Taylor Hill: How to Navigate Emotional Challenges & Ways to Practice Gratitude in Lifes’ Unexpected Hard Times

How does gratitude aid during emotional struggles? How does focusing on positives improve our emotional well-being? Today, let's welcome supermodel, content creator, actor, and philanthropist Taylor Hill. Discovered at the age of 14, Taylor has worked with fashion houses and luxury brands around the globe and has graced the covers of prestigious fashion magazines, including Vogue. Beyond her modeling career, Taylor is the founder of Tate and Taylor, a media content platform and community inspired by her late Labradoodle, Tate. Taylor speaks candidly about her emotional journey with her late Labradoodle, Tate and the profound bond she shared with him, describing how he was more than just a pet – he was a soulmate and a source of unwavering support. She also opens up about the challenges and triumphs of starting her modeling career as a teenager, highlighting the pressures and responsibilities that came with her rapid rise to fame. Inspired by her journey with Tate, Taylor founded Tate and Taylor, a media content platform and community for pets and their humans. She explains the mission behind this venture, which aims to support pet owners and raise awareness about animal welfare. In this interview, you'll learn: How to handle emotional challenges How to manage early career success How to stay fit mentally and physically How to manage grief and loss How to pursue your purpose How to find joy and gratitude everyday Taylor's story is a testament to the strength of the human spirit and the healing power of unconditional love, an inspiring message for anyone facing their own struggles and searching for meaning in their experiences. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 03:50 Earliest Childhood Memory 09:30 Modeling at 14 12:52 Going to School Wasn’t For Me 15:26 Victoria Secret Model 18:18 Audition Process for Models 20:20 Having the Right Team 24:52 Discipline of a VS Model 33:32 VS Comeback 38:55 Experiencing Burnout 42:12 Losing Tate 51:33 The Signs and Symptoms 01:13:01 Healing From Losing Your Pet 01:19:40 Pregnancy and Miscarriage 01:44:52 Alone Time While Grieving 01:53:02 Emotional Support From Your Partner 02:04:01 Everyone’s Journey is Different 02:10:39 Building the Tate and Taylor Brand 02:20:52 A Brand for a Cause 02:24:48 Taylor on Final Five Episode Resources: Taylor Hill | Instagram Taylor Hill | Facebook Taylor Hill | TikTok Tate & Taylor See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Mazda. Confidence isn't something Mazda finds, it's something they practise. That's the thinking behind every Mazda. With proactive safety features designed to help keep you more aware, more connected and more engaged with the road ahead. It's why Mazda has been named Consumer Reports' safest new car brand and has won more 2026 IIHS Top Safety Pick Plus Awards than any other car brand as of July 2026. Visit www.iihs.org to learn more. A lot can happen when an accident doesn't. Visit MazdaUSA.com to learn more. Consumer Reports does not endorse products or services. This episode is brought to you by Orange Theory Fitness.

• 0:43Jay Shetty?

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• 1:26Jay Shetty?

  Catch up on work with wifi, grab a snack at the cafe car or just sit back and enjoy your favourite podcast. Choose a cellar or northeast regional and get there without the stress of getting there. Visit amtrak.com to plan your next trip.

• 1:42Speaker 01

  And I tried out for the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. I wanted to try out and I wanted to do this, so I went and I auditioned for it. And when I booked it, I was shocked.

• 1:52Speaker 02

  She's made a huge splash in the fashion industry.

• 1:54Speaker 03

  Victoria's Secret Angel, Taylor Kim.

• 1:57Jay Shetty?

  Let's talk about the grief of losing a friend.

• 2:02Speaker 01

  I'm looking at him and I'm asking him, like, if you, if you need to go, like, please let me know. Like, I will let you go.

• 2:12Jay Shetty?

  Hey everyone, I've got some huge news to share with you. In the last 90 days, 79.4% of our audience came from viewers and listeners that are not subscribed to this channel. There's research that shows that if you want to create a habit, make it easy to access. By hitting the subscribe button, you're creating a habit of learning how to be happier, healthier, and more healed. This would also mean the absolute world to me and help us make better, bigger, brighter content for you and the world. Subscribe right now.

• 2:55Jay Shetty?

  Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health and wellness podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every one of you that come back every week to listen, learn, and grow. Now you know our mission here is to help the world, help you become happier, healthier, and more healed. And the way we do that is by trying to introduce you to people who can help you feel seen, heard, and understood. And I want you to be able to relate to the experiences, the challenges, the journeys that our audience and our guests go on. And today, I'm so excited, I'm so grateful, and I'm really honoured to be having this conversation. I've been really looking forward to this. I've been speaking to so many friends who've been going through different challenges.

• 3:35Jay Shetty?

  And I really believe that this episode is going to be a powerful and empowering one for each and every one of you. Today's guest is Taylor Hill, supermodel, content creator, actor, and philanthropist. Taylor was discovered at the age of 14, and Taylor has worked with fashion houses and luxury brands around the world and graced the covers of many of the biggest fashion magazines, including Vogue and many, many more. Taylor's life was forever changed when she became mum to her late labradoodle, Tate. Their special bond together inspired Taylor to create Tate and Taylor, a rapidly growing media content platform and community for pets and their humans. Today, we dive into Tate and Taylor's story. Please welcome to the show, Taylor Hill.

• 4:21Speaker 01

  Hello.

• 4:23Jay Shetty?

  Taylor, thank you for being here.

• 4:24Speaker 01

  Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited.

• 4:27Jay Shetty?

  I'm so honestly grateful to have you here and even the few moments, we've probably spent actually about half an hour chatting even before we started recording and in that moment, I can already tell I completely am in sync with your energy and it's been so wonderful spending this time with you already.

• 4:42Speaker 01

  I'm so excited. I'm also kind of nervous. I mean, this is only, I think like my second podcast I've ever done. So I'm, I'm happy that, you know, I get to be here and I get to talk to you. You're amazing. And I've obviously listened before and it's, it's a special, it's a special listen. So thanks for letting me come and talk.

• 5:01Jay Shetty?

  Oh no. Well, thank you for trusting us and thank you for being here. But let's dive straight into it. I want to ask you, I feel like you're someone who's had such an iconic career. You are extremely well known. You're brilliant and one of the best at what you do across the world. Yet we, we may not know so much about you and, and that I had so much curiosity when, when your name came up and I was like, yeah, I know exactly what that is, but I want to learn. And so I want to start off by asking you, what would you say is your earliest childhood memory that you feel has defined who you are today?

• 5:39Speaker 01

  My first memory ever is my, I think it was my third birthday party. I, so I was born in Chicago and I lived there until I was probably about five years old. And then I moved to Colorado and that's like my home and where I am from in my head. Cause I don't really remember Chicago, but I remember being in our backyard there and we had this little red house. And it was my birthday party and all of the kids in our neighborhood were over and we were having a party. And I had a pink Barbie cake and I specifically remember the candle was Barbie. Like it was a very intricate candle and.

• 6:23Speaker 01

  Everyone's singing happy birthday and then I'm supposed to blow out the candles and then my friend, he blew the candles out before I could and I got so upset and I was very emotional and I was like kind of crying and I got so mad and I was like, why would you do that? Oh my gosh, like I was supposed to do that. And then my mom's like, it's okay, we can, you know, we'll light the candle again and then you can blow out the candle. And I was like, well, it's not the same. He took my wish. Like, I was heartbroken. And I think if that says anything about me, it's just that I'm, I'm very emotional. And I, I just, sometimes when people do things that aren't so nice to others, I sometimes don't understand. I'm like, why? Why did you do that? So that's one of my very first,

• 7:07Speaker 01

  first memories. But I think something that kind of helped like maybe define who I was when, from a child, I would say, is sports. I, I was a gymnast from, from when I was nine. I did ballet from when I was six and then I grew up snowboarding. And I think for me, being athletic and being active really helped shape who I am because I've been, you know, I've been modeling for 14 years. I was scouted at 14. And I love my job and I love working and I, I have such a passion and a drive for it. And I think I have such

• 7:50Speaker 01

  a drive because of being in sports my whole life. And honestly, being a gymnast, not a, not a very good gymnast, but I loved it. I had so much fun doing it, even though I wasn't, my mom was like, this girl, she's not going to the Olympics. That was understood. But, you know, she encouraged me to do it anyway and she knew I had fun. And, you know, it gives you sort of this sense of structure and, you know, healthy competition is always a little bit nice. And I love the sport of gymnastics because it's very demanding, in a sense. And it challenges you to always be better, you know, the sort of motto of gymnastics or what my Perception of it was from doing is, you know, strive to be better, strive for perfection,

• 8:35Speaker 01

  perfect 10, all that stuff. You'll never get there. You'll never, well, some people do, but I was never gonna be a perfect 10, let's be honest. But, you know, having the drive to like, always do better, always, you know, perfect this trick, perfect that, flip, do this, do that, and, you know, push myself. It was, and push myself in something I enjoyed doing, kind of gave me the, I have a similar headspace in my modeling career, just because I love doing it and I, I love my job and I just wanna like, I just wanna keep doing it, you know? So I, I think that's two things about me.

• 9:09Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, those are great answers. Are you, do you still know the person who blew that candle out?

• 9:14Speaker 01

  I do, yes. I do. I, I hadn't seen, I haven't seen him in forever, but I did go back home to my, where I was born, a couple of times, like throughout my childhood, my, my godparents and my, my mom and dad's best friends, they still lived there and their children were our childhood best friends. So we would spend summers together and everything and some summers I would go back to Chicago and like see them and all that and see the kids in the neighborhood. So I did see this boy multiple times and he was a really good friend. It was very innocent, you know? We were only maybe three years old, so he didn't know what he was doing either, but I just didn't understand. I was like-

• 9:51Jay Shetty?

  Does he realize now what a big moment?

• 9:53Speaker 01

  He probably doesn't even remember that he did that, but I do. And he, he probably doesn't even know I'm talking about him, but I'm not gonna say his name, but we know.

• 10:03Jay Shetty?

  Well, how was that like when the Barbie movie came out? Was that like, has Barbie always remained an idol in your life since that day or not really?

• 10:09Speaker 01

  You know, I, I loved, I loved Barbie. I have two sisters and I, I actually have three siblings, so I have an older sister, a younger sister and a younger brother. And we're all very close in age. We're all about, you know, roughly one year apart from each other. So, growing up, we loved playing dress up, we loved Barbie, we loved toys, we loved, you know, Polly Pockets, we loved little, my little pet shop, you know, we had all of those things, we loved all of that. And I loved the Barbie movie. I thought it was great and I thought it was really profound and it touched on a lot of things in a really interesting and kind of a lighthearted way. So, yeah, I had a, I had a childhood connection to Barbie for sure. So, I loved her. And then when the candle was blown out, I was, I was like, how could you do that?

• 10:56Jay Shetty?

  I can see it still affects you.

• 10:58Speaker 01

  Still sad, I know.

• 11:00Jay Shetty?

  What was it like, you said, of course, you got scouted at fourteen. What was it like, you have siblings, I'm assuming they weren't all working at fourteen. And so when you start working at fourteen, which is a very young age, first of all, what does working at fourteen as a model look like? Like, what are the hours, what are the commitments, do you drop out of school? And then, how do your siblings react to it? How do your parents react to it? Like, what does it look like? Because I feel, yeah, they're not working, they're not getting paid, they're not traveling.

• 11:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was interesting. I mean, so, my mom was a hairdresser, so she worked in a salon and cut hair. And, you know, after having all four of us, she obviously was like, I can't stand on my feet all day and take care of four young children under the age of five, so we're not gonna do that anymore. And she became a stay-at-home mother, which I'm so grateful to have had my mom. And that's a, that's a job, it's work. And she was amazing at it. And, you know, when I was scouted and I started traveling and, you know, working as a model, it, it meant that, you know, I went to New York, I signed with IMG when I was fourteen, and from there, I went everywhere. You know, I, I traveled the world at, you know, fourteen years old.

• 12:12Speaker 01

  And my mom came with me everywhere I went. You know, I did Paris Fashion Weeks, I did New York Fashion Week, I went to Australia, and I lived there for a month or two, you know, Milan, all those places. And she came with me everywhere. And I definitely wouldn't be where I am if it wasn't for my mom and her support. And I know it was a difficult thing for even her to navigate. She had three other children at home, and, you know, we were all trying to figure out how we were gonna do this. My grandpa was a huge help. He, you know, would come with me places as well, and he would live with me places. He lived with me in L.A. for a bit, he traveled with me. And then, when my older sister was eighteen, she would travel with me, and she would live

• 12:55Speaker 01

  with me, which wasn't much help, because she was eighteen and I was seventeen. You can imagine how fun that was for us to do. But, you know, my mom always wanted to make sure I had somebody with me, who was just like, another set of eyes, making sure I was good. And I, you know, I- I could take care of myself and she made sure to teach me how to, you know, read signs in an airport and this is what this means, this is how you get to your gate and this is what you, how you do this and, you know, don't take a car ride from a stranger, you know, so, um, she was really, really good at making sure I was able to do all of that. Um, and then my siblings, you know, I think it was really, we, we just didn't know, you know, you don't know what you don't know and I think

• 13:36Speaker 01

  we didn't really know any better and it better and it was like, oh, well, this is Taylor's doing this, so this is what she does now. Um, and they were, you know, nothing changed, I think for them because they didn't ever see me differently. They were just like, well, Taylor goes to work instead of goes to school, so whatever, you know, and I think because we were all a similar age, they did have an understanding of what I was doing, you know, it's not like they were, you know, really young and didn't get it or much older than me and didn't understand why I didn't want to go to school or didn't go back to college and stuff. They were kind of, you know, accepting of it. And my older sister now is a photographer and a content creator herself, so she really got it, you know, she gets it and she, she saw what I wanted to do and, you know, that I loved what I was doing, so she was

• 14:21Speaker 01

  really helpful and supportive of that. So, yeah, it was, it was definitely interesting. I look back on it and I'm like, oh, wow, how did we do that? I don't know. We just kind of did it, you know?

• 14:32Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 14:32Speaker 01

  Um.

• 14:33Jay Shetty?

  At the time, was it exciting or was it scary? Or what parts were exciting and what parts were scary?

• 14:37Speaker 01

  I was really excited just because I, I wasn't very good at school and I didn't love being in school. I was really, um, distracted, daydreaming, kind of, didn't pay attention very well, like didn't learn things very easily, not very good at math. Um, and I remember the first time being on a set and feeling so excited because I was like, oh, my God, I can do this instead. And once I started booking more and more jobs and school became more and more difficult to keep up with. You know, we looked into so many different options. I did do homeschooling for a little bit.

• 15:21Speaker 01

  And ultimately, that was still really difficult based off of how much I was working. Because you know, you have to put in at least five to six hours a day. Even on online school, you know, because you have to commit an hour or so for each class. I was in different time zones, getting one-on-one time with my teachers to explain something to me was very difficult. So, you know, I tried to go back to regular high school, but you know, in Colorado, they don't have these child entertainment laws like they do in California. There was no structure for me to be able to do both. So ultimately, I dropped out of high school and I got my GED instead. And I just, I left school totally at 15 and started full-time modeling at 15.

• 16:04Speaker 01

  And to me, it was really exciting because I felt like I, all I would think about while I was in school was, I can't wait to get out of here. Stay in school, you know what I mean? Don't do what I do. No, I'm just kidding. Um, I do value school. I think education is really important. But I do think that it's not always for everyone and people learn differently. And I feel like I went to sort of a school of life, I guess you could say. I kind of learned by doing and by seeing the world. So I have a different education than what academia maybe teaches you. So I am grateful that I got to experience some school, obviously, like and a normal childhood to an extent until about 15.

