Pretty Little Episode #104

Fortune and Tig finally break Handsome's silence on the Bucee's beaver lawsuit and much more on today's beaver-tastic Pretty Little Episode! Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit your questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepod http://speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepodThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 0:16Fortune Feimster?

  Pretty Little Episode. Welcome to the Handsome Pod Pretty Little Episode. I'm your host, Fortune Feimster.

• 0:25Tig Notaro?

  I'm also a host and my name is Tig Notaro. Hi, Fortune.

• 0:29Fortune Feimster?

  Hi Tig. I don't know why, hearing that song, it's been a minute since I've heard it. It really does tickle me every time I hear it because I can hear each of our voices.

• 0:39Tig Notaro?

  I know, and I can't believe how good I sound.

• 0:42Fortune Feimster?

  I know, that baritone voice of yours.

• 0:48Fortune Feimster?

  Pretty great. Well, it's good to see you. I'm on the road.

• 0:52Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, tell me about it.

• 0:53Fortune Feimster?

  This isn't my normal bedroom.

• 0:57Tig Notaro?

  No, it's not.

• 0:58Fortune Feimster?

  But I took seven weeks off.

• 0:59Tig Notaro?

  I have been in your normal bedroom many days.

• 1:02Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 1:03Tig Notaro?

  Wait, you took seven weeks off?

• 1:05Fortune Feimster?

  From the road. I never take seven weeks off from work, but from the road, which was actually a nice little break. And now I'm back on tour again.

• 1:14Tig Notaro?

  And how many shows have you done?

• 1:17Fortune Feimster?

  It literally started back last night, so one.

• 1:21Tig Notaro?

  And how was that?

• 1:22Fortune Feimster?

  It was good. I wrote a lot while I was on break. So I am punching up my set. So it took me a minute to like, try to remember as much as I could. And some of the new punchups work. So that's always exciting, as you know, to get some new laughs.

• 1:43Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, for sure.

• 1:44Fortune Feimster?

  So now it's just getting back into the rhythm of it.

• 1:48Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 1:49Fortune Feimster?

  Because the rhythm is gonna get you.

• 1:51Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, rhythm got me a few times, but I have not been on the road. I have not done shows in a beat.

• 1:59Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 2:00Tig Notaro?

  Probably not as long as you, but it's been a beat.

• 2:04Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 2:04Tig Notaro?

  Like mid-June, something. And yeah, it's daunting sometimes to be like, wow, I've been offstage for six weeks, or whatever it's been. And yeah, but fingers crossed.

• 2:23Fortune Feimster?

  I know you always get worried you're gonna forget everything.

• 2:26Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my God. I'm convinced I won't know anything I said six weeks ago.

• 2:32Fortune Feimster?

  And there's like a minute where my brain goes into panic mode, like while I'm on stage, like, am I gonna remember the next part? And then it just kind of comes.

• 2:39Tig Notaro?

  Do you have those out of body moments where you're like, I have moments where I'm like, are these words? Am I saying, is this a word? Am I saying, are those words I just said? What's happening?

• 2:50Fortune Feimster?

  I had a little bit of that last night, where my brain, for like, one split second, was empty. Because it's stand up, as you know, you're saying words and you're thinking of the next story, or the next couple, like the next paragraph.

• 3:09Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 3:09Fortune Feimster?

  And I just went blank. And I was like, draw, I had enough wherewithal to draw out whatever I was saying.

• 3:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 3:18Fortune Feimster?

  While my brain was like, totally not there. And then it came back in and I continued. And I was like, oof.

• 3:26Tig Notaro?

  That's so interesting to hear you use the word paragraph, because that means you like, sit down and you type everything out and you write it, whereas...

• 3:35Fortune Feimster?

  I have a 14-page document here.

• 3:37Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my Lord. That's your studio side. I don't see my stuff in paragraphs.

• 3:44Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 3:44Tig Notaro?

  I'm like, just telling whatever story, because like, I write on stage.

• 3:50Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 3:51Tig Notaro?

  And I don't write it down at all. And so it's really interesting to hear, you know, thinking of the next paragraph. I don't think, I don't think in paragraphs.

• 4:03Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 4:04Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I guess I think more in images, or like, what happened next, or whatever.

• 4:10Fortune Feimster?

  I started doing it, I don't write it out, I write it out in the beginning, but then I don't write out the like, finished product till about midway through. And I started doing it when I filmed my specials, two specials ago, so that when I'm filming, I can give them the quote unquote script, and they can tell me if I missed anything. Like if I were, like, in one taping last tour, I mean, last special, I left out a whole chunk.

