Ask, Tell, Confess: Why Was the Cucumber Wet at Zaxby’s

Buckle up, babes. The Coven is back with another absolutely unhinged episode of Ask, Tell, Confess. From cucumber-and-condom mysteries at Zaxby’s to revenge marriages, OnlyFans love stories, public hookup confessions, and a pool prank gone horribly wrong… this one spirals FAST. The Coven reacts to wild listener stories, chaotic relationship drama, embarrassing bedroom disasters, and the kind of no-filter conversations you can only get on ATC. Equal parts hilarious, shocking, and way too relatable. Watch Full Episodes & More: YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@Dumbblondepod

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Bunnie XO?

  Ask, Tell, Confess.

• 0:17Bunnie XO?

  Hello friends, welcome to another Ask, Tell, Confess.

• 0:35Speaker 01

  I sent a video in the chat the other day. Do you remember Winnie the Pooh and there's the beaver?

• 0:40Speaker 02

  There's a beaver and Winnie? Nope, don't, no.

• 0:42Speaker 01

  That's literally Bunny.

• 0:44Bunnie XO?

  I love him.

• 0:45Speaker 02

  In Winnie the Pooh or?

• 0:46Speaker 01

  In Winnie the Pooh.

• 0:47Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 0:48Speaker 01

  There was a beaver. It is literally Bunny.

• 0:50Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. Ah, how's everybody doing? We're all wearing our shirts from Jason today.

• 0:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, you guys saw the last episode?

• 0:57Bunnie XO?

  Yep.

• 0:59Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:00Bunnie XO?

  How are you guys doing? You guys got some confessions for us to read today?

• 1:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04Bunnie XO?

  Oh, you guys got some good ones. You've been starting off the past two episodes.

• 1:07Speaker 01

  I brought a video to the table.

• 1:09Bunnie XO?

  Oh.

• 1:10Speaker 01

  Can you turn the TV on for me?

• 1:12Bunnie XO?

  Scared.

• 1:13Speaker 01

  Uh oh. In my friend chat the other day.

• 1:16Bunnie XO?

  Friend chat?

• 1:18Speaker 01

  Dustin and Amy.

• 1:18Bunnie XO?

  Okay.

• 1:19Speaker 01

  They went to, so they come over every week and mow our lawn. They have a lawn care service. And they left our house and we're like, we're gonna go to lunch, right?

• 1:33Speaker 01

  I have to show you guys what they found.

• 1:34Bunnie XO?

  Okay.

• 1:35Speaker 01

  I made her send me a video.

• 1:37Speaker 03

  Eat the beef, smell the queef.

• 1:43Speaker 04

  Look on this bad boy.

• 1:46Speaker 04

  Look at it.

• 1:47Bunnie XO?

  What is that?

• 1:48Speaker 04

  A cucumber with a condom over it?

• 1:54Speaker 01

  Someone was getting down in the Zaxby's.

• 1:57Bunnie XO?

  What was that used for?

• 1:59Speaker 02

  In the butt.

• 2:00Speaker 01

  You think in the butt?

• 2:01Speaker 02

  For sure.

• 2:01Bunnie XO?

  It's curved.

• 2:02Speaker 02

  But they're at Zaxby's.

• 2:04Speaker 04

  That's a nice, that's a

• 2:05Speaker 05

  Nice cucumber.

• 2:07Bunnie XO?

  That is a, it's.

• 2:08Speaker 01

  Look at it in comparison to Dustin's foot, though. That's the length of his foot.

• 2:12Bunnie XO?

  That looks like a squash.

• 2:14Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 2:15Bunnie XO?

  Are we sure that's a cucumber?

• 2:16Speaker 05

  It'd be a zucchini.

• 2:17Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, like a zucchini.

• 2:18Speaker 01

  The zucchini.

• 2:20Speaker 05

  I don't know, but it's girthy.

• 2:21Bunnie XO?

  Golly.

• 2:22Speaker 05

  That'd hurt.

• 2:23Bunnie XO?

  I, I wonder where that thing's been. We could only ponder.

• 2:27Speaker 05

  I don't know.

• 2:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, it looks all lubed up, too. It's very wet.

• 2:30Bunnie XO?

  Ugh. What's on the inside? Why is it all white?

• 2:33Speaker 05

  Condensation.

• 2:34Speaker 01

  She said there's something in it.

• 2:35Bunnie XO?

  Ew, dude.

• 2:37Speaker 01

  Do you think that the condom was used when they put it on the cucumber?

