Emma Chamberlain - Part 1 (FBF)

This week, Father Cooper is joined by Emma Chamberlain for her first official in person sit down interview. The pair discuss Emma’s high school days and cover everything from being an only child, her parents divorce, and ultimately her decision to drop out and pursue Youtube full time (OH and they also discuss the classic high school dick pic). Alex and Emma open up and reflect on the fears associated with being a content creator... Who am I outside of the content I post? Is there any room for mistake? Can I do this forever? In response to all of this, Alex then asks Emma, “Have you ever considered just quitting?”. Daddy Gang, enjoy part one of this two part interview with Emma Chamberlain.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Alex Cooper?

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• 0:44Alex Cooper?

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• 1:12Speaker 01

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• 1:43Alex Cooper?

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• 2:27Speaker 03

  What is up daddy gang? It is your founding father Alex Cooper with Call Her Daddy.

• 2:35Alex Cooper?

  Are we ready? When is the last time you did an interview?

• 2:38Speaker 04

  Oh my god, not ever face to face. I don't think I've ever done an interview face to face.

• 2:43Alex Cooper?

  Okay, well, let's start. Emma Chamberlain.

• 2:46Speaker 04

  Hi Alex Coopy.

• 2:47Alex Cooper?

  Welcome to Call Her Daddy. Coopy, oh my god, we're on like, um, nickname terms. Emma, welcome to Call Her Daddy.

• 2:53Speaker 04

  Thank you so much.

• 2:54Alex Cooper?

  So my first question for you is, you don't do interviews.

• 2:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:58Alex Cooper?

  Why are you here?

• 2:59Speaker 04

  Okay, well, number one, Alex.

• 3:02Alex Cooper?

  Yes.

• 3:02Speaker 04

  I'm a big fan. Like, I've, I've been a big fan of you forever. I don't know how, like, I wish I knew my discovery story of you.

• 3:10Alex Cooper?

  The clock, clock.

• 3:10Speaker 04

  Honestly...

• 3:11Alex Cooper?

  You're like, don't, don't drag me like that.

• 3:13Speaker 04

  I did, let me tell you. Like, I, I found you when things were very sexual.

• 3:19Alex Cooper?

  Yeah.

• 3:19Speaker 04

  And I learned a lot.

• 3:21Alex Cooper?

  Wow, that makes me so happy.

• 3:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, so like, that's how I found you. I think I, I was really just like, looking for advice on how to be crazy. But then, like, in turn, I fell in love with you.

• 3:33Alex Cooper?

  Oh my god, so we're just, this is a big love fest.

• 3:35Speaker 04

  It's such a love story.

• 3:36Alex Cooper?

  We're about to just talk about how we're in love with each other.

• 3:38Speaker 04

  I know.

• 3:46Alex Cooper?

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Airbnb. Every year, my family takes a big trip together around the holidays. And right now, we're in the middle of planning it. So naturally, our family group chat has become everyone sending different homes that they found on Airbnb. And they're like, what about this one? What about this one? Because my family has a lot of opinions about what we need. Obviously, the house has to be big enough to fit all of us, especially now with the baby. My mom wants a huge kitchen because she is already planning out Christmas dinner. My sister wants to be close enough to town so she can walk around and she can explore all the different shops. And personally, I always love to have a really good hot tub.

• 4:30Alex Cooper?

  I feel like once November hits, everyone's either just like booking holiday travel or trying to coordinate where they're gonna... End up and even though it's so fun, it can kind of be a lot. And that is why Airbnb has become my family's favorite way to travel. Everyone has different needs around the holidays, but Airbnb makes it easy to book a spot. It kind of just checks all of your boxes. Having one place where everyone can hang and cook and slow down. It just makes the trip that much more special. So before the holiday rush really kicks in, find a place where everyone can actually gather, relax and make memories together with Airbnb. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by SoFi, the everything app for smarter money. If your money is scattered across five different apps you never open,

• 5:15Alex Cooper?

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• 5:58Alex Cooper?

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• 6:41Alex Cooper?

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• 7:23Alex Cooper?

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• 7:43Alex Cooper?

  Quickly to give people context that are listening of our story, I was thinking about this the other day. So Emma and I have, um, we're like represented by the same agency. And this was like, right when I started the show, like the single father era of taking the show on by myself. And I was starting to have guests on and I remember my agent was like, do you want to meet with Emma Chamberlain? And I'm like, absolutely. Sure. We get on Zoom and we Zoom for like an hour and a half and we wouldn't shut the fuck up. And we won't talk about what we were talking about because it was like,

• 8:13Speaker 04

  Everything.

• 8:14Alex Cooper?

  Our publicists just kept being like, this is off the record. This is off the record. This is off the record. Emma, don't tell her that. I'm like, I'm not going to go say anything, but so we just start talking. But it was a weird moment because I think my brand was still very sexual.

• 8:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:27Alex Cooper?

  So we said we were going to potentially have like a collaboration. You were going to come on. It never ended up happening. It just wasn't the right time. Then the next time we saw each other was New York Fashion Week.

• 8:37Speaker 04

  I, I think that's what really like, I was like, I don't even care what we talk about. Like I need to do this because we just clicked so well and we just like talked about so much random shit and like, We just clicked so well.

• 8:51Alex Cooper?

  Yeah, we were. It was kind of funny because we were, to give people again context, it was like a 10-person dinner party and Emma and I are in the corner while I was eating bread. You weren't because you were about to go to the Met Gala.

• 9:01Speaker 04

  I'm like getting a facial done and getting my toes done while I'm at the table.

• 9:05Alex Cooper?

  And we just were talking by ourselves the entire time. It was just about like life and the industry and how it's affected us. And it was like, I think that was when we're like, maybe we are eventually now ready to sit down and just converse because both of our brands have evolved.

• 9:21Speaker 04

  Absolutely.

• 9:22Alex Cooper?

  And it's time.

• 9:23Speaker 04

  Well, I think it was one of those things where, you know, I have been on the internet for so long that people know me as a teenager.

• 9:31Alex Cooper?

  Yes.

• 9:31Speaker 04

  And I'm 20. I'm about to be 21, which is still literally like a child. Like I still am like prepubescent. Like I know I'm 21, but whatever, or almost 21. But I've been really trying to grow like in the public eye in a way because I'm, I can't stay a teenager in everybody's mind forever. But I think I needed to do some of that work on my own before I came on here and was like, let's talk about big girl stuff.

• 10:00Alex Cooper?

  You're like, so the Gluckluck? And I'm like, Emma.

• 10:03Speaker 04

  The first time I tried the Gluckluck was a year ago and you guys won't believe what happened.

• 10:09Alex Cooper?

  Impeccable result. No, it's true.

• 10:11Speaker 04

  I almost got married six times.

• 10:14Alex Cooper?

