign from Jesus.

• 10:47Griffin McElroy?

  This is definitely gonna be a Jesus sign.

• 10:50Travis McElroy?

  I'm using, I'm using my humble servant Bob.

• 10:54Griffin McElroy?

  B, oh, do you mean B O to the B?

• 10:56Travis McElroy?

  Do you mean B O to the B, Bob?

• 10:58Griffin McElroy?

  Do you think Marshall wishes his name had more fucking letters in it? Just so it would be kind of like more fun and interesting to rap through. I can't believe this is where we get the Josie dedication track. We've all been waiting on the Josie dedication track from, from anyone really. And I can't believe this is where we get it in the middle of Heal My Faith?

• 11:19Travis McElroy?

  Heal My Faith is a wild thing. That's not how faith work, like if God, I don't want to get on this soapbox for a moment.

• 11:28Griffin McElroy?

  No, do it. We, we earned this.

• 11:30Travis McElroy?

  If God shows up, if God fixes your faith, that stops being faith at that point, right?

• 11:37Griffin McElroy?

  Faith, yeah. Not, not since Suck My Kiss has a verb, my noun been so confusing to me.

• 11:45Travis McElroy?

  Hit my bull and suck my kiss. Uh, new on the track together. I said I wasn't gonna play the song, but um, I did need to show you the outro from the lyric video because they, they just show you the lyrics around the screen. So it actually saves a lot of trouble for me.

• 12:00Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, okay, good.

• 12:01Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. And I'll just like, you guys will want to hear, this isn't even really singing.

• 12:29Griffin McElroy?

  Okay. Can you read those lyrics aloud just in case our better angels decide we can't?

• 12:34Travis McElroy?

  Now that I have your attention, I love Eminem. We've been friends for um, many years. And then Eminem is in the background. He says, two white boys who spike punch and light joints. Thank you, Marshall. Thinking differently, I like to think that like perhaps Bob turned over his shoulder. Thank you, Marshall for that addition. I appreciate that. It is true. We're two white boys who spike punch and light joints. Thinking differently and having the freedom to do so is what makes this country great. God bless the USA.

• 13:06Griffin McElroy?

  Awesome dude.

• 13:07Travis McElroy?

  That's the American badass. Okay. This is my childhood. All right. This guy is my whole child. The rebel without a cause. He's going platinum. This guy was a, he was a bad boy. Remember?

• 13:21Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 13:22Travis McElroy?

  He was a bad dude.

• 13:23Griffin McElroy?

  The baddest dude, baddest dude for sure. And his faith is sick. And we were all thinking.

• 13:30Travis McElroy?

  This is a GoFundMe to heal his faith. Why does God have something to show Kid Rock? I feel like Kid's whole thing should be like, God, I got a lot of makeup to you. Forget healing my faith. I have, I have really turned my back on you. I gotta get back to you. To me, the B to the O to the B, that perhaps you God have lost faith in me. Please allow me to heal your faith.

• 13:55Griffin McElroy?

  I have to say of this entire project, the most perplexing thing to me is Marshall's constant interjections of fuck off in the background. Because I think that's gonna stop it from getting radio play. It's gonna stop it from ending up in church commercials, if such a thing exists. I think that people are gonna have a hard time not putting this in a secular column because of the, the, the profanity of this faith.

• 14:23Travis McElroy?

  It's just not gonna get onto, for example, W E M M, the local AM Christian music station. I don't think, unless there's a censored version. And then a censored version of a Christian song does beg the question. I mean, what are we doing here, kid? Maybe it's a self fulfilling prophecy of like, and to illustrate how our faith needs to be healed, fuck off.

• 14:47Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, cool. Yeah. Maybe, maybe it's an exorcism, a live exorcism that's happening in the background of the track on Marshall. M, what are you doing, partner?

• 14:58Travis McElroy?

  This, the statement from Bob Rock at the end here.

• 15:03Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 15:03Travis McElroy?

  Um, when he says, think differently, makes me think, imagine three people in a conversation and one person says, I really enjoyed the Batman starring Robert Pattinson. I thought it was a good Batman. And the next person says, I did not enjoy the Batman film starring Robert Pattinson. And the third person says, I believe that people should be arrested for existing and should die because of who they are. And the first two look at him and then he says, yeah, being able to think differently is what makes the country great.

• 15:35Griffin McElroy?

  Hey, it was a different thought from what the two of you had. And Bob Rock says, that's great. Bob Rock loves that.

• 15:44Travis McElroy?

  Who, who is the most likely, I've been thinking about who, if this bit is to continue, it would require some other notable Detroit performer to suck harder than this song sucks. Is Ted Nugent a Detroit boy? You can't just guess at people that suck and hope for they're from Detroit. You gotta start from Detroit and look for people that suck. Now, they can't suck up front is the other thing. There has to be a heartbreak in there. Like, oh.

• 16:12Griffin McElroy?

  I mean, I don't know that we've had a lot of Motown representation in this, in this segment.

• 16:18Travis McElroy?

  True. And this is gonna continue to be a space where I do not rag on Motown artists. This is gonna be a place where I stick to some of the white entertainers that I am so much more comfortable.

• 16:30Griffin McElroy?

  Comes out with a track where he's like, I've got a fucking uh, AI Herman Cain in the background. Like, you don't think that that deserves a spot in Detroit?

• 16:45Travis McElroy?

  Here's what I'm hoping for. It's the Superbowl cut to ads, right? Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. And you see Jack White and he's like, now I'm into a One Nation Army.

• 16:59Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 16:59Travis McElroy?

  The American white nationalist. I'm Jack White nationalist. Please join the One Nation American Army.

• 17:07Griffin McElroy?

  Fuck dude. You can't actually.

