Ep 587 - PHIL (feat. Steve Gerben & Chris O'Connor)

Support the D. A. W. G. Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support Kiss @ https://www.patreon.com/stuffisland WATCH 'Tires' on NETFLIX Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Yes. Phil. Fambly cast at Casa de Gillis haha. Happy Thanksgiving everybody. We're thankful for all of you - Love you all very much. Please enjoy. God Bless. Visit dosedaily.co/MSSP and use code MSSP to get 41% off Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/DRENCHED and use code DRENCHED and get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup! $45 off Carver Mat https://on.auraframes.com/MSSP p.s. I think it's OK but sorry if it's a little choppy I was rushing to get it up before the holiday:) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  The Wild Wild West.

• 0:03Speaker 00

  Darling, you send me. I know you.

• 0:14Speaker 01

  You're nervous.

• 0:17Speaker 01

  You're singing, you're nervous. Catch your breath. You all right?

• 0:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm fine.

• 0:22Speaker 01

  All right.

• 0:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, we're rocking and rolling.

• 0:27Speaker 01

  I mean, this, this, is it recording?

• 0:29Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 0:30Speaker 01

  I'm already mad. This coffee is three hours old. It's from Westchester.

• 0:38Speaker 01

  He doesn't, this is what he does.

• 0:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 0:40Speaker 01

  We'll go, we'll go to a bar, we'll order wings, we'll eat three wings and then have a plate of wings in front of him for three more hours, till the game's over. And then they come by and they go, do you want us to take this? And he's like,

• 0:54Speaker 01

  yeah.

• 0:56Speaker 01

  Fucking insane.

• 0:57Speaker 00

  A lot of times I'll finish it. This was a situation, I was, my, my lady got me a coffee.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  Even this, it's like, a coffee, takes two sips and then brings it to Harrisburg.

• 1:05Speaker 00

  Well, someone was.

• 1:06Speaker 01

  Brings it to the Mechanicsburg.

• 1:07Speaker 00

  Someone got me the coffee.

• 1:09Speaker 01

  Just drink the fucking coffee.

• 1:10Speaker 00

  I wasn't ready for it.

• 1:12Speaker 01

  Phil, how are you? We're here live with Phil. Phil, you got to talk into the mic.

• 1:16Speaker 02

  I'm doing great.

• 1:19Speaker 01

  I knew you'd get nervous when that light came on.

• 1:21Speaker 02

  I didn't even see the light.

• 1:22Speaker 01

  Some guys aren't built for this.

• 1:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:24Speaker 01

  Podcasting's tough.

• 1:25Speaker 02

  It is tough. I've seen it.

• 1:27Speaker 01

  It's hard work.

• 1:28Speaker 02

  I don't know how you guys do it. I don't know how you do it.

• 1:31Speaker 01

  Well, you're sitting next to the, the mayor of Westchester.

• 1:35Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:35Speaker 01

  The king.

• 1:36Speaker 02

  I'm honored.

• 1:38Speaker 01

  You're not.

• 1:39Speaker 00

  Did you wind up bringing the hats? Did you have hats? Uh, well, I forgot them. Oh.

• 1:43Speaker 01

  You forgot them. We were gonna dress up like pilgrims and Indians for Thanksgiving. It was a.

• 1:51Speaker 01

  I agree, I agree. I was fully against it. But then I realized Phil wearing a pilgrim hat.

• 1:57Speaker 02

  What do you do for Easter?

• 2:02Speaker 01

  That's where I got bombing from.

• 2:03Speaker 02

  Little buddy outfits.

• 2:05Speaker 01

  People ask me how I got my comedy. Phil taught me how to bomb regularly. But you can walk through a bomb.

• 2:12Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 2:13Speaker 01

  It's like one of your, you tell a bad joke and just go.

• 2:17Speaker 03

  He's hilarious.

• 2:18Speaker 01

  He is.

• 2:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, what was the line that he had when we were in the golf tournament with Billy? Where he was saying, Billy was like, it's because you were talking in my backswing.

• 2:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:28Speaker 03

  And Billy's backswing's really quick.

• 2:29Speaker 00

  And Billy goes, you're talking to my backswing, Phil. And Phil goes, I'd have to be a fucking auctioneer.

• 2:36Speaker 02

  Oh my God, he swings so hard.

• 2:40Speaker 02

  And, and the results are never any good.

• 2:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's new, he's new to golf.

• 2:44Speaker 02

  I know, I know. When he connects, he kills it, but we're not sure where it's going, right?

• 2:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, he's jacked.

• 2:50Speaker 02

  Of course, the first, the first couple of holes, Gurbys didn't know we were playing a scramble. So all of a sudden, he'd go up and play his ball, and then we'd all drive up. And he's like, looking at us like, what are you hitting from here for? This is my shot. And of course, we didn't have to hit after he hit, because it was always right on the green.

• 3:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's a very good golfer, but he took the, he took the game very seriously. A couple cart bumps at the end sent him packing.

• 3:12Speaker 03

  I hate cart bumps.

• 3:16Speaker 01

  Connor was in there with you just going, don't, don't do it. Don't let him win.

• 3:22Speaker 01

  He got out, he got out of the cart. You saw it, I just turned straight for him walking.

• 3:27Speaker 00

  I asked him out of the cart, I can't stay in it.

• 3:30Speaker 01

  Last thing you would do is get out of the cart.

• 3:32Speaker 03

  We were also, we were starting to find it at the end.

• 3:36Speaker 01

  It was hole eighteen.

• 3:37Speaker 03

  And we were.

• 3:38Speaker 01

  And it was crunch time, and that's when I found it. It was perfect.

• 3:42Speaker 03

  Just a nightmare.

• 3:43Speaker 00

  No, when the ride of the Valkyries started playing, I think it was around sixteen, fifteen, sixteen.

• 3:48Speaker 01

  Valkyries playing on the Bluetooth, chasing Gurbys.

• 3:51Speaker 02

  And you had who, Dan O'Leary in the cart with you?

• 3:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:55Speaker 02

  Good.

• 3:55Speaker 01

  I might have been by myself at that point. Or O'Leary could have been in there. Regardless, yeah.

• 4:01Speaker 00

  We were six hours into a round of golf, just trying to finish strong. You came in.

• 4:08Speaker 01

  Well.

• 4:09Speaker 00

  Rattled the game.

• 4:10Speaker 01

  I'm sorry about that, Steve. I didn't. I felt bad when you were very upset.

• 4:14Speaker 00

  It's perfectly fine.

• 4:16Speaker 01

  All right. My mom noticed.

• 4:19Speaker 03

  Your mom noticed?

• 4:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, she was like, hey, aren't you gonna come say hello to all the people here? And you're like, nope, I have to go.

• 4:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, of course, no, yes.

• 4:27Speaker 01

  No, that's not really for me.

• 4:29Speaker 03

  Well, it's the killer, it's the killer style. You guys, nobody can leave. Every time you try and go, you go, just, well, just what do you?

• 4:37Speaker 01

  Why don't you have one more?

• 4:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly. It's like, you just gotta leave. And then the next day, go, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I left, I'm sorry I left.

• 4:45Speaker 03

  Your mom was on me on Instagram message, cuz she was like, promise you'll come up.

• 4:49Speaker 01

  My mom DM'd you? What the fuck?

• 4:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, we DM sometimes.

• 4:51Speaker 01

  Oh, my God. Your wife's in his DMs.

• 4:54Matt McCusker?

  How do you do that?

• 4:56Speaker 03

  Well, how do I do?

• 4:57Matt McCusker?

  How do you do?

• 4:57Speaker 01

  You know how to DM. You DM me, you send me.

• 4:59Matt McCusker?

  Is that what that's called?

• 5:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:00Matt McCusker?

  Like a tweet?

• 5:00Speaker 01

  Direct message, yeah.

• 5:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:02Matt McCusker?

  Alright, I'm doing it.

• 5:03Speaker 01

  You send me those Instagram reels, it's very nice.

• 5:06Matt McCusker?

  Okay.

• 5:07Speaker 00

  What, what kinda stuff is he sending?

• 5:08Speaker 01

  Uh, it was like drinking Instagram reels, which was really funny, but then he'll, he'll clearly be drunk and send me like an inspirational one.

• 5:15Speaker 00

  Nice.

• 5:16Speaker 01

  Which is nice.

• 5:18Matt McCusker?

  Keep you on track.

• 5:20Speaker 01

  That's how, yeah. We don't really talk much. I just get a drunk DM from my dad that's like, Michael Jordan highlights.

• 5:28Speaker 00

  That'll get you.

• 5:29Speaker 01

  I tossed those out this weekend.

• 5:30Speaker 00

  Yeah, you were hitting me with this.

• 5:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, you know, you gotta find, uh, inspiration during dark times.

• 5:37Speaker 00

  It's 4 a.m., the bar's closed.

• 5:39Speaker 01

  Fuck it.

• 5:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:42Speaker 01

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• 5:48Matt McCusker?

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• 6:09Matt McCusker?

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• 6:16Speaker 01

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• 6:20Matt McCusker?

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• 6:40Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. But Phil, what's going on, man?

• 6:43Speaker 02

  Just starting our basketball season right now.

• 6:46Speaker 01

  I think you're gonna get fired.

• 6:47Speaker 02

  No, I can't get fired. I'm a volunteer.

• 6:51Speaker 02

  I can't get fired. Other people have to go before they get to me.

• 6:54Speaker 01

  All these, come on, man. You gonna fire that?

• 6:57Speaker 02

  Nah, I mean.

• 6:58Speaker 01

  There's too many rings.

• 6:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, there's a lot of stuff up there that we've.

• 7:01Speaker 01

  Too many championships.

• 7:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:04Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 7:05Speaker 01

  What's that, five gold medals up there?

• 7:06Speaker 02

  Well.

• 7:08Speaker 01

  Two with Trinity, three with?

• 7:09Speaker 02

  No, I got three with Cumberland Valley and one with Trinity as far as state titles. And that's, again, just coaching, helping coach kids. Believe me, it's all the, it's all the kids and the head coach.

• 7:23Speaker 01

  I mean, it's just coach speak. You're just a humble guy.

• 7:26Speaker 02

  I am humble.

• 7:27Speaker 01

  I want everyone to know behind closed doors, this guy's a menace. When the mic's off, he's going, those motherfuckers would be nothing without me.

• 7:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, right, right. Now, it takes good kids to win, for sure. They make you look smart.

• 7:40Speaker 01

  Yeah. Well.

• 7:41Speaker 00

  What's the hope for this year? Do you think you got a championship?

• 7:44Speaker 02

  Well, we've, no, we're gonna, we're, we're gonna. We're gonna, we're gonna have to work for everything. Yeah, I've got a great group of girls, but, um, we, you know, there was a couple of kids that were gonna come out that played for us, and now we're gonna stick with another sport. So they're not gonna play basketball, and that hurts us a little bit, but, uh, the kids that we have, we're gonna.

• 8:07Speaker 01

  Phil, alright guys, enough of this is crazy.

• 8:09Speaker 00

  Well, this is good stuff.

• 8:10Speaker 02

  Why?

• 8:10Speaker 01

  Well, I'm sure we got a lot of 6A girls B-ball fans.

• 8:15Speaker 01

  Now we're the number one women's 6A basketball podcast.

• 8:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:21Speaker 01

  District three, girls hoops.

• 8:23Speaker 00

  This is good press conference material.

• 8:25Speaker 01

  This is Phil's press conference.

• 8:27Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 8:28Speaker 01

  Phil, now, what do you say to those people that, uh, found out your dad killed a bunch of cats?

• 8:33Speaker 02

  What kind of question is that?

• 8:35Speaker 01

  Phil, what do you, what do the Costa Ricans think about this?

• 8:38Speaker 02

  Don't say that.

• 8:41Speaker 02

  We had.

• 8:42Speaker 01

  You can't handle the press conference?

• 8:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, so to answer his question about cats. When I was growing up, we lived out in a rural area and.

• 8:51Speaker 01

  Talk to Steve and us.

• 8:52Speaker 02

  We, we had, you know, we had a few cats and they all got pregnant at the same time. So we had.

• 8:59Speaker 01

  What'd you do?

• 8:59Speaker 02

  Like 25 kittens running around and it was just too many. And my dad put them in a box, a cardboard box and put them on the, in the creek and they went down over the dam. And about three hours later, about five or six of them came walking back and he said, okay, you can stay. That was it. The other ones never made it back. Or they said, we're not going back. You know, even though they survived, they survived the creek and the dam, but.

• 9:30Speaker 00

  Just got the five dumbest kittens.

• 9:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, those freaks.

• 9:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, let's go back, maybe he'll do it again.

• 9:37Speaker 01

  Yeah. But then you say there was like, they were like getting, the horse was stepping on them and.

• 9:42Speaker 02

  Well, the horse stepped on one kitten and.

• 9:44Speaker 00

  Jeez.

• 9:45Speaker 02

  One time I started the lawnmower and the kitten crawled under the lawnmower while I went to get gas because it was hot in the summer and he thought that was the nice shade place. I didn't know he was under there and I started the lawnmower.

• 9:58Speaker 01

  Your dad getting rid of them was, it was time. They were everywhere.

• 10:00Speaker 02

  They were, they were a lot.

• 10:01Speaker 01

  Lot of cats.

• 10:03Speaker 02

  Lot of cats.

• 10:03Speaker 01

  Just 30 cats?

• 10:05Speaker 02

  We had a lot of cats. We had dogs, we had Shetland pony.

• 10:09Speaker 01

  Oh, nice. You had a Shetland pony?

• 10:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:11Speaker 00

  What is a Shetland pony?

• 10:12Speaker 01

  It's a little adorable tiny pony.

• 10:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:15Speaker 01

  What happened there? What's, oh God, what happened there?

• 10:17Speaker 02

  We sold him.

• 10:18Speaker 00

  Stepped on a cat.

• 10:19Speaker 02

  Sold him for stepping on a cat.

• 10:23Speaker 01

  We sold the Shetland, things got tough. Things are tough, dude, you gotta sell a Shetland pony.

• 10:28Speaker 02

  Right. Oh, we had a steer named Sambo and we had him butchered.

• 10:31Speaker 01

  Sambo's a tough name.

• 10:33Speaker 02

  Sambo, he was butchered.

• 10:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:39Speaker 01

  How old were you? Did you like all these animals?

• 10:40Speaker 02

  Not Sambo, cuz he would chase, he had horns, he would chase you and you'd have to run and yeah, the, the horse or the, the Shetland pony was fine. Dusty was fine.

• 10:50Speaker 01

  Dusty?

• 10:50Speaker 02

  Dusty.

• 10:51Speaker 00

  What do you get, what do you get for a Shetland pony?

• 10:54Speaker 02

  I have no idea.

• 10:55Speaker 01

  Back then, ten bucks.

• 10:56Speaker 02

  I don't know, wasn't much.

• 10:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:58Speaker 00

  What do you do with it?

• 10:59Speaker 02

  Well, we had a cart and like a trotter.

• 11:01Speaker 00

  Oh, okay.

• 11:01Speaker 02

  And it would, yeah, we would, he would take rides with it on Sundays and stuff. There was no traffic on the road back then.

• 11:07Speaker 01

  You would, you would ride a Shetland pony?

• 11:10Speaker 02

  In a cart, like a trotter.

• 11:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:12Speaker 01

  That's fucking insane.

• 11:13Speaker 00

  Ben Hur.

• 11:14Speaker 02

  That's fun. It was fun.

• 11:16Speaker 01

  Alright, it's fun.

• 11:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:17Speaker 01

  No, I thought, I, I didn't.

• 11:19Speaker 02

  Blinkers on them or the blinders, whatever they're called, and you'd just go down the road and, and go about a mile and then come back.

• 11:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 11:25Speaker 01

  Alright, well, that's fun. I thought you were like literally using it as transportation.

• 11:29Speaker 02

  No.

• 11:31Speaker 00

  It's like a go-kart.

• 11:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's fun.

• 11:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 11:33Speaker 01

  Alright, I take it back, that rules. I wish I had a Shetland pony, that'd be nice.

• 11:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:37Speaker 00

  Just go out for a Sunday drive.

• 11:39Speaker 01

  I'd need, I'd need a team.

• 11:43Speaker 01

  I'd need the Clydesdales.

• 11:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, you'd have to get like the spike, like the Roman spike coming off the cart too.

• 11:49Speaker 01

  That'd be a nice DUI on the back of a Shetland.

• 11:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, can you get a DUI in the cart?

• 11:55Speaker 01

  Yeah. I feel like the Amish get DUIs all the time.

• 11:58Speaker 02

  You can get him on a bike, you can get him walking. You can get a DUI.

• 12:02Speaker 01

  Yeah. Well.

• 12:03Speaker 02

  Well, seriously.

• 12:05Speaker 01

  Trust me, if he's dodged it.

• 12:07Speaker 02

  Alright, well, they must not have been out.

• 12:08Speaker 01

  If they haven't got him yet.

• 12:12Speaker 00

  That's just drunk in public, right? You can, you can walk drunk.

• 12:15Speaker 02

  I think you can present danger to other people while you're out there besides just being drunk in public.

• 12:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. Well, that's you guys. You get a little bit bigger than me.

• 12:25Speaker 01

  No, I've seen.

• 12:26Speaker 00

  I'm not a danger.

• 12:27Speaker 01

  You're definitely a threat. You run.

