Pretty Little Episode #43

Fortune and Tig talk about the least-true compliments they've received, and anoint each other with pro wrestling nicknames on a fabulous and high-flying Pretty Little Episode that will have you down for the count! Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepod http://speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepodThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 0:04Fortune Feimster?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking whether I brought my sunglasses before driving west at the end of the day? A learning moment. I'm gaining confidence in my driving, but it helps when I'm not blinded by the sun beaming directly into my eyeballs.

• 0:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 0:35Fortune Feimster?

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• 1:19Fortune Feimster?

  Squarespace makes it easy, so easy, we even made a handsome website ourselves in less than 20 minutes. So what are you waiting for? Get started on your dream website today. Head to Squarespace.com/handsome for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code HANSOME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 1:48Fortune Feimster?

  Pretty little episode. Welcome to the Handsome Pods Pretty Little Episode. I'm Fortune.

• 1:55Tig Notaro?

  You sure are. And you know what? I'm Tig Notaro.

• 1:58Fortune Feimster?

  Yes, you are, my friend.

• 2:00Tig Notaro?

  Yes, my friend. Those are our names.

• 2:02Fortune Feimster?

  Friends, my friends.

• 2:04Tig Notaro?

  My friends, these are our names.

• 2:07Fortune Feimster?

  Good to see you.

• 2:09Tig Notaro?

  Good to see you.

• 2:10Fortune Feimster?

  I'm chilling here, and I just got back from visiting North Carolina. I went to my first NASCAR race.

• 2:22Tig Notaro?

  How do you end up at a NASCAR race? That does sound fun.

• 2:26Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, I was curious. Ever gone and Bert Kreischer was, his wife was on a, sat on a plane beside me on the way home uh, to visit and she was like, they're, they were doing a thing in Charlotte and uh, my family was going to be gone at that point. And I was like, why not? Let me just check that out.

• 2:46Tig Notaro?

  That's awesome. And so would you go again? And what is it like? And

• 2:52Fortune Feimster?

  Um.

• 2:52Tig Notaro?

  Tell us about the clientele.

• 2:54Fortune Feimster?

  I love people watching. That was pretty exciting.

• 2:57Tig Notaro?

  Sure.

• 2:58Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, it's like a big festival kinda outside before it starts. I would go again, but I only stayed for like the first hundred laps. It's 400 laps.

• 3:10Tig Notaro?

  That's a lot of laps.

• 3:11Fortune Feimster?

  It's a lot of laps.

• 3:13Tig Notaro?

  Fortune, I'm with you. That's a lot.

• 3:15Fortune Feimster?

  And I don't, I'm not invested enough to stay the whole time.

• 3:20Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm.

• 3:21Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, but I got to go down on the track and that was pretty cool for it being, having never gone and uh, so I, I met a couple of drivers. They like hang out like on the track before the race and like shake people's hands and stuff like a parade.

• 3:37Tig Notaro?

  I thought you were gonna say have beers and stuff.

• 3:40Fortune Feimster?

  That would, that would be on brand. But I didn't know that happened.

• 3:44Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm.

• 3:44Fortune Feimster?

  And so we were just, we're down there chatting with the guys and you're like, where are they coming to pit for the pit stops or whatever?

• 3:53Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 3:53Fortune Feimster?

  And then when the race is about to start, they're like, get out of here. It's time. But then I, but then I got to, um, watch in the like area right behind the pit people. So I'm like on the track watching these freaking cars go a gazillion miles an hour.

• 4:10Tig Notaro?

  Now, this happens at the same time that the Indy 500 happens, I guess, because the Indy 500 was on the other day.

• 4:18Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, was it?

• 4:19Tig Notaro?

  And we're watching that.

• 4:20Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. Yeah. Do those guys, I don't know. Stuff about that, do they compete in both of things?

• 4:27Tig Notaro?

  Do you?

• 4:31Fortune Feimster?

  You spoke about it like you have some knowledge.

• 4:33Tig Notaro?

  I have never seen the Indy 500 on my TV as an adult or a child. I was surprised that it was on our TV when I walked into the room.