• 17:09Travis McElroy?

  Now I feel bad because I don't know Jack White's politics enough to have given that.

• 17:14Griffin McElroy?

  I'm pretty sure not that.

• 17:15Travis McElroy?

  I'm pretty sure it's not One Nation Army presented by Jack White. Yeah, but I feel bad because it's such a good play of words.

• 17:24Griffin McElroy?

  Like, I bet they would love to co-op that if you would just.

• 17:27Travis McElroy?

  They'd love to get on it.

• 17:28Griffin McElroy?

  A little bit of daylight and people would just absolutely weasel their way in there for sure.

• 17:33Travis McElroy?

  I mean, you got the Stooges, that's a possibility. Uh, if Iggy Pop wanted to, wanted to uh, do something truly disappointing.

• 17:42Griffin McElroy?

  Not out of the quest, not out of the question.

• 17:44Travis McElroy?

  The Temptations and Supremes and Spinners and stuff like, I don't think any of those are the same people. So I don't think, I think they get whatever they can, they can kind of scramble out.

• 17:54Griffin McElroy?

  Is Alice Cooper still with us? Is Alice Cooper still with us?

• 17:57Travis McElroy?

  Cooper is from Milliwake, which in Algoquin means the great land.

• 18:01Griffin McElroy?

  He was born in Detroit, Michigan, according to the Wikipedia article I just pulled up.

• 18:05Travis McElroy?

  I believe he's been visited.

• 18:07Griffin McElroy?

  You're just quoting the Wayne's World.

• 18:09Travis McElroy?

  Wayne, go to the great Wayne's World movie. Yeah. Alice Cooper, school's out for summer. Maybe, maybe uh, some sort of, I don't know. It wouldn't need to be political. It just needs to suck. Cause there's nothing political about Reach for the Stars, except for the fact that it says you're just like Elon Musk, I guess.

• 18:28Griffin McElroy?

  I would say the only political thing about it is that he proudly compares himself to a conservative firebrand Elon Musk.

• 18:36Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, that's the only stinker about it. Uh, okay. Jack White or, or uh.

• 18:41Griffin McElroy?

  Or Alice Cooper.

• 18:42Travis McElroy?

  Alice Cooper. I guess the hunt, the race is on.

• 18:46Griffin McElroy?

  The race to the bottom.

• 18:48Travis McElroy?

  Sorry, it does say here on the internet, the goober and the peas also is another option there. So we got that going for us. Uh, this is an advice show. My advice to Marshall Mather is just check the lyrics before you agree to the gig. That would be my whole thing. But my advice to uh, Bean bragging in Boston. Well, let me tell you, first I gotta tell you the question. It's the whole.

• 19:10Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 19:11Travis McElroy?

  I was at the park with my daughter and there was a game of cornhole set up on the lawn. I've always been too afraid to try cornhole because it is an outdoor athletic game and I'm an indoor athletic guy. It turns out I'm actually amazing at cornhole. I was sinking shot after shot after shot. And wow, this person. Did put three after shot after shot after shot. So they really wanted me to know that like

• 19:37Griffin McElroy?

  A triple dunker?

• 19:38Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, they were sinking them like wild. And don't get me wrong. It seems so easy. You think they'd make you stand far away from the

• 19:45Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I was gonna say, if you've never played, you do not know the regulation.

• 19:49Travis McElroy?

  It's both those grand prize game rules. You start right next to it and then you take one step back with every score. Um, I was thinking shot or shot. The only person to appreciate my newfound talent was an unimpressed three year old. Uh, only kind there is. Brothers, how do I find ways to casually display my cornhole prowess and impress? Other adults. That's from Bean bragging in Boston.

• 20:12Griffin McElroy?

  Um, first of all, the idea that cornhole is an outdoor athletic activity is not true, not true at all. It's not difficult. You don't have to throw a cornhole bag forty yards.

• 20:28Travis McElroy?

  Strictly athletic. It is an athletic competition. I think versus chess or rum a cub. It's an athletic contest that is takes place outdoors.

• 20:38Griffin McElroy?

  Compared against any game that involves moving legs.

• 20:42Travis McElroy?

  Well, sure. Oh, sure.

• 20:44Griffin McElroy?

  Or cardio or strength kind of at all. It's just a coordination sort of.

• 20:49Travis McElroy?

  But that's athletic. That's athletics. You can train at it physically to get better. You can't train physically at chess to get better. I think what you're trying to say, Griffin, and it's true, is that it's easy. The guys, cornhole is easy. That's the whole point. If you miss that cornhole, it will above the hole, it will slide down into a hole. This is a game that wants you to do well. The whole game of cornhole is people have to drink so much to make it difficult. To not sink the thing. That's why so many people like cornhole, because it's very easy to do.

• 21:23Griffin McElroy?

  I guess I'm just saying, cornhole doesn't make you tired or stronger. That is what my.

• 21:27Travis McElroy?

  So you wanted to pull, I give you so much out.

• 21:31Griffin McElroy?

  I just feel like I was right. I feel like I was super right on that.

• 21:33Travis McElroy?

  You're not right, though, Griffin. I wish that there was a shorter word for not right, but you're, it's like, the thing is, Griffin. I'm not saying it's the most athletic of things, but on a scale.

• 21:47Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 21:48Travis McElroy?

  Right?

• 21:48Griffin McElroy?

  Compared to chess, it's, it is an athletic.

• 21:51Travis McElroy?

  It is. God almighty. Now, I will say, I've been in a position where a cornhole game is getting fired up, is getting going. Okay. And people are like, Travis, come play. And I can gauge that the three other participants are far more engaged, not even too good, just engaged and care about it to a degree I simply do not. Yeah, Travis would prefer that it be his choice to be bad at it. I don't want to participate in this.

