Ari Matti!

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian Ari Matti! You know Ari Matti from stand up comedy, Kill Tony w/ Tony Hinchcliffe, the Joe Rogan Experience, Good For You w/ Whitney Cummings, Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast, The William Montgomery Show, Stuff Island, The Danny Brown Show, and so much more! Thanks for watching the Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast! #comedypodcasts #podcast #podcastshow #comedians #podcasts AYG & Friends: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Aura Frames: https://auraframes.com Promo Code: garbage This Show is sponsored by BetterHelp Better Help: https://www. BetterHelp.com/GARBAGE Pretty Litter: https://www.prettylitter.com/garbage Soul: https://getsoul.com with promo code GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

• 0:19H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? Oh, yeah. It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find out they're going to be classy. Or just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host, Dave Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tooties and the new addition. She got electrocuted last night. Okay. It's a new street drug the kids are taking. She's got her hands on a bag. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage? He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

• 0:55Speaker 02

  What up, everybody? Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. And obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com/areyougarbage. You go over there, you get all that bonus content.

• 1:07H. Foley?

  Yes, sir. And gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time. He is a very funny, very successful stand-up comedian, performs all over the world. Kid came over here to scene hard, hit the scene quick. He's one of the stars over there in that Kill Tony universe that just keeps getting bigger and bigger. Give it up for Mr. Ari Matty.

• 1:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:30H. Foley?

  Hey, pal. Look at you.

• 1:32Speaker 03

  What's up, legends?

• 1:34H. Foley?

  Good to see you, buddy.

• 1:35Speaker 02

  Thanks for coming.

• 1:36H. Foley?

  Look like he just came from the gym.

• 1:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:37H. Foley?

  Got his sweats on.

• 1:38Speaker 03

  Do I? I always look like that.

• 1:41Speaker 02

  He looks like a European assassin, is what you're saying. Always with the tracksuit pants.

• 1:45Speaker 03

  I know, yeah, right?

• 1:46H. Foley?

  Put the RPG down.

• 1:48Speaker 02

  Yeah. They look good, though. You gotta look.

• 1:50Speaker 03

  They're comfortable.

• 1:51Speaker 02

  I'm with it.

• 1:52H. Foley?

  Give us the backstory, because I'm intrigued here. You were born in Estonia, right? And then, do the comedy first. When did you start doing stand-up?

• 2:01Speaker 03

  I started stand-up in Melbourne, Australia, because there was no real comedy scene in Estonia, but I was like backpacking slash trying to be an MMA fighter.

• 2:11H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 2:12Speaker 02

  It's a good combo.

• 2:13H. Foley?

  I didn't know that. All right.

• 2:14Speaker 03

  And then I met this crazy bitch. From the US.

• 2:19Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 2:20Speaker 03

  She's like Mexican blood, but the US passport. One of the most powerful combinations of confidence. You know.

• 2:28H. Foley?

  This is in Australia?

• 2:29Speaker 03

  Uh, this was in Thailand. We met at a hostel.

• 2:33H. Foley?

  Wait, what the fuck?

• 2:34Speaker 02

  This kid's all over the fucking place.

• 2:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know, dude, no, no, no.

• 2:36H. Foley?

  When did you start back? How old were you when you, when you start, when you go out on this backbacking track?

• 2:40Speaker 03

  I went, uh, I went with my girlfriend to Thailand when I was like maybe nineteen with my Estonian sweet angel girlfriend.

• 2:46H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 2:47Speaker 03

  But then you go to Thailand and you're like, I think I need to come back alone.

• 2:50Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 2:53H. Foley?

  I got you a flight home. I'm gonna stay for the week.

• 2:55Speaker 03

  Thailand's one of those places, you know?

• 2:57Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 2:57Speaker 03

  Sorry, baby, I couldn't find a hotel. You're just fucking on a, getting blown by three dudes.

• 3:03Speaker 02

  What? That's a vacation, baby.

• 3:04Speaker 03

  Beautiful angels, those men are there, huh?

• 3:06Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 3:07Speaker 03

  Jesus Christ, literally, the perfect skin.

• 3:08Speaker 02

  Yeah. Um, okay.

• 3:10Speaker 03

  No transitionary issues.

• 3:12Speaker 02

  No, no, no.

• 3:13Speaker 03

  Like, literally, the transition in Thailand from a guy to a gal, it's literally seamless.

• 3:17H. Foley?

  It's over sunglasses?

• 3:18Speaker 03

  Only the organ.

• 3:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 3:20H. Foley?

  So you go over there on vacation with your, with your girl, and you're in Thailand, and then take it from there?

• 3:25Speaker 03

  And then, uh, I tried comedy in Estonia because I watched Eddie, in my, see, this is, this is the plan. I was like, UFC middleweight champ, maybe light heavy, I'll see how it feels.

• 3:35Speaker 02

  Sure, yeah, yeah.

• 3:36Speaker 03

  And I'll do an HBO special on the side.

• 3:37Speaker 02

  Okay, just for fun.

• 3:39Speaker 03

  Cause Eddie Murphy seems funny, and I'm riffing in school.

• 3:43Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 3:43Speaker 03

  I'm funny, he's just talking, I'm just talking. So I started comedy.

• 3:47Speaker 02

  Delusion of a comic.

• 3:48Speaker 03

  It's insane.

• 3:49Speaker 02

  Of a comic who, before they start doing comedy, is crazy.

• 3:52Speaker 03

  It's insane.

• 3:52Speaker 02

  I had it myself.

• 3:53Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 3:54H. Foley?

  Two, three months, I'll be doing movies.

• 3:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:56Speaker 03

  Cause, uh, but, I mean, I saw Des Chappelle a little. I saw the For What It's Worth clips.

• 4:01Speaker 02

  Where you, where did you see Eddie Murphy?

• 4:02Speaker 03

  The first time I saw was, I was downloading, peer to peer, there was a, do you know LimeWire and Kazaa?

• 4:08Speaker 02

  Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 4:09Speaker 03

  I tried to download Beverly Hills Cop. Remember how you always get the wrong file?

• 4:12Speaker 02

  You always get the wrong thing, yeah.

• 4:13Speaker 03

  Always a guy's dick or something.

• 4:15Speaker 02

  And you waited like three days to download it and then you open it up, yeah.

• 4:18Speaker 03

  So I see Eddie Murphy. It says Eddie Murphy. I want Beverly Hills Cop. And it says it's seven megabytes and in my head like, oh, what a deal.

• 4:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:27Speaker 03

  I don't even think this is gonna be on. So it was an audio file of uh.

• 4:30Speaker 02

  I've done that too. You just get the audio file.

• 4:33Speaker 03

  He's delirious.

• 4:34Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 4:34Speaker 03

  And I remember being like, cause you don't even know why, why is there so many people laughing? Like, what's the bit?

• 4:40Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 4:40Speaker 03

  And that's always like, um, crazy that, you know, he talks about his, uh, grandmother falling down the stairs. And there's like projects there. And I'm like a white suburban kid in Eastern Europe. Why would I even know what he's talking about? But that's when talent exceeds the reference, you know?

• 4:58Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 4:58Speaker 03

  You're like building a picture.

• 5:00Speaker 02

  You can put it in your brain, yeah.

• 5:01Speaker 03

  Then it was Dave Chappelle, for what it's worth. He's talking about, hey, baby, you know, the crack baby. What do I know about crack baby?

• 5:07Speaker 02

  Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 5:08Speaker 03

  But the talent is just there. So that was my first exposure. Then I remember I saw Louis CK clips, you know, I'm like, this fat guy, he's also, because before, I only saw Dave Chappelle and Eddie Murphy and I was like, oh, you gotta be black.

• 5:20Speaker 02

  You gotta be, yeah, he had to be.

• 5:21H. Foley?

  I like his Eastern European, honestly.

• 5:23Speaker 03

  You have to be black to be funny.

• 5:24Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 5:25Speaker 03

  But then I see Louis.

• 5:26H. Foley?

  So you have to be black to be a comedian?

• 5:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:27Speaker 03

  Louis CK and he's like, you know, looking top of shit.

• 5:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:30Speaker 03

  And I'm like.

• 5:31Speaker 02

  I love you, Louis.

• 5:32Speaker 03

  I will. One of the greatest of all time. One of the true kings.

• 5:35Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 5:36Speaker 03

  One of the true kings. Love his, love the work.

• 5:38Speaker 02

  Okay. So then, yeah, you start getting exposed. What age is this?

• 5:42Speaker 03

  This is, well, the exposure starts maybe thirteen to seventeen.

• 5:45Speaker 02

  How old are you now? I'm sorry.

• 5:46Speaker 03

  Thirty-two.

• 5:46Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 5:47Speaker 03

  And then, uh, so the first time I did comedy, the first three times I booked, uh, maybe, I booked like a bar show and I knew enough people. I got eighty people in there, did an hour and a half.

• 5:58Speaker 02

  Your first time?

• 5:59Speaker 03

  Bam. Full bomb.

• 6:01Speaker 02

  Also, he still has the delusion of like, I'm gonna do ninety. I'm gonna do ninety.

• 6:06Speaker 03

  Literally. I fly, I got eighty people in there. About forty-five minutes in, I'm bombing so bad.

• 6:12H. Foley?

  This is a bar in Estonia.

• 6:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:14H. Foley?

  Are you, what language are you doing this in?

• 6:16Speaker 03

  Listen.

• 6:17Speaker 02

  A little bit of everything. A little bit of Thai.

• 6:20Speaker 03

  A little Spanish. This is how I did it. I went all in. I did two show, I booked a tour of four.

• 6:25Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 6:26Speaker 03

  Bam.

• 6:27Speaker 02

  Off the rip.

• 6:28Speaker 03

  I go two in Estonia, but Estonia only has like a million people. I go, let's go international with this motherfucker.

• 6:34Speaker 02

  Why? Let's think bigger.

• 6:36H. Foley?

  Take this over to Broadway.

• 6:37Speaker 03

  I don't even speak English properly, so I did two English, bam, two Estonian. Uh, the first show, I was having such a panic attack on stage.

• 6:45H. Foley?

  How many weeks in the comedy is this?

• 6:47Speaker 03

  No, no, I didn't even have a spot. This is like, day one, I go on stage.

• 6:51Speaker 02

  I respect the confidence.

• 6:53Speaker 03

  I did like a, I did street show, I did, I was throwing, I did everything I've ever thought.

• 6:57H. Foley?

  Half a delirious in Estonian?

• 6:59Speaker 03

  Everything.

• 7:00Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 7:01Speaker 03

  Uh, about forty-five minutes in, I'm having like such a, I'm having a panic attack. So then I call a break. I don't, I didn't even know there's an intermission. I literally, about half the crowd, even my best friends leave, cause it's embarrassing. About forty people stay, and then out of panic, you know what I did? I was like, let's do a quiz. So I just did a quiz, but no questions. I was just, I took a laptop on stage and I was Googling things. And then, the quiz just falls apart.

• 7:31Speaker 02

  As they do, yeah.

• 7:32Speaker 03

  But I had three more days booked, so it's slowly clear.

• 7:35Speaker 02

  Three more days? What the fuck?

• 7:37Speaker 03

  I mean, yeah, so then I did two, one more in Estonian, then I did two in English. I mean, and the crowds went from eighty people to maybe six by the last.

• 7:45Speaker 02

  Sure. Now, is the comedy, I mean, obviously four shows, whatever, isn't that, is it getting better? Are you getting better?

• 7:51Speaker 03

  I can't remember.

• 7:52Speaker 02

  You can't remember.

• 7:53Speaker 03

  I just remember full panic.

• 7:55H. Foley?

  There's no, there was no, was there any type of comedy scene over there? At all?

• 7:59Speaker 03

  No, there actually was rumblings, but these guys, you know, I go to the website.

• 8:04H. Foley?

  These guys couldn't do an hour and a half.

• 8:06Speaker 03

  Exactly. Did you know?

• 8:07Speaker 02

  I've never even seen any merge.

• 8:09Speaker 03

  I go to the website, they're like, you gotta sign up and do five, I'm like, five?

• 8:13Speaker 02

  Five minutes, I do ninety.

• 8:15H. Foley?

  Doing a weekend.

• 8:16Speaker 03

  So, that's when I moved to Australia, I met the Sweet Ainge.

• 8:19H. Foley?

  So you moved, you proper moved to a show, no college?

• 8:22Speaker 03

  No, I went to, uh, I went to college for banking for two weeks.

• 8:27Speaker 02

  Got that down, Pat. That's all I needed.

• 8:29H. Foley?

  I had that.

• 8:30Speaker 03

  Dude.

• 8:30Speaker 02

  I had that to fall back on.

• 8:31Speaker 03

  You know how I left, you know how I left? I literally left my laptop that the school gave me, all my textbooks in the classroom. I took a piss and I looked out of the window, turning the piss, and it was sunny day. And I saw on the way to college, to the, to school that day, I saw that there was from nine to ten, fifty percent off on baby back ribs.

• 8:52Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 8:53Speaker 03

  And you know what I did? Made piss. I just left school.

• 8:57Speaker 02

  That's like, that's like Good Will Hunting.

• 8:59Speaker 03

  And actually went to eat baby burger grapes and listen to a Joey Diaz album, I think.

• 9:04Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 9:04Speaker 03

  I just decided I'm never going back to school.

• 9:06H. Foley?

  And that was it? And were you fighting? When did you start fighting? When did you start doing MMA?

• 9:10Speaker 03

  I like fifteen, sixteen.

• 9:11H. Foley?

  Like actually doing it? Like you're training in a gym and all that kinda stuff?

• 9:15Speaker 03

  I wasn't never good, listen, I was never good, but I competed and shit. Uh, so then, yeah, yeah, when I started coming in Melbourne, then they were like, no, no, the three minute, there's an opener, don't do street. Then I started learning the rules.

• 9:27H. Foley?

  And you moved to Australia for comedy?

• 9:30Speaker 03

  For pussy. Uh, because I met the girl in Thailand.

• 9:35Speaker 02

  And she was living in Australia?

• 9:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, and she was like, you're not a fighter, you're funny, and then she gave me that confidence.

• 9:41H. Foley?

  So you met the girl while you were on vacation with your girlfriend?

• 9:44Speaker 03

  No, no, that's when I went back.

• 9:46H. Foley?

  You went, damn, who the fuck goes to Thailand twice?

• 9:48Speaker 02

  These Estonians move quick, dude.

• 9:50Speaker 03

  I know.

