How to Find Your Purpose, Get Unstuck & Ignite Your Dreams w/ Bumble Founder Whitney Wolfe Herd

Full Video Available on YouTube @JamieKernLimaOfficial. Are You Ready to believe in YOU?🙌 jamiekernlima.com 👈 Sign up for my FREE Inspirational Newsletter here and you’ll ALSO get special prompt questions to help you grow in your self-worth-building that pair with each episode!🩷 Make sure to click the “Follow” button for the show on your favorite podcast app, so you’ll be the first to get each episode! ____ Get ready to find your purpose, get unstick and ignite your dreams! I am SO excited for this episode today, with my amazing friend, founder and CEO of Bumble, Whitney Wolfe Herd! These next few minutes together today with you, me and Whitney are going to be magical! So buckle up, because if you’re someone who needs to reignite inspiration in your life today, if you need that boost to get unstuck and decide it’s time to write your own rules, in life, in love and in your goals and dreams! If you’re someone who wants to learn how you can get more love and connection, and even more true friends in your life right now, today’s episode is for you! It’s so easy to see someone’s story on the outside, or see the outcome, in Whitney’s case she’s been touted as becoming one of the youngest female billionaires in the country and has graced the covers of countless magazines as a visionary and success story, but just like you and like me, it’s the story behind the story, that’s where the most inspiring and interesting parts are! Those are the stories where we learn we’re not alone, and that our own wild crazy dreams just might be possible for us too! Whitney’s incredible journey of ups and downs, of being totally on top and IN, and then totally on the bottom and OUT, and then building her own mountain again to build the life on her dreams, on her terms, while touching the lives of millions of others along the way…I just know is going shake your shoulders in best possible way, touch your soul, and wake up that unstoppable power inside of you to change your life today! And whether you're joining me today for yourself or because someone that you love shared this episode with you, I want to welcome you to the Jamie Kern Lima Show podcast family. And remember this episode is not just for you and me. Please share it with every single person that you know because it can change their life too. Episode Reflection Questions for YOU: Jamie writes prompt questions each episode to spark revelations in your self-worth journey and help you apply the tools and lessons from each episode into your real life right now. Please make sure you’re signed up for Jamie’s free inspirational newsletter jamiekernlima.com 👈 Get my new book WORTHY plus FREE Bonus gifts including a 95+ page Worthy Workbook and more at WorthyBook.com For more resources related to today’s episode, click here https://jamiekernlima.com/show/ for the podcast episode page. Chapters: 0:00 Welcome to The Jamie Kern Lima Show 8:25 The One Thing No One Can Take From You 14:20 Things Are Happening FOR You, Not TO You 26:20 Your Worst Day Can Become Your Best Day! 32:15 The Key To Success (From 2 Billion-Dollar Business Builders) 41:35 “Life Is About Attention & Intention” 47:47 Has God Ever Spoken To You? It’s such an honor to share this podcast together with you. And please note: I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Click Here to Subscribe to the YouTube Channel Follow me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook Website — Sign up for my inspirational newsletter for YOU at: jamiekernlima.com — Looking for my books on Amazon? Here they are! WORTHY Believe IT

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Jamie Kern Lima?

  I am so excited for this episode today with my amazing friend, founder and CEO of Bumble, Whitney Wolf Herd. These next few minutes together today with you, me and Whitney are going to be so magical. So buckle up because if you're someone who needs to reignite inspiration in your life today, if you need that boost to get unstuck and decide it's time to write your own rules in life, love, and in your goals and dreams. If you're someone who wants to learn how you can get more love and connection and even more true friends in your life right now, today's episode is for you. It's so easy to see someone's story on the outside or see the outcome.

• 0:45Jamie Kern Lima?

  In Whitney's case, she's been touted as becoming one of the youngest female billionaires in the country and has graced the covers of countless magazines as a visionary and success story. But just like you and me, it's the story behind the story. That's where the most inspiring and interesting parts are. Those are the stories where we learn that we're not alone and that our own wild, crazy dreams just might be possible for us too. Whitney's incredible journey of ups and downs, of being totally on top and in, and then totally on bottom and out, and then building her own mountain again to build the life of her dreams on her terms,

• 1:29Jamie Kern Lima?

  while touching the lives of millions of others along the way. I just know it's going to shake your shoulders in the best way, touch your soul and wake up that unstoppable power inside of you to change your life today. Coming up in this episode.

• 1:48Speaker 01

  I've come to realize that self-worth does not equal net worth. But I will tell you that on paper, at my on paper wealthiest, according to society's standards, I was spiritually the poorest I've ever been.

• 2:03Jamie Kern Lima?

  You're just going there right away and I love this so much.

• 2:07Speaker 01

  And I just watched myself get decimated on the internet and turned into...

• 2:13Speaker 01

  This scorned woman. And just like that, at 24, it was all over. So, yeah, I retreated to Uggs and staying inside and hiding. I didn't have anything. I... Everything had been stripped. I was turned on and I had nothing. But it's one of the best things that ever happened to me. Because when you have your dignity, perceived dignity, your perceived self-worth taken from you, this kind of magical thing happens where you realize you've nothing left to fear.

• 2:56Speaker 01

  It's gone. So many of us are scared to start or do or try because we don't want to lose this thing, whatever that might be. But it was gone. And that's where the magic started. That was where the magic happened because the space was cleared.

• 3:14Jamie Kern Lima?

  This is big. This is so big. So few people get this. This is like one of the biggest keys to success, in my opinion. It's one of the biggest keys to success, one of the biggest keys to finding your purpose, one of the biggest keys to fulfillment. Like jumping out of my chair because I knew how inspiring this would be. And I'm just thinking about every person listening or watching this right now who's having a big aha moment.

• 3:35Speaker 01

  I heard a voice in my head. I don't know whose voice it was. I heard a voice clear as day and it said... Like I have chills thinking about it. All these years later, enter Tinder. Enter another traumatic situation. These patterns that we're all in, we're all in patterns until we break them. And my pattern was broken when I laid on that ground, literally on the bath mat after Tinder. And I said, "Oh, my God. Oh, my God, this is it." I am going to horse crack this whole thing. I'm going to create a positive social network. I'm going to harness technology for good.

• 4:18Speaker 01

  And I'm going to take what almost killed me. And I'm going to make us stronger. And that was the moment. Inspiration and mentors matter. Like seeing things that inspire us matter. Get inspired. Watch the show with everybody you bring on. Like, you know, read about people that have defeated their own odds. And that energy does kind of impart on us. And we can do it, too.

• 4:45Jamie Kern Lima?

  Whitney Wolfherd is the founder and CEO of Bumble, an online dating, friendship, business, networking, mentoring, community and connection platform, launched in 2014. She's also a co-founder of Tinder and has been named to just about every big success list you can imagine. From Forbes America's Richest Self-Made Women's List to the Time 100 list. She's graced the covers of countless magazines, including Fast Company, Wired and Forbes. In February 2021, she became the world's youngest female billionaire when she took Bumble public and was the youngest to have taken a company public in the US at age 31.

• 5:30Jamie Kern Lima?