  That is helpful to hear you say, and we're going to get into that, like the evolution of you and then the evolution also of your brand because those are two different things. And I think as creators, like in a great way, I think people have started to kind of peel back the layer and show people on the internet like what it is like to have an online persona versus like what is actually who you are versus that persona.

• 10:34Speaker 04

  Absolutely.

• 10:36Alex Cooper?

  Here we go. Just like I usually do in every Caller Daddy episode, we're going all the way back.

• 10:40Speaker 04

  Go all the way back.

• 10:41Alex Cooper?

  Where did you grow up?

• 10:43Speaker 04

  So I grew up in San Bruno, California, which is actually where YouTube headquarters is, which is ironic, a little bit of foreshadowing. I grew up with my parents. I was an only child and when I was five.

• 10:58Alex Cooper?

  We're like already getting into my drama.

• 11:00Speaker 04

  No, um, when I was five, my parents got divorced and my mom moved like 20 minutes away from my dad. And that was actually not a super bad experience because I was so young that I just didn't really know any better. I was definitely a really bored kid because I was an only child and like my parents were both like fully working parents and so I had a lot of time by myself. And I was very bored a lot of the time, which I think is good. In retrospect, I think it was good because it made me a lot more curious, I would say, because I didn't have a lot of distractions. You know, it's the Silicon Valley, it's a big tech area and a lot of kids there are super smart and there's this

• 11:43Speaker 04

  crazy pressure to go to a really good college, especially Stanford is like, you know, the big school there that everybody tries to go to. And there's also a lot of wealthy families too. And like, so a lot of people assume that if you live there, you're wealthy, but that was not the case for me and my family at all. But a lot of people there are very wealthy. There's like a very big gap, I would say between, it's like very, very, very wealthy and then like very like lower middle class. And like definitely an in-between for sure, but not as much an in-between. It felt like there was a very stark difference. But I, I, you know, my dad's an artist. So like I felt more on the you know, lower middle class side of it, which was tough. But.

• 12:29Alex Cooper?

  Yeah. Did you feel like your family didn't fit in?

• 12:31Speaker 04

  For sure. We're living in a one-bedroom apartment and all my friends at school are living in these massive mansions. It was tough socially, I would say. I didn't want to have people over, that's for sure.

• 12:43Alex Cooper?

  So your parents are in some of your content.

• 12:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:45Alex Cooper?

  They seem very chill. How do you describe your parents?

• 12:49Speaker 04

  So we'll start with my dad. My dad is very open-minded and creative, but also very wise. Dad, this is, you know, this boy is the love of my life. And he's like, Emma, that dude's of the, that's the worst dude I've ever met. Like he's

• 13:05Alex Cooper?

  You're like, really?

• 13:06Speaker 04

  I'm like, Dad, what the fuck?

• 13:08Alex Cooper?

  Like, he's incredible, Dad.

• 13:10Speaker 04

  I'm like, but he's so hot, Dad. What are you talking about? No, but he like, he's very open-minded and very sweet and very like creative and you know, not super controlling or super pushy or anything like that. But he also is opinionated because he has a lot of knowledge and wisdom about things. So he's Not sweet and creative in the way that makes him a pushover. He'll tell me what he thinks. But he also gives me the freedom to like make the mistakes and he's always done that. So, and he never judges me. But a very, very cool man. The coolest person I know. I mean, he like paints paintings and serfs every day and like that's his job is painting paintings and selling them and like

• 13:55Speaker 04

  started making YouTube videos before I did. Like he's very cool, right? My mom is...

• 14:02Speaker 04

  How do I describe my mom? She's like one of the girls, you know what I mean? She's very...

• 14:09Speaker 04

  Lovable. I tell her everything. Like everything and I have no hesitation. Like she knows everything I've ever done in my whole life.

• 14:18Alex Cooper?

  Got it.

• 14:18Speaker 04

  Um, so I'm very, very close with her, but we're, we're more like sisters, I would say. Like, you know, we used to butt heads a lot when I was growing up and you know, cause she's picky, she's very like, like to keep the house clean and like set things folded a certain way. And she's very particular about things like that, very meticulous woman about everything that she does, which is a very admirable quality, but when you're growing up and you know, you don't know how to fold a blanket properly, like it can cause some problems.

• 14:44Alex Cooper?

  Absolutely.

• 14:45Speaker 04

  But no, we, at the end of the day, we're very close and even when we do fight like literal sisters, like she's always there.

• 14:53Alex Cooper?

  Yeah.

• 14:53Speaker 04

  I, I'm really lucky that, you know, my parents have always been very

• 15:01Speaker 04

  not like traditional parents, like they're very sibling-like.

• 15:06Alex Cooper?

  Okay.

• 15:07Speaker 04

  And I think it's because they didn't even consider themselves to be the type to be parents ever. And so they had me because they wanted to, but they were like, we don't fit the parent mold, so we're just gonna do it in our own way. And it's been great.

• 15:22Alex Cooper?

  I know you said like it, you didn't know any different, but do you now looking back, like how did your parents divorce affect you?

• 15:29Speaker 04

  Well... You know, I think in one, in one way, and this is no one's fault, right? Like, I'm grateful for their divorce, and I'll say that before I like go in and, you know, it was, number one, what was best for them and for their happiness. Number two, like, I never saw them fight, I never saw them argue. They divorced before it could ever become traumatizing in that way for me, and that's really mature, and also, they're still friends, and they talk all the time. I mean, I'm really lucky in that way, too, like, they get along great. Like, they talk all the time, and, and they're so supportive of one another. So, i- it's not been a negative thing in that way.

• 16:12Speaker 04

  But I will say that, for one, not having a relationship to look up to when you're growing up does become a little bit jarring when you're older, and you're like, okay, I'm in my first relationship, what is this supposed to look like? I don't know, I've never seen it.

• 16:30Alex Cooper?

  Did you wish you had had siblings?

• 16:31Speaker 04

  You know, no, because again, like, my relationship with my parents was so close because it wasn't, there was nothing in the way of it, right? Like, each parent was not in the way of my relationship with the other parent, and also, I didn't have a sibling in the way of my relationship with my parents. And, listen, I think it could have been really fun to have a sibling. I don't know, I'll never know, right? But, I liked the friendship I was able to develop with my parents, and the closeness, and I don't think I would have had that if I had a sibling.

• 17:05Alex Cooper?

  What do you remember about signing up for your first social media account?

• 17:10Speaker 04

  I had two older cousins, well, I have two older cousins. They're three years older than me, and they were like my idols, you know, growing up. And, they got Snapchat, and they're like, "Emma, babe, it's time to download Snapchat on the iPod Touch," and I was like, "You got it, girls, let's go." And so, I downloaded Snapchat, and, you know, we would just send each other silly stuff back and forth. Um, pretty soon after that, Instagram came out, and I was like, "All right, here we go." So, I downloaded that, too. I think my cousins told me to download that too. And my first post was a picture of a mini bag of Cheez-Its with like some crazy ass filter on top of it. And I think my caption was something like crunchy yum. Like what the?

