703 What We Need Most to Change the World with Dr. Alaa Murabit

EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE A SEAT AT THE TABLE. For my whole life, everything has been a competition. You either win, or you lose. I wasn’t intentionally trying to hurt people, but I wanted to be a winner. It wasn’t until I was 30 years old that I learned a better way to live: win/win. It transformed my life. I started looking for ways that I could succeed while allowing the people around me to succeed, too. At the end of the day, we’re all in this together. The idea of creating win/win situations has been mastered by my guest on today’s episode: Dr. Alaa Murabit. Dr. Alaa Murabit attended medical school at the age of 15 and was named one of Forbes 30 under 30, an Aspen Institute Spotlight Scholar, and one of Canada’s 30x30. She is one of the UN’s 17 Global Sustainable Development Goal Advocates and a UN High-Level Commissioner on Health Employment & Economic Growth. She was recently appointed the Executive Director of Phase Minus 1, LLC which provides leadership in conflict resolution, peacebuilding, and more. Dr. Murabit champions women's participation in peace processes and conflict mediation. She approaches conflict in a way that humanizes both sides: by first finding common ground. She is helping everyone in the world understand that when women succeed, everyone succeeds. It’s good for the economy, it’s good for the government, and it’s even good for the environment. Learn how Dr. Murabit mediates the most difficult scenarios and helps women obtain an education, reproductive rights, and health in Episode 703. Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  This is episode number 703 with Dr. Alaa Murabit. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:32Lewis Howes?

  John F. Kennedy said, "If we cannot now end our differences, at least we can help make the world safe for diversity." Today, we've got a powerful human being on. Her name is Dr. Alaa Murabit. She is nicknamed "The Libyan Doogie Howser," named by Jon Stewart. And Dr. Alaa Murabit was admitted to med school at 15 years old. In her final year, she turned her eye to policy, founding The Voice of Libyan Women, a nonprofit aimed at empowering those caught in conflict in her home country. Four years later, she researches health securities issues as the only UN high-level commissioner under 45.

• 1:15Lewis Howes?

  If you go to her website, you'll see paragraphs and paragraphs of things about her bio of the board she sits on and the things she's doing around the world. She's truly making a massive impact around the world. And in this interview, we dive in deep, and it gets pretty emotional at certain moments. So be ready for what might unlock for you. She shares her secrets on the best thing to do when negotiating. She goes into different governments and countries and works with people on negotiating big conflict and how you can negotiate in any situation in your life. Also, why we need to approach religion with inclusivity so everyone is accepted

• 1:59Lewis Howes?

  and the challenges that religion faces with conflict today around the world. Also, how you can use your own privileges to make an impact and lift your community. up the difference between education and empowerment especially for women talk about gender equality and what really needs to change if there's one thing that needs to change that can impact so many other causes around the world what that one thing is and so much more this one goes in deep guys make sure you share with your friends i believe you're going to be moved and inspired in a powerful way and make sure you tag at lewis howes and at ala murabit that's a l a m u r a b i t over on instagram when you're connecting with us and let us know

• 2:44Lewis Howes?

  what you enjoy about this episode again a big thank you to our sponsors today and i'm so excited about this episode because we dive in deep on a number of hot topics i hope you enjoy this one again make sure to share with your friends text a couple friends the link from spotify or itunes just send the link directly via text put it on facebook twitter instagram stories tag me at lewis howes and at ala murabit as well to let us know the parts that you enjoy the most and without further ado let me introduce to you the inspiring the incredible dr ala murabit

• 3:25Lewis Howes?

  welcome everyone back to the school of greatness we have dr ala murabit in the house good to see you welcome to the studio i'm excited about this we just had a powerful probably could have been a 20 minute podcast that we just had conversation already maybe we'll throw some of that in there but before we dive into things can you share a little bit about exactly what you do so people understand it and how you got into your profession

• 3:50Speaker 01

  so i am a medical doctor by background knew i wanted to be a doctor since i was a little kid my dad is a surgeon himself so my after school program was going to the hospital and watching surgeries which a lot of parents might find unacceptable now but was a really good method for my parents and ended up going into medical school at the age of 15 in libya 15 in libya in my final year of medical school a revolution broke out and so i started an organization called the voice of libyan women which really focused on getting women included in and actually being architects of peace processes and conflict resolutions because statistically they last longer when they're more inclusive And from there, our projects ended up changing laws nationally, being implemented internationally.

• 4:34Speaker 01

  I was asked to advise the United Nations Security Council, which really looks at how we can prevent conflicts or mitigate conflicts around the world. And from there, was asked to be an advisor to UN Women, which is the arm of the United Nations that really looks at women's roles in leadership and how we can prevent challenges and disasters towards women, et cetera. And then, of course, from there, asked to become a UN Sustainable Development Goal Advocate. There are 17 Sustainable Development Goals. They've been signed on by 196 countries. And really, the purpose of them is we're saying by 2030, we're going to have a vastly different world. So 17 goals that are in it.

• 5:09Lewis Howes?

  What are two or three of them?

• 5:10Speaker 01

  No poverty, gender equality, reducing inequalities, economic growth, peace, justice, and strong institutions, good, equal, quality health care, quality education, and so really...

• 5:22Lewis Howes?

  Around the world?

• 5:22Speaker 01

  Around the world. And countries have signed up, companies have signed up, which makes it very important. Goal 17 is actually partnership for the goals. And you have a huge push, I think, from everybody at once to have almost this lighthouse that's giving you this pathway, where we know that there's challenges daily. Obviously, there's new political surprises. You turn on the news, there's always something new, a new conflict, a new natural disaster, new opportunity. But these are meant to be a framework for the next 15 years, not to get distracted.

• 5:51Lewis Howes?

  So what's your role in that?

• 5:52Speaker 01

  I'm one of the 17 Sustainable Development Goal Advocates. So some of the other advocates include...

• 5:57Lewis Howes?

  There are 17 goals.

• 5:58Speaker 01

  17 goals.

• 5:58Lewis Howes?

  You're one of the advocates.

• 6:00Speaker 01

  Yes, and there are 17 advocates. And so some of the other advocates include the Prime Minister of Norway, Ernest Solberg, famous soccer player Messi, singer Shakira, Forest Whitaker, Richard Curtis, who's a well-known filmmaker, and then Nobel laureates Mohamed Yunus and Lay MacBoe, CEO of Unilever, Paul Pullman. So it's a huge mix of different people that all bring a different perspective. And about a year after that, I was asked to be the UN High Level Commissioner on Health, Employment, and Economic Growth, which looks specifically about at how wellness and health... And supporting health for your citizens or for your employees, for your community actually leads to greater economic growth. And we see that with companies all the time where they'll put a gym in because they know it'll decrease sick days and increase productivity.

• 6:43Speaker 01

  And so our sentiment is if it works in a company, it works in a country. And that's what the data shows.

• 6:48Lewis Howes?

  Interesting. So when do you have time to just relax?

• 6:52Speaker 01

  I don't, but I'm going to get more.

• 6:54Lewis Howes?

  Okay, good.

• 6:54Speaker 01

  I'm taking some hints from your podcast. So I'm going to take more time off.

• 6:58Lewis Howes?

  That's good.

• 6:59Speaker 01

  Planning a family vacation in February if my family can agree on the minute details, but.

• 7:05Lewis Howes?

  What's the thing you're most proud of?

• 7:07Speaker 01

  Probably my relationship with my family. There's this Mari Andrews who does these cool cartoons on Instagram. And she does, like she did today or yesterday, metrics of success. And so some people define success based on like the number of followers or the number of patients they have per year. Or number of, for me, might be like number of negotiations. I actually get my zero points in. And lower in the metrics were like, you know, relationship with family, time you spend with the people you love most. And so for me would be, I have a very large family, 10 brothers, 10 sisters. And yeah.

• 7:42Lewis Howes?

  It's crazy.

• 7:42Speaker 01

  Very independent, very successful, very mobile group of people. But I've dedicated a significant amount of my time to making sure that that is prioritized. And so my relationship with my family, with my husband, with my parents, probably what I'm most proud of.

• 7:57Lewis Howes?

  You talk about religion in your TED Talk and reclaiming religion and how it gives people power. What does that actually mean?

• 8:05Speaker 01

  Well, I think if you look at organized religion, so I think faith is, for me, faith is what I define as between me and whoever I believe is the higher power. So in my case, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. And I think that's a very personal journey. I think that, you know, you can live with somebody in the same house for 20 years and have very different perspectives on faith. And that's fair. And it probably means that you're growing in your relationship with God and probably with each other because you're being open to those different perspectives and ideas. The challenge with organized religion. Is it becomes a tool for political and economic power. Anything organized does. There's the added kind of bonus of people being able to say, well, God said so. And it's very difficult to argue with God.

• 8:44Lewis Howes?

  How do we know God said so?

• 8:45Speaker 01

  Exactly, exactly. And so it becomes defined by those who have authority and power. And traditionally, historically, that has been men. And so you find, even today, in my own religion, there are significant social and cultural issues and challenges I have towards the treatment of women or what is said about women. And that's, you know, can span in any faith, most major faiths. So if you look at reproductive rights in Texas, or if you look at domestic violence, for example, in the Middle East. And for me, the frustration is these rules and these social and cultural norms have been defined by men who have gained economic, political, and social power because of how they've manipulated and interpreted and spread the word of God, right? So I think religion, and because of the way

• 9:27Speaker 01

  in which they've ensured women haven't been part of that conversation. When women did speak up, oh, you know, you're speaking against God, you're dishonorable, it would get into, you know, her character, her honor, her morals, et cetera. And we saw that here in the United States with the suffragette movement. We see that around the world with different movements. The huge push against four abortion laws in Argentina and Iceland, Ireland has brought that out. It's a constant challenge because whether we like it or not, religion has shaped a significant amount of our policies, even in, you know, countries that say that state and church are separate. And until I think we as women start saying, listen, we need to start redefining who gets to dictate what religion means and what God, the interpretation of what God has said.

• 10:09Speaker 01

  Until we start doing that, we're always going to be playing catch up, I think.

• 10:13Lewis Howes?

  So what can we do to evolve the process?

• 10:16Speaker 01

  I think a huge part of it, I think it's similar to almost any process where power is up for grabs, right? Ultimately, religion means power.