• 12:29Speaker 00

  That's true.

• 12:30Speaker 01

  He starts running and shit.

• 12:31Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 12:32Speaker 00

  But I'm safer running than walking.

• 12:34Speaker 03

  Where are you running?

• 12:35Speaker 00

  I just home as fast as possible.

• 12:37Speaker 01

  What about, oh, like, what is he running from?

• 12:41Speaker 01

  That's the real question. 3 a.m. when you're like, I need to get out of here and sprint. Something's going on.

• 12:46Speaker 00

  When you, when you know you got a, kind of a long trip and you're, and you're full stumble bum, speed it up.

• 12:53Speaker 01

  I do understand moving quicker when you're that drunk helps. I do know what you mean.

• 12:59Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. You want like the shortest amount of time out in public.

• 13:03Speaker 01

  Nothing, nothing worse than stumbling.

• 13:04Speaker 00

  Yeah. When you can't stop a stumble.

• 13:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's tough.

• 13:09Speaker 00

  Speed it up.

• 13:10Speaker 01

  Anyway, Phil, what else you got for us? This is your big debut. People have been clamoring for this.

• 13:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know they are. Um, I don't know. Uh, just getting ready for the holidays here.

• 13:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:20Speaker 02

  Uh, just closed the pool. Realized I screwed that up. I had like a submersible pump and I stuck it on top of, you know, the, the enclosure that they put over the pool. And the guy came out yesterday to close the spa down. And, uh, he said, did, did you put that submersible pump on top of the, the netting there? Like, and I said, well, yeah. He said, well, the water goes right through. You've got to put the submersible pump underneath that on the step. I didn't know that. I thought, man, this thing's really working. I never saw any water on top there. Phil. Here it's just going right into the pool.

• 13:59Speaker 01

  You gotta get a podcast, man. This is top fucking shit.

• 14:02Speaker 00

  Wait, how come you're shutting the spa down? You gotta keep the spa open for.

• 14:05Speaker 01

  You gotta keep the spa.

• 14:06Speaker 00

  For winter.

• 14:06Speaker 02

  I kept it open for an extra month and Joan got in at one time.

• 14:10Speaker 01

  Remember when you got drunk and fell onto the tarp?

• 14:13Speaker 02

  That.

• 14:15Speaker 01

  Uh, you, you were sober?

• 14:16Speaker 02

  I was, I was, no, but I wasn't drunk, right? No, what happened is the pavers weren't down far enough and I leaned in to put the submersible pump. And the pavers lifted up and I went right into the tarp. And I thought, oh my God, this is a weird way to die. I'm just gonna get guffaced with this whole thing and Joan won't even know I'm missing for a couple of days.

• 14:39Speaker 02

  But fortunately I crawled out.

• 14:43Speaker 02

  I had to crawl out.

• 14:45Speaker 01

  Fortunately I, uh, crawled out.

• 14:48Matt McCusker?

  Yep.

• 14:48Speaker 01

  He had to go back and.

• 14:49Matt McCusker?

  It was soaking wet. It was in the middle of the thunderstorm.

• 14:52Speaker 00

  Oh, my God.

• 14:53Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. But I made it.

• 14:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, I got the phone call immediately. My mom called me. It was like Phil fell in the pool. Fucking idiot. He was like, I did not. The damn paver's off.

• 15:03Matt McCusker?

  They got it. They looked it right up.

• 15:05Speaker 01

  He was mad.

• 15:06Speaker 00

  You gotta get some cameras out there in the yard, just in case.

• 15:09Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 15:09Speaker 00

  That's, that's great footage.

• 15:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, we need that.

• 15:14Speaker 01

  That would have been incredible.

• 15:16Matt McCusker?

  So.

• 15:17Speaker 01

  So you got that going on?

• 15:18Matt McCusker?

  Yep.

• 15:19Speaker 01

  Yeah. Gerben, how about you? You're, you're, what are you up to?

• 15:23Speaker 03

  Well, you know, we're writing, uh, season three.

• 15:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:27Speaker 03

  And then personally, you know, single life now and, uh, trying to find special someone.

• 15:36Speaker 01

  It's kind of a nightmare.

• 15:37Matt McCusker?

  But.

• 15:39Speaker 00

  Feels a lot like being on the pool turf.

• 15:41Speaker 01

  Uncle Frank's here. My dad's brother.

• 15:44Matt McCusker?

  All right, Frank.

• 15:45Speaker 01

  Uncle Frank, get in here. We're doing a podcast this season. Fuck it. The hell, yeah. It's good to see you.

• 15:50Matt McCusker?

  You're a woman.

• 15:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, my squaw. My squaws upstairs.

• 15:55Speaker 01

  All right, well, go say hi to her. Can we pause?

• 15:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:59Speaker 01

  All right, take a quick break.

• 16:01Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 16:03Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 16:06Matt McCusker?

  This episode is brought to you by Aura Frames. The part, the best part of the holidays, aside from the great food and the gifts, because be honest, we all love a good gift.

• 16:17Speaker 01

  Love a good gift.

• 16:18Matt McCusker?

  Is getting to spend time with everyone.

• 16:21Speaker 01

  With everyone. Getting to spend time with everyone.

• 16:23Matt McCusker?

  I love.

• 16:24Speaker 01

  Matt, I love spending time with you.

• 16:26Matt McCusker?

  Oh.

• 16:27Speaker 01

  And I want this, our time together, to be so special.

• 16:30Matt McCusker?

  True, dude. Holiday season, the holiday season is ours.

• 16:33Speaker 01

  You feel special?

• 16:34Matt McCusker?

  Dude, around the holidays, I'm like walking on air.

• 16:38Speaker 01

  I sent Matt an Aura Frame stocked with photos of he and I.

• 16:42Matt McCusker?

  It's awesome.

• 16:43Speaker 01

  And you know, the perfect gift this year that could be for you to share those moments? Give the gifts of togetherness with Aura Frames. It's a digital picture frame that can hold those memories and get, make them come alive again. I'd like to come alive.

• 16:54Matt McCusker?

  I would love that. You can add as many photos or short videos as you want. All you need is the Aura app and a Wi-Fi connection.

• 17:01Speaker 01

  Dang.

• 17:02Matt McCusker?

  So as you keep making memories, you can add to the frame. You know what I'd add?

• 17:06Speaker 01

  What's that?

• 17:07Matt McCusker?

  This memory right now.

• 17:09Speaker 01

  A picture of this?

• 17:09Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, of us doing an ad read, take a picture and put it up there.

• 17:12Speaker 01

  Going, yeah.

• 17:13Matt McCusker?

  It'll just be just a drop in the sea of many memories that we had.

• 17:16Speaker 01

  Yes. The high resolution photos, you know what makes me the most hard is the high resolution photos look like real prints and they really help you relive the moment. And you can try interacting with the photo right there, so, you know. You can get any photos you want on there.

• 17:30Matt McCusker?

  Brief message like, "Congrats."

• 17:32Speaker 01

  Uh, when all they want for Christmas is you and everyone together, give them Aura Frames. For a limited time, oh my god, let's get a picture of that. Oh my god, for a limited time, visit AuraFrames.com and get $45 off Aura's best-selling Carver Matte Frames. Uh, named number one by Wirecutter, that's huge, by using promo code MSSP at checkout. That's AuraFrames.com, promo code MSSP. This exclusive Black Friday/Cyber Monday deal is their best of the year, so order it now before it ends. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout.

• 18:09Matt McCusker?

  Terms and conditions apply, I don't think you got out of that.

• 18:12Speaker 01

  Yeah. All right, hey, we're back on the air. Hey, we're back. All right, all right. Let's get, Phil, let's get a little, let's get a little energy. Sure, I got it. All right, remember the mic, you gotta talk to the mic. Yeah. What's going on, gang? I don't know.

• 18:32Speaker 03

  Well, I'm back on the dating scene, we were talking about that, any good dating advice?

• 18:37Speaker 02

  You looking at me?

• 18:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:38Speaker 02

  Christ, I've been married for 46 years.

• 18:41Speaker 03

  How'd you and Joe meet?

• 18:43Speaker 02

  Uh, in grade school, 6th grade. She moved in from, uh, New Jersey. And I was, uh, you know, just started talking with her, we became good friends. And actually dated her twin sister for a while.

• 18:59Speaker 03

  No way.

• 19:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:01Speaker 03

  How'd you make the, make the switch?

• 19:03Speaker 01

  Small town.

• 19:04Speaker 03

  It sounds like an easy switch.

• 19:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, the old Indian.

• 19:07Speaker 02

  Just wanted to check things out a little bit. You have to have something to compare it to, you know? Uh, but that didn't happen till later, uh, like eighth or ninth grade.

• 19:17Speaker 03

  Did you ever see the Seinfeld episode about the switch?

• 19:20Speaker 02

  No.

• 19:20Speaker 03

  It's the roommate switch. So how you're dating one roommate, you want to get to the other one?

• 19:24Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 19:25Speaker 03

  And so there's a whole menage a trois, I mean, obviously this wouldn't work in this.

• 19:29Speaker 01

  Jesus Christ.

• 19:29Speaker 03

  No, I'm just saying, you know?

• 19:31Speaker 01

  Don't bring that up.

• 19:32Speaker 03

  So you broke up with her and then later got with?

• 19:35Speaker 02

  With Joan.

• 19:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:37Speaker 03

  Fascinating.

• 19:37Speaker 02

  I think she broke up with me, but anyhow.

• 19:40Speaker 01

  What the hell?

• 19:42Speaker 02

  Hey, their mom was a good cook. They had steak every like Sunday, so I'd get down there and eat and sort of became part of the family.

• 19:50Speaker 01

  It's Rod the Shetland. Rod the Shetland down the street.

• 19:55Speaker 02

  Uh, but they had this dog, this little snouser. And I hated that dog. His name was Otto. And it, it, whenever I walked in that room, it would just come up and start biting my feet. And they, they, they would put like me in like sort of a staging area, like a waiting area for them to come down the steps or whatever. And I would hear that dog's toenails running towards me. And then at the end he became blind. So as he's getting real close, I would shut the pocket door and just hear his face hitting the door. And it was just, I, I would just sit in there and laugh. I thought it was great because that dog tormented me for years. And finally at the end I got back to him.

• 20:40Speaker 01

  There you go, you got revenge on the snouser.

• 20:44Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. Yep.

• 20:46Speaker 01

  That's good stuff.

• 20:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:48Speaker 01

  So you guys started dating in sixth grade?

• 20:50Speaker 02

  No, no.

• 20:51Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 20:51Speaker 02

  That's when I met.

• 20:52Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 20:52Speaker 02

  Your mother in sixth grade.

• 20:55Speaker 03

  Were you in the friend zone for a while?

• 20:56Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 20:58Speaker 03

  How do you, how do you get out of the friend?

• 20:59Speaker 02

  You get married.

• 21:01Speaker 02

  That's how you get out of it.

• 21:02Speaker 01

  Then you're done being friends. Now you don't even, yeah.

• 21:06Speaker 02

  That's how you get out of it.

• 21:09Speaker 02

  No, I'm just kidding about that. To some degree.

• 21:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:13Speaker 01

  So, Gerben, is that good advice?

• 21:15Speaker 03

  No. Not applicable. I wouldn't say it's bad advice.

• 21:19Speaker 01

  You don't want to hurt a blind dog? That's Phil's advice. You go, what are your advice for dating? I used to fuck with this dog. Alright.

• 21:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, so.

• 21:30Speaker 01

  No, but you're out there. You're on the apps?

• 21:32Speaker 03

  I'm on an app.

• 21:34Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 21:34Speaker 03

  Uh, and, yeah, it's.

• 21:38Speaker 01

  It's going well for you?

• 21:39Speaker 03

  It's going well insofar as I get dates now.

• 21:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:42Speaker 03

  Which is the, the really sad and upsetting thing about this. It's like, I was on the apps, I don't know, six years ago.

• 21:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:50Speaker 03

  And nothing.

• 21:52Speaker 02

  Nothing was dry.

• 21:53Speaker 03

  Absolutely nobody would go on.

• 21:56Speaker 01

  Well, now they know you're funny. That's the tough part about it. When you look like us and you get on a dating app.

• 22:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's just immediate.

• 22:03Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 22:04Speaker 03

  Right.

• 22:04Speaker 01

  I tried, I tried a dating app for like 24 hours once. It was the most depressing.

• 22:09Speaker 03

  Crushes your soul.

• 22:10Speaker 01

  Cause I downloaded, cause I was going through a breakup and I was like, I'm, I'm fucking, I'll show her. Zero for 24 hours. Fuck.

• 22:20Speaker 03

  I, I don't think a lot of women understand that that's men's experience on dating sites, which is zero.

• 22:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:28Speaker 03

  Like I had a friend, she was like, all the guys on here are weird. I'm like, all the, all? Try zero girls.

• 22:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's way worse.

• 22:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:37Speaker 01

  I'd rather get somebody DMing me like, yeah, I'll show you my dick, you bitch, fuck you. That's at least something. You get, you feel something.

• 22:43Speaker 03

  Getting a reaction.

• 22:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, this, you get on there, you look like us, you get on a dating app, it's.

• 22:49Speaker 01

  Nothing.

• 22:50Speaker 03

  No. So.

• 22:52Speaker 01

  And then you get picky, which is very funny. You're getting zero and you're sitting there going, yeah, fuck it. Yeah, right. Yeah, right. But you go, oh, a 10. She's gonna like me.

• 23:02Speaker 03

  Right.

• 23:04Speaker 01

  She's not.

• 23:05Speaker 03

  Uh, so now at least I'm getting dates. So I'm out there and, you know, getting to take people out and.

• 23:12Speaker 01

  And you're getting into line dancing.

• 23:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm getting into line dancing. I'm really into that. There's a place by us. Should I name? No, I shouldn't.

• 23:20Speaker 01

  Well, it doesn't matter.

• 23:21Speaker 03

  What is that?

• 23:22Speaker 01

  Go ahead.

• 23:23Speaker 03

  I'm not gonna do it.

• 23:24Speaker 01

  They're gonna be there now.

• 23:26Speaker 03

  Who?

• 23:27Speaker 01

  The weird guys.

• 23:30Speaker 03

  They're there anyway.

• 23:31Speaker 01

  The weird guys are gonna be there waiting for you to line dance.

• 23:33Speaker 00

  They're already there. They've always been there.

• 23:36Speaker 01

  That's on you.

• 23:36Speaker 03

  Well, then we'll keep the name out of it, even though.

• 23:38Speaker 01

  It's gonna be tough to find.

• 23:41Speaker 01

  It's gonna be real hard to find.

• 23:42Speaker 03

  This is a great place. Everybody there is so nice.

• 23:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:45Speaker 03

  The bartenders are great, uh, the, the bouncers and, and, you know, they're big fans of tires. So they're all coming like showing me how to do moves.

• 23:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:54Speaker 01

  Which also for the record, I have nothing but support for the weird guys.

• 23:56Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 23:57Speaker 01

  I don't want you to, yeah.

• 23:57Speaker 03

  No, no, of course.

• 23:58Speaker 01

  But support for the weird guys.

• 24:00Speaker 03

  Um, but.

• 24:01Speaker 01

  We're weird.

• 24:03Speaker 03

  Yeah. So I got cowboy boots. I, I just went all in.

• 24:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:06Speaker 03

  And, uh, yeah.

• 24:08Speaker 01

  I just want you to know how much this sucks.

• 24:09Speaker 03

  I know you hate it.

• 24:11Speaker 01

  I actually don't hate it as much as you'd think.

• 24:13Speaker 03

  Well.

• 24:13Speaker 01

  I don't like that you're practicing line dancing in the office at tires.

• 24:17Speaker 03

  So that did happen.

• 24:18Speaker 01

  That.

• 24:19Speaker 03

  I, I was telling Joe that because I, I'm typically cold.

• 24:22Speaker 01

  Of course, my mom loves it.

• 24:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, because she.

• 24:24Speaker 00

  That's so nice.

• 24:25Speaker 03

  She's a good soul and like, you know, so, uh, typically I run really cold and the other day we were getting lunch and Chris is all bundled up and I was in a t-shirt. I was like, why are you bundled up? And I'm, and then I was like, oh. Of course caught that.

• 24:40Speaker 00

  The door was closed.

• 24:40Speaker 01

  What were you doing? Why is your blood flowing? What were you doing?

• 24:45Speaker 03

  Working on this move in the boot scoot boogie where like you can kinda, when you make a turn, you hop up and click your heels.

• 24:53Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 24:53Speaker 03

  Yeah. Which is, which is what I really like about line dancing, which is the improvisational aspect of it. Once you get down.

• 25:01Speaker 00

  You can be creative.

• 25:01Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 25:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:02Speaker 00

  I like that too.

• 25:03Speaker 01

  You like the boot scoot boogie.

• 25:04Speaker 03

  I love that one.

• 25:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's fun.

• 25:06Speaker 03

  Yeah. Cotton Eye Joe.

• 25:08Speaker 01

  That's a good one. That is a fucking great song.

• 25:11Speaker 00

  But it's frowned upon by the line dancing community, Cotton Eye Joe.

• 25:14Speaker 03

  Because it's so simple.

• 25:16Speaker 00

  Or yeah, I think it's probably just, it's like hack, right?

• 25:18Speaker 01

  I would imagine it's hack.

• 25:19Speaker 00

  Yeah. Well, they probably have deep cuts in there. They're like, oh, this guy knows what he's doing.