• 4:43Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 4:43Tig Notaro?

  And, uh, and I thought, I don't know what I thought it was Indy 500. I don't know. Is it that they go around 500 times?

• 4:56Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, I don't know. Really? You mean more than 400?

• 5:00Tig Notaro?

  That's a lot.

• 5:01Fortune Feimster?

  A lot.

• 5:02Tig Notaro?

  It's so much zooming around.

• 5:04Fortune Feimster?

  Loud. You cannot watch it without earplugs. I mean, I guess you could, but you shouldn't.

• 5:09Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, don't do that, guys.

• 5:11Fortune Feimster?

  What we did, one of the drivers we met, his name was Bush, so I was a fan.

• 5:19Tig Notaro?

  Fortune Marie.

• 5:23Fortune Feimster?

  I, I was immediately on board.

• 5:29Fortune Feimster?

  Bush with a C H.

• 5:31Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 5:32Fortune Feimster?

  That's the fancy spelling of it. But yeah, it was an adventure. You know, I'm open to doing just whatever. Let's just have fun.

• 5:40Tig Notaro?

  I know you are, girl. I know you are. My window is closing in life where I'm open to whatever.

• 5:46Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 5:47Tig Notaro?

  You know, I feel like I'm, I'm a little too into my

• 5:53Tig Notaro?

  get in bed by nine, have my routine and.

• 5:57Fortune Feimster?

  But you were open for a while.

• 5:58Tig Notaro?

  I was very open.

• 6:00Fortune Feimster?

  That's what I thought, yeah.

• 6:01Tig Notaro?

  And I did a lot of things.

• 6:02Fortune Feimster?

  That's what I thought.

• 6:03Tig Notaro?

  A lot of places and I, I always tell Stephanie, if there is some terrible tragedy or we lose me a little early. I don't want to. I don't want to go.

• 6:15Fortune Feimster?

  You know, we don't. Want that either.

• 6:16Tig Notaro?

  No, but I have done everything I've ever wanted to do plus more. And no one feels sad. I mean, and that's kind of a good place to be where it's like, you know, it's, it's, I got Stephanie and my little Cubs and I got handsome and what else do I need? You know?

• 6:40Fortune Feimster?

  I still wanna, I, there's still some things I need to do.

• 6:44Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, there's things that I'm happy to do and I'd like to do, but if they don't happen, no one should feel sorry for me, you know?

• 6:54Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, you've lived it up. I'm glad to hear that.

• 6:57Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I'm glad to say it. And I've cheated death many times. And so I'm really, this is all just bonus, bonus, bonus.

• 7:04Fortune Feimster?

  You're the, you're living the cherry on top right now.

• 7:07Tig Notaro?

  I really am. I just want to be happy, safe, healthy.

• 7:12Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 7:12Tig Notaro?

  All those things. And, um, and I look back on, on my life going, man, I'm glad I did that. And ooh, that was a bit of a risk.

• 7:20Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 7:22Fortune Feimster?

  So I think when you cheat death a couple of times, you appreciate everything a bit more, don't you think?

• 7:28Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, it's cute that you think it was only a couple, but.

• 7:32Fortune Feimster?

  How many, eight, eight times?

• 7:35Tig Notaro?

  Thomas has sat with me at my, my bedside.

• 7:39Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, my gosh, yeah.

• 7:41Tig Notaro?

  But, but yeah, it's, it's been, um, it's, it's, but whatever, it's, it's a good feeling. It's a good feeling to, to know I've taken risks. I've, I've traveled all over. I've done all of those things.

• 7:55Fortune Feimster?

  I love that.

• 7:56Tig Notaro?

  And yes, there are so many things that I could still do, or I.

• 8:00Fortune Feimster?

  And that you will do.

• 8:01Tig Notaro?

  And that I will do, or I might not, but I don't have that feeling of, oh, I, I haven't, I gotta, I want, you know? I think the main thing is I just wanna, I wanna see Max and Finn grow up. That's, that's really what I want in life.

• 8:17Fortune Feimster?