• 17:54Alex Cooper?

  Thinking back to like the first like couple, like the first year of Instagram, we would have like borders on our photos and like disgusting filters.

• 18:02Speaker 04

  I know.

• 18:03Alex Cooper?

  You would take a picture of like your shoe.

• 18:05Speaker 04

  And you'd be like.

• 18:05Alex Cooper?

  An extension cord.

• 18:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:07Alex Cooper?

  And be like, life's long. And you're like, what am I saying?

• 18:10Speaker 04

  It was.

• 18:11Alex Cooper?

  Dumb shit.

• 18:11Speaker 04

  So weird. Like I would, I would do anything to be able to find my old Instagram.

• 18:19Alex Cooper?

  I don't know if I would.

• 18:21Speaker 04

  No, I would.

• 18:21Alex Cooper?

  I'm like traumatized. I'm like, what the fuck was I posting? Cause I was like a little older and I was like trying to be cool.

• 18:26Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 18:27Alex Cooper?

  With the cute selfies.

• 18:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:28Alex Cooper?

  And those were not cute selfies.

• 18:29Speaker 04

  Those were scary and spooky.

• 18:31Alex Cooper?

  What did your, did your parents have any rules or guidelines when you like first started on Snapchat and Instagram? Or did they just kind of let you do whatever you wanted?

• 18:39Speaker 04

  Honestly, they didn't care.

• 18:42Alex Cooper?

  Okay.

• 18:43Speaker 04

  Like really just never brought it up. Like they didn't care.

• 18:50Alex Cooper?

  Cause were you getting in trouble as a kid? Like, were you a good kid or?

• 18:53Speaker 04

  I was a really good kid. I had, because of my anxiety as a kid, I think I had a really strong conscience. Which is good. You know what I mean? I never did anything bad without my parents finding out about it 24 hours later.

• 19:13Alex Cooper?

  Got it.

• 19:14Speaker 04

  So they knew that I would tell them. Like if I did something wrong, my conscience would force me to report it back to them.

• 19:20Alex Cooper?

  Got it.

• 19:21Speaker 04

  I don't know what that stems from. I don't know why that is, but I was very transparent with them. And so when it came to things like social media, they were like.

• 19:33Alex Cooper?

  She's not gonna do shit.

• 19:35Speaker 04

  She's just not a bad kid. Like she's just not gonna do bad shit on there. And, and I didn't. Because I just didn't even know how to do bad stuff. I'm like, I, I like didn't know what bad stuff was.

• 19:47Alex Cooper?

  Right.

• 19:48Speaker 04

  Uh, I did have a kick. That just reminded me, I had a kick that I used for. Like, just kids at school, messaging kids at school.

• 19:56Alex Cooper?

  I forgot.

• 19:57Speaker 04

  And then I would get like dick pics and kick and then I got super scared, like so fucking scared.

• 20:01Alex Cooper?

  Was that the first time you saw a penis?

• 20:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:03Alex Cooper?

  Terrifying.

• 20:04Speaker 04

  Oh, I was so fucking gr- I was like, I don't actually think I am sexually attracted to anything.

• 20:08Alex Cooper?

  You're like, I do, I do not know what I like, but I don't like that.

• 20:12Speaker 04

  I don't like that, and so like, who knows what's next?

• 20:15Alex Cooper?

  Isn't that so sad that like, when you, if you get a dick pic and that's the first penis you see, like, you're like not attracted to it. Like, I was terrified. It makes you scared.

• 20:24Speaker 04

  I was scared of penises until probably like, I was 16.

• 20:29Alex Cooper?

  Okay.

• 20:29Speaker 04

  Like, seriously, like, I was like, not scared of them, but I was like, that is such a for- like, it was so alien to me.

• 20:37Alex Cooper?

  Yeah.

• 20:37Speaker 04

  Cause I didn't have siblings, so it's not like I had a little brother where like, I like saw him growing up and like I saw a boy like exist. I didn't have a lot of guy friends, like, so, to me, like, a penis, I was like, I, I can't, I don't know what that is. Like, it scared me.

• 21:04Alex Cooper?

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• 21:45Alex Cooper?

  Get started today at sofi.com/callherdaddy. SoFi, get your money right. This is a paid advertisement by SoFi Technologies and is not intended to be financial advice. Daddy gang, did you know the average person has to send out 51 resumes just to?

• 22:03Alex Cooper?

  Try to land a job. It is insane and it's a lot of work, but honestly, I believe that, right? I remember when I got my first job out of college, I literally spent months applying and applying and applying and then applying. And the worst part is you can spend all this time finding the right role, fixing your resume, writing the application, and then you might not even hear back, right? And it is so frustrating because you're like, okay, I know I would be so great for this job, but how do I actually get them to even notice me? That is where ZipRecruiter comes in, my friends. Okay, ZipRecruiter matches you up with the right job in minutes and their

• 22:45Alex Cooper?

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• 23:24Speaker 04

  Same.

• 23:25Alex Cooper?

  Okay, yeah, because I was gonna ask you, I'm like, who were you idolizing and watching when you were growing up that you were obsessed with?

• 23:31Speaker 04

  Well, I have to give a few from the years.

• 23:35Alex Cooper?

  Give it.

• 23:36Speaker 04

  Okay. My first YouTube obsession was Fred. Do you remember Fred?

• 23:41Alex Cooper?

  Oh, my iconic.

• 23:43Speaker 04

  Iconic.

• 23:45Alex Cooper?

  I completely forgot about that.

• 23:46Speaker 04

  Well, I like got on YouTube super young too, because like, you know, my dad was into YouTube. He was posting singing covers on YouTube when it first came out. And so he found out about it and was like, Emma, this is great. And we didn't have cable. So he was like, here you go, little one. You know, you don't get cable, but you do get this, babe. Enjoy.

• 24:03Alex Cooper?

  It's a pretty good trade.

• 24:04Speaker 04

  No, it was great. I loved it. So I got super into YouTube, super young, loved Fred. Then as I grew a little bit older, it was Jonas Brothers for me and Hannah Montana.

• 24:13Alex Cooper?

  Which one was your favorite?

• 24:14Speaker 04

  It kind of teetered between Nick and Joe. Sorry, Kevin. Honestly, Kevin's

• 24:21Alex Cooper?

  Kevin's coming back.

• 24:22Speaker 04

  No, Kevin's, he's a fucking angel. He deserved.

• 24:28Speaker 04

  He deserved more.

• 24:29Alex Cooper?

  He did, he did. Have you ever met them?

• 24:32Speaker 04

  I met, I've met Joe.

• 24:33Alex Cooper?

  I went to the Hannah Montana concert where it was like half Hannah Montana, half the Miley show. And I remember the Jonas Brothers opened for them and I remember my dad being like, "I promise you in like a year, everyone's gonna be obsessed with these guys." And I was like, "No." And then I was obsessed in a year. I was like, "I love them." And then when like Nick had the diabetes thing, we were all like devastated and everyone was obsessed and it was like,

• 24:54Speaker 04

  We were like, "We will do anything to save him."

