Charlie Puth

Musician Charlie Puth feels blank about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. Charlie sits down with Conan to discuss his worldwide tour for his latest album Whatever’s Clever!, how to change the energy of a room with a single sound, why musicians who make it all about themselves are the first to fall, and more. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com. Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: (669) 587-2847.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:03Conan O'Brien?

  When it comes to insurance, Farmers doesn't like surprises. That's why there's Farmers coverage on a page. What is it you ask? Did you ask? I don't think you did, but let's pretend you did.

• 0:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, okay, what is that?

• 0:14Conan O'Brien?

  It's your coverage on a page, pretty straightforward.

• 0:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:18Conan O'Brien?

  That's good, because sometimes it gets confusing, you know? What am I covered for, what am I not? Here, it's all on a page. Does your insurance do that? Get a quote to get started at Farmers.com. Don't be confused, don't wonder. Farmers makes it pretty clear. Underwritten by Farmers Truck or Fire Insurance Exchanges or Affiliate. Products not available in every state.

• 0:40Conan O'Brien?

  Now, Sona, clearly, I'm a very important person to you.

• 0:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:43Conan O'Brien?

  Just accept the premise and we'll move ahead.

• 0:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 0:45Conan O'Brien?

  I'm a very important person to you. What would you get me from Macy's for the holidays?

• 0:51Speaker 01

  A vase.

• 0:52Conan O'Brien?

  No, I don't want a vase, I want something better.

• 0:55Speaker 01

  A jacket.

• 0:56Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, nice jacket, I love a nice jacket.

• 0:58Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, that jacket, nice jacket.

• 0:59Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, so now you have to do it, because you said you would.

• 1:00Speaker 01

  Aw, man, I didn't know you were doing that.

• 1:03Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I know the holidays are months away, but it's never too early, Sona, to find gifts that I will love, gifts I will wear, and surprises that make the season unforgettable for me.

• 1:14Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:15Conan O'Brien?

  Macy's Gift Guide makes holiday shopping easy with beauty favorites, stylish fashion, jewelry, cozy essentials, must-have toys, home upgrades, and picks for every person on your list. Coach handbags, Breville appliances, Lego UG, and more, all in one place. You can skip the scrolling and shop with confidence. Shop now in-store or online at Macy's.com/giftguide.

• 1:40Speaker 02

  Hi, my name is Charlie Puth.

• 1:45Speaker 02

  And I feel blank about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

• 1:50Conan O'Brien?

  We're gonna fill in that blank, and by the end of this episode, you're gonna feel, I think the word's gonna be ecstatic.

• 1:56Speaker 02

  Or filled.

• 1:58Conan O'Brien?

  That makes me uncomfortable, Charlie.

• 2:22Conan O'Brien?

  Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. I'm Conan O'Brien, of course, and I'm joined by Sonam of Sessian. Hello, Sonam.

• 2:30Speaker 01

  Very good to be here. Thanks for having me.

• 2:32Conan O'Brien?

  And David Hopping is, of course, filling in for Matt Gourley.

• 2:35Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 2:36Conan O'Brien?

  Who's on paternity leave.

• 2:37Speaker 01

  Forever. Still gone.

• 2:40Conan O'Brien?

  Listen, I respect a guy.

• 2:42Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 2:42Conan O'Brien?

  He takes fatherhood seriously. I did not. When Liza was giving birth to our first child, I left mid-contraction to go back to work. And I still haven't met my daughter, but I'm told she's lovely.

• 2:55Speaker 01

  It's very sweet. He's spending a lot of time with his family.

• 2:58Conan O'Brien?

  It's very nice.

• 2:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:59Conan O'Brien?

  And that's a familial bond, which is very important. Early on, you've got to do it.

• 3:03Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 3:04Conan O'Brien?

  But he'll return one day.

• 3:08Conan O'Brien?

  Until that time, there's much to talk about. So I had a nice surprise, which is I turn on the TV the other morning. The TV's just on in the background, and they go, "And coming up, Sonam of Sessian."

• 3:17Speaker 01

  Ew.

• 3:17Conan O'Brien?

  And it was, was it, what's it called, Good Day L.A.?

• 3:20Speaker 01

  It's called Good Day L.A. It's on Fox 11 News. It's a local, yeah. People from L.A. know Good Day L.A.

• 3:26Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, it's the thing. And, you know, I was just like, "I've got to watch Fox right now." I was just like, "I've got to see my Fox."

• 3:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You love a local Fox affiliate.

• 3:35Conan O'Brien?

  I love a Fox affiliate, and that's just the way I've always been. And then I hear, "We'll be right back with Sonam of Sessian."

• 3:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, baby.

• 3:43Conan O'Brien?

  And you come on, and you have a book that's coming out fairly soon. Your first book, which was a smash hit, World's Worst Assistant.

• 3:51Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 3:52Conan O'Brien?

  I don't see why it was so popular, because it's just a book about truth.

• 3:59Speaker 01

  About my time being your assistant.

• 4:01Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, yes.

• 4:01Speaker 01

  Called the world's worst assistant.

• 4:03Conan O'Brien?

  You wrote the foreword. I wrote the foreword.

• 4:06Speaker 01

  And this is the world's worst mom.

• 4:07Conan O'Brien?

  This one's called World's Worst Mom. It's all about your adventures raising your, uh, your two lovely boys.

• 4:14Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 4:14Conan O'Brien?

  AKA monsters. They're lovely. They're lovely. I love those guys.

• 4:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, but they are monsters, but they're adorable.

• 4:19Conan O'Brien?

  I love winding them up. When they come here to the office, I drop everything I'm doing and I chase them around.

• 4:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:27Conan O'Brien?

  They get super hyper, so they're not gonna go to sleep for six days. And then I say, gotta go, and I go into a recording session. And I always see your husband Tac looking like, F you, man. They are plutonium by the time I'm done with them.

• 4:41Speaker 01

  They are. They're psychotic.

• 4:43Conan O'Brien?

  I chase them upstairs, downstairs. They chase me.

• 4:46Speaker 01

  They love it. They love it.

• 4:47Conan O'Brien?

  So this is you on the news, Son of a Sessian, and, um, I was thinking, I, I just, I'm sorry. I had to look at that and think, look how far you've come. Amazing.

• 4:58Speaker 01

  I grew up watching Good Day L.A. And then I was on it. I've, but I also, I've never done live television. And I had to be very aware of what I talked about.

• 5:10Conan O'Brien?

  Right. You've done a lot of things with me, but those are on tape.

• 5:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:14Conan O'Brien?

  And there's time to pull things up a bit if you get salty with your language. Cause you did some time in the Navy and you have a... You got a mouth on you, sister, right? And so, um, I was amazed at how professional you were.

• 5:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:29Conan O'Brien?

  Almost like you took classes.

• 5:32Speaker 01

  What do you mean, like media training classes?

• 5:34Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, have you ever done that?

• 5:35Speaker 01

  Do you think I've done that?

• 5:37Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know. You have this ability, which you've always had, to appear like a normal person when necessary.

• 5:43Speaker 01

  Well...

• 5:44Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, you know what I mean? Like, you're very charming and, um, you're not dropping F-bombs. You're not, uh, telling raunchy stories. You are just this glowing, uh...

• 5:55Speaker 01

  Well, sometimes when I was working for you.

• 5:58Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 5:58Speaker 01

  As your assistant.

• 5:59Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 5:59Speaker 01

  There were times when we had to interact with, like, actual, real people.

• 6:04Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 6:04Speaker 01

  Like professional, decent people.

• 6:06Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 6:06Speaker 01

  And so you have to, like, you have to switch it up. We can't be like, oh, fuck you, yeah, fuck you, in front of, like, you know, Michelle Obama or like her people.

• 6:14Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I hope not. Jesus.

• 6:19Speaker 01

  But we can't do that. So it, you know, you have to be good.

• 6:22Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 6:22Speaker 01

  And professional.

• 6:23Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 6:24Speaker 01

  And so yesterday I was on the news. I was on the news and I was following Manny Pacquiao, which was crazy.

• 6:30Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 6:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, he was on before me. And I, uh, and yeah, I had so much fun. And those women I was on with, one of whom is my friend, Araxia, and then the other two anchors, everyone was so professional. They're so like cool. They're fun. They look great.

• 6:46Conan O'Brien?

  And I don't mean to insert myself in a situation, but don't you think in a way they had you on to kind of get to the big dog? Do you know what I mean? Like, was there anything like, oh, so you're here, Sona? That's great. Is he coming?

• 6:59Speaker 01

  Oh, they think like you come with me?

• 7:01Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 7:01Speaker 01

  And then you would just replace me?

• 7:03Conan O'Brien?

  No, not replace you, but you have to, look, it's just gotta be a thing in your life where you have to be a little suspicious that people maybe you're, if someone's being nice to you, oh, it's just to get to the guy.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  Okay, alright. Listen, you're doing bits about this, but you're also right. You're right.

• 7:21Conan O'Brien?

  I'm not doing a bit.

• 7:22Speaker 01

  Comes to me to get to you.

• 7:24Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 7:24Speaker 01

  They do.

• 7:25Conan O'Brien?

  You know that I'm gonna get a call tomorrow from Good Day L.A. and they're gonna be like, well, um, Sona was on, so I guess now your turn?

• 7:35Speaker 01

  Well, yeah.

• 7:35Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 7:36Speaker 01

  Well, it's kind of like you're at a feast and there's like scraps falling and I'm like, yay, I get to eat.

• 7:43Conan O'Brien?

  You just likened yourself to an animal under the table.

• 7:48Speaker 01

  But I've always been a barnacle on your cruise ship and I'm fine with that and I love it. And I get to do things like go on Good Day L.A. And that's what I'm saying. I don't mind.

• 7:56Conan O'Brien?

  And you know what? I'm gonna say barnacles are necessary. They serve a function.

• 7:59Speaker 01

  What?

• 8:00Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know what it is.

• 8:03Conan O'Brien?

  I know they have to be scraped off religiously.

• 8:05Speaker 01

  They do.

• 8:06Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, but they must serve some function.

• 8:09Speaker 01

  No, they don't. That's the whole point. You have to scrape them off.

• 8:12Conan O'Brien?

  Well, then you're a barnacle. Yeah.

• 8:13Speaker 01

  I'm a barnacle.

• 8:14Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, okay.

• 8:15Speaker 01

  And you know what? It's cool. I feel like I'm a con man. I have done the perfect grift and I'm cool with it.

• 8:22Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 8:22Speaker 01

  I am perfectly happy with this.

• 8:24Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I will say I've blown, I mean, every time I see, uh, It's Sona. Every time I see this Sona. Yeah. Um, out in the world, I'm very impressed. You, you, uh, you, you look great. You're very engaging, you're funny, and the thing I've always said about you is you don't change when the camera's on you. You don't change when you're in here being on the podcast. You don't change. I swear to God, if I made you come out with me at the top of the Oscars, you would be Sona.

