Pod Insights Tooth & Claw: True Stories of Animal Attacks Mothers, Heroes - The Tooth & Claw Mothers Day Special: 2026 Edition About this episode Wes shares a handful of stories of different kinds of mothers being different kinds of heroes. What can we say, we love moms around here!
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Transcript 17,071 words · 7 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
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0:43 Jeff Larson? Hello everyone and welcome to Tooth and Claw Podcast. We have a special guest today, but first I'll introduce ourselves. We have someone who says that he doesn't wash his hands after he pees, but then he remembered that he actually does. And that is Wes Larson, our wildlife biologist.
1:03 Mike Smith? That's so good to know.
1:04 Jeff Larson? And I'm his brother Jeff Larson. Well, I said you remember you do wash your hands.
1:10 Wes Larson? Right. I do.
1:11 Jeff Larson? Yeah, you forgot.
1:12 Wes Larson? But you made it seem like that was like.
1:14 Jeff Larson? Well, that's what you said on the podcast.
1:16 Wes Larson? I said that I don't think it's as important as people make it out to be, but I still wash my hands after I pee like 99% of the time.
1:24 Jeff Larson? I'm his brother Jeff Larson, and we have Mike Smith with us.
1:30 Mike Smith? Yes, sir.
1:30 Jeff Larson? And then we have Cindy Larson, the mother of Wes and Jeff.
1:35 Speaker 04 Hi, everybody.
1:37 Jeff Larson? Did you teach us to wash our hands after going to the bathroom?
1:40 Speaker 04 Yes. And you know what else?
1:42 Jeff Larson? Yeah.
1:42 Speaker 04 I actually wash my hands after I touch animals, which could be a problem for you guys.
1:47 Wes Larson? I generally do too. You would tell us that if we didn't, we'd get worms.
1:53 Speaker 04 You'll get worms.
1:53 Wes Larson? And I was always worried about worms growing up.
1:57 Mike Smith? Is that true?
1:58 Wes Larson? I would look at my poop to see if there's worms in it.
2:01 Jeff Larson? Yeah.
2:02 Wes Larson? Because I thought that I would have worms.
2:04 Speaker 04 We're not doing poop this time.
2:05 Wes Larson? I just told you that that's what I would do though.
2:06 Speaker 04 Okay.
2:07 Jeff Larson? We're not doing poop this time.
2:09 Wes Larson? We're not doing poop this time.
2:10 Mike Smith? Not on the Mother's Day. Scratch out all my notes.
2:13 Wes Larson? Hey, this is, so it's our Mother's Day episode.
2:15 Jeff Larson? Yeah.
2:16 Wes Larson? Which we look forward to all year. We learned that a lot of our listeners look forward to it all year. So a lot of you that are on Patreon have talked to our mom quite a bit.
2:27 Mike Smith? Whether you know it or not.
2:30 Wes Larson? Yeah, she helps us out on there, but she helps us just through life too.
2:35 Jeff Larson? Yeah, she does.
2:36 Speaker 04 I try to.
2:37 Jeff Larson? What did you told me? Hey, you should put some cushions on your bar stool chairs. They're scratching your floor. I said, no. And then the next day I realized you were right.
2:49 Speaker 04 Yeah, I tried to do it in a question form. That's my new thing.
2:52 Jeff Larson? Yeah.
2:52 Speaker 04 Like, don't, oh, do you want some pads for the, for your chairs? So that doesn't scratch? And then you said, no.
3:01 Jeff Larson? I said, you're old.
3:02 Speaker 04 And then I, I said, I'm going to Lowe's. I'll go get you some pads. And you said, no.
3:08 Jeff Larson? Wow. And then I got some on Amazon because you were right.
3:11 Speaker 04 Yeah.
3:11 Jeff Larson? Yeah.
3:12 Speaker 04 Jeff actually sent me a text that I was right. It was nice.
3:15 Wes Larson? That is nice. Yeah. I've never gotten one of those texts.
3:19 Speaker 04 Yeah, I've only gotten one from Jeff.
3:21 Wes Larson? Yeah. Well, that was the only time you were ever right.
3:24 Speaker 04 Uh, no, I don't think so.
3:27 Wes Larson? Uh, well, we really liked this episode, as I mentioned, and we've done it pretty much since we started the podcast. Uh, it's been really fun and we've had a lot of different concepts that we've done. And sometimes, you know, we do like stories of moms that save their kids or whatever else. And this year I wanted to do something special and just combine all of our concepts that we've done in the past, but have kind of a central theme. And that central theme is sacrifice. Because moms tend to sacrifice quite a bit for their young, both human moms and animal moms. Is that true, mom?
4:06 Speaker 04 Yeah, it is.
4:07 Wes Larson? Yeah.
4:08 Speaker 04 Yeah.
4:08 Mike Smith? Do you know what's crazy is moms will sacrifice those nine months being pregnant?
4:12 Wes Larson? Yeah.
4:12 Mike Smith? And then they might have a kid that just sucks. And it's like, I went through all that for this thing.
4:16 Speaker 04 For a dud.
4:17 Mike Smith? This little dud. Yeah.
4:18 Speaker 04 Yeah.
4:19 Mike Smith? It's defect.
4:22 Wes Larson? Send it back.
4:23 Mike Smith? I guess what I'm saying is thanks, moms. Shout out moms.
4:25 Wes Larson? Yeah, shout out moms. So we're gonna do a few stories that involve hero moms. We're gonna do a few stories of incredible animal mothers that sacrifice a lot. And then we're also gonna do a listener's story, because those are all things we've done in the past.
4:40 Jeff Larson? Holy heck.
4:41 Wes Larson? Yeah. Oh, buckle up. It's gonna be fun.
4:44 Jeff Larson? It's a fun one.
4:45 Speaker 04 Yes.
4:45 Jeff Larson? Last time you cursed a lot.
4:47 Speaker 04 No, I, I know.
4:48 Jeff Larson? Yes, you did.
4:50 Wes Larson? Are you going to again?
4:52 Speaker 04 No, and none of us are.
4:54 Jeff Larson? I didn't give you a proper introduction. This is Cindy, mother Larson.
5:01 Speaker 04 Thanks, Jeff.
5:03 Jeff Larson? Don't worry.
5:04 Speaker 04 Son.
5:05 Jeff Larson? You're welcome.
5:06 Speaker 04 And just to
5:07 Jeff Larson? Bill, you know what to do.
5:08 Mike Smith? There'll be a big old beef there. Sorry, Cindy.
5:11 Speaker 04 It's okay. We, we really like Michael to like, we kind of wish he was our son.
5:17 Wes Larson? Uh, speaking of that, we actually got a listener question from Sunny Laughs. And they said, Cindy, what's your bleeping favorite swear word, word? What's your favorite swear word if you had to pick a favorite?
5:29 Speaker 04 Oh.
5:31 Wes Larson? Which one do you say in your head the most?
5:33 Speaker 04 Well, it's, it's hell.
5:35 Wes Larson? Okay.
5:37 Speaker 04 Yeah, I actually, my, the, the night my dad died, my brother said he had his like six brain tumor. And I just kind of went, what the?
5:47 Wes Larson? Yeah.
5:48 Speaker 04 And I don't ever do that.
5:49 Jeff Larson? Wow, bleep that, Bill.
5:50 Speaker 04 Yeah. Yeah, you guys made me swear on the podcast.
5:55 Wes Larson? Yeah.
5:55 Jeff Larson? Wow.
5:56 Wes Larson? We bleeped you.
5:56 Jeff Larson? We'll bleep it, don't worry.
5:57 Wes Larson? Yeah, don't worry.
5:58 Jeff Larson? We, last time you said
6:00 Speaker 04 No, I didn't.
6:01 Jeff Larson? You said the C, the F.
6:03 Speaker 04 No, I did not. I did not. I, and neither, just so everyone knows, the kids that are listening to this, my boys did not swear, swear until they were, left the house.
6:14 Jeff Larson? Yeah, and I used to wash my hands after the bathroom, too.
6:17 Wes Larson? Yep.
6:17 Speaker 04 Yeah.
6:19 Wes Larson? All right. Well, it is gonna be fun, Mom.
6:22 Speaker 04 I'm already having fun.
6:23 Wes Larson? We're gonna start. We're gonna start with one of our hero moms. And Mom, I have a question for you. What large animal probably kills the most human beings each year? Large animal. You get three guesses. And if you don't get it right, we're just gonna end the episode right now.
6:38 Speaker 04 So like larger than a dog?
6:40 Mike Smith? Please get them wrong.
6:42 Wes Larson? Yeah, sure. Larger than a dog. Larger than a snake is really what I was going for. But yeah, it is.
6:47 Speaker 04 Cause I was, I think dogs kill the most out of animals.
6:52 Speaker 04 They kill the most humans.
6:53 Wes Larson? This one might kill more even.
6:55 Speaker 04 Um, I don't know.
6:58 Wes Larson? I'll give you a hint.
6:58 Speaker 04 Okay.
6:59 Wes Larson? Uh, they are reptile.
7:03 Speaker 04 Really?
7:03 Wes Larson? Yes. Think of large reptiles.
7:06 Speaker 04 Crocodiles, alligators, crocodiles.
7:09 Wes Larson? Exactly.
7:09 Speaker 04 Okay.
7:10 Wes Larson? Crocodiles are probably responsible for the most human deaths year to year. And there's a few reasons for that. First of all, we're not too big for most of these crocodiles. So Nile crocodiles, American crocodiles, saltwater crocodiles, Orinoco crocodiles and mugger crocodiles are all species that are large enough to attack human sized prey.
7:31 Jeff Larson? Except for Mike's girlfriend.
7:33 Wes Larson? Yeah.
7:34 Mike Smith? Yes, I have no idea.
7:35 Wes Larson? She's too big.
7:39 Wes Larson? So that is one reason that we kind of fit into their, their prey categories that were like not too big for them. Second, they're ambush predators that sometime have to wait a long time for a feeding opportunity. So when one comes up, they'll take it. Lots of other animals can be a little bit more selective, but when crocodiles have a good opportunity, they tend to take it. Third, they often live in water that's also used by humans for drinking, recreating, fishing, other uses. So that shared use of water puts us at more, you know, danger from crocodiles. So today we're talking about a crocodile. We haven't really brought up much on the podcast. It's one that the three of us have seen in the wild, and that is the mugger crocodile.
8:24 Jeff Larson? I've never seen one.
8:25 Wes Larson? You sure have, pal. You saw it eating a deer in India.
8:29 Jeff Larson? Oh, those ones.
8:31 Wes Larson? Those are mugger crocodiles.
8:32 Jeff Larson? Those haven't killed a human.
8:34 Wes Larson? They sure have. Yeah. This is a crocodile species that you'll find in India, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, Pakistan, and then a tiny silver or sliver of Iran, which was interesting to me. I had no idea that Iran had crocodiles.
8:49 Speaker 04 So the US is safe.
8:51 Mike Smith? Not in Iran.
8:52 Wes Larson? We have, we have American crocodiles, but we don't have this crocodile.
8:55 Jeff Larson? Until we invaded them.
8:56 Mike Smith? Yeah, until we went to war and now we're.
8:58 Wes Larson? They'll send their crocodiles over.
8:59 Mike Smith? Mortal peril.
9:00 Speaker 04 Okay, okay.
9:02 Jeff Larson? Uh, is that what you meant?
9:03 Speaker 04 Yeah. Whatever.
9:06 Wes Larson? On average, male mugger crocodiles are going to be about three meters long, which is about 10 feet, but they can grow up to five meters or 16 feet. And females are about typically three fourths the size of males. So it's pretty similar size to like an American alligator. Jeff, are American alligators large enough to kill a person?
9:26 Jeff Larson? Yes.
9:27 Wes Larson? They are. So so are these mugger crocodiles.
9:30 Jeff Larson? Okay.
9:31 Wes Larson? Like pretty much all the larger crocodile species, when they hunt large mammalian prey, they're going to ambush them, they're going to lie in wait in shallow water and then hope that something comes a little bit too close to the water's edge, or maybe even wades in the water, or sometimes they'll even run up on shore to chase prey that's too close to the water's edge.
9:51 Jeff Larson? So manatee are big enough to kill a person?
9:55 Wes Larson? They're big enough, but they're not predators. Yeah. But if like you dropped the one out of a plane and it landed on someone, it'd probably kill them.
10:03 Mike Smith? What does lie in wait mean?
10:05 Wes Larson? What?
10:06 Mike Smith? I would have thought they would crocodile wait.
10:07 Wes Larson? Lie in wait, not lie in wait. You gotta laugh out my mom for that one.
10:14 Mike Smith? I'll take it. All right. That's pretty good.
10:17 Wes Larson? So on the shore of some water is exactly where five year old Viru was on an August day in 2025 in Dhakya village, Uttar Pradesh, India. And this little boy was simply doing the same thing he had probably done hundreds of times. He's playing on this dusty bank of a river, a drainage ditch, not far from the watchful eyes of his mother. Mom, we grew up around rivers, around water. We loved it, right? We would go to the water all the time.
10:45 Speaker 04 Yeah.
10:45 Wes Larson? That was like one of our favorite things.
10:46 Speaker 04 We still love it.
10:47 Wes Larson? Yeah.
10:48 Jeff Larson? You think if the water had crocodiles in it, you would have let us?
10:52 Speaker 04 No.
10:53 Wes Larson? But people that grow up around crocodiles do, you know?
10:56 Speaker 04 Yeah.
10:56 Wes Larson? And I think.
10:57 Speaker 04 Let you go down by yourself?
10:59 Jeff Larson? No, with you watching.
11:00 Wes Larson? Yeah.
11:01 Speaker 04 Oh, with me watching? Maybe.
11:03 Wes Larson? Like in India, or not India, India has everything, but in other parts of the world, they think it's crazy that we go into the forest with bears.
11:09 Speaker 04 Okay.
11:10 Wes Larson? But it's just that you kind of, it's the devil, you know, but they're not devils.
11:13 Mike Smith? So that one Chris Farley skit, living in a van down by the river, indie, people in India would be like, that's not funny. That's horrifying.
11:19 Wes Larson? Especially, yeah. Or in like, yeah, parts of Africa with Nile crocodiles. Anyway.
11:24 Mike Smith? Yeah, you never know.
11:26 Speaker 04 Bear spray doesn't work on them, right?
11:27 Wes Larson? I doubt it. I really doubt it. Yeah.
11:29 Speaker 04 That'd be a problem.
11:30 Wes Larson? So as this little boy is playing, a large mugger crocodile completely obscured in the murky water, slowly positioned itself on the water's edge, and then rose to break the surface with the top part of its head, barely making a ripple. Then his Viru took a couple steps toward the water without even realizing what he's doing. The crocodile explodes from the water, runs a short distance to this boy, grabs him in its jaws, and starts dragging him back toward the water.
12:00 Wes Larson? Viru starts screaming and the screams cut through the air, over the noise of the village to his mother, and his mother Maya whips her head in the direction of where her son had just been. And instead of seeing him playing next to the water, she saw him being dragged down by a massive reptile.
12:15 Jeff Larson? Wow. Mom, what would you do?
12:18 Speaker 04 I would jump on the crocodile.
12:20 Jeff Larson? Okay.