• 9:50Speaker 02

  Confident and move quick.

• 9:52H. Foley?

  I was doing a theater over there.

• 9:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:54Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 9:55H. Foley?

  Okay, so you meet her over there and then she's in Australia?

• 9:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:58H. Foley?

  So you wanna start doing comedy, you wanna get out of Estonia, you decide I'm gonna move to Australia?

• 10:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, cuz there was a scene, Melbourne was a great scene.

• 10:05H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 10:05Speaker 02

  Still, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:06H. Foley?

  Okay, so that's where you started?

• 10:07Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 10:08H. Foley?

  All right, okay.

• 10:09Speaker 03

  Got into it, yeah.

• 10:09H. Foley?

  And what were you doing for work over in Australia?

• 10:12Speaker 03

  Bar back.

• 10:12H. Foley?

  Pay the bills, bar back.

• 10:13Speaker 03

  Bartender, bar back, a thief.

• 10:15H. Foley?

  It happens.

• 10:16Speaker 03

  Flash thief.

• 10:17H. Foley?

  Really?

• 10:17Speaker 02

  What were you stealing?

• 10:18Speaker 03

  Everything.

• 10:19Speaker 02

  Everything. Like from the bar or like from stores?

• 10:22H. Foley?

  Were you like one of those guys on the back of a, of a scooter, like a two-man?

• 10:26Speaker 03

  No, but.

• 10:27H. Foley?

  Snatching purses and cell phones?

• 10:28Speaker 03

  Listen, if you put an Eastern European in a bar with all that cash.

• 10:31Speaker 02

  They're gonna figure it out quick.

• 10:32Speaker 03

  Something's gonna happen.

• 10:33Speaker 02

  I told you I went to school for banking for two weeks.

• 10:35Speaker 03

  Also, all these bosses are hammered. I'm fucking athletic, I'm doing mixed martial, I'm sharp at 3 a.m. I'll give you that fucking.

• 10:42Speaker 02

  You're fake drinking to make them think you're blacked out.

• 10:44Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, all these camps.

• 10:46Speaker 02

  Uh-huh, all right.

• 10:47H. Foley?

  And what's the, what's the Mexican girl doing over in, in Australia? What's she doing for work?

• 10:52Speaker 03

  Stealing lion and fucking shit.

• 10:54H. Foley?

  Really?

• 10:54Speaker 03

  Oh, we're fucking. We would go to, we needed like, at one party, at one point I had a house bar, apartment, apartment party for my birthday, and we needed the speakers, so you go to the Whole Foods, you put them through as carrots, you know, self-checkout.

• 11:06Speaker 02

  Wait, you.

• 11:08Speaker 03

  We did the whole thing.

• 11:09Speaker 02

  Stealing speakers.

• 11:09H. Foley?

  Stealing speakers from Whole Foods.

• 11:10Speaker 02

  From a grocery.

• 11:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, everything.

• 11:12Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 11:13Speaker 03

  And she taught me how to steal. She was like, "Listen, you steal from corporations."

• 11:16Speaker 02

  Never, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:17H. Foley?

  Really?

• 11:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:18Speaker 02

  Not mom and pop shops?

• 11:19Speaker 03

  Never.

• 11:20H. Foley?

  So she was like a proper grifter, like this is it?

• 11:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:23H. Foley?

  No shit?

• 11:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. She did everything. She taught me about the whole walks of life, you know? Because before that, I was like a suburban kid who was like, "Should we?" And she's like, "Fuck them all."

• 11:31H. Foley?

  Holy fuck.

• 11:32Speaker 02

  Whole Foods don't give a fuck about you and your family?

• 11:34Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 11:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:35Speaker 03

  As soon as security comes up, she's just crying, I'm confused. I start talking Estonian. The security is like, "Listen, I don't know."

• 11:43H. Foley?

  And how's your English at the time? Good?

• 11:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's good. It's always been good. I watched Chappelle's Show. I've seen South Park. I know how to say the N-word.

• 11:52Speaker 02

  This kid's a fast learner.

• 11:53Speaker 03

  I know. I have power.

• 11:54Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 11:55H. Foley?

  Kid moves.

• 11:56Speaker 03

  What a great word. What a powerful.

• 11:59Speaker 02

  What is the family life leading up to you being a teenager?

• 12:03H. Foley?

  Yeah, go back then.

• 12:04Speaker 02

  Mom's, mom, dad, brothers, sisters. What's the, what's the howl? What's the child, childhood like?

• 12:09H. Foley?

  What's the, what's the political climate in Estonia when you're born? Is it a democracy?

• 12:13Speaker 03

  I was born the year the Soviet Union collapsed.

• 12:16H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 12:16Speaker 03

  So.

• 12:16Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 12:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, so, so it's like, you get cur- I mean, all this, the doors are open now. So it's like, uh, it's like a crazy time because you're establishing current, I mean-

• 12:26Speaker 02

  Everything. It's like, it's the wild, wild west.

• 12:27Speaker 03

  It's the wild, wild west, you know?

• 12:29H. Foley?

  Lot of mafia, I would assume?

• 12:31Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Everything's going down.

• 12:32H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 12:33Speaker 03

  Shady deals.

• 12:34Speaker 02

  And what did your parents do?

• 12:35Speaker 03

  Uh, never knew my dad, but, uh, it was just my mom-

• 12:40Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 12:40Speaker 03

  And my sister. And you know when people are like, "You didn't have a dad, that's so sad." Dude, when you grow up with a mom and sister, you're drinking Chardonnay, watching-

• 12:47Speaker 02

  It's a nice life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:49H. Foley?

  Ally McBeal, that's crazy.

• 12:52Speaker 03

  Like, how is, everyone's like, "Oh, you missed out on..."

• 12:56Speaker 02

  On what? Getting slapped around?

• 12:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly.

• 12:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, I didn't need that.

• 12:59Speaker 03

  Because I would go to my friend's place and all these weird tensions around the house going, "Dad's drinking."

• 13:03H. Foley?

  Who's this guy?

• 13:04Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 13:05H. Foley?

  What'd your mom do for a living?

• 13:06Speaker 03

  Like, I remember, oh, she was a waitress.

• 13:08H. Foley?

  The mom was a-

• 13:11Speaker 02

  These Estonians are a bunch of gypsies, dude. Just robbing, stealing.

• 13:15H. Foley?

  What was she stealing?

• 13:17Speaker 02

  Everything.

• 13:18Speaker 03

  If you're a waitress.

• 13:20Speaker 02

  Everything.

• 13:20H. Foley?

  Oh, she's grifting off the top.

• 13:22Speaker 03

  Oh, everything.

• 13:22H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 13:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:24H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 13:25Speaker 03

  You go to, you go to hotels, the towels are coming with us.

• 13:28Speaker 02

  He's taking the TV and the yard off the wall, too.

• 13:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, she would sometimes, I remember we went to this one hotel, she would like, she was like, you know, mom's feeling it, yeah, there. This towel's amazing.

• 13:38H. Foley?

  Checking the thread count?

• 13:39Speaker 03

  She, she swapped her towels with our towels, thinking these Mickey Mouse towels are just gonna go into the rotation.

• 13:46Speaker 02

  They'll fall into the system.

• 13:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:48H. Foley?

  Bunch of paper towels hanging over the shower.

• 13:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:51H. Foley?

  Any, any extended family in your area? You, you grew up in a house?

• 13:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:55H. Foley?

  Like a single family home?

• 13:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, we, I had a stepdad at one point when that [BLEEP] moved in.

• 14:02Speaker 03

  This guy wants to watch fucking action movies and the game. I'm like, fuck the game. We're on season five of Ally McBeal. Felicity, felicities on, the baby's dancing.

• 14:10Speaker 02

  I got a bottle of Merlot, fucking, let's go, dude.

• 14:13Speaker 03

  Exactly, I'm like, this, this guy moves in.

• 14:15Speaker 02

  I'm decanting this thing right now.

• 14:16H. Foley?

  Older sister, younger sister?

• 14:18Speaker 03

  Older sister.

• 14:19H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 14:19Speaker 02

  Same dad.

• 14:20H. Foley?

  Same dad.

• 14:21Speaker 02

  As you.

• 14:22H. Foley?

  No.

• 14:24Speaker 03

  This I found out at my mom's funeral.

• 14:26Speaker 02

  No shit.

• 14:26Speaker 03

  But I always had my doubts.

• 14:29H. Foley?

  She's Asian?

• 14:30Speaker 03

  Yeah. I always had my doubts.

• 14:33Speaker 02

  Okay, really?

• 14:34Speaker 03

  Like there was, like there was a point, I remember, I'm a kid, we're watching the TV. Remember when you watched the TV together?

• 14:39Speaker 02

  Sure, that was a thing, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:41Speaker 03

  Right? You know, don't go into your room and fucking watch whatever you want.

• 14:44Speaker 02

  Yeah. Watch it as a family.

• 14:46Speaker 03

  Exactly, and I remember there was a point where like CSI was on, and one of the, one of the investigators says, like a sentence, he, it's, somebody got raped, somebody got murdered, classic CSI.

• 15:03Speaker 02

  I've seen the program, I'm familiar.

• 15:04Speaker 03

  Somebody cut off the pussy, saved it for later in the fridge.

• 15:06Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 15:07Speaker 03

  You know, the classic.

• 15:08Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 15:09Speaker 03

  And the investigator says something, says like a sentence like, oh, if, if both parents have brown eyes, the chances of a brown eyed kid coming out is like 99%. Says something like a sentence like that.

• 15:24H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 15:25Speaker 03

  I'm a kid, I don't know shit about shit. But the tension in our

• 15:29Speaker 02

  Right away.

• 15:29Speaker 03

  Couch.

• 15:31Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 15:31Speaker 03

  Cause my sister, my mom.

• 15:32Speaker 02

  It was like having a dad.

• 15:34Speaker 03

  Have like different color eyes than I do as well. And remember there was just a little tension.

• 15:39Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 15:40Speaker 03

  Biology class maybe four or five years later.

• 15:42Speaker 02

  Learn the recessive genes and stuff.

• 15:43Speaker 03

  I go to my teacher after class and I go, I just wanna ask you a question. So these eyes, you know, and she says that too. And I tell her, I tell her, but my sister, my mom and she, and you know, my teacher's like.

• 15:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:56Speaker 03

  She knows.

• 15:58Speaker 02

  Yeah. And did your, your mom and, obviously your mom know, but did your sister know?

• 16:03Speaker 03

  Of course, she's older. She's like six years older. But there was always shady. But you know, Eastern European families, we're not like the American one where we go up to our parents like, Mom!

• 16:13H. Foley?

  Gotcha.

• 16:14Speaker 03

  What's the story? I don't even know how to bring it up to my, we never, you keep it hush, hush.

• 16:17Speaker 02

  You don't talk about it. Sure.

• 16:18Speaker 03

  You keep it hush, hush. You knew your own business. You take care of your.

• 16:21Speaker 02

  Comes out at the funeral.

• 16:22Speaker 03

  Exactly. The funeral, my grandma comes up with a number, goes, by the way, your dad's alive and it's a different guy. Here you go. Here's the number.

• 16:28H. Foley?

  Get the fuck out of here.

• 16:29Speaker 03

  I get hammered, I go to the open, I call him on stage.

• 16:32Speaker 02

  This is another 10 minutes I got here.

• 16:35Speaker 03

  This guy, and this guy answers, he not interested.

• 16:38Speaker 02

  No. What was it? Hi, this is, I'm your son, Ari?

• 16:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, but he, probably he knows and he lives in Finland. I'm like, I finished. And he, I get, this guy came to Estonia when the Soviet Union collapsed on a holiday from Finland. Bang, the waitress.

• 16:54H. Foley?

  Got his wallet stolen.

• 16:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, went back home. And now this guy's doing theaters yelling, where are you?

• 16:59Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 17:01H. Foley?

  Dad, I'm killing it over here. Kip, Aura Frames.

• 17:05Speaker 02

  Aura Frames, Aura Frames, Aura Frames.

• 17:07H. Foley?

  That's right. The holiday season is upon us, gang. Got Black Friday, got Cyber Monday. We're talking about hot deals over there at Aura Frames. If you're looking for the perfect gift for your mom, for your dad, for your grandma, for your aunts, your uncles.

• 17:19Speaker 02

  The broads love these.

• 17:21H. Foley?

  Love these things.

• 17:22Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 17:22H. Foley?

  Digital frame. You throw it on the counter. They get to upload the pics. They get to stay up to date what the kids are doing. Did he win the soccer game? Did he lose the soccer game? How'd the kid do in the recital? These old folks, they wanna know.

• 17:35Speaker 02

  They wanna stay in touch.

• 17:36H. Foley?

  Aura. Frames has you covered. Easiest shopping season of the century with Aura Frames.

• 17:42Speaker 02

  Yes, Wirecutter called it the best digital photo frame. It's easy to see why. It takes no time to set up and get connected. And you can add the perfect photos and videos yourself from the app. So when you open it up, bada bing bada boom, it's all set up. Oh, my God, how did you get it? You go, listen, you old broad, it's magic.

• 17:58H. Foley?

  And you put a little message in there, too.

• 17:59Speaker 02

  It's great. For a limited time, I've said this, I don't know, 100 times. Every woman in my life has. My mom's got two or three of them. My sister's got them, any, my sister-in-law, everybody. It's, oh, my God, I've seen these. I love these. Right now, for a limited time, visit AuraFrames.com and get $45 off Aura's best-selling Carver Matte Frames by using promo code GARBAGE at checkout. That's Aura, A-U-R-A, Frames.com, promo code GARBAGE. This exclusive Black Friday/Cyber Monday deal is their best of the year, so don't miss out. Terms and conditions apply. Do it.

• 18:32H. Foley?

  Yeah. Gang, this episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Folks, as you know, these are crazy times. A lot of things are going on. You need to talk to somebody, don't sit there and hold it in. I'm somebody that held it in for a long, long time. I've recently started talk therapy and it's starting to help.

• 18:48Speaker 02

  It's helping. As somebody who spends a lot of time with the big man, and I've been pressuring him to do talk therapy, he's finally done it. And it's really, you can see the positive results. You had a session this morning, he came in, he's going, this is it. And you put your best foot forward. It sheds light into this crazy, crazy. And this is a bad season for a lot of people. This is coming into the tough season. Not a lot of daylight. You got all the families, all this kind of stuff, the drinking, the drug, whatever. You gotta get, talk therapy is a great tool. I've been saying it for years.

