Jim Norton Returns!

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian and podcast host Jim Norton! You know Jim Norton from stand up comedy, Opie and Anthony, Jim & Sam w/ Sam Roberts, the Joe Rogan Experience, Sword Fight w/ Nikki Norton, We Might Be Drunk, Stavvys World, Tiger Belly, Whiskey Ginger, Good For You and so much more! Thanks for watching the Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast! AYG & Friends: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ True Classic: https://trueclassic.com/GARBAGE Tushy: https://hellotushy.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Aura Frames: https://auraframes.com Promo Code: garbage Mint Mobile: https://www. MintMobile.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

• 0:19H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

• 0:25Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 0:25H. Foley?

  It's that little show where we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find that they're good to be classy.

• 0:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 0:30H. Foley?

  Or they're just a big old piece of trash.

• 0:31Speaker 02

  Trash, trash, trash.

• 0:32H. Foley?

  I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in the new addition. She's upstairs washing her dainties.

• 0:39Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 0:40H. Foley?

  Her unmentionables.

• 0:41Speaker 02

  All right.

• 0:41H. Foley?

  In the bathtub.

• 0:42Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 0:43H. Foley?

  Using lava soap.

• 0:44Speaker 02

  All right.

• 0:45H. Foley?

  That's from our good friend Bridget Mahoney on the old Patreon.

• 0:47Speaker 02

  The fifth, the fifth. The fifth tag got me.

• 0:51H. Foley?

  My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

• 1:01Speaker 02

  What up, everybody? Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Then, obviously, the greatest website of all time. www.patreon.com/areyougarbage. You go over there, you get all that bonus content, gang.

• 1:13H. Foley?

  Yes, sir, and gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly, special guest back with us again today. He is a legendary stand-up comedian, is one of our absolute favorites. He has a brand-new podcast with his lovely wife, Nikki. Nikki and Jim over there on the YouTube, you gotta check it out. And you can hear him every morning, Monday through Thursday, 8 a.m., Faction Talk Radio, Sirius XM, Channel 103, with Jim and Sam. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the one and the only Mr. Jim Norton.

• 1:39Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 1:40H. Foley?

  There he is.

• 1:41Speaker 02

  Jimmy!

• 1:41H. Foley?

  Oh, guys. Legend in the building, back with us.

• 1:44Speaker 02

  Uh-huh.

• 1:45Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 1:45H. Foley?

  Happy to see you, pal.

• 1:47Speaker 03

  It's good to see you guys. I love the new place.

• 1:48H. Foley?

  Thank you.

• 1:49Speaker 03

  Really impressive.

• 1:50H. Foley?

  Thank you, buddy. We appreciate it.

• 1:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, I was on the block, and I'm like, I don't know about this block.

• 1:56Speaker 03

  Looks like the place De Niro sent Karen to get dresses.

• 1:59Speaker 02

  Keep going, keep going, a little farther.

• 2:01H. Foley?

  We're in here doing rubbing tugs. Got you waiting in the lobby with them little beers. Remember that, they always gave you the little beers.

• 2:08Speaker 02

  They always gave you the, oh, the ones I've heard about.

• 2:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:10Speaker 02

  The ones I've heard about, yeah.

• 2:12H. Foley?

  Uh, married man now, brother. Just in time for the holidays. How's that going? How's that treating you?

• 2:20Speaker 03

  You know, it's, uh, I, I go back and forth. It's funny you say that because I don't know when this airs, but today we put up a video. It's an argument we had a year ago today. Our YouTube channel has been live for a year.

• 2:30H. Foley?

  Okay. Holding grudges, I like it.

• 2:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, but she came back. We, we had somebody filming us at the time and she came home and, uh, was just emotional and tired and like, you know, uh, certain times you, uh, let's just say certain people partake in certain activities, but when they travel international, they don't partake in those activities.

• 2:46H. Foley?

  Understandable.

• 2:46Speaker 03

  So they begin to Jones for it.

• 2:47H. Foley?

  Understandable.

• 2:48Speaker 03

  And their mood is a little, uh, hypersensitive and shit.

• 2:51H. Foley?

  Um. That's like me in Delaware. I've got a guy down there.

• 2:56Speaker 03

  That's kind of it, yeah.

• 2:57H. Foley?

  I got you.

• 2:58Speaker 03

  So she unraveled and we had an argument, uh, and it's like, when I look at that, I'm like, that's what marriage is. It's everything, every fucking hack comic in the eighties.

• 3:06Speaker 02

  Dude, it's so bad because I like, I'll like try to write a bit that I think is specific to me. I'm like, this happened. And then I'm like, it's like on like an episode of According to Jim or something. I'm like, fuck.

• 3:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, has anybody talked about holding the purse in the mall?

• 3:19H. Foley?

  Stores get hot, I'll tell you that. How are you guys traveling together? Are you good with that?

• 3:24Speaker 02

  Cause we saw you on Burt's Cruise.

• 3:26Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 3:27Speaker 02

  You guys, you, you were together and, uh, that was my first time meeting your wife and we got on the bus together and she was, it was very, you guys were doing well.

• 3:35H. Foley?

  Moving together.

• 3:36Speaker 02

  It was still the first day of the trip too, so.

• 3:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think that was our, one of our first public events, uh, was, was Burt's Cruise. We get along great. Uh, traveling is pretty easy.

• 3:44H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 3:45Speaker 03

  She won't, she won't come to one nighters. Like if I do one night in Boston, one night in New Hampshire, she's not coming.

• 3:50H. Foley?

  Right.

• 3:50Speaker 02

  Uh, you set up somewhere for a weekend.

• 3:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, if I, if I'm like, hey, I'm going to LA, uh, then of course, you know, she wants to go out. Yeah, she wants to act like she belong. It's really fucking annoying.

• 4:00Speaker 02

  I do that out there too. Let's go to Spago.

• 4:03H. Foley?

  Over at the Brentwood Market.

• 4:05Speaker 03

  And she just got, we got a dog. We just got a dog.

• 4:07H. Foley?

  Ah, there you go.

• 4:08Speaker 03

  I like it. And, uh, so the travel, uh, is great because now like I, she has to stay home with the dog. It's like 10 weeks old, which is awesome. Cause I'm like, God, love to have you. But I guess I'll have to sit alone and jerk off and eat whatever I want.

• 4:22Speaker 03

  God, I love hotels now. I love hotels.

• 4:25Speaker 02

  Right. Has that sweat? You were, you were, you were probably over hotels. You've been, you've been working for a long time. So it's like, now you're like, now you're a little refreshed, a little rejuvenation.

• 4:33Speaker 03

  I love it. It's like, I, but I don't like, I would always have escorts come over and like, I was a complete creep on the road, but now it's just like, I'll go to escort sites.

• 4:41H. Foley?

  They're gonna say room service.

• 4:42Speaker 03

  I'll, I'll look at what I could do.

• 4:44Speaker 02

  Do you do that?

• 4:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, oh, yeah.

• 4:46Speaker 02

  You'll go browse the inventory, kick a couple tires?

• 4:48Speaker 03

  My wife dies.

• 4:50Speaker 02

  I'll be back in Toledo.

• 4:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, you just look, but I don't do it. I eat bad, you know? It's nice to have your time alone in a hotel.

• 4:57H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 4:58Speaker 02

  Do you like a nice hotel?

• 4:59Speaker 03

  I am, I am a gentleman's accommodation.

• 5:03Speaker 02

  Really?

• 5:03Speaker 03

  Snob, yeah.

• 5:05Speaker 02

  We were, we also just did, uh, we were in DC with you.

• 5:08H. Foley?

  Gentlemen's accommodation.

• 5:09Speaker 02

  That's a great, that is a great term. Uh, we were, we did the-

• 5:13H. Foley?

  Send up your finest escort right away. And the beef Wellington, please.

• 5:18Speaker 02

  Man, that poor escort. Getting somebody after a beef Wellington. Uh, we were-

• 5:23H. Foley?

  I'm a little sleepy.

• 5:24Speaker 02

  We were in DC and you tra- you, remember he maneuvered? We were shocked.

• 5:28H. Foley?

  We were like, what the fuck?

• 5:29Speaker 02

  You did, you showed up, you had already checked-

• 5:31H. Foley?

  Adam Ray's show.

• 5:32Speaker 02

  You got there the night before, I think. You did, you hotel the night before and then you show up to the, you show up to the venue, you got your luggage, you pulled your car right in the garage.

• 5:40Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 5:41Speaker 02

  And then-

• 5:41H. Foley?

  Like a hitman.

• 5:42Speaker 02

  And then he's like, he gets off stage, he goes, "All right, I'll see you guys later," right back to New York.

• 5:47Speaker 03

  I had an execution in front of the Hilton, so I had to-

• 5:50H. Foley?

  Took the rubber gloves off and walked out the door. Didn't run, walked casually.

• 5:54Speaker 03

  I like, I'm a weird traveler, man. I like to get there the night before. I don't like to drive to, or to fly when I get a gig, so I get like nauseous and tired.

• 6:02Speaker 02

  Even flight gigs, you get out there the night before?

• 6:03Speaker 03

  Always, because this way you're just, you're not stressed, you don't fucking, you don't have to take your Dramamine and be loopy on stage.

• 6:09Speaker 02

  I get it.

• 6:10Speaker 03

  So I like to drive late the night before, four hour ride, sleep in. I really do.

• 6:16Speaker 02

  That's Ted Bundy stuff.

• 6:17Speaker 03

  It really is.

• 6:18Speaker 02

  Driving overnight from Florida to Nevada or something.

• 6:20H. Foley?

  Put the diaper on and hit the road. We're not stopping!

• 6:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:25H. Foley?

  Nobody in the car?

• 6:25Speaker 03

  None at all. That's because I took the passenger seat out, you know, as old Teddy B did.

• 6:32H. Foley?

  We always talk about this. I mean, we do understand it. I mean, especially something like that where you're so, even though it's DC, you're still so close back home. Like, you have to be somewhat over that shit. How brutal was it, like, when you were coming up doing clubs and you're, you know, we're lucky, we go together so we can goof around, but when you were by yourself, I mean, that had to wear.

• 6:54Speaker 03

  Well, I was always hosting. Like, when I first started, for the first 10 years, I was an MC. So you would, like, pick up comics.

• 6:59Speaker 02

  Just, who could be serial killers?

• 7:02Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 7:02Speaker 02

  Criminals, or like, you're just getting whoever got booked that weekend.

• 7:05Speaker 03

  You were hoping they were murderers so you didn't have to go through with the shit gig in Lancaster.

• 7:10Speaker 02

  I know that club.

• 7:11Speaker 03

  I hope he just cuts my throat.

• 7:13H. Foley?

  There's a piano wire in the backseat if you need it.

• 7:16Speaker 02

  You're leaving, you're leaving weapons for them?

• 7:18Speaker 03

  Um, yeah, but you would share rooms. That was the worst part, was like, but I also look back on those days, it was fun. Like, you were sitting there with, like, I was so happy to be there. I was so happy to be in the room with a comedian, like, who was, like, talking to me, like, it was great, man. I loved it. I miss, I used to do with Bob Levy and Florentine, we would do a gig in Maryland.

• 7:37H. Foley?

  That's just fun.

• 7:38Speaker 03

  Seventy-five bucks for the weekend, twenty-five a show, no food, no room. So they would let me share the room that they got, and they would pool the money and keep the money. It was, it was great, man. I miss those days.

• 7:48H. Foley?

  The good old days. Oh, Florentine must have been fun.

• 7:51Speaker 03

  It was fun, but Florentine would always fuck a waitress, so it would always be, I would always, oh, me and Jim picked up girls together one time, and it was so embarrassing.

• 8:01Speaker 02

  He was a good-looking guy. I mean, good-looking guy now, but back in the day, he was...

• 8:04Speaker 03

  He was an eight and a half, and he had, Jim had a great rap.

• 8:09H. Foley?

  He had a good rap?

• 8:10Speaker 03

  He had a great rap.

• 8:12H. Foley?

  He's got that voice, too.

• 8:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, they, come on.

• 8:14H. Foley?

  Suck my dick.

• 8:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, what are you doing, you know? And we picked up these two girls, went back to the hotel room, and Jim is pounding, like a professional.

• 8:24H. Foley?

  Straight hotel room, beds next to each other?

• 8:26Speaker 03

  Two, two, two, like, double beds.

• 8:27Speaker 02

  They're not the sweet, dude.

• 8:29Speaker 03

  No, back then, we know. It was a regular small room. And I was wearing all black, and I was dressed like the preacher in The Poltergeist 2. And I'm fucking laying there.