• 24:57Alex Cooper?

  Anything. Like it was so dramatic.

• 24:59Speaker 04

  No, I know.

• 25:00Alex Cooper?

  Okay, so you had Jonas Brothers, you liked Miley.

• 25:02Speaker 04

  I loved Hannah Montana, Miley, all of that.

• 25:08Speaker 04

  Okay, I have to bring this up because it's so fucking funny.

• 25:10Alex Cooper?

  Okay.

• 25:10Speaker 04

  Um, but like, when I was like 12, 13 and Vine came out, I was a huge MAGCon girl.

• 25:16Alex Cooper?

  Okay, that's okay.

• 25:18Speaker 04

  No, it hurts.

• 25:19Alex Cooper?

  Wait, why? Explain.

• 25:20Speaker 04

  Why does it hurt?

• 25:21Alex Cooper?

  Yeah.

• 25:22Speaker 04

  Well, you know, let's, let's explain this for people who don't know what MAGCon is. Basically,

• 25:28Speaker 04

  there was a group of really hot, well, okay, it's creepy to say that they're hot now that I'm 20.

• 25:33Alex Cooper?

  No, it's okay.

• 25:33Speaker 04

  But you, but like at the time, I thought that they were the hottest guys I'd ever seen. They were on Vine doing absolutely nothing of substance.

• 25:40Alex Cooper?

  Right.

• 25:40Speaker 04

  Right? Which is fine, you know, like, that's not their fault.

• 25:43Alex Cooper?

  Right.

• 25:44Speaker 04

  Good for them. It's exactly like TikTok. It's basic, it was like a group of like really good-looking kids that were on Vine that were famous and they would like, go on tours and do meet and greets and like meet all their young girl fans and like, you know, do weird shit on stage that made no sense because they really, if you think about it, didn't necessarily have some sort of talent, except for actually Shawn Mendes was in MAGCon and he is like now Shawn Mendes. So like, it worked out for some of them. It was like Cameron Dallas and like Nash Grier, you know what I mean?

• 26:13Alex Cooper?

  I remember that, yes.

• 26:14Speaker 04

  I was obsessed with them. Like I-

• 26:18Speaker 04

  And they had YouTube channels and I would re-watch their videos like every night before bed and I was like, one day like I'll meet a MadCon boy and I'll be able to just date one of them and they'll fall in love with me and like I was

• 26:30Alex Cooper?

  I think that's how a lot of people felt though.

• 26:32Speaker 04

  Oh, for sure.

• 26:33Alex Cooper?

  Yeah.

• 26:33Speaker 04

  But I will say that is like my crushes as a young person were all consuming. Like they were not like cute little mini crushes like I was obsessed.

• 26:46Alex Cooper?

  Feening for them.

• 26:46Speaker 04

  I was feening. I don't, it was weird. Like in retrospect, I don't, it's so out of character.

• 26:52Alex Cooper?

  Right.

• 26:52Speaker 04

  Like people would not assume that of me, but I've always been somebody that like when I have a crush on some, I'm not creepy. I don't like stalk anybody, but it is all consuming for me.

• 27:01Alex Cooper?

  I get that because then you go spiral down. Like you watch every YouTube video and you watch every single possible thing that you consume of them, like interviews and everything.

• 27:09Speaker 04

  Everything.

• 27:09Alex Cooper?

  And then you're invested in their life.

• 27:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:11Alex Cooper?

  And they don't even know who you are.

• 27:12Speaker 04

  Nope.

• 27:12Alex Cooper?

  Well, now they probably do. Um, let's talk high school.

• 27:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:16Alex Cooper?

  You go to a private school.

• 27:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:18Alex Cooper?

  I've seen the videos. You're, you're wearing a plaid skirt, sort of plaid.

• 27:22Speaker 04

  It was, it was, I don't even fucking want to think about it. I-

• 27:26Alex Cooper?

  Yeah, describe your high school.

• 27:27Speaker 04

  So I had an interesting experience, uh, with high school because basically I was a really academically driven student.

• 27:39Alex Cooper?

  Okay.

• 27:39Speaker 04

  And so I was obsessed with the idea of going to a super prestigious college. And I was willing to do anything to get there. And so when it came time to choose what high school I was going to go to, the public schools in my area were not great. And I wanted to go to that. I wanted to go to a braggy, you know, super prestigious, like, you know, impressive school. And I was like, I can't get that if I go to these public schools. So I was like, mom and dad, I want to go to a private school. And I went and I toured this all-girls Catholic school that had a really great education. And I was like, you know, this could actually be good. I really liked-

• 28:25Speaker 04

  The environment when I toured the school. And I was able to get financial aid so that I could financially go there because I would not have been able to afford it otherwise. And so there I went. I went to all-girls Catholic school. Um, and I hated it after the first year. And I was like, I made a big fucking mistake and I haven't seen a boy in a long time and.

• 28:45Alex Cooper?

  You're like, now those dick pics on Kick are not.

• 28:47Speaker 04

  Suddenly I'm trying to fuck your back back into my kick to see those dick pics. I'm like, guys, anything.

• 28:54Alex Cooper?

  When you, so when you started high school, that's interesting to know, you did have college goals.

• 28:59Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 28:59Alex Cooper?

  Where did you want to go?

• 29:01Speaker 04

  I, my dream school was Columbia. Which was like, not gonna fucking happen. But like, you know, actually, I mean, I was a good student. Like, I don't know how I was a good student.

• 29:12Alex Cooper?

  Okay, why?

• 29:13Speaker 04

  But I like, just knew how to do school for whatever reason. And so, um, I got really good grades, like always above a four point oh, every year. I, listen, I don't fucking know how it's possible.

• 29:24Alex Cooper?

  Okay, it was flex.

• 29:26Speaker 04

  I was like, really just, I, and I don't think that school is a great measure of intelligence. I'll be the first one to say it. Um, because I'm a fucking idiot in a lot of areas. So like, whatever, but I was good at school. So I was like, I'm gonna use this and. You know, I wanted to go into the medical field, like I wanted to be an anesthesiologist.

• 29:46Alex Cooper?

  Wow.

• 29:47Speaker 04

  But like, on what basis? One time I had anesthesia when I had a surgery and the anesthesiologist. I, see, I can't even fucking pronounce the word of the.

• 29:57Alex Cooper?

  It's okay. No, it's, you sound good. That's, that's good.

• 29:58Speaker 04

  Whatever. Sounds good enough.

• 29:59Alex Cooper?

  Yeah, it is.

• 30:00Speaker 04

  I dropped out of high school, so it's fine that I don't know how to pronounce it. Okay? Like, I didn't finish my education, so you can't expect too much from me. Like, I got a surgery once and was like, oh, this job seems chill. And then I looked up how much they make a year and I was like, oh, this job's super chill.