• 2:42Speaker 05

  I mean, look at the tip.

• 2:43Bunnie XO?

  Listen, people have way too much fucking time on their hands, man.

• 2:46Speaker 01

  I don't know. I'm not a fan of Zaxby's enough to want to put something in my butt.

• 2:50Bunnie XO?

  Somebody film some OF.

• 2:51Speaker 05

  Zaxby's is great.

• 2:52Bunnie XO?

  Somebody probably filmed some OF content.

• 2:55Speaker 01

  You like Zaxby's that much?

• 2:58Speaker 05

  I mean, not to take a fucking cucumber up my ass.

• 3:02Bunnie XO?

  She's like, but I'll do some tricks for some fucking chicken fingers. The fucking Nashville hot chicken fingers. I just saw their damn commercial the other day. Last night, actually.

• 3:13Speaker 05

  Actually, no, they took away their club sandwich, which I hope Zaxby's hears this. And I've never been back since.

• 3:20Bunnie XO?

  Oh.

• 3:22Speaker 01

  It pissed me off when they got rid of the birthday cake shake and tried to come back with it, and it was not the birthday cake shake. You're a fucking liar. Pissed me off.

• 3:30Speaker 05

  Pissed me off, yeah.

• 3:31Speaker 01

  I was pregnant with, I think, cash. When that one came out and it had like a chocolate frosting on it. Damn it, that was good.

• 3:41Bunnie XO?

  I've, just, I'll take a shake any day. I'm friggin'.

• 3:45Speaker 05

  Shake does sound.

• 3:46Bunnie XO?

  I wish I could have a shake.

• 3:48Speaker 01

  I feel like I'd throw up if I had a shake right now.

• 3:50Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 3:52Bunnie XO?

  What you got, Haley? You've been fucking waiting to give us the tea. Y'all know I'm always doing something to the house, and lately I've been working on our outdoor space. I'd been looking for something to pull the patio together when I found the Hardigan black and white outdoor rug on Wayfair. Once I put it down, I loved how the clean, modern, geometric pattern completely pulled the space together without having to redo everything. Plus, it's stain and water.

• 4:16Speaker 05

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• 4:48Speaker 04

  Wayfair, every style, every home.

• 4:51Bunnie XO?

  Attention all new and existing members of the W D N C. I'm Melanie Sanders, and this is the We Do Not Care Club Podcast. We got to midlife and realized we just simply do not care much anymore. Now, we gotta help each other make sense of hot flashes, dry coochie, chin hair, trifling families, brain fog, and bat wings. We are not alone, and we will be heard. So come join the W D N C. Follow and listen to the We Do Not Care Club Podcast with Melanie Sanders wherever you get your podcasts.

• 5:21Speaker 05

  It, may or may not go along with this.

• 5:24Bunnie XO?

  Oh.

• 5:24Speaker 05

  Uh, in high school, in my FFA class, I overheard these two boys who were sitting beside me and talking about whenever they get drunk, they stick pears up each other's butts.

• 5:36Bunnie XO?

  What?

• 5:37Speaker 05

  I interrupted their convo and asked if I heard what they said correctly, and they said yes. They acted like it was normal and no big deal. I then asked, I'm not gonna judge or anything, but like, are y'all gay? And one of the boys said no, and that he had a girlfriend. Another question I asked was, how do you not get caught doing that? And the boy that had a girlfriend, his response was, we just wait till my mom leaves the house. I was in shock and disgusted, and they just kept saying, we are drunk when we do it. It's not a big deal. I obviously had other thoughts and questions in my mind, but I was already too disturbed to really say anything else.

• 6:11Bunnie XO?

  So dude's having a hard time accepting the fact that he might be bi. If you're waiting till your mom leaves the house, you know you're doing something wrong. So.

• 6:22Speaker 05

  Why a pear?

• 6:23Speaker 01

  That's a very soft fruit.

• 6:24Bunnie XO?

  Soft, it's fucking round and bulbous dude. Whose asshole is that big?

• 6:29Speaker 05

  Which end?

• 6:30Speaker 01

  You gotta start on the small end.

• 6:32Speaker 05

  I hope they start on.

• 6:33Bunnie XO?

  Hmm, I don't know, man.

• 6:35Speaker 05

  Why a pear? Start with a pear.

• 6:37Speaker 01

  Have you ever stuck something inside of you?

• 6:39Bunnie XO?

  Why not a dick at this point?

• 6:41Speaker 01

  To go inside of you?

