Shoplifting w/ Kippy & Foley!

Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to talk shoplifting, Home Depot and dog bites, Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG & Friends: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Aura Frames: https://auraframes.com Promo Code: garbage This Show is sponsored by BetterHelp Better Help: https://www. BetterHelp.com/GARBAGE Sheath: https://www.sheathunderwear.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Mando: https://shopmando.com Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

• 0:19H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

• 0:25Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 0:25H. Foley?

  It's that little show where we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out if they're good to be classy, but they're just a big ol' piece of trash.

• 0:32Speaker 02

  Trash, trash, trash.

• 0:33H. Foley?

  I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Toody's in the new addition. She was out late last night.

• 0:39Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 0:40H. Foley?

  Flash mob.

• 0:41Speaker 02

  Okay, good for her.

• 0:42H. Foley?

  Flash mob. She's starting it up, bringing it back, baby.

• 0:45Speaker 02

  She shows her tits to the fucking neighborhood kids?

• 0:47H. Foley?

  Causing trouble. My co-host is coming at you from across the table. It's what we call a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies. Perfect for the holiday season.

• 0:57Speaker 02

  Yes, sir.

• 0:57H. Foley?

  Give it up for my good pal, KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

• 1:00Speaker 02

  What up, gang? Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. And obviously, the greatest website of all time. I ain't gotta tell nobody in this room. www.patreon.com/areyougarbage. You go over there, you get all your bonus content, gang.

• 1:17H. Foley?

  About 13,000 strong.

• 1:19Speaker 02

  Woo!

• 1:21H. Foley?

  Goddamn legion. The legions of Are You Garbage. How you feeling, Kippy?

• 1:25Speaker 02

  I'm pretty good, bud.

• 1:26H. Foley?

  Yeah?

• 1:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, you know, off a nice little break for the Turkey Day.

• 1:32H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 1:32Speaker 02

  I, uh...

• 1:33H. Foley?

  It's funny, you were down somewhere when it was a little sun.

• 1:35Speaker 02

  Uh-huh.

• 1:36H. Foley?

  I think you got paler.

• 1:37Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:39H. Foley?

  Well, what are you wearing? SPF 90?

• 1:40Speaker 02

  We got rained out. I was gonna save it for hard feelings.

• 1:43H. Foley?

  Oh, my God, you loser.

• 1:45Speaker 02

  The kids got rained out. Talk about overkissed. It was all right for me. My pale Irish skin, I ain't gotta be down there.

• 1:53H. Foley?

  13 Sullivan's all watching Wicked.

• 1:59H. Foley?

  What the hell is this?

• 2:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, no.

• 2:01H. Foley?

  Why is that broad green?

• 2:03Speaker 02

  Well, we'll say that for-

• 2:04H. Foley?

  Should we get some bad oysters?

• 2:05Speaker 02

  We'll say that for hard feelings, but, yeah, there was a-

• 2:09H. Foley?

  You stink.

• 2:09Speaker 02

  It was, uh, there was-

• 2:10H. Foley?

  It could have been sunny and 90, you still could have went and came back pale.

• 2:13Speaker 02

  No.

• 2:14H. Foley?

  You don't color. I've never seen you with a tan.

• 2:17Speaker 02

  I burn. I burn. Listen, I've burned. We've gone over this, and I don't know why you claimed tanniness as like a badge of honor.

• 2:23H. Foley?

  Like a piece of sourdough.

• 2:25Speaker 02

  You think it's like a cool thing.

• 2:27H. Foley?

  I got a nice, I got a little Italian blood in me.

• 2:29Speaker 02

  I'm not saying you don't, but like, it's also not, I got other stuff going on in my life I'm proud of. I don't need to-

• 2:35H. Foley?

  Hey, good color's important.

• 2:36Speaker 02

  I'm not saying it's not. Um, but, yeah, no, I've learned, this is well documented, I've learned, uh, I'm under the umbrella, I'm fucking, I'm doused in fucking SPF, I'm, I ain't getting God again. That melanoma goes through my family.

• 2:52H. Foley?

  Couple of hot moles.

• 2:54Speaker 02

  People are getting shit lopped off left and right in my family.

• 2:57H. Foley?

  Man, Patty, Jesus.

• 2:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, you gotta go, and you like pat them on their back, like, ah, my, my wound.

• 3:03H. Foley?

  I feel like her dermatologist is gonna give her a fucking razor blade and do it yourself.

• 3:07Speaker 02

  Listen, it just gave you a couple of bucks. Yeah, nah, man, we got that pale Irish skin, they get, you know, in, in the 80s and 90s, we wearing, uh-

• 3:15H. Foley?

  Irish pale ale.

• 3:16Speaker 02

  We were-

• 3:17H. Foley?

  And IPA.

• 3:18Speaker 02

  We wearing, uh, we wearing sun, suntan lotion.

• 3:22H. Foley?

  Nah.

• 3:22Speaker 02

  That didn't start until the mid 2000s for us.

• 3:24H. Foley?

  Somebody said nothing.

• 3:25Speaker 02

  I used to, I got burnt some, I used to have blisters on my shoulders and stuff. I-

• 3:30H. Foley?

  I was in the winter.

• 3:31Speaker 02

  I was under heat lamp. Um, I got a little, I got, I got, I got something I wanna, uh, get your opinion on, and also, I guess, uh, all the homies and the bozos out there, what the proper protocol? So yesterday, I went to, uh, I went to buy, it's the holiday season.

• 3:48H. Foley?

  Holiday season. Happy holidays to everybody.

• 3:50Speaker 02

  It is upon us. Uh, I'm gonna, I've decided to decorate the house this year.

• 3:54H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 3:54Speaker 02

  The house and the burbs. I didn't do it last year. We were moving, it wasn't really done, the whole nine yards, blah, blah, blah, now we're in there. Um, we're gonna, uh, so I went and got a, I went to Home Depot.

• 4:04H. Foley?

  Home Depot.

• 4:05Speaker 02

  Went down to the depot.

• 4:06H. Foley?

  Manhouse.

• 4:07Speaker 02

  In there.

• 4:08H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 4:08Speaker 02

  Madhouse dude.

• 4:10H. Foley?

  By the way, speaking of Home Depot, I was actually at Home Depot last week. Had a chance to pop by that Rocco's.

• 4:16Speaker 02

  Man, it took everything in my power not to turn in there.

• 4:18H. Foley?

  Woo wee!

• 4:19Speaker 02

  Shout out to Rocco's in front of the Home Depots. They know what, they know their way around an Italian salzige. Talk about getting a little color. How you doing?

• 4:27H. Foley?

  That kitty knows how to put out a hot dog, let me tell you.

• 4:30Speaker 02

  Um, so I bought a, I bought a fake Christmas tree.

• 4:34H. Foley?

  Boom.

• 4:35Speaker 02

  Lights and all. Comes to the, now listen. Uh, fake tree's the way to go. I am what I am.

• 4:43H. Foley?

  Here's the thing too.

• 4:43Speaker 02

  It's not all, dude, you pull that thing, I had that thing assembled.

• 4:46H. Foley?

  What'd you drop on it?

• 4:48Speaker 02

  Uh.

• 4:48H. Foley?

  Cause they're not cheap. Which is crazy.

• 4:51Speaker 02

  What's not cheap?

• 4:52H. Foley?

  Uh, that's why I found out that my mom always wanted one, but never got one because they're too expensive.

• 4:59Speaker 02

  Uh, what's not cheap?

• 4:59H. Foley?

  She'd rather drop it. I don't know, 400 bucks?

• 5:02Speaker 02

  The high, the highest end one was 400.

• 5:05H. Foley?

  What's yours?

• 5:06Speaker 02

  Why?

• 5:06H. Foley?

  87.

• 5:07Speaker 02

  179.99. Out the door. It's got a three-year warranty.

• 5:12H. Foley?

  Just a coat rack?

• 5:14Speaker 02

  It's got a scarf on it. Uh, yeah.

• 5:17H. Foley?

  How tall?

• 5:18Speaker 02

  Seven and a half feet.

• 5:22H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 5:22Speaker 02

  Ceiling's only six feet. Had to take some off the top.

• 5:25H. Foley?

  Seven and a half, that's an all-star right there. Kid me?

• 5:27Speaker 02

  Seven and a half. Comes with the lights already on it.

• 5:30H. Foley?

  Uh-huh.

• 5:31Speaker 02

  Three pieces, boom, boom, boom, pops all in. You gotta, you gotta tussle it up to fill out the things a little bit.

• 5:36H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 5:37Speaker 02

  It looks great. I ain't gotta do, there's no fuss, no muss. You said it, then forget it with these bad boys. But.

• 5:42H. Foley?

  Throw the box in the crawl space and you're all set.

• 5:44Speaker 02

  That's exactly what I did.

• 5:46H. Foley?

  You live in a crawl space?

• 5:46Speaker 02

  Uh-huh.

• 5:47H. Foley?

  Did we talk about this?

• 5:48Speaker 02

  It's scary.

• 5:49H. Foley?

  Oh, I don't like that.

• 5:50Speaker 02

  Um, yeah.

• 5:53H. Foley?

  My cousin was just talking, my cousin has a crawl space in her house. And they're thinking about maybe selling the house. And no one's been in that crawl space since the early 80's.

• 6:02Speaker 02

  I've had guys in there.

• 6:03H. Foley?

  Oh.

• 6:04Speaker 02

  I got one of one of my units.

• 6:05H. Foley?

  They're like, oh, we're gonna come over and we're gonna see what's in there. Like, no we're not.

• 6:07Speaker 02

  One of my AC units is in there.

• 6:09H. Foley?

  Fucking Ark of Covenant in that thing.

• 6:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't mess with it. Um, but. So I bought it, right, threw it in the, threw it in the cart and on my way out, I get like a...

• 6:18H. Foley?

  It's the living room you put this in?

• 6:20Speaker 02

  What?

• 6:20H. Foley?

  You put it in the living room?

• 6:21Speaker 02

  Is that a sentence? The living room you put this in?

• 6:24H. Foley?

  You put the tree in the living room?

• 6:25Speaker 02

  I put it in the fucking bathroom. Yeah, I put it in the living room.

• 6:27H. Foley?

  Could be in the foyer, whatever.

• 6:29Speaker 02

  We do not have a, we do not have a...

• 6:31H. Foley?

  Foyer? The foyer?

• 6:32Speaker 02

  Foyer.

• 6:33H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 6:33Speaker 02

  For...

• 6:33H. Foley?

  Foyer?

• 6:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, we don't have one.

• 6:35H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 6:35Speaker 02

  We open up and you're in it, baby.

• 6:38H. Foley?

  Open it up to the bathroom.

• 6:39Speaker 02

  You open the door, you're in the bix.

• 6:41H. Foley?

  Hey, I'm pooping in here, dang.

• 6:44Speaker 02

  That's what I don't love about the, how you open it up and you're, phew.

• 6:47H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 6:48Speaker 02

  There's no mudroom, there's shoes everywhere. The dog's barge, it stinks.

• 6:52H. Foley?

  Man, the kids that had a mudroom. I remember they had, they had to explain that to me before I got in the house.

• 6:57Speaker 02

  I remember the first time I went in, he goes, "The mudroom." I go, "The mudroom?"

• 7:00H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 7:00Speaker 02

  They built new houses.

• 7:01H. Foley?

  What are you guys up to in there?

• 7:03Speaker 02

  I'm a wet work, my kinda guy.

• 7:07H. Foley?

  Yeah, the mudroom.

• 7:08Speaker 02

  Um...

• 7:08H. Foley?

  The mudroom and the walk-in pantry.

• 7:11Speaker 02

  Woo! Yeah, those were, those were the newer houses built in my area, the Toll Brother houses. They all had the mudroom.

• 7:18H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:19Speaker 02

  And the...

• 7:19H. Foley?

  Came with that big box of Twizzlers. Set one in the pantry.

• 7:23Speaker 02

  Sure. Um...

• 7:24H. Foley?

  Little, little indies? Like those.

• 7:26Speaker 02

  So I bought, I bought, I, I, I throw the, I throw the box, big box, in a cart, right? I'm not gonna be...

• 7:33H. Foley?

  So wait, what did you, how much was it?

• 7:34Speaker 02

  $1.79.

• 7:35H. Foley?

  $1.79, okay.

• 7:36Speaker 02

  Yeah. Three-year warranty. It's got different kinda lights, it's got solid, warm white, it's got fast fading, warm white, fa- slow fading, warm white, and then multicolor, or you can...

• 7:47H. Foley?

  But you could pop it and get it really going?

• 7:49Speaker 02

  It's got a remote.

• 7:50H. Foley?