• 16:46Speaker 01

  But I'm grateful I started, I left and I was done and doing what I was doing by 15. I felt like, okay, this is it. This is what I'm supposed to be doing. So I was just ecstatic. I was just, I was where I was meant to be, you know?

• 17:00Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's amazing hearing your passion and drive. Like after all these years, you said, you've been modeling for 14 years and I can feel like it's still this energizing feeling. What was that transition like from that to becoming a Victoria's Secret model? Like what is that journey like? Like what is that arc like? Like how hard is it to move from? Paris Fashion Week and New York Fashion Week and doing runways and then going to actually be a Victoria's Secret model at the time.

• 17:25Speaker 01

  It was really interesting because, you know, at that time, Victoria's Secret was the end all be all, you know what I mean? It was not to everyone, but to a lot of models, it was, oh, my gosh, you know, the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. It gave you more of a mainstream name, I guess. You were more, I guess, in the the street, the the pulse of pop culture, I guess. If you were a Victoria's Secret model, some of the most famous models in the world were Victoria's Secret models. You know, you know, Gisele Bundchen is like one of my favorites. And I love her and look up to her. She's why I went to IMG because I was like, Gisele Bundchen is at IMG. At the time, she was. I don't think she still is. But when I signed with them, she was still with them. So I was like, I want to be where she is.

• 18:08Speaker 01

  And Karlie Kloss is with IMG and I wanted to be where she was. So I I just, I feel like when I went from doing, you know, fashion and more commercial brands, like I did shoot a lot of for for H and M and Forever 21. And some like some of these younger, maybe fashion lines that were more for, you know, teenagers like myself. So I did work a lot with brands like that. And then kind of when I turned 18, I was switching into more of, you know, adult modeling, which is so crazy because I was still so young, 18 years old. And I tried out for the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show just because, you know, because why not? Everybody wants to do it. I wanted to try out and I wanted to do this. So I went and I auditioned for it.

• 18:53Speaker 01

  And when I booked it, I was shocked because I really didn't think that I would get it on the first time and on the first audition, because so many people go back multiple, multiple, multiple times. But probably because I'd had, you know, a fashion career and had been on runways since I was 14, I was able to sort of be in the room and kind of maybe know a little bit more about what was happening. Whereas I feel like some girls start modeling at 18, 16, 18, you know, so they're still new and newer. And I, even though I was still really young, I had been working for four years. So I I felt ready for it and I was excited for it. And when I booked it, I was shocked and I I was like, I can't believe I'm here right now.

• 19:37Speaker 01

  No way this is happening. What? So that was really. Scary was, scary was booking it. I was like, oh, oh, God, okay. All right, this is happening. But it was an amazing thing for my career and I'm really grateful for it. And I'm grateful, you know, that I got to do that because I, I wouldn't be sitting here if I hadn't, you know? So I'm, I'm grateful for it for sure. I keep saying that, but I am.

• 19:59Jay Shetty?

  No, I, I believe it. How many steps was that audition process? Like, what does that look like in terms of getting there?

• 20:06Speaker 01

  It's, well.

• 20:07Jay Shetty?

  And what is it like? Like, what are you doing?

• 20:09Speaker 01

  I mean, it was like 10 years ago now, so I have to try and remember what I did. But I'm pretty sure what happened was I, so I knew the casting director who was casting for the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. He was casting some of the other shows that I'd walked in before, like Michael Kors and, you know, a couple of the other New York shows, as well as shows in Milan and Paris. So I was familiar with him. And for the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, you go to a pre-casting with him and his casting team. And, you know, you do the walk, they record you, they film you, they ask you questions. Where are you from? How old are you? What agency are you with? So it's just a little bit of your personality or the way you talk on video. And then they take your picture.

• 20:51Speaker 01

  And then I guess they probably take it back to the Victoria's Secret internal casting team that also does show casting. Cause when you get into the main room at the Victoria's Secret headquarters, there's five or six people at a table in front of you and then five or six people behind them, sitting in chairs. And they all have notepads and, you know, there's a big camera and they're filming you. And, um, you know, you do the whole like walk thing and they ask you to do it again and do that. So I did a pre-casting with the casting director directly. And then I went back in for a callback, which was the main casting. So they had probably seen my tape and seen my pre-casting video and thought, okay, let's request her for our main casting. So I went into that.

• 21:36Speaker 01

  And then, you know, sometimes there's another one and there's another callback and, you know, another casting you have to do, but I was working in L A, so I went to my casting and got on a flight and landed in L A and got a call that I booked the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. So that's what I did. That's how it happened to me.

• 21:55Jay Shetty?

  Useful to know. I, I feel like we, it's, it's like we need a picture in, right? Like, because if you've never done it, you just don't know what the process looks like. And you mentioned something that I've heard a lot of models talk about how they went from like teen modeling to adult modeling and also when you're still a teen. And like, how was that process for you? Because I've heard other people describe it as like, it was uncomfortable where certain poses or certain clothes or whatever. It was like, I've never worn something like this. Or, did you feel that? Or was it not like that for you? Was it just kind of like you enjoyed it? It was fun?

• 22:25Speaker 01

  No, I didn't, I didn't feel like that because I, I was just happy to be there. I was like, I'm just happy to be here. Also, I love it. Like, I love, I loved playing dress up when I was a kid and I do it for a living. So like, how can I not be just having the best time ever, you know? Trying on all these clothes, doing all these things. Also, I did dance, wasn't very good at it, but I loved it and I loved dancing and I loved gymnastics and I love moving. And, you know, if you're on the right set and you have the right team around you and, you know, a lot of the, the Victoria's Secret team from that time, I've known them for a really long time and I have worked with a lot of the photographers in the past and, you know, it felt like a safe space and my memory and my interpretation of that environment

• 23:08Speaker 01

  was that I was safe. So I felt comfortable and I was just like, oh, this is what we're doing now. And I, I had the best time doing it. So for me, I, I never felt afraid to do anything. So I just was so excited, I guess. Or maybe I was just young. I was like, whoa! I don't know. Maybe a bit of both, you know? So I, I don't, I don't know.

• 23:29Jay Shetty?

  No, I love, I love hearing that.

• 23:30Speaker 01

  I never felt, I never, I know some people do feel that and that's Some I have felt like that for sure, definitely, but not maybe not in those instances and maybe not at that time, just because a combination of, you know, excitement, you know, youth, never having that experience before, being excited to be there. So it kind of wiped away the fear a little bit. And maybe I was a little delusional and kind of was like, whoa, this is so cool. You know, it's like rose colored glasses a little bit, but I've I've been in scenarios where I'm like, yeah, maybe not. So, you know.

• 24:02Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, no, I I think, I mean, I love hearing that. I think for me, I mean, I moved to LA much later in life, but even for me, like, as soon as I came to the United States, to me, being in the US is like living in a movie because we grew up watching American television in London.

• 24:18Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 24:18Jay Shetty?

  And so when I first landed in New York, I I'd visited maybe once or twice in my teens with family. But I remember moving and like, even when I saw like a yellow school bus, or I saw like a cop car or NYPD or whatever, like to me, it's like, I've only ever seen that in a TV show or a movie. And so it's really fascinating. And then you see the Empire State. And then when I moved to LA, it was the same thing. It was, wait a minute, even now, when I'm driving down the streets and there's palm trees on either side, I'm like, I'm on vacation because, yeah, in my head, like, that's such a, it's such a alien experience.

• 24:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:50Jay Shetty?

  Having grown up in London, that, you know, living in LA. So I kind of have some of that youthful enthusiasm around some of these things too, because it reminds me of a time when I used to watch TV religiously and and what I grew up on. So I I can resonate with that feeling.

• 25:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:07Jay Shetty?

  Whereas someone will always be like, oh, don't you think LA is like this or New York's like this? I'm like, to me, it just reminds me of what I saw in the movies.

• 25:12Speaker 01

  You're just like, wow, I can't believe I get to be here.

• 25:14Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, exactly. I can't believe I never imagined in a million years that my life would look this way.

• 25:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:19Jay Shetty?

  And so I'm just taking it all in.

• 25:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:21Jay Shetty?

  As opposed to seeing gaps and holes in it or whatever else it may be.

• 25:25Speaker 01

  Yeah. There's days where I see gaps and holes, but my overarching goal and perspective is to be. I'm in awe, you know, and I am still in awe and I can't believe I'm even sitting here right now. I'm like, this is crazy. So, you know, it's just, I definitely, that's just, I think my natural sort of energy and where I sit with things is just, wow, I'm here. Whoa, how did I get here? And, you know, like all humans do, every day is different. So there's definitely times where I'm just like, whoa, this is, you know, I don't like this. I don't like this feeling or what's happening here and what's going on there. So there's definitely both. Like I, I don't want, you know, the perception of me to feel like she just, whatever.

• 26:08Speaker 01

  She has no idea what's going on. She's in a bubble. Like, and I'm just, no, I just feel, I just feel grateful. And I think the most important emotion for me to feel daily is, is gratitude. So just, I try to remind myself where I'm at and where I came from and just be grateful to be here. So that's the, my genuine consensus on things.

• 26:30Jay Shetty?

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• 27:11Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, you obviously have a hard work ethic and a drive, which is what you were talking about with sports and that discipline. Walk us through the discipline of being a Victoria's Secret model, like the diet, the workout, the plan, the day, like the hour. What does that look like? Because I think often, again, that's another thing you don't ever see.

• 27:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:29Jay Shetty?

  So you don't really know.

• 27:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's, so when I first started doing Victoria's Secret, I was very young and I was very lucky because I didn't have to work out that hard and I, you know, didn't have to diet because I was 18 and, you know, six feet tall. So, you know, you can imagine how, um, Lucky I was in terms of that sort of stuff. But then obviously, as I was starting to grow up and mature as a woman in that arena, I I did have to start working out. You know, there was an air, there was a time where I was like, OK, well, if I want to be in the best shape of my life for this one really important day, then I'm going to take it, I'm going to step it up a notch. So there was some preparation. Probably when I was like 21 to 22, I started,

• 28:13Speaker 01

  you know, amping it up in terms of like the exercise and diet and stuff like that when we we were training for the show. But, you know, there was such a, sometimes there's such a negative connotation in terms of talking about those things. Um, because I think a lot of people have maybe an unhealthy perspective of it because Victoria's Secret wasn't inclusive and it wasn't a welcome space for everybody, you know? It was welcome for, you know, women who were six feet tall and naturally slim. And, you know, and then they were really fit on top of that. So if you're an outsider looking in, it looks like a really, well, not everybody looks like that. And I don't see myself there. Yeah, fair enough. And like, sometimes even I didn't see myself there, you know?

• 28:57Speaker 01

  So I had to train hard to get there. Um, but, you know, I always tried to be um, as healthy as I could with it and, you know, keep a positive outlook on it. For me personally, in my journey and like how I went about training for the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, I sort of looked at it like maybe an athlete would. I'm not an athlete, obviously, but, you know, the level of training that I would do and the diets I would be on. If a footballer came in and, you know, started talking about his diet, people would accept it, I think, because he is an athlete. Um, but, you know, if I come in and say how I was working out and what I was eating, because I'm a six foot tall, naturally slim woman, I think it could be, you know, taken negatively and misconstrued.

• 29:42Speaker 01

  But I just want to assure people that, you know, I did do it healthy. Like, I was very healthy when I was doing it. This is my natural physique. I know that everybody doesn't look like this and not everybody can relate to that. And that's, I I hear you and I see you and I hope you, you know, don't take anything that I say and misinterpret it and say like, to look like her, I have to do this. No, don't do that, you know, do what you need to do and for you and your body. Um, and when I was training for that, I, I did what I needed to do for my body. So I can get into that. Um, I, I did a lot of like HIIT cardio training, so I had a personal trainer who's amazing. Um, Christina, she's, she's near and dear to my heart. She's so intelligent.

• 30:26Speaker 01

  She has, you know, a nutrition background as well. So she was making sure that I was eating the amount of food I should be eating for the exercise that I was doing. Um, and so we sort of did like a mix of things. It was weightlifting. I, I love weightlifting. It's really fun. I also, I'm a crazy person, like I love exercise. I love fitness. I like working out. It's like, it's really, it's good for my mental health. When I work out, I work out because I want to do it for my mind, not for how my body looks. Um, so, but for the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, obviously I was training for a reason. So I, I did care about, you know, muscle definition and all that fun stuff. Um, so we did like, you know, weight training, weightlifting.

• 31:06Speaker 01

  Um, you know, it would be like interval, like we would, you know, sprint on a treadmill and then hold a plank, kind of stuff like that. And I really liked that type of workout because it was, it was, you know, high energy and going from one thing to the next thing. And it was challenging and it kind of sort of reminded me of maybe my gymnastics background and the sports I'd done before. Where they're a little bit more dynamic and you're moving around a lot. Um, and then, you know, for diet, I would eat pretty healthy, just, um, I would eat like, I would make sure I was gluten free though. Just because I think sometimes gluten can respond in your body in a negative way. So some, I know some people are gluten free around the VS show, be gluten free for about a month. No alcohol for about a month and a half or so, uh, leading up to the show day.

• 31:50Speaker 01

  Just because alcohol is never going to help you if you're trying to like, you know, gain muscle weight. So that was my sort of goal was muscle, not never managing or watching my weight. Um, it was more just about, you know, making sure I was eating lean proteins. I had like protein shakes in the morning. I would have a gluten free bagel. I would have eggs, vegetables. I ate chicken breast. I ate sweet potato. I ate sushi rice, fish. I ate all kinds of things like that and making sure that it was enough based off of what the kind of exercise I was doing. So the trainer that would work with me on my fitness routine, she also worked with me on the food I was consuming.

• 32:32Speaker 01

  Hey, need to make sure you're consuming before you see me, you need to eat this amount. And then we come and we're going to work out and we're going to do this. And then you go home and you have this protein shake. So we know you're getting the right nutrients that you need to fuel your body. So, yeah, hopefully.

• 32:46Jay Shetty?

  Very, yeah, that was very in depth. I love it. Yeah, no, and I asked Taylor, I genuinely asked because I, I do think it's an interesting thing around the discipline. And that's why I asked it from that perspective because to me, the discipline, the work ethic, the, you know, the focus, and, and I'm so happy that it was a healthy journey for you. And I think we're taking into account the fact that it may not be a healthy journey for everyone.

• 33:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:08Jay Shetty?

  We've recognized that, that it can cause challenges for others.

• 33:11Speaker 01

  Yeah. And I mean, I know that time too, it was difficult for so many, for women watching. And I know like the expectation that was put on women to look, look a certain way to, I never want to feel like maybe I was a part of it and perpetuating that just because of the way it was being presented, maybe that I was just like, I was just happy to be there again. I was just like, whoa, I'm so excited to get to be here. Um, but I know what it meant to, to society. I know what, what people perceived it as for sure. So I do take that into account and I know it's, it's a lot. And I hope people are, can maybe listen to, to me and my perspective and know like, I was trying to be, I was really healthy in the way that I was trying to do this and go about this. And I never want to like perpetuate that somebody should do something or, you know,

• 33:55Speaker 01

  work out a certain way to, to look like a Victoria's Secret model because, you know, it's, that's not fair and not everybody looks like, needs to look like that. That's not what's beautiful, you know? Beauty is so much more than what people were trying to make us believe it was at that time, so. Just wanted to put that out there.

• 34:12Jay Shetty?

  No, I'm glad you clarified that. I actually think you made a really interesting point, though. I think what's interesting, for example, like, I love watching basketball. I am, I have nowhere near the physique of any basketball player on the planet. There's no one my size who plays basketball in high physique, whatever else it may be. And if you saw, I don't play basketball, but if I was to try and play basketball. When I was younger, I was great at a three pointer because I didn't need to like be anyone or whatever. But it's, I would never be expected to do what someone does on the court.