• 19:16H. Foley?

  And I'll tell you this, if you don't do it for yourself, which you should be doing it for yourself, but doing it for the people around you is something that really got into me. I'm driving everybody crazy, dumping all my problems on everybody. Do that for a therapist, do that to a therapist.

• 19:28Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 19:29H. Foley?

  That's what they're getting paid for.

• 19:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, if you're starting to think, if you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. Like I've always said, it's an easy way to get in the pool. It's a low barrier to entry. You get in, you can sign up, you can message, you can video chat, you can call, whatever is best for you. And let the gratitude flow this season with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/garbage today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com/garbage. Do it.

• 19:51H. Foley?

  Was your sister always nice to you? Like, you guys had a good little crew?

• 19:53Speaker 03

  Of course. Me and my sister, when this [BLEEP] heart stepdad moved in, then things got a bit tense, you know? Then it was kind of like, you don't even think that.

• 20:02Speaker 02

  What age did this happen? The stepdad came in?

• 20:04H. Foley?

  What color were his eyes?

• 20:06Speaker 03

  Like eleven or twelve.

• 20:08Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 20:08Speaker 03

  Also finished, cuz my mom like money.

• 20:11Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 20:11H. Foley?

  This guy did okay.

• 20:12Speaker 03

  This guy, oh, this guy, see, as a, I would never say I have a bad childhood because you can't have everything.

• 20:19Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 20:19Speaker 03

  I remember my stepdad one time telling me like, you wanna hug or you wanna Playstation? I was like.

• 20:24Speaker 02

  Get me them sticks, dawg.

• 20:25Speaker 03

  I was like, get me that extra controller with the fuck, get me the wheel.

• 20:28H. Foley?

  Can't throw in, can't throw in the hug.

• 20:29Speaker 03

  I don't give a fuck if you're not around for Christmas.

• 20:33H. Foley?

  How long did, when did he dip out?

• 20:35Speaker 03

  He, he died when I was like sixteen, seventeen.

• 20:38H. Foley?

  Jesus, what did he pass away from?

• 20:39Speaker 03

  A, a heart attack on his, uh, he did, on his motorbike. So, a beautiful way to go, kinda.

• 20:45Speaker 02

  He had a heart attack while riding a motorcycle?

• 20:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 20:47Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 20:48H. Foley?

  Damn.

• 20:48Speaker 03

  But they also got divorced that, in the era, this is so funny, I remember when I got the, I remember when I got the Playstation, right? And I was, I was telling my stepdad, listen, all these secrets, they're gonna go out unless I get this Playstation.

• 21:00Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 21:01H. Foley?

  Well, what'd you have on him?

• 21:02Speaker 03

  I had everything. I had everything. Plus, I'll make shit up.

• 21:06Speaker 02

  I'll start lying, dawg.

• 21:07H. Foley?

  I didn't realize how evil you were.

• 21:09Speaker 03

  I'll make shit up.

• 21:10Speaker 02

  I like it.

• 21:11Speaker 03

  I'll be like, oh.

• 21:13Speaker 02

  I just got real nervous in here.

• 21:14Speaker 03

  Am I gonna get this Playstation, or I'm gonna tell everybody you're touching me?

• 21:17Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 21:17Speaker 03

  You know, I'm, I'm, I'm getting this Playstation.

• 21:21Speaker 02

  He plays hardball, dude.

• 21:22Speaker 03

  I don't go fuck. I don't go fuck, welcome to the family.

• 21:25H. Foley?

  I gotta tell everybody you're touching me.

• 21:28Speaker 03

  Exactly. You wanna keep this job, I wanna get this Playstation.

• 21:31H. Foley?

  You wanna keep this job.

• 21:33Speaker 03

  I remember we get the Playstation, and then, uh, I tell him, uh, did you guys do this, that you mod chip the Playstation? You would put a chip in there?

• 21:41Speaker 02

  I didn't, but I know, yeah, yeah, I know, yeah.

• 21:42Speaker 03

  So then you can get, for a dollar off the market, you just pick up the, cuz the games were so expensive.

• 21:46Speaker 02

  Games were expensive.

• 21:47Speaker 03

  So I was trying to explain to this, like, you'll save money, I'll save money, you know, this is a deal for both of us.

• 21:50Speaker 02

  Gotta get the mod chip.

• 21:51Speaker 03

  Let's get the mod chip. He tells this, he says this gangster sentence, he goes, if we can afford the Playstation, we can afford the games.

• 21:58Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 21:59H. Foley?

  Boom.

• 22:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:00Speaker 03

  And then you know what happened? He moved out! Now I have this unmodded Playstation.

• 22:06Speaker 02

  Oh fuck.

• 22:07Speaker 03

  My mom's got too big of a house with electric fucking heating.

• 22:10H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 22:10Speaker 03

  Everybody's gotta go back to work.

• 22:12H. Foley?

  Holy shit. Um, how is like the, so you're born as everything changes over?

• 22:18Speaker 03

  Uh huh.

• 22:19H. Foley?

  How long did that process take? Like was it real shitty when it was the Soviet Union and then it got like?

• 22:25Speaker 03

  Oh yeah.

• 22:26H. Foley?

  Westernized?

• 22:26Speaker 03

  Real shitty. But we got lucky because we're a part of the Baltics. It's Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania.

• 22:33H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 22:34Speaker 03

  The less, uh, you could, and this was, you could side, when Soviet Union collapsed, you could side with two. You could go with the Russia people or you could go with the Western world, NATO and all that.

• 22:45H. Foley?

  Right.

• 22:45Speaker 03

  And because we were so close to Finland, Sweden, Norway, all those guys came over, drink our booze, fuck our women.

• 22:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:51Speaker 03

  My mom.

• 22:52Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 22:53Speaker 03

  My mom.

• 22:53Speaker 02

  Okay. I'm picking up on that.

• 22:55H. Foley?

  We heard you.

• 22:56Speaker 02

  I heard you.

• 22:56Speaker 03

  My mom. Dude, my mom's.

• 22:59Speaker 02

  She's a good mom, no?

• 23:00Speaker 03

  Yeah. My friend's mom had such a funny sentence. She was telling me stories about when they were younger and were waitresses and banging all these Finnish businessmen.

• 23:07Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 23:08Speaker 03

  She, she, she said like, me and your mom, you know, it was a fun time, you know? She was like, we would serve tables and then we had the back room where we'd sit on gentlemen's laps.

• 23:16H. Foley?

  Damn.

• 23:17Speaker 03

  What a polite way to say.

• 23:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, what a polite way.

• 23:19H. Foley?

  Holy shit.

• 23:20Speaker 03

  At my mom.

• 23:21Speaker 02

  Jesus.

• 23:22H. Foley?

  You gotta make some money.

• 23:23Speaker 03

  They're fast and loose.

• 23:24Speaker 02

  Is it, is it, I believe, I could be wrong. Is it Estonia where everybody, all the Finnish people go to get their alcohol?

• 23:29Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 23:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 23:30H. Foley?

  So we got all the booze in Finland?

• 23:32Speaker 03

  It's just so expensive.

• 23:32Speaker 02

  It's so expensive so they take a, like a cheap ferry over or something.

• 23:35Speaker 03

  Cheap ferry, it's like a two hour ferry.

• 23:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, and they all, I know a Finnish dude, it was like for our wedding, we always, every, all the big parties, you go, like we go to Delaware.

• 23:42H. Foley?

  Really?

• 23:43Speaker 02

  They go to Estonia and buy their booze.

• 23:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, you guys don't, where, where do you guys go? Yeah, yeah.

• 23:48Speaker 02

  We go to like, I mean, we were, we're from Philadelphia, so it's Delaware was the tax, tax free place where you would go and buy a bunch of booze.

• 23:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly. There's always a place to go.

• 23:56Speaker 02

  There's always a place to go to get cheap booze.

• 23:58H. Foley?

  How were you as a student in school?

• 24:00Speaker 03

  What do you think?

• 24:01H. Foley?

  Growing up? I don't know.

• 24:02Speaker 02

  Threatening your teacher.

• 24:03H. Foley?

  Who knows?

• 24:04Speaker 03

  No, listen, the conversation was banger, like.

• 24:09Speaker 03

  I got expelled almost so many times.

• 24:12Speaker 02

  Really?

• 24:12Speaker 03

  But when I sit down with the principal.

• 24:14Speaker 02

  Riff a little bit, yeah. Hey, wanna get in on his Playstation, you know?

• 24:19Speaker 03

  I literally had a principal who closed the door and then we would just watch karate. Cause his son was a karate guy.

• 24:25Speaker 02

  That's a dude who's trying to fuck ya.

• 24:27Speaker 03

  No, no, no.

• 24:28Speaker 02

  He's not not, dude.

• 24:30Speaker 03

  I mean, I need to stay in school, I'll blow you.

• 24:31Speaker 02

  I'll blow you.

• 24:32H. Foley?

  What were you getting expelled for? Fights?

• 24:34Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 24:34H. Foley?

  Were you a fighter?

• 24:35Speaker 03

  Never a bad kid. Always just, uh...

• 24:38Speaker 02

  Mouth and like...

• 24:39Speaker 03

  I won't...

• 24:40Speaker 02

  Cause in a scene.

• 24:41Speaker 03

  If you tell me 8 a.m. You're not coming. Like I made my mom a deal. I was like, "Mom..."

• 24:48H. Foley?

  Cutting deals on everybody.

• 24:49Speaker 03

  I know. I literally made my...

• 24:50Speaker 02

  They turn into the mob at like 8 over there.

• 24:52Speaker 03

  Cause my mom had to go to Finland to work to put this, uh, to keep this house that now my stepdad bounced on.

• 24:58Speaker 02

  For how long would she go there to work?

• 25:00Speaker 03

  Months on end.

• 25:01Speaker 02

  No shit.

• 25:02Speaker 03

  So why is this gorilla alone? At home?

• 25:04Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 25:05H. Foley?

  Wait, this is without your stepdad? It would just be you and your sister?

• 25:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 25:08H. Foley?

  How old?

• 25:09Speaker 03

  I'm like maybe, buh buh buh buh, 14, 15, 16, 17. This is when this is going down.

• 25:14H. Foley?

  And your sister's 21, whatever, she's still living in the house?

• 25:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly.

• 25:17H. Foley?

  Alright, that's okay, makes sense.

• 25:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, I don't know. The house is, we're good.

• 25:20H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 25:21Speaker 03

  It's a beautiful house and, you know, you know. And mom's not there, so, you know, when you guys watch Home Alone, you're like, "What a dream." I'm like, "Pfft, every day, every day, every day." And I go, "Fuck."

• 25:31Speaker 02

  What the fuck, dude?

• 25:32Speaker 03

  So, I would cut my mom a deal. I would tell my mom, "Listen, I'm not going to school." She's like, "What do you mean?" And I'm like, "Uh, this is not for me."

• 25:38Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 25:39Speaker 03

  She's like, "You gotta go to school." I'm like, "Okay, I got you a deal." I'm not there at 8 a.m., it's just not possible.

• 25:43Speaker 02

  I got too much shit going on here. My schedule's jam-packed, isn't it? I got jerking off, I just figured that out.

• 25:50Speaker 03

  Grand Theft Auto San Andreas is coming out? I'm interested in a girl.

• 25:54Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 25:55Speaker 03

  And also, it's too early. I don't like early stuff. She's like, "Okay." So I cut her a deal. I said, "I'll go to school every..." Cause I was sometimes missing for two weeks straight.

• 26:04Speaker 02

  Just not going. What were you, what was that day? You're just hanging at the house, dicking around?

• 26:09Speaker 03

  Hanging at the house!

• 26:09Speaker 02

  You drinking, smoking, anything?

• 26:10Speaker 03

  No!

• 26:11Speaker 02

  No, just chilling.

• 26:12Speaker 03

  Just chilling.

• 26:13Speaker 02

  Just chilling, dude.

• 26:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's always been like that.

• 26:15Speaker 02

  Hard chilling, yeah.

• 26:16Speaker 03

  Hard chill.

• 26:17Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 26:18Speaker 03

  So I got my mama deal and said, "Okay, I'll go to school every day by eleven at eleven."

• 26:22H. Foley?

  What the fuck does school say about that?

• 26:24Speaker 03

  They didn't like it, but...

• 26:26Speaker 02

  He's got the karate guy, they're gonna end up hanging out.

• 26:29Speaker 03

  It's a public school and rest of the fucking, it was like a, high school was also like, it's mandatory.

• 26:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's most places it's mandatory.

• 26:38Speaker 03

  And they don't want, uh, and the teacher doesn't want to fuck your life up, so you can kinda deal with the teacher. I mean, I'm not causing no fuss, I'll just be here at eleven.

• 26:48H. Foley?

  What classes were you missing?

• 26:50Speaker 03

  All the boredom ones. Cause they always put math and those up front. Dude, I would come for PE.

• 26:56Speaker 02

  He's got the track pants on, he's fucking stretching.

• 26:59Speaker 03

  I would show up for the fun class. English, two English, two PE and then go home.

• 27:03Speaker 02

  Damn. And I'm out. That's not a bad day.

• 27:05H. Foley?

  How would you get to school? Could you walk? Did you have a car?

• 27:08Speaker 03

  No, no, no, two buses and a tram, dude. Cause we lived in the suburbs, but I had to go to the city, cause I couldn't get into the nice suburban schools.

• 27:15Speaker 02

  I'd show up till two o'clock.

• 27:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly. Those schools were like, "What the hell?" See, that's what you gotta do if you don't like school. Go to the school where all the fucking...

• 27:23Speaker 02

  All the bad kids are.

• 27:23Speaker 03

  All the bad kids are, and they just be your normal school.

• 27:26H. Foley?

  Fly under the radar.

• 27:27Speaker 03

  Exactly. Just all you gotta do is not get a girl pregnant.

• 27:30Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 27:30Speaker 03

  You'll be looking good.

• 27:31H. Foley?

  What would you guys do for dinner when your mom was, was gone? Would you and your sister like make dinner? Were you cooking? Were you stealing? What were you doing?

• 27:38Speaker 03

  Whatever you want, dude. Just fucking Candy City, dude. Just steal it, I don't give a fuck.

• 27:45H. Foley?

  And you were big on American telev- big American television over there?

• 27:48Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:49H. Foley?

  Were there any Estonier shows that you watched?

• 27:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, of course there were, but then, fuck, Estonian television is still like, was so influenced by the Soviet.