• 22:18Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 22:19Travis McElroy?

  With any expectations on me whatsoever.

• 22:21Griffin McElroy?

  This is a tragedy, a modern tragedy, and perhaps another symptom of the male loneliness epidemic. And I know that that's fallen out of fashion to talk about the male loneliness epidemic, because we're really bringing this thing on ourselves, aren't we, fellas? But I am pretty good at some.

• 22:37Travis McElroy?

  They also hang out with us. I mean, it's right there in the name. Nobody wants to be around us. It's not our fault we're lonely. If only there was a way to explain why.

• 22:46Griffin McElroy?

  There is no way. It's a total.

• 22:47Travis McElroy?

  Cause it's an epidemic.

• 22:49Griffin McElroy?

  It's an epidemic. You can't fight it. There's no vaccine for it, Travis.

• 22:53Travis McElroy?

  And we tried to isolate to stop it.

• 22:56Griffin McElroy?

  We tried.

• 22:56Travis McElroy?

  It's spreading.

• 22:57Griffin McElroy?

  Made it worse.

• 22:58Travis McElroy?

  The, the, the antidote was supposed to be pickleball. It didn't, it wasn't enough. No. Get enough.

• 23:04Griffin McElroy?

  My senior year of college, I was fresh out of a, a long-term relationship and I spent basically that whole year with Trav and our buds, Bob and Bradbury and a bunch of folks playing beer pong every night. And I got really good at it and I had a lot of fun doing it because it's a fun game to throw ping pong balls in cups. It's universally really very fun. And then I graduated college and then I never, I don't think played it really ever again, because then I didn't have the, the, the squad to do it. This is a, this, I feel like this is a really common thing of just like, I flip cups so fucking good. And I have no opportunity to exhibit that skill for anyone.

• 23:46Travis McElroy?

  I got so good at slamming a Miller High Life, the champagne of beers in a count of three to beat people at drinking games. That's not something I can put on a resume now.

• 23:56Griffin McElroy?

  No, or do now, or you'll die.

• 23:59Travis McElroy?

  Oh, no. Yeah, no, no, no, no.

• 24:00Griffin McElroy?

  One of us would die if we slammed a Miller High Life in not even three seconds. If we, if we nursed it over a half hour period.

• 24:07Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, no, no, no. I have a beer now and develop a headache forty-five minutes later.

• 24:11Griffin McElroy?

  Um, yeah, I, I, we need to, there needs to be a third space where we can come and we can play these tailgate activity games without the expectation that we're going to go to a football game afterwards, or that we're going to eat a bunch of chicken wings. If you want to eat chicken wings, you can, but it's, these things are so intrinsically linked and just because I'm not a fan of one of them, that means I don't get to play cornhole. That kind of sucks.

• 24:35Travis McElroy?

  Is it possible? Question asker. That you are good at it until this is a quantum skill, right? Good at it until observed. Because like, this was outside of regulation scoring.

• 24:51Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 24:51Travis McElroy?

  There was no mental games being played by the opposition.

• 24:56Griffin McElroy?

  There's no deep, no defensive sort of bag placements that your three-year-old was putting up for sure.

• 25:01Travis McElroy?

  Right. I would not, I'm not saying to discount your skill level, but I'm saying that you need further testing.

• 25:09Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 25:09Travis McElroy?

  Before you're ready to, uh, debut this publicly. Yeah. Hey, brief question, guys. I, because I'm trying to figure out how to deal with it. During that last sentence, Trav was saying, I had too much of a coffee drink and I spilled some on my shirt. And I was trying to think about, the first thing I think is, well, is that going to be in the video?

• 25:31Griffin McElroy?

  Are they gonna see? They will. Yeah, for sure.

• 25:32Travis McElroy?

  And then I think, maybe I should say, like, don't put that in the video. But if I say that out loud, right?

• 25:39Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 25:40Travis McElroy?

  Then it's almost definitely, they have to, like, like by nature, put that in the video.

• 25:44Griffin McElroy?

  And here's why.

• 25:45Travis McElroy?

  Should I try to do like a silent, kind of like? People listening at home, Justin didn't really spill his coffee. This is a psyop that he's doing. No, I don't want to make people feel like they're missing something. This is not a visually interesting segment.

• 25:59Griffin McElroy?

  They're missing you making a big spill on your chest.

• 26:01Travis McElroy?

  A whoopsie doodle.

• 26:02Griffin McElroy?

  A whoopsie, a classic whoopsie doodle.

• 26:04Travis McElroy?

  Maybe we should just out of an interest, like, just out of fairness, continue to release all of our best spills.

• 26:13Travis McElroy?

  We shouldn't keep those to ourselves, like all the best.

• 26:16Griffin McElroy?

  Hooked. That'll get people, not all our best spills, because then there's no reason to become a member on YouTube.

• 26:22Travis McElroy?

  Too wet for TV kind of deal. You know what I mean? I have no other place to, I don't have a journal. I don't have a diary that I write stuff into, but I did want to, I have no other place to put things other than my brother, my brother and me. So like if I hear an Eminem song, I, I just wanted to tell you guys real quick, when I was flying home from New York after the Bestie Show, thank you if you came, uh, we're.

• 26:43Griffin McElroy?

  So much fun.

• 26:44Travis McElroy?

  It, as I'm sitting there, um, people are boarding the plane and I see a father and his son. And the son's probably like five and the, and it looks like in, in my headcanon, this is kid's first flight. And the dad's pointing at the seats as they're looking at their tickets. And the dad points over to the right. Uh, and he said, uh, it looks like those over there are the ABs. And then he points like literally directly over my head and says, and, uh, those are the CDs. And he looked and he, I swear to God, it felt like time stopped.

