After Hours at the Bar! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! MEET & GREET SIGN UP: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScLUmBhmeLHRhnkFpXkZD15foLanoepaJrPRBQm08Pzir5cHA/viewform?usp=dialog AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored by: Hollow Socks: For a limited time Hollow Socks is having a Buy 2, Get 2 Free Sale. Head to https://Hollowsocks.com today to check out their huge sale. Rocket Money: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to https://RocketMoney.com/GARBAGE today. Uncommon Goods: To get 15% off your next gift, go to https://UNCOMMONGOODS.com/ayg Promo Code: AYG Factor: Eat smart at https://FactorMeals.com/garbage50off and use code garbage50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00H. Foley?

  Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, we are giving away free VIP packages to come back and meet me and Kippy after the show. Get a little merch, enjoy yourself, and hang out with me and Kippy.

• 0:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, we're gonna be backstage. You just have to purchase your tickets before December 1st. Click the link in the description to sign up, and we're gonna announce the winners. We'll see you there. Love ya. AreYouGarbage.com. Yeah.

• 0:21H. Foley?

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

• 0:46Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 0:46H. Foley?

  It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that they're going to be classy.

• 0:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:51H. Foley?

  Or just a big old piece of trash.

• 0:52Speaker 01

  Trash, trash, trash.

• 0:53H. Foley?

  I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Toody's in the new addition. She just told me she just had a protein shake.

• 1:00Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:01H. Foley?

  My co-host is coming at you from across the table.

• 1:06Speaker 01

  I don't get it.

• 1:06H. Foley?

  He is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He's an international businessman, father of the year, and when he walks through a Home Depot, they all kneel, because he's the king of the barbs, baby. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everyone.

• 1:18Speaker 01

  What up, gang? Shout out to you as always. Thanks for tuning in. Please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify, and the boys are in the middle of the charge.

• 1:30H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:30Speaker 01

  That's where we belong. We're not showing off. We're not making headlines.

• 1:34H. Foley?

  We're not making moves on anybody.

• 1:36Speaker 01

  But we're not falling.

• 1:36H. Foley?

  We're there.

• 1:37Speaker 01

  We're not falling behind. We're at the party. We're having a good time. You look over, we're vibing. We're vibe guys. Uh...

• 1:42H. Foley?

  Philly show.

• 1:44Speaker 01

  Philly show.

• 1:44H. Foley?

  Big show.

• 1:45Speaker 01

  Big show in Philadelphia. Obviously, we've been plugging the balls off of that. We want that to be a fucking hum-a-dingy.

• 1:50H. Foley?

  Yes, sir.

• 1:51Speaker 01

  Biggest show we've ever done. And then if you haven't seen the post, the amount of...

• 1:56H. Foley?

  New merch drop?

• 1:57Speaker 01

  New merch? Holy shit, I forgot about it. The boys got a lot going on over here. Got the new merch drop.

• 2:01H. Foley?

  Got the garbage. You got the, uh, trash, trash, trash.

• 2:05Speaker 01

  You're just making stuff up, don't you? You got the tootie. It's all just things in our world. You got the Bug Man? We do. Go check out the merch, obviously, on the website. And then we just announced a whole slew of new shows, daddy-o. We got Austin, Texas. We got Tampa, Florida. We got Chicago. We got Bloomington. We got Nashville. We got Pittsburgh. We got Cleveland. Get your tikkis. The boys are hanging.

• 2:26H. Foley?

  Some club weekends in there.

• 2:28Speaker 01

  Boys are doing club weekends.

• 2:29H. Foley?

  Looking forward to it.

• 2:30Speaker 01

  Hanging out, doing a long club weekend.

• 2:32H. Foley?

  They'd be like, real comics get to go out on a Saturday during the day.

• 2:36Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 2:36H. Foley?

  See the town. Have lunch.

• 2:39Speaker 01

  Just packed a lunch. Get it up, boy!

• 2:42H. Foley?

  By the way, I didn't realize, I have a dented can.

• 2:44Speaker 01

  Ah dude, I saw, I don't, did you dent that, or no?

• 2:48H. Foley?

  No, no, they didn't dent when I felt.

• 2:49Speaker 01

  You have such dented can vibes as a guy. If a guy was a dented can, it'd be you.

• 2:54H. Foley?

  Dented can and crooked heaters. Remember that one I pulled out at the airport the other day?

• 2:59Speaker 01

  Dude, I look-

• 3:00H. Foley?

  It was like right before the firing squad.

• 3:03Speaker 01

  Looked like a piece of lost luggage.

• 3:05H. Foley?

  By the way, I just saw they executed a guy by firing squad. You still doing that?

• 3:09Speaker 01

  Can you, um-

• 3:10H. Foley?

  Did he get a blindfold in the heater?

• 3:11Speaker 01

  Some places you can chew, that you at least, not, yeah. Like a Mad Libs.

• 3:16H. Foley?

  But can I drink this, or is this gonna have botulism in it?

• 3:18Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 3:19H. Foley?

  I don't know, they're bad.

• 3:21Speaker 01

  Botulism will kill whatever you got going on. Um-

• 3:25H. Foley?

  Mmm. Taste of tetanus flavor.

• 3:29Speaker 01

  Araby's. Um-

• 3:30H. Foley?

  I scared of Araby's.

• 3:31Speaker 01

  Some places, I think there's still, like, on the books that you can say, "I wanna go this way," but I don't think you really can.

• 3:37Speaker 02

  You can.

• 3:38Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 3:38H. Foley?

  You can. You can decide.

• 3:40Speaker 02

  I think there's a shortlist of ways to go, and firing squad is one of them.

• 3:44Speaker 01

  What's the, where, is this state by state? Cause not every state is wack.

• 3:47Speaker 02

  This is in South Carolina.

• 3:48Speaker 01

  God, I think-

• 3:50H. Foley?

  Probably muskets. Can I choose to get fucked to death?

• 3:56Speaker 01

  I wanna do Death by Huies.

• 4:00Speaker 01

  Uh-

• 4:01H. Foley?

  I meant the other way, but alright.

• 4:02Speaker 01

  Um-

• 4:03H. Foley?

  Nothing on that?

• 4:05Speaker 01

  I, uh-

• 4:06H. Foley?

  And how'd you not get the tootie?

• 4:08Speaker 01

  A protein shake.

• 4:09H. Foley?

  Cause you're a dad. You're an old man. You don't like rock and roll no more. What do you think I mean? She just had a protein shake.

• 4:17Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 4:18Speaker 02

  I just gave it to you.

• 4:19H. Foley?

  You get it? Yeah, look at Luke.

• 4:21Speaker 01

  It's a beech?

• 4:22H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 4:23Speaker 01

  Why is that a-

• 4:24H. Foley?

  That's what they say semen is, it's protein.

• 4:25Speaker 01

  Listen, I don't know what kind of circles you're running in, but I'm running a clean ship over here. I run a clean shop, alright, that young-

• 4:31H. Foley?

  The missionary man.

• 4:35Speaker 01

  Listen, I don't know, you're doing your snowballs on a weekend, I'm over here-

• 4:39H. Foley?

  Do you have a crucifix above the bed now that you're a dad?

• 4:42Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 4:42H. Foley?

  Little palm on the door?

• 4:43Speaker 01

  You do, you do get, uh, you do understand, uh...

• 4:48H. Foley?

  Man, wait till he gets older and you're yelling at him and say, "Hey, get in there!"

• 4:51Speaker 01

  Wait.

• 4:52H. Foley?

  Scrub them elbows!

• 4:53Speaker 01

  I had, I hit him whatever today. Where the hell you going? Rolling all over the place.

• 4:57H. Foley?

  Can't you walk?

• 4:58Speaker 01

  I know, he knows. He knows.

• 4:59H. Foley?

  He's rolling around?

• 5:00Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 5:01H. Foley?

  Like barrel rolls?

• 5:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:03H. Foley?

  I used to love that.

• 5:03Speaker 01

  You got a big head and you're fucking... Some of you go, "You should be rolling straight," but it's, he's like, he's got like a, he's got like a, you know, the tire pressure's bad or some-

• 5:11H. Foley?

  Like a drift car. Like the sprint cars.

• 5:14Speaker 01

  He keeps going in circles, you know what I mean? His head stay, his head is the axis and he walks around that.

• 5:20H. Foley?

  Man. Do you watch 60 Minutes every night now?

• 5:23Speaker 01

  Uh-

• 5:23H. Foley?

  On Sundays?

• 5:24Speaker 01

  I don't, but I do have to be honest with you, I am finding a lot of, uh...

• 5:29Speaker 01

  Solace and comfort in knowing that, like... I'm a home, more of a homebody now, you know what I mean? It's nice to like-

• 5:38H. Foley?

  As opposed to your extravagant nightlife that you were living before.

• 5:43H. Foley?

  Oak room?

• 5:44Speaker 01

  I was just doing-

• 5:45H. Foley?

  Popping bottles?

• 5:45Speaker 01

  No, we just did these jokes to you, you can't fucking flip it.

• 5:48H. Foley?

  What'd you give these jokes to me?

• 5:49Speaker 01

  I can't believe I'm walking around New Orleans having an ice cream cone. You really, you really romanticize your ni- I'm not saying that. I'm just saying, uh... Yeah, I just, I find a lot of, uh, you know, I'm not worried about the running around in spots, the having beers with my jerk off buddies-

• 6:10H. Foley?

  Chasing skirts around.

• 6:11Speaker 01

  Uh-

• 6:11H. Foley?

  You gotta grow up.

• 6:12Speaker 01

  It's just a lot of, you know, you, you find the joy in just, uh, being with your family.

• 6:17H. Foley?

  Hmm.

• 6:17Speaker 01

  You know what I mean?

• 6:18H. Foley?

  That's key.

• 6:19Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 6:21Speaker 01

  Cut that. And we're big. You know what I'm talking about, right? Your family still answer your phone calls.

• 6:28H. Foley?

  They're looking for tickets for that Philly show, yeah.

• 6:31Speaker 01

  Sure, I did. I've mentioned a little bit, but I do want to say we did, um, what was it, a couple, whatever, two weeks ago, we did Preston and Steve.

• 6:38H. Foley?

  Yeah, great, good time.

• 6:40Speaker 01

  And that was a show I grew up in a pickup, I mean, like, from my twenties when I was working for my family, you know, driving a pickup truck, I was listening to that. And I mean, that was the first time I heard about Burt Kreischer. I was sitting at Bustleton in Street Road, and he had, I'm like, this guy, he was telling the machine stories. I called up my boy, I say, we gotta get friggin' tickets.

• 7:02H. Foley?

  That's when he was doing those daytime shows, right?

• 7:04Speaker 01

  We did not get tickets. We just ended up getting fucked up at the Bridgeport Pub.

• 7:10Speaker 01

  But, uh, yeah.

• 7:11H. Foley?

  Couple of pros to Preston and Steve.

• 7:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:13H. Foley?

  Sharp, bang, bang, bang, back and forth.

• 7:14Speaker 01

  Uh huh. And it would, dude, my mom, my mom, I tell you, Denise called me. "I heard your show on the radio."

• 7:21H. Foley?

  You're on the radio this morning.

• 7:23Speaker 01

  I know, I'm like, given, dude, those guys are awesome, I love that. And it's just so funny that they're like, of all of the stuff we've accomplished, my friends and family came at, Pat texted me, he goes, "What was it like being in the studio?" I go, "What the five, what are you talking about?" I think it was cool, but still, what?

• 7:40H. Foley?

  The hell's this dump?

• 7:41Speaker 01

  My mom, I, she called me again yesterday, "I told you I heard the show." I go, "You're looking for money or something." What does that pay for a guy, what? Wet and Herbie, she wants 10%.

• 7:53H. Foley?

  Let me find out she's slipping. I'll have her on the phone with you, "Hang me, and I've been married for 12 years."

• 8:01H. Foley?

  Send you off to boarding school. I'll tell you that right now. I have a good idea for a Christmas present for you. I'm gonna get you a subscription to the newspaper.

• 8:09Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 8:09H. Foley?

  So you can walk down to the end of the sidewalk and get it.

• 8:12Speaker 01

  Why would I have a subscription, I still gotta go get the fucking thing?

• 8:15H. Foley?

  No, they throw it in the driveway.

• 8:16Speaker 01

  Oh, oh, in the bird.

• 8:17H. Foley?

  I'm gonna specifically hire a paper boy to throw it in the wrong place. Goddamn in the bushes. So you gotta walk down in your robe.

• 8:24Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 8:24H. Foley?

  I'll get you a robe too.

• 8:25Speaker 01

  I'm not a robe guy, I don't look good in a robe, I'm too wide. It don't look good, it doesn't cinch well.

• 8:30H. Foley?

  Negligee.

• 8:31Speaker 01

  I'm not, I'm nighty, something.

• 8:33H. Foley?

  Which, by the way, can I tell you this?

• 8:35Speaker 01

  I don't know where this is going.

• 8:36H. Foley?