  When you're all smoked up?

• 7:51Speaker 02

  Sitting there all fucking wetted out.

• 7:53H. Foley?

  Having a seizure?

• 7:56Speaker 02

  Welcome to my opium den. Merry Christmas.

• 7:59H. Foley?

  That's what you want. At Christmas, you gotta put a wooden spoon in your mouth when you turn it on.

• 8:05Speaker 02

  Hey, hey, we partying the birds.

• 8:07H. Foley?

  You're not on a statin, are you, by any chance? This'll kill ya.

• 8:12H. Foley?

  Can't take heart medication, you look at that thing.

• 8:15Speaker 02

  So, but I bought a, they're not, it's not called a tree skirt, they're calling it something else. It's a little like, uh, more like cardboardy.

• 8:24H. Foley?

  I know what you're talking about.

• 8:24Speaker 02

  And like, it, it's like a tree skirt to me lays around, this doesn't, this like just covers the base and the stand.

• 8:30H. Foley?

  We used to use newspaper.

• 8:33Speaker 02

  Man, talk about, would you grow up in the depression?

• 8:36H. Foley?

  It's the rug from the bathroom that goes around the toilet.

• 8:40Speaker 02

  I smell, smells like piss. Um.

• 8:43Speaker 03

  Christmas tree collar.

• 8:44Speaker 02

  Collar, which I never seen before.

• 8:47H. Foley?

  Oh, look at you. Now, what do you, you've probably got two Christmas trees at your house, don't you? You got, you have a foyer, I would assume.

• 8:53Speaker 03

  We got a foyer.

• 8:54H. Foley?

  Yeah, you do.

• 8:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, we got a mudroom too.

• 8:56H. Foley?

  You do, huh? So you make the help sleep.

• 8:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's got a help quarters as well.

• 9:04Speaker 02

  Um, we, uh, I, so like I grabbed the collar too, right? Slipped that in the cart, like a crazy line, I kept bumping the guy in front of me with my box too, I was hanging out the front.

• 9:17H. Foley?

  You should get the trains up at your place.

• 9:19Speaker 02

  What trains?

• 9:20H. Foley?

  I don't know, get some Lionel's.

• 9:22Speaker 02

  Who am I, Bobby Bach? No way.

• 9:29Speaker 02

  Build a train, drive a Lionel up it. About to ramp up to your ass, drive a Lionel up it. Not doing the trains. Listen, I got a lot of travel this coming, uh, holiday season, I don't know if you know, I'm not, I don't have, I don't have time for trains, alright?

• 9:42H. Foley?

  I'll get that for you for Christmas.

• 9:43Speaker 02

  Do not buy me a train set, no, do not, Santa's buying, Santa's buying the gifts this year, don't buy me a train set. Um, I, do not buy me a train set.

• 9:53H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 9:54Speaker 02

  You're here to hear first, gang.

• 9:55H. Foley?

  It'd be cool if we had one in here that went around.

• 9:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, like we, we got enough going on.

• 10:00H. Foley?

  Put beers on it.

• 10:01Speaker 02

  Toot toot.

• 10:04Speaker 02

  Um. So, I pay, I get out, I take the box out, I realize I didn't pay for the collar, cuz I went through the self-checkout line.

• 10:13H. Foley?

  Kevin.

• 10:14Speaker 02

  Didn't pay, completely unintentional here, right?

• 10:19Speaker 02

  What's, I know what I did, but what's the move there?

• 10:23H. Foley?

  Go back in and you pay for it.

• 10:24Speaker 02

  That's crazy, dude.

• 10:26H. Foley?

  And you hit rock.

• 10:28Speaker 02

  No way, I mean, I would assume you wouldn't go back in.

• 10:31H. Foley?

  A hundred percent.

• 10:31Speaker 02

  You would go back in.

• 10:33H. Foley?

  Yeah, I'm a, listen, I'm a dirtbag.

• 10:35Speaker 02

  That's not dirtbag, that's, hey, you made me do your job, I got out there, I had all intentions of paying, it was like nine bucks or something, I don't know, I don't know how much it was, I didn't pay for it.

• 10:45H. Foley?

  I'm.

• 10:45Speaker 02

  But, it's like you got.

• 10:47H. Foley?

  Giving away collars in there.

• 10:49Speaker 02

  You got me for the 179 for the tree.

• 10:53Speaker 02

  Ah, that's in my.

• 10:54H. Foley?

  That just hurts the workers in there, they're probably gonna stiff them on the Christmas bonus, cuz you need your free fucking.

• 10:59Speaker 02

  I don't think the Home Depot people are getting Christmas bonuses.

• 11:01H. Foley?

  No?

• 11:02Speaker 02

  From Johnny Home Depot, no. If they would've got me or said, oh, sir, I would've been like, oh shit, my bag complete, but, I'm out, I'm in the back of the parking lot, dude, that place was jam-packed, I ain't fucking going all the way back in, I did return my cart to the corral, thank you very much. And our guy was in there, and I said, oh, here you go, buddy, I got one more for you, he did not like that.

• 11:25Speaker 02

  I even pushed it in it for him, I go.

• 11:26H. Foley?

  So, stole two drills.

• 11:28Speaker 02

  I said, I got you, bud, but yeah, I would be curious to see, uh.

• 11:33H. Foley?

  I would go back.

• 11:33Speaker 02

  The army of garbage out there, who would go back in, I would put it at less than 10%.

• 11:37H. Foley?

  I would go.

• 11:38Speaker 02

  That's just me personally.

• 11:39H. Foley?

  I would go back, but not for the right reasons, I would go back, um, to help my anxiety.

• 11:47Speaker 02

  Conscious.

• 11:47H. Foley?

  Yeah, for, for other things.

• 11:49Speaker 03

  You would think they're out to get you.

• 11:51H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 11:51Speaker 02

  I did think this was maybe like.

• 11:53H. Foley?

  So, when I'm standing at the gates of hell.

• 11:56Speaker 02

  Yeah. I return the Christmas, Christmas tree.

• 12:00H. Foley?

  Fellas, come on.

• 12:02Speaker 02

  I'm an honest man.

• 12:05H. Foley?

  I had a truck problem.

• 12:06Speaker 02

  We've all made, we've all made some mistakes.

• 12:08H. Foley?

  You put the screws to me for this.

• 12:10Speaker 02

  And Peter, you ain't perfect.

• 12:14H. Foley?

  Huh, Old Testament? Chapter 12, page 6.

• 12:18Speaker 02

  Never dabbled in the flesh trade.

• 12:23H. Foley?

  You were at that fucking bachelor party too. Let's not fucking bullshit each other.

• 12:26Speaker 02

  We split that bag.

• 12:30H. Foley?

  Tell me you were at that dinner.

• 12:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't, uh, it didn't, it crossed my mind for maybe a half a-

• 12:36H. Foley?

  How much was it worth?

• 12:37Speaker 02

  I couldn't tell you. So what's a Christmas, what's a Christmas, it's gotta be eleven dollars. What's a Christmas tree collar from Home Depot costing ya?

• 12:44Speaker 03

  Fifteen bucks, twenty bucks.

• 12:46H. Foley?

  Make a donation.

• 12:47Speaker 02

  That's not even grand larceny.

• 12:48H. Foley?

  Make a donation.

• 12:49Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 12:50H. Foley?

  To the Shriners or, uh-

• 12:51Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 12:52H. Foley?

  What's Danny Thomas's outfit?

• 12:54Speaker 02

  That's Dave Thomas and that's Wendy's.

• 12:56H. Foley?

  Danny Thomas and, uh, St. Jude's.

• 12:58Speaker 02

  Okay, yeah.

• 12:58H. Foley?

  I always donate to St. Jude's at DXL.

• 13:00Speaker 02

  Hey.

• 13:01H. Foley?

  Shout out to DXL for giving back. They ask you, you wanna do five, you wanna do ten. I throw, I throw five to the kids at St. Jude's. Shout out to them.

• 13:07Speaker 02

  I made a big donation, uh, to my local food bank right before, uh, Thanksgiving.

• 13:13H. Foley?

  Want a half eaten hoagie?

• 13:14Speaker 02

  Hey, I'm not gonna finish these Doritos.

• 13:17H. Foley?

  Hey, I'm done with this.

• 13:18Speaker 02

  No, I did make, I made a, I made a, I made a donation to feed the, the, the home- It's the given season, guys. You gotta give back a little bit.

• 13:26H. Foley?

  You just stole from Home Depot. What are you talking about?

• 13:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm Robin Hood. You steal from the-

• 13:30H. Foley?

  One step above the wet band.

• 13:31Speaker 02

  You steal from the rich and give to the poor.

• 13:34H. Foley?

  So I stole a bunch of cans of beans from ShopRite. What, you made a monetary donation or did you bring food?

• 13:40Speaker 02

  I made a monetary donation and then came on my-

• 13:43H. Foley?

  That's a write-off.

• 13:44Speaker 02

  My large platform and talked about it publicly.

• 13:47H. Foley?

  Put it anonymous.

• 13:48Speaker 02

  Nah.

• 13:49H. Foley?

  What'd you drop?

• 13:50Speaker 02

  Five hunch.

• 13:51H. Foley?

  What?

• 13:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:52H. Foley?

  Get the fuck, hook me up with that.

• 13:54Speaker 02

  You got five hunch.

• 13:55H. Foley?

  Starving artist over here.

• 13:56Speaker 02

  I don't know why you claim poor.

• 13:57H. Foley?

  Did you put-

• 13:58Speaker 02

  And everybody thinks it's true. It's insane.

• 14:00H. Foley?

  Did you put our names on it?

• 14:01Speaker 02

  No, it was for my personal account.

• 14:05Speaker 02

  I donated-

• 14:05H. Foley?

  Luke, get my checkbook.

• 14:06Speaker 02

  It was for turkeys.

• 14:08H. Foley?

  Get me Danny Thomas on it, bro.

• 14:09Speaker 02

  And Dave Thomas while you're at it. Get some of them burgers. I can't donate on an empty stomach.

• 14:18H. Foley?

  Fucking junior bacon class.

• 14:21Speaker 02

  Get my head on straight.

• 14:23H. Foley?

  It is baked potato season.

• 14:25Speaker 02

  I got bad penmanship.

• 14:27H. Foley?

  I've mentioned this to you before, but doesn't fast food.

• 14:34Speaker 02

  Do we have to do this? Do we have to? Sure. Yeah, it does. I remember. Yeah.

• 14:40H. Foley?

  What am I gonna ask you?

• 14:41Speaker 02

  Isn't it better in the holidays?

• 14:42H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 14:44Speaker 02

  Listen here, Chubbs McGillicuddy.

• 14:46H. Foley?

  You're wrapping presents.

• 14:47Speaker 02

  I just picture you leave here and go to my local food bank and get all the food I donated.

• 14:53H. Foley?

  That was a mistake.

• 14:55Speaker 02

  It's up. I'm Kippy's boy. I'm here for my half.

• 15:00Speaker 02

  We're business partners.

• 15:01H. Foley?

  Son, I'm gonna need you to put that ham down.

• 15:04Speaker 02

  I know you look hungry and you haven't eaten in a while, but I missed breakfast today.

• 15:10H. Foley?

  Do you know Dave Thomas?

• 15:13Speaker 02

  Ah, yeah. But it is the given season. Give back a little bit, even a little something. Five bucks, 10 bucks, donate your change, something. This is the given season. I'm trying to, I'm trying to do better.

• 15:25H. Foley?

  You just stole.

• 15:27Speaker 02

  From fucking Home Depot. Whose side are you on here?

• 15:30H. Foley?

  They're short 15 bucks.

• 15:32Speaker 02

  You're pushing my, no, they're, no, they're not. You're, you're pushing my fucking $500 donation to the side like that ain't nothing. That, that fed probably 15 kids or two folies. Ah, and then you're, you're, you're, you're hung up on me mistakenly stealing from Home Depot. They got it. How much Home Depot, what's Home Depot worth?

• 15:52H. Foley?

  Billions.

• 15:53Speaker 02

  Yeah. What are you doing here? Breaking my stones over this?

• 15:56H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 15:57Speaker 02

  It's frigging Home Depot.

• 15:58H. Foley?

  Tree looks nice?

• 15:59Speaker 02

  Tree looks real nice.

• 15:59H. Foley?

  What are the decorations you get? You get something on the outside? You're not doing that. You gotta call a man for that.

• 16:05Speaker 02

  I did. There's a service.

• 16:07H. Foley?

  Shut up.

• 16:07Speaker 02

  I swear to God.

• 16:09H. Foley?

  Bunch of poor kids in the neighborhood.