• 27:58Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 27:59Speaker 03

  So it's still like, um, still like polite, you know? The husband gets home, "Honey, I'm home."

• 28:04H. Foley?

  How would you get the American shows?

• 28:06Speaker 03

  Online, it's only online.

• 28:08H. Foley?

  Only online?

• 28:09Speaker 03

  You gotta go fucking find South Park.

• 28:11H. Foley?

  Wow.

• 28:11Speaker 02

  Ah, damn. What was your first job growing up? Like where you went and not stealing or boosting cars or whatever?

• 28:19H. Foley?

  Did you work when you were a kid?

• 28:20Speaker 03

  No, I never, yeah, yeah, yeah, always. I did construction when I was like fifteen, sixteen. But you know, you're the kid running. I'm not the fucking guy.

• 28:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're holding the ladder.

• 28:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, literally, I'm not even holding the ladder.

• 28:32H. Foley?

  We didn't think you were the architect on the project.

• 28:34Speaker 02

  He's telling, he's telling the formal, listen, I'll show up at eleven.

• 28:36H. Foley?

  I'll cut you a deal.

• 28:37Speaker 02

  That's all I got. I don't do mornings.

• 28:39H. Foley?

  Is this in the summers or were you working during the school, never during the school year?

• 28:42Speaker 03

  Not really, no. Summer, summer, summer job, you know? And I was not a good employee, as you can imagine. Then I went into bar back and bartending because, oh, I was a bouncer at these nightclubs for a bit.

• 28:55H. Foley?

  How old?

• 28:56Speaker 03

  I was eighteen, that's when I started.

• 28:57H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 28:58Speaker 03

  And whenever there would be a fight, go straight to the bathroom for shit, put your robe on. For two, an hour, dude, I would be yelling and screaming out there. I'm not showing up, dude.

• 29:07Speaker 02

  Where the hell's Ari?

• 29:08Speaker 03

  I know, yeah, I was the shittiest security guard.

• 29:12Speaker 02

  He's in the bathroom, train all day, Joe Rogan by night.

• 29:15Speaker 03

  Exactly, literally. God, the fuck? And then I heard all these servers, I would talk all to these waiters and they're like, how much money they're making?

• 29:24Speaker 02

  All the cash, yeah.

• 29:24Speaker 03

  All the cash. And then I was like, jeez, I gotta get into that. And then I did bartending for maybe seven or eight years in nightclubs, restaurants.

• 29:32H. Foley?

  This is all in this, what city did you grow up outside?

• 29:34Speaker 03

  Tallinn, it's in Estonia, like that's the main capital. But I did that in Melbourne. Dude, I worked for a Jamie Oliver restaurant in Melbourne for a month. Because I knew I'm going to only last a month.

• 29:44Speaker 02

  Walking out with cases of lobsters.

• 29:46H. Foley?

  Get why they're getting's good.

• 29:48Speaker 03

  And restaurants always, they always hire, especially in Australia or England and in America, I bet too, because I'm like a blue eyed European. You want to have this guy around, but I would just be like, they're like, what's your qualifications? I'm like, qualifications?

• 30:01Speaker 02

  I like to steal, I like to sleep in.

• 30:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know it all. I would do the shittiest cocktails for forty bucks a cocktail at the finest restaurants. And then for a month, I would just get the bag.

• 30:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:13Speaker 02

  Stealing from the register. Did you ever get caught?

• 30:16Speaker 03

  Yeah! I got caught every, eventually.

• 30:19Speaker 02

  I wasn't sure if he was doing it for a month and then getting the fuck out of there.

• 30:22Speaker 03

  The only places I haven't, uh, it didn't steal, was some of the nightclubs I worked later when I already did comedy. And the bu- owners would be my bosses, they would let me do comedy.

• 30:30Speaker 02

  Sure they would work with you.

• 30:31Speaker 03

  If I always knew the guy, but if the boss is stealing.

• 30:35H. Foley?

  You're stealing.

• 30:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean.

• 30:37Speaker 03

  Like if a boss, if I show up, if I show up for the b- b- b- weekly meeting, and I come the bu- with the bus, and you come with a maserati.

• 30:45Speaker 02

  Sure's a, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:47H. Foley?

  Yeah, but that's the owner of the restaurant. You're a bus boy.

• 30:49Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 30:51H. Foley?

  You, you don't see the difference in that?

• 30:53Speaker 03

  No.

• 30:53H. Foley?

  No.

• 30:54Speaker 03

  Cause.

• 30:55H. Foley?

  What is my maserati?

• 30:56Speaker 02

  He doesn't need to rub that maserati in my face.

• 30:58Speaker 03

  I don't need a maserati, but just like pick me up, you know?

• 31:02Speaker 03

  So if the, if the, if I'm, if I'm cleaning up puke.

• 31:05Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 31:05Speaker 03

  At 3am in the nightclub, and then you come, you get, la, la, la, you get four grand, and I make 5.60 an hour plus tip?

• 31:13Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 31:14Speaker 03

  And you go off with the maserati with the girl I wanna fuck?

• 31:18Speaker 02

  Get robbed.

• 31:19Speaker 03

  It's the, I think it's the deal of the universe.

• 31:21H. Foley?

  You've got a target on your back with this guy.

• 31:24Speaker 03

  It's the deal with the universe.

• 31:25Speaker 02

  Uh-huh.

• 31:25H. Foley?

  Any cops ever get involved? You ever get, get pinched? Close to getting pinched?

• 31:30Speaker 03

  No.

• 31:30H. Foley?

  No?

• 31:31Speaker 03

  No, no pinching happening.

• 31:31H. Foley?

  Alright.

• 31:32Speaker 03

  No pinching happening.

• 31:32H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 31:33Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 31:34H. Foley?

  So then you're doing comedy over in Melbourne, you're with the, you're with the, the lady.

• 31:37Speaker 03

  With the lady.

• 31:38H. Foley?

  You guys are living together. How long are you over there for?

• 31:41Speaker 03

  A year, then my visa expired.

• 31:43H. Foley?

  Okay, and then where do you go?

• 31:44Speaker 02

  And you had to go back to Estonia?

• 31:45Speaker 03

  Then I went to Thailand for a year, and I did all the comedy.

• 31:47Speaker 02

  Jesus Christ, this guy in fucking Thailand.

• 31:48Speaker 03

  I did comedy in Malaysia, Cambodia.

• 31:50H. Foley?

  What the fuck? You in Thailand?

• 31:52Speaker 03

  Dude, I had a set in Cambodia where I'm like doing it for these expats, 20 people in the crowd. One of them was Arish Chaffir randomly.

• 31:58Speaker 02

  No shit, oh yeah, that makes sense. Wow.

• 32:01H. Foley?

  Did she go with you to Thailand, the girl? That was it for her, huh?

• 32:05Speaker 02

  He go, he, if he had not picked it up, he does Thailand solo now. He made that mistake once. Now he does Thailand by himself.

• 32:11H. Foley?

  And where do you live when you're over there? What are you, you're 19, 20?

• 32:15Speaker 03

  Working at, working at hostels, you know, like, uh, you get to stay for free if you do the barrel, which.

• 32:22H. Foley?

  Jesus fucking Christ.

• 32:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, so.

• 32:25H. Foley?

  You're how assassins are made.

• 32:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know.

• 32:27H. Foley?

  That's how you make an assassin.

• 32:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:30H. Foley?

  Jesus. And then, how do you, then, how do you get here?

• 32:33Speaker 03

  Um, my first time I did the Seattle International Comedy Competition, and I lived in Vancouver for a year.

• 32:38Speaker 02

  So you're right there.

• 32:39H. Foley?

  Okay. Alright, so then, after Thailand, you go to Vancouver?

• 32:42Speaker 03

  No, I lived in Estonia, became a superstar there, took over the scene.

• 32:46Speaker 02

  Did you really?

• 32:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:47Speaker 02

  How big were you in Estonia?

• 32:49Speaker 03

  You name it.

• 32:51Speaker 02

  You name it, Baldi.

• 32:52Speaker 03

  But it's a small, it's, it's like being a collegiate athlete.

• 32:55Speaker 02

  I understand.

• 32:56Speaker 03

  You know, you're famous in the college town. It's like a million people. I mean, how famous can you get?

• 33:00Speaker 02

  So you, I didn't, I didn't know that about, I didn't know that about, I didn't know that you had, uh, a proper career in Estonia. So you were doing like theaters there?

• 33:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, no shit.

• 33:09H. Foley?

  Making money.

• 33:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:10H. Foley?

  Doing well. Are you living back at your mom's house?

• 33:12Speaker 03

  Nah.

• 33:13H. Foley?

  You're living in?

• 33:13Speaker 02

  What's that house look like there, when you were doing well?

• 33:16Speaker 03

  Well, I just, no, I mean, American standards are different. You guys make millions of dollars. That's different.

• 33:24Speaker 02

  We don't, but yeah.

• 33:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, I saw you at the Brooklyn Comedy Club five years ago. I remember I met you guys like five years ago for the first time, and it was Brooklyn Comedy Club, two black people in the crowd, and us three. Like, really entertaining, it's just a couple.

• 33:37Speaker 02

  I did ninety minutes.

• 33:38Speaker 03

  Just a couple. Oh, we did long, by the way. All of us did like twenty-five, in our notebook, having a fucking panic attack.

• 33:44Speaker 02

  Fumbling through it. What else, uh?

• 33:46Speaker 03

  And we were heading nowhere. I didn't have a passport, you didn't have this, it was bad. I don't think you had this podcast five years ago, right?

• 33:53Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 33:54H. Foley?

  I don't even remember this.

• 33:55Speaker 02

  I don't remember that either, and it's making me.

• 33:56H. Foley?

  I don't think Brooklyn Comedy Club was around five years ago, was it?

• 33:59Speaker 03

  Old Man Hustle or whatever was the name of that.

• 34:01H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 34:02Speaker 03

  I just remember us three having a full-on panic attack.

• 34:05Speaker 02

  I kind of vaguely remember this now that you're saying it.

• 34:07Speaker 03

  Cause this is going nowhere, you know?

• 34:09Speaker 02

  Sure. How, you're just staring out the abyss. I should have, I was probably talking to you going, I could move to Estonia.

• 34:14Speaker 03

  And I remember.

• 34:15Speaker 02

  I could be the fucking funniest guy in Estonia right now.

• 34:17Speaker 03

  I remember I introduced myself to you. I go, I'm from Estonia. You go, sure.

• 34:20Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no, no, no way.

• 34:22Speaker 03

  Like, you were like, oh, another thing.

• 34:25Speaker 02

  That does not sound, maybe it was.

• 34:27Speaker 03

  Like another thing.

• 34:28Speaker 02

  Well, I apologize.

• 34:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, another thing.

• 34:30H. Foley?

  He's stealing your wallet at the time?

• 34:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:33H. Foley?

  Alright, Jesus Christ, Ari, what the fuck?

• 34:35Speaker 02

  This guy's all over the fucking map, literally.

• 34:37H. Foley?

  So you, how long are you in Estonia where, where you're doing good? Were you, were you the, were you the big star?

• 34:41Speaker 03

  I did like three or four years, but this, uh, it was going well, yeah. We were building a scene. There were some other comedians there. We were all doing great, you know, the scene was building.

• 34:51Speaker 02

  And you got a lot of tourism in the city that you're in, right?

• 34:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, but we're doing it in Estonia still. It's very...

• 34:57Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 34:58Speaker 03

  I have a podcast there. Things are going great, but I just felt like...

• 35:01Speaker 02

  You want more?

• 35:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, I just wanted to do, skill-wise, a bit better, and there's nobody really to follow.

• 35:07Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 35:07Speaker 03

  And I know how British people are gonna get upset by this, but... There's only one place in the world where stand-up comedy is stand-up comedy, and it's the United States.

• 35:19Speaker 02

  Yes, USA, baby.

• 35:21Speaker 03

  Like, the free-form, personality-based storytelling, going for the edge. Like, British comedy is amazing. The jokes are amazing, all that.

• 35:31Speaker 02

  It's very thematic, it's very... Yeah, yeah. It's just a different art, a different style of the art form.

• 35:35Speaker 03

  And in Estonia was similar, because we were influenced by the Soviet... So, the only good thing about communism is they build amazing theaters, you know, because you have to build these theaters for all these public speakers.

• 35:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, Germany's the same.

• 35:46Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 35:46Speaker 02

  It has great theaters.

• 35:47H. Foley?

  Comedy's another way around a sound system, I'll tell you that.

• 35:50Speaker 03

  When you're trying to control, like, your people, what you do is you build the culture, because you have to control the subconscious of your people.

• 35:57Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 35:58Speaker 03

  So then all these remnants of these beautiful theaters... There'd be like a town of 2,000 people in Estonia, the theater's 800 seats.

• 36:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 36:04Speaker 03

  Beautiful.

• 36:05Speaker 02

  All those, all those, like, eastern... Germany is where they all... Every little village has a theater that will fit most of the village.

• 36:12Speaker 03

  That's what slavery and shit does.

• 36:14Speaker 02

  Sure, sure.

• 36:16Speaker 03

  Build me a fucking...

• 36:18Speaker 02

  Just go.

• 36:19H. Foley?

  Best green rooms in the world.

• 36:20Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 36:21Speaker 02

  Give me a thousand, thousand-seater now.

• 36:23Speaker 03

  But there was the remnants of the theater culture, I think also in England. This is just a theory, but I think in England, where comedy's amazing, of course, it's always been a thing from the theaters where the classism has developed a thing where a performer is looked, like, the performer looks down on the crowd and they love it. Like, British people love to think you're a grandiose thing.

• 36:46Speaker 02

  It is. It's more of a presentation. They even call them, like, presenters. It's more of a presentation.

• 36:50Speaker 03

  I think so.

• 36:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:51Speaker 03

  And people love that. People love, like, shit on us, shit in my mouth, you know? Like, whereas, I think America, this is what I think, Richard Pryor, Lenny Bruce, it's all about, fuck them, fuck the system, I'm in with the crowd.

• 37:03Speaker 02

  It's very common man, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's I'm speaking for us, not to you.

• 37:06Speaker 03

  The stage is lower, I'm in, fuck everybody, fuck this, you know, whereas I'm one of you guys, so I think the rebellious comedy where fuck the system and all that, I think it's more from here.

• 37:18H. Foley?

  Right.

• 37:18Speaker 02

  Gotcha. That makes sense.

• 37:19Speaker 03

  Which is what I love, I love that style.

