Pod Insights My Brother, My Brother And Me MBMBaM 738: My Unfinished Business is Mr. Holland's Opus About this episode We're getting all Newton this week with how much wisdom we're dropping. We'll tell you what to do with the incredible amount of Wicked merch, how to make friends as an adult, and we debut our new fitness app where you just battle people IRL.
Suggested talking points: You Didn't Have to Bisect My Wife, Is Cliff Bars Just Lembas Bread, Diameter of the Table Grease, Enhanced Fast Food Regret
First Nations Development Institute: https://www.firstnations.org/
Transcript 10,438 words · 7 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Speaker 00 The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?
1:11 Travis McElroy? Hello, everybody, and welcome to My Brother My Brother Man and I show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. What's up, Trav Nation? I'm your middlest brother, Travis, Big Dog Wolf Wolf McElroy.
1:23 Griffin McElroy? What's up, Trav Nation? It's me, youngest brother, Griffin McElroy. Come fly away, fly away with us.
1:30 Travis McElroy? Fly away with us. We're defying gravity here.
1:33 Travis McElroy? And defying the laws of God.
1:35 Griffin McElroy? Defying. Those two go hand in hand. Gravity is God's number one law. He said, go towards the big stuff.
1:41 Travis McElroy? Do you ever think about how easy it was to make scientific discoveries back in the day? Cause like everybody, everybody must have noticed that like when you let go of something, it fell down and Isaac Newton was just the person who's like, and that's always gonna happen.
1:56 Griffin McElroy? He said, he said, you know how when, he said, you know how when you drop a bowl or a fork or an apple or anything, it goes down? That's mine and it's called gravity.
2:08 Travis McElroy? It was, it would, it would be, I would love to be there. The day that dude was like.
2:15 Travis McElroy? Someone drops something, he's like, oop, you Newton it. What? Yeah, you Newton it.
2:20 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
2:20 Travis McElroy? Like, what do you mean? Like, yeah, I call it Newtoning.
2:23 Griffin McElroy? You know how stuff goes from up to down? I, I kind of, that's sort of my deal.
2:29 Travis McElroy? No, you didn't discover it. We all know that.
2:32 Travis McElroy? No, no, no, you don't understand. As far as schoolchildren are concerned, I sat under a tree and an apple fell on my head. And I said, that sucks, but it will always happen.
2:42 Travis McElroy? And that's mine now.
2:44 Griffin McElroy? Anyway.
2:45 Travis McElroy? Anytime you guys use gravity, I get five cents.
2:48 Travis McElroy? Do you think when he was trying to explain inertia to people, they tried to stop him and he's like, you're not getting it? You're not gonna stop. You don't understand.
2:57 Griffin McElroy? Now.
2:57 Travis McElroy? Chris, you didn't even fucking laugh. I'm gonna do it again.
3:01 Griffin McElroy? Okay, sure.
3:01 Travis McElroy? Can you imagine when he was trying to explain inertia to people? And just as he got going, they tried to stop him.
3:07 Griffin McElroy? No, it didn't give me that time either, man. I'm so sorry.
3:09 Travis McElroy? Great, Justin.
3:10 Travis McElroy? I loved it.
3:11 Griffin McElroy? The first time it would have ripped my ass up. You're right.
3:13 Travis McElroy? If you've been listening.
3:15 Griffin McElroy? Were we gonna talk about? We could talk about.
3:16 Travis McElroy? Wicked fever is sweeping the nation. Um, we mentioned this on Clubhouse. If you're not watching Macro Family Clubhouse, uh, you should. Every Tuesday at 12 Eastern, but, um, there, I don't know if you all have noticed, but the amount of wicked things. Are you hypersensitive to the amount of wicked things? The way we're hypersensitive in my household? Because I don't know how Ariana Grande is doing it. She's everywhere.
3:45 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
3:45 Travis McElroy? I feel like I have seen that woman have teary reunions with every high school teacher she ever had.
3:52 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
3:52 Travis McElroy? I, I've.
3:53 Travis McElroy? She's been in high school for 27 years, though.
3:55 Griffin McElroy? That's right. True. That's true.
3:58 Travis McElroy? I saw her reading a lengthy letter that she wrote about, uh, how, uh, Tower of Terror should not be converted into a Guardians theme ride. She wrote Ariana Grande, like recently, wrote a letter to the Disney company, imporing them to not change the theming.
4:18 Travis McElroy? And she's right.
4:18 Travis McElroy? Hollywood Tower of Terror.
4:19 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, for sure.
4:21 Travis McElroy? Um, in our household, Justin, uh, Wizard of Oz is Teresa's favorite movie and she has read Wicked. She's familiar with the musical as well, but I would say it's not seen as, um, uh, maybe it's a little non-canonical for Teresa.
4:36 Travis McElroy? Okay.
4:37 Travis McElroy? Especially the movie form. So we have actively, I would say passively actively avoided it.
4:42 Travis McElroy? If you, but imagine an alternate reality where Wicked was her whole shit. And she was two people that were six and 10. Okay.
4:52 Travis McElroy? Well, okay, wait, this is getting hard to imagine. My wife is two people who are six and 10.
4:56 Travis McElroy? Right.
4:56 Travis McElroy? Love Wicked.
4:57 Travis McElroy? Yes.
4:58 Travis McElroy? Is it like a trench coat situation where I don't know she's two, six and 10?
5:03 Travis McElroy? It's not your wife. It's just, it's my, imagine, imagine if Teresa was obsessed with Wicked and then all of a sudden every story.
5:09 Travis McElroy? I have two kids in my house, Justin. You could have just said, imagine your two kids are obsessed with Wicked. I don't know why you had to bisect my wife.
5:18 Travis McElroy? Yesterday I went into CVS and I bought, I found out they're called Barrett's. Is that right, Travis? Baret's. I, not berets. Those are the hats. Um, I went and got some berets. And as I was checking out, the lady at CVS said, I feel so guilty. I still haven't seen it. It's like, ma'am, I swear to God, it's not out yet. It's, it's just been advertised to you so much and there's so many wicked, uh, things available.
5:47 Travis McElroy? I was also surprised to discover that. I thought it came out like a month ago.
5:51 Travis McElroy? Yeah, no, it's, it's not here yet.
5:54 Travis McElroy? I've lost all track of time though, when it comes to movies coming out because I swear Wild Robot came out in theaters eight different times.
6:01 Travis McElroy? I'm gonna see Wild Robot. I don't need to cry. Like I, you see one, you're like, oh, I'm crying at that one.
6:07 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
6:08 Travis McElroy? Look at that robot.
6:09 Travis McElroy? Anytime there's a robot acting with empathy and compassion, they, there's somewhere rimmed. They're like, we haven't melted the Maguire brothers' hearts in a while. We need to get them going.
6:19 Travis McElroy? I can barely read Murderbot Chronicles and that bot murders people. I mean.
6:24 Griffin McElroy? That's a sweet, that's a sweet robot. I remember we took Henry C. Wild Robot and got emotional during it. And it was like watching the light come on of like, what the fuck is hap- why is the movie make me, movie make me sad? Movie make I what? No way. That can't possibly be right.
6:43 Travis McElroy? I had it in the, in the car this week. Cooper from the backseat said, Dad, you wanna know something weird? Sometimes when I watch people get sad, I get sad too. And I thought, oh, thank God.
6:55 Travis McElroy? Cause, okay, good. All right, good. That's a really good start for me as a parent. That's gonna make my job a whole lot easier.
7:01 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, for sure.
7:02 Travis McElroy? Cause I honestly can't have had some doubts.
7:07 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, I've definitely been hurt in front of her and not gotten a ton of empathy.
7:13 Travis McElroy? Where she's in learning mode. All of a sudden it's like, whoa, you're really paying attention very closely.
7:19 Travis McElroy? Are you gonna see the movie, Justin?
7:20 Travis McElroy? You think I'm, you think I'm, maybe I'm having a laugh. You think maybe I'm exaggerating?