• 16:10Speaker 02

  Swear my 500 bucks. Hey, you kids want to split a za? Get over to my house and hang some money.

• 16:18Speaker 03

  Home Depot market cap is 421, 100 billion dollars.

• 16:22Speaker 02

  S my D.

• 16:23H. Foley?

  What does that mean, market cap?

• 16:24Speaker 03

  That's like how much money is like moving through Home Depot.

• 16:26H. Foley?

  How much? 420 billion?

• 16:28Speaker 03

  20 billion.

• 16:29H. Foley?

  With a B?

• 16:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:30Speaker 02

  That's all.

• 16:30H. Foley?

  Damn, that's doing pretty good.

• 16:32Speaker 02

  It's a lot of tree skirts.

• 16:33H. Foley?

  I like the guy that does their, uh, voiceovers for their commercials. He was...

• 16:37Speaker 02

  That's Gary Depot.

• 16:38H. Foley?

  Uh, no, it's the guy that was in, uh, Sweet Home Alabama. Cool looking guy, blonde hair. He was also in Beautiful Mind. The great John Nash. He's the guy that says that.

• 16:49Speaker 03

  Josh Lucas?

• 16:50H. Foley?

  Blonde headed guy?

• 16:51Speaker 03

  Uh, Scott McPherson?

• 16:54Speaker 02

  L. McPherson.

• 16:55H. Foley?

  The body. Looks the, the male lead in Sweet...

• 16:58Speaker 03

  Josh Lucas, yeah.

• 16:59H. Foley?

  Sweet Home Alabama.

• 16:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:00H. Foley?

  Yeah, he's a looker too.

• 17:01Speaker 03

  He is.

• 17:01H. Foley?

  Love that guy, great voice.

• 17:03Speaker 03

  He's a great actor.

• 17:04H. Foley?

  Yeah. Him and Brian Cox, does the Mickey D's commercials.

• 17:07Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 17:07H. Foley?

  Gets me.

• 17:09Speaker 02

  Uh huh. Think anybody can do him, you still get got. You're a bit of an easy target, they call in the biz.

• 17:15H. Foley?

  Could be Satan himself.

• 17:16Speaker 02

  You're John Q. American over here.

• 17:18H. Foley?

  Get your fat ass over there.

• 17:20Speaker 02

  Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Dark Prince.

• 17:25H. Foley?

  By the way, let me tell you about Kippy.

• 17:26Speaker 02

  Steal this kid's bad things.

• 17:30H. Foley?

  Kip, let's talk about DraftKings.

• 17:31Speaker 02

  DraftKings.

• 17:31H. Foley?

  Gang, as you know, football has a way of turning one game into a full week of conversation and DraftKings keeps you close to it all. DraftKings Sports App is now live in all 50 states. I'll say it again, DraftKings Sports App is now live in all 50 states. We're talking everywhere, baby. Follow the teams you love, keep up with the biggest games, and experience the excitement of football all week long.

• 17:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, one app, every sport, all 50 states. New DraftKings customers, sign up with code AYG, spend just five bucks and get 200 in rewards with the 21 days, includes all markets. That's code AYG in partnership with DraftKings, the crown is yours. Bet with DK Sportsbook. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER, 1-800-MYRESSET. Connecticut, call 888-789-7777. Visit ccpg.org on Half a Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet, tax, pass through may apply in Illinois. 21+, voiding Canada. Event contract trading. With DraftKings predictions involves a risk of loss. Availability varies. Predictions offer void in New York. Bet to get bonus bets that expire in seven days. Trade to get prediction dollars that expire in one year.

• 18:39Speaker 02

  $50 in rewards issued every seven days via click to claim for 21 days. One non-withdrawable reward redeemable. Terms at dkng.co/offer. Limited time offer. Nationwide based on sportsbook predictions and free to play sports contest availability. Varies by state. Now, back to the show.

• 18:56H. Foley?

  Back to the show.

• 18:58Speaker 00

  Your sausage McMuffin with egg didn't change. Your receipt did. The sausage McMuffin with egg extra value meal includes a hash brown and a small coffee for just $5. Only at McDonald's for a limited time.

• 19:10Speaker 04

  Price and participation may vary. Promotion pricing may be lower than meal pricing.

• 19:13H. Foley?

  Can't but talk about them Aura Frames.

• 19:15Speaker 02

  Oh, singing from the rooftop, Aura Frames.

• 19:17H. Foley?

  Man, talk about making the holiday shopping list easy. You got a couple of broads in your life?

• 19:22Speaker 02

  Knock them off the list real quick.

• 19:24H. Foley?

  Knock them off the list real quick. Gang, do yourself a favor. Get over to that Aura Frames and check it out. We're talking about digital photo frames.

• 19:33Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 19:34H. Foley?

  Home run of a gift. Aunt, mom, mother-in-law, girlfriend, wife.

• 19:39Speaker 02

  Side piece.

• 19:40H. Foley?

  Side piece.

• 19:43H. Foley?

  Let her know what she's missing.

• 19:44Speaker 02

  Listen, especially these older broads. I don't know why, but these older broads don't know technology. They think you're a goddamn, they think you're Bill Gates when you throw one of these on them.

• 19:54H. Foley?

  Not to mention, it's gonna save you from having your fucking great aunt stick a phone in your face and be like, "Look at what Jimmy's doing."

• 20:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:01H. Foley?

  "He's a junkie."

• 20:03Speaker 02

  Listen, if you're not familiar, we've talked about it a million times. It's a frame. You can send the pictures to it. They open it up. You can have a stock message on there. So when they open it up, "Oh, my God, it's the baby. It's the whatever." You go, "Here, just take this and shut it."

• 20:16H. Foley?

  Sends you time explaining it fucking Christmas. Like, "Yeah, nah, he's on the travel team. He does this. Here's the photo. Shut up. Get the eggnog."

• 20:25Speaker 02

  All jokes aside, it's a fantastic gift. I've bought them for every woman in my life that has them. They're fantastic. "Oh, look at the frames." There you go. Save on the perfect gift this, this season by visiting auraframes.com to get $35 off. Aura's best-selling Carver Matte Frames.

• 20:40H. Foley?

  Carver Matte?

• 20:41Speaker 02

  By using our promo code garbage at checkout. That's aura, A-U-R-A, frames.com, promo code garbage. The, this deal is exclusive to our listeners, so get yours now in time for the holidays. Terms and conditions apply.

• 20:52H. Foley?

  Go with it. Gang, this episode is brought to you by BetterHelp.

• 20:55Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 20:56H. Foley?

  Holiday season, lot going on.

• 20:58Speaker 02

  Could be gloomy. There are dark times we're coming up on.

• 21:00H. Foley?

  Could be gloomy. There could be a lot of anxiety. There could be some childhood trauma mixed in there. Whatever you gotta get off your chest, do yourself a favor. Get over to BetterHelp. They'll match you with a licensed therapist so you can start talking this out. As you know, I started my journey in the fucking talk therapy. Gotta be honest, one of the biggest skeptics of it, it's working.

• 21:24Speaker 02

  Yes, it is. I have to say, as a partner of yours, it is working very well.

• 21:28H. Foley?

  Thank you, dumbass. I appreciate that.

• 21:30Speaker 02

  You can tell, if you've never done it, you can, it's like, it's just like a little, it's like a pressure relief valve. You just get those things that are swirling in your head and your chest and your heart. Get them out to someone else and they go, "What are you, eh, it's okay. You'll be fine." You go, "Oh, thanks, doc."

• 21:44H. Foley?

  I've learned about the inner critic rumination.

• 21:46Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 21:46H. Foley?

  Thinking the worst possible scenarios. Emotional eating.

• 21:50Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 21:51H. Foley?

  Which I believe is a myth.

• 21:52Speaker 02

  If you're starting, if you're thinking about starting talk therapy, I am a big proponent of BetterHelp. It's easy to get in the water. It can seem daunting. Calling people, doing this, setting up an appointment. "Oh, we're out. I'm taking patients right now." This, that, all of this, just get in.

• 22:05H. Foley?

  Rip the Band-Aid off, dog.

• 22:06Speaker 02

  Just get in. It's an ease. It's a low barrier to entry. You get in and you can start. You can start feeling better. You can always change your therapist, your licensed therapist, if you want, at any time for no additional charge. So find comfort this December and this holiday season with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/garbage today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P, dot com slash garbage. Do it.

• 22:27H. Foley?

  All right.

• 22:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:28H. Foley?

  Good shit.

• 22:29Speaker 02

  So, no, I got a company to do it. A guy. It's a guy who owns a power wash company. He started putting up those signs. My brother-in-law did it.

• 22:36H. Foley?

  You're gonna be one of those videos.

• 22:38Speaker 02

  What?

• 22:39H. Foley?

  Household shit fucked up. They come and hook it up for free.

• 22:43Speaker 02

  They're cutting my grass and shit.

• 22:45H. Foley?

  So the guy that lived there was a real pussy, so I decided to do it for free.

• 22:48Speaker 02

  Listen, I don't, what do you want, my fat ass up there on the roof?

• 22:52H. Foley?

  Do you own a ladder?

• 22:53Speaker 02

  Yeah. It's a step stool, but sure. I own an eight footer.

• 22:57H. Foley?

  That's where your wife puts your honey nut cheerios.

• 23:00Speaker 02

  No, I own a, I own a six footer.

• 23:02H. Foley?

  You do?

• 23:03Speaker 02

  Yeah. It's a Warner.

• 23:04H. Foley?

  Yeah, Warner's good.

• 23:05Speaker 02

  Warner makes a.

• 23:06H. Foley?

  Did you steal that?

• 23:08Speaker 02

  No, I did not steal that. Uh, but yeah, this guy comes, super, very affordable.

• 23:14H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 23:15Speaker 02

  He buys them for you, tailors them perfectly to your house.

• 23:18H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 23:19Speaker 02

  Does it, knocks, my brother-in-law said it took like two hours.

• 23:22H. Foley?

  He still haven't done this yet.

• 23:23Speaker 02

  No, he's doing it this week.

• 23:24H. Foley?

  Gotta wait till after the holidays, get the discount.

• 23:26Speaker 02

  He's doing it this week. Then you own them, he stores them, and then comes back next year.

• 23:29H. Foley?

  Get the fuck outta here.

• 23:30Speaker 02

  And the price is lower. How you doin'? This is what we're doin', I mean, listen, I have no business being on a roof anymore. My young days, I'd be on a roof. Not no more. My fat ass up there.

• 23:40H. Foley?

  Catching a frisbee.

• 23:41Speaker 02

  Plumbers crack hanging out, roofers crack hanging out, catching heaters.

• 23:45H. Foley?

  Plus, it's cold when your finger hits that metal.

• 23:47Speaker 02

  Ouch. I don't know what I'm, then I'm yelling at my wife, it don't look good. Eh, let other people do that shit. I'm a goddamn comedy and podcast man.

• 23:54Speaker 03

  My dad just got banned from the roof.

• 23:56Speaker 02

  He's too old.

• 23:57Speaker 03

  Too old, yeah. My mom put her foot down.

• 24:00Speaker 02

  See, how many people get hurt putting up Christmas lights a year? It's gotta be enough, trillions, probably.

• 24:05H. Foley?

  Or Home Depot's making. Your dad still does it?

• 24:10Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 24:10H. Foley?

  Man.

• 24:11Speaker 02

  He's a man's man. I'm up.

• 24:14H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 24:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, what, uh, my wife wants it, my wife, my wife was like, "Oh, it'd be nice." I go, "It would be nice." I'm not the guy to do it. You know what I mean?

• 24:23H. Foley?

  Would she be involved if you were doing that?

• 24:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, it don't look good, it's backward, and then I'd be the guy that like ran it, and like, the plug was on the wrong side, so I got an extension cord going a whole way. This guy does it, knocks out in fucking two, three hours.

• 24:35H. Foley?

  I put the tree up, we got a little baby one. That was a fucking fight.

• 24:39Speaker 02

  Even a baby tree?

• 24:40H. Foley?

  I think it's five feet.

• 24:42Speaker 02

  I ain't know, seven and a half, dog. Real or fake?

• 24:45H. Foley?

  Real. I always go real, I like the smell.

• 24:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:48H. Foley?

  Plus, you get a squirrel or two in there. Buddy.

• 24:52Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm. Hey, little buddy. Okay, alright. We got a gosh darn family episode on our hands, gang. As you know, when you, uh, join the old Patreon over there, the aforementioned Patreon, uh, you get the chance to ask your garbage question, and we will read it on the air.

• 25:07H. Foley?

  Yes, sir.

• 25:07Speaker 02

  Uh, alright, let's see, this one's from Astoria Foam Cutters Local 403.