12:21 Wes Larson? Well, without even thinking, Maya reached down, she grabbed some iron rebar and sprinted toward the crocodile, closing the distance before it could drag Viru deeper into the water and disappear. She runs into the water, she grabs her son while he's still on the surface of the water, and he's still in the mouth of the crocodile. So she's holding on to like part of his body and the crocodile has the other part, and they're doing this tug of war, and she starts hitting the crocodile with her hands, she's poking its eyes, she's hitting its nose. Nothing's working, and then she remembered that she grabbed this rebar, and she starts just slamming the rebar into the crocodile's head.
13:00 Jeff Larson? Oh.
13:01 Wes Larson? Yeah, and it was finally enough to make it release its grip and swim away.
13:04 Jeff Larson? Dang.
13:05 Wes Larson? And for what we know from our crocodile stories, like dig dig, you remember dig dig?
13:09 Jeff Larson? Yep.
13:10 Wes Larson? Uh, it's not easy to make them let go of something. Like sometimes you're dealing, we're talking about like men, like big men in their prime that are punching as hard as they can. It doesn't even flinch. They say it's like hitting a brick wall. And this mom, and I know sometimes moms draw in this like crazy strength when they're trying to save their kid. Was easy to, you know, it wasn't easy, but she was able to get the crocodile.
13:35 Jeff Larson? That's not.
13:38 Wes Larson? Day in the life.
13:40 Jeff Larson? I thought she was gonna like keep the mouth open with the rebar.
13:44 Wes Larson? Oh, like sticking out.
13:46 Mike Smith? Like the rancor. I thought she was gonna pole vault onto the back of the crocodile.
13:52 Wes Larson? Uh, well, Jeff already asked my question, but you would do that if, if.
13:57 Speaker 04 Yeah, I, I probably would have frozen first at that age when I was younger. Cause I was pretty young as a mom. But now I feel like I've, I've imagined myself in enough situations that I would act.
14:14 Wes Larson? Yeah.
14:15 Jeff Larson? I bet you like, you heard the dig dig story, right?
14:19 Speaker 04 Yes.
14:19 Jeff Larson? Where he used his dog to hit the crocodile?
14:22 Speaker 04 Yeah.
14:23 Jeff Larson? I bet you like two year old Jeff, if your legs were in a crocodile's mouth, you would hit me.
14:29 Speaker 04 No.
14:29 Jeff Larson? You would hit the crocodile with me.
14:31 Speaker 04 Not you, but I'd definitely sacrifice my dog.
14:37 Wes Larson? Oh, man.
14:37 Speaker 04 My whole thing was though, what if I had Wes's dog? You didn't have a dog then. If I had Wes, if I was watching Wes's dog or my sister's dog.
14:46 Jeff Larson? Yeah.
14:46 Speaker 04 Then I don't think I could because they would never forgive me.
14:50 Wes Larson? I would forgive you, Jesse, probably would never forgive you. Anyway.
14:54 Jeff Larson? You could sacrifice one of Shank's legs.
14:57 Speaker 04 Thanks.
14:58 Wes Larson? Which, so he's just got two?
15:00 Jeff Larson? Yeah, he just scoots around.
15:02 Mike Smith? That story makes me wanna always have rebar on me.
15:04 Wes Larson? Yeah.
15:05 Speaker 04 Yeah.
15:05 Wes Larson? Just always, yep.
15:06 Mike Smith? Yeah, at least two, maybe even for redundancy. You might lose one.
15:10 Speaker 04 Yeah, instead of carrying bear spray around crocodile country, you just carry rebar.
15:16 Jeff Larson? TSA would let you just take like a two foot bar rebar.
15:20 Mike Smith? If it's like short enough, yeah.
15:21 Wes Larson? Probably.
15:22 Mike Smith? Not blunt.
15:23 Wes Larson? They probably would. Yeah. I feel like I take a tripod and that's essentially the same thing. Uh, all right. Well, she drags Viru from the water and she got him to medical help as quickly as possible. He did have serious injuries from the crocodile, but everything I found said that it seemed like they both made it through. Um, I couldn't find any like final updates, but everything said that he was stable at the time of the report. So I think he was okay.
15:51 Mike Smith? What if you're like a blacksmith and you've melted down some metal into like their, the liquid and tried to go through TSA? Would you have to wait till it solidifies or would they just be like?
16:01 Wes Larson? Liquid metal?
16:02 Mike Smith? Yeah.
16:02 Wes Larson? Is it less than 3.5 ounces?
16:04 Mike Smith? Right.
16:05 Wes Larson? I mean,
16:06 Mike Smith? If it's more though.
16:07 Wes Larson? Then probably not.
16:08 Mike Smith? You have to wait a little bit for it to solidify.
16:10 Wes Larson? What if you froze your water? If they were like, hey, you can't have that. Well, I'll just freeze it.
16:16 Jeff Larson? Oh, wow.
16:16 Wes Larson? Yeah.
16:18 Mike Smith? All right.
16:18 Jeff Larson? Freeze our bomb.
16:19 Wes Larson? Uh,
16:20 Jeff Larson? so we can bring it up.
16:22 Wes Larson? This liquid nitrogen is fine. Yeah.
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16:59 Speaker 06 Somebody asked me how I define myself and I didn't know what to say because how can someone be defined? When we're always evolving. I've been so many things. I'll be so many others.
17:15 Speaker 06 Because identity is not a performance, it's an exploration. Never the same, but always myself. That's the paradox. Paradox Intense and the new Sweet Chemistry by Prada.
17:28 Wes Larson? All right. So that was a mom that was ready to sacrifice her own life to save her kid. And had she hesitated even a few seconds, there's a very good chance this would have ended differently.
17:39 Mike Smith? 10 out of 10, mom.
17:40 Wes Larson? 10 out of 10.
17:40 Speaker 04 Yeah.
17:41 Mike Smith? You did a great job.
17:42 Wes Larson? Yeah.
17:42 Speaker 04 Yeah, that would have been a hard one.
17:44 Wes Larson? Oh, yeah. That's an animal that I would feel I have a very low chance of deterring. And she deterred it.
17:52 Speaker 04 That's such a nightmare situation.
17:54 Wes Larson? Oh, yeah.
17:54 Speaker 04 Yeah.
17:55 Wes Larson? It's also one that it's like, there is a breaking point in that interaction. As soon as it gets under the water with the boy, it's probably over, you know? And she managed to stop it before it got to that point. So, good job, Maya. Hope you guys are doing great. All right, we're gonna switch gears for a second. We're gonna talk about a sacrifice that an animal mother makes for her young.
18:19 Speaker 04 Hmm.
18:20 Wes Larson? Mike, when we were in Borneo, what bird made the biggest impression on you?
18:25 Mike Smith? Oh, the spoonbill or whatever it's called.
18:27 Wes Larson? Hornbill?
18:28 Mike Smith? Whatever.
18:28 Wes Larson? Rhinoceros. Rhinoceros hornbill.
18:30 Mike Smith? That's the one.
18:31 Wes Larson? All right.
18:31 Mike Smith? They were cool. They looked like they had bananas taped to the top of their heads.
18:35 Wes Larson? They are large, beautifully colored hornbills. They have black and white plumage and then what Mike is referencing, a really big, beautiful cask and bill that are orange and yellow. Have you seen these birds, mom?
18:48 Speaker 04 No.
18:49 Wes Larson? I'm gonna show you a photo just so you have.
18:51 Mike Smith? They're awesome.
18:51 Wes Larson? A reference.
18:52 Mike Smith? Yeah, that was the first time I'd ever, we, that was our first trip and I instantly kind of fell in love, at least in lust, with birding.
19:02 Wes Larson? Yeah. They're a bird that when you see like fly, you're like, wow, that looks like a dinosaur. It looks like a pterodactyl or something. Just really cool looking bird.
19:12 Speaker 04 Yeah.
19:12 Mike Smith? Maybe like a sweet potato.
19:14 Speaker 04 It does look like a dinosaur.
19:15 Wes Larson? Yeah.
19:15 Speaker 04 It's like a Jurassic Park kind of bird.
19:17 Wes Larson? It does.
19:18 Mike Smith? Yeah.
19:19 Wes Larson? Sure. Well, they should have.
19:21 Jeff Larson? Dinosaurs were birds.
19:23 Speaker 04 Yeah.
19:23 Jeff Larson? Correct.
19:24 Wes Larson? But pterodactyls weren't. That's the crazy. Teraodon. They were flying reptiles. They weren't even dinosaurs. Uh, anyway, if you want to see what this bird looks like, Google it, but mom, I got a question for you. What was pregnancy like with us kids? Specifically, how did you and dad work together to make sure you were as comfortable as possible? And as healthy as possible while you were pregnant?
19:48 Speaker 04 Okay. So your dad, I probably still owe him like a hundred anythings because of that.
19:55 Wes Larson? Okay, dollars?
19:57 Speaker 04 No, anything. Um, because I was so sick. And I couldn't like, and it was mental too. Like if I walked past the kitchen, I would have to go throw up. And so he would make the food. And it had to be very specific, like for lunch, it was usually a cup of soup. It had to be in a mug and then crackers, but only two. And a two orange slices. So he had to do it exact. If I had meat, he had to cut the meat into little pieces and not bring very many, just a few.
20:37 Wes Larson? Would you throw it at him if he got it wrong?
20:39 Speaker 04 No, I'd just throw up.
20:40 Wes Larson? Okay.
20:41 Speaker 04 So.
20:41 Wes Larson? So kind of.
20:42 Speaker 04 Yeah. So it was, he was pretty amazing.
20:45 Wes Larson? Yeah. Um, sweet.
20:46 Speaker 04 Pregnancy was not my friend.
20:48 Jeff Larson? So it's probably harder for him than you.
20:51 Speaker 04 It might've. No, no.
20:55 Speaker 04 I was so sick by the time I had you guys that I just, it took me a year to ever even get back to normal.
21:03 Wes Larson? Well, now you owe him a hundred and anything. All right. Uh, that was actually a great, that was a perfect answer because it's not too different from what these rhinoceros hornbills do.
21:14 Speaker 04 Really?
21:14 Wes Larson? They have a really amazing and extreme way to ensure that both the female and the eggs and then her chicks are safe during a really vulnerable period. So first, what they do is they find a hollowed out cavity in a tree, or they'll even use those big, strong beaks to carve out a smaller cavity into the bright size. The female enters the nest and the male brings wet clay to the cavity. And then they both apply that clay on both sides of the entrance. And they keep doing that until there's just a very narrow slit of an entrance. So what they're doing is they're trying to make it so narrow that no predators can get through it, not even snakes.
21:56 Wes Larson? So they just make this tiny, narrow slit and it's really incredible that they know how to do that. And then the female lays eggs in there and she stays in there for months. So this is her home while she hatches and raises the young. She's completely sealed inside a dark hole with only a tiny opening.
22:14 Wes Larson? And through that opening, the male feeds her pieces of food. She's entirely dependent on the male for her food, kind of like you were with dad. And her chick's food. And the only way she can poop, and I think this is probably a little bit different from your experience, was she had to angle her cloaca at that tiny opening and then projectile poop out of that opening.
22:35 Speaker 04 Yeah, that's a little different.
22:37 Jeff Larson? We're not doing poop this time.
22:41 Wes Larson? And that is so the cavity didn't just get like filled up with hornbill poop while she's in there. So she incubates the eggs, she raises the chick, all while completely sealed inside this little cavity. She can't stand or turn around.
22:55 Jeff Larson? Much like mom too. She would throw up in her baby's mouth.
22:59 Wes Larson? She would.
23:03 Speaker 04 How long is this?
23:04 Wes Larson? She can stand and turn around actually, but she can't fully spread her wings. It's a few months. I don't know exactly how long, but I think it's at least two months.
23:14 Wes Larson? Meanwhile, the dad's responsible for getting enough food for himself, his, the female and the chicks, once they hatch. So he's pretty much constantly searching for food. He stores food in his crop, which is a pouch inside their neck. And then he regurgitates it one piece at a time for the female to eat through this tiny opening. Finally, when the chicks are old enough to fledge and start flying, they break the seal on the nest cavity and they all leave.
23:42 Wes Larson? It's pretty cool.
23:43 Speaker 04 Yeah.
23:43 Wes Larson? You know?
23:44 Speaker 04 So are the dads pretty dependable?
23:46 Wes Larson? They are. Yeah, I think there might be some deadbeat.
23:51 Speaker 04 That'd be a bummer.
23:51 Wes Larson? Yeah.
23:52 Mike Smith? How's the species doing? Are they?
23:54 Wes Larson? I think they're doing okay.
23:56 Mike Smith? Okay.
23:56 Wes Larson? Um, well.
23:57 Mike Smith? Enough good dads out there.
23:58 Wes Larson? That's a good question. Let's look it up. I know that we saw a fair amount.
24:02 Jeff Larson? Yeah, they were worried about them because they're cutting down all their best trees.
24:07 Wes Larson? Yeah, I do. You know, when I say.
24:09 Speaker 04 But it's not the dad's fault.
24:11 Jeff Larson? Might be. That the men are destroying the world.
24:15 Speaker 04 No, I mean the dad bird.
24:17 Wes Larson? They're vulnerable. They're IUCN vulnerable.
24:19 Mike Smith? Okay.
24:19 Wes Larson? And I would imagine that they're pretty vulnerable because all of their forests where they live are, you know, being destroyed pretty quickly. So pretty cool bird and a pretty amazing mom to sacrifice that much for her kids.
24:33 Speaker 04 Yeah.
24:33 Wes Larson? I think that's, it's hard to imagine being cramped in a tiny space like that for that long.
24:39 Speaker 04 It's really amazing how nature just makes moms have these instincts, these cravings for young or whatever.
24:48 Wes Larson? I agree.
24:48 Jeff Larson? Mr. Beast should do that, like.
24:51 Wes Larson? Make someone do it.
24:52 Jeff Larson? You get like a thousand dollars every day you live in a tree with clay about that round it.
24:58 Wes Larson? And you have to put your bum up to the entry. We're not doing poop. Nevermind.
25:03 Mike Smith? Don't do that. Mr. Beast could do the Cindy video where he's like, I'll give you a hundred anythings.
25:09 Wes Larson? Yeah.
25:11 Mike Smith? Stay inside this white circle for a month or whatever he does. Except for he's shouting. He's always shouting.
25:17 Speaker 04 Really Gilroy went through three pregnancies.
25:19 Wes Larson? That's a lot, Gil.
25:20 Speaker 04 Yeah.
25:21 Jeff Larson? How many did you go through?
25:22 Speaker 04 Three.
25:23 Jeff Larson? Hmm.
25:23 Speaker 04 Yeah.
25:24 Wes Larson? Yeah, I think we need to pat dad on the back for that. But he did. He was, yeah, he, he did his duty, but we're talking about moms here, not dads.
25:33 Speaker 04 Okay.
25:34 Wes Larson? Um, you know who Mr. Beast is now? Cause you watch Survivor.
25:38 Speaker 04 Yeah, I actually watched one of his shows.
25:40 Wes Larson? Oh, Beast Games.
25:42 Speaker 04 Mm hmm.
25:42 Wes Larson? What'd you think?
25:43 Speaker 04 Um, it was okay.