• 6:42Bunnie XO?

  Dick is probably a lot more comfortable than a fucking pear.

• 6:44Speaker 05

  They probably think that is gay.

• 6:46Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, that's crossing the line.

• 6:49Speaker 05

  That's crossing the line.

• 6:50Speaker 01

  Pear, not gay. Dick, gay.

• 6:53Bunnie XO?

  Having your best friend shove a pear up your ass is not gay, but hey, we only wait till our mom leaves, so. Yeah, well. That's crazy too, yeah.

• 7:06Bunnie XO?

  Alright, well, thanks. Thanks Haley.

• 7:08Speaker 05

  You're welcome.

• 7:09Bunnie XO?

  Oh, my turn. My turn, my turn. So around seven weeks ago, I saw a TikTok of a girl and her cat. I was instantly, to say the least, attracted to her. To cut a long story short, she's an OnlyFans girl, so I got myself an account and followed her. We've been talking daily ever since and we seem to have such a beautiful mutual connection and I'm happy to see it flourish. She knows I have a partner and father to two stepdaughters and we have a 20 year age gap, which we are both comfortable with. I absolutely adore the bones of this girl and it scares the shit out of me.

• 7:50Bunnie XO?

  What do I do?

• 7:52Speaker 05

  He has a partner?

• 7:54Bunnie XO?

  He has a partner and two little girls who call him stepdad, so.

• 7:57Speaker 05

  Okay, so what also? What do we need to help?

• 8:01Speaker 01

  She's being nice to you because you're paying her.

• 8:03Bunnie XO?

  Exactly.

• 8:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like going to the strip club and being like, she loves me dude.

• 8:09Speaker 02

  Like, sorry, that's what it sounds like. If you guys are talking like off the app, off the OnlyFans thing, I get what you're saying.

• 8:14Bunnie XO?

  No, but if there's any, if you're, even if you're talking off the app and you're still giving her any sort of monetary compensation, that is the only reason she's talking to you. Take away the money and. See and listen, I'm not trying to be a hater because girl, get your bag. You know what I'm saying? But at the same time, it's like, let's call a spade a spade. I was one of those girls. I had so many sugar daddies that I took money from and literally had a man that was my man sleeping next to me.

• 8:41Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 8:42Bunnie XO?

  I would have my ex-boyfriends call my sugar daddies and pull licks with me, you know, so.

• 8:48Speaker 02

  Now, how often would they fall in love with you like?

• 8:51Bunnie XO?

  Sugar daddies?

• 8:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:52Bunnie XO?

  Um, it depended on how long. I had quite a few old, older rich men fall in love with me that wanted to marry me, but I just could never do that. But this girl for sure is taking him for a ride. And the 20 year age gap kind of concerns me because you have two stepdaughters.

• 9:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:09Bunnie XO?

  How old are they?

• 9:10Speaker 01

  Yeah. How old is the girl you're talking to?

• 9:13Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. How old is the girl you're talking to? Like, you know, the grass always seems greener, but I promise you it's not, dude.

• 9:21Speaker 01

  No.

• 9:21Bunnie XO?

  Like, it's not worth it. Yeah. And you're, you're essentially, you are emotionally cheating, financially cheating, because if you've made an OnlyFans, you're for sure, you had to pay the subscription.

• 9:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:32Bunnie XO?

  You're already checked out. So the best thing you could do is tell your partner and either you guys separate, or if she's on board with it and you guys have some sort of agreement, cool, can continue on. But I genuinely think you need to tell your wife what's going on and.

• 9:48Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 9:49Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 9:50Speaker 01

  Yeah. Hate to break it to you. She don't love you.

• 9:53Bunnie XO?

  No, for sure. Take the money away and see how long she talks to you for.

• 9:57Speaker 01

  Exactly. Like, and you probably had to pay her to slide into her DMs on OF.

• 10:02Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, I'm sure.

• 10:03Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 10:04Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 10:05Speaker 01

  Okay, so this one says, um, I met a boy in middle school, fell madly in love. Uh, I came from a toxic family and it was hell. So first chance I got, I moved in with my boyfriend and his family. Well, everything was good at first and before I knew it, after a few years, he was staying at his brother's and leaving me behind until I realized he had been cheating on me. So I sold and married his fucking dad. I.

• 10:33Bunnie XO?

  Damn.

• 10:35Speaker 05

  Damn. Fucking took a turn.

• 10:37Bunnie XO?

  I mean, and that was, that was like an abrupt turn.