• 4:45Tig Notaro?

  Oh, that's a good idea.

• 4:47Fortune Feimster?

  Just FYI, you didn't say that story. I was like, oh, so I went back at the very end. And this is like, let me tell you one more thing.

• 4:56Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

• 4:58Fortune Feimster?

  So that's, it's kind of for that purpose. And then my studio side does go in there and look at the words and the jokes and...

• 5:08Tig Notaro?

  Mm-hmm.

• 5:10Fortune Feimster?

  So that's what, that's what I'm up to. And then I'm gonna go see my mom again next week and hang out with her. She was supposed to have chemo, but her body doesn't have any white blood cells right now, so she can't. So just trying to get her rested and hydrated to hopefully start chemo again in two weeks.

• 5:30Tig Notaro?

  Okay. Does she do like, hydration IVs? Or what do they do to help her?

• 5:36Fortune Feimster?

  She has it. I wonder if that would help. She just got her counts, because she was supposed to do chemo Monday, and they were like, no, no, no. This is the second time she hasn't been able to do it. So they just said resting and not going out in public, because she has no immunity right now.

• 5:57Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 5:58Fortune Feimster?

  So we'll see. So we're just gonna chill.

• 6:02Tig Notaro?

  Yes, chilling with Ginger.

• 6:04Fortune Feimster?

  You don't have to ask me twice to hang out on the couch with Ginger.

• 6:07Tig Notaro?

  But on your comfy handsome sweats.

• 6:10Fortune Feimster?

  Well, one thing we're gonna do is, we're gonna, she has a lot of stories and a lot of oral history about our family. And we're gonna film her Tuesday, just talking about a lot of stuff, just to have for our family.

• 6:25Tig Notaro?

  And are you going to do it just casually with your family? Or are you gonna like, bring in like, a pro situation?

• 6:32Fortune Feimster?

  My brother has, has a friend who has all like, nice equipment, so he will bring in that stuff. But it'll just be, you know, for us. And she'll just, we'll have questions we want to ask her, and then she'll have stuff, you know, she does not lack for things to talk about. So we'll just kind of let her go.

• 6:54Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, that's great.

• 6:56Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 6:57Tig Notaro?

  Awesome. Well, all of our love to Ginger, always.

• 7:01Fortune Feimster?

  Thank you.

• 7:02Tig Notaro?

  And...

• 7:03Fortune Feimster?

  Appreciate it.

• 7:05Fortune Feimster?

  Should we get some questions?

• 7:07Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I think we should.

• 7:08Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 7:09Tig Notaro?

  Let's do it. Thomas, Mr. T.

• 7:13Speaker 03

  Hi, Fortune, May, and Tig. This is Erica from Ohio. I have to give a quick shout out to my friend Abby. She's the one that recommended I start listening to your podcast. She called it a giggle fest. She was right, and now I never miss an episode. My question for you today is on one of Tig's favorite topics. Buc-Ee's is suing a small town mini-mart in Ohio called Beaver's Mini-Mart. It's located in the town of Beaver Creek, where the school mascot is a beaver. What are your thoughts on this case? Should we be boycotting Buc-Ee's? Thank you all for your humor. You always brighten my day. And Fortune, Abby and I will be seeing you in Dayton.

• 7:55Tig Notaro?

  Nice.

• 7:56Fortune Feimster?

  Nice. Um, well, they listen to you, and Abby listened to you, and you say, tell a friend.

• 8:03Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I was just thinking that. I was like, wow, look at that, me demanding that people tell a friend. We got one more listener.

• 8:11Fortune Feimster?

  It worked.

• 8:12Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Welcome aboard, Erica. I don't know what else to say. I mean, I don't want to get caught up in the Buc-Ee's lawsuit and tell people to do anything. I just am gonna hand it over to Fortune. Fortune, what do you do about all these?

• 8:31Fortune Feimster?

  What's the resident beaver?

• 8:32Tig Notaro?

  By the way, and speaking of beavers, that's been my whole summer.

• 8:38Fortune Feimster?

  Really? Seeing beavers?

• 8:40Tig Notaro?

  Beaver, yes.

• 8:41Fortune Feimster?

  Is this a euphemism or actual beavers?

• 8:44Tig Notaro?

  No, it is actual beavers.

• 8:46Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 8:46Tig Notaro?

  And it is just a joy. They are just so adorable and ridiculous.

• 8:52Fortune Feimster?

  Are they on their back and stuff, like?

• 8:54Tig Notaro?

