Moment 80 - Bear Grylls: The Trick I Use To Find Confidence

In these ‘Moment’ episodes of my podcast, I’ll be selecting my favourite moments from previous episodes of The Diary Of A CEO. In this moment, Bear Grylls tells us how to find lasting confidence. It’s incredible to think that someone like Bear - who’s a veteran of the SAS and conquered every challenge nature has had throw at him - struggles with Imposter Syndrome, but in this clip he reveals his journey to find confidence. Real confidence, according to Bear, comes from accepting that life will humble you, that life is often a battle, that sometimes you’ll lose as well as win. Only then can you appreciate the importance of doing your best, or DYB as Bear calls it. Because really going for things that we want without fear is, in the end, all we can do. Listen to the full episode here - https://g2ul0.app.link/UgDYEktWhub Bear: https://www.beargrylls.com https://www.instagram.com/beargrylls/?hl=en Wait list for The Diary - Add your name here: bit.ly/3fUcF8q Watch the Episodes On Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/c/TheDiaryOfACEO/videos Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:03Steven Bartlett?

  When you say confidence, how do you define confidence? Because some people think of confidence as this overt, external expression of self-assurance. What did you mean when you said, "I didn't have confidence and it's still an ongoing battle"? What is that?

• 0:17Speaker 01

  I think it's not what the world always thinks. Like you say, we always have this thing of confidence, as you say, it's this, unstoppable, I can do anything. I think life is always humbling, in every way, just like the wild. The mountains are humbling. The real things in life are humbling. She reminds us that it's often a battle. And you've got to sometimes put your head down and do your best. And you're going to fail and you're going to struggle and you're going to have doubts and you're going to have self-doubt. But try and get your feet and keep going.

• 0:49Speaker 01

  And I think that is confidence. Confidence is the quiet stuff and the honesty and to say, "This is a struggle, but let's go. Let's do our best." I love that thing of the scouts, "Do your best", which is so smart, because I think so much of the world is about be the best, win, number one. But actually, that doesn't always stand the pressure test of time and of life and of going for big things that are always going to be humbling. And I think the thing of do your best, it's dib, dib, dib, D Y B, do your best. I love that because wherever you're at, you can do that. It's a decision, isn't it?

• 1:34Speaker 01

  It's not a gift. It's not something we're born with, like the looks or the academic or the sport. It's something you've got to summon. And I like that.

• 1:43Steven Bartlett?

  What were the symptoms of having a lack of confidence when you were that age? What would it look like? How did it manifest itself?

• 1:49Speaker 01

  I think probably just being quite shy. And I think you see the people at school always, the bigger personalities. And it was always like, gosh, you've got to be like that to get anywhere. And it's a life journey, isn't it, to realise? It's almost the opposite. It's almost the opposite. You know, the quiet, the persevering, relentlessly trying to pick yourself up through the failures and keep going and know the wealth of life, the wealth is always found in our relationships. And, you know, you come across people who are rich in friendships and, you know, rich in passion and love what they do and love the people they work with and, you know, and that's

• 2:32Speaker 01

  enough. That's wonderful. But it takes a bit of unlearning, doesn't it, of saying, you know, the people not always to look up to aren't always the front and centre. And as I get older, I see more and more heroes, left, right and centre. Well, more left and right rather than centre, you know, and I love that. I sort of see it in people and, you know, I see it in our camera crew. I mean, look at, look at what's been a core part of my job for however many years, many years now, you know, the filming and stuff. And, you know, the focus is always on the person in front of the screen and, you know, that horrible word of talent, as they call it. I never felt very talented, still don't.

