845. Q&AF: Handling Distractions, How To Let Go & Reinvesting As A Business Owner

On today's episode, Andy answers your questions on what is the best way to handle distractions when working on your goals, how to let go of relationships that no longer serve you, and how to learn the best techniques to reinvest in your business as the owner and operator to make it big long term.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:16Andy Frisella?

  What is up guys? It's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today, as always, we have Q and A. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. Now, you could submit your questions a few different ways. The first way is, guys, email these questions in to [email protected]. Or you go on YouTube on the Q and A episodes, drop your question in the comments and we will choose some from there as well. Now, this is your first time listening. We have shows within the show, all right? Today, we're gonna have Q and A. That's so we could start the week out, get better, get some good momentum. But tomorrow, we're gonna have CTI. That stands for Cruise the

• 1:01Andy Frisella?

  Internet. That's where we put topics of the day up on the screen. We speculate on what's true and what's not true. And then we talk about how we, the people, have to solve these problems going on in the world. Sometimes, we're gonna have real talk. Real talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk, all right? Some might call it a rant, but it's all about making you better. And then we have 75 Hard Verses. If you're unfamiliar with 75 Hard, it is the most famous mental toughness transformation program in history. You can get it for free at episode 208 on the audio feed only. 208, audio feed only, anywhere you can get a podcast. Now, if you're unfamiliar with 75 Hard, it's the initial phase of the Live Hard

• 1:45Andy Frisella?

  program, which is also available in its entirety at episode 208 on the audio feed. There's also a book. The book is called The Book on Mental Toughness. You can get it at andyfrisella.com. It's not required. Like I said, the entire program is free. You get it episode 208 on the audio feed, but the book is very, very strong. It includes the entire lift hard program, up and down, left and right, all the nuts and bolts. If you're somebody who really likes to know the in-depth details of things like I am, I'd highly recommend the book. It also has a ton of extra content on mental toughness, what it is, how to develop it, and why it's important to your life. Again, that's at andyfrisella.com.

• 2:27Andy Frisella?

  It's called The Book on Mental Toughness. We do things a little different here. We don't run ads on the show. Okay. And I ask very simply because we are the biggest show in the world that does not run ads. They help us grow the show. All right. The show makes you think, if it makes you laugh, it gives you a new perspective, if it teaches you something, please help us grow the show. Don't be a hoe. Show the show. All right. What's up, dude? How's it going? Good. How are you? Yeah, man, I'm all right. Hurting a little bit. But yeah, you've been training again. Been training back on the wagon. Yeah. What's up with that? Oh, you know, I mean, real talk, real talk. I mean, Trying to get made fun of? That's one. Yeah. Yeah. My dot, my dot's not very nice. And the internet? Internet's fine. Yeah. Cause I just talk shit back to them. There's not much I can do with my dot.

• 3:11Andy Frisella?

  I know when you go home at night, it hurts your feelings. You cuddle up in the bottom of the shower. You know what I'm saying? Well, no, man, honestly, like really what it was, I just know that like this year, bro, we got a lot of shit going on this year. Lot of, lot of shit to, to, to really like, you know, build and grow and develop. And so it's like, I gotta be at my best. Yeah, that's right. That's just real shit. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, you know, I know I've been dibbling, dabbling here and there, but I'm doing good, man. Killed legs today. Good. Crushed it and, uh, you know, keeping it moving. Good. Maybe you'll be able to fit in some of that bison gear we're getting ready to release. That'd be nice. On Wednesday night. That'd be, that'd be. At seven o'clock. You know, I haven't been asked. I like that drop.

• 3:50Andy Frisella?

  See, that's not an ad. That's just called talking about it. By the way, guys, there is a Bison Gear Real American Freedom Gear drop this Wednesday at 7:00 PM. We got some really, really, really cool shit. I would highly recommend being on the page at 7:00 as we usually do sell out pretty fast. So again, 7 o'clock this Wednesday, new Real American Freedom Gear drop. That DJ is now going to be able to fit in.

• 4:16Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah. I can fit in it now. No, man. Yeah, no, it's going good though, man. How you doing?

• 4:22Andy Frisella?

  Good.

• 4:22Speaker 01

  You all right?

• 4:23Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 4:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:24Andy Frisella?

  Good, man. I'm excited. I'm also excited about what we have going on this year. I'm very, very excited about the new MFCEO project. A lot of people have been asking about it and they think that I'm just releasing the old episodes.

• 4:39Speaker 01

  Is that what really what they think?

• 4:40Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, some people think that. Guys, the old episodes have always been available. They're free and they'll always be free.

• 4:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:45Andy Frisella?

  Okay, I always wanted to provide a gateway for someone who's starting out from scratch and, you know, can't afford to, you know, go out and join RTA or whatever, right? So they're always there. They're always for free. If you go all the way down in the Real AF Audio feed, this is before we were on YouTube, you will find the MFCEO project, which was the most popular entrepreneur podcast in the world when we were doing it. So, and it was number one in all shows for a long time, not just business. So if you want to, you go listen to that now. But the new MFCEO is not the old MFCEO. It is completely different. All right?

• 5:28Andy Frisella?

  One of the biggest differences is, is that a lot of people who have come up, I guess, since then, started listening to MFCEO and now own, you know, seven, eight, nine-figure companies. And they're going to be coming on the show and talking about how they use the principles, which principles they used to build the companies that they've built. So a lot of you young bucks in business can see and hear and understand that these things work. Another thing that we're going to be doing is having some of my most successful friends come in and talk about how they do things. So this isn't like typical internet fucking coach shit. This is real people who have done real things outside of just creating a coaching business.