• 25:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, I suppose, but.

• 25:25Speaker 01

  You gotta come to Austin.

• 25:26Speaker 00

  You gotta start with Cotton Eye Joe.

• 25:28Speaker 01

  It's all they, that's all they're doing down there.

• 25:30Speaker 03

  I've heard.

• 25:32Speaker 01

  You can get down there and cut a rug, find a nice southern belle.

• 25:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, I would love a southern.

• 25:36Speaker 01

  Texas babe.

• 25:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:39Speaker 01

  She'll kiss you.

• 25:40Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 25:43Speaker 01

  Phil, you don't know anything about this guy. He's a sexual.

• 25:46Speaker 03

  Well, of course I'm a sexual person, but that's the thing that I also had to get over is like you really are. You're meant to kiss on the first date.

• 25:54Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 25:55Speaker 03

  That's like a thing that you you're sort of supposed to do.

• 25:58Speaker 01

  On a hinged, on a.

• 26:00Speaker 03

  On a date, on a first date.

• 26:01Speaker 01

  You kiss?

• 26:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:03Speaker 03

  Cause if like, if you're the guy, you don't go for that. It's kind of seen as like lack of interest and lack of confidence. So that was something I had to get over.

• 26:12Speaker 02

  So even if you had one, you really didn't want to kiss, you'd still go through with it?

• 26:15Speaker 03

  No, I probably wouldn't. But, you know, like all these FaceTime dates beforehand.

• 26:21Speaker 01

  This is the thing that bothers.

• 26:22Speaker 03

  I don't know why it bothers you.

• 26:23Speaker 01

  Uh, I just, I don't like.

• 26:24Speaker 03

  Didn't mean to yell at you that much right now.

• 26:26Speaker 01

  No, no, it's totally fine. I get real sad about how the informality or like how or the formality of online dating.

• 26:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:35Speaker 01

  It makes me sad that there's no like.

• 26:37Speaker 03

  Kismet.

• 26:38Speaker 01

  There's, it's, it's just like, okay. And then we FaceTime and we talk to each other and then we say, I'd like to meet at this time and we'll see if we like each other. I don't know.

• 26:46Speaker 03

  You gotta do the FaceTime thing though, cause otherwise you're going out, you're shelling out date money all over the place. In time with people.

• 26:56Speaker 01

  Boy is rich as hell.

• 26:57Speaker 03

  Dude.

• 26:57Speaker 01

  Boots, boogies, big shot. But. He's got a big belt buckle with diamonds on it.

• 27:02Speaker 03

  I don't have a big belt buckle.

• 27:03Speaker 02

  They have a private parking space for you or anything?

• 27:05Speaker 03

  They do not have a private parking. Why would you even say that around me?

• 27:11Speaker 03

  The FaceTime date works because then you very quickly can determine is this person lying via their pictures and then also do, are they weird? And you just, so it just saves a whole bunch of like, I would hate to have to be on a date and instantly know you don't want to be there and then have to like have the full drink and be like, I gotta go.

• 27:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:35Speaker 03

  That sounds kind of fun though.

• 27:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'd love to be on a, just a horrendous date that I know.

• 27:39Speaker 03

  And then you exit.

• 27:40Speaker 01

  I wouldn't, I'd fucking, you know, man.

• 27:41Speaker 03

  Stick around.

• 27:42Speaker 01

  I don't know, we're gonna be here till three. I know the bartenders, they're gonna stay open. We're gonna be here till four. Then you try to get an Uber out of fucking the Harrisburg comedy zone. Fuck, 45 minutes. We gotta stay. Yeah, that's a, I don't, I don't envy the online dating.

• 28:01Speaker 03

  It's, it's not great. I do hope to, I mean, it's, I should, I shouldn't say it's not great. Like, I've already met.

• 28:05Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 28:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I would like to meet in person and I'd need to get a little more comfortable.

• 28:12Speaker 01

  Where do you even do that?

• 28:13Speaker 00

  That's line dancing.

• 28:14Speaker 03

  Line dancing, maybe?

• 28:15Speaker 02

  Right?

• 28:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:15Speaker 02

  Your country club?

• 28:16Speaker 03

  Yep. Well, it's just all guys.

• 28:18Speaker 01

  It's just all Jewish men.

• 28:20Speaker 02

  Is it all Jewish men?

• 28:21Speaker 03

  It's not Jewish. It was originally Jewish.

• 28:24Speaker 02

  Mother, daughter interactions or anything like that?

• 28:26Speaker 03

  Uh, I've had none of those.

• 28:29Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 28:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:30Speaker 01

  No, it's just.

• 28:30Speaker 02

  Keep your eyes open. You're out there.

• 28:32Speaker 01

  It's just Jewish men.

• 28:34Speaker 03

  Is there a pool? There's a pool.

• 28:36Speaker 00

  That's where you, yeah.

• 28:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, the pool.

• 28:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 28:38Speaker 00

  You gotta take a lap around the pool after one of your, uh, after a round of golf.

• 28:43Speaker 01

  A round of Jewish golf.

• 28:45Speaker 03

  It's not Jewish now, they don't, it's just at the time, cuz.

• 28:50Speaker 01

  When I was there, there was a big Star David on the wall.

• 28:53Speaker 03

  Was there?

• 28:54Speaker 01

  Where, no, in the window. It was like a reef.

• 28:56Speaker 03

  Well.

• 28:57Speaker 01

  For the pro shop.

• 28:58Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 28:59Speaker 01

  Which is great.

• 28:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think, well, they do all the.

• 29:02Speaker 01

  I only saw a Star David.

• 29:03Speaker 03

  Oh, they got a Christmas tree.

• 29:04Speaker 01

  Well, they should understand that Christ is king.

• 29:09Speaker 03

  But it is interesting cuz it started off as a Jewish only, so all the older guys.

• 29:13Speaker 01

  Jewish only?

• 29:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, oh yeah.

• 29:14Speaker 01

  God damn.

• 29:15Speaker 03

  Cuz the, cuz they couldn't get into the other ones in the area.

• 29:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, so they had to start their own.

• 29:19Speaker 03

  They started their own.

• 29:20Speaker 02

  Sure. That's very common.

• 29:22Speaker 03

  Yeah. And then, so, go ahead, what do you got?

• 29:24Speaker 01

  Nothing.

• 29:25Speaker 03

  Go ahead, what do you got?

• 29:25Speaker 01

  I got nothing.

• 29:26Speaker 03

  All right. Got something, but the, uh, so, yeah, it's just the older guys are all very Jewish.

• 29:33Speaker 01

  Yeah. How can you tell?

• 29:35Speaker 03

  Their voices.

• 29:36Speaker 01

  What do they sound like?

• 29:39Speaker 00

  Oh, God, a bogey. Oh, Lord.

• 29:42Speaker 03

  This club in my hands, it hurts.

• 29:45Speaker 00

  I'll take a six.

• 29:48Speaker 01

  There you go, Phil. You're fired from your job, but fuck it. It was time to retire, anyway.

• 29:55Speaker 02

  Getting there.

• 29:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:56Speaker 01

  It's good to go out getting fired at your age.

• 29:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:59Speaker 01

  Getting fired is funny. For an old man to get fired from his job for doing a Jewish impression on a podcast is fucking hilarious.

• 30:06Speaker 00

  I'll take a six.

• 30:08Speaker 01

  Phil, can we talk? We need you to come into the office. You're fired.

• 30:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, but it's also extremely accurate.

• 30:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:21Speaker 02

  Well, how about your Thanksgiving? You were talking a little bit about your, some of your participants.

• 30:27Speaker 03

  No.

• 30:29Speaker 03

  I don't want to throw anybody in the film. You're nuts on here.

• 30:32Speaker 02

  What?

• 30:33Speaker 03

  You're crazy on here.

• 30:33Speaker 01

  Well, no. No, you, I mean, you can.

• 30:37Speaker 03

  I'd prefer not to.

• 30:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's why. Yeah.

• 30:39Speaker 03

  I'm happy to throw myself under the bus for anything.

• 30:42Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no, that's, that's one of those.

• 30:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:44Speaker 02

  That should be off limits.

• 30:46Speaker 01

  Hopefully we get some of that, though. I'd love some political fighting at Thanksgiving.

• 30:50Speaker 02

  Well, we got the participants.

• 30:51Speaker 01

  I'm down to do it. I love it. I love it.

• 30:56Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 30:56Speaker 01

  We'll get you going and then.

• 30:58Speaker 02

  We got both sides.

• 30:59Speaker 01

  We do have a nice mix.

• 31:01Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 31:01Speaker 01

  I like the, but everyone drinks, so everyone really gets out of pocket at night.

• 31:06Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 31:07Speaker 01

  I had a nice battle with my, my uncle and my aunt one year. It was wonderful.

• 31:11Speaker 03

  But it feels like everybody would be very communicative. Like it wouldn't be passive aggressive, it would just be aggressive.

• 31:16Speaker 01

  Well, it's just, yeah, it's pretty aggressive.

• 31:18Speaker 02

  What happened is, this is Jones.

• 31:20Speaker 01

  Okay, but again, they're gonna hear this.

• 31:23Speaker 02

  Well, they can hear it, but, but, uh, so she, she and Shane are going after each other on the, on the political stuff, you know? And all of a sudden, you know, this is after like three or four hours of drinking and this is three or four hours after the Thanksgiving meal. And Shane is arguing with her, talking, and all of a sudden he starts talking like Trump. And she's like a dog, like she turns her head, like she's trying to understand, like, is this really Trump talking? Like she's all screwed up.

• 31:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:53Speaker 02

  It was hilarious. It was hilarious.

• 31:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was fun to argue with her as Trump while she was hammered on wine.

• 32:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:01Speaker 01

  Like she was like, ah.

• 32:02Speaker 03

  Ah.

• 32:04Speaker 03

  Ah.

• 32:07Speaker 01

  Shut up. I'm gonna get a little quiet piggy at Thanksgiving. At the table, at the table, quiet piggy. That'll be chaos.

• 32:15Speaker 00

  You should gamify it. You should just have like little cards.

• 32:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:19Speaker 00

  Around the house.

• 32:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:20Speaker 00

  Hot button issues.

• 32:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'll find it myself. Oh yeah. Ukraine. You love that.

• 32:27Speaker 00

  Bottom of every glass is just.

• 32:30Speaker 01

  That'd be nice. Me and Chris got in, we had a nice political debate again. Same one.

• 32:35Speaker 00

  Same one.

• 32:35Speaker 01

  So what we do, we go out, we hang out for hours. And then a fifth hour in, we go, you, you suck. And I just have a political debate about illegal immigration for four hours.

• 32:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:48Speaker 01

  And we were with the other writers on the show, on Tires. And like, he, he was, I mean, I hate to, I don't even wanna say what you said to me. It was so hurtful. He, he's, he went low.

• 33:00Speaker 00

  But you came back.

• 33:01Speaker 01

  And I went high.

• 33:02Speaker 00

  You came back with some sauce.

• 33:03Speaker 01

  I went back with, I'll beat the fuck out of you. Obviously, I would never hit him, and he knows that, but the people we're with were all like, oh my god. What are these guys doing?

• 33:12Speaker 00

  Take a smoke break.

• 33:12Speaker 01

  You say some shit like that to me, I'll fucking punch you in the fucking mouth, dude. The whole staff left.

• 33:18Speaker 03

  Well, just a bunch of drunk guys are like, Shane!

• 33:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. That's, that's been tough, trying to have like fucking heart to hearts with people.

• 33:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 33:26Speaker 01

  And someone just comes up, I was like, dude, what's up? I'm like, what's up, man? I'm good.

• 33:30Speaker 00

  Yeah, we also didn't even notice that they left. We were arguing for like 20 minutes.

• 33:34Speaker 01

  21 minutes. Fucking left. Fucking losers, they don't wanna have fun like us.

• 33:39Speaker 03

  I was saying, I, I truly think I understand what, uh, like, hot women go through now. Given my daily experience. Like, when we go out, I don't know how Shane takes it. Not that, again, it's not that.

• 33:54Speaker 01

  They're all staring at my jokes.

• 33:58Matt McCusker?

  It's not that I'm not like unbelievably grateful for people to be fans of the show and all that and wanna meet and take pictures, but then, once they get to a level of intoxication, they just like, don't leave you.

• 34:10Speaker 01

  Oh, you should've seen the squad we assembled at Ryan's.

• 34:12Matt McCusker?

  I'm sure. And they're right here.

• 34:15Speaker 01

  We had a rough squad.

• 34:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 34:17Speaker 01

  It was a girl.

• 34:18Matt McCusker?

  Okay.

• 34:19Speaker 01

  So they're the, they're the ones that are like, this is a problem.

• 34:22Matt McCusker?

  Okay.

• 34:22Speaker 01

  Like a guy, you can be like, dude, get the fuck out of here.

• 34:24Matt McCusker?

  Right.

• 34:25Speaker 01

  If they're, if they're like hammered and being like rude, this was a girl that was just like, kept taking her phone out and sticking it in my face and just like, come on, make a fucking TikTok with me. And I was like, you gotta stop. And then Chris kept taking her phone and dropping it into the other booth. And she's like, ah.

• 34:41Matt McCusker?

  Oh, man.

• 34:42Speaker 01

  Chris, stop, stop.

• 34:43Matt McCusker?

  That is, yeah, the women are sometimes the most aggressive, like the, the one that was.

• 34:47Speaker 00

  They love pretending they don't know what they're doing.

• 34:50Matt McCusker?

  Okay.

• 34:50Speaker 00

  You know?

• 34:51Matt McCusker?

  But anyway, it's just something that I, you get that experience of like, when I, when I was working out at the gym, which I had to stop doing, cause it's just like, guys would come up.

• 35:00Speaker 01

  Guys, yeah.

• 35:01Matt McCusker?

  We're in a conversation I can't get out of.

• 35:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 35:04Matt McCusker?

  You know?

• 35:06Speaker 02

  So you're, you're equating that to being a hot chick and having to go through.

• 35:08Speaker 01

  If you go to a bar and having everybody.

• 35:10Matt McCusker?

  Everybody in your face and whatever.

• 35:11Speaker 01

  But, no, hot chicks are, yeah, they got it worse. It's a hundred percent the whole time.

• 35:18Matt McCusker?

  Right.

• 35:18Speaker 01

  Every, outside of the bar.

• 35:20Matt McCusker?

  Right.

• 35:21Speaker 01

  Walking down the street and your friend's dad is going.

• 35:26Speaker 01

  You're 13 and a guy's fucking staring at your tits.

• 35:28Matt McCusker?

  Right.

• 35:29Speaker 01

  That's, that's, yeah, that's weird.

• 35:31Matt McCusker?

  It's just a totally different reality.

• 35:34Speaker 00

  The worst, I, I don't get it that much, but if I'm, some like, if I'm hungover as hell.

• 35:39Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 35:40Speaker 00

  Unshowered, stinky, just trying to get, grab a coffee, just trying to slip it.

• 35:44Matt McCusker?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Dude, real quick, gotta tell you guys about this.

• 35:49Speaker 01

  I like this.

• 35:49Matt McCusker?

  I like that too. AG1, the healthy stuff I've been drinking recently. Still just one scoop, once a day. Vitamins, minerals, probiotics, all this stuff my actual diet doesn't provide. Mix is great, doesn't taste like a fistfight, package travel easily if you're on the road doing shows or just too lazy to measure anything out, which dude, come on. They also recently came out with AG1 Pro, the same foundation, but with creatine in one simple delicious drink. So if you're someone who trains a lot or wants to get more impact out of your stack, this one might be worth checking out. So hurry up and go to drink AG1.com slash secret pod and for a limited time only,

• 36:31Matt McCusker?

  get a free immune support bundle, including omega three, fish oil and vitamin D three plus K two with your first subscription to AG one next gen or AG one pro. That's drink AG1.com slash secret pod.

• 36:44Speaker 01

  This episode is brought to you by Quince.

• 36:46Matt McCusker?

  Nice.

• 36:47Speaker 01

  What do you know about Quince?

• 36:48Matt McCusker?

  I love Quince. I'll be, I'll be honest. They sent me the stuff and I, their boxers, they use like cotton, like regular materials, not a lot of polyesters, natural fibers. I'm a big fan.

• 36:58Speaker 01

  Well, not everyone wants to spend forever on the perfect look. Quince gets that. It's why they make staple pieces for your wardrobe that go with pretty much anything. They're, they're really easy to style and they feel great to wear because they're also made with premium materials, including like you said, organic cotton, merino wool. There's even a hundred percent Mongolian cashmere sweaters, starting at just $60. That's, I mean, talk about a deal.

• 37:24Matt McCusker?

  It's pretty crazy.

• 37:24Speaker 01

  That's a bargain.

• 37:26Matt McCusker?

  Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com, get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks you where you heard about them, let them know it was Matt and Shane's secret podcast. It's the best way to support the show.

• 37:49Speaker 01

  And the business is like, hey, can we get a picture of you for our Instagram page? You're like, yeah, fuck it. Yeah. It's the worst. They have it on the wall. Next time you're there, you're just dark red face. Like, oh shit.

• 38:04Matt McCusker?

  You're so gracious about it.

• 38:05Speaker 01

  I don't know how people are not.

• 38:07Matt McCusker?

  You have to be, right?

• 38:09Speaker 01

  It's not that you have to be. It's just what other, what are you, a fucking psycho?

