Pod Insights Let's Talk About Myths, Baby! | Greek Mythology & the Ancient Mediterranean The Worst Friendship Breakup of All Time (The Wars of the Diadochi and the Hellenistic Period) About this episode We are back with the Wars of the Diadochi and finally Ptolemy gets his proper introduction. Join me today to see what goes on after the Lamian War, see who takes what sides, and who does or does not die.
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CW/TW: far too many Greek myths involve assault. I try to provide direct warnings when there is reference to anything with overtly traumatic themes but be aware that Greek mythology regularly features assault, death, and many other potentially triggering events.
Sources: The Library by Diodorus of Sicily translated by Robin Waterfield, Alexander's Heirs: the age of the successors by Edward Anson.
Attributions and licensing information for music used in the podcast can be found here:mythsbaby.com/sources-attributions http://mythsbaby.com/sources-attributions.
Learn more about Liv's next group trips https://travelbugxlivalbert.my.canva.site/ to GREECE! Application deadline is November 30 (Subject to change due to demand).
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Transcript Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Liv Albert? Hey nerds, really quick note from me. I want to tell you that we now have the applications open for the next set of listener group trips. This is us going back to the original, the trips that we have held in the past that have been so much fun, so successful, and pretty affordable in terms of wandering around Greece with a bunch of nerds. So check out the details and get your applications in at mythsbaby.com/groups.
0:43 Speaker 01 I've got big news. I switched to Verizon and got the new iPhone 18 Pro. Shh. I can keep my old phone and I also get the latest iPhone every year. Shh, anything else? Verizon let me choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on them.
0:56 Speaker 02 Everybody, listen up.
0:57 Speaker 01 Shh. Switch to Verizon and get the new iPhone 18 Pro now. No trade in needed and the latest iPhone every year with Simplicity Plan. Plus choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on us. Simplicity Plan with Simplicity Pro required. Plan and device payment purchase are separate agreements with separate terms. Service plan for watch or iPad required. Addition terms apply for all offers.
1:13 Speaker 03 At Humana, our Medicare Advantage plans are easy to understand and easy on your wallet, like offering more benefits than you'd get from original Medicare alone and including dental, vision and hearing coverage in every plan. And the best part is every plan has a $0 or low monthly plan premium, which makes it easier to save too. So this Medicare planning season, plan well with Humana. Learn more at gethumana.com. Humana is a Medicare Advantage, HMO and PPO organization with a Medicare contract. Enrollment in any Humana plan depends on contract renewal.
2:14 Speaker 04 Hello all and welcome back to a new episode of Let's Talk About Myths, Baby! It's Michaela Pongoish again, back to bring you more lovely history content. Last week, we looked at how Alexander the Great dropped dead, leaving his empire in nobody's hands, and left the Med to fall into absolute chaos. We touched on a little bit of that chaos, but not much, cuz turns out I have followed the path of Herodotus and can yap for ages about one little bit of history. Not to say that the Lamian War was small, it was quite big in deciding what would happen to Greece moving forward, but remember that Greece is still relatively small and not actually that important when it comes to a giant empire.
2:56 Speaker 04 I love Greece, we all love Greece, but the country has always been resource poor, and their biggest contribution was simply their culture. Not to belittle that, that is important in its own right, but it's not the area of the ancient Med that has the most value technically. Alex's empire was flipping massive, like, I don't have a way to describe just how massive it was, and all the different spaces it spanned from. We're talking Macedonia, and Greece, the islands, all of Asia Minor, and the previous Persian Empire going pretty far, straight into India, and then, of course, there was Egypt as well. Massive!
3:36 Speaker 04 And we have looked at one area so far, and not even a year into the forty-year period of the Wars of the Daidokai. Basically, we have a fucked ton to get through still, and of course, we aren't going to make it all the way through, that's for future episodes, but we are going to try to at least get through most of the First War today, because that's at least something, right? We'll get through it, we'll get through it. And, and do you want me to rush through any of the history? I mean, you technically can say yes, but that ain't gonna stop me, bud. I can't help myself. I find this shit fascinating. At least you can rely on me that I will have no interest in going into detail on what the actual battles looked like, the tactics, etc., etc.