  She is also a profoundly deep, interesting and incredibly brilliant woman. She's a wife and mama to two beautiful little boys, Bobby and Henry, who I am convinced are future Olympic athletes. And she's also my dear friend. I am so excited to have you here. Whether you're listening for yourself or because someone that you love shared this episode with you, I want to welcome you to the Jamie Kern Lima Show Podcast family. Remember, this episode is not just for you and me. Please share it with every single woman that you know, because it can change her life, too.

• 6:07Speaker 02

  Jamie Kern Lima is her name.

• 6:09Speaker 03

  Everybody needs Jamie Kern Lima in their life.

• 6:11Speaker 04

  Jamie Kern Lima.

• 6:16Speaker 04

  Jamie, you're so inspiring. Jamie Kern Lima.

• 6:21Jamie Kern Lima?

  Whitney Wolfe Herd, welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima Show.

• 6:24Speaker 01

  That's so sweet of you. Thank you. I'm so happy to be here. Thank you for having me. What an honor. I just absolutely adore you and there's nothing better than connecting with a true friend.

• 6:35Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 6:35Speaker 01

  Over some coffee and a microphone.

• 6:37Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes, yes. Well, I'm just, I'm honored you're here and you are someone who, it's funny, before we just started this interview, you're like, nothing's off. Like, we just go for it. We're just, have you always been a person? Because so many women especially are scared to be authentic and to just speak their truth. They're afraid, you know, maybe they'll be judged or rejected or not loved or not accepted. And so they sort of like, you know, dim their own light. Have you always been this way? And how have, how, how have you gotten to this place?

• 7:12Jamie Kern Lima?

  You know, how do you speak your truth?

• 7:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:14Jamie Kern Lima?

  And just fully say, this is who I am, with full transparency and confidence?

• 7:21Speaker 01

  Well, first of all, that's such a compliment and I would say the exact same thing about you. I think we are all inherently deeply authentic people. But then we choose to, for whatever reason, at various parts in our journeys or throughout our lives, we choose to put on a mask. And the mask is generally there to what we believe protect us or to shield us or to save us from someone judging us or not wanting us or accepting us or disapproving of us. And what I've really come to realize is like, we were all born deeply authentic. We are also our authentic selves.

• 8:03Speaker 01

  And then slowly, somewhere along the way, we convince ourselves that we should blend in or be a part of the crowd or change who we are. And I just had this.

• 8:16Speaker 01

  I don't know if it's realization or whatever, download, however you want to call it. But I realized after I left Tinder that there were so many times that I was not authentic to myself when I was there. And I just promised myself after that whole ordeal that I'm not always going to be the best and I'm not always going to win and I'm not always going to be loved and I'm not always going to be liked and I won't be accepted and I won't be invited. But the one thing no one can take away from me is that the end of the day, I'm always going to be me. Whatever that means.

• 8:54Speaker 01

  And so I think it's a commitment to ourselves to fall back in love with that authentic version of who we are and try to honor that and live with that. And so that's kind of where I'm at now and I just try to be me. I don't even know what that means and it's not for everyone and that's okay.

• 9:14Jamie Kern Lima?

  And the stuff of if someone doesn't get it or doesn't approve or this or that, you're over that. Like you're not, you're like, that's not worth worrying about. The feeling of who I truly am is where your power is.

• 9:27Speaker 01

  Yes, I, I'm not going to pretend and say, oh, I don't care what people think or that didn't hurt my feelings or so and so didn't invite me or so and so doesn't like me and who cares? No, I mean, we're all, even when we are our highest selves, we are all having a very earthly experience here in these bodies that we have. And with that comes all of those feelings that we all possess. And so I think the way I deal with that is I don't shame myself for having hurt feelings or for caring what someone did or didn't think about me. I just kind of look at it and I stare at it and say, okay, that's okay.

• 10:12Speaker 01

  That's like a wounded part of you that, that is feeling that way and we'll live with it. We'll, we'll, we'll accept all these pieces. And so that way it doesn't take over your life. And there were years of my life that all I cared about was what people thought about me. At, at any cost. I did not want someone to dislike me. It was my worst fear. And then you're kind of like, this is a full-time job and what I'm not getting paid for. So, you know, why am I doing this? It's draining my accounts.

• 10:42Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 10:43Speaker 01

  Physically, spiritually, mentally. You know, the metaphor of just like being completely bankrupt.

• 10:49Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 10:50Speaker 01

  But emotionally, and I'll share one thing. So fascinating, and because you led with this. It's not something I ever really think about because I don't. I've come to realize that self-worth does not equal net worth. And I'm a very privileged person who's had the opportunity to learn that. But I will tell you that on paper, at my, on paper wealthiest, according to society's standards. I was spiritually the poorest I've ever been. And I think that's really important for people to know. It's like, that's not where you get your worth.

• 11:26Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah. And what an incredible gift you've gotten to see all sides. So you can say that and know that for sure. Because so many people are like, oh, when I get that thing, then I'm going to feel enough. When I get that big job, when I get that number in my bank account, when I get the relationship, when I get the car, when I get the six-pack abs, then I'm going to feel enough. And you've gotten a whole lot of things. And that's really not surprising to me because I've had very similar experiences. But it's not what we learned. We learned, oh, you know, you, because, because Whitney, oh, my gosh. And I want to actually dive into something you just said. I was going to bring this up way later in the interview.

• 12:08Jamie Kern Lima?

  But you're just going there right away. And I love this so much because there are so many people struggle with people pleasing and with thinking like, and with feeling imposter syndrome or thinking, I don't have what it takes or thinking that, you know, if I'm the real me, I won't be loved. And like you just said, it is a full-time job. It's exhausting and.

• 12:33Jamie Kern Lima?

  With everything that you have and continue to build with Bumble, congratulations on being back as CEO again. Thank you. But with everything that you continue to build there, the millions and millions and millions of people that have new relationships in their life because of Bumble, whether they're romantic relationships, or they go on there to meet friends, or they go on there to meet a mentor. Because so many people, that's probably one of the biggest questions I get asked every day is, will you mentor me and how do I find a mentor? And it's the biggest thing. And so, so genius to have Bumble Biz,

• 13:12Jamie Kern Lima?

  which is like mentorship and networking, jobs, new jobs, new careers, all of it. You have built so much with Bumble and you continue to. And I think that on the outside, everyone can see, wow. I mean, they just heard the introduction, which they probably already know a lot of this about you. But if they don't know, they're like, oh, wow. So Whitney Wolfherd, you know, one of the most inspiring, iconic visionary women and businesswomen in the country. And I think that what you shared so courageously already is that I think people will be surprised to know is your journey has not been easy.

• 13:57Jamie Kern Lima?

  It has not been a straight road. Things just didn't fall into your lap. You didn't just wake up and start with the idea for Bumble and it all just happened. You've had a journey. And there are a lot of people that are sharing this

• 14:14Jamie Kern Lima?

  energy with you and I right now that maybe have had setbacks or hard times, or things not go their way, or a boss that does not like them and they feel like if I do anything, I'm going to be ousted even more. Or someone who just, a relative. It could be any number of things. And it's easy for us as humans to say, okay, well.

• 14:38Jamie Kern Lima?