  I love that.

• 8:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. So that's what I'm trying to take care of myself. So I can see, uh, who grows a mustache and who doesn't.

• 8:26Fortune Feimster?

  Mm hmm.

• 8:26Tig Notaro?

  You know? So it might be me.

• 8:29Fortune Feimster?

  It might be all of us.

• 8:34Fortune Feimster?

  We already know what you look like with one, very handsome.

• 8:36Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, well, thank you. I was waiting for you to say that. I don't think I've seen you with a mustache. You haven't done the fake mustache thing, have you?

• 8:43Fortune Feimster?

  No, I felt like it would turn you guys on too much.

• 8:47Tig Notaro?

  Hmm, that's interesting.

• 8:49Fortune Feimster?

  But I will, don't you worry.

• 8:51Tig Notaro?

  You're gonna sneak up and, you know, I love one of those, like.

• 8:55Fortune Feimster?

  Handlebar.

• 8:56Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, but I'm always confused. I thought handlebar was like where you like twist the little ends.

• 9:02Fortune Feimster?

  Um, is that, what is that?

• 9:05Tig Notaro?

  The, oh, I see what I.

• 9:07Fortune Feimster?

  I know what you mean.

• 9:08Tig Notaro?

  You have to talk like this and, oh.

• 9:10Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know. I thought handlebar was this, but maybe not.

• 9:14Tig Notaro?

  No, I think it is, because anytime I go with my fingers on my face, people are like, oh, you're like a handlebar.

• 9:20Fortune Feimster?

  But the twisty one, I don't know what that's called.

• 9:22Tig Notaro?

  But doesn't it seem like it helps you think when you twist the mustache hair?

• 9:26Fortune Feimster?

  For sure.

• 9:27Tig Notaro?

  And what is the voice you would put to thinking twisting?

• 9:30Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, I gotta solve this crime. It's a little bit of May's goofy voice.

• 9:35Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 9:36Fortune Feimster?

  Not in life, but you know, May does the nerdy voice.

• 9:39Tig Notaro?

  Sure.

• 9:39Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, my God, I'm doing the thing.

• 9:41Tig Notaro?

  I feel like Thomas is Googling mustache names. That's what he's doing, because he is.

• 9:45Speaker 03

  Do you want some mustache information?

• 9:49Tig Notaro?

  Any more stupid questions?

• 9:51Fortune Feimster?

  You must ask, we must ask you a question about mustaches.

• 9:55Tig Notaro?

  Yes.

• 9:56Speaker 03

  Those are both handlebar mustache styles. The curly one is called an imperial mustache. And it seems like this one that goes down might be called a walrus.

• 10:08Tig Notaro?

  Oh, that makes cuckoo cachoo.

• 10:13Fortune Feimster?

  What is your kind of mustache called?

• 10:15Tig Notaro?

  A teedog.

• 10:16Speaker 03

  A chevron.

• 10:18Fortune Feimster?

  A chevron?

• 10:19Tig Notaro?

  Did you know that about your mustache, Thomas?

• 10:21Speaker 03

  No, I'm just looking at a diagram of mustache, mustaches.

• 10:25Tig Notaro?

  And do they have any menopause mustaches?

• 10:29Speaker 03

  I'm not seeing that on here.

• 10:30Fortune Feimster?

  Those are patchier.

• 10:36Tig Notaro?

  What kind of mustache would you have, Fortune?

• 10:38Fortune Feimster?

  I would do like, like a thinner, long one.

• 10:44Tig Notaro?

  Wait, like a, uh, what's his name, Waters?

• 10:48Fortune Feimster?

  Not that thin, but not a big, thick one.

• 10:52Tig Notaro?

  What is his name, Waters?

• 10:53Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, John Waters.

• 10:54Tig Notaro?

  John Waters, not that?

• 10:56Fortune Feimster?

  No, that's too thin.

• 10:57Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 10:58Fortune Feimster?

  Somewhere, somewhere in between the Chevron.

• 11:01Tig Notaro?