• 27:18Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 27:19Travis McElroy?

  It felt like time stopped. And guys, there were two wolves. Sincerely did not think there would be, not a bit. But I had two wolves in my head who's like, dude, if this hits. If this hits.

• 27:33Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 27:34Travis McElroy?

  It would be, just so there's no suspense, I don't, because I don't want you to get like excited, but I was like, it felt like this dude was fucking daring me to drop a CD's nuts on him.

• 27:45Griffin McElroy?

  I, yeah, I don't know what age you can do that in front of a child. It ain't five. That's too young.

• 27:51Travis McElroy?

  Five, right? I made the right choice. He's, he's in bad taste for setting it up like that.

• 27:56Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 27:57Travis McElroy?

  Like, it's easy.

• 27:57Griffin McElroy?

  He's set up a real huddy pot for you.

• 27:59Travis McElroy?

  This is where I believe in like, uh, non, uh, you know, like telepathy, but not really. Where like, there is a look that you could give this man that would convey.

• 28:12Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 28:12Travis McElroy?

  You saying.

• 28:14Griffin McElroy?

  I got you.

• 28:14Travis McElroy?

  It would, I got it. It would maybe attempt to relate CD's nuts.

• 28:19Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 28:20Travis McElroy?

  But I'm not sure. There's like an eighty percent chance it might hit. There's a twenty percent chance where he's like, I'm gonna get somebody over here. This guy's not okay. This guy needs help. He's just staring at me and doing his waggly eyebrow thing. I think this man's having an episode. As, as long as we're sharing our diary entries, I had the thought the other day, what do you guys think cocaine smells like?

• 28:43Griffin McElroy?

  Wow, that's cool. You absolutely can't, no, no. You can't bring your shit and then poo poo Travis's shit.

• 28:49Travis McElroy?

  Thing is Travis's, this is Travis's like, he doesn't even do the preamble. He'll just drop it under nowhere.

• 28:56Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah. I mean, do you think it all smells the same? Or do you think that there's like stinky cocaine? Like.

• 29:01Travis McElroy?

  I'm saying like, I've never done it, but is there somebody who has sniffed cocaine and been like, man, I wish this didn't smell so bad.

• 29:08Griffin McElroy?

  You.

• 29:09Travis McElroy?

  I love cocaine, but I hate the smell.

• 29:11Griffin McElroy?

  Crazy and strong and hyper as hell, but the smell is so, it smell is so bad. Can I eat it? Can I just eat the stuff?

• 29:19Travis McElroy?

  Has anyone ever tried dealing different sense of cocaine?

• 29:23Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, that's cool. That's awesome.

• 29:25Travis McElroy?

  I think I'm well past. This is lavender cocaine. I think I'm well past the point where anyone's gonna feel bad for me if, if I'm one of those people that their heart explodes the first time they try cocaine. Like if I wait to forty-five and I'm like, yeah, one, two, my heart explodes. I think it's past the point where people be like, dear God, what a tragedy. I think it would be more like, he was forty-five. What the fuck was he thinking?

• 29:49Griffin McElroy?

  Fuck.

• 29:49Travis McElroy?

  What's wrong with him?

• 29:53Travis McElroy?

  He knows better than that. Uh, let's take a quick break. Let's go to the money zone and then we'll come back and help some more folks, maybe.

• 30:08Travis McElroy?

  Hey guys, can I tell you? Yeah. I'm so excited. I got some Quince clothes. Oh, what you got?

• 30:15Griffin McElroy?

  What'd you get?

• 30:16Travis McElroy?

  What'd you get? Well, here's the thing. I was thinking, like, I look at Griffin and I'm like, there's a preppy jock. Oh, yeah. Who, of course, loves Quince, because they probably just have preppy jock clothes. You know what I mean? But no, I got myself a black cashmere v-neck sweater. And some, like, dark gray and black jeans. And like a slate gray, kind of like polyester pant that I can wear to all the cool kids, like, we're hanging out under the bleachers and smoking cloves, kind of parties that I go to.

• 30:48Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 30:49Travis McElroy?

  You know what I mean? And still feel fully accepted. And these pants are comfortable, they fit great, they look great. And I am a big fan. It's not just for preppy jock kids like Griffin.

• 31:01Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 31:02Travis McElroy?

  Or like, uh, kind of cool vacation kids like Justin. It's also for cool-

• 31:07Griffin McElroy?

  I don't know why Justin's was like accurate and mine was like, obviously a ju- like, kind of a joke.

• 31:13Travis McElroy?

  Well, two jokes doesn't make any sense. Like, if you do one joke and one's serious, then one's a joke. I was a joke. You guys don't think of Griffin as a preppy jock?

• 31:21Griffin McElroy?

  I don't think of me as a preppy jock at all.

• 31:23Travis McElroy?

  I see you as really like Emilio Estevez from Breakfast Club to like my John Nelson.

• 31:29Griffin McElroy?

  I do like to super glue people's butt cheeks together.

• 31:34Travis McElroy?

  I have to say, Griffin looks like, um, Griffin just is like the one guy in the movie who knows how the internet works.

• 31:41Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 31:42Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, the computer who wore tennis shoes with Kirk Cameron.

• 31:45Travis McElroy?

  Um, but Quince has a wide range of styles, not just clothes also. There's other stuff, kind of everything. Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was My Brother, My Brother and Me. This podcast, it's the only way we keep the lights on.

• 32:15Griffin McElroy?

  Uh, hey, I want to tell everybody about Wayfair. You might know about Wayfair already, because we've talked about them before in the past.

• 32:22Travis McElroy?

  And you probably think it's just for preppy jocks.

• 32:24Griffin McElroy?