7:26 Travis McElroy? No, come on, come on in my office for a second, guys.
7:29 Griffin McElroy? Okay.
7:29 Travis McElroy? Come on, come on into my office. Sit beside my office.
7:33 Griffin McElroy? P U, what's that smell?
7:36 Travis McElroy? It's everywhere. I left all my spe- special cheese sandwiches hidden around here. Listen, let's have another Broadway direct. Uh, let's share out a guide to all the Wicked movie merchandise, sweets and treats. And I guarantee you this isn't even a part of it. Right? So obviously Ariana Grande is in her line, R E M.
7:54 Griffin McElroy? Right.
7:54 Travis McElroy? Uh, very confusing still. Thank you, Ariana. Uh, is, is gonna be doing a, a beauty line at Alta. Gotta do it.
8:03 Griffin McElroy? Gotta get that.
8:04 Travis McElroy? When did people start doing the X in the middle of like a crossover? Cause it just looks like it's multiplied by Wicked Elphaba makeup. So.
8:11 Travis McElroy? A wide range of hair bands from Lee, Lele. Sad doing. Um, their Forever 21 has got some fake jerseys, some shoes. Look at this. Aldo's doing some shoes.
8:24 Griffin McElroy? Thanks.
8:25 Travis McElroy? Target has a collab. There's Target's collab. Oh, over at H and M. Yeah, there's definitely a collab there.
8:31 Travis McElroy? When Elphaba and Galinda are at Wicked University, how often do they go to sports team games?
8:38 Travis McElroy? They love sports over there. It's huge. The travel kit. Oh, there's an O P I kit with Wicked.
8:44 Travis McElroy? There's a freaking New York Hilton Midtown is about wicked. There's wicked rooms. Starbucks has.
8:52 Travis McElroy? Special drinks and cups. There's Betty Crocker wicked mixed reveal vanilla cookie dough pop.
8:59 Griffin McElroy? Damn fucking timeout Betty Crocker. You made a wicked slime bag cupcake.
9:04 Travis McElroy? It's rough, right?
9:05 Griffin McElroy? That's tough for us.
9:07 Travis McElroy? It's rough for us because if they get either one, they're mad. There's a mixed reveal cupcake can as well, y'all.
9:16 Griffin McElroy? A lot of wicked cocktails straight from us.
9:20 Travis McElroy? Cocktails courier. Yeah, there's great guys, great value themed wicked. Great value wicked themed mac and cheese that changes pink or green. That's Walmart brand.
9:33 Griffin McElroy? Let me tell you, as a parent of two small children.
9:36 Travis McElroy? I've never seen this. I've never seen.
9:38 Griffin McElroy? The idea of one, you don't know what color your mac and cheese is gonna be. Is it gonna be pink or green? And then that it's not yellow.
9:47 Travis McElroy? Yep, huge problem.
9:48 Griffin McElroy? It doesn't matter if it's pink or green or charred. If it's not yellow.
9:55 Griffin McElroy? There's an acceptable color spectrum that mac and cheese is allowed to occupy.
9:59 Travis McElroy? And it's a limited. Walmart manufactured generic great value wicked themed Rice Krispy treats. There's a wicked Hollywood and dine over Universal Studios. There's fun. There's, there's. Didn't Tai Fung is offering a unique wicked themed dining experience on Broadway with vegan noodles and sesame sauce and a nice cucumber salad. That's not even at CBS. They have four different, they had two different barrettes.
10:33 Griffin McElroy? So and you've bought all this, you've had to buy all this stuff.
10:37 Travis McElroy? You would think my kids would either be Galinda or Elphaba, but they're not.
10:41 Griffin McElroy? No, inside is like two wolves.
10:42 Travis McElroy? Yeah, right. It's which one, which one do you teach to defy gravity? That's the question.
10:47 Griffin McElroy? Only one is allowed to, the other one gets eaten.
10:50 Travis McElroy? I would like everyone to please, please stop. I've put this message on several podcasts at this point, hoping it gets to the right people. I worry, guys, sometimes I am a little bit worried that a week before the movie comes out is a bad time to ask them to stop making things about the movie.
11:08 Travis McElroy? Sure.
11:08 Travis McElroy? I understand. I worry it may even be too late now at this point.
11:11 Travis McElroy? What I'd like to picture is like some, you know, like 1940s Louis B Mayer style, like Studio Big League. Just hearing this, then running over and grabbing a big lever and switching it to off. As all of the merchandise backs up behind it and he's like, oh my God, Justin, I'm so sorry. I had no idea.
11:30 Travis McElroy? The tubes are exploding.
11:31 Travis McElroy? I inconvenienced one Appalachian man.
11:34 Travis McElroy? I had no idea. Shut it down.
11:36 Travis McElroy? Shut it down.
11:36 Travis McElroy? Shut it down. This is an advice show. I'd love to help uh, our listeners with some of their questions if that's, if that would be okay by you.
11:45 Travis McElroy? I would like that a lot. I would love that actually. Yeah.
11:49 Travis McElroy? I think that would make us more popular.
11:51 Travis McElroy? It make us more popular. All right. You want to talk about something else, Wicked?
11:56 Travis McElroy? No, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Justin. No, I didn't.
11:59 Travis McElroy? They split it into two movies.
12:01 Travis McElroy? What?
12:01 Travis McElroy? Would you guys like to see a movie with a bunch of kick ass songs and then two hours? That's not that, because that's what's on offer at theaters this holiday seasons. This, the first one's gonna have a lot of classic songs you love and the second one?
12:18 Travis McElroy? Hmm, we're probably gonna have to go see it. You already saw the first half with all the songs you like.
12:25 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
12:26 Travis McElroy? Wait till the trailers start popping off for the second. They're gonna be like, conclude the epic, like you, there's no songs in these trailers.
12:33 Travis McElroy? Remember all the fun you had.
12:36 Travis McElroy? You're locked in.
12:37 Travis McElroy? You're all right. It's too late.
12:39 Travis McElroy? I am by no means a good singer, but I really enjoy singing and I'm always, almost always doing it when I'm in my car or apartment. Nothing feels better than belting along to Chapel Road in the solitude of the apartment I live in alone. However, I was recently speaking with my very kind older neighbor who lives in the apartment above me and she told me that I have a beautiful singing voice and that she quote, enjoys hearing it. I was perhaps foolishly under the impression that I couldn't be heard, but now I know that this isn't the case. Is packing my bags and moving away enough to cure my shame? Or do I need to go into witness protection? This is from Can't Hit the High Notes in Columbus, Ohio.
13:20 Travis McElroy? Now, I'm interested to see you, my brothers.
13:23 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
13:24 Travis McElroy? How you react to if you were in this position.
13:27 Travis McElroy? Which, which, which, which side?
13:29 Travis McElroy? You're in the position of you live in apartment, you've been singing along, belting to some of your favorite.
13:34 Travis McElroy? Absolutely could happen. Absolutely.
13:37 Travis McElroy? And then your neighbor is like, you have a beautiful singing voice and I love hearing you sing.
13:42 Travis McElroy? Here's the problem.
13:43 Griffin McElroy? Go ahead.
13:44 Travis McElroy? Go ahead. You know, Griffin, if you have a good take.
13:47 Griffin McElroy? I'm trying to figure out how to say this.
13:55 Griffin McElroy? I bought a house specifically to never have to deal with this scenario and I understand that that's a privileged position to be in. But it does feel unfair to even make me have to think about this, even if it's not me in this situation. I spent a lot of, a lot of money.
14:09 Travis McElroy? I just want to, Griffin, I just want to know if you're flattered or embarrassed. I didn't want to take it to this existential. I can't even put myself in that place.
14:18 Griffin McElroy? I recognize I'm very lucky to be in the position I am in, but I'm gonna have to sit on that luck and rest on it and say, I, I can't, uh, to even imagine the scenario, uh, stirs within me an anxiety that I just don't think I'm up. I guess I'm saying, I don't think I'm up, up to this one.
