Moment 15 - Ant Middleton: The Power Of A Positive Perspective

In these ‘Moment’ episodes of my podcast, I’ll be selecting my favourite moments from previous episodes of The Diary Of A CEO. Today, I’ve chosen one of the most powerful moments from my episode with Ant Middleton. Ant shares with us how liberating it can feel when you turn a negative into a positive and reveals just how easy it can be to shift your mindset to a more positive one. The truth is, failure and negativity aren’t always harmful to our success, in fact, Ant would argue that they’re both important in fueling our growth and becoming better as people. Episode 74 - https://g2ul0.app.link/HkxIXqbI4hb Ant: https://www.instagram.com/antmiddleton/ https://twitter.com/antmiddleton Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:05Speaker 00

  And there's nothing more rewarding in this world than flipping a negative into a positive. Because if you're willing, and again, if you're willing to work hard enough and you're willing to take the shit and the fucking and the bullshit and everything that surrounds negativity, if you're willing to dive into the centre of it and you're willing to work in order to flip it into a positive, then I guarantee you, you will find a positive in it. And I guarantee you that would be the most rewarding thing you ever do. It's like failure, it's exactly the same with failure. I look at failure and it's just, it's like a challenge to me. It's like, you can't do that and you don't know nothing about that, you're gonna fail at that. Well, listen, I'll tell you what, I probably will fail at it, but I'm not scared to commit because I know that the moment I commit to failure,

• 0:48Speaker 00

  I'll take two or three or four steps into failure and I might go, yeah, right, I haven't achieved that. But those three or four steps that I've taken, that's what I bank. Those moments in the moment, that's what I bank. A lot of people, they, they might take on failure and they might fail their objective. And they think, oh, I failed that, therefore I'm a failure. And they forget how far they've come. That just, it's completely automatically written off because they're going, oh, I failed that. Do you know what I mean? It's like, I won't, I won't go near that again.

• 1:18Steven Bartlett?

  That becomes part of your identity. I'm a failure.

• 1:20Speaker 00

  I'm a failure. So they, anytime failures, they think they're safety bubble, safety bubble, victim, but whatever. They won't go anywhere near it, but I love it. When negativity comes along and failure comes along, you know, I'm so intrigued on what I'll get out of it. I'm so intrigued what I'll learn from it. Because when you learn, you grow. When you grow, you become a better version of who you are. It's just that, it's that knock-on effect that it has. And failure is exactly that. Failure isn't going anywhere. I failed up to now in my life, I'm gonna fail to the day I die. So are you, so are you, so are you. Every single one of you in here is gonna fail. Whether you like it or not, it's just everyday part of life as much as it is breathing. It's surrounded by us. So why do we ignore it?

• 2:02Speaker 00

  If it's part of who we are and part of, part of, part of what's, what makes the world tick, then why don't we use it to our advantage?

• 2:09Steven Bartlett?

  Because the perceived cost of failure, whatever that might be, you know. Jenny at work is going to think I'm not so whatever and this person's going to write this about me. The perceived cost, especially in the short term, feels greater. It feels, and that's the same force of like the PC brigade or that, you know, it's like, it's better just to stay in your lane today and to just like put your head down, be quiet, because people think, and this is where it's wrong, people think that's the safest place to be. Reflecting on my own journey, when I went to university and I knew that I, this was a piece of shit and that I needed to quit, if I was actually going to become an entrepreneur, like it's, calling my mum and then telling her I'm dropping out and her telling me never to speak to her again, right? That was the resistance. That was the moment where life goes, stay in your fucking lane, right?

• 2:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:54Steven Bartlett?

  But when I, and people go, you were so, you were so brave.

• 2:56Speaker 00

  And then you're like that, you're grabbing hold of the wheel, you're like.

• 2:59Steven Bartlett?

  But my brain was so clear. The biggest risk, the biggest failure would have been staying in university and living a life not true to myself. So people say, oh, you're so much courage. Okay, courage would have been staying.

• 3:11Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 3:12Steven Bartlett?