• 10:25Speaker 01

  Across the globe, it means power and it means money.

• 10:27Lewis Howes?

  Rules, money.

• 10:28Speaker 01

  Rules, money, regulation, who gets to sit at the table? Who gets to define the agenda? That's all what, when I say God has interpreted that you are unable to do this, that automatically means that I'm getting to make the decisions and I get the benefit of those decisions. So that economic pull or that social pull. And I think a huge part of the way it can change is first and foremost, we need to start redefining who's at the table. Women should, and we need to be able to create an ecosystem where women can say, listen, we have as much right, knowledge, expertise, to be able to define what God has said, to interpret, to be part of this conversation. God is not created in the likeness of men, that's not the purpose here. But then second, we also need men that have positions of authority in those spaces, much like any other space, to say, listen, I'm going to give up some of my power,

• 11:13Speaker 01

  I'm going to leverage some of my network, leverage some of my credibility, leverage some of my social capital, to ensure that you have a seat at this table and to ensure that we can move this agenda forward. And maybe put my own name on the line and say, hey, I'd like to talk about the representation of women or the interpretation of this verse or the way we've executed this particular notion within our faith community. And it's, I mean, across faiths, you have challenges where a lot of things get brushed under the rug to protect the status quo and to protect those in power. And if the people that are part of that powerful community don't start standing up, you're never going to be able to push that needle forward.

• 11:49Lewis Howes?

  You hear about all the stories from like different religions that are dealing with sexual abuse or violence, whatever it may be, or stealing or crime, but they sweep it under the rug.

• 11:59Speaker 01

  A hundred percent.

• 12:00Lewis Howes?

  To protect themselves.

• 12:01Speaker 01

  A hundred percent.

• 12:02Lewis Howes?

  Even if it's against their faith or their religion.

• 12:04Speaker 01

  That's why I think it's so important because to define the difference between religion and faith. It can be a hundred percent against their faith, but it may be in service of their religious institution.

• 12:12Lewis Howes?

  So they justify it, right?

• 12:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, so they justify it, like, oh, I'm protecting the institution, right? And I find that very frustrating because if you look, for example, at the sexual violence of children, 90% of kids are abused by somebody they know. Right, and so oftentimes when we ask, okay, like, what can we do to do things better? In many of these communities, religion still does play a role globally. You have religious institutions, you have religious authorities. And yet, when families go to those religious institutions, oftentimes the families are told, "This is a familial issue. Let's deal with this internally. Let's not take this outwards." And it does limit, I think, the growth for that family and their ability to heal, but more so, the legitimacy of that religious community. Like, how can you tell me, "God is merciful, and God is open, and God is just",

• 12:56Speaker 01

  when this is happening to me, and when I went to seek you out and to ask you for what you could do on behalf, you know, what you could do or what God could do, you told me, "No, you need to keep this quiet." I think religious communities are gonna wrestle with that reality as well.

• 13:09Lewis Howes?

  Do you feel like religions create a lot of the chaos in the world?

• 13:12Speaker 01

  I fundamentally believe the interpretation and misuse of religion causes significant challenges, yes.

• 13:16Lewis Howes?

  Because you're constantly in negotiation for peace. Traveling 90% of the time, you said, doing conflict resolution, essentially, right? With different countries and different challenges.

• 13:27Speaker 01

  And religion, religion often comes up, or the misuse of religion. Religion and cultural norms. So, in Arabic, and I mentioned it in my TED Talk, there are two key words I always heard when I was growing up. Haram, which means like, religiously forbidden, and aiyah, which is culturally inappropriate. And in most cultures around the world, those two cross a lot more than you would expect.

• 13:49Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 13:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, there's a huge gray line there. So, for example, you'll have conversations, and I had them pretty recently, actually, with friends who are devout Catholics, who will tell me, you know, "This is religiously prohibited", when really, it's more socially or culturally not expected or not appropriate. And the same in a Snam, you'll always have these conversations where you begin to challenge them, and you say, "Wait, that's not actually what religion says", but that is what we've been told for a very long time. And what we dictate is normal, and what we dictate is acceptable, and what we then teach our kids, and what we, our kids teach their kids. So, I mean, I always give the example of when I started my, my organization. My grandpa is old school, like was very old school. He passed away a couple of years ago, but was very old school. And when I started my organization, he had a lot of trouble with it. He was like,

• 14:34Lewis Howes?

  Why?

• 14:35Speaker 01

  What are you talking about? Because he said, women are empowered. Women can't, you know, sometimes.

• 14:39Lewis Howes?

  He said, women are empowered?

• 14:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's like, if a woman wants to do something, she can do it. You don't need organizations for women to move things forward. He was very like, if you pick yourself up by the bootstraps, you'll move forward. But then, in that same token, he'd be like, women are meant to like, you know, really sustain the community and the family. They don't need to be at peace negotiations. They don't need to be talking about the intricacies of security. It was interesting because having those conversations with him made me realize, and I did it too, I was super arrogant about the way I approached things. When you go to somebody and want to change their mind about something, and you're like, well, this is right. You should do this. This is right. And I'm a dad nerd, so I'd be like, statistically, you know, 90% of peace processes fail within five years. When women are included, they're 35 times more likely to last 15 years.

• 15:24Lewis Howes?

  Here's the facts.

• 15:25Speaker 01

  Here's the facts. And you're not intelligent if you don't agree with me. Like, it was a very like, this is the way I see the world, and you should see it too. And the past, I think first, being a sibling of 10 other people, but also the past eight years of this work, nine years of this work, has taught me that most times, that's not the best way to do things.

• 15:43Lewis Howes?

  What's the best way to do it? To convince someone?

• 15:46Speaker 01

  Well, it's not necessarily to convince them, I just listen to them. At this point, I ask them why, because I think my grandparents, probably your grandparents, your friends, your family, most people believe things because that's what they've been taught to believe by the people who they think and they know love them most. They trust most. And so when you go to somebody, a woman, and say, listen, you know, your daughter needs to get an education. What you're doing is wrong. What you're telling her is everything you've been taught by the people who love you is wrong, and everything you're teaching to the people you love most is wrong.

• 16:13Lewis Howes?

  And you're wrong and bad.

• 16:14Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 16:15Lewis Howes?

  Ignorant.

• 16:16Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 16:16Lewis Howes?

  It's an attack on their character and their life.

• 16:19Speaker 01

  Their life and their growth and their family and their identity. And so. Because I'm not going to agree with everybody who brings me dad and statistics and facts all the time, right? But what I will do-

• 16:28Lewis Howes?

  Ninety percent of the time, statistics are wrong.

• 16:31Speaker 01

  Well, you terrified me with that. I was like, so listen, Louis.

• 16:34Lewis Howes?

  Ninety percent of the time, every fact is wrong.

• 16:37Speaker 01

  Well, but facts can be skewed, right? Or conversations can be misled.

• 16:41Lewis Howes?

  Just like the bible and anything else.

• 16:42Speaker 01

  Exactly. But depending on who interprets it and who decides the metrics and the norms and the values and who sits at the agenda-setting table, right? But for me, it really is, okay, so tell me why you believe that way. Like, if you don't think your daughter should have the same education as your son, tell me why. And usually, they'll go into a story about how when they were younger, it didn't matter to them and their mother didn't have an education and look what she was able to do. So it's a lot more personal than I think we give it credence for.

• 17:08Lewis Howes?

  So what do you say when someone says that? When I was younger, this was that.

• 17:11Speaker 01

  Well, I usually have conversations with them about-

• 17:13Lewis Howes?

  Times have changed.

• 17:14Speaker 01

  Not, no, not times have changed, but do you ever wish you did things differently? Do you ever wish that you took the opportunity? Where do you think you would be if you had an education? Oftentimes, people will point out, so my mom, who got her university degree but then had 11 kids, her number one rule in life was that you always sustain yourself. And she had that rule because she was responsible for this entire family and felt like she had very little self-sustainability, right? She was responsible for a community, she wasn't the breadwinner in the home, she didn't have a lot of the economic power. And even though her and my dad had this wonderful relationship growing up and had each other's backs, growing up, it was always, my sister went into plastic surgery at the age of 22. Like, that was her plan for residency.

• 17:58Speaker 01

  And when the rest of the community was saying, "Plastic surgery for a woman?" And this was in Canada, but like, she could do gynecology or pediatrics. My mom was like, "No, she'll do what she wants to do and she'll be her own boss." And so, I think a large part of why my mom felt that way was because she never felt she had that opportunity. And usually, when you ask people what they believe, why they believe, and if they would have done things differently, you get a lot farther than saying, "This is what you should do because I said so," or "The numbers said so," or "You're wrong." Even if they don't change their minds, and it's not always my job to change their minds, at least you get to hear a different perspective and they get to hear yours with more open ears.

• 18:35Lewis Howes?

  Is there anything about your religion that you feel like could improve or could evolve to

• 18:40Speaker 01

  A hundred percent.

• 18:40Lewis Howes?

  bring more peace to?

• 18:41Speaker 01

  I think that my religion, across the board, I think religions, but speaking specifically about mine, I think that without the leadership and interpretation of women, there is very little room for growth. I think anything without inclusive, and I'm not saying unilaterally a hundred percent women, what I'm saying is if you do not have the people most impacted by policy or by religious interpretation all at the table, then whatever is decided will never be representative of the communities it governs. So if I have a community where it's fifty percent women, fifty percent men, and all the rules are being set by men, then it will never be reflective of the people it governs. It will never be legitimate to them. I, as a young woman, didn't often go to the mosque, didn't feel welcome there, didn't feel like it was a place where I found most spiritual comfort.

• 19:25Speaker 01

  I actually felt a lot more spiritual in hospitals. I feel like the walls of a hospital here are more prayer than any congregation.

• 19:31Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 19:32Speaker 01

  And I think that unless we have that inclusivity, unless we approach religion with that level of inclusivity, religion, it just, it doesn't have the room for growth. It doesn't have the space.

• 19:41Lewis Howes?

  Do you think religion with that much power and that much time that's been around has the ability to change?

• 19:47Speaker 01

  I think it has to. I think it has to, I think we're still.

• 19:50Lewis Howes?

  Otherwise, people will just leave the religion.

• 19:51Speaker 01

  They're leaving, and it loses its power.