14:36 Travis McElroy? Okay. Well, I can still imagine, I can still remember a life before Griffin and what I would say is, my mental calculations went thusly. Well, she says she likes it, so I guess I should keep serving it up. But then I thought, if she didn't like it, if I didn't like it and I was her, she just told me exactly the way that I would tell somebody. If I could hear somebody and I did not enjoy it, I would tell them that I liked it and that I heard it. And that I liked it. And I'll let them kind of figure it out from there, but that is the most I would ever say to somebody. So I don't know, legitimately don't know if you should keep singing or if they will be like weirded out.
15:20 Griffin McElroy? So you're on my page, you're not, just to be clear, you're on my page. You're also saying like, I don't know, man. This one too hard is basically what you're doing also.
15:28 Travis McElroy? I, I think, Justin, what you are ignoring is question asker, what you've got here is a win-win scenario for you. Because if they were saying this in a passive aggressive way to make you feel bad about singing. Just keep singing. And if they like your singing voice sincerely, just keep singing.
15:51 Travis McElroy? They weren't doing it in a passive aggressive way. They were doing it in a way to say, you probably don't want me to hear you sing.
15:59 Griffin McElroy? I know. They're saying, they're saying, I know.
16:02 Travis McElroy? You should know, I know. And it's not that I like it. And it's not that I don't like it.
16:06 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
16:07 Travis McElroy? But you have to know that I know.
16:09 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. You wake up with a note in your pocket with a red handprint and says, I know.
16:14 Travis McElroy? I know. You had all the.
16:16 Griffin McElroy? I know.
16:16 Travis McElroy? Start every song before you sing with, and hey, this one goes out to Dolores upstairs. H O T.
16:23 Travis McElroy? But her name is Rebecca.
16:25 Travis McElroy? Well, yeah, that's how she knows.
16:27 Griffin McElroy? You don't even know your neighbor's name and dare the asshole. That's interesting.
16:31 Travis McElroy? That's twisted.
16:32 Travis McElroy? You don't have to move. She likes it. If someone said this to me, I, if someone said, I've heard you, you're singing a beautiful voice and I love it. There would be a couple of days where I would be in my head, self-conscious. I go to sing something like, huh. But then I would just keep thinking like, no, this is for them. They love this. This is getting them through the day. I'm performing. Yeah. This is a service.
16:55 Travis McElroy? Yeah. But the way you would react to a situation is not necessarily helpful to the listener. You know what I mean?
17:01 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
17:01 Travis McElroy? Well, yeah, I'm.
17:02 Travis McElroy? They might be like a nor.
17:03 Travis McElroy? And special being.
17:04 Griffin McElroy? We all, we all, yeah, we all are. Um, I, it sounds like maybe you have a very kind older neighbor. So the demographic here is important because I think that maybe sometimes they hear you singing from downstairs and they're like, oh, hell, yeah. I'm literally doing nothing else. I have nothing. I got nothing going on right now to entertain me. Um, it's, I watched all my shows because it's all I do all day is watch my shows. I get, what is this I hear? Free music? That's where their mind goes. It doesn't matter if it's good or bad.
17:36 Travis McElroy? This is that generation. Oh, Griffin, that's such a good point. That generation loves to get stuff for free.
17:42 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
17:43 Travis McElroy? They are wild about it.
17:44 Griffin McElroy? Especially music. They don't, they don't have to go to the Nickelodeon to hear someone, you know, to toodle doodle on their, uh, on the ivories. They're getting singing for free?
17:54 Travis McElroy? Free? I would also point out, um, you, they just say older neighbor. For all we know, they're like in their forties or fifties. They were getting it on Napster for free. And they're like, I miss Napster. Now I've got downstairs stare who's just like singing me all the hits.
18:09 Travis McElroy? Now I'm taking it. Now they're interrupting my Napster. It's their loud singing. How about another question?
18:15 Griffin McElroy? Please.
18:17 Travis McElroy? I'm a middle school teacher and one of my students dressed up as Frodo Baggins for favorite book character day during Spirit Week.
18:23 Griffin McElroy? Very good.
18:23 Travis McElroy? I very enthusiastically complimented his outfit. He told me that his mom made it for him. His mom, who teaches at the same school, came up to me later to ask if I wanted a cloak like her sons, since I liked his so much. I said yes, because I assumed she was joking, but then the day before Halloween, I came in and she actually made me a cloak and left it on my desk. I texted her, thank you, obviously, but I feel like I should be making something for her in return, maybe a baked good or a scarf or something. Brothers, how do I thank my coworker for this very cool and generous gift? That's from quotes confusion.
18:52 Travis McElroy? I think that as, as we've gotten older and our audience has transitioned to, uh, you know, just the other side of the hump, maybe of life, let's put it that way. We get a lot more questions.
19:06 Griffin McElroy? What the fuck?
19:06 Travis McElroy? They're on their way out. I'm saying our audience is on the way out.
19:10 Griffin McElroy? What the fuck?
19:11 Travis McElroy? Our audience is on the way out. They're getting older.
19:13 Griffin McElroy? If you could see Justin's response to the sentence that was just said on this show.
19:17 Travis McElroy? I just. As they transition towards.
19:19 Travis McElroy? As a basis for what?
19:21 Travis McElroy? We get a lot more questions about how to make adults. How do I make friends as adults?
19:27 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
19:28 Travis McElroy? And like, this is a perfect example of like, overthinking it.
19:32 Travis McElroy? Yeah, it's classic.
19:33 Travis McElroy? A child, like, if a, if a, like, another child gave a gift to a child because they said they liked something, they're best friends now.
19:40 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, this person wants to be your best friend. That's awesome.
19:43 Travis McElroy? They made you a Frodo Baggins cloak.
19:45 Griffin McElroy? You got it.
19:46 Travis McElroy? They, they made me.
19:49 Griffin McElroy? Go off, Kate, go off, Kate.
19:51 Travis McElroy? No, no, no, no, no. This is the problem with being invited. This is the problem with being invited with the little people in other people's lives, isn't it? Because I get one little peek and I start thinking, I know the whole deal. So can we accept that I'm doing that right now and I'm the bad guy?
20:10 Travis McElroy? Okay. Okay. I don't know why I have to accept that you're a bad guy.
20:14 Travis McElroy? Well, she loves it. And the thing is, she wants to get with you. She's looking for a new dad for little Frodo and she's hoping that you can be that, like, inspiring new dad or mom or parent. I think this mom is looking for a new parent for little Frodo. That's where, that's where I'm saying.
20:34 Griffin McElroy? To replace her?
20:36 Travis McElroy? No, Griff, no, no, like after I'm by
20:38 Griffin McElroy? Additive parent.
20:40 Travis McElroy? Picking up this cloak.
20:41 Griffin McElroy? Okay.
20:41 Travis McElroy? This cloak, you swear an oath that after I've left this plane, you will care for my son, Lil Frodo. Yeah. No, I'm saying that they want to marry you and kiss you and have lots of babies with you.
20:56 Griffin McElroy? So many fucking huge, huge.
20:58 Travis McElroy? So there's two options based on mine and Justin's interpretation.
21:02 Travis McElroy? If you roll back the tape and look at the sort of pre-roll that I put on that, I'm impe- unimpeachable. Like you cannot get me for anything I just said because I contextualized it.
21:12 Griffin McElroy? So you set up a no, no naughty zone where you could say whatever you wanted and it's
21:16 Travis McElroy? Say whatever I wanted. Yeah. And I said, like, here he goes again. You know what I mean? Like I set it up.
21:21 Griffin McElroy? And then a nasty man come in.
21:22 Travis McElroy? And I got him out.
21:24 Griffin McElroy? On his broom.
21:24 Travis McElroy? Just to go back over our helpful advice that we've given, from my standpoint, I said, you're reading too much into this. They just want to be friends. And from Justin's standpoint, you're actually not reading into this enough.
21:36 Travis McElroy? Can I put my standpoint?
21:37 Travis McElroy? Comedy wolf knows.