  My past is going to define my future. If all of these people kicked me out, or this didn't go my way, or my business failed, or this happened, or that, the press or online social media is writing something bad about me, it's easy for us to think my ship has sailed. Like, how can I ever recover from this? And there are so many people that are holding on to shame from things that have happened and letting it almost define their identity. And I am so excited that you already opened us up to this because this is going to change so many lives. When you, long before Whitney founded Bumble, not that long before, but before Whitney founded Bumble, you were co-founder at Tinder. At Tinder.

• 15:22Jamie Kern Lima?

  And can you share how the journey there wasn't what you expected?

• 15:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I, just to touch on a bit of what you just said. I think if I could, and I'm still on my journey. So I feel like I can say this with a sense of we're in this together to whoever is watching or listening because I don't think I've arrived at my final destination. Certainly, I hope not. I'm 35, so I hope that there's, you know, still a lot ahead. I will say the following.

• 15:57Jamie Kern Lima?

  There's so much more coming up in this episode. You are not going to want to miss it. But first, I wanted to share this with you. In life, you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self-worth. When you build your self-worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book, Worthy: How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life for You. If you have some self-doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, Worthy is for you. In Worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life-changing results,

• 16:39Jamie Kern Lima?

  like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self-love, unlearn the lies that lead to self-doubt, and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness, overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome, achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them, and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self doubt and unshakable self-worth. Get your copy of Worthy, plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you at worthybook.com

• 17:23Jamie Kern Lima?

  or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you'd do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with Worthy. Imagine, what would you do if you fully believed in you? My weekly free inspirational newsletter is packed with tips and tools to help you find out. It's called One on One with Jamie and it's delivered right to your inbox each Tuesday morning. It's a love letter from me to you, from my soul to yours. And I hope it brings you the words and messages you need at just the right moment.

• 18:07Jamie Kern Lima?

  Plus, when you're a part of my free inspirational newsletter community, you'll be the first to get behind the scenes content, inspirational messages, and be the first to learn about upcoming events and more. It's the place to be and I sure hope you'll join me there. So if you're not on the list yet, you can sign up for free at jamiecurrenlema.com or click the link in the show notes below. And here's to becoming unstoppable together. And now more of this incredible conversation together. Can you share how the journey there wasn't what you expected?

• 18:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I, just to touch on a bit of what you just said, I think if I could,

• 18:53Speaker 01

  and I'm still on my journey, so I feel like I can say this with a sense of we're in this together to whoever is watching or listening, because I don't think I've arrived at my final destination. Certainly I hope not, I'm 35, so I hope that there's, you know, still a lot ahead. I will say the following.

• 19:14Speaker 01

  If I sat down and I put the 10 worst days of my life on a piece of paper, and I reflected on those days from where I am today,

• 19:29Speaker 01

  it doesn't take away from the pain of those days. It doesn't take away from how hard they were. But the reframing I'm able to have now is without those days, without them, I wouldn't be here. So technically, the worst days, it's hard to call them the best days because that's not factual. They were critical days. They were necessary. The hard parts were the good parts. Because without the hard parts, you don't really get to that next stepping stone. And so I really believe whoever you are listening, whoever is going through setbacks,

• 20:13Speaker 01

  and they feel like they're just getting punched, you know, time and time again by life, work, relationships, rejections. It's because these are happening for a reason. And so I think we all fight rejection. We all fight it. Why did this happen to us? I didn't want that to happen. But I think if we actually get into the flow of it and say, okay, let's look at the bigger picture. Why is this all happening? There is a bigger arc here. There's a bigger path here. And so the reason why I say that is if I go back and I reflect on my time at Tinder, I had a choice when I left. I could have spent all of my time feeling disappointed

• 20:56Speaker 01

  and sad and devastated about what had transpired at the company.

• 21:02Speaker 01

  Or I could have said, I'm going to learn from this. And I'm going to take what almost killed me and make us stronger. And I think this is very important framing because we all walk around saying, what didn't kill me made me stronger. And I think the way I look at life is what did almost kill me can make all of us stronger.

• 21:28Jamie Kern Lima?

  I have full body chills right now.

• 21:29Speaker 01

  But that's the case.

• 21:30Jamie Kern Lima?

  Finding purpose.

• 21:31Speaker 01

  This is it.

• 21:32Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 21:33Speaker 01

  Yeah. And you've been there.

• 21:34Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah. Well, you share, Whitney, in your own words, because I think that's important. Just for everyone listening, what happened at Tinder that you're talking about that became such a hard time. And then I want to ask you the phase you went in after, because I think so many people have been in that spot. And I'm talking about the same outfit and Uggs for a month and not leaving the house.

• 21:59Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 21:59Jamie Kern Lima?

  So, yeah.

• 22:00Speaker 01

  That's right. So, you know, I really, and people have a hard time believing this. I can't tell you how many times I meet someone and they're like, oh, you built Bumble as a revenge story. Wow, you had a chip on your shoulder and you really got, you really got them. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. If I had for one second, one, and I want to be very clear and everyone should remember this. If I had for one second been operating with the intention or the energy of vendetta, revenge,

• 22:34Speaker 01

  or a chip on my shoulder, I would not be in this seat today with you right now.

• 22:38Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 22:39Speaker 01

  Revenge is not a plot for success. It's not. And it is, there are a thousand famous, you know, philosophical quotes attributed to what revenge really is. You know, some of the famous ones are, you know, revenge is, you know, drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. There's a thousand of these. I have never once, Jamie, had an inner intention, wish, desire, or energy towards seeking revenge. When I was at Tinder, all I wanted was to see this product that was helping people connect succeed.

• 23:20Speaker 01

  And I had differing opinions than the leadership that I was building the company with. And, you know, I don't talk about these people because candidly, I'm of the mindset that, you know, love and light. I genuinely, when I think back on anyone involved, instead of getting angry, or upset, or stressed, I close my eyes and I literally cover them in bright light. And I say, I wish them love and light on their journey. Genuinely, that is it. And I carry on. And so even though I was, you know, I was 22 when we started Tinder. I was 24 when I left.

• 24:03Speaker 01

  The way I left was very dramatic. I really don't rehash it. If anyone wants to Google it, they're more than welcome to. It's not that exciting. It's so old news. But it was a very contentious exit. And it led to a very, very public lawsuit. Very public. I never had the intention, or wish, or want to be involved in a lawsuit to begin with. And nor did I ever want it to be public. So here I was, 24 years old. And I'll never forget, I woke up at maybe 3:00 in the morning, the night the lawsuit had been filed. And when you file a lawsuit, it's very public. And, you know, it gets picked up.

• 24:47Speaker 01

  But I never could have expected it going global, or front page of this, or that. And I woke up and I think I had, you know, a billion, not actually, but you know, just countless notifications. And I was headline after headline after headline after headline after headline. And I just watched my, like, life leave my body. In terms of like, okay, the narrative is now no longer the truth. It is whatever the internet has turned it into. And what's scary about something like that happening when you're 24 years old and your entire life is wrapped up in this company you helped create, they can take it from you. They, meaning the collective, the narrative, the fodder, the chatter,

• 25:32Speaker 01

  the collective kind of opinion. They can rob you blind of your identity, and of your dignity, and of your happiness. And so the internet attacked me. This was before Me Too. This was before Time's Up, this whole narrative of, you know, women's equality at work. And I just watched myself get decimated on the internet, and turned into... This scorned woman. And just like that, at 24, it was all over. So, yeah, I retreated to Uggs and staying inside and hiding. And I was very fortunate to have my now husband as my boyfriend at the time. God bless him.