25:45 Wes Larson? A little gross.
25:46 Speaker 04 I just thought the people that could have had a million dollars and then didn't take it.
25:52 Wes Larson? They should.
25:52 Speaker 04 Just should have taken it.
25:53 Wes Larson? That's what I thought too.
25:54 Speaker 04 Yeah.
25:54 Wes Larson? There's no situation in like a game show like that where you put me in front of a button and I don't press it if it's up to a million dollars.
26:03 Speaker 04 Yeah.
26:04 Wes Larson? So I guess there's situations that I in a game show like that is what I've tried to say. All right. Well, they do this to protect their young from predators. And speaking of protecting kids from predators.
26:19 Jeff Larson? Wow.
26:20 Wes Larson? That's exactly what not that kind of predator. It's exactly what Lydia Angio had to do in February of twenty two thousand six, sorry, of two thousand six. So Lydia was forty one in two thousand six, and she had lived with her family in the tiny coastal village of Yvuzhivik, Quebec, which sits on the far northeastern side of Hudson Bay. So who wants to guess what animal we're probably talking about?
26:50 Speaker 04 A bear?
26:51 Wes Larson? What kind of bear?
26:53 Mike Smith? The polar variety?
26:54 Wes Larson? Polar bear, exactly.
26:58 Wes Larson? So this is a village that only has about four hundred people. It's a tiny village with a really tight knit community.
27:04 Jeff Larson? Pretty big village for being in polar bear country, though.
27:08 Wes Larson? Yeah, it's okay sized. Yeah. And almost everyone that lives in this village are indigenous Inuit people. On a cold Wednesday evening in February two thousand six, Lydia is walking with two of her sons and some of their friends, while some of the other kids are playing hockey outside a nearby youth center. She's walking a bit ahead of her boys, and the sun that really only appears for a handful of hours this time of year has already set, and it's kind of that last glow of light in the winter that you get, you know, when the snow is kind of glowing still, but the light's mostly out of the sky. As she's walking, she's hearing the crunch of her footfalls in the snow. That's totally filling her ears, and that's
27:50 Wes Larson? really all she can hear. And then suddenly, something cuts through that, and that's the frantic shouts of all these kids that are playing hockey. So she turns to look at them, and she sees they're pointing at something behind her. And she follows the direction of where they're pointing, and what she sees in the last light of this evening really makes her stomach drop. It's a large polar bear, and it's quickly walking toward her boys, and it's getting really close to her seven year old.
28:19 Jeff Larson? That's not good.
28:20 Speaker 04 No, that's terrible.
28:22 Wes Larson? Yeah. So she acts on instinct, just like Maya did. She tells the boys to run, which isn't great advice, but in this case, it ended up working out. She yells as loud as she can, and she runs toward the bear with the goal of getting in between it and her seven year old.
28:39 Jeff Larson? Wow.
28:40 Wes Larson? All that was flashing in her mind was my boy, my boy is gonna get killed. But then she felt a huge sense of relief when she saw that her yelling had distracted the bear enough to give her son a little bit of a lead.
28:53 Speaker 04 So what was her son doing then?
28:55 Wes Larson? He was running.
28:56 Speaker 04 Okay.
28:57 Wes Larson? Yeah. That relief probably faded into this pool of adrenaline that's like totally running through her too. And she accomplishes her goal. She gets in between the bear and her son. She's five foot ninety pounds. So she's not a big woman. And this bear is a seven hundred pound polar bear. So more than seven times her size.
29:20 Jeff Larson? But what's her reach?
29:21 Wes Larson? What's her reach? I don't know. That does matter.
29:24 Jeff Larson? It does.
29:24 Wes Larson? Yeah. She doesn't hesitate though, and she starts punching and kicking this bear. And similarly, the bear doesn't hesitate either. It quickly shoots a pile. It slaps Lydia, sending her flying backward. She lands on her back on the hard frozen ground, and in an instant, the bear's on top of her. And so she starts like bicycle kicking the bear from below, like kicking its stomach and punching and doing whatever she can to try and get it off of her. And then it swats her again, and she rolls over to onto her stomach. And she's kind of just waiting for this bear to bite her and kill her.
30:01 Speaker 04 Yeah.
30:01 Wes Larson? She knows that, you know, she can't fight back against a polar bear. She's probably a few seconds away from making the ultimate sacrifice for her kids when shots rang out in the air. And it's her neighbor Sekuluk Einalik and he had heard the commotion from the kids. He'd run outside with his brother's rifle and he sees this huge bear on the top of his neighbor, who miraculously is putting up a fight. And he fires a few shots into the air, which gets the attention of the bear and kind of causes it to separate from her a bit. And then he feels comfortable shooting at the bear, shoots it four times and drops it. Wow.
30:38 Speaker 04 Right on top of her.
30:39 Wes Larson? Not on top of her. I was wondering about that, too. Uh, yeah, so neighbors helped her to house of the local constable and she's really frantic and in shock, but she really only had a couple scratches and a black eye.
30:52 Speaker 04 Wow.
30:53 Wes Larson? So really tough.
30:54 Speaker 04 Yeah.
30:55 Wes Larson? Yeah. The following year, she's awarded the Canadian Medal of Bravery.
30:59 Jeff Larson? Thanks. Well, you know what we learned from a river runs through it too?
31:03 Wes Larson? What?
31:03 Jeff Larson? Is if you're gonna fight something, you want to swing first.
31:07 Wes Larson? Get that first punch.
31:08 Jeff Larson? Get it first, especially if you think you might lose because then at least you got a punch in.
31:13 Wes Larson? That's true.
31:13 Jeff Larson? So she did good there.
31:14 Wes Larson? Yeah. Mom would always tell us that, too.
31:17 Jeff Larson? Yeah.
31:17 Wes Larson? Growing up.
31:18 Jeff Larson? You remember telling her that?
31:19 Speaker 04 Yeah.
31:20 Wes Larson? To get the first punch in.
31:21 Speaker 04 Yeah.
31:25 Wes Larson? Uh, pretty cool.
31:26 Speaker 04 I'm glad she got like the.
31:28 Wes Larson? Medal.
31:28 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah.
31:29 Wes Larson? Yeah.
31:29 Speaker 04 Because I feel like that first one that we did, the first Mother's Day Cynthia, I think, um, didn't she get like honorable mention or something? She didn't get the, she, she got like second.
31:41 Wes Larson? The mountain lion one?
31:42 Speaker 04 Yeah.
31:42 Wes Larson? Uh, Cindy Perilin or? Yeah.
31:45 Speaker 04 Yeah.
31:45 Wes Larson? She should have gotten every award.
31:47 Jeff Larson? We can give her an award.
31:49 Wes Larson? Yeah.
31:49 Jeff Larson? Tooth and claw award for bravery.
31:51 Wes Larson? She just didn't campaign very well.
31:53 Jeff Larson? FIFA.
31:53 Wes Larson? Well, she was dead, so it probably would have been. We, we need to do like the Oscars, but for animal.
31:58 Jeff Larson? I bet you FIFA would give her the award if she asked.
32:02 Wes Larson? The which one?
32:03 Jeff Larson? Just the bravery award.
32:05 Wes Larson? If we give them enough money, FIFA will do anything.
32:08 Jeff Larson? Seems like they give awards for anyone who asks for one.
32:11 Wes Larson? That's true.
32:14 Wes Larson? All right, mom.
32:15 Speaker 04 Yes.
32:15 Wes Larson? Got a question for you.
32:16 Mike Smith? What did he get? What was his award?
32:17 Jeff Larson? It's like the. Nobel Peace Prize of FIFA.
32:21 Wes Larson? Well deserved.
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32:56 Speaker 06 Somebody asked me how I'd define myself, and I didn't know what to say. Because how can someone be defined when we're always evolving? I've been so many things. I'll be so many others.
33:12 Speaker 06 Because identity's not a performance, it's an exploration. Never the same, but always myself. That's the paradox. Paradox intense, and the new sweet chemistry by Prada.
33:25 Wes Larson? All right, let's say we're adrift at sea, kind of like we just talked about in our whale episode.
33:31 Speaker 04 I'm not jumping in to save you from a shark.
33:34 Wes Larson? Okay.
33:34 Speaker 04 I'm sorry.
33:35 Wes Larson? Wasn't gonna say that, but that's good to know. Let's say we're adrift at sea and one of us dies. Are you gonna eat us?
33:44 Jeff Larson? Like we're starving?
33:45 Speaker 04 I'm not.
33:46 Wes Larson? You're starving to death, and I die and you won't eat my body? It was part of your body at one point.
33:51 Speaker 04 Yeah, I don't, I really don't think so.
33:53 Wes Larson? What about me? I'm not blood, you know?
33:56 Speaker 04 He's muscly, too.
33:58 Jeff Larson? And me and Wes are already eating you.
34:00 Speaker 04 I can't imagine being in that situation where I would. Where I would.
34:05 Jeff Larson? Yeah.
34:06 Speaker 04 Like, I just feel like I'd just rather give up.
34:09 Jeff Larson? Hmm. So we eat you?
34:11 Speaker 04 Uh huh.
34:11 Jeff Larson? Okay.
34:12 Wes Larson? Well, that's what I was gonna say. Would you want us to eat you to survive if you died first?
34:17 Speaker 04 I would want you to make your own decision.
34:20 Wes Larson? Well, I would eat you.
34:21 Speaker 04 Okay. Yeah.
34:23 Wes Larson? Well, there's an animal out there that not only wants their babies to eat their bodies, it's something it's evolved to become part of their natural history and typical behavior. This is called matrifagi.
34:36 Speaker 04 I just read about that.
34:37 Wes Larson? Oh, interesting.
34:38 Speaker 04 Yeah.
34:39 Wes Larson? Uh, it's essentially the willing consumption of a mother by her offspring. And there's a spider that lives in the US that's well-known for matrifagi, and it's called the black lace weaver. So after mating, which don't even get me started on their mating.
34:55 Speaker 04 Okay. I won't.
34:57 Wes Larson? Uh, these medium sized spiders will lay an egg sac. And the female stays with it and guards that sac until about forty to a hundred and forty spiderlings hatch and emerge.
35:08 Jeff Larson? They get a hundred of whatever they want.
35:10 Wes Larson? Yeah. All right. Now, that's a lot of mouths to feed. So within a few days of her precious little spiderlings hatching. She, what she does is she goes into this weird little trance. And she starts doing a dance and does like a rhythmic drumming with her legs. And this is essentially a call to her spiderlings. That they can approach her. And when they do, they also kind of go completely still. And she lays a clutch of yellow trophic eggs. So she squirts out a bunch of eggs too. And these are essentially just unfertilized eggs, kind of like a chicken egg. And they serve as the main food source for these spiderlings, their first main food source.
35:53 Wes Larson? Cause it, right now there's tiny, tiny little spiderlings. But these eggs don't last very long. They eat them up and then they need a more substantial meal. So after they eat all those eggs, her babies go through their first molt and they grow quite a bit. And at this point, they're really hungry and they're ready to eat their mom.
36:13 Wes Larson? So what happens is she starts communicating with them again through web vibrations, through drumming and jumping. And the offspring are able to detect where they can eat their mother. So they move toward her and a couple of them will actually jump on her back and try and eat her. But then she jumps and drums more frequently to get them off of her. And they'll relentlessly try and jump on her back. And then when she finally feels like she's ready, she presses her body onto her offspring and allows them to consume her. By biting her and sucking out her insides.
36:48 Wes Larson? And as they eat her, they also release venom into her body, which causes a quick death.
36:54 Jeff Larson? Wow.
36:54 Wes Larson? It's kept for a few weeks as a nutritional reserve. They like save her body for a while.
37:01 Wes Larson? Kind of reminds me of like Norman Bates, but if he was really hungry, you know?
37:05 Jeff Larson? Yeah.
37:05 Wes Larson? He kept his mom around for a bit.
37:07 Jeff Larson? Sure.
37:09 Wes Larson? But pretty cool. They're originally from Europe, but they've become
37:12 Jeff Larson? Very cool.
37:12 Wes Larson? widespread in the US. I think it's interesting. It's crazy.
37:16 Speaker 04 From a mother's perspective, it says she willingly does that. I'm not sure. I, I mean, maybe that's what the scientists say. But maybe she doesn't really, maybe it's just, she's just made to do that.
37:31 Jeff Larson? Like she has nowhere to go.
37:32 Wes Larson? Like she's just following her instinct.
37:34 Speaker 04 It's just like instinctual.
37:35 Wes Larson? Nothing else to do.
37:36 Speaker 04 Not like she really wants to die.
37:39 Wes Larson? Yeah.
37:39 Speaker 04 I'm so surprised her babies stay around her too.
37:42 Jeff Larson? Tiny babies. She could
37:43 Speaker 04 Only because of the food.
37:44 Jeff Larson? Get away from them if she wanted.
37:46 Wes Larson? Well, she protects them to begin with too.
37:49 Jeff Larson? You know, she could run out faster than them.
37:52 Wes Larson? Yeah, that's the thing. I think that's why they say it's willing, because it wouldn't be hard for her to get away if she wanted to. And
37:59 Speaker 04 But we don't know. She might still die.
38:01 Wes Larson? But the other thing we see
38:02 Jeff Larson? Maybe God makes her do it.
38:04 Wes Larson? That's good. Could be God that does it.
38:07 Speaker 04 Probably designed her, Jeff.
38:09 Jeff Larson? And to do that. So is it willing or is it? Yeah.
38:14 Speaker 04 Divine intervention. I don't know. All this mother instinct that doesn't get us anywhere.
38:20 Wes Larson? You think God made a spider?
38:24 Wes Larson? Gets those spiders somewhere.
38:26 Jeff Larson? Yeah.
38:26 Wes Larson? I'd wanna be one, a really fast little spiderling, so I don't get left with like an undesirable part of my mom to eat.
38:33 Speaker 04 The prime rib.
38:34 Wes Larson? You know what I'm talking about.
38:35 Jeff Larson? You're gonna get bounced off though.
38:37 Mike Smith? Where do you think I'm going?
38:39 Jeff Larson? Well, she bounces off the first ones.
38:41 Mike Smith? Yeah, well, I'm gonna be like in the 80th percentile of quick, quick spiderlings.
38:46 Wes Larson? Yeah, that's what I always shot.
38:47 Jeff Larson? I believe you. I mean, you were the fastest sperm once upon a time.
38:52 Mike Smith? That's true. Well, maybe, I don't know. Did the other faster sperm get bounced off that egg?
38:57 Jeff Larson? Oh.
38:58 Mike Smith? I don't know how that works. Scientists, answer that one.
39:00 Wes Larson? You're just the sneakiest one. They don't, yeah. They can't. Apparently, they don't have answers, according to my mom. Uh, I think, I think like probably the evidence they're using to decide that it's willing is the lack of struggle. Or like her, she doesn't need any of them, you know?
39:17 Speaker 04 Maybe when she still had energy, that's when she was like flipping them off.
39:21 Wes Larson? Yeah.
39:21 Speaker 04 And then she finally just is like, oh, well, fine.
39:25 Mike Smith? Okay, I wish spiders could flip people off. That'd be kind of fun.
39:28 Wes Larson? They could do it eight times.