• 8:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, I mean, I like to think so.

• 8:58Conan O'Brien?

  Because most people, I, I know hardly anyone. You might be the, you're the most natural person in every situation. That's pretty cool.

• 9:06Speaker 01

  Thank you. And you know, a few weeks ago, I did a keynote speech at the Writers Workshop in Dayton, the Irma Bombeck Writers Workshop. I wrote a speech and I, I remember I sent you a text because you're doing the Harvard commencement speech this year and I was like, if you need help. I'm right here. I am a speech champion.

• 9:24Conan O'Brien?

  You are a speech champion and you bring that up a lot that you're a speech champion.

• 9:28Speaker 01

  I bring it up every, almost every day.

• 9:29Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 9:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know.

• 9:30Conan O'Brien?

  A huge impact on your life.

• 9:32Speaker 01

  Kind of.

• 9:33Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 9:33Speaker 01

  I mean, I'm doing this for a living, which is just talking.

• 9:36Conan O'Brien?

  This isn't, couldn't be a living.

• 9:38Speaker 01

  This is my living.

• 9:39Conan O'Brien?

  Is it now?

• 9:39Speaker 01

  This is literally my livelihood.

• 9:40Conan O'Brien?

  Paid as my assistant? Do you still get paid as my assistant?

• 9:44Speaker 01

  Yes, I do.

• 9:45Conan O'Brien?

  Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

• 9:52Speaker 03

  Back in October, I had to go to a wedding. She covered me for two days.

• 9:55Speaker 01

  I covered him for two days, remember?

• 9:57Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 9:58Speaker 01

  We went to the eye doctor. That's why you pay me.

• 10:01Conan O'Brien?

  Why did I go to the eye doctor?

• 10:03Speaker 01

  Why did you go to, you went to the eye doctor?

• 10:05Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, that's right. They were watering. And then it turned out, they said, you're having an emotion.

• 10:10Conan O'Brien?

  That, that's how repressed I am. I said, my eyes are watering and they went, anything happened? Well, you know, my parents died last year and also this sad thing happened. And they said, that's called crying.

• 10:22Speaker 01

  But I do things sometimes. I don't, I actually don't. I don't do anything.

• 10:26Conan O'Brien?

  That's incredible. And this is, we have just, we ju, I just saw this rock. I was walking through the forest and I saw this rock and I just lifted it up and I saw.

• 10:37Conan O'Brien?

  Scandal, depravity, injustice.

• 10:41Conan O'Brien?

  And I quickly put the rock down. But if you think we're not revisiting this rock and lifting it up again, you're sorely mistaken because this is a scandal. And I want, I want Sue Lane in here. I want Sarah Fetterovich in here. I want to open the books on this thing because I think you're committing a crime.

• 10:59Speaker 01

  How dare you?

• 11:00Conan O'Brien?

  How dare you? How dare me?

• 11:02Speaker 01

  The fallout from being your assistant has been that I am attached to you for the rest of your life. So for the rest of your life, you're paying me to be your assistant. Even though I'm not assisting you.

• 11:15Conan O'Brien?

  I'm going to investigate this. I'm gonna get into the weeds. This is a crime. This is a crime at every level.

• 11:20Speaker 01

  It is.

• 11:21Conan O'Brien?

  And we're gonna have to figure out, I mean, yeah, I mean, unbelievable, unbelievable.

• 11:27Speaker 01

  I still get notifications when it's someone's birthday. I don't do anything with the notifications, but I get them.

• 11:34Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, yeah? Did you get a notification about this Saturday? My fucking birthday?

• 11:41Conan O'Brien?

  Hey, I think the barnacle should learn the birthday of the cruise ship it's been hanging out on. You had no idea? Oh, I get notifications about important birthdays. Oh, yeah, how about this Saturday? Huh? Whoa? Uh-huh?

• 12:00Speaker 01

  Oh, I mean.

• 12:02Conan O'Brien?

  You just remember, you don't need a notification because it's just.

• 12:04Speaker 01

  It's there. I always know it. I have it tattooed on my leg.

• 12:08Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, yeah.

• 12:09Speaker 01

  April 18th. Thumbs up.

• 12:11Conan O'Brien?

  All right. Listen.

• 12:13Speaker 01

  Shut up, Blaze!

• 12:15Conan O'Brien?

  Wow. We've exposed so much crime. The rot goes deep. The rot goes deep. All right, my guest today is a singer-songwriter whose fourth studio album, Whatever's Clever, is out now. Very excited to chat with this gentleman.

• 12:34Conan O'Brien?

  Charlie Puth, welcome.

• 12:40Conan O'Brien?

  Is this a first? I think after 35 years of doing this podcast, for the first time, our guest, Charlie Puth, has a keyboard in front of you, which is really cool and may become mandatory for everyone. I may just say, even if they, most people won't play the keyboard, but I'll insist that it be there and that they take a few stabs at it.

• 12:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:00Speaker 02

  It kind of colors my words a little bit more, like if I'm, if I have like a really good idea.

• 13:07Speaker 02

  If I'm introspect.

• 13:10Conan O'Brien?

  Let me, let me ask you something. What if I start to speak and things get menacing?

• 13:14Speaker 02

  I'm gonna switch it to the piano.

• 13:15Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Let me tell you something, Charlie.

• 13:18Speaker 01

  Oh, yes!

• 13:20Conan O'Brien?

  I don't like you and I don't like what you stand for. I've never liked these musicians, these prodigies, and I'm gonna kill you.

• 13:35Conan O'Brien?

  Now let's have it get happy.

• 13:36Speaker 02

  And then I don't get killed.

• 13:36Conan O'Brien?

  Wait a minute, I'm off of my meds, but now I'm back on my meds again, Charlie.

• 13:39Speaker 02

  Because now we're in C major and you don't end up killing me. That's good, see? I'm, I'm, I'm in it now.

• 13:46Conan O'Brien?

  You're in it now. Lovely to have you here. There is so much to talk about. You're on fire at the moment. You've got this great album out.

• 13:55Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 13:56Conan O'Brien?

  And I'm very excited to have you here. Because, I mean, I just want to talk about something. First of all, it's called "Whatever's Clever." First of all, this is crazy, but one of your tracks is "Don't Meet Your Heroes", and yet, here you are.

• 14:08Speaker 01

  High five, Sona. I don't know.

• 14:10Speaker 02

  Holy shit.

• 14:12Speaker 01

  I had to.

• 14:13Conan O'Brien?

  I love "I Used to Be Cringe." I was listening to that. That actually might be my favorite song on the album. It's a really good song. And you talk about how... Is that ass?

• 14:24Speaker 02

  They said, "Don't play more than six seconds of a song", but I'll let you play, I'll, I'll, I'll give the rights to you, or whatever the fuck it is.

• 14:29Conan O'Brien?

  No, you just, wait a minute. You just gave me the rights to a Charlie Puth song?

• 14:35Speaker 01

  Yeah!

• 14:36Conan O'Brien?

  You idiot! And that's a verbal contract! That's what I got. My new scam is gonna be getting, you know, Billie Eilish in here, getting Taylor Swift in here, getting Sabrina Carpenter here, and then having them blur it out. Okay, you can have the rights. And then overnight, I've got seven yachts strapped together.

• 14:54Speaker 02

  I don't know if I used to be cringe is gonna give you seven yachts, but...

• 14:58Conan O'Brien?

  I really like it. Um, I identify with the song, though mine would not be past tense. I remain cringe.

• 15:05Speaker 02

  Well, mine, mine isn't past tense either.

• 15:09Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, and then I love this. One of my favorite people was Jeff Goldblum. You have a collab, uh, with Jeff Goldblum on a song called Until It Happens To You. And I thought, oh, because I know Jeff's a musician, this is gonna be Jeff playing. When you get to his part, which would normally be like rap or singing a solo part, it's him talking, and it's fantastic. It's, it's a great, uh, 10cc shot of pure Goldblum in the song.

• 15:35Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 15:35Speaker 02

  It's, it's, he's like, "Well, boys, if, if, if I were to tell you..." That kinda, kinda sounds like Howard Stern.

• 15:41Conan O'Brien?

  That's good, though. That's good.

• 15:42Speaker 01

  That was a good one.

• 15:42Speaker 02

  But like, it's a song about, um, reacting to losing a loved one. And it's, it's kind of, it's kind of like a disguise and like very happy.

• 15:52Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, yes.

• 15:52Speaker 02

  Uh, uh, very happy chords, but it's just like, it's about death, it's about death. And Jeff Goldblum, like, well, he made us all cry in the, in the studio because he just like, started speaking to his kids who weren't there, but like, speaking to us like we were his kids. And it felt like the end of a, a movie where the credits kind of slowly trickle down and everyone's walking away into the sunset down the yellow brick road.

• 16:16Conan O'Brien?

  I liked, um, first of all, it's Goldblum who's got the most distinctive. And he's up there with Christopher Walken and a couple of other iconic people who have such a distinctive way of speaking. And it's almost the part of the song where someone would scat. And he is kind of scatting, but it's, then I realized, that's just how Jeff Goldblum talks. Just, "Uh, uh, uh, yeah." And he's doing that, and you realize that, oh, this is a version of jazz. What is, and it's just the way Jeff Goldblum talks.

• 16:44Speaker 02

  Absolutely, it is. And I, you know, I strive to find the most melodic people on, uh, on anything that I, any project that I make.

• 16:51Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, I'll do it.

• 16:53Conan O'Brien?

  Wait, I'm sorry.

• 16:54Speaker 02

  That was my next question.

• 16:55Conan O'Brien?

  I thought that was an invite. I've got the rights to one song.

• 16:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:58Conan O'Brien?

  And now I'm gonna be in another song. You're, this is the worst day for your career ever.

• 17:04Speaker 02

  Spending a lot of money.

• 17:05Conan O'Brien?

  I said you were on fire, and you are, but it ends here.

• 17:08Speaker 02

  I'm like negative like $26.

• 17:15Conan O'Brien?

  Um, I've gotta mention, we'll talk more about the album in a second, but, um, and when I say a second, I mean, towards the end of the interview. But you killed the National Anthem. And you must be getting at the Super Bowl.

• 17:26Speaker 02

  Very hard song to sing.

• 17:27Conan O'Brien?

  It is. It's a very hard song, he said, being a comedian, not a musician. But I've always heard the trick is, and the rocket's red glare takes such a big leap. Who owns the National Anthem? I'm sure Trump has it now, but.

• 17:44Conan O'Brien?

  No, he bought the rights, like six weeks, you know, when no one was looking. But what, what, I've always heard the secret is to start low.

• 17:52Speaker 02

  Well.

• 17:53Conan O'Brien?

  That's what I would do. I would be like, oh, say can, I would start down there.

• 17:57Speaker 02

  Well, you were doing it in C major. Oh, say.

• 17:59Conan O'Brien?