4:21 Speaker 04 Like, I'm not going to go into credible detail on any of that unless it's actually really important to what's going on. And when is it ever? I'll leave that to some history, bro. That's not for me.
4:34 Speaker 04 Last episode, we met Meliager, who viled up the army after Alex's death, and then he promptly died. We met Predikus, who was somehow managed to get himself into stewardship of the empire as Eridaeus was not quite mentally well enough to rule, and Philip III was a mere baby. Python, who was there, Antipater, who was a pretty big deal, actually, and did quite get quite a bit. Um, and we did get quite a bit, not only throughout Alex's reign, but also during his father's fails. He was managing the European province of the empire. And finally, we met Craterus, who came to Greece to help Antipater during the Lamian War, which they won.
5:15 Speaker 04 Antipater had force, um, and his force managed to quell all the revolts in Greece and get that mess under control. Yet, there were rumblings elsewhere, and that's where this episode will take us.
5:43 Speaker 04 The worst friendship breakup of all time.
6:02 Speaker 04 So Antipater took on the Greeks and won. After this, he headed back up to Macedon. But Perikis was up to something in Cappadocia. See, Cappadocia was handed over to a man named Eumenes. Oh, I'm sorry. It's just, there's another new name. Should we get to that quickly? Okay, let's get this introduction done quickly. Great. So Eumenes was another general who served under Alex. For a while, he was his secretary, which is adorable, actually. They had secretaries. I mean, yeah, okay, they weren't secretaries the way we have secretaries, but whatever, it's fun. And he was secretary before he was fully made a general. He loved Alex. He loved him.
6:45 Speaker 04 And after his death, he fully supported the Archea dynasty, or Alex's dynasty, to continue ruling the empire. Because of this, guess whose side he was on?
6:56 Speaker 04 That's right, Perikis, who, remember, is acting as regent for the remaining Archea heirs. Well, Eumenes was given Cappadocia and Paphylagonia of all the satrapies when they were handed out. However, both of these territories weren't actually completely conquered. There were still Achaemenid satraps ruling them. So he had some work ahead of him. He had to fully take over this land before he could rule it. And you know what? I mean, I don't want to say anything too terrible about Eumenes, but he needed quite a bit of help. And eventually, Perikis commanded Leonatus and Antigonus to help him out. Shit, we have a new name.
7:40 Speaker 04 Well, we've already talked about Leonatus last episode. Remember, he showed up to help Antipater in Greece, died in a marsh? Anyways, I'm not going to introduce him again. Antigonus was, say it after me, one of Alex's generals. He had been around for a solid minute, like since Phil's time, and helped Alex take over the Achaemenid empire. He was given a couple of provinces, namely Phrygia, but there was also Pamphylia and Lycia. Anyways, Antigonus said, fuck that, I'm not gonna help that guy out. But Leonatus seemed willing to help, so off he trots to Cappadocia to help him out. He's there for a bit, and he almost makes a marriage with Cleopatra.
8:20 Speaker 04 No, not that Cleopatra, another Cleopatra, an earlier Cleopatra, maybe, perhaps, the first Cleopatra. See, she was one of Phil's daughter, Philonolypius, actually, so she was fully Alex's sister. Now, if Leonidas married her, he would have an actual claim to the Macedonian throne, since, you know, the Argids. So this is an idea, and he's gonna head off to Greece. But before he heads off to Greece, he goes on to tell Eumenes all about his plans, which is fucking wild. Like, seriously, why are you confiding any of this in anyone?
9:01 Speaker 04 Like, hey bud, I know you're super on Predicus's side, I'm planning on marrying Cleopatra, cuz I could probably get the throne of Macedon. That's wild. I, I don't know why he made this decision, I can't possibly defend it, but whatever.