21:39 Griffin McElroy? Can I put my standpoint out there? Lembas bread.
21:45 Griffin McElroy? You bake them some Lembas bread and you give it to them in a little cloth and you unfold it and you say, yes, one bite is enough to fill the stomach of a full grown man. And then you say, this is for your fam- this is a gift I made for your family. We are now even. Here's a lock of my hair. I think that's another thing that happens in the Lord of the Rings movies.
22:05 Travis McElroy? Don't do that.
22:07 Griffin McElroy? An incredible gift of velvet hair.
22:09 Travis McElroy? I want to run it back to a part of the question where you said, the cloak you made for your son, Lil Frodo, is great. And they said, do you want one? And you quote, thought they were joking.
22:23 Travis McElroy? Yeah, this is where it actually is your fault. This is actually, because we out here just like talking, if we say, can I make you a cloak?
22:32 Griffin McElroy? Yes.
22:33 Travis McElroy? That's not a funny joke.
22:34 Griffin McElroy? I don't, I don't know.
22:36 Travis McElroy? Punchline, there's no setup. It's not, it's not funny.
22:39 Griffin McElroy? Good point. Yeah, not.
22:41 Travis McElroy? So it's like a really weird joke.
22:43 Griffin McElroy? So what I'm betting you mean is?
22:45 Travis McElroy? It's the punchline you came in a week later and you're like, nah, dipshit.
22:49 Griffin McElroy? I was lying.
22:51 Travis McElroy? I got you bitch.
22:53 Griffin McElroy? Now, if you mean, hey, Lil Frodo, your dumb ass teeth.
22:58 Travis McElroy? Thought I was serious about the cloak.
23:01 Travis McElroy? If you mean, I thought they were offering it and there would be no follow through.
23:04 Travis McElroy? Yeah, that's a safe thing to assume. Just say that.
23:08 Travis McElroy? Person.
23:08 Griffin McElroy? With a colleague?
23:09 Travis McElroy? I never thought they'd really do it.
23:11 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
23:11 Griffin McElroy? Yes.
23:12 Travis McElroy? I thought we were talking about it in the moment, then we'd walk through a doorway or whatever and forget that that conversation even happened. Yeah.
23:18 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
23:18 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, absolutely. Is a Cliff bar just Lembas bread? I'm just now thinking about it.
23:26 Travis McElroy? There's a lot of, there's a lot of recipes for Lembas bread, but they seem to just be scones.
23:30 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, those don't seem like they have any.
23:32 Travis McElroy? They all say they're authentic, which doesn't, I mean.
23:36 Travis McElroy? Authentic, what?
23:37 Travis McElroy? Authentic Lembas.
23:38 Travis McElroy? Yeah, I actually got this from my, my, uh, my hobbit grandfather. What are you talking about?
23:45 Travis McElroy? Um, I own a pair of brightly colored striped sneakers. They are from a moderately sized brand, not something like Converse that'd be, you've already lost me a friend. The fact that it's so kind that you assume that I would know what the moderately famous shoe brands are.
24:00 Griffin McElroy? If it's not Vans.
24:02 Travis McElroy? If it's not Vans.
24:03 Griffin McElroy? Vans are nothing for this guy.
24:07 Travis McElroy? Uh, they are from a moderately sized brand and not something like Converse would be very common to own in a very distinctive pattern. Not something like a rainbow where the same design could arise accidentally. I'm wearing them today in coffee shop and another person walked in who I'm 100% confident is wearing the exact same shoes as me. What do I do about this? They're very cool shoes and I want to go up to this person and compliment their great taste in shoes. But is that weird? That's from Sneaker Spotter by the seaside.
24:34 Griffin McElroy? Okay, so this is a same shoes situation. I feel like guys, we should keep a fucking record of all the ones we've done. Cause I feel like we could say like, hold up and we flip back to like episode 219, um, segment B. When someone wears the same shoes as you, and we can do it as sort of like a technical manual of like, well, we have established a precedent that you can walk up to them, just point at your shoes and walk away.
25:01 Travis McElroy? There's a specific here though, that I want to talk about.
25:04 Griffin McElroy? Which is?
25:05 Travis McElroy? If you have got shoes from not one of the big name brands, not one of the big, you're not buying these at Journeys. With a specific pattern that isn't something repeatable. There is a desire there to stand out and be like, I own these. They are special and different.
25:23 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
25:24 Travis McElroy? We're walking up to someone and saying, hey, same shoes. Might be taken as not necessarily an insult so much as a challenge of the implied, one of us is gonna have to go home and change.
25:37 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. Yeah.
25:38 Travis McElroy? I'm kind of the person who wears these shoes at this coffee shop.
25:42 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
25:42 Travis McElroy? This is my territory. I had a, I had a, uh, I, I've always been someone who's pretty open to complimenting people on their shoes.
25:51 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
25:52 Travis McElroy? Normally it's self-serving. You'll, you know, you'll see shoes that are like, those are the shoes that would fix it. You know what I mean? You see shoes and you're like, if those are the perfect blend of comfort and style, you know?
26:04 Griffin McElroy? And then Justin's like, money's no object. And he buys like all the boots and shoes, uh, at the hotel.
26:10 Travis McElroy? No, I just like, like to know about some different shoes if it's time for new shoes.
26:13 Travis McElroy? He goes, how many 3D prints his own shoes?
26:16 Travis McElroy? Shoes, yeah. Um, no, but the, I had a bad one this, this past, uh, uh, week where, where we're on tour. I was in the hood, in the, in the elevator in the hotel. And there's a guy in like a nice suit and he had these great shoes on. And I said, hey, those are really great shoes. He's like a business guy, right? Like this guy's going, you can tell in a hotel, right? If someone's going to floor two, three or four.
26:40 Travis McElroy? They're bigger than us. They're bigger.
26:42 Travis McElroy? Stay out of the way. Get out of the fucking.
26:43 Travis McElroy? They're going to a business thing.
26:45 Travis McElroy? When a thing opens, when the door opens on two and there's clearly like a meeting, conference thing. And you're like, I shouldn't have even been allowed in the elevator with you.
26:53 Griffin McElroy? Or the workout gym zone.
26:56 Travis McElroy? Oh, yeah.
26:56 Griffin McElroy? Jesus, this guy.
26:57 Travis McElroy? We're at a hotel at the gym.
26:59 Griffin McElroy? You're coming back from the pool? I just picked up my DoorDash order downstairs.
27:03 Travis McElroy? Yeah. Um, but I, but I was in the elevator and this dude's, uh, uh, he gets on with him like, hey, great shoes. And then the, and I'm like, um, he's like, thanks. And they're really comfortable too. So at this point, he said like, they're even better than you think they are.
27:19 Griffin McElroy? What a dick. Well, no, you're right. He basically said you're wrong. They're comfortable.
27:24 Travis McElroy? No, he's like, and also they're confident, such a style, they're comfortable. And then I feel like the natural follow up is like, so what? Like, so hit me, you know what I mean?
27:33 Griffin McElroy? Give them, give them to me.
27:35 Travis McElroy? This is how, this is how they keep me out, right? This is how, so I'm like, tell me, give me your secrets. I got you right now.
27:40 Griffin McElroy? What did you say?
27:41 Travis McElroy? And he's like, and then he's like, oh, um, hmm. I don't remember. Um. And then I'm like, oh no, and the door opens. Okay, so there's a table of people with the cards. You know this?
27:57 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
27:57 Travis McElroy? The cards with the names? And he's like, ah, I don't know. Um, sheesh. And he's kind of staring at me like, what do I do? And then he puts his hand up on the side of the elevator and lifts up his right foot behind him to see if he could see the brand. And he can't see it. So he's like, can you see? And it's so small and he's holding the door open and he's balancing on one foot. And I'm like,
28:23 Griffin McElroy? Do the whole show for you.
28:24 Travis McElroy? And he's doing a little show and he's like, can you see? I'm like, yep. It's like, what is it? I'm like, wolf. Cause I didn't think he was gonna ask me what it said. I couldn't read it.