• 37:21H. Foley?

  And when did you land over here?

• 37:24Speaker 03

  Well, officially, I moved here in June, uh, to the, Austin, Texas, Joe Rogan, the one true king.

• 37:32Speaker 02

  Shout out Rogues.

• 37:33Speaker 03

  Shout out, shout out Joe Rogan, my one true king.

• 37:36H. Foley?

  Is that where you moved first? Did you move to Austin? When you came here?

• 37:40Speaker 03

  Yes, I've visited New York a few times, you know, I've tried, I've never just gotten traction, I'm not a big...

• 37:46Speaker 02

  It's tough to get traction in New York. It's very tough. There's so many, there's just so many comments.

• 37:50H. Foley?

  Wait, June of this year? That's when you got here?

• 37:52Speaker 03

  Like, moved here, yeah.

• 37:54H. Foley?

  Okay, when did you do Kill Tony for the first time?

• 37:56Speaker 03

  Um, fuckin', March.

• 38:00H. Foley?

  Pre-mothership?

• 38:01Speaker 03

  March.

• 38:01Speaker 02

  No shit.

• 38:02H. Foley?

  March of this year?

• 38:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, when I did, yes, when I did Kill Tony, I signed up for the open mic at the mothership, and I did so well at the, at the open mic, I got on, like, maybe 10 minutes later, I killed Tony.

• 38:14H. Foley?

  Just randomly you got on?

• 38:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:16H. Foley?

  That's fu- I didn't know this was that quick.

• 38:17Speaker 02

  Because I think the last time we did it, maybe...

• 38:19Speaker 03

  Then I was already...

• 38:20H. Foley?

  Oh, you had ju- you had just popped, yeah.

• 38:21Speaker 02

  You were like a few weeks, and that was in March, maybe.

• 38:24H. Foley?

  When it was us in Norman, and all that, so we were talking about the bear and all that stuff.

• 38:27Speaker 02

  They were like, you had just killed, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Gotcha.

• 38:29H. Foley?

  Holy shit.

• 38:31Speaker 02

  Damn, this kid moves fucking quick and fast.

• 38:32Speaker 03

  I know, it was crazy, it was fast.

• 38:34Speaker 02

  I would've been nicer to you five years ago if I knew. If I knew you were a fucking Estonian fucking royalty.

• 38:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:41H. Foley?

  Holy shit.

• 38:42Speaker 03

  Move fast.

• 38:43Speaker 02

  Goddamn.

• 38:43H. Foley?

  Kebby, this is pretty litter.

• 38:45Speaker 02

  Pretty litter.

• 38:47H. Foley?

  All the kitty cat moms and dads out there, let me tell you something about that pretty litter. It's the best cat litter you're ever gonna have, it's the last cat litter you're ever gonna have, because you're never gonna change brands, because it's absolutely fantastic. Let me tell you why. Let me tell you this whole story. As a sponsor, they sent us over a bag, brought it over, cat absolutely loves it.

• 39:09Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 39:10H. Foley?

  It's light, it doesn't get messy, it lasts long, and it also helps detect there's anything going on in the cat's urine. If they have a bladder infection, if they have a urinary tract infection, the crystals change color so you can keep an eye on your cat's health. Pretty Litter is the best kitty litter on the market. Do yourself a favor, go Pretty Litter.

• 39:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, they got non-clumping formula that traps odor and moisture, it's ultra-absorbent, lightweight, low-dose, one six-pound bag, works for up to a month, baby.

• 39:37H. Foley?

  A month!

• 39:38Speaker 02

  Talk about that. Pretty Litter is amazing, you have to give it a try. Go to prettylitter.com/garbage and save 20% woo on your first order and get a free cat toy. That's prettylitter.com/garbage. Save 20% off your first order and get a free cat toy. Prettylitter.com/garbage. Terms and conditions apply, see the site for details.

• 39:55H. Foley?

  Of course. Cat, let's talk about Soul.

• 39:57Speaker 02

  Ooh, shout out to Soul.

• 39:59H. Foley?

  And I'm not talking about taking the base for a walk, I'm talking about Soul. Out-of-the-Office gummies are perfectly micro-dosed with hemp-derived THC and CBD to give any day that chill on the beach vibe.

• 40:11Speaker 02

  Take the edge off a little bit.

• 40:13H. Foley?

  Sure, I know you're used to going home, you're just having a drink or something like that, don't do that. Get the micro-dose gummies from Soul, we're talking out-of-the-office gummies. Help you relax a little bit after a long day. Why not? We're talking about that warm, fuzzy, euphoric, micro-dose feeling without sending you to the moon.

• 40:29Speaker 02

  Now, you don't want to strap in and put your fucking astronaut helmet on.

• 40:32H. Foley?

  No, you just want to chill out a little bit, something to take the edge off after a long day, and these gummies out of the office, they got you covered.

• 40:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, I gotta be honest with you, they sent us a couple of them, and the boys have been ravaging through the boxes using them. I want them out, they're fighting over them out there.

• 40:47H. Foley?

  Delicious, too.

• 40:47Speaker 02

  Uh, yeah, it's fantastic. Soul was founded five years ago by brother and sister duo, Mike and Angie Lee. Mike is a former world-ranked professional boxer, and Angie is an author and professional speaker who had the desire to create a natural alternative, the medication to tackle problems that they deal with themselves. Sleeplessness, anxiety, focus, pain.

• 41:04H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 41:05Speaker 02

  And that's not all that Soul's got. Whether you're looking for a sleep aid, enhanced focus, pain relief, Soul has all your wellness needs covered. This holiday season, give the gift of Soul. Head to getsoul.com and use the code GARBAGE for 35% off your first order until December 3rd. You gotta act now, 35% off until December 3rd. That's 35% off your order using code GARBAGE. One last time, getsoul.com, code GARBAGE for 35% off, do it.

• 41:29H. Foley?

  Try it out. Where are you living down there? You got a house, you got an apartment?

• 41:35Speaker 03

  The house I got.

• 41:36Speaker 02

  Sick? Cause you're doing well yourself, I mean you're

• 41:39Speaker 03

  I'm doing okay, but But, see this is why

• 41:43Speaker 02

  Are you doing better now, or in Estonia? You probably had more purchasing power in Estonia, no? Like you're like

• 41:48H. Foley?

  He's stealing everything, what are you talking, it doesn't matter!

• 41:51Speaker 02

  He's gonna just leave with these cameras, probably.

• 41:53Speaker 03

  In the, oh yeah, yeah, really. In the Eston- In the Eston-

• 41:57H. Foley?

  He leaves, he got no cameras, and I'm pregnant.

• 41:59Speaker 02

  He's probably already made copies of the keys of my credit card.

• 42:01Speaker 03

  In the Estonian economy, with Estonian prices, I was doing fine, I was doing fine. I think, you, as you know, when you start meeting people in the, in this business, like, who do, like, actual business.

• 42:13Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 42:14Speaker 03

  You know, you think you're doing well in comedy, you're like

• 42:15Speaker 02

  Tim John had a great line, "You never know how much money you don't have until you start making money."

• 42:19Speaker 03

  Sure, exactly.

• 42:20Speaker 02

  You are not wrong.

• 42:22Speaker 03

  Uh, and then, but the American money's different. You make so much mu- Everyone makes so much money.

• 42:30Speaker 02

  I love your perspective, I'm like, crazy.

• 42:32Speaker 03

  And dude, when I went to New Jersey to do these gigs, I walk around New Jersey, I walk around, uh, what is it? Uh, Seacocos?

• 42:38Speaker 02

  East Rutherford and stuff like that.

• 42:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, Rutherford, yeah, yeah.

• 42:42Speaker 02

  I have to imagine being from Estonia and laying, doing bananas in East Rutherford, New Jersey.

• 42:46Speaker 03

  Beautiful!

• 42:46Speaker 02

  Crazy!

• 42:47Speaker 03

  Beautiful houses with a nice lawn and a dog out. And you know how New-

• 42:52Speaker 02

  The American dream!

• 42:52Speaker 03

  And you know how New Yorkers are like, cause I've been to New York for three month stretches, I've done that thing. But you know how New Yorkers are like, it's the best city, you can get a slice of pizza 4 a.m., you can see a movie at 6 a.m. You know shit, your place suck.

• 43:06Speaker 03

  I wouldn't wanna hang out there either.

• 43:07Speaker 02

  Sure, at your apartment, you're saying?

• 43:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:09Speaker 02

  The city has to be open because your apartment suck.

• 43:11Speaker 03

  Or, you know, like, it's so expensive in New York.

• 43:14Speaker 02

  Sure, of course.

• 43:14Speaker 03

  And then you go to New Jersey, same thing in Austin, it's like, the price of the house you can have-

• 43:19Speaker 02

  You get so much more value out of it.

• 43:21Speaker 03

  Dude, I've lived in New York, and I've lived under the, I've lived in a basement apartment.

• 43:25Speaker 02

  Oh, those are the worst in New York.

• 43:26Speaker 03

  Where it's like, domestic violence above you.

• 43:28Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 43:29Speaker 03

  And you're like, what is my life?

• 43:31Speaker 02

  Uh-huh.

• 43:31Speaker 03

  And you're paying-

• 43:32Speaker 02

  Out the ass.

• 43:33Speaker 03

  Out the ass. I don't even have a washing machine.

• 43:38Speaker 02

  He's got that little bit of comedy. I'm fucking, he charges me up when he starts talking.

• 43:42H. Foley?

  I like it.

• 43:43Speaker 03

  It's crazy.

• 43:44H. Foley?

  Did you have money, did you have money saved up in your pocket when you got to Austin in March?

• 43:49Speaker 03

  I mean, I was going on a limb. I was going on a dream.

• 43:51Speaker 02

  You're rolling the dice.

• 43:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was rolling. I can always, I can always just add a 2,000 seater in Estonia. I can always do that.

• 43:56H. Foley?

  Oh, that's true.

• 43:58Speaker 02

  The homecoming tour, the run back real quick.

• 44:01Speaker 03

  But I also, of course, want to do a good show and I have to do it in Estonia. So it was, for me, it's like all in or nothing because I have to learn English. I have to compete with these Ameri- I can't just take three months off to be in Estonia and lose.

• 44:15Speaker 02

  Lose all the ground you're making.

• 44:17Speaker 03

  Everyone's coming, dude. Hey, hey.

• 44:19Speaker 02

  Got to keep the wolves away.

• 44:20Speaker 03

  Hey, American comics, just fucking slow down. Do we all need to make it in a year?

• 44:24Speaker 02

  It's crazy.

• 44:25Speaker 03

  Do we all, every, dude, every day I hang out in the green room at the mothership, some new guy walks in. One million, two million on the follower on Tik. Uh, then they're popular on the Snapchat.

• 44:36Speaker 02

  It gets emotional.

• 44:37Speaker 03

  Exactly. They, every day I meet a new guy who's like, oh yeah, I'm fucking, I'm mad fuckface. And I'm like, oh, and I'm like, I'm looking at him like, oh, get the fuck out of here. Then you go, oh, seven million on Instagram, uh, doing Toyota Center next week.

• 44:51Speaker 02

  Sure. And you're going, late show, still tickets to the late show, bananas or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 44:56H. Foley?

  Where do you move in when you get here? Do you, did you know anybody?

• 45:00Speaker 03

  I knew nothing.

• 45:01Speaker 02

  So did you get up?

• 45:02H. Foley?

  So where'd you stay the first night that you landed in Austin?

• 45:04Speaker 03

  I took a nice Airbnb.

• 45:06Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 45:07Speaker 03

  For a month, you know?

• 45:08Speaker 02

  Airbnb for a month, get your, get your head on straight, figure it out.

• 45:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, but dude, I was swinging for the fences. I was open miking in London. I was, I was going nowhere. Like internationally, it was hard. It's hard to break into this industry.

• 45:19Speaker 02

  It's fucking damn.

• 45:20H. Foley?

  Took you six weeks over here. What are you talking about? First of all, you've done it in two countries.

• 45:24Speaker 03

  I know, I know.

• 45:25Speaker 02

  It's real hard.

• 45:26Speaker 03

  It's so hard.

• 45:28Speaker 02

  No, you're not right. I mean, you're a very hard, you're a very funny guy and a very hard worker, obviously.

• 45:32Speaker 03

  Yes, but everybody's funny here. You could go to Tiny Cup or whatever fucking gig tonight. And eight people in the crowd and there's people swinging for, there's people fif- 15 years in.

• 45:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:43Speaker 03

  Sure. Dude, this business is hell.

• 45:46Speaker 02

  I know, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:47Speaker 03

  This is a tough business.

• 45:48Speaker 02

  It's tough. It's kill or be killed at all, it's all, at every moment, you feel the gun to your head.

• 45:52H. Foley?

  So, you take, you take an Airbnb.

• 45:54Speaker 03

  Uh huh.

• 45:55H. Foley?

  And, and you stay there for a month. Things start to really start moving, and now you rent your own house, or did you buy a house down there?

• 46:02Speaker 03

  No, I am buying it. I'm renting.

• 46:04Speaker 02

  You're renting. Is it apartment, a house, you buy yourself?

• 46:07Speaker 03

  It's a house. It's a house. Buy myself two floors. I have a nice lawn. Uh, my friends come over. I have an extra bedroom for all the comedians.

• 46:13Speaker 02

  Very nice.

• 46:14Speaker 03

  I love when someone's over.

• 46:15H. Foley?

  Do you bring the boys from Astonee over? You bring some of your squad over?

• 46:19Speaker 03

  The squad, dude.

• 46:19H. Foley?

  Oh my.

• 46:20Speaker 03

  I'm like a black.

• 46:21Speaker 02

  Talk about fucking terrorizing. Imagine, imagine that crew rolling.

• 46:24Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, dude. I'm like, I'm like a black comedian, dude. I roll, I roll seven deep.

• 46:29H. Foley?

  Four guys named Igor coming in?

• 46:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're gonna meet my cousin.

• 46:32Speaker 02

  Five dudes, three eyebrows.

• 46:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're gonna meet my friends and don't trust them.

• 46:38Speaker 02

  This is my best friend like a brother to me. Don't look him in the eye.

• 46:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, don't trust this guy.

• 46:44H. Foley?

  Okay, uh, what do you do? So, trying to figure out whether he's garbage or not.

• 46:50Speaker 02

  I can't make a call. It's all, y'all.

• 46:52Speaker 03

  I'm a hundred percent.