  I was over at, uh, Five Below the other day, okay?

• 8:42Speaker 02

  A lot of good lingerie there.

• 8:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:44H. Foley?

  I swear to god.

• 8:45Speaker 01

  It's also like you're making fun of my rock star lifestyle. I was over if I- what the hell is a guy like you doing?

• 8:51H. Foley?

  I'm getting my vitamins.

• 8:52Speaker 01

  Getting, doing it five below.

• 8:55H. Foley?

  I was getting vitamins.

• 8:56Speaker 01

  That's where they take kids once they see, that's how you start potty training kids. Hey, if you go in a potty, I'll take you to five below. So I can start doing to you.

• 9:03H. Foley?

  I was with some people.

• 9:04Speaker 01

  Stop peeing on the floor.

• 9:05H. Foley?

  But they had these, uh, Christmas, um, like pajamas for broads. And they're like skimpy short shorts and like a little top.

• 9:16Speaker 01

  You like that too, don't you?

• 9:18H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 9:19Speaker 01

  So I bought three pair.

• 9:20H. Foley?

  And no 5X. Squeeze my little ass in there. Anywho. Gang, this is what we call a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies, just the way we like it, especially around the holiday season.

• 9:34Speaker 01

  That was a quick downshift you just did. Throwing a brake retard. Fucking double clutch drop that thing.

• 9:42H. Foley?

  Pull the e-brake? I always wanted to pull the e-brake. I always wanted my brakes not to work so I could pull the e-brake.

• 9:48Speaker 01

  I've had to do that.

• 9:49H. Foley?

  Yeah?

• 9:49Speaker 01

  And remember when the, remember?

• 9:50H. Foley?

  Somebody cut your brakes? It pissed a lot of people off, don't it?

• 9:53Speaker 01

  I thought it was my stepdad for a long time. Remember my brakes went in a Montego? We went on a road trip. Remember that?

• 9:59H. Foley?

  That was wear and tear.

• 10:01Speaker 01

  I don't know. He inspect, it sat for a long time. And then...

• 10:05H. Foley?

  These, they sound like the fucking Titanic hitting the iceberg.

• 10:07Speaker 01

  I mean, we've talked about it, but that was, my, my Montego was the big, I mean, I, I've had dirtbag car after dirtbag car. The Lumina, I had two Luminas. I wrapped one around a telephone pole and then replaced it with the same exact car. My brother also, so at one point we owned three 1995 Chevy Luminas. Two white ones and a silver one. Or a powder blue or something like that.

• 10:26H. Foley?

  I might take that one off your hands.

• 10:28Speaker 01

  What one?

• 10:28H. Foley?

  The one you got.

• 10:29Speaker 01

  No, you're not.

• 10:30H. Foley?

  I might.

• 10:30Speaker 01

  I love that thing.

• 10:31H. Foley?

  I'll steal it.

• 10:32Speaker 01

  Neighbors hate it.

• 10:33H. Foley?

  Hotwire it.

• 10:34Speaker 01

  Go for it.

• 10:34H. Foley?

  That'd be fun. I should, we should steal your car.

• 10:38H. Foley?

  Tell me that wouldn't be a good prank.

• 10:39Speaker 01

  A hundred percent.

• 10:40H. Foley?

  Right?

• 10:42H. Foley?

  What are you gonna do?

• 10:43Speaker 01

  Huh?

• 10:44H. Foley?

  A half asleep in your rocking chair.

• 10:46Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 10:46H. Foley?

  Old man Ryan in there. I'm at that with a couple of fucking Kia boys. Like, "Mmm, mmm, mmm, I'm still out there living, dog."

• 10:55Speaker 02

  Smoking K2?

• 10:56H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 10:57Speaker 01

  Still out there living, you're hanging out at the Five Below.

• 11:00H. Foley?

  I wasn't hanging out there. I was shopping.

• 11:02Speaker 01

  I was asking for a job application. They need seasonal work.

• 11:07H. Foley?

  Oh, dude.

• 11:08Speaker 01

  Seasonal work. Seasonal work. That's, let's, dude, Flip, shout out Flip. Flip would do seasonal work for UPS and we might as well thought he was the goddamn CEO. He would show up, "I'm making fourteen dollars." Dude, that was when we were all making eight, whatever, nine. He was making like double digit and he was the runner. He would run from the truck to the house, truck to the house, and he would come and complain about it.

• 11:36H. Foley?

  Truck to the house, truck to the house.

• 11:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, so the driver wouldn't have to park, get out, find it. He was like, he would go in the back, find it, pull up to like one, two, three fucking Acorn Avenue.

• 11:47H. Foley?

  Cotton used to work in the warehouse.

• 11:48Speaker 01

  Warehouse work is not bad.

• 11:51H. Foley?

  He had his belt. Did you ever wear a belt?

• 11:53Speaker 01

  The, wait, the, like the lifting belt?

• 11:55H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 11:56Speaker 01

  Nah.

• 11:56H. Foley?

  No? Did you ever wear a belt to the gym?

• 12:00H. Foley?

  No? Or use the straps? I know Luke does.

• 12:03Speaker 02

  I did.

• 12:04Speaker 01

  You wore what?

• 12:05Speaker 02

  In high school.

• 12:06Speaker 01

  Was it to hold up your thong underwear? What are you talking about?

• 12:08Speaker 02

  I got really into powerlifting.

• 12:10H. Foley?

  Too shake weight.

• 12:11Speaker 01

  Powerlifting. He's got too shake weight. He's double bickering it.

• 12:16H. Foley?

  Doing the Thai master at the same time? What are you talking about?

• 12:20Speaker 02

  I was taking a lot of creatine at the time.

• 12:21H. Foley?

  A lot of creatine?

• 12:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, I was actually, that was the only time I got up to 180 in my entire life was junior year of high school. For like six months.

• 12:30H. Foley?

  You're like the Flash.

• 12:31Speaker 01

  Junior year of high school, you were 180.

• 12:32Speaker 02

  Then I got into weed.

• 12:33Speaker 01

  Fourth grade fully was 180.

• 12:35H. Foley?

  Uh, naturally, high school, I was 180. Yeah, senior year of high school, uh, in wrestling, I was 180. 171, actually. I had to make 171, didn't they? Didn't they have me wrestle 189?

• 12:46Speaker 01

  Hey, behind the glory years, no one has.

• 12:50Speaker 01

  And actually, Scott McFadden broke his ankle and we had to...

• 12:55H. Foley?

  What was that kid's name sophomore year that broke his shoulder? And I had to start wrestling varsity. I got fucked up after the match. What do you got for me?

• 13:04Speaker 01

  Nothing. Continue down your long line.

• 13:07H. Foley?

  Hey, we're in Q4 here. What do you got?

• 13:09Speaker 01

  What?

• 13:09H. Foley?

  Q4.

• 13:10Speaker 01

  Did you just learn that or something? You've been dropping the Q, quarters.

• 13:14Speaker 02

  I think I said it too.

• 13:16H. Foley?

  I know it's Christmas bonus time. I knew it did. He was just talking a couple of numbers a couple of days ago about you gentlemen.

• 13:25Speaker 01

  He was trying to lowball everybody.

• 13:30H. Foley?

  He's got it. I just got you that race car. Bought Luke a little toy. That's five below.

• 13:36Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 13:37H. Foley?

  Nineteen dollars.

• 13:38Speaker 01

  I would not blame... I would see five below doing that. Where like then they start going, oh, this is... Do they do that now? Is still everything's five below?

• 13:49Speaker 02

  No.

• 13:50Speaker 01

  No?

• 13:51H. Foley?

  No, none of them. Dollar slices ain't a dollar no more. This country is going to hell in a handbasket.

• 13:57Speaker 01

  I'm okay with no longer dollar slices. What times these days? I mean, dollar slices... The fact that they were making...

• 14:02H. Foley?

  The 99 cent store is not a dollar anymore either. All these tariffs.

• 14:08H. Foley?

  All these sheriffs.

• 14:11Speaker 01

  Uh, alright. Well, that's neither here nor that. What do you have on...

• 14:14Speaker 02

  Most items in the main section are five below, but now you can have five beyond. With sections up to 25 dollars.

• 14:21Speaker 01

  That's pretty good.

• 14:23H. Foley?

  Don't cut the doodles. A splinter.

• 14:28H. Foley?

  Luke Dempsey, everybody. Over there in the corner office.

• 14:31Speaker 02

  Hello, everyone.

• 14:31H. Foley?

  Of the Dempsey Group.

• 14:33Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 14:33Speaker 02

  I would like a weight belt for Christmas.

• 14:37H. Foley?

  Get you 40 pounds. We should bulk you up.

• 14:40Speaker 02

  I've been trying, man.

• 14:41H. Foley?

  Let's get you on steroids.

• 14:42Speaker 02

  I thought that was gonna happen when I joined this team. I was gonna gain some weight.

• 14:45H. Foley?

  Let's get you on steroids. I got a winstrel guy.

• 14:49Speaker 02

  I would like that. You'd be like my trainer.

• 14:52H. Foley?

  Get you jacked up. You need ice cream. That's what Christian Bale did for Batman. He had a lot of ice cream.

• 14:57Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 14:57H. Foley?

  That's what they said and he was pumping iron.

• 14:59Speaker 02

  Yeah. Had a pint last night.

• 15:02H. Foley?

  You did.

• 15:02Speaker 02

  I did.

• 15:03H. Foley?

  What'd you have?

• 15:04Speaker 02

  I had that new Ben and Jerry's, like, they've been doing a little bit of whip something on the top, and then New York cheesecake chocolate. It was great.

• 15:10H. Foley?

  He's such a bitch. It's crazy.

• 15:12Speaker 01

  Why, why, why? You just don't like him.

• 15:14H. Foley?

  I love him. You don't like me.

• 15:16Speaker 01

  Nah, you know, you just leaned to me and said, "He's such a bitch."

• 15:18H. Foley?

  I think I heard, I said it on a microphone.

• 15:21Speaker 01

  I know, he whispered it like he wasn't gonna hear. Like, he's gonna edit this, too. He's gonna listen, he's gonna listen to you call him a bitch like five times.

• 15:28H. Foley?

  It's all foo-foo shit with him.

• 15:30Speaker 02

  It is.

• 15:30H. Foley?

  He's never up the middle. Briers and some fucking Hershey syrup is what you need. I'm gonna do grocery shopping for you. Get you straightened out.

• 15:39Speaker 02

  We've evolved. We've evolved as a species.

• 15:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, what do you, uh, listen. You act like you're not doing, eh, just stop with this. You really,

• 15:47H. Foley?

  The finer things?

• 15:48Speaker 01

  You really claim you're one guy when you're not that guy.

• 15:51H. Foley?

  I like a cold foam, sure.

• 15:52Speaker 01

  You're not that guy, pal.

• 15:54H. Foley?

  I like a cold foam.

• 15:55Speaker 01

  You're not that guy, okay?

• 15:57H. Foley?

  I am not that guy.

• 15:57Speaker 01

  You really judge everybody. You live in a glass house. That you're behind on rent.

• 16:05H. Foley?

  There's a guy that lives in my building that's so scary. He would fuck me up.

• 16:09Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 16:09H. Foley?

  He's not nice.

• 16:11Speaker 01

  Maybe you're not nice.

• 16:12H. Foley?

  His wife's a dime piece.

• 16:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think. You're trying to hide from the debt collector in your glass house. I can see ya. Hey, you're in there.

• 16:20H. Foley?

  That's a hologram, dickhead. I'm doing very well.

• 16:24Speaker 01

  I see you reading the shut-off notice.

• 16:27H. Foley?

  Hey, hit me up again. Can't much talk about hollow socks.

• 16:30Speaker 01

  Hollow socks.

• 16:32H. Foley?

  You know what stinks?

• 16:33Speaker 01

  What's that?

• 16:33H. Foley?

  When you got regular socks on, your feet are freezing in the wintertime, or in the summertime, you got regular socks on, and your feet are all sweaty. What you need is hollow socks.

• 16:43Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 16:43H. Foley?

  To get yourself straightened out. That's the way I'm going. We're talking about premium alpaca boot socks.

• 16:47Speaker 01

  Woo!

• 16:48H. Foley?

  Built for cold mornings, long days on your feet, and everything in between.

• 16:51Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. Got ultra-soft baby alpaca fiber.

• 16:54H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm. That's a good stuff.

• 16:56Speaker 01

  That's a, I mean-

• 16:57H. Foley?

  Alpaca. You blot that shit.

• 17:00Speaker 01

  We got thermo-regulating, warm below freezing, comfortable when it warms up, three times warmer than wool without the bulkiness. It's got moisture managing. Uh, your feet stay dry, and instead of sweating, stewing in sweat, durable, no itch, built for daily wear and real boots, not just death socks, baby. We're talking running and gunning. You put these boots, you put these socks on, you can do whatever the heck you want.

• 17:24H. Foley?

  You know they sent them?

• 17:25Speaker 01

  What's that?