• 30:12Alex Cooper?

  This is a good, this is a good chill vibe.

• 30:13Speaker 04

  I'm like, you have to go to school for like eleven years, but like, fuck it.

• 30:16Alex Cooper?

  Eventually, you'll get that check.

• 30:18Speaker 04

  Why not?

• 30:18Alex Cooper?

  When did you have your first kiss? Like, if you're not with boys, like, when did you have your first kiss?

• 30:22Speaker 04

  I had my first kiss freshman year on New Year's Eve.

• 30:27Alex Cooper?

  That's kinda cute.

• 30:29Speaker 04

  No.

• 30:29Alex Cooper?

  Oh.

• 30:30Speaker 04

  It was not cute.

• 30:31Alex Cooper?

  No.

• 30:31Speaker 04

  Actually, you know, in retrospect.

• 30:36Speaker 04

  It was fine. Like, it could have been a lot worse.

• 30:38Alex Cooper?

  Okay.

• 30:39Speaker 04

  But it was pretty bad.

• 30:40Alex Cooper?

  How did you meet the guy then, if you were at an all-girls school?

• 30:44Speaker 04

  Basically, the all-girls school had a corresponding all-boys school.

• 30:48Alex Cooper?

  Yep.

• 30:48Speaker 04

  Right?

• 30:49Alex Cooper?

  Classic.

• 30:49Speaker 04

  And so, we would kind of party with the boys from the all-boys school, and they had friends that they knew from middle school that were at other, like, co-ed schools, and then we knew other girls that went to other co-ed schools. So it kind of all, like, congealed. But I think that the thing that made it possible for the boys and girls to be together was the fact that both boy and girl schools were desperate for each other.

• 31:13Alex Cooper?

  Got it.

• 31:14Speaker 04

  You know what I mean?

• 31:15Alex Cooper?

  Yeah.

• 31:15Speaker 04

  So, and, and, you know, there was like a distinct, like, okay, this is the corresponding boy school. So it was like, we didn't see each other every day, but at football games, we'd see each other, and prom, and things like that. Anyway, I actually ended up kissing a guy from, like, a school that was probably thirty minutes away. Um, that, like, came to a New Year's party that we were throwing.

• 31:36Alex Cooper?

  Right.

• 31:37Speaker 04

  The two schools. And it was extremely set up.

• 31:40Alex Cooper?

  Hmm, those are the worst.

• 31:41Speaker 04

  You know, it was like, oh, he's outside waiting now.

• 31:43Alex Cooper?

  Oh!

• 31:45Speaker 04

  Okay, but you also have to like-

• 31:46Alex Cooper?

  That is so rough.

• 31:47Speaker 04

  Can we paint a picture? Like, I was a super late bloomer. I mean, I had, like, no boobs, like, I looked really young, like, it was like, I looked super young.

• 31:58Alex Cooper?

  Yeah.

• 31:59Speaker 04

  I always have. I even now look kind of young. A lot of people think I look young now. So, I felt super... Also, I never felt like mature enough for, like, this type of behavior.

• 32:13Alex Cooper?

  Yeah.

• 32:14Speaker 04

  You know what I mean? Because mentally, I felt mature enough, but physically, I didn't. I felt like I didn't fit the super feminine mold, right? Where you, like, have, like, boobs, and like, you know, you wear, like, a low top, and like, whatever. I could not participate in that. So, I felt so uncomfortable when it was time to do anything with boys, because I was like, I want to. And like, I mentally feel ready, but outwardly, I don't feel like I look ready.

• 32:42Alex Cooper?

  Yeah.

• 32:43Speaker 04

  And I feel insecure of my appearance.

• 32:49Speaker 04

  Even though I know that in my brain, like, I'm ready. And that I like, love boys. And in fact, am like, quite obsessed with boys. Like, but I didn't feel like I looked that way.

• 32:58Alex Cooper?

  What were you most insecure about, appearance-wise?

• 33:02Speaker 04

  I was super insecure about my boobs.

• 33:07Alex Cooper?

  Okay.

• 33:07Speaker 04

  Because, which now I'm like, I love having small boobs. Like, it's the best thing ever. Like, I don't care. But, you know, when I was younger, I like, didn't have any boobs. Like, it wasn't just like, oh, they're, no, they're flat. And, you know, guys in middle school used to give me a hard fucking time about that.

• 33:27Alex Cooper?

  So mean.

• 33:27Speaker 04

  Like, calling me, you know, like, a door, like, whatever, like, shit like that. And, um, which is fine. Like, whatever. I'm friends with those kids now. Like, I forgive.

• 33:36Alex Cooper?

  Okay.

• 33:37Speaker 04

  But, you know, it's good to, it's good to be forgiving. But, I also, like, didn't get my period until I was 16. And I felt like I wasn't a woman without it, you know? I was like...

• 34:01Alex Cooper?

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• 34:46Alex Cooper?

  so you can build off of that. This is my favorite aspect of shopping on Revolve. I'm like, oh, I really like this sweater. And then all of a sudden, they're like, shop the whole look. And then there's the pants, and then there's the purse, and then there's the shoes, and then there's the jewelry, and then there's the sunglasses, and I'm like... Oh my God, I just put all this in my car and I never, I didn't have to do much. It's really nice. Also, you can find the best brands, keep coming back to shop new arrivals daily and find inclusive sizing. Listen, hot girl energy, hot mom energy, whatever era you're in, Revolve has the outfit for it. Revolve has the hottest brands, new arrivals dropping daily and pieces you'll wear over and over again. Go to revolve.com/chd and use code C H D for 15% off your first order.

• 35:28Alex Cooper?

  This is a paid ad by BetterHelp. I always think it is so important to find time to take care of myself because I think self-care for me, a lot of times is getting some alone time, even if it's just go on a 10-minute walk outside. Self-care can obviously look different at different stages of life and the ways that we practice it often evolve over time. But one possible way to take care of yourself is through therapy. Therapy with BetterHelp, one of the leading online therapy platforms, can be a space to prioritize your mental health, reflect on where you are and check in with yourself. With over 30,000 therapists worldwide, BetterHelp has served millions of people globally. BetterHelp makes it easier to fit therapy into your routine with flexible ways to connect that work for different schedules

• 36:12Alex Cooper?

  and lifestyles. Plus, BetterHelp therapists have at least three years and 1,000 hours of hands-on experience and they hold required education, training and certifications. You can meet with a range of professionals from marriage and family therapists to social workers, counselors, you name it, they have it. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/daddy. That's better H E L P dot com slash daddy. You start making videos at one point in high school.

• 36:44Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 36:44Alex Cooper?

  And when I was growing up, I was familiar with having a camera in my face because my dad is in the TV industry.

• 36:52Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 36:53Alex Cooper?