  Right? And I think that's the, that's the thing. Of course, my mum says, oh, never speak to me again. And I don't speak to her for two years. But look at the upside of living my, even if I'd failed, like, look at the upside of being myself. And I think that's pretty much what I'm hearing from what you're saying is like, there's this, you know, the, there is the short time resistance where it's like, oh my God, if you fail, you're going to lose it all. So no, you'll lose it all if you don't try.

• 3:32Speaker 00

  It's exactly how, the thing about it is the way that your mindset thinks in it is, it's not a complicated way of thinking, Steve. Do you know what I mean? It's like, it's, it's so simple, really, so simple, stupid, that it's almost incomprehensible. And everything that I do, and you just said it then, and what you just said there makes complete sense to me. Every single word that you said about that story, I'm like that. Yes. It's like, it's obvious. Like, why wouldn't you do that? Right? But sometimes the most obvious things that are the hardest to process, the hardest to achieve. And with my books and, and my tours, you know, I don't get people coming off my tours going, Anne, you

• 4:15Speaker 00

  know, I've tapped into this part of my brain now. Thank you for this. It's like, they come off my tours or read my books and go, Anne, it was always in there.

• 4:23Steven Bartlett?

  Yes.

• 4:23Speaker 00

  You just gave me this kick yourself moment where I'm just like. How did I not see that? How did I not? You put it in such lame in terms because I'm I'm a simple man. Do you know what I mean? I'm not I'm not an intellect. I'm not a bookworm. I'm I'm I'm a I'm a simpleton. I'm a simple man. I keep things. The way that I get to my answers is good, bad, right, wrong, positive, negative, yes, no. Do you know what I mean? I keep it.

• 4:45Steven Bartlett?

  It's listening.

• 4:46Speaker 00

  But it's listening to to who I am. And it's it's the most simplest way of of of getting to where you need to be. But we let the constraints and the bullshit and the complications of society and what other people think cloud all of that.

• 5:06Steven Bartlett?

  I almost see it like two dials, right? One of them is this voice inside, which everyone has in them. They're saying, go and dance in the hills of Costa Rica. And then there's this other really loud dial, right? The sound dial. And it's society and your mum and your whatever. And that one's saying, go be a fucking lawyer and shut up, right? And in all of our lives, I think one dial is a little bit higher than the other. And the the the challenging thing, but the most important thing you can do if you want to reach your potential, be happy, avoid mental health issues, avoid midlife crises, is to like turn up the internal dial and just try and get that that other dial, which is society's voice, right down to to fucking zero, right? And and I and I just, do you know, and I just feel if everyone could just do that in their own lives, which is not easy to do, because listening to this

• 5:49Steven Bartlett?

  internal voice is going to come with real resistance. People are going to cancel you. They're gonna, my mum's gonna not speak to me for years, right? But that's the short term cost for a long term gain. And as is the way with comfort, I see like comfort and like avoiding that resistance is a, it looks like a friend. It's a short term friend, but a long term enemy. And if you know, if you'd, if you're in the moments where you've said you've been like cancelled, quote unquote, had you caved, short term friend probably would still have a show or two.

• 6:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, of course.

• 6:18Steven Bartlett?

  Long term.

• 6:19Speaker 00

  But long term. And I say to people, what you've got to realise is that you are with yourself 24 hours a day for the rest of your life. No one else.

• 6:30Speaker 00

  Can even come close to that. No one else will will even come close to that. So you are with yourself. Your whole life. People, they come and go. Situations, they come and go. So ultimately, you've got to live with yourself first. Before you try and live with anyone else, before you try and live with any situation, before you try and put yourself into any environment. That's what I say to people and I go, well, I'm like, you're with yourself twenty four hours a day to the day you die. Nothing comes close to that. No one comes close to being anywhere near that. That's the person you've got to honour. That's who you are. Yeah. So that's the person who you've got to honour. That's the person that you've got to make ha- make happy. The boss. That's the boss, right? That's the person. It's impossible to please that voice and that voice, right?