• 34:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:44Jay Shetty?

  It's really interesting how the industry is then projected onto people, thinking they have to be that. Whereas I can watch basketball, knowing I never have to be there.

• 34:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:52Jay Shetty?

  And I think that's the part which is so interesting, that it's almost like a interesting pressure that if it becomes about beauty.

• 34:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:00Jay Shetty?

  It, it sets an unfair standard, but if it's about sports, like you just said, in one sense, you were training yourself like an athlete.

• 35:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:06Jay Shetty?

  But we know we, I know I can't be Tom Brady, or I know I can't be LeBron James.

• 35:11Speaker 01

  Me neither.

• 35:11Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, and, and I'm okay about that.

• 35:13Speaker 01

  I also can't be Adriana Lima, and because that woman was amazing. And Gisele, I mean, they, they trained so much harder than even me. I, I did my best, but, but you know, I, I, I did what I knew I was comfortable and able and capable of doing, but they're them and they're their own person and they trained in their own way. And I did it my way too, so.

• 35:35Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, no, no, no. And, and I, I hope anyone who's listening, like, the reason why I wanted to open up that conversation is because it's also interesting to hear from someone who just loves what they do, is excited about it. And then naturally, there's this bigger thing going on in society and culture and industry. And it's like, you might just be doing your thing and not know at a time when, you know, you don't realize it. How did you feel about when it stopped? And now, of course, we know it's coming back.

• 35:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:00Jay Shetty?

  The plan is to be more inclusive.

• 36:01Speaker 01

  I'm really glad that it's coming back in a different way and from a different lens and a different perspective. Because I think, you know, I'm, I'm so happy. I still work with Victoria's Secret and I'm, you know, I've been a part of the brand for 10 years. And I've seen the shift that they've made and the changes that they're trying to make. And it's, to me, it's.

• 36:22Speaker 01

  A little relaxing, you know, a bit of a breath of fresh air because now I'm at a different phase in my life where, you know, maybe I don't want to work out like that anymore. You know what I mean? When I was younger and, you know, it was exciting to do so, then sure, I could definitely, I was, let's do this. But, you know, ten years later and also I haven't done that show in how many years now? How long has it been since the last one, you know? So five years, maybe, maybe four, maybe more, I don't know. You know, I, I, I feel when it comes back, I, I'm excited that it's going to be so, so different, but also I, I hope that we can still maintain some of the, the fun, some

• 37:05Speaker 01

  of the glamour, some of the beauty, because I think reclaiming it for ourselves as women is really important because, you know, if you want to feel sexy and you want to be sexy, I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but you want to do it for yourself, not for, and not for the objectification of what men want, you know? So, and I think that's the difference now, and I think, you know, that's definitely the goal with the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show coming back is to make sure that women are doing it, you know? We're comfortable. They ask me, you know, what wings would you want to wear and are you excited about doing this? And, you know, what do you want to see when the show comes back? And I really appreciate that, you know? I value that they're asking how I feel and, you know, what I would like to see as a woman

• 37:49Speaker 01

  doing it, as a woman who's done it before and, you know, will probably do it again. So, um, I'm just, I'm excited that it's going to be very different and I hope that it can be perceived in a way that's, you know, not setting an unrealistic beauty standard because that's what it, a hundred percent what it was. And, you know, maybe I was, maybe some of that, like, expectation was put on me, but I didn't realize it at the time because I was so young, you know? I didn't, you don't, again, you don't know what you don't know. And now that I'm twenty eight, you know, ten years later from my first show, if I look back on my first show, it's kind of like, I'm sure so many women who were at that show felt such an intense pressure to look a certain way and work out a certain way.

• 38:33Speaker 01

  And that's probably why some people had an unhealthy relationship with it. And maybe just the timing of my age and where I was at and where my headspace was at, I got really lucky that I didn't feel any of those things, but that doesn't mean it still wasn't happening for other people. And that doesn't mean that it didn't make society or other women watching it feel that way. So like, you know, I just, I hope that.

• 38:55Jay Shetty?

  Really well said.

• 38:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, there's definitely both. They could both sit with, sit with me, so.

• 38:59Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Everyone who's listening or watching, I can definitely, I definitely hear what you're saying and I can see how much of a, it's such a complicated, complex, layered topic, when it's personal but collective.

• 39:10Speaker 01

  It's hard to kind of verbalize and talk about something because it is very complex. So how do I put that into words? But I, I, I do see both and, and they, it's weird, two things can be true at the same time. You know what I mean? Sometimes emotions are parallel and they're really just happening. One's happening here and one is also happening and you're going on the same path and you're going to the same place. And you're feeling two different things at the exact same time. So I, I look back on it and I have new emotions that sit alongside the old ones and the joy and like the wow that I felt there. But then I can see how everything happened and I can see the heaviness and I can understand, like, I see where maybe by me talking so positively about it makes other people feel

• 39:52Speaker 01

  a negative way. Like I, I would never want to make somebody feel like that. So I have to acknowledge that and be like, okay, I, I know, I see now, we like, we've, we were in, like, we were in the early two thousands, we were in this bubble of this thing and it popped and now we can see clearly and I see it. So I get it. But, you know, also if I'm going to talk about my personal experience while I was in it, it was, I did have a great time and I, I personally went about it in what I feel like was as healthy as I could possibly be. Like, trust me, I was eating, I was working out, I was doing, I was doing all the things like I should be doing to make sure that I'm not, you know. Being unhealthy and having like a negative thing that was happening in my mind and my body, so.

• 40:33Jay Shetty?

  Well, I really appreciate that kind of the way you've presented that because I think there's so much truth to it. And I think if anything, it helps us become more aware of, hey, let's try and be aware of bubbles. But by the nature of a bubble, you're not aware of it until it pops. And so when it pops, then we all become aware of it and then all of a sudden, so it's almost like we've got to give. We've got to give ourselves grace, we've got to give others grace, we've got to give everyone time and space to kind of understand and grow and rise together.

• 41:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:05Jay Shetty?

  Because, and, and this doesn't just apply to the beauty industry or the modeling industry, this applies to so many industries. Across the world where I think there's a need for collective grace on both sides and then.

• 41:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:17Jay Shetty?

  And then rising together and, and I love, and I completely agree with you. I think you're allowed to have your own experience. I, I almost think about it sometimes to do with entrepreneurship too, like. A lot of people will be like entrepreneurship is really tough, it's really hard work and there's the hustle culture of. You have to work eighteen hours a day and you have to do this and you have to do that. And I always say to people like, if I'm completely honest, for the first two years of my career, three years of my career, I did work eighteen hours a day. And I'm really happy I did, like it was amazing and I'm really grateful and yes, some parts of it were unhealthy. But it, it allowed me to get to where I wanted to get to in order to put things in place to be more healthy. And that's my personal experience of it and that's not right or wrong or. The best way or the worst way, it's just how it's worked for me.

• 42:03Jay Shetty?

  And, and you could look at that and be like, oh, well eighteen hours is a hustle culture and there's no balance and I'm like, but it's. It's each of us have got to find.

• 42:12Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 42:12Jay Shetty?

  What's comfortable and natural for us and you're allowed to have your own experience and also recognize that there's negatives within it.

• 42:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, because you, you know, you're working those eighteen hour days and. When you realize, well, maybe I shouldn't be doing that, or you have maybe this realization of. Maybe I should have more balance in my life. Maybe I should do this. Oh, okay, like then you can maybe fix it and grow from it and change and not do that anymore. But it doesn't mean that when you were doing it, you were, you know, having a terrible time. Maybe you were having fun and you were just excited that you get to do this work and all that stuff. And then you can look back on it and be like, whoa, I was actually some more overwhelmed than I thought I was. Oh, okay, like that's I that's what that was. Cause sometimes you feel these things and some new emotions that you've never felt before. And you can't pinpoint what it is exactly until you hear somebody else say it.

• 43:00Speaker 01

  Or there's a new topic of discussion where people are like, do you guys ever feel this? And then you're like, I do feel that. What is that? And then you discover, oh, it's burnout. And you're like, oh, see, there was never a word for it before. That's what that is. So it's just like acknowledging and recognizing something and then being like, okay, well, we're not going to do that anymore. But I did do it. So, you know, we're not going to do that.

• 43:22Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's so true. I mean, I, I think about that. When I was young, I used to have certain physical sensations or experiences in my, in my heart space, in my chest space. And I would go to the doctors, I would tell my mom and we'd go get checked out. The doctors had no clue. They were like, you're absolutely fine.

• 43:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:37Jay Shetty?

  And now I look back and I'm like, oh, I had anxiety. Oh, I had panic attacks. I had no idea. And no one in my, no one ever used that language. I saw multiple doctors. No one ever said it to me.

• 43:46Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 43:47Jay Shetty?

  And so I just moved on with life and got on with it and became better at dealing with it. And now I look back and I'm like, oh, now there's a word for it. And now we can label it and talk about it, but I didn't know then. And there's been definitely times in my life where I've been in denial, that I've been in stress or burnout. And then I look back and I'm like, oh, now I can notice it. But at that time, I just needed to push through or whatever it may be. But I've been talking about this and talking about relate relevant emotional experiences. I was talking to you about my friend earlier and you were talking to me about the experience you went through. You shared this on social media. You talked about the loss of Tate and the grief you've experienced, which is what's led to Tate and Taylor, which is this incredible new platform and company that's supporting so many people walk.

• 44:32Jay Shetty?

  I want to talk about what you've built and the passion and the purpose behind it. But let's talk about the grief of losing a.

• 44:43Jay Shetty?

  Friend, because that's really what this is, a really dear friend. Walk me through those nine years and the amazing relationship you built with Tate.

• 44:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:55Jay Shetty?

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• 45:41Jay Shetty?

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• 46:25Jay Shetty?

  Subject to credit approval, terms apply.

• 46:28Speaker 04

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• 46:58Speaker 01

  Tate, oh, my angel. I got Tate when I was 18, so it was really kinda in the mix of all this, my life changing. You know, I booked the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show not very long after Tate came into my life. And we went, we walked through life together for nine years and he was my best friend. And, oh gosh, it's so hard to put it into words because it's, um,

• 47:29Speaker 01

  it's so, it's such a unique thing to have a deep relationship with an animal. And it sounds, I hope I don't sound crazy. Maybe I'm gonna sound a little crazy, but like, I just feel like the love that, you know, dogs and animals in general have for humans is so unconditional, you know? And they have no judgment. They don't want anything from you but your love back. And it's so pure and it's so innocent. It's almost childlike in a way, you know? When I, I can only imagine, you know, when you hold a newborn baby for the first time,

• 48:09Speaker 01

  that immediate connection that you feel to this thing that can't even talk yet and is just a part of you. It's, um, it's really special to have such a deep connection to something that literally wants nothing from you except for also like unconditional love. So to have Tate come into my life at that time was so special just because so much was changing. You know, I was growing up, I was, you know, becoming a young woman from a girl to a woman. And He was there for that and you know, I was traveling all the time and I was away from family and I just had this little tiny innocent soul with me that just always looked at me

• 48:52Speaker 01

  like, you're the best and I love you. And Tate taught me so much. I mean, he taught me, you know, responsibility, caring for something other than myself, you know, taking care of him, you know, pouring love into him and making sure that he was good and, you know, even well behaved and training him and doing all those things is, is showing him an act of love and making sure that he's a confident, comfortable dog. He, he could be in any scenario and he was the best boy. And I think he also kind of knew that I was just kind of out there winging it a bit. And he was like, oh God, this girl, this girl has no idea what she's doing. So I'm gonna have to be a good boy now. And he just, I really sometimes feel like he did teach himself, um,

• 49:34Speaker 01

  how to just be everywhere with me all the time. And I think that he was meant for me and he was meant to be in my life. And I think that we were sort of made to, for each other and we belonged to each other. Um, and you know, he was, he was so, it, it sounds crazy to say this about a dog, but he was so emotional. Like his eyes were so human. He could look at me and I knew what he was saying or what he was thinking, or I felt that he could feel what I was thinking or what I was feeling. And I definitely think that he also taught me a lot about, you know, emotion and, you know, being, you know, what's that saying, you know, be the person your dog thinks you are?

• 50:20Speaker 01

  They think you're great, you know? They're like, I love him no matter what. Yes, mom, yes. So that's the energy they give you, right? It's like, ah, you're the best. And it's just like, am I the best? But to have something, you know, this little creature just look at you and think you're the best. It kind of makes you want to be the best, right? You know, constantly trying to grow and be better and change. And, you know, nobody's perfect and we're, no one will ever be perfect. And we're always learning and we're always growing and, um, we're always changing. But having something to do that for and having some, someone to do that with is, is really, is

• 51:01Speaker 01

  it's different, you know, like it's more intentional, right? So trying to be better because Tate thinks I'm the best is. It's a different motivation. So he definitely was there for me through, you know, so much of my life and so much of my life changing. I think from, you know, eighteen to twenty-seven are pretty formative years. I don't, I'm not a doctor, but I, someone told me once that your brain stops developing at twenty-five or something. So, you know, he was there, oh, sorry, I hit the mic. I talk with my hands. He was there, he was there from when I had an undeveloped brain to a developed brain, you know, he kind

• 51:41Speaker 01

  of just saw me through. And he was, he was just the best. I mean, the love of my life. I mean, my soulmate, really, because he just knew, you know, and I've never had a connection with any, anyone like that, that I've had with Tate. So, I'm just, I'm really grateful that he was in my life. He's the inspiration behind me even wanting to start a pet company just because I love him so much and I know other people have felt that before. People who've had, you know, what I like to call a soul dog, they know what I'm talking about, you know, they know that feeling. And when I shared that I lost Tate, people who, who'd, you know, been on my journey with me and been maybe following me for a bit know the

• 52:24Speaker 01

  day I got him and maybe saw, saw him on my Instagram all the time. I mean, he was probably in every single picture on my Instagram for nine years. So I feel like people felt like they knew him. And when I said, when I, you know, shared that he was sick, and then when I ultimately shared that he had passed, the overwhelming amount of support and, you know, messages that I got and also shared experiences that I received from, I lost my soul dog ten years ago and I still think about them every single day. It made me feel, it made me feel less alone and less, maybe, kind of strange for feeling this way about a dog because I, you know, you get both. You get, I got amazing, overwhelming comments that were just overwhelmingly positive. I mean, just.

• 53:11Speaker 01

  You know, I know what you've, what you're going through. I went through this, you know, just remember he's always with you. You know, I got messages like that, that touched me so deeply and positively, and I just felt so grateful that I got those messages. But then, of course, you get the flip side where people don't understand. They're like, oh, it's a dog. What's the big deal, you know? Oh, it's a dog. Move on. I'll, I'll never move on from Tate's death. My grief will change for sure. Um, my perspective of his death will change. Um, and it, and it has even since I lost him, you know, I, it's, it's devastating and it's heartbreaking.

• 53:52Speaker 01

  And, you know, to anyone who's felt that, I know what that feels like. And don't let anybody rush you, you know? Some people don't understand that it's just because this is a dog and, you know, not a person. It doesn't mean that they don't deserve the same amount of time and space and energy you would give to grieving anything else. So I would just say, you know, take your time and you're not alone. And it's, it's a, not a fun thing to go through at all. So, um, I think I'll always miss Tate, you know? I don't see how I can't, you know? And I think

• 54:36Speaker 01

  to say, to, to get over something is such a harsh way of saying it because I'll probably never get over it. I'll never really get over losing Tate. I can heal from it and I can find, you know, peace with it. But those are two completely different things, getting over it. You can, how do you get over that, you know? It does, it's not something that, it's not a object in my way. It's, he's a part of me and he's no longer here. So. Yeah, I definitely think um losing a pet is is tough and you know, losing one that you have such a deep, strong connection with that's been with you for so many things with no expectation from you, other than just they want to be there with you is that's

• 55:21Speaker 01

  a tough loss and a tough thing to to um work through, so.