39:29 Mike Smith? So I recently read the first Meg book, Wes, and it seemed like more or less the science was intact. They were talking about the ampule of Lorenzini, et cetera, et cetera.
39:38 Wes Larson? Yeah.
39:39 Mike Smith? But then it talked about how the Meg ate one of her, like the runt offspring. So does this ever happen in reverse, or is that something the book fabricated?
39:47 Wes Larson? No, it does.
39:48 Mike Smith? It does.
39:49 Speaker 04 So are we talking sharks here?
39:51 Wes Larson? Megalodon specifically.
39:52 Speaker 04 Megalodons? Okay.
39:53 Wes Larson? There, there's definitely females that consume their young. Um, like polar bears will do it if they have babies that they don't think are gonna make it through the winter. If she knows inherently that she's not gonna make it through the winter. And there's plenty of other animals that will do it, but it's usually a response to some sort of external factor. You know, it's not like that's part of their natural history. It's like they know for whatever reason that young's not gonna be viable, or that they need the energy to survive. Does that make sense?
40:24 Mike Smith? Yeah.
40:25 Wes Larson? But like this spider, this is part of their evolution. Like they, this is what they do.
40:31 Mike Smith? That's good to know, because that was the only thing holding me back from recommending the Meg to everyone. Just wanted to make sure it was all scientifically sound.
40:39 Speaker 04 So you like the book?
40:41 Mike Smith? No.
40:41 Speaker 04 Okay.
40:42 Mike Smith? It was fine.
40:43 Wes Larson? Are you gonna read the rest?
40:44 Mike Smith? Uh, there's seven more. I'm thinking about it.
40:48 Wes Larson? Oh, man, that'll make me so mad if you do.
40:51 Speaker 04 Did you read it?
40:52 Wes Larson? No, but it'd just make me mad because I'm always recommending stuff for Mike.
40:56 Speaker 04 Yeah.
40:57 Wes Larson? And then he'll read like seven Meg books.
41:02 Speaker 04 Well, he still hasn't read Tarzan and neither of you.
41:05 Mike Smith? That's true.
41:06 Wes Larson? That's true.
41:06 Mike Smith? Sorry Cindy.
41:07 Wes Larson? I'll read Tarzan. Which one, the first one?
41:10 Speaker 04 Yeah.
41:11 Wes Larson? Is that Arthur Conan Doyle?
41:13 Speaker 04 No.
41:13 Mike Smith? No, that's Sherlock. What's his name? It is like a three name.
41:16 Wes Larson? Yeah.
41:17 Mike Smith? Kind of guy. Same guy that did John Carter.
41:19 Wes Larson? Okay.
41:20 Mike Smith? What the heck?
41:20 Speaker 04 Jeff, I think you'd like it too. It's good.
41:23 Wes Larson? I gotta look it up now.
41:24 Jeff Larson? Yeah, I'll watch it.
41:26 Speaker 04 I used to know when I was reading.
41:28 Mike Smith? Georgia the Jungle's.
41:29 Wes Larson? Yeah, I've seen the movie.
41:30 Mike Smith? My favorite Tarzan.
41:31 Speaker 04 Yeah, movies are good.
41:32 Mike Smith? Oh Edgar Rice Burroughs.
41:33 Wes Larson? Edgar Rice Burroughs.
41:34 Jeff Larson? I always thought of it the same, but I don't think it is.
41:36 Mike Smith? I don't think it is.
41:37 Wes Larson? Georgia the Jungle?
41:38 Jeff Larson? Yeah.
41:38 Wes Larson? No.
41:39 Speaker 04 A couple of the toothies read it.
41:41 Wes Larson? They read Tarzan because you recommended it.
41:43 Speaker 04 Mm hmm.
41:43 Jeff Larson? Wow.
41:44 Speaker 04 Yeah.
41:44 Jeff Larson? Did they like it?
41:46 Speaker 04 They loved it Jeff.
41:47 Jeff Larson? Wow.
41:47 Speaker 04 It was like their favorite book.
41:49 Wes Larson? They'd be better kids than us, huh?
41:50 Speaker 04 Mm hmm. You never know.
41:52 Mike Smith? Write them into the woods.
41:52 Jeff Larson? Tarzan, Tarzan was raised by gorillas, right?
41:56 Speaker 04 Yeah.
41:57 Jeff Larson? And so was King. Or Georgia the Jungle?
42:01 Speaker 04 But his dad.
42:02 Jeff Larson? King Georgia the Jungle?
42:02 Speaker 04 But his dad was killed by the gorilla too.
42:05 Jeff Larson? Oh.
42:06 Mike Smith? I thought it was a leopard.
42:06 Jeff Larson? Yeah, it was a leopard.
42:07 Speaker 04 Nope.
42:08 Wes Larson? Hmm.
42:09 Mike Smith? Not, maybe the book's different.
42:11 Wes Larson? Yeah, we gotta read it.
42:12 Speaker 04 I think, I might be wrong.
42:15 Wes Larson? I feel like.
42:16 Speaker 04 My memory's not all that good.
42:17 Wes Larson? Adaptations I've seen it was a leopard, but.
42:20 Speaker 04 I don't know, the leopard, I think the leopard might have.
42:23 Jeff Larson? In the cartoon, it's a leopard.
42:24 Speaker 04 Made his mom die, but the.
42:26 Wes Larson? Okay.
42:27 Mike Smith? Trying to think in the Johnny Weismuller, the old show.
42:30 Wes Larson? The cartoon was a leopard and then that one with um, Scars God, I think was a leopard too, right? I can't remember. That was a crazy movie.
42:40 Wes Larson? Alright, it's a pretty big sacrifice these spiders make for their kids.
42:44 Jeff Larson? Um, the ultimate.
42:46 Wes Larson? Ultimate sacrifice. And our final story of the episode comes from a listener, our new friend, friend of ours, Jamie, who's on our Antarctic trip.
42:55 Jeff Larson? Yeah.
42:56 Wes Larson? Uh, and this is.
42:57 Jeff Larson? Shout out.
42:57 Mike Smith? We like her.
42:58 Wes Larson? Jamie, yeah. This was a story of a mom.
43:01 Jeff Larson? She is a claw, not a toothy.
43:04 Wes Larson? Oh yeah, she was part of the claw, huh?
43:05 Jeff Larson? Yeah.
43:06 Wes Larson? Which is like the left edge of the toothies.
43:08 Jeff Larson? Yeah.
43:08 Wes Larson? I'm in the claw too. Uh, this is a story of a mom who sacrificed herself to prove us right.
43:17 Wes Larson? And when I say us, I mean Tooth and Claw.
43:19 Speaker 04 Okay.
43:19 Wes Larson? So here's the story in Jamie's words. Ironically enough, my mom was attacked by a rabid raccoon the day after listening to Tooth and Claw's 2023 Mother's Day episode. When you shared a story about a mom, Logan McNamara, defending her kid from a raccoon attack that happened in the middle of the day. My mom and I listened to the episode together and we had a very lively conversation about what to do if that happened. We agreed with Cindy that the mom did awesome and we'd try to lock it in the garage or something if we could too. And I can confirm Cindy, it isn't easy to throw a rabid raccoon into a box as we thought. It isn't as easy to throw a rabid raccoon into a box.
44:01 Speaker 04 It isn't as easy.
44:02 Wes Larson? It isn't.
44:02 Speaker 04 Okay.
44:03 Wes Larson? Even if it's attached to you. Fast forward to the next morning and I received a call from my dad. He was out of breath and he said, this is serious, Jamie. And started to explain that there was a weird raccoon in the backyard that kept coming after him. It was acting crazy and was not afraid of him. So we ran inside and took a video. I wish I still had the video. And I told him to stay inside because it didn't look normal. It had a very strange gate and it seemed disoriented. And I asked where mom was. He said she was out running errands. So I called her and said there was a potentially rabid or sick raccoon in the backyard. And given the podcast episode we had just listened to, she better be careful when going home.
44:46 Wes Larson? I advised her to drive into the garage and shut the garage door before getting out so she could safely get into the house. It's good advice. Jamie was listening.
44:55 Speaker 04 That's great.
44:56 Wes Larson? But her mom was about to sacrifice herself to prove us right. About 25 minutes later, I received a second call from my dad saying, mom was attacked by the raccoon. There's blood everywhere. She's at the hospital. Turns out, even though we had listened to Logan McNamara's story and the warning from Jeff that raccoon bites hurt, rabies shots are expensive, and the advice from you and Sydney, Cindy, Sydney, Cindy, I said Sydney, she said Cindy, uh, she didn't think she'd be in trouble. She ended up parking in the driveway and as she walked to the front door, the raccoon literally flew out of an elevated garden bed by the door. It immediately latched onto her
45:39 Wes Larson? arm and then went down to her leg where it bit her a few times. She started running back to her car, but was wearing slip-on clogs and fell to the ground. Screaming and kicking it didn't faze the raccoon, so she started swinging her purse at it, which eventually helped dislodge the raccoon from her leg. She had a few seconds to jump on her car and drove herself to the ER, into her car, not onto her car. It'd be hard to do it if you jump onto the car.
46:06 Jeff Larson? Raccoons can't climb cars.
46:09 Wes Larson? Yeah, I think they could. Uh, she later told me, he went crazy on my leg, hanging from his teeth like you see on TV. And then the bite itself was like her leg was on fire and she was in complete shock at just how strong it was. They never found the raccoon, but maybe if she'd just gotten into a damn box or dog crate like Cindy suggested, they could have tested it. She ended up getting a series of IV antibiotics, a tetanus shot, and the rabies series, a day of the attack, three days later, and a follow-up one. And the bite hurt for weeks. The rabies bill came out to $15,000, but she had insurance, so she paid $75. It's great. Not so many people
46:51 Wes Larson? are that lucky. Uh, the ER, the ER nurses loved my mom, though, and nicknamed her Raccoon Girl. She bought bear spray, although I'm sure you've covered this a thousand times. Think that would have worked in this situation? I do. I think it would probably stop a raccoon. I don't know about a rabid one. Who knows?
47:08 Speaker 04 Yeah.
47:09 Wes Larson? I think it probably would, though. And she hasn't worn slip-on clogs since that day and is always in sneakers, prepared to run.
47:16 Speaker 04 What might have stopped it is a rebar.
47:18 Wes Larson? Some rebar would have done it. It can stop a crocodile.
47:22 Speaker 04 But then if you hit its head, you can't test it, from what I hear.
47:26 Wes Larson? Uh, I think you could still test it.
47:28 Speaker 04 You need the brain.
47:29 Wes Larson? Yeah, but I don't think you would hit it hard enough.
47:31 Jeff Larson? You would knock its brains out.
47:33 Wes Larson? I don't know.
47:35 Speaker 04 When you go for the head if you were hitting it?
47:37 Wes Larson? Yeah, its brains will still, it'd probably be easier, easier to get its brains then.
47:42 Speaker 04 That's really too bad. They didn't find their raccoon.
47:44 Mike Smith? Then we can double up the study for like raccoon CTE too.
47:48 Wes Larson? It was funny because we were on the boat in Antarctica and Jamie was telling me that. And I was like, wait, did you send this story to us? Because this is a good one. Like, we actually need to tell the story. So I was glad that it was good timing.
48:02 Speaker 04 Yeah, that's great.
48:02 Wes Larson? A fun story.
48:03 Mike Smith? Makes you wonder what more we could have done, you know? I feel a certain amount of culpability. Like, we should have maybe been even better at warning them.
48:11 Jeff Larson? We should have said, Jamie's mom.
48:14 Speaker 04 No.
48:15 Jeff Larson? Don't risk it. Go in the garage.
48:16 Speaker 04 She got a text from her daughter. How much more warning do you need?
48:20 Wes Larson? Okay.
48:20 Mike Smith? Hmm, mom's taking the hard road on this one.
48:22 Speaker 04 I guess maybe if her mom had been a listener.
48:25 Wes Larson? Yeah, well, she is.
48:26 Speaker 04 She is.
48:26 Jeff Larson? She listens to that episode.
48:28 Speaker 04 Yeah, I definitely would have gone in the garage.
48:31 Mike Smith? All I'm saying.
48:32 Wes Larson? Yeah, I do think, I agree with you, but I also think I would be like, you know, I'm gonna, this raccoon's not gonna get it.
48:39 Speaker 04 Yeah, I know you would, but I wouldn't.
48:41 Wes Larson? I'm gonna be fine.
48:41 Speaker 04 Yeah.
48:42 Wes Larson? Yeah. But you might as well just go in the garage. Yeah. Anyway, she got got.
48:48 Mike Smith? That's wild.
48:49 Wes Larson? Yeah.
48:49 Mike Smith? The day after the story.
48:50 Wes Larson? The day after.
48:51 Mike Smith? What the heck?
48:51 Wes Larson? Yeah.
48:52 Speaker 04 You know, when I was growing up, Old Yeller was, came out and Old Yeller gets bit by a.
48:58 Wes Larson? A wolf.
48:59 Speaker 04 Yeah, that was rabid. And then that was how I learned about rabies. And then that was so scary for a child.
49:06 Wes Larson? Way to learn about. It's also how I learned about rabies.
49:07 Speaker 04 And then their dog dies. It was so sad.
49:10 Wes Larson? That's a movie that when you show a kid, it's like the funnest, best movie.
49:15 Speaker 04 Yeah.
49:15 Wes Larson? And then it's absolutely traumatizing.
49:17 Speaker 04 I almost showed it to my grandkids, but then we didn't. Yeah. Oh, Jeff doesn't remember. Oh, we better watch it.
49:25 Wes Larson? Like, he's this kid's best friend. They have all these fun adventures. The movie's just this gorgeous look into like a relationship between a boy and his dog. And then he gets bit by a rabid wolf and they put him down. He like attacks the boy.
49:37 Jeff Larson? The boy does?
49:38 Wes Larson? No, the, the dog.
49:40 Mike Smith? Almost the boy does.
49:41 Wes Larson? Yeah.
49:41 Speaker 04 First, the boy, the, the boy hides the dog from his family so that it won't, won't do anything, but then the mom sees.
49:49 Wes Larson? It's like a Disney movie, too.
49:51 Mike Smith? It's a rough one.
49:52 Jeff Larson? It's crazy. One night on you watch it.
49:53 Wes Larson? Yeah, I did spoil it.
49:54 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah, you do.
49:55 Jeff Larson? No way.
49:56 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah.
49:57 Wes Larson? Yeah, every dog owner. There's some.
49:59 Speaker 04 It's the guy, the kid from Swiss Family Robinson is in it.
50:02 Wes Larson? Which one?
50:03 Speaker 04 So it makes it fun.
50:03 Wes Larson? The middle son.
50:05 Speaker 04 Isn't the little one on too?
50:07 Wes Larson? I don't, oh, he might be.
50:08 Speaker 04 I think he is.
50:09 Wes Larson? Francis.
50:09 Jeff Larson? Middle one's name?
50:10 Wes Larson? Uh, Fritz. No, Ernst. Fritz is the oldest.
50:15 Mike Smith? How old was Old Yeller? Died prematurely is all I'm.
50:19 Wes Larson? I think he died a bit prematurely. He was a yellow lab, right?
50:22 Mike Smith? And like three.