  Say can you. So then when I go up to, have the rocket's red. I can.

• 18:04Speaker 02

  You'd have to go an octave up from huh, oh, say, actually, no, you're correct.

• 18:08Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I have. I was right, wasn't I? Oh, say can you see?

• 18:17Conan O'Brien?

  Have the rocket's red glare, would you have to?

• 18:20Speaker 02

  It feels so patriotic.

• 18:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:22Speaker 02

  In this moment. Well, I mean visually, if I can represent, the reason why it's hard to sing is because like you start, if you're gonna start here, and then you have to go here, and then you have to actually go.

• 18:33Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 18:33Speaker 02

  Up here at the middle end of, at the end of the song, so you don't get a break.

• 18:37Conan O'Brien?

  When I see someone start the National Anthem too high. Oh, oh, say, I'm like, you're dead. You are dead. And I say that, I start screaming at the TV, you're dead!

• 18:49Speaker 02

  Cause then you act awkwardly change keys.

• 18:53Speaker 02

  Nobody comes to mind because everybody nails the National Anthem, obviously.

• 18:57Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, I bet you have some.

• 18:59Speaker 02

  No, everyone's great.

• 19:00Conan O'Brien?

  You seem like too nice a guy, but you know, I know in your head right now, there are some names of people.

• 19:06Speaker 01

  I think we're all thinking of...

• 19:07Speaker 02

  But you're correct, when you start too high.

• 19:09Speaker 01

  Specific one, yeah.

• 19:10Conan O'Brien?

  Go ahead, Sona, what's that?

• 19:11Speaker 01

  Fergie.

• 19:12Speaker 02

  I'm trying to get off the exit here.

• 19:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:15Speaker 02

  When you...

• 19:15Speaker 01

  You're mine, I'm the one who said it.

• 19:18Conan O'Brien?

  Charlie, and I didn't say anything. What are you saying, Sona?

• 19:19Speaker 01

  Fergie, she famously went crazy. She went buck wild with the Star Spangled Banner.

• 19:24Conan O'Brien?

  Did she start too high?

• 19:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't know.

• 19:26Speaker 02

  Don't ask me, man.

• 19:27Speaker 01

  Don't ask me, I don't know, I think I'm toned up.

• 19:30Conan O'Brien?

  This is Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York?

• 19:32Speaker 01

  Yes, yes, Sarah Ferguson, yes.

• 19:34Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, well, she had no business singing the National Anthem.

• 19:36Speaker 01

  I know, I agree.

• 19:38Speaker 02

  London Bridge is a fantastic...

• 19:41Conan O'Brien?

  And again, not, it stays in a restrained range. If I'm ever asked to sing the National Anthem, and I know it's, it hasn't happened yet, but I'm still very young in my career.

• 19:52Speaker 01

  It's coming.

• 19:53Conan O'Brien?

  It's coming. Thanks, Charlie.

• 19:54Speaker 02

  Budding artist, you.

• 19:55Conan O'Brien?

  I will start low, I will start low.

• 19:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, but you are correct in your assessment. You don't want to start like, "Oh, oh, say..." because then you have to go...

• 20:05Conan O'Brien?

  I wonder how high I could start and still hit it. "Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn's early light, what so adly we hail in the lattes of deening, There is certain massage of the Sabbath today. Oh, ha, ba, ba, ba, it best say, ba, ba, sha, ba." Here we go.

• 20:24Speaker 01

  America's great.

• 20:37Speaker 02

  A modern day Minnie Riperton.

• 20:41Conan O'Brien?

  You know what? You ran out of keyboard. And I saw you pull some extra white keys out of your pocket and glue them.

• 20:47Speaker 02

  I had to really drive this shit up. You got really loud there for a second.

• 20:51Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, yeah, it's insane. It's insane, but I...

• 20:54Speaker 02

  It was kind of like a cross between Tiny Tim and like Freddie Mercury.

• 20:57Speaker 01

  How dare you?

• 20:58Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, it was. It's a very good musical analysis. I had my testicles removed six weeks ago in preparation for this interview.

• 21:09Conan O'Brien?

  And I'm told they might be able to reattach them. Might, if they can find them.

• 21:15Speaker 02

  See, you don't get stuff like this in Santa Barbara, where I live.

• 21:21Speaker 02

  You have to come to Hollywood for this shit.

• 21:25Conan O'Brien?

  You know what I love?

• 21:27Conan O'Brien?

  Charlie, you perform a great service, which is, I just want to make sure I get the title right.

• 21:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:33Conan O'Brien?

  Professor Puth TikTok series. You have this TikTok series that I enjoy because I'm an amateur musician and I like to play around with guitar and I like to try and make music with other musicians in my way. A lot of qualifiers there.

• 21:51Speaker 02

  You're a musician. You're downplaying it.

• 21:53Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I love doing it. It's a big part of my like private hobby life. But I've always been phobic about theory. And I was phobic about math when I was a kid and when people would bring up math, I would think, I'm not smart. I can't do this. And I would shut down about math. And in the same way, when people bring up theory, I love to mess around on the guitar. And then when someone says, well, that's interesting. That's the relative minor. So you can take the relative minor, but remember, if you play the flat, remember, there are three flats. I just blackout.

• 22:28Speaker 02

  I do too.

• 22:29Conan O'Brien?

  You do? Really?

• 22:30Speaker 02

  Absolutely, I do. I'm not just saying that to make you feel better. I really, I remember there's a, you know, solfège, do, re, mi, fa.

• 22:37Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 22:38Speaker 02

  That is put in place so you can know, it's like, it's built as a reference for singers. So like, do, oh, now it's a toy piano sound.

• 22:47Conan O'Brien?

  Good job, Schroeder.

• 22:49Speaker 02

  This is, C is do and then fa is F, but I don't need do, fa. Like, it's an extra effort for me to remember that. I just know it's C and F. So I would go to my teacher and be like, I don't know how to read solfège. She was like, well, you have to know how to read solfège. You're in fucking solfège class.

• 23:07Conan O'Brien?

  I don't like the way this teacher talked to you.

• 23:10Speaker 02

  And I was like, if you don't know how to read it properly, you have to go to solfège three. But like, and I would hold up the piece of paper, but I can sing and playback every note perfectly because I don't need the reference. I have it in my head. She said, it doesn't matter. You have to go back to three. So I share that with you where I would get nervous.

• 23:33Conan O'Brien?

  You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?

• 23:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:36Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen, you know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.

• 23:50Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 23:51Conan O'Brien?

  Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.

• 23:59Speaker 01

  I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.

• 24:04Conan O'Brien?

  I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5 N, which I love. Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid is fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?

• 24:23Speaker 01

  Hello.

• 24:24Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid, yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space. With available, I have this memorized, H-Track all-wheel drive, up to an EPA-estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty, it's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality, innovation, technology, and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View US News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details.

• 24:58Conan O'Brien?

  Did you know that one in four Americans targeted by scams end up falling for them? You fell for one.

• 25:04Speaker 01

  I fell for a scam.

• 25:05Conan O'Brien?

  Now, you didn't lose too much money, but you did lose.

• 25:07Speaker 01

  I did lose and it was very inconvenient and now they put protections on my account like I'm, uh, dumb.

• 25:13Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I don't know where they got that impression.

• 25:17Conan O'Brien?

  Criminals are now using AI to make scams look more realistic than ever. In 2025, AI fraud spiked 1,210% and cost Americans $893 million. That's incredible. Well, with AI, it can get so smart now.

• 25:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:34Conan O'Brien?

  Do you know what I mean?

• 25:34Speaker 01

  Maybe I should start scamming.

• 25:36Conan O'Brien?

  No, that's not the point.

• 25:37Speaker 01

  No, that's not the point of this.

• 25:38Conan O'Brien?

  That's not the point.

• 25:39Speaker 01

  It's so much money.

• 25:40Conan O'Brien?

  Click, Sona can expose your information, putting you at risk of identity theft. Luckily, this is the point. Not that you should start scamming, but that everyone should get LifeLock.

• 25:49Speaker 01

  Right, right, right, right.

• 25:50Conan O'Brien?

  LifeLock has live US-based restoration specialists who will be with you every step of the way to fix your identity theft from first alert to full restoration. This is fantastic. How do you not have this?

• 26:01Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 26:02Conan O'Brien?

  If you have expenses or money stolen due to identity theft, you're backed by the million-dollar protection package with up to $3 million coverage in some plans. Join now and save up to 30% off your first year. Go to lifelock.com/conan. That's lifelock.com/conan to save 30%. Terms apply.

• 26:21Conan O'Brien?

  Sona, you have to admit, the holidays, it's really about hanging with the people you love.

• 26:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:27Conan O'Brien?

  And getting to be yourself, not going to some stuffy holiday party where you need to conform to what the man wants you to think about the holidays.

• 26:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:36Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, it's about being yourself. Turn your holiday time into Miller time by enjoying a Miller Lite in a place where you're free to enjoy yourself on a walk with a cousin. With a cousin? Why are they getting all specific about it?

• 26:48Speaker 01

  Because it's family.

• 26:48Conan O'Brien?

  But what about a niece or a nephew?

• 26:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:51Conan O'Brien?

  Um, like a walk with an ex-wife. Uh, I don't know. I mean, they're just throwing, that's a weird, they just made a very specific choice.

• 26:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:59Conan O'Brien?

  Now's the time for those unexpected holiday side guests and enjoy a great tasting light beer. 'Tis Miller time, as Dickens wrote. Miller Lite is brewed for taste, the taste you can depend on. The original light beer since 1975 and still iconic more than 50 years later. I like to be with my bros, my chums, my posse. Crack open a Miller Lite, take a swig, a sip, look around and see my friends. We've known each other forever and we're just hanging out.

• 27:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, you guys are just doing chest bumps and high-fiving.

• 27:29Conan O'Brien?

  Miller Lite is great taste done right. Go to millerlite.com/conan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. 'Tis Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

• 27:51Conan O'Brien?

  You have this great, you know, I use the term origin story a lot on the podcast, but you have this moment, you're interested in music, clearly, and you know you have a facility with music.

• 28:01Speaker 02

  Have I made it clear?

• 28:04Conan O'Brien?

  Well, there is a keyboard in front of you, which Al Pacino did not have. But you, you went to Catholic school.

• 28:13Speaker 02

  I did, yeah.

• 28:13Conan O'Brien?

  You had a moment in Catholic school when, is this correct, an organist, someone who played the organ for you guys at, you know, at a mass or something, wasn't present?

• 28:26Speaker 02

  Do we have an organ sound? I don't think we do, but yeah.

• 28:29Conan O'Brien?

  Did we get you this, or did you bring it?

• 28:30Speaker 02

  I brought it, just because it has my initial CP on it.

• 28:33Conan O'Brien?

  Very nice.

• 28:34Speaker 02

  It's not my piano, I just, it's tiny enough where it's not super.

• 28:38Conan O'Brien?