• 25:12H. Foley?

  Love it.

• 25:12Speaker 02

  "You ever stir a cocktail with the business end of a grill lighter?" Oof.

• 25:17H. Foley?

  Wow, that's rough.

• 25:17Speaker 02

  I would just use my finger, I think, before that.

• 25:20H. Foley?

  I feel like a butter knife is the lowest you can go.

• 25:23Speaker 02

  No, I think a butter knife's be- I'm on, I'm on record as saying a butter knife is better.

• 25:27H. Foley?

  Than a finger?

• 25:28Speaker 02

  Than, yeah.

• 25:29H. Foley?

  Yeah, finger for sure.

• 25:30Speaker 02

  I think it's better than a spoon, I would argue. You get a, you get a better, better, better whirlpool going and it doesn't clink and it doesn't splash as much. You get a tighter whirlpool, little, little vortex.

• 25:40H. Foley?

  We somehow, I don't know how we got it into the house, but we have one of those long twirly-

• 25:44Speaker 02

  Twizzler sticks?

• 25:45H. Foley?

  Twizzler spoons?

• 25:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:47H. Foley?

  And man-

• 25:47Speaker 02

  You stole it from a bar. What do you mean? You were at Outback Steakhouse one time.

• 25:50H. Foley?

  If the dishwasher is, if every, if there's, if I'm-

• 25:55Speaker 02

  You're eating cereal with it?

• 25:58H. Foley?

  And man, she's like, what are you talking about?

• 26:02H. Foley?

  She's freaking out. I use this for my cottage cheese. I have my cottage cheese with a little bit of honey.

• 26:07Speaker 03

  It's a lot grosser. Like the long spoons.

• 26:11Speaker 02

  Still sugar on it from when you were making old fashions?

• 26:13H. Foley?

  He's just in a hairbrush.

• 26:14Speaker 02

  You know what I had on the plane the other day? I haven't had in a long time.

• 26:18H. Foley?

  Hold on.

• 26:22H. Foley?

  I got nothing.

• 26:22Speaker 02

  Screwdriver.

• 26:24H. Foley?

  I know, you told me that.

• 26:25Speaker 02

  I did, I did, yeah.

• 26:27H. Foley?

  You fucking dirtbag.

• 26:28Speaker 02

  I said I-

• 26:29H. Foley?

  You're drinking screwdrivers, man.

• 26:33Speaker 02

  It was before 10 a.m. It was about nine o'clock it was happened.

• 26:37H. Foley?

  I'm gonna need to duct, duct tape me to the chair in about 12 minutes.

• 26:42Speaker 02

  I get a little lippy when I get vodka in me.

• 26:44H. Foley?

  A screwdriver?

• 26:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, man, it took me right back to-

• 26:47H. Foley?

  I didn't fresh squeeze OJ either.

• 26:49Speaker 02

  No, it took me right back to, uh-

• 26:51H. Foley?

  Heartburn City.

• 26:52Speaker 02

  To, uh, probably sophomore, junior year and my buddy-

• 26:57H. Foley?

  High school or college?

• 26:58Speaker 02

  High school. In my buddy Justin's garage, you had a couch in there. It was heater central. Catching heaters and then we had just discovered Billy Joel. Let me tell you, that was a summer, my friend. Bottle, a bottle of Fleischmann's and a half gallon of Wawa OJ.

• 27:14H. Foley?

  Couple of Phillips heads? Get your head on straight.

• 27:17Speaker 02

  Take me, take me to the-

• 27:19H. Foley?

  Talk about Lefty Lucy, Righty Tidy.

• 27:21Speaker 02

  Talk about Home Depot, dog. I'll be in the screwdriver section if you need me. Hand tool, the hand tool hero.

• 27:28H. Foley?

  Couple of flatheads for me and the boys.

• 27:30Speaker 02

  Uh.

• 27:33H. Foley?

  Do an Allen wrench, put a little, put a little gin in there.

• 27:37Speaker 02

  A splash of grand.

• 27:38H. Foley?

  How many of those you put down?

• 27:39Speaker 02

  I think two.

• 27:40H. Foley?

  Alright.

• 27:41Speaker 02

  Not too bad.

• 27:42H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 27:42Speaker 02

  I was just driving.

• 27:43H. Foley?

  Yeah. Was that an off-paced, uh, an off-paced lunch?

• 27:49Speaker 02

  What's that mean?

• 27:50H. Foley?

  It means I was-

• 27:50Speaker 02

  That means you were drunk.

• 27:51H. Foley?

  I was drinking way faster than everybody else. And I thought we were going into this as a team. And we weren't. We were also off-kilter on the appetizers, too. We're doing wings? Because I was like, I'm getting breakfast. Breakfast?

• 28:06Speaker 02

  Alright, wings.

• 28:07H. Foley?

  Screw with me.

• 28:08Speaker 02

  Breakfast wings.

• 28:09H. Foley?

  Brutal.

• 28:09Speaker 02

  Uh, alright, let's-

• 28:11H. Foley?

  Yeah, grill lighters, fucking, man. That's, that's not working either.

• 28:18Speaker 02

  Now-

• 28:18H. Foley?

  You want a heater. What do you want a heater right after you make you stir your drink?

• 28:22Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 28:22H. Foley?

  You gotta wait till it dries out.

• 28:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:26H. Foley?

  Right?

• 28:26Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 28:27H. Foley?

  Although-

• 28:28Speaker 02

  You're not wrong.

• 28:30H. Foley?

  Maybe it's all the way up at the top, so it doesn't-

• 28:32Speaker 03

  You should be good.

• 28:33Speaker 02

  I don't know. That freak-

• 28:34Speaker 03

  But-

• 28:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't, I don't know how it works. I'm not a physicist.

• 28:36H. Foley?

  You've never used a grill lighter? What are you talking about?

• 28:39Speaker 03

  Only Zippo's.

• 28:42Speaker 02

  Uh, this is in the same vein. I didn't even, I didn't even put two and two together. This was from Travis. Five dollar bozo, is it garbs you use Sunny D for mimosas and screwdrivers around the holidays?

• 28:52H. Foley?

  Holy shit, dude.

• 28:54Speaker 02

  Uh-

• 28:55H. Foley?

  Woo!

• 28:56Speaker 02

  I feel like that would, I feel like that would be like oil and water would never truly mix. You know what I mean? Like there's-

• 29:02H. Foley?

  Turn into that magic sand.

• 29:03Speaker 02

  They're way, they're, they're two different densities.

• 29:06H. Foley?

  I don't know.

• 29:07Speaker 02

  I feel like that wouldn't come together as one.

• 29:09H. Foley?

  Man, I don't know.

• 29:11Speaker 02

  That might be really good, though. Sunny D's got a bite to it.

• 29:14H. Foley?

  Ooh.

• 29:14Speaker 03

  It's great.

• 29:15H. Foley?

  It's like aftertaste.

• 29:16Speaker 03

  Mixed in with vodka's awesome.

• 29:18Speaker 02

  Ah, yeah.

• 29:18H. Foley?

  Yeah, that is awesome.

• 29:19Speaker 02

  I'm with that. It's like, dude, you're, you're trash. You lean into it. It is what it is.

• 29:23H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's alright, man.

• 29:25Speaker 02

  It's also like, we all, we, my family does mimosas-

• 29:28H. Foley?

  That's thicker, though.

• 29:30Speaker 02

  Ah, yeah, I like it.

• 29:31H. Foley?

  That's thick.

• 29:31Speaker 02

  Maybe a little bit of ice in there, too?

• 29:33H. Foley?

  Woo!

• 29:34Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 29:34Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, Sunny D actually made a vodka seltzer, too.

• 29:37H. Foley?

  Oh yeah, that's-

• 29:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, I forgot.

• 29:38Speaker 02

  That's right, they did. Recently, like last year.

• 29:40H. Foley?

  Talk about a pivot.

• 29:43Speaker 02

  What else do dirtbags like? Oh yeah, hooch.

• 29:48Speaker 02

  Um, cause we only do, we do mimosas one day a year. For some reason, it's Easter. Cause we go to Sunday Mass down at shore. And then we all come back and we always have mimosas Easter Sunday.

• 30:01H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 30:02Speaker 02

  And so like, we're not having them as like, we-

• 30:05H. Foley?

  Fresh squeeze OJ or regular OJ?

• 30:08Speaker 02

  Oh, regular.

• 30:09H. Foley?

  If you're doing them, you get the fresh squeeze.

• 30:10Speaker 02

  That's what I'm saying, but like, if you're only doing-

• 30:13H. Foley?

  Just chugging that.

• 30:13Speaker 02

  If you're only doing them around the holidays, cause it's fancy, you're really just a booze bag looking to start drinking earlier. And that's the excuse of, "I'm having a mimosa." So if it's Sunny D, if it's Stropicana, if it's from Kanso, who cares? You're not, it's not like you're on the fucking Queen Mary or whatever.

• 30:27H. Foley?

  Which will fuck you up.

• 30:28Speaker 02

  What?

• 30:29H. Foley?

  If you haven't gotten that pork roll, egg and cheese in ya. And you have the mimosa first.

• 30:33Speaker 02

  I've never had one of those.

• 30:34H. Foley?

  Ooh, what?

• 30:35Speaker 02

  Pork roll, egg and cheese.

• 30:37H. Foley?

  Had one this morning, stole it, Home Depot.

• 30:41Speaker 02

  It was in the cart, "What do you want from me?" Uh, alright, let's see here. Uh, this was from Monkey Man Slim, great name. $10 hoagie, never had one red. "Have you ever pumped up a car tire with a bike pump?" Jeez, dude.

• 30:57H. Foley?

  I saw a dude on the side of the road the other day, they have like those, like, small ones now, they look like handguns.

• 31:03Speaker 02

  They look like what you would, they look like a, like a gauge, kind of.

• 31:06H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 31:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:07H. Foley?

  And this guy was in traffic and this guy was on the side of the road, just trying to get home.

• 31:12Speaker 02

  I always, it always made me feel, I feel like a mechanic when I'm filling up my tires.

• 31:17H. Foley?

  I always-

• 31:18Speaker 02

  With that gun, I feel like I know what I'm looking for, I press, "Alright, yeah." And then when you gotta get around the car, the whip of that cable, "Woo, watch out, gippies here."

• 31:26H. Foley?

  That's like something from an aircraft carrier, that thing's heavy.

• 31:29Speaker 02

  I'm doing this, go, go!

• 31:30H. Foley?

  Always scared that thing's gonna blow up.

• 31:32Speaker 02

  I'm never scared.

• 31:35H. Foley?

  Just waiting for it to blow up. You ever blow up a tire like that?

• 31:38Speaker 02

  Pop one like that?

• 31:39H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 31:40Speaker 02

  No.

• 31:40H. Foley?

  Think it'd kill ya.

• 31:42Speaker 02

  I always err on the side of, let's keep it a little light.

• 31:45H. Foley?

  I keep my, um, you know, the cars have like the, the digital readout, like it'll be like, you know, like the oil, the this. I keep mine on my tires.

• 31:53Speaker 02

  You're, you put a lot of stress on the tires, specifically the front left one. Just saying, a lot of, I spend a lot of time in a car, a lot of road trips.

• 32:02H. Foley?

  But that's what I monitor. I keep that on all the time.

• 32:05Speaker 02

  There's a, there's, dude, that old.

• 32:06H. Foley?

  My screen's not working right now. I have a, some kind of electrical thing in the car. The screen's not coming on. It's like in Michael Clayton, remember when they put the bomb in there? And like, it was like Fritz and, there's something going on. It only comes on every other time I start the car. I don't know what the hell I'm listening to. It's got the heat, it's got the fucking radio. Sitting there listening to Coffee House on XM.

• 32:28Speaker 02

  Like a dickhead.

• 32:30H. Foley?

  Can't change nothing.

• 32:31Speaker 02

  XM, who are you, my mom?

• 32:38H. Foley?

  I remember my dad one year for Christmas bought me the portable one.

• 32:42Speaker 02

  Dude, the thing that.

• 32:43H. Foley?

  And you could take it and bring it somewhere else?

• 32:46Speaker 02

  That thing never got off the ground.

• 32:48H. Foley?

  Sweet in the room, though.

• 32:50Speaker 02

  Um, all right, let's see, um. Uh, this one's from KP. This shocked me. Are you garbage if you grew up thinking heat lightning was a thing? I just found that this out this year that it's actually just distant storms. Did you know heat lightning?

• 33:07H. Foley?

  Heat lightning was big.

• 33:08Speaker 02

  In the summer.

• 33:09H. Foley?

  Just heat, just a little heat lightning. It's not a thing.