50:23 Wes Larson? So.
50:23 Jeff Larson? Maybe it's.
50:24 Speaker 04 Well, he was a stray, a stray dog.
50:26 Wes Larson? Oh, so we don't know. Okay.
50:28 Jeff Larson? Uh, Mike, do you think if Jamie's mom knew karate, like three years or four years of karate? That encounter with the raccoon would have gone better for her, the exact same or worse?
50:43 Wes Larson? What kind of belt are we talking after three years, do you think? What color are we at?
50:47 Jeff Larson? Maybe it's a darker color.
50:49 Wes Larson? Like purple?
50:50 Jeff Larson? Maybe.
50:51 Wes Larson? Yeah, it would have gone, yeah, no, it would have gone so different. You could, if you can chop a board in half, you can chop a raccoon in half.
50:58 Mike Smith? No brains would be left though.
51:00 Wes Larson? No, yeah, you avoid the brains if you're chopping raccoons in half.
51:03 Speaker 04 Yeah, but the cougar one, she knew it. And so she stayed alive for an hour, but.
51:09 Wes Larson? Was she a karate practitioner?
51:10 Speaker 04 She was not a practitioner, but she had been taking it.
51:14 Wes Larson? Okay.
51:14 Jeff Larson? Well, maybe if she hadn't taken it, she wouldn't have had such false confidence.
51:19 Speaker 04 No, I don't think so.
51:20 Wes Larson? She saved her kids.
51:21 Speaker 04 Yeah.
51:22 Wes Larson? What martial art do you think would be best for fending off a raccoon? Maybe more of like a submission.
51:28 Mike Smith? Like judo? Yeah, like submission. Yeah.
51:31 Jeff Larson? I'd say power lifting.
51:33 Wes Larson? Yeah.
51:34 Mike Smith? Is that a martial art?
51:35 Wes Larson? I don't think so.
51:36 Speaker 04 Sumo wrestling.
51:37 Jeff Larson? Sumo wrestling.
51:38 Wes Larson? That's a good one.
51:38 Speaker 04 Just squish it to death.
51:40 Wes Larson? Just squish it.
51:40 Jeff Larson? Push it.
51:41 Wes Larson? Right.
51:41 Mike Smith? Yeah.
51:44 Speaker 05 New and exclusive holiday decor just launched online at The Home Depot. Check out the viral Grand Duchess collection with smart holiday lights you can control from your phone. Easily customize the twinkle across trees, wreaths, and garlands to match your holiday vibe. Create stunning light effects, then switch it up with the tap of your fingers. Even the man in red will be impressed. Shop the holiday decor you want, online only, at homedepot.com.
52:16 Speaker 06 Somebody asked me how I define myself, and I didn't know what to say. Because how can someone be defined when we're always evolving? I've been so many things.
52:28 Speaker 06 I'll be so many others.
52:32 Speaker 06 Because identity is not a performance, it's an exploration. Never the same, but always myself. That's the paradox. Paradox Intense and the new Sweet Chemistry by Prada.
52:45 Wes Larson? All right, well, that's it for our stories.
52:49 Wes Larson? So we had two hero moms, two hero mom animals, and then someone that was sacrificed to prove us right, Jamie's mom. That's heroic.
52:59 Speaker 04 So last year, right after the Mother's Day, someone sent me a story, and I thought, oh, I'm gonna save it for next Mother's Day. And then, Mike, you did it for the Toothy Tales one.
53:12 Wes Larson? Oh, I screwed you?
53:13 Speaker 04 I was like, what?
53:14 Wes Larson? I'm so sorry.
53:15 Speaker 04 In front of the monkeys, the mom, the monkey was going after her daughter, and the mom jumped in front of her, and the mom was just a little mom and did it. It's okay, it's okay. And then we got one yesterday from a listener, her name's Morning, but Wes said we'll do that one later.
53:35 Wes Larson? We're gonna do it on a listener's story.
53:37 Speaker 04 It was a good one.
53:38 Wes Larson? It was a good, it was a good story.
53:40 Speaker 04 Yeah.
53:40 Wes Larson? Well, we've done the same story several times on accident on this here show, so. It's happened a couple of times. Yes.
53:46 Speaker 04 We almost did this one again, but then Wes came up with some good ones.
53:50 Wes Larson? And people may say, oh, you guys have told a story of a mom saving someone from a crocodile before.
53:56 Speaker 04 Yeah.
53:56 Wes Larson? But that was a Nile crocodile in Africa. Not a mugger. Different circumstances, yeah.
54:00 Speaker 04 I'd still try doing the nostril thing, though.
54:03 Wes Larson? You try everything, you know? You got it. But turns out it's a rebar.
54:08 Speaker 04 Yeah.
54:09 Mike Smith? Big, big piece of rebar.
54:10 Wes Larson? Sure thing.
54:11 Mike Smith? Bend the rebar like in a horseshoe shape and go both nostrils.
54:14 Wes Larson? Get both nostrils or both eyes.
54:16 Jeff Larson? You gotta be careful not to close it around its mouth though, so then it can't let go.
54:21 Mike Smith? Oh, yeah. Extra strong.
54:25 Mike Smith? Jaw grip. All right. Do we have any questions? Should we rate these moms?
54:30 Jeff Larson? Yeah.
54:31 Mike Smith? Okay.
54:33 Speaker 04 No.
54:33 Mike Smith? Let's do it.
54:34 Speaker 04 I don't think so.
54:36 Mike Smith? All right.
54:37 Speaker 04 There are, every mom is doing the best they can.
54:39 Mike Smith? Every mom? Ooh, I don't know. I wouldn't say that. Yeah.
54:42 Speaker 04 Okay.
54:42 Mike Smith? That's a blanket statement.
54:43 Speaker 04 Fine.
54:44 Mike Smith? But a lot of moms are. I think all these moms were.
54:47 Speaker 04 Okay.
54:47 Mike Smith? Yeah, let's say 10 out of 10 moms.
54:49 Wes Larson? 10 out of 10 for all these moms. Yep.
54:51 Jeff Larson? Who, Wes, gun to your head, which mom was better, our mom or Mike's mom?
54:58 Wes Larson? Uh, gun to my head?
55:00 Jeff Larson? Yeah.
55:04 Wes Larson? How long do I have to answer this? I'm saying my mom because that's my, my personal experience.
55:10 Mike Smith? That's incredibly insulting.
55:13 Speaker 04 I'm right here, Mike.
55:15 Wes Larson? But Mike's mom was like a rude.
55:17 Jeff Larson? She's right here too, probably.
55:18 Mike Smith? She's probably, she's in the room with us.
55:20 Wes Larson? She was a great mom too.
55:22 Jeff Larson? Hmm.
55:23 Wes Larson? But if I had to pick, I would pick mine.
55:25 Speaker 04 Did you even meet her? How do you know?
55:26 Wes Larson? Yeah, I've met her a couple of times. Yeah.
55:28 Mike Smith? Um, but I've got a new mom now, Cindy, so she's, yeah.
55:32 Wes Larson? The thing is, if I didn't say mom and then I get shot, or I don't get shot, then like she's gonna be mad at me my whole life.
55:39 Jeff Larson? Hmm, yeah.
55:40 Speaker 04 But you're sincere.
55:41 Wes Larson? I am sincere.
55:42 Speaker 04 Yeah.
55:42 Jeff Larson? Okay.
55:43 Speaker 04 Everybody has to say their own mom.
55:45 Wes Larson? Yeah.
55:46 Speaker 04 Yeah.
55:46 Wes Larson? Not everybody. We gotta stop saying that.
55:48 Speaker 04 Okay.
55:50 Wes Larson? We got some people out there with bad moms.
55:52 Speaker 04 Okay.
55:53 Wes Larson? All right. So let's move on to our categories. We have some fun categories because our mom's here and it's always fun to have her involved. So the first one is hottest pop culture mom. Uh, mom, who's your hottest pop culture mom?
56:10 Wes Larson? From like TVs or movies.
56:12 Speaker 04 Uh, go, I don't go to someone else.
56:14 Wes Larson? You could say most beautiful. Was there ever a mom growing up that you were like, wow, she's so beautiful in different movies or TV or whatever?
56:21 Speaker 04 I didn't ever think of them as moms.
56:23 Wes Larson? What about like Julie Andrews?
56:24 Jeff Larson? You want?
56:25 Wes Larson? Sound of Music.
56:25 Jeff Larson? You want one?
56:26 Wes Larson? No.
56:27 Jeff Larson? What about the mom in Kindergarten Cop? She's pretty.
56:30 Wes Larson? She's pretty.
56:30 Speaker 04 Yeah.
56:32 Wes Larson? Yeah. Or go with like an animal mom. Yeah.
56:36 Speaker 04 I thought Kim Basinger.
56:38 Wes Larson? There we go.
56:39 Speaker 04 Yeah.
56:39 Wes Larson? Out of Africa?
56:40 Speaker 04 Um, no, in the cellphone one.
56:43 Jeff Larson? Oh, cellular.
56:44 Wes Larson? Cellular.
56:45 Speaker 04 Yeah, cellular.
56:46 Wes Larson? Okay. It's the first movie I think I saw Chris Evans in. He was in that, right?
56:51 Jeff Larson? Yeah.
56:51 Wes Larson? Yeah. That's a good, that's a great answer. I forgot about that movie. Never in a million years would I have thought of that. That's back when cell phones were like cool technology.
56:59 Speaker 04 I said, you know, I really want to look like her. And your dad said, okay.
57:07 Wes Larson? All right. My hottest pop culture mom? Ooh, I think I'm gonna go more in like an in-universe canonical sort of answer. Uh, Mrs. Robinson from The Graduate, he ends up with the mom instead of the girl his age. So she must have had it going on.
57:20 Jeff Larson? Wow.
57:21 Wes Larson? And Bancroft. Yeah, that's a good pick. Or Carla Gugino in Skype Kids. Ooh, that's a great pick. Yeah.
57:29 Jeff Larson? I'll go Eva Mendes in Training Day.
57:32 Wes Larson? She was a mom, wasn't she?
57:33 Jeff Larson? Or I will go or and Place Beyond the Pines as well.
57:37 Wes Larson? That's true.
57:37 Jeff Larson? Hmm. Um, or I'll go the mom from Incredibles.
57:41 Wes Larson? Elastigirl.
57:43 Jeff Larson? Caked up.
57:43 Wes Larson? Dick. All right. I, you know, we, we actually, someone said this mom the other day and I was like, it's gotta be her for me.
57:52 Jeff Larson? Marge.
57:52 Wes Larson? Nope, not Marge.
57:53 Speaker 04 No.
57:55 Wes Larson? Marisa Tomei, Aunt May from the most recent Spider-Man movies. I know not technically his mom, but his adopted mom.
58:02 Jeff Larson? She's not.
58:03 Wes Larson? That counts. She's, yeah, she, she was a mom for him.
58:07 Speaker 04 I think about stretching it was.
58:09 Wes Larson? I don't, because there's probably people out there that are in that same situation where their adopted mom was much more important to them than.
58:15 Speaker 04 But wasn't he older when?
58:18 Wes Larson? We don't, no, not really. I think they don't really ever explain that, to be honest. Yeah. But definitely his mom. You're doing the Tobey Maguire Aunt May, right? No.
58:29 Mike Smith? Uh, we'll do hottest dad. We gotta do hottest dads on Father's Day.
58:32 Wes Larson? Okay.
58:33 Mike Smith? Can we please?
58:33 Wes Larson? Sure.
58:34 Mike Smith? Okay.
58:35 Wes Larson? Do you have one in mind?
58:36 Mike Smith? No, I just want, I just want to even the playing.
58:38 Jeff Larson? Arnold Schwarzenegger kindergarten.
58:41 Mike Smith? Deadbeat dad.
58:42 Jeff Larson? Oh, wait, he's not a dad.
58:43 Mike Smith? Oh, he is. He like abandons his kid and they never, like, he talks about him a little bit.
58:49 Wes Larson? Wait, really?
58:50 Mike Smith? Yeah.
58:50 Wes Larson? He's a dad in that movie?
58:51 Jeff Larson? Yeah.
58:52 Wes Larson? He's a terrible dad.
58:53 Mike Smith? Yeah, he's awful.
58:54 Jeff Larson? And the bad guy like wants to be with his son at least.
58:58 Mike Smith? Right.
58:59 Wes Larson? We're looking at that movie the wrong way.
59:00 Mike Smith? I think it's a Karate Kid situation. Johnny Lawrence is the, he wasn't the bad guy.
59:04 Wes Larson? Someone runs over an elderly woman, kills her.
59:07 Mike Smith? Um, that does happen.
59:11 Wes Larson? A time that you didn't listen to good advice and it cost you, just like Jamie's mom. Uh, sometime in your, in your life that you didn't listen to good advice.
59:22 Speaker 04 Oh, so any advice or just from your mom?
59:25 Wes Larson? Bonus points if it's from your mom.
59:28 Wes Larson? Do you have an answer for that, mom?
59:30 Speaker 04 Not from my mom.
59:31 Wes Larson? That's fine.
59:32 Speaker 04 Yeah, it's been too long, but um, your dad, he's given me advice. Like one time, he just said, someone asked me for, like, are you gonna pay half or something? And I didn't think I should. And he said, just pay the whole thing. And I should have just done that.
59:54 Wes Larson? Yeah.
59:54 Speaker 04 It would have been the classy thing to do.
59:57 Wes Larson? Yeah.
59:57 Speaker 04 And made a point.
59:58 Wes Larson? Okay.
1:00:02 Mike Smith? Yeah. Interesting words to live by.
1:00:06 Wes Larson? Mike, do you have an answer for that?
1:00:08 Mike Smith? I do, and this is a little bit out of left field again, maybe, but, so I've always been a little bit of an eclectic, as far as like clothes go, I don't really care too much. I just kind of put on stuff that I think is interesting or fun. But my mom, she would always buy me clothes before school, the school year started, and I would always think they were so dorky and lame. And then by the end of the school year, they're like always in my regular rotation. Because she'd always, she just kind of had a good eye, you know?
1:00:36 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:00:37 Mike Smith? She's like, I want you to dress.
1:00:38 Wes Larson? Better and I'd be like, no, well, yes, you do, but no, I won't is how I'd more accurately answer. But she just, she knew she kinda had me had a peg on me as far as fashion goes. She buy me these pants. I was like, I can't, I still can't buy pants for me now that fit me very well, but she could do it.
1:00:56 Speaker 04 I have a question. I mean, just to go off for just a second. How are those jeans working out for you?
1:01:02 Wes Larson? Oh, the true denim, like the raw denim.
1:01:04 Speaker 04 Yeah. Are they soft yet?
1:01:06 Wes Larson? Yeah. We're getting there. It were months away still. I haven't been wearing them very consistently. It's a real chore.
1:01:13 Speaker 04 You're still doing it though.
1:01:14 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:01:14 Speaker 04 That they're not there yet.
1:01:15 Wes Larson? Not yet.
1:01:16 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:01:16 Wes Larson? No.
1:01:17 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:01:18 Wes Larson? And I lost a little bit of weight, so they don't fit me very well anymore. So it's like, well. Ah, she isn't even worth it.
1:01:25 Jeff Larson? They never fit you.