• 55:27Jay Shetty?

  Thank you for sharing that. I mean, I like I was saying to you, I've had two friends recently who've both lost pets that they were dogs that they were close to for many, many years. And I've been talking to them. And when this opportunity came up to talk to you, I was thinking about you and then thinking about them. And I can't wait to share this conversation with them because it's I don't think there's anyone who has a pet that they're deeply close to that sees it as a loss that's different of any kind. And why would you when that person has been there with you through all these experiences? Walk us through like, what is it like when you get that call or you have that meeting with the vet or the doctor that goes, this is the condition that Tate has. And please

• 56:11Jay Shetty?

  tell us a bit about the condition and that experience, because I feel like to me, when I think about grief and loss, it's like that point in the journey is so pivotal to everything that comes after it, because it's like the first time it really hits you that this may not last.

• 56:29Speaker 01

  Yeah. And also, it can dictate your your journey and how you grieve and why you're grieving. So Tate was diagnosed with T cell lymphoma. And, you know, he was acting strangely, probably less than a month before his diagnosis. It was little things, very subtle things, and almost things that were already kind of things that he had been doing before, but they were just a little bit more frequent or a little bit more extreme. And I was like, that's really weird. So Tate had a very sensitive stomach. He would always sometimes. I don't wanna say the word throw up, but sorry guys if you're triggered by that. Um, he would throw up his food sometimes and he like it didn't always like sit well with him and he,

• 57:14Speaker 01

  he had like, you know, already had like digest digestion problems from when he was a puppy. But probably a couple of weeks before his cancer diagnosis, he was still throwing up food. He was like drinking water excessively, like drinking a lot of water. Like he seemed very, very thirsty. And then when I ultimately was like, okay, something is really, really wrong. Um, it was incontinence. So he was peeing in the bed at night, which was, he never did that. He was such a good boy. He, I was like, he would never do this intentionally. So, um, I took him to the doctor and I was like, something is wrong. He's, you know, it's not strange or abnormal that he's throwing up his food,

• 57:56Speaker 01

  but it's strange that he threw up water yesterday and it's strange that he peed in the bed. And I don't think that those are normal things. So, you know, they're doing blood tests. His calcium levels are off. I don't remember in what way, just because,

• 58:11Speaker 01

  honestly, it's all a bit of a blur because it's, it was a very emotional time. So, but I do remember his calcium levels. There was something wrong there. So they did another test that was a bit more of a deep dive into that. They were like, okay, yeah, this is a problem. We should probably do an X-ray. So, you know, that was a week ago. So now it's a week later and, you know, getting these appointments and like seeing the doctors, you know, it's just sometimes not always easy, even in dogs, even, you know, in, in veterinary, um, circumstances, it's weirdly sometimes similar to human doctors, you know, it's just getting these appointments and getting into see, it's like, well, something is wrong. Can we just do this now? Why are we sitting here and waiting? Um, he doesn't feel good. So,

• 58:52Speaker 01

  we go in for the X-ray and, um, you know, sure enough, they, they find a mass in his shoulder and his lymph node near his shoulder. And they're like, okay, well, we think it's lymphoma. So, you know, you need to take him to an oncologist. And, you know, these are the oncologists that we recommend. I'm calling every hospital in New York that I possibly can to see, you know, who can I take him to right away? Everyone was, you know, this was maybe May. Everyone was like, our next appointment isn't until June 16th. Our next appointment isn't until July 16th. I'm like, okay, well, my dog was just diagnosed with cancer, or what they think to be is cancer. I can't imagine that he can wait until June or July.

• 59:37Speaker 01

  Um, and I don't really know what to do next. So he starts getting worse and he's not eating anymore and he has no appetite and he can't keep even water down. So my husband actually takes him to the vet. Um, I'm out of town when this is happening. And she says, he's in a really bad state. He's severely dehydrated. You need to take him to the emergency room right now. And they'll check him into the ICU and then maybe then he'll be seen by an oncologist. And I was like, why didn't you tell me that before? Oh, my God, I would have done that a week ago, even though he wasn't in a state of emergency. He has, we, we think he has cancer. We think he has T-cell lymphoma. That's very aggressive.

• 1:00:22Speaker 01

  So we, um, we, my husband takes him to the emergency room. And sure enough, they do. They check him into the ICU. He's, you know, very severely dehydrated. He's very weak. He hasn't eaten in like two days. And he's on a waitlist to see an oncologist that day. And wow, remembering all this is hard because I wasn't in town. This was happening and I get these calls that Tate's in the emergency room. Tate's in the ICU. I'm not there. I'm petrified. I'm gonna lose him. I'm not gonna be there. And he's seen by the oncologist, they do all the tests, they do all the scans. Yes, he does have T-cell lymphoma.

• 1:01:08Speaker 01

  It's throughout his entire body. He has multiple, you know, masses on multiple lymph nodes. And he, he definitely doesn't have much, much more time left.

• 1:01:25Speaker 01

  So I get home as soon as I can. I'm in the ICU with him and, you know, all of this is happening days before our wedding, actually. Um, I was in the hospital with him on a Monday and on Thursday, I was meant to fly back home to Colorado to get married. And I'm in New York in the hospital, in the ICU with Tate. And, you know, I'm looking at him and I'm asking him, like, if you, if you need to go, please let me know. Like, I will let you go, you know? Like, I don't want to make him do anything that he doesn't want to do. Because sometimes I feel like when you're dealing with a sick animal, we can be quite selfish. And I want him to be there and I want him to be okay.

• 1:02:09Speaker 01

  And I want him to be at my wedding and all these things that I want. But what about him? Him, he doesn't feel good. He's sick, he's in the hospital. So Tate was at the Animal Medical Center in New York, the Shoresman Animal Medical Center. And a lot of what we do at Tate and Taylor is I have a whole cancer, like a fuck cancer merch collection line. Where a hundred percent of the profit that we make goes back to, um, a, a fund that they have at the Animal Medical Center called the Buddy Fund. And what the Buddy Fund does is help subsidize the cost or cover the cost in total of chemotherapy and cancer treatments in pets. It's an incredible program and it's an incredible hospital.

• 1:02:52Speaker 01

  And a part of my journey and story with Tate. So much of it has to do with the amazing, the oncology department at the Animal Medical Center is amazing. They're the largest nonprofit hospital in the world. And they, they're, they have so many amazing programs there. They're a teaching hospital. So it's a really, it's a great place. Tate was in the best hands when he was there. And while, even though I was going through something quite emotional and a turbulent time of, is he gonna make it to one of the most special days of my life? And, or is he not? I, I had an amazing doctor there. She was so supportive. She was about to get married. She was, you know, getting married a week after me.

• 1:03:34Speaker 01

  So she was, I have a dog and she was like, I can't, she's like, I can't imagine what you're feeling right now. I mean, she's, she's like, I can't imagine what you're feeling right now, you know? Getting married, your dog in the hospital, this is your baby. And, you know, you're, he might not be there. So the, the team that, the oncology team was so amazing with Tate and with me. They did everything in their power. They're like, well, we think we should start, you know, the CHOP protocol, which is what he started. And um, he started responding to it really positively. So I, I'm, you know, that was a small segue. Cut back to, you know, I'm looking at Tate. I'm like, please tell me, like, do you wanna fight this? Like, are you gonna stick it out?

• 1:04:16Speaker 01

  I, you don't have to do the, you don't have to come. I know I want you to, but I need to do what's best for you. And after I, you know, said this to him, he, it's, you know, he's going in to have a feeding tube put in because he's not eating. And he's about to start the CHOP protocol. They wanna make sure he has nutrients in his body. So they put a feeding tube in so that they can start giving, administering, you know, nutrients to him. And immediately flipped. He went from looking like he was on death's doorstep to Tate. He was wagging his tail. He was energetic. He was, you know, doing, he was him. I was like, it was the next day and this was Wednesday. I'm supposed to leave Thursday for the wedding.

• 1:05:02Speaker 01

  I was, my mind was blown. I was like, oh my God, I can't believe it. I was like, Tate, are you lying to me right now? What are you doing? What is this? All of a sudden? He knew. He knew he wanted to be there. I asked him, I was like, do you? What do you need? What do you want? They, they, you know, put the feeding tube in. They're administering the, his first dose of the CHOP protocol. And, you know, he's able to put, get some nutrients in his body. He's a different dog. I'm like, okay, this dog wants to fight this for me. He wants to pull through right now. So he does make it to the wedding. It was an amazing, beautiful experience. Be able to share that with him because literally every person who he's ever loved and who has ever loved Tate was there.

• 1:05:43Speaker 01

  And they got to, they got to say goodbye to him, you know, as, not to sound morbid, but it is, it was a, it's in a way, sort of, cancer in dogs is, it's not curable. They don't live much longer than maybe a year, you know, sometimes in some cases too. Like, it's different, you know? You, they treat dogs to live the best quality of life that they can for the rest of their lives until they get to a point where it's, okay, well, it's, it's their time. So it was a way for people to say goodbye to him because we knew he wouldn't be around for much longer. We didn't know how much longer, but it wasn't going to be much longer.

• 1:06:25Speaker 01

  And it was really special. You know, my, my best friend from my childhood, someone I've known since I was five years old, he was, um, um, what did I call him? Oh, my man of honor. And he walked him down the aisle and it was really special. And, you know, people were crying and everyone was hugging Tate and kissing Tate and just, it was so special for me to be able to see and feel the love for him, knowing what he had gone through and what we were going through. And it felt like, it truly felt like a miracle that he made it there and that he was there that day. So then, you know, we get back to New York and he's, you know, he's on maybe number two or three of his doses.

• 1:07:10Speaker 01

  It's a 16 week process and we were probably only on like week two. And so because he had T cell lymphoma, it's a, it's very aggressive and it adapts in the body really quickly. And, you know, since Tate had tumors throughout his entire body, um, we didn't know how he was, would respond to it. He, he was nine years old, so he was older, but he wasn't. Old, old, I guess. So the doctors were like, well, we're not really sure. He's nine. It's old, but he's still energetic. He's still quite youthful. Like, we're gonna kind of play it by ear and see how this goes. And then it was, we were, um, we were in New York for maybe about a week, ten days or so, and

• 1:07:55Speaker 01

  he started to get really, really bad again, really bad. We take him back to the emergency room.

• 1:08:02Speaker 01

  They, you know, he's back in the ICU and they're doing all the blood work and the tests and, you know, checking on him and he,

• 1:08:14Speaker 01

  the cancer in his body had adapted to the, to the chemotherapy treatments and it was attacking his kidneys now. And, um, essentially, you know, his doctor said, if he doesn't pass from the cancer, he'll pass from kidney failure. So right now, we're in a position where there's not much more we can do and he's not comfortable. He's in a lot of pain. He's very sick. Um, he, she said, it's completely up to you and I can't tell you what to do. All I can tell you is where he's at. What the health, the, the condition of his health right now is not good.

• 1:08:54Speaker 01

  So, you know, we ultimately have to come to the, to the decision to let Tate go because I don't want him to live like that. That's so selfish, you know, I think, to try to keep treating him when he's, yeah, he's not,

• 1:09:10Speaker 01

  he shouldn't, he shouldn't be, you know, so, um, we were able to, um, make an appointment with the doctor that, that does humane euthanization in home. So that Tate could be with me, my husband, and we were in our home together and we got to hold him and, you know, he didn't have to go back to the hospital because going there was It was a scary thing for him. I could tell it was stressful because that's where they would take him away from me. And I knew he wanted to be with me. He was very attached to me, so I didn't want to have to take him back there. I didn't want him to have to pass in that environment. Not to speak nega-, it wasn't a negative space at all. I was actually very happy. It was a very beautiful space.

• 1:09:55Speaker 01

  The doctors were amazing there and it was, it was both. It was tough because it was, what we were going through was so difficult. But they were so, they were so amazing there. They were so positive. Their energy was so great. So it wasn't that it was a dark scary place. It was just, I want him to feel as comfortable as possible. And I know that by him walking in there, he was like, he would be like, oh no, like I'm in this place again. They're gonna take me away from you, mom. So I didn't want to bring him back there and have to, you know, his last moments be in a place where he didn't know what was gonna happen to him. So we did it at home and um it was really special that I um got to hold him

• 1:10:36Speaker 01

  and you know, comfort him and be with him. That was the most important thing to me. I was, I absolutely have to be there. Like I have to be there. And I think he knew that and I think he wanted me to be there. And he waited so that we could do, we could do it together and we could be together.

• 1:11:01Speaker 01

  And it's, it's a tough thing, you know?

• 1:11:06Speaker 01

  Like having to, you know, witness someone die is not fun.

• 1:11:15Speaker 01

  Especially him, you know, for me, he was, he was, he was everything to me. And um, just based off of that experience that I have with him, I know so many people probably have felt that way, have been in a similar situation. And I know it's, it's really hard.

• 1:11:37Speaker 01

  Uh, going through that, so I'm grateful for the way that everything happened with me, with Tate. Um, it's so crazy. They know, like, they know they're these spiritual beings. I think animals are more spiritual than us. They have so much more, they have different types of consciousness, I think, than people do. He knew what I needed and he knew what, how I needed him to go. And he, he like, he really did that for me. And it was really, even though it was really tough, it was really also beautiful at the same time to be able to hold him in his last moments. And he was there for me for every single moment. And

• 1:12:22Speaker 01

  I got to be there for him in this moment. And he didn't feel fear. He didn't feel pain. He was, I held him in my arms and I was, you know, we were just, I got to hold him. So he was very, I know he was comfortable and I, I felt that with him and I, that's why I wanted to be there. So I just could make sure that he felt nothing but comfort and no pain and just happiness and love. Like, he could feel my love. So, um, that's sort of the, you know, the story of Tate and his, his illness and his cancer and what, you know, sort of what we went through. Um, and you know,

• 1:13:06Speaker 01

  treating cancer is so expensive, even with insurance. And, you know, part of why the, um, the Buddy Fund is something that we're so passionate about and why I feel like I want Tate and Taylor as a brand to be really, um, cause driven and have an initiative and have a purpose and have a reason behind it is because of, you know, what I went through with Tate. I started building Tate and Taylor with him, not knowing that any of this would happen. And then before we even got to launch and start the company publicly, I lost him and it shifted sort of a lot of the drive and some of the purpose that we have. Um, and being, having to decide between being

• 1:13:52Speaker 01

  Having a financial burden and being in a place where you may or may not be able to financially care for your pet and those last precious moments, the ones that even I know I got to have with Tate, those last few weeks with him were the best weeks ever in my memory of my life with him because he got to come to my wedding, he was back to himself for a little bit, these like special little things and times that we shared together, they were so important in how I was able to heal going forward once I did lose him. So I think being able to help support people who are going through this with their pets and go through cancer and you know, that that journey and that path and

• 1:14:33Speaker 01

  and what that looks like is something I really, I have such a passion for and something I really want to be able to help because I went through all of this with him and I know what that feels like and I know what that pain is and what how, what that weight feels like and what the grief feels like. How can I be there for other people and how can I help other people who are going through this? So they they never have to think about that. And that's why we picked the Buddy Fund, just because of the experience that I had with Tate at AMC and so many people, I know so many people who've who've had that experience and you know, I spoke with Tate's oncologist, Dr. Rachel Lordall and you know, we posted it on the Tate and Taylor Instagram and I got a couple of

• 1:15:17Speaker 01

  comments that were like, I love Dr. Rachel, she was there for me with with my with my dog and you know, she's amazing. And so people feel, people feel it from them, from that place. And that fund is so impactful because when you're going through something like that, to have to worry about whether or not you can afford care and whether or not you can even get those extra, that extra time and just see how they're even going to respond to treatment. I mean, I can't even, I don't even want to, nobody wants to have to go there and make that decision. So I got so much support when I lost Tate and I just want to do everything I can to support others because I know other people go through this and there are people in that position and it breaks

• 1:16:01Speaker 01

  my heart to even think that somebody would have to go through.