• 10:40Speaker 01

  Had two kids with him. Let's just say I'm now his stepmom.

• 10:48Speaker 01

  This motherfucker won't ever forget my name or how he did me dirty. So I did him dirty. Since my husband has since passed being 20 years older than me.

• 11:00Speaker 01

  And now I remarried and I'm living the life I deserve with my two children that are now his little brothers. Ha ha karma is a bitch and hopefully it taught him a life lesson not to fuck over a mentally unstable person lol. I hope this finds its way onto the podcast.

• 11:16Bunnie XO?

  I like that you read lol.

• 11:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, now I had to add that in there.

• 11:19Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, um, you know, listen, I don't want to hate the player or the game, but I think that was a little overkill.

• 11:26Speaker 01

  I do feel like she did it purely out of spite and didn't actually love the dad because now you're saying that you are living the life you deserve.

• 11:33Bunnie XO?

  But and you brought two kids into this world out of spite.

• 11:36Speaker 01

  Out of spite, yeah.

• 11:38Bunnie XO?

  I don't know. I just feel like that's that right there alone is like gonna give you an autoimmune disorder. You know, like if you have that much anger and unforgiveness in your heart, it's gonna come out in other ways later on in life. And I'm not dogging you, girl, at all. I get it. We've all done fucked up shit for revenge, but I mean, that was that was a very manic decision.

• 12:01Speaker 01

  So I was like, you really stuck to that.

• 12:03Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, and I get it, man. Getting cheated on is the worst fucking feeling ever and you really, really want to fucking get those people back whenever they hurt you like that, but.

• 12:13Speaker 01

  Maybe slash his tires and not fuck his dad.

• 12:15Bunnie XO?

  Those babies, you know, and do those, does he have a relationship with his little brothers now because of the whole situation?

• 12:22Speaker 01

  Cause there could be a spite thing there. It's like he doesn't want a relationship.

• 12:25Speaker 05

  Or did that come between him and his dad?

• 12:27Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, and how was the relationship with him and his dad? Like, did you cause a rift between a son and a father? It's just like, I don't know, there's just so many.

• 12:36Speaker 01

  Hey, she recognizes her issues and we love an accountable queen.

• 12:39Bunnie XO?

  We love, love, love, love a queen that takes accountability. But I'm glad she's living her best life now.

• 12:47Bunnie XO?

  I love that. My partner and I bought a house in the country last year and have been battling a mouse problem. We finally felt like we got it under control. I was home from work one day and my dog was fixated on my partner's nightstand like he would, like he would track down critters in other parts of the house. I open the top drawer and see nothing, close it, open the bottom drawer. Well, that's where we keep all of our adult toys. When I opened the bottom drawer, there is a nest of shredded paper and six pink baby mice in his penis pump. I was beyond baffled. I FaceTimed him at work and the look of disbelief was incredible, but so valid. We've been so tickled by this and

• 13:30Bunnie XO?

  wanted to tell someone because it's hilarious. So this is my throwaway account. I've been waiting all week to share this with y'all.

• 13:38Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 13:38Speaker 05

  In the penis pump as well. Did they take a picture?

• 13:41Bunnie XO?

  They burrowed in. They burrowed in because it's like a little hamster cage.

• 13:48Speaker 01

  Oh, my gosh.

• 13:51Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, you could never use a frog in that penis pump ever again. I hope they didn't use it again. Today's episode is brought to you by Vinted. Y'all know how it goes. You open your closet and have a million things hanging up, but somehow still feel like you have nothing to wear. That's me. And let's be real, half that stuff hasn't been touched in forever. Instead of letting all those clothes just sit there taking up space, you might as well make a little money off of them. If you haven't used it yet, Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app that makes it so simple to sell the quality clothes you no longer wear and discover unique pieces at great prices. And the best part, you don't have to make a whole project out of selling your clothes. Listing your clothes on Vinted is quick and simple, and once something sells, Vinted creates

• 14:35Bunnie XO?

  the prepaid shipping label for you, so you don't have to worry about that part. Best of all, there are no seller fees, which means you actually keep every single dollar you earn from your sales. So instead of letting all those clothes collect dust, Vinted gives you a way to clear out some space, make a little extra money, and maybe even find something new to love. Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees, so you keep everything you earn. And why is dude got a penis pump? Those things are Don't even really work.

• 15:08Bunnie XO?

  My ex used to use one. I've told you guys, I walked in on him in the closet.

• 15:13Bunnie XO?

  I mean, he already had a fucking hog on him. So it was like.