• 19:53Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 19:53Speaker 01

  I mean, it's interesting because I've been asked this question before and somebody disagreed with me. They said, "Listen, religion is never going to lose its power. It has all this land, and there's all this money, and there's all this like."

• 20:03Lewis Howes?

  Buildings and this.

• 20:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, there's, there's an established power. And that's true. It'll, there will always be an established level of power and, and structural power, institutional power. But that dilutes over time, especially if people don't adhere to it and if they decide to put their money or their energy or their effort elsewhere. So I think either religions learn to embrace. New ideas and new voices, or they are going to become less fit for purpose than they are, yeah.

• 20:26Lewis Howes?

  Are there any women making decisions in your religion?

• 20:29Speaker 01

  There are. Oh, no, no, there are. There's incredible stories about, I mean, there's Mershedat, which is a group of women scholars in Algeria who do significant work on domestic violence. And there's judges in Morocco that have been able to completely transform laws. And there's, no, there's incredible stories. I mean, Islam has a very rich history of women being very powerful. But as most religions in today's day and age, I mean, if we look at almost any sensitive conversation as it relates to women across the spectrum, so looking at the United States and the conversations we're having about reproductive rights in a country that's meant to be secular, there is a division between state and church. And yet, a lot of the conversations we're having have heavy religious undertones. And that's the same in the Middle East. A conversation that is not meant to have those undertones, they get brought in.

• 21:12Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 21:12Speaker 01

  And people are told, well, you should think this way because this is what religion says, even though it's not a conversation about that. And they get skewed a lot. So, education is a good example, where you'll have scholars that lean a particular way, say, okay, girls shouldn't be educated, even though religiously, you know, we have the Prophet himself saying, "I will stand between the gates of hellfire for a man who educates his daughters." So, you have these two different worlds, and those narratives are not getting out there with the same frequency as the more fear-mongering, terrifying, like, you need to do this, or else it's the end of your community and the end of life as you know it and the way of your life, etc. So, I think it's really about who holds the power and who we need at the table.

• 21:51Lewis Howes?

  What do you wish powerful men knew more about powerful women?

• 21:54Speaker 01

  You know, I actually, I think I wish powerful men knew more about other powerful men, if that makes sense. I wish powerful men, I wish powerful men asked themselves about what, I wish powerful men were more accountable for their actions. That is probably what I wish most for powerful men. I personally, I think you, it'd be tough for me to get through my work and for anyone to get through life if they felt everybody was, like, mal-intentioned. So, I tend to walk in turn and hope that's not how I view it. So, I assume that everybody, most people, I won't say everybody, I'm not that Pollyanna, but most people approach work and life with their best intentions. They might not have the same intentions I do. It might be the best intentions

• 22:39Speaker 01

  just for their family or just for their community. But I assume they're approaching life with intentionality in some way. And I wish that they took that intentionality. And they took that perspective. And they asked themselves just about accountability. So if this is the best for my family, who is it not serving? Or what is the impact I'm having? Or what could I be doing better? And I, you know, my dad, when we were growing up, always had this incredible quote. He would tell us about how God's mercy is mercy, mercy, God's mercy. But God's mercy is greater than his wrath. And so my dad would always tell us, no matter what you do, you can come and talk to me. And I think

• 23:17Lewis Howes?

  That's comforting.

• 23:18Speaker 01

  It's comforting. And I think he did that because my dad didn't always do that. When we were, when he, I think when he had like younger first kids.

• 23:24Lewis Howes?

  Punished them.

• 23:25Speaker 01

  It was, it was a lot more about like, I'm your father, you know, because I said so.

• 23:27Lewis Howes?

  Respect me, yeah.

• 23:28Speaker 01

  Exactly. And I think as we got older, he realized you can't, it's two on 11. Like you're not going to win this. This is not a game you're going to win. There's 11 kids. So I think he was like, wait a second, being loving is going to get me a lot farther than, you know, being their friend is going to get me a lot farther. And it did, because I would approach my dad and I would tell him what I was challenging with. And I genuinely believe, I view my dad in my life and in our community as a person with power. He was privileged, he was male, he had influence, he had power, he had credibility, people listened to him, they still do. And I recognize his ability to leverage his power to support his daughter so publicly, to support his family, to be so open, to be open minded, to be malleable, to, you know, to have compromise. He would say, either you convince me or I convince you. We won't leave the table before that happens.

• 24:12Speaker 01

  So to be that person, he, he really did look at the accountability of his power. And I do wish more powerful men, and to your, to your question, even more powerful women would ask themselves, okay, what am I accountable for? Because we can all look at, I can look at my metrics of what I've done today at work, but I'm also accountable for what I'm doing at home. And I'm accountable for who I am when, you know, people aren't watching. And I'm accountable for, those are all, I think, standards that we need to look at ourselves by.

• 24:37Lewis Howes?

  It's funny because my whole life, until about five to go, when I was talking about before, everything for me was a competition. It was win, lose. Because I played sports and that's all I knew was like, you win and you get the result or you lose.

• 24:50Speaker 01

  And that was the socially acceptable, you, you were a winner.

• 24:53Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, exactly. And if you were a loser, then you're a loser in your life.

• 24:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:57Lewis Howes?

  Like, that was your identity, you always lost, right? So I would. I wasn't intentionally trying to hurt people, I don't think, but I just always wanted to win.

• 25:06Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 25:06Lewis Howes?

  I always wanted to be right.

• 25:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:07Lewis Howes?

  Because I didn't want to feel like a loser.

• 25:09Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 25:09Lewis Howes?

  And it wasn't until I literally learned the concept of win-win at thirty years old. I probably heard it sometime when I was younger, but I just

• 25:18Speaker 01

  But it didn't penetrate.

• 25:18Lewis Howes?

  Didn't sink in.

• 25:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:19Lewis Howes?

  It was like, no, I have to win at all costs.

• 25:21Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 25:22Lewis Howes?

  And when I learned that principle, it transformed my life because it made me so conscious of all the decisions, all the conversations, every action.

• 25:30Speaker 01

  Me to be accountable.

• 25:31Lewis Howes?

  Very. And it made my, you know, made me more responsible with like the power that I do have.

• 25:36Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 25:37Lewis Howes?

  The opportunities I do have. And it's even farther, it's like, what's the win-win-win opportunity in every decision that I make?

• 25:44Speaker 01

  A hundred percent.

• 25:44Lewis Howes?

  Every action, you know?

• 25:45Speaker 01

  A hundred percent. And I tell people, because, because when we talk about privilege, somebody asked me, you know, okay, well, a friend of mine actually said, well, how do I leverage my privilege? And I said, the same way I leverage mine. We all have privilege and we're all this privileged in different spaces of our life. Some of us have exceedingly more, some of us have exceedingly less. But there are certain audiences, when I walk in, they're gonna listen to me more than when you walk in, right? Because they're gonna identify me, they look like me, they feel I have maybe same life experiences, et cetera. And there are some where you have that access and that point of view. So leverage whatever privilege you have to ensure that somebody else is part of that conversation. Or ask yourself, are you being accountable to that community? And when you said, okay, so I was always competitive, I used to, about five, six years ago, two years into my work, so I was twenty-three.

• 26:26Speaker 01

  And I used to, when people weren't doing something the way I felt it should be done, or when people weren't understanding my perspective.

• 26:34Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 26:34Speaker 01

  I would be like, this guy is doing this on purpose. Like, I've explained it multiple times, he's still not getting it, he just doesn't want to listen.

• 26:42Lewis Howes?

  What a jerk.

• 26:42Speaker 01

  I know, what a jerk. Seriously, I'd be like, I don't like, because to me, it didn't make sense. Like, you've, you've now heard this multiple times, I clearly, you know.

• 26:50Lewis Howes?

  I told you all the facts.

• 26:50Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 26:51Lewis Howes?

  That are all accurate.

• 26:52Speaker 01

  Like, I've laid it out, I'm pretty sure, you know, like, I've done this for you, I've done your homework, you just need to... And it wasn't until an older mentor of mine was like, it's not that I don't get it, I do. But I'm also walking in thinking of my organization and what my company needs. And so we all walk in, I mean, we can be all part of the same conversation and all have intentions that are good, but that are for you about winning and for me about something else. And until we recognize that you can win as well, I can too, we can all get there, but we actually just have to listen to each other and have a bit more of an open conversation and then be accountable for what we say and what we do. And I think that when it comes to power and leadership, a lot of people can get intention on board. It's a lot more difficult to be accountable for your actions.

• 27:34Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm.

• 27:35Speaker 01

  It's a lot more difficult. And so that is, that's probably the one thing I would want.

• 27:38Lewis Howes?

  So what are some of these conversations that you're having with? Is it mostly with companies or is it with politicians? Were you trying to bring peace or how does that work?

• 27:48Speaker 01

  So it's oftentimes like heads of state, ministerial level. And then, of course, we work a lot with corporations because corporations are a huge part of that engine of peace and sustainability. As I mentioned, civil society, we have conversations sometimes with military fractions or militias, so non-state actors. It really depends on the particular conflict. My personal favorite conversations actually are, and I had been mentioning this, that we did a talk at Merrill Lynch recently. And I said, listen, the difference between corporations and governments right now is super interesting to me because corporations are, for the most part, younger, more diverse, more bottom line thinking to a degree. You know, there, there needs to be an actual empirical output for them to make a particular decision or to follow through on something.

• 28:32Speaker 01

  And governments have not, have not gotten that same framework to, to significant, significant degree. So having conversations with both of them in the room, where corporations are steadily increasing a lot of their own political power and their own clout because they now have communication mechanisms they use on their own and they don't rely on governments to be able to have outreach, leverage or economic success has been very interesting.

• 28:55Lewis Howes?

  Wow. When you're working with two different people who have massive conflict or are disagreeing, what's the best way to bring the peace?

• 29:03Speaker 01

  I think mediating, usually just getting our, in peace negotiations and conflict negotiations, the number one rule is always talk about the most common denominator first. So if you know that one area of the agenda, one area of the negotiating agenda is going to be a lot more sensitive, you leave it a little bit later.

• 29:21Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 29:21Speaker 01

  Because in the beginning, yeah, usually you can bridge people on something they agree with and they can get to know each other.

• 29:26Lewis Howes?

  It's a bit smaller.

• 29:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, they can get to know each other.