  See, that's self-involved, that you need your name on everything.

• 28:42Speaker 02

  Very narcissistic.

• 28:43Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, I saw your license plate on your car when you drove, it's Puth Rules.

• 28:47Speaker 02

  Yes, Puth's in here.

• 28:49Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 28:50Speaker 02

  But yes, the church organist didn't show up and they were gonna play it. It was the time of life where they would play things on tape. I don't even know if that exists anymore, but they were gonna play the whole mass on tape and awkwardly pause it and something, they sometimes wouldn't pause it correctly. And then I was like, I know the whole mass from memory, I've heard the songs so many times. Because I thought it was like, if you look at a cup with a deer on it, you're gonna remember what the deer looks like. If you, you know, have a bit that you have to memorize, like if you read it enough, you're gonna remember eventually, if you read it enough times. I thought that was the same thing for everybody, just with sound. And apparently it wasn't typical, and that's how I discovered it.

• 29:33Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, that's, it's funny that you, you thought, well, wait a minute. Okay, the organist isn't here, the person who was supposed to play, but.

• 29:40Speaker 02

  How can I make this about me?

• 29:42Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 29:44Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I would do that, but then have nothing to back it up.

• 29:48Conan O'Brien?

  But you thought to yourself, I, oh, I've heard these a bunch of times, so I'll just go up and play them, and you didn't know that was unusual?

• 29:57Speaker 02

  No, I didn't, because again, I thought it was just like, if you study for a vocabulary test, if you need to memorize the definition of whatever, and not the word whatever, I know what, actually, what is the definition of? Anywho, you read, you read a bunch of definitions, you're gonna memorize them because you heard it so many, or read it so many times.

• 30:17Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 30:17Speaker 02

  I attribute it the same feeling with sound. If I hear a James Taylor song 10 times, I'm gonna know it right away.

• 30:24Conan O'Brien?

  Right. It endlessly fascinates me, that's why I-

• 30:27Speaker 02

  That fascinates me too.

• 30:29Conan O'Brien?

  I love your TikToks. I really love your TikToks because, and this is where it all started. I love when you explain something that I've been hearing and it's around, but now you're explaining why so many songs sound like this. I remember watching one, I forget what it's called, but that whole trend in music where there's a, a soft and a loud, a soft and a loud, and a soft and a loud oscillating, and it's become such an-

• 30:53Speaker 02

  The sidechain compression.

• 30:54Conan O'Brien?

  Sidechain compression, which we-

• 30:57Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, and it's-

• 30:58Speaker 01

  That was so cool.

• 30:59Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, yes.

• 31:00Speaker 01

  I'm sorry.

• 31:01Conan O'Brien?

  Do you want me to do it again? Oh.

• 31:02Speaker 01

  No, no, no.

• 31:03Conan O'Brien?

  You mean what Charlie did.

• 31:04Speaker 01

  What Charlie was doing.

• 31:05Conan O'Brien?

  She meant what Charlie was doing musically was the one you were interested in.

• 31:08Speaker 01

  That's what I like. Were you trying to beatbox?

• 31:11Conan O'Brien?

  No.

• 31:11Speaker 01

  What were you doing?

• 31:12Conan O'Brien?

  I was choking on a chicken bone.

• 31:13Speaker 01

  Okay, that, that, that makes sense.

• 31:15Conan O'Brien?

  But so, no, but what you were doing was, you start explaining what that is, and I realize, I have heard that a million times.

• 31:21Speaker 02

  Right.

• 31:21Conan O'Brien?

  And it's always associated with like a club.

• 31:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:24Conan O'Brien?

  It's in like every, you know, episode of Euphoria, there's people crying, crying with lots of makeup, and it's like, whatever you do it, please, I don't wanna do it again.

• 31:37Speaker 02

  Sounds like a peak in distress or something.

• 31:41Conan O'Brien?

  Sona, I don't understand, you really love this one, you wanna do this?

• 31:45Speaker 01

  That's exactly what Charlie did.

• 31:46Conan O'Brien?

  Please, Charlie, I beg you.

• 31:47Speaker 02

  So, everybody under, like, if you went up to someone on Larchmont right now and was like, what, what, what does dance music sound like? They would go, they would put their hands, if you're in New Jersey, they would put their hands in together, be like,

• 31:58Speaker 01

  Oh, that's cool.

• 32:00Speaker 02

  My, my, my goal is to, so everyone knows that that's like, you know, the broad terminology of like what dance music sounds like, but my goal is to like take it one step further for people, for them to understand that that, all that is, is just volume automation, you know, like-

• 32:15Speaker 02

  Right, that's me playing a C-

• 32:16Conan O'Brien?

  Rising, falling, rising, falling, rising, falling.

• 32:18Speaker 02

  Rising, falling, and it's just volume down, volume up, volume down, volume up.

• 32:21Conan O'Brien?

  And then what's cool is you talk about how a lot of people would think, okay, that's in club music now. Yes, it is, but you'll say, well, they were doing it in the 70s with, or in the 60s with this, then the 70s, they, you know-

• 32:33Speaker 02

  Donna Summer and-

• 32:34Conan O'Brien?

  Donna Summer.

• 32:34Speaker 02

  It wasn't as obvious, though. It was just more of like a way to, it was more of like a really secret engineering trick.

• 32:42Conan O'Brien?

  Right, a little spice that they're putting in and not telling anybody. And then everyone exaggerates it more and more and more. It's like so many other things in music, you can hear something's going on in Sun Session Records in the 19, in 1954, 55. And it's, now we can say, well, it's kind of just sounds kind of very much country, but at the time, it sounded very different to people because, and then people just kept tweaking it and tweaking it and it became-

• 33:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:13Conan O'Brien?

  You know-

• 33:13Speaker 02

  I mean, everybody wants more of what they like, so-

• 33:15Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 33:15Speaker 02

  Like, when I first heard the Black Album, Metallica, like Sad But True- (mimicking guitar playing) The really bright 90s Lars- (mimicking guitar playing) Like a motorcycle fucking like metal kind of, kind of sound. Then I started here, that came from, or might have been inspired by like Living on a Prayer, Bon Jovi, or like another Lang record where they were experimenting, but where did, what came before Living on a Prayer? I'm generalizing. Like In the Air Tonight, Phil Collins, big Peter Gabriel, Phil Collins gated drum sounds.

• 33:53Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 33:53Speaker 02

  Everything, you can trace, the cool thing about music is that you can trace everything back to something.

• 33:58Conan O'Brien?

  Yes. And that's the thing that's true of my business has been comedy, and it is so important for people to know, no one's coming along with a fresh slate. Everybody is, is coming to their-

• 34:14Conan O'Brien?

  Call it a craft, call it a pastime, call it a career, whatever. They're all coming to it with this gumbo that they grew up eating. You know, that was just a mix of so many other influences and everybody's starting with that. So you could, you know, you could say, oh my God, the, I like the most hardcore thrash metal.

• 34:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:35Conan O'Brien?

  But those guys will tell you, well, actually, I was listening to, you know, REO Speedwagon in high school. And you'd be like, wait a minute, REO Speedwagon? And I'm making this up because I don't think that's possible.

• 34:47Speaker 02

  No, but I.

• 34:48Conan O'Brien?

  But you know what I mean? If they, they heard something in that, that then they extrapolated and pulled out and got to where they wanted to go.

• 34:54Speaker 02

  Like, do you, do you remember the first time you ever saw, I guess, the video or the, uh, of like Kinnison at, uh, Dangerfields?

• 35:02Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 35:02Speaker 02

  When he just got up there and started.

• 35:04Conan O'Brien?

  Yelling.

• 35:05Speaker 02

  Yelling.

• 35:05Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:06Speaker 02

  Had anybody done that in comedy before where they just like, I just got back from a seven, I was saying, Marlboro. Like, like I, Dice had his, like, you know, cigarette behind the ear, kind of like.

• 35:17Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 35:18Speaker 02

  Schtick and everything like that, but like, where did that come from, the Nettie Murphy thing? Did that come from a, like, there, Brian Regan not cursing at all in his, in his bits? I don't know if you're enemies of these people or if.

• 35:29Conan O'Brien?

  No.

• 35:30Speaker 02

  I hope you're friendly with all of them.

• 35:32Conan O'Brien?

  You've not named an enemy yet, but if you keep going, no, I don't, I don't have enemies.

• 35:38Speaker 02

  Um, I would listen to like 2005 Dane Cook where he's cursing all over the place. But then I'd hear like a couple of years prior, Brian Regan where he wasn't. It was like, maybe he was listening to that, but just like added in the curses for like extra effect. Like I, I think a lot of comedians are also musicians too, because I think that's, there's a lot of parallels.

• 35:55Conan O'Brien?

  Well, we talk about this a lot. Uh, I bring it up a lot because it fascinates me. Everyone in comedy, uh, envies musicians, I believe, whether they consciously or unconsciously do it. I very consciously, um, envy musicians because I, I always look at a musician as, um, someone who's not judged moment to moment. And I envy that, but, but.

• 36:18Speaker 02

  That's not right.

• 36:19Conan O'Brien?

  Well, no, but, but not what I'm saying moment to moment. I mean, when you start and. You play one of your songs. People aren't pointing, I like this part. Oh, no, no, I don't like that part. Oh, but I like this part again. Oh, but I don't like this part now. That's not how they think about music.

• 36:36Conan O'Brien?

  And that is very much. Comedy is moment to moment, like you get a laugh and then you you do another thing and like less of a laugh. And then sometimes like a, and then like, oh, yeah. And I don't think that happens in music. And I think I've always envied. If you go out and play your hits, everyone's gonna be so happy the whole time. Springsteen's back out there now. Yeah, with the E Street Band and I think.

• 37:01Speaker 02

  I gotta go to that show.

• 37:02Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah, it's gonna be amazing, but no one's, no one's, no one's saying, okay, I like this, this part of this song. Oh, I don't like this part as much. I, but no comic ever gets to the point where they're not judged, I think, moment to moment, in my opinion.

• 37:15Speaker 02

  I'm sure Bruce has had fans who are like, do we have to hear the fucking rising one more time? Do we have to? Let's get to glory days. Let's get to.

• 37:25Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 37:26Speaker 02

  I've, I was, I just put out an album and of course I'm like. Any artist that says that they're not reading reviews or scouring the internet is lying. I am like, I, I look at this. I look at these reviews as much as my child.

• 37:43Conan O'Brien?

  And you nurture them. You nurture them.

• 37:45Speaker 02

  I take them too seriously. Sometimes my wife tells me to stop looking at them. I, I, I saw this one and everyone's entitled to their opinion. I saw this one review saying that Charlie just put out an album. And it is just another soulless attempt at trying to be an artist. And that really hurt my feelings because I actually. I put my, my heart and soul in this and I didn't make this album to make a bunch of hit songs. I wanted to actually talk about, you know. Fatherhood, my family and like, you know, things like that. And they're like, boo, doesn't have a catchy hook. It's like, I've had. And I, you know, I had my song attention. You just wanna attention. You just wanna. I had that song out. It was a number one record and we couldn't sell 3,000 tickets in, I think it was Chicago. It was like 2,000 tickets.