• 38:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 38:12Speaker 01

  Somebody comes up and they're like, a big fan of tires.

• 38:14Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 38:15Speaker 01

  Can we get a picture? It's like, absolutely.

• 38:16Matt McCusker?

  Of course. Yeah.

• 38:17Speaker 01

  It's awesome. You know, it's weird to me when people say no, but maybe, maybe I'll get there.

• 38:24Matt McCusker?

  I don't know. I think.

• 38:24Speaker 01

  I don't think I will. I don't, I don't.

• 38:26Matt McCusker?

  You think you'd be there already?

• 38:27Speaker 01

  I don't like, yeah.

• 38:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Saying no would like ruin my night.

• 38:31Speaker 01

  I'd feel so bad.

• 38:31Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 38:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:34Speaker 01

  Anyway, Phil, how do you handle it? Cause now you're a big man.

• 38:37Speaker 02

  No.

• 38:38Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, you are. You're tossing out tickets left and right to all my shows.

• 38:42Speaker 02

  Well, I can't get rid of them. Kick your.

• 38:47Speaker 01

  That's crazy to do that and then be like, ah, they're not selling. Today, you gave out six tickets to this.

• 38:54Speaker 02

  I'm going to tonight.

• 38:55Speaker 01

  I can't give tickets to my friends.

• 38:57Speaker 02

  Your friends are already, they already know you're, they, they know what you're like and seen you and hang out with you. These are some other people that are nice people and they went to buy tickets.

• 39:07Speaker 01

  Talking to the mic, talking to the mic.

• 39:09Speaker 02

  Yeah. So they didn't have a chance to buy tickets. I mean, I guess it sold out real quick and it's a small venue and you don't get near Mechanicsburg, Harrisburg too often anymore. So I said, I'll give Gracie a call and see what she can do.

• 39:26Speaker 00

  Expanding the fan base.

• 39:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:28Speaker 01

  Yeah. And he's not. He's giving out tickets to guys from the local bar. That's all he does. There's fucking five of these guys at every show. They're in my green room.

• 39:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 39:36Speaker 01

  I get, I get done with the show and I go, those are the guys from Mechanicsburg.

• 39:39Speaker 00

  But he's gotta be able to do that. That's community stuff.

• 39:41Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 39:42Speaker 01

  If it's a huge, if it's a big venue, I'm all for it.

• 39:44Speaker 00

  Right.

• 39:45Speaker 01

  Tonight's like a hundred fifty, two hundred seats.

• 39:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:50Speaker 01

  It's a lot.

• 39:51Speaker 02

  It's, I said, I said, put them in the back or have them stand. That's, that's, that's what I said to Grace.

• 39:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 39:56Speaker 02

  They, they just wanted to get in, you know?

• 39:59Speaker 01

  Yeah. Well, that's all right. I, I appreciate what you know.

• 40:01Speaker 00

  Did they get fired up getting into the show?

• 40:03Speaker 02

  Huh?

• 40:04Speaker 00

  Did they get fired up when they get into the show?

• 40:05Speaker 01

  No, his friends, they don't give a fuck.

• 40:07Speaker 00

  They don't?

• 40:08Speaker 01

  They come to the show, they go, yeah, it was good.

• 40:10Speaker 02

  No, they, they like it. They like it.

• 40:12Speaker 01

  And they take all my beer and they go, that's how I knew you were back on the booze, by the way. Did I tell you that?

• 40:17Speaker 02

  Uh-uh.

• 40:17Speaker 01

  Uh, I think it might've been Pittsburgh or something. Some of your boys from the bar were at the show. And I was, they were like, how's your dad doing? And I was like, he's good. He's, he'd lost a lot of weight. That's, you know, whatever. That's in the past now, but. That's quick turnaround, dude.

• 40:35Speaker 02

  Yeah. I went up a weight class.

• 40:37Speaker 01

  He's lost it. Yeah, he went down, you fought middleweight for, for a week and then.

• 40:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was getting beat up, so I went back up.

• 40:45Speaker 01

  But, uh, no, I was like, it's good. He's, he's healthy and he's not drinking, which is great. And they were like. We were at the bar with him last night. That motherfucker.

• 40:53Speaker 02

  No, I didn't. I didn't, uh, I didn't have a drink for over a hundred and, a hundred and some days.

• 40:58Speaker 00

  Whoa.

• 40:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:59Speaker 02

  After my surgery, yeah.

• 41:00Speaker 00

  Right.

• 41:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, I didn't even wanna drink it, nothing. But, things change.

• 41:06Speaker 01

  It's football season.

• 41:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, football season. Pretty soon it'll be NBA's coming on, you know?

• 41:10Speaker 01

  And then, you know, there's no sports on, we're, fuck, what are we gonna watch?

• 41:13Speaker 00

  No.

• 41:13Speaker 03

  That's my problem. Like, if I could take time off of it, I go, I don't even need this. And then I have it one night and I go, why every single night now?

• 41:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:25Speaker 02

  But anyhow.

• 41:26Speaker 00

  Sucks.

• 41:26Speaker 01

  It's kind of a spectrum on this couch.

• 41:30Speaker 01

  That's the spectrum.

• 41:31Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. We had a three-game stretch.

• 41:34Speaker 01

  Me and Chris had a nice road trip, three days straight.

• 41:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:37Speaker 01

  That was tough. I'm, yeah, I'm regretting, I'm regretting this Tuesday night. We're gonna have a couple of drinks tonight, but Friday, Friday was wonderful. Saturday was wonderful.

• 41:48Speaker 00

  Saturday was wonderful.

• 41:49Speaker 01

  But Sunday was.

• 41:51Speaker 02

  Sunday was the one you should have skipped.

• 41:52Speaker 01

  Sunday was definitely one we should have skipped. And we knew from the start.

• 41:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:58Speaker 01

  That it was exactly where it was gonna go. And we kept talking to ourselves like, alright, we're not gonna drink, we're gonna just get lunch.

• 42:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 42:05Speaker 01

  Then we're, we leave lunch and it's like, alright, let's go to the fucking pub, we'll have two. And watch the first half of the game.

• 42:11Speaker 00

  Right.

• 42:11Speaker 01

  Then I gotta leave, I gotta train to catch. Three beers and we go, ooh, I'm starting to feel like myself again when we're back. Yeah, it was a good night though.

• 42:21Speaker 00

  For your, yeah, for the dies cast.

• 42:24Speaker 01

  For the dies. It's, it's out of our hands.

• 42:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 42:26Speaker 01

  There's nothing we can do.

• 42:27Speaker 00

  Going down the bad road, yeah.

• 42:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, that's kinda pathetic and sad, but fuck it, what's not?

• 42:35Speaker 00

  It was nice at the time.

• 42:36Speaker 01

  It was great.

• 42:37Speaker 03

  Bringing people out to a show. I remember there was, uh, back, back when I was doing stand-up, the, I was opening for Paul Mooney. I was like, the guy that opened for Paul Mooney at helium.

• 42:46Speaker 01

  That's crazy.

• 42:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:47Speaker 01

  He's so funny.

• 42:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's awesome.

• 42:51Speaker 03

  He, he is, he, he's, yeah. I would, he's not somebody I would like go back and listen to that much.

• 42:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 42:57Speaker 01

  You, yeah, I'd like, I like his appearances though on like, radio and like, he's just bothering people.

• 43:02Speaker 00

  Right.

• 43:03Speaker 01

  And it worked on me. The first couple of times I heard him, I was like, this fucking racist motherfucker. Like, it worked on me. I was like, this guy fucking hates white people, ah! And then you get older and you realize he's literally just fucking with people. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure he didn't like white people, but it's funny.

• 43:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean.

• 43:19Speaker 01

  Anyway, you were.

• 43:20Speaker 03

  Liked me enough to bring me back. But so there was a hairdresser that I liked, so I had invited her out.

• 43:27Speaker 01

  To the Paul Mooney Show.

• 43:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I didn't know too much about him and then she brought a guy, which was

• 43:35Speaker 03

  pretty horrible. And then he, I forget exactly what he screamed, but he like literally screamed during the show, "You're a fucking racist." And then he got, yeah.

• 43:49Speaker 03

  So it was like kind of a double whammy on me that night.

• 43:51Speaker 01

  Yeah. Did you ever speak to her again?

• 43:53Speaker 03

  Uh, I don't recall. It's been so long.

• 43:56Speaker 01

  That does suck though. You invited a girl to your show and she brought a fucking guy.

• 43:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's, that's, that's wrong.

• 44:01Speaker 03

  Yeah. But I also did it all wrong. I mean, I should have, you know, I've tried to basically,

• 44:06Speaker 01

  You're trying to be a sweetie.

• 44:07Speaker 03

  Joan Gillis, I've tried to be like hang out with her for a while, you know, like go get my haircut for a year and then be like, "Oh, try to come to the show." As opposed to just like, you gotta go right for it.

• 44:16Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's funny when you start doing stand up, that is, like I was like not excited to tell people, but I would drop that. You know what I mean?

• 44:24Speaker 03

  That you're doing it.

• 44:24Speaker 01

  I can imagine just getting a haircut from a cute girl and just being like, "Yeah, I got a show tonight." What do you do? It's like, "I'm a stand up comedian, not a big deal." When she comes to the show, I just bomb.

• 44:36Speaker 03

  Yeah. You gotta use it.

• 44:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:40Speaker 03

  It's hot if it goes well.

• 44:42Speaker 01

  It's hot.

• 44:42Speaker 03

  It's.

• 44:43Speaker 01

  I hate the way you talk.

• 44:44Speaker 03

  It's also, it's also the only thing we have.

• 44:46Speaker 01

  He calls things sexy, he thinks.

• 44:48Speaker 03

  I can't help it. That's my vernacular. I, I got, you know, I have satisfied customers about that. What?

• 44:54Speaker 01

  Stop with the satisfied customers. He has a book about how to go down on women.

• 45:02Speaker 03

  What?

• 45:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, he reads it.

• 45:06Speaker 03

  What?

• 45:06Speaker 02

  Why do you need instructions?

• 45:08Speaker 01

  Well, hold on.

• 45:12Speaker 01

  I don't want to be a part of this at all.

• 45:14Speaker 03

  What do you mean?

• 45:14Speaker 01

  Now, hold on. Let's not talk about it.

• 45:17Speaker 03

  Is Phil saying he's a natural?

• 45:19Speaker 01

  Shut the fuck up. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Shut the fuck up, Chris. Your dad eats pussy. Your dad eats pussy. Ass up. Ass up, dude. Your dad eats pussy ass up for sure.

• 45:30Speaker 03

  I don't think so.

• 45:34Speaker 01

  Phil does not like whatever, shut the fuck up.

• 45:35Speaker 03

  My dad would go, what the hell are you talking about? He wouldn't be like, who needs a book?

• 45:40Speaker 01

  I bet he would. Any single guy, any single guy would go, ew, you read a book? The book, now the worst is the red lighting.

• 45:50Speaker 03

  Hold on a second.

• 45:50Speaker 01

  He has lighting, Phil, he changes his bedroom lighting to red.

• 45:56Speaker 03

  Okay, hold on a second.

• 45:56Speaker 01

  On his phone, he goes, Alexa, make it Chinatown.

• 46:01Speaker 03

  Hold on, hang on.

• 46:02Speaker 01

  He calls it Chinatown.

• 46:03Speaker 03

  No, hold on, now.

• 46:07Speaker 01

  Isn't that fucking nuts?

• 46:08Speaker 03

  Breathe heavy, hold on a second. The, the red lights is a real thing, however, they're not like auxiliary lights that I'm setting up. Don't get mad about it, people do, you could literally Google it, that it's a thing.

• 46:20Speaker 01

  And plays techno.

• 46:21Speaker 03

  No, I don't play techno.

• 46:22Speaker 01

  You told me you played techno.

• 46:23Speaker 03

  I said I like to, I like to, I tried it one time, it doesn't work. Hold on, we're gonna go.

• 46:31Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 46:31Speaker 01

  It's fucking crazy.

• 46:33Speaker 03

  It is crazy, I agree with that.

• 46:34Speaker 01

  It's so crazy.

• 46:35Speaker 03

  I agree, that doesn't work, cuz the, what I found.

• 46:38Speaker 01

  It scares the fuck out of them. It's a fucking hinge date and you go, Alexa, make it Chinatown.

• 46:45Speaker 03

  Don't do that.

• 46:46Speaker 01

  Hey Siri, can you play Nine Inch Nails? That's fucking crazy.

• 46:50Speaker 03

  Alright, hang on, I don't do it.

• 46:52Speaker 01

  Especially cuz you're like a sweater golf guy.

• 46:55Speaker 03

  Well, that's, so I think that.

• 46:57Speaker 01

  There's a little freak in there.

• 46:57Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 46:58Speaker 01

  And you like that, you think that's sexy.

• 47:00Speaker 03

  I do.

• 47:00Speaker 01

  You like Fifty Shades of Grey.

• 47:02Speaker 03

  Hold on, let's go back for a second.

• 47:04Speaker 00

  Did you ever play any Motown?

• 47:06Speaker 03

  I haven't played Motown.

• 47:09Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 47:11Speaker 01

  I'll give you that, it's very funny.

• 47:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:15Speaker 03

  But, but my dad and you are fans of Motown.

• 47:19Speaker 00

  I definitely am.

• 47:21Speaker 03

  We'll come back to it, so.

• 47:23Speaker 01

  I'll give it to you, I'd be doing the same.

• 47:25Speaker 03

  The techno music, I, I tried one time, I told you that, it doesn't work because the, the buildup. It, it, it.

• 47:34Speaker 00

  Motown doesn't work cuz, or the techno?

• 47:35Speaker 03

  The techno.

• 47:36Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 47:37Speaker 03

  Cuz it's, it's, you know, lovemaking is like a story unfolding, this is like playing.

• 47:44Speaker 01

  Tell you what, I'm putting out some short stories.

• 47:49Speaker 00

  A lot of haikus.

• 47:53Speaker 01

  A lot of haikus, you go, and I'm done.

• 48:02Matt McCusker?

  Right. We're gonna take a quick break from the show now because we've got something for the sports lovers out there. This is a special segment called More or Less and it's brought to you by PrizePix. You and I make decisions every day. Like right now, we're all thinking about what to buy for whom and whether we really want to hang out with that weird cousin again this holiday season. But on PrizePix, being right can get you paid. Yep, the holidays come with so much sports action and on PrizePix, whether you're a football fan, a basketball fan, or a fan of both like me, it always feels good to be right. Now let's get into this. Who's looking good and who is on the sports naughty list right now? All right,

• 48:46Matt McCusker?

  please begin with your picks. And they said, make sure these players are playing this week. Obviously, there's a ton of football. This is what I'm excited about right now, guys. Ton of football on Thanksgiving. I'm focusing on the Green Bay Packers right now. I'm thinking Romeo Doobes. More. But then you have Matthew Golden and I'm going, hmm, less. Same name as me. That's not a good sign. Who else do we have here? Ooh, Luke Musgrave? More. I'm thinking more for old Luke Musgrave for sure. And then we have Jordan Love and I mean, let's be honest, guys, less. So yeah, those are my picks. Personally, you can disagree.

• 49:30Matt McCusker?

  That's fine. That's what I love about sports. It's just guys can come together and you know, talk about stuff like this. But that's where I'm coming from. So I'd love to hear your guys' drop some comments below about your comments about who's gonna be more or who's gonna be less. Cause you know, this is the sports naughty list right now.

• 49:52Matt McCusker?

  Okay, so that's our take. Now it's time to lock in yours. And what better time because new feature alert, PrizePix now has early payouts. And if your lineup gets off to a hot start, you may now have the option to cash out those winnings before the game even finishes. Download the app today and use code DRENCHED to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. That's code DRENCHED to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. PrizePix, it's good to be right.

• 50:22Speaker 03

  So anyway.

• 50:25Speaker 01

  Where did you get that that lovemaking is like a story? Cause that has to be in one of your books.

• 50:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 50:33Speaker 03

  There's a book called, I think this one's called Come As You Are. It's written to women.

• 50:38Speaker 01

  It's all puns about coming. The other one's she comes first.

• 50:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know. I'm not naming them, Shane. I'm looking at Reddit and asking Reddit, what are good books about lovemaking or you know, whatever this? And then they.

• 50:52Speaker 01

  That's where you want to go for sex tips?

• 50:54Speaker 03

  Why not?

• 50:55Speaker 01

  The guys from Reddit. Those pussy hounds on Reddit.

• 50:59Speaker 03

  So what's the, what's the Come As You Are is like written for women that struggle with, you know, or it should be.

• 51:11Speaker 03

  Are there testimonials in the?

• 51:13Speaker 02

  I didn't think the conversation was heading in that direction or I really wouldn't be participating.

• 51:18Speaker 01

  I understand. That's just what he does.

• 51:20Speaker 03

  That's what I do.

• 51:22Speaker 01

  Keep going though. What are you doing?

• 51:23Speaker 03

  No, then well, I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable.

• 51:25Speaker 01

  That's kind of the whole point.

• 51:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm not going to be staying that much longer, but anyhow, when we were, when we were in Pittsburgh last week for the, for the football games, we stayed at the William Penn Omni.

• 51:38Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 51:38Speaker 02

  And they put us up in this suite because friends of ours had a connection. It was fantastic.

• 51:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 51:47Speaker 02

  It really was.