• 26:16Speaker 01

  But I didn't, I didn't have anything. I, everything had been stripped. They, you know, my, my title had been stripped from me and my contributions were questioned extensively in the media. So, all of that was gone. My financial gain in the company was being fought over through this lawsuit. And my friends were gone. I was turned on and I had nothing. But it's one of the best things that ever happened to me. Because when you have your dignity, perceived dignity, your perceived self-worth taken

• 26:58Speaker 01

  from you, this kind of magical thing happens where you realize you've nothing left to fear. It's gone. Your worst nightmare is playing out in real life. What else is there left to give? And so many of us are scared to start or do or try because we don't want to lose this thing, whatever that might be. But it was gone. And that's where the magic started. That was where the magic happened because the space was cleared.

• 27:32Jamie Kern Lima?

  How long before it happened and you got to the point where you knew that? Because I know, you know, and nowadays, unfortunately, every, you know, person is just about every person's online. You know, people that used to be private before, now maybe they're a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher, and their profile's online and everything's just online. And so, so many people now, I think, can relate in whether it's in their community or their network or, you know, whatever it might be, to, to just narratives online that may or may not be true. And, you know, you, I know, went through

• 28:12Jamie Kern Lima?

  So much online hate from everything from death threats to rape threats to the most horrific stuff. And how long did that go on? And how did it impact you before you're like, you know, before you realized

• 28:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:29Jamie Kern Lima?

  That you were going to turn it into something for the greater collective?

• 28:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:35Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 28:36Speaker 01

  I would say that it, so if I, if my memory serves me well, I believe the lawsuit was public by the end of June 2014. I had left the company in April of 2014. Some of the darkest months were April to June. Dark, dark, dark, dark, hard, horrible, heavy, lonely. Everything was gone. And, and then the lawsuit launched and I'll never forget, I turned 25 years old about a week later. And here I was, 25, 25. Let's really think about that for a second. 25 is like the edge of becoming a real adult.

• 29:18Jamie Kern Lima?

  Mm hmm.

• 29:19Speaker 01

  But you're still so young.

• 29:20Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes.

• 29:21Speaker 01

  And you're still so full of life and you're still so allowed to be flawed. 25 year olds are allowed to be 25.

• 29:33Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes.

• 29:34Speaker 01

  They're allowed to go to the bar and have a couple too many drinks. They're allowed to get fired and sleep on their parents' couch for a few months. They are allowed to be 25.

• 29:43Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 29:44Speaker 01

  That was taken from me. And I was not allowed to be 25. I all of a sudden needed to be a very, very strong warrior. And I basically had to exist in two realities. One reality was warrior, go forward, get in the arena, go for it, be brave, be bold, be courageous, even though you're scared to death, just be courageous. And it's a very famous quote, but courage actually can't exist with the absence of fear. You have to be scared to be courageous. That's what courage means. So I just had to be courageous, but at the same time, I was completely devastated and traumatized, deeply traumatized.

• 30:29Speaker 01

  So what's fascinating, Jamie, is I started Bumble. We had Bumble live in the App Store by December 1st of 2014.

• 30:39Speaker 01

  So if you think through that, I left in April of 2014. The lawsuit went live at the end of June and Bumble was alive in the public by December 1st. So I had to exist in two realities, one of of pain and wound. It was like running a marathon with, you know, a sprained ankle, whatever the metaphor of that is. And I'm not trying to be insensitive to anyone that's actually had to run a marathon in worse circumstances, but whatever that vision is that you can think of, like, you have to just go, you gotta keep going, like, you don't have time to stop. And so it was this kind of blessing and curse at the same time where I, I had to just keep

• 31:24Speaker 01

  going. And I think so many people around the world, regardless of their circumstances, which have been much worse than mine, you just have to go in forward motion. You just have to go in forward motion. It's the only option we have.

• 31:37Jamie Kern Lima?

  Mm hmm. You know, I want to just call something out, you Sher, that I think is so powerful because I don't want anyone to miss it, anyone to miss it. Because the humanness of some people, you know, when something horrific happens to them or they get a setback or they, or somebody wrongs them, or someone excludes them, or someone rejects, you know, rejects them, is to be like, I want revenge on that person. And what I know, what I believe for sure in my life is like, we meet the vibration of the thing for it to happen, right? So, so when you're sharing, you know, that you are taking the thing that happened to you and instead of feeling revenge or this or that, you're like, oh, how can I actually make this better for everyone else?

• 32:18Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 32:19Jamie Kern Lima?

  Right? And, and, and that intention of how can I do something greater than myself? And that intention, in my opinion, is, is then you meet the vibration of that. And of course, Bumble's a huge success. You know what I mean? But it's like, and this is a big lesson because, I mean, I have friends, I have family that they don't know how to do anything, especially family, some family. I have five families, long story, but through adoption and everything else. But I have so many family members. They don't know how to do anything else other than be in that place of, you know, wanting revenge or wanting, you know, this or that, or it's not fair, or, you know, all the things and, and, and I think it's just so key to go, okay, yes,

• 33:04Jamie Kern Lima?

  that happened, yes, that hurt me really bad, yes, for so many people that thing didn't feel fair, or, you know, all of that. And then also, you know, we have control. Eventually, of course, after we process everything of like, and what do I do with this?

• 33:21Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 33:22Jamie Kern Lima?

  You know, and, and your distinction of just,

• 33:27Jamie Kern Lima?

  you know, that it can make you stronger versus, oh, it can make us stronger. You guys, I just want to call this out. This is big. This is so big. So few people get this. This is like one of the biggest keys to success, in my opinion. So the biggest keys to success, one of the biggest keys to finding your purpose, one of the biggest keys to fulfillment, right, is not, is, is to take the thing and, and, and not just say like, you know, what is this here to, to teach me, or what is the, what am I supposed to learn from, but like, oh, wait, what is this here to teach us? Like, what am I supposed, how is this going to help us? And, and that distinction is so big.

• 34:06Jamie Kern Lima?

  And I feel like also, it is not easy building any company. So even though Bumble is a massive success, it cosmetics was a massive success. I can tell you, there is no chance it cosmetics would have made it if I was not thinking about, how is this helping others? How is this helping something greater than myself? Because it was too freaking hard.

• 34:27Speaker 01

  That is it.

• 34:28Jamie Kern Lima?

  Too many setbacks and too many hard times and too many long hours for me to stay in it if it was just helping me. I would have been like, peace out.

• 34:36Speaker 01

  That is so right.

• 34:37Jamie Kern Lima?

  Right, and this is big.

• 34:38Speaker 01

  It's moving the mindset from me to we.

• 34:42Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 34:42Speaker 01

  That's it.

• 34:43Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 34:43Speaker 01

  And candidly, That was what drove me every day, just like it drove you every day.

• 34:48Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 34:49Speaker 01

  You got up there and you weren't selling a solution for yourself necessarily. You're like, "Oh, I am affected by this and I did use my personal situation to create a solution."

• 35:02Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 35:03Speaker 01

  But you didn't do it for you.