• 17:26H. Foley?

  They sent two pair.

• 17:27Speaker 01

  Sure, you kept both of them?

• 17:28H. Foley?

  I gave one to my brother.

• 17:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:29H. Foley?

  Got a random text out of nowhere, "These are the best socks I've ever had."

• 17:32Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 17:32H. Foley?

  Swear to God.

• 17:33Speaker 01

  Uh, for a limited time, Hollow Socks is having a buy two, get two free sale. Head to hollowsocks.com today to check it out. That's hollow socks for up to 50% off your order after your purchase. They're gonna ask you how you heard about them. Tell them the boys sent you, support the show. Are you garbage? Do it.

• 17:48H. Foley?

  Yeah, we gotta talk about Rocket Money.

• 17:50Speaker 01

  Shout out to Rocket Money!

• 17:52H. Foley?

  You got a lot of subscriptions that you don't know about, gang. Do yourself a favor, go over Rocket Money and get rid of them, especially around the holiday season. You're gonna have a little extra scratch, right? You don't wanna be, uh, sending money to who knows who.

• 18:02Speaker 01

  Take some stuff off the books.

• 18:03H. Foley?

  Take some stuff off the books in Q4 before the end of the year. That's how we do it around here, right, Kippy?

• 18:08Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscription, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Uh, listen, I didn't use it until they were, until they were a, uh, a sponsor. I got on, it's one of my favorite things. You get your, you get your weekly email, "Hey, this is what you spent, this much below, this much above, what you've done last week, you have these upcoming charges pending." It gets every, it gets all your ducks in a row for you.

• 18:36H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 18:37Speaker 01

  There's no surprises, that's the worst thing, especially when you're, you got a tight rope, you're, you got a tight budget, you're figuring stuff out, you need, every day matters, and then you get hit with some charge you weren't expecting? Jam up the whole weekend and/or holiday season. Rocket Money has saved users over $2.5 billion, including $880 million in canceled subscriptions alone. Their 10 million members save up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features. I was signed up for some, uh, some European fighting thing that, that I didn't know was banging me out every month. Bada bing bada boom, they figure it out, take them off the books. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com/garbage today, that's rocketmoney.com/garbage. Rocketmoney.com/garbage, do it.

• 19:20H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 19:20Speaker 01

  Let's get into it here.

• 19:22H. Foley?

  Please.

• 19:23Speaker 01

  Speaking of jammed up, this is King Without a Castle, $10 homie and jammed up winner. Is it garbage to heat up a brick and use it as your car's defroster? A buddy of mine microwaves a brick and puts a rag on it on the dashboard and drove to work. What a legend.

• 19:38H. Foley?

  Whoa, very, very artisanal. That's like the pizza stone.

• 19:43Speaker 01

  I know, it's stone fired.

• 19:45H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 19:46Speaker 01

  That, I mean, because that holds, right?

• 19:48H. Foley?

  That holds. You cook a burger on that when you get to work.

• 19:51Speaker 01

  Can you microwave a brick though? Doesn't it need moisture or something?

• 19:54H. Foley?

  Nah, there's moisture in it and there's no metal in it. All of this is water and sand and some kind of red dye.

• 20:00Speaker 01

  Hey, Flintstone, zip it.

• 20:02H. Foley?

  What is a brick anyway?

• 20:03Speaker 01

  You just told me. What do you mean?

• 20:05H. Foley?

  What's a brick made of?

• 20:06Speaker 01

  That's the king of you. Oh, Brooks, you assist.

• 20:08H. Foley?

  What's the difference between brick and concrete?

• 20:09Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 20:11H. Foley?

  You're Mr. Construction. So you were driving around in your pickup truck.

• 20:15Speaker 01

  I don't know. I don't know why we're so adversarial.

• 20:21H. Foley?

  That pissed me off the second you said it.

• 20:25H. Foley?

  Oh yeah, you drove a pickup truck. You were in the back freezing your ass off with some stray dog.

• 20:31Speaker 01

  You could tell by the way you said drive. That really...

• 20:36H. Foley?

  Probably a Toyota.

• 20:39Speaker 01

  It was a Dodge 25 Honda, jacked up. We bought it used and never put new tires on it.

• 20:46H. Foley?

  Their radios are always weird in those Dodges.

• 20:49Speaker 01

  The dial. I love that. Dude, you could really fine tune the... Ah, it was great. And I'd be sitting in there listening to Preston. I remember Nick DiPaolo was saying something so funny that I had to pull over the road and pull over to the side of the road in Marlton, New Jersey. They asked, they asked him what, it was, this was in the lean years of stand-up comedy before like, you know, it was like...

• 21:10H. Foley?

  Late 90s.

• 21:11Speaker 01

  No, like mid 2000s.

• 21:13H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 21:16H. Foley?

  Yeah, I remember.

• 21:19H. Foley?

  Exactly.

• 21:20Speaker 01

  They asked him, "What a tough gig." Like, you know, like, "What's the big gig to get now?" And, you know, "Used to be the Tonight Show or whatever. What's the big gig now?" He goes, "I don't know. Healthcare?" Killed me. Killed me. Killed me. "I don't know. Healthcare?" Um...

• 21:36H. Foley?

  You ever drop anything on the road? Drop materials on the road?

• 21:40Speaker 01

  Uh, no. We, our famous last words were, "We put the ratchet strap on, shake, and go. That ain't going nowhere." And...

• 21:45H. Foley?

  The ratchet trap?

• 21:46Speaker 01

  The ratchet strap.

• 21:47H. Foley?

  Oh, I hate those things.

• 21:49Speaker 01

  Um, which I found out they found like a, I could never really, I never really knew how they worked, but there's like a new, like, is... It was like a mechanical one. It's like all together and you kind of just zip, zip, where like, I had to like, string it and loop it and, "Hey, fucking hands are freezing."

• 22:03H. Foley?

  Every, oh, every year, we had to do, we have to do that with the, uh, the furniture in the back on the deck. We close down the, Patty closes down the pool. She fucking puts a tarp over all the lawn furniture and sticks it to the side. Like a resort waiting for a hurricane. And I gotta fucking strap it to like-

• 22:18Speaker 01

  You have a garage? You don't put it in a garage?

• 22:20H. Foley?

  Hey, get the car in there. She got the pool filter. Plus, my brother, my cousin Paul, and my cousin Tracy, they all got shit in the garage.

• 22:28Speaker 01

  You start charging these motherfuckers rent.

• 22:31H. Foley?

  Couches, paintings, all kinds of stuff. All kinds of stuff in there. You know who's gotta fucking organize that every time he goes home? I'm getting yelled at. I gotta put the filter over here, this over there. Told her she turn that into a fucking, fucking gym. I get in there, start working out.

• 22:45Speaker 01

  You and Luke bulk up.

• 22:47H. Foley?

  Telling you.

• 22:49Speaker 01

  Well, if that's what's stopping you from working out, ninety-eight miles away. I told you, if my mom let me turn the gy- turn the garage into a gym, I'd be jacked right now.

• 22:56H. Foley?

  What's a brick made of?

• 22:58Speaker 02

  A brick is made of clay. Uh, fired clay. Concrete block is a mixture of cement, sand, and gravel.

• 23:05Speaker 01

  It's all the same shit.

• 23:06H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 23:06Speaker 02

  You should not microwave a brick.

• 23:08Speaker 01

  Why?

• 23:09Speaker 02

  Because it absorbs moisture and will crack or explode.

• 23:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, that can't, dude, the microwave. I remember the first time I put, I forgot the, I was trying to make chocolate milk with Ovaltine-

• 23:17H. Foley?

  These are volatile.

• 23:18Speaker 01

  And I put a glass in without water.

• 23:21H. Foley?

  Why?

• 23:22Speaker 01

  I forgot. I don't know. Like, I just put the powder in and forgot to put the milk in it.

• 23:25H. Foley?

  Did you brod?

• 23:26Speaker 01

  Man, it shattered. I was so scared my dad was gonna scream at me. I didn't know what to do.

• 23:31H. Foley?

  Those early microwaves were fucking a menace. I remember the first one we had, it was the size of like that TV. It was huge. The thing was hanging off our, uh, off our kitchen counter, like, like, three inches. Man, that thing, fuck you up.

• 23:47Speaker 01

  Cook a turkey in there.

• 23:48H. Foley?

  Dudes, cook your hair.

• 23:51Speaker 01

  Uh, alright, let's see here. Um, what?

• 23:57H. Foley?

  Cook your hair.

• 24:00H. Foley?

  Sweep that under the rug.

• 24:02Speaker 01

  Uh, this was from Brian. Um, trashy spelling. B-

• 24:07H. Foley?

  B-R-Y-A-N?

• 24:08Speaker 01

  B-R-Y-O-N. What the heck is it?

• 24:12H. Foley?

  What are you, a lord from Scotland?

• 24:14Speaker 01

  I thought it was Byron, but it's Brian.

• 24:17H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's bad.

• 24:18Speaker 01

  First time in new Patreon, is it garbage to pretend like you're just looking at the merchandise before committing to a long line at a concert? Then you strike up a conversation with the guy next to you in line.

• 24:32Speaker 01

  And what shirt they like. Hey, what are you looking at? What one do you like? Then before they step to the counter, ask them if I Venmo or Cash App you the money, will you buy my shirt so I don't have to wait in this long line, but to keep it classy, I always throw in a couple extra bucks to grab a beverage of their choice? Those lines can jam me up for like an hour.

• 24:51H. Foley?

  Ooh, that's got scam written all over it. I would never trust that. Would you let somebody you didn't know Venmo ya? I'll Venmo ya.

• 24:59Speaker 01

  I mean, what do you think Venmo, what do you think they're gonna do when they Venmo ya?

• 25:02H. Foley?

  I don't know. They Venmo you a dollar and then all of a sudden they're taking thousands of dollars out of your account.

• 25:08Speaker 01

  You do not have.

• 25:09H. Foley?

  Hundreds.

• 25:10Speaker 01

  Ten bucks.

• 25:11H. Foley?

  Hundreds. About 115 a check in.

• 25:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, like, I, you, you're under like-

• 25:17H. Foley?

  Plus then they know you're Venmo.

• 25:18Speaker 01

  But, what does that mean?

• 25:20H. Foley?

  I don't know.

• 25:21Speaker 01

  Venmo's not gonna let, like, Venmo is the safeguard. Not that it say they're not, there's not flaws or whatever, they can't be hacked, but like-

• 25:27H. Foley?

  Trust me, they're very sticklers about shit.

• 25:29Speaker 01

  If someone has your Venmo, they can't just like, it's not like they have your bank account information.

• 25:34H. Foley?

  I know.

• 25:35Speaker 01

  I kinda like the move. I don't, this is a victimless, a victimless move to me here.

• 25:41H. Foley?

  I don't, I can't see you warming up to that.

• 25:46Speaker 01

  I'm not saying I would do it, I'm just saying I don't, if that happened in front of me, I'd go, "It's one transaction, I'm here, what's, there's no..."

• 25:55H. Foley?

  I guess I could see it like a Dead show or The Fish where it's like that community vibe. Like, "Hey man, get my shirt and I'll buy you an IPA, man." Like that, but that shit ain't flying at a fucking Oasis concert. Fuck outta here, mate.

• 26:08Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 26:09H. Foley?

  Buy your own t-shirt.

• 26:10Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, I don't know.

• 26:12H. Foley?

  That's like someone walking up to you at an ATM saying, "Hey, can you break this 20?" Didn't that happen to you?

• 26:15Speaker 01

  Yeah. I was in the Czech Republic, that was a little friggin' different. "Hey, buddy, English, no."

• 26:25H. Foley?

  Pickpocket!

• 26:26Speaker 01

  Scammer, scammer, scammer. Um, yeah, I mean, listen, that's a, that's fine to me. If both parties are consenting adults, I'm totally okay with it.

• 26:35H. Foley?

  Sure, definitely trash, and I respect the move.

• 26:37Speaker 01

  I mean, it's a dirtbag move, but, you know, if they say no, they say no, if they say yeah, they say yeah.

• 26:41H. Foley?

  Beveraging, "I'll buy you a beer."

• 26:42Speaker 01

  No, but he says, "I'll send you the money."

• 26:44H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 26:44Speaker 01

  That's like, that's completely fine to me.

• 26:47H. Foley?

  I could see, hey, I wonder if he goes to wait in line to get the, I'll go grab us a couple of beers, how about that?

• 26:51Speaker 01

  That's not bad.

• 26:52H. Foley?

  That's not bad.

• 26:52Speaker 01

  And one thing I do like about the new, uh, I mean, it's probably cutting down on jobs and it's like, but you can just go buy, at a lot of places now, a lot of like, uh, venues and they're like, you know, stadiums and stuff like that, you can just walk up, grab your beers and like, walk, like self-pay walk out. Which for like, if you're just grabbing two beers, there's no need to wait in line. And we were at the last Birds game.