• 51:50Speaker 02

  Oh, the William Penn Omni is beautiful. Historic hotel downtown Pittsburgh. And what had happened is they have what's called the Governor's Suite and they converted to the Santa Suite. In November, and the first night we were there, November fourteenth, we walk in and there's all kinds, everything is Santa. They got his boots laying there.

• 52:11Speaker 01

  Oh, that's nice.

• 52:11Speaker 02

  They got gingerbread men out. They've got shower curtains changed, everything, the bed sheets, and there's two extra common rooms. So there was like two thousand square feet of hotel that we had for three nights.

• 52:25Speaker 01

  That's really great.

• 52:26Speaker 02

  And it was, it was fantastic.

• 52:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:28Speaker 02

  I just wanted to get away from what he was talking about.

• 52:31Speaker 01

  That's fine.

• 52:31Speaker 03

  First of all, what he was talking about, he was the one.

• 52:34Speaker 01

  I get it. He says him and he is open about this stuff.

• 52:38Speaker 02

  You read a lot.

• 52:38Speaker 03

  I, well, about certain, he, he's at fault here.

• 52:42Speaker 01

  It is fun though.

• 52:42Speaker 03

  What are you looking at me for? He's the one, he's the instigator.

• 52:45Speaker 02

  Is he?

• 52:46Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 52:47Speaker 00

  He lit the fuse.

• 52:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:48Speaker 00

  He made you an offer.

• 52:49Speaker 01

  I, I regretted the fuse. I also regretted the fuse.

• 52:53Speaker 00

  You didn't regret?

• 52:54Speaker 01

  Yeah. That's not what I want.

• 52:55Speaker 00

  I would like to stay in a Santa hotel room though, that'd be, that'd be nice.

• 52:58Speaker 02

  It's unbelievable.

• 52:59Speaker 00

  How big were the boots?

• 53:01Speaker 02

  Um, the, actually, the guy, the guy that was, uh, taking our luggage out actually thought we left the boots like they were ours. So he brings the boots down to put them in the car. I said, buddy, no, that's, that's part of, that's part of the room. They're not mine, they're Santa's. Yeah.

• 53:18Speaker 01

  You saw the Pitt Notre Dame game. What'd you think of that, Phil?

• 53:21Speaker 02

  Um, I thought, uh.

• 53:23Speaker 01

  Was Hunter able to say what's up to you?

• 53:25Speaker 02

  Who?

• 53:26Speaker 01

  Hunter Bivin?

• 53:26Speaker 02

  I didn't see him there.

• 53:27Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 53:28Speaker 02

  I didn't see him there.

• 53:28Speaker 01

  You told me to get the word out that you were there.

• 53:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was looking for him. I didn't see him. I saw.

• 53:32Speaker 01

  Phil acts like he's not like a glory hound. He's a complete glory hound.

• 53:35Speaker 02

  No, we had.

• 53:36Speaker 01

  You guys have a lot in common as far as.

• 53:38Speaker 02

  No, my, my, my friends set, set us up with great seats right behind the Notre Dame bench on the forty, forty-five yard line. We were three rows from the, from the, the wall.

• 53:48Speaker 01

  Phil texts me, he goes, let, let them know I'm here.

• 53:50Speaker 00

  Let the world know.

• 53:51Speaker 02

  Well, they're nice guys.

• 53:53Speaker 01

  Hunter, Hunter would have said what's up.

• 53:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, and I saw Ron Paulus and some of the other guys, but I didn't have a chance to say hello. They probably wouldn't know me.

• 53:59Speaker 01

  They didn't know you. They'd remember you from the commercial.

• 54:02Speaker 02

  Anyhow, so we saw that, uh, Pitt Notre Dame on Saturday, and then Sunday we saw the Steelers and the Bengals play. And that was, uh, you know, just.

• 54:10Speaker 01

  Wait, was that, that wasn't Flacco versus Rogers, was it?

• 54:13Speaker 00

  That was an incredible game.

• 54:14Speaker 01

  You were there for that?

• 54:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:15Speaker 01

  Oh, that's awesome.

• 54:16Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah, but Rogers got hurt. And then the, uh, the other guy came in and he did a great job. But, uh, that was fun. I was, I was amazed, truthfully, at how much support those Steeler fans give that team.

• 54:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 54:31Speaker 02

  I mean, that stadium, they are 100% for the Steelers and they cheer every play.

• 54:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 54:37Speaker 02

  Even though, you know, people may not like this or that, they support that team. I, I would love to play for the Steelers after. I mean, seriously, as far as an NFL team, I would love to go to Pittsburgh and play for the Steelers. They really do a great job with them. So.

• 54:53Speaker 00

  Never, I've always wanted to see a game in that stadium. I've never seen a game in this.

• 54:56Speaker 01

  I don't think I've ever seen the Steelers play.

• 54:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:00Speaker 01

  How about that?

• 55:02Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 55:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, I don't think I have either.

• 55:04Speaker 01

  We gotta get out there.

• 55:05Speaker 00

  Those are the best fan bases, though.

• 55:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, they are. They're small towns.

• 55:08Speaker 00

  Cincinnati's got a good fan base.

• 55:10Speaker 02

  Green Bay.

• 55:11Speaker 00

  Buffalo's, yeah.

• 55:12Speaker 01

  Green Bay, Buffalo's great.

• 55:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:14Speaker 01

  The Eagles are great.

• 55:15Speaker 00

  Eagles are great.

• 55:16Speaker 01

  Eagles are such a fun fan base.

• 55:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:18Speaker 01

  They're like an evil version of the Bills mafia.

• 55:21Speaker 00

  Evil version?

• 55:22Speaker 01

  They really are. They're just the fucking devil.

• 55:25Speaker 02

  Well.

• 55:25Speaker 01

  It's fun, though.

• 55:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, they, they sort of had a thuggish reputation, the Eagles fans.

• 55:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's fun.

• 55:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I think they're getting away from that because they raised ticket prices so much that some of the.

• 55:40Speaker 00

  The riffraff?

• 55:40Speaker 02

  Some of the, well, I'm gonna say that.

• 55:41Speaker 01

  They're outside, they're outside of the stadium.

• 55:42Speaker 02

  Oh, they're outside, they're not going in.

• 55:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 55:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:45Speaker 01

  I went there once, we, I went there, saw the Eagles Niners a few years ago. I, I, I went into the game, I had $9 to my name. I bought a Bud Light, it was nine bucks. I was like, fuck, I have $0, I don't know. I went with, uh, it was Big Jay and Soder. And they were like, do you want to come to this game with us? And I was like, yeah, fuck yeah. And, uh, they were like, here, we got you tickets, you can't say, we don't have any more with us. You're up in the. I was up in the nosebleeds with Big Jay's sister and brother-in-law. Just me and them, freezing. It was cold and rainy. I got one beer. I was like, well.

• 56:19Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 56:21Speaker 01

  Down to zero dollars, I'm getting back to West Philly.

• 56:25Speaker 03

  Unreal.

• 56:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:27Speaker 03

  And I always, I've told this story a thousand times, but when you were overdrafting Chipotle.

• 56:32Speaker 01

  Love how you say it.

• 56:33Speaker 03

  What?

• 56:34Speaker 01

  Chipotle.

• 56:34Speaker 03

  Oh, Chipotle, yeah.

• 56:36Speaker 01

  Overdrafting Chipotle, for sure.

• 56:37Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 56:38Speaker 01

  But the reason I brought that up is because the riffraffers still outside. Some of my buddies are like Philly trash and they were out there, they're snorting shit off their dashboard. Their tailgate was like, let's snort oxies. No, thanks. Yeah, they're getting after it. Couple of pain pills in the parking lot.

• 56:55Speaker 03

  Oh my, I'd cry if I had to be around, if I had to.

• 56:59Speaker 01

  I'll tell you what, I wasn't too comfortable.

• 57:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:02Speaker 01

  Watching guys snort pain pills.

• 57:06Speaker 01

  Let's go Eagles!

• 57:07Speaker 03

  Right, you know, what's gonna happen?

• 57:08Speaker 02

  Game's not for two hours.

• 57:10Speaker 01

  You're gonna get tired, you're gonna not feel your body and go into Xfinity Live and try to fight someone.

• 57:17Speaker 02

  Ride the bull, just get locked off the bull.

• 57:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's, no, they're still there. They're not going anywhere.

• 57:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's tough getting back to your car.

• 57:26Speaker 01

  There's a new class of plumbers snorting pills out there.

• 57:29Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 57:30Speaker 01

  Waiting for somebody in another jersey.

• 57:35Speaker 01

  The fuck is that?

• 57:40Speaker 02

  No, it was a great weekend though, it was.

• 57:43Speaker 01

  That's good. What do you got next, Phil? What's going on? What do you got on the docket? I know your knee's bothering you. I might, I might send you down to Austin and get some stem cells in there.

• 57:50Speaker 02

  I took a shot of Cortisone yesterday, it's helped me.

• 57:53Speaker 01

  It's helping?

• 57:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:55Speaker 01

  Oh, you got, Steve's got arthritis.

• 57:56Speaker 03

  Yeah. I haven't gotten Cortisone yet though, because it's apparently only so many you can get of those.

• 58:02Speaker 02

  Well, at my age, they can give me one of these.

• 58:06Speaker 03

  Load it up.

• 58:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 58:09Speaker 02

  But yeah, I definitely noticed a difference and she said it could take two or three days before you really notice a difference and she said sometimes it'll last for a couple of weeks, sometimes a couple of months and sometimes several years. Depends on the individual, they don't really know how to, to determine that, so.

• 58:26Speaker 01

  The science is out.

• 58:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:28Speaker 01

  How about, uh, would you get stem cells? I don't know what the fuck they do, but.

• 58:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, I'd have to do some research on it.

• 58:37Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 58:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 58:38Speaker 01

  If your knee's fucked up.

• 58:39Speaker 00

  They work, right?

• 58:40Speaker 01

  I think they work. These guys are good at, the people in Austin are the people who did Rogers Achilles.

• 58:46Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah?

• 58:47Speaker 01

  Yeah. We can get you in there.

• 58:48Speaker 00

  Whoa.

• 58:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 58:50Speaker 02

  I don't know what it does. I mean, right now, the guy that, I had a torn meniscus. He operated on it and then said, there's a lot of arthritis in there.

• 58:58Speaker 01

  It's so funny, if I sent Phil down there, they'd just kill him.

• 59:02Speaker 01

  Stem cells, we don't know what the fuck this shit does.

• 59:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, I want him to.

• 59:05Speaker 01

  Just kills him right away.

• 59:06Speaker 02

  It, it, it, it never really improved my knee. It did briefly, but in the last two months, it's just been killing me. And plus, I'm coaching basketball, so I'm walking on it all the time. Even driving the car. I mean, I can't, if, if it's positioned incorrectly, it just, pain shooting through my knee. Wakes me up at night constantly. I can't, I have to.

• 59:27Speaker 01

  That's really terrible.

• 59:28Speaker 02

  It, it sucks. It really does. So that's why I took the cortisone shot. I, I do have a, an appointment in December with a surgeon. Into the mic, yes.

• 59:40Speaker 02

  Some, my voice carries.

• 59:41Speaker 01

  Some guys aren't for showbiz, Phil.

• 59:43Speaker 00

  I think I'm getting like a hip thing. I think I got like a hip pointer.

• 59:46Speaker 01

  I think you and me are drinking and.

• 59:47Speaker 00

  That's what I'm saying.

• 59:48Speaker 01

  I think you and me are falling asleep on things.

• 59:50Speaker 00

  I drank my way into a sports injury.

• 59:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:52Speaker 01

  I'll wake up with just a dead arm. Just passed out on it.

• 59:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 59:56Speaker 01

  Fuck.

• 59:57Speaker 00

  That happened a couple of times in my twenties, woken up.

• 1:00:00Speaker 01

  Oh, you were falling asleep on your arm?

• 1:00:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, and woke up with like the deadest arms I've ever felt in my life. It was just like, this has to be permanent.

• 1:00:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:08Speaker 00

  This has to be a permanent injury. This has got to be like nerve damage.

• 1:00:11Speaker 01

  Phil, the last time I was here, you were fucking hammered.

• 1:00:13Speaker 02

  When?

• 1:00:16Speaker 02

  No, when? Seriously?

• 1:00:16Speaker 01

  That's crazy. First of all, that's very funny.

• 1:00:18Speaker 02

  When?

• 1:00:19Speaker 01

  Uh, we got home, were you there?

• 1:00:21Speaker 00

  I don't think so.

• 1:00:22Speaker 01

  We got home late. I don't think you expected us until the morning. You thought you were all safe up on that deck by yourself. We opened the door and Phil goes, hey, guys, how are you? Like, damn, you were getting wasted out here.

• 1:00:35Speaker 02

  That was after the golf tournament.

• 1:00:36Speaker 01

  No, it was the day before. You were out there getting ripped.

• 1:00:42Speaker 02

  Well, if you can't do it at your own home, where can you?

• 1:00:44Speaker 01

  And then he went and got a Kit Kat bar before bedtime.

• 1:00:46Speaker 00

  Ooh, that's good.

• 1:00:48Speaker 01

  I saw him reach to the candy drawer on the way, on the way up to bed. He ate a fucking Kit Kat bar.

• 1:00:53Speaker 02

  What's wrong with that?

• 1:00:55Speaker 01

  Candy bar before bed and then he was in the hallway. I was like, Phil, you gotta be quiet. He was like, shh. He was like laughing.

• 1:01:04Speaker 02

  Ah, don't make things up.

• 1:01:07Speaker 00

  I'm, I, yeah, but I, I don't, I don't really go for candy when I'm boozing. More of a chicken parm.

• 1:01:14Speaker 01

  Chicken parm's crazy.

• 1:01:15Speaker 00

  Taco Bell kinda guy.

• 1:01:16Speaker 01

  I speak my language.

• 1:01:19Speaker 01

  I don't know how you're getting chicken parm. Well, what time are you drunk? We was making chicken parm at that hour.

• 1:01:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, well, at least in Philly, there were a couple of late night spots that stay open. You can get a chicken parm at any hour of the night.

• 1:01:30Speaker 01

  You get, you get greedy at night with the grub.

• 1:01:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:01:34Speaker 01

  This guy would order a thousand Big Macs. Eat four of them in one sitting. He'd watch him do it. Didn't even take a breath.

• 1:01:41Speaker 00

  Two Big Ma- two Big Macs was the move.

• 1:01:42Speaker 01

  Two Big Macs was crazy.

• 1:01:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:01:46Speaker 01

  But I was reaping all the benefits. He would pass out. There's a third Big Mac in here.

• 1:01:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:52Speaker 00

  Yeah. I think there was a lot of times I only ate one Big Mac and I'd come out and I'd be like, I ate two Big Macs last night? And you were like, yeah, man, it was nuts.

• 1:02:00Speaker 01

  Ah, I think that was three. You definitely ate two. You always ate two.

• 1:02:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:02:06Speaker 01

  That's good stuff. What else? What else? What else do we got here, Phil? You wanna tell us a fun, uh, fight story? You ever beat anybody up?

• 1:02:12Speaker 02

  Nope.

• 1:02:12Speaker 01

  You ever, why not?

• 1:02:13Speaker 02

  Nope.

• 1:02:17Speaker 00

  Clean sheet.

• 1:02:18Speaker 01

  Any funny, uh, childhood stories? Yeah.

• 1:02:21Speaker 02

  How about the, the story when I, I had to walk that girl home?

• 1:02:25Speaker 01

  I don't know about it.

• 1:02:26Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, I don't even know if you were born then, but this sticks out in my mind as one of the funnier stories. We lived, uh, about 10 miles from here, or five miles from here. And back then in the mid eighties, we had a landline, you know, phone. Okay, so I would answer this phone and say, hello, Gillises. And I would hear this.

• 1:02:54Speaker 02

  Like this pervert on the other end and I would just go nuts. I'd say, you son of a, if I ever find out who you are, I'm going to kill you. Cause Katie and Sarah were both like six and seven at the time and, and Joan, you know, she was, uh, you know, still hot and so I, I'm thinking there's some perverts just watching what's going on here and I don't know if they're after the girls or after Joan, but and then like a week later, I'd pick up the phone and say, hello, Gillis is, and I'd hear this.

• 1:03:28Speaker 02

  Like yes, and I say, and I would swear, I'd go nuts.

• 1:03:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:32Speaker 02

  So this went on for like six weeks, like once a week. And then one Sunday afternoon, Sarah's girlfriend comes up in a baby stroller and she's some little overweight Greek kid. All right. So Joan, Joan says to me about three hours later, will you walk her home? All right. Because she was putting Katie and Sarah, getting them in the baths or whatever. So I said, sure. So I start walking with this kid and she's got her baby carriage and we walk and I take about 10 steps and I hear this.

• 1:04:09Speaker 02

  I go, it's you, isn't it? The kid had asthma. I didn't know it. Every time I answered the phone, I scared her so much, she would never say anything. And then I'm swearing at him. And that's what I was saying. Yeah, that's, that's a true story, that poor kid.

• 1:04:25Speaker 01

  That's great. I remember when Mike Conley hit puberty. That was a tough one.

• 1:04:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:28Speaker 01

  My buddy, Mike hit puberty like real early. He would call me like, is she in there?

• 1:04:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:33Speaker 01

  And they're like, who is this? You fucking pervert?