  Stop it. This is one of those things that we advertise sometimes that just feels like the obvious best way to do-

• 32:32Travis McElroy?

  The stoppage sounded like Griffin and I were in church choir together and I was like flicking his ear during a performance.

• 32:38Griffin McElroy?

  From across state lines, I slapped Travis's thigh as hard as I could. Um, if you have a space where you need a very specific piece of furniture and you need it to be, you know, uh, an exact color and an exact sort of set of dimensions. Good luck just going around town and trying to find a place that's going to have that thing that's going to cater to your very specific needs. Uh, because it can't be done. What you need is a sort of all in one provider of furniture like Wayfair. Not like Wayfair, just do, just do Wayfair. Uh, I have used them so many times, uh, because I will say like, ah, damn, I have exactly 60 inches of wall space. I need to fit a couch in and I wanted to use as much of it as possible.

• 33:21Griffin McElroy?

  Bam, I'll find a 60 inch couch on Wayfair, no fucking problem, dudes. Uh, I, this shelf, I need it to be an exact height and width. Bam, went on Wayfair, found it, no problem. Uh, I've probably half a dozen things in my office are all Wayfair jams. What's that juice?

• 33:36Travis McElroy?

  This is a Wayfair piece I just found right here, guys. You may be thinking they don't have a cabinet that looks like a huge Nintendo Switch, but they actually do. You can totally go there and get that and it's wild. I love that. Isn't that wild? Something else.

• 33:51Griffin McElroy?

  I do too. Uh, find pieces made for real life and get even more value with Wayfair Rewards. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase. Head to wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W A Y F A I R dot com.

• 34:10Speaker 04

  Pokemon, Insecure, Love Island, Paramore. What do all these things have in common? Black people love them. That's where Black People Love Paramore comes in. We're a pop culture podcast, taking a funny look at the common and sometimes very uncommon things black people love. From asking why so many black kids were secretly emo, to debating whether Beyonce is underrated. Hint, she is. We're getting into all the things that make us feel a little bit more seen. Get it? And yes, everybody's invited, no matter your niche, we have room for you. Listen to Black People Love Paramore on MaximumFun.org and wherever you get your podcasts.

• 34:54Speaker 05

  Hello? Hello, I'm calling on behalf of the Beef and Dairy Network Podcast. No, I'm sorry, no sales calls, goodbye. It's a multi-award winning podcast featuring guests such as Ted Danson, Nick Offerman, Josie Long. I don't know what a Josie Long is, and anyway, I'm about to take my mother into town to see Phantom of the Opera at last. You are wasting my time and even worse, my mother's time. She only has so much time left. She's 98 years old, she's only expected to live for another 20 or 30 years. Mother, get your shoes on. Yes, the orthopedic ones, I don't want that to carry you home again, do I? Right, well, if you were looking for a podcast- Mother, you're not wearing that, are you? It's very revealing, mother. This is musical theater, not a Parisian bordello. Simply go to MaximumFun.org. I'm reaching for my Samsung Galaxy 4 as we speak. Mother, mother, not that hat.

• 35:39Travis McElroy?

  Hey guys, I know that sometimes, uh, we hear that My Brother, My Brother and Me, we just talk a lot about like our show and everything. So I thought this would be a fun chance for everyone to play along at home.

• 35:50Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, alright. Awesome, we haven't done this in a bit. Justin, can you get rid of the image of the big-

• 35:55Travis McElroy?

  Make it bigger, you got it.

• 35:57Griffin McElroy?

  No, I don't want to see the Nintendo Switch cabinet anymore, it looks cool, but I just think I'm getting so jealous.

• 36:02Travis McElroy?

  Enhance, enhance.

• 36:05Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, yeah.

• 36:05Travis McElroy?

  Hello Kitty, not included.

• 36:07Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, no, that's great. Can you get, uh, can you make it go away? Thank you.

• 36:12Travis McElroy?

  Um, and so I really actually only have one question for this play along at home.

• 36:17Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, really?

• 36:17Travis McElroy?

  Um, yeah, Justin and Griffin, top of your heads, what episode number is this?

• 36:21Griffin McElroy?

  Fucking A, that's a cool game. Eight, it's definitely 800 and 20.

• 36:27Travis McElroy?

  Eight, 20.

• 36:28Griffin McElroy?

  Is this the reason you didn't put the episode number in the email title? Usually Travis will say like, here comes 827, babies, get ready for it.

• 36:34Travis McElroy?

  I want to say, I'm actually gonna get out here and say 834.

• 36:38Griffin McElroy?

  834 is a good guess. I don't think we've hit the 830s yet. I think this is 829.

• 36:44Travis McElroy?

  Okay, it is eight thirty six.

• 36:50Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, yeah! Pretty close, Juice.

• 36:52Travis McElroy?

  Oh no, sorry, 837, even I was wrong.

• 36:54Griffin McElroy?

  That's fucking great, Travis, that couldn't have gone any better, man.

• 36:58Travis McElroy?

  This is our life's work. Even I was wrong.

• 37:01Griffin McElroy?

  Do you think the audience knows? Do you think the audience-

• 37:03Travis McElroy?

  I bet they know better than we do.

• 37:05Griffin McElroy?

  I mean, they probably just looked at their, you know, the console of their automobile and it probably said it right there.

• 37:10Travis McElroy?

  I wish to God we hadn't numbered them. I really regret it. I genuinely do. There's just nothing it communicates other than you've arrived too late. The only thing that you can derive from the number is, this is long, long, long over. Like you, this is hundreds of episodes. There's, you could glean nothing from this, it would be inscrutable. That's the only thing I get from the number. It also denotes the monotonous and unstoppable passage of time.

• 37:38Griffin McElroy?