• 6:13Andy Frisella?

  That are going to teach you how to win and it's never been more important that you guys go out and win than it is right now. We have a big problem in our culture where winning has been villainized, winning has been attacked. It has been looked down upon and the fact of the matter is that's all about societal control. And we have to understand that if we want to be truly free and we want to live in the greatest society that we can. We have a duty to be the best that we can in all areas and that includes being successful. It's not just about driving a Bugatti or driving a Ferrari and living in a nice house. I'll be the first one to admit that's badass shit. I love it, but it's actually about us as individuals.

• 6:57Andy Frisella?

  Understanding that we have to be the example. We have to extract every single ounce of potential out of our lives.

• 7:09Andy Frisella?

  And not just for us and our families, but for everybody else around us in the community. So I am very excited. Uh, we've been recording shows for quite some time. And I'm very excited to get that launch, bro. Like it's going to be, I, since we've been recording the shows. I've started to realize how much I enjoy talking about success, business, entrepreneurship, personal development.

• 7:33Andy Frisella?

  And really helping people get the ball rolling in that direction. You know what I'm saying?

• 7:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know there's a lot of people hungry for it.

• 7:39Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, bro. And I, I think, you know, with the emergence, the last few years of the entire community of fucktards, uh, that have come out of nowhere to sell programs when they haven't done anything ever. Somebody has to come out and teach people what it really looks like.

• 7:58Speaker 01

  Who's actually done it.

• 7:59Andy Frisella?

  Yes. So I'm excited about it. Uh, it's going to be, it's going to be awesome. And that's going to be launching in the next couple of weeks. So if you are interested in a new MFCEO project, like a lot of you guys are, uh, first off, we are going to continue real AF the exact same way that we've been doing it. So it's not going away. And secondly, for you to know when the MFCO project drops, you have to go to my website and get on the Andy Graham email list, okay? Uh, just go in there, sign up for the Andy Graham. It's a daily post that we write. You come in, it's a little inspiration, a little personal development, little, little life advice that we do every morning, comes right to your computer. We don't spam you, we don't fucking send you 75 emails a day.

• 8:44Andy Frisella?

  I don't fucking pitch you on a bunch of shit. I hate that shit too. But if you want to be aware of when this happens, you need to go register for the email because uh, that's the only way we're going to talk about. I'm not going to be pumping it here on the show. I'm not going to be talking about it on my social. I'm just going to put it out there and you guys are going to do with it what you want.

• 9:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, hell yeah, man. Hell yeah, well guys, it is Monday.

• 9:08Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 9:08Speaker 01

  Let's make some people better today. Let's, let's do it, guys. Andy, I got three good ones for you. So let's knock these out. Um, guys, any question? Number one, Andy, I appreciate all you do. I know you have probably heard that a thousand times by now, but I really do. Um, I found your content like a year and a half ago and it's amazing. I have a question for you about distractions. Uh, I'm 24, just finished up law school. I have no idea how, but nevertheless, I'm entering the real world and I feel like everything around me is nothing but distractions. How did you handle and view distractions early on in life versus how you handle and view them now? Distractions, I mean, we just talked about having a lot of shit going on, a lot of noise out there.

• 9:52Andy Frisella?

  Well, first of all, what do you mean you don't know how you got through law school? You showed up, you did the work and now you got through it, just like you're going to do anything in life. Okay? So don't take away the achievements by trying to pretend like you're, a lot of you guys fuck yourselves because you talk bad about yourselves and you say, I don't know how I did that, but I got through it. Ha, ha, ha. Listen dude, every time you say negative things about yourself, every time you uh, you know, subtract from what your actual achievements are, you are taking away your own belief. In yourself. There is nothing wrong with saying, hey, I just got through law school. I graduated. It was tough, but I got through it and I did a good job.

• 10:36Andy Frisella?

  Acknowledge that, bro. That's a hard thing. A lot of people can't do that. You should be happy about that. Don't act like, oh, I don't know how. You know exactly how. You showed up, you did the work and now you're fucking done with it and now you're ready to do something else. So I, I gotta address that right up.

• 10:50Speaker 01

  That's real.

• 10:51Andy Frisella?

  A lot of you fuckers, you buy into this humble bullshit and you take away every bit of confidence and self-belief. Because you downplay your actual achievements. And of course, there's people that overplay their achievements, but it's usually losers that do that. Okay, you're winning. Acknowledge that you're winning. Acknowledge what you did to win and keep doing that. I hate when people talk bad about themselves.

• 11:15Speaker 01

  That's real, bro.

• 11:16Andy Frisella?

  Bro, I couldn't get through fucking law school. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's a massive fucking achievement, dude. I, I just don't do that.

• 11:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:23Andy Frisella?

  It's bad for you.

• 11:24Speaker 01

  Well, people think it's everybody else is gonna take your confidence away.

• 11:27Andy Frisella?

  Bro, no, it's you. That's it, dude. You are the one that takes away that shit because society programs all of us to uh, be self-deprecating and fucking overly humble and take away our achievements and act like we're not, dude, no. You're a badass motherfucker. You just got through law school. That's fucking awesome. Congratulations, by the way. I'd give you a fucking hug if you were right here, okay? So, that, that's first. That's first. Now, how do we handle distractions? All right, look, man.