• 8:37Speaker 02

  I love it, girl. What a deep cut.

• 8:39Speaker 03

  You're all gonna die. And he's, "You're not gonna get an erection, Jim." And he was right. I couldn't. It was, it was shriveled in my pants. I went down on her for about 40 minutes and she couldn't have an orgasm. And then I finally went back up to my room with her and just made out. It was embarrassing. Yes. Jim Pound, what a professional.

• 8:56Speaker 02

  Ah dude, I mean, I'm not gonna be able to get hard for another week here in that story.

• 9:00Speaker 03

  He had his face at her neck, just grrrr. A real man.

• 9:04Speaker 02

  What would it take for me and you to hook up with two chicks in the same room?

• 9:07Speaker 03

  A gun.

• 9:09Speaker 02

  A lot of chicken fingers.

• 9:10H. Foley?

  I was gonna say an act of God. For us to pull two chicks together? Man.

• 9:16Speaker 03

  You guys gotta have groupies, though. Come on, you guys are hilarious.

• 9:20Speaker 02

  I mean, we're, we're big with welders.

• 9:23H. Foley?

  Guys that make skateboards for us. Yeah. That's about it. Has the home, I know you guys had worked on it in the house, but has the home improved, or your lifestyle improved? Now that she's there, like, does all the silverware match? Is it, is it spotless all the time? All that kinda stuff? Is it more domesticated?

• 9:40Speaker 03

  It's more domesticated, but spotless, no. Cause she's what they call, she's like a trad wife, but doesn't wanna do housework or anything traditional.

• 9:47H. Foley?

  What's a trad wife?

• 9:48Speaker 03

  Traditional wife.

• 9:49H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 9:49Speaker 03

  But she's not a traditional wife. Uh, she just wants to lay around and do nothing and smoke pot. Um, that's to her a traditional wife. So yeah, the place is a mess.

• 9:57Speaker 02

  Hey, she's new age. What are you up for me?

• 9:58H. Foley?

  Ain't dating a teenager.

• 9:59Speaker 03

  I know.

• 10:02H. Foley?

  Smoking weed with posters on the wall.

• 10:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:04H. Foley?

  And smoke, like, we're talking about flower, like, smoking joints?

• 10:07Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:08H. Foley?

  In the apartment?

• 10:09Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no, no. But she's trying to quit. Like, she goes through these periods where she'll quit.

• 10:13H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 10:13Speaker 03

  Um, which, you know, but then you have to deal with somebody's mood when they quit.

• 10:17H. Foley?

  Like you were saying, yeah.

• 10:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's never good.

• 10:18H. Foley?

  What about the gummies? She don't like the gummies?

• 10:20Speaker 03

  No, she doesn't like, she, they make her too lupier, they make her nauseous or whatever.

• 10:24Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 10:25Speaker 03

  Uh, but it sucks, though, cause when somebody's smoking pot all the time, they just fall asleep on the couch. Like, you're in there passing out, and I go into my, I'm isolated.

• 10:32Speaker 02

  Get up and mow the lawn, you know?

• 10:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, do something.

• 10:34H. Foley?

  Mow the lawn. It's in a high rise.

• 10:36Speaker 02

  That was the joke.

• 10:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:37Speaker 02

  Hey, thanks for playing along.

• 10:39H. Foley?

  This guy's funny. Maybe we could pick up some kicks. I don't know, he had a personality on ya. I thought you was a good-looking fella. Okay.

• 10:47Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 10:47H. Foley?

  Um, what about the holidays? How's the apartment shaping up with that? Do you guys get a tree and all that stuff?

• 10:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, we order a fake tree every year. It's too big to store.

• 10:55Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 10:56Speaker 03

  And she was, she was going through one of her dips.

• 10:58H. Foley?

  So you throw it out at the end?

• 10:59Speaker 03

  Every, every year.

• 11:00Speaker 02

  No shit?

• 11:01Speaker 03

  We throw it out.

• 11:01H. Foley?

  Damn, you got throwing away artificial tree money?

• 11:03Speaker 02

  They're not that much though. They're like a hundred.

• 11:05H. Foley?

  They're not, not that much.

• 11:06Speaker 02

  But it's probably cheaper than a fucking real New York, real tree in New York City.

• 11:10Speaker 03

  I wanna say.

• 11:10H. Foley?

  Cause you got the high ceilings over there, fuckin'.

• 11:12Speaker 03

  Not that high though.

• 11:13Speaker 02

  You got a couple of bucks on you too.

• 11:15Speaker 03

  Three fifty to four hundred for the tree.

• 11:17H. Foley?

  Throwing that out?

• 11:18Speaker 03

  Oh, out the window.

• 11:19Speaker 02

  Out the balcony?

• 11:20Speaker 03

  I even risked a lawsuit right off the balcony. If it hits a stroller, I'll pay it.

• 11:24H. Foley?

  How much was the kid?

• 11:27Speaker 03

  But, uh, yeah.

• 11:28H. Foley?

  Somebody scoops that up.

• 11:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, somebody takes it. I think they do. And one guy, they, one of the, one year for a charity, like for some kids.

• 11:34H. Foley?

  That's not bad.

• 11:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, take it. Uh, but you have to pay to store, you know, it's an apartment building.

• 11:39H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 11:39Speaker 03

  Storage units, so it would cost me more to pay for a storage unit for that fucking tree, so I'm like, just get rid of it.

• 11:45Speaker 02

  Nah, makes sense. Are you doing gifts or are you doing no gifts? I'm doing no gifts this year with my wife, we said.

• 11:50Speaker 03

  I guess through all year, right? You get what you want.

• 11:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, she, she gets, she gets whatever the fuck she wants.

• 11:54Speaker 03

  That's kind of the way it is, you know?

• 11:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like, what, what, what, okay, yeah, just, all right, just, just put a tag on it from Santa and it's yours.

• 12:00Speaker 03

  Amazon, uh, shopping addict. So I'm like, look, we can exchange a little bit. We don't usually do that many gifts. Cause she's like, I don't want anything. I'm like, I, I definitely don't want anything. Um, you know, the least I have to spend, the better.

• 12:11H. Foley?

  I didn't want the tree.

• 12:12Speaker 03

  Exactly. She wants the tree, you got the tree, you got the dog. She wanted the dog, I got her a little dog. That's, that's her Christmas gift, is that little dog.

• 12:19Speaker 02

  They are like a couple from the fifties.

• 12:24Speaker 03

  Tree and a dog, yeah.

• 12:25H. Foley?

  The Amazon shit, man.

• 12:27Speaker 02

  Brutal.

• 12:28H. Foley?

  Insane. It's getting worse and worse. And there's, my, there's so much pressure. If you're coming up, she thinks someone's gonna steal the packages from the package room.

• 12:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:39H. Foley?

  And it's like, dude, I don't give a fuck.

• 12:41Speaker 03

  Let them steal it.

• 12:41H. Foley?

  Let them steal it. It's crazy.

• 12:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, she's addicted to it. I'm addicted to it too, but I also, I collect Kiss posters. I've been doing that for like the last year.

• 12:50H. Foley?

  Goddamn Kiss poster we're talking about.

• 12:51Speaker 03

  But I mean, like, old ones.

• 12:53Speaker 02

  Someone's gonna steal that.

• 12:53Speaker 03

  I am paranoid. The dog, I said, the dog pisses up. One of my posters, it's going off the fucking terrace. If one Japanese Victor poster is ruined by dog piss.

• 13:02Speaker 02

  What's a poster cost you?

• 13:04Speaker 03

  It depends on the, like, a lot of them are a few hundred. The most I've spent, I think, is three grand, but that was, that was like for the original Casablanca, uh, promo poster.

• 13:15Speaker 02

  No shit.

• 13:16Speaker 03

  But there are some that are more, but I won't buy them.

• 13:17H. Foley?

  How many times have you seen them in concert, would you say?

• 13:19Speaker 03

  Not too many, no, no.

• 13:20H. Foley?

  Not a lot?

• 13:21Speaker 03

  I went to the last show at the Garden. This guy Matt, who I know, I was on my way home from the Comedy Cellar, and it was like seven o'clock. He goes, "Hey, man, do you want to see Kiss tonight? I got tickets, an extra ticket if you want to buy it." So I'm like, eh, I hadn't seen them in fucking fifteen years. So I texted my wife, like, "Do you want to go?" And she's like, "Let's go, let's do it." Even though she fucking hates them. So she, we met outside, she hopped in a cab. We literally walked in as they were about to start Detroit Rock City. I couldn't believe I made it. And it was nice to see their last show ever.

• 13:49Speaker 02

  Sure, that's pretty good.

• 13:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm happy I went.

• 13:51H. Foley?

  You ever put the makeup on?

• 13:52Speaker 03

  Uh, no, um, not for that.

• 13:57Speaker 03

  For a good pegging, I'd be lying if I said I haven't lipsticked up.

• 14:02Speaker 03

  Can't bitch boy without a little lipstick on.

• 14:04Speaker 02

  No one's gonna believe it. I'm with you, brother.

• 14:09Speaker 02

  Oh, God. Uh, all right, some of the questions that, uh, it's been, it's been a minute since you've been here.

• 14:14Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 14:15Speaker 02

  So some of the now, the, the ones that have become common game, we want to run by you. Who is, because you are, you are a notable, uh, man who likes to meet famous people and get the picture and the autograph.

• 14:25Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 14:25Speaker 02

  That's well documented. But who was the first person, first famous person you met before you started doing comedy?

• 14:31H. Foley?

  Before you were famous?

• 14:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:32Speaker 03

  Tom Noonan. Um, I was, my grandmother took me.

• 14:36Speaker 02

  Who's Tom Noonan?

• 14:37Speaker 03

  He, you ever see Easy Money?

• 14:38H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 14:39Speaker 03

  He's not Pesci and he's not Rodney, he's the other guy.

• 14:41H. Foley?

  Oh, my God.

• 14:42Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 14:43H. Foley?

  Uh, the, yeah, I, dude, I see that guy all the time in the East Village.

• 14:47Speaker 03

  I was a kid, I was like twelve years old. My grandmother took me to the George Street Playhouse to see Of Mice and Men. And I forget who played George, but Tom Noonan played Lenny.

• 14:56H. Foley?

  Wow.

• 14:56Speaker 03

  And I chased him down the street for an autograph. I was twelve years old.

• 15:01H. Foley?

  He's still in character? Starts petting you?

• 15:06Speaker 02

  Jim's got lipstick on.

• 15:07Speaker 03

  And he felt my hands are nice and smooth, you know, puts Vaseline in his glove.

• 15:11H. Foley?

  No kidding, that's a great one.

• 15:12Speaker 02

  That's a really good one.

• 15:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:14H. Foley?

  You know what he was great in is um, Heat.

• 15:17Speaker 03

  Was he in Heat?

• 15:18H. Foley?

  He was in Heat. He was the one that got the fucking plans. He was the one that was working with John Boy. He was in a wheelchair.

• 15:24Speaker 03

  Ah, I don't remember.

• 15:24H. Foley?

  He was good in that. I see him all the time in the East Village.

• 15:27Speaker 03

  He's a great actor.

• 15:28H. Foley?

  Great.

• 15:29Speaker 03

  And I saw him at Louis' once for Thank- I went to Louis' for Thanksgiving and I think Tom Noonan was one of the- it was a bizarre eclectic-

• 15:36Speaker 02

  Wild, yeah.

• 15:37Speaker 03

  It was Philip Seymour Hoffman, Joan Rivers, her daughter,

• 15:40H. Foley?

  Oh my god.

• 15:41Speaker 03

  um, Parker Posey, uh, uh-

• 15:44Speaker 02

  This is the height of Louis.

• 15:45Speaker 03

  F. Murray Abraham-

• 15:46H. Foley?

  He does gather an eclectic squad.

• 15:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, Jim Norton, Robert Kelly. See how off the cliff the guest list goes? But I really admired Bob Kelly that day. He was so good. Cause I get like, Philip Seymour Hoffman was there and he's like, "Hey, I'm Phil." And I'm like, "I know," but I couldn't talk. And Bob Kelly is so good at being fun in those moments. Being himself and he's just fucking making everybody laugh and being Bobby. I'm like,

• 16:08Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 16:09Speaker 03

  He's really- Bobby's a great guy in those moments.

• 16:11H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 16:11Speaker 03

  I panic and I just shut down.

• 16:15H. Foley?

  That's alright.

• 16:16Speaker 02

  Oh man. That's a wild fucking-

• 16:19Speaker 03

  Tom Noonan, the first one, yeah.