• 1:04:38Speaker 01

  We had to, we had to stop. He wasn't allowed to play football with us anymore. We'd, we'd hide our backyard football games from him.

• 1:04:44Speaker 02

  Cause he was just that.

• 1:04:44Speaker 01

  He was a fucking monster. He would kill us. Yeah.

• 1:04:47Speaker 03

  My friends had a no jump rule against me when we played basketball.

• 1:04:50Speaker 01

  You were not allowed to shoot?

• 1:04:51Speaker 03

  No, they weren't allowed to jump.

• 1:04:53Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:04:53Speaker 03

  To block because I was so tiny.

• 1:04:55Speaker 01

  That's nice.

• 1:04:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:56Speaker 03

  That is nice. Yeah.

• 1:04:58Speaker 01

  He got humped by a Down syndrome guy playing basketball.

• 1:05:00Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 1:05:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was just, yeah. Do you want me to tell?

• 1:05:06Speaker 01

  Fuck it, what else are we doing?

• 1:05:10Speaker 03

  We don't have time to do.

• 1:05:11Speaker 01

  No, it's great.

• 1:05:12Speaker 03

  You know, he was just a little overexcited and, you know, sort of tossed me around a little bit.

• 1:05:15Speaker 01

  Here, let me tell them for you.

• 1:05:16Speaker 02

  Would you make a tough shot or something?

• 1:05:18Speaker 01

  No, he was trying to, he, he knew the other, he knew the pretty girls were gonna be at recess watching. And he said.

• 1:05:23Speaker 03

  They were already there.

• 1:05:24Speaker 01

  And he said, watch this, I'm a good guy. I'm gonna help this special needs boy play some basketball.

• 1:05:29Speaker 03

  First of all, I won an award which I sent you a photo of, which is hilarious. What's that?

• 1:05:34Speaker 01

  The nicest guy award?

• 1:05:37Speaker 03

  But do you remember, I was like, I think it was something with Congress, and then it was like a state.

• 1:05:42Speaker 01

  Like I got an award from Congress, it was like a judge from Westchester.

• 1:05:47Speaker 01

  But no, he was trying to show off for the ladies and be like, look how good of a guy.

• 1:05:50Speaker 03

  Wasn't trying to show off for the ladies. My cousin.

• 1:05:52Speaker 01

  You know you were.

• 1:05:53Speaker 03

  Well, it's a byproduct. You know, it wasn't like I sat there and said, how can I get a date in middle school? It was my cousin started doing it at his school, so I was like, that'd be a cool thing to do here.

• 1:06:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:05Speaker 01

  But once he saw ladies watching, you were kind of.

• 1:06:08Speaker 00

  Dude, everyone.

• 1:06:09Speaker 03

  Of course, the man was having it, yeah.

• 1:06:11Speaker 00

  It was all about, are the ladies watching?

• 1:06:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, of course, there's nothing wrong with it, but it's just a funny thing to have backfire.

• 1:06:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:17Speaker 01

  You're trying to be a good guy and the fucking guy starts humping you, they're gonna fucking pull him off.

• 1:06:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, chickie, yeah, he had to pull him off.

• 1:06:23Speaker 01

  Got you.

• 1:06:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:25Speaker 00

  I remember the stress of just like running the mile in gym class.

• 1:06:28Speaker 01

  Oh, bro, you have no idea.

• 1:06:32Speaker 01

  You got no fucking idea.

• 1:06:35Speaker 01

  Nah, that's when you hit the fucking, I'm too cool for this.

• 1:06:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, fuck that, I'm walking, dude, I'm not ready.

• 1:06:40Speaker 03

  Oh, you're walking, wow, the too cool for, it's a great move.

• 1:06:43Speaker 01

  There's no way I'm gonna fucking do that.

• 1:06:45Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:06:45Speaker 01

  Run and lose to a fucking, like, all the girls?

• 1:06:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:50Speaker 01

  Nah, that's, I'm too cool for this.

• 1:06:52Speaker 03

  That's funny.

• 1:06:52Speaker 01

  I'll hit the, I'm too cool for this button. Basketball tryouts, instantly.

• 1:06:57Speaker 03

  Shirts, skins?

• 1:06:58Speaker 01

  You gotta do that, there's no.

• 1:07:00Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:07:00Speaker 01

  You gotta take the skins. You can't, you can't even fight it.

• 1:07:04Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:07:05Speaker 01

  This, you can't even, when they go shirts and skins, you're on skins, in your head, you go, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. You gotta play that cool. You gotta, yeah, fuck it, I'm gonna fuck it, fuck it, who cares? Uh, no, I'm talking about like, uh, once I knew I sucked at basketball, that's when I was like, layup line, tryout, I'm just fucking.

• 1:07:23Speaker 00

  Oh, I see what you're saying.

• 1:07:24Speaker 01

  Launching it against the backboard going,

• 1:07:28Speaker 01

  fuck it, I don't even care. And I'd get home and go, oh, I wish I could play with my friends.

• 1:07:37Speaker 00

  It's so funny.

• 1:07:38Speaker 02

  I sucked so bad at basketball.

• 1:07:40Speaker 00

  Cause yeah, I would just, the cry, I wouldn't go through the cool thing, just go right to the crying.

• 1:07:45Speaker 01

  Skins was tough, but what was nice was there was a couple of guys that had, we were all going through puberty, so they all had, some of the guys just had giant tits. You remember those like puffy nipples kids got?

• 1:07:55Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:07:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:56Speaker 01

  You didn't play enough sports, trust me.

• 1:07:58Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:07:59Speaker 01

  When you go skins, like 20% of the kids have giant fat nipples. So that they distracted everybody. Everybody goes, yo, why do you have tits?

• 1:08:10Speaker 01

  One of my friends nickname was tits. From that.

• 1:08:13Speaker 00

  And it was just puffy nipples?

• 1:08:15Speaker 01

  It's just puffy nipples. He was in perfectly good shape. He was skinny. He just had a rack.

• 1:08:19Speaker 00

  Dude, yeah. I told you I drained them.

• 1:08:22Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, that's the worst, man.

• 1:08:24Speaker 00

  I pierced them.

• 1:08:25Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:08:26Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, I didn't know what, I thought it was growing tits. I was freaking out. I wasn't gonna talk to anyone about it.

• 1:08:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, you can't tell anyone about that.

• 1:08:32Speaker 00

  I was just fucking, I was just like, put a needle in that and drain it.

• 1:08:34Speaker 02

  What happened?

• 1:08:35Speaker 00

  I don't know. I guess I'm maybe a couple of inches shorter than I should have been, but I don't know.

• 1:08:41Speaker 01

  True, that's fucking.

• 1:08:44Speaker 00

  I know. I think that was like important chemistry that I just nuked.

• 1:08:48Speaker 01

  All the power was in your nipples. You were about to be 6'8".

• 1:08:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:53Speaker 00

  But it wasn't worth the risk.

• 1:08:54Speaker 01

  You'd be a problem.

• 1:08:55Speaker 00

  6'8" with tits.

• 1:08:56Speaker 01

  If you were tall, you would have been a real problem.

• 1:08:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:08:58Speaker 01

  You, your build?

• 1:08:59Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:00Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:09:01Speaker 00

  Man, that'd be so fun.

• 1:09:04Speaker 02

  All right, Shane.

• 1:09:06Speaker 01

  You gonna wrap it up?

• 1:09:07Speaker 02

  Gotta wrap it up. Gotta get ready for our basketball.

• 1:09:10Speaker 01

  Okay. You got anything to say? The guys have been waiting for you to be on the pod for.

• 1:09:13Speaker 02

  Well, I don't really know who the guys are.

• 1:09:16Speaker 01

  Everybody.

• 1:09:17Speaker 02

  Everybody, all right.

• 1:09:18Speaker 01

  It's like Fight Club, dude. It's like your fucking, your chef.

• 1:09:22Speaker 02

  Good to be with you today.

• 1:09:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, this is nice. Pop in before Thanksgiving. Good to see everybody.

• 1:09:27Speaker 02

  Yeah. All right, I'm out of here.

• 1:09:31Speaker 01

  All right. We'll, we'll keep going.

• 1:09:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, sure. Where are we at time?

• 1:09:35Speaker 01

  You good?

• 1:09:38Speaker 01

  It's a tough couch to fucking get out of.

• 1:09:42Speaker 01

  This episode is brought to you by Dose. Supporting your liver daily with Dose is one of those small things that can make a huge difference in how you feel overall. You're gonna reduce sluggishness, get rid of midday crashes, support your metabolism, and aid digestion. Plus, it tastes like freshly squeezed orange juice. How about that, Matt? That's nice. Get ready to, uh, or ready to give your liver the support it deserves? Head to dosedaily.co slash MSSP, or enter MSSP to get 41% off your first subscription. I like it. That's great. Yeah. It's good for you. It's good for you. Do it.

• 1:10:16Speaker 03

  Can I just, uh, not to derail what you guys are talking about, but when you were yelling at him like, "You're daddy, eat pussy ass off," I didn't hear that till like the third time he kept saying it.

• 1:10:27Speaker 01

  Chris knew exactly what he was doing. And Phil, Phil hit me with it. That would've hurt. When he was like, "You need a book?" I was like, "I don't know how I didn't think this through." I'm talking about eating pussy with my dad?

• 1:10:40Speaker 01

  That's a fucking crazy thing.

• 1:10:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, I didn't know if you wanted him to dive in or not.

• 1:10:44Speaker 01

  No, absolutely not. Obviously, it would be funny, but I don't need that.

• 1:10:49Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:10:50Speaker 01

  And I'd feel bad for him, you know?

• 1:10:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:53Speaker 01

  I don't think he understands.

• 1:10:55Speaker 03

  Just how many people watch, bro.

• 1:10:58Speaker 01

  What are you doing down there with your fucking friends?

• 1:11:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:11:01Speaker 01

  You weirdos?

• 1:11:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:11:02Speaker 01

  Comes out and is like, "Think, uh, we got a good team this year?"

• 1:11:07Speaker 01

  You know, you can't win without good kids in coaching.

• 1:11:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, to go deep into the pussy eating conversation.

• 1:11:13Speaker 01

  Straight to pussy.

• 1:11:14Speaker 03

  They just pour, they just pour 60 beers on top of that. Wake up tomorrow.

• 1:11:19Speaker 01

  Yeah. Whoa. Yeah, that'd be sad. It'd be nice to take it easy tonight.

• 1:11:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, oh yeah, I'm, I'm taking it easy, dude. I'm, yeah.

• 1:11:29Speaker 01

  You're taking it easy?

• 1:11:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. I got burnt. I, I walked too close. I got too close to the sun.

• 1:11:34Speaker 01

  I, yeah, I gotta stop doing that to you.

• 1:11:36Speaker 03

  I was, yeah.

• 1:11:37Speaker 01

  You can't go into deep waters.

• 1:11:39Speaker 03

  I mean, I've been in the deep.

• 1:11:41Speaker 01

  I, you are.

• 1:11:42Speaker 03

  I've been in the deep, but I.

• 1:11:44Speaker 01

  He goes, yeah, but it's not, he's not built for it.

• 1:11:46Speaker 03

  No. No. No.

• 1:11:50Speaker 00

  Now the wheels come off.

• 1:11:50Speaker 01

  You start going, yeah.

• 1:11:51Speaker 00

  Well, also, your, your depth is so much.

• 1:11:54Speaker 01

  I'm just drinking brewskis.

• 1:11:57Speaker 00

  But they, they're bringing out the green teas.

• 1:11:59Speaker 01

  Green teas are alright.

• 1:12:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, but.

• 1:12:01Speaker 01

  If you have to.

• 1:12:02Speaker 00

  No, I can't, I can't, you know. Once, a single, I can go.

• 1:12:05Speaker 01

  They're alcoholic.

• 1:12:06Speaker 00

  What?

• 1:12:07Speaker 01

  I don't even know what's in there.

• 1:12:08Speaker 00

  Enough. Enough to change.

• 1:12:11Speaker 01

  You start hitting that brown liquor.

• 1:12:12Speaker 00

  The brown is, that's deadly.

• 1:12:14Speaker 01

  That's when he's going for a run.

• 1:12:15Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 1:12:16Speaker 01

  That's when he's fighting, now me and him are fighting.

• 1:12:18Speaker 00

  Right, yeah. That's true. But I, I, I, I don't think I asked for the brown all weekend, but every once in a while, someone's.

• 1:12:26Speaker 01

  Oh, it found its way.

• 1:12:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:12:27Speaker 01

  Somebody offered me a shot, I go, Chris will fucking do it. Yeah.

• 1:12:32Speaker 00

  I was saying no. We said no to a, a twisted tea chug.

• 1:12:38Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. It's an insane offer.

• 1:12:42Speaker 01

  Hey, you want to chug a twisted tea? Oh, no, thank you.

• 1:12:46Speaker 00

  And then they were like, I, I.

• 1:12:48Speaker 01

  Like, come on, I bought it.

• 1:12:49Speaker 00

  I'm gonna look like a dick if you don't do it. It's like, well.

• 1:12:51Speaker 01

  Like, here, we'll film it, chug this. You go, yeah, that's good. Let's get that out there.

• 1:12:58Speaker 01

  My fat neck chugging a fucking, just looking into a camera like, eh, yeah, Wes, Wes, Chester.

• 1:13:06Speaker 01

  Kids would come up, dude, be like, yo, can you shout out fucking Sigma Chi, whatever the fucking frat is?

• 1:13:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:13:11Speaker 01

  I usually say no, but every once in a while, I'm drunk enough to be like, yo, I'm Sigma Chi.

• 1:13:16Speaker 01

  I'm a loser, dude. I get into town, I become a fucking embarrassment.

• 1:13:21Speaker 00

  No, you don't.

• 1:13:22Speaker 01

  It's really embarrassing.

• 1:13:23Speaker 00

  You're so nice about it.

• 1:13:24Speaker 01

  I'm nice to people, but then you hang out, it's too late.

• 1:13:27Speaker 00

  Right.

• 1:13:28Speaker 01

  College bar, and there's a bunch of college kids coming in, be like, Shane.

• 1:13:31Speaker 00

  Just beer, beer breath, right in your face, spitting on you.

• 1:13:35Speaker 01

  Yeah. But I get it, I remember.

• 1:13:37Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 1:13:37Speaker 01

  If I was a college, if I was a college kid, I'd be so happy.

• 1:13:40Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 1:13:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:13:42Speaker 00

  That was a dream.

• 1:13:44Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:13:45Speaker 00

  College, yeah.

• 1:13:46Speaker 01

  Man, it's a dream.

• 1:13:47Speaker 00

  It was a dream.

• 1:13:48Speaker 01

  It was a dream.

• 1:13:48Speaker 00

  We're getting fucking wasted in college. Oh, it was so fun.

• 1:13:52Speaker 01

  Then we might have lost the comment. He went through hell this weekend.

• 1:13:55Speaker 00

  I did, I, yeah.

• 1:13:56Speaker 01

  He's on a different plane. He's ascended.

• 1:14:00Speaker 00

  No, I descended.

• 1:14:01Speaker 01

  He's ascended, dude.

• 1:14:02Speaker 00

  I descended. I need to ascend.

• 1:14:06Speaker 01

  We do, we do.

• 1:14:06Speaker 00

  I need to, I need, I need a big dry out.

• 1:14:09Speaker 01

  You and me are gonna be in complete control. Don't worry. It's only the holiday season.

• 1:14:14Speaker 00

  I need a big drive.

• 1:14:17Speaker 01

  It's only the holiday season. We're probably not gonna be drinking that much and not depressed at all.

• 1:14:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, well, my, my family goes light on the booze, so I can, I can, I can get in.

• 1:14:25Speaker 01

  We'll go, we'll go light at Thanksgiving.

• 1:14:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:14:28Speaker 01

  It's, well, they won't, but I will. I don't like getting drunk in front of them.

• 1:14:33Speaker 00

  No, I guess.

• 1:14:33Speaker 01

  My family?

• 1:14:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:14:36Speaker 01

  No. For real.

• 1:14:38Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah, it's a bad look.

• 1:14:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, especially the way I actually drink.

• 1:14:43Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 1:14:44Speaker 01

  If I showed up and was like, watch this. I'm at twenty-five fucking beers.

• 1:14:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:14:49Speaker 01

  Actually, that would be funny.

• 1:14:50Speaker 00

  They treat it like the medical emergency.

• 1:14:53Speaker 01

  That it is.

• 1:14:55Speaker 00

  It's like, yeah. Like, wait, so what, you're doing this when you're not around? Is this what you're doing? No, this is just.

• 1:15:03Speaker 01

  No, this is for Thanksgiving.

• 1:15:04Speaker 00

  Just I miss you guys.

• 1:15:06Speaker 01

  Just miss you so damn much, I don't wanna remember it. I don't even remember seeing you.

• 1:15:11Speaker 01

  That's good stuff.

• 1:15:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:15:12Speaker 01

  That's fine. We're in complete control. Now, are you excited for tires?

• 1:15:17Speaker 00

  I couldn't be more excited.

• 1:15:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm excited.

• 1:15:19Speaker 00

  It's gonna be so much fun.

• 1:15:20Speaker 01

  I'm excited. It's the best.

• 1:15:22Speaker 00

  It's incredible.

• 1:15:24Speaker 01

  Just filming together, goofing off. You'll get mad. Oh, it's gonna be cold. You're gonna be such a bitch the whole time.