  The Chevron and the Waters. Uh huh. What is the, the Waters stash called?

• 11:08Fortune Feimster?

  A pencil thin?

• 11:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, pencil.

• 11:11Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 11:11Fortune Feimster?

  Hmm.

• 11:12Tig Notaro?

  How is it?

• 11:13Fortune Feimster?

  Learned something new.

• 11:15Tig Notaro?

  How is it that we have referenced Jimmy Buffett even once? And then twice, and then three, I mean, did I tell you my old assistant hosts a Jimmy Buffett?

• 11:29Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, yeah.

• 11:29Tig Notaro?

  Radio show.

• 11:30Fortune Feimster?

  Told me that.

• 11:31Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, on Jimmy Buffett's channel.

• 11:34Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 11:35Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 11:35Fortune Feimster?

  That's funny.

• 11:36Tig Notaro?

  Look at me, name dropping. Um, should we get into our questions?

• 11:40Fortune Feimster?

  Let's do it, boo boo.

• 11:41Tig Notaro?

  Let's do it.

• 11:44Speaker 00

  Hi, handsoms. This is Casey from North Carolina, and my question is inspired by Fortune as Dougie on the TV show Life in Pieces. And I'm wondering if you were a wrestler, what would your wrestler name be?

• 12:02Fortune Feimster?

  That's so funny. So there was this show on CBS called Life in Pieces, really great show with like Diane Weest and, um, uh, James Brolin. And I had a recurring character on there who was an insane person. Uh, and I was a former wrestler and my, um, character's wrestling name was Tackle Box, which is actually a pretty great wrestling name.

• 12:28Tig Notaro?

  That's really good.

• 12:30Fortune Feimster?

  So in the episode, they had me in a yellow wrestling outfit and I drove up on a yellow moped and it was wild. What would your wrestling name be? Hmm.

• 12:40Tig Notaro?

  I think mine would be what my brother used to call me as a kid. Or actually, my mother called me this, Tough Tig.

• 12:51Fortune Feimster?

  I thought you were about to say Tough Tits. But tough Tig makes more sense.

• 12:56Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, my tits weren't as tough.

• 13:01Fortune Feimster?

  They really let you down.

• 13:02Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, not only did they get sickly, but they got cut off. Like, there was no fighting back.

• 13:07Fortune Feimster?

  No, they were just out of there.

• 13:09Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, my mother called me tough Tig.

• 13:12Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 13:13Tig Notaro?

  You know, because I was a little rough and tumble, scrappy, um, uh, huckleberry Tig. And, um, and then my brother, everybody called me that. So it seems like tough Tig might.

• 13:26Fortune Feimster?

  That's a good one.

• 13:27Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, TT.

• 13:28Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, tough Tig.

• 13:30Tig Notaro?

  Mm-hmm. You wouldn't want to wrestle tough Tig.

• 13:33Fortune Feimster?

  Tough Tig.

• 13:38Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 13:44Fortune Feimster?

  Look, um, look, look at what treading's doing.

• 13:46Tig Notaro?

  Whoa.

• 13:47Fortune Feimster?

  Here on YouTube right now.

• 13:49Tig Notaro?

  If you're not, head on over there. That's really good, Fortune.

• 13:53Fortune Feimster?

  Thank you.

• 13:54Tig Notaro?

  When is the last time you had muscle definition to that scary degree?

• 14:01Fortune Feimster?

  Um, it's.

• 14:02Tig Notaro?

  I don't have.

• 14:02Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know if I've ever had any muscle definition, but yeah, just for those audio listeners, I just showed Tig, uh, the muscle in my arm.

• 14:12Tig Notaro?

  Are you enjoying having that?

• 14:14Fortune Feimster?

  I love it. Great. I'm trying not to be, uh, so out of shape.

• 14:20Tig Notaro?

  You are looking sharp. Always look sharp, but I mean, these guns that you are flashing every other episode are, oh, now you are a pretty little lady, aren't you? At least you are.

• 14:33Fortune Feimster?

  I like to be hands up and a pretty little lady.

• 14:35Tig Notaro?

  Me too.