• 16:20Speaker 02

  That's a good one, though.

• 16:21Speaker 03

  First autograph I ever got was Jaco the Clown, his name was. He's a nobody. He was probably just some pedo from Edison. "I was a kid and I went to my friend's birthday party and I was great." He just did my friend's birthday party and I had to sign-

• 16:34H. Foley?

  And you asked for an autograph?

• 16:35Speaker 03

  I was a douche.

• 16:36Speaker 02

  Oh my god, dude, that is embarrassing.

• 16:38Speaker 03

  I was a douche. Gacy should have been the clown I met.

• 16:42H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah, I got the pen. I got the pen in my car. Right this way, Jim.

• 16:46Speaker 03

  Here's a picture of me and Rosalynn Carter. Ooh.

• 16:49H. Foley?

  You asked for an autograph?

• 16:51Speaker 03

  I asked for an autograph.

• 16:51H. Foley?

  You probably made that guy's year.

• 16:53Speaker 03

  I did. I still have it too. Jaco the Clown.

• 16:55Speaker 02

  A local clown. Imagine seeing a local clown on a birthday party, like, this guy's got it.

• 16:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, you gotta sign, please.

• 17:01Speaker 02

  Buddy, I might never get-

• 17:02H. Foley?

  Who's your representation, Jaco?

• 17:03Speaker 02

  I might never get this chance again. Meanwhile, he's working at a Pep Boys during the week.

• 17:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, I thought he was famous.

• 17:08Speaker 02

  That's really good.

• 17:09H. Foley?

  Can't but some about true classics.

• 17:10Speaker 02

  Ooh, love that true classics, gang.

• 17:12H. Foley?

  Talking about the best t-shirts in the- Now they got everything over there. They got active wear, whatever you want.

• 17:17Speaker 02

  Hoodies, jeans.

• 17:18H. Foley?

  Just growing over there. Gang, let me tell you something. There's two stages in my life. There's the pre True Classics and the post True Classics. See this thing? It's not a True Classic. That's why it's hanging off.

• 17:29Speaker 02

  Looks like a bozo.

• 17:30H. Foley?

  I got a nice pack at the house.

• 17:33Speaker 02

  See, that's True Classic. Tight on you. Looks good.

• 17:36H. Foley?

  Feel comfortable. Highlights, all the good places. Look at this flap. This is what you don't want to look like.

• 17:41Speaker 02

  Get yourself a True friggin' Classic.

• 17:43H. Foley?

  I'm the lady in gray on the fucking, on the ad.

• 17:46Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 17:47H. Foley?

  You know what I mean? I'm not a work the pasta maker. You still have a True Classics and everything else they got this holiday season.

• 17:52Speaker 02

  It's snug in the arms and the chest with the right amount of room in the midsection to make you feel like a yoked up defensive end or something. You know what I mean? Uh, they got moisture wicking. All the, I am not. All the active wear has moisture wicking, quick dry and odor control. You can mix match clothing, four-year lifestyle, 100% perfect fit guarantee with easy returns. The holidays are here and True Classics' ultra-comfortable, perfect-fitting essentials make for the perfect gift for you and the men in your life. So if you're ready to upgrade your closet, shop now and unlock big savings during their huge holiday sale.

• 18:24H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 18:24Speaker 02

  Just go to our exclusive link at trueclassic.com/garbage to save. That's trueclassic.com.

• 18:30H. Foley?

  Okay, let's talk about DraftKings.

• 18:31Speaker 02

  DraftKings.

• 18:32H. Foley?

  Gang, as you know, football has a way of turning one game into a full week of conversation and DraftKings keeps you close to it all. DraftKings Sports App is now live in all 50 states. I'll say it again. DraftKings Sports App is now live in all 50 states. We're talking everywhere, baby. Follow the teams you love, keep up with the biggest games and experience the excitement of football all week long.

• 18:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, one app, every sport, all 50 states. New DraftKings customers, sign up with code AYG. Spend just $5 and get 200 in rewards with the 21 days includes all markets. That's code AYG in partnership with DraftKings. The crown is yours. Bet with DK Sportsbook. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. 1-800-MYRESSET. Connecticut, call 888-789-7777. Visit ccpg.org on Half a Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet, tax, pass through may apply in Illinois.

• 19:25Speaker 02

  21 plus, void in Canada. Event contract trading with DraftKings predictions involves a risk of loss. Availability varies. Predictions offered void in New York. Bet to get bonus bets that expire in seven days. Trade to get prediction dollars that expire in one year. $50 in rewards issued every seven days via click to claim for 21 days. One non-withdrawable reward redeemable. Terms at dkng.co offer. Limited time offer. Nationwide based on sportsbook predictions and free to play sports contest availability. Uh, varies by state. Now, back to the show. Back to the show.

• 20:00Speaker 04

  It's me, the

• 20:03Speaker 04

  We don't need the jingle twice. Stop it. This is about vacation inflation and how Priceline negotiates amazing deals on hotels, flights and rental cars.

• 20:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I didn't mention that you can save up to 60% off hotels in the Priceline app.

• 20:21Speaker 04

  Fine. No one deals more deals than Please stop. Touche. Priceline.

• 20:28Speaker 02

  Slash garbage. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. End the year with holiday cheer. Thanks to True Classics. Yes.

• 20:34H. Foley?

  Kit, we gotta talk about Tushy.

• 20:35Speaker 02

  Ooh, Tushy, Tushy, Tushy.

• 20:37H. Foley?

  Cause I got a little surprise for you.

• 20:38Speaker 02

  What's that?

• 20:39H. Foley?

  I got it all hooked up at the house.

• 20:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:41H. Foley?

  And my butthole is a whistling.

• 20:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, screaming me.

• 20:44H. Foley?

  Clean as a whistle. Gang, Tushy, bidet, hooks up to the toilet. What are you doing with the wipes? With the toilet paper? You're killing yourself. Get a nice, fresh clean in there. Give your asshole a shower.

• 20:58Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 20:58H. Foley?

  With Tushy.

• 20:59Speaker 02

  Yeah. As the big man said, they were nice enough to send it to us and it's, it's a eh, we got him here in the studio. It's a proper game changer. It's one of those things where you're like, how was I walking around like that with just poo? Dirt ball. Poo on my butt. It's crazy. It's easy setup. You can do it anywhere. It's fan friggin' tastic. Clean water, right, you know, right in your poo. Ooh, fresh. You know what I mean? It's all right. And, uh, right now, uh, you can give the gift of practical luxury that benefits everyone in your household. Go to helloTushy.com/garbage now to grab your deal before it's gone. And don't forget to give us a shout out while you're there and let them know we sent you. Let them know the boys sent you for a clean B-hole.

• 21:38H. Foley?

  Can I tell you this real quick?

• 21:40Speaker 02

  What?

• 21:40H. Foley?

  For the big boys out there, takes a lot of the work out of reaching back there.

• 21:44Speaker 02

  Sure. So go to hello, thanks for that. Go to helloTushy.com/garbage to get the best gift this holiday season. Do it.

• 21:52H. Foley?

  I think we asked you about your first job, but did you have any jobs like as you were starting out in comedy, any bartending or anything like that?

• 21:59Speaker 03

  No, the only job I did during comedy, I worked at a place called Kristoff Silver, where I was doing like, I was working on a packing line with really high expensive like, you know, $300 forks.

• 22:09H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 22:10Speaker 03

  You know, Kristoff is a great, like a high-priced silverware, and I would be on, I would write jokes on fragile stickers, and then I worked for this place called Laicos Lamps, which were high, high-end Italian lamps.

• 22:21H. Foley?

  How'd you get into this shit?

• 22:22Speaker 03

  I was a warehouse worker in Raritan, uh, Raritan, uh, whatever it was called, Raritan Valley, or Raritan something, Raritan Center in Edison, New Jersey.

• 22:30H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 22:31Speaker 03

  So I was just working at Kristoff, and then when they moved back to New York, I stayed there and worked at Laicos Lamps, but got fired because I would miss, I would go to Maryland and sleep through work the next day.

• 22:41H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 22:41Speaker 03

  So I got fucking canned.

• 22:42H. Foley?

  You get laid with fucking Florentine.

• 22:44Speaker 03

  Well, no, no, it was more like me and Levy, one time me and Levy jerked off on the television, Florentine was out with a waitress, and then me and Levy both scrapped loads on the TV set, and then we just wanted to just have, Jim would be, go crazy when he came back, and he just looked at it and he went, "Beautiful," and then went to sleep. That was the only reaction we got out of him. My pseudo-gay experience with Bob Levy.

• 23:05Speaker 02

  It's not really pseudo.

• 23:07Speaker 03

  No, no, we didn't look at each other's dicks, we were facing the TV.

• 23:09Speaker 02

  There you go.

• 23:10H. Foley?

  And watching 60 Minutes.

• 23:11Speaker 03

  We were laughing.

• 23:11Speaker 02

  Gentlemen at the end of the day.

• 23:12Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 23:13H. Foley?

  Have you ever walked out of a job?

• 23:15Speaker 03

  Um...

• 23:16H. Foley?

  If that's it, I'm fucking done.

• 23:19Speaker 03

  You know, did I quit, there was a company called Cerro Copper that I worked for, and they were, I drove a forklift.

• 23:25Speaker 02

  Who are you?

• 23:26Speaker 03

  I know.

• 23:27Speaker 02

  Dude, never in a million years I think Jim Norton knows how to drive a forklift.

• 23:30Speaker 03

  I drove a forklift.

• 23:31H. Foley?

  I was doing a diamond mine in Kenya.

• 23:33Speaker 03

  Yeah. No, I was actually in charge of chopping off the hands if their diamonds were missing. I was doing...

• 23:40Speaker 02

  I don't want to do it, but you know, job's a job.

• 23:42H. Foley?

  Force her for a diamond mine?

• 23:43Speaker 03

  I was, uh, I was, no, I drove a forklift, that we would get these 20-foot bundles of copper tubing, and they would be like on these giant, wrapped in these like...

• 23:55H. Foley?

  That shit's dangerous.

• 23:56Speaker 03

  Yes, it was, and it was, I had a giant boom on the front, and I would drive onto a ramp that had a, was rotting in... In the corner and go on the back of flatbeds and pull off these giant uh

• 24:06Speaker 02

  Jesus.

• 24:06Speaker 03

  Things of copper tubing. I did that for a while. That that job I might have just quit. I worked with a guy at that place, so I'm sure is dead at this point. And uh, there was a hooker that I knew who would come by and uh

• 24:19Speaker 02

  A hooker that I knew is a crazy set.

• 24:21Speaker 03

  She was right.

• 24:21Speaker 02

  And the dead guy. If you're working with guys that you assume are dead at this point.

• 24:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he was an older guy back then. And and uh, her uh, she would, you know, she wasn't that attractive. But he was like, Jim, I would love to uh, and I'm like, okay, man. I'm like, but just take your wallet out of your pocket. If your pants go around your ankles. Cause she was going into the office in Bloom. But I'm like, make sure that you take your wallet out. Because uh, you know, and I saw him on Monday. And I'm like, how was it? He goes, she took my wallet. I'm like, what did, what did you do? I'm like, did you take it out?

• 24:51Speaker 02

  Oh, Mary filmed. Mary's up to her tricks again. She would do it at, at the office?

• 24:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, because it was in this really desolate weird warehouse area by New Brunswick. So like, New Brunswick is where these hookers hung out, like around Howard Street and uh, and Commercial Avenue. So uh

• 25:06Speaker 02

  That was the intersection.

• 25:07Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 25:08Speaker 02

  Right there, right next to the Domino's?

• 25:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was, it was a worse intersection. Reginald Denny's fucking toilet seat to the head. And uh, I, he wound up getting his wallet taken and uh, yeah, money, his money stolen out of his pocket. Cause he let his pants go around his ankles.

• 25:23Speaker 02

  Rookie mistake.

• 25:24Speaker 03

  Rookie mistake. But he was old. He was very old by then. So yeah, thirty-five years ago, he's probably dead.

• 25:28H. Foley?

  You drive a forklift? That's pretty good.

• 25:30Speaker 03

  I did drive a forklift. I enjoyed it. I did that at a few jobs. I worked at Pergament, which was like Home Depot. It was a Staten Island based company.

• 25:37Speaker 02

  Right, yeah.

• 25:38Speaker 03

  And I offloaded tractor trailers for a while. Um, that's what I worked in receiving. So I would just go on the back of trucks and

• 25:43Speaker 02

  What age are you talking about? Early twenties?