  Well, the summer...

• 8:55Fortune Feimster?

  Doing backstroke?

• 8:56Tig Notaro?

  Well, no, it's more like, you see them in their little beaver dams, or like, they'll poke their heads out. And Stephanie makes fun of me when I try and go, and like, make beaver noises at them.

• 9:08Fortune Feimster?

  Is that your beaver call?

• 9:10Tig Notaro?

  I mean, it's not good.

• 9:11Fortune Feimster?

  All these lesbians come flying out of the woods.

• 9:15Tig Notaro?

  Did someone say beaver?

• 9:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. But I have, this has been the summer of beavers. So, yeah.

• 9:23Fortune Feimster?

  I love that.

• 9:24Tig Notaro?

  What did you just send to us, Thomas? Is it anything?

• 9:27Fortune Feimster?

  I think that's the article about the story. So I knew a little bit of this because...

• 9:33Tig Notaro?

  You did?

• 9:35Fortune Feimster?

  Well, John Oliver has on his show, Late Night Tonight. That's the name of the show, right? And he heard about this.

• 9:44Tig Notaro?

  Oh, this week tonight, this week tonight.

• 9:46Fortune Feimster?

  This week tonight, okay. Apparently, I guess Buc-Ee's...

• 9:50Tig Notaro?

  Last week tonight.

• 9:52Fortune Feimster?

  Last week tonight. We'll get it together.

• 9:55Tig Notaro?

  Never miss an episode.

• 9:58Fortune Feimster?

  So it's, apparently, they've done this to a number of places, as far as...

• 10:04Tig Notaro?

  Oh, Buc-Ee's has?

• 10:06Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. But like, these small, smaller businesses. And, you know, John Oliver does not like, anything that seems, you know, to be going against the...

• 10:20Fortune Feimster?

  Clearly, this is a small

• 10:22Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 10:22Fortune Feimster?

  business that's been there and it has no association with Buc-E's, nor is it trying to. And he didn't like that they'd been going after all of these different businesses litigiously. And so he's, he's trying to get sued by them, I think. That I forgot what he did, but he's done something that he's trying to get them to sue.

• 10:43Tig Notaro?

  He's trying to get sued by Buc-E's?

• 10:45Speaker 04

  He made his own beaver logo to try to get sued by Buc-E's.

• 10:49Fortune Feimster?

  To like bring it this to light, that this is, this is not what they need to be worried about.

• 10:57Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 10:57Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, Thomas just sent us the article that shows this beaver's mini mart. And they couldn't, I mean, a beaver looks like a beaver, you know, like this does not have, I do not look at this and see Buc-E's in any sense.

• 11:11Tig Notaro?

  Are you really saying every beaver looks the same?

• 11:14Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, a cartoon beaver has a similar vibe, right?

• 11:18Tig Notaro?

  Wow, I can't believe you didn't take that in a dirty direction, Fortune Marie.

• 11:24Fortune Feimster?

  I know, I, I already had.

• 11:26Tig Notaro?

  I'm ju-, you know what it is, is it's just the like, the hoopla around Buc-E's is what drives me batty. Cause I'm not batty for Buc-E's, but it seems like there is a chunk of folk that are, is, are.

• 11:44Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, listen, we are, we have not really done a deep dive. Thomas sent us an article that I've looked at for two seconds. So I can't pretend to know the like ins and outs of this. I understand that when it comes to trademarks, it's tricky. But I would say with little to no information about this story, you know, no one should own, I understand Buc-E's owning its particular name and its particular design.

• 12:14Tig Notaro?

  Face, yeah.

• 12:15Fortune Feimster?

  That and, and protecting that, but protect.

• 12:19Tig Notaro?

  Move it along.

• 12:20Fortune Feimster?

  A cartoon beaver, anything named beaver, you just don't have jurisdiction on. And so hopefully they figure out a way for Buc-E's to be able to maintain their trademark without taking these small places down, cause like beaver's mini mart, like who cares? Like let them do their thing and you know, as long as it doesn't say Buc-E's or have that exact drawing, but will it have some sort of cartoon beaver? Yes.

• 12:50Tig Notaro?

  Can I?

• 12:51Fortune Feimster?

  And I think that's fine.

• 12:53Tig Notaro?

  Can I say one final thing?

• 12:55Fortune Feimster?

  Please.

• 12:57Fortune Feimster?

  Oh my God.

• 12:59Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 13:00Fortune Feimster?

  Is that what beavers sound like?

• 13:02Tig Notaro?

  I don't know, something like that. Can you pull up a beaver noise? Okay.