9:20 Speaker 04 I guess it's not late enough in the Hellenistic period and the wars of the Diadoche for it to be more obvious what could happen. But, whatever. Hey, remember, I do want you to remember that that is Alex's sister, Cleo, that she is there and available for marriage. Not married yet, but maybe one day. Anyways, Eumenes, Eumenes immediately runs off to Predicus to tell him everything that's going on. Predicus, once he learns this, heads out for Asia Minor and deals with everything going on there. He just comes in and manages to kick out the remaining Akhmedid supporters and goes on to install Eumenes into his satrapi. He also orders for Leonidas to stand trial for his disobedience.
10:04 Speaker 04 But, you know, he died in the Lamian War in a marsh, so he can't really do that. Unless they wanted to put a corpse on trial, which, like, I'm fairly certain they don't do. I know that happens at some point. I just don't remember when anyways, after this, he heads off to deal with the growing difficulties from the other successors and head stick on Ptolemy. So, Ptolemy, I've said this name enough, and I feel of all the successors, he is by far the most well-known by people the world over. I mean, his dynasty did quite well in Egypt, leading all the way up until our girl Cleopatra. Yes, that Cleopatra this time, down at the end of the Hellenistic period. So, what is up with Ptolemy?
10:49 Speaker 04 And unhappily, we have finally gotten to the point where we can introduce him. So, Ptolemy, as you may have guessed, he was in fact a general of Alex's. Isn't that wild? Completely, just a surprise. Who would have seen that coming? He was actually pretty important to Alex. He was an extremely competent general and a dear friend to the young man. After the death of Alexander, it is thought that Ptolemy was the one who got all of his friends to sit down and talk to each other and actually decide who should get what satrapi. Under this, he got control of Egypt, which is, let's face it, that's not lucky at all. That was a decision he made and made happen. He played the game well.
11:31 Speaker 04 But let's head back to Alex's death real fast because a man that is as successful as Alex needs to have a funeral to match. And boy, did he. After he died, he was placed within a gold sarcophagus, filled with honey and then fit inside another gold casket. The man was just surrounded by gold dripping of it, some could say, and then his body needed to be brought home to Macedonia to finally be put to rest. But you see, this is when Ptolemy comes in because somehow, as it was being moved along, he got his hands on it and changed the course to Memphis. Once it was brought to Memphis, the sarcophagus was then transferred to Alexandria, where it was finally laid to rest.
12:14 Speaker 04 The Alexandria in Egypt, not the other ones. Now, I'm not going to go into where the body is now because quite frankly, who the fuck knows? And also, it's such a scholarly mess that I just cannot be bothered to join the discussion. It's somewhere. But first, Ptolemy got it and managed to get it into Egypt. This happened towards the beginning of all this mess. Like, the Lamian War is going on and Ptolemy is just off stealing corpses, but, you know, he did well in Egypt, actually. He managed to take control of the province relatively easily, and he was actually really good to the people of Egypt. Ah, it's a wonderful way to gain control and curry favor with the public. So like, good on him. He knew how to establish himself.
12:57 Speaker 04 And he seemed to be pretty good at making friends, as well as a number of the other Hattai war headed over to his side because of his moral integrity. After all this, while Antipater is off in Greece fighting the Greeks, he approaches him and says, "Hey bud, wanna team up? Because I'm pretty sure that Pheidicus is gonna come and try to get Egypt from me, so like, why don't we team up so that we can more easily defend our own territories from him?" Which Antipater is like, "Yeah, and thus we have a little team. Come together." Antipater, Ptolemy, probably some others in time, but not quite yet. Soon. After the Lamian War ends, there's this little event called the Kyreni War,
13:39 Speaker 04 which, look, I'm sorry, I don't really think it's actually that important, but basically, these are the, there are these guys fighting, and then they like, kick the Kyrenians off of their land, who then head to Egypt and are like, "Ptolemy, help!" And Timoli is like, "Ptolemy, yes!" So he restores them to the land and thus it falls under his own power. Basically, Ptolemy is building his empire quickly and is pretty fucking powerful. Great. We're gonna go back to Pheidicus now. So, Cappadocia has been taken over. He went on to fuck over some other cities and then, suddenly, two women appear. Nikeia and Cleopatra. Yeah, buddy, Cleo's back.