• 25:46Speaker 03

  I would say from, I started comedy at twenty-one. So I would say eight, seventeen to, cause I dropped out of high school. So I was, I was working full-time by the time I was like seventeen or eighteen.

• 25:57Speaker 02

  Okay. Into your early twenties.

• 25:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eighteen to twenty-one.

• 26:00H. Foley?

  If you had to hop back behind the wheel now, I think you could handle it.

• 26:02Speaker 03

  It would take a little, a minute, but I could. I wouldn't want to go up on the ramps again. Cause that ramp was awful. Cause you would like lilts to the right and you were on the, on, on a, a shipping dock. So if you Fell off, you were gonna, you were gonna get killed.

• 26:13Speaker 02

  What would you, would you be doing something in that world if you hadn't started doing comedy? Like where do you say you would just land? You'd be like the supervisor at the dock.

• 26:20Speaker 03

  I would be doing something like that, yeah, cuz I hated, uh, I, I was, again, uneducated, so I, I wasn't qualified to do anything else.

• 26:27Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 26:27Speaker 03

  And, uh, yeah, I would probably be driving a forklift.

• 26:29H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 26:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:30H. Foley?

  Alright.

• 26:31Speaker 02

  Pretty good. Good work if you can get it.

• 26:33Speaker 03

  It is, yeah.

• 26:34Speaker 02

  Huh.

• 26:34Speaker 03

  It was a fun job.

• 26:35H. Foley?

  Is it cut the grass or mow the lawn?

• 26:40Speaker 03

  That's a great question. It cut the grass, I'm gonna mow the lawn. I, I, I mean, I would have to say fifty fifty. I, I never chose. I've said both, I admit embarrassingly. I don't know what the right answer is, but I've said cut the grass, um, and I've said mow the lawn.

• 26:56H. Foley?

  Mow the lawn, I think, is the trashier of the two.

• 26:58Speaker 02

  No, it's the classier. Mow the lawn, yeah, mow, mow the, you cut the, you cut the grass, it's trashy.

• 27:03Speaker 03

  Mow the lawn is something that you would probably find in an upper echelon home.

• 27:06Speaker 02

  Yeah. I would say, cut the grass is more of, of, uh, trash.

• 27:10H. Foley?

  And how do, how do you say the thing that you get, uh, you get your car?

• 27:16Speaker 02

  That could be too many things.

• 27:17Speaker 03

  Took?

• 27:17H. Foley?

  Do you know what I'm talking about?

• 27:18Speaker 03

  Washed?

• 27:19H. Foley?

  I don't wanna, I don't wanna.

• 27:21Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 27:21H. Foley?

  You have car, you have health, you have life.

• 27:23Speaker 03

  Oh, car insurance.

• 27:25H. Foley?

  Insurance. You didn't go insurance.

• 27:28Speaker 03

  Car, car insurance. No, oh no, car insurance.

• 27:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, car insurance is trashy. That's, that's a guy who can't pay the insurance bill.

• 27:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, car insurance.

• 27:35Speaker 02

  Uh, and how do you pronounce the product that Crayola makes?

• 27:40Speaker 03

  Crayon.

• 27:40Speaker 02

  Crayon.

• 27:41Speaker 03

  Not crayon. How would you say it?

• 27:42H. Foley?

  I'd say crayon.

• 27:43Speaker 03

  Crayon? That's like Philly, right? You go Delaware, yeah, it's.

• 27:46H. Foley?

  Pack of crayons.

• 27:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, pack of crayons? No, crayon.

• 27:48H. Foley?

  He said it proper.

• 27:48Speaker 02

  I do crown. Pack of, Crayola crowns. Crowns, yeah, pack of crowns, yeah.

• 27:54Speaker 03

  Fucking queen have it on her head?

• 27:57Speaker 02

  My dad wasn't the short pistol in this yet.

• 27:59Speaker 03

  Where, where are you from? You're Philly too, right?

• 28:00Speaker 02

  Outside Philly, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:01Speaker 03

  Okay, I get it.

• 28:02Speaker 02

  Um.

• 28:03H. Foley?

  Ground, ground beef or hamburger meat?

• 28:06Speaker 03

  Hamburger meat. My wife says minced meat and I wanna just dropkick her.

• 28:09H. Foley?

  It's European though.

• 28:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's European shit.

• 28:11Speaker 03

  Minced meat. I'm like, hold on, you fucking seventy-eight? No one says minced meat.

• 28:15H. Foley?

  That's what Mike Tyson does with his opponents. Turn you into minced meat.

• 28:20H. Foley?

  That was always a beat you up thing. I'll turn you into mincemeat.

• 28:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:24Speaker 02

  It's always food with you.

• 28:25H. Foley?

  But I was fighting Jack Dempsey.

• 28:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:27H. Foley?

  Alright.

• 28:28Speaker 02

  Um, okay, what, uh, shit, what was the one, the last, the other one I had? Uh, how do you clean a public toilet seat?

• 28:35Speaker 03

  My tongue.

• 28:37H. Foley?

  The money's right, yeah, what do you mean?

• 28:39Speaker 03

  Uh, what do you mean?

• 28:40Speaker 02

  Like, if you're, yeah, you're somewhere that's like, not great.

• 28:42H. Foley?

  Do you have an issue with that?

• 28:43Speaker 02

  Will you dry it? Will you, what do you do?

• 28:45Speaker 03

  Here's what I do. Alright, I'll, I'll, I pull the toilet paper down. Obviously, you, you clean the seat.

• 28:50Speaker 02

  Give it a flyby.

• 28:51Speaker 03

  Now, it depends if it's a full seat, or if it's the one that goes like that with the little space.

• 28:55Speaker 02

  Let's do the U, yes, the U.

• 28:57Speaker 03

  Where all the piss collects.

• 28:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:57Speaker 03

  Because then you have to scrape that, and there have been times where I've gone out and gotten a little water and wiped that.

• 29:03Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 29:03Speaker 03

  And then pushed that thing into the toilet.

• 29:05Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 29:05Speaker 03

  And then take a nice fresh sheet or two, put it there, and then sit down and take my dump. But I has to be hygienic.

• 29:11Speaker 02

  Okay, that's good. That's a fucking gentleman.

• 29:13Speaker 03

  I had to shit when I came in here today, and I looked at your bathroom.

• 29:17Speaker 02

  It's pretty bad, right? It's not great at the moment.

• 29:19H. Foley?

  You didn't want to poop in there?

• 29:20Speaker 03

  No, just because I could hear you going, "Hey, you guys are chatting out here."

• 29:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, cuz you can kinda hear it.

• 29:25Speaker 03

  You can hear everything.

• 29:26H. Foley?

  But it wasn't a cleanliness thing. You would poop in there.

• 29:28Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I wouldn't care, and I wouldn't even care if you guys do, but it wasn't an emergency. But, um, I looked at your seat, and I was like, "Am I gonna have to clean this toilet seat?" And shit, I like a nice clean seat.

• 29:38H. Foley?

  And did you think you would have to clean it? Would you have given it a once-over?

• 29:41Speaker 02

  You have to.

• 29:41Speaker 03

  Well, I lifted it to piss, and I left it up because I piss slow, and I didn't want you guys to think I'd been shitting, so I left it up just so you knew.

• 29:48Speaker 02

  Oh, man, we are nuts.

• 29:49Speaker 03

  What I was doing.

• 29:50Speaker 02

  I go.

• 29:50Speaker 03

  It's pure mental illness.

• 29:51H. Foley?

  I'm just combing my hair!

• 29:53Speaker 03

  Yeah. That was the worst, when you're on a date, and you're taking a dump, and you knew you were away too long to be pissing. I would always come back with an excuse, "Yeah, my contacts." Like I was doing something other than shitting.

• 30:03Speaker 02

  I had to turn the shower all the time. It was, I was in there for so long.

• 30:07Speaker 03

  It steams it up, dude.

• 30:08Speaker 02

  It was so loud. It was early, it was early in my days.

• 30:10Speaker 03

  And it was her house.

• 30:11Speaker 02

  It was.

• 30:12Speaker 03

  You're showering in my house?

• 30:13Speaker 02

  It was her house.

• 30:14Speaker 03

  Really?

• 30:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude, it was just, it was, a night after, it was just bad. It was like, I'd rather, I, you know what's happening, I'd rather you not hear it.

• 30:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:22Speaker 02

  I'm like, you can use your imagination, but...

• 30:25H. Foley?

  Bet you really gave it to her after that, huh?

• 30:26Speaker 02

  Yeah. I was like Norton with Florentine. I went down on her for 45 minutes, I couldn't get hard.

• 30:34H. Foley?

  Do you like a surprise party?

• 30:37Speaker 03

  I've never had one thrown to me.

• 30:39Speaker 02

  Aw.

• 30:39Speaker 03

  I'm like Peter Brady, just running around the house, hoping for my party, and realizing my dad has AIDS.

• 30:46Speaker 02

  What was the high school you went to?

• 30:48Speaker 03

  North Brunswick Township High School.

• 30:49H. Foley?

  Hit him.

• 30:49Speaker 02

  Get on it.

• 30:50H. Foley?

  Find that if you're notable.

• 30:51Speaker 02

  A notable alum.

• 30:52Speaker 03

  I am, but I'm not. There's a soccer player who's first.

• 30:55Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 30:56Speaker 03

  It might be in the top five.

• 30:57Speaker 05

  Tim Howard beats you out.

• 30:58Speaker 02

  Oh, I know Tim Howard.

• 30:59Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's a tight list. It's only six people on the list.

• 31:02Speaker 02

  Go top to bottom.

• 31:03Speaker 05

  Uh, James Altucher.

• 31:05Speaker 03

  Oh, James Altucher is a good, he's still a friend.

• 31:07Speaker 05

  Uh, James, John Cameron.

• 31:09Speaker 02

  What's he fa- wait, what's James Altucher?

• 31:11Speaker 03

  He's like a, like, he goes broke on purpose and then makes a lot of money back. He's like, he owned Stand Up New York for a while. He's one of those guys. James, yeah, he's a really interesting, he's a great chess player.

• 31:20Speaker 02

  You went to high school with him?

• 31:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know him, I know him since fourth grade.

• 31:23Speaker 02

  He's like a billionaire, isn't he?

• 31:24Speaker 05

  Hedge fund manager.

• 31:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's like a billionaire.

• 31:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's a really smart guy. He's a very interesting guy.

• 31:28H. Foley?

  That's crazy.

• 31:29Speaker 05

  Got Tim, uh, Tim Howard, Jim Norton at number four.

• 31:32H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 31:33Speaker 05

  Aries Spears.

• 31:34Speaker 03

  Aries Spears, that's right.

• 31:35Speaker 02

  No shit. Yeah, but this is an alphabet- this is an alph- alphabetical order.

• 31:39Speaker 05

  No, it's not. Yeah, it's just ran, I think it's just, yeah.

• 31:41Speaker 03

  Aries is younger than me. I know Aries Spears since his mom used to bring him to open mics. He was such a, he was a talented young guy.

• 31:48Speaker 02

  Very, yeah.

• 31:49Speaker 03

  And, uh, we would go to a place called Arbogons. He'll, I'm sure he'll remember it, in East Brunswick. But his mother would bring him because he was, I think he was too young to go in and she would take him and you're like, this fucking kid is great. Like, why he would do Robocop and you just knew that this guy was, but I remembered him because that name, Aries Spears, is such a distinctive name. Yeah, but I know him a long time.

• 32:08Speaker 05

  He never graduated. He was expelled his sophomore year.

• 32:11Speaker 03

  Was he really?

• 32:11H. Foley?

  You don't gotta put that out there, what the hell?

• 32:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't think I remember him from school. I knew him from the open mics though. The two of us are both outcasts from high school.

• 32:19H. Foley?

  You little rat.

• 32:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, he didn't graduate. It's great.

• 32:22H. Foley?

  His Tony Soprano is fucking.

• 32:24Speaker 03

  I just saw that. Excellent. Really great.

• 32:26Speaker 02

  Well, there, notable alum. Jimmy Norton, love to see you. That's great. Um, let's say, what's the shower like at the house? Is it like a tub shower or a stand-up shower? Like the?

• 32:37H. Foley?

  Stand-up, that's a nice shower.

• 32:39Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, there are two. And the reason there's a second one is I got a tub, a nice tub, the second one. They said if you ever want to resell, a tub is good to have so parents with little kids can move in. It's a good thing to have. But the main shower is, um, it's, it's, it's a spa adventure. I wanted, it's a big glass.