• 12:02Andy Frisella?

  We're always going to have things that are outside of what we are pursuing in our professional life. Not all of those things are distractions. Some of them are just life. Okay, so we have to determine what is a distraction and what isn't a distraction. For example, having a significant other in a relationship.

• 12:27Andy Frisella?

  Can be a distraction, or it can be something that benefits you if you have the right partner. A lot of people will say, "I can't have a significant other," or "I can't go play sports," or "I can't do this because that's one minute away from my goals." Well, listen dude, if you are that concerned about living your life, and it takes away from this thing that you're doing, what will happen is, first of all, you will burn out and you will get tired. Second of all, you don't need to live a draconian life in order to be successful. Third of all, you're going to miss out on a bunch of things. And fourth of all, it's completely unnecessary.

• 13:10Andy Frisella?

  All right, we just have to determine if it is or isn't taking away from productive action. So, the actual way to deal with distractions is to understand if it's a distraction or a benefit. Just because something's in your life doesn't mean that it's a distraction. So, you need to work to eliminate the things that are pulling you back, or pulling you away, or, you know, keeping you from doing what you want to do,

• 13:39Andy Frisella?

  and the things that are propelling you forward. Okay, you need to have as many of those things as you can outside of what it is you're trying to do. And you need to have the least amount of things that hold you back. All right, and a lot of people think that everything holds them back. It's just not true. A lot of things you'll have will push you forward. So, you handle it, the true answer to this is you handle it by being productive with the time that you have. All right, and it's not just about time. No one cares how much time you put in. No one cares how busy you are. No one cares about anything other than the result that you produce. And if that result takes five minutes...

• 14:24Andy Frisella?

  It takes five minutes. If it takes five days, it takes five days. If it takes five months, it takes five months. But if all three of those people are doing the exact same thing, the dude that gets it done in five minutes is gonna get paid the most. Alright, so, how productive are you being? How focused are you? I have developed a tool that I have used for 20 plus years that solves this problem for us. It's called the Power List. You can get it for free at episode 16 on the audio feed. What it does is it allows you and shows you how to break down critical tasks that move you forward.

• 15:05Andy Frisella?

  And it doesn't talk about how much time you're gonna have to put in. The time is irrelevant. So if you can become effective, you have five critical tasks per day that you need to cross off. Okay, and then the rest of the time is yours to fill with distractions, or fill with entertainment, or go live a life. This idea that is put through by all these fake ass motherfuckers, that you have to work 50 hours in a 24 hour day is a lie. That's how you know they haven't done anything, because no one can do that. Alright, so, it's not about how much time you have, it's about how productive you are and what result you produce. And a lot of people have problems

• 15:49Andy Frisella?

  differentiating those two concepts because they grew up in a regular job and they come from regular, you know, I work for someone, they pay me to do shit. And they have trouble converting because they're so used to thinking about this, I'm getting paid for my time, I'm getting paid for my time. Poor people get paid for their time. Successful people get paid for their skill. Okay, so, how do you use your skill to be as effective as possible, as fast as possible, so that you can get paid the most money and have the most free time? Well, you create a systematic framework that outlines the critical tasks that you need to do. You do them every day, you realize that there's only so many things that you need to do in a day

• 16:33Andy Frisella?

  to get forward, and then you have the rest of the time to do whatever you want. And that's how I've lived my life. If I get done my critical task by 10 a.m., I could do whatever I want the rest of the day. If it takes me till 10 p.m., I'm working on that. It just depends on what the task is. So- There's that, but ultimately dude, look, the truth of the matter is I had a really good time growing my business. Okay, I, I worked very hard, but I also enjoyed things and some of those things would be called distractions, but those same things that are called distractions are now great memories that I have of my younger years. So I wouldn't trade those

• 17:14Andy Frisella?

  things. You see what I'm saying? So we have to understand dude, this grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind mentality. Yeah, it's true, but the more effective you are and the higher skilled you are, the less time you have to put in, the more life you get to live. Okay. So I would encourage you to reframe how you think from time to effectiveness. And now you're an attorney, you bill for your time, but we, but we all know what the fuck you guys do. You get, you, you go in your computer, you pull out your little sheet that you send to everybody and then you say that sheet would have cost, would have taken 10 hours to make and then you bill them 10 hours.

• 17:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, right.

• 17:51Andy Frisella?

  So, you know, we all know.

• 17:52Speaker 01

  Just change a couple of names in there, a couple of words.

• 17:54Andy Frisella?

  That's how it works, bro. These guys don't have anybody fooled. But that's, that's the bottom line, dude. Like eliminating distractions, you know, if you ask most of these people out here, well, I'll go in a dark room and I meditate for 75 minutes and I'll put a eye mask on and then I'll dunk my face in cold water. They have all this shit, bro. Listen dude, you don't have to worry about being distracted if you're fucking effective. You don't have to.

• 18:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, if you're working.

• 18:20Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. So the answer is build your skill set, be more effective, get shit done quickly and the more time you have to do what you want. You go to the Cardinals game, you fucking, you know, go on vacation, you can fuck off on the internet. It doesn't matter because you got your five shit things done and five critical tasks done per day will get you where you want to go.

• 18:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:40Andy Frisella?

  Most people don't get any done.

• 18:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's real shit. I want to, I want to dive a little bit more deeper into this, this concept that you brought up about just differentiating what is an actual distraction and what's life and what's just something that will benefit you.