• 15:19Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, like, so I'm like, what are we doing? Like, it didn't do anything different.

• 15:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's trauma.

• 15:25Bunnie XO?

  It stretches the penis out and like hurts it more. I don't think it like.

• 15:29Speaker 01

  Trauma, Dick, is wild.

• 15:32Bunnie XO?

  Maybe they like it because it makes all the blood rush to it. Maybe it's a sensitivity thing, but yeah. No, that's hilarious. I hope you guys fucking bomb the fuck out of your house, though. I would freak out with that many mice next to my bed. Oh, God.

• 15:47Speaker 05

  I'd like to know where they went.

• 15:48Bunnie XO?

  In the fucking toilet.

• 15:52Bunnie XO?

  Yep.

• 15:54Bunnie XO?

  Yep. Listen, I free. Listen, I free ladybugs. I do all of that, but mice living in your house, you gotta make an example.

• 16:05Speaker 01

  No, we, I get it. I live in the country. I got a cat for this exact reason because we have little mice out in the chicken coops and in the barn and I can't handle that and I'm terrified of them getting to the house. So we, you guys all know the series of barn cats car, but that right there. What were they doing while you were sleeping? That's what I would like to know. Were they running on your bed?

• 16:29Speaker 03

  I just got the chills.

• 16:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:32Bunnie XO?

  Flush the whole house down the drain. I can't fucking do it.

• 16:35Speaker 01

  Burn the whole motherfucker down.

• 16:36Bunnie XO?

  Burn the whole motherfucker down, Pookie. I'm over it.

• 16:39Speaker 05

  What do we got, one? Okay. This is from Sierra. Not mine, but my sister's story. And she's no longer with us, so I'm gonna tell it. This is only for you, cuz you like shit and buttholes. She said, my sister had a thing with this guy, hideous in my opinion. I was 21 at the time. We were all drinking and my sister's friend ends up walking me home. My sister had a migraine. She gets in her purse and takes what she thought is Tylenol.

• 17:08Bunnie XO?

  Oh, no.

• 17:09Speaker 05

  They were laxatives. Uh, her and dude end up doing the deed. I was not there for this. Um, but as my sister told it, he was coming and said, wow, you're so wet. Then said, do you smell shit? My sister shit his whole bed and it was graphic. Um, she ran to the bathroom and threw herself in the shower to wash the shit off. She came out to him, nowhere to be seen with a Walmart bag on top, her shoes with her shit filled pants and a sticky note that said, please don't contact me again.

• 17:46Speaker 01

  The sticky note? You could have just left. I think she would have known.

• 17:50Speaker 05

  Sticky notes wild. How did you know where a sticky note was?

• 17:53Bunnie XO?

  She was in his house.

• 17:55Speaker 02

  Get bored, he'd go.

• 17:56Speaker 05

  Oh, that was, oh yeah, it was his house.

• 17:58Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, that's.

• 18:03Speaker 05

  That's even crazier.

• 18:04Speaker 01

  Drive. I gotta go.

• 18:07Speaker 05

  Said, I need a cig.

• 18:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:08Bunnie XO?

  My thing is, is I don't care how fucking much diarrhea I have. I know when it's coming out.

• 18:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, you didn't know that.

• 18:17Speaker 05

  She was drinking. She was drinking and.

• 18:23Speaker 01

  Laxative. That's.

• 18:27Speaker 05

  She probably felt like she was just like finishing and it was from a different hole.

• 18:33Speaker 01

  Oh gosh. You know how, okay, not just that, he fucked the shit into her.

• 18:41Bunnie XO?

  Cause it went on her pussy. Uh, were they doing anal? Were they doing anal?

• 18:47Speaker 05

  I don't know.

• 18:48Bunnie XO?

  Oh, I have so many questions.

• 18:51Bunnie XO?

  I have.

• 18:52Speaker 01

  Funny going.

• 18:56Bunnie XO?

  I mean, I, I'm really into this story. I gotta know.

• 19:03Bunnie XO?

  I've like

• 19:04Speaker 01

  That one got me.

• 19:05Bunnie XO?

  Listen, guys, listen, we need full context. I need every last detail because my mind wanders, you know?

• 19:14Speaker 05

  I'm like, was it the, I want to know if it's the Walmart bag with the smiley face on it.

• 19:19Bunnie XO?

  I want to know where he found a pen and a sticky note, like

• 19:22Speaker 05

  In that amount of time.

• 19:24Speaker 01

  So quick.