• 32:59Speaker 02

  A gentleman.

• 32:59Speaker 03

  A, a true, a truly gentleman's steam experience.

• 33:05Speaker 03

  Because I have it where you can close off the top and it becomes a steam shower.

• 33:09Speaker 02

  What?

• 33:09Speaker 03

  So I can sit there and take a nice steam. Um, and I'm in a real good steam and then uh, it's, it's probably... It's, it's bigger than this table area.

• 33:19Speaker 02

  No shit!

• 33:20H. Foley?

  Got a nice place!

• 33:21Speaker 03

  And there's a chair in the shower, like there's a concrete looking thing.

• 33:26Speaker 02

  Like a bench?

• 33:27Speaker 03

  A bench, thank you, yeah.

• 33:28H. Foley?

  Got the watch chair in there?

• 33:30Speaker 02

  You got away with words.

• 33:32Speaker 03

  I like to sit there, it's, it's good when you're taking a steam and you want to just blow your nose and relax.

• 33:36H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 33:36Speaker 03

  Couple of robes hanging up in case there's company.

• 33:40Speaker 03

  For the jacuzzi, there's a couple of robes.

• 33:42Speaker 02

  There's a jacuzzi?

• 33:42Speaker 03

  Outside, yeah.

• 33:43H. Foley?

  Wait, hold on, so there...

• 33:44Speaker 02

  Out on the balcony?

• 33:46Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, yeah, you, you never been to my house?

• 33:48Speaker 02

  No, I never got there.

• 33:49H. Foley?

  Wait, you have a jacuzzi out on the balcony?

• 33:51Speaker 03

  On the terrace, yeah.

• 33:52Speaker 02

  The terrace, man!

• 33:53Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 33:54Speaker 02

  He's a fucking...

• 33:55H. Foley?

  And then there's a tub in the bathroom?

• 33:57Speaker 03

  Yes, with, with a jacuzzi jet.

• 33:58H. Foley?

  You can't walk out of the bathroom onto the balcony, can you?

• 34:01Speaker 03

  No, the balcony, if you want to get onto the terrace, you can go from, from the...

• 34:06Speaker 02

  He keeps correcting me.

• 34:08Speaker 03

  There is a little Juliet balcony.

• 34:10Speaker 02

  What the fuck is that? You're talking to two dirtbags?

• 34:12Speaker 03

  That's a small one.

• 34:13H. Foley?

  How many broads you got living there?

• 34:15Speaker 03

  None.

• 34:24Speaker 02

  Ahhh, few are as quick as Mr. Norton, baby.

• 34:37Speaker 03

  And uh, and, and what I love the most about my wife is that she would really enjoy that show. Now, if you go out on a Juliet balcony is um, when you leave the bedroom, there's a small, it's almost like it's enough room for one person. And you can just stand out there and look and it's probably, it's just enough for one person to relax, share a little table.

• 34:58Speaker 02

  I would jump, dude, if I woke up with a bad day.

• 35:00Speaker 03

  I thought of it, believe me, I thought of it.

• 35:02H. Foley?

  So then, in the bathroom, there's a bathtub that has a shower on it, that's, that's a jacuzzi bathroom.

• 35:07Speaker 03

  That's the guest bathroom, yes, that's the guest bathroom. That's attached to the living room, um, and the master bath has no, pardon me, no tub in it, it's just got the standing shower and the steam room. And the uh... And the outside area.

• 35:20Speaker 02

  Terrorist.

• 35:21Speaker 03

  Yes, has some places to sit and it's got the jacuzzi.

• 35:23Speaker 02

  How often are you using that jacuzzi?

• 35:25Speaker 03

  Not as often as you think, like, you think you're gonna use it. I had a new one put in. Because there was one that came with the place, but I was just like, it was a little smaller than I would care for. And, um, I didn't, uh, I don't want somebody else's jacuzzi energy.

• 35:37Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 35:39Speaker 03

  So I had to hire.

• 35:40Speaker 02

  Be wiping that thing down every day.

• 35:41H. Foley?

  This guy could have struck out all the time for all I know. He's got bad juju.

• 35:46Speaker 02

  This guy can't close. Yeah, I need my own, I need my new one.

• 35:48Speaker 03

  So, yeah, I did get, uh, we had a crane come and bring up a new one. That's how they put a jacuzzi on a terr- uh, they bring a crane out. Um.

• 35:56H. Foley?

  That cost extra?

• 35:57Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 35:57H. Foley?

  Jesus Christ!

• 35:59Speaker 02

  You should have got the forklift.

• 36:00Speaker 03

  It was ten grand to shut the fucking street down.

• 36:02H. Foley?

  Oh, my God!

• 36:04Speaker 03

  Um, and then they lift it up, they hoist it, and they, I have video of it going up. I don't know if I have it on my phone, but I have video of it being hoisted up and it, it literally takes ten seconds.

• 36:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:13Speaker 03

  And it's on top and they drop it.

• 36:15Speaker 02

  And then they're gone.

• 36:15Speaker 03

  And then the old, cause there's no other way to get a jacuzzi into a place. The next one, they, and the, the old one, they just break up with hammers and saws and take down by pieces.

• 36:23H. Foley?

  How long ago did you do this?

• 36:25Speaker 03

  Two thousand seventeen or sixteen, two thousand sixteen.

• 36:28H. Foley?

  That's insane!

• 36:29Speaker 03

  Oh, I don't know, maybe I did, I don't remember.

• 36:30Speaker 02

  No, no, you did not. Though I would hear stories of, you would have, what, you would have a barbecue or something of some kind.

• 36:36Speaker 03

  I've only had a couple. I'm not very social. Do you guys have had a barbecue?

• 36:39Speaker 02

  Nah, I mean, for myself, I can, and it sucks. But, there would be stories of you having these parties and I would hear by like, third hand, like, you gotta see the deck on this place.

• 36:50Speaker 03

  I would love to have had you guys, I, if I didn't ask.

• 36:52Speaker 02

  We weren't successful yet, Jim. I was still doing open mics.

• 36:55H. Foley?

  I might have bartended at it or something.

• 36:57Speaker 03

  In fairness, I did one of these, you know, August.

• 37:01Speaker 03

  And I would love you to have come. I don't know why I didn't, I didn't, I probably just forgot.

• 37:05H. Foley?

  So you don't have to take the dog down? The dog's a little dog, big dog?

• 37:07Speaker 03

  Tiny. We're so stupid. We wanted a cavapoo. And, uh, we thought it was a cavapoo, it's a Yorkie. But it's fine, cause it's hypoallergenic.

• 37:15H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 37:15Speaker 03

  And it's just, we've only had it two weeks. So it's a little, you know, it's shitting and pissing on pads. And, um, we have, we just, we took it.

• 37:23Speaker 02

  I have a feeling you are too.

• 37:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's much easier. I just keep eye contact with her to make sure she's not stealing my money.

• 37:31H. Foley?

  And on your wallet?

• 37:34Speaker 03

  And we brought, we brought him, uh, we brought the dog on the terrace and it's so scared of being outside. So we finally found treats that it likes, because the other dog treats it fucking hated. I don't know what kind of treats we got it, but my friend sent me some that this thing loves. So now we're just getting it to walk on the terrace.

• 37:50H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 37:51Speaker 03

  Needs its vaccinations.

• 37:52H. Foley?

  Gotcha.

• 37:52Speaker 03

  There's a vet at my place as I do this, and we found a vet that does house calls. And so the vet is coming to make sure it's up to date on vaccinations.

• 38:00H. Foley?

  Jesus.

• 38:01Speaker 03

  Yeah. Uh, and, uh, so my wife is dealing with the vet right now.

• 38:05H. Foley?

  Juliet terraces, have vets making house calls?

• 38:08Speaker 03

  The Juliet terrace is nice. It's good for one person if you want to just sit out there and, and take a glance at the city.

• 38:13H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 38:14Speaker 03

  You know, and relax.

• 38:16Speaker 02

  I mean, I don't think the word terrace has been said this much on fucking all epis- every, any episode.

• 38:20Speaker 03

  Terrace is a great word.

• 38:22Speaker 02

  Ah, okay. How big do you say the terrace is? I've heard it was big.

• 38:27Speaker 03

  It's a good size.

• 38:28Speaker 02

  I heard it turns. Is that true?

• 38:29Speaker 03

  There, it's, it's, it's a wrap, a wrap, a little bit of a wrap around.

• 38:32Speaker 02

  Got the corner, dog.

• 38:33Speaker 03

  Yeah. I, I have a, I have a camera. I could show you it, but it would, it's not impressive. You could just see the size of it. It's not.

• 38:40Speaker 02

  That's impressive. Terrace, New York City.

• 38:41Speaker 03

  Yeah. I wanted outdoor space. That's why I moved where I was. I was in a Trump building on the Upper West, which I loved. I mean, uh, the building is the best maintenance of any building.

• 38:49Speaker 02

  Oh, those buildings are beautiful. Yeah.

• 38:50Speaker 03

  Fucking great. I was on 70th and Riverside.

• 38:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, that, that whole, that whole little village.

• 38:54Speaker 03

  I love it up there. I love it, love it, love it. But, uh, I couldn't have afforded an outdoor

• 39:00H. Foley?

  Space up there?

• 39:01Speaker 03

  No, no, no. We've been crazy. So, um, I started looking on, uh, you know, the rest of the city.

• 39:06Speaker 02

  What year did you start making money?

• 39:08Speaker 03

  I started making money the first

• 39:11Speaker 02

  Get down a brass tax.

• 39:12Speaker 03

  The, the, the, the first money, first money I started making was, uh, I would say 10 years in when I, my first contract with Opie and Anthony, they had finally signed me. I was, was making 50,000 a year to be on the radio. That was a thousand bucks a week.

• 39:29Speaker 02

  Shh, back then?

• 39:29Speaker 03

  Back in, I was like, holy fuck.

• 39:31Speaker 02

  That's, as a comic, to do, to make $50,000 as a comic in New York and doing comedy adjacent, like living at the, in the comedy world?

• 39:39Speaker 03

  I still didn't. Jersey, I was paying 300 bucks a month rent.

• 39:41Speaker 02

  Oh, plus the shows, then your show, your probably road shows go up.

• 39:45Speaker 03

  I was selling out everywhere, yeah, yeah. And they doubled my salary to 100.

• 39:49Speaker 04

  Bonjour, compadre. It's the

• 39:53Speaker 04

  How do I negotiate so many great travel deals? My greatest gadget, the Priceline app. It's got hotel deals, flight deals, rental car deals, all of those deals in a bundle. Deals, game day deals, concert trip deals. No one deals more deals than Priceline. Hold your horses, there's more. The app lets you filter hotels by neighborhood, vibe, star level, and amenities like pools and spas and beachfronts. Wait, I'm not done. Stop cutting me off.

• 40:19Speaker 06

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• 40:49Speaker 03

  100,000. And then, but the show got kicked off the air before the paperwork was signed. So, yeah, I lost that. It was, that was heartbreaking.

• 40:57Speaker 02

  Bastards.

• 40:57Speaker 03

  That was when we got kicked off the radio in 2002. But, yeah, I had just signed to double the money and the paperwork hadn't gone through yet.

• 41:04H. Foley?

  Cancel the Juliette Paris.

• 41:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, oh, no. This is a dead white trash app. I had like, I was making 300, I was paying 300 bucks a month. Florentine was my roommate and his girlfriend, so we split a $900 rent three ways. And there was mold on the wall. Have you ever seen the video? It's called Jim Norton Cribs.

• 41:20Speaker 02

  No, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 41:20Speaker 03

  Black mold, it's disgusting. So, I'm like, I can afford a place now in New York. So, I got a two-year deal. They double, they double my, my money. And I got a two-year rent for 2,300 a month. So, I went from 300 a month to 2,300 a month.

• 41:35Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 41:36Speaker 03

  And five months in, we get fired. And I'm fucked. So like, thank God for tough crowd. That really

• 41:41Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah. Then tough crowd.

• 41:44H. Foley?

  Ups and downs, baby. I fucking love it.

• 41:45Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 41:46H. Foley?

  Kim, let's talk about Aura Frames.

• 41:47Speaker 02

  Oh, screaming from the rooftops, Aura Frames.

• 41:49H. Foley?

  Gangs, it's the goddamn holidays and you want to make it easy? Aura Frames, every broad on the list. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, everybody. Pass those things out like the old McDonald's gift cards. Hand out Aura Frames to everybody.

• 42:05Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 42:06H. Foley?