• 46:53Speaker 02

  You're not classy. I'll give you that.

• 46:55H. Foley?

  But let's talk about some of the day to day, some of the domesticated stuff.

• 46:58Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 46:59H. Foley?

  Do you furnish the place? Or did you, did you rent this, did you rent at this place unfurnished, right?

• 47:05Speaker 02

  Or furnished?

• 47:06Speaker 03

  I have a backpack with three pairs of pants and seven socks.

• 47:09H. Foley?

  That's it.

• 47:10Speaker 02

  That's what you roll with.

• 47:11H. Foley?

  That's what you roll with. What does your house look like? You have a TV in there? You got a TV?

• 47:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:15Speaker 02

  Where's your TV?

• 47:16Speaker 03

  It comes furnished. I only do furnished, and I don't, I don't even wanna see, you know, when people are like, you get this apartment and then you sign up for the internet?

• 47:24Speaker 02

  You don't want.

• 47:24Speaker 03

  It better be included.

• 47:25Speaker 02

  You want all of that lumped in.

• 47:27H. Foley?

  Wait, hold on a second, man. You're, how long is your lease at this apartment, at this house?

• 47:32Speaker 03

  I haven't opened the email.

• 47:34Speaker 04

  This guy is a assassin.

• 47:35Speaker 02

  He's probably squatting right now.

• 47:37Speaker 03

  I know. I don't do, like, logging into banks. I don't do transfers. I don't do, I know, I'm like.

• 47:43Speaker 02

  Who, who does that for you?

• 47:44H. Foley?

  He's got 10 grand up his ass right now.

• 47:47Speaker 03

  I mean, I do it sometimes, you know, but.

• 47:50H. Foley?

  You like to stay off the grid.

• 47:51Speaker 03

  I, I enjoy that, yeah.

• 47:52Speaker 02

  Alright, what?

• 47:53Speaker 03

  But it's not like I need to be off the grid. I just don't like numbers and I don't like.

• 47:57Speaker 02

  You went to school for banking?

• 47:59Speaker 03

  I tried it.

• 48:00Speaker 02

  I tried.

• 48:00Speaker 03

  Cause I, cause I thought it's gonna, just they're gonna teach me with a bag and that.

• 48:04Speaker 02

  Hey, here's the combination of the safe.

• 48:06Speaker 03

  I literally thought that, yeah, yeah.

• 48:08H. Foley?

  So you rented a furnished apartment?

• 48:10Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 48:10H. Foley?

  That's what you're living in?

• 48:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, okay, you want a suggestion? You wanna sugge- you guys want a suggestion?

• 48:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:16H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 48:16Speaker 02

  School us on something.

• 48:17Speaker 03

  Let me tell you, everybody.

• 48:18H. Foley?

  Kinda be a criminal.

• 48:19Speaker 03

  If you have, if you have some money, see what you do when you move to someplace. You go on Airbnb.

• 48:28Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 48:29Speaker 03

  You find a nice house.

• 48:30Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 48:30H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 48:31Speaker 03

  Then you go to the guy direct.

• 48:33Speaker 02

  Ah, that's how you do it.

• 48:35Speaker 03

  A deal. You go, I'll pay you six months advance.

• 48:38Speaker 02

  Kidnap his kids, tell him he want the place real cheap.

• 48:40Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 48:41Speaker 02

  Yeah. Okay.

• 48:43H. Foley?

  Dude, talk about learning this system, quick.

• 48:46Speaker 02

  Well, that, yeah. That's a great thing about the Eastern Europeans is like, they don't, they go, what are the rules? I'm, I'm gonna, I'm gonna abide by 75% of them. You, you, they, they're very much.

• 48:57H. Foley?

  But let's see if we can work around this for mutual benefit.

• 49:00Speaker 02

  Italians are kinda the same way. Let's cut out the middle and, and do this cash or whatever.

• 49:04Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 49:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 49:05Speaker 03

  I love a cash deal.

• 49:06Speaker 02

  Love a cash deal. What was the one, either in Estonia when you started making money, or I guess here, one stupid purchase where you were like, I didn't need to fucking, was it like a car, a fucking motorcycle?

• 49:17H. Foley?

  Are you blowing the cash on anything?

• 49:18Speaker 02

  Is there anything where you're like, that was fucking stupid?

• 49:20Speaker 03

  I'm not a materialistic person. I like food.

• 49:24H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 49:25Speaker 03

  And I like traveling and I like hotels. I like, I'm a service guy.

• 49:29Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 49:29Speaker 03

  I've never been a nice things guy. You know why I don't like nice things? They give me a panic attack because.

• 49:35H. Foley?

  Someone like you's gonna steal them.

• 49:38Speaker 03

  Because it's gonna get, it's gonna get, I think it's gonna get hurt.

• 49:41Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 49:42Speaker 03

  Like if you buy a new iPhone, I just bought a new iPhone maybe two years ago, like, first time in my.

• 49:46Speaker 02

  That's not a new iPhone.

• 49:47Speaker 03

  I know, I know, no, no, I know. But that time it was new.

• 49:49Speaker 02

  Sure, when you bought it.

• 49:50Speaker 03

  And I've always been a guy, I go, see, like, my old, you know how I bought a old MacBook? You go on, you go on Craigslist, right? There's always these fucking.

• 50:00Speaker 02

  So that's what you're doing. You're like, I need a new computer. You go on Craigslist.

• 50:02Speaker 03

  There's always these rich suburban women. Who are like buying, uh, who are like selling their lap, husbands laptops, their kids laptops. They don't know what the model is.

• 50:12Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 50:12Speaker 03

  So they just put up a picture, they go MacBook. And you can see it's like a newer model. Then you write up, you go, hey. How's that 2014, 20, 128 gigabyte model doing?

• 50:23Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 50:24Speaker 03

  They don't know it's actually the one terabyte 2016 model.

• 50:28Speaker 02

  So you, you tell them, you're like, ah, that's not worth, uh, you know. That's pretty good.

• 50:33Speaker 03

  That's what I used to do.

• 50:34Speaker 02

  Uh-huh.

• 50:35H. Foley?

  Then he bangs him and takes the laptop.

• 50:37Speaker 03

  Then two years ago, I snapped. Cause I've been walking past these beautiful Apple stores. I've never even walked into one. You know with the, when the white and the.

• 50:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, sure.

• 50:44Speaker 03

  Like, uh, all the people are like.

• 50:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What can I do for you today?

• 50:49Speaker 03

  Exactly. And I snapped. This was before I was supposed to do a, uh, when I was doing a theater. I remember I was walking towards the theater and I walked back to the store and I fucking, cause my iPhone was fucking slow, sluggish. I snapped. So when I said, give me everything. Give me the best, give me the best, give me the best. So then I buy this fucking iPhone for 1500 or something.

• 51:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're expensive.

• 51:08Speaker 03

  Whatever the fuck it is. And now for six months, every time I go to an airport, you put it in the box and they handle the box a bit rough.

• 51:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 51:17Speaker 03

  I have a seizure.

• 51:18Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 51:18Speaker 03

  I'll like, I'll kill you if I.

• 51:20Speaker 02

  That's a brand new fucking 2020 iPhone I got there.

• 51:22Speaker 03

  I like dropped this iPhone like a, like a year ago. The show was almost canceled. I was like.

• 51:27Speaker 02

  Dude, this guy's.

• 51:28Speaker 03

  I don't know why.

• 51:28Speaker 02

  You are wound too tightly. You are wound. He, but every, most stories end with, and then I fought off a panic attack.

• 51:35Speaker 03

  When I take this, when I take this watch off, when I take this watch off, put it in the air, uh, box.

• 51:38Speaker 02

  Uh-huh.

• 51:39Speaker 03

  Don't make these things. Don't do this, please. If I see.

• 51:43Speaker 02

  How much was that watch?

• 51:45Speaker 03

  It's not expensive. It's like 500. This is nothing. But it's just, I don't like, I don't like.

• 51:51Speaker 02

  I can't get a fucking read on this dude. He's nuts. He's crazy.

• 51:54Speaker 03

  I can't have expensive things around me. I like expensive things, but if I.

• 51:59Speaker 02

  But you'd rather go to a nice hotel, a nice whatever, and get the experience out of it. What was, what was the last vacation? Or what's the next vacation or vacation you would like to do?

• 52:07Speaker 03

  I always go on vacation. I might go to Mexico next week.

• 52:10Speaker 02

  Really?

• 52:11Speaker 03

  I love like a three day.

• 52:12H. Foley?

  Just on a win, you go down there by yourself?

• 52:14Speaker 03

  By myself at a hotel.

• 52:16Speaker 02

  Nice hotel.

• 52:17Speaker 03

  I'll get hammered by the pool.

• 52:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, you will.

• 52:20H. Foley?

  Look for chicks, hang out, or are you keeping it yourself?

• 52:23Speaker 03

  I look for chicks, never have the courage to talk to them, but you know what?

• 52:27Speaker 02

  I want to come up and talk to you, but I'm having a panic attack right now.

• 52:30Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 52:31Speaker 02

  He starts drowning.

• 52:33Speaker 03

  You know what I like, you know what I like when I'm by the pool with a cocktail?

• 52:36Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 52:37Speaker 03

  And then you know some rich piece of shit husband with, uh, looks like slob of shit.

• 52:41Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 52:41Speaker 03

  Looks like flubber.

• 52:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're describing both of us, but okay.

• 52:44H. Foley?

  Look at me.

• 52:45Speaker 03

  Looks like slob of shit.

• 52:46Speaker 02

  Slob of shit's pretty good.

• 52:48Speaker 03

  And he has one of the hottest wives alive.

• 52:51Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 52:52Speaker 03

  And then the wife looks at me.

• 52:54Speaker 02

  Uh huh, you got your shirt off, you're cut, you're got a cape, yeah, a little tan going.

• 52:58Speaker 03

  I just took, I just did like three laps like I'm Daniel Craig.

• 53:02Speaker 02

  Doing pushups and shit.

• 53:04Speaker 03

  I come out slow.

• 53:04Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 53:06Speaker 03

  And the chick looks at me like if we only had another life.

• 53:09Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 53:10Speaker 03

  And then she goes to her slob of shit husband, then I go in the room check off. That's all I need.

• 53:14H. Foley?

  It's a win-win right there.

• 53:15Speaker 02

  Hey buddy, that's not a bad vacation.

• 53:17Speaker 03

  That's all I need, is your acknowledgement from a female.

• 53:20Speaker 02

  That hey, you're looking pretty good.

• 53:21Speaker 03

  You're looking pretty good, that's enough from me.

• 53:23Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm, now, uh, are you doing a European cut bathing suit, or are you doing an American bathing suit? What's the bathing suit look like?

• 53:31H. Foley?

  Speedo?

• 53:32Speaker 02

  You're doing like-

• 53:32Speaker 03

  I'm going to a Russian bath house today, by the way.

• 53:35Speaker 02

  The one in the East Village? It's a great one.

• 53:37H. Foley?

  Yeah, it's good.

• 53:37Speaker 02

  One of my favorites. What are you doing? You do the Euro cut? You got a good body, I mean, if I had a body like that, I'd be fucking, I'd be rocking a hoagie crusher.

• 53:46Speaker 03

  I'd always have my dick out if I can. You know where I always takes out, pussies out, takes out.

• 53:50Speaker 02

  Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah, very liberal, yeah.

• 53:52Speaker 03

  Very.

• 53:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:53Speaker 03

  I don't get this American thing of like the whole, how's your dick?

• 53:56Speaker 02

  Hey, you don't have my weener.

• 53:59Speaker 03

  I mean, I ain't packing either.

• 54:00H. Foley?

  I wear a suit of armor when I go to the beach.

• 54:01Speaker 03

  I ain't packing either.

• 54:04Speaker 03

  No, always, uh, always a speedo, baby.

• 54:06Speaker 02

  You really?

• 54:10Speaker 02

  This kid's about that life, dude. I like it.

• 54:13Speaker 03

  Dude, a speedo out with the outlines of the cock and the balls.

• 54:18Speaker 02

  Couple Mai Tais or whatever you got going on.

• 54:22Speaker 03

  I got a cocktail and a shaved stomach, you know what I'm saying?

• 54:25Speaker 02

  A shaved stomach.

• 54:26Speaker 03

  Listen, this is as European as it gets.

• 54:30H. Foley?

  Oh my god, alright. Do you like flying up front? You spring for the first class ticket?

• 54:37Speaker 03

  I had my first flight.

• 54:39H. Foley?

  Ever?

• 54:41Speaker 02

  What the hell the fuck did you get here?

• 54:43Speaker 03

  For the first, for the first, for the first.

• 54:44Speaker 02

  For the first class?

• 54:46Speaker 03

  First ever, and it's hard to go back now, of course.

• 54:48Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 54:49Speaker 03

  It's so expensive.

• 54:50H. Foley?

  Sure. But you like a nice hotel?

• 54:52Speaker 03

  I like a nice hotel. I'm trying to, I'm trying to spend more money on those flights, but they're all really expensive. But I like a nice hotel.

• 54:59Speaker 02

  When you do a hotel, do you like two bed, like two queens, or you like a king? Do you like a bed for...

• 55:05Speaker 03

  I love a, I love a king, but sometimes like the hotel here, they give you the double queen. That's fine, too.

• 55:11H. Foley?

  What do you have at the house? Do you have a king at the house?

• 55:14Speaker 03

  It's gotta be so fucking big.

• 55:16H. Foley?

  Big.

• 55:17Speaker 03

  It's gotta be so fucking big.

• 55:18H. Foley?

  And it's somebody else's sheets, it's somebody else, all that stuff came with the, with the house?

• 55:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:24H. Foley?

  The sheets and everything?

• 55:24Speaker 03

  I'll buy a couple of new sheets and leave them there, you know?

• 55:28H. Foley?

  Are you doing, doing the laundry at the, you do your laundry at the house?

• 55:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, I need to get them a laundry machine. I don't want to go to those.

• 55:36H. Foley?

  Right.

• 55:36Speaker 02

  The laundromat you don't like going to, no?

• 55:38Speaker 03

  What?

• 55:39H. Foley?

  Are you cooking at the house? When you're down in Austin and you're in there, you're cooking for yourself?

• 55:43Speaker 03

  I make a killer breakfast.

• 55:44Speaker 02

  Yeah?

• 55:45Speaker 03

  I always do breakfast at home, and then I do, you name it. What do you need?