14:20 Speaker 04 So, we all remember, like, ten minutes ago, that Cleo is the sister of Alex, daughter of Phil and Olympias. But Nikeia, well, she is the daughter of Antipater. Perikas had been seeking to gain her hand in marriage for a while now, actually, because he had originally felt that he was going to work with Antipater. But now he was regent for the Macedonian Empire and he actually wanted to be king. I mean, who's surprised by that? So, actually marrying Cleo would be significantly better for him because, well, she is of the Argia dynasty and that could help him to convince the Macedonians to put him in power in his own right.
15:02 Speaker 04 But he wanted to keep this a secret from everyone because why let anyone know what your hand is? See, when Leonatus was yapping on about this, he was almost put on trial. Then he died in a march, so, you know. But I mean, that didn't really have anything to do with him wanting Cleo, but whatever. Moving on, Perikas kept it a secret. He wasn't gonna let anyone know that he really wanted Cleo. Instead, he went on a smear campaign against Antigonus, yay, for many a thing. Supposedly, things he had never actually done. He basically called for the man's death. Antigonus made it very well known in public that he wanted to defend himself against these baseless charges.
15:45 Speaker 04 He would fight against the tyranny of this man in the court of law. Everyone was amazed. Wow, Antigonus, what a guy. But in secret, actually, Antigonus was getting everything he needed in order to leave and, well, one fateful day, he did. With his son and some friends. He headed out for Europe and once he got there, he sought out Antipater so that he could join his forces. When he found Antipater, he was hanging out with Craterus. Please tell me I've already introduced Craterus. I don't say that I have, but I've been wrong before. Google it if I haven't, I can't, I can't do it anymore. Anyways, Antipater and Craterus had invaded Etoia because, remember the whole Lamian War thing? The Athenians had given up on their escapades, but the Etonians had not, so these guys were
16:30 Speaker 04 just dealing with them currently. They were having difficulty with the Etonians as well. They were actually putting up quite the fight and that the two men never actually expected from them. They were able to get the upper hand because of the topography of the area. There, there was a mountain. They were uphill the mountain. It's hard to run a horse uphill. Whatever. Can you tell I'm trying to move on from this? Get it through quickly? Yeah, that's what I was doing. Anyways, it was at this moment when the Atolians were up in their mountains and Antipater and Craterus were down below yelling at them to come down and give up the fight. That Antigonus finally arrived. He ran up to the two men. As I imagine it, they were standing at the bottom of the mountain staring up at it at a random group of people and tells them all about what has been happening.
17:15 Speaker 04 How Perdikus was being a dick, wanting to throw Nikeia aside and marry Cleo. All he could eventually, also he could eventually gain the actual kingship of the empire and not just being a region. The two men were quite taken aback. They didn't actually expect Perdikus to be capable of such a thing. Which is really interesting to me, actually. Like, this is truly the worst friendship breakup of all time. Like, one guy dies, or I don't know, let's pretend it like a couple broke up. And, and they broke up in this friend group and now everyone is going to different sides, fighting and it's all just going to shit. It's actually really depressing when you think about it that way. Like, can you imagine one of your besties who you've known since you were a young lad?
18:00 Speaker 04 Grew up with, was educated with, and they basically came to completely ruin your life afterwards? That would fucking suck. I don't know. Anyways, that's what's happening to these boys right now. I'm feeling for them. It's so wild. I've humanized these ancient men. Anyways, Antipater and Craterus with the rest of their men quickly decided that they simply could not stay here and deal with the Atolians. So they strike up a deal, a peace deal, on the best terms that they could and started making their way back into Asia. Their plan was to keep Europe in Antipater's power and to put Asia in Craterus's hands. They got a hold of Ptolemy saying, "Hey, man, it's starting. You in?" Let's assume that he was.