1:01:26 Speaker 04 Shouldn't have lost the weight. I can tell they were.
1:01:29 Wes Larson? Yeah. Yeah, I'll gain it back. That's a good solution.
1:01:33 Jeff Larson? Um, I'd say like two days ago. Uh, the grandkids were over my neph- my niece and nephew were over, I should say. And they asked if they could eat Shank's dog food and I said, yeah. And we all ate Shank's dog food. And then mom said, you guys shouldn't eat dog food. And she was right.
1:01:57 Wes Larson? Kids shouldn't eat dog food.
1:01:59 Speaker 04 They shouldn't.
1:02:00 Wes Larson? No.
1:02:00 Jeff Larson? Yeah, you were right. It was good advice. I was wrong.
1:02:03 Speaker 04 Okay. Thanks, Jeff.
1:02:07 Wes Larson? The one that I thought of with my mom was like in college. I wasn't, I was in a relationship that wasn't good for me or the girl. And she was really nice and we all really liked her and my mom was really nice to her. But like privately, sometimes you would be like, I don't know about this, you know? And I just kind of ignored you because I thought I did know about it. And it cost me a lot of like suffering and time because of that. And I should have just listened to you earlier on. But you know, boys will be boys, right?
1:02:39 Speaker 04 Yep.
1:02:40 Wes Larson? The other one I had is I, I had a friend that like really got into Bitcoin in like 2012 or 2013. And just like based his whole life around it and told me to buy some. And I could have bought like a thousand Bitcoin for like $10 and I didn't do it. Oh, wow.
1:02:58 Speaker 04 But then you could have made a whole lot of money and then lost it all.
1:03:01 Wes Larson? I, yeah, that's true. I probably would have sold it when it was like worth $5,000 or something.
1:03:06 Mike Smith? Wait, Cindy, were you involved in the Bitcoin?
1:03:08 Wes Larson? No, this was just outside. It could be advice from anyone. It didn't have to be mom.
1:03:12 Mike Smith? Okay, yeah.
1:03:12 Wes Larson? Yeah, I see. Yeah, my mom was still.
1:03:16 Speaker 04 I still don't, I still don't get it. I'm like, I don't get what it was.
1:03:20 Wes Larson? All right, Mom.
1:03:21 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:03:22 Wes Larson? If you could try any drug and it wouldn't have any negative consequences, physically, legally, or spiritually, which one would you try?
1:03:31 Speaker 04 I'm passing on this.
1:03:33 Wes Larson? Okay, Mom, if you could get a tattoo, where would you get it and where, if you had to get one?
1:03:39 Speaker 04 I'm passing on this.
1:03:40 Wes Larson? Pass, okay.
1:03:43 Speaker 05 New and exclusive holiday decor just launched online at the Home Depot. Check out the viral Grand Duchess collection with smart holiday lights you can control from your phone. Easily customize the twinkle across trees, wreaths, and garlands to match your holiday vibe. Create stunning light effects, then switch it up with the tap of your fingers. Even the man in red will be impressed. Shop the holiday decor you want online only at homedepot.com.
1:04:15 Speaker 06 Somebody asked me how I define myself, and I didn't know what to say. Because how can someone be defined when we're always evolving? I've been so many things. I'll be so many others.
1:04:30 Speaker 06 Because identity is not a performance, it's an exploration. Never the same, but always myself. That's the paradox. Paradox Intense and the new Sweet Chemistry by Prada.
1:04:43 Wes Larson? Okay, would you rather answer one of those questions or go to the moon?
1:04:50 Speaker 04 Answer one of those questions.
1:04:52 Wes Larson? Which one would you rather answer?
1:04:54 Speaker 04 The tattoo one.
1:04:55 Wes Larson? Okay, so where would you get it and what would it be?
1:04:59 Speaker 04 I'm not, that's not, nice try.
1:05:01 Wes Larson? All right.
1:05:02 Jeff Larson? Well, spaceships outside.
1:05:05 Wes Larson? My mom famously doesn't want to go to the moon.
1:05:07 Speaker 04 I'm not going to the moon.
1:05:08 Mike Smith? What do you think would be, what drug are we trying to give Cindy, you think, for like maximum benefit?
1:05:14 Wes Larson? I don't know what she would like.
1:05:15 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:05:16 Jeff Larson? Mom, you could be the first person to walk on the moon.
1:05:19 Speaker 04 Are we ready for my categories?
1:05:21 Wes Larson? Jeff, Jeff would maybe finally believe in the moon.
1:05:24 Jeff Larson? You could be the first person to walk on the moon. That'd be amazing.
1:05:28 Wes Larson? All right, you can, yeah, let's do your categories, mom.
1:05:30 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:05:33 Speaker 04 So the first one, we're gonna just mess with you a little bit, Wes.
1:05:39 Wes Larson? Okay.
1:05:39 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:05:40 Wes Larson? I think I deserve it.
1:05:41 Jeff Larson? We're messing.
1:05:42 Speaker 04 Yeah, so um, I thought we could all just go around, we have a game, your dad and I play where we each name a color until we can't name anymore, and then whoever was last wins. So I thought we'd just go around and name some of the stuff that you say every podcast.
1:06:00 Wes Larson? Okay.
1:06:01 Mike Smith? Is that game always colors between you two? Or does it change?
1:06:06 Speaker 04 No, it can change. It changes. But colors are what we're most equal at, equal at.
1:06:12 Wes Larson? Okay. They play it five times a day.
1:06:16 Speaker 04 No, we only play it driving when we're really bored.
1:06:19 Wes Larson? So we're just doing roasts, like stuff that I say too much.
1:06:22 Speaker 04 No, not that you say too much.
1:06:23 Wes Larson? That I say every episode.
1:06:24 Speaker 04 You say every, almost every episode.
1:06:26 Wes Larson? Who's going first?
1:06:27 Speaker 04 Mike is.
1:06:28 Mike Smith? That's a good question.
1:06:29 Speaker 04 That's a good question. Okay.
1:06:31 Mike Smith? When it is in fact not a good question.
1:06:33 Wes Larson? I think I say that to buy myself a little bit of time sometimes.
1:06:36 Speaker 04 You know, it's okay.
1:06:38 Wes Larson? But I think it's a good one.
1:06:40 Speaker 04 You should, you should just say, that's a good answer, Mike.
1:06:42 Wes Larson? Yeah, that's a good answer.
1:06:44 Mike Smith? That's a great answer.
1:06:45 Speaker 04 Okay, Jeff?
1:06:47 Jeff Larson? I'll say they should have had bear spray.
1:06:50 Speaker 04 Okay. Um, do you want to play with?
1:06:54 Wes Larson? Uh, sure.
1:06:55 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:06:56 Wes Larson? Sure is one word I say too much.
1:06:58 Speaker 04 You know, one time someone sent me some shirt ideas and they had some of the things you said, but I I didn't know where it was. Okay. Mine is put a pin in this.
1:07:08 Wes Larson? Put a pin in it.
1:07:10 Mike Smith? That's a good one. Yeah. I'll go with, I'll go first.
1:07:15 Wes Larson? Oh, yeah.
1:07:18 Jeff Larson? That's not true, Jeff.
1:07:19 Wes Larson? All right.
1:07:22 Wes Larson? Uh, man, what else do I say?
1:07:26 Jeff Larson? You talk about that bullet, Ant, like every day.
1:07:29 Mike Smith? Ouch.
1:07:32 Speaker 04 Oh, don't go out of turn, Jeff.
1:07:33 Wes Larson? Uh, I, I'm good. I don't want to do anymore, but you can do more.
1:07:37 Speaker 04 Um, mine would be put a pin in it.
1:07:39 Wes Larson? You did that already. That's the one you just said.
1:07:42 Speaker 04 Oh, I'm sorry. No.
1:07:44 Mike Smith? You're out. You're out.
1:07:45 Speaker 04 Oh, no, I have a better one.
1:07:48 Wes Larson? What's the better one?
1:07:49 Mike Smith? It won't count, but you can say it.
1:07:51 Speaker 04 Well, we can see if you guys say it. You guys, you guys keep going. I can be out.
1:07:56 Mike Smith? Um, oh, you always end every episode saying love, we love you. I love you guys.
1:08:02 Wes Larson? Love you.
1:08:03 Mike Smith? Love you listeners. Something like that. Variation on that.
1:08:08 Jeff Larson? You're always telling people that they could subscribe for the price of a coffee.
1:08:13 Wes Larson? Yeah, I gotta stop saying that one. I get in trouble every time I say that. Yeah.
1:08:18 Mike Smith? Well, it's because it's something that like millionaires and billionaires say too.
1:08:21 Speaker 04 Oh, okay.
1:08:22 Mike Smith? They're always like comparing things to coffee and like, oh, you shouldn't be paying for overpriced coffee. And that's not what I was saying.
1:08:27 Speaker 04 Okay. Okay.
1:08:28 Mike Smith? I was just saying our subscription's cheap.
1:08:31 Speaker 04 Mike, do you have another one?
1:08:32 Mike Smith? I mean, it's all just stuff that will almost necessary or logically come up during an episode. Like, let's go to categories or like, this is gonna, we got a good story today.
1:08:41 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:08:42 Mike Smith? Ouchies. Yeah.
1:08:42 Speaker 04 Do you have another one?
1:08:43 Jeff Larson? I did a lot of research on this one.
1:08:46 Wes Larson? I read a book.
1:08:47 Mike Smith? I read multiple books.
1:08:49 Speaker 04 So we could go on for a long time.
1:08:50 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:08:50 Speaker 04 I have, I do.
1:08:51 Jeff Larson? What was yours?
1:08:52 Speaker 04 Mine is, um, it's been a minute.
1:08:55 Wes Larson? Oh, okay.
1:08:56 Speaker 04 It's been a minute.
1:08:56 Wes Larson? I do say that.
1:08:57 Speaker 04 It's been a minute since we talked about this.
1:08:59 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:08:59 Jeff Larson? Hmm.
1:09:00 Speaker 04 And then I have one other one. Um, I love this animal.
1:09:04 Jeff Larson? Oh, yeah. This is one of my favorite animals.
1:09:06 Wes Larson? How did we not get that one?
1:09:08 Jeff Larson? Yesterday, he saw this bird and he's like, that's my favorite local bird. I was like, really? And he's like, yeah. I was like, what do you mean by that? And he's like, it's like my favorite bird local that's around locally. I was like, more than like kestrels and golden eagles? And he's like, well, no.
1:09:30 Wes Larson? To Jeff's credit, he pushed me the like, perfect way. Where he just kept asking more questions of like, what about this bird? And I was like, yeah, actually, you're right.
1:09:42 Wes Larson? And then I was like, it's probably my local favorite local songbird. And I was like, besides maybe red wing blackbirds.
1:09:49 Speaker 04 Okay, we're moving on though. I have a couple more categories.
1:09:52 Wes Larson? Let's go.
1:09:53 Speaker 04 Okay, this is this, I asked for some help. This is my friend Nellie that helped me. She's from Tams Media. And she said, is there any animal physical feature you would have to make parenting easier? And what would it have been? I'm asking you guys.
1:10:11 Jeff Larson? It's gotta be a pouch.
1:10:13 Wes Larson? Ooh, that's a good pick. That's probably the best pick.
1:10:16 Jeff Larson? Koala pouch or kangaroo pouch?
1:10:19 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:10:20 Jeff Larson? Or wombat pouch?
1:10:21 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:10:22 Jeff Larson? Or squirrel pouch?
1:10:24 Wes Larson? Just pouch, yeah, sure.
1:10:26 Mike Smith? Squirrels have pouches? Some squirrels.
1:10:28 Wes Larson? What the heck? Well, actually, I don't know about that.
1:10:31 Jeff Larson? Some might.
1:10:33 Speaker 04 So do you guys have any other ones?
1:10:34 Wes Larson? Uh, let me think. A feature that an animal has, I think wings. Like, I always like when like, birds can like, tuck their young under their wings.
1:10:44 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:10:45 Wes Larson? I think it always seems really comforting and nice.
1:10:47 Speaker 04 It is cute.
1:10:47 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:10:48 Speaker 04 How about you, Mike?
1:10:49 Mike Smith? Tails, just to corral like a monkey or a capuchin or something. They corral their young with their tails sometimes. I think that's kind of fun. That'd be more of a fun than a practical, but also.
1:11:00 Wes Larson? Good reasons, yeah.
1:11:02 Speaker 04 She had a couple, well, hers were a different question, but.
1:11:06 Jeff Larson? A gorilla?
1:11:07 Speaker 04 Goes with it.
1:11:08 Jeff Larson? Has thumbs?
1:11:09 Speaker 04 I liked hers because she's, she asked her, her friends that had kids. She's not, anyways, one of them said that an owl, because they could turn their head all the way around. To watch her kids. And then, this is the one I would choose, though. She wished she could have slept like a bear in the hibernation phase when she had kids. That's the one I would, that's the one I would choose.
1:11:36 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:11:36 Mike Smith? I'd pick that one spider where it can eat you.
1:11:39 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:11:40 Wes Larson? Where your kids can be.
1:11:41 Mike Smith? Right.
1:11:41 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:11:42 Mike Smith? Okay. You just let it happen.
1:11:43 Speaker 04 And then also she said, which, um, which animal would get you kicked out of a Facebook group?
1:11:49 Jeff Larson? That's a good point, Mike. That spider's almost kind of selfish. Like a mom who really sacrifices herself is a mom that sticks around.
1:11:59 Mike Smith? Stays around for a long time.
1:12:01 Jeff Larson? Helps raise them. This mom's like,
1:12:03 Wes Larson? She's lazy.
1:12:04 Jeff Larson? Welcome to the world, kids.
1:12:06 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:12:06 Jeff Larson? I'm out.
1:12:07 Wes Larson? Good luck. That's a good point.
1:12:09 Jeff Larson? Anyway, sorry, mom.
1:12:10 Speaker 04 What kind of animal would get banned from a Facebook mom's group because of how bad of mom? Or because of the mom characteristics she has?
1:12:20 Jeff Larson? That spider.
1:12:22 Speaker 04 The spider?
1:12:23 Wes Larson? Uh, a female cassowary.
1:12:25 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:12:25 Wes Larson? Because they don't, they don't do any young raising. They lay the eggs and then they're out.
1:12:29 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:12:31 Jeff Larson? What are the ones that let the dads raise the eggs?
1:12:34 Wes Larson? Cassowary.
1:12:35 Jeff Larson? Cassowary, yeah.
1:12:36 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:12:36 Wes Larson? Also, any of the ratites, like emus, ostriches.
1:12:40 Jeff Larson? I think I was gonna say emus, but yeah.
1:12:42 Wes Larson? They all do that.
1:12:43 Speaker 04 She had the cuckoo bird that, um, and this would irritate other moms too.
1:12:48 Wes Larson? Oh, yeah. Plants a baby in their nest.
1:12:49 Speaker 04 Because plants the eggs in other people's nests. Other, not people's.
1:12:54 Wes Larson? Nest parasitism. And then they're usually bigger and they'll kick the other babies out of the nest.
1:12:59 Speaker 04 And then she said elephants try to like overshare or parent other people's kids. Who likes that as a mom?
1:13:06 Wes Larson? No one likes that.