• 1:16:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, I just, I can't. It's hard to um to verbalize that pain and I, cause I, I can, I can so clearly visualize what that feeling could be and having to make that decision and um I got to make it when I did with Tate and I'm, I'm, I'm so grateful that I, I, I was able to do that and I just wanna be able to, to share, to like, give that back, give that time, give it to others, like, how can I help give people more time with their soulmates, I guess?

• 1:16:38Jay Shetty?

  Taylor, thank you so much for opening up so intimately about that journey and I remember seeing the beautiful and amazing pictures and memories you shared with Tate on social media and but to hear the, the actual journey behind it, just thank you so much for being so open and, and giving and I'm very confident that

• 1:17:05Jay Shetty?

  I mean, I, I haven't lost a pet or a dog and I don't know what that feels like, but even just sitting here listening to you, I know that anyone who has or anyone who may do so in the future will have this to turn to as a way of connecting with and to humanize their experience and also validate their experience of how deeply they love

• 1:17:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:28Jay Shetty?

  this friend in their life and I wanted to ask you, what would you, two questions, what would you

• 1:17:35Jay Shetty?

  for anyone who is grieving the loss of a pet friend, a dog, like, what would you want them to know about the grieving process? And the second question is, if someone has a friend or family member that's going through it, what would you like them to know in order to offer help or support to that person?

• 1:17:55Speaker 01

  I would say if you're going through, if you're going through this loss and you're, you know, coping with this type of grief.

• 1:18:04Speaker 01

  I think patience, just be patient with yourself. Feel it, you know? Grief is like an ocean. Sometimes it's relentless, sometimes it's calm, sometimes the waves are huge and crashing. Sometimes it's completely still and beautiful and peaceful and, you know, you're you're able to just float. So wherever you're at, whatever your ocean is doing, just feel it. Because

• 1:18:32Speaker 01

  one moment it'll feel really calm and you'll feel a sense of perspective, maybe a sense of peace. And then there'll be a memory or you'll be in a situation where it brings something back up and then the waves come crashing in. And, you know, that's okay. Sometimes, you know, I'm I'm almost a year uh till to the day that I lost Tate. And I'm not fully healed yet. And I think that's gonna take maybe a couple more years to even feel like I can say I'm healed from that.

• 1:19:01Speaker 01

  I don't think I can ever, I don't think anyone ever necessarily moves on. And I think if they hear the words move on, don't take that, let let that roll right off you. Because there that's not what maybe they mean. To move on, you may you may never move on. But to heal is different, you know? To heal a wound that so it no longer opens is a different thing. And I would say to make sure that you're doing the steps and taking care of yourself in the way you need to to heal. Because it is a wound, you know? How would you go about if you broke your arm? You know, you would go to the doctor, you would, you know, set it in a cast. You would do all these steps to make sure your arm could work again.

• 1:19:44Speaker 01

  So I think that losing someone is sort of, it it's it's a wound. It's in it's an internal wound. It's some it's a part, it's it breaks something in our spirit. So it's not something you can see, but it's something that needs addressing. It's something that needs help, it needs time, you know? However, you need to do that and whatever your process looks like to deal with healing. Just, and if you don't know how to do that, I think talking to someone, I think. Anyone. It doesn't even have to be a therapist, you know, because I know a lot of people like to say, go to therapy. Well, some people don't have access to therapy yet. And that's okay, but talking about it, you know,

• 1:20:27Speaker 01

  if there's someone you can relate to, if you can find anyone in your life who will listen and help, help you grieve and, you know, talk, talk through it with you, writing about it, talking to yourself about it, if you, if you prefer writing or journaling, or I think there's a couple of different ways to get started in terms of, well, I don't even know how to heal. What does that mean, Taylor? What, where do I start? What's the process look like? It's different for everyone, but I think, um, you know, knowledge is power and learning. And if you don't know where to start, you can talk to someone and maybe ask a couple of questions or ask yourself questions or write things out and start really small and start there. And then hopefully, you know, you can start growing on that

• 1:21:09Speaker 01

  and, and expanding on, okay, well, I, this is what it means to heal. This is, this is my process. This is how I'm going to do this. And, you know, find the tools that work for you and, or create the tools that work for you. Who, who knows? It's different for everybody. It's different for everybody. So however that looks like to you, whatever that feels like to you, as long as you're, you're doing what you need to do to ultimately heal from it, I think that's a really, a really great place to start is just to start thinking about it from there. Don't worry about moving on or getting over it, or if the emotions are stronger sometimes than others, it can be really unexpected, you know? It can, it hits you like a wave some days and, and that's okay.

• 1:21:53Speaker 01

  Feel it, sit there, write about it, think about it. I mean, if you want to ignore it for a little bit, you can, but you know, make sure you're always coming back to it and acknowledging it and addressing it. And then you can sort of like let it go and be like, okay, I see you, I hear you, I feel you. We're gonna acknowledge that emotion and then we can let it go. And then I think that's like, those are really good ways to kind of start.

• 1:22:16Jay Shetty?

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• 1:23:01Jay Shetty?

  so you keep every dollar you earn. This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. If you're talking about quality food, you can't forget Whole Foods Market, who've been holding themselves to the highest standards since they opened in 1980. That means you'll see thousands of organic products across their stores, from the produce department to the aisles. It also means you'll never see certain ingredients. They've banned artificial sweeteners and colors, high fructose corn syrup and more, so you can shop with peace of mind. Shop Whole Foods Market in-store or online. This episode is brought to you by Wayfair. Home should be a place that feels like a sanctuary, a space that truly reflects who you are.

• 1:23:44Jay Shetty?

  But it can be challenging to balance style, budget, and endless options. I was looking to create a dedicated calm space for my morning meditation and reading, but I was struggling to find pieces that felt grounding but could also stand up to daily use. I went on Wayfair and found a beautiful, solid wood accent chair and a bookshelf. Now that corner is my favorite place to anchor my day. The quality is incredible, it's built to last, and it completely shifted the energy of the room. Plus, you can shop with Wayfair Verified, where product specialists carefully vet items for quality and functionality, so you can shop with more confidence. And if putting it all together sounds like a headache, Wayfair can handle delivery, installation, and assembly. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase

• 1:24:29Jay Shetty?

  and start saving on your next home upgrade. Head to wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W A Y F A I R dot com. Wayfair, every style, every home. Healing. Hmm. Thank you for sharing that. And I loved what you were saying about people discovering their own tools, discovering their own way, not feeling like there has to be a set formula. And, and even listening to this conversation, and I do think, I've been encouraging a lot of my friends to reach out to other people who've gone through similar experiences because, not that your healing will look the same, but that it feels

• 1:25:08Jay Shetty?

  necessary to sit with other people who you feel see you, hear you, understand you. And my friend told me something beautiful about grief that I don't think I'll ever forget. They said to me that grief is like a stone and you carry it in your pocket. And you'll always notice it, you'll feel it, you know it's there. But as time goes on, you get stronger. And so as you get stronger, it's not that the stone goes away, it's just that it gets lighter. And so it's lighter to carry, but it doesn't mean it's going away. You didn't move on, you didn't have to get over it. It doesn't disappear, it doesn't get smaller, it stays the same. You just get stronger, so the stone gets lighter. Yeah.

• 1:25:53Jay Shetty?

  And I, and I really appreciated that idea around grief. Because it sat true with me that it didn't have to go away. I didn't have to let go of it. I didn't have to forget about it. And that it would always be there, but just as I grow and as I strengthen and as I become more resilient, it becomes lighter and doesn't weigh on me in the same way as the heavy feeling of grief can in the beginning. Yeah. And so, yeah, thank you for, I mean, it sounds like, you know, you shared with me before that there was something you wanted to share with our community here that you hadn't shared before. And

• 1:26:36Jay Shetty?

  when you mentioned it to me, there's something beautiful you said, and it was this idea of how Tate has actually been with you through.

• 1:26:47Jay Shetty?

  Another loss in your life.

• 1:26:48Speaker 01

  Um hum.

• 1:26:49Jay Shetty?

  And that's a journey that you haven't shared before.

• 1:26:53Speaker 01

  Um hum.

• 1:26:53Jay Shetty?

  Could you walk us through how Tate was your best friend through that journey too?

• 1:26:59Speaker 01

  So about three years ago, um, I had a miscarriage. And I've, I've never spoken about it before. Um, except for obviously to people in my life and you know, my family knows and my close friends know. And I, I've shared it with, you know, some people. And I do think, you know, talking about it is an important thing. But you know, I've never publicly spoken about it or said that I went through that. Um, and you know, I kind of made the decision that I, since I'm, you know, talking about Tate

• 1:27:41Speaker 01

  and I'm, you know, starting this business based off of the love that we have for each other and how I want to be there for people. He was there for me in so many ways and how can I, you know, share that without sharing something that I went through that he was there for me for. And in grieving his loss, I'm grieving the shared experiences we've had and learning how to cope some, cope with something without him when he was there for me through that time in my life. Um, I had a, it was a really strange circumstance under which I, um, had my miscarriage. I, um, had an I U D. I had it for about three years.

• 1:28:25Speaker 01

  So I obviously, you know, I wasn't actively trying to get pregnant. I didn't want to get pregnant at all. I was, you know, engaged to my husband and, you know, we were not planning on starting a family probably for, you know, for a while. So I wasn't in the headspace at all to, to be pregnant. Um, and You know, I'm not really sure how it happens because I I don't I I don't know how that works. I'm not a doctor and I I didn't understand it and sometimes I still don't understand it. Um, because, you know, I'm pretty sure I could be wrong on this. I probably should have looked it up before I came in here.

• 1:29:04Speaker 01

  So I could say exactly, but um, it's a really small percentage, like a small chance of getting pregnant on an IUD. It's like less than one percent or something like that, which is still, you know, still a chance, like it can still happen, of course. But you, if some crazy things happen to someone, it's like, oh, that'll never happen to me. It happened to me. I got pregnant on an IUD and I I was shocked and I was sad. I didn't want to be pregnant. I wasn't ready to be pregnant. I didn't understand what it meant to be pregnant with an IUD. I didn't know what that meant. I didn't know what my journey with this pregnancy would look like. I was so scared. I was terrified.

• 1:29:46Speaker 01

  Um, and also it was in still during COVID, so my husband was in. He wasn't able to be with me. He was in London and um, he was in, you know, kind of not allowed to travel into the US. So I I found, he was with me in the beginning of um, COVID and the pandemic, but because he's British, you know, he was on an ESTA. And they were getting people out on tourist visas, so his exception to fly out was because he didn't overstay his ESTA. Because that's the last thing we want to be. We were, you know, planning on getting married, like we can't get marks on, you know, all that stuff. So um, he left the country because he had to, and so then we were separated.

• 1:30:28Speaker 01

  And we were no longer able to be together. I don't think I saw him for maybe another couple of months after that. So um, he he wasn't with me when I found out I was pregnant. And um, that was really hard for both of us because all you want to do when you're going through something like that, as shocking and unexpected as it was for the both of us, is to be there with each other, you know? I know he wanted more than anything in the world to hold my hand, like tell me it's gonna be okay, like hold me. And, you know, that's all I wanted too, and I couldn't be with him and um. Tate was with me though, you know, he was, we were together and I'm so grateful that I,

• 1:31:13Speaker 01

  I had him physically to be there with me physically, you know, my husband was there for me in every way that he possibly could be, but I had the physical connection, that, that holding, that comforting, you know, that's something that you need in that space, I, it was breaking both of our hearts that we didn't have that, you know, couldn't do that. And I think it both gave us like comfort knowing that I had Tate with me for that. Um, you know, I had to go to my doctor's appointments alone. I, you know, went in to make sure that I didn't have an, what's called an ectopic pregnancy, which is when, um, it, the embryo attaches itself in the fallopian tube.

• 1:31:54Speaker 01

  My pregnancy was in my uterus, so it was viable, it was technically healthy, but the circumstances in the environment on which I got, which I conceived was a bit of a turbulent environment. So, you know, my doctor said, we don't really know what's gonna happen here because, you know, you conceived in an environment where your body is telling you, you shouldn't be pregnant because of the IUD, because of the hormones the IUD is putting into your body. Um, and also if we remove it, then, you know, we're changing again the environment on which you conceived. So, you know, it's, we don't know fifty fifty of whether or not you're gonna, you know, carry this out.

• 1:32:38Speaker 01

  So, um, it was really just a waiting game to see if it would stick or not. And I was given a couple of markers of, you know, come back at about six and a half weeks and we can do an internal ultrasound and, you know, check everything out and see how it's going. So, you know, I'm, I'm waiting another week or so. I go back in, they do the internal ultrasound, they're able to like hear a heartbeat, um, and, you know, at this point, I'm like, oh my gosh, like, I, what is happening to me? This is so crazy. I'm going through all these things. I have a photo. I have the picture, you know, of the ultrasound, like, that's so great. It was like this big, you know what I mean?

• 1:33:23Speaker 01

  And, um,

• 1:33:26Speaker 01

  So I'm at a place in my life where, okay, maybe I wasn't planning to get pregnant and I wasn't, I wasn't ultimately excited about it at first. I was scared, not excited. I was shocked. I was confused. I, I, I was feeling fear. I wasn't feeling joy. But at the same time, I'm gonna marry this person. I'm in love with this person. I wanna have a family with this person. I'm twenty, um, was I twenty-five? Or was I twenty-four? I think I was twenty-five. I'm twenty-five. That's still young, but you know, it's, I feel somewhat ready if I was to have a child. Okay, so I'm gonna start getting in the headspace now of, I think I'm gonna, if this pregnancy sticks around, like, I'm gonna have a child, okay?

• 1:34:12Speaker 01

  Oh, gosh. So it's like I'm coming to so many different, so many terms of acceptance here where I'm just like, okay, but I can't get too excited because we don't know what's gonna happen. I have to pass all of these milestones to make sure if this is gonna be a healthy pregnancy or not. Um, so I get to about roughly nine weeks and, you know, she's like, okay, well, we're getting closer. She, you know, she's optimistic that this could be happening. You know, usually it's about twelve to fourteen weeks when you start telling people. Um, so I'm like, oh, my God, it's getting closer. Like, maybe this is gonna happen. Um, and I'm starting to accept that this is gonna happen.