  Uh, yeah, that's a good point too. What if we labeled every episode, episode one? And then people always felt like, it's a great time, it's a great time to get on board.

• 37:46Travis McElroy?

  If we started with episode one, if, if, if we went to a thousand and then it's season two, we would turn over. Yeah, it's like, there we go, they do thousands of seasons.

• 37:58Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, the pedometer only has three digits in it. So when you hit 999, your next one is 001 again.

• 38:07Travis McElroy?

  We could start doing it like, now this is version 1.2, right? We start- The numbers imply that I, that there is a end of the show. Like, there's not an end, it's literally just us talking to each other. We should have started counting down. We should, the first episode should have been a thousand and then the next episode is 999. And then the next episode- And what are they counting down to? They don't know, nobody knows.

• 38:31Griffin McElroy?

  How about a question?

• 38:32Travis McElroy?

  I got it for you right here, man.

• 38:35Travis McElroy?

  About a year ago, I made a sock puppet for my son on a whim. My son has- Your son is a sock puppet? I used an old wizard's incantation and made my son a sock puppet. It's the Crypt Keeper all of a sudden.

• 38:48Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, cool.

• 38:49Travis McElroy?

  My son has since requested Mr. Puppet on the regular since its creation. This can help with many hurdles, i.e. brushing teeth, picking up toys, et cetera. And I found myself frequently leaving our home with Mr. Puppet due to his popularity with my kiddo. Brothers, since this sock puppet now seems to be a fixture in my life, how can I make Mr. Puppet look cooler? And an intentional accessory instead of a child's sock with poorly sewn googly eyes? That's from Muppet Mayhem in Moko, Maryland. Well, let me answer this in two ways. One, I guarantee we have some people that could give a good answer to this. So please, if you've got some great sock puppet tips, write into the show.

• 39:33Travis McElroy?

  This can be a place for learning and growing.

• 39:35Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 39:35Travis McElroy?

  Um, but we have to make do with what we have here. What was the second answer? What was the second? Whatever happens now. Okay, great.

• 39:45Griffin McElroy?

  You need, I, it helps to have some sort of internal rigidity, whether it's like a tennis ball that you've cut a little thing in or what?

• 39:54Travis McElroy?

  Internal rigidity. Nice. Yeah, you don't want a flaccid sock puppet.

• 39:59Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, it's got weird. I was trying to provide like a, I was trying to do like a help. This is a sock puppet for a child. And so I guess I wasn't.

• 40:08Travis McElroy?

  Well, we have to move past that, obviously, Griffin.

• 40:11Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 40:11Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, he's got to have a broader appeal, right? If you see a child sock puppet, it's like, whatever. If you see him like a pickle Rick. Yeah. You're like, oh, that's kind of funny. Maybe I could get into that, too. I don't do a mustache because then you're just gonna be fiddling the whole time, making sure it's in the exact right spot above where your hand is. And you know, what you don't want is like you are gonna, you know, dress up, do some fixtures additions. And then your son's like, that's not my Mr. Puppet, right? Like. He's too, I don't like it any, man. I mean, maybe that would prepare him for how a lot of the media properties from his childhood are gonna be treated in the ages, you know?

• 40:51Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 40:51Travis McElroy?

  Sorry, Mr. Puppet's like a dark gritty, so like. Yeah. Long, black hair hanging over his eyes. He's just a downtempo dude now.

• 41:00Griffin McElroy?

  What's everyone's favorite?

• 41:01Travis McElroy?

  This is live action, Mr. Puppet.

• 41:05Griffin McElroy?

  What's everyone's favorite Muppets?

• 41:07Travis McElroy?

  Of course, we got Cook.

• 41:09Griffin McElroy?

  Huh?

• 41:09Travis McElroy?

  Lou Zealand.

• 41:10Griffin McElroy?

  Lou Zealand, okay. So this one, sorry.

• 41:12Travis McElroy?

  Throw the visual away and come right back.

• 41:13Griffin McElroy?

  We talked about this pretty recently. I know, I know. But I need to do like a better job of like, when I'm asking a question that I don't want an answer to, like a rhetorical question, I guess. So this is a rhetorical que- what follows is a rhetorical question. What's everyone's favorite Muppets? Of course, we have Cookie Monster, we have Swedish Chef, we have Mr. Snuffleupagus. What do these Muppets have in common? They are all piloted by at least two people. So is if there's an opportunity here to have an assistant puppeteer, maybe doing the arm, maybe doing the hands, maybe you attach two socks to the sides and then those are the hands.

• 41:46Travis McElroy?

  Maybe one of you is Mr. Sock, the other one is his living scorpion tail. Just a scorpion's tail that like hangs behind him and can strike, you know, at passersby.

• 41:57Griffin McElroy?

  I'll tell you what not to do is to give him legs and have those legs move around. Cause every time I see, every time I see Kermit ambulating in like Muppet Christmas Carol, it sucks, it sucks every time. No one should.

• 42:09Travis McElroy?

  It's like the spooky scary skeletons kind of.

• 42:11Griffin McElroy?

  It does have a very like. Yeah, it's no good.

• 42:15Travis McElroy?

  What about when he rides the bike? Do you like that?

• 42:17Griffin McElroy?

  When he rides a bike? No, absolutely not. I guess, I just don't want to see his legs doing anything. I want to see them crossed over a log.

• 42:23Travis McElroy?

  I like it as a technical. Technical achievement. I like it as a technical feat.

• 42:27Griffin McElroy?

  It's a technical achievement. I only want to see his legs crossed over a log, supporting a banjo. That's the only thing I need from him.

• 42:33Travis McElroy?

  Or behind a desk. Give Mr. Puppet some new storylines.

• 42:37Griffin McElroy?

  Mr. Puppet new storylines, like what?