  And so every single Christmas or birthday, there's cameras everywhere in my house. And so naturally, I knew I was the star. And I know that's cringe.

• 37:02Speaker 04

  No, it's not cringe though.

• 37:04Alex Cooper?

  But back then, I was like, Dad, cue the cam. Here I come.

• 37:07Speaker 04

  I'm meant to be right here.

• 37:09Alex Cooper?

  What do you remember about your early performances on a camera?

• 37:14Speaker 04

  Well, I was always really obsessed with YouTube because as I mentioned earlier, I didn't have cable. And so I watched a lot of YouTube. And when I was like in fifth grade, I tried to make a YouTube video on my iPad.

• 37:27Alex Cooper?

  I wish we could watch it.

• 37:27Speaker 04

  I wish we could watch it so bad. I need to find that iPad because it has so much good shit on it, but my cousins and I were constant, like we were constantly making little videos during family vacations, during, you know, holidays, like whatever, constantly making little videos. Like there were these iMovie trailer templates that you could use, so you could make like a movie trailer, but iMovie provided the templates, so all you had to do is like film little things and then they would plug it in for you. And so we would do those all the time. So I was familiar and comfortable in that sense where, you know, my cousins and I were always obsessed.

• 38:04Alex Cooper?

  There is a big difference between recording something and then pressing upload on that shit. Like you gotta have balls to press upload.

• 38:12Speaker 04

  For sure.

• 38:13Alex Cooper?

  What compelled you to press upload on your first YouTube video?

• 38:17Speaker 04

  Well, my first YouTube video ever, I was in fifth grade and I was like, I don't care.

• 38:23Speaker 04

  I didn't even want to like be famous. Like I never thought I could like get any like recognition from it. I'm, to this day, I've always like looked at fame as an impossible thing. So I was like, I'm not going to become famous from this. But I was like, even just like a few people commenting will make me feel good. Post. And then of course, like nothing happened and then I deleted it like a week later. That was my very first one. But then, you know, when I was 16 and I uploaded, I honestly just, I was in such a shitty spot that I was like, I have nothing to lose. Like I'm so depressed. I'm so unhappy. I like, I want to do something that makes me feel good and YouTube has always made me feel good.

• 39:07Speaker 04

  So I'm, I'm just gonna post on there.

• 39:11Alex Cooper?

  Did anyone from your high school, when they saw that, make fun of you or like say anything mean?

• 39:15Speaker 04

  Behind my back, yes, but never to my face. And I heard about people saying shit behind my back, but it's like...

• 39:22Alex Cooper?

  Like what were they saying?

• 39:23Speaker 04

  They were just like, does she really think anything's gonna come of that? Which is, you know what? No, listen, fair enough. Like if I would have seen...

• 39:33Speaker 04

  Someone from my high school posting on YouTube. I, number one, I would have said the same thing about them. I would have been like, really? Like, what's gonna? Come on, you guys. Like, it's not easy. But on the other hand, I was even saying that to myself. It wasn't like people were, it wasn't like I was posting YouTube videos being like, "I'm gonna make it big one day." You know? I was posting videos like, "This is just a hobby for me." And like, even if I just get a hundred subscribers, like, that's fun. Like, I, just a little community. And also, I enjoy making the videos. I enjoy the process of it. So, what happened after I pressed upload was more just like, "Well, at least it lives somewhere."

• 40:10Alex Cooper?

  When did you go viral?

• 40:11Speaker 04

  So, about...

• 40:15Speaker 04

  About like, two or three months after I started.

• 40:19Alex Cooper?

  That's crazy.

• 40:20Speaker 04

  It was, you know, and, and it was crazy, but I also think that a big reason for that was, I was uploading every fucking day. Like, I was uploading every single day during the summer, and by the end of the summer, I had like, something like fifty videos. And so, I had such a

• 40:40Speaker 04

  collection already, that it was easy, it didn't take as long, because I was grinding. I mean, every day, I was like, "I need to make a video every day." And then I ended up cutting it down, and I was like, "Three days a week." And then I cut it down, "Two days a week," and then I cut it down, "One day a week." But it was like, in the beginning, I started, and I was like, "I just wanna get as good at this as I can, as quickly as fucking possible." And then when that one video did really well, I was like... It was this video where I went to the dollar store, and I bought a bunch of like, random shit, and did like, a fake haul. Like, I was kinda like kidding around doing a haul. And I was really proud of the video. And it, like, after two weeks, it had like, half a million views or something. Or maybe it was like, it had a hundred thousand views after like... Yeah.

• 41:24Alex Cooper?

  And what it, when that was happening, what were you doing? Like, were you telling your parents? What were you all?

• 41:27Speaker 04

  My parents, my dad was like, super interested. He was like, I think you could really do something with this, actually. And I was like, okay, I don't. But thanks, Dad. I was like, Dad, like, that is like, one in a trillion. Like, why are we, why are we, let's not go there, because I'm just gonna get disappointed, you know? But he was like, I don't know, and I'm like, I think if you really get good at this, like, something could come of it. When, all of a sudden, like, so many people are watching. You're like, I actually cannot comprehend this number of people. I can't comprehend the fact that all of a sudden now I'm making money. You know, I can't comprehend any part of this.

• 42:06Speaker 04

  So I'm just gonna go robot mode and like, just, like, I, you know, you stop, at a certain point, you stop processing it.

• 42:15Alex Cooper?

  It's, it's a really weird thing to try to explain too, because it's not like you're a singer where you're like, filling a stadium for a concert. So you're like, making these things and pressing upload and then going to bed? And like, yet, it's crazy to see that number, but it still doesn't fully register that like, whoa, like, half a million people just watched that video?

• 42:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:33Alex Cooper?

  It feels strange.

• 42:35Speaker 04

  It's like a different metric in your brain.

• 42:36Alex Cooper?

  Yeah.

• 42:37Speaker 04

  Like, it's like, you're looking at it in a different, you're not looking at it as real people. But you're also not looking at it as just a number. There's this like, weird in-between way that your brain processes it.

• 42:49Alex Cooper?

  Yeah.

• 42:49Speaker 04

  But it's, it's kinda, I think I knew, subconsciously, that if I

• 42:57Speaker 04

  looked into it too deeply and I thought about it too deeply, that I'd psych myself out, fuck myself over, and ruin the whole thing. So I was like, I'm not gonna think, I'm just gonna just tunnel vision, keep going. And like, I did that up until

• 43:13Speaker 04

  probably the last three months. And it has been really uncomfortable. When, when you really like, wake up and realize like, oh shit, this is the situation. It's, like, I finally turned off my tunnel vision and it felt like, everything was like, that had been building for four years was now right in front of me and I had never looked at it. You know what I mean?

• 43:35Alex Cooper?

  Yes, and we're gonna get into that because, yes. But first.

• 43:41Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 43:42Alex Cooper?

  Why did you drop out of high school?