• 1:34:53Speaker 01

  Um, it's still really early, though, so of course, not too excited. I'm not at that, that check mark yet. And then, um, I start spotting, but it was, it was like, um, it wasn't bright red. It wasn't blood yet. And so then the doctor was like, well, that's normal. Sometimes that happens. You know, there is spotting with pregnancy. It's just your body adjusting. So, oh, we'll just keep an eye on it. Um, and about a week goes by and, and then I start seeing what looks like fresh blood. Um, and that's this, you know, that's what she told me to look out for. And that's like kind of the early signs and, um, of

• 1:35:33Speaker 01

  what ultimately will be a miscarriage. So that starts happening and, you know, I'm, I'm alone in my house and, you know, I'm, at least I have Tate with me and. I call my husband and you know, I'm just devastated because I know that this is about to happen to me and we're both crying and he's, I could just tell, he was so heartbroken, um, that he couldn't be there. I think that was really painful for him too, you know, for both of us. And I've never spoken about it either, so like to this extent, so I um,

• 1:36:14Speaker 01

  I have with my family, so this is also new for me to, to do this, it's like reprocessing again. Um, I'm going through the physical reaction of having the miscarriage, um, and it, it takes some time, like you know it's happening while it's happening, it doesn't just like happen and then it's done, like it, it's, it takes a long time, it's, it can be painful, it feels like uh, period cramps, but like your worst period cramps you've ever had. Um, and you know, ultimately it passes and I have to make all these doctor, doctor's appointments, I, um, I have to, you know, make sure everything's okay, make sure I'm healthy and all of that, so

• 1:36:59Speaker 01

  you know, right after dealing with, with this loss, you have to click into this mode of I have to do all these things and I have to make sure I do this and I do that and logistics of getting to the doctor and like making sure and checking and making sure it was clean and everything that needed to pass, passed. Um, so, you know, I kind of went into take care of it mode, um, and

• 1:37:28Speaker 01

  I just remember feeling so confused because

• 1:37:34Speaker 01

  it was really just like a, a roller coaster of emotion of I didn't, I didn't even know, I, I didn't even want this, I, I wasn't expecting this, I, I wasn't planning on having a child, I was doing to the best of my ability, you know, the IUD is one of the best forms of birth control, one of the most efficient forms of birth control. And, you know, I

• 1:38:00Speaker 01

  I was very confused. I was like, why is this happening? Um, this is so wild. I can't believe, I can't believe this. Um, I, I didn't, I didn't wanna necessarily be pregnant. Um, and then, okay, I'm, I make, pass a couple of checkpoints and I'm starting to feel a little like, oh gosh, this is gonna happen. I'm starting to process emotions of coming to terms with this, like,

• 1:38:26Speaker 01

  you do get excited. I wasn't allowing myself to get fully excited or to like be too optimistic about it. I tried to stay as neutral as I possibly could, but it's, it's difficult, you know? You can't, you can't control some of these things. I mean, these, this is what I'm feeling. So, you know, I, I was like, okay, well, oh my gosh, like, is this happening? Like, whoa. So then it throws a little bit of excitement and then, you know, some joy because like I want a family. I'm excited to have children. Um, and, and then I lose the pregnancy, you know? It was early still, like when I lost it, so, um, I wasn't luckily fully in the headspace of, oh my God, this is 100% happening.

• 1:39:08Speaker 01

  So in terms of the timeline, I am really grateful that I hadn't fully come to terms with it yet. But I was still really confused because I was like, whoa, processing this emotion of feeling like, I don't even want this to, maybe this is happening? And feeling some excitement and maybe some joy and then, and then lost? It was so strange and it was just all the things, you know? It was really just two things can be true at once, kind of a thing? Where you feel these emotions that are, one is,

• 1:39:41Speaker 01

  honestly, even with some time and some space now and some perspective, relief?

• 1:39:49Speaker 01

  Wow, the timing wasn't right, you know? Everything happens for a reason. I wasn't ready to be a mother. I wasn't ready to have a child. I'm absolutely devastated. I'm not a mother and I don't have a child. Well, that makes no sense. How can you feel both of those things? I don't know. They both sit, one sits on the side of my brain and one sits on the side of the brain and they fight with each other. And I don't, and it took me a really long time to understand how to deal with that. I don't know how to talk about this. How do I make this make sense? And I think in terms of, you know,

• 1:40:26Speaker 01

  Miscarriages, sometimes they don't make sense. None of, it doesn't make any sense. And I think a lot of women go through that. I think it's something like one in three women experience miscarriage. So, and, and some women, multiple. And some women who've never had one, like myself, you know, when I first got pregnant, it's like this, you have this sort of, we don't, you don't know that that's a possibility, right? So it's, it's like, oh, it can be really exciting. And I think a lot of women, when they get pregnant for the first time, feel excited and optimistic and hopeful and, oh my God, I'm gonna have a child right away. So the blow of a miscarriage is so devastating. Wait a minute, what? I didn't, what? What happened?

• 1:41:11Speaker 01

  I, I thought I was having a child. All, everyone has a baby. How do people have babies? Like, this is crazy. How is this happening? To, to be pregnant is such a complicated thing. It's so wild, the fact that we can even get pregnant, you know? And I think it, it really helped me feel less alone, knowing that it was something that was quite common and that a lot of women do go through it.

• 1:41:38Speaker 01

  And it, it just, it... But then, you know, something that I, I felt that was difficult to hear in the very beginning, that being said, when I did very first lose my pregnancy, it was like, well, you know, don't worry, this happens to a lot of people, you're not alone. It was like, you, I didn't wanna hear that. I didn't wanna hear, this happens all the time. Like, you know, I was so upset. I was like, what do you mean? So, so I shouldn't feel upset that this happened to me because it happens to a lot of people? So, I don't, I, I, I'm trying, I'm sorry, I'm trying to articulate. And it's a very difficult thing to articulate specifically because I think it is very intricate and it's...

• 1:42:21Speaker 01

  It can be very difficult and complicated to speak about something like that.

• 1:42:27Speaker 01

  So because there's so many powerful, really, you know, strong emotions that are happening in your physical body and in your emotional self as well. So I was always torn with they're trying to help me by saying this, but it didn't help me to hear that. So if I'm saying that now, three years later, I do have perspective and it and it did eventually become helpful to hear. I'm not alone. One in three women have have miscarriages. This happens to people. It's gonna be okay. If someone's listening and they're not ready to hear that,

• 1:43:01Speaker 01

  I feel that. I've been there. Like, no, this sucks. It sucks that one in three women go through it. It sucks that it's something that we have to deal with. Sometimes you need to hear that. You know, so I've I've been in a place and I've been in positions where I needed to feel both. Like, I'm mad, I'm confused. Why is this happening to me? Why is my body doing this? I felt a sense of failure. I felt a sense of betrayal of my own body, of my own self. I felt like. And I wanted to feel those things. I didn't want to hear, oh, well, it happens to one in three women. I'm like, oh, I'm mad at myself. Like, it's okay. It's okay to be mad at yourself. You don't have to

• 1:43:43Speaker 01

  get over it right away and accept that it happens to one in three women. So wherever you're at in, you know, your journey of of dealing with these emotions and processing, you know, I I've I've felt those things. I've been angry. I've felt confused. I felt relief. I felt pain. And none of it made any sense. I was like, what? How do I? How do I deal with this? And again, you know, it's it goes back to sort of something similar. And when I lost Tate, I just sort of started talking to people. I spoke to one of my best friends in the whole world and I, with the day it happened, I just sobbed to her and

• 1:44:27Speaker 01

  she held me, you know? And, you know, she experienced this loss as well, not shortly after me. And

• 1:44:37Speaker 01

  I think that when I knew she was going through what I had been through and she held me and I held her and we were talking about it with each other, I think that's when I got to a place when I was starting ready to hear this happens to one in three women. And then I wanted to learn about it more and understand the technical reasons why this happens and, you know, it's not my fault. My body didn't fail me, you know, it wasn't a viable pregnancy, it wasn't healthy, it wasn't meant to happen. I don't, I'll never really know why it happened. It could be a multitude of things. I got pregnant on an

• 1:45:17Speaker 01

  IUD, you know, that's probably number one reason why it didn't come to fruition. So, you know, I did have some things to ground me in my grief of, okay, well, this happened because of this reason. Some women don't get that answer and they don't know why. And maybe it happens to them a lot later in their pregnancies. And there's so many different levels and variations of what it means to have a miscarriage and so many different variables and versions of what a miscarriage looks like and what a miscarriage feels like to those people. All I can say is my own personal experience and all the things I was feeling during that time and know that, you know, three years later, I

• 1:46:01Speaker 01

  have so much more perspective and I've given myself so much time to heal from that. And it no longer feels like an open gaping wound. It feels like a scar. It's definitely still with me. There's a mark there. It happened to me. It's more of a, you know, another mark on my spirit maybe, but I have perspective from it. I have healing from it. I really feel like I gave myself a lot of time to feel everything I know I needed to feel for

• 1:46:41Speaker 01

  myself. And I think it's important for other women to hear from others what, that it's something that we go through. And

• 1:46:54Speaker 01

  I didn't know if I would ever publicly talk about it, but I, you know, I lost Tate and I'm talking about grief and he was such a huge part of my journey and my life. And he helped me deal with grief and he's been a huge part of, you know, my mental health and being there for me. And I think there's something there with, you know, having that connection to an animal and mental health and what they can do for our mental health. I mean, there's therapy dogs for a reason and horse therapy and there's a reason why people connect to animals so strongly and there's something there and there's something that's healing and being around them, you know? And he was such a huge part of that healing and in losing him, it did, it did hurt me

• 1:47:34Speaker 01

  in that area, that previous injury in my spirit that I had from the miscarriage. It was someone that was with me so closely and so deeply for something so difficult is no longer here. I can no longer hold him and, you know, feel comforted from the wave of emotions that maybe come back from having this, having the miscarriage. Um, so, you know, it's, it's all connected and, you know, sometimes it, it can be painful and it can be hurtful and even though it's a, it is a scar on, on me now and it's what I feel healed and I feel optimistic and I've, I've grown a lot from it. And, you know, I do

• 1:48:19Speaker 01

  feel like I've kind of come out on the other side of going through that. It's still a tender spot, you know what I mean? It's like if it's poked, it kind of hurts. It's like, oh, that, that was, that's from that, you know? You know, I can only, I have, I've never broken a bone, crazy enough as it is. So I, I can imagine it's maybe similar to if you break a bone in your body, oh, it still hurts, maybe later in life and you feel aches and pains and all of these things. So, um, it's, it's an injury that I've, feel like my spirit's endured and it's still there, but, um, I've really worked through it and worked through healing and. Um, I think there's a light at the end of the tunnel in terms of if you're going through,

• 1:48:59Speaker 01

  through that, um, it takes time and who knows, maybe now I, maybe I think I'm healed and I maybe fully not, I don't know. I, I feel confident and comfortable enough to speak about it. So maybe that's a layer and a step towards like, towards healing. Maybe we're never fully done healing and, and, and growing from things. I mean, we're never done growing. We grow forever, never, never until the day we die. So, um, it might evolve and it might change going forward. And, you know, it might continue and shift. And I can maybe look back on where I'm at today and think I still had some work to do and I wasn't aware of it yet. So, you know, we'll kind of, we'll see where it goes. But, you know, kind of where I'm at now is this is the headspace

• 1:49:41Speaker 01

  that I'm in. I feel, um, comfortable and, you know, confident enough to sort of talk about it and talk about, you know, what happened and, and share it and hope that others can maybe connect with it and feel not alone. Um, I know it's, it can feel isolating, especially if there is no one in your life that's been through it and you don't feel like you have somebody to connect to. So hopefully it, it just helps. And I feel like that's kind of why I wanted to share that was just because, you know, the many layers of grief and in my loss, I've, I've felt lost before and I lost someone that went through me, through that loss with me. So I, I kind of

• 1:50:24Speaker 01

  just wanted to touch on both of those things, just because I know they can be, it's something that a lot of people go through, losing a pet, losing a loved one, and then obviously, you know, losing a pregnancy and going through a miscarriage and, and so.

• 1:50:39Jay Shetty?

  Thank you for the courage and bravery to share that with us here today for, for the first time publicly beyond friends and family. And when, when I was listening to you Taylor, I was just thinking like, I appreciate just the level of complexity and layers that you're willing to kind of look at this from, whether it's personally, others, everyone. I mean, I was saying to you that I've had multiple friends in the last two to three years who've all experienced a miscarriage. And I talk to them and I'll hear from them and I see so much just.

• 1:51:19Jay Shetty?

  Stress, overwhelm, pressure,

• 1:51:23Jay Shetty?

  self degradation, like, you know, just negative self talk. Like, it's one of the hardest things to go through, even if everyone goes through it, as you say, or not everyone, but so many people go through it, it doesn't make it any easier. And often, actually, like you said, it makes you so lonely that you don't want to talk to anyone about it.

• 1:51:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:51:42Jay Shetty?

  And it's not comforting to know other people have gone through it. And I wonder, in that lonely phase, like, what was it that did help you? And even when your friend went through it, what allowed you to be there for each other in a way that was comforting and helpful, rather than felt uncomfortable and unhealthy?

• 1:52:03Speaker 01

  I needed to be alone.

• 1:52:06Speaker 01

  I needed to feel it. I needed to sit in it. I didn't want to talk about it.

• 1:52:17Speaker 01

  Because I didn't want, people want to be there for you. And that's really special and that's really helpful. But I didn't want people to be there for me yet. I wasn't ready for people to be like, oh, I'm so sorry. Or, you know, because people don't know what to say sometimes when it comes to grief or loss. Sometimes I don't know what to say either. I have no idea how to react to some things still. Having experienced my own version of grief,

• 1:52:50Speaker 01

  how do you be there for somebody?

• 1:52:54Speaker 01

  It's a difficult thing. I mean, I didn't know how I needed, why I didn't know what I needed from people.

• 1:53:04Speaker 01

  I didn't want to talk about it. I wanted to be alone. I didn't want anyone to know because I didn't want people to talk to me about it or say things to me because I just wasn't ready to hear it yet.

• 1:53:16Speaker 01

  And the way that I think.

• 1:53:20Speaker 01

  I told people that were really, really close to me, really. My husband obviously knew because it happened to him too. Um, and my two best friends knew and the way that I feel like they were there for me because they didn't know what to say. They didn't say anything. They were there for me physically. They held me. They let me cry. I just sat there and I cried and said nothing. And they just held my hand and were like, just sat there with me and like let me cry. They didn't ask me questions. They didn't ask me how I felt. They didn't ask.

• 1:54:02Speaker 01

  They didn't say anything to me like, they didn't say, everything happens for a reason. Don't worry. Like you'll feel one day, da, da, da. They didn't go into that. I think because they know me so well. They probably knew that I didn't want to hear that yet.

• 1:54:18Speaker 01

  They just were there and they listened when I was ready to talk and then because I wasn't ready, they just let me emote. And they just let me cry and

• 1:54:32Speaker 01

  they cried and I could tell because I was hurt. They were hurt. You know, my, my, when I finally got to my husband and we were together, he just held me. We both cried and he just held me and you know, I held him too because I think that's another thing is another layer on top of it is

• 1:54:52Speaker 01

  even though it physically happened to me and emotionally was something that I experienced. It was it was an individual experience to myself emotionally. It's something that it's a loss that happened to him as well. He also thought potentially he would be having a child. So we were both grieving something. We were both grieving the loss of. Of this, we were both feeling this weird sense of relief at the same time and then immediately guilty because we felt relief and then immediately anger because we felt guilt and you know what I mean, it's just, it's relentless, these emotions when it's fresh, you know, you feel literally every single one that's on the rainbow of all the colors, we felt, we felt all of them.

• 1:55:36Speaker 01

  And I think when it's, when it was the very beginning, I think for me, it was just holding pe- people holding me, you know, being in, just being in the space with me, they didn't have to say anything. If they didn't know what to say, you know?

• 1:55:53Speaker 01

  And

• 1:55:56Speaker 01

  when we did sort of start talking about it, I, I, we first started saying,

• 1:56:03Speaker 01

  this sucks, I can't believe this is happening, um, you know, it was, if I was feeling angry, then they would be angry with me, if I was, the, if I was sad, then they were sad with me, um, so it was ama- they were amazing at being there for me in those ways. And, you know, I think it is difficult to know what to say and how to be there for someone, but I think following them and how they're reacting is also really good, like taking the cue from how they're responding is a good way to respond back to someone. And, you know, checking in, you know, my, my friends that knew checked in with me, how are you feeling today?