28:35 Griffin McElroy? So wait, you lied about being able to see. He said, prove it.
28:39 Travis McElroy? He said, what are they? And I'm like, oh no, I was lying about it.
28:43 Griffin McElroy? And he yelled wolf.
28:44 Travis McElroy? It was written in signature, guys. It was like, when it was in signature kind, it's so hard to read. And I was just pretending I could read it till he would leave and he would die in my memory. And I'd never think about it again. He just kept being there, guys. And I was there and he was there and the person at the table was there.
29:01 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
29:02 Travis McElroy? They were, they could, they thought he was being abducted or something.
29:06 Griffin McElroy? And he was the CEO. Dustin's answer is, don't say anything about these shoes. Cause you might get roped into a high, uh, uh, high stakes instant quiz about what's on the underside of their feet.
29:18 Travis McElroy? Oh man, that was terrible.
29:22 Griffin McElroy? I think that's about as good advice as we're gonna generate on this one.
29:25 Travis McElroy? You're welcome.
29:25 Griffin McElroy? We're really, we're really putting up some bricks this episode. I do gotta say, guys, advice wise.
29:30 Travis McElroy? Let's head on into the buddy zone.
29:41 Travis McElroy? Squarespace.
29:44 Travis McElroy? Justin, Squarespace.
29:46 Travis McElroy? Okay, I like it so far. I'm in one right now.
29:49 Travis McElroy? Yeah, exactly, Justin. You're inside the internet. Look around you. Do you see all those tabs? Do you see all the cookies? Not the kind of cookies you're thinking of. No, Justin, no, these aren't.
30:02 Travis McElroy? Dipshit. Taste like data and bytes.
30:05 Travis McElroy? They are data and bytes, but not the bytes you're thinking of. Hi, I'm Travis McElroy, spokesman for Squarespace.
30:13 Travis McElroy? So there's bytes and there's chips, but not like I'm.
30:15 Travis McElroy? Not like you're thinking of, stupid.
30:19 Travis McElroy? No, these are data bytes. Not like data from Star Trek.
30:23 Griffin McElroy? Tell me anything about how a computer works.
30:25 Travis McElroy? Just move forward.
30:26 Travis McElroy? Well, um, when you turn it on, power goes to Squarespace because they've got all the tools you need to build a beautiful, more personalized website tailored to whatever your unique needs are. And they don't ask any questions about what those unique needs are.
30:43 Griffin McElroy? We have to stop saying that about Squarespace.
30:48 Travis McElroy? They have to keep in, stop including it in the ad copy then, Griffin.
30:52 Travis McElroy? Listen, you've got tastes and we know that you've got needs. If you make a website about them, then they can't arrest you for it because it's your job.
31:03 Griffin McElroy? They also, they can, Squarespace probably want to arrest you for it. They do almost certainly have a terms of service that does probably provide some guidance on what is acceptable on a Squarespace.
31:15 Travis McElroy? Nope, it says here.
31:17 Griffin McElroy? Oh, boy. Hey, Juice, are you sure? Are you sure?
31:21 Travis McElroy? Yeah, it says Squarespace is the Silk Road. We can do it all.
31:25 Griffin McElroy? So I'm gonna take everybody.
31:26 Travis McElroy? Half of the dark web is Squarespace powered.
31:28 Griffin McElroy? I'm gonna shut Travis and Justin inside the podcast for a bit and step outside. Hi, so a lot of you have probably guessed this by now, that this show is a curse and we are cursed to keep doing it and we can't get out of it or die until we don't have to make the show anymore. The only way we get free is if we save a thousand souls. That's not gonna happen. Nope. Or if we alienate every single advertiser that we have ever partnered with. You may have noticed there's a lot of names that we used to say a lot, the names of a lot of businesses that we maybe don't get into so much anymore. That is because they don't pay us to do so. A lot of that is just because of the entropy of the, of the market and saturation. It's complicated, but a lot of it is because of what's being demonstrated right now inside the podcast box. Let's hop back inside and see if we can pull this one out of the fire.
32:12 Griffin McElroy? As it happens so far, but.
32:14 Travis McElroy? Hey, I don't know why I do it is the thing. I don't know what happened to me that I wanna push people, you know what I mean? Like that, why I wanna push it? Like they wanna give me money to talk about websites.
32:26 Travis McElroy? Squarespace lets us say this shit and then keep paying us to say this shit. And if you guys at home don't appreciate that immensely.
32:35 Travis McElroy? If you're not, just start making websites right now. Just please, for the love of God.
32:41 Griffin McElroy? It is cool to have a website. We only use Squarespace to do it, basically.
32:45 Travis McElroy? I want everybody to go sign for Squarespace right now because I want them to have this weird spike on this one. Where they're like, so guys, what was it about this exact?
32:55 Travis McElroy? Was your audience waiting to see if they could get away with anything legally on Squarespace? Was that the thing holding them back? So go to Squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to www.squarespace.com/MyBrother to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
33:15 Travis McElroy? And all the bad parts of this have been jokes.
33:19 Griffin McElroy? Thanks. That was, and that, usually we don't put bits in the advertisement for the advertiser.
33:25 Travis McElroy? I wanted to be super clear about that.
33:26 Griffin McElroy? We could send them an email after we record, like, hey, just so you know, for this next one, it's mostly jokes. So don't like, don't take it seriously.
33:33 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
33:33 Griffin McElroy? This isn't a joke, though. My health is, could be better. And so I live in DC where all the doctors are way too busy taking care of like ambassadors and embassies, spies and stuff. So it's tough to get in there, even for like routine stuff sometimes.
33:54 Travis McElroy? And I bet they're all at the Smithsonian. If I was a doctor, I'd be at the Smithsonian all the time.
33:59 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. Yeah. Just like, did you see that fucking whale? Like, it doesn't even have to be stuff that's germane to their practice.
34:05 Travis McElroy? Also, I just think a lot of people would see that whale, get scared to have a heart attack. Then someone says like, is there a doctor here? And you're like, I totally am.
34:13 Griffin McElroy? Yeah. Or they see the Hope Diamond, they're like, I bet I could eat that. And they try and they're like, get the fucking doctors back in here. Someone tried to eat the Hope Diamond again.
34:20 Travis McElroy? Again.
34:22 Griffin McElroy? Anyway, Zocdoc is the best way to find horny doctors in your area. No, that's not what that says. That's not what that means at all. It's the best way to find sort of doctors for really just any need that you have.
34:37 Travis McElroy? And the fact that they're horny is not related at all.
34:39 Griffin McElroy? Some of them might be, but probably not. They're probably all very, very professionals. I, it's, it is genuinely something I have used more times than I can count here in DC to find general practitioners for myself and our kids and to find specialists for me and my kids. And it's truly, truly the best way of doing it, especially if you live in a city where, you know, you run into the same problems where booking stuff is really difficult. Zocdoc's a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors, choose the right ones for your needs and click to instantly book an appointment. Talking about in-network appointments from more than 100,000 healthcare providers across every specialty from mental health to dental health, eye care to skincare, so much more.
35:21 Griffin McElroy? And Zocdoc appointments happen fast, usually within 24 to 72 hours of booking. You can even get same-day appointments. I have done that before. So stop putting off those doctors' appointments. Go to zocdoc.com-mybrother to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That's Z O C D O C dot com slash my brother. zocdoc.com slash my brother.
35:40 Speaker 04 Who's ready for some science?
35:44 Speaker 04 With sources and nuance.
35:48 Speaker 05 And some funny jokes from me.
35:52 Speaker 05 And some funny jokes from me.
35:54 Speaker 04 Well, let's learn everything we learn about science and a bit of everything else, too. From super heavy elements to-
35:59 Speaker 06 Super heavy pumpkins.
36:00 Speaker 05 From quantum physics to the history of swearing.
36:03 Speaker 06 As well as special guests like Tom Scott and Hank Green.
36:06 Speaker 05 And some funny jokes from me.