• 33:12Speaker 02

  No, see if you can, he's, apparently this guy's research.

• 33:15H. Foley?

  No, I thought it was atmospheric.

• 33:17Speaker 02

  I think it's, he's saying it's just further away and you don't, you see it because the sky's clear at night in the summer a lot of times.

• 33:24H. Foley?

  Really?

• 33:25Speaker 02

  I don't know. I mean, we used to be in the pool and be like, nah, that's just heat lightning.

• 33:30H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 33:30Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? That's just a little heat lightning.

• 33:32H. Foley?

  A little of the game here.

• 33:33Speaker 02

  Rub a little dirt on it.

• 33:35H. Foley?

  Heat lightning's not a thing?

• 33:36Speaker 03

  Simply cloud to ground lightning that occurs very far away.

• 33:40H. Foley?

  Okay, so yeah, so it is, it is a real thing. What about thunder snow?

• 33:42Speaker 02

  No, but it's, that's just real lightning. Cloud to ground lightning is just real lightning, no?

• 33:47Speaker 03

  Wait, what are you saying?

• 33:49Speaker 02

  Is heat lightning a real thing?

• 33:50H. Foley?

  When it's hot.

• 33:51Speaker 02

  What is the difference between heat lightning and regular lightning? Do that.

• 33:54H. Foley?

  And thunder snow?

• 33:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, so it's just normal.

• 33:56Speaker 02

  Lightning just further away.

• 33:58Speaker 03

  That occurs very far away with thunder that dissipates before it reaches the observer. Yes.

• 34:02H. Foley?

  What about thunder snow?

• 34:04Speaker 02

  That's how your new band you're working on?

• 34:06Speaker 03

  There's also dry thunderstorms, which I guess are a thing.

• 34:10H. Foley?

  Yeah, well, you just hear it and there's no rain.

• 34:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:12H. Foley?

  That's what it... Get out! Everybody get out! It'll get ya.

• 34:18Speaker 02

  Everybody into the showers.

• 34:20H. Foley?

  How do you like, you freak?

• 34:22Speaker 02

  Uh, alright, let's see. This one's from Pierce Hughes. $10 Canadian shareholder, shout out to you up there. Uh, is it garbage if you or someone you know thinks they understand light frequencies at the intersection? For example, my boy said if you stop five or six feet before the line, you have a better chance of getting the advanced light.

• 34:40H. Foley?

  That's a real thing.

• 34:42Speaker 02

  Well, they're in the ground. There's sensors in the... Sensors are in the ground.

• 34:45H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's a real thing.

• 34:46Speaker 02

  I remember my stepdad would pull up and if it what, like, he would reverse back to like, trigger the sensor again.

• 34:52H. Foley?

  Yeah, to trip it. I ran a red light this weekend because of that. Because it was on a main highway and I was coming out of a shopping center. And it was like, 10 minutes. I'll give you 10 minutes.

• 35:00Speaker 02

  Oh, you sit there and just blew a... Hard blew a red light?

• 35:03H. Foley?

  Yeah, man, there was nobody coming. I was sitting there like an asshole.

• 35:05Speaker 02

  And you're breaking my...

• 35:06H. Foley?

  And there was people behind me.

• 35:07Speaker 02

  You're breaking my stones for forgetting about a tree skirt?

• 35:09H. Foley?

  That's a victimless crime!

• 35:10Speaker 02

  Oh, you could've killed somebody!

• 35:12H. Foley?

  But I didn't.

• 35:13Speaker 02

  But you could've. You're a bad driver to begin with. Probably in the wrong lane.

• 35:17H. Foley?

  I had to drive somebody home and I... I told them that.

• 35:19Speaker 02

  What?

• 35:20H. Foley?

  I just seen I'm a real bad driver.

• 35:22Speaker 02

  You're getting out in front of it now.

• 35:23H. Foley?

  Getting out in front of it. Because I'm on the brakes.

• 35:26Speaker 02

  Oh, dude, man. It's like a panic attack.

• 35:29H. Foley?

  I'm out there breaking ankles. Fucking pump fake.

• 35:31Speaker 02

  It's crazy. I gotta do CTE protocol after I get out of there. You whipping that thing back, I got whiplash. That's, uh... Yeah, you ain't great.

• 35:39H. Foley?

  And they're in the backseat too.

• 35:40Speaker 02

  You ain't great behind the wheel.

• 35:41H. Foley?

  They're in the backseat too, that's why they really feel it.

• 35:43Speaker 02

  Aw, I can't...

• 35:44H. Foley?

  It's like being below decks.

• 35:45Speaker 02

  I can feel the eye rolls. Do you ever have that sometimes you're in an Uber and you're like, "Are you in a different car than me, buddy? How do you not feel that you're driving like a fucking maniac?"

• 35:53H. Foley?

  I know.

• 35:54Speaker 02

  It's fucking crazy.

• 35:55H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 35:56Speaker 02

  Um, alright, let's see. This one's from Tampa. Tampa, this is from a History Hyenas, uh, Patreon. Tampa Tony off the baloney.

• 36:04H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 36:04Speaker 02

  Uh...

• 36:05H. Foley?

  Shout out to History Hyenas.

• 36:06Speaker 02

  Shout out to the fucking boys.

• 36:08H. Foley?

  Boys are back.

• 36:08Speaker 02

  Love them. $10 a month Ozempic provider. You ever get an eye exam and glasses from a Costco eye doctor? My in-laws just went and raved about how they got a two-for-one deal. That stuff's fine to me, right?

• 36:22H. Foley?

  Patty would go.

• 36:23Speaker 02

  It's like a LensCrafters or something in there.

• 36:25H. Foley?

  Yeah, Patty would go, we would go to like America's Best or something like, we'd go to the eye doctor. Get my eye exam. And she's like, just get the prescription.

• 36:36Speaker 02

  You go somewhere else to fill it.

• 36:37H. Foley?

  She'd go to Costco and get it. Go to Costco and get it cheaper. She'd get like an 18 month supply.

• 36:43Speaker 02

  They're moving units out there.

• 36:44H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 36:45Speaker 02

  That's supply and demand, or whatever. Economies of scale.

• 36:48H. Foley?

  Getting the eye exam there though?

• 36:51Speaker 02

  They're doctors. It's not like the guy's like a cashier and then like they bump them over. You don't upgrade the optometry.

• 36:56H. Foley?

  You're going to the doctors at a Costco?

• 36:58Speaker 03

  They probably have a very stringent rules to become a Costco doctor.

• 37:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's also like, dude, you gotta think.

• 37:05Speaker 03

  Got shareholders.

• 37:06H. Foley?

  Not for you though.

• 37:07Speaker 02

  They're, they're, otherwise they're in the mall.

• 37:10H. Foley?

  You're not going.

• 37:10Speaker 03

  Going to Cohen's Optics.

• 37:12Speaker 02

  Oh, that's fancy, that's fancy.

• 37:14H. Foley?

  That's expensive shit.

• 37:17H. Foley?

  Wait, Cohen's, that's where I go at, I'm Steinbeck.

• 37:18Speaker 03

  Sure, yeah, it's New York.

• 37:20H. Foley?

  They fucking rake, rake you over the coals in there.

• 37:23Speaker 02

  What's a set of glasses cost? I don't know, I never, I've never even been to an eye doctor.

• 37:27H. Foley?

  Eye doc, eye exam, when you, you need it for the year. Eye exam and I, I do the three months.

• 37:33Speaker 02

  Pull up what it costs you at Costco.

• 37:35H. Foley?

  It's probably about 600 bucks.

• 37:37Speaker 02

  At Costco?

• 37:37H. Foley?

  No, it's 600 bucks.

• 37:39Speaker 02

  You got insurance for that?

• 37:40H. Foley?

  I don't use the, I don't know how to use insurance.

• 37:44H. Foley?

  That is a dentist, or therapy, I don't know how to use the insurance for that.

• 37:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm not that.

• 37:48H. Foley?

  They say if you reach out, they'll reimburse you, whatever.

• 37:50Speaker 02

  That and warranties and like.

• 37:53Speaker 03

  About 430.

• 37:54Speaker 02

  430?

• 37:54H. Foley?

  At Costco?

• 37:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:55H. Foley?

  Is that what a supply of contacts?

• 37:57Speaker 03

  Uh.

• 37:57H. Foley?

  That's for the fucking eye exam?

• 38:00Speaker 03

  Which is, I think that's without insurance, honestly even.

• 38:02H. Foley?

  That's expensive.

• 38:04Speaker 03

  I feel like that's cheap.

• 38:05H. Foley?

  No, mine's cheap.

• 38:06Speaker 02

  Don't forget about the year supply of pickles it comes with.

• 38:09H. Foley?

  No, mine's cheaper than that. My eye exam, I think is 300.

• 38:15H. Foley?

  Or you get that America's Best. You get, my mommies put me in the club at America's Best. You pay, you get three years. Contacts and eye exam.

• 38:23Speaker 02

  Oh no, it's between fifty and a hundred dollars. Without insurance.

• 38:26H. Foley?

  That's the eye exam?

• 38:27Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah, go to Costco. What are you doing?

• 38:31Speaker 02

  Why? It's the same thing. I mean, I get, I get it. Yeah, what are you gonna make a day out of it? Go get a couple of them.

• 38:39Speaker 00

  Your sausage McMuffin with egg didn't change, your receipt did. The sausage McMuffin with egg extra value meal includes a hash brown and a small coffee for just five dollars. Only at McDonald's for a limited time.

• 38:51Speaker 04

  Price and participation may vary. Promotion pricing may be lower than meal pricing.

• 38:54Speaker 05

  Sam's Club is the club for every holiday club. Guess who's joining the club this season? Walmart Plus. Yep, Sam's Club Plus membership now comes with Walmart Plus at no extra cost. Two memberships, one great price. Just a hundred and twenty bucks a year can save you time and over seven hundred dollars. Want to get in on the membership duo of the century? Visit sam'sclub.com. Come join us. Sam's Club.

• 39:15Speaker 06

  Annual plan only, auto renews, T and C apply. Estimate based on average combined Walmart Plus and Sam's Club Plus savings among members of both for one plus year versus non-member or club member pricing slash fees. Excludes membership fees. See Walmart Plus terms and Sam's Club terms for more info.

• 39:24Speaker 02

  These little boys got the dog in them.

• 39:28Speaker 02

  Uh, yeah, I mean, that's, to me, that is, that's like the same thing as a dentist. Like, there's, as long as you can do the job, it doesn't matter where, like, as long as you're proficient at it and you got some pretty good reviews.

• 39:38H. Foley?

  Dentist, I disagree. I guess, as disgusting as I am, I get creeped out at the dentist real quick. It's gotta be, it's gotta be top of the line. Clay, I can't smell weird in there either.

• 39:49Speaker 02

  I'm not saying, yeah, okay, it shouldn't be in a, yeah, I'm just saying, but like, any dentist, if you go, oh, I have a cavity or I need, I need a tooth pulled, they're gonna, it's, you get the same service everywhere. It's like a mechanic. Yeah, sure, there's some better than others, you know what I mean? But at the same time, it's not heart surgery.

• 40:06H. Foley?

  Didn't Ari go to a dentist?

• 40:07Speaker 02

  These guys aren't even real doctors. What are we talking about here?

• 40:10H. Foley?

  Didn't Ari go to a dentist in like Nicaragua or something like that?

• 40:13Speaker 02

  Yeah. They got universal healthcare, so he didn't have to pay anything, I think.

• 40:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like super cheap down there. Because it's like a, it's ju- it's a, it's like a binary thing. And obviously, people are gonna be like, "Well..."

• 40:25H. Foley?

  They don't clean those tools the way they clean them at fucking Cohen's.

• 40:28Speaker 03

  I think they're, surgical tools are usually just pulled from actual... Like, they're new, newly used every time.

• 40:36Speaker 02

  Oh, that makes sense. Also, what, what, what, what surgical tools? You're saying that at the...

• 40:42H. Foley?

  The dentist.

• 40:43Speaker 02

  That stuff's fine.

• 40:44H. Foley?

  The Mr. Sucky and the little poker.

• 40:45Speaker 02

  That's all.

• 40:46H. Foley?

  Scrape my tartar out. You know what it's called? Tartar?

• 40:49Speaker 02

  I mean, eating tartar sauce again, boy?

• 40:51H. Foley?

  It is tartar.

• 40:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:52H. Foley?

  Scrape tartar off your teeth.

• 40:54Speaker 02

  Alright, okay, we, I mean...

• 40:55H. Foley?

  You ever see those real bad ones on people? Yikes. Did you just notice that?

• 41:02Speaker 02

  That's bad.

• 41:02H. Foley?