• 42:38Travis McElroy?

  Like a love interest or a rival.

• 42:41Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 42:42Travis McElroy?

  Um, maybe like an evil twin. There's just no, I don't feel like there is a way to build a storyline that doesn't result in you having fewer hands to do stuff with. You know, like if you add any other characters, it's definitely gonna be on your left hand. So, or your right. Hire an actor. Like, maybe the love interest is a human being that you've hired to play the love interest. If I'm hiring somebody, I think I'll hire all pair to take care of the kid. You know what I mean? If I'm staffing. All pair of socks?

• 43:15Griffin McElroy?

  Man, I had so much I wanted to talk about the sock puppet having a human love interest, but now it feels like we've moved on to other stuff. I love that Sonic 06 energy. I think it's huge. And I think it's, I think your kid's gonna learn a lot from it. But it's too late. Now Travis made a two kick ass of a joke.

• 43:32Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 43:32Griffin McElroy?

  We can't go back.

• 43:33Travis McElroy?

  Sucks. There's a Krispy Kreme a block away from my work that I will sometimes go to for a lunchtime indulgence. About of one out of four times, I walk in and one of the bakers is handing out free donuts, fresh off the belt. It is a completely unpredictable and random interval. My problem, I just, how do I know our listeners that I see that and I know with 100% certainty, it's gonna be, it's this random magical thing. How can I control?

• 44:00Griffin McElroy?

  How can I have it?

• 44:01Travis McElroy?

  How can I wrestle it down to the ground and make it my own? The problem is, I only want one donut. It feels wrong accepting a free donut and then leaving without buying anything. I always end up spending all day. There's video now they can see me making a face. I always end up spending money buying another donut anyway to avoid looking like a rude fool. Brothers, what do I do? That's from Krispy Kreme conundrum in the DMV.

• 44:25Griffin McElroy?

  A lot of DMV representation.

• 44:27Travis McElroy?

  Unless something has recently changed with Krispy Kreme policy, I don't think employees get commission.

• 44:36Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 44:37Travis McElroy?

  Off of sold donuts.

• 44:39Griffin McElroy?

  No, that's true. And yeah, I suppose that anyone working at the Krispy Kreme register is not gonna raise a stink.

• 44:47Travis McElroy?

  But it's also not like a big fucking chill out tent for life where you can come in and just like, take a load off and snack on a donut, then get back out there. Well, but it's not their business, right? Krispy Kreme decided to have a policy of like, the red light's on, here's a free donut. And they weren't like, maybe we should also make them buy something in order to get that. This is a loophole in the system, baby. You gotta work it. Completely, this says completely unpredictable. So if, I think if the light being on is an indicator, then this is not unpredictable. Then it's like, we're, we're planning it out.

• 45:25Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 45:26Travis McElroy?

  So you're worried about going in.

• 45:29Griffin McElroy?

  It sounds like they have a system. They have a system. They know when the donuts are gonna show up.

• 45:34Travis McElroy?

  They know. It's probably not unpredictable. They're probably not looking around like, where's Jared? Who's like, ah, god dang it, he's out there handing out free donuts again.

• 45:42Griffin McElroy?

  It's a question of courtesy. Do I also spend money on a donut? And I don't.

• 45:47Travis McElroy?

  I think if you just loudly. The idea is you go in to have your donut, they hand you a free one, and then you're like, you could probably, one thing you could do is buy a donut, hand it to them.

• 45:59Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 45:59Travis McElroy?

  And just be like, have you ever tried donuts?

• 46:03Griffin McElroy?

  Do you think they haven't ever? What, I guess, why would you do that?

• 46:07Travis McElroy?

  High in your own supply? When have you asked?

• 46:11Griffin McElroy?

  Sorry, no. No, no, no. You're, you're trying to flip this on it. Have I ever asked the Krispy Kreme employee, when I buy a donut from them, have I ever given it back to them and said, have you ever tried a donut before? I haven't done that. Have you? Travis, don't jump over this. I need to know, we gotta really pursue this line of logic from our brother because I'm concerned about.

• 46:32Travis McElroy?

  I assume that if you've worked at Krispy Kreme for any amount of time, you don't like them anymore.

• 46:38Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 46:39Travis McElroy?

  So I feel like they probably have not tried one in a long time. And they can maybe use a reminder of how good they can be. Well, then bring a donut from somewhere else, right? You're trying one of their donuts. You made them a donut at home. And you're like, now try one of mine, right? So you go in with, and you get the free one, you're like, well, I have, I brought nothing for you. Oh, wait a minute. What's this here on my pocket? I haven't have another donut. I have a donut for you, too. It's worked out good, huh? I'm trying to think of other businesses. Could you just take it, take it from them, put it behind your back, take it back out? Like, I got a donut for you as well. Enjoy.

• 47:18Travis McElroy?

  I'm, I'm trying to think of other businesses that have the model that when you go into that business to buy something, sometimes they give you one of those things for free and then look at you expectantly.

• 47:32Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 47:32Travis McElroy?

  To buy another one of those things. The bakery at Kroger definitely will have like, here's the dusty old cookies we can't sell. You can eat this for free if you want. And we'll watch you and kind of think less of you. And I think that's a similar setup, right? They're, they're hoping that you'll buy this, the cookies.

• 47:50Griffin McElroy?

  Man, I'd fuck up a donut right now. I'd just absolutely smash one, boys.

• 47:57Griffin McElroy?

  That's not.

• 47:57Travis McElroy?

  Like eat it?

• 47:58Griffin McElroy?

  Neither here nor there. I would eat a donut. Yeah, god dang, guys.

• 48:02Travis McElroy?

  What kind of donut? That's cool, dude. What kind of donut do you want to eat?