• 14:36Fortune Feimster?

  I like to, I like to swing back and forth.

• 14:38Tig Notaro?

  I haven't seen pretty little lady in any photos in a while.

• 14:42Fortune Feimster?

  Of me?

• 14:42Tig Notaro?

  No, that's where it came from, is that, uh, I don't know if you remember this, but when I would look at picture, there, every now and then, there's a picture taken of me, and it's usually when I have makeup on.

• 14:55Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 14:56Tig Notaro?

  Where a pretty little lady appears.

• 14:58Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 14:59Tig Notaro?

  I said that to Stephanie once. I said, I feel like I look like a pretty little lady. And we had a tackle.

• 15:04Fortune Feimster?

  With lipstick and stuff popping.

• 15:06Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, something, when I'm filming something or, uh, you know, I'm rarely.

• 15:12Tig Notaro?

  In makeup, if that's surprising to hear.

• 15:15Fortune Feimster?

  Well, hopefully, pretty little lady Tig will pop out soon.

• 15:19Tig Notaro?

  Don't you like me how I am?

• 15:21Fortune Feimster?

  Um, I do. If I had to come up with a, mine don't have to involve the name Fortune, it don't have to be like, "The Fortune Cookie" or something like that, you know?

• 15:30Tig Notaro?

  What about Tough Fortune?

• 15:32Fortune Feimster?

  Tough Fortune, formidable Fortune.

• 15:35Tig Notaro?

  Freaky Fortune.

• 15:36Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. Miss, Miss Fortune, Miss Fortune, that would be good.

• 15:39Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm.

• 15:40Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. M I Z, just like, there's another wrestler with an M I Z.

• 15:45Tig Notaro?

  Miss Fortune. I like it.

• 15:48Fortune Feimster?

  Okay. Well, our wrestling careers are right.

• 15:51Tig Notaro?

  Let's hear what Casey's answer is.

• 15:54Speaker 00

  My answer is, I think I would use the name The Puzzler because we use a puzzle piece as the symbol for autism awareness. And I feel that as someone on the spectrum, my true gift may not be physical, but maybe more in the realm of just confusing people and making them feel puzzled. So that is my wrestler name, and I can't wait to hear all of yours. Love the podcast. Thanks for doing it. Bye.

• 16:19Fortune Feimster?

  Nice.

• 16:20Tig Notaro?

  Yes, The Puzzler. I can't believe we heard directly from The Puzzler.

• 16:26Fortune Feimster?

  A star in the making.

• 16:28Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah. The Puzzler versus Tough Tig. The Puzzler versus Miss Fortune.

• 16:37Tig Notaro?

  What do you, do you think you could beat The Puzzler?

• 16:40Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know. The Puzzler sounds like, um, they're using their brain, not just their, um, physical fitness. So I could be outsmarted by The Puzzler.

• 16:51Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 16:52Fortune Feimster?

  Onto our next one.

• 16:53Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, let's do it. Hey, Fortune, May, and Tig. It's Abby in New Hampshire. My question for you is, what's

• 17:02Fortune Feimster?

  a compliment that you receive that is not true at all?

• 17:10Fortune Feimster?

  That's not true at all? I didn't see that twist coming.

• 17:14Tig Notaro?

  That is not true. I feel like, and I've talked about this, I know, before, but every now and then I get, I get called nice.

• 17:26Tig Notaro?

  And I do think I'm nice, but I don't feel like I lead with it. So I don't know if this is the right answer because I do think I'm a nice person.

• 17:34Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 17:35Tig Notaro?

  I'm just not like bubbly.

• 17:38Fortune Feimster?

  Like sugary?

• 17:39Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 17:40Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 17:40Tig Notaro?

  I'm, I'm not that kind of nice. I'm, I'm.

• 17:43Fortune Feimster?

  You have a big heart, though.

• 17:46Tig Notaro?

  I do. I do.

• 17:48Fortune Feimster?

  And you show, you'll, you'll show up for people when they need you.

• 17:51Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm.

• 17:52Fortune Feimster?

  But you're not like, hello, dear.