• 35:04Jamie Kern Lima?

  Right. And I was also like-

• 35:05Speaker 01

  Did it for everybody else.

• 35:07Jamie Kern Lima?

  I was so tired of seeing images that didn't look like me, like all the things and everyone had flawless Photoshop skin. And growing up, it always made me feel like I wasn't enough. And it was like, "Oh, wait, how do we change that narrative in beauty?" Like, it was like, "How do we..." Yeah, it was bigger. And I think, I want to just call that out because one thing you say, you know, Bumble, right? I think so many people love Bumble because it helps them with connection in their life, whether, again, it's through meeting friends on Friends with Bumble or in business with mentors and everything else, or in romantic relationships. And so, but you say, and I think this is big because there's a lot of people sitting here right now

• 35:48Jamie Kern Lima?

  that know they've had hard times, know they've had setbacks, but haven't yet, like, actually considered, "Wait a minute, how does that thing help us?"

• 35:57Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 35:57Jamie Kern Lima?

  Collectively. And you say that you can't have connection, truly understand connection, without having felt this connection.

• 36:06Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 36:06Jamie Kern Lima?

  And, you know, two things I want to ask you about. I have so much, oh my gosh. Whitney, I already know, I'm already fired up. I'm like jumping out of my chair because I knew how inspiring this would be. And I'm just thinking about every person listening or watching this right now who's having a big aha moment with their own journey, with their own journey, because it's so easy to stay in our setbacks and not realize, "Oh, wait, they're setups for what we're called to do next."

• 36:32Speaker 01

  They're setups.

• 36:32Jamie Kern Lima?

  Right? And you have said-

• 36:36Jamie Kern Lima?

  You have said that some of the things that have fueled you into your sort of collective vision for the offerings you're putting in the world right now, but I want to tell everyone this really quick, it wasn't just instantly Tinder to Bumble, right?

• 36:49Speaker 01

  No.

• 36:49Jamie Kern Lima?

  It was, it was the idea of Merci, which is like a compliment platform. It was this idea of how can you, you know, collectively, right? Turn everything you've been through into this offering that raises the vibration for everybody. But you've said that to really understand connection, the way that you have turned it into an offering for the world, you also had to understand disconnection.

• 37:13Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 37:13Jamie Kern Lima?

  And you've also talked about that a lot of your passion for creating Bumble and for all the work that you do, part of it has come from unhealthy relationships, abusive relationships in your past. And I want to ask you about it again, as another, what I hope, story and, and, and tool for people that they can lean on.

• 37:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:42Jamie Kern Lima?

  If they've have a shared experience or if they're like, huh, having some ahas today about, about just how they can transform everything they've been, been through.

• 37:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:52Jamie Kern Lima?

  Into something that becomes such a beautiful purpose. But you've had, I mean, since the age of seven, like, I know you talk about 17, when you were 17. Can you just touch on that for a moment? The relationship you were in?

• 38:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:08Jamie Kern Lima?

  Who you were in that time? And how did that, how did that? Cause when you talk about the 10 worst days of your life, how did that time lead to this time?

• 38:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, I, I think we'll start there. So when I was 15 years old, I

• 38:27Speaker 01

  Got my very first boyfriend, very young. I was young for my grades. So while I was 15, everybody else was 16. And he was older. He was 16 or 17, maybe a grade above. I can't remember at this point. And it was, wow, it was definitely the hardest thing I've ever gone through in my life, even to today, like even with all the struggles because of how vulnerable I was. You know, I've been through technically worse things at an older age, but I was more equipped to deal with those things. Right? When you are 16 years old, 15 years old, 17 years old, and it is a first on every level. Oh, man, it'll take

• 39:11Speaker 01

  you to your studs. And he was horribly emotionally abusive to me. When I reflect back on it, I'm like, oh, yeah, I didn't think I was gonna be able to survive high school. Genuinely, like, that was my, I'll never forget sitting with my teacher, one of my teachers, which was like my only real, one of my only real outlets. She was this amazing teacher. I won't name names. She knows who she is. I reached out to her. She was at my high school. And I would sit with her during lunch in the classroom. And she was like my safe space. And she would help me. But I was trapped. I didn't know how to get out. And

• 39:53Speaker 01

  man, I don't really know how that even unfolded because I have children now. And I'm like, how does a child get into that situation? But you know, it's silent. It's a silent, it is a silent killer. Abuse of relationships can be very silent killers. And what's scary is the amount of people that have been through it. And you don't know it. They've never talked about it. Maybe they haven't even admitted it entirely. Or how many of us have watched someone we love at the hands of this, this, this disgusting, horrible.

• 40:28Speaker 01

  Opposite of love, right? And I will never forget, Jamie, I swear, I swear on whatever God I define as what I believe in. I will never forget, I was seventeen years old and the relationship was ending and I thought I was dying. I thought I was dying. I literally thought I was dying and I was on a flight home, back, back home to Salt Lake City. And I was in the most pain physically, mentally. I didn't even know what spirituality was, so whatever that was at the time. And I heard a voice in my head. I don't know whose voice it was. And I'm a sane person, so this was not like a, you know, a mental illness of any kind. I heard a voice clear as day and it said,

• 41:10Jamie Kern Lima?

  There is so much more coming up in this episode. You are not going to want to miss it. But first I wanted to share this with you. In life, you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self-worth. When you build your self-worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book, Worthy, How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life for You. If you have some self-doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, Worthy is for you. In Worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life-changing results,

• 41:53Jamie Kern Lima?

  like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self-love, unlearn the lies that lead to self-doubt, and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness, overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome, achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them, and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self-doubt and unshakable self-worth. Get your copy of Worthy, plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you at worthybook.com

• 42:37Jamie Kern Lima?

  or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you'd do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with Worthy.

• 42:50Jamie Kern Lima?

  Imagine, what would you do if you fully believed in you? My weekly free inspirational newsletter is packed with tips and tools to help you find out. It's called One on One with Jamie and it's delivered right to your inbox each Tuesday morning. It's a love letter from me to you, from my soul to yours, and I hope it brings you the words and messages you need at just the right moment. Plus, when you're a part of my free inspirational newsletter community, you'll be the first to get behind the scenes content, inspirational messages, and be the first to learn about upcoming events and

• 43:32Jamie Kern Lima?

  more. It's the place to be, and I sure hope you'll join me there. So if you're not on the list yet, you can sign up for free at jamiekernlima.com or click the link in the show notes below. And here's to becoming unstoppable together. And now, more of this incredible conversation together.

• 43:53Speaker 01

  I will never forget, I was 17 years old and the relationship was ending and I thought I was dying. I thought I was dying. I literally thought I was dying and I was on a flight home, back, back home to Salt Lake City. And I was in the most pain physically, mentally. I didn't even know what spirituality was, so whatever that was at the time. And I heard a voice in my head. I don't know whose voice it was. And I'm a sane person, so this was not like a, you know, a mental illness of any kind. I heard a voice, clear as day, and it said, "This will be your life's purpose. You will prevent 17-year-old women from this pain." Like, it was a clear as day voice, and it basically said, "This will all make

• 44:38Speaker 01

  sense one day." Like, I have chills thinking about it. And it basically said, like, "You are going to go on a crusade to help other women in these relationships." And I didn't know what it meant. I was 17 years old. I thought I was going crazy. I thought I was literally going crazy. But I remember it so vividly. I'll never forget it as long as I live. And all these years later, all these years later, enter Tinder. Enter another traumatic situation. These patterns that we're all in, we're all in patterns until we break them. And my pattern was broken when I laid on that ground, literally on the bath mat after Tinder.