• 38:29Speaker 02

  2,000 people is a lot, but it was a tour meant for five, 6,000. People, I've had hit songs out, people knew the hits more than they knew me. My goal on this album was for people to know me.

• 38:41Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 38:42Speaker 02

  And I've, and sometimes I get jealous of comedians because you know their personality. Like when I, first time I saw Ralphie May, I was like, I became obsessed with like Greg Giraldo. And like, I just, I felt like I knew their personality.

• 38:55Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 38:55Speaker 02

  They've both passed, haven't they?

• 38:56Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, that's okay.

• 38:57Speaker 02

  Oh, man. I just named two people that passed.

• 39:00Conan O'Brien?

  That's okay. It happens, you know.

• 39:03Speaker 02

  People die. Like I, I know you're, I feel like I know you because I've obviously grown up watching you. And like I, your delivery, it's like you are who you portray yourself to be. And whereas a musician, it takes a couple of years for people to get to know you, unless you just nail it right out of the park.

• 39:18Conan O'Brien?

  That's interesting to me that you have worked so many great artists and then you yourself have had so many hits. People know your name and now you're saying, yeah, I, I really wanna get into the autobiographical part of songwriting. And, and have people connect to you that way. That makes perfect sense to me. As far as critics go, there's no escaping criticism. And I got to a point in my career where I don't look for it. I have, you know, sometimes you are just confronted whether you wanna know it or not with the good and the bad. But, and usually people tell you, if there's something really mean about you out there, you'll find out.

• 40:03Conan O'Brien?

  Cause your garbage man will say, hey, did you see that? You know, and I'll say, well, I, I didn't, but thank you.

• 40:11Conan O'Brien?

  I don't think you're the worst fuckhead in the world. Well, I appreciate that.

• 40:18Speaker 02

  Why are you eating so much dairy?

• 40:19Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:22Conan O'Brien?

  Now, the dairy is another issue. We'll talk about the dairy.

• 40:26Speaker 02

  It's coating your stomach for the morning.

• 40:27Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 40:30Conan O'Brien?

  But I would agree with your wife that you don't, I don't think it's necessary to seek it out. Because you know when you're doing work that you like, that's important to you. And so that's why I would agree with. With her, that you going on the internet and looking for what do people think about Charlie Puth is unnecessary.

• 40:50Speaker 02

  Everybody does it though. I mean, it's and and I totally agree with you. It is completely unnecessary, but like it's it's almost like it's almost like high school. You just like want validation. Sometimes you poured your heart and soul into this and you just want people to at least like take a listen to it and understand, but and there are so many, there's millions of people that already have and I'm

• 41:08Conan O'Brien?

  Listen, I'm coming across as if I'm scolding you or telling you this is ridiculous. I completely understand what you're saying, but I've spent a lifetime around people uh that are looking for validation. And then they're like, well, first I gotta do this sold out series of concerts at Madison Square Garden. Um, and then I'm getting knighted in uh in England. And then I have to go to Spain where they're actually making me a member of the royal family.

• 41:40Conan O'Brien?

  You know, and it's just one of these funny things about human beings and trust me. Anytime I do anything, I think this is the test of whether I'm any good or not. And I recalibrate every time I set all the clickers back to zero. I think you guys could agree that all the clickers go back to zero and it's like you're giving a small toast. At a, at a Christmas party. Yes, I know. Um, but these are good friends of mine and uh this has to be the greatest toast of all time. And if it isn't, I'm nothing. So I'm telling you that yes, we're all ridiculous people. But at the same time, because I'm not you, I can say you do not need to be hunting on the internet.

• 42:24Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, and reading, oh, good. Someone wrote something nasty. I need to read every single word of it because I don't think it serves you. It doesn't serve your creativity. I don't think it's doing anything.

• 42:34Speaker 02

  No, it doesn't.

• 42:34Conan O'Brien?

  And you don't know what that person's going through, which is they really, you know, they made it. They wanted to do what you're doing possibly, or they have biases. Of course they do.

• 42:45Speaker 02

  I've experienced, I've had interactions like that before. There was this like bartender who was very rude to me and then I, I was, I was, I'm never rude. To people like, cause I, I, I always have that like mentality of like, they might be going through something. And it turns out that like, he didn't get into the school that I went to and like, it's he was very well aware that I went to that school. It all had to do very little with the fame aspect, with the school aspect. And I, then I ended up having a great conversation with him about music.

• 43:13Conan O'Brien?

  Right. Was this Berkeley?

• 43:15Speaker 02

  This is somewhere in Woodstock, Vermont.

• 43:16Conan O'Brien?

  But I mean, was the school Berkeley?

• 43:18Speaker 02

  Oh, the school was Berkeley. Yeah. Ever been to Woodstock, Vermont?

• 43:21Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, I have.

• 43:22Speaker 02

  Gorgeous.

• 43:23Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, beautiful.

• 43:24Speaker 02

  New England.

• 43:24Conan O'Brien?

  And yet, this person's living in beautiful Woodstock, Vermont, and they're bitter and angry, you know?

• 43:30Speaker 02

  Maybe not anymore.

• 43:32Conan O'Brien?

  No. I think after they, they already had a resentment towards you, then they met you and you were really nice.

• 43:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:39Conan O'Brien?

  He's twice as bitter now.

• 43:42Conan O'Brien?

  And he's nice.

• 43:43Speaker 01

  Yeah. He should have been a dick, is what you're saying.

• 43:46Conan O'Brien?

  If you'd been a dick, then this guy would be so happy right now. I'm glad I'm not him. But now he's, I mean, he's probably not alive anymore. I'm just gonna put it out there.

• 43:56Speaker 02

  God, this took a turn?

• 43:58Conan O'Brien?

  I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I think there's a good chance that person no longer walks the earth and it's your fault. But anyway, let's move on.

• 44:05Speaker 02

  God.

• 44:08Conan O'Brien?

  I, I've gotta get into music, cause I, I can't be a comedian anymore.

• 44:14Speaker 01

  You're sick.

• 44:15Conan O'Brien?

  I'm just a broken man.

• 44:16Speaker 01

  You're so sick.

• 44:18Conan O'Brien?

  But, um. It's gonna be fine.

• 44:21Speaker 02

  It's like when you watch the sitcom and you hear like, you know, the there, there, everything's gonna be okay. And then, and then you hear the audience clapping like, aww.

• 44:30Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 44:31Speaker 02

  And then you have to, and then like cousin, Uncle Jesse comes in and you have to some, some sort of like comedic breakup, like, anybody wanna go get tacos? Ah, and then the credits fucking roll. Going on tour.

• 44:45Conan O'Brien?

  Going on tour. And this is a big tour.

• 44:47Speaker 02

  Big tour.

• 44:48Conan O'Brien?

  What's the name of the, is the, is it named after your, your album?

• 44:51Speaker 02

  It is the Whatever's Clever World Tour. And I will be, uh, on stage with my band. And they're the best band in the mu, in the music industry. They make me sound so good. And it's just a joy to share the stage with them every single night. You have to come to a show.

• 45:08Conan O'Brien?

  I would love to come to a show.

• 45:08Speaker 02

  You come to the forum show.

• 45:09Conan O'Brien?

  And maybe, uh, if you want me to come out. Sing a song. I knew, I know this is coming, so I wanna save you the embarrassment.

• 45:16Speaker 02

  No, I'm serious.

• 45:17Conan O'Brien?

  And you just, you throw out a key, uh, cause I also have perfect pitch.

• 45:22Speaker 02

  I feel like you actually might.

• 45:24Conan O'Brien?

  Comedically, I have perfect pitch. I never, oh wait, I just did that thing about a guy killing himself.

• 45:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, you did.

• 45:32Speaker 02

  So what's another song that we might all know that you like, like, you know, something in the way she moves? James Taylor, Sweet Caroline, Neil Diamond. What's it?

• 45:41Conan O'Brien?

  Pitbull. Pitbull. I was mocking him with, I was doing a Pitbull thing earlier.

• 45:45Speaker 02

  I wrote a Pitbull song.

• 45:46Conan O'Brien?

  Which one?

• 45:47Speaker 02

  It didn't do very well, but I wrote one. It was called, oh god, it was part of a movie. This was back in 2014.

• 45:53Conan O'Brien?

  Was it Men in Black?

• 45:55Speaker 02

  It was Men in Black. It was, no, it was called Celebrate. And it was, I just wanna celebrate. And then he did his thing. And we've been around the world, same song. I'm Pitbull.

• 46:08Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah. I'm Pitbull and I'm here to say, I'm gonna rock the USA. Oh my god.

• 46:17Conan O'Brien?

  I was driving in to work today and I was flipping around FM radio, which I never do, just randomly. And I heard this song. And I'm like, what is that? And they were, whoever the rapper was, I find out later on, it's Pitbull, was sampling, baby, you're the one, this 1950s, late 50s or 60s hit. And I, um.

• 46:39Speaker 02

  What is, what is that song called? Because what I was gonna ask you is if you can sing a song that you like and see if it's actually in the key of what the song actually is.

• 46:47Conan O'Brien?

  Alright, I'm gonna sing, um, Runaway. And we're gonna get in trouble because we can't do these songs, but I'll have to keep it quick.

• 46:55Speaker 02

  It's gonna be a very expensive guest that I am.

• 46:56Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, if it, I forget.

• 46:57Speaker 02

  Well, don't even sing, don't even sing this, just sing the, sing the first song, sing the first note of a song that you like.

• 47:04Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, well, I'm gonna see. Um, wow, this is incredible. Uh.

• 47:08Speaker 02

  Like, uh, do you know Sweet Caroline?

• 47:10Conan O'Brien?

  Sweet Caroline. Yeah, not so, I mean, I hear the way the Boston Red Sox crowd sings it and, um, we know they've been drinking and they've got. Days, you sing a lot. I'll give you forty days. That's Ronnie Hawkins and the Hawks, forty days.

• 47:26Speaker 04

  How about a Jack White song?

• 47:28Conan O'Brien?

  Um.

• 47:28Speaker 01

  We are gonna be friends.

• 47:30Speaker 02

  Ideally, a song I know, so I can see if he's correct.

• 47:32Conan O'Brien?

  If you know, uh, we are gonna be friends, fall is here, here the, um, back to school.

• 47:36Speaker 02

  I usually know every song.

• 47:37Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, it's a very famous song, and I'm ashamed of you.

• 47:45Speaker 02

  We can, we, we can get off it if you want, but like, I just want, I feel like.

• 47:48Conan O'Brien?

  I want to hear this.

• 47:49Speaker 01

  Cupid by Sam.