• 43:44Speaker 04

  So, the summer of sophomore year, I started my YouTube channel because I was depressed. And I was like, my dad was like, you need a hobby? I said, okay. So I started my channel and by the end of the summer, you know, I was making money. And I was like, and I'd never made money, you know? And I was like, oh shit, okay, this is actually pretty serious, you know? And I was loving it. And people at school were like respecting me because I had, they weren't being an asshole anymore. Some people still were, but you know, people were like, excited for me and I was excited and junior year, I was like, okay, I, this is the year I take hard classes. So I was taking like three AP classes.

• 44:31Speaker 04

  And long story short, it just was so, I couldn't do, schoolwork and YouTube, but I was like, obviously, schoolwork is more important. So I was like, okay, I'll just drop some of my classes and take easier classes. But then YouTube kept building and I was like,

• 44:50Speaker 04

  I already took all the, like, I'm just taking added shit to help me for college. And I started questioning, okay, am I even gonna go to college anyway? Now that this YouTube thing is going the way that it is, I'm making an income now. I can support myself now. All of a sudden, by the end of the summer, I was like, I actually could support myself. I don't, it changed everything and I was like, I don't think I need to be working this hard. Because I don't think I'm actually going to college anymore. I might try to, ride this out and then when this doesn't work out anymore, then I can go to college. Even if I'm like thirty, like who gives a fuck, you know? And so, I took one of those standardized tests and just left school. Like, I kept basically dropping classes more and more until it got to a point where I was like, I just don't need to be here.

• 45:35Speaker 04

  Cause I'm not, I'm, number one, I'm not learning anything that is necessary. It was all stuff that was only really necessary for college. I had already taken all of the classes that I needed to, that were like normal high school level. I was just doing added shit. What's the point of that? I was like, this is stupid. So. I was out of there.

• 45:55Alex Cooper?

  How did you tell your parents and how did they react?

• 45:58Speaker 04

  Honestly, it was kind of their idea. It was kind of like, it was not just my idea. I wasn't like, Mom and Dad, like, I wanna leave school. They were like, you're so miserable in school. You know. Well, actually, at first, we were thinking about homeschooling me.

• 46:18Alex Cooper?

  Interesting.

• 46:18Speaker 04

  So actually, that was the first idea. They were like, you... This is not, this structure's not working, right? And so, we toyed around with the idea of homeschooling me. But then, after doing more research, we were like, okay, actually, just, let's just cut it.

• 46:38Alex Cooper?

  Cut it.

• 46:38Speaker 04

  Because, in, in, I, you know, I know that, I, I don't recommend people drop out of school. And I think that my situation was very unique. Um, because I was fortunate enough to get all of my, like, general high school education out of the way in the first two years. And that's a really, like, again, like, it would've been irresponsible to leave if that had not been completed. And I, and I always, I actually have never said that out loud, I don't think, but I, I know it's kind of fun to be reckless and be like, I dropped out of school, like, fuck that, but it was... It wasn't this super irrational, super irresponsible. I could've gone straight to college from that point that I was at.

• 47:22Alex Cooper?

  Got it.

• 47:22Speaker 04

  You know, so like, I didn't need to... It, it wasn't fucking me over. I completed my high school credits. Like, I was done. You know what I'm saying? So...

• 47:33Alex Cooper?

  How did your friends react when you told them? Like, were you close with a lot of people in high school? Did you have a lot of friends?

• 47:39Speaker 04

  The first, uh, year and a half of high school, yes, but towards the end, no. I only really had one friend. And even, and she, like, knew everything about... Like, she knew about how school was, like, affecting me negatively and how I just was depressed, so like, I couldn't be social, you know, and I couldn't deal with the ebbs and flows of friendship. I just didn't have that in my in me. And so she understood that. And she was kind of kept up to date on, like, how things were evolving, but she, you know, she was like, she had other friends, like, she was, so she was just like, peace, you know, and everybody was just kind of like, peace. I really just disappeared one day, honestly.

• 48:23Alex Cooper?

  If you could change one thing about that time in your life, what would it be?

• 48:30Speaker 04

  Nothing.

• 48:32Speaker 04

  I, I really, you know, I have a lot of moments in my life that I look back at and cringe at, and I have a lot of moments that I regret, like for sure. And not regret, that's actually completely the wrong word. I have a lot of moments that I'm like, damn, I would do that so differently now. But I refuse to ever even think about how I would change things because every bad experience has just made me, me.

• 48:59Alex Cooper?

  Do you, have you ever been, had one of those moments, like a little jealous of that, like classic college experience you see on TikTok, people are at the frat parties, do you ever be like, okay?

• 49:08Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 49:09Alex Cooper?

  What, so you, do you, is it more about like the social aspect that you kind of wish you could partake in?

• 49:15Speaker 04

  I think the thing that I sometimes get a little bit upset about is like how quickly I had to grow up and it sounds so again, like just so like, Emma, shut the fuck up. But I don't think I realized when I left school and immediately started working, how there's no leeway for me anymore. You know what I mean? There was no room

• 49:43Speaker 04

  for being a kid anymore. Like, it was like, okay, no, you have to get your fucking act together. Because you're you're saying, you know, that you can make a living on your own and that you're gonna make this shit work and that you're gonna make it last and that, you know, moving to LA is a good idea and that being friends with other, you know, YouTubers is a good idea and you know, having to do your own laundry and do your own dishes and cook for yourself and taxes. Like, there's so many facets of it that you're like, oh shit, you know, I didn't realize that this came with this, you know? By quitting school and by just going straight into being technically self-employed,

• 50:26Speaker 04

  I was also saying that I could handle all those other things. My parents were very helpful with the technical stuff, but emotionally, you know, you, there's no way to prepare.

• 50:39Alex Cooper?

  College is basically four years of you to be able to fake act like an adult. You don't really have much responsibility, but you are on your own. And for you, it was like, oh wait, no, you actually do have responsibility. Cause if you don't keep uploading, like you don't have a job and you didn't apply to college. So like, where are we going? At 16 years old, you become famous on the internet. How did people start treating you differently?

• 51:06Speaker 04

  I would say at first, not much changed. It was really interesting because yes, I had a following on the internet that if you look at it, you know, like a hundred thousand subscribers, that's a fuck ton of subscribers, right? But in the grand scheme of the world, people didn't really, they're like, eh, we'll see you at a million. Like, you know, this is, yeah, whatever. My family was very skeptical, like my, my outer family. They were kind of like, what is going on? You know, and so they didn't treat me any different, but they were definitely just like curious. A lot of people were really curious. But I didn't really have any friends. So I didn't have any friends reacting to like what was happening to me.

• 51:47Alex Cooper?

  When you say you didn't have any friends, did you feel lonely?