  Digital photograph frame. Upload it right from your phone. So they can keep up to date on what's going on in your life, the kids' lives, the recital, the this, the that. Johnny struck out at baseball, Timmy blew it in the soccer game. Let them know.

• 42:20Speaker 02

  Mm hmm. It's named the number one digital photo frame by Wirecutter. Aura makes it effortless to upload unlimited photos and videos directly from your phone. So your favorite memories are always within view. Plus, you can personalize and preload an Aura Frame for a truly special unforgettable gift. You want to know a good idea is doing x-ray to one for your, for your partner. Send all those, woo, see, you know what I mean? How that's it by the bed frame, get you going. A couple of DPs on there, whatever you need.

• 42:48H. Foley?

  Gonna need a zoom on that.

• 42:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, listen, so save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFrames.com to get $35 off Aura Frames. Best selling Carver Matte Frames by using the promo code garbage at checkout. That's Aura, A U R A, Frames.com, promo code garbage. This deal is exclusive to our listeners. So get yours now in time for the holidays. Terms and conditions apply to it.

• 43:06H. Foley?

  Mm hmm. Kimmy, Mint Mobile, Mint Mobile, Mint Mobile.

• 43:09Speaker 02

  Love it.

• 43:09H. Foley?

  I'll say it one more time, Mint Mobile. Been a, been a, been a sponsor for a minute now.

• 43:14Speaker 02

  Big supporter of the garbage boys.

• 43:16H. Foley?

  OG sponsor. Shout out to Mint Mobile gang. Why in the world are you paying so much for these big guy?

• 43:24Speaker 02

  Big box stores.

• 43:25H. Foley?

  Big box stores. What are you paying all this money for?

• 43:27Speaker 02

  Paying a light bill, you're paying a light bill, the insurance bill at those places. You're paying for the, for the door, the windows. Deal, get out of here with that.

• 43:35H. Foley?

  That's true. Mint Mobile done all online. That's why it's 15 bucks a month. You sign up for three months, that's 45 bucks. You're covered for three months. It's unbelievable.

• 43:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:44H. Foley?

  5G network. We're talking the good stuff.

• 43:47Speaker 02

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• 44:28H. Foley?

  Have you ever had a credit card cut up in front of you?

• 44:32Speaker 03

  No, but I did because I'm financially savvy. There were these escorts that used to accept credit cards and I would go there and always pay by credit card. And wouldn't you believe it that all of a sudden my credit card numbers got stolen?

• 44:45Speaker 02

  Fraudulent charges.

• 44:47Speaker 03

  And I had $10,000 on each card. And back then I was making no money. So I had to call the credit card company and they're like, "Where did you spend it?" And I'm like, "On a prostitute."

• 44:55Speaker 02

  Hey, get out in front of this.

• 44:57Speaker 03

  I'm single. I don't care. This is not my charges. $10,000 on each card. So I had to... That took me two years to straighten out. Fucking worst.

• 45:08Speaker 02

  Oh shit. That's like how they... Remember?

• 45:09H. Foley?

  I'm gonna put that down as a yes.

• 45:13Speaker 03

  They didn't actually cut it up.

• 45:15H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 45:15Speaker 03

  Yeah. You ever have a fucking credit card jizzed on and the number stolen? All right.

• 45:21Speaker 02

  Same saying. Oh, God. Um, do you put your shirt on then deodorant or deodorant then the shirt?

• 45:29Speaker 03

  Great question. I would say this morning, because I did think of that today. After the gym, I usually go home and shower, but I was coming here, so I showered at the gym. And I put my deodorant on first and then my shirt. But I don't like doing that because a lot of times, as you know, you pull it down and get that foot on the side.

• 45:46Speaker 02

  That's fatter guy. That's bigger body stuff.

• 45:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, and also, but also, Carol, sometimes after a shower, your shirt sticks to you because you're... There's a sheen on your body. So what I like to do is I have to hold it out and then wrap it around and lower it. Or I like to just do the shirt first. Great question.

• 46:02H. Foley?

  Okay. I use white deodorant now and I still never have that problem. I never get anything on me.

• 46:09Speaker 03

  Maybe you put your shirt on... Do you always stretch it out over your pits when you do it?

• 46:12H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's right.

• 46:15Speaker 02

  You've been talking to him. What's the shower like at the gym, single or is it like a big stall with a couple of guys?

• 46:22Speaker 03

  No, no, it's uh...

• 46:23H. Foley?

  That's not hedonism.

• 46:25Speaker 05

  The ripping and the tearing.

• 46:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, there's a, no, it's a bunch of individual showers.

• 46:29Speaker 02

  Pretty good.

• 46:30Speaker 03

  With like a plastic shower.

• 46:31Speaker 02

  Gotcha.

• 46:32Speaker 03

  Cause there's so many guys going in and out. Like I don't, I very rarely shower there. I usually go home, but like I said today I had to.

• 46:38H. Foley?

  Um, if we came over to the house right now and we asked for a glass of water, what would you, what would you be giving us?

• 46:44Speaker 03

  I'd be giving you a, uh, you mean a glass or a cup or a...

• 46:47H. Foley?

  Like would it be a bottle?

• 46:48Speaker 02

  Can I get a water?

• 46:48H. Foley?

  Brita?

• 46:49Speaker 03

  Oh, it would be out of the zero, uh, water filter. We have something called a zero water filter.

• 46:56H. Foley?

  Reverse osmosis?

• 46:58Speaker 03

  What's that?

• 46:58H. Foley?

  I don't know.

• 46:59Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 46:59H. Foley?

  Some rich guys use.

• 47:00Speaker 03

  No, this one takes all the, all the metals and stuff out of it.

• 47:03H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 47:04Speaker 03

  And there's a little thermometer on it where you can measure, like if you put it in water and hit the button, it tells you, like it gives you a number like 41, like that's how many metal per million. And then you do it with a, a zero water and you put the thermometer and it's zero. So it takes out a lot of stuff. Yeah.

• 47:20Speaker 02

  What do, uh, what's the cost on a zero there?

• 47:22Speaker 05

  Uh, the cost, is it, is, now is this the one attached to your sink or is this like a Brita?

• 47:28Speaker 03

  No, it's a big, a big one with two filters in it.

• 47:31Speaker 02

  Standalone.

• 47:32Speaker 03

  Yeah. It's a standalone.

• 47:34H. Foley?

  I think that is reverse osmosis.

• 47:36Speaker 03

  Is that what that is? I don't know.

• 47:37H. Foley?

  Could be.

• 47:38Speaker 02

  He also went to New Brunswick High School.

• 47:41H. Foley?

  Reverse osmosis?

• 47:42Speaker 03

  No, New Brunswick was kind of the hood high school. North Brunswick.

• 47:45Speaker 02

  Well, reverse osmosis went to New Brunswick.

• 47:47Speaker 05

  It is, I believe it's reverse osmosis and it's around $500.

• 47:51Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 47:51H. Foley?

  Okay, so that's what we're getting.

• 47:53Speaker 03

  There you go.

• 47:53H. Foley?

  How about the ice cubes? What's the ice cube situation?

• 47:55Speaker 03

  The ice cubes are made, uh, by the refrigerator. So, uh, but I do think it goes through a filter.

• 48:01H. Foley?

  Filter?

• 48:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I, I'll, I'll go and be happy to get you some. It's not as bad as tap water, but it's not as good as zero water.

• 48:07H. Foley?

  Freezer in the bottom?

• 48:08Speaker 03

  Two freezers.

• 48:09H. Foley?

  Two? Excuse me?

• 48:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, we have a, it's a sub-zero. You open a nice fridge and then freezer number one and then freezer number two.

• 48:17H. Foley?

  Sub Z's over in Norton.

• 48:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's a, it's a good fridge. I wanted a good fridge.

• 48:23Speaker 02

  What was the honeymoon? Did you do a honeymoon?

• 48:24Speaker 03

  No, um, we just, we got married because she came into the country, so we got married within 90 days.

• 48:30Speaker 02

  Did the same thing.

• 48:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, uh, no, uh, no honeymoon yet. We just travel whenever we want, so.

• 48:36H. Foley?

  Sure, doing your thing.

• 48:37Speaker 03

  The dog, we won't be able to.

• 48:38H. Foley?

  Will you bring a pillow from the bedroom out to the couch? Do you want to lay down and watch TV or whatever?

• 48:43Speaker 03

  Not often, but if I'm gonna sleep, there are times I have done that. She does it more than me because she's been sleeping in the living room because of the puppy.

• 48:50Speaker 02

  Gotcha.

• 48:50Speaker 03

  Uh, which is great because that's just me alone with a sock in my bedroom finally, having some alone time.

• 48:56Speaker 02

  Like you're on the road again.

• 48:58Speaker 03

  But, uh, yeah, once in a while I will. Uh, my couch is really big and it's like a cloud couch, so you can get comfortable on it.

• 49:05H. Foley?

  Gotcha. Will you ever bring a pillow on a plane from the house?

• 49:08Speaker 03

  No, but I used to bring one when I was opening for Dice in 97. My first gigs, I would bring a pillow in my checked luggage, like a total rookie.

• 49:16Speaker 02

  What?

• 49:17Speaker 03

  But now I wouldn't because I'm so scared of bedbugs. Uh, I'm afraid I'm gonna get bedbugs on my pillow, so no, I don't bring any, any bedding.

• 49:23Speaker 02

  Did he know you were checking the pillow, you're checking the pillow in your checked luggage?

• 49:27Speaker 03

  I mean, I, I don't know. No, I don't think so. I, I began doing Carry On shortly after.

• 49:32Speaker 02

  Jim, what are you doing?

• 49:33Speaker 03

  Hey, what are you checking me out of?

• 49:37Speaker 02

  This guy's checking bags.

• 49:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, I would hold the whole crew up.

• 49:41H. Foley?

  Man.

• 49:42Speaker 03

  But you learn fast. You learn fast. Don't check your bag. I mean, don't check the bag.

• 49:47Speaker 02

  I know. I've been there.

• 49:48H. Foley?

  When you brush your teeth, will you walk around a little bit or you do it right at the sink?

• 49:52Speaker 03

  I don't move, but the psychopath that I'm married to.

• 49:56H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 49:56Speaker 03

  Brushes her teeth. She'll take the toothbrush. She walks into the bedroom. She'll lay on the bed on her back with her feet up in the air, like in baby position. It's the most batshit crazy thing.

• 50:07H. Foley?

  Why?

• 50:08Speaker 03

  I don't know. I'd like to ask every uncle she has. There's a reason. I don't know what it is. But she literally lays on her back and like brushes her teeth like that with her feet up in the air bent. The way you would like, like a cat getting petted or a dog getting petted. Me, I stand there. I would let your toothbrush. I stand there. I don't move.

• 50:26H. Foley?

  His and her sinks, I assume?

• 50:27Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 50:27H. Foley?

  Okay, gentlemen.

• 50:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:30H. Foley?

  I like it.

• 50:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like my own sink.

• 50:32H. Foley?

  And you floss in every day?

• 50:34Speaker 03

  I do. I floss most, most days. Once in a while I forget, but we have a lot of floss there. And I do get complimented on my gums by the dentist.

• 50:42H. Foley?

  Very good.

• 50:42Speaker 03

  Thank you, yes.

• 50:43Speaker 02

  Will you swim at a hotel pool?

• 50:45Speaker 03

  Sure, I don't care. Absolutely. I mean, I went to Brazil and fucked without condoms. I'm not scared of a hotel pool. I'll drink it.

• 50:52Speaker 02

  It wasn't more of the germs.

• 50:56Speaker 02

  It was, do you enjoy it?

• 50:58Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 51:00Speaker 02

  Do you enjoy it as much as Brazil?

• 51:03H. Foley?

  You gotta bring Rio into this.

• 51:05Speaker 03

  So, yeah, I would, when I, when I'm in my swimming things, I'll do it, sure. But I'm, uh, my exercise has gotten, I've been doing, I work out a few days a week, but I haven't been exercising, like, with cardio. I just, I don't know. I would if I was back to doing that.

• 51:19Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 51:19H. Foley?

  When you said you take a shower at the gym, do you got flip flops on?

• 51:22Speaker 03

  Always.

• 51:22H. Foley?

  Okay. So you're worried about athletes' foot?

• 51:24Speaker 03

  Hundred percent. That gym, yeah, always wear.

• 51:26Speaker 02

  Now, where's that, did you bring the flip flops with you? You got a locker there?

• 51:29Speaker 03

  Um, I have them, uh, with me. I travel with them. I bring a bag with me and I bring it to radio in the morning and then I write to the gym after.

• 51:37H. Foley?