18:42 Speaker 04 Perdikus, meanwhile, is holding a meeting with his own buddies, trying to decide who they should take on first. Macedon or Egypt? Egypt or Macedon? Antipater and Craterus or Ptolemy? Well, they voted Ptolemy. Fair, I suppose. Makes sense. And Puddikus heads out to Egypt, hoping to get there before any news reaches him. Before he left, he gave Eumenes quite the sizable army, actually, and then sent him off to the Hellespont to deal with Antipater and Craterus when they finally arrived. Thus ends the first year.
19:30 Liv Albert? This episode is brought to you by Quince. You know the drill. Quince makes elevated, everyday essentials using premium materials like Mongolian cashmere, organic cotton, and premium stretch denim. I have been speaking into a microphone about Quince for a while now, and I have no complaints. I have a bunch of their stuff. I've got a couple cute sweaters that, I mean, it's nearing sweater season, so those will be back in the rotation anytime now. And I have this leather bag that I absolutely love. It's like this braided leather, and I use it like basically every day. Because that's the thing, they have really great basics.
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20:57 Liv Albert? So find the fall pieces you'll reach for most at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was me. Let's talk about myths, baby. It's the best way to support the show.
21:22 Speaker 01 I've got big news. I switched to Verizon and got the new iPhone 18 Pro. Shh. I can keep my old phone and I also get the latest iPhone every year. Shh, anything else? Verizon let me choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on them.
21:36 Speaker 02 Everybody, listen up.
21:37 Speaker 01 Shh. Switch to Verizon and get the new iPhone 18 Pro now. No trade in needed and the latest iPhone every year with Simplicity Plan. Plus, choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on us. Simplicity Plan with Simplicity Pro required. Plan and device payment purchase are separate agreements with separate terms. Service plan for Watch or iPad required. Additional terms apply for all offers.
21:52 Speaker 03 At Humana, our Medicare Advantage plans are easy to understand and easy on your wallet. Like offering more benefits than you'd get from original Medicare alone. And including dental, vision and hearing coverage in every plan. And the best part is every plan has a $0 or low monthly plan premium, which makes it easier to save too. So this Medicare planning season, plan well with Humana. Learn more at gethumana.com. Humana is a Medicare Advantage HMO and PPO organization with a Medicare contract. Enrollment in any Humana plan depends on contract renewal.
22:38 Speaker 04 Great, a new year is finally starting. Isn't that exciting? It's been an episode and a half to get us through just one year, which really shows just how much insanity is happening during this time. Like so much is happening. And well, we're gonna get some more drama because of course we are. That's what we're all here for. And what are people who love history if not absolutely drama hungry? That's what we are, folks. We have so many drama llamas to feed and the words of the Dai Doka are handing us feed aplenty. Anyways, it is around this time that Ptolemy nabs Alexander's corpse. We've already touched on that, so like not gonna rehash something you heard 10 minutes ago.
23:19 Speaker 04 The corpse was nabbed, a court snapping, moving on, just like the corpse. I'm done, I promise. Before we get back to Egypt to find out what happens there. We are going to follow Eumenes to the Hellespont. You know where the Hellespont is, right? It's the region with the strait that connects the Black Sea to the Aegean. It connects Europe and Asia, which is exactly the path that Antipater and Craterus would take. So, Eumenes made his way up there with a decent-sized army from Pheidicus. The only thing he didn't really have was cavalry, which is actually quite important, but he did manage to wrangle up a decently-sized cavalry from his own province. As Antipater and Craterus were making their way in, Neapolitan... Oh, fuck.
24:03 Speaker 04 Look, it's a new name. You know what that means? Introduce that general, Neoptolemus. Uh, he was actually just an officer, which is a bit of a fun little change and kinda messes up our game, but whatever. Well, he was an officer. He was also a part of the Hetairoy. Not much is known about him during the time of Alexander, just that he was a perfectly competent soldier. And after Alexander's death, he was bopping around in Armenia. But now, he's with Eumenes. And he isn't too happy with that, actually. He doesn't like Eumenes, for whatever reason. Diodorus Cylus says it was jealousy. I don't care, he didn't like him. That's all we need to know.