• 55:50Speaker 02

  We're coming to your, we're staying over, we're in town. We're staying over, you're like, I'm gonna make the Ari Matty classic breakfast.

• 55:56Speaker 03

  Let's say you're a, let's say you're a chick.

• 55:58Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 55:58Speaker 03

  Right, let's say you're a...

• 55:59Speaker 02

  Put a speedo on it, let's start talking.

• 56:01Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 56:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:02Speaker 03

  You're a chick.

• 56:02Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 56:03Speaker 03

  You come over to my place, I make a pasta bolognese for the night.

• 56:06Speaker 02

  Nice.

• 56:07Speaker 03

  Have a great pasta bolognese.

• 56:09Speaker 02

  Yeah. The Europeans love bolognese.

• 56:11H. Foley?

  Recipe stole from a Jamie Oliver restaurant.

• 56:15H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 56:16Speaker 03

  I make you a nice pasta, but make you all sleepy.

• 56:17H. Foley?

  Is this a first date thing?

• 56:18Speaker 02

  Make you all tired.

• 56:21H. Foley?

  Is this a first date situation, or would you have to know her a little bit? Or could this be a first date?

• 56:26Speaker 03

  No, no, this ain't the first.

• 56:28H. Foley?

  No, okay.

• 56:28Speaker 03

  This is the third, fourth.

• 56:30H. Foley?

  Right, got ya.

• 56:32Speaker 02

  You're already familiar with it.

• 56:33H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 56:33Speaker 03

  Exactly. So I make that big bowl of pasta, make you all filled up. That's why I like a girl that eats, you know? I hate chicks that don't eat. You ever been with a chick that doesn't eat? You go on a date?

• 56:45Speaker 02

  No, I haven't.

• 56:45Speaker 03

  You're like, what the fuck are we doing?

• 56:47Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 56:48Speaker 03

  Get everything.

• 56:49H. Foley?

  He's such a scumbag, I love him.

• 56:50Speaker 02

  I love a chick that eats. That's like hillbilly shit.

• 56:53Speaker 03

  I love a chick that sweats when she eats. I love a chick that grabs your plate and cleans it off with her ass. I love a chick that says, are you gonna finish it? That's what I love.

• 57:02H. Foley?

  There you go. So you make a bolognese.

• 57:04Speaker 03

  I make a bolognese, we watch the movie, wake up in the morning.

• 57:07H. Foley?

  We watch the movie.

• 57:08Speaker 03

  I give a shit dick throughout the night, I'm not, I'm nervous.

• 57:11Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 57:13Speaker 03

  It's mediocre, you know?

• 57:17Speaker 03

  And we're both so tired of the pasta.

• 57:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, it's a sleepy meal.

• 57:20Speaker 03

  That's when you're dating in your 30s. By the way, it's happened a lot, where I have a chick over, I put pasta in her fucking mouth, and then we just fall asleep.

• 57:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're both just, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 57:28Speaker 03

  And then we just fall asleep on the couch and have a bad neck.

• 57:32Speaker 02

  The fucking goddamn.

• 57:33H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 57:34Speaker 03

  And then in the morning, if you're a chick. It's gonna be

• 57:40Speaker 03

  a nice

• 57:42Speaker 03

  when you're sleeping out there with your when you're sleeping out there with your titties, I'll wake up early and go

• 57:47Speaker 02

  You sneak out.

• 57:48Speaker 03

  Get a fresh ciabatta.

• 57:51Speaker 02

  You'll pop out to the store, go get something?

• 57:53Speaker 03

  Fresh.

• 57:54Speaker 02

  Fresh.

• 57:55Speaker 03

  I'll bring you a coffee in your bed, and I'll keep you in your bed, you better not come to the fucking kitchen for an hour.

• 57:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:00Speaker 03

  And you're hearing Frank Sinatra playing out there, and you hear me singing.

• 58:03Speaker 02

  This kid's a fucking mover.

• 58:04Speaker 03

  And you hear me singing and shit, and you're like, holy shit. Then I make a Gordon Ramsay style X, it's where you take it, put it on the heat.

• 58:12H. Foley?

  We know him, we know him.

• 58:13Speaker 02

  Take it on, put it off, take it on, put it off.

• 58:15Speaker 03

  You put it off, you put it on the

• 58:16Speaker 02

  You cheeky bastard.

• 58:18Speaker 03

  Apparently he stole that from somebody.

• 58:20Speaker 02

  Really?

• 58:20Speaker 03

  Like a French guy, there's a conspiracy theory among chefs. Among chefs, there's a conspiracy theory. So I make you these eggs. Put a half an avocado that I whip up with some sour cream.

• 58:32Speaker 02

  You whip up the avocado with sour cream?

• 58:35Speaker 03

  Just to add some, just a little sour, you put a sprinkle of sour cream on it.

• 58:37Speaker 02

  That's pretty good.

• 58:38Speaker 03

  Some pepper, you know, keep it natural.

• 58:40Speaker 02

  Foley slipping out of his seat over here, dude.

• 58:43H. Foley?

  Can I have a cigarette?

• 58:44Speaker 03

  I cut a ciabatta, I cut a, I toasted ciabatta, cut it in half, make a nice heart for you.

• 58:49Speaker 02

  A heart? Dude, this fucking guy.

• 58:53Speaker 03

  You're in bed!

• 58:56Speaker 02

  Man.

• 58:56Speaker 03

  You're in bed!

• 58:57Speaker 02

  This guy's a closer.

• 58:59Speaker 03

  I make the tomato, put some balsamic on the, cut cherry tomatoes in half, put some balsamic, just make a nice.

• 59:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, make it look nice. Care, you care.

• 59:07Speaker 03

  Make a nice presentation. If I have the boys over, you're getting two eggs.

• 59:10Speaker 02

  Sure, yeah, what the fuck?

• 59:11Speaker 03

  You're getting two eggs and a lot of bacon. If the boys are over, you're getting two eggs and a lot of bacon, you better shut the fuck up.

• 59:19Speaker 03

  But that's the secret to dating women in their 30s. You can give them shit, they, but if you make an amazing breakfast, they'll love the overall.

• 59:26Speaker 02

  Sex is overrated, okay? As you get older, it's all about the meals.

• 59:31Speaker 03

  I don't want these young chicks that wanna go to the club, I want an old tired slut. I love an old tired slut.

• 59:37Speaker 02

  Someone who's been around the block, he knows.

• 59:38Speaker 03

  She wasn't to do shit. I don't get how these fucking pervs date these young chicks, you know, they wanna do everything. I wanna just a tired slut at the house.

• 59:48Speaker 02

  Somebody can carbo load with me.

• 59:50H. Foley?

  Did you have any pets when you were a kid? Did you guys do pets?

• 59:53Speaker 03

  I had a dog.

• 59:54Speaker 02

  A dog.

• 59:54Speaker 03

  A dog that I was scared of, you know what I'm saying?

• 59:57Speaker 02

  I know where the anxiety comes from.

• 59:58Speaker 03

  You know when you have a German shepherd and you're like, Jesus Christ, I don't wanna go home.

• 1:00:01H. Foley?

  Is it a German shepherd?

• 1:00:03Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, and also dogs are very reflective of your energy, you know, and everybody's a psycho. My, my mom has that Slavic blood, she's yelling, I'm fucking yelling, my sister's crying.

• 1:00:14Speaker 02

  Dog's smoking.

• 1:00:16Speaker 03

  This dog is on edge. Yeah, this dog is fucking naked. Everybody was scared of our dog. Sometimes, you know when kids put like, sometimes, kids wanna fuck with the dog, they put like a.

• 1:00:28Speaker 02

  A sticker on the fence.

• 1:00:30Speaker 03

  You know what mom would do? Open up the gate. Send the German shepherd, all these fucking kids. Rip these kids apart.

• 1:00:41Speaker 02

  Call out the Estonian handshake, dude.

• 1:00:43Speaker 03

  Holy shit.

• 1:00:46Speaker 03

  I got bit, by the way, the first, the first dog I had. You see these scars?

• 1:00:50H. Foley?

  That's a dog bite?

• 1:00:51Speaker 03

  You see these scars? This is a dog going like this. Our dog. So, my stepdad, he's a psycho.

• 1:00:59Speaker 02

  Everybody you've ever mentioned has been a psycho.

• 1:01:01Speaker 03

  The first dog we got, you know, I'm like a little child. And I'm like, I want a dog. And my stepdad's like, sure, I'll get you a dog. You know what dog I stepped at? It's a fucking half wolf from the woods. Like literally.

• 1:01:15Speaker 02

  There's like a, yeah. There's a loose dog.

• 1:01:17Speaker 03

  Saw a wolf in the woods, picked it up and brought it home.

• 1:01:21Speaker 03

  This thing just keeps getting bigger and bigger. And it's a wolf. And I go to pet it when it's sleeping. All over my face, everything fucked up.

• 1:01:30Speaker 02

  How old were you, like 14, something like that?

• 1:01:31Speaker 03

  No, this was like, you know, seven or eight. And rips me apart. We go to the hall, the stitches, everything.

• 1:01:37Speaker 02

  No fucking way.

• 1:01:38Speaker 03

  Rips my face apart, this fucking wolf. And then I tell my stepdad, I'm like, you know, just, the dog, the dog. Next day, my stepdad looks at me and goes, well, it's a wolf, you know?

• 1:01:49Speaker 02

  So you get?

• 1:01:49Speaker 03

  You gotta watch out.

• 1:01:51H. Foley?

  Do you read? Are you reading anything? Do you read books?

• 1:01:53Speaker 03

  After the Kindle came out, I'm big on it.

• 1:01:56Speaker 02

  After I stole a Kindle, sure, I started reading.

• 1:01:58Speaker 03

  The thing with books is, you know, I live in a backpack. I live as if I gotta, I live like Liam Neeson. I gotta go to night.

• 1:02:04Speaker 02

  You gotta go back.

• 1:02:04Speaker 03

  I gotta go to night.

• 1:02:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's got three, he's got three passports in there, a bunch of different currency.

• 1:02:08Speaker 03

  The books were always an issue. And I only read autobiographies. I don't like shit made up.

• 1:02:13Speaker 02

  What are you reading now?

• 1:02:14Speaker 03

  Only autobiographies.

• 1:02:15Speaker 02

  But like, what's the last one you read?

• 1:02:16Speaker 03

  Right now, I read Keith Richards.

• 1:02:18Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:02:18Speaker 03

  I love like autobiographies. The hookers, I love the cocaine. I love the...

• 1:02:23Speaker 02

  The hookers, the hookers.

• 1:02:25Speaker 03

  I love the, when it's like, a lot of creepy stories too, these rock stars.

• 1:02:29H. Foley?

  You wanna hear the rock star life?

• 1:02:30Speaker 03

  These rock stars.

• 1:02:31Speaker 02

  They're, yeah.

• 1:02:32Speaker 03

  You know how they're like, oh.

• 1:02:33Speaker 02

  The 70s was a different time.

• 1:02:34Speaker 03

  A very different time. Apparently, numbers didn't work.

• 1:02:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:39Speaker 03

  Apparently, nobody divided by two and added seven. Apparently, nobody divided by two and added seven that time.

• 1:02:46Speaker 02

  You gotta account for inflation though, you know what I mean?

• 1:02:48Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 1:02:49Speaker 02

  Um, hmm.

• 1:02:50Speaker 03

  And I don't like Harry Potter. I don't like, oh.

• 1:02:53H. Foley?

  Not enough action in that shit.

• 1:02:55Speaker 03

  You know when people are like, oh, have you read the book?

• 1:02:57H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:58Speaker 03

  Harry Potter's like, the owl is in a foggy fucking train stop talking. Get the fuck out of here.

• 1:03:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, give me something real here, dude.

• 1:03:04Speaker 03

  Give me something real. I wanna see James Brom with a lead pipe beating the shit out of his wife. That's the story I wanna read.

• 1:03:10H. Foley?

  What was the first concert you went to? Musical concert when you were a kid? Was it an Estonian act?

• 1:03:15Speaker 02

  It was probably him. He's probably, he probably did a greatest hits tour.

• 1:03:18Speaker 03

  Marilyn Manson.

• 1:03:19Speaker 02

  No shit!

• 1:03:21H. Foley?

  No wonder you're all fucked up.

• 1:03:22Speaker 03

  My sister took me. He was cool.

• 1:03:23Speaker 02

  That would've scared the shit out of me.

• 1:03:25Speaker 03

  Dude, before, before the concert, they show.

• 1:03:28Speaker 02

  He's not listening. You don't have to whisper.

• 1:03:30Speaker 03

  Before the concert, they show, they show video.

• 1:03:33Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 1:03:34Speaker 03

  They show like dead, dead bodies.

• 1:03:36Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 1:03:37Speaker 03

  And they're like, yeah.

• 1:03:37Speaker 02

  How old were you at the time?

• 1:03:38Speaker 03

  Dude, I'm like eleven.

• 1:03:39Speaker 02

  I just got bit by a dog. This is fucked up.

• 1:03:42Speaker 03

  And then they do more spits around us. And then Marilyn Manson comes on. Great show.

• 1:03:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:46Speaker 03

  Great show.

• 1:03:47Speaker 02

  Traumatizing, but great show.

• 1:03:48Speaker 03

  And it's crazy that they show like, yeah, like all the Satanists.

• 1:03:51H. Foley?

  Is this when he was, is this when he was super popular? Like, just when he was banging?

• 1:03:54Speaker 03

  The biggest, the biggest. I think, I think like the song just came out where he did, what is the Matrix Reloaded soundtrack?

• 1:04:00Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, I don't know.

• 1:04:01Speaker 03

  He did like that song, big, big, big, big song.

• 1:04:04H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 1:04:05Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 1:04:05H. Foley?

  Jesus.

• 1:04:06Speaker 02

  I mean.

• 1:04:07Speaker 03

  This guy was huge. And then I saw Metallica. I remember. I'm a big Metallica fan. See Can Destroy?

• 1:04:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:14Speaker 03

  Love of my life.

• 1:04:15H. Foley?

  Those concerts over there are crazy. Those guys play Eastern Europe. They let it fucking hang the fuck out.

• 1:04:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, cuz all those, and all those guys blew up a bit later. You know, like the bands that are.

• 1:04:24H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:25Speaker 03

  You always see that. The bands are like, like Deep Purple right now in Europe.

• 1:04:28H. Foley?

  Ha ha, coming up.

• 1:04:30Speaker 02

  Deep Purple?