• 45:21Speaker 01

  And I said, oh, my God, oh, my God, this is it. I am going to course crack this whole thing. I'm going to create a positive social network. I'm going to harness technology for good. I'm going to help the 13, 15, 17 year old girl. Who is in a toxic relationship, is getting abused on the internet, is being treated the way I've just experienced directly. And I'm going to take what almost killed me. And I'm going to make us stronger. And that was the moment. And that was what? The intention, which I want to really emphasize this. Life is about two things. Intention and attention. The intention we set.

• 46:07Speaker 01

  As your beautiful, magical friend Oprah will say, is the foundation of everything. But it can't stop there. You know, you have to give it extreme attention and focus and persistence and care and water it all day long. Nurture it all day long. Or that intention can't grow, it can't thrive. But I can tell you, the intention behind Bumble is pure. It is good. It's never about revenge. It's never about vendetta. Never, not once. And I can live and die by that. And that's the difference between.

• 46:45Speaker 01

  Something taking on a beautiful life of its own and something being a force for evil in the world.

• 46:52Jamie Kern Lima?

  That voice that came to you clear as day that you heard.

• 46:57Jamie Kern Lima?

  And now at 35, what do you think that voice was? Who do you think that was?

• 47:02Speaker 01

  It's my higher self. It's my higher self. And we all have it. It's all in us.

• 47:09Speaker 01

  We just build walls around it. And they're soundproof.

• 47:14Speaker 01

  You can't hear it, you can't feel it. You can kind of feel it. It kicks and screams at the wall and you can get that like feeling in your tummy and you're like, oh, what was that? You know, that's your, that's your higher self talking to you through your, through your belly, through your heart. But we drowned it out.

• 47:29Jamie Kern Lima?

  Did it sound like a man or a woman or indescribable?

• 47:33Speaker 01

  You know, what's so interesting? It had male energy, but it wasn't, I, I don't know if I would say, oh, that was a man's voice. But I can't also say like, oh, that was like my grandma. I, I can't attribute it to like a person.

• 47:48Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 47:48Speaker 01

  It almost felt like a higher calling, like a spiritual, a spiritual message. Now upon reflection, at the time, if you told me that was a spiritual message, I'd be like, okay. You know, I had such a disdain for spirituality growing up because I didn't recognize the distinction between spirituality and religion. And I'd been, been brought up in a very strange religious dynamic. I had a Jewish family raising me on my dad's side of the family. I had a Catholic family raising me on my mom's side of the family. And then I was in a very, very strict Mormon community. If you had a Coke, you were going to hell.

• 48:32Jamie Kern Lima?

  In Yata.

• 48:32Speaker 01

  Oh, you're going to hell, like burning fire hell. And if you didn't have a Coke, like you'd probably meet the gates of heaven. But then in Judaism and Catholicism, like these were different constructs. And so I kind of always was like, this all feels like a, this all feels like it's saying different things. But I think the meaning of all of this is like trust and love, right? Isn't the center of it?

• 48:57Jamie Kern Lima?

  Did you believe in a God or a higher power at that point at 17? Or did you believe there wasn't one and then that, and then you heard that voice?

• 49:07Speaker 01

  I think I did not believe there was one, but I will say, like you, I don't know how it was for you as a child. I was born very intuitive.

• 49:18Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 49:19Speaker 01

  I have gotten what I call downloads or premonitions my whole life. My whole life. I mean, I have spoken to family members like, oh, you said this thing when you were seven and then it happened the next day. Like, it's just part of who I am. And I think we all are capable of it. It's just how far open have we allowed ourselves to be. But I think my abilities had outpaced my belief, right? Like, I was operating beyond what I believed was possible, and so I just shut it down. I was like, that's not possible. That's crazy. But no, I think there were moments along the way that started to open me up. And now I would consider myself, I would say spirituality

• 49:57Speaker 01

  is one of my number one core life priorities. And when it's nurtured, I'm in an alignment. And when it's not, like, when that spiritual plug comes out of the wall, I'm like, oh, whoa, where are we? I'm off kilter. So I've got to stay plugged in. And that has to, you know, you got to keep that electric cord plugged in. And meditation, nature, genuine connection, those are the recipes for that, in my opinion.

• 50:26Jamie Kern Lima?

  You know, two things on that. I just had a family member, I won't say who, who has not believed in a higher power. And she just had the most profound experience, like, to her shock.

• 50:37Speaker 01

  What happened?

• 50:38Jamie Kern Lima?

  Where she oddly, she felt like she heard God talking to her. And she is just kind of shook over it. She tried to tell other family members who also don't believe. And I think they just kind of like, oh, okay.

• 50:49Speaker 01

  What did she hear?

• 50:51Jamie Kern Lima?

  What was it? It was something about something going on in her personal life. And it was just very clear. She's never believed. And I won't say her age, or people will figure it out. She has never believed her whole life. And she's now absolutely certain that it was God talking to her. And, and she's around people that don't believe. So it's a real interesting spot for her to be in.

• 51:10Speaker 01

  It's profound.

• 51:11Jamie Kern Lima?

  But I am not surprised that happened to you at 17. When you, meaning that you heard, like, you had a download like that, when you and I, one of our, one of our conversations we've had.

• 51:25Jamie Kern Lima?

  Earlier in our friendship, I will never forget just like listening to you talk. And you were saying, you were saying a lot of things about me in this conversation. And I'm like, oh, wow, like you have, I feel like you're so deeply connected.

• 51:42Jamie Kern Lima?

  Energetically, intuitively, spiritually, and you have this gift of seeing people. You have a gift of seeing people. And I remember just being so inspired by that and also feeling so connected to you very fast, which is not normal for me because I felt like, oh, wow, this is a whole other situation of vibration. I was just like, you know, and it was really, so hearing that this, that you've, you know, kind of gotten downloads and been tuned in even before you knew what it was your whole life. Not surprised at all by that. And I think, you know, seeing everything with Bumble, I know, I want to just touch on this really quick

• 52:22Jamie Kern Lima?

  because there's going to be people that, you know, had an idea and they went for it and it didn't work. Or they, you know, oh, my gosh, with a cosmetics, especially right before there were so many different things. I tried and didn't work and no one, you know, all the things. And it doesn't mean they weren't great ideas and it doesn't mean that, you know, the next thing you go for isn't going to happen. But there's so many people that have sent their book out to 25 publishers. They've all said no, does not mean the 26th one is not going to say yes. And can you just touch briefly upon, you know, this idea of, you know, how can you use everything that you've gone through from your teenage years, through your time at Tinder, through coming out of all that, having that huge realization

• 53:03Jamie Kern Lima?

  on the floor of how you're going to use it all for us collectively. It wasn't just the first idea that happened with Bumble, right? You, you had this other idea with Mercy and I just want you to touch on it so that people, because so many people listening and watching, they're only ever even going to know about Bumble, right? And think, oh, wow, Whitney had an idea. It was easy. She, it just instantly happened. But you've had many amazing ideas and I think Mercy was very cool. And I know, I know there was Moxie, there's other, other things. But can you share a little bit about that?