• 19:25Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, so quick. While she's in the shower, poor girl.

• 19:27Speaker 05

  And that's not, that's, listen dude, that dude sucks.

• 19:30Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 19:31Speaker 05

  Like, let's really talk about it. That dude fucking sucks.

• 19:33Speaker 01

  He should have been helping you out.

• 19:35Speaker 05

  He should have.

• 19:36Speaker 01

  Let some wipes out or something.

• 19:37Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, he's like, dude, are you okay? Like, holy shit, I'm so sorry that this happened. Like,

• 19:42Speaker 01

  That man ain't shit.

• 19:43Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, he ain't shit. I'm sure, you know what? He probably shit the bed one time after that.

• 19:47Speaker 01

  Maybe it was his shit.

• 19:48Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, it could have been his shit. Wasn't even the sisters. Yeah. I've got so many questions.

• 19:54Speaker 01

  Wait, I can't choose between the two. I think I want to go with this one. Uh, my hubby and I are nymphos. Back in the hippie days.

• 20:02Bunnie XO?

  Likes sex.

• 20:03Speaker 01

  I mean, all the time.

• 20:05Bunnie XO?

  Okay.

• 20:05Speaker 01

  Okay. So, back in the hippie days, free love, we streaked naked the neighborhood with sparklers.

• 20:11Bunnie XO?

  Back in the hippie days, so seventies?

• 20:12Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 20:13Bunnie XO?

  Okay.

• 20:14Speaker 01

  And that's when it began. So their, their love for sex together was streaking naked with sparklers. We had sex in the woods at a family reunion on a bank near the river in broad daylight. In a showroom, buying a car that was a tricky one, but we did it. I sat on his lap while the salesperson was away.

• 20:32Bunnie XO?

  Okay, so they're voyeurs. They're not nymphos, they're voyeurs.

• 20:35Speaker 01

  What the hell is that?

• 20:36Speaker 05

  I don't know what that means. I thought it was when you're on vacation.

• 20:38Bunnie XO?

  No, a voyeur is people who like to have sex in public places and, and, and like the idea of getting caught.

• 20:45Speaker 01

  Oh, this is a new word. The more you know. Uh, I sat on his lap while the salesperson was away. He slipped it in. The excitement, the thrill that day in our backyard pool at a free love concert. It was always a journey and it happened often. I would always wear a dress with nothing underneath and he would always wear shorts or something that made it easy access to have sex happen in the strangest places. It was the best sex I ever had. It was a crazy ride and a love affair. We didn't care. Free love hippie days. Yes, I'm an old lady now and I still rock having a great sex life.

• 21:17Bunnie XO?

  Oh, period. We love that for her.

• 21:19Speaker 01

  Go her.

• 21:20Bunnie XO?

  I love that. I wonder if her and the dude are still together.

• 21:23Speaker 01

  Doesn't sound like it.

• 21:24Bunnie XO?

  Oh.

• 21:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, she just loved that time.

• 21:27Bunnie XO?

  That's gonna be me one day reminiscing about my fucking wild hoe days. I'm telling you, man. Life creeps up on you fast, dude.

• 21:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, she's in her 60s now. Go, go you.

• 21:38Bunnie XO?

  Go you, mama. That means she's got her hormones right, too. We stan a HRT queen. For anonymity, for anonymity.

• 21:51Bunnie XO?

  Keep me anonymous.

• 21:52Speaker 01

  What does that mean?

• 21:54Bunnie XO?

  Call me Jack. I want to come out to my family as gay. What do I do?

• 22:02Bunnie XO?

  For context, I am a teenager.

• 22:05Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 22:06Bunnie XO?

  Sweet boy.

• 22:07Speaker 01

  Okay, I get it.

• 22:08Bunnie XO?

  Well, Jack, um, this is kind of a personal question because we don't know, like, the background of your family. I don't want to walk you into something that is going to completely devastate you or traumatize you. I would need to know more information on how to approach that, but I do think there's nothing better in this life than living authentically in the skin that you're in.

• 22:32Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 22:34Bunnie XO?

  So I think, you know, we would probably need to know more details. If you can circle back, that would be awesome. And then we could guide you a little bit better, but just blindly going in.

• 22:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, because like testing the waters, we would definitely need to know where the parents' standpoint in this. Like what kind of, you know, because you could test the waters with them and they could be already fully accepting of this.

• 22:53Bunnie XO?

  Right. Yeah, they probably already know.

• 22:55Speaker 01

  True.