24:45 Speaker 04 Well, Neoptolemus had a pretty good number of Macedonian soldiers under his own command, and he didn't want to deal with Eumenes anymore, so he secretly reached out to Antipater. The two men agreed that Neoptolemus would find a way to kill Eumenes. But somehow, Eumenes found out about this and Neoptolemus made a run for it. They fought, and Neoptolemus almost died. And after Eumenes won, a lot of his men also left Neapolitan to join Eumenes. The drama! He stole his girlfriends! Anyways, Neoptolemus joined Antipater and friends with about, eh, three hundred cavalry men. The men discussed what they should do next, and it was decided they would split the army in two.
25:27 Speaker 04 And Antipater would head off to find Pheidicus, and Craterus would stick around to deal with Eumenes. So Antipater went off and Craterus got ready to fight with Eumeneus and well, the battle started. And everyone was going at each other and the whole situation was in absolute disarray. It was a mess, everyone could see that. And in the chaos, Craterus's horse stumbled and fell. And with him, Craterus was thrown to the ground. And amongst all the storming horses and men attacking each other, Craterus went unnoticed and was quickly trampled to death. Honestly, what a shitty way to go. Not just because, oh my god, anxiety attacking the waiting, but also because that's just embarrassing.
26:12 Speaker 04 For the ancients. And actually, a little for now, but also, you know, shit dies. Meanwhile, Eumeneus and Neoptolemus had found each other and decided that the battle would be made based on who won in single combat. Which is so much fun. Like, when do we ever hear about actual? Single combat? I don't know if this is true. I, I just don't. But because it's single combat, I'm choosing to believe it's true. Ah, so these two men drew their swords and started going at each other. They rode by again and again and clashing swords until passion got such a grasp on them
26:52 Speaker 04 that they grabbed each other's reins and the horses went, ah, and, and they all fell to the ground. Both, both Eumeneus and Neoptolemus were heavily armored, which, I mean, must have sucked to fall in generally, but they were left quite stunned after this fall. Eumeneus was the first to rise and in this moment managed to get a quick strike in at the back of Neoptolemus's knee. Neoptolemus was now wounded, horribly wounded, but they managed to find a way back up, injuring Eumeneus at the same time. He gets him in the arm, in the thigh, doing a pretty good job for a guy that just got a blade to the knee, but the injury to the knee was simply too damaging. And the hits he got on Eumeneus really weren't serious at all and Eumeneus manages to get another strike in.
27:37 Speaker 04 This time in his neck. Can't fight that one. It's either a slow sleeping death or a quick gushing one. Depends on the side, I guess. Eumeneus had won. He grabs the rest of the army and makes a deal with them. They would be able to join him or go home. They agree unto all. And as they headed off to sort themselves out, to get whatever provisions they needed, they secretly head off to meet with Antipater. Those sneaky bitches, love them. Great, okay. Moving on, on to Egypt, where we get to see what Pheidicus and dear, sweet Ptolemy have been up to. Because we have to get to this before the end of the episode. I simply refuse to finish this bit and get back to it like who knows when. Seriously, I haven't even
28:22 Speaker 04 thought about the production calendar for the beginning of twenty twenty six. Ask me, I'm tired. The calendar also constantly changes because Liv and I are just ADHD babies. Anyways, whatever. Egypt, Pheidicus, ah, Ptolemy. Pheidicus makes his way into Egyptian territory and eventually finds himself at the Nile. He makes camp near the city Pelusium. I say place names for the people who pull up maps. I do that. I hope some of y'all do as well. Anyways, he attempted to dredge the old canal, and when he was doing this, the river burst from the banks quite violently and fucked up all of their siege works.
29:02 Speaker 04 Because of this embarrassment, and really, this is extremely embarrassing, a bunch of his friends up and loved him. They couldn't be seen with this mug. Off they went, to Ptolemy. Ptolemy was also significantly chillier than Pheidicus. Apparently, Pheidicus kept quite a tight leash on his people and ruled with an iron fist, which sometimes can work. Until it doesn't, and then you lose all your friends with a guy who is just, you know, so nice and lets them be their own people and gives them gifts and lets them speak their mind and contribute.