  So when you were banging in Rio, raw dog, did you have flip flops on?

• 51:40Speaker 03

  I did not. That's the funny part. Oh, no, I did. You know what? We were in this-

• 51:44Speaker 02

  I don't want to get icky toes.

• 51:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, it really is.

• 51:47Speaker 02

  I can say, it's fine, it's fine. Stand a cattle again.

• 51:51Speaker 03

  We, uh-

• 51:54H. Foley?

  Mr. Norton, you have icky toes.

• 51:56Speaker 02

  What?

• 51:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, I would actually, uh, we did. They, they gave you, in this, what they call a termus, in the whorehouse in Brazil called the Monte Carlo. And, uh-

• 52:03H. Foley?

  That's the nicest name I've ever heard in my life.

• 52:05Speaker 02

  See if we can get eyes on that.

• 52:06Speaker 03

  So fancy. And, uh, yeah, I was in there with Patrice and we were just, uh, we were wearing our flip flops. We went every day. Me, Keith, we were doing a hundred milligram Viagra's and then just going to this place. Hundred milligram Viagra's over the counter in Brazil.

• 52:20Speaker 02

  That's why you had to stroke.

• 52:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was just thinking that as I said it.

• 52:23Speaker 02

  That's why it's too much Viagra.

• 52:24H. Foley?

  I'm not checking out the sites or going to Foggy Day Chouse.

• 52:28Speaker 03

  Well, we did that one night. Uh, we would see the sites in the taxi on the way.

• 52:32H. Foley?

  A hundred milligram.

• 52:34Speaker 03

  A hundred milligrams a night and just going, be three, four girls a night. It was crazy. It was crazy. Yeah.

• 52:41Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's like the most famous brothel in Brazil.

• 52:44Speaker 03

  There was another one too. I forget what it was called, but the Monte Carlo, there was cops going there. Like, it was, there was security. I mean, you had a locker. There was no cash exchange. Like, they had a whole system.

• 52:55Speaker 02

  Is it only Google Business?

• 52:57Speaker 05

  Uh, there's like, tons of articles are written about it. Carmelo Anthony accidentally went there.

• 53:05Speaker 02

  So did Jim.

• 53:05Speaker 03

  Me too. I accidentally, I had a residency there.

• 53:09H. Foley?

  I thought it was Monte Cristo. I was looking for a sandwich. I liked the Swiss cheese. Ah, that's beautiful.

• 53:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, we spent a lot of nights there.

• 53:18Speaker 02

  Fuck me. Um, okay.

• 53:21H. Foley?

  Huh. Are you guys still not, I remember we talked to you. You're not, you're not big on the cooking. Is she cooking now at all, or?

• 53:26Speaker 03

  She makes great stew. Um, and she makes Norwegian food, which I don't like at all.

• 53:30Speaker 02

  A lot of fish, right?

• 53:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, and it's not good, but she's a good cook when she wants to. If it's something she likes, something she can eat, she cooks. Me, not at all.

• 53:39Speaker 02

  So you're doing takeout? Or you're going out?

• 53:41Speaker 03

  Or yeah, I order these meals, like these Whole30 meals. It's a diet that I do.

• 53:45H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 53:46Speaker 03

  So, uh, I'll, twice a week, these pre-made meals come in. We got this great egg, uh, it's like a, a, egg grill outside.

• 53:54H. Foley?

  Sure. Oh, the, oh, the Green John's. Yes, okay.

• 53:57Speaker 03

  And, uh, I just don't use it. I have a little Weber I want to throw out and then use this one, but I'm so bad at getting started. Did you say Green John?

• 54:04Speaker 02

  John, yeah.

• 54:05H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 54:06Speaker 03

  John, oh, that's the affiliate thing. That's, yeah.

• 54:07H. Foley?

  The green, the green egg thing.

• 54:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I gotta learn to cook on it.

• 54:12H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 54:12Speaker 03

  That's a goal.

• 54:13H. Foley?

  So like, you go home tonight, what are you gonna do?

• 54:15Speaker 03

  Um, what's today? Today's usually, I'll go home, um, we'll see what the dog's up to with the vet, and I will do, uh, we have dinner plans tonight.

• 54:23H. Foley?

  Very nice.

• 54:24Speaker 03

  A nice dinner.

• 54:25Speaker 02

  With just you two or another couple?

• 54:27Speaker 03

  No, we got invited to Rouse, uh, that place in, uh, Rayo.

• 54:30H. Foley?

  Rayo. You're going to Rayo's tonight?

• 54:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 54:32Speaker 02

  It's fucking Jim Norton.

• 54:33H. Foley?

  What the fuck, Jim Norton? Jesus Christ.

• 54:34Speaker 03

  I've never been there. Uh, my friend knows somebody who has a table there. Everyone says it's amazing, so... Have you been?

• 54:41Speaker 02

  No. Can't even get, can't even get to fucking Applebee's in Midtown.

• 54:45Speaker 03

  I wish I had gone last night so I could come in and discuss what a wonderful meal.

• 54:49H. Foley?

  Throw that in our face.

• 54:50Speaker 03

  But we're looking forward to that, and then tomorrow I'll just do spots.

• 54:53H. Foley?

  Wow, there you go.

• 54:54Speaker 03

  Rayo's.

• 54:55Speaker 02

  Rayo's, that's a fucking...

• 54:56Speaker 03

  I know. You had to accept, you can't say no.

• 54:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, you can't say no.

• 55:00H. Foley?

  Jim Norton has really turned it around. I'll tell you that.

• 55:03Speaker 02

  Really have.

• 55:04Speaker 03

  I think so.

• 55:04H. Foley?

  Unbelievable.

• 55:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean.

• 55:06H. Foley?

  This is a fucking, this might be the first time that we had a legit garbage to fucking, this kid's all class now.

• 55:12Speaker 03

  You think I've really upped my game?

• 55:13H. Foley?

  What are you talking about?

• 55:14Speaker 02

  You got a goddamn terrace.

• 55:15H. Foley?

  And not even the money, just how you're handling it, what you're doing with it, you got the dog, you're going to Rayo's.

• 55:20Speaker 02

  Got a nice car.

• 55:22Speaker 03

  I do have a decent car, but my lease is up in February. I don't know if this will knock me back down into the trash bin, but my lease is up in February and I'm probably gonna get a much cheaper car, cause it's a waste of money.

• 55:31Speaker 02

  What are you gonna get, you think? What are you eyeing up? You got a Mercedes now, right?

• 55:34Speaker 03

  No, no, no, right now I have a BMW X6. I had a Mercedes, uh, last time, but X6 I lease, um, and the garage is expensive, so I wanna get like, uh, cheaper garage. Gee, I don't drive enough, you know?

• 55:45H. Foley?

  Garage in the building?

• 55:47Speaker 03

  No, unfortunately, no. The old, they don't have one, my old, and on the block it closes at midnight. I don't wanna fucking curfew my car, so.

• 55:55Speaker 02

  I gotta get home.

• 55:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, like Garage Guy's gonna be pissed. I gotta go like, three blocks and then park it and then walk home.

• 56:03H. Foley?

  He's standing there in his robe waiting for you. Where have you been?

• 56:07Speaker 03

  So yeah, that's, uh, a garage in the building. I had that in the Trump building, which was, I mean, you can't do better than that.

• 56:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's, I mean, that's, the, I mean, that's the epitome of making it. You got a fucking garage in a building in Manhattan.

• 56:19Speaker 03

  They had security, like, you would order food and security would walk the food guy up. Not your guests, but if you have like, a food order, there was a guy in a coat.

• 56:28Speaker 02

  Yo, you know this motherfucker?

• 56:30Speaker 03

  He would walk up and, and, uh, stand at the end of the hall while security did it, just where they couldn't mess around in the building.

• 56:35H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 56:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:37Speaker 02

  Tight ship.

• 56:38Speaker 03

  Bruce Willis used to live in the building.

• 56:39H. Foley?

  No kidding?

• 56:40Speaker 03

  Steven Tyler, yeah, there were some good residents.

• 56:42Speaker 02

  Did you ever see them?

• 56:43Speaker 03

  I saw Bruce Willis once or twice, and I shot a scene with him in that Kevin Smith movie, uh, Cop Out.

• 56:50H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 56:51Speaker 02

  Sure, yes.

• 56:51Speaker 03

  I had one scene with Bruce, and he was, everyone said he was very difficult, and Kevin didn't like him, uh, but I had a good moment with him, uh, because I told him, oh yeah, we live at, and, and so when he knew that we were in the same building, he was very nice to me.

• 57:04Speaker 02

  It was like, oh, you're, yeah.

• 57:05Speaker 03

  You don't wanna be a dick to a guy you're gonna see in the fucking, you know, at the mailbox.

• 57:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:09H. Foley?

  You gotta get your Taco Bell delivered every time.

• 57:13H. Foley?

  All right.

• 57:14Speaker 02

  I mean.

• 57:15H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 57:15Speaker 02

  This is, I was not expecting this. He's very meticulous, very well thought out.

• 57:21H. Foley?

  Which you've always been.

• 57:22Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 57:23H. Foley?

  And you've been doing well for a long time, but man, when you really compare the childhood in the beginning to this.

• 57:30Speaker 02

  Well, you do socks and then pants or pants and then socks?

• 57:33H. Foley?

  When you get dressed.

• 57:34Speaker 03

  Socks first because I don't like to have to roll up the, the, the bottom part of my trouser.

• 57:40Speaker 02

  That I got for my haberdashers.

• 57:42H. Foley?

  My chinos.

• 57:43Speaker 03

  I don't want to wrinkle the bottom of my trouser putting on a sock.

• 57:47H. Foley?

  What are you sleeping in? We might have asked you before, what are you sleeping in now?

• 57:50Speaker 03

  Nude.

• 57:51H. Foley?

  Straight nude.

• 57:52Speaker 03

  Totally nude unless I am on the road. I hate boutique hotels. I, I, I hate boutique hotels.

• 57:59Speaker 02

  What's the chain you like?

• 58:00Speaker 03

  Marriott. Marriott because the bedding is comfy and cool and great and it's like they don't overdo it with starch like I.

• 58:08Speaker 02

  This guy's doing starch now.

• 58:09Speaker 03

  I hate these places that, that like try, because the sheets are itchy, so I'll wear a t-shirt. I have very soft skin. Don't be shy. Go ahead. I mean, I mean.

• 58:18H. Foley?

  Holy shit. What's that, Keel's? Get in on that.

• 58:22Speaker 02

  Jesus Christ, that's soft.

• 58:24Speaker 03

  It really, I mean, I do appreciate it.

• 58:26H. Foley?

  Like a puppy's belly.

• 58:27Speaker 03

  So I, I, I get itchy very easy, so I like to have a nice, a, a nice, a, a soft sheet. The Marriott chains, anything that's Marriott, I'll stay in. Boutique hotels, I'll take a Courtyard Marriott any day.

• 58:40H. Foley?

  What's a boutique, what do you say, like an Aloft or something like that?

• 58:43Speaker 02

  The Johnson, the downtown Cleveland or whatever.

• 58:46Speaker 03

  Weird name, like, you know, the Saint Marie.

• 58:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, that older shit.

• 58:49H. Foley?

  I'm assuming you don't like when the, when the toilet and the, and the shower are like in the same room.

• 58:55Speaker 03

  No, I don't mind that.

• 58:56H. Foley?

  Not in the same room, but like, you know what I'm talking about? Like at the Tommy?

• 58:59Speaker 02

  Oh, no. So like some of these real small, new, cool hipper things are like, uh, the whole bathroom is kinda tiled.

• 59:08H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 59:08Speaker 02

  And then the toilet is kind of in the shower.

• 59:12H. Foley?

  And the sink's outside of the door.

• 59:13Speaker 03

  I've never seen that.

• 59:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's not slumming it.

• 59:15Speaker 03

  Here's what I don't like. Here's a boutique hotel.

• 59:18Speaker 02

  He's staying at the Thompson when he goes down to Austin. He's staying at the Tommy.

• 59:21Speaker 03

  I know, but the, with the Four Seasons where you want to stay in Austin.

• 59:23Speaker 02

  We did once on points.

• 59:25Speaker 03

  That's a great.

• 59:25Speaker 02

  And they knew we didn't belong.

• 59:28H. Foley?

  Shared a room.

• 59:29Speaker 03

  When you open and close, uh, like a boutique hotel giveaway is they have those barn doors that slide along tracks.

• 59:37H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 59:37Speaker 03

  To open and close.

• 59:38H. Foley?