• 18:52Andy Frisella?

  For example, like the, the relationship thing.

• 18:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:55Andy Frisella?

  Okay. We've all been in raised relationships that were a distraction.

• 19:00Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 19:00Andy Frisella?

  You know, women who, for us guys. I'm just gonna speak frank, I'm gonna speak as a man.

• 19:06Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 19:07Andy Frisella?

  I've been in relationships before where when I was broke, I was yelled at for not having any money. Okay, in the same relationship, when I got busy to try to make money, I was yelled at for not having any fucking time. So as a man, there really is no win with a female like that.

• 19:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:26Andy Frisella?

  So you have to find friends and partners and people that are gonna help push you forward and understand what you're trying to do. Not try to be selfish with your time and take away. They have to have the long-term vision. And so we have to understand that the same thing that could be a distraction for you could be a benefit for me. If I had the right partner, that's just using partners. You see what I'm saying? So many things are like that, like many things like.

• 19:58Speaker 01

  A friend group.

• 19:59Andy Frisella?

  Let's, yeah, for sure.

• 20:01Speaker 01

  A friend group. Friend group. You know, I would, I guess my question was, it's like, you know, because I feel like there's a fine line here. You gotta be careful with of like, okay, like I got my five things done. But I could also be doing stuff in the off time that will wipe out all of that progress of those five things. So I think, like, I guess what I'm asking is like, does this really come down to, to like the discipline level you have as a person going on this, this journey because.

• 20:26Andy Frisella?

  I, I mean, I think discipline's a different topic than what we're talking about here.

• 20:32Andy Frisella?

  This is, this, yeah, maybe, I mean, maybe it's the discipline here of, of staying true to your mission and not allowing people to be distractions, but you know, everybody goes through this, dude. Everybody goes through this phase when they start out. And everybody in their family and everybody in their friends and everybody they know is like, what are you, what are you doing? What do you mean you're doing? What do you mean you're gonna start a vitamin store? What do you, what do you mean? You're gonna sell fucking vitamins?

• 21:01Andy Frisella?

  You're not gonna get a real job? Like, what are you, what are you talking about? That doesn't even make sense. Oh, you're gonna build a brand? You're, you're, what are you, you're gonna build a, you're gonna be, build a world-class nutrition supplement brand, lifestyle, high-performance lifestyle brand? You're gonna build that for St. Louis? Who are you? Who, who the fuck you think you are? Okay, like dude, you think I haven't heard all this shit? I replace those people.

• 21:27Andy Frisella?

  With other people who say, "Bro, that's fucking awesome. How are we gonna do that? How can I help? You know what I think, dude? What if you did it like this? What if you did it like that? You know, I don't know much about it, but I was thinking, I was in the store and I saw this. What do you think? Okay, even if it's not valuable, it's the intent. Because they want you to fucking win. So, you only have so much energy in a day. And if you spend any part of your energy, and this is the truth here. We talked about, you know, you don't have to spend 50 hours in 24. But you do have to account and allocate your energy properly. And if you spend one fucking unit of energy. When I say one unit, I'm just gonna say, okay, we all have 100 units of energy in a day that we can use, right?

• 22:12Andy Frisella?

  We all have, when we fill the gas tank, it's at 100.

• 22:15Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 22:16Andy Frisella?

  We get to choose how we spend that energy. And if we spend any of that energy on things that pull us backwards, we will lose to people who have understood that they needed to replace distractions with things that propel them forward. So, if you have equal skill set, okay? And you probably don't, you're probably behind in skill set. And you're also spending your energy dealing with a nagging girlfriend, or a shit bum boyfriend, or a family that fucking doesn't believe in you, or anything. And you're spending your energy over there and you have equal skill, and this guy has figured out to put things in his life to propel him forward, he's gonna destroy you.

• 23:00Andy Frisella?

  It's not, you cannot be that good. You're not that good. So, we have to understand. There are people that are as good as us and better than us, who allocate their energy properly. And that's a real thing. I won't, you don't have to work 24 hours a day, but you do have to allocate your energy properly. And one thing I know for sure from all of my friends, I don't hang out with anybody, not because I'm better than anybody, but all my friends are successful.

• 23:32Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 23:33Andy Frisella?

  All of them do that right. None of them, none of them have a relationship, or friends, or distractions, or things that pull them away from...

• 23:45Andy Frisella?

  What they're trying to do. They all have people to contribute. So you have to be aware of that energy expenditure. Um, I would say more than anything and learn to replace things in your life that are a distraction with things that push you forward. And that that takes that that's hard.

• 24:04Speaker 01

  That's a hard thing to do.

• 24:05Andy Frisella?

  It's hard because you've been friends with people for a long time, or you've been in a relationship for a long time.

• 24:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I love them.

• 24:12Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, bro, listen, just because you've been in a relationship for a long time doesn't mean it's the right relationship.

• 24:16Speaker 01

  Oh, man.

• 24:17Andy Frisella?

  You know, so like the we we have to, we have to equip ourselves with things that are going to push us forward and we have to remove the things that aren't. I did a podcast on this on M S C E O years and years and years ago, uh, anchors and propellers in a boat. Okay. I can't remember what number that was. The guys will find it here real quick.

• 24:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:43Andy Frisella?

  Uh, but it basically describes that we're all in a boat. Okay. And there's 10 of us and you're either rowing or you're fucking holding us back and throwing anchors in the water. That's it. And you got to remove the people that throw the anchors in the water and replace them people that row. Episode 150 on the M S C E O project. That's at the bottom past real A F episode one. Go to 150 on M S C O project and, uh, we talk about this concept directly.