• 53:40Speaker 01

  Well, I think you've said it perfect. It's like the 27th person might respond, right? And this is so, so, the symbolism of your story is like, had you given up?

• 53:52Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 53:53Speaker 01

  On the a thousandth time, right before that final yes, like if you had accepted the no, we wouldn't be here today. But there's a distinction here that I think is important for people. I always ask people, what's the why? Like, why are you doing it? Like, what's, what is the bigger? What can this do for people? Like, what is this solving? What are you solving for? And I think where a lot of people should ask themselves and get self-reflective. And they have businesses. Maybe it's not going the right way. I think I would encourage people to say, who is this serving? Who is this helping? Because I really do believe that every great innovation,

• 54:38Speaker 01

  every great business, every great, you know, breakthrough in medicine or in science. It's not driven out of randomness. Most of it is driven out of some type of heartbreak or deep dissatisfaction. Someone knew somebody that tragically got sick with a rare disease and it destroyed their lives. And it spurred them to go and, you know, find a cure. And while they lost the person in their lives, which is devastating, maybe there's millions of people around the world in current day and in the future that will be spared because of that.

• 55:22Speaker 01

  And so I think intention, coming back to intention, like, why are you doing what you're doing? And I fundamentally believe that the right intention will give you energy. It won't take it from you. So even though you're drained and even though that you're exhausted by the nose, like, you've got it in you to just go that one more step. It's the perseverance, right? It's having the purpose beyond me or I or just my own needs. And you're a perfect example of this. So I think my big push to anybody that feels like they're in setback and setback, if they can say with sincerity,

• 56:02Speaker 01

  That what they're doing is serving the greater good of humanity. Whether it's even only, you know, only 10 people a year are predicted to get this disease. That is still important. Someone is still going to suffer without what you're doing, without the thing you're doing. You've got to keep going. But if you're doing it because you wanted to start a business and you wanted to make money, wrong. Stop. Reset. Why are you doing what you're doing? And that is my belief. Like, there is no such thing worth fighting for that only serves ourselves. That's my firm belief.

• 56:40Jamie Kern Lima?

  Hmm, so good. I, I feel so strongly exactly what you just said. And I feel like our body tells us too, like if it's in alignment with what we're supposed to be doing. And it's been an interesting journey having this show and this podcast because there have been some incredibly fascinating people that have come on. And one thing I've learned is when someone comes on and they share something with the, the pure intention to get a bunch of press or get headlines, which is fine, there's nothing wrong with that. But if the underlying intention isn't to add value to the person listening at home or to have a shared experience or to make their life better or to be about something bigger than themselves, it's interesting how different it feels to me.

• 57:24Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 57:24Jamie Kern Lima?

  Like you could feel it.

• 57:25Speaker 01

  In your tummy, yeah.

• 57:26Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah. And one takes your energy, it doesn't feel good. And the other gives you so much.

• 57:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:32Jamie Kern Lima?

  Has me jumping out of my seat. Because I know how many people it's helping. And it's, it's so interesting. I think too, like for everyone listening, that's how they know, are you in the right job? Are you in the right relationship? Are you, you know what I mean? Like, what is your, what do you feel like? Does it give you energy or is it or not? You know?

• 57:51Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 57:51Jamie Kern Lima?

  Or not?

• 57:52Speaker 01

  Energy is everything. I mean, we are literally made of it. And there's things that take it and there's things that replenish it. And you know, it's interesting. Bumble has been wildly covered in the media.

• 58:06Speaker 01

  And I cannot tell you, Jamie, how many people have called me and been like, okay, what's your press strategy? Like, what agencies did you use? Like, who was the best person that like wrote your press releases? And I'm like, okay, let me be clear. Yes, we've had kick ass people on our team.

• 58:23Speaker 01

  This is the pure intention of the business. It wrote itself. True, genuine intentionality behind anything. That is, it's the authenticity that actually matters. And so we started this conversation today. You're like, you're an open book. Why, how are you an open book? I'm telling you right now that authenticity is the only frequency for me. Like, you would just have to be authentic. And that doesn't mean you have to pour your heart out. You can be guarded, you can be private. I think we can all have our own boundaries for what work for us. That is, that's our prerogative. And it's also our, our, um, our needs.

• 59:07Speaker 01

  Like, we all have to define what works for us as individuals. But what I do think is going to come out in the coming years, and we're already seeing the shift with media, with influencers, with everything, like authenticity can't be engineered.

• 59:25Speaker 01

  It can't be written. It can't be faked. It is genuinely, it has to be real. And that's why I always say, like, take me with all my flaws, all my weaknesses, all of my scratches and, and, you know, all of the battle wounds. Like, you're gonna get me at the end of the day. And if that doesn't work for you, then like, that's okay. You know, this is the train I'm on. This is where I'm going. And I think we should all just be trying to be our highest versions of ourselves. It's interesting, Jamie, I wrote myself an email this summer. Bumble stock had hit its all time low. And the internet fodder was like, Bumble's dead and what a joke and da, da, da, da.

• 1:00:09Speaker 01

  I mean, like, if I was attached to headlines or ego, it would have been a dark day. Let's just put it that way. But I'm so free of that now. I wrote myself an email and I said, today is one of the best days of my life because I can actually tell you with certainty, because I'm living it. Net worth, accolades, all the external things does not equal happiness. It does not equal self-worth. And I wrote all the reasons why I'm happy. All the beautiful gifts. My children are safe. They're healthy. Thank God. I love myself, not because I'm a narcissist or I'm obsessed with myself, but because we all should

• 1:00:53Speaker 01

  love ourselves, because we should all give ourselves grace. And we are enough. All of us are enough, each and every one of us, whoever we are and however we are. And I think when you can actually just say that out loud, like, all is okay. And I literally wrote that letter to myself on a day that should have been perceived as a bad day. I got 100 texts. Are you okay, babe? Are you okay? Can I do anything for you? And I'm like, I'm good. I'm good. I'm outside. I'm looking at the trees. Everything is fine. So I think, you know, if we can all get to a place where we don't build businesses for the validation or the recognition, that's actually, first of all, when it comes, that's when you start getting recognized.

• 1:01:36Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:36Speaker 01

  Because you're not seeking it. It's exactly what you said.

• 1:01:40Jamie Kern Lima?

  You know, that's so powerful. That's such a good tool for everyone to put in your toolbox, too. Because it's, it's, I think it's for so many people, a lifelong journey, if they've even started it yet.

• 1:01:53Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:01:53Jamie Kern Lima?

  To realize those things and then to also just be like, okay, my net, my self-worth is not attached to like, external circumstances. I want to talk to everyone at home right now who has a dream or an idea or, you know, a vision for something in the future. And I feel and know that entrepreneurs, like, we can take inspiration and, you know, and, and get ideas from some of the most, you know, varying of things. And can you share a little bit, Whitney, about your obsession with Disney?

• 1:02:25Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:02:25Jamie Kern Lima?

  Growing up?

• 1:02:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:27Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes.