• 17:54Tig Notaro?

  No, no.

• 17:55Fortune Feimster?

  Kind of thing.

• 17:56Tig Notaro?

  No, and I always say, people aren't going to describe me as like, oh, my God, Tig is so nice.

• 18:02Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 18:03Tig Notaro?

  But I am.

• 18:05Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 18:06Tig Notaro?

  And I got called nice at a friend's house a few nights ago. And I was like, is that true? Am I nice? And they're like, well, I mean, you are, but, and then we got into that about everybody. Like, are you nice? Is it good to be nice? Is it?

• 18:24Fortune Feimster?

  Right.

• 18:25Tig Notaro?

  Um, I don't know. What is your feeling about nice?

• 18:29Fortune Feimster?

  I totally understand exactly what you're saying.

• 18:33Tig Notaro?

  About what?

• 18:33Fortune Feimster?

  About the difference of like, somebody that, a person that's just like, is that kind of like, like, never met a stranger, very open, like, oh, honey, that's like, you know?

• 18:49Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 18:50Fortune Feimster?

  You just, they're just so sugary, sweet.

• 18:52Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 18:53Fortune Feimster?

  Um, and, and then, but you lead in a different way. You're like, hey, what's up?

• 18:59Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, that's not the only version of nice.

• 19:02Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 19:03Tig Notaro?

  There's so many different versions of nice.

• 19:05Fortune Feimster?

  I see what you mean. I'm trying to think of a compliment. I mean, usually if someone's saying a compliment, I just take it to be sincere and I just go, thank you.

• 19:17Tig Notaro?

  It is an interesting question. I mean, our, our listeners do send in very interesting questions.

• 19:24Fortune Feimster?

  I, cause here's the thing, I think that if someone were to say something like that to me.

• 19:30Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm.

• 19:31Fortune Feimster?

  Instead of me thinking that.

• 19:34Tig Notaro?

  Wait, to say what?

• 19:35Fortune Feimster?

  If they were to compliment me on something.

• 19:37Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 19:38Fortune Feimster?

  And instead of, I don't think my brain would go, that's not true.

• 19:44Tig Notaro?

  Uh huh.

• 19:44Fortune Feimster?

  I think, I would think, do they, maybe they see something.

• 19:50Fortune Feimster?

  I hadn't thought of.

• 19:51Tig Notaro?

  Uh huh.

• 19:52Fortune Feimster?

  Or maybe they see something and don't see in myself. And like, oh, that's cool.

• 19:57Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm.

• 19:58Fortune Feimster?

  But I don't know that I'm going, that's false. Does that make sense?

• 20:02Tig Notaro?

  Yes, which brings me to the thought of when you, when you have a not great show. And I know that's happened for me where afterwards, people are like, that was so funny. And I know that's not true. I know the show did not go well.

• 20:21Fortune Feimster?

  I'm sure I have like, um, you know, like every woman in the world. I have some like, if someone tells me I'm pretty, I'm just like, ah. Like I don't, that just doesn't really resonate with me. I don't think I'm ugly, but I'm not like, yeah.

• 20:38Tig Notaro?

  Well, you know, you're an attractive person.

• 20:40Fortune Feimster?

  I think, uh, but it's encompassing many different things than just like a physical thing.

• 20:47Tig Notaro?

  Well, I mean, that for the, I would say most people.

• 20:50Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 20:50Tig Notaro?

  I mean, there are some people where it's solely physical. But then it makes them not attractive.

• 20:56Fortune Feimster?

  Right.

• 20:56Tig Notaro?

  Because it's only physical.

• 20:58Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. I guess that probably doesn't resonate with me as much, maybe than like someone telling me I'm funny. I'd be like, oh, thanks.

• 21:04Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. So you, it's hard to take pretty little lady.

• 21:07Fortune Feimster?

  Pretty little lady I can somehow take because it's silly.

• 21:13Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 21:13Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, that's weird. Does Ivy have an answer?

• 21:16Tig Notaro?

  I bet so.

