917. Q&AF: Too Late At 38?, Motivating People Through Resistance & Feeling Behind

On today’s episode, Andy answers live call-in questions on how to decide if it’s too late to start a brand new career, how to motivate people to do better when they resist change, and how to cope with feeling stuck when everyone around you appears to be winning big.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:16Andy Frisella?

  What is up guys, it's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realist. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys. Today we have Q and A F. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. Now you can submit your questions a couple of different ways. The first way is- Guys, email your questions in to [email protected]. Or you go on YouTube, on the Q and A F episodes and just click the link in the bio there and you can fill out a form and call into the show, talk to us live. Or you just leave your question in the comments and we'll pick some from there as well. If you're unfamiliar with the show, this is Q and A F. We have multiple formats of the show. Sometimes we're gonna have CTI, that's Cruise the Internet. That's where we cover the news, current events, what's going on in the world.

• 1:01Andy Frisella?

  We throw these topics up here on the screen next to us. We talk about them, speculate and then talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world. Other times, we're gonna have Real Talk. Real Talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then sometimes we have 75 Hard Versus. That's where someone comes on the show, they talk about how they were before 75 Hard, how they are now and how they use the 75 Hard program to unfuck their lives. If you're unfamiliar with 75 Hard, it's the world's most famous mental transformation program ever and it is the initial phase of the Live Hard program, which you can get the entire thing for free at episode 208. This is not a fitness program.

• 1:45Andy Frisella?

  It is a mental toughness training program. Alright, so if you wanna fix the ultimate problem-

• 1:55Andy Frisella?

  With yourself, which is your ability to do what you say you want to do, what you decide you want to do. If you're being honest, you know, that's the problem. That's what this program fixes. All right. And you can get it for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. There's also a book on andy for seller.com called the book on mental toughness. It encompasses the entire live hard program, plus a whole bunch of chapters on mental toughness, why it's important, how to use it to build a life that you want. And that you know, you should be living. So with that being said, we ask very simply that you help us grow the show. If the show makes you think, if it makes you laugh, it gives you a new perspective. Do us a solid and don't be a hoe.

• 2:40Speaker 01

  Share the show.

• 2:41Andy Frisella?

  All right. What's up?

• 2:42Speaker 01

  What's going on, brother?

• 2:43Andy Frisella?

  Nothing dude. What's up with you?

• 2:44Speaker 01

  Oh, you know, it's been a great day. Just getting shit done. I rode a little Yamaha for the first time.

• 2:52Andy Frisella?

  Which one?

• 2:53Speaker 01

  Uh, Logan's.

• 2:54Andy Frisella?

  Logan's?

• 2:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, you got, you got that bike.

• 2:56Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. How is it?

• 2:58Speaker 01

  It's all right. It's in one piece still.

• 3:00Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 3:00Speaker 01

  Almost didn't come back.

• 3:01Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. A little bit smaller than what you used to.

• 3:03Speaker 01

  It is, but that thing's fast, man.

• 3:05Andy Frisella?

  Oh, yeah.

• 3:05Speaker 01

  Those like little street bikes are different. I'm used to the hogs.

• 3:07Andy Frisella?

  Yep. Yep. I know you are. Anyway.

• 3:14Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. Them big white hogs you like to ride.

• 3:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:17Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. Anyway, um, so people are probably wondering why we're having Q and A F in the middle of the week. Uh, that's because it is time for all of you to start participating in the revolution, which is the revolution and the rebellion of personal excellence. We have to understand that if we as humans are going to thrive and even survive at this point, we have to become everything they don't want us to become. They want us to be fat. We have to become fit. They want us to be stupid. We have to become intelligent. They want us to be dependent. We have to become

• 3:58Andy Frisella?

  independent. They want us to hate each other. We have to work together. These are things that are required for humanity to progress and your story. Your outcome, what you do on a daily basis is the revolution. And you have to understand that we all play a part in that. There is no opting out. There is no, oh, well, I don't have a big following. This doesn't have shit to do with your following. This has to do with the example that you set. This has to do with what the people around you observe. This has to do with what they see so they can know that certain things are possible for them. And we, as humans, have an obligation to set that standard.

• 4:40Andy Frisella?

  And that obligation and that duty has been forgotten by a lot of people, especially here in America. So with that being said, we are going to focus much more on personal development, at least giving you guys a couple of shows a week of that, uh, until we get this new podcast launched, which is imminent. So, yeah.

• 5:06Speaker 01

  Well, fuck yeah, man, dude. Yeah, you got me, you know what? Andy, I'm ready to punch through a wall, bro.

• 5:12Andy Frisella?

  Oh, yeah?

• 5:12Speaker 01

  Let's make some people better.

• 5:13Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 5:14Speaker 01

  Let's, uh, you know, like I said, punching holes through drywall. We have a Kyle.

• 5:18Andy Frisella?

  Cool.

• 5:19Speaker 01

  We're gonna get on the phone. Let's go, let's give Kyle a call. Here we go.

• 5:32Speaker 02

  Hello?

• 5:32Speaker 01

  Kyle, what's up, dude?

• 5:35Speaker 02

  Oh, what's up, DJ?

• 5:36Speaker 01

  What's going on, bro? How are you?

• 5:39Speaker 02

  I'm all right. Let me get to an area that's not so damn noisy.

• 5:44Speaker 01

  No, you got.

• 5:44Speaker 02

  Caught me on a roof.

• 5:47Speaker 01

  On a roof?

• 5:50Speaker 01

  You on the roof?

• 5:51Speaker 02

  Yes, sir. Can you hear me okay?

• 5:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, don't jump. Don't do it.

• 5:55Andy Frisella?

  It ain't that bad, bro.

• 5:57Speaker 02

  I'm thinking about it, bro.

• 5:58Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, it ain't that bad.

• 6:02Speaker 02

  How's it going fellas?

• 6:03Andy Frisella?

  Doing good Kyle, how you doing bro?

• 6:07Speaker 02

  I'm good man.

• 6:08Andy Frisella?

  Good.

• 6:09Speaker 02

  Actually got some, some rain up here in Washington state right now.

• 6:13Andy Frisella?

  Shit dude, isn't it, I, I think it's, isn't it always raining up there?

• 6:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, I usually get probably two weeks in the spring and two weeks in the fall. It's actually like comfortable weather for me to work. The rest is either hot as shit or below 12.

• 6:30Andy Frisella?

  Oh, no, that sounds pleasant.

• 6:33Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 6:33Speaker 01

  Good while you're on the roof.

• 6:34Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 6:37Andy Frisella?

  So that's why you're on the roof.

• 6:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:39Andy Frisella?

  Alright, so what can we help you with brother?

• 6:43Speaker 02

  So, uh, I forget what I wrote. I imagine had something to do with changing direction of my life though, cause I'm at that point now at 38.

• 6:54Speaker 02

  I've done this for 20 years of my life. Uh, six of the most, I was an entrepreneur when I was real young and stupid. Lost my business during the recession. But, uh, when my wife had her boy, uh, her kidneys failed. So I had to get, you know, a good job with, you know, awesome health benefits. So went to the union roofers and been doing that for the last 13 years. And now she's finally got her transplant. So we're able to have a little bit more freedom and, and figure out like what we want to do because in all honesty, I am just bored of roofing man.

• 7:35Speaker 02

  And, uh, I got a few things lined up, but the problem is it's going to be a pay cut right off the bat until I work my way up.

• 7:46Speaker 02

  And at 38, giving my family the lifestyle, you know, I'm, I'm coaching my boy right now. It's the last year I get to coach him until he goes to high school. Uh, do I just suck it up and keep doing what I'm doing? Giving them the lifestyle they've become accustomed to or figure out something else?

• 8:08Speaker 02

  And is it too late at 38 to start from somewhere, a whole new industry and work my way up?

• 8:16Andy Frisella?

  Well, look, man, uh, that's, that's a lot. And I think a lot of people get to be the age that you're at, and they start to consider these things that you're considering. Is this really what I want to do? Is this really what I want my life to be?

• 8:35Andy Frisella?

  You're, it's not too late. All right. So let's just get that out of the way. Uh, especially with the technology that's available today, the scale at which someone can enter a business, build a business and bear fruit with that business

• 8:52Andy Frisella?

  is much quicker than it used to be. Um, it's significantly quicker than what it was when you were, uh, you know, doing this shit back in 2008. All right. So the reality of the situation that you have to deal with right now is, do I want to take a step back for three years?

• 9:18Andy Frisella?

  To take a step forward for the next 50? And if you think about it like that, it's, the answer is very obvious. Okay. And a lot of people ruin their lives because they don't want to take a step back when they have to, to move forward. And the reality of success is that at points in time along our journey, we have to take steps back. And sometimes that looks like for an entrepreneur, that would look like not getting paid for a year or two. I've gone through a number of phases like that in my entrepreneurial journey where I don't get paid from the companies in order to let that money work for me in other ways.

• 10:02Andy Frisella?

  For, uh, you know, an employee, for someone else, that might look like, you know, downsizing your car, downsizing your apartment, downsizing your house, you know, um,

• 10:14Andy Frisella?

  But I think it's important dude to think about this in a scale of decades, not in a scale of the immediate discomfort that it might cause you or your family. Let's be real, bro. Material shit, as cool as it is, house, car, lifestyle, it's really not that important. And once you've experienced any of it, it's not, it's not a huge deal. Being satisfied with where you are, what you do, what you accomplish and fulfilled with what you do with your life is far more important than taking a step back financially for a few years while you figure something out. Now with that all being said, it's very important

• 10:59Andy Frisella?

  that you know where you're going to go from here and don't just say, hey, I'm gonna jump off this cliff because I don't wanna fucking do this thing anymore. And then not know what to do because that will, that will end up in a place that's not very good. So my advice, bro, is like if you were my brother and I was saying, hey Kyle, look, man, you fucking hate what you do. Okay. You don't like it. You're over it. You've already done it. Do you think you could do it for another 30 years? What's your answer?

• 11:36Speaker 02

  No, not physically. I mean,

• 11:38Andy Frisella?

  Well, no, you can't, bro, mentally or physically. Let's say you could do it physically for another 30 years. You know what you're gonna think at the end of 30 years? Fuck. I could have done so much other shit. You know what I'm saying? And like, bro, you, I can hear it in your voice, bro. You're, this path for you is exhausted. It's gonna require you to make some changes. But at the end of the day, brother, you know, I think you already know what you need to do.

• 12:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, I just, the issue is, I spent 20 years becoming a master at what I do, right? And that's, you know, roofing, construction, whatever.

• 12:19Speaker 02

  All my other skill sets, like I'm, I'm good with computers. I got great discipline, work ethic, all that. That's, that's all well and good. But I have no other marketable skills besides what I put on my resume for the last 20 years. I can't go into a different industry just say, I'm disciplined and I got grit and fortitude, but in spades.

• 12:40Andy Frisella?

  Is there not?

• 12:42Speaker 02

  How do I market that's where it's not, you know, half of what I?

• 12:45Andy Frisella?

  It depends on what you're trying to do. What do you, what do you want to do? What are your, when you said you had other things to do, what were they?

• 12:54Speaker 02

  Well, I got one option at, uh, longshoreman and five, six years become a captain of boat. And the other is pretty much entrepreneurship. That's really my only other options.

• 13:05Andy Frisella?

  You don't think that you've learned enough skill about construction and roofing to do your own thing as an entrepreneur in that, in that lane?

• 13:16Speaker 02

  Oh yeah. I just gotta find the money to do it.

• 13:20Andy Frisella?

  Well, I mean, bro, that's everybody's problem. Right? Everybody's problem is they gotta find the money to do it. Like you're going to have to back the fuck up off your financial obligations and, and reinvest and start small. That's, that's what it takes, dude. Listen, at the end of the day, here's what it is. You can either continue, you could continue to do what you do. You already said you don't like it. You already said you're tired of it. Okay.

• 13:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:47Andy Frisella?

  You can go be a longshoreman. Like you said, that sounds pretty cool. I think that'd be fun, but I bet if you did that for five, six years, you're going to say, I don't like this either. Okay. It sounds cool because it's new. And at the end of the day, you've already started a business. It failed. That doesn't mean that you're a bad entrepreneur. Most entrepreneurs go through failure after failure after failure. But you gotta understand that that comes with a different level of anxiety, stress.

• 14:24Andy Frisella?

  You know, it's just a different life, man. And I can't tell you what life you're going to be the happiest to live. But what I can tell you is that if you're thinking what you're thinking now, in two years, it's going to be worse and four years, it's going to be worse and eight years, it's going to be worse. And you're going to have to decide and make a decision, brother, and then just stick with it because at your age, you know, this is probably, we're getting to the point where, you know? Just talking real, you probably only got one chance to redo your life at this age. So it's not like you're gonna have another one at 60, you know what I mean?

• 15:01Speaker 02

  And that's where I'm at, yeah, absolutely.

• 15:04Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, so it's important that you think, you know, decades ahead, bro, where, what do you want to say about your life when you are 60? What do you want to say when you're 70? Do you want to say, "I spent my whole life doing roofing even though I hated it"? Or do you want to say, "I had the balls to change something up and I did whatever the fuck it takes to work"? I can tell you this, dude, if you're not all in on making whatever decision that you want to make from here, work no matter what,

• 15:38Andy Frisella?

  you shouldn't make any moves because you'll end up flat on your face. But you already said you have discipline, grit, this, that, the other, you know, you ask how to market that.

• 15:49Andy Frisella?

  I mean, marketing that comes from your own displaying of results of what you've already created. So, I mean, bro, I, I don't, I can't tell you what to do with your life, but I can tell you that if you continue down the same path that you're on, you're gonna have regrets and

• 16:14Andy Frisella?

  most people don't want that.

• 16:21Speaker 02

  Oh, you're absolutely right. And yeah, you, you're right earlier. I do know what I need to do.

• 16:27Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, bro, I know you do. You're, you're not, you, you already do know, it's just, it's uncomfortable. And you gotta realize, bro, that most people will fucking stay in that uncomfortable situation their entire lives and then fucking just eat the regret later and say, "Oh, I had a good life." And dude, if we're being real, that's bitch shit. That's bitch ass shit. That's pussy shit, okay? You're not a, you're, you haven't, you gotta have the courage to be, look, man, if you don't have the courage to become what it is you want to do, or become what it is you want to become, it's gonna be you that has to fucking go in the hole with the regret. So it's all about what you want to deal with. For me, you know,

• 17:13Andy Frisella?

  I don't want to have to fucking wonder if I went hard. I don't want to have to wonder if I had courage. I don't want to have to wonder if I was just being afraid. And for me, when I start to feel like I need to make a move or make a decision or move forward, I just fucking do it. Because the minute I start thinking about it, I know about myself, it's just going to grow and grow and grow and grow and grow. Until it gets so uncomfortable that I have to move anyway. So, bro, I understand where you're at and I understand your hesitancy because real consequences ride on it. And that's okay, dude. You could say, hey, I want to stay in this another year and then I'm going to do this. I'm going to wait until my son gets out of high school and then I'm going to do this.

• 17:57Andy Frisella?

  But I just don't want you to go for another 30 years, bro, and be like, fuck. I wish I had done something different. That's all I'm saying.

• 18:08Speaker 02

  Well, I appreciate it, man. Thank you, guys.

• 18:11Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, I mean, what do you think, bro?

• 18:14Speaker 02

  No, I mean, you said it. It's exactly what I gotta do. I mean,

• 18:20Speaker 02

  I'm gonna regret it either way. I spent my life, my entire working career, working my balls off and being uncomfortable as it is. So I'm either uncomfortable doing this or uncomfortable making a change for the better.

• 18:31Andy Frisella?

  There you go, bro. And on top of it, man, like, those skills that you learned are valuable skills. They're going to be more valuable the next three or four years anyway. Because so much technology is going to replace these pencil pusher jobs. You know, there's an opportunity for you right now to move into as a roofing entrepreneur and innovate the roofing space. I mean, right now, like, right now is the perfect time for it. There's going to be new technology. There's going to be new equipment. There's going to be new ways to do things. And these older guys, they're not going to adjust. They're going to say, just like everything that happens, you know, we don't need cars because we got horses. And that's going to be, that's going to be a major opportunity in construction.

• 19:14Andy Frisella?

  People who start construction companies or start, uh, blue collar tradesman jobs who are willing to innovate and build businesses off of the technology available are going to beat these older guys who, you know, we, dude, look, I grew up around construction too. We all know the kind of guys that do it. They're like this. Hey, that's not how we used to do it. We did it like this, and that's how we're gonna do it. And we're gonna do it like that until fucking the wheels fall off. They're not very open to, to evolution. And if you can be, you know, that's where you're, that's where your lane is. You know the shit. You, you, you are already keeping up with technology. You said you're good with computers. Pour yourself a little bit more into that. Start thinking about how you can innovate the roofing business.

• 19:56Andy Frisella?

  And, and work towards something like that, dude. Like, that way you can look back and say, well, you know, I, I, I didn't waste my life. I went to school for 20 years for this. That makes me a fucking expert. You know? So dude, I personally see lots of options for you. I just think you gotta, you've gotta push past that playing the middle, right? Like the, the playing of the middle, the uncertainty, that's what exhausts people. That's what wears people out. And, um,

• 20:26Andy Frisella?

  you know, you, you've just gotta decide, hey, this is my plan. This is what I'm gonna do. And you gotta go do it. If you, if you're waffle, it'll fucking fail. You know what I mean?

• 20:37Speaker 02

  Yes, I do. Guys, I, I can't, I can't thank you enough. I appreciate all the time and what you do for everybody. So.

• 20:43Andy Frisella?

  Well, look, man, you're going through a natural part of life, and I think you got a great opportunity in front of you. It's just about making that commitment and going and making it work.

• 20:55Speaker 02

  Well, thank you again, man. I appreciate it, brother.

• 20:57Andy Frisella?

  All right. See you, Kyle. Thanks, brother.

• 20:59Speaker 02

  All right, see you.

• 21:02Speaker 01

  Did something I was thinking about during that, that conversation, and, and you pointed this out to me years ago. But just on the, the idea of just being a little uncomfortable,

• 21:14Speaker 01

  it actually helps propel you forward. It keeps that drive alive almost, right?

• 21:17Andy Frisella?

  Hold on, man. You can't win without it.

• 21:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:20Andy Frisella?

  You can't win without it. This is something that people have to understand. You, in the beginning, it's very easy to.

• 21:30Andy Frisella?

  Move forward because you don't have an option. All right. When you're, when you're broke and you don't have shit going on for you,

• 21:39Andy Frisella?

  you have to eat. You gotta pay your bills. So you have to go do things. When you get in a situation like Kyle's in where he's making a decent living, he's working hard, he's getting paid, he's taking care of his family. That allows him a certain level of comfort, which makes it harder to make the decision. All right? So the pressure, I call it zero options mentality, is required to succeed. And a lot of people, they will say, well, if this doesn't work, then I'll do this. Well, if that doesn't work, then I'll do this. And they make all these contingencies and because they have these contingencies, they don't go all in on the initial plan,

• 22:20Andy Frisella?

  which is what's required for it to work. And the real trick is that whenever you start to become successful and you start to build some, you know, means, you can afford dinner and a decent car and a nice house and you're not starving. That's where it becomes extremely important for you to leverage inside of your own mind, the idea that you don't have any other choice but to do it. And that may require you fabricating a story or taking extra responsibility for the people that work for you. Right? Like, I know that I'm not legitimately responsible for everybody's life,

• 23:02Andy Frisella?

  but the story I tell myself so that I get out of bed and go hard is that if I don't get out of bed and go hard, these motherfuckers are gonna starve. And so that's, that's not acceptable to me. So that's a zero option mentality that I'm developing. You see what I'm saying? Absolutely. And so in the beginning, it's easy because you actually have zero options. But where Kyle is, you know, now you have options. So it's like really hard to fucking move. And it's especially hard when you've worked so hard to have stability, to take a little bit of that off the table to move forward on what you actually Actually want to do. And sometimes for some people, the right move is to stay right where the fuck you are.

• 23:45Andy Frisella?