• 1:04:31H. Foley?

  Deep Purple's coming up.

• 1:04:32Speaker 02

  What are you listening to now? If you were gonna go to a concert, what was the last concert you went to?

• 1:04:35Speaker 03

  Well, I like techno. I'm European.

• 1:04:37Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:04:37Speaker 03

  You gotta get it poppin'.

• 1:04:38Speaker 02

  You're doing like the.

• 1:04:39Speaker 03

  I don't like American. The green rooms, some here, the comedians, when they put on like Mr. Kendrick Lamar. The last thing I wanna hear is a lot of information.

• 1:04:49Speaker 02

  Sure, that's a great way to put that.

• 1:04:51Speaker 03

  Rap has too much information, dude.

• 1:04:55Speaker 02

  A lot of thinking.

• 1:04:56Speaker 03

  That's why I'm not opposed to Drake. Just keep it poppin'.

• 1:05:00Speaker 02

  Give me something I can bob my head to.

• 1:05:02Speaker 03

  I don't wanna hear a lot of like, history about the black culture. I, you know, it's hard.

• 1:05:07H. Foley?

  You want the energy up.

• 1:05:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't wanna think. I'm vibin'.

• 1:05:11Speaker 02

  You're vibin'. Give you a lot of bass.

• 1:05:13Speaker 03

  I like Pink Floyd, I like Pink Floyd.

• 1:05:15Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:05:15Speaker 03

  If I listen to the whole album, you know.

• 1:05:17H. Foley?

  You like Sinatra, you said?

• 1:05:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, when I'm in, the more nothing gets you going like Sinatra. And also, I love the whole story. Piece of shit husband hits his wife, but then an amazing.

• 1:05:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, taking turn boys, boys of showman.

• 1:05:29Speaker 03

  I love that, like, James Brown was like that. I'm a big fan. I always liked the duality. I always liked, uh, the duality in art.

• 1:05:37H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 1:05:38Speaker 02

  I mean, I mean, yeah. He's fucking trash, for sure. Eastern European trash.

• 1:05:44Speaker 03

  Frankie Valli.

• 1:05:44H. Foley?

  You like Frankie?

• 1:05:45Speaker 02

  He's, he's, he's, he's still banging, he's still doing.

• 1:05:48Speaker 03

  I know, it's crazy.

• 1:05:49Speaker 02

  Dude, those videos are.

• 1:05:50Speaker 03

  Oh, those, oh, have you seen those? Have you seen the video where he's like?

• 1:05:54Speaker 02

  He doesn't know where he's.

• 1:05:55H. Foley?

  Phone in and in.

• 1:05:56Speaker 03

  Mike Tyson.

• 1:05:59Speaker 02

  He looks animatronic when he comes out.

• 1:06:00Speaker 03

  I know, it's crazy.

• 1:06:02Speaker 02

  It's always like a reveal too, like someone steps aside.

• 1:06:04Speaker 03

  I know, yeah.

• 1:06:05Speaker 02

  It looks like he just shit his pants.

• 1:06:07Speaker 03

  I can't wait to be that.

• 1:06:10Speaker 02

  In a stony and killing it. We're gonna be wheeling you out in a stony in like 2055.

• 1:06:14Speaker 03

  We'll get the fuck out and make some money.

• 1:06:16H. Foley?

  Oh my god. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Ari Matty.

• 1:06:19Speaker 02

  Oh, buddy.

• 1:06:19H. Foley?

  What a fucking tale, what a story.

• 1:06:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, fantastic.

• 1:06:23H. Foley?

  What a comedian, very funny stuff, buddy. You're a hundred percent garbage.

• 1:06:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I steal, I lie. If something happens, I won't give you the full story.

• 1:06:33H. Foley?

  Do you steal now? Like, will you take something from the airport, like a candy bar?

• 1:06:37Speaker 02

  Most comics steal from you.

• 1:06:37H. Foley?

  You're not doing that little shit, are ya? Sure he is, okay.

• 1:06:41Speaker 03

  It's a nice pen.

• 1:06:42Speaker 02

  It's a nice pen.

• 1:06:43H. Foley?

  It's a nice pen? You like pens?

• 1:06:46Speaker 02

  He can stab you in the neck if he needs it.

• 1:06:48Speaker 03

  That you can like write, cause I'm.

• 1:06:49H. Foley?

  Where do you have to steal a pen from?

• 1:06:51Speaker 03

  I don't have to steal, but if I see a nice pen with the ink going, flowing out smoothly. You know when somebody lends you a pen and you write with it and you're like, this feels amazing?

• 1:06:59H. Foley?

  You're keeping it.

• 1:07:01Speaker 02

  Oh, hey, I forgot.

• 1:07:02H. Foley?

  Are you a credit card guy?

• 1:07:03Speaker 03

  Oh, I forgot.

• 1:07:04H. Foley?

  Are you a credit card guy? Do you have credit cards, like American Express and all that kinda stuff? He's gonna show me.

• 1:07:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:11Speaker 03

  I have a Mickey Mouse card.

• 1:07:12Speaker 02

  Nah, let me see. He really does have a fucking Mickey Mouse.

• 1:07:17Speaker 03

  You know what?

• 1:07:17Speaker 02

  Disney card.

• 1:07:18Speaker 03

  You know what my theory was when I went to Chase?

• 1:07:20Speaker 02

  How bad of a guy can he be? He's got a Mickey Mouse card! Hey, you wanna look like a pedophile real quick?

• 1:07:25Speaker 03

  You know what my theory is? If I forget it somewhere.

• 1:07:28Speaker 02

  Ah, you can just say the Mickey Mouse, it's got a Mickey Mouse on it.

• 1:07:31Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no. Let's say I leave it on the table. And some guy, you know how some comedians are like, look at this card and it's planted with gold?

• 1:07:39Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:07:42Speaker 03

  Of course it's gonna get stolen.

• 1:07:43Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:07:44Speaker 03

  But if you see a Mickey Mouse card. And you look, Ari, Mickey Mouse card, you're like, this is a fourteen year old-

• 1:07:48Speaker 02

  This guy doesn't have any money.

• 1:07:49Speaker 03

  This is a fourteen year old kid.

• 1:07:50Speaker 02

  Uh-huh.

• 1:07:51Speaker 03

  What am I gonna do? Let's return the card. That's my theory.

• 1:07:53H. Foley?

  Man, you got the fucking angles covered, dude. It's insane.

• 1:07:57Speaker 02

  That's a level of insanity that I respect.

• 1:08:01H. Foley?

  He plays offense and defense.

• 1:08:04Speaker 02

  Oh, John.

• 1:08:05H. Foley?

  Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Ari Matty.

• 1:08:07Speaker 02

  Thank you, brother. Fantastic.

• 1:08:08H. Foley?

  What do you got coming up, buddy? Let the folks know.

• 1:08:10Speaker 02

  Plug dates, plug what? Uh, this week.

• 1:08:12H. Foley?

  Yeah, this week.

• 1:08:13Speaker 03

  I have Zany's in Nashville on, uh, twenty-nine and thirty. Never done Zany's Nashville.

• 1:08:18Speaker 02

  It's a great club. It's fantastic.

• 1:08:19Speaker 03

  That's why I'm here.

• 1:08:20Speaker 02

  We got a lot of people down there. Go out, check, check out Ari. He's a fuck, Ari, Ari, he's a fucking killer.

• 1:08:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, let's celebrate the Indians now.

• 1:08:27Speaker 02

  It's more of like, uh, "We Came Together", I think, was the PR spin on it.

• 1:08:31Speaker 03

  But I heard it's like the Mr., uh, the guy with the sword. Columbus.

• 1:08:36Speaker 02

  Mr. Columbus.

• 1:08:37H. Foley?

  The guy with the sword.

• 1:08:39Speaker 03

  Because when I Google Columbus, things come up.

• 1:08:42Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:08:43H. Foley?

  That aren't great.

• 1:08:43Speaker 02

  That aren't great.

• 1:08:44H. Foley?

  Of course. Do you like, uh, do you like, uh?

• 1:08:47Speaker 02

  American Thanksgiving?

• 1:08:49H. Foley?

  Yeah, you big?

• 1:08:49Speaker 03

  First time, I mean, I don't know.

• 1:08:51H. Foley?

  Do you like?

• 1:08:51Speaker 03

  I had my first Halloween.

• 1:08:53H. Foley?

  What'd you think of that?

• 1:08:54Speaker 03

  Wow!

• 1:08:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, I can just picture him out trick or treating.

• 1:08:57Speaker 03

  Holy shit. Also, hey. Halloween, if you dress, if you do the thing, don't be like too scary. Some of these guys, full realistic zombie. I can't have a conversation with you. I'm scared.

• 1:09:11Speaker 02

  I'm hot and flashback to the Marilyn Manson concert.

• 1:09:15Speaker 03

  I love American women with the Halloween. It's just an excuse to be a whore!

• 1:09:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:21H. Foley?

  Picked up on that quick.

• 1:09:22Speaker 03

  With the titties out, sure, you're a cat. I love it. You're a cat.

• 1:09:26H. Foley?

  We gotta have you back. Once you get a full year of like all the holidays and all that stuff.

• 1:09:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:31Speaker 03

  Oh, man.

• 1:09:32H. Foley?

  You're gonna like Thanksgiving, it's a nice meal. You like turkey, mashed potatoes?

• 1:09:35Speaker 03

  That's why I love America, you guys have traditions. You sit down, you listen to your grandmother. Like, I love that shit, yeah. You guys sit down, can't wait for Christmas here. Cause I already see the things out.

• 1:09:48Speaker 02

  That's all, yeah, they get after it early.

• 1:09:50H. Foley?

  You do Christmas in Estonia, where you guys?

• 1:09:52Speaker 03

  We do Christmas, but nothing, nothing like American, fucking, the culture of spending money.

• 1:09:59H. Foley?

  Will you get a tree for the house down in Austin? Will you put up a Christmas tree?

• 1:10:03Speaker 03

  Maybe I should, huh?

• 1:10:03Speaker 02

  I think it would be great.

• 1:10:04H. Foley?

  Decorate the place.

• 1:10:05Speaker 03

  I've always been like a little piece of shit.

• 1:10:07Speaker 02

  Nah, do it, it's fun. You get involved, invite the girl over, do some bonafides.

• 1:10:11Speaker 03

  Do you guys have wives?

• 1:10:11Speaker 02

  I have a wife.

• 1:10:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, amazing, see. This is what I need to get. I need to get, I'm thirty-two years old, I'm always alone in my little basements and shit, always hiding from people, never met.

• 1:10:21Speaker 02

  I still do that now, but I'm just married when I do it.

• 1:10:23Speaker 03

  I just, do you have kids?

• 1:10:25Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:10:25Speaker 03

  Please have kids.

• 1:10:26Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:10:27Speaker 03

  Whenever I hear a comedian have a kid, I'm like, thank god somebody's out there.

• 1:10:30Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:10:31Speaker 03

  You guys would seem like great dads, huh?

• 1:10:32Speaker 02

  I think so, yeah.

• 1:10:34Speaker 03

  You guys are like nice guys, you have a nice smile.

• 1:10:36Speaker 02

  That's the thing with like a comedian, when a comedian has a kid, you're like, you're having a kid? It's like, yeah, I'm thirty-seven years old, like, everybody else had kids at twenty-two, you know what I mean?

• 1:10:43Speaker 03

  I know.

• 1:10:44Speaker 02

  We just were such children.

• 1:10:45Speaker 03

  Isn't it the best, when you have friends who are your age and they got the kid out, they got the kid out.

• 1:10:49Speaker 02

  Dude, I have, I have friends who have kids that are eighteen. Ain't done. Done child support, it's a rap.

• 1:10:56Speaker 03

  Rap, and now you have a guy who picks you up when you're hammered from the airport, you have a slave. And you just be shitfaced, I love, yeah, I have friends too who are in their life, and you hang out with the kid. Dude, I have, I have a friend who was, used to be my drug dealer, sell me weed, now his kid sold me weed.

• 1:11:14Speaker 02

  Family business.

• 1:11:15Speaker 03

  And I hang out with the kid on the couch, smoking weed like I used to.

• 1:11:20Speaker 02

  With him, with his dad.

• 1:11:22Speaker 03

  His timing is similar to his dad, and I give the riff.

• 1:11:25Speaker 02

  Maybe you're just really high, dude.

• 1:11:26Speaker 03

  And the riffs we used to have, I now give him, and he's laughing like his dad laughed. Kinda makes you feel like a fucking loser.

• 1:11:35Speaker 02

  You don't look the best in that, dude.

• 1:11:37Speaker 03

  To be honest, but this, and now I.

• 1:11:40H. Foley?

  You're serving him the heart-shaped tobata?

• 1:11:42Speaker 03

  And I wish I just, now I wish I, I wish some girl would just come out and be like, remember you fucking nutted in me when I-

• 1:11:48H. Foley?

  Oh, if you have a kid that pops up.

• 1:11:50Speaker 03

  Imma, when I was like, Imma, and I, and now he's like a person. I don't have to like the diapers and shit.

• 1:11:56H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 1:11:56Speaker 03

  Now he's just a dude who's mad at me.

• 1:11:59Speaker 02

  He's gonna call you on stage one day.

• 1:12:00Speaker 03

  But he'll forgive, he'll forgive.

• 1:12:01H. Foley?

  Would you move him into the house?

• 1:12:03Speaker 03

  No, you're moving straight in.

• 1:12:04H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 1:12:05Speaker 03

  But you gotta be like, don't shit your pants around me. That's my kid. Don't shit your pants.

• 1:12:09H. Foley?

  He's 18, I think that's over.

• 1:12:10Speaker 03

  And don't ask stupid questions like, why is the sky blue?

• 1:12:11H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 1:12:12Speaker 03

  I need a fucking 16 year old guy who knows how to swing for the fences.

• 1:12:16H. Foley?

  Smoke weed. Ah, Kippee, what do you got for him?

• 1:12:19Speaker 02

  Uh, guys, we're off the road for a little while. Check out the AYG and Friends up on the YouTube channel. We're dropping those every month. They're a good frickin' time and we love yous.

• 1:12:26H. Foley?

  We love you, Ari. What a fun one, buddy. We love you. Welcome back anytime. Congrats on everything.

• 1:12:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, man, you're killing it.

• 1:12:32H. Foley?

  Alright, you're killing it. Gang, we love you and we'll see you next week.

• 1:12:34Speaker 03

  See you next week.