  How do you not notice that?

• 41:04Speaker 02

  That's tough. That's tough McGee, dude.

• 41:07H. Foley?

  And they're scraping.

• 41:09Speaker 02

  I can feel it on my, it's making my blood run cold. I hate it. I hate it.

• 41:15H. Foley?

  Have you been flossing?

• 41:17Speaker 02

  Shut up.

• 41:18H. Foley?

  Give me this Sheath underwear.

• 41:19Speaker 02

  Shout out to the OG Sheath.

• 41:21H. Foley?

  And before you say anything, I know you got 'em on, alright? I know you like your sexy underwear, Sheath. Damn, it don't matter whether you got a big hog or a little hog, like some people at the table. It's both of us. Sheath is the best pair of underwear you're ever gonna put on. Keep your first name as sexy underwear.

• 41:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:38H. Foley?

  Alright? I've never...

• 41:40Speaker 02

  They're fantastic.

• 41:41H. Foley?

  Look at them.

• 41:41Speaker 02

  They got...

• 41:44H. Foley?

  He always wears the old stuff when he's with me.

• 41:46Speaker 02

  They got two pouches, one for the cray and one for the berries, you know what I mean?

• 41:50H. Foley?

  Man.

• 41:50Speaker 02

  Holiday season.

• 41:51H. Foley?

  That ain't ocean spray.

• 41:52Speaker 02

  Talk about dark meat down there. Uh, you can put your, your balls in one pouch, your weener in the other. You can mix and match one and both, leave 'em at home, I don't care what you do.

• 42:01H. Foley?

  And sure, it looks good, you got a little bulge in there, but it also has a function.

• 42:05Speaker 02

  It don't sweat, it's se- it's separation. It keeps you separated, it's like, it's like climate control, it's like being in an Uber Black back there.

• 42:12H. Foley?

  Like a turkey wishbone.

• 42:14Speaker 02

  Uh, yeah, so elevate your comfort today. Go to sheath.com, get the most comfortable underwear you're ever gonna wear. That is a kippy promise right there. If you use the promo code GARBAGE, you'll get 20% off your order, baby. 20%.

• 42:25H. Foley?

  That's a lot of pubes.

• 42:26Speaker 02

  That's sheath.com promo code GARBAGE. For 20% off your order. Sheath, the underwear of legends and dirtbags.

• 42:34H. Foley?

  Kent, we gotta tell him about Mando.

• 42:36Speaker 02

  Ooh, the Mando!

• 42:37H. Foley?

  Listen, you stink.

• 42:39Speaker 02

  Everybody smells.

• 42:40H. Foley?

  Smells, and it ain't just the pits, man. You gotta get it. How did we just think of this? How is Mando just a thing now? We should have been doing this since the caveman days. Thank God Mando was smart enough. All over body deodorant.

• 42:55Speaker 02

  The taint is one of the smelliest things on earth, and Mando's got you...

• 42:59H. Foley?

  Strange.

• 43:00Speaker 02

  Got you covered.

• 43:00H. Foley?

  Has an allure to it, almost. Stay away from it.

• 43:03Speaker 02

  It's something that as I've gotten older, I'm not even... It's not even like after the... It's just day to day. It gets a little sweaty, musty down there.

• 43:11H. Foley?

  I'll run you down real quick on my Mando process. I hit the pits, I hit the underbelly. Okay, dry that off real good. Then I go side pocket on each part of the testes. And then I go the runway, as I call it.

• 43:27Speaker 02

  Sure, all products are...

• 43:28H. Foley?

  The riverbed.

• 43:29Speaker 02

  All products are baking soda free and parab... Paraben? Parababin?

• 43:34H. Foley?

  That's bad news, whatever it is.

• 43:35Speaker 02

  Whatever, if I can't... If you can't pronounce it, it don't belong on you. And Mando ain't got it. They got a solid stick deodorant formulated and powered by a mandelic acid to stop odor before it starts, baby.

• 43:47H. Foley?

  And the wipes. Tell him about the wipes, Skip.

• 43:49Speaker 02

  Nah, the wipe, hoo hoo, little... I did them the other day. I was Kate Putz. I ran out of deodorant. I get here, I was running out to do spots, one wipe, two wipes, out the door. Right now, Mando's starter pack is perfect for new customers. It comes with a solid stick deodorant, cream tube deodorant, and two free products of your choice. Like the mini body wash or deodorant wipes, which previously said I like. And it's got free shipping as a special offer for our listeners.

• 44:10H. Foley?

  That's a stocking stuffer.

• 44:12Speaker 02

  New customers get $5 off a starter pack with our exclusive code. That equates to over 40% off your starter pack. Use the code GARBAGE at shopmando.com. That's S-H-O-P-M-A-N-D-O dot com. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. Smell fresher, stay drier, and boost your confidence from head to toe at Mando.

• 44:29H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 44:30Speaker 02

  I still think about that... That Groupon dentist I went to. That girl was...

• 44:34H. Foley?

  They say you need all new gums.

• 44:36Speaker 02

  Dude, she was Brazilian.

• 44:37H. Foley?

  They had you coming and going.

• 44:38Speaker 02

  And she was dressed like a woman in my videos, dude. She was, I mean, like a...

• 44:43H. Foley?

  Trying to sell you on a tongue transplant.

• 44:45Speaker 02

  She had like six inch stilettos on.

• 44:49Speaker 02

  Fucking had me with a stinger going. I got my-

• 44:53H. Foley?

  Like a happy ending at the dentist, though?

• 44:55Speaker 02

  Face down, ass up, ready to go. Got me in that chair, Ben. Ben every which way but Tuesday.

• 45:01H. Foley?

  You wanna take off all your clothes? Oh, I'm sorry. Did I read this wrong?

• 45:08H. Foley?

  I'll do the bubble gum fluoride.

• 45:11Speaker 02

  And a shot of Rumpleton if you got it. Something to set the mood in here. And a drink for the lady? I'll do a Sunny D screwdriver if you have it. Yeah, that was, I mean, that felt like a...

• 45:25Speaker 02

  Like a Jack Shack, you know what I mean? It felt like a wishy-washy or something. A jerk hut.

• 45:32H. Foley?

  But I examine Costco perfectly.

• 45:36Speaker 02

  I think it's, it's like that stuff, it's, eh, you know.

• 45:40H. Foley?

  At least you're not wasting your fucking time in there. You're gonna have to stand in that goddamn line. You might as well fucking, like you said, might as well make a day of it.

• 45:47Speaker 02

  Make a day. Make it a day. Um, alright, let's see here. Um, this one's from Mary. $10 homie. Is it garbage to buy name brand food items and organic fruits and vegetables only when you have family over to prove to them that you're doing just fine?

• 46:06H. Foley?

  I respect it.

• 46:07Speaker 02

  That's a pro move. Pro move. Fake it till you make it.

• 46:12H. Foley?

  Throw those organic lemons in their fucking faces.

• 46:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:15H. Foley?

  An old bag.

• 46:16Speaker 02

  Uh huh. And it's also like... Who cares? Because if you do have some people over, that might be mixed company. You know, and you're, let's just say you're very bag, serial, generic, kinda whatever.

• 46:27H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 46:27Speaker 02

  You're gonna get some Iroh. You're gonna go, "Oh, uh, uh, uh." Just shut them up for this one time. "Hey, look, I got all nice shit." Keep it moving. Keep it moving.

• 46:36H. Foley?

  And only buy the organic fruit that has it on the label. Like, if there are loose apples and they're organic, fuck that. Get the regular ones. If you're getting a bag of lemons that says organic, that's what you want. So they know.

• 46:48Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. Save all the-

• 46:50H. Foley?

  So they know.

• 46:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, save the labels, too.

• 46:52H. Foley?

  That's why I-

• 46:52Speaker 02

  And then you say it. Slip it in a con- "Hey, can you hand me one of those organic lemons, please?" Real subtle. That kinda stuff.

• 46:58H. Foley?

  I buy the, we bought those pasture-raised eggs once. Keep the carton, throw the, throw, throw, throw the chemi ones.

• 47:05Speaker 02

  Throw a couple egg ones best in there.

• 47:08H. Foley?

  With the nine yolks in them.

• 47:09Speaker 02

  I don't know, the first-

• 47:10Speaker 03

  I just got one of those today.

• 47:12H. Foley?

  And really? Double yolked it?

• 47:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:15H. Foley?

  You turn away from a double yolk, don't you?

• 47:17Speaker 02

  Uh, no, the one time I did, I had, I had double, double yolks.

• 47:20H. Foley?

  Double, double?

• 47:21Speaker 02

  I was making three eggs and I had, two of them were doubles. I fucking almost burnt the house down. And I had to have the priest come in and bless the place. Yeah, that's, you're flirting with the, that's, you're playing god then, dude.

• 47:35H. Foley?

  Like an alien covenant over here.

• 47:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, not for me. I remember the first time I saw Eglin's Best, that was, used to be the big brand, that was the expensive brand.

• 47:43H. Foley?

  They're still popping.

• 47:44Speaker 02

  And I remember-

• 47:45H. Foley?

  They got the stamp on them.

• 47:45Speaker 02

  I remember, uh, Flip's parents had them, cause they ate like hoity-toity, like Flip's house sucked for snacks. Sucked. You'd be like, hey, can we get some, be like at a sleepover, or like his parents are down the shore or whatever? And we'd be there like fucking drinking, like, can we get some to eat? It's just like, half a box of stale wheat thins, which are already stale to begin with. He's had the, and like-

• 48:06H. Foley?

  Triscuits are real tough when they're old.

• 48:07Speaker 02

  Also, just like weird bread, and I'm like, you ain't got Strowman's or fucking Wonder, you got nothing?

• 48:12H. Foley?

  The fuck is bumper nickel?

• 48:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, flaxseed and shit. I'm like, dude, we're fucking sixteen, eating flaxseed, what is the fuck's going on?

• 48:20H. Foley?

  Am I a racehorse? Fuck outta here.

• 48:22Speaker 02

  Get me a bag of oats, will you? Yeah, a lot of oats and grains, fiber- And they had them there.

• 48:30H. Foley?

  That's trash now.

• 48:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:32H. Foley?

  You're not getting the, you're not getting the brown ones. But you took a long time for Patty to accept that.

• 48:39Speaker 02

  Well, my, my mom's still-

• 48:40H. Foley?

  Bleached white?

• 48:41Speaker 02

  The bleached white Wawa eggs.

• 48:43H. Foley?

  Freezing cold?

• 48:44Speaker 02

  Uh huh. Yeah.

• 48:46H. Foley?

  Wawa eggs.

• 48:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, or Ak- Akami.

• 48:49H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 48:50Speaker 02

  Uh, but yeah, she's like the, she's still the, you know, the two ninety-nine eggs or whatever.

• 48:55H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 48:55Speaker 02

  Ah, they're all the same.

• 48:56H. Foley?

  Eggs are expensive.

• 48:58Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 48:58H. Foley?

  Just like, they crush you with those things.

• 49:00Speaker 02

  New York eggs is-

• 49:01H. Foley?

  And they're finding out some-

• 49:02Speaker 02

  It's insane. New York eggs is like fifteen dollars a dozen for a dozen eggs.

• 49:05H. Foley?

  And that shit's all bullshit, they're all lying on the packaging. Fucking past your eggs. You're in a goddamn parking lot. Fuck outta here.

• 49:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, she has a problem with the eggs here.

• 49:16H. Foley?

  I'm an egg beaters, man.

• 49:19H. Foley?

  I know they never, they never crossed your, your threshold. The egg beaters.

• 49:23Speaker 02

  We had them. I just never.

• 49:24H. Foley?

  You did?

• 49:25Speaker 02

  They were, they were for like, I, I.

• 49:26H. Foley?

  That was the, that was the parents that were in shape. They had egg beaters. I'm almost making French taste.

• 49:33Speaker 02

  With them?

• 49:34H. Foley?

  No.

• 49:34Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 49:35H. Foley?

  Just making French those. At the rich kids, my rich friends had that. They had egg beaters.

• 49:40Speaker 02

  I don't.

• 49:40H. Foley?

  Do a nice omelet.

• 49:41Speaker 02

  I, uh, maybe I'm, maybe I'm wrong then. I don't think, I never had, I thought, in my head it was, there was at some.

• 49:47H. Foley?

  I can't imagine your mom buying egg beaters.

• 49:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, no.

• 49:52H. Foley?

  It's commie shit.

• 49:54Speaker 02

  It's goddamn America.

• 49:55H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 49:55Speaker 02

  Give me a dozen eggs for a nickel all day. Um, all right, let's see here. This one's from another dangerous username or something? Another dang username, sorry. Never have one read, are you garbage if you lost someone's pet while they were away on vacation?