• 51:53Speaker 04

  Yes, but I really wanted, once I started to, you know, turn YouTube into my job, I started to feel like I couldn't really relate to kids in my high school as well. And so I was like, you know, I would still hang out with those kids and we would have fun and like, that was fine, but there was a disconnect. And so I started looking to find people that were in this space that could be friends with me. And, and I ended up finding those friends and that was really awesome. So like, and we didn't live near each other, but I made quite a bit of friends on the internet that were doing the same thing. And it was nice because there was a mutual understanding and also

• 52:36Speaker 04

  there was no weirdness. There was no questions about it. There was just like a unspoken understanding that was very special at the time.

• 52:43Alex Cooper?

  There's always the moment when you start getting recognized in public.

• 52:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:47Alex Cooper?

  When do you remember like the first time you got recognized?

• 52:51Speaker 04

  So I go to Maine every summer with my family on vacation and I had like 6,000 subscribers when I went the summer of sophomore year, like 6,000 subscribers, okay? Which to me was like, oh my god, fuck all y'all.

• 53:07Alex Cooper?

  I'm popping off.

• 53:08Speaker 04

  I'm popping off. Y'all don't know me anymore. I'm different now. No, but um, so I'm I'm on vacation in Maine and this girl comes up to me and like asks me for a photo. Now I had 6,000 subscribers. I thought that this was a real interaction. My grandma set that up.

• 53:24Alex Cooper?

  No! You're like, oh my god, you guys, I just got asked for a picture. Your grandma?

• 53:30Speaker 04

  I'm already getting a big fucking head grandma. Do not play with me like this.

• 53:35Alex Cooper?

  Holy shit.

• 53:36Speaker 04

  No, but um, it was, it was sweet. It was sweet.

• 53:39Alex Cooper?

  That's actually so cute.

• 53:41Speaker 04

  It was hilarious.

• 53:42Alex Cooper?

  Eventually though, you did start to gain attention. How did you handle initially getting noticed in public and like the attention?

• 53:52Speaker 04

  At first, I've actually gone through phases with it. Like, in the very beginning, I was stoked. And I was like so, I was like, this is so awesome. Like it was, you know, my dream was coming true, right? It was so fucking cool. And it was, and then, you know, I, I've gone through ebbs and flows where it's made me a little anxious. Cause I, if I'm not in a good spot, like I'll get anxious about not being in a good spot mentally. And I'm like, is this showing? Like, I don't want, I started getting anxiety about giving these people like the best experience they could possibly have meeting me. And then that kind of got into my head. But I didn't have that thought in the very beginning. So that came in, into play later.

• 54:33Alex Cooper?

  It feels like no one hates you. And I'm gonna take notes right now because I'm a little bit more polarizing. Why do you think you're so lovable?

• 54:47Speaker 04

  I don't feel that I am. And I think that

• 54:49Alex Cooper?

  Really?

• 54:50Speaker 04

  I mean, I've gone through the wringer.

• 54:52Alex Cooper?

  Really? In what way?

• 54:55Speaker 04

  Well, so, there was like, there's been chunks of time throughout my experience on the internet where I've been like widely disliked. You know, whether people thought I was annoying or people like, or

• 55:10Speaker 04

  Like, i- it's interesting, like, there's just been periods of time when people have just not liked me and the general conversation around me has been negative. The thing that's really interesting about it is that I noticed this just from talking to other people in this space, a lot of people They're so hyper-focused on themselves, as they should be, we're human, right?

• 55:29Speaker 04

  So like, I perceive you and I'm like, you're, nobody fucking hates you, right? But see, you, because I'm not seeing people giving you shit, right? Whereas like, you're not seeing people give me shit. Everybody gets shit, and so, everybody, their own perception of their own career and like, general likeness is not right, right? It's skewed in a, in a negative direction for everybody individually. I look at

• 55:55Speaker 04

  any other personality on the internet, and unless they're like, genuinely just a bad fucking person, and everyone knows it, unless that's what's going on generally like, uh nobody's gonna see it, except for you.

• 56:12Alex Cooper?

  Yeah, like, it's almost like you, everyone ebbs and flows with hate and love

• 56:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:18Alex Cooper?

  if you're putting content out there.

• 56:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:20Alex Cooper?

  And, also, everyone's memory is so short on shit.

• 56:23Speaker 04

  People don't give a fuck.

• 56:25Alex Cooper?

  No, they act like they do because it's fun to like, get together in a group and be like, "Let's cancel this person", but then in a week, they're like, "Oh my god, like, you're doing this", and then they love you, and it just ebbs and flows, but that is a good point to say like, to hear from you saying like, you do get hate.

• 56:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:40Alex Cooper?

  To summarize, like, what do they hate you for?

• 56:43Speaker 04

  I mean, I would say that like, when I was a lot younger, I edited in like, a really like, fast-paced, like, a kind of you know, flashy way, and it was kind of like, and I thought it was like, funny and annoying, and that's why I liked it. I was like, I think this is just like, funny and entertaining. And like, it's not serious, like, whatever. But some people just found that annoying and were like, "Why the fuck do people wanna watch this?", which I totally get, cuz that's, not everybody was gonna like the style of editing and my personality. I was a loud kid, I was a, you know, outgoing kid, and people just thought I was annoying. So that was like, one thing. But then also, I think a big part of it was just like, when you become successful, people just are gonna nitpick just about anything.

• 57:25Alex Cooper?

  Yeah.

• 57:25Speaker 04

  And so, and I understood that. I was like, I get it, like, I'm-

• 57:30Speaker 04

  You know, I'm a target and I understand that. And I think some of it might have been from jealousy and some of it just might have been from like, people just simply not enjoying me. And like, that's fair, but it doesn't make it not hurt, you know? I can't blame people. I get the culture of the internet. But it still sucks. It does suck. You know? Well, it's hard because then you get all these good comments and then you see one and you're like, it sticks with you. And then it's like, wait, all these people are actually like telling you how great you are and they love the content, then you see one and then you're like, my whole day sucks. It's always that way. Yeah. You think you can, and you might have a good moment where you're like, oh, this shit doesn't bother me, but it always comes back. Is there anything that made you almost quit?

• 58:13Speaker 04

  I will say, there has been a lot of times where I've almost quit.

• 58:26Speaker 04

  So, this is Call Her Daddy. Yes, I have had sex, Alex. There's a lot of room to get fucked over when you're being friends with people in your industry and that's something that I really struggled with. This person's like profiting off of me in some way. I don't think that they actually care about me. And these like YouTubers who are maybe more established, they, I think that they knew that they could kinda... Push you around. Push me around a little bit, not only on camera but off. Like, you are using me, I can tell, fuck you. If I went and addressed every fucking rumor or every fake blah, blah, blah, blah, blah about me, you know, I wouldn't, that would be actually my full-time job.

• 59:08Speaker 04

  Like, I just feel so out of control of the public perception of me. I remember my ex-boyfriend, one of his friends was like, dude, like, she doesn't actually like you, like, she, I don't think she actually likes you, like, she's, I think she likes girls. And the psychological damage is quite, it is crazy.

• 59:34Alex Cooper?

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