• 1:56:49Speaker 01

  You know, and then if I didn't want to talk about, they were like, okay, let me know when you are ready, you know?

• 1:56:53Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, we're here.

• 1:56:54Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm, so just, you know, they were checking in, you know, making sure, and then, you know, my, my best friend, she, who, she experienced this as well, she-

• 1:57:07Speaker 01

  Continues to check in with me, you know, this is three years later and we still talk about it. Oh my gosh, like, can you believe it? You would have a three-year-old. I'm like, I know. And it's just, we, we get to have these moments together of we would both have a three-year-old right now. That's, and we, we think about that and we deal with that and we grieve that and we grieve the loss of that potential and that direction in life, you know, that thread that didn't happen in this path. So, um, female friendships are incredible and they're beautiful. And I think it's really important for women to have women in their life that they can, they can go to and they can talk to about these things.

• 1:57:50Speaker 01

  Because we can relate to each other in other ways that I think, you know, you, I couldn't get from my husband. And being able to go to her was so special, um, and really helpful. So I just, I think also have patience with, with yourself. And if you know someone who's going through that, have patience with them because it's a roller coaster. And, you know, she was my, my friend, she was going through this too. And I was feeling emotions and I was feeling heartbroken because I know, cause she was heartbroken. So I was feeling emotions as well and I just have to be patient because the, it, it's happening to her.

• 1:58:35Speaker 01

  So at her pace, at her time, when she's ready, when she wants to hear, when she wants to talk about it, we can. And we both kind of just, we both shared that understanding with each other.

• 1:58:50Jay Shetty?

  Something powerful, really powerful that you said was, I wasn't ready for someone to be there for me yet. And I think that's such a really remarkable insight. As I was listening to you, I was thinking, often when we see people who are struggling. Because their struggle causes us discomfort.

• 1:59:11Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 1:59:11Jay Shetty?

  We wanna solve it for them.

• 1:59:13Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 1:59:14Jay Shetty?

  And so if I'm speaking to a friend who's like, oh, you know, my friend's going through this or my partner's going through this and they're spiraling. And we're so uncomfortable with their discomfort that we wanna fix it to relieve our own discomfort.

• 1:59:26Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 1:59:27Jay Shetty?

  Not realizing that that person may need to feel and experience all of it.

• 1:59:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:59:32Jay Shetty?

  And and to let it all out in their own way.

• 1:59:34Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 1:59:35Jay Shetty?

  And I love what you just said of I just wasn't ready for someone to be there for me yet. And I think that's a great note for all of us to ask ourselves, like, am I ready for someone to be there for me yet? And if I'm trying to help someone, are they truly ready for me to be there for them?

• 1:59:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:59:56Jay Shetty?

  And one of the things that I've seen in, and you mentioned as well, when we were talking, this idea about how there's so much pressure also on the couple.

• 2:00:05Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 2:00:05Jay Shetty?

  So there's, you're both individually dealing with loss and grief. But then there's like a dynamic that you go through with each other.

• 2:00:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:00:17Jay Shetty?

  Because you're both at different spaces of healing, you're both at different timelines, the waves come differently, it's affected both of you, but then you're both trying to be there for each other, like, it's quite a unique relation, uh, it's quite a unique situation.

• 2:00:31Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 2:00:32Jay Shetty?

  Walk us through how you navigated that overwhelming pressure and feeling together as well, and what did it take to to reconnect? And, I mean, I don't even think it's finding normalcy, it's like evolving, but what does that look like? This episode is brought to you by State Farm. We talk a lot about intentional decision making, and that extends to the practical stuff, too, like making sure your coverage actually works for your life. State Farm is there to meet you where you are, and they know how sweet it is to feel good about your decisions. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer.

• 2:01:17Jay Shetty?

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• 2:01:21Speaker 05

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  I'm not the first then.

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• 2:01:52Speaker 01

  I mean, my husband is so kind. He's so... He's very gentle. He's very...

• 2:02:02Speaker 01

  He's very understanding. He knows I'm an emotional person. He knows I feel things deeply,

• 2:02:10Speaker 01

  like heavily, and he knows that I was distraught, you know? He could see that I was...

• 2:02:22Speaker 01

  I'm even feeling it now, you know, just...

• 2:02:27Speaker 01

  All these different things all at the same time, and...

• 2:02:32Speaker 01

  He's a supportive partner to me. And I think what was really helpful for us was...

• 2:02:43Speaker 01

  You know, I think he had a really great understanding, and he's...

• 2:02:48Speaker 01

  He was so wonderful during those times for me.

• 2:02:57Speaker 01

  I think for him, he understood, okay, this is something that... He's like, okay, I'm feeling... I also can't speak for him, obviously, because these are his feelings and his journey as well. So, as I'm saying this, it's more just like collectively what, you know, we both went through. It was the shared experience that I'm touching on. And things that he did say and express to me. So, you know, I felt that he had a really great understanding of... You know, equal, the equal amount of heartbreak of loss, you know, he was feeling that too. And we got, we had a shared experience in that.

• 2:03:38Speaker 01

  And I think he also had a really great understanding of this is physically happening to her as well as it is emotionally happening to her. He knew it would take me longer to gain perspective, to start my healing process, to, you know, be able to adjust or, you know, process my emotions, just because I think, you know, he said to me, you know, whatever I feel like I'm feeling, I know you're feeling it tenfold. I know what you're going through is a physical reaction in your body of change.

• 2:04:18Speaker 01

  And then the change of becoming pregnant, the change of losing that pregnancy, the, the emotional change from all of those things. So for us, it was really helpful that he was super understanding. And, you know, he's really great at navigating emotion as well. Um, and I think it was helpful for me when he talked about it with me. When he would say things like, today is the day it happened and he's reminding me and he's the one talking about it, it makes me feel less alone that he still remembers it, that he still carries it with him.

• 2:05:04Speaker 01

  Because sometimes, you know, we, just because it's,

• 2:05:10Speaker 01

  we've had some time and we've had some, some distance, I know I carry this with me forever. You know, I know I will because this happened to me in more ways than one. And I worry sometimes, you know, or I did that, well, maybe he won't feel that way. Like maybe he'll move on faster, maybe he'll forget about it, maybe all these things. And, and then you feel sad and, you know,

• 2:05:34Speaker 01

  different emotions around that. And like, I know that that can be really complicated in a dynamic of loss of they're moving on. Oh, they're forgetting about this, they're not talking about this anymore. So for me, what was really helpful is because I know that he went through this too. I love that he checks in with me. I love that he talks about it with me. I love that he also says things like, can you believe we would maybe have had a three-year-old?

• 2:05:59Speaker 01

  Oh my god, you think about that too? It made me feel so seen, like so heard and that he sees me all the time, you know? He sees when people, we've been married for almost a year now, so he sees when people make comments like, oh, when are you guys gonna have kids or are you thinking about having kids? And people ask, you know, it's a harmless question and I understand why people ask it and it's, it's, I'm not angry that people ask that question. I think it's part of society. You know, people wanna talk about it, you know, people are excited about having, starting families. If we, we wanna start a family, which we do, and we've spoken with our friends that we would wanna have a family one day.

• 2:06:42Speaker 01

  So I understand why they're asking us those questions, but not everybody knows that I went through this. And at that time, I mean, now maybe everybody, everybody will know I went through this. I wasn't ready for everybody to know that I was going through this and I had to deal with those questions internally. And it was painful to hear those questions. You know, people would make comments because a lot of my friends had babies during COVID and everyone was like, oh, you know, everyone had all these babies, you know, during COVID and everyone was getting pregnant and I did, and I was pregnant and I didn't have a baby. So I would hear comments like that, I would hear things like that. Oh, also people assume that maybe I have had a kid and they just don't know yet.

• 2:07:26Speaker 01

  Oh, did, did you have a kid? Were you one of those girls during COVID that had a kid? And I'm like, oh god, I know what you mean when you're saying that, but you have no idea. No, I'm, I'm, I guess I'm not. So he would sort of see me and like see that I was dealing with that internally and trying to process socializing and, you know, navigating these.

• 2:07:53Speaker 01

  Comments because it's nobody's fault that they're asking it, you know, it's it's just normal, it's just life, right? So I have to, I do have to grow from this, I have to be able to handle this, I have to be able to talk about this again, I do have to be able to be okay. And I I wasn't always okay, and I think he saw that I wasn't always okay. And I could tell that he was hurt when I was hurt, I could tell that he he was feeling what I was feeling, you know? And I also shared it with him too, because people can't read your mind. You know, this is my partner, this is my life partner. Um, this is a person that I decided that I want to spend life with and do life with. So I have to do life with them, right?

• 2:08:37Speaker 01

  So I have to make a point to share, today I'm feeling extra bad because it's the week of my miscarriage, it's the anniversary week, I'm not gonna feel good this week. You know, I say that, I express that, he cannot read my mind, he has no idea what I'm feeling unless I'm saying it. So, you know, I, it's a two-way street, um, that I share with him and that he sees me and he understands me, so, and he does, he's really great at understanding how I emote, you know, my tells, my, you know, physical things that maybe I do, where he's like, she's nervous, she's upset, I could tell she's holding back tears right now.

• 2:09:20Speaker 01

  He helps remove me from said situation, you know, so, um, learning each other and sharing with each other, and he he knows those things, and he he's been able to learn those things because I've shared them with him and I've shown him and told him and vice versa. He's shared with me and told me and shown me, um, how I can care and love and be there for him. So, um, I think just for a a couple in this scenario, however you're dealing with the loss of a pregnancy or a child, because I know people conceive in many different ways. And there's a lot of stress in in starting a family on on multiple different types of relationships and partners and spouses and how you're going about it and how you're dealing

• 2:10:02Speaker 01

  with and what you're going through and and, you know, what you're doing with each other and how your, that your journey with with that is, um, is unique to you, to to your, both of your situations, and the way that you guys communicate with each other is is important and and learning each other and.

• 2:10:23Speaker 01

  Asking for something is, there's no, there's nothing wrong with asking for something and then they're able to adjust and do that for you. So I feel like that's something that I've learned as well is being open and making sure I'm sharing and, you know, he's really great at just innately because we've known each other and we're, we're, we love each other. He's, he's good at, you know, knowing and figuring out those little things that I do for himself and just seeing me. But also I've shared a lot with him and he listens and he adapts and he changes from those things for me and does those things for me. So, I think that communication is probably the number one most important thing and

• 2:11:06Speaker 01

  also the most difficult thing. I know communicating is so difficult. How do you be vulnerable? How do you share these things? Am I ready to talk about this? Do I want to say this? And, you know, I, I don't know. I think just say it and, and, and ask for it and communicate it because again, you know, they may, may have no idea that that's even going on in your head and they have something completely different going on in their head.

• 2:11:30Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, no, it's, it's so true. And I appreciate you sharing that because I think a lot of people are both dealing with the grief and then they're dealing with the loss of the relationship they had. And the one they thought they were gonna have when they had a child together as well. And so communication's at the core and the heart of all of that because it's so multilayered and so complex. Taylor, as, as I was listening to you and I asked this question very sensitively and I ask it in order to hopefully help people who are listening as well, like where, where, how do you refine the confidence to want to think about a family again and try again? Because I, and I ask it very sincerely and senses sensitively, thinking about people listening who are like,

• 2:12:14Jay Shetty?

  I don't think I can ever try it because it was so painful. And that's generally a human reaction to pain of it was so painful, I can't go there again. Yet I have this desire to have a family. Like, how, how for you do you know when you're ready to think about it again even or open up to the idea?

• 2:12:31Speaker 01

  I know I want one. I, I don't think I've.

• 2:12:35Speaker 01

  I don't think I'm there yet. I haven't, I don't know actually if I've confronted that for myself, you know, I don't think I've, I've gone there where one day I'm gonna be trying to have a family and you know, maybe that stick is gonna say pregnant, is it gonna bring back all these emotions and how am I gonna deal with that again? Oh gosh, I have no idea because you know, I'm not there yet. I'm, I'm still not ready for a child and I'm, and I'm not ready to think about it and I'm not ready to start having a family and I don't know when that is and you know, a lot of people who've had children are like, you'll never know, the timing's never right, all this stuff and everyone's journey is different and that

• 2:13:20Speaker 01

  I, I, I have no plan. I have no timeline of when I'm gonna start a family, when I'm gonna do that, how I'm gonna do it. I, I don't know. And I also have no idea what I'm about to confront when I start trying again, you know? Is it gonna be really easy? Am I gonna have, is it gonna be fine? Did this scenario happen to me simply because of the IUD or will I experience this again because you know, a pregnancy is, is a new organism in your body. It's like a technically, I don't know, it's, I could only, I think of it maybe as almost like a bacteria that's like, it's introducing like a new thing inside of your body and

• 2:13:58Speaker 01

  a miscarriage is a rejection of that, your body being like, that shouldn't be here. What is this? This is new. And sometimes it, it takes time to adjust, your body has to be like, oh, that's what that is. So maybe it takes a couple of tries and you know, that's why your body's doing that. I don't know why my body did that, probably the IUD most likely. If doctors are listening, they'll probably be like, oh, it's the IUD. That's why. I was like, okay, okay, fine. That's why, but um, I, I guess I'll sort of, I, maybe I'll be able to speak on that more when I'm in, in the headspace of actively trying or if and when I do have a child, like to be able to touch on that again, but I think I'm nervous. You know, I'm, I do have fears about

• 2:14:42Speaker 01

  Getting to that stage in my life and I'm worried about what I'm gonna start feeling when um I am pregnant again. I want to enjoy the process. I want to be you know, excited. I want to feel all of those things, but unfortunately because of what I've I went through, I know that in the beginning I won't. I'll feel fear. I'm gonna be afraid. I know I'm gonna be scared. I know I'm gonna have like anxiety about it until who knows when, maybe the entire pregnancy. I don't know, but um I know I've been through this before. I I know I can handle this. I'm stronger because of this. If it happens to me again, I'm gonna be okay. Um, you know, look at how far I've come. Look at what I

• 2:15:27Speaker 01

  how I handled this, like what we went through, like I I have confidence in that at least, but I I also I I have no idea what what that is gonna look like for me until I start doing that or until it happens. So you know, I would I I would say for me, well, how I can rationalize it is

• 2:15:50Speaker 01

  I'm stronger because of this. I've handled, I've I've been through this, this thing and I've I've dealt with something that was really difficult for me personally to to go through and I came out the other side. Whether or not I'm fully done yet, we don't know. We'll we'll figure it out when we get there, but right now, all I can say is I feel confident that I'll I'm gonna, I know I'm gonna be okay no matter what. I'm gonna be okay. I can get through anything. I can do this, like I have a great support in my husband, in my family, in my friends. They were all there for me. They showed their love and support. I was there for me. I was there for myself.

• 2:16:33Speaker 01

  I showed up, you know, so I know I can show up for myself. I know I can be there. I know I can pick myself back up again and start walking and make it, you know, make those steps towards healing again. So we're resilient as people, as as humans and having faith in our resilience and in our strength and and in our ability to find healing and find growth. I think we forget and we doubt ourselves sometimes that we can do that. We can do we can get through that.

• 2:17:04Jay Shetty?