• 27:15H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 27:16Speaker 01

  I was just going to like a self-checkout, grabbing two beers from the fridge. And there was like a guy standing there just like overseeing it all.

• 27:23H. Foley?

  Making sure you don't walk out with them.

• 27:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, but that's, I mean, like, that's what it should be.

• 27:27H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 27:28Speaker 01

  Right? Instead of waiting in line for fucking 90 minutes.

• 27:31H. Foley?

  I thought they were gonna chip us all so we could just walk out of the store.

• 27:33Speaker 01

  I don't mind that either, chip me up.

• 27:36H. Foley?

  Take a chip?

• 27:36Speaker 02

  Yeah. Our college bar started like the last year selling like just pounders for like, just cash, at like the front, away from the bar, so when the bar was too packed, you could just go get pounders.

• 27:47Speaker 01

  That's what, that's what...

• 27:48H. Foley?

  And stay in the bar?

• 27:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:50H. Foley?

  Wow.

• 27:50Speaker 01

  That's the move down at Keenan's too, like big, big places like that. You go to like the Beer Tub Girl, you know what I mean? Ah, my bum boy. I mean, he fell in love with the beer tub, but like, fell in love. And then I think she ended up dating someone else or something. It was like, it was a, it was a, it was a web. But he was like, "Yeah, she's hitting me up." And we were like, "Dude." She is a, dude, we're talking a North Wild Keenan's beer tub girl. As hot and trashy as you could get. You know what I mean? I'm talking somewhere from like Abington or something. Nice, but trashy.

• 28:30H. Foley?

  Two words, kid at home.

• 28:32Speaker 01

  No, we were young. We were still in like college.

• 28:34H. Foley?

  Kid at home.

• 28:35Speaker 01

  Kid at college.

• 28:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, I remember just, you know, he was over tipping her, hanging out there. Yeah, I'll go, he was, I'll go get the beers.

• 28:46H. Foley?

  I love that falling in love in the moment though. Like getting like enthralled by like a bartender or something like that.

• 28:52Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 28:53H. Foley?

  Fades very quickly.

• 28:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, it just, listen, I've, I've been in a lot of

• 28:58Speaker 01

  right, you know, regular bars. With a lot of people, close to me, not close to me, and like, you know, you know, working construction or whatever, you know, Friday, you go for happy hour. And just to see every dude operate the same with like, the quasi-hot bartender, who's like a bitch to be a bitch, you know what I mean? Over tipping, "Oh, you're, oh, you're bad," as they like walk away.

• 29:24H. Foley?

  That girl hates your fucking guts.

• 29:27Speaker 01

  I mean.

• 29:27H. Foley?

  And I respect, not you personally.

• 29:29Speaker 01

  I mean, maybe.

• 29:30H. Foley?

  Do you remember that, um?

• 29:31Speaker 01

  I remember my dad doing that.

• 29:33H. Foley?

  And your dad's got a little swag though.

• 29:36Speaker 01

  From what I remember, yeah.

• 29:37H. Foley?

  You know what I'm saying?

• 29:38Speaker 01

  Sure. You've met him once.

• 29:41H. Foley?

  Sharp guy, I don't think.

• 29:42Speaker 01

  I remember you being like.

• 29:44H. Foley?

  I knew he was a good-looking older dude. Only needed to see that once. Had the stash in the hair and the jeans. He's probably closing deals. As long as your fat little ass wasn't jamming up the works.

• 29:56H. Foley?

  Taking you out as a wingman.

• 29:58Speaker 01

  Yikes. Couple quarters.

• 30:01H. Foley?

  Fucking hamburger on your face. You got mayonnaise in your hair, get away from me. Say your son.

• 30:07Speaker 01

  No.

• 30:08H. Foley?

  Um. Did you ever do that, uh... Those...

• 30:13Speaker 01

  You're an idiot.

• 30:16H. Foley?

  Somebody that can support that?

• 30:18Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 30:18H. Foley?

  Did you ever do those shows that we did for a minute? Excuse me. Out in...

• 30:24Speaker 01

  I forgot when Foley was the comedy kingpin, setting up these great gigs for everybody.

• 30:28H. Foley?

  It was out in Ridley at that sports bar. I wanna say the guy that ran...

• 30:32Speaker 01

  Was it right next to the fridge? The stage was right next to the fridge?

• 30:35H. Foley?

  Maybe.

• 30:36Speaker 01

  I didn't want...

• 30:36H. Foley?

  The bartenders wore Foot Locker shirts. They were refs, you know, for us.

• 30:41Speaker 01

  I don't think so.

• 30:42H. Foley?

  Hot chick in one of those? It was that guy that, the guy that taught classes at Helium. The guy that taught comedy classes at Helium.

• 30:50Speaker 01

  Trackman.

• 30:51H. Foley?

  Yes! Brad Trackman put them together, I think, or maybe he was just the headliner on one of the shows. And he was out there that time. You don't remember that bar?

• 30:59Speaker 01

  Was it like a shotgun, like, there was no showroom, it was just in the bar?

• 31:03H. Foley?

  Yeah, you're right at the bar. There was like two bars next to each other, like two like round bars.

• 31:07Speaker 01

  Nah, this wasn't, I don't remember that then.

• 31:08H. Foley?

  Huh. Before your time, maybe. Well, that was one of those bars where it was like, they were like strippers. They were so hot. And so smoky and mysterious and so Ridley and Delco.

• 31:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:22H. Foley?

  And they had a bunch of fucking mouth breathers just hanging in there.

• 31:26Speaker 01

  Uh-huh. Well, it's like tough when you see... I remember somebody, I said to my stepdad, I think it was my stepdad or my dad. I hang out a lot of bars with these guys. But, I, every, we were there and I go, "Every time I'm there, this fucking guy's sitting here." Like, it's the same guy across the bar.

• 31:43H. Foley?

  Your dad said this?

• 31:43Speaker 01

  No, I said this to my dad, I believe it was my dad or my step, I forget, one of them.

• 31:47H. Foley?

  I got you.

• 31:47Speaker 01

  One of the positive male, uh, smoking and drinking role models in my life.

• 31:53H. Foley?

  Just like that guy's thinking, "Every time I come in here, I've got fat kids here."

• 31:55Speaker 01

  That's what they say, that's when my stepdad goes, "He's saying the same fucking thing." "Every time I'm here, I see this, well, these fucking, these momos." And, uh, that's when it hit me of like, "Oh, I'm the, I'm not better than any of these peep." Not that I thought I was better, but like, you think you're different.

• 32:10H. Foley?

  Well, you're a little better, you were 12.

• 32:12Speaker 01

  No, but even, no, I mean...

• 32:13H. Foley?

  Whole life, idiot.

• 32:15Speaker 01

  Doubtful.

• 32:20H. Foley?

  Guy's 87. He's leaving tips and quarters. There you go. Fucking drinking it through that thing in his throat.

• 32:28Speaker 01

  I told you, we were at the pub.

• 32:29H. Foley?

  Biggest fear.

• 32:30Speaker 01

  Me and Pat for happy hour and there was this guy, he like worked there and he had a real bad haircut. He goes, "I see you got your Dallas..." He said, I told you, he said to the guy across the bar, this fucking drunk and nobody, he didn't like anybody, he goes, "I see you still got your Dallas Cowboy jersey on." And not even looking up, he goes, "I see you still got your little boy haircut." And it fucking leveled the place, dude. Leveled the place. Me and Pat shit ourselves laughing, dude.

• 32:56H. Foley?

  Little boy haircut.

• 32:58Speaker 01

  That was when you were hanging and being close to the owner of the bar was cool.

• 33:02H. Foley?

  Oh.

• 33:03Speaker 01

  That was the coolest you could be. They go, "Ah, I don't know, you know, fucking Jimmy, Jimmy showed." And then we were out, after you left, Jimmy showed up, closed the door, bought around the car bombs.

• 33:15H. Foley?

  After hours, yeah.

• 33:16Speaker 01

  Fuck! I'm all pissed.

• 33:18H. Foley?

  Car bombs? What?

• 33:20Speaker 01

  I went to get chicken fingers.

• 33:22H. Foley?

  Being selected for happy hour, or for after hours was always good.

• 33:27Speaker 01

  That was to me...

• 33:28H. Foley?

  And watching people get yanked out of there.

• 33:29Speaker 01

  You might as well be famous. That's like you're on the list.

• 33:32H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 33:33Speaker 01

  You're A and I know so and so, so and so.

• 33:35H. Foley?

  Guys, we're closing up. You guys are cool, stay here.

• 33:37Speaker 01

  Hang out for a minute.

• 33:38H. Foley?

  I'm there, fuck it.

• 33:41Speaker 01

  Fire up that fryolator.

• 33:44H. Foley?

  My buddy, who I went to high school with, did well. I think in construction. And he... Driving a truck.

• 33:53H. Foley?

  And he, uh...

• 33:54Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 33:55H. Foley?

  He, um, he bought a bar in, uh, in Ambler and I remember, I don't know, late twenties, early thirties, uh, back in town. He would, he would, you get to hang out in the office. He called you, you got, you and a couple of the boys could go into the office and hang out back there.

• 34:15Speaker 01

  AKA Coke Town. Sitting on an empty keg. What are you talking about?

• 34:20H. Foley?

  Well, the weather outside is frightful. Um, no, you're going to hang out. And it was always cool.

• 34:27H. Foley?

  Yeah, you felt like you were famous.

• 34:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, my brother does that. You go anywhere with Danny, anywhere. I don't care.

• 34:33H. Foley?

  He wants the VIP treatment.

• 34:34Speaker 01

  Not that. He gets in there and you're like talking and he's looking around. He's, he's, he's figuring out the organizational chart. Who's in charge? Do they own it? Yeah, she's related, she's ma- that's the, and he's going, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then next time you go in, that's the owner I know.

• 34:51Speaker 01

  He figures it out. He's-

• 34:52H. Foley?

  That's the owner I know is brother.

• 34:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, he fucking, he really figures it. Hey, it must be the owner. Family organization.

• 34:59H. Foley?

  It's always something, though. There's always a little, it's never just professional.

• 35:05Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 35:05H. Foley?

  It's, you know, their cousin works there, this one knows this one.

• 35:09Speaker 01

  Well, that's-

• 35:09H. Foley?

  That's the, that's the owner's wife, she's the manager.

• 35:12Speaker 01

  That's ninety, eh, eh, eh, I remember learning this in college. That's like, you think it's all like corporation. It's like, it's ninety-five percent small businesses and family owned businesses. A small business is like anything under fifty employees. So it's like, not whatever X amount of, you know, crazy large percent of, of businesses are small businesses.

• 35:30H. Foley?

  Are we a family owned business?

• 35:33Speaker 01

  No.

• 35:34H. Foley?

  Why not?

• 35:35Speaker 01

  Until you marry my mother, we won't be a family owned business. Uh, yeah, we're not, we, we run like a fam- there's a lot of dysfunction. We run like every family business I've ever been a part of.

• 35:44H. Foley?

  We get lunch together.

• 35:45Speaker 01

  We get lunch together?

• 35:46H. Foley?

  We do Christmas together.

• 35:48Speaker 01

  We do a Christmas episode together?

• 35:49H. Foley?

  We go out to dinner together.

• 35:50Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, we're friends.

• 35:52H. Foley?

  Are we a small business?

• 35:53Speaker 01

  Do we have fifty people working for us?

• 35:55H. Foley?

  Oh, it's over fifty people.

• 35:57Speaker 01

  Is that the number? I, I think that's what it is. If I, if I remember correctly. A lot of times like when you do the insurance and stuff, it's like under fifty.

• 36:05H. Foley?

  We just hired Mark the Shark.

• 36:06Speaker 01

  Hired Mark the Shark. His name's not Mark. But it's a great nickname.

• 36:10Speaker 02

  Five Hundred.

• 36:10Speaker 01

  Five Hundred?

• 36:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:12H. Foley?

  Five Hundred?

• 36:14H. Foley?

  What the, what are we, Chobani? Five Hundred?

• 36:16Speaker 01

  Why was that the, did you have Chobani today?

• 36:18H. Foley?

  Yeah. For breakfast. The honey.

• 36:22Speaker 01

  What are we, lactaid? It's just like some random ass fucking dairy.

• 36:25H. Foley?

  I never trusted that.

• 36:26Speaker 01

  Nah, dude, that was for no-

• 36:28H. Foley?

  You're taking the milk out of the milk?

• 36:29Speaker 01

  I think-

• 36:30H. Foley?

  And trying to sell it to me?

• 36:31Speaker 01

  I still don't get that. It's a little more accepted now. Yeah, with the lactaid, hey, we can't do the sleepover, okay? I'm gonna have my mom come pick me up.

• 36:40H. Foley?

  That and egg beaters.

• 36:41Speaker 01

  Oh, no, fucking dude, trying to, trying to throw me a bowl of Frosted Flakes with lactaid? Yo, pick me up. I'm gonna have my dad hit suburban diner. Where the baking's done on premises.