• 29:27Lewis Howes?

  The little wins.

• 29:28Speaker 01

  The little, yeah. And, and, well, it becomes a bit more personal, but a lot less zero sum game, if you will. Because people are like, wait, Louis, you're actually a good guy. I know you, we agree on this.

• 29:38Lewis Howes?

  Right, right.

• 29:38Speaker 01

  And they'll be more willing to have negotiations.

• 29:40Lewis Howes?

  Believe in the same things.

• 29:41Speaker 01

  Exactly. But if you bring, if you bring the contentious issue first, people just get up and leave the table.

• 29:46Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 29:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, they won't, oh, they won't stay. Yeah, they'll leave the table. They'll be like, this is what you don't, you're completely. I mean, I've been in rooms where they've been like, you're barbaric. I'm not even wasting my time.

• 29:56Lewis Howes?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 29:57Speaker 01

  And they'll get up and leave. So if you can bring something that most people agree on in the beginning, start with some light conversation. Get people, get people to see each other as human. You can usually get much farther.

• 30:07Lewis Howes?

  Talk about their kids. Talk about something that they both agree on.

• 30:10Speaker 01

  Family is fantastic. I have, I will.

• 30:12Lewis Howes?

  Show me photos of your kids.

• 30:13Speaker 01

  I, I take photos of, so my niece is three, turning four years old. And she is, she has older brothers and one younger brother. So she is the only girl. And this is a family where the boys play Smash Bros. And all those video games, Fortnite, which we've talked about.

• 30:29Lewis Howes?

  Halo and whatever, yeah.

• 30:30Speaker 01

  And so she has two, two older brothers who are 19 and 16. And then one who's four. So across the board, she's seeing video games. And then she's seeing, you know, the, sorry, the five year old. Five year old brother who's now, you know, playing with, what's the game? Zelda. He dresses up as Link and he wants bows and arrows and all of that. So that's what she sees. So she wanted to be Spider-Man during Halloween. And I opened up with this story about this, my niece, Sophia, being Spider-Man. And how shocked, like how surprised parents were that she was still wearing her costume three months later and she called it her uniform. Like it wasn't a costume to her. And I always open up with that story because I don't have kids, so I can't use my own. But my sister's kids are totally up for grabs.

• 31:12Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 31:12Speaker 01

  And people, people put their guard down. Or I'll talk about watching reality television. And you'll have really intelligent people suddenly be like, oh, my God, me too.

• 31:20Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 31:21Speaker 01

  And they don't feel like they have to put on a show. Yeah, they don't, they don't put on a show. So you can, you can usually just talk with people, get them to get to know you. And then they're more, more willing to listen.

• 31:30Lewis Howes?

  Sounds like you've taught your niece well. She understands with great power comes great responsibility.

• 31:36Speaker 01

  Oh, you should, she actually, I used to. This is, this is the one best story about Spider-Man. So I told her, I was like, I'm gonna write a book about this. You're gonna be the superhero in the book. And she's like, I'm not, I'm not a superhero. I'm Spider-Man. And I was like, okay. We have, we have a bit of like, you know.

• 31:51Lewis Howes?

  Right, right.

• 31:52Speaker 01

  We can't really use that. There's copyright issues, but we're gonna, we're gonna work around it. So she's, she's very sweet.

• 31:57Lewis Howes?

  How many mediations have you done?

• 31:59Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 32:01Speaker 01

  A lot, I mean, over 100. On different issues, there's some that are on trade, there's some on health, there's some on economic growth, there's some on conflict. So, yeah, a significant amount, some on the Sustainable Development Goals themselves.

• 32:11Lewis Howes?

  Who are the two different parties usually you're working with?

• 32:13Speaker 01

  Usually?

• 32:14Lewis Howes?

  Is it a company and a government, two governments?

• 32:17Speaker 01

  It depends. Usually it's governments. So, I work with a lot of governments. That's an area that I tend to do well with.

• 32:24Lewis Howes?

  With governments?

• 32:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, with usually the state actors. So, governments, oftentimes corporations, yes. Those are the ones that we have, because most of the conversations of the past couple of years have been about the Sustainable Development Goals and about different metrics. So, if we're talking about gender equality, usually that's with governments and then civil society, or governments and corporations. How can we move the needle forward on women's rights in your community? What are we doing wrong? The government needs to earmark 15% of its budget on civil society specifically towards women's rights. Okay, women's rights organizations, what does that mean for you? Because you can get around those earmarks really easily. So, it's really about getting everybody at the table who usually have their ideas and their opinions and their talking points, and just making sure that those links are there and then getting them to sign the dotted line.

• 33:05Lewis Howes?

  What's been the most challenging mediation you've faced where you felt like, man, this might create a war or create some type of chaos that I didn't want to have?

• 33:17Speaker 01

  Honestly, a lot of the gender and reducing inequalities have been...

• 33:21Lewis Howes?

  Those are the most challenging?

• 33:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, for me, they are, because they're the ones that are most personal to me. It is a lot more about what you bring to the table as well and your... And so, for me, most things I can distance myself from, and I can be like, hey, we can analyze this, this is economic growth, this is what makes sense, this doesn't, et cetera. But for me, the gender equality, especially as it relates to health, so women's reproductive rights, if I'm sitting and we're trying to mediate a situation where we're saying, hey, this needs to be budgeted, this needs to be approved, this needs to be sanctioned, and I'm not getting the green light I want or I think is necessary, it becomes very personal. Because I know, you know, and the best example I use lately is abortion. I mean, I personally do not care what your personal opinion is on issues. I genuinely don't.

• 34:03Speaker 01

  I care about the fact that legally, when we're talking about a legal issue, I don't. Because if I care about everybody's personal opinion, then I keep trying to change their mind, and that's not actually what moves the needle forward. What moves the needle forward is being able to say, okay, here is a substantial legal legislative change that ensures this right. And... As a healthcare professional, as a woman, as a minority woman in particular, as a young woman, I mean, I know the data about abortion backwards and forwards. And we can make it illegal, but more women will go and they will try to do self abort. They will, and more women will die and will have higher crime rates 20 years down the line. Oh yeah, deaths, maternal mortality increases drastically if you make abortion illegal.

• 34:45Lewis Howes?

  Is that a Freakonomics episode?

• 34:46Speaker 01

  It is, it's a Freakonomics.

• 34:47Lewis Howes?

  Where they talk about like, when you're allowed to do abortion, then like the less crime 20 years later.

• 34:51Speaker 01

  Crime rates decrease 20 years later. Yeah, it's a huge issue. And so, but when you look just at the data for me, so when I'm sitting next to somebody who says, "Well, I don't believe in it and I don't agree with this," and I, for me, those are the most difficult negotiations because I have to really bite my tongue and be like, "I'm not trying to convince you as a person. You and I can disagree on so many issues." This is life and death for women around, country around the world. And if we don't start looking at, those are the tough ones for me. Because it's really, like, I can have my own personal opinions. I have my own personal opinions about a lot of things, but you feel a lot more accountability and responsibility when you know the decision made at that table will impact, will impact women for generations to come and societies for generations to come.

• 35:31Lewis Howes?

  I know we have a long way to go to get to gender equality, but what are a few of the rights that you believe, like, if we were able to get to these few things, like, soon, in the next few years, that it would drastically improve?

• 35:44Speaker 01

  Without a doubt, women's health and women's education. So if you look, if I ask you, what are the most cost-effective and practical solutions for climate change? What would your answer be?

• 35:54Lewis Howes?

  Cost-effective solutions for climate change? I have no idea.

• 35:57Speaker 01

  So most people will say like, "Oh, new energy, reducing emissions." It's actually girls' education.

• 36:02Lewis Howes?

  Recycling, whatever.

• 36:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's girls' education and women's reproductive rights.

• 36:05Lewis Howes?

  Why is that? How is that?

• 36:07Speaker 01

  Because when girls are educated, they get married later, they have less kids, they're more likely to vaccinate their kids. If 10% of the population of girls in a country are educated, they increase that economic GDP, that country's GDP, by 2% to 3%.

• 36:18Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 36:19Speaker 01

  If we were to equally educate.

• 36:20Lewis Howes?

  Why is that? Because they can work more.

• 36:22Speaker 01

  Because they can work. They get married later, they work, they join the workforce. Women reinvest 90% of their income into their local community as opposed to men.

• 36:28Lewis Howes?

  Their economy, yeah.

• 36:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, as opposed to men who reinvest 30% to 40%.

• 36:30Lewis Howes?

  They like to buy things, yeah, right?

• 36:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know. But they do, they like to buy things locally. It's a very sustained process, right? And so they create a cycle of education and employment in their community that is unique. And The fact that they're having less kids is important because you can reduce emissions as much as you want, but unless unless women are choosing not to have more children because they feel as though they are contributing in other ways, et cetera, you're not going to lower.

• 36:52Lewis Howes?

  And why does more kids in the world

• 36:54Speaker 01

  Population growth.

• 36:55Lewis Howes?

  Just causes more waste?

• 36:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:57Lewis Howes?

  Is that what it is?

• 36:57Speaker 01

  Population is waste, yeah.

• 36:58Lewis Howes?

  Waste.

• 37:00Speaker 01

  A higher

• 37:00Lewis Howes?

  Pollution, waste,

• 37:01Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 37:02Lewis Howes?

  Trash.

• 37:02Speaker 01

  And the risk becomes, because, again, this is the minority lens I bring to it, we've had, you know, people will be like, well, no, now you're saying that women shouldn't have kids, and that's not what I'm saying at all. What we're saying is women deserve the right to have the choice and the opportunity. And usually when women are educated, they choose to get married later, they choose to have less children. That's a choice they make because they see their opportunities as being wider. And so

• 37:25Lewis Howes?

  As opposed to only my role in life is to have kids?

• 37:28Speaker 01

  Which is what socially, in most countries, is a socially constructed role. Wherever you go, I mean, you could go to parts of the United States, you could go to parts of Uganda, parts of Libya, parts where people say like, your number one role, great, you can be a teacher, a doctor, but your your number one role is to sustain this community, right? And to have kids. And so I think, honestly, climate change, security, economic growth, almost anything you look at, girls' education, women's reproductive rights, if we could get those two things, you'll see more women in business because they'll have the education and the capability to go, they'll have cultivated an ecosystem, they'll, I mean, those two things. And I lump into reproductive rights, the ability to have children comfortably. So paid leave, you know, maternity leave, childcare.