• 47:50Conan O'Brien?

  Cupid, draw back your bow. What the fuck's going on? What the fuck is wrong with you? I don't know that song either. I don't know. Died so that you could live. What? I mean.

• 48:01Speaker 02

  This show is my crypto tonight.

• 48:03Speaker 04

  What about a Beatles song?

• 48:05Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, a Beatles song.

• 48:05Conan O'Brien?

  Well, of course, we all know those. Help, I need somebody, help. I think that's B minor, it starts off in.

• 48:11Speaker 02

  Yes, it is. Okay, so.

• 48:12Conan O'Brien?

  Help, I need some, is that, did I just sing in B minor?

• 48:15Speaker 02

  But you're doing it in D minor.

• 48:18Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah, well, I fixed it.

• 48:21Conan O'Brien?

  I often fix Beatles songs.

• 48:23Speaker 02

  You know, the first chord's B minor, so you definitely have some extra recollection.

• 48:28Conan O'Brien?

  I do, I remember that.

• 48:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's fascinating.

• 48:32Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 48:40Conan O'Brien?

  You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?

• 48:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, I love awards.

• 48:43Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then, in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen, you know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.

• 48:57Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 48:57Conan O'Brien?

  Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.

• 49:06Speaker 01

  I drive a Hyundai Palisade, and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.

• 49:10Conan O'Brien?

  I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5N, which I love. Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid's fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?

• 49:29Speaker 01

  Hello.

• 49:30Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid.

• 49:33Speaker 01

  It should.

• 49:34Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space. With available, I have this memorized, H-Track all-wheel drive, up to an EPA-estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty. It's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality innovation technology and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View U.S. News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details.

• 50:05Conan O'Brien?

  Did you know that 1 in 4 Americans targeted by scams end up falling for them?

• 50:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:09Conan O'Brien?

  You fell for one.

• 50:10Speaker 01

  I fell for a scam.

• 50:11Conan O'Brien?

  Now, you didn't lose too much money, but you did lose.

• 50:13Speaker 01

  I did lose, and it was very inconvenient, and now they put protections on my account like I'm, uh, dumb.

• 50:19Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I don't know where they got that impression. Criminals are now using AI to make scams look more realistic than ever. In 2025, AI fraud spiked 1,210% and cost Americans $893 million. That's incredible. Well, with AI, it can get so smart now.

• 50:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:40Conan O'Brien?

  Do you know what I mean?

• 50:41Speaker 01

  Maybe I should start scamming.

• 50:42Conan O'Brien?

  No, that's not the point.

• 50:43Speaker 01

  Oh, no, that's not the point of this.

• 50:44Conan O'Brien?

  That's not the point.

• 50:45Speaker 01

  It's so much money.

• 50:46Conan O'Brien?

  One accidental click, Sona, can expose your information, putting you at risk of identity theft. Luckily, this is the point. Not that you should start scamming, but that everyone should get LifeLock.

• 50:55Speaker 01

  Right, right, right, right, right.

• 50:56Conan O'Brien?

  LifeLock has live, U.S.-based restoration specialists who will be with you every step of the way to fix your identity theft, from first alert to full restoration. This is fantastic. How do you not have this?

• 51:08Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 51:08Conan O'Brien?

  If you have expenses or money stolen due to identity theft, you're backed by the million-dollar protection package with up to $3 million coverage in some plans. Join now and save up to 30% off your first year. Go to lifelock.com/conan. That's lifelock.com/conan to save 30%. Terms apply.

• 51:26Conan O'Brien?

  Who do you shop for first on the holidays, Sona? Was it, do you shop for the kids or do you shop for Tac?

• 51:30Speaker 01

  My kids.

• 51:31Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 51:31Speaker 01

  Or Oki.

• 51:32Conan O'Brien?

  You gotta get them your stuff.

• 51:32Speaker 01

  Or my dog.

• 51:33Conan O'Brien?

  And then your husband is last. Well, guess what? It's that time of year. You feel that, you smell that, uh, that cinnamon cider in the air? Do you smell that?

• 51:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:43Conan O'Brien?

  And you see pumpkins around, people buying turkeys. A little early to buy a turkey.

• 51:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:48Conan O'Brien?

  Doesn't matter. Holidays? I would say it's just around the corner, but that's a cliche. It's, uh, very nearby in the cupboard. Well, guess what? Amazon delivers joy with low prices on the gifts you want, even this early in the season. So get ahead of the season. Shop early gifts, top picks, holiday decor, and advent calendars at low prices. Get ahead, start on holiday gifting with Amazon's low prices. Shop now at amazon.com/holiday.

• 52:22Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, I'll admit something. You talk about this song where you make fun of your prior self or...

• 52:28Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 52:29Conan O'Brien?

  And talk about how I used to be cringe. And I, I think one of the reasons I identify with that song is that I always want on this podcast to underscore that that is the human condition. It's not the Conan O'Brien condition, it's not the Charlie Puth condition. It is the human condition that we are very self-critical. And we think the former, our former selves were illegitimate, and then we've slowly worked our way to legitimacy. Or we're not quite there yet, but we will be someday. And I think that's just a fallacy. I think we, so your song was about how I used to do this. I used to wear my hair differently. I used to try and throw out these words to, to seem cool.

• 53:11Conan O'Brien?

  And I think, yeah, this song is, is special, was, was, resonated with me just because I think I do that about musicians. I think they're real, you know? They're real because you can sit here and you can make magic with this keyboard and you can write these songs that 2 billion people will listen to. And I think, oh, that's many, many levels above what a comedian does. And I think a lot of comedians do that. I think a lot of us lower ourselves around musicians. We, cause I just, I think we, we put musicians on a pedestal. And maybe rightfully so.

• 53:45Speaker 02

  I don't think you lower yourself, you just sang the fucking National Anthem, right? Timmy, I think, but I, I, I understand.

• 53:50Conan O'Brien?

  I didn't sing it as high as I think I could sing it.

• 53:53Speaker 02

  But this is very, I didn't know that this was gonna be so introspective. This is very continuing.

• 53:57Conan O'Brien?

  Sorry, I won't, I won't.

• 53:58Speaker 02

  No, I like it.

• 53:59Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then, some real stuff breaks out here, and we try to clean it up in editing. Yeah. And add fart sounds.

• 54:05Speaker 02

  Why do you think comedians will lower themselves when they're around musicians?

• 54:09Conan O'Brien?

  Comedians are all about, they're well defended. You know, they're, it's all about.

• 54:15Speaker 02

  Keep the conversation moving.

• 54:17Conan O'Brien?

  Keep the conversation moving, slip and move, and make fun of yourself before someone else can make fun of you. There's a lot of tricks that we all employ, because really, we're just protecting ourselves. A lot of, a lot of really funny comedians grew up not being able to fight, and this is what we could do. And so, it literally is kind of a weapon, it's a survival mechanism, and these aren't new observations. This is as old as time. But I do think that a lot of comedians can grow up thinking, yeah, I do this because I literally had to, to make my mark, or survive in some way. Not literally survive, but survive these social situations.

• 54:58Conan O'Brien?

  And then, music just feels so instantly, like, oh my god, that's great. Do more of that. You know, when you come across someone who's playing the piano really well, you just think instantly, oh my god. That's, like, god is speaking through them.

• 55:13Speaker 02

  I was about to say.

• 55:14Conan O'Brien?

  And I don't think we think that way about comedy. God is not speaking through me, and if he was, god should be sued.

• 55:23Conan O'Brien?

  But you know what I mean? Oh no. And so, I'm not, this isn't false modesty. This is what I really believe, is that when someone is playing with these sounds, and manipulating them in a way, and creating these patterns, seemingly without effort. I know there's a lot of practice involved, and there's a lot of work. But when they sit down and they're just messing around, and you see the film Get Back, the recut, uh, recut version of Let It Be. When you see that, and you see Paul McCartney sitting with his bass, and he's frustrated because they need a song, and he just starts over and over again. Banging and then you see it become the song Get Back.

• 56:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:04Conan O'Brien?

  Through sheer force of will and creativity. And he does it in real time. And it's this song that again is in my head and I could make noises to simulate it.

• 56:15Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 56:15Conan O'Brien?

  Um.

• 56:16Speaker 02

  I know the scene you're talking about.

• 56:18Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, and he's just there with his, I mean, they're like, they need something and he just keeps with a bass, which I did not think of as a songwriter's instrument. I think it's guitar or it's often keyboard or piano. But he's there with a bass and he's just, and he's like, okay, yeah, yeah, I see what it is now. It's, don't sing too much, you'll have to pay. McCartney isn't cheap. And McCartney will, he'll, he's monitoring this stuff right now himself. He listens to this podcast because he knows.

• 56:48Speaker 02

  Right.

• 56:48Conan O'Brien?

  I got you, I got you. Um, see what you've done?

• 56:52Speaker 02

  Because he's the master of, none of this is like, all, all of this is not even about me. It's not, for, if, if a musician, the reason, uh, well, not the reason. This is how I'll say it. The musicians that make it all about themselves are the first to fall, in my opinion. Because like, it's not, this, I didn't invent this chord. This is like some god particle thing. And then we apply our human experience and the chords, the, like, that sounds ugly. But like, when you put, like, it starts to resolve, like, that, that does something. That can, that can make anybody, if there were a hundred people in here and I

• 57:28Speaker 02

  played like a fire alarm, everybody would like, you know, wince and cover their ears. But you can, they're not going to do that if I do.

• 57:35Speaker 02

  And be like, they're not going to, there's a difference. Like, you can do that, that's a very primitive example, but like, you can do that through intervals and chords. And then it's our goal as humans and job as humans to, to, to, to put our experience in what was made for us already.

• 57:53Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 57:53Speaker 02

  The stage was set.

• 57:54Conan O'Brien?

  You know, it's interesting, the parallel that I always find is because there are certain rules that exist, obviously, in Greek tragedy. I mean, the, the Greeks invented so much. Great salad, by the way.

• 58:08Speaker 01

  Oh, jeez.

• 58:10Conan O'Brien?

  But, um.

• 58:12Conan O'Brien?

  I just looked at Sona because she's per Greek.

• 58:15Speaker 01

  Like I invented the salad?

• 58:17Conan O'Brien?

  No, your people did and I'm proud of you.

• 58:19Speaker 01

  You're welcome.

• 58:20Speaker 02

  My gut feels amazing every time I eat what you've made.

• 58:23Speaker 01

  Welcome, welcome.

• 58:25Conan O'Brien?

  But you know, there's dramatic structure. There's dramatic structure and if you look, you know, plays, novels, any story has a dramatic structure, sitcoms have a structure, you know, and then you look at, a lot of it is creating tension and then resolving tension.

• 58:44Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 58:45Conan O'Brien?

  And that's what so much of music is, is, you know, you, and then you're on the E, you're on the, you know, and then you get back to the A and you're just like, there's this feeling of, yeah.