• 25:08Speaker 01

  I love it, man.

• 25:09Andy Frisella?

  I love it. Guys, any question number two. Uh, Andy, I had a fallen out with a close friend two years ago. And while I've tried to move on, I still find myself feeling hurt and angry when I think about what happened. I know holding on to these feelings isn't healthy, but I don't know how to let go and truly forgive. How can I release resentment and find peace with with 2025 here now? I want to get through this. How do you? How do you really let go of those anchors you had to let go? I got that's a good question. You just have to value yourself more than that. You got to value yourself more than that. Like, why would you? Why would you keep someone in your life that you know shouldn't be there regardless of how long you've known them or how what you did or what memories you have?

• 25:56Andy Frisella?

  Entrepreneurship is a different thing dude. Success is a different thing. You don't get all the things everybody else gets, but you do get things they don't get. Okay, so there's a trade. And while a regular person who maybe isn't highly ambitious, they, they can deal with relationships in their life that don't push them forward because they're obligated to in their mind, right? I'm related to this person, or I've known this person since kindergarten. And a lot of people would say that's being a good person. I don't think that has anything to do with being a good person. I think being a good person is you taking care of yourself, making sure you become the best person, knowing that when you're the best person, other people improve too. That's being

• 26:34Andy Frisella?

  a great person. So, uh, you know, when we think about letting go, um, you know, I, I understand when you're younger, it's hard. I don't know how old this person is. Um, but when you get older, you just care less and less about that shit. And you just kind of accept reality for what it is. Uh, I, I personally, I real, I, people are gonna think I'm a fucking fuck for saying this, but like, I really don't give a fuck. Like, if you don't want to be here, if you're not about what I'm about, if you're not trying to win, if you're not trying to be better, if you're not trying to improve, if you're not trying to kick ass, and you don't want to be my friend, I don't care. Like,

• 27:18Andy Frisella?

  at all. You know what I'm saying? So, like, I don't know why, and I'm trying to like, empathize with this question and think about like, how I was when I was younger. And I think when I was younger, I felt rejected by these things. And because I had less confidence, and I had less belief, and I hadn't accomplished as much. And I didn't believe in myself the way that I should. And, um, I think when you're in that state, you know, relationships. Can hurt a little bit more when, when you feel rejected or wronged or whatever. Uh, but dude, the best way to get to a point where that shit doesn't bother you is to win.

• 28:00Andy Frisella?

  And it's to believe in yourself and it's to build yourself into what you should be. Um, this is a big benefit of 75 hard and live hard. Because once you get everything on tune and once you understand that you are in control of, of most of the things that matter in your life. And you're not just drifting through, it sort of changes your perspective on everybody else. Um, for, for better or worse, uh, the people who don't belong in your life, it becomes very clear. And the people who do belong in your life, that becomes very clear. And so, and I think, I think you develop enough confidence and self-belief. Through that program to where you don't mind if people don't want you. You know what I'm saying? Like I look back at the times I was rejected or the times I had.

• 28:45Andy Frisella?

  Uh, relationships or friendships fall apart and I'm just being completely fucking honest. It was a blessing every time.

• 28:51Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 28:52Andy Frisella?

  Every time and no disrespect to anybody that's listening. But just being real dude, like. My life got significantly better every single time one of those things happened. And while I might've been sad.

• 29:07Andy Frisella?

  And it may have bothered me. If I think back to the times where it bothered me for a long time. It was because I wasn't winning. It was because I wasn't at my potential and I didn't believe in myself the way I should. And I felt like, oh, well. You know?

• 29:24Andy Frisella?

  I just felt like I wasn't good enough and it's because I wasn't. And I think the other thing that you can do is, uh, you can use it as fuel. You know, one of the biggest drivers of my life has been these situations. It's been people, my friends that didn't believe in me. You guys hear me talk about it? All the things I just said a minute ago, those came from people that were quote unquote, my friends.

• 29:43Speaker 01

  You knew.

• 29:44Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, I knew them personally. Well, what do you, what do you think you're gonna do? Like? I'm gonna win bitch. That's what the fuck I'm gonna do. Okay. And you're gonna be the same and I'm gonna win and that's that. And so. When we think about, you know, these times of rejection and these times of disbelief and these times of doubt and these times of falling out, that's massive amounts of fuel for you to go do what you want to do. And I know we live in this feel-good society where everybody wants to say, "Well, don't worry about what they say." Well, listen, if you don't worry about what they say, you're missing out on 50% of the available fuel. And it takes 100% of the available fuel to get

• 30:26Andy Frisella?

  where you want to go. And every single motherfucker I know that's built anything relevant that is highly successful, whether they talk about it in public or not, if you get them in private and you get a cup of fucking whiskies in them, they'll tell you everybody they hate. They know their names, they know where they live, they know what they're doing, and they'll say, "Fuck that motherfucker." I'm winning. And they're proud of it. And I'm talking about all the, all the spiritual gurus, all of them. I know them all, motherfucker. And all of them have this dark side in them that wants to smash fucking faces. And that comes from rejection. It comes from doubt. It comes from people breaking up with you. It comes from people saying ignorant shit, not believing

• 31:07Andy Frisella?