• 22:56Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, you think that parents don't know, but we know. We know when somebody is, you know, batting for the other team because you can just tell.

• 23:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, they might already know, or they could be completely oblivious, but I do feel like you could probably pry a little bit without being too obvious and get their standpoint just from that right there.

• 23:17Bunnie XO?

  I'm sure they are. If he's asking for our advice, I'm assuming they're probably not easy to talk to. Because he probably would have already came out to them, but that's again, me making assumptions, so I can't.

• 23:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, we need more, more context to that one would be great because we would love to help you in that journey because it is such a beautiful thing to live authentically yourself.

• 23:40Bunnie XO?

  Yep.

• 23:41Speaker 01

  So.

• 23:42Bunnie XO?

  I've been needing new glasses forever and it's just one of those things I keep putting off. So I finally went on Zenni to pick out a new pair. I'm going with these black rectangle glasses that are really similar to the ones I already wear because, listen, I know what I like. They're classic, they go with everything, and I'm excited to get them. Zenni has frames starting from under $30 and I love that you can use their virtual try-on to see what different frames look like before you order. You just find a pair you love, enter your prescription, customize your lenses, and they'll ship them right to your door. Zenni is truly the easiest way to shop for stylish prescription glasses without the headache, backed by over 150,000 5-star reviews. Check new glasses off your list today with Zenni. Go to zenni.com/podcast

• 24:26Bunnie XO?

  and use code PODCAST15 for 15% off plus free shipping over $65. Style sellout, so don't wait. That's Z E N N I dot com slash podcast, promo code PODCAST15. Zenni.com/podcast, code PODCAST15. Listen, nobody wants to give their money away to ridiculous bank fees. It's your money. You shouldn't have to pay somebody just to keep it in an account. That's why I like what Chime is doing. There are no overdraft fees, no monthly fees, and no minimum balance fees. You can also get 5% cash back on your Chime card in a category you choose, like gas or groceries, while building credit through your everyday spending with no credit check.

• 25:07Bunnie XO?

  And if you're ever in a pinch, SpotMe lets you overdraft up to $200 fee-free. To me, banking should make managing your money easier, not nickel and dime you every chance it gets. So if you're tired of ridiculous fees, Chime is definitely worth checking out. Join the millions who are already banking fee-free with America's number one choice for banking. Head to chime.com/bunny. That's chime.com/b-u-n-n-i-e. Sign up now. It only takes a few minutes. Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services and Chime Card provide By Chimes Bank Partners. Qualifying direct deposits required. Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com slash disclosures for details. Proud of you, Jack, though. Proud of you.

• 25:48Speaker 01

  Hey, you came out to us. That's what matters.

• 25:49Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, we love that. You guys want to do one more? I have one more. You have one more. Go ahead.

• 25:56Speaker 05

  I have one more.

• 25:57Bunnie XO?

  Go ahead. I've been really thinking about a bag of chips this whole frickin' show.

• 26:02Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah? What are you thinking?

• 26:04Bunnie XO?

  Sour cream, but I can't eat the whole thing. I just can't have it.

• 26:07Speaker 01

  I'll share it with you.

• 26:08Bunnie XO?

  One, okay. Have a couple.

• 26:10Speaker 05

  Um, okay, here's a story I probably shouldn't be telling, but it's too funny not to. When I was 14, I had a best friend named Kate. We were inseparable. Um, one day we were hanging out alone at my family's pool, just messing around with the jets. And then the idea hit me. I thought, what if I sit directly on the jet? And not just sit, but like really commit to the bit. Naturally, I did it for the sole purpose of making her laugh. At first, it was funny, too funny. So I stayed there longer than I should have, which was my first mistake. The second I got off, I realized I had made a catastrophic, catastrophic miscalculation. I had to clinch for my life. I'm talking immediate emergency situation.

• 26:54Speaker 05

  I bolted out of the pool, yanked my bikini to the side and proceeded to absolutely destroy the side of my house. No warning, no mercy.

• 27:02Bunnie XO?

  Oh, she gave herself an enema. Damn.

• 27:05Speaker 05

  Oh, wait. Oh, no, there's more. Kate's dying laughing. I'm half laughing, half fighting for my dignity. And here's the worst part. After we finally pulled ourselves together, we went back and did it again.

• 27:18Bunnie XO?

  I think all girls have a jet story.

• 27:23Speaker 05

  First of all, I wasn't rich. My pool didn't have jets.

• 27:26Bunnie XO?

  I had an above ground pool that had jets, okay? We weren't rich either.