• 38:10Lewis Howes?

  Not stressed to have kids.

• 38:11Speaker 01

  Exactly, exactly. Not this belief that, okay, you can't, like, it has to be a choice, right? So you have the choice to have kids in an organic, healthy way where you have support from social systems, so you have childcare, you have maternity leave, et cetera, or you choose not to have kids. But you choose that because you have the education, you have the opportunity to be able to sustain everything for yourself. So it really is looking at those two, because they open up the door for everything else.

• 38:32Lewis Howes?

  Wow. Are we having too many kids in the world? How many people in the world right now?

• 38:37Speaker 01

  A little over seven billion. A little over seven billion. The world's gonna continue to grow, that's not gonna change, right? And we're not gonna, like, I don't support anything like the one-child policy or telling women that they can't have kids either. I just, I fundamentally believe that there are a lot of things that happen socially, like child brides, where young girls are forced to do things that they should not be forced to do. And oftentimes, families do feel, this is where intentionality comes in. Because I used to think, like, how, like, how could you give your daughter away like that? How do you sell your daughter? And it makes you really pessimistic about the world. So you have to take a step back and say, okay, so this is what they felt was the only opportunity for them and their family and their daughter.

• 39:14Lewis Howes?

  Because they weren't educated.

• 39:15Speaker 01

  Or they weren't educated, exactly. And so it's, okay, how do we bring opportunity to these families to make different decisions? To make better decisions? And it, it really does start with education, it really does. Education, women's reproductive rights. Give women choices, give women opportunities, let them lead.

• 39:31Lewis Howes?

  Do young girls not have education? They not have the ability to go to school right now? What's the challenge?

• 39:36Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, if you look at sixty percent, sixty to seventy percent of illiterate youth are women. Women are more likely...

• 39:41Lewis Howes?

  I feel like it'd be a lot of, a lot of boys who just, like, don't wanna go to school.

• 39:44Speaker 01

  Well...

• 39:45Lewis Howes?

  I never wanted to go to school, I was like, get me out of here.

• 39:47Speaker 01

  Well, in many countries, you're legally required, though, right? So, in many countries, you have to legally go until you're sixteen, that's not the same case.

• 39:53Lewis Howes?

  Is it true?

• 39:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:54Lewis Howes?

  I don't know.

• 39:55Speaker 01

  And the huge drop-off is actually based on age. So you see a huge change for girls once they hit puberty. So once girls start getting periods in many parts of the world...

• 40:02Lewis Howes?

  They're embarrassed, or they don't wanna go.

• 40:03Speaker 01

  They don't go to school, there aren't sanitation, there's not proper sanitation. And obviously, when they hit puberty, they also become reproductive age.

• 40:10Lewis Howes?

  Or they, you know, reproductive...

• 40:11Speaker 01

  And so a lot of families...

• 40:12Lewis Howes?

  Trying to have kids.

• 40:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, we'll, we'll let them have kids. And then in many parts of the world, they do, they do work.

• 40:16Lewis Howes?

  They need to work.

• 40:16Speaker 01

  They sustain the family.

• 40:17Lewis Howes?

  At twelve, you gotta come work.

• 40:18Speaker 01

  Work at their family's tea shop, or whatever. And, and the reason, it's actually super interesting. We were in Bangladesh, I was in Bangladesh relatively recently, and we were talking with a family where the young girl did work at her family's tea shop. And I asked, okay, so why don't the boys? And they said, well, no, no, the boys can go abroad and they can get better education. They can bring more home for the family. They're, they're more able to migrate out and, and give us something back.

• 40:40Lewis Howes?

  Why is that?

• 40:41Speaker 01

  Whereas, because they can take care of themselves.

• 40:43Lewis Howes?

  It's less dangerous or something, yeah.

• 40:45Speaker 01

  So it's, it's this entire ecosystem where, I mean, if you walk in and ask people why they're making particular decisions, most families will come back to you. I personally believe most of the challenges that face young girls, women today, really do root back to family and to community and to what opportunities they had. And it really does come down to education and really their reproductive, their health rights.

• 41:07Lewis Howes?

  So if you feel like all women were able to have education up to, what, 18? Or as long as they wanted?

• 41:15Speaker 01

  As long as they wanted.

• 41:16Lewis Howes?

  But at least up to 18.

• 41:17Speaker 01

  At least, at least 12 years of quality, safe education.

• 41:20Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, they had that. Yeah, quality and they had the choice to...

• 41:26Speaker 01

  Get married, to not get married, to have kids, to not have kids, to have...

• 41:29Lewis Howes?

  And the choice to abort if they wanted to.

• 41:31Speaker 01

  If they wanted to abort, to abort, to have family planning and contraception.

• 41:34Lewis Howes?

  It's a safe choice, not like this pressure, like you have to do something. If you think those two things changed around the world, then what would happen?

• 41:41Speaker 01

  Oh, I think you'd see a lot more women leading companies. You'd see a lot more women leading countries. You'd see a lot more inclusive conversations around security and conflict. You'd see a lot more inclusive conversations around religion. Because a lot of the limitations that are most emphasized about women and faith relate specifically to education and women's rights and women's health rights. Those are where you find a lot of, oh, like, wait, no, let's, women can work, great. Let's have a conversation about women's reproductive rights. They can't family plan. And, and you can't have those two things are oxymoron. You can't have them in the same sentence. Because if you can't plan when you're having your family, it's unlikely you're going to get much farther ahead in work. Or if you can't plan when you want to get married, it's unlikely that you're going to have the independence and the ability and, and really the ecosystem to thrive in other ways. So we can talk... And I do, I started my organization and my first thing was to push women in political

• 42:26Speaker 01

  positions and economic power. And it took me a minute to step back and say, if we don't address the social challenges, we're not going to get to the point where women feel like they have the ecosystem or the ability or the confidence to do things like run for office if they never got the education. They start at a, you know, the obstacle.

• 42:42Lewis Howes?

  You can't put people in power if they haven't done the work.

• 42:44Speaker 01

  Well, and they won't even seek out. They won't seek out the power because they won't feel like they're qualified or they won't feel like they're capable of it. Or, you know, if you've been married at 12, oftentimes without your consent. Yeah. 12, 11, 13, if that's been something that's been decided for you, it's very difficult down the line for you to say, wait, I'm going to take the reins and I'm going to change my own situation. There's a lot more obstacles. It's doable. I know incredible women who have, who, I mean, Jahad De Kure, who is a FGM, Female Genital Mutilation Survivor, a phenomenal woman who got, you know, married quite young, forcibly married quite young, has done incredible work, has shifted the conversation, started Safe Hands for Girls, is a role model to other women. It's doable. There are those women.

• 43:28Lewis Howes?

  It's very challenging.

• 43:29Speaker 01

  It's challenging. There's so many more obstacles.

• 43:31Lewis Howes?

  What's the biggest challenge you face right now?

• 43:32Speaker 01

  Oh, myself.

• 43:33Lewis Howes?

  Because you're in your 20s, right?

• 43:36Speaker 01

  I'm 28, yeah.

• 43:37Lewis Howes?

  28.

• 43:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:39Lewis Howes?

  Do you feel like you get taken seriously when you're going into these high-powered, conflict resolution situations?

• 43:45Speaker 01

  Oh, gosh.

• 43:46Lewis Howes?

  Where they're like, you have no clue what you're talking about.

• 43:49Speaker 01

  100%.

• 43:50Lewis Howes?

  You're a woman, you're this, you're that, you're in your 20s, like, what do you know about business or government or?

• 43:55Speaker 01

  So when I was 23, I went to my first big, big meeting at the UN. And at the UN, they give you this wooden plaque and they etch your name in white. And they like, they really show up. And so, and this was like, I had a flip phone and I was still taking selfies. Like, I was committed. I was so proud of myself.

• 44:09Lewis Howes?

  And you were a doctor at this time, right?

• 44:10Speaker 01

  I was a doctor, yeah.

• 44:11Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Like, working in surgery or?

• 44:13Speaker 01

  No, I was working, I was with BLW. So I was working with my organization and I was on the advisory board for Resolution 1325, which is Women, Peace and Security. So it's a resolution the Security Council passed. To ensure that women can have, that women have leadership roles in conflict and peace resolution, but also that they're protected because there are often challenges that women unilaterally face in conflict. So I walked into this meeting, I had been prepared, I prepared, I prepared non-stop.

• 44:37Lewis Howes?

  You did all your research, you knew all the facts.

• 44:39Speaker 01

  Showed up early, showed up early, because I mean, come on, I'm an Arab, it's type A personality, but also a woman and a minority. So I knew that, you know, I had to show up before everybody else, had to be prepared to answer everybody's question because I was representing myself, and then of course, all Muslim women, young women. And so I sat at my chair, I was one of the first, and a young intern, a couple of years older than me maybe, came up to me, and she was like, you know, that's Dr. Murabit's seat, and I hear he's quite difficult.

• 45:02Lewis Howes?

  That you were sitting in?

• 45:05Speaker 01

  That I was sitting in, it's Dr. Murabit's seat, and I hear he's quite difficult. She's like, you can go sit in the back with the rest of the support staff.

• 45:12Lewis Howes?

  You're like, that's me.

• 45:13Speaker 01

  I know, but, but I had one of those moments, I don't know if this has ever happened to you, where you kind of like, watch yourself from far away, and I just picked up, and nobody, when I tell them this story, they're like, you didn't say something back, but like, I just picked up my stuff and I went and I sat in the back. It was like a really weird, it was one of those imposter syndrome things for me, where I was like, wait, what, what? And it wasn't until someone, my colleagues came in and they said, come back, sit at your seat, so I went and I sat, and I spent this meeting that I had prepared so much for, like, two hours, and I don't know if you do this when you're in the car or the shower, where you're like, oh, I should have said this, could have said this, this would have been perfect, this would have been the perfect rebuttal. So I did that for a good two hours, and about 10 minutes before the end of the meeting, one of my colleagues said something that just wasn't, didn't make sense.