36:08 Speaker 06 Me, Caroline Roper.
36:09 Speaker 04 Dr. Ella Hopper.
36:10 Speaker 05 And Tom Lum.
36:11 Speaker 06 So join us next time where we will learn about. Everything.
36:19 Travis McElroy? Hey, are you playing a video game right now? Maybe you put on a podcast while grinding in an RPG. Or maybe you just don't want to hear that boss fight music one more time.
36:28 Speaker 06 Been there. I'm Maddie Myers.
36:30 Griffin McElroy? I'm Jason Schreier.
36:31 Travis McElroy? And I'm Kirk Hamilton. We're the hosts of Triple Click, a video game podcast.
36:35 Speaker 06 A podcast you can listen to while you do other things.
36:38 Griffin McElroy? Like driving, or cooking, or playing video games.
36:44 Speaker 06 On Triple Click, we share our thoughts on the latest games.
36:46 Griffin McElroy? And breaking news out of the video game industry.
36:49 Travis McElroy? And we also talk about other stuff besides games.
36:52 Griffin McElroy? So while you're doing something else, make sure to check out Triple Click.
36:56 Travis McElroy? Listen on MaximumFun.org or wherever you find your podcasts.
37:02 Travis McElroy? I'm trying to get back into going to the gym. I've been eliminating all the minor inconveniences that I can use as excuses to not go. And I'm down to the last one. I don't like what they play on the TVs at the gym. The news stresses me out. I'm not into sports. And the soap opera slash crime shows don't interest me that much. I like to watch movies or shows that have cool sword fights in them when I work out. Nice. How, that's cool. How do I convince the people working in the gym to have at least one TV play some Pirates of the Caribbean or something all the time? And that's from Physically Failing in Philly. They've spelled failure in PH.
37:41 Travis McElroy? Yeah, not just some Pirates of the Caribbean though, because that's a big, that's a big spectrum of quality there, folks.
37:49 Griffin McElroy? I think they're just saying the good one on one TV in one corner. And that one is like, you know, being a sort of a nerdier person at the gym does come with a certain amount of.
38:05 Griffin McElroy? Insecurity, I would say, and having a little corner where they're like, in here, you can have a pirate movie to watch would be really, really nice.
38:15 Travis McElroy? There should be a fun one, right? For like, people who are still trying to have a little fun, you know? I do feel like, though, if I'm gonna watch a fun one, I don't know if Pirates, with its various posture issues and scurvy.
38:33 Griffin McElroy? Not healthy.
38:34 Travis McElroy? Not necessarily gonna get me pumped at the temple. I wanna, you know what? I would like to go pray at the Church of John Krasinski in that Animas on Prime Show, maybe. Like, that was like, that, he got, or like, the, maybe the one with Kamel, where he got like, really buff. That's like a fun one, but I'm seeing like.
38:56 Griffin McElroy? A normal guy get huge.
38:57 Travis McElroy? Yeah, a normal guy get huge without, with Rays or whatever. I haven't seen the movie, but.
39:01 Travis McElroy? Yeah. I like the idea of like, I don't know, you guys ever ran into this, like, when you were in school? I remember being in middle school, and usually the band teacher would, like, put a movie on. But class periods were only like 50 minutes long, and I didn't have access to like, Apple TV when I was in middle school. So the idea of like, I can't wait to find out what happens in the second half of Mr. Holland's Opus, the next time I have a class period where the teacher doesn't want to teach it, and remembers that we've already watched the first half of Mr. Holland's.
39:31 Griffin McElroy? Travis, I'm at, I'm gonna formally request that you finish watching Mr. Holland's Opus one day.
39:35 Travis McElroy? Someday, yeah.
39:36 Griffin McElroy? It's stuck in your craw in a way that you bring it up a lot, and I feel like it's, you have unfinished business.
39:42 Travis McElroy? That is my unfinished business. I would hate to die right now and be a ghost.
39:45 Travis McElroy? I will tell you.
39:45 Travis McElroy? Who's only unfinished business is to finish the second half of Mr. Holland's Opus.
39:49 Travis McElroy? I will tell you with a surprising amount of both detail and musical performance, how the, the movie Mr. Holland's Opus ends.
39:58 Travis McElroy? Well, no spoilers.
39:59 Travis McElroy? Like, at some point.
40:01 Travis McElroy? What I'm saying is, what if every time you went in the gym, they said, we're gonna play you an hour of a Fast and the Furious movie, and you're not allowed to watch Fast and the Furious film, if you want to find out what happens in the second half, and then in the second one, the third one, the fourth one, the fifth one, you're gonna have to keep coming in. And there's like, nine of those. So that's like, 18 gym sessions right there.
40:25 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
40:26 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
40:27 Griffin McElroy? How's this for a gym? When you go in, you get a little heart rate monitor. It's also a Giga Pet. Or a Tamagotchi. And then when you go to a machine, you fucking jack in and you're like, I'm gonna boost my Giga Pet's strength, HP and vitality by doing some high intensity interval programming. Here and then you can jack out and then if a big guy comes up to you, he's like, get off that fucking bike. I'm trying to grind my vitality. You can be like one V one meat. You connect your watches and you have sort of a digital battle.
40:58 Travis McElroy? Battle.
40:59 Griffin McElroy? And whoever has better stats because of the exercise they did I R L will kill the other one and get their meat.
41:07 Travis McElroy? Oh my God. Are you telling me that maybe everybody has the gym wristbands? And you can choose someone to compete against when you first come to the gym that day.
41:17 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
41:18 Travis McElroy? And you're like competing against them, but maybe you're like friends too. Like you're encouraging each other, but also telling.
41:24 Griffin McElroy? It's a rivalry, a healthy rivalry.
41:25 Travis McElroy? Man, guys, maybe this is the one.
41:29 Griffin McElroy? It's a, no, this is a kick ass idea.
41:31 Travis McElroy? This is the one. Yeah. Where we can finally get out from underneath the fucking podcast bodies and get out there into like the boxing.
41:40 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
41:40 Travis McElroy? Please, I would love to start boxing. If I could get that kind of money.
41:43 Travis McElroy? How come no one's inviting me to punch Logan Paul in the face?
41:46 Travis McElroy? I will, I will box anybody. I just like, I feel like this idea is the one.
41:51 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
41:51 Travis McElroy? That's gonna get us out.
41:52 Griffin McElroy? And check this out. Every book now, every book now comes with a little port you can jack your, your thing into.
41:59 Travis McElroy? Okay.
42:00 Griffin McElroy? And then it's like.
42:00 Travis McElroy? Books information in your watch.
42:02 Griffin McElroy? And it's like, I read it. No, it doesn't save it. It's just like my wisdom went up because I read so many books. And you could like show it to people like, uh, yeah, I read.
42:10 Travis McElroy? I feel like my solution was pretty good. And then you came in with like absorbing books. You're trying to like, you're trying to like, yes, and it absorbs books.
42:20 Travis McElroy? And it's not that you read the book and get credit for reading the book. If I understand it correctly, Griffin, I.
42:25 Griffin McElroy? Honor system, honor system. If you're jacked into the book, you better fucking be reading it.
42:29 Travis McElroy? I was at most talking like an Arduino powered leaderboard and a few R F I D chips.
42:35 Travis McElroy? You're osmosing through your watch wisdom from a book.
42:41 Griffin McElroy? This wrist panel, and maybe it's bio-integrated at this point, has your little.
42:48 Travis McElroy? Like a Vats system.
42:49 Griffin McElroy? Sort of, you have your little. Maybe it's a monster. Maybe it's just a little avatar of you that live and you jack into a book to boost his stat. I don't see where you guys are running into trouble.
42:59 Travis McElroy? I so you're saying I will plug my watch on my panel into a book and the little me on.
43:05 Griffin McElroy? Or a workout weight machine.
43:07 Travis McElroy? Or a workout weight machine. Okay. And the me on my panel gets smarter.
43:14 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
43:16 Travis McElroy? Do I get smarter?