• 13:07Fortune Feimster?

  It's more of an otter, isn't it?

• 13:09Tig Notaro?

  Maybe. What noises do beavers make?

• 13:13Fortune Feimster?

  Well, we're always, we're always gonna want the, the, the small town, small companies to, to stay in business. And thrive, so we're always in the support.

• 13:33Tig Notaro?

  It's not too far off. How cute is that?

• 13:35Fortune Feimster?

  It's not too far off, you're actually closer than I thought.

• 13:38Tig Notaro?

  Go to Hulu. Erica, thank you so much for this legal question. We are taking legal advice here on.

• 13:47Fortune Feimster?

  The lesbians, we should have put on a blazer and a tie.

• 13:55Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, back to the old handsome days when we were building our brand. Remember when suits and whiskey was our brand? Now it's just real beavers.

• 14:07Tig Notaro?

  All right, what else you got for us, Thomas?

• 14:11Speaker 05

  Hi, Handsoms, Fortune, May and Tig, I love you all so much. This is Cara from Kansas City. So my question for you is, what was some sort of situation or event in childhood that your family made light of or was kind of like a family tale? That you didn't realize was a problem growing up, but now as an adult, you look back and you're like, yeah, that was really messed up. Just really curious, I know we all have something.

• 14:42Fortune Feimster?

  She's like, I wanna know those family secrets.

• 14:45Tig Notaro?

  Well, is she saying a, like a tale that wasn't true, but it was problematic? Is that? Or am I misunderstanding this?

• 14:53Fortune Feimster?

  Think so, but like something that y'all used to think was like a fun family quip that's now like, ooh, I don't know, that was a tough one.

• 15:07Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 15:08Fortune Feimster?

  Only because we, we mainly don't understand.

• 15:13Fortune Feimster?

  What's the actual thing? I'm trying to think like, I mean, I don't think this answers the question right on the nose, but I have, I had two special needs uncles growing up who were mentally handicapped. And so there were a lot of things that they did and said that like, they were like characters. So it was a trip, you know? And so there were a lot of things they did that we would just kind of like shake our heads and laugh at. And now you're kind of like, oh.

• 15:54Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 15:54Fortune Feimster?

  What?

• 15:56Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 15:56Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, and so that's the closest thing I think we have is just some of the thing, you know, some of the things they said were wild, but they were mentally, you know.

• 16:07Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 16:09Fortune Feimster?

  Had disabilities there. And so it was, and like I had one, one of the uncles used to read like the smutty books. Do you remember, kind of like the, remember the days of the Fabio books? He didn't read Fabio, but the romance novels, but they were more like sexual. Do you know about those?

• 16:35Tig Notaro?

  No.

• 16:36Fortune Feimster?

  So I had one uncle, he, he was mentally handicapped, but he could read. And then the other uncle could not read. So they had different skills. One uncle could drive, the other one could not drive.

• 16:47Tig Notaro?

  Wow.

• 16:48Fortune Feimster?

  The one that could read could not drive and the one that couldn't read could drive.

• 16:54Fortune Feimster?

  But he would, you know, kind of talk about these smutty books in front of us and we'd laugh it off. And then I was like, I don't know that we needed to be hearing about that.

• 17:07Fortune Feimster?

  And then anytime I've tried to like tell jokes or stories about those uncles, everyone's just like, what?

• 17:13Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 17:14Fortune Feimster?

  And I'm like, I guess you.

• 17:15Tig Notaro?

  They get uptight?

• 17:15Fortune Feimster?

  You had to be there.

• 17:17Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 17:18Fortune Feimster?

  So I think that's one of those things that just like my family understands and.

• 17:25Fortune Feimster?

  But it's harder to explain to other people.

• 17:29Tig Notaro?

  Right. I had such a different angle on this.

• 17:33Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 17:33Tig Notaro?

  Like I was thinking of like.

• 17:35Fortune Feimster?

  You might be more spot on, I don't know.

• 17:37Tig Notaro?

  No, I doubt it. I'm sure yours sounds right now that I'm hearing it. Mine was, I'll just give you the wrong answer.

• 17:43Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, give it, give it, we can do anything we want.

• 17:46Tig Notaro?

  We can, we are our own bosses. I, I interpreted it as like, what was a story that people told that wasn't true?

• 17:58Fortune Feimster?

  I can see that angle.

• 18:02Tig Notaro?