• 45:56Speaker 01

  So I looked up, and I'm super thankful he did that, because as I looked around the room, they were all older men. There was not a single young woman at the table except for me. So when I spoke to the intern after, because we had a wonderful conversation, she came up to me and apologized, and was really, really gracious, which made me feel bad about all the mean things I was gonna say, she said, you know, I've never seen anyone who looks like, you know, me or you, like, at the table. And that I started a women's mentorship program after that for minority women and now men. I really began to think to myself, I always ask where are the young women when I walk into a room, where are the young men, where are the different, where's the inclusivity? And until we start leveraging our own positions of authority and power to bring it in with us, it won't happen. Nobody is asking, I mean, when I walk into a room, I don't think many people are asking,

• 46:41Speaker 01

  oh, wait, where are people who look like Ella? Or I very rarely will go like, where are people who look like Louis? You know what I mean? We always, we always wonder where we are, but I don't think it really crosses many other people's frame of mind to look for inclusivity in the room. And I think we need to start doing that a lot better.

• 46:56Lewis Howes?

  Hmm. What's the thing, the skill you think you could learn to improve everything you're doing more?

• 47:01Speaker 01

  Oh, I think I could be more empathetic and I think more kind to myself. Kind to myself and kind, I think a lot of my challenges with a lot of my work is that I am, yeah, yeah, I think.

• 47:19Lewis Howes?

  How often do you beat yourself up?

• 47:21Speaker 01

  I have five brothers and five sisters. And so if you think you wanted to win when you were young, it's not necessarily beating myself up. I usually, I usually think that if something wasn't accomplished, then I am partly at fault, or I could have done better, I could have listened better. And I, and I would say that's usually where a lot of challenges come from for most people. So yeah, being a bit more kind to myself, recognizing I can't do everything I want to do in a day, and that's okay. I think I would be a much better leader if, oh, and probably being less, like, I'm very type A.

• 47:53Lewis Howes?

  I can tell.

• 47:54Speaker 01

  Yeah. Well, I've been hiding it really well in this conversation, but I'm very type A, so, and I think they, the two of them are very connected. But I, but I would say being a lot kinder to myself and being a lot more empathetic to challenges that other people face, oftentimes people I disagree with most. So I can be very empathetic with.

• 48:14Lewis Howes?

  You don't have as much compassion for them?

• 48:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't. And it's, it's a, it's a bad, it's a bad, but I've noticed it especially recently as things are becoming more polarized, I will find myself in a meeting being like, you have all the power, you are economically powerful, you have privilege in this community, why are you doing this? And my level of compassion for them is very different than, for example, a single mother fleeing from a country. And I find. I find that would be a place I should probably work on because when I do kind of force myself to be like, you know what? They also have that personal baggage we were talking about and they also were raised by parents in a particular way and they're also

• 48:49Lewis Howes?

  They have some trauma or fears.

• 48:50Speaker 01

  Trauma, fears, probably being very intentional about, you know, making sure that they're they keep the money for their family so their kids can have it. Like if I give them the same assumption of of of positive intention, the conversation goes a lot farther, but it's so much harder for me to do that. It's hard for me to admit that, but it's hard for me to do that.

• 49:07Lewis Howes?

  What are the things you say to yourself when you're mean to yourself?

• 49:11Speaker 01

  Probably that if I had, my big one is if you slept more, you probably could have gotten that. Another one is I usually wish that my brothers, like I'd be like, oh, if your siblings were in the room, this would be a family joke. That's a big one. I have a very supportive family, but there's also high expectations. So it's a double edged sword. Those are probably the big two.

• 49:31Lewis Howes?

  The internal conversation, yeah.

• 49:32Speaker 01

  The internal, I have, I have a lot of internal conversations. But those are probably the big ones. The big ones are, you know, if you, you could have been on top of this. That's probably the biggest one. Like if you just

• 49:42Lewis Howes?

  Didn't do enough work.

• 49:43Speaker 01

  Yeah. If you planned differently, if you planned differently, you could have done this. And usually as I've gotten older, I've begun to learn there are usually things that are not necessarily always in my control. That could be true sometimes, but for the most part, I can't change a lot of things. So I've gotten much better at being like, you know what? If it happens, it happens. You know, I did the best I could. I put it all there, but if it didn't work out

• 50:05Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm.

• 50:05Speaker 01

  because of areas out of my control, but that's still very difficult for me. I I have a lot of trouble. So I do think like, oh, if you had showed up earlier, if you had spoken to them before the meeting and told them, for example, about your niece and they had that human connection with you, then when you sat down for the negotiation, they would have completely changed their minds. I write romantic comedies in my head about what, what I should have done differently.

• 50:24Lewis Howes?

  Do you feel like you connect more to people's heads or hearts?

• 50:27Speaker 01

  Depends on the person. It depends on the person. I think with people like my dad and myself, definitely heads a little bit. I'll throw in a few heart stories. I think hearts change their minds, but I think heads give them almost the personal permission to listen to me. So they almost assume I have more credibility and then they'll start having real personal conversations with me. So I think it's a mix of the two. And then there are some individuals that I don't need to really get into the statistics and the data. I can have a nice two-hour conversation with them and at the end they'll be like, you know what, I'm gonna research that more. So it really depends, but I think it's a good mix of the two, though.

• 51:02Lewis Howes?

  Who's the most inspiring leader in the world to you?

• 51:05Speaker 01

  Oh, my mom. My mom raised 11 kids. She raised 11 kids, moved from a country where she didn't know the language to a very, for her, hostile place. My mom.

• 51:16Lewis Howes?

  What's the greatest lesson she's taught you?

• 51:20Speaker 01

  Louis, why are you doing this? I don't know, maybe... So I have two older sisters. My oldest is a pediatric plastic surgeon, very successful, very in that way. And the second one is a stay-at-home mom, very successful. And they are both 100% dedicated to what they do. And I think the single greatest lesson my mom gave me was that she created an ecosystem where two girls, where all her daughters, my other sister's in medicine, my other sister in... Where all her daughters could aspire to be whatever they wanted to be and feel like, and make those decisions. My mom taught me that you get to make the choice. And she didn't get to make a lot of choices, so...

• 51:56Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 51:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:57Lewis Howes?

  Powerful mom.

• 51:58Speaker 01

  It is, she is. She's a powerful... My parents in general. My dad's gonna get so mad that I didn't say him too. He won't, but...

• 52:03Lewis Howes?

  What's the greatest lesson he taught you?

• 52:05Speaker 01

  Sacrifice. Easily.

• 52:07Lewis Howes?

  Sacrifice what?

• 52:08Speaker 01

  Sacrifice that sometimes, that great leaders, that great leaders do not put themselves first. That you do what you do for your... And he's probably the person who's taught me most about intentionality. That you do what you do for those around you, if you're good at doing. Sacrifice.

• 52:25Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 52:26Speaker 01

  How about you?

• 52:28Lewis Howes?

  Greatest leader or greatest?

• 52:30Speaker 01

  Greatest leader.

• 52:31Lewis Howes?

  I really liked the way Obama showed up with a a powerful and connected energy. I felt like he did a great job of his way of being.

• 52:43Speaker 01

  Mm hmm, of his message of hope.

• 52:45Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, his way of being and his presence and his ability to connect to people. Really enjoyed watching that and I think he delivered it well.

• 52:53Speaker 01

  Is that something you you personally learned from?

• 52:57Lewis Howes?

  I've never met him, but I mean, just by watching.

• 52:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, but something that you you?

• 53:01Lewis Howes?

  I just like, I'm always thinking about, you know, who are the people that are making the biggest change in the world? Who are the people that are making the biggest impact, maybe not directly?

• 53:07Speaker 01

  Who made the biggest change to you?

• 53:10Lewis Howes?

  You know, it's gonna sound. I mean, my parents obviously make huge impact on my life and they taught me a lot of everything almost, but I'm constantly learning from people. I mean, I'm learning a lot from you right now. Every time I sit down with someone, I ask questions and I like to learn from everyone. Doesn't matter if they're a person of power or?

• 53:30Speaker 01

  It's the most important lesson you've ever learned? That you feel like?

• 53:34Lewis Howes?

  I think, well, I think, ah, the thing that sticks with me the most is health. It's going back to health because without health, you can't make an impact in the world. If you're not fully feeling well, emotionally, spiritually, physically, you're gonna be in pain and you're not gonna be able to have the energy or the presence to show up fully.

• 53:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:55Lewis Howes?

  And so I think health is the key to a fulfilling life.

• 53:58Speaker 01

  Is that saying you can't pour from an empty cup?

• 54:01Lewis Howes?

  That's it, and I remember when Steve Jobs was talking about it in his last couple of months. He was like, I would give all these billions back to have like another year of my life, a week of my life, a day of my life, but the cancer took over. And he's like, I created this, you know, it's like through this this, you know, engine that he had for his desires, but I think that lesson. It's just why I get up early and work out. It's why I like try to get as much sleep as I can because I know that I'm not gonna be able to achieve my dreams if I'm not healthy.

• 54:30Speaker 01

  Exactly, if you're not taking care of you.

• 54:32Lewis Howes?

  That's it, and so. It's funny because you said sacrifice, but I think you've got to sacrifice a lot of other things to make sure your health is there for us.

• 54:41Speaker 01

  Oh, 100%.

• 54:42Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 54:42Speaker 01

  And I don't, I'm not necessarily sure that my parents taught me the lesson about health. My dad's a doctor, but doctors are notoriously the worst patients.

• 54:48Lewis Howes?

  Unhealthy, yeah.

• 54:49Speaker 01

  Oh my god, they're the worst patients.

• 54:51Lewis Howes?

  Horrible.

• 54:51Speaker 01

  Oh, horrible. So when my dad got diabetes, we'd be like, "Dad, you have to go for your checkup." "Got it." I went to medical school.

• 54:56Lewis Howes?

  But doctors don't learn about nutrition and don't learn about sleep.

• 55:00Speaker 01

  They're the, oh gosh.

• 55:00Lewis Howes?

  They learn about prescriptions.

• 55:01Speaker 01

  Not at all. Well, now there's, I agree with you on that one. I think, I think the previous generation of doctors, even when I went to med school, this generation, I'm actually super.

• 55:10Lewis Howes?

  It's more evolved.