• 3:14Speaker 01

  Still feel I'm surrounded by way more talented people. But it's, life isn't a competition about who's more talented. It's a, it's a journey to take with great friends. And I look at our camera crew and to me, true heroes, you know, they work harder, they carry heavier weights, you know, unsung, you know, relentlessly positive, carry me many times, you know, in so many ways, encourage me when, when I've been struggling. And I look at them and still brothers and sisters, best friends to this day. I think it's probably the thing I'm most proud of in my career, actually, are the friendships with our crew, you know, in an industry that is notoriously transient. You know, people have crew come, crew go,

• 3:55Speaker 01

  new crews, you know, but we've kept pretty well the core crew from, from the beginning. And part of it's that we're obviously working in difficult dangerous terrain and you forge stronger bonds than you would in a shiny studio. But part of it's that the loyalty really matters from both, goes both ways. And I love that.

• 4:17Steven Bartlett?

  You said that you kind of have a bit of an allergic reaction to the word talent, right? Just from a few other things that you said in that little opener, I wondered if you you relate at all to the to the phrase imposter syndrome at all. Because you're someone who's the world has this image of you as being this like unbelievable, mountain scaling, fearless adventurer. And even you talking about a lack of confidence doesn't seem to fit into that narrative that the world must hold of you. So have you ever felt what they call imposter syndrome at all? Or do you have a different?

• 4:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think so, because I'm going, because it probably grows, you know, the more, you know, the more sort of something does well, you know, we, you know, we did the show this year for Netflix called You vs. Wild, you know, and we just got the news, you know, this morning, we got nominated for three Emmys for it. And the crew go, baby, she's so excited, but part of my heart dies. Part of me is like, oh, it's like that gulf between the the sort of TV sort of, you know, guy and the it gets bigger, you know, and I feel from day one, I felt I almost had more confidence, I think, in my skills at the beginning. I think as the years have gone on, and I've realised, actually, I've

• 5:31Speaker 01

  often been surrounded by people are better, better climbers, better skydivers, better survival guys, better looking, fitter, stronger, all of these things, just because we've built a crew of ninjas, of true heroes. And, you know, we got to work with people and locals and experts all around the world, year after year. And I think more and more, I feel these guys are, that person we met there, or that person we met there are amazing, they'd be much better at the job than me. But, you know, like I say, our job isn't to be the best, you know, it's to do our best. And, you know, for some reason, I've been given this this the chance to do this. It's what I've always loved. I love the adventures. I love, like I say, the friendships and, you know, the job we do. And I think you

• 6:12Speaker 01

  can only ride, that'd be grateful for it. And, and like I say, do do your best and not worry about too much about how the TV makes it always look. I mean, the truth is, the TV always puts the best bits. They cut out the trips and the stumbles. And you put anything to music and the guy's gonna look cool, you know. But I think an element to why the show worked when we first started doing it is that we did show a lot of the mistakes. And it was kind of. The slips and the stumbles and the ums and the ahs and I remember from day one the producer that came to me and said, we want to do this show where we drop you in the middle of difficult places and you show us how to get out of there. And I kept saying no because I didn't want to do TV. I didn't know about TV.

• 6:54Speaker 01

  And I was like, and you know, but he kept saying, we don't want that. It doesn't need to be perfect. And it was my wife that said, why don't you go and try it, you know? And I'd just left the military. We'd just got married. We were kind of starting out. And she was smart. She said, go and try it. And actually, it's never felt like making a perfect thing. I think the magic at that time, it was the first show that came along that let all the mud be on the lens and the rain on the lens and the trips and the stumbles. You saw the cameraman's hand and it would come, there was a sort of interactivity. There was, there was great. And I've always felt if it's not broke, don't fix it. The stumbles, the trips, the struggles, the mistakes are part of life.

• 7:35Speaker 01

  But the part of my heart that dies is because it all makes it look too good or too, you know, because at the end of the day, I'm a really regular guy. I'm a regular dad as well. You know, I'm not, I'm not brilliant at any of these things, but I know what I love and I know the weapons that serve me best and the weapons are always this, you know, be dogged, be determined, be the most resilient person out there when it's hard. You know, come alive in the big moments. When it's not the big moments, you don't need to be front and centre. But in the big moments, be there.