• 7:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, but please yourself and and ultimately, you know, what comes out, it will, you know, should should be, war should be authentic, should be true. So and then you'll find your belonging, you'll find your circle, you'll find your like minded people, you'll find your your your, yeah, you'll find your belonging. It's like, you know, you must know, as you get more successful, as you, you know, you start thinking, you start changing, you start evolving your mindset more and more and more and more. Your circle gets smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller. I'm happy with that, you know, I'm I'm happy with that because not that I'm above anyone or below anyone, you know, we're we're just on different ends of the spectrum.

• 7:50Speaker 00

  Okay, because guess what? I'm gonna keep evolving. My mindset's gonna keep changing. I'm gonna keep getting wise. I'm gonna keep getting more knowledgeable and to keep being honest with myself. Now, for me, that's my purpose in life, nothing out there. You know, it's nice to have the nice cars, the nice houses. Don't don't get me wrong. It's nice to have money. I've had no money and now I've got money. I know which side I'd rather be on, okay? That's all, but that's all that comes part and parcel with with being true to who you are. Um, and my purpose in life, which is I will never achieve, but which is I find fascinating, is

• 8:25Speaker 00

  trying to get the best possible version of Ant Middleton, trying to get to that. Okay, but knowing that I never get to that answer because I'll be on this constant progression of becoming a better version of who I am. But I never become the best version of who I am because that's when you're perfect. That's when you're one hundred percent you and that's not real, it doesn't exist. But the purpose of getting closer and closer and closer and closer to that answer.

• 8:55Speaker 00

  It's such a fascinating journey for me that there's nothing that comes close to it. Hmm. There's nothing that comes close to it. And whether I have the the counselling or or the the shows that keep coming or the TV production companies that call me now and the channels that go, whether I have failures or whatever it may be, all of these, everything. Hmm. That bounces in towards me is a is something to learn from. And it's a lesson and it's gonna, I'm gonna learn from it and I wanna grow from it and I wanna get closer and closer to the answer, closer and closer to to my objective, closer and closer to my purpose. And that is to try and get as close as I can to being the best version of myself.

• 9:40Speaker 00

  And I'm fascinated with that. I'm addicted by it. I'm I'm addicted to it. I'm I'm obsessed with it. Um, so like I said, when I get that Thanos moment, I'm I'm I'm like, bring all this negativity at me, bring it, because I'm just churning away at it. Doesn't mean I'm always happy. You know, I'm not always happy, you know, I'm I'm, you know, I don't go around sprinkling positive fairy dust. I'm not that type of preacher, right? But I preach, you know, working on your mind to make it positive, you know, you know, challenging negative situations, thinking, what is negative situation? I've got to tackle it with a positive mindset. Make a concerted effort to train your mindset to think positively, to flip the script from this default mindset where everyone, you

• 10:21Speaker 00

  know, thinks, you know, thinks negatively. Um, and I love working at that. I love working at that. So all of this stuff that you give me, it does. Once I go, because I go quiet, like this last week has been a media storm and I'll go quiet and I'll be with with my family, I'll be with my management. They're like, Anne, you're quiet. And I'm like, I'm quiet because I'm churning away at negativity. I'm not unhappy. Don't get me wrong, listen, but I need to be left alone for two, three days, maybe a week. Because there's so much negativity coming in and I'm chipping away at it, trying to find the light, no, nothing there. Trying to find the light, trying to find, ah, boom, bang, da da da. And then. I bank this positivity and then the next week I'll be boom back to Ant.

• 11:04Speaker 00

  Do you know what I mean? Back to this positive, naturally positive person because I've trained my mind to think like that. I'm always in a positive headspace.

• 11:12Speaker 00

  But sometimes I'll go quiet, doesn't mean I'm always happy. So don't get, don't get positivity mixed up with happiness. Yeah, yeah. Because they're two completely different things and happiness comes from. Yeah. In knowing who you are, you know, it comes from, from being true to who you are, knowing who you are. You could be the poorest man in the world and you could be the, you know, you could have no one or nothing, but you could still be happy. You know, or you could be the richest man in the world and you know, you know, you know the script.