  That you look back and it's problematic, this, it's not problematic. It's, it's at all. But my mother used to tell a story about how when I was very little, I went to the bathroom and I got stuck in the toilet and the, and she had to call the plumbers to come take out all of the plumbing to get me out of the toilet. I don't know where this story came, but I was always like, I did, I was stuck in the toilet. She was like, oh yeah, sweetie, we had, the plumbers had to undo the whole toilet, pull that out, all the plumbing. We had to pull you out of the, and I was like, wow, I do, I couldn't even pick, to this day,

• 18:45Tig Notaro?

  I still can't quite picture this made up story. And, and how I would have possibly been stuck in a toilet.

• 18:54Fortune Feimster?

  Wait, but when did you find out it was made up?

• 18:57Tig Notaro?

  I mean, as soon as you're old enough to be like, that didn't happen. I remember at some age, I don't know what it was, I was looking at my mother going, was I really stuck in a, it was like always told, this story of, of the plumbers, like having to take the, all the plumbing out of the house. It's like, why? I guess because I'm her daughter and she's my mother, that that was some weird story that she used to tell.

• 19:26Fortune Feimster?

  That's so funny.

• 19:27Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 19:28Fortune Feimster?

  Or maybe like, or maybe like something happened that you got like a little, something happened and she just embellished it.

• 19:37Tig Notaro?

  Well, yeah, clearly, you know, I, I bet it was something as simple as like, sweetie, you're gonna get stuck in the toilet. Remember when you got stuck in the toilet? Like and then it spun off and then probably when I was 10 or something, I was like, did I really get, you had to call the plumber to pull all the plumbing out of the house to get me out of the? And you know, I think that, but I don't know when it was.

• 20:02Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 20:02Tig Notaro?

  But I don't think this is at all what Cara or Cara was asking. But, but there is, there is that story.

• 20:13Fortune Feimster?

  That's what's happening here.

• 20:15Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 20:16Fortune Feimster?

  Well, I think we did the best we could.

• 20:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, we're, we're always doing the best we could.

• 20:23Tig Notaro?

  And we fall short. We're, we're just, we're just people. We're just people.

• 20:28Fortune Feimster?

  Yep.

• 20:30Tig Notaro?

  But there we are.

• 20:32Fortune Feimster?

  I love it, does she have an answer?

• 20:34Speaker 05

  So my answer is that when I was a toddler, apparently I climbed out of bed and this was the early nineties, out of my crib. And instead of putting up a baby gate or something like that, my parents had a wooden plank covered in some fabric that they attached to my crib and would open and close. And I called it my id, which was, you know, my toddler way of saying my lid. So seems pretty weird. All right, thanks, bye.

• 21:05Tig Notaro?

  Wait, and it's problematic?

• 21:09Speaker 04

  Well, I don't think you're supposed to have a lid on a baby crib.

• 21:24Fortune Feimster?

  We're all like, okay.

• 21:27Tig Notaro?

  I can guarantee, having two children of my own, you're not supposed to have a lid on your baby crib. But wow, that, that sent us in many different directions and very different even from the answer.

• 21:41Fortune Feimster?

  Yes.

• 21:42Tig Notaro?

  All right. Well, that was as fun as ever. And always a treat to hear what our listeners are thinking. It truly never ceases to amaze me, what people come up with. It's amazing. It is some amazing stuff.

• 22:02Fortune Feimster?

  That was a super fun, a couple of questions. We don't know if we did anyone any justice today. Um, except for, you know, just looking out for the small beavers out here.

• 22:15Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. And people that think lids go on baby cribs.

• 22:19Fortune Feimster?

  There might be a couple of people that were like, whoa, I did not know that there were not supposed to be lids.

• 22:24Tig Notaro?

  Yes.

• 22:25Fortune Feimster?

  On the baby crib. And we now have helped them.

• 22:29Tig Notaro?

  And certainly not it's. So, um, if you want to see me live, go to tignotaro.com. I got tour dates waiting for you.

• 22:38Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I'm also on tour. I'm all over the place. So I go to my website and see if I'm coming to a city near you.

• 22:46Tig Notaro?

  Yes, indeed. And keep up the, uh, good work of passing along the good news of the Handsome Podcast. And, um, yeah, just tell your friends. It's a great community to be a part of. Also, please submit your questions and advice requests to speakpipe.com/hansampod. And until next time.

• 23:10Fortune Feimster?

  Keep it pretty handsome.

• 23:13Tig Notaro?

  Pretty handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune Themester. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at [email protected]. Follow us on social media at HandsomePod. What a podcast. What a podcast.

• 23:39Speaker 00

  That was a HeadGum Podcast.