43:17 Griffin McElroy? The next time you battle the big bully, you can say like, while you were training the body, I was training the mind. And you you could beat him in the gym because he doesn't have any like magic defense or whatever.
43:28 Travis McElroy? Oh, okay. So I guess the question I have Griffin is I understand that in order to buff up the little me on my panel, I need to work out. But then I just need to plug a book into my why? That doesn't seem like it's bettering me in any way.
43:42 Griffin McElroy? Wow, Trav, that's real helpful. I'll pass that along to R and D. I'll pass along that you said that to R and D because they definitely hadn't thought about the fact that.
43:48 Travis McElroy? Hey, guys, you guys are still here? I forgot all about this. I didn't realize you guys are still doing this, the podcast thing.
43:56 Griffin McElroy? Who's that?
43:56 Travis McElroy? I I trademarked the idea for interactive gym pals and I've been making money the whole time you've been talking, actually.
44:04 Griffin McElroy? Motherfucker, to have it in the middle of the show.
44:07 Travis McElroy? I'm out of the I'm out of the podcasting biz, guys. I just bought podcasting, so I'm gonna reshape it in my image.
44:13 Travis McElroy? Were you able to get into boxing?
44:16 Travis McElroy? I did. I actually fought everybody in order and came out on top at the end.
44:24 Travis McElroy? Even even Glass jaw Joe?
44:26 Travis McElroy? Especially Glass jaw Joe.
44:28 Griffin McElroy? This is a can I pitch an expansion to to your gym to the gym pal idea? Every time you kiss someone.
44:34 Travis McElroy? Hold on, before you do it, I need you to legally say that you do not hold on to any rights of this idea.
44:42 Griffin McElroy? No way, no way. If you like this, if you like this, we can talk. But every time, I think every time.
44:46 Travis McElroy? Now we're doing a little business.
44:48 Griffin McElroy? So I think every time you do kiss someone, the watch can tell and increase your like charisma charm, like your charm or charisma stat.
44:59 Griffin McElroy? Wait, no, don't sell it. You're on the phone right now. I'm watching him sell it.
45:04 Travis McElroy? No, they're still, no, Valerie, you won't believe it. They're still doing the podcast.
45:07 Travis McElroy? Hey, Griffin, can I ask you?
45:09 Griffin McElroy? How does the watch know that you're kissing someone?
45:11 Travis McElroy? How does the watch know that you're kissing someone?
45:13 Griffin McElroy? It has a microphone and it's listening for the noise it makes.
45:16 Travis McElroy? Why not just make it when you hold hands with someone, your watches sync up?
45:20 Griffin McElroy? Hmm, because it could be a platonic handholding thing.
45:23 Travis McElroy? Yeah, man.
45:23 Griffin McElroy? That still would boost your, like, your charisma or whatever.
45:26 Travis McElroy? It's just the gym.
45:27 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
45:27 Travis McElroy? It's just bodies.
45:28 Travis McElroy? That way you can hold hands while working out at the gym.
45:32 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
45:32 Travis McElroy? Two birds, one stone, baby.
45:34 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
45:34 Travis McElroy? What if you, what if you?
45:36 Travis McElroy? People don't tandem lift enough where it's like, I've got my left hand on the bar and you got your right hand on the bar. And we're laying next to each other on a queen sized bench and we're both lifting at the same time. People don't do that enough.
45:49 Travis McElroy? What if you could charge up your gym pal with all your hard work? And if you did really good for like 30 minutes or whatever, it would charge one non-lethal blast. You could use on somebody.
46:03 Griffin McElroy? Wait, but like in real life?
46:05 Travis McElroy? Yes, like in the gym, someone's been like,
46:07 Travis McElroy? Dude?
46:08 Travis McElroy? Like, you know when people are like ogling you and you're just trying to get sweaty and get swole? And people are like, have got their eyes all over you. Well, I'm saying like at the end of your workout, it's just like,
46:18 Travis McElroy? and just blast them across the room. Non-lethal.
46:20 Travis McElroy? Non-lethal.
46:21 Griffin McElroy? Or you, I mean, it seems like we have a more organic solution, which is that you battle them. And when they lose, you get their, you get like all their money. I don't know what the penalty is. I feel like fights should mean something.
46:32 Travis McElroy? Yeah, in mine, they got blasted across the room. Ah, I'm reminded now, I got dragged back into this. I'm remembering now this. Okay, I can remember. It used to be fun.
46:43 Griffin McElroy? Hey guys, actually, I just got back from the patent office and we filed a big one for gym blasters.
46:49 Travis McElroy? Holy shit, Griffin, you're six foot six now?
46:51 Griffin McElroy? That's right. I took the gym blasters with a Z idea and took it to the patent office. They bought it for a hundred dollars.
47:00 Travis McElroy? How much?
47:01 Griffin McElroy? A hundred.
47:03 Travis McElroy? Sorry, you said the patent office bought it?
47:05 Griffin McElroy? Yes. I got a voiceectomy with the $100.
47:11 Travis McElroy? Hey, guys, I just got back from the bathroom. What did I miss?
47:15 Griffin McElroy? Really?
47:18 Griffin McElroy? All right.
47:22 Travis McElroy? I want a munch.
47:23 Travis McElroy? Squad.
47:25 Travis McElroy? One two munch squad.
47:31 Travis McElroy? Welcome to munch squad. It's podcast with a podcast profiling the latest and greatest in brand eating. I saved this one for the last because it's not necessarily as wild, but it is a, a return to something we discussed, uh, last, uh, in, in a previous episode. So I wanted to like circle back around to it. Recently you likely, uh, don't remember this because why, I mean, why would you, but, uh, Burger King was looking to hand out a million dollars to somebody that is, uh, uh, gonna make a new Whopper that they want to sell to everybody.
48:06 Travis McElroy? Oh, I thought that was a fever dream I had. Okay.
48:10 Travis McElroy? No. So we're down to three. We're down to three beautiful Whoppers.
48:17 Travis McElroy? The contest invited Burger King enthusiasts to dream up their own Whopper creations. After receiving more than one million submissions, three fan created variations made it to the finals. Here are the choices.
48:31 Travis McElroy? The fried pickle ranch Whopper. These are in stores today, boys. By the way, these are out now. Fried pickle ranch Whopper. The maple bourbon BBQ Whopper. That, the first, by the way, I should say, is a fan favorite from California. It combines flame grilled beef with fried pickles, bacon, and a creamy pickle ranch sauce, complimented by Swiss cheese. I think it's wild that if in your design, you're like, it's got pickle ranch sauce. Like that's, you just made that up. There's the maple bourbon BBQ Whopper as another one from California. This Whopper takes a sweet, smoky approach with maple barbecue sauce, candied bacon, crispy onions and jalapenos. Lastly, there's the Mexican street corn Whopper representing Nebraska.
49:15 Travis McElroy? Oh.
49:15 Travis McElroy? This Whopper infuses flavors of Mexican street corn with creamy corn spread, spicy queso and crunchy tortilla crisps.
49:23 Travis McElroy? So how did they arrive at these?
49:24 Travis McElroy? Huh? Wait. When I think tortilla crisps, my mind does not oft float to Nebraska.
49:34 Travis McElroy? No, well, the creator is from Nebraska. Like, it's not, it's, it's not like it's a Nebraska original.
49:39 Griffin McElroy? Mexican street corn burger clearly represents the heart of Nebraska, which beats inside of the person who created it.
49:45 Travis McElroy? There's a fascinating process about how they got to these guys. Listen to this. "We built several and then really relied on the culinary expertise of the team on which ones were the best," said Burger King CMO Patrick O'Toole. Yeah. So they made some of them and then they ate them and they picked the ones that they liked the best.
50:02 Travis McElroy? Innovation.
50:04 Travis McElroy? Then, also then they had to be on brand for the Whopper.
50:08 Travis McElroy? Oh.
50:09 Travis McElroy? What you see on the Whopper is a flame grilled patty. You have produce and you have texture. It has to feel and taste like a Whopper.