• 36:54H. Foley?

  That and that New Horizons milk, I've told you.

• 36:56Speaker 01

  That's milk though, no?

• 36:57H. Foley?

  Ah, you smell that cap, it stinks. I don't know what it is.

• 37:00Speaker 01

  Dude, I trust the generic, non, I mean, at home, it's, you know, Rosenberg, that kinda stuff. But I, if I'm in a, if I go, if I go to Cleveland, I'm, I'm trusting the red cap, the red label, the plastic, microplastic junk. That's what I don't want. I'm not going carton. I'm not go, I want, I want like, bad milk.

• 37:20H. Foley?

  We have not talked-

• 37:21Speaker 01

  And I was that way with eggs for a long time.

• 37:23H. Foley?

  You like bad egg, you like the bleached white?

• 37:25Speaker 01

  I've stepped it up.

• 37:26H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 37:26Speaker 01

  I've stepped it up, just cuz-

• 37:27H. Foley?

  As a kid, brown eggs?

• 37:29Speaker 01

  Dude-

• 37:29H. Foley?

  What am I, fucking Amish?

• 37:30Speaker 01

  Dude-

• 37:31H. Foley?

  Get outta here with that shit.

• 37:32Speaker 01

  Up until three years ago-

• 37:33H. Foley?

  The pigeon shit on them?

• 37:34Speaker 01

  My, I, yeah, they're, I'm like, you're sending me dirty eggs? I don't like things, this is-

• 37:39H. Foley?

  Yeah, run them through the dishwasher, right?

• 37:40Speaker 01

  This is how I operate. I don't like things not going through like, a corporate oversight.

• 37:44H. Foley?

  Processing.

• 37:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:45H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 37:46Speaker 01

  I'm not picking berries off the street and eating them. Fucking put them in a bag, spray them with some formaldehyde, sell them at the Acme.

• 37:52H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 37:53Speaker 01

  That's what I'm talking about.

• 37:54H. Foley?

  Um, we don't talk enough about Rosenburgers. Which, it's a Philadelphia company, I believe, right, or local?

• 38:01Speaker 01

  It was always area, yeah, like, it was the area to me.

• 38:03H. Foley?

  They did iced tea, they did chocolate milk, their chocolate milk was banging. They had all the schools. They would do the little banger cartons. That looked like half gowns, but they were in a little, you know, like a little-

• 38:14Speaker 01

  Carton of small carton, yeah, individual carton of milk. Which I, that was never enough for me.

• 38:17H. Foley?

  No, sucked. See people drinking it with a straw, like, what the fuck?

• 38:22Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 38:22H. Foley?

  Yeah, never enough. Always left you thirsty.

• 38:25Speaker 01

  Then I remember, I remember-

• 38:26H. Foley?

  But Rosenburger, shout out to them. Okay, what do you know about Uncommon Goods?

• 38:28Speaker 01

  Uh, I know nothing. Why don't you tell me about Uncommon Goods, big dog?

• 38:32H. Foley?

  Well, I'm good on my friend. Uncommon Goods has something for everybody. From moms and dads to kids and teens, from book lovers, history buffs, and diehard football fans, to foodies, mixologists, avid gardeners. Find thousands of new gift ideas that you won't find anywhere else. When you shop at Uncommon Goods, you're supporting artists and small independent businesses, many handcrafted products and made in small batches. So shop now, before they sell out this holiday season.

• 38:58Speaker 01

  Yes. Uncommon Goods takes the stress out of gift giving with thousands of unique, high quality- Quality finds that you won't find anywhere else. Listen, I stink at giving gifts. I logged on to Uncommon Goods. Beep, boop, bop, boop, boop. You knock everybody out. I got like 20 people I gotta buy for. Wipe them off the list. All easily done with Uncommon Goods. And everybody's gonna like what they get. Uh, so don't wait. Cross off those names off your list before the rush. To get 15% off your next gift, go to uncommongoods.com/AYG. That's uncommongoods.com/AYG for 15% off. Uncommon Goods. We're all out of the ordinary over here at Uncommon Goods, baby.

• 39:32H. Foley?

  Do it. Okay, we gotta talk about Factor.

• 39:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, scream it from the rafters. Factor, factor, factor.

• 39:37H. Foley?

  Factor, factor, factor. We are a Factor family. Been a Factor family before they were even sponsors. We love Factor. Gang, what you wanna do is you wanna go over there. You wanna choose from a wider variety of selections. Weekly meal options, including premium seafood choices like salmon and shrimp. At no extra cost. We're talking about support your wellness goals. All right? Sickie season, you're starting to get sick. You wanna support your wellness goals. Everyone that's working on their GLP-1s. We have friendly meals and new Mediterranean diet options. Packed with protein and good for you fats. We're talking about the best ready to eat meal kit in the United States of America. You throw it in the microwave, two minutes, and you're ready to go.

• 40:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, as the holiday season gears up, you got busier routines, shorter days. Finding time to cook can be tough. That's why I lean on Factor. And listen, you don't have to do it for every meal of the day. Do it for a couple of meals. Hey, you get this, man, you get six meals. That takes six meals out of the week. Easy, I don't have to think, and you get a healthy meal. Uh, they got more choices, better nutrition. That's why 90%, 97% of customers say that Factor helped them live a healthier lifestyle. And listen, baby, I'm one of them guys. Uh, eat smart at factormeals.com/garbage50off. And use the code garbage50off to get 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for a year. That's code garbage50off at factormeals.com for 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year.

• 40:57Speaker 01

  Get delicious, ready to eat meals delivered with Factor. Offer only valid for new Factor customers with code and qualified, qualifying auto-renewing subscription purchase. Do it. My elementary school, midway through, maybe, I was never a milk at lunch guy.

• 41:12H. Foley?

  Really?

• 41:12Speaker 01

  Nah, just doing can of coke.

• 41:16Speaker 01

  Wrapped in tin foil and sometimes warm, dude, a warm Coke on your... I feel your teeth rotting out in second grade.

• 41:22H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 41:23Speaker 01

  But, uh...

• 41:24H. Foley?

  Spring for the ice pack, Patty, will ya? You're wrapping it in tin foil?

• 41:28Speaker 01

  I didn't like the ice pack, then I gotta come home with stuff. That was a chore to me.

• 41:32H. Foley?

  Oh, that was, that was single use.

• 41:34Speaker 01

  I would, I would lose my, my mom would be like, "Where's your lunch bag?" I go, "Let's, give me the brown bag. What are we doing?"

• 41:41H. Foley?

  Where's your lunch suitcase?

• 41:44H. Foley?

  Walking it with a roller.

• 41:45Speaker 01

  Which, shout out to Fleazy, if you're on the Patreon, you might know him. Fleazy, our boy Fleazy.

• 41:50H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 41:50Speaker 01

  Top Flight Fleazy.

• 41:51H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 41:52Speaker 01

  He uses the roller bag. We should get behind that. Instead of a school bag, a backpack, walking around, everybody should roll with a roll. You should be able to roll day to day with a roller bag, the drag bag.

• 42:02H. Foley?

  What are you putting in there?

• 42:02Speaker 01

  What?

• 42:03H. Foley?

  What are you putting in there?

• 42:04Speaker 01

  What aren't you putting in there? How much better would your day be if you had all the comforts?

• 42:08H. Foley?

  It would be empty. I don't bring anything. I don't have anything.

• 42:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, cuz you don't wanna carry a bag.

• 42:12H. Foley?

  I would, I don't have nothing.

• 42:14Speaker 01

  You have some snacks in there? Some Rosenburgers milk?

• 42:17Speaker 01

  If it was socially acceptable, if we all rolled into work with a drag bag.

• 42:21H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 42:22Speaker 01

  Tired of going class to class with sore, sore shoulders and a broken spirit.

• 42:24H. Foley?

  Sure. TNT Entertainment.

• 42:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:27H. Foley?

  TNT Amusement.

• 42:28Speaker 01

  TNT Amusement. Shout out to Tucky. Uh, I'm just saying...

• 42:31H. Foley?

  And the whole Tucky family, especially during the holiday season.

• 42:34Speaker 01

  Yes. Um, that, I, I would get down with that. Yeah, a computer in there, some snacks, power bars, pack of heaters. You know, change your underwear.

• 42:44H. Foley?

  Well, this guy's lost his mind.

• 42:45Speaker 01

  What? You're not all, you're not in with that? You know what? You used to carry a bag.

• 42:51H. Foley?

  What?

• 42:51Speaker 01

  You used to run around the city in that mess, that Rockstar messenger bag, man. Where did, where did you get that? There was a version of Foley.

• 42:58H. Foley?

  I know exactly what you're talking about.

• 43:00Speaker 01

  It was like, it was like, I don't know the, where you got it.

• 43:04H. Foley?

  It was...

• 43:04Speaker 01

  You do claim you got it at an Army Navy surplus store, which I do not think you did. I think you got it at like...

• 43:09H. Foley?

  Bradley's.

• 43:10Speaker 01

  An Old Navy or something.

• 43:11H. Foley?

  You got it at Bradley's.

• 43:12Speaker 01

  And you used to claim, "Oh, what I..."

• 43:13H. Foley?

  It had red wings on it and a parachute thing.

• 43:16Speaker 01

  Uh-huh, and he would claim he got, you steal valor.

• 43:18H. Foley?

  I think I used to tell people it was an Israeli paratrooper bag.

• 43:21Speaker 01

  You did. Yes, you did. That's how nuts he is. That's how...

• 43:24H. Foley?

  It's Al Qaeda.

• 43:26Speaker 01

  Taliban. That's how, I got a friend at Gipmo, he sent it back.

• 43:32Speaker 01

  That's how nuts you are.

• 43:33H. Foley?

  Yeah, I used to, I used to have that and I had my notebooks in there. And I had it in New York. Somebody stole it from the Lantern one time and I found it a block away. That's when you know you're losing at life. When someone steals your bag and then leaves it on the street a block away. Nothing was taken out of it.

• 43:48Speaker 01

  Leaves a 20 in there for you?

• 43:49H. Foley?

  But it was opened. It was a dirty scarf that smelled like pure butt, because I wore it every day. And like some notebook with some bad jokes in there. And my pens, I was big on my pens. I had my, my micron Japanese drafting pen. That when I write it, when I wrote with it, I felt like such a, like I was a genius. I felt like a smart Asian kid.

• 44:08Speaker 01

  You...

• 44:10Speaker 01

  You did. I wasn't...

• 44:13H. Foley?

  But I wore that, my pleather jacket.

• 44:15Speaker 01

  Yeah. And that, that, that short sleeve, white, like with like black or red dot, the small dot shirts.

• 44:22H. Foley?

  God, that shirt. Did very well in that shirt a couple of times.

• 44:27Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 44:28H. Foley?

  On the SATs.

• 44:29Speaker 01

  Um, yeah, you were...

• 44:32H. Foley?

  What are you getting at? Did I stink?

• 44:34Speaker 01

  No. What, I mean, I don't know why you fucking snapped.

• 44:41Speaker 01

  I'm just saying, as a guy who liked the bag at one point, you did carry your stuff around. Imagine if you had a nice, a nice roller bag where it was socially acceptable to bring all your cool stuff.

• 44:49H. Foley?

  That was hot back then, wearing those things.

• 44:51Speaker 01

  I'm saying, what if this was hot? That would be cool. You roll up, you got all your stuff, your charger, your headphones, your keys.

• 44:58H. Foley?

  I think they would have to, I think I've said this to you before, it would have to be the ones that, that, that, that, uh, have power on them. You get on it and you ride away.

• 45:09H. Foley?

  That should become fashionable. We should all be zipping around the airport in those things.

• 45:15Speaker 01

  Nah.

• 45:15H. Foley?

  Yeah. That thing's sick. You pull your crackers out of your bag, have a cracker.

• 45:19Speaker 01

  See, now you got crackers. Now, see?

• 45:21H. Foley?

  Then you sit on it and fucking... Right down. We should all be zipping around. We should have little, we should have those one wheel things that we're all zipping around town in.

• 45:31Speaker 01

  I don't want to be on them.

• 45:32H. Foley?

  Why? You look cool.

• 45:35Speaker 01

  Uh-uh.

• 45:36H. Foley?

  You love that mess in your bag.

• 45:38Speaker 01

  I hated that thing. I hated it because like, you thought it was like a conversation starter because you would, you've made up an origin story of it, which it was not. I got this is in the Israeli paratrooper bag. And you're like, first of all, why is that cool?

• 45:51H. Foley?

  I don't know.

• 45:51Speaker 01

  Uh, it wa- it wasn't. Everybody go, ah, cool, man.

• 45:55H. Foley?

  You in the military? No.

• 45:56Speaker 01

  No.

• 45:58Speaker 02

  The military stuff you get at like Old Navy and like that mid 2000s was so corny.

• 46:04H. Foley?

  I had to think.

• 46:04Speaker 01

  That you're, you're, you're, you're looking at the spokesman.