• 58:55Speaker 02

  Happy, happy, sad.

• 58:58Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 58:59Speaker 02

  Happy. Tension resolve.

• 59:02Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. And it's just, I think it's the soundtrack for most root stabilizer commercials is, you know, someone's, I don't feel good, I don't feel good, but then you tried Milliastra, you know, and then, hmm. Yeah, yeah.

• 59:17Speaker 02

  Same chords and it's usually a ukulele or something.

• 59:20Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah, and then.

• 59:21Speaker 02

  And then all the side effects.

• 59:22Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah. All side effects include massive diarrhea, more diarrhea, your diarrhea will have diarrhea.

• 59:32Conan O'Brien?

  People near you will have diarrhea. That's called sympathetic diarrhea.

• 59:36Speaker 02

  They change the key.

• 59:36Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, they change the key a bit. Also diarrhea in a higher key.

• 59:43Conan O'Brien?

  But you know, that, I remembered, there's a, I'm trying to think, there's a Led Zeppelin.

• 59:48Speaker 02

  Tiree in a higher key is what the tour should be called.

• 59:50Conan O'Brien?

  I'm going on tour. Or just open with that song.

• 59:54Conan O'Brien?

  I think it's Kashmir, you know, dun dun dun, dun dun dun. Yeah, we really got to be careful because Jimmy Page, Jimmy Page is on the same, he's watching on the same Zoom with Sir Paul.

• 1:00:07Conan O'Brien?

  Uh oh, there he goes.

• 1:00:10Conan O'Brien?

  That's a song that stays forever and then it's, I mean, these are very simple elemental changes, you know, and I don't know, I, I, I don't know that song that well. It's not in my head, but you know, it's like it's in, it's almost like it's in E for a long time and then it goes to E7 and so you can sort of see like the ice is starting to break and it's, it's agonizingly long and then suddenly it goes to like A. And every time that happens, every time I hear it in any context, I think, I've just seen the face of God. And it's the simplest move in the world, but that is, I think what a lot of people in comedy do as well, which is you create this tension of what this person is saying is completely outrageous and then laughter is the resolution.

• 1:00:54Conan O'Brien?

  People laugh and it's like, oh, good. We're out of that long sustained E7 and now we're into an A. And it's like, ah.

• 1:01:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:03Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, this person just saved the day. And what it is, is creating this unbearable tension and then breaking it.

• 1:01:08Speaker 02

  You know, it's so.

• 1:01:08Conan O'Brien?

  I've just ruined everything by trying to explain.

• 1:01:11Speaker 02

  No, it's so. I, I knew walking in here that I was, they were, you know, your staff is wonderful. They were like, it's gonna, it's gonna be fun. It's like, yeah, I know it's gonna be fun, but what you're not telling me is that it's gonna be thought provoking. I always have really interesting, awesome conversations with Dave Chappelle, yourself, Will Ferrell. It's never, I feel like the common misconception when you have a sit down with a comedian or an actor is that they're going to be a hundred percent that person that you're thinking of.

• 1:01:41Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 1:01:42Speaker 02

  It's, there's, there's so much more to that. Every time I, Will's a really good friend of mine. I'm sure you know him as well.

• 1:01:47Conan O'Brien?

  He's an enemy.

• 1:01:47Speaker 02

  Okay, he's an enemy.

• 1:01:48Conan O'Brien?

  And so Chappelle, you just named my two arch enemies.

• 1:01:53Speaker 02

  I just have.

• 1:01:53Conan O'Brien?

  I hate those guys. And they have no talent. None. None. None. Sad what happened to them. Anyway, continue.

• 1:02:03Speaker 02

  My media training is.

• 1:02:08Conan O'Brien?

  Whatever you do, don't mention Will Ferrell or Dave Chappelle to Conan O'Brien, cuz he hates them.

• 1:02:14Conan O'Brien?

  No, they are two, they are two spectacular geniuses, in my opinion.

• 1:02:19Speaker 02

  I'm not like slapping my knee laughing, like, talking to them, I'm like, kind of, like, really intrigued what they have to say, cuz there's a lot of parallels drawn.

• 1:02:26Conan O'Brien?

  Well, it's, it's the same thing that happens to me if I'm talking to, you know, the times that I've had a chance to have a conversation with, say, a Paul McCartney. I don't, I don't walk away thinking, what the hell was that? He, he made no music while we spoke. You know? And, and it's the same thing, because, uh, the first time I met Steve Martin, years and years and years ago, when I was a writer on Saturday Night Live, I went into the meet, the, the meeting to pitch him ideas, thinking he's gonna have an arrow through his head, like, 1978, 1979. Yeah, he's gonna, you know, there's part of you that thinks that's who you're gonna be talking to, and, yeah, exactly. That, it would be that era, that's the era that I first, that's how I first experienced Steve Martin, and then you walk in and it's this

• 1:03:10Conan O'Brien?

  very, very serious, serious as a heart attack guy, who's trying to figure out what he's gonna do that week, talking in a very soft spoken voice, and he can access that, but he's not gonna do that right now.

• 1:03:22Speaker 02

  So.

• 1:03:23Conan O'Brien?

  So that's fascinating to me, yeah.

• 1:03:25Speaker 02

  Yeah. So. I, I am me all the time. I, I, I guess I, I, if you see me at Chipotle, I'm not gonna be how you see me on the internet, but so I, I guess that's, it's the same thing. It's, I, I have, you know, days where I'm super quiet and I don't wanna be, like, music, music, music.

• 1:03:44Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and there are days where it's the last thing you probably, like, I don't wanna do that today.

• 1:03:48Speaker 02

  Oh, and I just wanna watch, uh, Doug, have you ever seen Doug Demiro on Cars, uh, CarsAndBids.com? I love.

• 1:03:55Conan O'Brien?

  I don't think I know that. No, I don't know that.

• 1:03:57Speaker 02

  It's just this super niche community of car lovers of the modern era. Like, if I can tell you all you need to know about the Saturn V.

• 1:04:04Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:04:05Speaker 02

  I just, I love, I.

• 1:04:07Conan O'Brien?

  So, cars of the modern era?

• 1:04:08Speaker 02

  Cars of the modern era. Every, anything below 70s, like, I don't know what a fucking 79 Corvette is supposed to look like, right? But I can tell you everything about the, uh, the, the, the Scion XB.

• 1:04:22Conan O'Brien?

  The Leaf? Do you know anything about the Leaf?

• 1:04:24Speaker 02

  Nissan Leaf.

• 1:04:26Speaker 02

  Like, I, I love. Even phones, I like that.

• 1:04:30Conan O'Brien?

  I love that. A guy just going on and on about, okay, I got this Nissan Leaf. And you know, it runs at 40 watts. I bumped it up to 41. This sucker will do, out of the gate, it'll do 35 miles per hour at top speed.

• 1:04:46Speaker 02

  I do know the statistics if you're, it's a four, straight four cylinder, but it's.

• 1:04:51Conan O'Brien?

  Wait, you got four under that hood?

• 1:04:54Speaker 02

  In that leaf?

• 1:04:56Conan O'Brien?

  What do you got in that leaf? You got a four?

• 1:04:59Speaker 02

  Like, do you know what I sit about, I think about when my wife's trying to watch her heated rivalries and whatever.

• 1:05:04Conan O'Brien?

  Oh my god.

• 1:05:05Speaker 02

  I, I, I lay, I lay down and think, why did the Yukon Denali in 2002? I'm serious. Why did GMC have this beautiful insignia on this chrome door handle on the Yukon Denali in 2002? And then in the 2003 model year, they got rid of it.

• 1:05:23Conan O'Brien?

  This is crazy. You're gonna say I'm making this up? I have my notes here for the conversation. Denali, right here. Why did they lose it on the door? Right here. So to believe me?

• 1:05:36Conan O'Brien?

  So to believe, did you believe me?

• 1:05:38Speaker 01

  I, I did.

• 1:05:38Conan O'Brien?

  That's insane!

• 1:05:39Speaker 01

  I know, I'm very gullible.

• 1:05:41Conan O'Brien?

  Why would I go into an interview with Charlie Puth to talk about the Denali?

• 1:05:44Speaker 01

  You were so sincere.

• 1:05:45Speaker 02

  I just brought it up.

• 1:05:46Speaker 01

  I didn't know. I thought maybe he mentioned it. I don't know.

• 1:05:49Conan O'Brien?

  You're a fool.

• 1:05:50Speaker 01

  I am, I'm real dumb.

• 1:05:51Speaker 02

  I thought he was serious, too.

• 1:05:53Speaker 01

  Thank you, Charlie. Thank you.

• 1:05:55Conan O'Brien?

  We have a way of committing.

• 1:05:56Speaker 01

  Yes!

• 1:05:56Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. I'm gonna say something, because we ran out of time a while ago, and I've been keeping it going because I.

• 1:06:04Speaker 02

  Just having too much fun.

• 1:06:05Conan O'Brien?

  I was having so much fun. I'm shocked you haven't been here before. And our booker, Paula Davis, um, I went to her a while ago and I said, let's get Charlie Puth on. I love him. I watch his TikToks. And she said, no, not gonna do it, not gonna do it. And I kept pushing her and she's like, no, no, no. She was like, no, we're not gonna do it, we're not gonna do it. And I said, why? Why can't we have Charlie on the show? And she said, because you can't handle the Puth.

• 1:06:27Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:06:28Speaker 01

  I gotta go. I gotta go. I can't do this anymore. I gotta go.

• 1:06:32Speaker 02

  Oh, God.

• 1:06:33Speaker 01

  I gotta go.

• 1:06:34Conan O'Brien?

  What do you think? Is it the end of the podcast?

• 1:06:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's done. It was good working with you. That was awful.

• 1:06:39Speaker 02

  Jesus Christ.

• 1:06:40Speaker 01

  You can't handle the pooth.

• 1:06:42Conan O'Brien?

  You can't handle the pooth. Listen.

• 1:06:43Speaker 01

  I am so mad.

• 1:06:45Speaker 02

  I thought it was just because I was just recently taken seriously, like a year ago. I feel like people are finally, like, actually taking me.

• 1:06:52Conan O'Brien?

  No, it's because it lines up so perfectly with you can't handle the truth.

• 1:06:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:57Conan O'Brien?

  And what I took was, hold on, let me explain. Let me explain. Let me explain. And then your last name's Puth. And so I took this iconic, what's this? You can't give me thumbs down on this.

• 1:07:07Speaker 01

  You're explaining it. That's the problem. Is that now we're going into, it's bad enough. Yeah, it's bad enough.

• 1:07:13Conan O'Brien?

  You can't handle the pooth.

• 1:07:14Speaker 01

  No, it's bad enough you did it.

• 1:07:16Conan O'Brien?

  That's a great, great bit.

• 1:07:18Speaker 02

  Did it end? I don't understand.

• 1:07:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think we're done.