1:13:07 Mike Smith? Maybe those turtles that let their young just sprint across the sand and hope they don't get owned.
1:13:13 Wes Larson? Sea turtles.
1:13:13 Mike Smith? Yeah, sea turtles.
1:13:14 Wes Larson? Like not only have kids in a, like, and leave, but they put them in the worst possible spot.
1:13:20 Mike Smith? Awful.
1:13:20 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:13:21 Speaker 04 Koalas, um, they allow their babies to eat the mom's poop. Sorry, I mentioned poop.
1:13:27 Wes Larson? And they give them chlamydia too.
1:13:29 Mike Smith? But that's like a good thing though, right? That's how the young.
1:13:31 Wes Larson? Sure.
1:13:32 Mike Smith? Eat.
1:13:33 Speaker 04 And the sand tiger shark lets their kids eat their other kids.
1:13:37 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:13:38 Speaker 04 I guess a lot of.
1:13:39 Wes Larson? There's a lot of animals that do that. Yeah.
1:13:41 Speaker 04 So.
1:13:41 Mike Smith? Okay.
1:13:42 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:13:42 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:13:43 Speaker 04 And lastly, the last thing is, uh, would you rather situations?
1:13:48 Jeff Larson? You let us eat your poop?
1:13:50 Speaker 04 No, I didn't. Okay, so each of you, I have these, I have them written out. So each, everybody gets to choose one.
1:13:58 Mike Smith? So wait, you did or you did not let them?
1:14:00 Speaker 04 I did not. No.
1:14:01 Jeff Larson? She might not let Wes and Mike, but she for sure.
1:14:04 Speaker 04 Okay, we're not getting into poop again. What Jeff, you took two.
1:14:09 Wes Larson? Jeff.
1:14:09 Speaker 04 Pass one of yours to somebody else. Okay, I'm gonna start with mine cuz I've read these before. Would you, and this one is from my friend Sam. Would you fight off one giant ant the size of a horse or thousands of real sized ants?
1:14:26 Jeff Larson? Thousands of real sized ants.
1:14:27 Wes Larson? Thousands of real sized ants.
1:14:28 Speaker 04 Really?
1:14:29 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:14:29 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:14:30 Jeff Larson? One horse sized ant?
1:14:32 Speaker 04 Mm hmm.
1:14:32 Jeff Larson? What can ants do?
1:14:35 Wes Larson? I mean, they have like.
1:14:35 Speaker 04 Some of them can sting.
1:14:36 Wes Larson? They have mandibles. Yeah, the mandibles and they, some of them sting. I think I'd still rather.
1:14:42 Jeff Larson? Depends if I get a weapon or not.
1:14:44 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:14:45 Speaker 04 Yes.
1:14:46 Jeff Larson? If I can have a gun, I'll fight the one.
1:14:48 Wes Larson? Sure.
1:14:48 Jeff Larson? If I don't get weapons, I'll fight the mini.
1:14:51 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:14:52 Wes Larson? I think I agree with Jeff's answer.
1:14:55 Speaker 04 Okay. Um.
1:14:57 Wes Larson? We're kinda always fighting hundreds of thousands of ants in a way, right?
1:15:02 Speaker 04 Okay, next. Who's next, Wes?
1:15:04 Wes Larson? I'll go next. Harry Lime and the third man. Uh. Looking down on us like ants. Would you rather swim as fast as a dolphin or run as fast as a pronghorn? The catch is, there's a catch. If you choose dolphin, you have to have a blowhole for the rest of your life. That's not a catch for some of us. And if you choose pronghorn, you have to have antlers. Pronghorn actually have horns.
1:15:26 Speaker 04 This one's from Sam.
1:15:27 Wes Larson? But, yeah.
1:15:28 Jeff Larson? Say.
1:15:29 Wes Larson? You can swim as fast as a dolphin or run as fast as a pronghorn. Pronghorn are the fastest land animal in North America.
1:15:36 Jeff Larson? Yeah.
1:15:37 Wes Larson? The second fastest animal in the world. The catch is if you choose dolphin, you have to have a blowhole for the rest of your life. And if you choose pronghorn, you have to have horns.
1:15:45 Speaker 04 So for me, I was gonna choose pronghorn because I thought maybe I'm on land a lot more.
1:15:50 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:15:50 Speaker 04 But I just can't live with antlers, so I think I have to do dolphin.
1:15:54 Wes Larson? I think, I think horns look kinda cool, though.
1:15:56 Speaker 04 Yeah, on you guys, but not on me.
1:15:58 Wes Larson? I'd rather have horns than a blowhole. Horns would be hard to sleep with. Right? I don't think so. You don't? No.
1:16:04 Speaker 04 Maybe you can fold them up.
1:16:06 Wes Larson? And pronghorn horns are cool looking, too.
1:16:08 Jeff Larson? Fold your horns up? I don't know.
1:16:10 Wes Larson? Maybe.
1:16:12 Wes Larson? I think I think we're bound by the same rules that the animals have. So I'm picturing
1:16:16 Speaker 04 So they don't fold them up?
1:16:17 Wes Larson? No, they don't fold them up. As far as we know. They're really interesting horns that they have a sheath that they sometimes drop.
1:16:23 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:16:24 Wes Larson? But um, they are horns. I would pick the pronghorn. I'd rather, I think I'm with you. Like, I live on land. So I'd rather be able to run fast.
1:16:33 Speaker 04 Jeff?
1:16:34 Jeff Larson? I'd take the pronghorn.
1:16:35 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:16:35 Mike Smith? Blowhole.
1:16:36 Wes Larson? I thought you would say dolphin. Yeah.
1:16:38 Speaker 04 Okay. Okay, next. Jeff?
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1:17:13 Speaker 06 Somebody asked me how I define myself, and I didn't know what to say. Because how can someone be defined when we're always evolving? I've been so many things. I'll be so many others.
1:17:29 Speaker 06 Because identity is not a performance, it's an exploration. Never the same, but always myself. That's the paradox. Paradox intense and the new sweet chemistry by Prada.
1:17:42 Speaker 04 This is from Caitlin and Jordan and Brooklyn.
1:17:46 Jeff Larson? Would you rather, or sorry, you have two would you rathers here?
1:17:50 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:17:50 Jeff Larson? Would you rather have a fly buzzing around your face all day? Or get bit by a mosquito once every hour? For the rest of your life?
1:18:00 Speaker 04 I don't know. I, let's just, let's decide. How about for a week?
1:18:04 Jeff Larson? I think.
1:18:05 Wes Larson? How about for a year?
1:18:06 Speaker 04 A year?
1:18:07 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:18:07 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:18:08 Wes Larson? I'd rather have the mosquito.
1:18:10 Jeff Larson? Oh, wait, for, nevermind. But it said all day. So I figured that one's just one day.
1:18:15 Wes Larson? If it's one day, then I'm picking the skeeters too.
1:18:17 Speaker 04 Yeah, I think I would too.
1:18:19 Wes Larson? Flies are annoying. If a fly is buzzing around me for more than like 10 minutes.
1:18:23 Jeff Larson? But mosquitoes buzz too.
1:18:25 Wes Larson? Yeah, but that wasn't part of the question.
1:18:27 Speaker 04 Does anyone change for a year though?
1:18:30 Speaker 04 Are we all picking mosquito?
1:18:32 Wes Larson? I think over a year, I just get used to having mosquito bites.
1:18:36 Mike Smith? Is it like the same mosquito? Like if you try to like smash it, it's just indestructible.
1:18:41 Speaker 04 Oh, good question, Mike. That's a really good question.
1:18:46 Mike Smith? Cause that's actually kinda.
1:18:47 Wes Larson? I almost said that and I caught myself.
1:18:49 Speaker 04 No, that's what I didn't want.
1:18:51 Wes Larson? No, it's all right.
1:18:52 Speaker 04 Okay, I didn't want that to happen. Okay, okay.
1:18:55 Mike Smith? Yeah, I'll take mosquito, I guess.
1:18:56 Speaker 04 Okay, Mike, your question.
1:18:58 Mike Smith? Okay, would you rather hike with someone who moves at an insane pace or one who stops every two minutes?
1:19:06 Speaker 04 This is from the Jordan in Brooklyn.
1:19:08 Mike Smith? I'm going insane pace. I need this hike to be over pretty quick.
1:19:15 Jeff Larson? I think I am too.
1:19:17 Wes Larson? Uh, how long are we stopping? Just like a quick stop?
1:19:21 Speaker 04 I don't know.
1:19:22 Wes Larson? If it's a quick stop, I'm picking the stops. If it's like a leisurely stop, then I'm picking the, yeah.
1:19:29 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:19:29 Wes Larson? What if it's a really steep hike? Then I want to stop every.
1:19:31 Jeff Larson? But like, I'll just get, I'll just let the guy go and then I'll hike by myself.
1:19:36 Wes Larson? It's like beautiful though, and you're just like, man.
1:19:38 Jeff Larson? Yeah, I would enjoy it.
1:19:40 Wes Larson? Grinnell Glacier.
1:19:40 Jeff Larson? He hikes the whole thing.
1:19:41 Wes Larson? Sure. These are all good questions.
1:19:43 Speaker 04 Oh, definitely stopping every two minutes.
1:19:47 Jeff Larson? Gun to your head, you just get shot instead of having to hike.
1:19:50 Wes Larson? Do either or not. Would you rather hike? No.
1:19:54 Speaker 04 Yeah, but Mike just wants it over, Wes.
1:19:56 Mike Smith? Yeah.
1:19:56 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:19:57 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:19:57 Mike Smith? So I like hiking with cousin Brent, cause he hikes like thirty miles an hour.
1:20:01 Wes Larson? It's funny to me that you'll go.
1:20:03 Speaker 04 So does his mom.
1:20:03 Wes Larson? You go on like a walk around your neighborhood for hours, but then you don't like hiking.
1:20:08 Mike Smith? No, it's very different.
1:20:09 Wes Larson? Yeah. Okay.
1:20:11 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:20:12 Jeff Larson? That's similar.
1:20:13 Mike Smith? Yeah.
1:20:14 Wes Larson? How?
1:20:15 Jeff Larson? You're just walking.
1:20:15 Mike Smith? Walking. Yeah, well, we walk everywhere all the time, every day in our house. Is that hiking? Like walking up the stairs, you can, it's like hiking upstairs.
1:20:23 Wes Larson? It's like closer than a lot of things.
1:20:25 Mike Smith? Sure, but it's all like just walking in general is kinda like all the same to you.
1:20:30 Jeff Larson? Walking in the house normally has purpose, walking around like, like you normally have to walk around the house, I mean, um, necessary purpose, I should say. Walking around the neighborhood is more of a choice, like hiking.
1:20:44 Mike Smith? Yeah, but I'm never outside of 30 seconds away from like a toilet or something nice to drink or an Uber ride to a restaurant.
1:20:52 Jeff Larson? You go to the bathroom like once a day.
1:20:54 Mike Smith? I know it's I have optimized that whole situation for myself. It's so inefficient. I don't know how you guys do it more than once.
1:21:01 Wes Larson? It's nice. It's pleasant. A little break from the monotony. Go sit in there. All right. We asked our listeners to ask advice from you. So we have a category called some nice advice would suffice. And this time we want you to give our listeners some advice, mom.
1:21:21 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:21:22 Wes Larson? So me and Jeff both picked some answers to that question. And we're going to read them out and we want you to give advice to these people.
1:21:29 Speaker 04 You pick the answers?
1:21:30 Wes Larson? We were sorry, we picked the answer, the answers to our question.
1:21:34 Speaker 04 Oh, okay. Okay.
1:21:36 Wes Larson? Some responses.
1:21:37 Speaker 04 Wait, pass me the answers.
1:21:38 Wes Larson? Responses. This is from Slytherin's Slytherin's response. What do you do for self-care?
1:21:46 Speaker 04 Oh, I almost do too much.
1:21:48 Jeff Larson? Red light.
1:21:49 Speaker 04 Yeah, I go to red light.
1:21:52 Wes Larson? I think more than like just skin stuff like for your mental health.
1:21:55 Speaker 04 For my mental health?
1:21:56 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:21:56 Speaker 04 Okay, yeah.
1:21:57 Wes Larson? Also, you can do both.
1:21:58 Speaker 04 Yeah, I do lots of stuff just to make myself feel good.
1:22:03 Speaker 04 Now that now that I don't have any kids in the house, but I I read a lot, which actually just takes me out of my environment and puts me in a different situation mentally. And I that I use it for escapism a lot. Like if anything bad is ever happening, I read just to get out of it. I I paddleboard like that's my that's my favorite thing.
1:22:29 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:22:29 Speaker 04 And if I can't paddleboard, then I'll go swimming. Swimming just makes me, it makes me happy. Like sometimes Gilbert will just say, why don't you go swimming?
1:22:39 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:22:39 Speaker 04 You know, just to, um, so I'll come back happy. Weather, weather related is really I'm weather sensitive. So if if it's going to be dark and dreary for a month, then I go somewhere else.
1:22:55 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:22:56 Speaker 04 I I go a lot. And you know, it's not always expensive. Sometimes I just go to Utah.
1:23:01 Wes Larson? You drive.
1:23:02 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:23:03 Wes Larson? All right. Those are good answers.
1:23:05 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:23:06 Jeff Larson? Um, Ally Sanics asks, tips for raising a kid with ADHD. My daughter is 10, not enough space to go into detail here.
1:23:15 Speaker 04 So from what I've found is that every child with ADHD or ADD is different. And it seems like the professionals don't really have a pat answer for it. Like, I know when I took Jeff to different things, they'd always look like, oh, this is, I, you know, I'm not sure about this situation, kind of like, I'm not sure what to do. I'm thinking, I mean, there's people much worse than him. But so.
1:23:46 Jeff Larson? That's pretty bad at school.
1:23:49 Speaker 04 Yeah, but not that bad. I mean, you.
1:23:51 Jeff Larson? I rode the long bus.
1:23:53 Speaker 04 You graduated university, Jeff. So not that bad. Um, anyways, what Gil and I finally decided, I mean, we tried all different things with being strict, being lenient, all different things. We just decided we wanted Jeff to be happy. And so that's what we concentrated on. And not just like giving him gifts, but just like trying to put him in situations where he is happy and trying to just act so we weren't stressed out. Um, like, okay, we're all a team. What's the team gonna do now? How are the, how's the team gonna figure this out? You know, and how are we all gonna just be okay with this and be happy? And that's what we did.
1:24:38 Jeff Larson? Yeah, I think that's good advice.
1:24:39 Wes Larson? Yeah. Cindy, I married my husband last August, but I think I might be gay and in love with my friend.
1:24:49 Wes Larson? What do you think Cory should do?
1:24:51 Speaker 04 So I don't have a lot of experience with this. Um, I think communication is the key.
1:24:57 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:24:57 Speaker 04 I think you just have to communicate with everyone. And, um, and just communicate that with love, just, you know, because you love these people and treat them with respect and love them.
1:25:10 Wes Larson? Great.
1:25:11 Jeff Larson? All right, so this one just said, it's from Kate Huntley. And they, it's more of a comment, but it says, I don't know, but Cindy and two dictators is a dream blunt rotation.
1:25:26 Speaker 04 A dream what rotation?