  The bathroom.

• 59:39Speaker 03

  Yes, I hate it.

• 59:40H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 59:41Speaker 03

  And a lot of times, a lot of times there's hardwood floors and not carpets. Uh, I hate them so much.

• 59:47Speaker 02

  Do you have any hat, like any, any?

• 59:49H. Foley?

  Look at Luke.

• 59:49Speaker 03

  You know what I'm talking about. Yeah, they're the worst. Give me a rip.

• 59:53Speaker 02

  He's a fucking rich kid.

• 59:54H. Foley?

  He's loving this.

• 59:55Speaker 02

  Travels around on my dime.

• 59:57H. Foley?

  Sheen Norton.

• 59:57Speaker 03

  And R C is where I'd prefer to stay.

• 59:59Speaker 02

  Oh, Ritz Carlton.

• 1:00:00Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 1:00:01Speaker 02

  Very nice.

• 1:00:02Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:00:03H. Foley?

  Okay. You ever stay at the Plaza here in the city for shits and gigs?

• 1:00:06Speaker 03

  I have not, no. Um.

• 1:00:08Speaker 02

  Let's do it this weekend.

• 1:00:10H. Foley?

  I'll stay at the Plaza.

• 1:00:11Speaker 02

  The three of us.

• 1:00:12Speaker 03

  You know, I've stayed in only like one or two hotels ever in New York. I've been in a lot of them.

• 1:00:17H. Foley?

  Fair enough.

• 1:00:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, someone's back in town. Gotta go say hello. Uh, but no, I don't know if I, maybe once or twice I've stayed in a hotel in New York. I, I can't, uh, the best hotel I've ever stayed at, probably the Bel Air in, um, it's not, it's such a, it's just a comfortable, perfect hotel in, uh, in Bel Air. I've stayed there once. My wife and I, I got invited to Sharon Osborne's birthday party a few years ago. And I'm like, let's make this.

• 1:00:41Speaker 02

  You have such a wild just history. I love it.

• 1:00:44Speaker 03

  It was such a great life.

• 1:00:45H. Foley?

  You're talking about forklifts 20 minutes ago.

• 1:00:47Speaker 03

  But we got.

• 1:00:48Speaker 02

  I don't want to be back on that ramp. The wood was rotted. So I'm there with Sharon Osborne.

• 1:00:52Speaker 03

  But I'm saying that like, cause it was such a special thing. Like, I'm like, let's get a great hotel and like, let's just. Let's have a great weekend in LA. So we stayed there for like three, it's unbelievable. I mean, well, it's well worth it.

• 1:01:02H. Foley?

  You like a hotel breakfast?

• 1:01:04Speaker 03

  I do. I, I, I confess. I like a nice.

• 1:01:08Speaker 02

  You got me.

• 1:01:09Speaker 03

  I like, I, I am guilty, guilty as charged. I like a, a fine hotel breakfast.

• 1:01:14H. Foley?

  I enjoy a crumpet every once in a while.

• 1:01:16Speaker 03

  I do. And they bring in the little treats. I mean, who am I to say no?

• 1:01:20Speaker 02

  Well, you do a room service.

• 1:01:22Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, I will. I like a nice 24 hour room service.

• 1:01:25Speaker 02

  The Ritz has that.

• 1:01:26Speaker 03

  Sure. I was just in Chicago. I stayed at the Trump Hotel. Nice.

• 1:01:29Speaker 02

  Where'd you stay when we were in DC?

• 1:01:32Speaker 03

  When I was in DC, I stayed, it was in a Marriott property that they, that, that they were paying for, but it was a very nice hotel. Like it was a, you know, like there was a mall attached to it, Starbucks. I mean, it had everything. I'm not crazy like that, like I'll stay in a nice, just a nice Marriott's all I need, yeah.

• 1:01:49Speaker 02

  Well, I mean, we'll, we'll, we'll jump up to a nicer one when we have the points and it's just me and him, because we travel with like a team when we go on the road, so it's usually-

• 1:01:58H. Foley?

  It's our anniversary or something.

• 1:01:59Speaker 02

  Yeah. If I know he's gonna put out. We'll, we'll use points to upgrade to something nice. Do you have any, any tips or tricks or things, hacks that you do when you get into a hotel? Like, I close the windows, you know, like seal the, the blinds or anything? Any, anything you do to set up to get how you like it?

• 1:02:18Speaker 03

  Here's what I do, and it's not glamorous. I take the thing for the luggage out of the closet, and I put my luggage on that, never on the bed, because I'm paranoid about bedbugs, and I take all my clothes out and I'll maybe put them on top of the dresser. I don't fuck with the drawers, or I'll actually leave them in the suitcase. I, I'm very white trashy in a hotel, but it's purely a bedbugs issue.

• 1:02:38Speaker 02

  Well, I mean, I don't even, I've never used that thing. I go right on the other bed. Or even the desk. I'll put my luggage on the desk.

• 1:02:44Speaker 03

  Never, I would never put my luggage on, a desk maybe, yes, but not, not the, the bed. I did stay recently in a fine hotel.

• 1:02:55H. Foley?

  I love the way you say it.

• 1:02:56Speaker 03

  And I used the drawers. In, in certain places, I'm like, you're probably okay.

• 1:03:00Speaker 02

  Really getting fancy gym today.

• 1:03:01H. Foley?

  He really is, man.

• 1:03:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, this is snooty nose in the air gym, fresh, fresh-

• 1:03:06Speaker 02

  I like it.

• 1:03:07Speaker 03

  Fresh from the gymnasium.

• 1:03:09Speaker 02

  Flex that muscle, baby.

• 1:03:10Speaker 03

  But I feel like, uh, yeah, but if the hotel is good, I'll use the drawer. Like, we, I forget the place in LA we stayed at that was really nice. Like, when they want to, when a hotel wants to rope you in, a lot of times they'll upgrade you the first time you're there, um, and then like-

• 1:03:23Speaker 02

  We've never had that. They do not want us coming back.

• 1:03:27H. Foley?

  I'm by the, I'm an ice machine guy.

• 1:03:30Speaker 02

  Where's those vending machines, dog?

• 1:03:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, I, I like, uh, I like, when I walk into the lobby, I like when they go, "Welcome, Mr. Norton." Like, I like that. I'm a piece of shit. I want-

• 1:03:40H. Foley?

  You like the, the white tea oil that they have in there, like the smell that-

• 1:03:43Speaker 03

  I do.

• 1:03:44H. Foley?

  The fancy hotels have.

• 1:03:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yes. I, I want, I want borderline worship from the staff.

• 1:03:49H. Foley?

  Are you taking any of that stuff home with you? You taking any of the lotions or the soaps or anything?

• 1:03:53Speaker 03

  No, but I did marry a hotel thief. I married a thief. We have stuff from hotels all over the world. A book that was in like the fucking, some Italy hotel, I'm like, what are you doing?

• 1:04:02Speaker 02

  Stole a book?

• 1:04:03Speaker 03

  She, she stole a book. I didn't.

• 1:04:06Speaker 02

  You guys are Bonnie and Clyde, you're rolling together, dog. I don't know what to tell you.

• 1:04:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I don't know what's there until we actually walk in the house. They're like, "What the fuck is this?" She's like, "Oh, I got it from the hotel."

• 1:04:14Speaker 02

  Got it from the hotel?

• 1:04:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, she stole it. Yeah.

• 1:04:17Speaker 02

  Huh.

• 1:04:17Speaker 03

  So no, I don't take anything.

• 1:04:19Speaker 02

  I mean, okay, this has been a, I mean-

• 1:04:21H. Foley?

  This is a turnaround. It's the comeback of all comebacks.

• 1:04:24Speaker 02

  All-time turnaround.

• 1:04:25Speaker 03

  Well, thank you.

• 1:04:26H. Foley?

  Fucking classiest guy in New York, you got dinner at Rayo's. Jim Norton, everybody.

• 1:04:31Speaker 03

  Well, thank you very much.

• 1:04:32Speaker 02

  Goddamn, Harris.

• 1:04:32Speaker 03

  Yes, I appreciate that. It makes me feel, uh, like, uh, I've been working hard since the last time, and I felt like I presented myself as absolute garbage juice.

• 1:04:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:43Speaker 03

  Like that cl- that collects at the bottom of the bag.

• 1:04:45Speaker 02

  Uh-huh, sure.

• 1:04:46Speaker 03

  And I said, "I wanted to, I wanted to turn it around, and I wanted to, you know?"

• 1:04:49H. Foley?

  We didn't get, what, what are you thinking of getting after the, after the Beamer, though? What would the new lease be?

• 1:04:53Speaker 02

  Oh, right.

• 1:04:54Speaker 03

  Wouldn't be anything fancy. It's, it's simply something that's good in the snow and the rain. Uh, four-wheel drive. Sensible car.

• 1:05:01H. Foley?

  A Jeep, maybe?

• 1:05:03Speaker 03

  Maybe. Something a lot less expensive.

• 1:05:05Speaker 02

  An Audi?

• 1:05:06Speaker 03

  Hmm, maybe. Depends on the price. Because my contract is up, so again, we have to be-

• 1:05:11H. Foley?

  You're not going like Daewoo or Kia or something like that, right?

• 1:05:14Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no, no. Maybe, uh, not a RAV4, but-

• 1:05:16H. Foley?

  That's about to reverse my decision.

• 1:05:18Speaker 03

  No, no, no, I understand that, but like, again, a lot of times the fancier people have very, uh, smart vehicles, very economical. I've just noticed that a lot of the times the best people have a very average car. Because they don't want to showcase their wealth and success.

• 1:05:32Speaker 02

  Now, are you gonna go, or do you send the help to go?

• 1:05:36Speaker 03

  To get the car?

• 1:05:36H. Foley?

  He sends us.

• 1:05:38Speaker 02

  It's me and you. I'm testing it for my friend. He's very big. He eats at Rayo's, this guy.

• 1:05:44Speaker 03

  I will test it, but when I got a Mercedes, they actually drove it to my house. Uh, BMW did not do that. It was in the city, so they're like, "Well, yeah, you can, we'll be here till 5."

• 1:05:52Speaker 02

  Come get it, jerk off.

• 1:05:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:05:55Speaker 02

  And don't, don't bring your wife, we should be stealing shit.

• 1:05:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly. Leave that fucking, leave that thief at home.

• 1:06:00H. Foley?

  Can do coffee machine at the house? Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Jim Norton.

• 1:06:04Speaker 03

  Thank you very much.

• 1:06:06H. Foley?

  Brand new podcast on YouTube that you have to check out, Nicky and Jim, um, Buddy.

• 1:06:11Speaker 03

  Told Sword Fight the podcast, yes.

• 1:06:12H. Foley?

  What's that?

• 1:06:13Speaker 03

  Sword Fight.

• 1:06:13H. Foley?

  Sword Fight?

• 1:06:14Speaker 03

  It's the podcast, yes.

• 1:06:14H. Foley?

  Oh, I thought it was Nicky.

• 1:06:16Speaker 03

  That's the channel, Nicky and Jim NYC.

• 1:06:17Speaker 02

  Okay, gotcha.

• 1:06:18H. Foley?

  I love it. Thank you very much, Buddy.

• 1:06:20Speaker 03

  I love you guys.

• 1:06:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, man.

• 1:06:21Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 1:06:22H. Foley?

  We love you. We can't thank you enough for coming in. Jim Norton, everybody.

• 1:06:25Speaker 03

  Thank you very much.

• 1:06:26Speaker 02

  Anything else you want to... The first time you ever did that, it really threw me off.

• 1:06:30H. Foley?

  Hey, goddamn classy!

• 1:06:31Speaker 03

  Well, I'm on the road doing gigs, so...

• 1:06:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, where you at? Just dropping this week, so where you at? Plug away if you have anything coming up.

• 1:06:37Speaker 03

  Before the end of the year, Tarrytown, and I also have Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, then I got the mothership in Austin. I got Laconia, New Hampshire. I got Rhode Island. I got Hollywood. I got a bunch of places. Seattle, Tampa. You shouldn't have mentioned, ask me where, everywhere.

• 1:06:52Speaker 02

  Great, love it.

• 1:06:53H. Foley?

  The legend, Jim Norton, everybody. Kip, what do you got for him?

• 1:06:55Speaker 02

  Guys, we're off the road for a little bit. New tour dates coming, uh, early next year. We fucking love you, and we'll see you out there.

• 1:07:02H. Foley?

  Jim, we love you. Gang, we love you. We'll see you next week.

• 1:07:04Speaker 03

  Thank you, guys.