• 21:17Speaker 04

  For me, I have been told that I'm unflappable. Like calm in a crisis, which is great that that's what I'm projecting, but a hundred percent not true. I'm freaking out. All right. Back to you later.

• 21:33Fortune Feimster?

  That's a good one.

• 21:37Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 21:37Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, like you, you, someone put out that air of having it. Together in a crisis, but you're like, no, no, I'm the one uh running for cover.

• 21:49Tig Notaro?

  Struggling.

• 21:50Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 21:51Tig Notaro?

  How are you? Are you unflap- you feel unflappable?

• 21:54Fortune Feimster?

  Um, I joke that I'm like not butch because I'm not like, you know.

• 21:59Tig Notaro?

  Same, Zeez.

• 21:59Fortune Feimster?

  Typical in that way, but I, I would think in a real jam, I would step up.

• 22:05Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm, mm hmm, mm hmm.

• 22:07Fortune Feimster?

  Um, and, and figure out the crisis.

• 22:11Tig Notaro?

  Same, unless there's blood.

• 22:14Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, yeah?

• 22:15Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I'll be unconscious.

• 22:17Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 22:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I'll faint. I'm done.

• 22:20Fortune Feimster?

  I don't get, I don't get squeamish about that.

• 22:23Tig Notaro?

  Stephanie has to step up in those moments. I'm like, oh, God, oh, God, I have to lie down. Oh, God. Yeah.

• 22:29Fortune Feimster?

  I think too, like, you don't really know how you'd be in a situation, you know, if in a real mess. This is like, I, I had a show at a comedy club years ago and they, I was in the green room and um, people started flooding down the hall and I was like, and they looked, I've never seen the look of fear on people's faces the way I saw um when they came around the corner and there was an, they uh, they, they saw an active shooter.

• 23:05Tig Notaro?

  Oh, God.

• 23:06Fortune Feimster?

  And um, you know, you hear about this awful stuff and you don't know how, how it will be and they were coming to basically like a dead end. And I'm like, you have to like go this way through the kitchen, like don't, you know, don't get in a dead end. And it was like um eerily quiet. Everyone had like scattered and hidden and um, I just remember like just kind of like walking around the corner, trying to look and like, I was kind of surprised that I wasn't running away. I was just like trying to find where the trouble was and I'm like, it ended up

• 23:50Fortune Feimster?

  being like a knife thing in a movie theater and someone yelled gun. So it ended up, thank God, being a non thing, but it, the way it scared people was so. Jarring and I'll never forget the look on people's faces, but um, I don't know if, if there was real trouble, I, you know, you should run for sure. But I was like, what am I doing?

• 24:10Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 24:11Fortune Feimster?

  Going towards whatever might be there. I'm not gonna know how to fix something around the house, but if you're in a pickle, I got you, boo.

• 24:21Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm. Yeah, me too. Unless there's blood.

• 24:24Fortune Feimster?

  Unless there's blood and you're passing out.

• 24:26Tig Notaro?

  I am not available. My friends, submit your questions to speakpipe.com/hansampod.

• 24:37Fortune Feimster?

  Mm hmm.

• 24:38Tig Notaro?

  And um, yeah, share this show with your loved ones. Really, though, if you like an episode, help us build this handsome, pretty little lady and lady community.

• 24:49Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 24:50Tig Notaro?

  You got anything to promote?

• 24:51Fortune Feimster?

  Foo Bar is out on Netflix. Check that out. And uh, if you want to come to Vegas, I'm there tomorrow night. Uh, or, uh, yeah, tomorrow night at the Palazzo. So come on out there in Lexington and Knoxville, Tennessee. I got a lot of fun shows.

• 25:05Tig Notaro?

  June 21st, I'll be at Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles. August 17th, West Hampton Beach, New York, and August 23rd, P-Town, Massachusetts. So come on out, tignotaro.com. And until next time.

• 25:21Fortune Feimster?

  Keep it pretty handsome.

• 25:25Mae Martin?

  Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at [email protected]. And please follow us on social media at HandsomePod.

• 25:48Speaker 00

  That was a HeadGum Podcast.