1:25:27 Jeff Larson? Like to smoke marijuana together?
1:25:30 Speaker 04 Oh.
1:25:31 Jeff Larson? Did you hear me say that on a recent episode?
1:25:34 Speaker 04 No.
1:25:35 Jeff Larson? That like, so like, it's like you choose like three people and yourself who you would like get a weed cigarette? And you all share it with them? And I chose you with Vladimir Putin and Benjamin Netanyahu, I think, right?
1:25:53 Mike Smith? Kim Jong Un.
1:25:53 Jeff Larson? Or no, Kim Jong Un, yeah.
1:25:57 Speaker 04 So.
1:25:58 Jeff Larson? Is that flattering?
1:25:59 Mike Smith? It should be.
1:26:00 Speaker 04 It's not flattering.
1:26:01 Jeff Larson? Do you have one?
1:26:02 Speaker 04 I just wish that you wouldn't even think about it.
1:26:07 Speaker 04 You know?
1:26:08 Mike Smith? Yeah.
1:26:08 Speaker 04 I just think that the, the most.
1:26:13 Jeff Larson? I just.
1:26:13 Speaker 04 Brain activity you can have in a normal way is the best.
1:26:17 Jeff Larson? My, my thing that I said is like, when I'm at a ta- look, we can, we can get rid of drugs and just say like, you're at a table with someone?
1:26:26 Mike Smith? Yeah, like share a drink with someone.
1:26:28 Jeff Larson? You're good at, not a drink, nothing.
1:26:30 Speaker 04 A Diet Coke?
1:26:31 Jeff Larson? Oh, sure. Yeah, some juice.
1:26:33 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:26:33 Jeff Larson? Um, you're at a table with three people? I think you get right to the point with people.
1:26:40 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:26:40 Jeff Larson? We're at a table with Putin and Kim Jong Un, I think you're gonna be like, so was, so what was it like for you when your mom died?
1:26:47 Speaker 04 Okay, okay.
1:26:49 Jeff Larson? Yeah.
1:26:49 Speaker 04 Okay, then it might be a compliment. I think I might be out of my, I'm not very political.
1:26:55 Mike Smith? It's shorthand for, I feel like I'd really like to spend time with this person, be comfortable with them and learn more about them.
1:27:01 Jeff Larson? Yeah.
1:27:02 Mike Smith? Kind of what.
1:27:02 Jeff Larson? Do you have anyone from history that you'd wanna like sit at a table with and have dinner?
1:27:08 Speaker 04 Abraham Lincoln.
1:27:09 Jeff Larson? Yeah? What'd you ask him about?
1:27:12 Speaker 04 Um, probably.
1:27:13 Jeff Larson? Why'd you do that?
1:27:14 Speaker 04 No, I'd probably ask him about, um, the failures, how he kept going with all the failures that he had.
1:27:21 Jeff Larson? Hmm.
1:27:21 Speaker 04 Because he really, I mean, he really had a lot of adversity and he just kept going. And I don't get.
1:27:29 Jeff Larson? Yeah.
1:27:29 Speaker 04 I don't get that drive. I mean, that's just amazing to me.
1:27:33 Jeff Larson? Okay.
1:27:34 Mike Smith? I saw a statue. Abraham Lincoln recently built in nineteen forty one. It's like sexy Abraham Lincoln. It's called the young Lincoln. Look it up. No shirt, no shoes.
1:27:43 Speaker 04 Oh, seriously?
1:27:44 Mike Smith? Yeah. Like, yeah, it's weird.
1:27:48 Wes Larson? When was it built?
1:27:49 Mike Smith? Nineteen forty one. Look it up. The young Lincoln.
1:27:51 Wes Larson? The young Lincoln statue?
1:27:53 Mike Smith? I don't think it was meant to be like a, because he wasn't a sex symbol. I've actually talked to a girl about this recently.
1:27:59 Wes Larson? Oh, yeah. He's like holding his like thumb hooked into his pants.
1:28:02 Mike Smith? It's weird.
1:28:03 Speaker 04 Yeah, he's not a sex symbol.
1:28:05 Mike Smith? You don't think, he's like tall though, right?
1:28:07 Speaker 04 That doesn't matter.
1:28:08 Wes Larson? Sometimes that's all that matters.
1:28:09 Speaker 04 That doesn't matter.
1:28:11 Mike Smith? Okay, yeah. Smash or pass? Cindy's a pass on Abraham Lincoln.
1:28:15 Wes Larson? Smash.
1:28:15 Mike Smith? Me too.
1:28:16 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:28:16 Mike Smith? I think politically, charismatically.
1:28:19 Jeff Larson? I don't like talking about that type of stuff.
1:28:22 Wes Larson? All right, I got one more, mom.
1:28:24 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:28:24 Wes Larson? This one's from K Flogger oh nine. Happy Mother's Day Cindy. What's a mindset shift that made your life better? You've had to do a few of these.
1:28:34 Speaker 04 I have had to do a few. Um, the one I'm working on now is the where you just have to live your own life and let your loved ones live their life and just have a like a neutral ground and just live your life and fit people in how they they fit in and not worry too much. I, I actually stopped worrying a lot.
1:29:03 Wes Larson? You've done, yeah, you've really come a long way with that.
1:29:05 Speaker 04 And I just read a quote from Michael J. Fox and it talked about how if you worry about things, then you're just experiencing them twice. Because you worry about it, so you're experiencing it then. And then if it happens, then you're experiencing it again.
1:29:20 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:29:20 Speaker 04 So why worry about it if it hasn't happened?
1:29:23 Mike Smith? Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, I like that.
1:29:26 Speaker 04 So I did, I gave up the worrying with the animal stuff and the swimming with sharks and that. I'm just like, well, if it happens, then I'll worry about it.
1:29:33 Jeff Larson? That's kind of a good way to go to prison. Like, I'm not going to worry about this, so I can do, I'll just set this building on fire.
1:29:40 Speaker 04 Okay, thanks. Thanks for that advice.
1:29:43 Jeff Larson? I'm just saying, don't take that too far.
1:29:45 Speaker 04 Okay, I won't. I won't.
1:29:48 Jeff Larson? I got my last one. This is the like, I've been giving you easy ones. This is
1:29:56 Jeff Larson? Damas C. says, what's the best way to stop hiccuping?
1:30:02 Speaker 04 Oh, eat sugar and I prefer brown sugar.
1:30:07 Wes Larson? Really? It doesn't work at all.
1:30:09 Speaker 04 Oh, it's totally worked.
1:30:10 Wes Larson? It doesn't work.
1:30:10 Speaker 04 It works every time, every time.
1:30:14 Wes Larson? But I remember pretending to get the hiccups when I was a kid because you guys would give me a spoonful of brown sugar.
1:30:20 Speaker 04 And it stopped right away.
1:30:21 Wes Larson? Well, because I was pretending.
1:30:24 Jeff Larson? I think it worked.
1:30:26 Speaker 04 It works every time for me.
1:30:28 Jeff Larson? Yeah, I'd always look for like a big clump of brown sugar.
1:30:31 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:30:33 Jeff Larson? It does make, I do feel like I was hiccuping a lot.
1:30:36 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:30:37 Jeff Larson? Maybe my body wanted sugar, so it'd make me hiccup.
1:30:40 Speaker 04 Maybe.
1:30:40 Jeff Larson? But do you just suck on the sugar or do you eat it or how does that work?
1:30:47 Speaker 04 I just dump it in my mouth. I don't know what you did.
1:30:50 Wes Larson? Yeah, yeah.
1:30:52 Jeff Larson? Straight down your throat?
1:30:53 Speaker 04 And then I just, I have to have a little extra.
1:30:57 Jeff Larson? Like it's water?
1:30:58 Speaker 04 To make sure that it's working.
1:30:59 Wes Larson? A little bit more, yeah.
1:31:01 Jeff Larson? All right. I feel like you would have us, like you'd put it on a spoon and you'd have us like, hold the spoon of brown sugar in our mouth for thirty seconds.
1:31:11 Wes Larson? Hmm, I don't remember that.
1:31:12 Speaker 04 I don't know. I don't have a memory.
1:31:14 Wes Larson? That might have been when we got Tabasco sauce for swearing.
1:31:17 Speaker 04 I didn't do that.
1:31:18 Wes Larson? Dad did it once to me.
1:31:19 Speaker 04 Okay, I didn't though.
1:31:20 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:31:21 Speaker 04 Um, Jeff, I have a question for you. Did you just make up those questions or were they real questions?
1:31:27 Jeff Larson? They're real questions. I put names to them.
1:31:30 Speaker 04 Okay, I know, but you could have made them. You should just be human.
1:31:33 Wes Larson? Mike, why'd you show me this statue? Cause I hate it. No, dude, you like
1:31:37 Jeff Larson? His hair is good.
1:31:39 Wes Larson? Abraham Lincoln deserves to be remembered as He looks like an Abercrombie model. It's so weird. All right. I regret nothing. That's it for the episode. Um, mom.
1:31:51 Speaker 04 Mm hmm.
1:31:52 Wes Larson? Everyone looks forward to this episode, including the three of us. I think it's really fun every year. It's our, you're our only annual guest.
1:32:01 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:32:01 Wes Larson? And I think there's a reason for that. And happy Mother's Day.
1:32:05 Speaker 04 Thanks and thanks for inviting me. I do have one other thing with, um, Mike. Cause we, I like to mention Mike's mom.
1:32:13 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:32:13 Speaker 04 Um, so Michael is thinking, um, about your mom.
1:32:17 Wes Larson? It's been five years.
1:32:19 Speaker 04 I think, I know, but Mike.
1:32:21 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:32:21 Speaker 04 I think it'd be good advice for you to just say, um, about people appreciating their mom. Like what, what would you, like, what would you, what's one thing you would want to do with your mom? Like if she was around, what's one thing you missed doing with your mom?
1:32:38 Mike Smith? Reading with her or at least reading the same thing as her.
1:32:42 Wes Larson? She would have loved the Meg series.
1:32:43 Mike Smith? Oh, she would.
1:32:47 Jeff Larson? She probably would have pretended she liked it just because she's reading with you.
1:32:51 Mike Smith? She would have, like, no question in my mind. She would have, like, looked for all the positives and really been excited and had like a whole notebook. But every time I'm reading anything, especially classic literature, it was just always so fun to be able to share a love of Jane Austen, or, you know, we read Middlemarch once together and that was just amazing, incredible book. But that's the one thing, um, just finding something to enjoy together, you know, it doesn't have to be books. It can be, I know Wes and you, you watch The Challenger, whatever, every week.
1:33:26 Wes Larson? Survivor.
1:33:26 Mike Smith? Survivor, stuff like that. And I just think that that's such a healthy, if possible, you know?
1:33:31 Wes Larson? Yeah.
1:33:31 Mike Smith? And reading is something you can do long distance and I just miss being able to share
1:33:38 Mike Smith? fun things, you know, it's not like the important mother-son talks. Like we had a plenty of those and we knew that the love was there, you know? We had left nothing on the table as far as like big, important life lessons that she instilled in me. Or at least, you know, I'm sure she had plenty more, but it's the little. Moment to moment interactions that, you know.
1:34:00 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:34:00 Mike Smith? I started to understand a little too late in my life that she was also like a real person with things that she liked, you know?
1:34:07 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:34:08 Mike Smith? And she wasn't just a mother, you know, she had her own whole life and a slew of interests and stuff that I wish I would have been able to appreciate a little more alongside her.
1:34:19 Speaker 04 Right.
1:34:19 Mike Smith? Yeah.
1:34:20 Speaker 04 That's kind of, I, um, I really, I've been thinking about that, Mike, and I really appreciate that. I've been thinking about my mom too, and I just so wish I knew how she felt at my age more, you know, because I was younger and I didn't really care then.
1:34:36 Mike Smith? Yeah.
1:34:36 Speaker 04 But now I'm like, well, how'd she feel when she was 66? Like, what, did this bug her? Like, things that bug me, things like that. But anyways, so.
1:34:46 Jeff Larson? You're 66?
1:34:47 Speaker 04 People that have their moms should just.
1:34:49 Mike Smith? Give them a hug, give them a call.
1:34:50 Speaker 04 Yep.
1:34:51 Mike Smith? You think she was one of those?
1:34:52 Jeff Larson? I thought you were like 86.
1:34:54 Speaker 04 No, I, I thought I was 67.
1:34:58 Speaker 04 And then my granddaughter had to tell me I was 66.
1:35:01 Jeff Larson? That's funny. You forgot, your granddaughter knew?
1:35:04 Speaker 04 Ellie, yeah, Ellie's like, you're not 67, you're 66.
1:35:07 Jeff Larson? That's really funny.
1:35:09 Mike Smith? Man, six, seven would have been a fun age, though.
1:35:12 Speaker 04 Next year.
1:35:14 Jeff Larson? We'll have to have that category next year.
1:35:18 Mike Smith? We gotta bring that one back.
1:35:19 Jeff Larson? Mom?
1:35:19 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:35:20 Jeff Larson? Did you hear, you hear foxes outside your room a lot, right?
1:35:23 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:35:24 Jeff Larson? What, what noise do they make?
1:35:26 Speaker 04 Oh, they have like a chirping part.
1:35:28 Jeff Larson? Let's hear it.
1:35:29 Mike Smith? Let's hear it.
1:35:29 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:35:33 Mike Smith? It's not bad.
1:35:34 Jeff Larson? Yeah.
1:35:35 Mike Smith? Sometimes they sound like someone like getting killed.
1:35:38 Speaker 04 Yeah, they do.
1:35:39 Mike Smith? Like, we think we hear screams sometimes and then it go out and it's foxes.
1:35:42 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:35:42 Mike Smith? Yeah.
1:35:43 Speaker 04 It's weird.
1:35:43 Mike Smith? All right.
1:35:44 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:35:45 Mike Smith? I think that's it.
1:35:45 Speaker 04 Thanks, everybody.
1:35:46 Mike Smith? Yeah, thank you. Uh, thanks to all the moms out there, even those spider moms.
1:35:50 Speaker 04 Yeah, we loved hearing about the moms.
1:35:52 Mike Smith? Yeah.
1:35:53 Jeff Larson? Yep.
1:35:53 Mike Smith? Yep.
1:35:54 Jeff Larson? Yep. We love, we love.
1:35:56 Mike Smith? We love moms.
1:35:57 Jeff Larson? Moms, we love all the moms out there.
1:35:59 Mike Smith? Yeah.
1:36:00 Jeff Larson? Bad moms especially.
1:36:02 Speaker 04 And all the listeners that have been listening, thanks for sticking with the podcast. It's so nice when we get emails that they've been listening for a long time.
1:36:10 Mike Smith? Yeah, it is nice.
1:36:12 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:36:13 Jeff Larson? Even when we tell the same story a couple times.
1:36:16 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:36:18 Mike Smith? All right, we'll see you later.
1:36:19 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:36:20 Jeff Larson? Love you.
1:36:20 Mike Smith? See ya.
1:36:21 Speaker 04 Love you. Bye.
1:36:24 Wes Larson? Good job, Mom.
1:36:25 Jeff Larson? Woo, woo! That's good, right?
1:36:27 Speaker 04 Yeah, that's good.
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