• 46:07H. Foley?

  I remember, I remember, I remember when I fucking, when, when I, when I fatted out of, uh, Old Navy. It was a sad day.

• 46:13Speaker 01

  I remember that. I used to go to the one over like on like 6th, like the fashion district. And he'd go, I mean, he, this is what he would say though. Every day, for the listener, every day, I worked like a straight job. I worked at an office. So I had a very, you know, I was out by 5:30, 6 o'clock every, I'd be downtown, six, whatever. He was a little more jumping around, a little more, a little more piecing things together. You know what I mean? You were.

• 46:36H. Foley?

  There's a gig culture back then.

• 46:37Speaker 01

  Gig economy. So you were in and out of like, you do, you were waiter, you were waiting table, like steady jobs, but.

• 46:43H. Foley?

  Yeah, I got fired a couple of times.

• 46:44Speaker 01

  I'm not saying that. Uh, but sometimes you'd be working in the morning, afternoon, whatever. You were, you were a little more flex. I don't know why you're taking this the wrong way. That's all I'm saying is you were a little more like, it wasn't.

• 46:54H. Foley?

  And I'd do a little shopping before my spot.

• 46:57Speaker 01

  Yeah. So we'd meet up because we're not going home. We live so deep out in the borough. I lived all the way uptown. You lived all, I mean, you were, you were floating around at that time.

• 47:04H. Foley?

  Man.

• 47:05Speaker 01

  But instead of.

• 47:06H. Foley?

  A trash bag of clothes and a guitar.

• 47:08Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 47:10H. Foley?

  Yeah. From Bushwick to Astoria, from Astoria to Bensonhurst.

• 47:15Speaker 01

  But instead of going back to our respect, I mean, at that point, we were probably both on couches, going back to our respective couches.

• 47:21H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 47:22Speaker 01

  We would just meet up, hang out, find a Starbucks or something, post up. You introduced me to iced coffee. Thank you very much.

• 47:28H. Foley?

  I did?

• 47:29Speaker 01

  Uh-huh. I have a picture of it. I have a picture of the first day.

• 47:33H. Foley?

  You should tell me more things like this. That makes me feel great.

• 47:38Speaker 01

  You introduced me to Bryant Park, which is near and dear to my heart.

• 47:40H. Foley?

  Now who's that? How do they spell that with a Y?

• 47:44Speaker 01

  Was he in the Israeli Air Force with me?

• 47:48H. Foley?

  Taiwanese jet fighter. That's something I wanted to ask you.

• 47:53Speaker 01

  No, I'm not in the Taiwanese army.

• 47:55H. Foley?

  Is it, how lame is it?

• 47:56Speaker 01

  Very.

• 47:58H. Foley?

  We all wear bomber jackets.

• 48:00Speaker 01

  Not anymore. Bomber jackets are kind of phased out.

• 48:02H. Foley?

  I just wore mine today, because it fits now.

• 48:06Speaker 01

  But you bought it four years ago? You still look good and it's a vibe.

• 48:10H. Foley?

  No, I'm out.

• 48:11Speaker 01

  No, I'm telling you. It's cool that now no one's wearing them.

• 48:13H. Foley?

  By the way.

• 48:14Speaker 01

  I'm just saying, we're all not wearing bomber jackets.

• 48:16H. Foley?

  True classic.

• 48:17Speaker 01

  Hey, sponsor this episode.

• 48:19H. Foley?

  True, I'm back in the true classic.

• 48:20Speaker 01

  That's great.

• 48:21H. Foley?

  I got a whole pack of them at the house, too.

• 48:23Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 48:23H. Foley?

  All yellow.

• 48:26Speaker 01

  Great. Colonel mustard.

• 48:29H. Foley?

  Alright, I'm going today to get a new jacket. I want to get a new jacket anyway.

• 48:32Speaker 01

  No, no, no. I'm saying the bomber jacket looks good. That's a choice for you. That's cool.

• 48:35H. Foley?

  I got a meeting today. I want to look cool. So I'm gonna go down and pick up a jacket.

• 48:38Speaker 01

  Okay. But, I'm sorry, they cut you off. Just to put a button in it, I'd meet up with somebody and go, "Meet me in a fashion, Dino Little Shop. Meet me in a fashion district." Yeah, you would. Yeah, you would.

• 48:52H. Foley?

  Kippee, when you're shopping on 7th Avenue, you gotta look the part.

• 48:55Speaker 01

  And I'm like, alright. I remember, you're like, "Meet me at like, you know, whatever that, whatever, find out."

• 49:01H. Foley?

  It was a cluster of Old Navy, Brown and T. Code Factory, and TJ Maxx on 6th Avenue.

• 49:05Speaker 01

  6th and, no, but 7th then. It would've been like 7th and like 24th or something like that.

• 49:09H. Foley?

  Something.

• 49:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, in the 20s.

• 49:11H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 49:11Speaker 01

  I remember staying on the side of that Old Navy, cranking a heater.

• 49:14H. Foley?

  I came out like a million bucks.

• 49:16Speaker 01

  Dude, he turned a corner and goes, "Let's go." And I'm thinking, we're walking into like, fuck it, I don't even know, like John Varvatos or I don't even know the real, I think we're walking in somewhere where you got like a personal shopper, and he fucking kicks in the doors to the Old Navy.

• 49:31H. Foley?

  Tony!

• 49:34Speaker 01

  I was like, this guy's a mover and shaker.

• 49:36H. Foley?

  I remember. Really?

• 49:37Speaker 01

  No. You asked me to bum a cig. What are you, you asked for kills on my cig and then walked into an Old Navy?

• 49:44H. Foley?

  That's when I had these deals that Patty was, Patty was feeding me coupons from like Labor Day and shit. $10 off this, $10 off that. Remember those Old Navy things? Gift certificates are everywhere?

• 49:58H. Foley?

  Except that you jammed up, because I buy a lot of shit on clearance and they didn't count for the tickets. But I remember when I fatted out of Old Navy. Go in there, you know, I had them in an XL, maybe for a couple XLs.

• 50:10Speaker 01

  I remember you going, nah, that's not gonna swing it. Like you knew certain things.

• 50:14H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 50:14Speaker 01

  That's the way I was at H and M. Certain things just aren't gonna work. I gotta get...

• 50:18H. Foley?

  Hit 2X. It's limited, but you could find one.

• 50:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:22H. Foley?

  And then once that don't work, gang, it's been real. I'll be over at the DXL.

• 50:29Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 50:30H. Foley?

  Take care, Hank.

• 50:32H. Foley?

  Thanks, boys.

• 50:32Speaker 01

  Ahoy, matey.

• 50:33H. Foley?

  Wear a fleece for me one day, will you, fellas? Remember those fleeces? Every trash bag in Philly wore, those Old Navy fleeces?

• 50:41Speaker 01

  Performance fleece.

• 50:42H. Foley?

  Have a cigarette burn on there.

• 50:43Speaker 01

  Never big. I was never a fleece guy.

• 50:45H. Foley?

  No.

• 50:45Speaker 01

  I don't like the way it fell on me.

• 50:46H. Foley?

  I look like a fucking tennis ball.

• 50:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, I look like a smock. Bad look for the kid.

• 50:51H. Foley?

  Bad look.

• 50:52Speaker 01

  I look like a big mitten.

• 50:53H. Foley?

  Well, what I was gonna say is, is it garbage to wear the fighter jacket with the fighter patches on it?

• 51:00Speaker 01

  You got, listen, for us...

• 51:01H. Foley?

  Unless you're a fighter pilot.

• 51:03Speaker 01

  I think there's fashion, like there's guys who are, there's people who are into fashion where that does play. Like, and you're going like, this is a look I'm going, that's not our look.

• 51:12H. Foley?

  No. What?

• 51:13Speaker 01

  We look like we're about to storm the Capitol.

• 51:18H. Foley?

  I got a raccoon hat on.

• 51:22H. Foley?

  Fucking trash can lid as a shield. You ever see those?

• 51:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, it would be a bad look. You can't... When...

• 51:33H. Foley?

  Running at an FBI agent with a folding chair strapped to your arm? You're gonna lose that battle.

• 51:40Speaker 01

  When dudes like us try to do anything like, not that...

• 51:43H. Foley?

  Cool.

• 51:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, cool, it's just, we're just not cool guys. I've... I've...

• 51:52H. Foley?

  Family show, gang.

• 51:53Speaker 01

  Uh, I don't know if I told you.

• 51:55H. Foley?

  What? Somebody asking about me?

• 51:57Speaker 01

  Somebody said they were opposed to me? No, the good boys at, uh, Carhartt reached out to me.

• 52:01H. Foley?

  Get the fuck out of here.

• 52:02Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 52:03H. Foley?

  Cease and desist?

• 52:04Speaker 01

  That's what I said. Wait till, wait till that merch, wait till you see that new merch drop, gang. This email ain't gonna be too sweet.

• 52:11H. Foley?

  That's what I need is a new Carhartt. Hit me up!

• 52:13Speaker 01

  No, I'm Carhartt. You're not, I'm the Car. They say, "Hey, Kebby, we realize you're wearing Carhartt all the time." I said, "Buddy, I just put in an order." He goes, "We'll send you some stuff."

• 52:19H. Foley?

  I need a brand.

• 52:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, go find one.

• 52:22H. Foley?

  Yeah. Timmy, Timmy D's got the polo.

• 52:24Speaker 01

  Old Navy. Buddy, I've been trying to get you in cool shit. In okay, not cool shit, in decent looking shit. You fight me on it. You do. I'd send Diesel, I'd take you shopping.

• 52:33H. Foley?

  Is Superdry coming back? Remember dudes wearing that shit when we got up here open mic? Cause dudes always rocking Superdry. I went in there one time, I was like, "What the fuck? That ain't a medium." And this shit is expensive.

• 52:46Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 52:47H. Foley?

  Yeah. But when I was a kid, I can't, however I'm gonna express this, I am underestimating it. Or I am underselling it. I wanted Tom Cruise's jacket from Top Gun so fucking bad. I thought if I had that jacket and a motorcycle,

• 53:07H. Foley?

  and could fly an F-14, I would be alright. I mean, that dude was killing it. You ever see that jacket?

• 53:15Speaker 01

  You gotta be able to back it up, I would say. Well, you did make it to the-

• 53:18H. Foley?

  Work the stick. I can't.

• 53:19Speaker 01

  You didn't, you did make it to the Israeli Air Force, so that's pretty good.

• 53:23H. Foley?

  Paratrooper.

• 53:25H. Foley?

  I don't know what it was. It was a red something. It was a grenade bag, I think. They put your grenades in there. Cause I remember seeing it in a couple of movies when they were like-

• 53:33Speaker 01

  It was a, what do you mean? No, it wasn't.

• 53:35H. Foley?

  No, but that's what it was used for, I think, in the military. What?

• 53:38Speaker 01

  It was a, what? Stop trying to sell, wait, dude, you're-

• 53:41H. Foley?

  No, that style of bag.

• 53:42Speaker 01

  It was a messenger bag.

• 53:44H. Foley?

  Yeah, but in the army, they would put grenades and shit in there.

• 53:47Speaker 01

  That bag was not in the army.

• 53:48H. Foley?

  No, not that specific bag, that style.

• 53:51Speaker 01

  It was a messenger bag.

• 53:52H. Foley?

  I think it was a World War II grenade bag.

• 53:54Speaker 01

  It was a green messenger bag that you bought, that you bought, as you said, at Bradley's.

• 54:00H. Foley?

  I've seen it in movies, where they were like about to all get killed, and then you pull a couple of, you, you always have a bag of grenades that in the last minute, you pull all the pins.

• 54:08Speaker 01

  You just got burgers in there. Fuck, wrong bag.

• 54:11H. Foley?

  And you go in and then you drop all the pins in front of the monster, whoever.

• 54:14Speaker 01

  Did I ever tell you the time I bought a grenade? My mom-

• 54:16H. Foley?

  Bought a grenade?

• 54:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, there was this, uh-

• 54:17H. Foley?

  I jumped on a couple.

• 54:20H. Foley?

  Only in New York.

• 54:23Speaker 01

  Hawks eat squirrels.

• 54:26Speaker 01

  We went to some weird, uh, not like-

• 54:30H. Foley?

  Expo?

• 54:30Speaker 01

  No, like, which I did, I did make my dad take me to the gun expo one time. He was again, that and like the record one where it's like-

• 54:38H. Foley?

  Oh, I've been to that.

• 54:39Speaker 01

  That thing, my dad walked in, he goes, he goes, buddy, this is-

• 54:43H. Foley?

  You gotta get some pussy.

• 54:45Speaker 01

  I was young, I was probably like eight, nine. It was a lesson. He went, these things, he's like, cause they were advertising it on the radio all the time and he's like- This is when I was going to work with them a lot, or just in the car when we were-

• 54:57H. Foley?

  Wait, this is like the thing downtown, like would they have the old records and they have posters and all that stuff?