  in you. These are things that you can use by simply saying, "Fuck them," and going and doing it. You know? So you have to become one of these people that can absorb the negativity and then not dwell on it, but then turn and do productive things in terms of taking action to move forward. I think that, that has been one of the, for me, that has been one of the most powerful fuel sources that I've ever had. When people believe in me and people fucking like, and I'm, and they're like, "Oh, yeah, you're great." Dude, that doesn't motivate me. You know what motivates me is a motherfucker saying, "Bro, you haven't done shit." And that gets harder and harder to

• 31:51Andy Frisella?

  do. And so as you progress... You have to find different ways to fuel yourself. And like for me, I replaced, cause a lot, I mean dude, look, you know, I don't have a lot of people anymore. They're like, oh, you'll never do that. Like I get the opposite. Oh, you're so, you've done so well. So I have to use that as fuel because now I'm like, no, I actually haven't done anything. I'm gonna do this and this and this. Okay. And, and, and then I think about the purpose and who's, who I'm responsible for and the change I'm trying to make. Right? Like the MSCEO project, the reason I'm bringing it back isn't for any other reason that I realized that we have to change the culture of ambition and winning in society, especially in the youth. And that's what I want to do.

• 32:36Andy Frisella?

  It's not, you know, uh, I want to prove people wrong about how much I know now. Now it's a bigger mission, right? Like when I come in to my companies, it's not how much more money can I make? It's what are we trying to do? How are we trying to change things? What kind of result are we trying to create? What's this gonna mean for my team? All of these things are bigger missions than just being, wanting to prove people wrong. So as you progress through the path of entrepreneurship, you're gonna find yourself motivated and driven by different things. In the beginning, you know, it's usually like material ambition. I want car, I want house, I want a big fat bank account.

• 33:21Andy Frisella?

  Then when you set out to do it, you get a bunch of people that doubt you, tell you, you can't, ask you why you're doing it, try to talk you out of it, and then you get pissed. Okay? So you start using that for fuel. Then if you're good and you're dedicated, you end up finding yourself in a place where you're doing okay. So I'm not getting the hate. I'm not getting the disbelief. I'm not getting the doubt. I'm not getting the fuel that I was getting. So I have to adjust how I attack because I'm not operating on that fuel anymore. And that is where you finally get to a point where it's no longer anger or frustration or hate or dark side energy. And you move into a positive energy, which is these are the people I care about.

• 34:04Andy Frisella?

  I'm responsible for these people. This is the mission we're on. This is what we're trying to do. And it becomes, we're trying to build rather than prove anything. So.

• 34:16Andy Frisella?

  There's phases to it.

• 34:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:17Andy Frisella?

  And, uh, in the beginning, dude, if you try to operate without that dark side energy, you're, you're probably going to get stomped on by people who know how to harness it properly. Because we only have, like, we talked about a hundred units of energy. And let's just say, half of it comes from the mission, positive, what I want to do, prove people right, I believe in myself. And the other half comes from, fuck you, motherfucker. I'll show you exactly what the fuck I'm going to do. And when I walk in and I see you 10 years from now, you're going to be embarrassed you didn't fucking believe in me. Those two things have to be used for all of us, the regular people who don't have, uh, billion dollars worth of fucking funding for our companies. That's how we gotta do it.

• 34:54Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, it's just sad to say you wouldn't be where you at if you didn't use that negative energy.

• 34:58Andy Frisella?

  Bro, I, I love when people fucking hate me. I love when people talk shit. I love.

• 35:02Speaker 01

  It's rare now, but it happens still.

• 35:04Andy Frisella?

  It still does. And I don't care if, I don't care. I don't care who it comes from, because I love it so much. I take it from anybody. Like, the worst thing you could do to me, like, if you're competing with me, is talk shit or hate on me or tell me that you won't, because I will stomp your fucking face into the dirt. I will go, I will go back to sleeping on a piss stained mattress in my first retail store to beat you. You won't do that. You're not going to give up your comfortable life. You're not going to give up your fucking five series BMW to go back. I fucking give up everything, bro. Don't fuck with me. I'll stomp your fucking face. You're better off just leave me to fuck alone.

• 35:39Speaker 01

  Send some good wishes.

• 35:41Andy Frisella?

  That's right. Don't say shit. Just leave me alone. That's why you should never fuck with competitors, bro, especially ones who are accomplished. Because there's a good chance that those motherfuckers are some badass, dark, driven motherfuckers. And when you fuck with them, bro, they'll go to the ends of the earth to fucking ruin you. Not ruin you, like, burn your house down, ruin you, but win so big that you feel like a dumbass.

• 36:02Speaker 01

  Yeah. That's real shit, man. That's real. Guys, Andy, question number three. Let's get our final question here, Andy. Uh, I got a business question for you. Uh, question number three. Andy, I'm four years into my business. Uh, I do landscaping from design to build outs to maintenance. I have 12 employees and we are doing really well. I've been able to pivot during the off seasons to keep my guys paid and working. Now, we are getting back into the work with spring around the corner. And my question is about reinvesting into the company as the owner. Uh, where do owners mess up with this concept? And what's the right way to go about it? Reinvest in the business, how you do it?

• 36:41Andy Frisella?

  Um, where do owners mess up? They mess up by taking money for themselves far too soon. And if you want to know the truth, you should keep all the money in the company, every single dollar that you make for as long as you possibly can. And then, when you do start getting paid, you should pay yourself the minimum of what it takes to cover your living expenses and let everything else compound scale. And that is the fastest way to build a large company that will provide for you. Now, most people don't do that because the first time they can make 200 grand or 400 grand, they're fucking, they're so hungry that they want to take it. Uh, I was no different, by the way.