• 1:07:21Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, no. It didn't. This is, this is how I wish we had started.

• 1:07:27Conan O'Brien?

  And I wish this had happened in the middle and then at the end, as the resolution.

• 1:07:30Speaker 02

  I see.

• 1:07:34Conan O'Brien?

  Charlie, that cup has been empty for a while. You're just looking for a way out.

• 1:07:38Speaker 02

  It's just lukewarm Arowan bone broth.

• 1:07:44Conan O'Brien?

  No, what are you talking about? You are a phenomenally talented young fellow. And I'm, I just knew, because I also, I see your sense of humor too, when I watch your videos. I'm like, okay, this guy does what I wish I could do, and he's funny, and you're a massive success, so I was really happy.

• 1:08:03Speaker 02

  That is such a trip to me because you are such a massive success, and like, having grown up watching you, and it's like now, it's just so full circle.

• 1:08:11Conan O'Brien?

  None of that stuff, I don't know. I don't think of myself that, like, this is me being as honest as I think I can be, which is... Um, I have been incredibly lucky and I love getting to do this thing, whatever it is. I won't put a name to it, but what I love about these conversations is trying to get to something that I don't think I'm ever gonna crack, which is there's this thing we're all trying to figure out. And now you're gonna go off, and I know exactly what you're talking about. You're gonna go off and, and play these amazing shows for sold out massive venues and, but you're still trying to see.

• 1:08:47Speaker 02

  Portland's not sold out.

• 1:08:50Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 1:08:51Conan O'Brien?

  You know, Portland is always tricky. Yeah, but they're, you know.

• 1:08:55Speaker 01

  They're drinking kombucha.

• 1:08:58Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:08:59Speaker 02

  I don't know if they wanna hear we don't talk anymore. Some do.

• 1:09:01Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Well, listen, first of all, you've now, we're not gonna get Portland sold out by alienating Portland. So I'm just gonna say, I can't imagine a better place for you to play than Portland. I bet it's gonna sound amazing.

• 1:09:13Speaker 02

  I mean, great donuts, great people.

• 1:09:17Conan O'Brien?

  They can't handle the booth. Maybe that's it. Maybe they can't handle the booth.

• 1:09:21Speaker 01

  We don't have to go back to that. Well.

• 1:09:22Conan O'Brien?

  We just went back to a quip that was cancerous.

• 1:09:27Speaker 01

  Yes, it was.

• 1:09:27Conan O'Brien?

  I mean, it's toxic.

• 1:09:28Speaker 01

  It was. It was. You should apologize.

• 1:09:31Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know.

• 1:09:32Speaker 02

  Is there any other musician you look up to, other than me, of course?

• 1:09:37Conan O'Brien?

  I look up to anyone that can make a living doing it. I think that's absolutely stunning. And that sounds, but I'm just amazed when, when, I mean, and my goal getting into this was if I can pay my rent, thinking of funny little things or being weird, wouldn't that be the most amazing thing in the world? That was my idea in 1985, and it's still my idea. You know, it's like, still like, that is, it's not gonna get better than that. Um, scale of things can change, but the actual mission doesn't change. So I'm just, I'm blown away when, I mean, I like to sit and talk to people. If I walk into a hotel lobby and someone's playing the piano there, I'm just, I think, that must just be amazing to be able to sit

• 1:10:21Conan O'Brien?

  and play the piano and you've got a, um, you know, uh, you've got a standing gig and people come and they listen to you and you get some free drinks. That's the part I would want.

• 1:10:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:33Speaker 02

  But you can, and I used to, that used to be one of my. Odd jobs is I would go, well, not odd, I would play the piano at, at bars. You can change the room with, you know, when you start playing, uh, piano man.

• 1:10:50Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:50Speaker 02

  I won't play anymore of it, but yeah.

• 1:10:52Conan O'Brien?

  God, these, these laws are destroying, they're destroying podcasts. They are. Well, Billy Joel needs that 35 bucks? No.

• 1:11:04Speaker 02

  But you would hear, you would hear like, uh, you'd hear Rodney Dangerfield sit down with Johnny Carson and he would just like, you could, the, the, the audience would change. Just based on the, the diction and like his delivery.

• 1:11:15Conan O'Brien?

  And the expectation. So like Buddy Hackett or Rodney Dangerfield or any of these amazing comedians would sit down with Johnny Carson when I was a kid. And my father and I and anyone else in the room would just be like, oh, this is gonna be good. And that's what happens when you start to hear some of these iconic songs. When anyone's playing their hit, you, there's the, oh my God, everyone knows what's coming and they're all so delighted and excited for it.

• 1:11:41Speaker 02

  Right. Except if you completely change the arrangement and make it, uh, not what it's supposed to sound like.

• 1:11:49Conan O'Brien?

  Right. The bossa nova version of piano man.

• 1:11:52Speaker 02

  Artistic selfishness, but even Billy Joel, as he says, he's, and I've opened up for him a, a couple of times. One show got rained out, but he's, I asked him, do you?

• 1:12:01Conan O'Brien?

  Let me guess, Portland.

• 1:12:05Speaker 02

  No, Pittsburgh.

• 1:12:07Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, damn it.

• 1:12:08Speaker 02

  He even said, he like, I, I asked him, do you get tired of playing piano man? And he was like, I do, but the crowd's reaction is worth everything.

• 1:12:16Conan O'Brien?

  Wow.

• 1:12:16Speaker 02

  That's, you don't quote me exactly, but that's what I remember him saying to me in 2016.

• 1:12:21Conan O'Brien?

  Now get out there and open this show. I'm not paying you to talk to me.

• 1:12:24Speaker 02

  Well, the show got, the show got rained out and the show got rained out and I was all bummed out. He came in. They were like, Mr. Joel wants to, uh, Billy wants to come in and, you know, offer his apologies. And he came in and he shrugged his shoulders. He was like, what do you want me to do? And we took a picture.

• 1:12:43Conan O'Brien?

  I love a guy that thinks he needs to apologize for the weather. I'm gonna start doing that. Sorry, guys. Eclipse, what can I do?

• 1:12:51Speaker 02

  He didn't have to do that.

• 1:12:52Conan O'Brien?

  No, he's nice. He's very nice. Listen, an absolute delight. Congratulations, you are a new dad, which is the best thing you'll ever do.

• 1:13:02Speaker 02

  Shout out to Jude Puth.

• 1:13:04Conan O'Brien?

  Jude, what a cool name.

• 1:13:05Speaker 02

  Hey Jude, that's what we played during his birth.

• 1:13:10Conan O'Brien?

  That's during the birth?

• 1:13:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:13:12Conan O'Brien?

  That's a long enough song.

• 1:13:13Speaker 02

  The anesthesiologist, all the doctors were, na, na, na, na, na, na, na.

• 1:13:18Conan O'Brien?

  That's so cool.

• 1:13:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, now every time I sing it to him, he goes, hmm?

• 1:13:22Speaker 02

  That and sing by The Carpenters. He loves when the kids come in on the second verse.

• 1:13:28Conan O'Brien?

  That's so cool. My daughter's name is Sandman. Cause we were listening to Metallica. And, um, that was fucked up. But you know what? It turns out I can't-

• 1:13:38Speaker 02

  Sandman O'Brien.

• 1:13:42Conan O'Brien?

  Just be careful, this is a public service, be careful what you're listening to when a child is born, cause it can go any different way, you know?

• 1:13:52Conan O'Brien?

  Delight having you here, Charlie, really, and best of luck on this tour, you're gonna kill it.

• 1:13:58Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 1:13:59Conan O'Brien?

  No more diving through the internet, not necessary, you don't need it, you're way past that, long time ago.

• 1:14:04Speaker 02

  I agree.

• 1:14:04Conan O'Brien?

  All right?

• 1:14:05Speaker 02

  My first interview with my permanent retainer, I just got it like right before this.

• 1:14:08Conan O'Brien?

  You just got a permanent retainer? Is it behind your teeth?

• 1:14:10Speaker 02

  It's behind my teeth, no, it's right behind these four front teeth here.

• 1:14:14Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 1:14:15Speaker 02

  I don't know why.

• 1:14:16Conan O'Brien?

  Why would you tell me that at all?

• 1:14:19Speaker 02

  Because it's a personal victory for me, I was kind of like nervous that I was gonna talk weird, but I-

• 1:14:24Conan O'Brien?

  No, it was perfect.

• 1:14:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:14:26Conan O'Brien?

  And now I have, this is my first interview with an empty colon. Just, there's nothing, completely clean down there. Completely empty colon. Is that something that we should be sharing? I mean, completely, completely. Haven't eaten in six days.

• 1:14:40Speaker 01

  Okay, we got it.

• 1:14:41Conan O'Brien?

  Just and then right before the podcast, ashabadoo? My god. Okay, um, I'm an awful person.

• 1:14:48Speaker 01

  You're awful.

• 1:14:48Conan O'Brien?

  Charlie, I apologize to you, to your team. Thank you so much for being here, this was so cool, really.

• 1:14:54Speaker 02

  Thank you for having me, thank you, everybody.

• 1:14:59Speaker 05

  Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sona Movsesian and Matt Gorley. Produced by me, Matt Gorley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

• 1:15:19Speaker 05

  Our supervising producer is Erin Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm.com/conan. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

• 1:16:09Conan O'Brien?

  Technology can generate salary recommendations in seconds, but building an offer that lands skilled talent, that takes more than just an estimate you came up with.

• 1:16:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're right.

• 1:16:18Conan O'Brien?

  That's where Robert Half's new 2027 Salary Guide can help.

• 1:16:22Speaker 01

  That's good.

• 1:16:23Conan O'Brien?

  Did we use a salary guide with you, Sona?

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  No, but maybe-

• 1:16:26Conan O'Brien?

  For several years, I just gave you groceries, remember?

• 1:16:28Speaker 01

  I know, I remember that. That was not good.

• 1:16:31Conan O'Brien?

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• 1:16:52Conan O'Brien?

  When you hear Alka-Seltzer, you'll probably think heartburn, right? Yep. Well, did you know Alka-Seltzer has a line of cold and flu medications known as Alka-Seltzer Cold? Ooh. Did you know that, David? No, but I feel like we need it. Why didn't you know that, David? I know, you expect me to know everything. I knew this. Did you? Yeah, I've tried it, it's really good. And I like that fizzy, fizzy, fizzy when you drop the Alka-Seltzer Cold into the water. You do, yeah. Alka-Seltzer Cold: Fast Dissolves Tablets are designed to deliver cold and flu relief fast. Just drop the two tablets in water and hear those bubbles bursting into action. Ready to work faster than pills. Bubbles faster than pills. Pills take time to dissolve, not bubbles. Next time a cold or flu strikes, quick! Alka-Seltzer Cold: Nothing works faster for cold and flu symptom relief.

• 1:17:37Conan O'Brien?

  Among oral products used as directed.