• 55:01Speaker 01

  This was at the Valley Forge Convention Center.

• 55:05H. Foley?

  He's pretty, listen kid.

• 55:07Speaker 01

  No, he's just like, it's not gonna be what you think it is. I go, they said they got 10 million records in this place.

• 55:12H. Foley?

  Did you have a record player?

• 55:13Speaker 01

  Or just albums, CDs, things you couldn't get, stickers, tour, merch, and like, I was like getting into-

• 55:19H. Foley?

  A Japanese vinyl?

• 55:21Speaker 01

  Not even, it wasn't even like specifics, it was just like, this is cool. I don't know, music, it's cool. They were fucking President Steve were advertising, I had to get there.

• 55:29H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 55:29Speaker 01

  And he goes, it's not gonna be what you think it is. And I remember walking in and there was like nine, it was like a bunch of tables and like nine people walking, it was like- Like a tumbleweed blew across and he's, I was like, ah.

• 55:41H. Foley?

  Let's just go to Friendly's.

• 55:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, we did one half a lap and he's like, you know, you see, I told, he's like this stuff, he's like, you can't believe everything you read type deal.

• 55:49H. Foley?

  Oh, man.

• 55:50Speaker 01

  It was very much, that's how they get ya. You know what I mean?

• 55:53H. Foley?

  Yeah. Took you to a gun show?

• 55:55Speaker 01

  I think so. I was into guns at a young age.

• 55:57H. Foley?

  Really?

• 55:58Speaker 01

  Yeah. I told you I had a holster. Took me to a real, he went and bought me a real holster.

• 56:03H. Foley?

  Cheese steak?

• 56:06Speaker 01

  But I went to this-

• 56:07H. Foley?

  Sure you kept your ketchup?

• 56:08Speaker 01

  But I went to this, uh, my mom took me to this, like, not a farmer's market, but like, uh-

• 56:14Speaker 01

  It was like a shat, it was like a collection of-

• 56:17H. Foley?

  An auction, trying to sell you? 45, 65, 75?

• 56:21Speaker 01

  Sports-induced asthma. Um, whatever, and they had a grenade with the drilled out bottom, like a real grenade. And he goes, I'm not supposed to be selling these, cause you can find out how to fill them on the internet.

• 56:38H. Foley?

  I'll take two.

• 56:39Speaker 01

  And my mom goes, "Well, we don't have the internet." And then bought me an old decommissioned hand grenade. And I wanted to be like, "This is how, this is what you see on the news."

• 56:50H. Foley?

  And what did you do with it?

• 56:51Speaker 01

  I just thought it was cool. I fucking play with it, throw it, dive over the couch, fucking cover your ears and shit. Fucking clear a room, fucking bust a bunker. What do you need me to do, dude?

• 57:02H. Foley?

  Your mom's trying to make dinner, you're flashbanging her?

• 57:06H. Foley?

  Come here!

• 57:08H. Foley?

  Man.

• 57:12H. Foley?

  Whew. You've really turned things around.

• 57:16Speaker 01

  So have you. What are you talking about?

• 57:17H. Foley?

  I haven't, you have.

• 57:19Speaker 01

  What if I turned around?

• 57:20H. Foley?

  We really got you straightened out, didn't we, boy?

• 57:22Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 57:22H. Foley?

  From Forrest Gump. I mean, you were a dork. Now you're a successful businessman, podcaster, comedian.

• 57:29Speaker 01

  I was eight years old. I'm not like 16 doing this. I was smoking heaters and drinking frosty brews at that point.

• 57:38Speaker 01

  Many men wish death upon me. Me and Pat cruising out with sideways hats, cruising out to 50 Cent. Many men cranking heaters.

• 57:46H. Foley?

  You girls wanna see my grenade?

• 57:50Speaker 01

  Show my asshole.

• 57:53H. Foley?

  Boom.

• 58:06Speaker 01

  Uh, speaking of weird little kids, Dr. Chalupa-Cabra. That's a pretty good name.

• 58:12H. Foley?

  That's great. They should make that a Taco Bell, the Chalupa-Cabra.

• 58:16Speaker 01

  Haunting your dreams? Is that what the Chupacabra, is the Chupacabra real? No, it's a mythical beast.

• 58:21H. Foley?

  Mythical beast.

• 58:24Speaker 01

  Uh, is it garbage if you used to flip your eyelids as a kid?

• 58:29H. Foley?

  I saw a meme the other day that said, like, nine out of ten kids that flipped their eyebrows, or flipped their eyelids are in prison.

• 58:36Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 58:37H. Foley?

  Yeah, it was only a certain ambidextrous person that could do it.

• 58:41Speaker 01

  I don't know if that's the right word, but sure.

• 58:43H. Foley?

  They could do that, they could do the spit down and suck it back up, snap their arm, they had a really good bang, bang, bang.

• 58:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, same kid, uh, same kid in my grade, buddy of mine, could flip his eyelids, he could do the lips where like, kinda like Fire Marshal Bill.

• 58:58H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah.

• 58:59Speaker 01

  They go up and down and it's just his teeth, and he could also make himself fart.

• 59:02H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 59:03Speaker 01

  He could suck air in his ass.

• 59:04H. Foley?

  That's crazy.

• 59:05Speaker 01

  I don't know how to...

• 59:06H. Foley?

  Good time in college.

• 59:07Speaker 01

  I remember getting picked, I mean, again, we were probably ten, twelve, you know, out of something, and he showed me that at his house. I was like, "Yeah, you know, he can fart on demand," I said. "I'm gonna have to get some ice on this."

• 59:18H. Foley?

  I'll show you, make it even.

• 59:21H. Foley?

  You fart.

• 59:22Speaker 01

  Somebody pull, pull the pin on this guy, okay? And, so, I remember getting in the car and going, "Dad, you're not gonna believe what Matt can do."

• 59:36H. Foley?

  I know you're behind on the mortgage and all that stuff, but wait to hear this.

• 59:39Speaker 01

  I think I got the, I got the answer to all of our problems.

• 59:45H. Foley?

  We get this freak down to Atlantic City?

• 59:46Speaker 01

  You get him at the Valley Forge Convention Center, we start selling tickets. We start running ads, people paying to see this guy, you wet your beak. Yeah, that was, uh...

• 59:57H. Foley?

  Joe Testarini, the magic farting boy. Step right up.

• 1:00:03Speaker 01

  And the one time we made him do it in the pool and he sucked in water.

• 1:00:08H. Foley?

  Caught a parasite, he was dead in a week.

• 1:00:13H. Foley?

  Apparently chlorine's not good for the gallbladder.

• 1:00:17Speaker 01

  That's crazy.

• 1:00:18H. Foley?

  Oh, God!

• 1:00:20Speaker 01

  He shit himself. Just gave him diarrhea.

• 1:00:30H. Foley?

  I think a leaf cut in there.

• 1:00:36H. Foley?

  Ah, that's dangerous. Opening up your butthole in a body of water?

• 1:00:40Speaker 01

  We didn't know what we were doing.

• 1:00:43Speaker 01

  I remember he was having a party and I str- I, I don't know if I was smoking, I guess I was smoking cigarettes, I had a pack of matches on me. And I struck a match in his basement. And his mom came down and fucking reamed me out. A bad, I don't know if I got kicked out, but it was like, who's got matches? And someone narked on me real quick.

• 1:01:03H. Foley?

  Were you smoking?

• 1:01:04Speaker 01

  Not in the house, I think I just-

• 1:01:05H. Foley?

  You just had matches?

• 1:01:06Speaker 01

  I was probably smoking at the time, yeah. Yeah, we're in junior high-

• 1:01:09H. Foley?

  Were you just lighting matches?

• 1:01:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, I guess, I don't know. I'm fucking-

• 1:01:12Speaker 02

  Freak, he's farting all the time.

• 1:01:15Speaker 01

  But I, I think I was so used to my houses-

• 1:01:18H. Foley?

  Real who's who you rolled with?

• 1:01:19Speaker 01

  My houses you could smoke in, so I'm going, there's no way they could smell a match. You know what I mean? Like, if you struck a match in my dad's house, it wouldn't, he wouldn't be able to sniff it out three floors down, you know what I mean? And she can't do it, it was like, she came down the stairs.

• 1:01:38H. Foley?

  Like the Terminator.

• 1:01:39Speaker 01

  Fucking reamed me, ew. We weren't a lot of hangout together anymore. I was a bad kid.

• 1:01:45H. Foley?

  There was something about getting yelled at-

• 1:01:46Speaker 01

  Compared to him.

• 1:01:47H. Foley?

  As a kid, when you were fat, that made you feel worse. I don't know what it was, but I was aware of my fatness whenever I got yelled at. I was just waiting for the parent to be like, "You fat little bastard."

• 1:01:58Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:01:58H. Foley?

  I don't know why.

• 1:01:59Speaker 01

  Is this because I'm fat?

• 1:02:04H. Foley?

  No, you broke my window.

• 1:02:07Speaker 01

  You called my daughter a whore. Ah, that's when we were deep sixing each other, remember that? Do you know deep six?

• 1:02:16H. Foley?

  Is that what you call it?

• 1:02:17Speaker 01

  Deep two and a half.

• 1:02:20H. Foley?

  Finger blasting each other?

• 1:02:21Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:02:22H. Foley?

  Deep sixing each other?

• 1:02:22Speaker 01

  Where you make yourself pass out?

• 1:02:24H. Foley?

  That's what you call that?

• 1:02:26Speaker 01

  And then you push on their chest?

• 1:02:28H. Foley?

  We just called that the pass out game. I did it once, not for me.

• 1:02:32Speaker 01

  Do, uh, Google deep six, see if that's the thing.

• 1:02:34Speaker 02

  We called it the pass out game.

• 1:02:35H. Foley?

  I knew kids that would do that every day. Dude, we had a kid do-

• 1:02:37Speaker 01

  Too much cuz it would be like you breathe in and out five times or whatever and then he would be like, let me do 15 deep breaths and this kid's bad news now like,

• 1:02:45H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:46Speaker 01

  Off the reservation.

• 1:02:47H. Foley?

  Attic behavior.

• 1:02:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, oh dude. At a very, at like 16, he's like,

• 1:02:52H. Foley?

  It's when you know, dog.

• 1:02:53Speaker 01

  He's institutionalized for, and now he's, he's not doing great, but I've ever been like, guy, relax, I got, I got the matches.

• 1:03:02H. Foley?

  Galaxy gas, same similar effect.

• 1:03:05Speaker 01

  What's galaxy gas?

• 1:03:06H. Foley?

  Nitrous.

• 1:03:07Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:03:08Speaker 02

  Um, I don't have deep six.

• 1:03:10Speaker 01

  Who are you, my mom? I think they're doing galaxy gas.

• 1:03:13H. Foley?

  That's what the kids are calling it now.

• 1:03:14Speaker 01

  Fucking nitrous.

• 1:03:17Speaker 02

  They don't call it deep six, it seems like on the internet, but they also call it space monkeys. Fainting game, choking game.

• 1:03:23Speaker 01

  That's great, space monkey. That's really, that's way better than deep six. Don't ever play space, it sounds like a video game.

• 1:03:29H. Foley?

  Don't do that, kids out there if you're listening, don't do that shit.

• 1:03:32Speaker 01

  It's bad news.

• 1:03:32H. Foley?

  You stay in school and eat your vegetables, smoke your heaters.

• 1:03:37H. Foley?

  Like a gentleman.

• 1:03:39H. Foley?

  I had sex in a hot tub one time.

• 1:03:42Speaker 01

  Sweet.

• 1:03:43H. Foley?

  That's from a couple minutes ago, you're talking about the farting in the pool.

• 1:03:45Speaker 01

  Uh huh, okay.

• 1:03:47H. Foley?

  Plus this one, everybody know, kinda wicked UTI.

• 1:03:50Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:03:50H. Foley?

  Wicked.

• 1:03:51Speaker 01

  What was his name?

• 1:03:54Speaker 01

  We'll be right back.

• 1:03:57Speaker 01

  Um, all right, let's see here. Uh, this is from Daniel from Shaw in New York. $10 Wawa BLT hoagie with ranch and Old Bay, never have one red.

• 1:04:06H. Foley?

  That's what you're doing?

• 1:04:07Speaker 01

  You can do Old Bay at Wawa?

• 1:04:08H. Foley?

  Fuck that.

• 1:04:09Speaker 01

  No way. Can you see if that's on the menu?

• 1:04:11H. Foley?

  Old Bay on a sandwich?

• 1:04:12Speaker 01

  They do BLT, I guess.

• 1:04:14H. Foley?

  They do BLT.

• 1:04:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, I don't, uh,

• 1:04:15H. Foley?

  I told you, they have that special sizzly.

• 1:04:18Speaker 02

  It's on the menu.

• 1:04:18Speaker 01

  Old Bay's on a menu.

• 1:04:19H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah, I know the spices.

• 1:04:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't, not perusing the spice menu that much.

• 1:04:24H. Foley?