• 50:15H. Foley?

  Jesus, man.

• 50:16Speaker 02

  I was a.

• 50:16H. Foley?

  That's my worst fucking nightmare.

• 50:18Speaker 02

  I was a kid, I was asked to watch my parents.

• 50:21H. Foley?

  Oh my god.

• 50:22Speaker 02

  My parents' friend's snake was swinging.

• 50:24H. Foley?

  Snake?

• 50:25Speaker 02

  It escaped in our house after three days, never to be seen again.

• 50:29H. Foley?

  What kinda trash are you?

• 50:31Speaker 02

  I could never sleep ever again. If it got out in the house, dude, I'd never go to bed.

• 50:36H. Foley?

  That vacation wasn't to Paris or Barcelona. That was definitely for the Sturgis Festival down in Myrtle Beach.

• 50:42Speaker 02

  That was a timeshare, bitch.

• 50:44H. Foley?

  Hey, you gotta watch Rocky for a couple of weeks.

• 50:46Speaker 02

  What kind of parents' friends have snakes, dude?

• 50:49H. Foley?

  That's crazy.

• 50:51Speaker 03

  Also, to take the snake into your house?

• 50:53Speaker 02

  Is nuts. Go, hey, hey, I'll go.

• 50:55H. Foley?

  Oh, go! That's not, yeah, go, I'm checking on it every couple of days. Throw him a mouse or a hamster or something.

• 51:01Speaker 02

  At least a couple of egg beaters call it a day.

• 51:03H. Foley?

  Or.

• 51:03Speaker 03

  That feels a lot, cause you gotta get the tank into your crib.

• 51:06Speaker 02

  That's too much, well, that obviously.

• 51:07H. Foley?

  Yeah, well, you're bringing his sleeping bag over and it's pills and shit like that?

• 51:10Speaker 02

  I never.

• 51:10H. Foley?

  Fuck that.

• 51:11Speaker 02

  I never trusted that. They're always like, yeah, you gotta put like a rock on the lid or whatever to keep it down. I'm like, this motherfucker's trying to get us. Why do you have a mini?

• 51:18H. Foley?

  Gotta get out.

• 51:21Speaker 02

  I never got that.

• 51:22H. Foley?

  Man, so hold on, so it got lost in the house?

• 51:24Speaker 02

  Got lost in the house, never to be seen again. I would lose, if I'm Black Mamba getting you in the middle of the night?

• 51:31H. Foley?

  That's what they got.

• 51:32Speaker 02

  Get me for my Atari Hanzu sword.

• 51:37Speaker 02

  Bite me right in the snout.

• 51:38H. Foley?

  Man. You watch my pet snake while I'm on vacation?

• 51:42Speaker 02

  Dude, imagine just like dumping out a thing of cocoa pebbles and it falls in the bowl or something?

• 51:50Speaker 02

  Ah, dude, I would lose it.

• 51:53H. Foley?

  Wonder what he got for that?

• 51:55Speaker 02

  Probably charges. What are you talking about?

• 51:58H. Foley?

  But, man, watching a pet... You gotta watch a snake like that?

• 52:01Speaker 02

  You gotta probably fa... I mean, you gotta-

• 52:02H. Foley?

  I thought you feed it once a week or something.

• 52:04Speaker 02

  I don't know what snake it is. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, hey, po... Get someone to pop by, eh, drop a mouse, oats, flaxseed, whatever it's eating. Eh, keep it moving, dude. To bring someone else's snake into your house if you're not a snake household is crazy. That's actually-

• 52:19H. Foley?

  Say you have demons.

• 52:21Speaker 02

  That's like, that's asking more than like-

• 52:22Speaker 03

  They eat like twice or once a week.

• 52:26Speaker 02

  Hey, these people are going to jail. That's what it sounds like.

• 52:29H. Foley?

  That's what it was.

• 52:30Speaker 02

  Doing a, doing a three to six month.

• 52:31H. Foley?

  Yeah. Carnival cruise at best. Shut up, do it.

• 52:37Speaker 02

  Uh, alright, let's see. This one's from Sean R. Never had one read. Is it garbage to while be out at a restaurant? Take the lemon out of a Coke and squeeze the juice onto your food? I'll answer this one. He says, yes, this weekend I was home for Thanksgiving. I met up with some old friends for a dinner. One of the guys does really well and treated us to a fantastic meal at a super classy restaurant. I'm getting turned on over. I'm getting turned on over here.

• 53:02H. Foley?

  That served fish and chips. I don't know what you're putting that lemon on.

• 53:05Speaker 02

  Halfway through, I look up and one of my friends sticks his hands in his Coca-Cola, removes the lemon, and squeezes it onto his chicken.

• 53:16Speaker 02

  I guess I was-

• 53:17H. Foley?

  Wait, in the Coca-Cola, on their edge? Alright. But you're getting Diet Coke juice on your fucking-

• 53:23Speaker 02

  It's all going to the same place as a bite and sip, man. You're just getting ahead of it.

• 53:27H. Foley?

  Chicken marsala? That's crazy.

• 53:29Speaker 02

  Also, I don't think you put lemon on a chicken marsala. Squeezes it onto his chicken. I guess I was the only one who saw it because I was sitting there speechless for so long I completely lost track of the conversation that was happening. It was three, it's been three days and I think I finally recovered from the trauma.

• 53:45H. Foley?

  My man.

• 53:46Speaker 02

  Anyway, I gotta go make some new friends.

• 53:48H. Foley?

  I respect the move.

• 53:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean-

• 53:51H. Foley?

  A little fresh lemon's classy on whatever.

• 53:53Speaker 02

  It does. That guy being like, I've seen this done in movies or whatever. Now what you gotta do is spray your lemon on it.

• 54:01H. Foley?

  I will, I, listen, I'm a big lemon guy. I'm a bit, when it comes to that stuff, it, it adds. Like when I, we get to calamari, when the calamari hits the table, I'm doing the whole thing. I'm hitting a little, a little salt.

• 54:14Speaker 02

  Eating the whole thing?

• 54:15H. Foley?

  I'm hitting with a little salt and pepper and I'm doing the lemon all the way around.

• 54:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, you got it. That's calamari.

• 54:19H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 54:20Speaker 02

  That comes a lot of times, in a very, a real nice joint, not even nice joints, just some places do it well. They give it a half cut lemon with a net on it to catch the seeds. That's, a lot of seafood places will do that.

• 54:31H. Foley?

  At somebody's retirement dinner.

• 54:32Speaker 02

  Um, but, uh, a lot of places down the shore do that. Comes with the lemon, half cut, in the little.

• 54:38H. Foley?

  Don't think they're reusing those?

• 54:39Speaker 02

  Little net. Um, my, this is insane that this came out. My wife did it yesterday. Took the, took the, took the lemon off of my, off the rim of my diet.

• 54:51H. Foley?

  Off the rim?

• 54:51Speaker 02

  I was having.

• 54:52H. Foley?

  Off the rim is different.

• 54:53Speaker 02

  I was hap, but then she offered it to her parents going, anybody want to squeeze? I said, duh, I gotta wrap the upkeep here. The hell, you're gonna get us bouncing this joint.

• 55:01H. Foley?

  Anybody want, anybody wanna hit off this?

• 55:03Speaker 02

  Anybody wanna, anybody wanna take a whack at this?

• 55:07Speaker 02

  It's puff puff pass, ma, let's go.

• 55:10H. Foley?

  Ha, sharing a lemon.

• 55:12Speaker 02

  Yeah. Uh, so she ended up putting it on her, it was a chicken, she had a chicken, uh, chicken sandwich.

• 55:20H. Foley?

  A chicken sandwich?

• 55:21Speaker 02

  She took the top bread, or the top off and.

• 55:24H. Foley?

  Just throws the lemon in there.

• 55:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I was like, either, it's so funny that somebody just asked that, cause I was like, that's, I respect that's, that's fine. I, I'm also a weird guy. It's fine. It's, it's.

• 55:35H. Foley?

  I'm sure we've.

• 55:36Speaker 02

  It's probably a little uncouth, but.

• 55:38H. Foley?

  I'm sure we've talked about this before, but as a fat kid back in the day, did you ever get to the point where you were eating lemons?

• 55:45Speaker 02

  No.

• 55:46H. Foley?

  I would, I would take the lemon and I would dip it in sugar and eat it.

• 55:49Speaker 02

  I remember that happening.

• 55:51H. Foley?

  Like an orange. I'd eat it like an orange.

• 55:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, I remember that happening.

• 55:54H. Foley?

  So good.

• 55:55Speaker 02

  Lemon drop shots.

• 55:56H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 55:57Speaker 02

  I eat that one. Shout out to Deke.

• 56:02Speaker 02

  A basement bar. I fell in love with a fuzzy navel.

• 56:06H. Foley?

  Shout out to the boys at Sigma Pi, huh?

• 56:08Speaker 02

  What's a fuzzy navel? It's orange juice and peach schnapps, I think.

• 56:11H. Foley?

  Yeah. And vodka.

• 56:13Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 56:14H. Foley?

  There's no way it's just peach schnapps.

• 56:16Speaker 02

  I mean, the ones they were serving were.

• 56:17H. Foley?

  Be puking everywhere.

• 56:19Speaker 03

  Peach schnapps and orange juice, baby.

• 56:20Speaker 02

  That's it? God damn. I never felt more of a man than ordering two fuzzy nabels for myself.

• 56:25Speaker 03

  You can add a splash of vodka depending on the drinker's taste.

• 56:31H. Foley?

  I stepped on the blow was, huh?

• 56:34Speaker 02

  Need somebody to get this going quicker.

• 56:38Speaker 02

  Uh, yeah, that's, um...

• 56:41H. Foley?

  Man, shout out to the homies. That was a list of fucking garbage.

• 56:45Speaker 02

  That's, uh... But, you know, and listen, I think what happens at the table, if you're not in mixed company, the only time I try to keep up appearances if I'm in mixed company, right? But if you're at, this guy's in his hometown with his boys at a nice, as what he said, a super classy restaurant.

• 57:05H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 57:06Speaker 02

  That's not, who gives a fuck? The waiter don't care. The fucking guy at the table across from me ain't looking at you. You're not causing a scene. It is what it is.

• 57:13H. Foley?

  I see what he's saying.

• 57:14Speaker 02

  What are your boys gonna razz you? Who gives a, your goddamn boys?

• 57:16H. Foley?

  I've been...

• 57:17Speaker 02

  And you want a little, you want a little lemon on the chicken?

• 57:19H. Foley?

  Yeah, but I've been, I understand what he's saying. I've been going through a pretty rough phase of being well aware of when I'm eating with other people, what they might be thinking. You know what I mean?

• 57:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, I usually tell you. There's not a whole lot of thinking.

• 57:35H. Foley?

  You do. But, like, you know, I'll take the napkin and do the bite. Like, I'm doing it like communion, you know what I mean? Or I'll bring the plate, you know, a little plate up to me. Is that bad?

• 57:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:47H. Foley?

  That's what the Japanese do, I think.

• 57:49Speaker 03

  I know, but it's a big guy doing it. It's...

• 57:52H. Foley?

  Yeah, get a little saucer plate doing it. Otherwise, it's at the forks, then it's everywhere.

• 57:57Speaker 03

  You do it in the green room a lot. You'll try to, like, put on a little bit of air.

• 58:00H. Foley?

  I got damn show shirt on. I got goddamn show to do.

• 58:02Speaker 02

  I'll give you that. You got a show shirt on, which you still get stains on it, but...

• 58:06H. Foley?

  Man, if you, if you want to really hurt your fucking, uh, your self-esteem, go out to dinner with fucking Patty and the bird. They just both sit across the table and fucking stare at me.

• 58:20H. Foley?

  Judging me.

• 58:22Speaker 02

  Sure, I mean, this is, there's a lot to unpack here, if you want me to be honest with you.

• 58:26H. Foley?

  It's brutal.

• 58:27Speaker 02

  I, you know.

• 58:28H. Foley?

  Hey, I had like 10 meals with them this weekend, fucking every one.

• 58:31Speaker 02

  In one, in one day.

• 58:32H. Foley?

  It's like I was sitting in front of the fucking parole board.

• 58:38Speaker 02

  You don't, yeah, I've said this before, it's, you get in a zone when the food gets dropped, that, you know, you, you shut out the world.

• 58:47H. Foley?

  Like a Dill's eyes.

• 58:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's very, it's very Shark-esque, and you're, you're going at it, and you're, you know, and then some, the, the thing I've realized that you do, you know, we, we share a lot of meals, I've had more meals with you probably than my friggin' wife.