29:42 Speaker 04 Don't be toxic. Anyways, Pheidicus managed to get the rest of his people on his side, some through extravagant gifts, because everyone knows that money buys love, of course. They kept marching on throughout the night until they reached a fortress by the name of Camelfort. Or Camelantejos. It's midnight. Actually, it's almost two in the morning. Damn. Anyways, I'm gonna stick with Camelfort. Well, once he gets there and the day begins, he gets his men to cross the river. The elephants lead the charge. Oh shit, uh, he has elephants. Did I say that? Did I forget to mention that? There are elephants at Camelford. As they were about halfway across, who comes riding the distance but Ptolemy and his men racing to the fortress to give them help.
30:24 Speaker 04 They get there before Perdicus does, they shut the doors, prepare for the siege. Perdicus and his men approached with their siege weaponry, but Ptolemy was there and encouraged all his buds to do their very best. He himself stood on the bulwarks and fought. He got a pike and went after the first elephant, injuring the man driving it and poking out the elephant's eyes. Uh, rude, but anyways, he then started striking at the men who were climbing the ladder. They couldn't find their way into Camelford and they tumbled down to their death. All of Ptolemy's buds were amazed at what he was doing and they followed in his lead. The battle went on for actually quite a significant amount of time, all day in fact, and many died on both sides. But at the end of the day, everyone settled down for the night.
31:06 Speaker 04 The ancients did not fight at night, it was a much more civilized time. Wars were fought differently. Well, as the night went on, Perdicus secretly packed up his men and made his way back along the Nile until he was opposite of Memphis. The Nile was quite wide here, and it was in fact so wide that there was a natural island in the middle that could accommodate his army. Yet, it would be difficult to get across. He got his men to make their way to the island, the water came up to their chins and was rushing by them, threatening to sweep them away. They were also wearing their armor, which certainly couldn't have helped. Why did he make them do that? Anyways, it's Perdicus, what can we say?
31:47 Speaker 04 Perdicus, seeing that this was actually a problem, sent the elephants to go out to help lessen the strength of the current. You know, they stood on the left, blocking it, disrupting it. He then had his horsemen go down river to catch any of the men as they were swept away, which. It's wild, but whatever. The first crossing went well enough, but the next ones, they did not go well at all. See, the water was suddenly far deeper and the men couldn't walk across easily. In fact, many were being swept away and they had to swim. No one could figure out what was happening, causing the river to rise so drastically. Why was this happening? They were worried that something had happened upriver, maybe? Some, some dam broken? I don't
32:30 Speaker 04 know, but no, friends, no, that is not the reason. See, when Perdikus had the elephants and the cavalry sent out into the water, they disturbed the riverbed, which was made of sand. The now displaced sand was swept downriver. Subsequently, it was much deeper. It was simply Perdikus's fault. Since no one could make the way over to the island, and there wasn't enough people there to really make a stand, Perdikus ordered them all to return. Some were good swimmers, and they managed to get across, although it was extremely difficult. And they lost pretty much all of their weapons and their armor, which ain't great. The rest, however, were terrible
33:13 Speaker 04 swimmers. And well, they were swept off to their death. Some, the river took. Others made it to the opposite bank, the enemy's side, and some were cast so far downriver, they were eaten by anything that lived within those waters. Around two thousand men died in this event, which is way too many to lose when it's not even a battle like that. It's just embarrassing. Also, we can't trust numbers. But let's just go with it. Two thousand men, dead. Ptolemy had made his way down now, and he cremated the corpses of those who had died, making sure that they got a proper funeral. More of Perdikus's men were upset with him now,
33:53 Speaker 04 and many wanted to head over to Ptolemy's side. That night, the camp was a dreary place to be in. They were mourning all their dead and their chances, struggling to figure out what they would do now that the numbers were so few and they were being led by a man who obviously didn't seem to care much for them, or was capable of making wise decisions. His officers met in secret. They were done with Pheidicus. And they wanted to make a decision on what to do with him. The infantry were done as well, threatening him outside with shouts and yells. So the officers, they mutinied, being led by a man named Python. Remember what him? He was the one who suppressed the Greek rebellion in the first episode.