50:19 Griffin McElroy? That is not going to work then, because look at these fucking hamburgers. That's, it's crazy how much shit's on them.
50:24 Travis McElroy? You can't?
50:25 Travis McElroy? Okay. They made sure of that.
50:26 Travis McElroy? Those three things are so wildly different that you're like, it's gotta have a patty.
50:32 Travis McElroy? Patty.
50:33 Travis McElroy? It's gotta have produce.
50:34 Travis McElroy? And it has to have texture. It has to feel and taste like a Whopper and we made sure of that as we tried some that they met our guardrails. Can you imagine eating a burger and like, that's not a Whopper? Fuck! What is this?
50:50 Griffin McElroy? Can you imagine being a Burger King scientist, eating a burger and being like, ooh, it's an edge case. It kind of feels like a Whopper, but it's a little bit crunchy.
50:59 Travis McElroy? But what this supposes is a world in which I bite into a Whopper and it lacks discernible texture.
51:06 Griffin McElroy? Whopper, Whopper texture.
51:08 Travis McElroy? That I bite in and I'm like, that could have been anything.
51:14 Travis McElroy? Burger King CMO Patrick O'Toole then went on to say, "I think the big goal is really to drive trial of the Whopper or drive traffic into a restaurant," O'Toole said.
51:24 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
51:24 Travis McElroy? "It's me, Justin McRoy. I don't normally do this, but I think this person might be bad at their job."
51:32 Travis McElroy? Oh, this promotion?
51:33 Travis McElroy? I think, I think it's to promote. I think either the writer of this article is bad at their job or the talker is bad at their job. But somebody is not getting this. So Buzz is really going to be one of the inputs that goes into that ultimately happening. We know we have an amazing burger and we know that because of the size, the flame girl taste and the quality ingredients.
51:59 Travis McElroy? Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
52:00 Griffin McElroy? It's gotta be good.
52:01 Travis McElroy? Look, I'm making it. It's gotta be good. He doesn't even say it's huge, just the size is perfect. The size is perfect.
52:09 Griffin McElroy? Look at how the diameter of the grease market leaves on the table.
52:12 Travis McElroy? This is no options.
52:13 Griffin McElroy? It must be. It must be.
52:14 Travis McElroy? We know it's amazing. We did a really good job of get, sorry, we did a really great job of getting the Whopper back top of mind in the US with our jingle. But we really didn't talk about why it's great and how have it your way can be brought to life through the Whopper. So basically, everybody liked the song, but it didn't also say like, and Whoppers whip ass, right? We all like them and they're good. I like how they have texture.
52:37 Griffin McElroy? It's my three year old's favorite song.
52:39 Travis McElroy? We feel great about our program, program dynamics and setups from a competitive standpoint, O'Toole said. We feel great about our app and I'll say I also feel great about the Burger King app. I haven't installed it yet, but. Yeah, I feel great. I like the idea.
52:55 Griffin McElroy? It's got great vibes.
52:56 Travis McElroy? We're always trying to improve it, which is lucky for him because I'm always trying to destroy the Burger King app. So it's lucky they're always one step ahead of me. I'm out here debunking Burger King app constantly. I've got a whispering campaign going against the Burger King app.
53:15 Griffin McElroy? I heard China uses it to spy on you.
53:19 Travis McElroy? Burger King more like spy man.
53:24 Griffin McElroy? I would be afraid just because I still have the McDonald's app, which slow rolls its notifications just enough to the point where I don't make the effort to go in and turn it off. Like every, every five weeks McDonald's will be like, just checking in. I'll be like, nah, man.
53:39 Travis McElroy? Nah, I should deactivate you, but I forgot. No, no, I'm forgetting it right now.
53:44 Griffin McElroy? Now I'm doing eight other things.
53:46 Travis McElroy? Um, they just want to say that they're always improving the app and he says, we're always trying to make sure that we are over delivering on the guest experience.
53:55 Griffin McElroy? Yeah.
53:55 Travis McElroy? That comes through not only our restaurants, but for our guests that choose to come through our app and loyalty programs. So with this person, they want you to know that when you come into Burger King or use the Burger King app, for example, they want you to leave like, wow, that was even better than I thought it was going to be. I knew it was going to be good, but it's actually like exceeded my expectations for Burger King.
54:24 Griffin McElroy? I don't know that I have expectations for Burger. The, the bar, if it exists is probably pretty low. Don't be yucky.
54:31 Travis McElroy? Don't be yucky.
54:32 Griffin McElroy? I don't think I'm going to come out of a Burger King ever and being like.
54:35 Travis McElroy? Make me feel normal fast food regret, not like enhanced fast food regret.
54:41 Travis McElroy? Do you think these are available now? It's November 14th. You think I can get these to the, to the house?
54:46 Griffin McElroy? Tall, wet burgers that they put another meal inside of.
54:49 Travis McElroy? How quick do they get them on the dash? How quick do they get them on the dash? Oh, here they are. Here they are. Eight 31. Here are my neck of the woods.
54:58 Travis McElroy? Hey, speaking of coming up quick, we've got Till Death Do Us Part, 10th Anniversary Edition coming up next week.
55:08 Travis McElroy? Yes.
55:09 Travis McElroy? Um, on American Thanksgiving is the show we record with Tim and Guy every year. Watching, discussing, truly living Paul Blart Mall Cop 2. Uh, make sure you check that out. Just search for Till Death Do Us Part wherever podcasts are found. There's only nine previous episodes. You have plenty of time to catch up.
55:28 Travis McElroy? Yeah.
55:28 Griffin McElroy? Yeah, true. You guys watch yet?
55:30 Travis McElroy? No, I'm watching tonight.
55:32 Travis McElroy? Can I say, guy, I now after 10 years of this, it's not a bit anymore. Nothing says holidays to me. Like watching Paul, the holidays are really here.
55:41 Travis McElroy? I'm so excited.
55:42 Travis McElroy? I'm watching Paul Blart again.
55:43 Travis McElroy? Uh, this year's Candle Night Spectacular will take place on December 14th at 9:00 PM. Uh, it will be a pre-recorded but live airing special event, bit.ly/candlenight.
55:56 Travis McElroy? Tickets 2024 Candle Knights poster and ornament available now designed by Matt H. Taylor and all proceeds from the show and merch are going to Harmony House, which works to end homelessness in the Huntington area through permanent housing and supportive service programs. Also, speaking of Thanksgiving, during the week of Thanksgiving, I am going to be at Twenty-Sided Tavern in New York, making my off-Broadway debut. Shows are November 27th through December 1st. Get all the tickets and all the info at the20sidedtavern.com.
56:31 Griffin McElroy? Also, for Candle Knights, obviously, we do a lot of MBMBaM stuff in there. We still need questions for the Candle Knights 2024 spectacular. So if you have Candle Knights questions or fungal or wishes you want that might appear in the Candle Knights show, send them to [email protected] with the subject line Candle Knights 2024. Hey, thanks to Montaigne for the use of our theme song, "My Life Is Better With You." Make your Candle Knights special with a listening of this one with a most beloved friend or lover.
57:05 Travis McElroy? All right.
57:06 Travis McElroy? I've got a wish.
57:07 Travis McElroy? Another normal, another normal ending from Griffin.
57:09 Travis McElroy? I've got a wish here that I'd like to elevate if you guys will give me a little noise bath.
57:13 Griffin McElroy? Okay.
57:17 Travis McElroy? I wish I'd looked cool when I broke my elbow.
57:23 Travis McElroy? My name is Justin McElroy.
57:23 Travis McElroy? I'm Travis McElroy.
57:25 Griffin McElroy? I'm Griffin McElroy.
57:26 Travis McElroy? This has been My Brother, My Brother, Me, Kiss Your Dad, Square on the Lips.
58:02 Speaker 04 Maximum Fun.
58:03 Griffin McElroy? A worker-owned network.
58:05 Speaker 04 Of artist-owned shows.
58:06 Griffin McElroy? Supported directly by you.
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