  Yeah, me neither.

• 1:04:26Speaker 01

  Is it garbage to take a break mid-sandwich slash meal to floss your teeth and then get back to eating? I eat a 10-inch classic, hit the placers, and then crush the second half with fresh chompers.

• 1:04:39H. Foley?

  It's trashy, but I know exactly where you're coming from. You don't feel, he gets a lot of stuff in his teeth, probably could use some dental work. I have a spot right here. Where I always get a little tendon or something get stuck in there.

• 1:04:51Speaker 01

  You get like the white chunk of bread that's like too white.

• 1:04:54H. Foley?

  If I can't get that out, it freaks me out.

• 1:04:56Speaker 01

  I get it.

• 1:04:56H. Foley?

  So I respect it. You're coming back in fresh. That's like going in halftime and having a Gatorade. Getting your head on straight.

• 1:05:01Speaker 01

  Sure. Uh, I, I mean, I've honestly never really heard of it or thought about it. It's like, that could be classy. If you're doing it and like putting it on the dashboard of your car, I'd have to argue not classy. But I don't know.

• 1:05:13H. Foley?

  I flush my dental floss.

• 1:05:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, I thought you're probably not supposed to do that.

• 1:05:18H. Foley?

  Sometimes I forget to.

• 1:05:19Speaker 01

  I mean, I'm sure it's fine, but.

• 1:05:21H. Foley?

  People get very upset when they see it in the toilet, which I don't understand why.

• 1:05:25Speaker 01

  Um, yeah, I just like, it's just not, it's someone else's refuse of some kind, I guess the argument would be of like, just flush the fucking toilet, you lazy motherfucker. That's what I think they would be saying.

• 1:05:37H. Foley?

  It's not me talking to you, Brad. I like you.

• 1:05:39Speaker 01

  I like you. You're a nice guy. I'm saying this is what probably someone who doesn't like you would say.

• 1:05:43Speaker 02

  Should never flush dental floss.

• 1:05:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't, you're not supposed to flush much.

• 1:05:46H. Foley?

  Shouldn't do a lot of stuff. What are we doing here? Okay, we're here to make mistakes and love each other.

• 1:05:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:57H. Foley?

  And get our, get our hearts broken.

• 1:05:58Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:05:59H. Foley?

  And write music. And laugh and sing. Watch TV. Get a hoagie.

• 1:06:06Speaker 01

  Get two.

• 1:06:07H. Foley?

  Forget about the rules, man.

• 1:06:08Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 1:06:09H. Foley?

  Right?

• 1:06:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:10H. Foley?

  You know what I'm saying?

• 1:06:11Speaker 02

  Live a life.

• 1:06:12H. Foley?

  Live a life. Flush or wipe. Who cares?

• 1:06:17Speaker 01

  You jam up half a Queens, they gotta open up the, you know.

• 1:06:20H. Foley?

  Open up the main?

• 1:06:21Speaker 01

  Mars Boulevard. Jam, jam everyone up.

• 1:06:25H. Foley?

  We're there anyway.

• 1:06:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's what guys who do that kind of stuff. I'm not saying you're bad. I'm just saying like that's your.

• 1:06:32H. Foley?

  I'm bad.

• 1:06:34Speaker 01

  Oh, I'm bad. Um, all right, let's see here. We got time for one more. This was from Zachary. Uh, faithful Navy Fed overdrafter here.

• 1:06:43H. Foley?

  My man.

• 1:06:43Speaker 01

  Uh, is it garbage that we only had cash to buy tickets to the Pittsburgh show you just dropped? So we ran to our local Dollar General to get a Visa gift card to snag them VIP tickets up. We'll see you again in June.

• 1:07:00Speaker 01

  If you wondered why we couldn't use my card, it's because it was overdrafted. That-

• 1:07:04H. Foley?

  Tell you what, whoever you're coming with, you got two t-shirts waiting for you at the show.

• 1:07:09Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 1:07:09H. Foley?

  How about that?

• 1:07:10Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. Just opened the door to everybody hitting you up with a sob story and just costs us $10,000 in merch.

• 1:07:15H. Foley?

  No, that's it!

• 1:07:16Speaker 01

  All sales final.

• 1:07:18H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:18Speaker 01

  Um, I didn't, I mean dude, that is, it takes that kind of problem solving and resourcefulness that I've been, I, listen, I have been there.

• 1:07:26H. Foley?

  You gotta be a dirtbag to know that stuff.

• 1:07:27Speaker 01

  You have to truly, and just not accept your, that is part of being a true dirtbag, is not accepting where you currently are. Of just going like, "I don't have a credit card to buy these tickets," or whatever, or to go get drunk, or to buy these heaters. That ain't stopping me.

• 1:07:46H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:46Speaker 01

  "I'm gonna find the quarters to get my ciggies. I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna overdraft, pull out cash." Something to keep the plate sped-

• 1:07:54H. Foley?

  "I'm gonna run to Dollar General and get a gift card and do it online." You know it's a big one on that? People getting their check on, "I got my check, but it's not gonna be clear until Monday."

• 1:08:03Speaker 01

  What? I never let that stay.

• 1:08:05H. Foley?

  "Give me the check and 5% and I'll be back in 20 minutes with your money."

• 1:08:09Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:08:10H. Foley?

  What?

• 1:08:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:11H. Foley?

  Not taking no for an answer.

• 1:08:13Speaker 01

  There's, if you got a-

• 1:08:14H. Foley?

  Figuring it out.

• 1:08:15Speaker 01

  Uh-huh. Dude, I remember the, I went to, uh, my, my first job out of college, it was at a roofing, I was selling roofs and windows door to door, and they went, it was, I was so jammed up, it was Friday, and Friday morning, I'm so jammed up. And they hit me with a, I'm probably making...

• 1:08:33Speaker 01

  29, or I'm probably making 30 grand a year.

• 1:08:37H. Foley?

  Were you really jammed up, or did you just want that money to-

• 1:08:38Speaker 01

  No, I'm jammed up.

• 1:08:39H. Foley?

  I always say that like, "I gotta cash this check today," but I always underspend it on him or her, you know what I mean? This or that.

• 1:08:46Speaker 01

  Sure, but my, I might take, I remember my time at, that, mm, I mean, this is, hold on, let's do the math. I was making $500 a week was my pay.

• 1:08:56H. Foley?

  Gross.

• 1:08:58Speaker 01

  Gross. My net was like 322 or 388 something. And then I show, so now, come Friday, what's 500?

• 1:09:07H. Foley?

  You're making 26,000 a year.

• 1:09:08Speaker 01

  26,000 dollars a year.

• 1:09:09H. Foley?

  I've never looked at a-

• 1:09:09Speaker 01

  Plus commission, I never got one commission check.

• 1:09:10H. Foley?

  I've never looked at a paycheck and thought that it was right. This has gotta be, this is wrong.

• 1:09:15Speaker 01

  Well, I knew, but there, whatever. So I remember, I remember I showed up. So dude, 388, a dirtbag, I'm 23 years old.

• 1:09:23H. Foley?

  That's a great weekend.

• 1:09:24Speaker 01

  That's, that's a solid weekend with the boys.

• 1:09:27H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 1:09:27Speaker 01

  That's drinking Friday night, drinking Saturday night, maybe hitting a mall, buying a fucking, a new button up at fucking, you know, something to keep, a pair of shoes or something.

• 1:09:36H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 1:09:38Speaker 01

  Uh, and then, gas in the car, need gas for the week, fill up the tank, heater, sizzlys, the whole night. And that ain't making you that far. Um, and I needed the money so bad, and I get there and the guy goes, uh, "Hey, we're changing banks, you're not gonna get paid till Tuesday." And I went, "What the fuck's that gotta do with a guy named Kevin James Ryan? Ain't fucking shit."

• 1:10:01H. Foley?

  Well, you're not getting the showroom door back until then.

• 1:10:05Speaker 01

  I got the sample windows in the trunk of the Tigo.

• 1:10:08H. Foley?

  I'll sell them on the streets down at the fucking Italian market.

• 1:10:11Speaker 01

  And I wanted to be like, I said to my direct boss, I went, "Guy, I ain't leaving here without fucking 322 dollars. I don't know what to tell you."

• 1:10:20H. Foley?

  You can fire me if you want.

• 1:10:22Speaker 01

  I'm on E right now, like, I can't get home. I need the cash. I came here to pick up my cash. And he goes, "Ah, yeah, you can't wait till mi-" I go, "Hey, either you start-"

• 1:10:32H. Foley?

  Who the fuck, wait till Monday. What, what's, wait, what, what's Monday?

• 1:10:36Speaker 01

  I said, "You go hit the ATM personally, and I'll sign my check over to you come Monday, or fucking tell big, big man in the front office out there."

• 1:10:46H. Foley?

  Go get Mr. Anderson. He's got his fucking money.

• 1:10:49Speaker 01

  He's got his triple payin' cash.

• 1:10:50H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:51Speaker 01

  I go, "Make go with the 388 or 322, whatever it was." That's crazy. I mean, listen, I run a, I run a fair ship for the most part. If I've ever been like, guys, you're not getting paid till, I go, um, I got it. If you need it, I'll cover whatever it is. You don't fucking stiff a guy making fucking 26 grand a year.

• 1:11:10H. Foley?

  Imagine if I was running the books. That would be happening a lot. They're not on purpose, but.

• 1:11:14Speaker 01

  You're just bad with money.

• 1:11:15H. Foley?

  Yeah. What would you be, you'd be coming in with a fucking picket sign.

• 1:11:20Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. They'd do, there would be a fucking, they'd be unionizing against you.

• 1:11:25H. Foley?

  If lunch is late. You're a little testy.

• 1:11:28Speaker 02

  You freak out.

• 1:11:29Speaker 01

  Yeah. What are you talking about?

• 1:11:31H. Foley?

  Luke, where's Lenwich?

• 1:11:33Speaker 01

  That's what you do.

• 1:11:34H. Foley?

  I don't say that.

• 1:11:35Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:11:36Speaker 02

  Make sure to put my order in right.

• 1:11:38Speaker 01

  Luke, did you get my order in as you're staring down over your glasses with your scowl?

• 1:11:42Speaker 02

  I don't like olives. The next week, I really like olives.

• 1:11:46Speaker 01

  You know what I've been into recently? All right, we gotta wrap it up.

• 1:11:49H. Foley?

  Gang, we love you to death, Philadelphia. We'll see you on December 13th at the Metropolitan Theater.

• 1:11:53Speaker 01

  Not only Philadelphia.

• 1:11:54H. Foley?

  Of course, we got a lot of stuff going on.

• 1:11:56Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:11:57H. Foley?

  Big tour this, this, uh, next year.

• 1:11:59Speaker 01

  Uh huh. Where are we going?

• 1:12:01H. Foley?

  Where are we going?

• 1:12:02Speaker 01

  I'm gonna tell you where we're going. How's that sound?

• 1:12:04H. Foley?

  I'll tell you where we're going.

• 1:12:05Speaker 01

  No, I'll do it in order. All right. So starting, we're going to, obviously.

• 1:12:08H. Foley?

  Going to lunch.

• 1:12:10Speaker 01

  So, uh, hold on, let's just even coming up. Uh, we got Charlotte, Raleigh, Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore, Maryland, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania for the homecoming show every year we do. Shout out to the boys. Then we got Rochester, Toronto, those are almost sold out or going very quick. We got Austin, Tampa, Chicago, Bloomington, Nashville, Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Ohio. Get your tickets. The boys are coming and we're hanging out.

• 1:12:31H. Foley?

  That's Bloomington, Indiana at the Comedy Attic.

• 1:12:33Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:12:33H. Foley?

  Does he, you know there's a Bloomington, Illinois?

• 1:12:35Speaker 01

  I believe I did know that. There's a...

• 1:12:38H. Foley?

  Shout out to Laura on Instagram asked me that.

• 1:12:40Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:12:41H. Foley?

  Is there, do you come to Bloomington, Indiana or Bloomington, Illinois? I was like, I don't know.

• 1:12:45Speaker 01

  Talk to kippie. I got a Lenwich order going.

• 1:12:48H. Foley?

  Excited to get to the Comedy Attic.

• 1:12:49Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:12:49H. Foley?

  Never been.

• 1:12:50Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:12:51H. Foley?

  Love it. Got the merch too.

• 1:12:53Speaker 01

  Got the merch.

• 1:12:54H. Foley?

  Pick up a Bug Man shirt.

• 1:12:56Speaker 01

  They are not moving that well. Shit. Hand to God, shocked. I thought that was gonna, typically whenever we do like a kippies or a folies, they move very well and we didn't do a kippies this time.

• 1:13:08H. Foley?

  They don't want that stink on them.

• 1:13:10Speaker 01

  Man, nobody wants the worst summer. We sold about six of them fucking things. Everything else is flying off the fucking chart.

• 1:13:16H. Foley?

  Ah, I love it. Gang, we love you. We'll see you next week. Peace.

• 1:13:20Speaker 03

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