• 55:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, because they have more wellness classes, they have more family health classes, which I like, and I think it's part of that connection we were talking about, about health and economic growth. It's because, for example, I'm Canadian, right? So in Canada, healthcare is taxed. You, you pay taxes and it's social, right? So I will, if you're, if you get a car accident, my taxes will go to you as much as they might come to me. Who knows where they'll go? And so there's a lot more interest in preventative healthcare. So the medical schools have really been shaped around this notion of, okay, if we want to prevent obesity and all the implications of obesity, the amount of money you're going to be spending on heart disease, the amount of money you're going to be spending on neurodisease, all of those things, then let's start talking about preventative. Let's talk about family health and let's talk about what kind of fruit you need to buy. And let's talk about, do we even have, I mean, because.

• 55:55Lewis Howes?

  Do we move our bodies? Are we walking?

• 55:57Speaker 01

  Not even just that, but do we have the right shops in the right neighborhoods? Like, can you even buy fruit in your community? And if you can't, why? Let's talk about the inequalities that exist. Because health is so fundamentally connected to the structures and the institutions and the community around you. So that's, I mean, yeah, I don't think, my parents never taught me the lesson about, like, okay, you take care of yourself first and then, but it's probably been a lesson I've had to self-teach. My husband is really good at it. He's very, like, he'll wake up at 4:00 a.m. and go for these super long runs and he'll be like, "It's an investment." Whenever I tell him, like, "I'm gonna go to this." Pilates class.

• 56:29Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 56:29Speaker 01

  But yeah, it's good. It's an investment. You should. It'll clear your mind. So that's been better. I have good friends who inspire me to do that. But but I think it's a harder lesson, particularly for women.

• 56:39Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm.

• 56:40Speaker 01

  To be like, hey, you need to prioritize yourself to get everybody else in line after you.

• 56:43Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. I think health has been a great lesson, but also just a growth mentality, a growth mindset, and the way that you continue learning, you know, education is so powerful. School not necessarily is powerful, but education is powerful.

• 56:57Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. And that's why it has to be quality education.

• 56:59Lewis Howes?

  Exactly.

• 56:59Speaker 01

  Because education means different things. It can be vocational. It can be community based. It can be really dismantling the structures and the norms in your own community that limit you. So it means so many different things.

• 57:10Lewis Howes?

  There's two things. My dad taught me a couple of things. First, I was raised in a religion that was created by a woman called Christian Science, and it was all about mind over matter. And so we didn't take medicine growing up because the religion was all about, we are spiritual beings and we can never be harmed.

• 57:24Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 57:25Lewis Howes?

  Physically. So my dad instilled this belief that I am a spiritual being, therefore I can never be harmed physically. Although it contradicted itself when I was like, why am I in pain? Why did this, you know?

• 57:35Speaker 01

  I think I need some medicine.

• 57:35Lewis Howes?

  Exactly, right? So it was over the top with it. But at the same time, he didn't believe in time. He was always on time, but he believes in like an infinity. He didn't believe that my age-

• 57:47Speaker 01

  Time is a social construct.

• 57:49Lewis Howes?

  He was just like, he never carried a watch. We never celebrated my birthday, and I never understood why. I was like, why are all these other kids celebrating their birthday? Do you not love me?

• 57:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:57Lewis Howes?

  You know, am I not good enough or whatever? And he goes, it's not about that. He said, too many people are held back by how young or how old they are on their dreams. He's like, I never want you to be held back. I want you to know that you can achieve or go after anything at any age.

• 58:11Speaker 01

  At any age.

• 58:12Lewis Howes?

  And so that was one of the greatest lessons he gave me.

• 58:14Speaker 01

  That's an incredible lesson.

• 58:15Lewis Howes?

  Because when I was in my early twenties, I just never thought that I wasn't able to do something.

• 58:20Speaker 01

  Because you were too young.

• 58:21Lewis Howes?

  Exactly. And I didn't have a degree, and I didn't have the skills, and didn't have this. I was like, I'm going to go after it.

• 58:27Speaker 01

  That's incredible.

• 58:27Lewis Howes?

  And um-

• 58:28Speaker 01

  But have you had like, have you made up on all the birthday cake you missed out on?

• 58:31Lewis Howes?

  I've had a lot of sugar, yeah.

• 58:32Speaker 01

  Okay, good.

• 58:32Lewis Howes?

  That's my vice. Yeah, it's my vice.

• 58:35Speaker 01

  As long, as long, the one thing I'm, I mean, be a kid of like, a kid in 11? Birthdays become a thing.

• 58:41Lewis Howes?

  Every week you got a birthday.

• 58:43Speaker 01

  Every week, but no, but my birthday became like, it was a birthday month because you only get one day of the year where you're just, you're the big deal. So I'd be like, my birthday is today. And from like literally 4am, I'd be like, where is my pancake cakes?

• 58:54Lewis Howes?

  Wow, my presents.

• 58:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, I wasn't really become presents. I just want people to celebrate me. It was a very selfish.

• 58:59Lewis Howes?

  Just do a song and take a video of me.

• 59:01Speaker 01

  Exactly, exactly. So as long as you've gotten to retroactively celebrate all those birthdays, then that's good.

• 59:08Lewis Howes?

  If you could solve one thing before your life is over, what would that be?

• 59:11Speaker 01

  One thing?

• 59:12Lewis Howes?

  I'm sure you'll solve many, but if you could solve one.

• 59:15Speaker 01

  Oh, no, I'm, we're lucky if I get one thing. I don't know, if you asked me like five years ago, I would definitely say, girl's education. I think that would be it. That for me is a big, not even just education, girl, like. Yeah, so for me, it's a mix of healthcare and education, but probably, I probably actually go more on reproductive rights now. Maybe it's because of my age, but ensuring that women have the choice of when they want to, to make certain decisions about their bodies and that they know that their bodies are theirs to make decisions about, particularly in, in the Muslim world. We don't have as many challenges with things like abortion, but we do with, with things like, okay, so your job is to be a mother. That reproductive mentality is definitely there. So that would be something I would hope to solve and really be able to widen the conversations there.

• 1:00:00Speaker 01

  But to be honest, I actually don't think that would be it. If there was one thing I could solve, I don't know. I don't have the answer to that question.

• 1:00:07Lewis Howes?

  If you could snap your fingers right now and something would be resolved.

• 1:00:10Speaker 01

  Oh, gosh. No, then if I could snap my fingers, it would be women's reproductive rights, that women around the world would have reproductive rights and would have, would also be able to have those, those conversations in their communities and in their families. Cause I think that silence and that almost like, no, this is, we don't talk about periods. We don't talk about whatever, makes it very difficult for women to see themselves as healthy and whole and human. And so that would definitely, if I could snap my fingers, that would be it.

• 1:00:35Lewis Howes?

  And what's the difference between education and empowerment?

• 1:00:39Speaker 01

  Well, I think so you can go to, and I did, right? So you can go to school, you can learn math and science and all of that, right? You can, and the best example here is I'll give you math. You can learn math and tell your grade 12, you do your arithmetic, your algebra, your calculus, whatever, and you can be the smartest math student. And then you can get your first credit card and checkbook and you can be in debt. Because you have no idea how numbers actually work. You're not empowered to understand.

• 1:01:00Lewis Howes?

  You don't understand personal finance.

• 1:01:01Speaker 01

  You don't understand it. And you're not empowered to understand what the implications are for you and what your role is in that and the accountability of it. Nobody sat you down and taught you that. And usually, I think empowerment is a combination of yes, understanding those basics and those foundations and knowing, yes, how to read and write. I do think those are very important, the basics of education. But also having the space in your own life to learn about the daily reality of life. And having the space to make mistakes and the community to pick you back up and to grow and to have people, particularly like I wouldn't be here if it weren't for incredible mentors. I know that. I, the arrogant half of me likes to be like, well, you know, I got here much, you know, quick, yeah, I'm a self-made woman. I got here pretty quick. But the reality is, a lot of people had to sacrifice for me to be where I am and a

• 1:01:45Speaker 01

  lot more people looked at me and said, I think I have an opportunity for you, or I see something in you, or I can leverage this for you, or, you know, would you like to go to lunch with me? And these little moments where I got to learn and got to absorb from really impressive, interesting people who ranged from everything from my sister, who is a stay-at-home mom who taught me probably everything I know about time management, as only a mother can do, to women who have led countries and have transformed the world. So, I mean, I wouldn't be here if it weren't for incredible women. And I think empowerment comes with mentorship. It comes with somebody sponsoring you in that growth. It comes with the ability to make mistakes and to have the self-awareness and education. And I think that's where education comes in, to know that that mistake isn't the be-all and end-all. It doesn't mean you're a loser.

• 1:02:29Speaker 01

  You can move forward, you can do better, you can learn more, you can change things. And I think the greatest thing education provides. Even, you know, the, especially actually, that in the school, reading, writing, I think it provides, for a child, it provides value to a degree. And it says, "You are worthy of learning, and you are worthy of knowing, and we're gonna invest time in you, and we're gonna invest effort in you." And I think there are a lot of kids in the world that don't get that feeling.

• 1:02:53Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:02:54Speaker 01

  So for me, that's what education and empowerment, I think, are. Two sides of the same coin.

• 1:02:58Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. This is called the three truths that I ask everyone at the end. So imagine you get to choose the day you leave this earth.

• 1:03:06Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 1:03:06Lewis Howes?

  Right? It could be many years, 100 years away.

• 1:03:09Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:03:10Lewis Howes?

  Whatever day you want it to be. You've achieved everything you want.

• 1:03:12Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:03:13Lewis Howes?

  You've lived your life fully.

• 1:03:15Speaker 01

  Oh, that'd be nice.

• 1:03:16Lewis Howes?

  You've...

• 1:03:17Speaker 01

  Alhamdulillah.

• 1:03:17Lewis Howes?

  You know, women's rights, reproductive rights, everything, education, it's all happened, right?

• 1:03:22Speaker 01

  Oh, fantastic.

• 1:03:23Lewis Howes?

  Everything you want to happen has happened.

• 1:03:24Speaker 01

  You're painting a really pretty picture for me.

• 1:03:25Lewis Howes?

  Exactly. I believe it, it will happen.

• 1:03:27Speaker 01

  Ashadu.

• 1:03:28Lewis Howes?

  And you've done it all. And it's the time for you to leave. You get to choose the moment. You know, your whole family, everyone's there celebrating you. It's a great peaceful moment, right?