• 37:23Andy Frisella?

  And I could tell you this, if I had delayed just a little bit in terms of getting paid, it would have exponentially scaled me faster. So this, this is something that I think we all make mistakes on.

• 37:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:36Andy Frisella?

  Um, so if I were, if I were doing it today, I, and I was in my twenties and I was, I was young. Even if I'm in my thirties and you're young, or forties and you're young, and you're just starting, I would keep as much in the company as I possibly can for as long as I can possibly do it. And I would live in a way that was way less than what I could have, what I really could afford for as long as I was comfortable doing that. And people will say, well, when, when, when is the?

• 38:11Speaker 01

  Right time.

• 38:11Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, it just depends on what you want, bro. Depends on how big you want to build something. Okay, some people are happy, you know, uh, with, with a, um, just having a, a, a half a million dollar house. You know, they want, that's, that's success to a lot of people. You know, driving a Denali is success to a lot of people. But some people, that's their fucking roof. So they're gonna have to do this probably for way less time than somebody who wants to build the greatest American iconic company in the world, which is what I want to do.

• 38:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:43Andy Frisella?

  Okay, so there's scales to it and, um, we just have to determine what it is we want. And uh, and then we also have to consider, you know, life, you know what I'm saying? Like, life, the time goes, I mean, it goes by. And there's a thing called quality of life. You know, a lot of people will say, don't ever make emotional decisions about money. I would say that's 90% true, but there's things that you could overpay for because they're important to you. Like, the house you live in, okay? Like, maybe, uh, you know, this is your dream house and it costs you a little bit extra that you, to live there. Well, that's okay if you know that and you understand you're making an emotional decision for the quality, for your trade off of quality of life.

• 39:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:28Andy Frisella?

  So, now, that's a whole different topic. Uh, it really is, because I don't want people to get the wrong idea. But, we have to understand that if you want to be as successful as possible, then you live below your means for as long as possible and reinvest for as long as possible. And that, that's what, that's, and the less you do that, the less successful you're probably likely to be.

• 39:53Andy Frisella?

  And then, you know, like I said, along the lines, when you make a logical versus emotional decision, you, you should be very aware which decision you're making, okay? Like, you, you don't need a fucking Escalade. Now, do you want it Escalade? Okay, well, alright, you want it. You don't need it, you understand?

• 40:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:12Andy Frisella?

  And it's okay to make want decisions, as long as you can afford it, and it's not putting you behind the eight ball and it's not crushing your finances.

• 40:22Andy Frisella?

  You know, there's people, there's people that will deny that, like, you know, Ramsey-

• 40:27Speaker 01

  It's a logical decision, yeah.

• 40:28Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, Ramsey, Ramsey, if you listen to Ramsey, which by the way, I got tons of respect for, for Dave,

• 40:34Andy Frisella?

  you know, he'll say, don't ever do, don't ever do that.

• 40:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:37Andy Frisella?

  Okay, well, what if, what if you die?

• 40:40Andy Frisella?

  And you never got to do, you never got to taste any of the fucking, you know what I'm saying?

• 40:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:43Andy Frisella?

  So, we have to understand, to answer the question, very simply-

• 40:51Andy Frisella?

  Keep as much money in your business for as long as possible, live very Spartan for as long as possible, and let the business compound. That's, that's the fastest way to grow a business.

• 41:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:02Andy Frisella?

  When should you spend money on yourself? In the early days, only when needed. When you're a decade in, and you want to buy a fucking BMW, and it doesn't mean shit if you buy it, who gives a fuck? You know what I'm saying? These things, a house, a car, a, a, a, a lifestyle, should not put you in some sort of bind financially at all. And your goal in business is to build a machine that works at scale. And that takes time, and it takes money. And so if you want to do it fast, you put everything you got into it.

• 41:34Speaker 01

  Yeah. Can we, can we talk about some real numbers here? Like for you, what, what did that look like for you early on in business? How long did you go before you took anything out?

• 41:43Andy Frisella?

  Well, the first three years, I made zero dollars, like zero. We didn't, we worked other jobs, and we lived in the store on and off, and then also some shitty apartments, like $400 a month, three dudes living in it, right?

• 41:57Speaker 01

  Sounds great, yeah.

• 41:59Andy Frisella?

  No, for real, dude. And, uh, and then, the next seven years, I made $695 a month post-tax, for a grand total of my first 10 years of $58,380 for my first 10 years in business. That's, I could have made more money working at McDonald's, okay? But that time set the framework for what you see today. All right? So that was the foundation of everything we've used to scale out. Uh, my 10th year, or 11th year, I made $180,000.

• 42:38Speaker 01

  You're 30 by this time, right? Like, that would make you 30, okay.

• 42:41Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, there's a lot of, yeah, I mean, dude, it's just, yeah, I was, I was 30. Uh, 29, 20, 28 or 29.

• 42:49Andy Frisella?

  Made a hundred and eighty grand. The next year I made over a million bucks and I haven't made less than seven figures ever since then. So, but I wouldn't have made that seven figures ever if that first ten years I had been taking money out to go fucking drive a five series Beamer or some bullshit.

• 43:07Speaker 01

  So, so this is important distinction and what you were taking home the seven ninety five, that wasn't what you were taking home because that's all you could. You're saying you could have taken.