34:35 Speaker 04 The Greeks in the Upper South, a piece of Asia, Asia Minor, not the ones who were on the Greek mainland. Well, anyways. Python and some of the other officers got themselves together, headed to Pheidicus's tent and murdered him.
35:02 Speaker 04 Yes, friends, did you expect this episode to end in murder? Because I did, because I'm the one who's writing all of this. And also, it's just incredibly fun to talk about some ancient murder, especially when it's your coworkers. Well, I guess it's not your coworkers, it's your employees. He was killed by his employees. But hey, you know, that's life on occasion. Treat your employees well, folks. And now Pheidicus is dead. What will happen next? Can be honest, it's a lot of admin, which is very important for the whole management of empire, but not as exciting as murder. I'm way too jazzed about the murder, I can't help it, I'm sorry. I won't say that's the end of the first war, the Dianodogai. It mostly is, but there is some more admin to do. And we've pretty much gotten through the start of all these wars. There are two teams, it seems.
35:47 Speaker 04 Antipater and his buds and Ben Pheidicus and his buds. Which side are you guys on? I mean, Pheidicus is dead now, but you know, someone will take his place, we'll just have to see who. I'm leaning for the side of Ptolemy. He just seems like, you know, he seems like such a guy, a little dreamy, doing all the things. He's, he's chill, bopping around Egypt. Uh, I don't know. Maybe it's just the image of him in my head, almost like a dumb prince charming.
36:15 Speaker 04 Yeah, I think that's how I see him. Anyways, I know that the rest of these wars is truly gonna be chaos and all over the place. So honestly, my, my decision on who's the best is probably gonna change over and over as the years go on.
36:31 Speaker 04 It's gonna be fun, full of drama. I can't wait to get through the war so we can look at what's going on with the people of each kingdom, though, like, wow, that's gonna be fun. Think of all the ways that, like, the multiculturalism of it all. Can you tell I'm very tired? It's fine, I'll keep going. The multiculturalism of it all, you know, how people from two different cultural backgrounds sort of find themselves, um, ways to live together and share and what they pick up from each other on both sides, because, you know, it's not a one-way street, it is a two-way street, and people are walking down it on both ways, and it's beautiful. Hopefully, I can get more Hellenistic scholars to come on the show and tell Liv and I what
37:14 Speaker 04 was going on. That would also be a lot of fun. If anyone knows anyone, you know where to find us. That'd be great.
37:34 Speaker 04 Let's talk about Myths Baby is written and produced by Liv Albert. You know her, the encyclopedia of Greek myth. Michaela Pangorish is the Hermes to all the Olympin- Olympians. Producer, writer, and other things, too. So close to being done this semester, which means so close to graduating. Select music by Luke Chaos. Thank you, Mr. Chaos. The podcast is part of the Memory Collective Podcast Network, a collection of creators that all strive to bring you accurate and reliable information on the ancient world. These include all the wonderful friends at Movies We Dig, The Partial Historian, Sweetbitter, and so much more. Get ad-free episodes and other wonderful things by subscription to the Oracle Edition on Patreon at patreon.com/MythsBaby, or via the link in the episode's
38:19 Speaker 04 description. We do lots of things over at Patreon. Come on by to see it. Liv and I do videos of some of our episodes together, and the historical ones, too, when I'm not being beaten to the ground by a perjudication. Anyways, love you all and see you when I see you next. Bye-bye.
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Previous Conversations: The Empire is Back. . .and This Episode is the Seleucids w/ Dr. Talia Prussin Next Conversations: Cleopatra Selene... A Queen her Mother Would Be Proud Of w/ Dr Jane Draycott Page updated October 31, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated