MFM Minisode 424

This week’s hometowns include an MFM origin story and a petty family. Support this podcast by shopping our latest sponsor deals and promotions at this link: https://bit.ly/3UFCn1g. See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Karen Kilgariff?

  This is exactly right.

• 0:06Karen Kilgariff?

  This holiday season, celebrate the ones you know by heart with a gift that says it all.

• 0:10Georgia Hardstark?

  Because the best gifts don't just look beautiful, they mean something too.

• 0:14Karen Kilgariff?

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• 0:25Georgia Hardstark?

  Give a piece that says exactly what words can't.

• 0:28Karen Kilgariff?

  Pandora, more than a gift.

• 0:29Georgia Hardstark?

  Shop new styles in-store or online at pandora.net.

• 0:33Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye.

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• 1:20Georgia Hardstark?

  Hello.

• 1:22Karen Kilgariff?

  And welcome.

• 1:23Georgia Hardstark?

  To my favorite murder.

• 1:24Karen Kilgariff?

  The minisode.

• 1:25Georgia Hardstark?

  We read you your stories.

• 1:26Karen Kilgariff?

  You love it.

• 1:27Georgia Hardstark?

  We love it.

• 1:28Karen Kilgariff?

  You go first?

• 1:28Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay. This is called "Family Drama and My MFM Origin Story." Dear...

• 1:34Karen Kilgariff?

  I like the idea. Do we ask for MFM origin stories?

• 1:37Georgia Hardstark?

  No, I guess we should. Dear Karen, Georgia, kitty cats, and the rest of the team. I am not a day one listener, but my college epidemiology professor is. And in Epidemiology 315, she assigned us a project called "My Favorite Outbreak."

• 1:51Karen Kilgariff?

  Girl.

• 1:52Georgia Hardstark?

  I know.

• 1:54Karen Kilgariff?

  I'm so proud.

• 1:56Georgia Hardstark?

  This was 2018, question mark, and she introduced the project by saying you were her favorite podcast and we were going to research a pandemic and present it as a podcast. 2018? Yeah. Oh, before. We needed the who, what, when, where, and how of the outbreak and we would pull assignments randomly from a hat. Like, if I hadn't had college, it was gonna be like this. I know. I was gonna try it a little harder. It's the difference between like, good teachers and bad teachers. We're just like, I like learning. Totally. What did my group pull? The 1984 bioterrorism attack committed by followers of the Bhagshri, what is it? Bhag, Bhag? Bhagwan Sri Rajneesh. Bhagwan Shi Rajneesh. Sri Rajneesh? Bhagwan Sri Ranish. Rajneesh?

• 2:40Georgia Hardstark?

  Bhagwan Shi Rajneesh. No. I'm so sorry. I know, I get it, I get it. It's hard. Bhagwan Sri Rajneesh. Got it. By followers of Bhagwan Sri Rajneesh. That's close enough. You, yeah, that ending, you like, pulled it back? Phew, that's a hard one. You know that. Which you covered in episode 50. Can we please keep that in? The whole me trying to pronounce it? Sure. That's so funny. Oh, that was hard. I obviously can't fit all the details in this email, so people can find them there in episode 50. Thank you for doing. Really good research. Yeah. Meanwhile, I grew up in a religious household and as a child, I had an aunt that I would describe as, quote, "very cool."

• 3:24Georgia Hardstark?

  She lived in Manhattan, she worked in television, and then as a massage therapist. She always smelled like essential oils, studied film when she was in college, and at one point, she had a horse. I mean, that's all the trappings of a cool aunt. How did she check every box? Seriously. Truly. We have to get horses now. Yeah. To top it off, she traveled a lot, particularly to India, and always brought back jewelry, saris, and other trinkets. It was always the best when Aunt Holly, name changed, came back from India. Fast forward back to 2019, I've graduated with my degree in public health and after a brief stint in the psych ward, I'm on my way to New York City to study theology.

• 4:02Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes, girl.

• 4:03Georgia Hardstark?

  I loved just that little, just a-

• 4:05Karen Kilgariff?

  Got to dip in to maybe like, just hang out in a robe and smoke some cigarettes and take it easy.

• 4:10Georgia Hardstark?

  And don't explain it to us.

• 4:11Karen Kilgariff?

  You don't have to.

• 4:12Georgia Hardstark?

  We fucking get it.

• 4:12Karen Kilgariff?

  You owe no one any explanation.

• 4:14Georgia Hardstark?

  Absolutely not. Hang out with Aunt Holly and live in Harlem. She did bodywork in a center with a lot of different therapists and I attended workshops and listened in on their radio show and helped in the office. I got to meet some of her friends, go into meditations, and before you know it, I was in a retreat outside the city with followers of Osho, also known as Bhagwan Sri Rajneesh.

• 4:39Karen Kilgariff?

  Rajneesh.

• 4:40Georgia Hardstark?

  Rajneesh.

• 4:42Karen Kilgariff?

  The only reason I know that is because all through the early 80s, he was on the news every single night and because it was Oregon and they were like, "These people are taking over."

• 4:50Georgia Hardstark?

  That's right. I remember your story.

• 4:51Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 4:52Georgia Hardstark?

  Come to find out as a fully grown adult that my aunt wasn't just visiting India throughout my childhood, but studying meditation in Pune at the Osho International Meditation Resort. There she met her life partner and remains a follower of Osho to this day.

• 5:08Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh my God.

• 5:09Georgia Hardstark?

  If I didn't do the My Favorite Outbreak project, I wouldn't have known the details of the 1984 Salmonella outbreak when I was introduced to some of the group in 2019. My aunt maintains Osho is innocent and personally, I do vibe with some of the meditations. However, I'm quite distant from it all now. The Rajneesh and followers of Osho are still very much a thing and they have really snazzy meditation retreats with names like Mystic Rose. Then it says, "Don't be fooled though, because in one of them, all you do is cry for like three weeks."

• 5:38Karen Kilgariff?

  Done, I'm done. Easy.

• 5:40Georgia Hardstark?

  Flying colors. Anyways, thanks so much for reading and for all you do to highlight the lives and stories of victims. Stay sexy, listen to podcasts recommended by your professors, and don't eat from the Salmonella salad bar. V. V.

• 5:57Karen Kilgariff?

  I mean, that's the thing about people like that, though, is that like, of course, people vibe with the meditations. All of it is based on really

• 6:05Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 6:06Karen Kilgariff?

  good, like, scientific, like, breathing in a certain way

• 6:10Georgia Hardstark?

  Totally.

• 6:10Karen Kilgariff?

  helps you. Sitting and concentrating helps you, blah, blah, blah, whatever. So it's like, yeah, that's all

• 6:16Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, it works.

• 6:16Karen Kilgariff?

  so beneficial.

• 6:17Georgia Hardstark?

  Totally. Just like, he didn't invent it.

• 6:19Karen Kilgariff?

  Your aunt was in a cult. Oh, cool aunt in a cult. I mean.

• 6:24Georgia Hardstark?

  We got some work to do.

• 6:25Karen Kilgariff?

  Wait.

• 6:25Georgia Hardstark?

  Well, kind of in a cult already.

• 6:28Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, this is definitely cool. We started our own. That's the coolest aunt move of all time.

• 6:32Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, my God. That's a fun cult.

• 6:36Karen Kilgariff?

  It's a fun cult where we're kind of not really in charge.

• 6:38Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 6:40Karen Kilgariff?

  But wait, the fact that V used the descriptor snazzy is, that was my mom's descriptor for things when she was like, you can get like a snazzy blouse. Like, that was

• 6:52Georgia Hardstark?

  I love it.

• 6:53Karen Kilgariff?

  It's the funniest. I haven't heard it in years.

• 6:55Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, my God. No one says it anymore.

• 6:57Karen Kilgariff?

  Snazzy.

• 6:57Georgia Hardstark?

  Snazzy.

• 6:57Karen Kilgariff?

  Let's bring it back.

• 6:58Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay.

• 6:58Karen Kilgariff?

  On behalf of V and their aunt.

• 7:00Georgia Hardstark?

  And your mom.

• 7:01Karen Kilgariff?

  And my mother, who is always with us. All right. And speaking of which, the subject line of this email is stories from the golden age of parenting and landline phones.

• 7:10Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, dear.

• 7:11Karen Kilgariff?

  Hi, Karen in Georgia and all who love you.

• 7:13Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh.

• 7:15Karen Kilgariff?

  A longtime listener, but have never written in. You asked for stories of the kitchen phone and all its related trauma, so here you go.

• 7:22Georgia Hardstark?

  Love it.

• 7:22Karen Kilgariff?

  I was born the youngest of six kids with four older brothers and a sister who were all much older than me. Yes, I was a big oops. Four years after my dad's vasectomy, I've been told.

• 7:34Georgia Hardstark?

  Shut the fuck up. Can you get that DNA tested, girl?

• 7:41Georgia Hardstark?

  One guy that was like, I'm not ready to be done and slipped on by.

• 7:45Karen Kilgariff?

  He's like, I'm a fighter.

• 7:46Georgia Hardstark?

  Actually.

• 7:47Karen Kilgariff?

  Actually.

• 7:50Karen Kilgariff?

  Anyway, one kitchen phone for all those people, chaos to say the least. It is so, it is, was not that long ago and it is like the Stone Age where it's like, if you're on the phone, that means somebody else waiting for a call couldn't get a call.

• 8:04Georgia Hardstark?

  Absolutely. And you fucking, you talked as long as you could just to fuck with them.

• 8:09Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes. And these days, if you had to share a phone number with someone, could you imagine?

• 8:14Georgia Hardstark?

  When I have to hand Vince my phone so he can order what he wants off the food delivery app, I'm like, where's my phone? Where's my phone? I need my phone. Like, he has it for two minutes to order sushi and I can't fucking handle it.

• 8:23Karen Kilgariff?

  There's no worse feeling in the, in my world than when I'm like, I can't find my phone. I'm walking around looking for it forever and it is in my fucking hand. Okay, back to the email. Obviously.

• 8:36Georgia Hardstark?

  Do you ever do that when you're on the phone and then you're like, you're walking around, where's my phone? And you're on it, like having a phone call? Did you never make a fucking phone call?

• 8:44Karen Kilgariff?

  I'm like, listening to my sister talk, but I'm like, wait, I have to get my phone before I leave.

• 8:49Karen Kilgariff?

  Okay, we clearly drank a ton of caffeine before this episode. I had a, I had a cappuccino made for me in, in our kitchen. Okay. Obviously, dinnertime was not a good time for any of our friends to call, although I'm not sure how they were supposed to know we were eating. But if my parents' friends called during dinner, all good. We would wait at the table for a goddamn hour while my mom talked and we stared at our food. It's no wonder that my brothers tried to distract themselves by making me laugh. Because I sat underneath where my mother would be gabbing on the phone. If I start laughing, I got a big crack on the back of my head.

• 9:24Georgia Hardstark?

  No.

• 9:24Karen Kilgariff?

  And they got some big laughs themselves. Mission accomplished. But I digress. One thing I definitely remember was how my parents used that phone to call Joe when any of us were misbehaving. Joe was a vigilante of sorts, who apparently roamed around the burbs, picking up naughty kids and taking them away in his nasty pickup truck. This scared the shit out of all of us, although by the time I was of the age to get the calls made on my behalf, my older brothers weren't having it. They spilled the beans that Joe was fictional pretty early on. Anywho, after 10 years of therapy, much dysfunction and lots of life later, we can all now laugh at that ridiculously sadistic parenting technique.

• 10:06Karen Kilgariff?

  Haven't seen that one in the most recent parenting books, although it is 2025 out there, so you never know. It may make a comeback.

• 10:13Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh my god.

• 10:14Karen Kilgariff?

  Stay sexy and no matter what anyone says, thank god for cell phones. Lisa.

• 10:19Georgia Hardstark?

  My mom had one of those and she'd pick up the phone and like start ringing it to her ear and say she was gonna call whoever.

• 10:25Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 10:25Georgia Hardstark?

  And it.

• 10:26Karen Kilgariff?

  It worked.

• 10:26Georgia Hardstark?

  It worked.

• 10:27Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, that was like Adrian's one of the man is gonna see you. And she would say it scared to her own kids. So like she was scared too and it would, it was just like, Jesus, and she's like, have you ever had three kids under the age of eight in a restaurant, you know, at a table in Applebee's? And I'm like, no, you're right.

• 10:43Georgia Hardstark?

  You gotta do what you gotta do sometimes.

• 10:45Karen Kilgariff?

  You do.

• 10:47Georgia Hardstark?

  The holidays are coming, which means we'll all be spending more time away from home.

• 10:51Karen Kilgariff?

  Whether you're visiting family or doing something actually fun, you want to know your home is protected while you're away.

• 10:56Georgia Hardstark?

  That's why now is a good time to think about home security with SimpliSafe.

• 11:00Karen Kilgariff?

  Unlike traditional security systems that alert you after a break in starts, SimpliSafe is designed to help stop intruders before they get inside. These days, you're worried about your house, you're out of town, and then something comes up and you get to look on your phone and SimpliSafe is gonna show you not only the video of like, it's a raccoon at your front door, but also that they have staff that's sitting there, they already know, and if it was something different or worse, they would have already been on it.

• 11:26Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, I really think that's invaluable peace of mind that just like relying on your neighbors, paying attention is not going to give you. We've partnered with SimpliSafe to offer our listeners their biggest savings of the year, 70% off your new system with professional monitoring when you visit simplisafe.com/mfm.

• 11:43Karen Kilgariff?

  That's simplisafe.com/mfm and when you order, write in MFM at checkout and it tells them we sent you and it really helps the show.

• 11:50Georgia Hardstark?

  SimpliSafe, ahead of crime in real time.

• 11:53Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye. The most annoying thing about dinner is that you have to keep making it.

• 11:58Georgia Hardstark?

  And every single time you have to figure out what you're going to eat.

• 12:01Karen Kilgariff?

  It's time to take some of that work off your plate with Hungry Root.

• 12:04Georgia Hardstark?

  Hungry Root is like having your own personal shopper and nutritionist all wrapped into one. They'll take care of the weekly grocery shopping and recommend groceries and meals tailored to you. It's so nice having Hungry Root just take care of the thinking part of dinner because I swear, like every 10 minutes of my life is what's for dinner. I'm so sick of it. And so I love when you can just open your fridge and be like, okay, great, we have roasted chicken with fries. And broccoli from a Hungry Root or Wagyu ribeye steak with green goddess potatoes. Great. Let's go with that. I don't want to think about it. That sounds amazing and it's easy.

• 12:38Karen Kilgariff?

  It's easy and it's good for you. You're not just ordering another pizza. You're gonna love Hungry Root.

• 12:43Georgia Hardstark?

  For a love at a time, get 40% off your first order, plus get a free item in every box for life.

• 12:48Karen Kilgariff?

  Go to hungryroot.com/mfm and use code MFM.

• 12:52Georgia Hardstark?

  That's hungryroot.com/mfm, code MFM to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life.

• 12:59Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye.

• 13:03Georgia Hardstark?

  I really love this next one. I'm not gonna read you the subject line.

• 13:06Karen Kilgariff?

  Okay.

• 13:07Georgia Hardstark?

  Hello, friends. You asked for crazy wedding drama and do I have some telenovela level nonsense for you?

• 13:13Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes.

• 13:14Georgia Hardstark?

  My second attempt at marriage, first one is at least three separate emails, ended with an opportunity to embrace my entrepreneurial side and turn lemons into dough.

• 13:24Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes.

• 13:25Georgia Hardstark?

  I am a professional ballroom dancer and own a dance studio.

• 13:28Karen Kilgariff?

  Pause, please. What?

• 13:29Georgia Hardstark?

  Amazing.

• 13:30Karen Kilgariff?

  Professional.

• 13:31Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 13:32Karen Kilgariff?

  Do you know how hard that is?

• 13:33Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, to like make a living as a dancer.

• 13:35Karen Kilgariff?

  And it's just a hard, I started, I started watching Dancing with the Stars only because of Alona Mar and her partner Alan something or other. And they were having, they were trying to do this thing where it was almost like a love romance thing that I, that was so captivating on TikTok. It was the best, but it is so hard.

• 13:55Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah. And hard on your body and.

• 13:57Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes.

• 13:57Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah. Which is where I fell in love with my coworker and fiancee number two. I was very happy despite the red flags littering our conversations. And it says, in my defense, I was trying to be tolerant and he was super hot. And he found a non-refundable, all-inclusive wedding venue that we put a deposit down on. Five months before the wedding, he came home one night to tell me he isn't sure about the wedding. The next morning, he wasn't sure about our relationship. After he ended things a week later, I found out that he was already planning to move out of state to be with the new woman he met at a dance competition I didn't attend.

• 14:32Karen Kilgariff?

  I just don't understand.

• 14:36Karen Kilgariff?

  Why you meet that person,

• 14:37Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 14:38Karen Kilgariff?

  go with it and let the other person fucking know.

• 14:42Georgia Hardstark?

  Totally.

• 14:42Karen Kilgariff?

  Instead of like,

• 14:43Georgia Hardstark?

  Immediately.

• 14:44Karen Kilgariff?

  You're planning a wedding. Why would you go all the way in the other direction?

• 14:48Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, no, it's super fucked up. He leaves a couple of months later, assuming no financial responsibility for any part of our wedding. Then it says, or the Southern California rent he left me with. And I put on my capitalism thinking cap. I couldn't get a refund and was left with all the pieces of a great party. So I turned my wedding into a ballroom dance competition for a few local studios.

• 15:11Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes.

• 15:12Georgia Hardstark?

  Brilliant.

• 15:12Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes.

• 15:13Georgia Hardstark?

  I had the pleasure of telling several vendors about the change in plans. Wedding cake is now cupcakes. Dance playlist now is full of tangos and cha cha's. So many awkward phone calls and emails. I in no way covered the financial loss on that event because the wedding industry is a scam, but it certainly helped. However, the students loved the event so much. It has since become an annual tradition that grows every year. And this year is poised to be our largest yet.

• 15:40Karen Kilgariff?

  Can we host it? Let's emcee it, you and me.

• 15:42Georgia Hardstark?

  Can we be judges?

• 15:45Karen Kilgariff?

  And we go and we have to do a dance.

• 15:47Georgia Hardstark?

  We're to dance too.

• 15:50Georgia Hardstark?

  All caps, it's not a horrible reminder of my trauma lol.

• 15:56Georgia Hardstark?

  It was a bittersweet day that has been replaced annually with much better memories with much better people. I'm now planning wedding number three to a lovely man who is not in the dance industry.

• 16:06Karen Kilgariff?

  Good plan.

• 16:06Georgia Hardstark?

  He is a thoughtful, loving, intelligent person, and the cats loved him the most out of any of my past partners. Coincidence? I think you know the answer. Thanks for reading and stay sexy and don't date ballroom dancers. Kristen, Santa Barbara, California.

• 16:20Karen Kilgariff?

  Kristen.

• 16:21Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh my god.

• 16:22Karen Kilgariff?

  So wait, is the fest, is this ballroom dance competition yearly in Santa Barbara?

• 16:27Georgia Hardstark?

  I think it must be, yeah.

• 16:28Karen Kilgariff?

  God, I love that idea.

• 16:30Georgia Hardstark?

  It's like lemons and lemonade. My friend, Jocelyn, he was on her, what was supposed to be her wedding day with fucking asshole. What she called an unwedding weekend where she just, all her girlfriends came out. We did all kinds of fucked up funny things around weddings. And it was not a depressing weekend for her.

• 16:45Karen Kilgariff?

  Nice.

• 16:45Georgia Hardstark?

  You know?

• 16:46Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 16:46Georgia Hardstark?

  It was really smart.

• 16:47Karen Kilgariff?

  That's very good. It's like being proactive about.

• 16:49Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, I know this is gonna suck.

• 16:50Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes. I mean, I've seen a lot of those stories on TikTok too, where it's like, yes, you got left at the altar or you got, you know,

• 16:57Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 16:57Karen Kilgariff?

  two days before or whatever, and it could go this way and you're gonna just decide it's gonna go this way.

• 17:01Georgia Hardstark?

  Absolutely. I love that.

• 17:03Karen Kilgariff?

  All right. The subject line of this email is "My Petty Family." "Hi Karen and Georgia, my girlfriend is a longtime listener, but she knows I love the hometown, so we often listen to the minisodes together. You guys asked for petty family stories, and boy, do I have some for you." Hee hee. "The telescope." My family, so each one of them has its own title. Okay. "The telescope." "My family has an old farmhouse that we use as a vacation spot. One of my uncles had a rather nice telescope that he kept up there that anyone could use. One weekend, when my uncle's family and my family were up there at the same time, the telescope was found broken on the porch, but who was to blame?" Three question marks. "No one confessed, so my uncle, being a rational adult, used deductive reasoning

• 17:46Karen Kilgariff?

  and decided the most logical move is to blame my sibling." "Why, you might ask?" That's a great question that I have no answer for, but for almost a decade and a half, he held a strong grudge against my sibling. He would be rude, mean, and not talk to them, all over a telescope that he had no proof of them breaking. What? They did not break the telescope, and still, nobody knows who did, but the grudge was formed. Oh, I bet he broke it himself. Right? Yeah. Trying to get someone to pay for it? Yeah. I mean, I would love, right now, to be able to see a family photo when we just go through and say who we think did, didn't do it. Absolutely. It's a, it's a whole podcast. It's some, like, old kindly grandma that no one would suspect. Yeah. That's what I want. Smash.

• 18:32Karen Kilgariff?

  I don't like stars. Smash. Okay. This one is "Popovers." "My grandmother was quite the cook in her day, and in her old age, would often still make elaborate breakfasts and dinners for the family. One day, the whole family was up at the old farmhouse, and my grandmother decided she was gonna make popovers for breakfast. A small pastry-like pancake that you can put jam and butter in. They'll change your life if you've never had them." Mm-hmm. I don't think I've ever had them. It reminds me of, like, a Dutch baby. They kinda look like little muffins? Yeah, well, that's like a panty, I don't know. I'll fucking eat it. I'll have to look into it. They are a very labor intensive thing to cook and they take a rather long time. So my sibling and my cousin got hungry because it was already 11 a.m. and breakfast still wasn't ready.

• 19:17Karen Kilgariff?

  They went into the kitchen to make a piece of toast. This was their first mistake. They made their toast and ate it in front of my grandmother. Second mistake. She did not like this and decided she's not going to finish cooking because nobody's going to be hungry anyway. Because they're all too busy eating before breakfast is even ready. My god. She stopped cooking completely, left the kitchen and went around telling everybody how breakfast wasn't going to happen anymore. Because everyone is so full of toast.

• 19:46Karen Kilgariff?

  That is so petty. If anybody in my family did that, the second they would start saying that, everyone else would be like, oh, shut the hell up. Like truly immediately crowd shamed. Okay. Good. My mother made my sibling and cousin apologize to try to smooth things over. My grandmother quote unquote accepts their apology, finishes making breakfast, but doesn't allow them to eat any of the popovers. Because they were still too full of toast. Yeah. This might be a deep lesson, a deep lesson lesson about patience or just extreme pettiness. The popovers were amazing, by the way. I mean, there is that thing where it's like, hey, my old wretched hands, it's, you know, I have arthritis. It hurts me to make this and you're just gonna like, you're just gonna be uncaring.

• 20:31Karen Kilgariff?

  As long as you eat them still, you know? Yeah, and give people a chance to eat them. Yeah. Although it does feel good to punish. It does. A lonely movie theater. Okay. My sibling and my grandmother were spending a day together and they decided to go see a movie. My sibling accident, I don't know why I'm already laughing. I don't know what the story is. I think it's.

• 20:52Karen Kilgariff?

  My sibling accidentally inferred that my grandmother was old. Mm hmm.

• 20:59Karen Kilgariff?

  It's the same fucking grandmother, I think. My sibling accidentally inferred that my grandmother was old in front of her and my grandmother did not take this well.

• 21:08Georgia Hardstark?

  No.

• 21:09Karen Kilgariff?

  And so, sat my sibling in the back of the theater and then went to the front of the theater and sat separately for the entire movie.

• 21:16Georgia Hardstark?

  Wow.

• 21:18Karen Kilgariff?

  For the movie. After the movie, she drove my sibling home in complete and total silence. All things considered, though, my grandmother was a fantastic woman, a true...

• 21:29Georgia Hardstark?

  It's too late.

• 21:29Karen Kilgariff?

  No.

• 21:30Georgia Hardstark?

  It's too late.

• 21:30Karen Kilgariff?

  No. She was a fantastic woman, a true badass, and could have very well been a NASCAR driver. I have many stories of her legendary, yet terrifying, driving abilities. Sorry for the amount of stories and the length of them. I hope my family's drama brought you laughs and maybe put a smile on your face. They did. Thank you, as always, for the wonderful job you do. Your stories always make long drives and doing dishes far more entertaining. Sincerely, a friend.

• 21:57Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh.

• 21:59Karen Kilgariff?

  Thank you.

• 21:59Georgia Hardstark?

  I think this is a good reminder that you can write in your partner's story. If they don't listen, you can still use it.

• 22:05Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes, exactly.

• 22:06Georgia Hardstark?

  Right?

• 22:06Karen Kilgariff?

  And also, this person's saying that they don't feel like they're a murderer or they're a listener.

• 22:11Georgia Hardstark?

  Right, they're not into true crime.

• 22:12Karen Kilgariff?

  But then they're like, but also I like what my girlfriend likes.

• 22:15Georgia Hardstark?

  Right.

• 22:15Karen Kilgariff?

  So, let me get in on this.

• 22:16Georgia Hardstark?

  And hometowns are so different, that's like, anyone could listen to that.

• 22:19Karen Kilgariff?

  I mean, who couldn't listen to this bullshit?

• 22:20Georgia Hardstark?

  Try it, we dare you.

• 22:24Georgia Hardstark?

  The holidays are coming, which means we'll all be spending more time away from home.

• 22:27Karen Kilgariff?

  Whether you're visiting family or doing something actually fun, you want to know your home is protected while you're away.

• 22:33Georgia Hardstark?

  That's why now is a good time to think about home security with SimpliSafe.

• 22:36Karen Kilgariff?

  Unlike traditional security systems that alert you after a break-in starts, SimpliSafe is designed to help stop intruders before they get inside. These days, you're worried about your house, you're out of town, and then something comes up and you get to look on your phone, and SimpliSafe is going to show you not only the video of like, it's a raccoon at your front door, but also that they have staff that's sitting there that they already know, and if it was something different or worse, they would have already been on it.

• 23:02Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, I really think that's invaluable peace of mind, that just like relying on your neighbors, paying attention is not going to give you. We've partnered with SimpliSafe to offer our listeners their biggest savings of the year, 70% off your new system with professional monitoring. When you visit simplysafe.com/mfm.

• 23:20Karen Kilgariff?

  That's simplysafe.com/mfm. And when you order, write in MFM at checkout and it tells them we sent you and it really helps the show.

• 23:27Georgia Hardstark?

  Simply Safe, ahead of crime in real time.

• 23:30Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye. The most annoying thing about dinner is that you have to keep making it.

• 23:34Georgia Hardstark?

  And every single time you have to figure out what you're going to eat.

• 23:38Karen Kilgariff?

  It's time to take some of that work off your plate with Hungry Root.

• 23:41Georgia Hardstark?

  Hungry Root is like having your own personal shopper and nutritionist all wrapped into one. They'll take care of the weekly grocery shopping and recommend groceries and meals tailored to you. It's so nice having Hungry Root just take care of the thinking part of dinner because I swear, like every 10 minutes of my life is what's for dinner? I'm so sick of it. And so I love when you can just open your fridge and be like, okay, great. We have roasted chicken with fries and broccoli from Hungry Root. Or wagyu ribeye steak with green goddess potatoes. Great. Let's go with that. I don't want to think about it. That sounds amazing and it's easy.

• 24:15Karen Kilgariff?

  It's easy and it's good for you. You're not just ordering another pizza. You're gonna love Hungry Root.

• 24:20Georgia Hardstark?

  For a love of the time, get 40% off your first order plus get a free item in every box for life.

• 24:25Karen Kilgariff?

  Go to hungryroot.com/mfm and use code MFM.

• 24:29Georgia Hardstark?

  That's hungryroot.com/mfm, code MFM to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life.

• 24:36Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye.

• 24:39Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay, my last one is called my greatest comedic moment, home voicemail story. Hello, friends. While our phone number was never accidentally dialed for a funeral home or published as a doctor's office, it was one digit off from a classmate's and I would sometimes have to tell people they called the wrong house and what the correct number was. But that isn't my story.

• 25:02Georgia Hardstark?

  My best home phone story comes from my comedic genius as a nine-year-old. My family just gotten a new home phone with a voicemail system. Pretty sure we just had replaced the cassette voicemail thingy. And we were having an upbeat discussion about what our outgoing message should say over dinner. That's when it hit me, a bolt of inspiration. You see, our last name is Stump, like a tree stump. Our voicemail message since I was nine is, thanks for calling the Stumps. Now make like a tree and leave a message.

• 25:37Georgia Hardstark?

  I peaked, Melissa.

• 25:39Karen Kilgariff?

  Melissa, you did.

• 25:41Georgia Hardstark?

  Yes, my parents still have a home phone and had to replace their phone system, which means I no longer greet incoming callers with my little voice, but I did for 20-plus years.

• 25:49Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, imagine being able to call and listen to your nine-year-old self right now.

• 25:54Georgia Hardstark?

  When you have like, when you have a bad day and you're like, I'm not wor- you know, you're feeling down on yourself, just be like, when you were nine, you fucking did this.

• 26:02Karen Kilgariff?

  You had comedy coming out your pores.

• 26:04Georgia Hardstark?

  Comedy gold.

• 26:05Karen Kilgariff?