• 43:15Andy Frisella?

  Correct, correct, correct, okay. So, so for, and that's a, that is an important point. From years six to ten, we probably could have got paid pretty good, but we put all that money back in.

• 43:27Speaker 01

  Got you. That's the discipline you're talking about there. Okay.

• 43:30Andy Frisella?

  So, so, I mean, dude, and you know, my, all my, just so you know, like, all my friends made fun of me. Everybody I knew made fun of me. Everybody, everybody was like, Andy's still fucking doing that little vitamin shop. Like, bro, they said to my fucking face, this is why I stopped going around people. Like, you talk about eliminating distractions? That's why I don't fuck, dude, how, where do I go? You, you, you spend more time with me than anybody. Where do I go?

• 43:54Speaker 01

  We go here and we go home.

• 43:56Andy Frisella?

  That's it. I don't fuck with anybody. I don't go anywhere. I don't talk to anybody and it's a bad habit now because it's become almost hermitish or antisocial to my successful friends. But the reason I got that way was because everywhere I went, all I heard was bullshit. So I stopped going to family shit. I stopped going to fucking social shit. I stopped doing anything. I stopped talking to anybody because dude, I got tired of hearing that bullshit. And I didn't want to fucking hear it because when I did hear it, I'd spend three fucking days like stewing over it. So I just cut the shit out and I fucking put the blinders on and I went over here and, and that was it. And I, I,

• 44:36Andy Frisella?

  I don't regret that, you know, because you know, I lost a lot of friendships and, and, but they weren't the kind of friendships that were serving me, dude. You know what I'm saying?

• 44:47Andy Frisella?

  So, dude, but listen, this is all hard to navigate. This is a hard thing for people to navigate. Like, we have to understand that, you know, there's going to be people in your life that have to be removed for you to get where you want to go. It's just reality and, and you have to do it. You, you don't have an option because you won't get there. Because the energy expenditure on that negativity will force you to lose in business. You see what I'm saying? So, you know.

• 45:14Andy Frisella?

  Tell you this, if you got a girlfriend that bitches at you for not having any money, she gonna bitch at you for being too busy, or vice versa.

• 45:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:22Andy Frisella?

  Naggers nag. Give them the fuck out.

• 45:25Speaker 01

  That's real shit, man. You got a bum of a boyfriend.

• 45:28Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, same for boyfriends.

• 45:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, get them out of there. Yeah, get them out of there boo boo.

• 45:32Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, bro.

• 45:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, I love it, man, guys.

• 45:34Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, I mean, I mean, dude, like,

• 45:40Andy Frisella?

  you, you guys have to understand. You are on a different fucking path. You are on a different path. You're on a path where only 1% of the people that choose the path are successful. And only 8% that choose that, only 8% of the population choose that path, only 1% of them are successful. So you're choosing the hardest possible path. So when you listen to your friends, and you listen to the memes on the internet, and you hear people talking about all these things, none of those things are for you. They're for them. Entrepreneurship, ambition, success requires a different mindset that hardly anybody understands because

• 46:25Andy Frisella?

  they've not done it. So

• 46:29Andy Frisella?

  stop reading the memes and stop trying to fit your life into all these frameworks that all these so-called experts try to frame up for you on the internet, right? Oh, you're a bad person if you're super focused and you don't have time. No, you're not. You're living a different life than those motherfuckers. And there is no standard of how we should live. You have to go out and pursue what it is you truly want in your heart. And if you do not do that, at the end of your life, you will have a major regret. You will say, fuck, I could have, I should have, I would have, but, and it's not gonna make you feel any better at that point. So please understand this. If you understand nothing else that I ever say, ever.

• 47:10Andy Frisella?

  If you get sucked into the vortex of what everybody else wants for you and what everybody else thinks for you and what the memes say and what the therapists say and what the fucking your friends say, you're gonna be just like them. And most of you don't want that. So ignore the noise and realize you are living a different life. You are living a different path and that path requires a different set of rules than anything else you're reading online. And when you do read shit online, you say, oh, that's good. Who wrote it? And what'd they do? Is this a guy that just writes memes? Does he know what the fuck he's talking about? Is this a therapist who's convincing people that they're broken so they can get paid? Who's writing it? Is it a regular motherfucker that's talking about balance? What the fuck do they know about balance? To have balance,

• 47:55Andy Frisella?

  you gotta have success too, don't you? Ambition too? Those people don't have any of that. They think balance is sitting on their ass at home, fucking doing nothing. So, none of that shit applies to you. Here's what applies to you. Decide what the fuck you want to do. Break it down into actionable steps. Daily, execute those steps as quick as you can every single day. You're gonna have balance in your life because you'll have free time and you're gonna have success. And that's how you have to look at it, dude. This, um, this, this society we live in that, that rewards victimhood and laziness and fucking quote unquote balance. Let's be real, dude. Motherfuckers that talk about balance, or that, what are they really talking about? They're talking about being lazy as fuck.

• 48:38Andy Frisella?

  That's what they're talking about. Don't listen to any of it, guys. It's all, you are living a different path. You're on a different mission. Not everybody is going to relate. In fact, very few people are gonna relate. And just keep that in mind.

• 48:53Speaker 01

  I love it, man.

• 48:53Andy Frisella?

  I love it. Guys, Eddie, that's a hell of a way to start a Monday, man. Alright, guys, don't forget, Real American Freedom Gear drop Wednesday at 7 o'clock and we'll see you tomorrow.