• 48:04Griffin McElroy?

  Plain hot glaze, plain hot glaze.

• 48:06Travis McElroy?

  That's the other thing, man. You walk in, they try to hand me a free plain hot glaze. I'm like, keep it. I came in to get the featured Looney Tunes Halloween Taz zombie donut. I don't need this.

• 48:17Griffin McElroy?

  If they saw you come and choose, I think they would know not to even bother offering you.

• 48:21Travis McElroy?

  Get the special cream filled Lola Bunny donut that you're only having today.

• 48:24Griffin McElroy?

  Like, that's not real, right?

• 48:26Travis McElroy?

  For grownups.

• 48:27Griffin McElroy?

  That's not real, right, is it?

• 48:28Travis McElroy?

  For grownups only. For grownups. That can't be real, though. Halloween donut is real. Okay. The Lola Bunny.

• 48:37Griffin McElroy?

  Cream filled Lola Bunny Donut can't be real.

• 48:40Travis McElroy?

  Is currently an unanswered email in the Krispy Kreme boxes. I'm hoping they will respond to this prototype soon.

• 48:48Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 48:48Travis McElroy?

  It's a, it's a secret menu thing. You're gonna have to ask for it. Yeah. Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you've enjoyed yourself. Hope you learned something and grew. I'm sorry to get you excited about the.

• 49:03Griffin McElroy?

  I hope you learned something about Gru today.

• 49:05Travis McElroy?

  I love that guy.

• 49:05Griffin McElroy?

  And his minions and his many machinations.

• 49:08Travis McElroy?

  What's his deal? Is he a villain or not? You know? Is he a?

• 49:12Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 49:12Travis McElroy?

  I'm not a movie guy. Was it, is he the?

• 49:15Griffin McElroy?

  He's so, he's the protagonist and sometimes like, it's kind of like the antagonist of Despicable Me.

• 49:23Travis McElroy?

  Okay. He's the biggest minion. He's the minion who's learned to pretend to be human.

• 49:28Griffin McElroy?

  Right. All the minions are sort of failed, hairless clones of, of him.

• 49:34Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, he was perfected.

• 49:35Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 49:36Travis McElroy?

  Uh, yeah. So anyway, thanks for listening to our podcast. This year we're doing Candle Knights in Huntington again.

• 49:43Griffin McElroy?

  Hell yeah, dude.

• 49:44Travis McElroy?

  But we're also still doing it, uh, where you can join us even if you can't make the trip in person because we're doing it in person, December 5th at 7:00 PM Eastern Time. Tickets on sale this Friday, October 30th at 12:00 PM Eastern Time, which includes a virtual stream ticket because we will be streaming it. The digital premiere of the recording of the show with bonus behind the scenes footage will premiere December 18th at 9:00 PM Eastern Time and the three of us will be in the chat. Uh, and video demand access will be available through January 3rd and tickets are available now.

• 50:21Griffin McElroy?

  All the benefits from the show, like every year, go straight to Harmony House, which seeks to end homelessness in the Huntington area through permanent housing and supportive service programs. We've been partnering with them for, for such a long time now and we're so honored to support them because the work they do is so important. Um, and they've, they've made such a difference in our hometown. Uh, so tickets for both events are available at bit.ly/candleknights2026 or at themacaroy.family/events.

• 50:51Travis McElroy?

  Um, anybody have something they want to throw? Well, we also have merch that people should check out. The Debra Sweet Leaf Tea designed by Bren Doherty and, uh, 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to the Center for Reproductive Rights. Also, if you haven't checked out the membership feed over at the McElroy Family YouTube, uh, there's a lot of stuff there for just $5 a month, including, uh, you get access to videos of us recording this year, My Brother, My Brother and Me podcast, just a few days after we, uh, put out the You Podcast episode, as well as early access to other videos that we make. So go check that out.

• 51:28Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Uh, and thanks to Montane for using our theme song, My Life is Better With You. Um, it's a track that is, uh, is, is, I mean, it's such a club banger and it's such a delight that we get to use it to start off each episode with some high energy fun. I'm sorry, I'm looking for shit.

• 51:45Travis McElroy?

  I have this bamboo lab P1S hot end that fucked up and got covered in a blob of PLA.

• 51:53Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, I mean, I love a broken nozzle. Is it?

• 51:57Travis McElroy?

  You're using it. It's useful again. Now you're turning it into entertainment. That's amazing, right? That's upcycling.

• 52:03Griffin McElroy?

  Trav, I need you to hit something with it because it's not going to make it, and don't do an over the back throw. I need you to really eat this thing because otherwise it's not going to make an audible sound at all.

• 52:10Travis McElroy?

  All right. Okay. What if I eat it down at the table and point the mic towards it? I think I want to see it flinging behind you and hit the car.

• 52:17Griffin McElroy?

  I need to see it hit the, I want to see if it hits our commemorative plate and makes a smash.

• 52:22Travis McElroy?

  It's heavy. I mean, it's hard and kind of poignant metal.

• 52:25Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, maybe it'll stick in the wall.

• 52:27Travis McElroy?

  Hold on, hold on. Let me see here. Okay, you ready?

• 52:31Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really hum it.

• 52:33Travis McElroy?

  Don't hit the words. Cool. That's neat. Hey, uh. I chipped a plant pot.

• 52:40Griffin McElroy?

  You chipped a plant pot? Awesome.

• 52:42Travis McElroy?

  Nice. Cool. Finalist and damage out of this. Chipped it real good. I'm Travis McElroy.

• 52:47Griffin McElroy?

  I'm Griffin McElroy.

• 52:48Travis McElroy?

  It's been My Brother, My Brother and Me. Kiss your dad. Square on the lips.

• 53:23Speaker 04

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