• 59:02H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 59:03Speaker 02

  Boys like to eat, like a, like a nice lunch between episodes. Uh, we're on the road a lot, have a lot of breakfast together at a hotel, um, a lot of dindins. We like to eat, we're an eating crew, um.

• 59:17H. Foley?

  This is all true?

• 59:18Speaker 02

  What you do is, the food gets dropped, and you, you go into what I would call your frenzy mode, right? And you're, you're eating, and you're swiping, and you're dipping, and you're, the way you, the way you wipe up a sauce with a, with a shrimp cocktail or whatever, whoop, right? You're really, you start going, then it hits you, then you sober up, and once you get your little, you get your, you get your dopamine hit, you sober up a little bit, and you go, and you start looking around, and you go.

• 59:46H. Foley?

  Did I hurt anybody?

• 59:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, you come to.

• 59:48H. Foley?

  Three days later.

• 59:50Speaker 02

  You come to, and you go, you realize that you just went.

• 59:54Speaker 03

  Covered in cocktail sauce.

• 59:55Speaker 02

  You went sicko mode.

• 59:56H. Foley?

  What happened?

• 1:00:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, and then, then you start, then your, your shame hits a little bit.

• 1:00:03H. Foley?

  So I can't judge the fucking lemon?

• 1:00:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's.

• 1:00:06H. Foley?

  In the soda, though.

• 1:00:07Speaker 02

  That's, who gives a fu- I, what are we doing here? Live a life, we're goddamn Americans at the end, we ain't the French. Fucking, you want a little lemon? It's also, what are you gonna go ask the, the waiter, "Hey, can I have a side of lemon?", and you're sitting there, you're.

• 1:00:18H. Foley?

  Can I extra, can I, can I have non-drink lemons?

• 1:00:22Speaker 02

  Oh, listen, I'm not saying it's classy, it is what it is, have your boys fucking.

• 1:00:25H. Foley?

  No, I'm saying you look like an asshole that's giving me non-drink lemons.

• 1:00:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, can I get a side of lemons? I just don't wanna, if I just want a little spritz of lemon, I don't wanna wait for, uh, wait for the guy to come up, if he's there, "Hey, can I grab a, a side dish of lemons?", "Sure."

• 1:00:37H. Foley?

  Couple of maraschino cherries.

• 1:00:44Speaker 02

  Couple of high balls, a couple of fuzzy navels if you got them back there.

• 1:00:47H. Foley?

  Me on straight.

• 1:00:49Speaker 02

  Alright, man. I do have to say in this vacation, uh, I fell in love with the strawberry daiquiri.

• 1:00:56H. Foley?

  You did, huh?

• 1:00:57Speaker 02

  Aw, man.

• 1:00:58H. Foley?

  Welcome to the team, kid.

• 1:00:59Speaker 02

  Oooh, all-inclusive Kippy was in his zone.

• 1:01:04H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:04Speaker 02

  Talking about Jordan and his flu game.

• 1:01:07H. Foley?

  A frozen, a strong frozen drink is very underrated.

• 1:01:10Speaker 02

  On that, well, it's the sugar, cuz like if you're a little, you're dragging ass after a day or two, you're eating pretty shitty food. You know, you're just, you know, we're just hanging.

• 1:01:19H. Foley?

  Get that glucose up.

• 1:01:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, right? You gotta, I gotta get something to get a little pep in my step.

• 1:01:23H. Foley?

  Hit me with a spike, will ya?

• 1:01:25Speaker 02

  It's the, it's the thing of the sugar, the cold.

• 1:01:27H. Foley?

  Sugar?

• 1:01:29H. Foley?

  Great way to tackle anything.

• 1:01:32Speaker 02

  Alright, this is from Phil A. Are you garbage if your dog bit two different pizza guys from the same pizza joint? Geez, dude. That, dude, that, they should stop taking your orders. That's crazy.

• 1:01:43H. Foley?

  Fuck that.

• 1:01:43Speaker 02

  They hate you. I would, dude, if I, I'd be like, I'm not going back. That's why they got the second guy, cuz the first guy, like, I ain't going back there.

• 1:01:50H. Foley?

  Fucking Morrison's got me.

• 1:01:51Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm. That's bad, dude.

• 1:01:53H. Foley?

  Man.

• 1:01:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, what are you, how are they getting them? I know, but like...

• 1:02:00Speaker 02

  I, I, I mean, at that point, if I had ordered food, I'm assuming this might be a front yard dog?

• 1:02:06H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:07Speaker 02

  At that point, if I had ordered food and he's already bit somebody, or is prone to, I think he might bite somebody, like if we're having somebody come over to the house, I'm aware when the person's coming to be like, alright, Hans, go to your bed, I'll put him out back, whatever it is, he ain't getting to, you know.

• 1:02:22H. Foley?

  At the door.

• 1:02:23Speaker 02

  He ain't getting a one-on-one with you.

• 1:02:24H. Foley?

  There's nothing more chaotic than a person holding a dog back at a front door. There is no more of a, "Stop it, stop it, he's fine, he's not gonna ah and fucking leas into you."

• 1:02:34Speaker 02

  I, uh, I used to have to do that when I was...

• 1:02:35H. Foley?

  God forbid the pizza drops.

• 1:02:37Speaker 02

  When I was selling roof, uh, door-to-door roofing siding and windows. You're knocking, it'd be some, some mom who's got like three, three kids crying, they're fighting. And I'm like, "Hi, I'm Kevin, we're in the neighborhood, just walking around." And she's like, "What do you want?" And there's this fucking dog eyeing my fat ass up. She's like, "What are you doing again?" And I'm like, "Are both homeowners here? Have you noticed your leaky gutter by any chance? I know it's a couple, a couple of spots."

• 1:03:05H. Foley?

  Are you saying that when you didn't even look at the gutters? You just saying they're leaking?

• 1:03:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, making it up. You see your roof's gone? Yeah, you know, we got eyes on that. Even.

• 1:03:14H. Foley?

  Scumbag.

• 1:03:14Speaker 02

  No, no, no. Hey, we're in the, it was, hey, we're in the neighborhood, we're, we're working down the street on the Johnsons. Usually a liar, just fucking pop up.

• 1:03:21H. Foley?

  I like that.

• 1:03:22Speaker 02

  Uh, 12, yeah, we're down there, 123 Main Street, and as a, as a courtesy offer, we're going around door to door. To the neighbors.

• 1:03:29H. Foley?

  Letting you dickheads know.

• 1:03:30Speaker 02

  To offer a 10% savings if you sign up for your free estimate today.

• 1:03:36Speaker 02

  And they never did.

• 1:03:37H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 1:03:37Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 1:03:38H. Foley?

  Fucking three kids, four dogs.

• 1:03:40Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:03:40H. Foley?

  Biting people.

• 1:03:41Speaker 02

  It's also like, you're like, oh, but look at this, and like, they're like, yeah, so, uh, what the fuck do I care? I'm not made them, I don't have money to fix, fix this crack in the siding or whatever.

• 1:03:51H. Foley?

  I got heart disease, you fat bastard, I don't give a fuck about the gunners.

• 1:03:56H. Foley?

  Get the fuck out of my porch.

• 1:03:57Speaker 02

  You'd also get hit with, what are you doing, you just get out of here, and you go, okay, I have a go.

• 1:04:02H. Foley?

  Go fuck myself?

• 1:04:03Speaker 02

  You know, this is a no soliciting neighborhood, I'm like, yeah, you know, I know, this is no soliciting, and then I have to get on the horn and go pick up the other canvassers and go, guys, meet at the van in 10. Oh, the fuck, the fuzz is on us.

• 1:04:13H. Foley?

  The jig's up.

• 1:04:14Speaker 02

  You used to make like fake name badges and stuff, oh yeah, we're with the, if they go, do you have credentials? You go, yeah, right here, and it just said like Kevin, like there was no, like, it was, it was not by authority.

• 1:04:27Speaker 02

  Best job I ever had.

• 1:04:28H. Foley?

  Yeah, it'd be tough to get that pizza guy back there.

• 1:04:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:30H. Foley?

  Fucking bit boy, if I was the owner, I'd be calling, what the fuck?

• 1:04:32Speaker 02

  That's on, yeah, that's on you, dude, that's on you.

• 1:04:35H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's on you.

• 1:04:36Speaker 02

  One time I get things ha, I'm not saying I get, but things have, it's an accident, things have, two times, you gotta fucking, you're lucky that they're not calling for that dog's head.

• 1:04:44H. Foley?

  Putting him down.

• 1:04:45Speaker 02

  Biting two people nowadays?

• 1:04:49Speaker 02

  No, thank you, um.

• 1:04:51H. Foley?

  Must be some good pizza though.

• 1:04:53Speaker 02

  Alright, let's see here, this one's from Riley B. Never had one read, are you garbage if you have to bring a bath towel to wipe yourself down in the bathroom after walking into work in the morning? I respect it.

• 1:05:07H. Foley?

  You ever work with a really sweaty guy? Not out of shape, real sweaty guy.

• 1:05:11Speaker 02

  Uh, not. I worked with a guy that smelled so bad one time for a summer. But, I mean, I just kept my distance.

• 1:05:19H. Foley?

  I had a kid that trained me at a restaurant one time. His breath could have fucking killed the dead.

• 1:05:24Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:05:24H. Foley?

  It was brutal.

• 1:05:26Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:05:26H. Foley?

  And at the POS machine, brutal.

• 1:05:29Speaker 02

  Get a whiff of it?

• 1:05:30H. Foley?

  Oh, man, just, bro, you got a rotten dude.

• 1:05:33Speaker 02

  You gotta, you gotta go get that pulled, dude. Uh, I had one guy when I-

• 1:05:38H. Foley?

  You got a lot taller in there.

• 1:05:39Speaker 02

  When I worked at that lock and safe company, we were just, it was me, this guy with one leg, he smelled his, just, not bad, just very strong BO. You know what I mean? Not like, not like, ooh, but just like musk, like, yeah, like, he's in the building.

• 1:05:55H. Foley?

  Old shirt.

• 1:05:56Speaker 02

  Yes, like, you're just like, I, you haven't worn deo, you're not wearing deodorant.

• 1:06:00H. Foley?

  Sometimes I like that smell in a place, in a weird way.

• 1:06:03Speaker 02

  I, it's, it's very, eh, you know, nat- natural.

• 1:06:07H. Foley?

  Like, what I imagine the cabin of one of the ships on Deadliest Catch would smell like.

• 1:06:14Speaker 02

  I don't know about that.

• 1:06:15H. Foley?

  Stinky but comforting in a weird way.

• 1:06:17Speaker 02

  Hey, this guy's psycho.

• 1:06:18H. Foley?

  I can't, I can't really explain it.

• 1:06:21Speaker 02

  Um, no, but, and do we would just sit, it was me, it was three of us that worked in there, and all three of us could catch heaters in there. He'd be working.

• 1:06:31H. Foley?

  Yeah, see, mix a little smoke in there.

• 1:06:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, like, it was, it, it was just like, it smelled like a dad, you know, and we were like, you're on, like, I get that, but I'm being like, dude, no one in your life has told you, like, at any, like, a, a neighbor, a, a cousin, no one's been like, dude, you're ripe? Like, you know, take, uh, try a little Rycard or something.

• 1:06:52H. Foley?

  Kick.

• 1:06:53Speaker 02

  Little something.

• 1:06:54H. Foley?

  Man, yeah, we had a teacher that would just come in and sweat. And we, he'd have to shower in the middle of the day at the school.

• 1:07:01Speaker 02

  Wait, what?

• 1:07:02H. Foley?

  Yeah, he was just sweaty.

• 1:07:04Speaker 02

  It's a glandular issue.

• 1:07:06H. Foley?

  He would also have to shave every once in a while midday. It would grow that quick.

• 1:07:12Speaker 02

  That's, you're lying.

• 1:07:13H. Foley?

  I'm telling you.

• 1:07:13Speaker 02

  That's insane, dude. No one's shaving midday.

• 1:07:16H. Foley?

  I'm telling you.

• 1:07:17Speaker 02

  That's not a thing.

• 1:07:18H. Foley?

  Coach Delmuto. I feel bad saying his name.

• 1:07:23H. Foley?

  It was like a thing.

• 1:07:25Speaker 02

  Cuts to him in his apartment, his face is covered in air. Aw, Foley. I thought you really liked me. Alright, we gotta wrap it up.

• 1:07:35H. Foley?

  Gang, I'm gonna tell you right now, we love ya.

• 1:07:37Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 1:07:38H. Foley?

  We'll see you next week.

• 1:07:39Speaker 02

  Peace.