• 1:15:30Speaker 00

  I think I'm gonna be a bitch too. It's cold.

• 1:15:32Speaker 01

  It is cold as fuck in there.

• 1:15:34Speaker 00

  We only got a little lick of the winter last year. We're gonna be in the depths. My understanding is that there's like heating elements outside now and that they're gonna be a little bit better about having places for me to go personally warm up that would not affect your.

• 1:15:48Speaker 01

  You ruin a room.

• 1:15:49Speaker 00

  I, I accidentally, I did that once.

• 1:15:51Speaker 01

  You set it to ninety-five degrees. He does have a nice trick to keep me out of his office.

• 1:15:55Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 1:15:56Speaker 01

  At the writing room, yeah. I go in, I take two steps into the room and I go, oh my god. Get the fuck out of here.

• 1:16:05Speaker 00

  Yeah, I, I, I'm like, cold-blooded. I run, my temperature runs low. I do great in the summer. Yeah.

• 1:16:13Speaker 01

  I like walking around the office and seeing what you guys are up to.

• 1:16:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:16:15Speaker 01

  Walk past yours, you're laying on a inflatable mattress. Walk Chris's asleep on a fucking beanbag.

• 1:16:23Speaker 01

  It's fucking crazy.

• 1:16:24Speaker 00

  Dude.

• 1:16:25Speaker 01

  Everyone's asleep.

• 1:16:25Speaker 00

  Dude.

• 1:16:26Speaker 01

  The whole, the whole staff's asleep.

• 1:16:28Speaker 00

  It's, it's exhausting. Well, if you come in, if you come in at like two, yeah, dude.

• 1:16:33Speaker 01

  I hear you.

• 1:16:34Speaker 00

  Four hours of hard thinking.

• 1:16:36Speaker 01

  It's nap time.

• 1:16:37Speaker 00

  You gotta lay it down.

• 1:16:38Speaker 01

  A lot of guys napping. You got a lot of naps in there.

• 1:16:42Speaker 00

  You gotta lay it down.

• 1:16:43Speaker 01

  We need the scripts by Thursday. Everyone's, oh, fuck.

• 1:16:48Speaker 03

  John?

• 1:16:49Speaker 01

  John, hurry up. Please, John.

• 1:16:55Speaker 03

  But yeah, this is, it's, it's just so exciting. And that, that is the one thing I was saying is like, to be, to be famous for like, small famous than I am for like, this reason? Well, you know what I mean?

• 1:17:07Speaker 01

  Sure. No, not you. I'm just saying, I don't like even talking about it, but yeah.

• 1:17:11Speaker 03

  Oh, well, I mean, it is a factor. Yeah. But for this reason, like I, it's just so nice. Cause it's, it's, it's about a show.

• 1:17:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:22Speaker 03

  You and John and it's like.

• 1:17:24Speaker 01

  For sure.

• 1:17:24Speaker 03

  People that really care about each other. I couldn't imagine being like.

• 1:17:27Speaker 01

  Who the fuck would want to be famous?

• 1:17:29Speaker 03

  Well.

• 1:17:29Speaker 01

  That shit's wild.

• 1:17:31Speaker 03

  That's my point. It's like, if you, if you were a reality show famous.

• 1:17:35Speaker 01

  Yeah. Just desperate, just trying to be famous.

• 1:17:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:17:38Speaker 01

  You don't want to have talent at all. You just want to be famous.

• 1:17:41Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:17:42Speaker 01

  Gross.

• 1:17:42Speaker 00

  Nightmare, nightmare.

• 1:17:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, but it is, it is funny. I, I do like seeing you be the big man on campus. I like watching you walk around and go, oh yeah, that's me.

• 1:17:53Speaker 03

  That's not what I do.

• 1:17:55Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:17:55Speaker 03

  I don't do that.

• 1:17:57Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:17:57Speaker 03

  But I, I'll tell you what, it is rewiring my brain, you know, like, cause bars I used to never, so I'm trying to get back.

• 1:18:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, having fun a little.

• 1:18:05Speaker 03

  Shane's trying to get me out of my comfort zone, which I'm eternally grateful for. And, uh, like, went to the Eagles Halloween thing.

• 1:18:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:15Speaker 01

  Oh, man.

• 1:18:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:18:16Speaker 01

  Dressed as Jafar, just going, I can't see. Kind of blind.

• 1:18:21Speaker 03

  Jordan Mylotta hitting you in the stick.

• 1:18:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:18:25Speaker 00

  Right out of the gate.

• 1:18:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:18:27Speaker 00

  Well, it was a picture. I thought we were, I thought he wanted us in the picture.

• 1:18:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, but nobody can understand what he was saying.

• 1:18:30Speaker 00

  I was like, Steve, let's go.

• 1:18:32Speaker 01

  Yeah. Oh, no.

• 1:18:32Speaker 00

  But he was saying, get out.

• 1:18:34Speaker 03

  He was saying, not you.

• 1:18:35Speaker 01

  But I was like, no, yeah.

• 1:18:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:18:38Speaker 01

  Yeah. No, yeah. No, yeah.

• 1:18:40Speaker 03

  No, I guess.

• 1:18:41Speaker 01

  Hi, I'm Steve.

• 1:18:44Speaker 01

  Who the fuck are you, bro?

• 1:18:45Speaker 03

  The fuck out of here, bro. I mean, I'm not talking on Drew. He is a really awesome guy, yeah.

• 1:18:52Speaker 01

  How fucking nice is he?

• 1:18:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:18:54Speaker 00

  He was great. Everyone was so nice.

• 1:18:55Speaker 01

  Obviously, everyone's great, but I went to, me and him after the Halloween party, went to Bonner's.

• 1:18:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:19:00Speaker 01

  I just sat with him at the bar at Bonner's. He's huge. He's dressed like the Witcher.

• 1:19:04Speaker 00

  Oh, was that what it was?

• 1:19:06Speaker 01

  And he was just getting into singing. He was talking about his singing. He loves singing.

• 1:19:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:19:10Speaker 01

  He started singing. It was very funny.

• 1:19:12Speaker 03

  That's fantastic.

• 1:19:13Speaker 01

  See what?

• 1:19:16Speaker 01

  See what? The difference between you and Jordan Mylottis singing?

• 1:19:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, if I was just gigantic, and I said, "I wanna dance," you would be, "Oh, yeah, it's it." You'd be like, "It's so cool."

• 1:19:25Speaker 01

  If you were, first off, I wasn't saying, "Oh, it's so cool." I thought it was funny, it's funny to hear a guy that is that big.

• 1:19:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:19:33Speaker 01

  Be like, "Thinking about getting into singing, bro."

• 1:19:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, man, fuck yeah.

• 1:19:40Speaker 01

  But he's got a really good voice.

• 1:19:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, he does.

• 1:19:42Speaker 01

  That's the difference also. If you had a great voice and good moves, I could support it.

• 1:19:47Speaker 03

  You'll have to work on the moves.

• 1:19:49Speaker 01

  The moves are actually pretty good.

• 1:19:50Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 1:19:51Speaker 01

  I will say that. You've got good moves.

• 1:19:52Speaker 03

  They're gonna come, they're gonna get better.

• 1:19:53Speaker 01

  And you got long legs. You fucking look good out there.

• 1:19:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:19:57Speaker 01

  Like some type of bug on the dance floor.

• 1:20:00Speaker 03

  I don't look good.

• 1:20:01Speaker 01

  Fucking bug out there.

• 1:20:03Speaker 03

  I know. I wish there was more proportion.

• 1:20:06Speaker 00

  No, I think long legs is good for square dancing.

• 1:20:08Speaker 01

  Fucking all three of us are pretty fucked in proportion.

• 1:20:11Speaker 03

  What are you talking about? You're a high deal man, man.

• 1:20:14Speaker 01

  I'm the high deal man. Hey, let me tell you. Talk to my ex.

• 1:20:24Speaker 03

  Hey, you thought about it?

• 1:20:30Speaker 00

  That's what, that's what I think I'm gonna do. I think I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna dry it out. I'm gonna get big into yoga.

• 1:20:36Speaker 01

  You gotta dry it out before we film.

• 1:20:37Speaker 00

  I'm gonna get flexible.

• 1:20:38Speaker 01

  For sure.

• 1:20:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:20:39Speaker 01

  And while we're filming, we gotta.

• 1:20:41Speaker 00

  Get the fitness going.

• 1:20:42Speaker 01

  Thankfully, thankfully, it's gonna be early enough days, because of the lighting.

• 1:20:48Speaker 01

  So you're not gonna, we're not gonna be able to.

• 1:20:49Speaker 03

  No, yeah. I'm just, we go ahead.

• 1:20:52Speaker 01

  No, that's it.

• 1:20:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:20:54Speaker 03

  It's kind of like a little bit of identity crisis to think about how different I would be if I was Jordan Mylottis size.

• 1:21:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:21:03Speaker 01

  God, I'd love it if you were the exact same. If there was just a giant version of you.

• 1:21:07Speaker 03

  I would probably say.

• 1:21:09Speaker 01

  I don't like parties. I'm going home. Six eight, jacked.

• 1:21:15Speaker 01

  I'm going as Jafar to the Eagles Halloween party. I have to leave. I'm blind.

• 1:21:22Speaker 03

  My pupils are dilated. So it's like, I can't see anything. And I think I asked you at one point, I was like, who's that over there? And you're like.

• 1:21:28Speaker 01

  Saquon Barkley.

• 1:21:30Speaker 03

  Dang it. I can't see him.

• 1:21:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:21:34Speaker 03

  And then just a bunch of giants.

• 1:21:35Speaker 01

  John Cena was there.

• 1:21:36Speaker 03

  Oh, he was?

• 1:21:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:21:37Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 1:21:38Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:21:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, Steve couldn't see him.

• 1:21:42Speaker 01

  Folks.

• 1:21:44Speaker 01

  Folks, I got plenty more.

• 1:21:46Speaker 03

  Very nice.

• 1:21:47Speaker 01

  Come see me at the link. For more fucking gold like that.

• 1:21:53Speaker 00

  I would, if I couldn't see, I would freak out in those environments, too.

• 1:21:58Speaker 03

  Yeah. Cause like when Shane came in, then Jordan Mylottis was like dancing. Yeah, like, I don't know, everybody was kind of dancing. And then there was some movement back towards me. And then there was literally nowhere to go. I was against the bar.

• 1:22:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:12Speaker 03

  So then, then, you know.

• 1:22:14Speaker 00

  Slowly.

• 1:22:15Speaker 01

  It was nice that we were the only, we were the only ones there.

• 1:22:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:22:19Speaker 01

  Other than the team.

• 1:22:20Speaker 03

  Team.

• 1:22:20Speaker 01

  It was very weird.

• 1:22:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:22:22Speaker 01

  It was awesome. It was really nice with the Dickersons.

• 1:22:25Speaker 03

  Oh, that's so nice.

• 1:22:26Speaker 01

  They put it together.

• 1:22:27Speaker 03

  He couldn't be.

• 1:22:28Speaker 01

  How great is he?

• 1:22:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:22:29Speaker 00

  Man.

• 1:22:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's, it's funny when you get to know the, the guys that play football. Like it changes the way I watch the game. Like, like last night, Christian McCaffrey running the ball 30 times. Every time he runs the ball, I'm like, don't, be safe, be safe. Please don't get hurt. I just, you become a girlfriend instantly. Oh no, he's down.

• 1:22:52Speaker 03

  Get up, get up, get up.

• 1:22:53Speaker 01

  He's up, he's up, he's good. He's having a hell of a game. And at the end of the game, you're like, I'm so proud of you. You did great, man.

• 1:23:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, like I watch Bills games now. I'm back to that because Gabe.

• 1:23:04Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 1:23:04Speaker 01

  Gabe Davis is back. I watch it again. I'm like a fucking girlfriend watching this shit.

• 1:23:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:23:08Speaker 01

  He catches the ball, I'm like.

• 1:23:11Speaker 01

  Yes, Gabriel.

• 1:23:13Speaker 00

  Anytime he doesn't get thrown, you're like, he was open.

• 1:23:15Speaker 01

  He was open. Josh, throw him the ball.

• 1:23:19Speaker 01

  Yeah. But injuries in football, it's sad.

• 1:23:23Speaker 00

  It's sad.

• 1:23:23Speaker 01

  It's so sad for the guys.

• 1:23:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:23:25Speaker 01

  Because it really, you know, it makes them, it makes them sad.

• 1:23:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:23:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:23:29Speaker 00

  It's such a.

• 1:23:30Speaker 03

  And just your entire career can be.

• 1:23:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:23:32Speaker 03

  Done in a second.

• 1:23:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:23:33Speaker 00

  I don't, I genuinely don't know how there aren't eight broken legs every running play.

• 1:23:39Speaker 01

  Me neither.

• 1:23:41Speaker 01

  Obviously, I would. I just ran if no one tackled me.

• 1:23:48Speaker 00

  Pull up, tear your Achilles.

• 1:23:51Speaker 00

  I'm surprised the line guys don't wear the double leg braces.

• 1:23:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:23:56Speaker 00

  Also, I feel like the arm, the arm brace thing, it feels like, when the D guys wear it, it feels like cheating.

• 1:24:02Speaker 01

  Why?

• 1:24:03Speaker 00

  You just got a metal weapon you can hit. Dude, when we were playing like indoor lacrosse, there'd be these fucking Canadian guys and they would build like their own like armor. They would just like, they would, they would like heat up plastic and build just like a shield. And then they'd just fucking crush you.

• 1:24:19Speaker 01

  Canadians are fucking you up.

• 1:24:20Speaker 00

  They're nuts, yeah.

• 1:24:21Speaker 01

  Are they better than you?

• 1:24:22Speaker 00

  I, well.

• 1:24:23Speaker 01

  Who's better?

• 1:24:24Speaker 00

  Skill level?

• 1:24:25Speaker 01

  Who's better, the Americans or the Canadians?

• 1:24:27Speaker 00

  I think the Canadians, yeah.

• 1:24:28Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:24:29Speaker 00

  I mean.

• 1:24:32Speaker 01

  Damn, it is like a clash of the pussies who can play the real sport. It's our non-football guys versus their non-hockey guys. It's a battle.

• 1:24:44Speaker 01

  Who are the pussy guys? This is our best group of pussy guys.

• 1:24:47Speaker 00

  No, the Canadians, because every, everyone, when I was growing up, was like, you gotta have like, be like, good with both hands and all this stuff. And Canadian guys went, fuck that.

• 1:24:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:24:57Speaker 00

  They just got so good with one hand.

• 1:24:59Speaker 01

  And then they, no, New York has the Native Americans.

• 1:25:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, Onondaga.

• 1:25:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:25:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:25:05Speaker 01

  We laughed about.

• 1:25:06Speaker 00

  Houdini or whatever.

• 1:25:07Speaker 01

  Jim Brown playing, he was like nasty at lacrosse.

• 1:25:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:25:10Speaker 03

  Jim Brown?

• 1:25:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, he played lacrosse at Syracuse.

• 1:25:12Speaker 03

  Okay, yeah.

• 1:25:13Speaker 01

  There must have been 10 people on earth playing lacrosse. And he must have just trucked the fuck out of those kids.

• 1:25:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:25:19Speaker 01

  Because I was asking him, I was like, can you just lower your shoulder with the ball? He was like, yeah. So that must have been fucking terrifying.

• 1:25:25Speaker 00

  Yeah, he just.

• 1:25:26Speaker 01

  I'd be racist.

• 1:25:29Speaker 01

  If I was one of those white guys out there, I'd go, get him off the field. This is fucking crazy.

• 1:25:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, that feels like a sport ripe to have somebody come in and just dominate like that.

• 1:25:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:25:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, Jim Brown.

• 1:25:41Speaker 00

  I'd love to see it.

• 1:25:41Speaker 01

  Holy fuck.

• 1:25:43Speaker 00

  I would love to see it. I'd love to see like a LeBron kind of guy out there.

• 1:25:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:25:48Speaker 01

  He's so scary.

• 1:25:48Speaker 00

  Jordan Mylotta with a lacrosse stick?

• 1:25:50Speaker 01

  No. Jordan needs-

• 1:25:51Speaker 00

  He would shoot the ball 200 miles an hour. It's crazy.

• 1:25:55Speaker 01

  Jordan Mylotta needs to be nowhere near-

• 1:25:57Speaker 00

  Dude, I remember-

• 1:25:58Speaker 01

  Any other sport.

• 1:25:59Speaker 00

  Yeah. Dude, I remember-

• 1:26:00Speaker 01

  He's scary out there.

• 1:26:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:26:02Speaker 01

  He shakes your hand after the game, you straight to girlfriend, girlfriend mode again, you go, oh my god, your hands are so big. He's so fucking gay the whole time. And he can sing and he's handsome, he's dressed like a vampire.

• 1:26:15Speaker 00

  He is, he was handsome.

• 1:26:17Speaker 01

  He was, he's dressed like a vampire, he's handsome as fuck.

• 1:26:19Speaker 00

  He was kinda crazy.

• 1:26:20Speaker 01

  He has our fucking squad of mutants. In the corner, dressed like a fucking ninja turtle.

• 1:26:28Speaker 01

  Blind, going home. We've got a whole team of pugs in the corner.

• 1:26:35Speaker 01

  He goes, these are my buddies, we're all fucking pieces of shit.