  Here's the last E.

• 26:06Georgia Hardstark?

  You've got the stump.

• 26:07Karen Kilgariff?

  The subject line. You've got this stump. Subject line, no, you really won't believe this. I was listening, it just starts. I was listening to Minnesota 418, and the writer mentioned how her grandpa rejected the opportunity to draw the golden arches. Remember that one?

• 26:23Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 26:24Karen Kilgariff?

  He's an architect, it was beneath him. Well, I got one better. My father told me the story that my great-grandfather was sitting in his recliner feeling lazy and decided to create something that would allow him to change the channels from his seat without having to get up. Somehow he MacGyvered a box with a wire that went from his chair to the TV. He called my great-grandma in with excitement to share his invention with her. She took one look at the contraption and told him it was ridiculous to think that people would be so lazy that they wouldn't even be willing to get out of their chair to change the channel. She scolded him first, then took the invention and tossed it in the trash.

• 27:02Georgia Hardstark?

  Wow, now that's petty.

• 27:04Karen Kilgariff?

  That is, that is some old-school marriage right there. I don't believe in you, get your shit out of my way.

• 27:11Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh my god.

• 27:12Karen Kilgariff?

  It wasn't until sometime later that the TV remote was invented by some other man who was lucky enough to not have a wife scold him and toss it in the trash. I could have been the heiress to the TV remote empire, but instead, I'm a public high school teacher.

• 27:28Georgia Hardstark?

  You're raising the next generation of mentors, at least.

• 27:31Karen Kilgariff?

  Yep, with that bitterness in your heart. You could have had it all. And there's a, they do my favorite little typing smiley face that's sideways. "Love you both more than you know. What you do is needed more than you know. Keep at it, Christina, she/her."

• 27:46Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, my God. This is why it's so important to be supportive in your relationships.

• 27:50Karen Kilgariff?

  That's right. We need you guys to support us so we can keep reading your emails.

• 27:55Georgia Hardstark?

  By sending them to myfavoritemurder@gmail, please, about anything and everything.

• 28:01Karen Kilgariff?

  So many things. Just a good story.

• 28:04Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, good stories are, that's.

• 28:06Karen Kilgariff?

  Good stories are great.

• 28:06Georgia Hardstark?

  That's all we want.

• 28:08Karen Kilgariff?

  Stay sexy.

• 28:08Georgia Hardstark?

  And don't get murdered.

• 28:10Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye.

• 28:12Speaker 02

  Elvis, do you want a cookie?

• 28:21Karen Kilgariff?

  This has been an Exactly Right Production.

• 28:23Georgia Hardstark?

  Our senior producer is Alejandra Keck.

• 28:25Karen Kilgariff?

  Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.

• 28:28Georgia Hardstark?

  This episode was mixed by Liana Scolacci.

• 28:30Karen Kilgariff?

  Email your hometowns to [email protected].

• 28:33Georgia Hardstark?

  And follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at MyFavoriteMurder.

• 28:37Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye.

• 28:43Speaker 03

  Cool fall nights always make me want to entertain more. A few friends around the table, maybe a fire outside when the sun goes down. Before everyone comes over, I stop at Total Wine & More. Right now, there's a cranberry flavored wine, a crisp apple wine, even a pumpkin spice cream that's perfect in coffee after dinner. And with the lowest prices, I can bring home a few different fall flavors for everyone to try. Find your favorite fall flavors at the lowest prices at Total Wine & More. Spirits are not sold in Virginia and North Carolina. Drink responsibly, must be 21.

• 29:17Speaker 04

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• 29:45Karen Kilgariff?

  Calling all amateur detectives and podcast obsessives.

• 29:49Georgia Hardstark?

  Virgin Voyages' second True Crime Voyage sets sail March 20th, 2027, for a five-night escape to Grand Turk and the Beach Club at Bimini.

• 29:57Karen Kilgariff?

  As part of the On Air at Sea collection, this immersive sailing brings together fan favorite podcasts, including Disgrace Land, Buried Bones, and Wise Crack, for live recordings, behind-the-scenes access, exclusive meet-and-greets, and crime-themed programming that you won't find anywhere else.

• 30:13Georgia Hardstark?

  All aboard our award-winning, kid-free ships.

• 30:16Karen Kilgariff?

  Head over to virginvoyages.com/truecrime to secure your spot.

• 30:20Georgia Hardstark?

  Goodbye.