• 27:30Speaker 05

  I didn't have jets, but no, I don't have a jet story.

• 27:33Bunnie XO?

  Uh, I do.

• 27:34Speaker 01

  That's unfortunate for you.

• 27:35Bunnie XO?

  Oh, okay. You got a jet story, Bimes?

• 27:37Speaker 01

  I feel like waterish.

• 27:41Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 27:42Bunnie XO?

  Do tell.

• 27:42Speaker 05

  What am I missing out on?

• 27:43Speaker 01

  Oh, no, I was younger. I'm not talking about that.

• 27:47Bunnie XO?

  I can't ever pull anything out of Mimi. She'll say, she'll say yes, and she'll allude to something, but she'll never go into detail.

• 27:54Speaker 01

  My mom watches this.

• 27:56Speaker 05

  My entire family watches this and I say.

• 27:57Speaker 01

  Yeah. Hey, Susan.

• 27:59Speaker 02

  Hi.

• 27:59Bunnie XO?

  Hey, hey, Susan. Um, so I think fucking her giving herself an enema is hilarious. She must have been bearing down on that thing.

• 28:09Speaker 05

  For like a second, like she had to been on there. Is that what an enema does?

• 28:13Bunnie XO?

  Oh, yeah, cleans you up.

• 28:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean it.

• 28:15Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, you could put water up your butt, like mountain spring water up your ass, and that's an enema too, and it'll come out.

• 28:21Speaker 01

  Not just the saline isn't.

• 28:22Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 28:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:24Speaker 02

  Like an oil change.

• 28:25Bunnie XO?

  You could put coffee up your ass.

• 28:27Speaker 01

  I've seen people do coffee enemas.

• 28:28Bunnie XO?

  Put coffee up their ass and do coffee.

• 28:30Speaker 02

  What does that do?

• 28:31Bunnie XO?

  Cleans your whole fucking shit out, man.

• 28:33Speaker 01

  An oil change, yeah.

• 28:34Speaker 02

  Does it like give you the, you wake up?

• 28:36Bunnie XO?

  I don't, I've done it. Um, I can't remember. Did I do one? I think I did one and it made me like fucking cracked out.

• 28:42Speaker 01

  I would imagine it's like putting cocaine in you.

• 28:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, I think I did one. I never stuck anything up my ass.

• 28:46Bunnie XO?

  Kaylee did one.

• 28:48Speaker 05

  I mean.

• 28:50Bunnie XO?

  You've never had an enema?

• 28:51Speaker 05

  But I meant like that, yeah.

• 28:53Bunnie XO?

  Well, you don't have a shitting problem.

• 28:55Speaker 05

  No, I don't.

• 28:55Bunnie XO?

  Until you're constipated and that's your last resort, oof.

• 28:59Speaker 01

  I had a enema when I was giving birth to Cash, after I had Cash, because like, you know, like anesthesia and stuff, you get plugged up really bad and you're not supposed to push afterwards. Tragic.

• 29:09Bunnie XO?

  Oof. Yeah, and I was like, I love a little baby enema, just stick it in there. I did one the other day and I pooped and it was in the shape of a J and I came out.

• 29:19Speaker 01

  Sent a picture, didn't you?

• 29:19Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, I know, I told my husband about it though. He was really proud.

• 29:23Speaker 01

  The amount of poop pictures I've seen.

• 29:25Speaker 05

  From you?

• 29:26Speaker 01

  From you is wild.

• 29:26Speaker 05

  There was one that I literally still can't believe, that one. You know what I'm talking about?

• 29:30Speaker 01

  Your, is it the color?

• 29:31Speaker 05

  That one.

• 29:32Speaker 01

  That one, you saw that one?

• 29:32Speaker 05

  That one was wild.

• 29:34Speaker 01

  That was the craziest, most perfect poop I've ever seen.

• 29:36Speaker 05

  Cut off? I don't know.

• 29:38Bunnie XO?

  It was healthy. I miss, I haven't had one like that since.

• 29:40Speaker 01

  Really?

• 29:41Bunnie XO?

  Uh, that one was.

• 29:42Speaker 05

  You probably don't have to anymore. That cleared your entire system out for a couple of years.

• 29:45Speaker 01

  That gave you some time.

• 29:47Bunnie XO?

  Probably like 20 years of just fucking shit that came out of me. Yeah.

• 29:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, that color was nice.

• 29:52Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. All right, guys, we are out of here. See you next week. Love you. Bye.