• 1:26:39Speaker 00

  I had, uh, the hat, the Jafar hat was like two foot and it still wasn't-

• 1:26:43Speaker 01

  Blizz, Blizz showing up with the fucking, whatever that face paint was.

• 1:26:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, mime?

• 1:26:47Speaker 01

  It was fucking horrifying.

• 1:26:50Speaker 00

  That's a high level move though.

• 1:26:51Speaker 01

  The bees, dressed as a bee, that was nice.

• 1:26:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was a good night.

• 1:26:56Speaker 00

  Uh, those were some good costumes. I didn't, I thought I had a good turtle costume.

• 1:26:59Speaker 01

  You did have a good, I had no costume, I-

• 1:27:01Speaker 03

  Classic.

• 1:27:02Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:27:02Speaker 01

  No, no, it wasn't too cool, I just didn't have a-

• 1:27:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:27:05Speaker 01

  Time.

• 1:27:06Speaker 00

  Should've gotten you one. We went to the store right before, should've gotten you a big-

• 1:27:09Speaker 01

  You got the Jason mask.

• 1:27:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:27:11Speaker 01

  It's classic.

• 1:27:12Speaker 00

  But it'd be nice, nice to get you a Power Ranger.

• 1:27:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm not-

• 1:27:16Speaker 00

  Get you a big Power Ranger jumpsuit.

• 1:27:18Speaker 01

  Uh, physically am for a bodysuit.

• 1:27:22Speaker 00

  Well, it's baggy.

• 1:27:23Speaker 01

  It better be. It better be baggy.

• 1:27:25Speaker 00

  Dude, the problem is-

• 1:27:26Speaker 01

  There's a lot of problems with a latex suit with me. And the penis might be number two.

• 1:27:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:27:31Speaker 01

  The love handles is where we're running into some real fucking chaos. Just a belt, a Power Ranger belt sagging underneath my gut. I mean, that's... I'd be with you. I'd go, "I'm going home too." This fucking blows.

• 1:27:45Speaker 00

  I think that'd be such a sick look.

• 1:27:48Speaker 01

  If I pulled it, yeah. If I wore it with confidence.

• 1:27:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:27:51Speaker 01

  But there's no way I would. There's no way I could. I'd be doing the adjust my fucking shirt the entire time. Pulling the penis out this time the whole time. "Don't get that spandex off my dick." This is crazy. Jordan Mylott is gonna see my tiny penis.

• 1:28:07Speaker 00

  Dude, I remember when we were in, uh, when we were in like, I think, late middle school, early high school. Casey Powell, who's like the best player in the world at the time, came and we were hanging out and he was like shooting. He was shooting like 95 miles an hour and Sullivan just picked up a stick. He was in eighth grade.

• 1:28:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:28:27Speaker 00

  He just picked up a stick and shot like one ten.

• 1:28:31Speaker 00

  Casey Powell was 25.

• 1:28:34Speaker 01

  Sullivan was a horse though. Yeah, he's a monster.

• 1:28:38Speaker 00

  I can't imagine an NFL lineman like actually playing lacrosse and shooting the ball.

• 1:28:44Speaker 01

  Fucking funny. If you're allowed to just truck people.

• 1:28:47Speaker 00

  It would kill goalies.

• 1:28:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, that would, yeah. They'd have to start actually wearing pads, like way more pads.

• 1:28:52Speaker 00

  Like a thick, like hockey chest protector.

• 1:28:55Speaker 01

  Those guys must be crazy.

• 1:28:56Speaker 00

  They're nuts.

• 1:28:56Speaker 01

  Lacrosse goalies.

• 1:28:57Speaker 00

  They're nuts.

• 1:28:58Speaker 01

  Yeah. I like those positions in sports that are real weird.

• 1:29:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:29:02Speaker 01

  Like MLB pitchers.

• 1:29:04Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:29:04Speaker 01

  Are just insane people. I would imagine hockey goalies are fucking weird dudes.

• 1:29:09Speaker 00

  Hockey goalies, yeah.

• 1:29:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:29:11Speaker 00

  They're supposed to be.

• 1:29:12Speaker 01

  Every single golfer, weird dork.

• 1:29:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, they got-

• 1:29:16Speaker 01

  I don't know any. I've only met a couple and they were all very normal and nice.

• 1:29:20Speaker 00

  Oh, okay.

• 1:29:21Speaker 01

  Yeah. Just trying to belittle your sport, your favorite. I just wanted to take your favorite thing and say it sucked. Even though it doesn't.

• 1:29:28Speaker 00

  No, well, it has to a little bit because it's such a head game position.

• 1:29:31Speaker 01

  I would imagine those are weird people.

• 1:29:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:29:34Speaker 00

  Like you have to do all these like weird mental stuff to like keep from absolutely melting down.

• 1:29:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:29:39Speaker 00

  So I have goalies like talking of pipes and stuff. Thanking pipes.

• 1:29:43Speaker 01

  Dude, the, my favorite was just during COVID, going to baseball games where the stadium was empty and you could just listen to the pitchers. They're fucking insane, dude.

• 1:29:51Speaker 00

  What are they saying?

• 1:29:52Speaker 01

  Every time they put their glove over their face, like, you motherfucker, fuck.

• 1:29:56Speaker 00

  Really?

• 1:29:59Speaker 01

  Just back to the game, you're like, holy shit.

• 1:30:02Speaker 00

  Whoa.

• 1:30:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, they're mental patients.

• 1:30:05Speaker 00

  Wow, that's really interesting. I mean, I get it.

• 1:30:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, giving up a homerun.

• 1:30:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:30:10Speaker 01

  You can just hear it as soon as it leaves the bat, you hear the pitcher, fuck.

• 1:30:14Speaker 01

  Son of a fucking bitch, give me the ball. It's just winging the next pitch.

• 1:30:20Speaker 00

  I, I can't ima- I can't imagine like having the confidence to just throw the pitch over the plate.

• 1:30:26Speaker 01

  Tommy put me onto that. It's very funny. When someone gives up a homerun, usually the next pitch is 95 fastball.

• 1:30:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:30:32Speaker 01

  Down the middle, like they're like, fuck you, fuck you.

• 1:30:38Speaker 00

  Just fast.

• 1:30:39Speaker 01

  Gone again, gone. Shit.

• 1:30:43Speaker 00

  That's gotta be the worst feeling in the world.

• 1:30:47Speaker 01

  Giving up a homer?

• 1:30:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:30:48Speaker 01

  It's a tough one. Giving up a sack sucked.

• 1:30:52Speaker 00

  Oh my god.

• 1:30:53Speaker 01

  That was really shitty.

• 1:30:54Speaker 00

  Horrible.

• 1:30:54Speaker 01

  Yeah. Especially if you're friends with the quarterback, he's your buddy. Dude, I'm getting killed. I don't know who the fuck this guy is. I'm, I'm gone this game. Run away.

• 1:31:05Speaker 00

  What can you do if you're just getting smoked? What do you?

• 1:31:09Speaker 01

  Nothing.

• 1:31:10Speaker 00

  Just lunge at him?

• 1:31:11Speaker 01

  Hopefully the coach, hopefully the coach can make an adjustment and help.

• 1:31:13Speaker 00

  Get the running back chip?

• 1:31:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:31:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:31:16Speaker 01

  But we didn't have that. So it was just, you're just, you're gonna get fucked up today.

• 1:31:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:31:23Speaker 01

  All day, shit.

• 1:31:24Speaker 00

  How many times did that happen?

• 1:31:26Speaker 01

  Happened once.

• 1:31:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:31:27Speaker 01

  Happened to me once.

• 1:31:28Speaker 00

  It's a guy across.

• 1:31:29Speaker 01

  Last game of my senior year.

• 1:31:30Speaker 00

  Oh no. And the guy across from you, you just play one, you were like, he's, I'm not.

• 1:31:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, I like never gave up a sack. And then this one game, this guy was just killing me.

• 1:31:42Speaker 01

  Final game.

• 1:31:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:31:43Speaker 01

  Never played another game.

• 1:31:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:31:45Matt McCusker?

  Oh, no.

• 1:31:46Speaker 01

  It's alright, fuck it.

• 1:31:47Speaker 00

  I got a memory.

• 1:31:48Speaker 01

  I don't really, I don't care.

• 1:31:49Speaker 00

  I got a memory like that. In college.

• 1:31:53Speaker 01

  I thought you were going to your hockey story.

• 1:31:54Speaker 00

  No, no. Oh, that's, that's a tough one. That's a tough one.

• 1:31:58Speaker 01

  He was like deeply troubled by it.

• 1:32:00Speaker 00

  Dude, conference championship, my senior year of college. They like, they dialed it up, they called the play to me.

• 1:32:06Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:32:07Speaker 00

  Like, take this guy to the rack, had a shorty. Dude stripped me. And I like never turned the ball over.

• 1:32:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:32:15Speaker 00

  Never. Stripped me. Down the other way, didn't see the field again.

• 1:32:20Speaker 01

  Oh, man.

• 1:32:21Speaker 00

  It was, yeah, it was like a fourth quarter games like, it's like seven, seven.

• 1:32:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:32:26Speaker 00

  Run the play.

• 1:32:27Speaker 01

  Oh Connor, you ready?

• 1:32:29Speaker 00

  Yeah. And I went into it, we were like, I'm going to smoke this kid. And he just twigged me.

• 1:32:36Speaker 01

  You go, yeah, alright, motherfucker. Here we go.

• 1:32:39Speaker 00

  And dude like.

• 1:32:40Speaker 01

  Off the field.

• 1:32:41Speaker 00

  Dude. It was like, it, it, I still, it's like one of those things you scream about in the shower. Cause it was a thing where it was like, like, I hadn't been playing well in the like, the last quarter of the season, but the coach was still like, I know, he literally pulled me aside and was like, I know you still got goals.

• 1:32:58Matt McCusker?

  Oh, no.

• 1:32:59Speaker 00

  Yeah. And I was like, hell, yeah, dude.

• 1:33:02Speaker 01

  That's nice, though.

• 1:33:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, you know, he was great.

• 1:33:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:33:04Speaker 00

  And then, uh, it turned out I didn't have goals left.

• 1:33:06Speaker 01

  That's alright.

• 1:33:08Speaker 00

  But it was, that's what was like so painful, he literally like, game on the line, gave me a shot to make a difference.

• 1:33:15Speaker 01

  That's tough, you never told me that story.

• 1:33:17Speaker 00

  Oh, it was brutal. It's literally like the last play of my.

• 1:33:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:33:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:33:23Speaker 00

  Heartbreak.

• 1:33:26Speaker 00

  That's really hurting you guys?

• 1:33:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's a tough one.

• 1:33:29Speaker 00

  It's alright.

• 1:33:29Speaker 01

  That's how sports ends, though.

• 1:33:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:33:31Speaker 01

  No, you don't end on top.

• 1:33:32Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:33:33Speaker 01

  You end, you got humiliated. Fuck it, I'm, I'm not doing this.

• 1:33:39Speaker 01

  When was your last, uh, sport?

• 1:33:42Speaker 03

  That would be, uh, probably Little League baseball. And it was, yeah, just couldn't.

• 1:33:48Speaker 01

  But you were just short.

• 1:33:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:33:50Speaker 01

  When did you grow? When did those fucking legs take off?

• 1:33:52Speaker 03

  Uh, freshman year of college.

• 1:33:54Speaker 01

  Holy shit, that must've been crazy.

• 1:33:56Speaker 03

  It was pretty nuts.

• 1:33:58Speaker 01

  How much did you grow?

• 1:34:00Speaker 03

  Uh, for, uh, six inches, seven inches.

• 1:34:03Speaker 01

  In a year?

• 1:34:04Speaker 03

  Uh, over the ti- yeah.

• 1:34:05Speaker 01

  God, that must've looked a hurt.

• 1:34:06Speaker 03

  It was, it was crazy. It was crazy to have to like buy new pants in a year.

• 1:34:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:34:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:34:13Speaker 00

  That's a dream though. That was, I always held out hope.

• 1:34:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:34:16Speaker 00

  I would, I would, yeah, I would learn about people growing in college and be like, it's still, I still.

• 1:34:20Speaker 01

  There's a chance.

• 1:34:20Speaker 00

  It'll happen, yeah.

• 1:34:21Speaker 03

  I saw an endocrinologist and they, they, you know, said five, six, five, seven tops.

• 1:34:27Speaker 00

  Really?

• 1:34:28Speaker 03

  Yeah. And then.

• 1:34:29Speaker 01

  I don't think they know shit.

• 1:34:30Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 1:34:30Speaker 01

  They get that wrong all the time.

• 1:34:32Speaker 03

  Right. They're just looking at an x-ray.

• 1:34:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:34:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's a scam. Endocrinologist, I'm coming for you. You fucking liar.

• 1:34:43Speaker 03

  The mirror was so humiliating because they, uh, had like a bead of testicles. Did I tell you about that?

• 1:34:49Speaker 03

  It wa- it was like, like.

• 1:34:51Speaker 00

  Like a size chart.

• 1:34:52Speaker 03

  A size chart.

• 1:34:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:34:53Speaker 03

  Like where he.

• 1:34:53Speaker 00

  But it was like on a rope, like, like a butt plug rope.

• 1:34:56Speaker 03

  Yep. And then my mom like, so they checked me and then my mom came back in the room and was showing where my testicles were on this.

• 1:35:02Speaker 01

  On the big balls?

• 1:35:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:35:04Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:35:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:35:06Speaker 01

  Is that how they'd see how tall you're gonna be?

• 1:35:07Speaker 03

  No, I think it was the x-rays, but they were just chucking that to see.

• 1:35:10Speaker 01

  Just to show you where you stack up? The fuck? What doctor is this, dude?

• 1:35:15Speaker 03

  I.

• 1:35:16Speaker 01

  Get rid of that fucker.

• 1:35:17Speaker 03

  By recollection.

• 1:35:18Speaker 01

  Just so you know, also you have small, tiny balls.

• 1:35:22Speaker 01

  There's no medical difference. You're gonna be able to have kids, all that. This is just for you. It has no bearing on anything else. Just want you to know, you got a little tiny dick.

• 1:35:32Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:35:34Speaker 00

  Thanks for that.

• 1:35:35Speaker 03

  You're like matching up to the age group that typically.

• 1:35:38Speaker 01

  That's a doctor with small, tiny balls.

• 1:35:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:35:41Speaker 01

  And he's got his little, he's got a notch on there.

• 1:35:43Speaker 00

  Right.

• 1:35:43Speaker 01

  And he's going, oh, got you. Not so small.

• 1:35:47Speaker 00

  The 99th percentile balls.

• 1:35:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:35:51Speaker 01

  All right, well.

• 1:35:52Speaker 00

  How, yeah, what's the biggest, what was the biggest ball on the chart, would you say?

• 1:35:55Speaker 03

  Don't recall.

• 1:35:57Speaker 01

  That would have stuck out to me. I would have been like, holy shit. Poor fucking guy. That's crazy.

• 1:36:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't know. I don't, I don't think they were like abnormalities. I think it was like, once you got up to, uh, average male is basically where it ended.

• 1:36:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, well.

• 1:36:13Speaker 00

  Never really think about the size of my balls.

• 1:36:15Speaker 01

  I keep trying to end the podcast. But yeah, what do you, never think about the size of your, yeah, that's, we had, we had way bigger fish to fry. Right next door.

• 1:36:25Speaker 01

  We got a real problem. Above and below those things, there's stuff going on that we need to take care of. Balls are on the back burner for, for concern.

• 1:36:37Speaker 01

  Kevin? You're a sweet boy. I wish you could come do the show tonight, but.

• 1:36:42Speaker 03

  Thanks for having me on this.

• 1:36:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's good to see you.

• 1:36:45Speaker 03

  Sorry. Didn't want to, didn't want to make your dad super uncomfortable.

• 1:36:50Speaker 01

  No, because of fuck, it was funny.

• 1:36:51Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:36:51Speaker 01

  He, he, he thinks it's funny. He just doesn't want to talk about eating pussy around me. If I wasn't here, he'd be like, that is what I do.

• 1:36:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, but no, my family's not, uh.

• 1:37:02Speaker 03

  Got it.

• 1:37:02Speaker 01

  Never talk about sex.

• 1:37:03Speaker 03

  Got it.

• 1:37:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:37:04Speaker 01

  I think it's weird when families do.

• 1:37:06Speaker 03

  It, I couldn't agree more.

• 1:37:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:37:12Speaker 00

  I agree with that.

• 1:37:12Speaker 01

  You have any final, uh, final thoughts here? Anything you want to get off your chest?

• 1:37:17Speaker 00

  No, no, I think, I think I'm glad, glad I, uh, I made it through. I was really up against it yesterday.

• 1:37:23Speaker 01

  I thought you were dead, yeah.

• 1:37:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:37:26Speaker 01

  You don't respond when you're like that. That's annoying.

• 1:37:28Speaker 00

  I know, but, um.

• 1:37:30Speaker 01

  I get it.

• 1:37:30Speaker 00

  Sometimes you gotta.

• 1:37:31Speaker 01

  Couldn't face reality.

• 1:37:32Speaker 00

  Shut it down, yeah.

• 1:37:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:37:34Speaker 00

  Shut it down, you, yeah. Communication gone.

• 1:37:40Speaker 01

  For sure. All right, well, that's a good podcast.

• 1:37:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:37:44Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:37:45Matt McCusker?

  Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Spotify.

• 1:37:49Speaker 01

  Do it.