• 1:03:37Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:03:37Lewis Howes?

  But for whatever reason, everything that you've put out into the world, your work, your videos, you know, writings, whatever it may be, it's gotta go with you. So no one has access to your information anymore.

• 1:03:47Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:03:48Lewis Howes?

  But you get to write down three things you know to be true. The three lessons that you would leave behind. And this is all people would have to have access to your wisdom, right?

• 1:03:57Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:03:58Lewis Howes?

  Let's just hypothetically.

• 1:03:59Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:03:59Lewis Howes?

  What would you say are your three truths or three lessons for humanity?

• 1:04:05Speaker 01

  Read more, like know history. I don't think anybody can make wise decisions without knowing the history of them, without knowing the roots of challenges. So if you wanna talk, for example, about when we were talking earlier about population, the nuances of that conversation are deeply connected to colonialism and to a history that is very powerful and very detrimental. So I think knowing history would be my first truth. Always know the issue and the history of the issue. Never take it at face value. Would be my first truth. The second would probably be there is nothing better... Than like a good family. Like not, not a good family, but a good, and it doesn't necessarily have to be your blood family. It can be friends you cultivate, it can be a community you cultivate, but cultivate

• 1:04:47Speaker 01

  a community that is on your side, because almost everywhere you go, you'll find people who aren't. And it's great to go home and to have people who say, you know what, you did your best. Because, because I talk down to myself sometimes, and it's good to have people whispering in my ear like, no, you shouldn't do that. You did awesome. You're great. I think we all need that. I think we all need somebody on our side. And the third would be, I mean, it's particularly to women, but I guess it applies to everybody, but never, never belittle yourself, because you give other people permission to. Like never speak, I hate when I hear, like my little sisters, they're in high school. I hate when I hear them say like rude words to each other, because I think you give permission to other people to talk to you like that. So never talk down to yourself, never, never speak to yourself, I think, never speak to

• 1:05:32Speaker 01

  yourself or to other young women in a way that is, is derogatory or, or negates their humanity, because I think you give other people permission to. And I think that kind of sucks. Those would be my three truths, maybe.

• 1:05:43Lewis Howes?

  I like those.

• 1:05:44Speaker 01

  Okay, good. It was like a pop quiz, I was worried I was failing.

• 1:05:47Lewis Howes?

  You passed the test.

• 1:05:49Speaker 01

  This is, see, this is the type of personality, like I didn't get to study, you didn't give me, like, next time I need to know.

• 1:05:54Lewis Howes?

  All the questions have to be beforehand.

• 1:05:56Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:05:57Lewis Howes?

  How can we support you? Where do you, where do you connect online with you?

• 1:06:00Speaker 01

  You can follow me on Facebook and Instagram at Alimuravit, or on Twitter at Alimura, and then of course, visit my website. We're putting together a book, I'm writing a book right now on the economics of equality. So a lot of things we talked about, about how the data and the heart and head really meet up when we talk about inclusivity. And when we talk about things like health, when we talk about education, there's both the empirical evidence, but also it just makes sense. Like it just, it really does for sustaining successful communities and families and prosperity planet, all of it, it really comes down to being as inclusive as we possibly can be.

• 1:06:33Lewis Howes?

  Can we preorder that book right now?

• 1:06:35Speaker 01

  No, no, not yet. But I will definitely send it to you when we can. And you can update the link.

• 1:06:39Lewis Howes?

  Okay, cool, we will.

• 1:06:40Speaker 01

  We'll work on it.

• 1:06:41Lewis Howes?

  What else can we do? How can we support you right now?

• 1:06:43Speaker 01

  And you can visit the Omniscience Institute. It's the institute that we do a lot of our work out of.

• 1:06:47Lewis Howes?

  Where's that?

• 1:06:48Speaker 01

  It's online, theomniscience.com. And we do a lot of work with local leaders in the most dangerous parts of Colombia and in the most dangerous parts of other countries, where we really focus on actually bringing a lot of this conversation to local communities that don't have access to things like the internet or schools or really the benefits that we get to have.

• 1:07:05Lewis Howes?

  Okay. Is there anything else we can do to support you?

• 1:07:07Speaker 01

  I mean, I think just be nice to each other.

• 1:07:09Lewis Howes?

  I like it.

• 1:07:10Speaker 01

  Listen, negotiate with each other. I don't know.

• 1:07:12Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 1:07:13Speaker 01

  I think that would probably be.

• 1:07:14Lewis Howes?

  You spend the most time on Instagram, Twitter? What do you spend the most time on?

• 1:07:17Speaker 01

  Um, probably Instagram lately.

• 1:07:19Lewis Howes?

  And it's @AlamMarabat?

• 1:07:21Speaker 01

  @AlamMarabat. Oh, and actually, there's one thing I always give a call to action, and this will probably be it. My friend Tara is here, and she's chuckling because I always do it. But I think the key thing, and I always tell this to almost every group, you know, I am, and I mentioned it, I am where I am, I think, because other people looked at me and said, you know what? This is something we can cultivate, and this is a person that we can support. This is a person we can provide. And yes, there's a lot of work that went into it, but there's also a lot of support. And I think that's probably the same truth for you. People who looked at you and said, you know what, Louis? You have something, or what do you need? Right? And I think my biggest call to action to men and women alike is think of a woman in your life. It can be a woman at work. It can be a woman at school. It can be a woman in your community. It can be a woman that you don't know very well. But think of a woman in your life

• 1:08:05Speaker 01

  who you know is capable, who you've seen do the work, who you know could use the support and leverage your networks, leverage your success, leverage your platform, leverage your voice to ensure that she's elevated in that space. So if that means you're at work and you know when you walk into a board meeting that there is a woman who works with you who would be perfect on that board, and there's questions you're not answering, leverage a bit of your power to say, hey, I think we need to open this board seat. Or if you know that you have this amazing podcast, you can say, hey, I'm going to leverage a bit of my voice and my community to ensure that other women can be elevated in this space. And the reason I say that... Honestly, it's because we can always talk about the amount of work and the amount of effort we put in, but unless we have somebody patting us on the back, that invisible pat on the back in the meeting,

• 1:08:48Speaker 01

  or that, you know, opening that door and turning on that light and pulling out that ladder, I don't think we can sustain women's engagement and honestly, I don't think we can sustain sustainable development, just empirically,

• 1:08:58Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:59Speaker 01

  without it being inclusive. So, open the door for a woman. That would actually probably, that's my number one call to action.

• 1:09:04Lewis Howes?

  I like that.

• 1:09:05Speaker 01

  Then you can follow me on Instagram.

• 1:09:06Lewis Howes?

  There you go, I like that, I like that. Well, I gotta acknowledge you, Al, for how you show up in the world because you're an incredibly human being. I love connecting with you and I hope we get to connect many more times.

• 1:09:16Speaker 01

  Oh, I hope so, I hope so.

• 1:09:17Lewis Howes?

  Hopefully, I can bring some of the heart to your head. I acknowledge you for the countless work that you're doing right now. I mean, you're constantly showing up, depriving your sleep every single night, what you need to stop doing.

• 1:09:27Speaker 01

  I'm gonna stop, I'm gonna stop.

• 1:09:29Lewis Howes?

  To serve humanity and to bring peace to conflicts and to help elevate women and help elevate all people who need more support, more education, more rights. So, I really acknowledge the work that you're doing.

• 1:09:41Speaker 01

  Thank you, it's a mutual appreciation society. I think, honestly, I said it when I first came in, the conversations you're having about the role of men and what masculinity looks like, I don't think women's rights can move forward if we don't have honest conversations about what femininity and what masculinity look like and how we're shaping these conversations with our sons and our daughters. And that's why I asked, how many times do women reach out to you? Because I know if I ever had a son, I'd be like, Louis, Louis, tell me what to do. He likes to win a lot. Is this an issue? Like, do I buy him the toy kitchen? What do I, come on, give me a heads up here. So, you know, I think it's incredibly important and it's definitely something I think is rare, courageous and takes a lot of personal vulnerability. And I thank you for that, too.

• 1:10:22Lewis Howes?

  My pleasure, thank you, I appreciate it. Final question, what's your definition of greatness?

• 1:10:26Speaker 01

  My definition of greatness? My definition of greatness is probably the same as my definition of success and it's the ability to know For me greatness would be like that day where I give you my three truths. If I know that I left no harm. It's leave no harm. It's the Hippocratic oath. I'm such a cop out. I'm a doctor. But it really is. It's leave no harm. And if I can't do it and I know I can't do it, then I need to get it out of the way. So somebody else more efficient can do it. It's it's try to leave a space in the world where either you've done good or you just haven't created obstacles for other people. You haven't created challenges. So my definition of greatness is people who recognize leadership means asking others for help when they don't know. That's something else Obama did quite well.

• 1:11:11Speaker 01

  It means using your privilege, your leverage, your platform. But it also means if you don't know what you're doing, get out of the way. Don't do any harm. I think that's the bare minimum that you need to do to be great.

• 1:11:23Lewis Howes?

  You're amazing. Thank you so much. Appreciate it.

• 1:11:25Speaker 01

  Thank you so much.

• 1:11:31Lewis Howes?

  There you have it, my friends. I hope you enjoyed this powerful, inspiring and moving episode. If you did, make sure to share with your friends. LewisHowes.com/703 for all the show notes in the full episode, the full video interview, the quotes, where you can connect and learn more about Dr. Allah Morabit as well. And make sure to tag this on your Instagram story. At Allah Morabit, at Lewis Howes. Let us know what you liked about this. Give us some feedback. We want to hear from you and share it with your friends. Text a couple of your friends right now that you think they would enjoy this specific episode. Again, a big thank you to our sponsors. And to reflect on what I really enjoyed about this episode is that I know there's so much pain and suffering and conflict in the world.

• 1:12:15Lewis Howes?

  And there are certain things that we could do right now to help eliminate so many things that are unnecessary, so many causes that are unnecessary, that are hurting us. And as John F. Kennedy said, if we cannot now end our differences, at least we can help make the world safe for diversity. So I ask you to. Be mindful of the conflicts you're creating and ask yourself, is this really worth it? Or can I negotiate in certain ways to create a win-win-win experience for my life and the people around me? So that we can continue to improve our humanity. I love you guys and thank you so very much. You know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.