  Thank you for such an honest answer. I feel like, I feel like a lot of people will be able to resonate and connect with that, this idea of, I don't know, I'll see when I get there, don't even if I'm ready to answer that question. And I think, I think people listening to that will feel a sense of relief because I think that naturally, again, like you said, when, when you go through it, you have to get into tactical mode of, how do we make sure it's done and clean and everything's okay? And then we get into, okay, how do I start? And it's, you almost don't give yourself that space. So, thank you so much for giving everyone space by even having that answer. It's, it's really beautiful and powerful to hear. Taylor, you've been so gracious and kind with your time today, with your energy, with your soul, like, I really feel like you've let us in, which is so kind. I really hope you feel we've honored Tate

• 2:17:50Jay Shetty?

  and given a chance for you to express your love for Tate and also honored your experiences. And, you know, I feel like with

• 2:18:01Jay Shetty?

  your, your whole career and everything, it's almost like I find that, you know, when you've been modeling from such a young age and you've been in the public eye, like, so much of your career becomes about

• 2:18:12Jay Shetty?

  your looks, your age, your, you know, those things become big. And as you transform and evolve as a human too, as you're starting, you know, Tate and Taylor and you're starting a company or you've started a company that's doing all this incredible, purposeful work and you've built a content platform and a platform where people can find amazing products, amazing services, amazing partnerships for their pets and their dogs and everything else, like, walk us through how you see that evolution for yourself of coming from an industry in a space that is defined by these external things of looks and age and fitness and everything, and then finding your path through that now.

• 2:18:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think, you know, they really play such a big role with each other. I think why I even wanted to start Tate and Taylor and start a business and be in the pet space, obviously, I have a huge passion for animals and dogs. Like this is so much more to me than just a company. I'm doing this because this is absolutely 100% like the thing I love most in the world is my dog Tate and my dog Salem I have now too. And They're just so incredible and amazing and they change, they've changed my life in so many ways and even Salem now has impacted my life in so many different ways than Tate did and I'm so excited about the journey and the the life that I'm gonna live with him and the things he's about to teach me and show

• 2:19:33Speaker 01

  me and I don't think I would even be able to know how to do that and build something with intention and purpose if I hadn't had my career before, you know, I started modeling when I was 14. I don't have a traditional education in that sense, but I've learned so much from from my job and from working at a young age and traveling the world and having so many experiences. I feel like I learned by by doing and you know, by being able to see how things work and you know, people producing fashion collections and watching them make the clothes on me to walking in the fashion

• 2:20:15Speaker 01

  show and seeing how things are done is really interesting and being a part of a of a photo shoot and all the different areas and everyone has a different job and seeing how it all comes together and how everybody works and all the puzzle pieces kind of like, you know, as I'm sure you know, it's just like, it's interesting and there's a lot of different layers to what goes into something like a photo shoot or, you know, a campaign or a video or a movie or, you know, a fashion show and it was really fun and exciting for me to witness and and see those things and do those things and, you know, I think modeling has been, it is a lot about, it is about physically what I look like 100%

• 2:20:57Speaker 01

  like I'm a model because of how I look. I know that. So it's an interesting thing to go from, you know, I I'm here because of how I look, but also I feel like after a certain extent, I'm still here because of who I am and I'm still here and people continue hopefully to work with me because we have fun together and we build relationships and they get to know me and it becomes more than just this. You know, surface transaction of she looks a certain way, she fits the bill physically of what we're looking for, so we're gonna book her. I think after fourteen years, you know, you start knowing people and establishing relationships and becoming friends with people in the industry and then people wanna work with you because they like you, they like

• 2:21:40Speaker 01

  hanging out with you. You're it's it's like a lot of industries, you know what I mean? The more you are in it, the more you do it, the more friends you make, the more connections you feel like you have with people and the less it becomes about how you look and it becomes a lot about who you are, actually, like the the my interpretation of my career in modeling, I feel like it's been with people that I enjoy working with and I get to work with them again and again and again and I love that. I love that I now know so many people in the industry and every time I get a call sheet, not every time, but I get these call sheets and I see who's gonna be on set and I'm like, oh, my God, I haven't seen this person in, you know, however many years and I'm so excited to work with them again

• 2:22:19Speaker 01

  and do that. So to me, it's maybe it starts off that way and and modeling is is about the way that I look and and how I physically am, but then I think it becomes a lot deeper than that. So, you know, people establishing those connections with me as like taught me how to to grow and and, you know, and change and just they've taught me so much about life and different different backgrounds and different people and different things. So, um, you know, I learned so much from it and I've grown so much from it and, um, you know, wanting to start my own business, I feel like I'm able to do that because of everything that I've done in in my modeling career and I really just I see them so much

• 2:23:04Speaker 01

  a part of each other and I want to be in the pet space and have this this business because it's something that I also love to do. Like, I love my job, I love modeling and I really believe in pursuing things that you love to do. And, you know, maybe I won't be a model forever. I have no idea because it's, um, Is that a very consistent lifestyle as much as I love it? I'm, you never know. I, you know, I just got a text message today that I'm going to Paris on Thursday. So, you know, maybe if, when I do start trying to have a family and if I have a family and my family is growing and growing and growing, or, you know, I have all these hopes

• 2:23:45Speaker 01

  and dreams to have a big family, it'll be more difficult to do my modeling career to the extent that I'm doing it now. And I, I also love dogs and I love my dog and I love, you know, animals and I love that people love their animals. And I wanted to create something that I wish existed with my life and my journey and path with Tate. And I'm creating something that I really want and need with Salem, my, my new dog now that I rescued and, because we're going through so many different things and I'm so excited to, you know, have, be able to build on the experience I've had from modeling

• 2:24:26Speaker 01

  and apply it to what I'm doing now with Tate and Taylor and build something with purpose, build something with, you know, meaning, something that I'm passionate about doing, something that I love. It's, it's my lifestyle. It's, you know, I'm that crazy dog lady that every time I see a dog on the street, I'm like, hello, how are you? Nice to meet you. What's your name? I just, I love dogs and I love animals in general too. So I, I really think that dogs are connectors and I've met a lot of people and had so many amazing, interesting conversations because of our dogs. If you're out walking your dog and people stop you, oh my God, what kind of dog is that? Oh my God, he's so beautiful. You know, are they a boy or are they a girl? What's their name? And, and the next thing you know, you're having a full-blown conversation with a complete

• 2:25:11Speaker 01

  and total stranger, but I feel like I'm in a safe space, you know? It's, it's really interesting and I, as a shy, I started out really shy and kind of an introverted person, having Tate, everybody loved him. People were like, oh my God, that's the cutest dog I've ever seen. And I, I had to open up. I had to have conversations with people and he helped me do that and he helped me connect with people and, you know, someone that works with me on Tate and Taylor, I met through Tate in my building, you know, because we had like a doggy playdate group chat in the building and she invited us and, you know, our dogs were playing and we connected and now she's helping me, you know, build.

• 2:25:53Speaker 01

  Bill Tate and Taylor, so I love dogs. I think that there's, they're just amazing and, and they're connectors. And it's something that I, I love so much and find so much joy in. And I hope that people, you know, receive that and see that and are excited about it because, you know, I'm really passionate about how I take care of my dog and the, the love I want to give him. I want to give, give him the best life possible because they're not with us forever is, you know, I, I know very well and I want to cherish every single second I possibly can with them. And I know so many pet, pet people and people who have pets want, want that as well. And, you know, there's definitely a lack of, uh,

• 2:26:34Speaker 01

  community, I think, in the pet industry. There is community, but there's not like a place. I feel like there, there wasn't a place to go for information, to connect to other people. And I really hope to build that and grow Tate and Taylor into something where people feel like, this is happening to me and I don't know what to do. Maybe we can help you figure that out. So that's sort of the intention in doing what we're doing. You know, we have the, the online store. We're like curating products. We're looking for amazing founders and brands and people who are doing innovative things in the pet space with, whether that's treats that are with really great, great quality. We have women-owned businesses. I love the idea of supporting women and, um, you know,

• 2:27:15Speaker 01

  young, cool entrepreneurs doing really interesting things and maybe helping do that together and giving them a, a space and a platform to showcase and talk about their product and why it's great and, and why it's different and, you know, help them sort of just like share what they're doing with the world because there's so many passionate, you know, entrepreneurs out there who are starting these companies in the pet space. And they're so dedicated and they have just as much passion and love as I do for their dogs. And, and they've gone through something completely different than maybe I've gone through with Tate, you know? So it's really interesting to be able to, um, speak with businesses and speak with, you know, founders about why they started their company, what their goal and what their mission, their drive is,

• 2:27:59Speaker 01

  why they're doing what they're doing, you know, challenges they've faced as women in the industry as, you know, um. Just an entrepreneur, being an entrepreneur in general, there's, there's so many things that, you know, we're, we would, we wanna touch on in, in that space that I think there's just, I felt like it wasn't there when I was going through that with Tate, you know, and I really wanna create that for people and, and bring people together and have it be fun and, you know, really easy and exciting, you know, to care and like find cool products and great, and things that work that, that, you know, we like for our pets. So, yeah.

• 2:28:37Jay Shetty?

  That's a really powerful.

• 2:28:38Speaker 01

  Hard stop.

• 2:28:38Jay Shetty?

  No, it's a really powerful intention and powerful mission and it's, it's so clear and evident. And I feel like you're gonna revolutionize the pet space. It's, it's, it's obvious that your, your drive and passion is true. And a couple of lessons I took away just listening to you. One was this idea, I think we live in a world where when we discover something we're passionate about, we like to discount our past experience and make it seem like, oh, now I've found it. Whatever I did before was kind of like, it was there, but now I've found it. And what I love hearing about from you, and, and I definitely resonate with what you said. It's like actually every stage of your career unlocks the opportunity, the ability, the ideas, the resources, the

• 2:29:21Jay Shetty?

  connectivity to do the next thing. And I think if anyone out there is right now, you're listening, and you're going, I hate my job, I hate where I am, I don't like what I'm doing, I promise you there's some skill or some lesson or some person or some contact that you met through that that could help you build the next part of yourself. And overall, your, your business and your venture in this direction you've gone in is truly a journey of pain to purpose, of passion to purpose, of using your platform for a purpose. And I think that it's such a beautiful example that so many of us, no matter what our pains are, what our stresses are, what our challenges are, that we can transform them into an offering to help other people who are going through the same thing.

• 2:30:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, I, I'm building a brand with, um, with intention, I think, and with a purpose to give back and help, I think, is really important and something that especially in the pet space, I felt was lacking. Because there's so many areas I would love to tap into, you know, just beyond the, um, cancer funding and, um, maybe even cancer research and getting into that and understanding why and how and, you know, and as well as rescue, you know, we work with rescue organizations and my Salem, my, my dog Salem is a rescue and, and that's an experience that he's been teaching me about and something that I want, I want to

• 2:30:45Speaker 01

  make a change and make an impact in. I think for me with Tate and Taylor, the most important thing about this business is using it to make, make an impact and do good things with it and, and use it to help people and help others and help dogs, you know, help people who have dogs or, you know, hopefully animals, pets in general, we're, we'll get there one day. If you have an iguana, great, maybe we'll be able to help you with that. I don't know. Um, who knows where it's gonna go. That's what's so exciting. It's so new and it's so fresh and right now we're dogs right now. So I'm obviously talking about dogs because that's what we are doing currently. Um, I do have the hope and the optimism and the intention to want to do as much as I possibly can.

• 2:31:30Speaker 01

  Um, but you know, I'm gonna focus on one thing and then we can start growing from there and building on top of that. So, um, in the pet space, there's just so much that I want to do and so much I want to accomplish and I want to be able to build something that, that helps, most importantly. And that does give back and that does have a drive and does have a cause because there is a drive and there is a cause and there is a reason behind everything that I'm doing and it's Tate. It's dedicated to him, it's dedicated to everything he taught me, the love I know he has for me, the love I have for him.

• 2:32:08Speaker 01

  And it's for everyone who's ever felt that way about a dog or a pet in their life. It's a dedication to that. It's a dedication to that feeling and knowing. You want to take care of something, you love something so deeply, so do we. We know that feeling, we understand that. And we want to make something and build something with you that is impactful and and meaningful and helpful and connective. And hopefully, we can, you know, build a great community and have incredible resources for people. So, you know, this is just the beginning of our of our journey with it. And I'm really, really excited about it, so.

• 2:32:44Jay Shetty?

  Well, congratulations, Taylor. And we end every episode of On Purpose with a fast five, which have to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum.

• 2:32:53Speaker 01

  I talk a lot. You might have noticed from that.

• 2:32:57Jay Shetty?

  So, Taylor Hill, these are your final five. Question one is, what is the best advice you've ever heard or received?

• 2:33:04Speaker 01

  Best advice is, do what you love and the rest will come. My dad told me that.

• 2:33:10Jay Shetty?

  Great answer. All right, question number two, what is the worst advice you've ever heard or received?

• 2:33:15Speaker 01

  Maybe if you ignore it, it'll go away or something.

• 2:33:19Jay Shetty?

  That's a good one.

• 2:33:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's absolutely not true.

• 2:33:22Jay Shetty?

  Good answer. Question number three, what's the first thing you do every morning and the last thing you do every night?

• 2:33:30Speaker 01

  Well, I'm really not a morning person, so first thing in the morning, I'm like, why am I awake? What's that alarm? What's happening? I'm very disoriented first thing in the morning. And I think I drink coffee. I need to have a cup of coffee. I'm not a morning person. And then at night, I love snuggling with my dog, kissing Salem. And in the past, you know, kissing Tate, having our good night cuddles. You know, if I'm at home with my husband, this is more than one sentence. I've already failed. You know, saying good night and, you know, having our connection with him.

• 2:34:12Jay Shetty?

  Question number four, what's something you learned lately? Something, a skill that you picked up, a lesson that you learned recently?

• 2:34:22Speaker 01

  Not that recent, but lately, I've been learning how to cook and doing it better.

• 2:34:26Jay Shetty?

  Cool.

• 2:34:27Speaker 01

  Cooking more and being better at it, but that's taken time.

• 2:34:31Jay Shetty?

  Nice. It does take time. Fifth and final question, if you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?

• 2:34:40Speaker 01

  Always grow, you know, always.

• 2:34:43Speaker 01

  Be willing to grow and change. I don't know how to apply that as a law, but I think growth is so important. And acknowledging past mistakes and growing and changing from them is really important, something I'm still learning and trying to do. But I think if we can all work on that and do that, maybe the world could be a better place.

• 2:35:04Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely. Well said. Taylor, hello, everyone. Taylor, thank you so much for sharing your heart, your soul, your beautiful experiences. Thank you for being so open and honest with our community and everyone who's been listening and watching. I know that this will have affected you. I know you have friends and family who have been through some of these experiences that Taylor shared with us. Please pass this episode on to them, maybe even sit and listen to it with them and hold them through it. I would love for you to use this episode as a way of having some of those uncomfortable, difficult conversations. And of course, check out Tate and Taylor. I can't wait for you to give your dogs all the love that they deserve. And I want to say a big thank you again to Taylor for her presence, love and energies.

• 2:35:44Speaker 01

  Thank you very much. I'm happy to have been here. Thank you.

• 2:35:47Jay Shetty?

  If you love this episode, you will also love my interview with Kendall Jenner on setting boundaries to increase happiness and healing your inner child.

• 2:35:57Speaker 03

  You could be reading something that someone is saying about you and being like, that is so unfair because that's not who I am. And that really gets to me sometimes. But then looking at myself in the mirror and being like, but I know who I am. Why does anything else matter?

• 2:36:09Speaker 07

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid and risked 350,000 Virginians' health care to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the House Majority PAC dot com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.

• 2:36:38Speaker 05

  Mr. President, my company informed me of the explosion on our rig on October 2nd. Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all heap the blame on me. Tom Cruise is.

• 2:36:49Speaker 06

  Digger got us into this mess. And Digger's gonna dig us up. From the director of Birdman and the Revenant.

• 2:36:55Speaker 02

  What would happen if I stopped growing? You start, you freeze to death, that's what.

• 2:36:59Speaker 06

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 2:37:02Speaker 02

  I'm not the first daddy.

• 2:37:03Speaker 06

  Digger. See the trailer online. Only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17. Not a middle without parent.