• 1:02:28Speaker 01

  I was totally obsessed with Walt Disney, not Disney, the brand. I loved the brand, but I wasn't, I wasn't like, trying to, I wasn't obsessed with Disney in a traditional sense. Let me explain that. I was obsessed with Walt Disney.

• 1:02:44Speaker 01

  I was completely obsessed with Walt Disney. I was fascinated that a human being could use their mind and imagine something and create a dream world. I was completely mesmerized by the capability of the human mind and then the ability of someone to execute on that. So I remember sitting in class as a little girl and I would do the same W as Walt Disney for my name, for Whitney Wolfe. And so I probably have a thousand notebooks from when I was a child, like elementary school, where I'm doing the same signature as Walt Disney, Whitney Wolfe, because it was Walt with that W. And I wanted the same W. I was like, what a magical creature.

• 1:03:25Speaker 01

  My high school yearbook quote was, I don't have it memorized, but something like, if you can dream it, you can do it. Like this all started with a mouse and a dream, right? Something along those lines. And I will say, like, I've always been a dreamer, always been a dreamer. And I was just so inspired that someone could take a dream and what I like to call a download or an inspiration or whatever you want to call it, right? And then really turn it into something that others can enjoy or get value from. And so as I reflect now as a 35-year-old woman sitting here with you, the fact that

• 1:04:09Speaker 01

  the little girl drawing the Walt Disney signature can say that there's like babies out in the world

• 1:04:15Jamie Kern Lima?

  Yes.

• 1:04:16Speaker 01

  that are running around and living in beautiful, sweet, happy families because of a product I helped create, you know, it's pretty, that's like pretty rewarding. And I know you have the same ability to say the same thing. And so I guess the message I would have for people is like, I was just a little girl in Salt Lake City, Utah, trying to scribble my name after Walt Disney. Inspiration and mentors matter. Like seeing things that inspire us matter. And so I think my point is like, get inspired. Watch this show with everybody you bring on, like, you know, read about people that have defeated their own odds and that energy does kind of impart on us and we can do it too.

• 1:05:00Jamie Kern Lima?

  Remember, this episode is not just for you and me. Please share this with every single person you know, because it can change their life, too. Coming up, this conversation is so incredible, so transformative, and also so inspiring that we made it into another part. And if you are ready to learn how to manifest new and meaningful friends, mentors, and relationships in your life, even if some of them haven't worked out so well in the past, you are not going to want to miss this Part Two with Whitney Wolfe Herd, coming up in the next episode of The Jamie Kern Lima Show. If you loved today's episode, my only ask is you please click on the Follow

• 1:05:43Jamie Kern Lima?

  or Subscribe button for the show on your app. Give it a five-star rating or review, and then share this episode with everyone you believe in. Share it with another person in your life who could benefit from it. Post it and share it with others online or in your community who just might need the words and tools and lessons and inspiration in this episode today. You never know whose life you're meant to change today by sharing this episode. And thank you so much for joining me today. Before you go, I want to share some words with you that couldn't be more true. You, right now, exactly as you are, are enough and fully worthy. You're worthy of your greatest hopes, your wildest dreams,

• 1:06:27Jamie Kern Lima?

  and all the unconditional love in the world. It is an honor to welcome you to each and every episode of The Jamie Kern Lima Show. Here, I hope you'll come as you are, heal where you need, blossom what you choose, journey toward your calling, and stay as long as you'd like, because you belong here. You are worthy, you are loved, you are love. I love you. And I cannot wait to join you on the next episode of The Jamie Kern Lima Show. Do you struggle with negative self-talk? Living with a constant mental narrative that you're not good enough is exhausting. I know because I spent most of my life in that habit.

• 1:07:12Jamie Kern Lima?

  The words you say to yourself about yourself are so powerful. And when you learn to take control over your self-talk, it's life-changing. And I wanted to give you a free resource that I created for you if this is something that could benefit your life. It's called "Five Ways to Overcome Negative Self-Talk and Build Self-Love." And it's a free how-to guide to overcome that negative self-talk to build confidence and develop unshakable self-love so that you can dream big and keep going in the pursuit of your goals. Don't let self-sabotaging thoughts hinder your progress any longer.

• 1:07:53Jamie Kern Lima?

  It's time to rewrite the script of your life, one filled with self-love, resilience, and unwavering belief. If you're ready to take charge of your narrative, build unwavering confidence, and empower yourself to persevere on the path to your dreams, you can grab your free guide to Stop Overthinking and Learn to Trust Yourself at jamiekernlima.com/resources, or click the link in the show notes below. Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious. And so is self-belief. And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration.

• 1:08:37Jamie Kern Lima?

  Which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you, delivered straight to your inbox from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jamiekernlima.com to make sure you're on the list, and you'll get your One-on-One with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you. If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy, and love hitting your inbox, I'm your girl. Subscribe at jamiekernlima.com or in the link in the show notes.

• 1:09:18Speaker 04

  I am so excited for this book. You know why? Because it's going to save so many people.

• 1:09:28Speaker 05

  The, your new beautiful book, Worthy.

• 1:09:31Speaker 03

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• 1:09:32Speaker 05

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• 1:09:38Speaker 04

  Anybody who's ever felt that they were not good enough, didn't measure up, something's missing in your life, I have to tell you.

• 1:09:45Speaker 05

  It's powerful. It's happening. It's worthy.

• 1:09:49Jamie Kern Lima?

  Imagine, what would you do if you fully believed in you? I went from struggling waitress facing non-stop rejection to founder of It Cosmetics, a billion-dollar company, by learning how to overcome self-doubt and believe I am worthy of my hopes and dreams, and I'm sharing how you can too in my new book, Worthy: How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life. If you're ready to truly trust yourself and break through that barrier of self-doubt and know that where you come from, or even where you are right now, doesn't determine where you're going, then Worthy is for you.

• 1:10:33Jamie Kern Lima?

  It's time to go from doubting you're enough to knowing you're enough. It's time to step into all of who you are and into the person you were born to be. And it's time to believe that you are worthy of it. Because in life, we don't become what we want, we become what we believe we're worthy of.

• 1:10:55Jamie Kern Lima?

  Join the Worthy movement today by grabbing your copy of Worthy anywhere books are sold and head to worthybook.com now for free gifts, including my five-part course on Becoming Unstoppable and my 95-page Worthy Workbook Action Plan that teaches you how to implement the tools from the book into your real life right now.

• 1:11:18Speaker 06

  Worthy is groundbreaking.

• 1:11:22Speaker 07

  Worthy, you are worthy. This book is gonna change lives.

• 1:11:25Jamie Kern Lima?

  This book literally will teach you how to actually feel worthy so that you can have the strength, you can have the confidence.

• 1:11:31Speaker 06

  The lessons in this book and the strategies will change your life. You will never be the same again after you read this book.

• 1:11:37Speaker 03

  Jamie's book Worthy is a must read. It is going to inspire you, empower you, give you the hope that you need and the kick in the rear end that you deserve.

• 1:11:49Jamie Kern Lima?

  Jamie's book Worthy is incredible. The gifts are going away, but they're all free right now on worthybook.com.

• 1:11:57Jamie Kern Lima?

  It's such an honor to share this podcast together with you. And please note, I'm not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.