  Because you're not going to fully commit to anything else. So that's why it's such a hard question for me to answer for him because I'm not him. You know what I'm saying? If I were him, knowing how I am, I would absolutely do what I said. I would stay in it and while I'm in it, I would fucking start fabricating a plan. Around how we're going to innovate the roofing business, something I know a lot of everything about. I'm a master, like in his words. How are we going to do this with technology? How are we going to do this with with the changes that are coming? What's the roofing industry going to look like in five years? How can I get there before everybody else? And that's where I'm working if I'm him.

• 24:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, absolutely. Come down on the fucking gas station taquitos.

• 24:31Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 24:31Speaker 01

  Start saving up some.

• 24:32Andy Frisella?

  Bro, a little goes a long way, you know? It's like what fucking Ramsey says, you know? Fucking no, no starbies.

• 24:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's right.

• 24:38Andy Frisella?

  You know what I'm saying? So, I mean, dude, you know, a lot of people tease Dave Ramsey, but like Dave Ramsey is. Gives a lot of really good practical advice for people to free up their income. And their debt to be free at something later. And I actually agree with them. I think most people live beyond their means. They get caught up in this fucking bullshit rat race. They have way more shit than they actually need to be happy. It's short-lived and it puts them in a financial bind that that enslaves them for their entire life. And the truth of the matter is, is like the good shit that you really want. That requires passing on the fucking Jordans.

• 25:20Andy Frisella?

  That requires passing on the, on the, you know, the five series Beamer or whatever the fuck you're trying to flex in front of your neighbors with. Like Dave Ramsey's selling a $15 million fucking mansion in Nashville right now. It's badass, but he didn't get there by, you know, stretching himself thin up until that point.

• 25:40Speaker 01

  Right.

• 25:41Andy Frisella?

  So you have to understand like, you know, you can have these little luxuries, but these little luxuries that you're stretching to have. Keep the big life that you want from happening.

• 25:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:50Andy Frisella?

  And there's a lot of truth to that.

• 25:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, bro. There's a fine line of like being able to tread right.

• 25:55Andy Frisella?

  Now, once you get enough offense going and you're fucking just, you're, you know, you're printing. That's a different thing.

• 26:02Speaker 01

  Right.

• 26:02Andy Frisella?

  But like when you're first start getting started and you're trying to work out of where Kyle is. That's required. It's, it's what it is. And a lot of people will fucking trap themselves their whole life because their ego won't allow them to take a couple of steps back. They don't want to be seen driving a used car. They don't want to downsize their house because they're afraid of what their fucking friends will say. You know what I'm saying? You shouldn't be worried about that. You should be thinking about what they're going to say when you roll up in your fucking brand new fucking Rolls. Because you innovated the roofing business.

• 26:32Speaker 01

  Right. That's real shit, man. That's real. I love it, man. Well, guys, let's get question number two going. We have a write in. Question number two. Good morning, Andy and DJ. A little background on myself. I'm a 47 year old mom, wife, veteran, deputy, rancher, and all time follower of your content. I'm on my fourth 75 hard and seek mental toughness and control on the daily. My question for your expertise, knowing your mindset and experience. I have adult sons and other friends and family that I know for a fact need 75 hard in their life.

• 27:14Speaker 01

  One son struggles with weight and has attempted 75 hard two times, but when failing makes excuses to get back on board. I find myself having a zero empathetic attitude towards the people that refuse to do the work to help themselves. How do you help and support people that you care for when you know what they need to do to help themselves, but they refuse to do it? I find myself biting my tongue in so many conversations to basically save my relationship with them, but it stresses me out because I want to just be real with them. And I'm sure I would not come across the right way. I would appreciate your thoughts on this and hopes that you have ideas on how to approach it. Have a kick ass day.

• 27:55Andy Frisella?

  Uh, here, I'll, I'll solve it to you in three words. Tell the truth.

• 28:01Andy Frisella?

  If the fucker's fat, tell him he's fucking fat. When I was 350 pounds, none of my friends told me I was fat. And you know what? I wish they had. I had to listen to the internet tell me fat. And when the internet was telling me I was fat, I was like, fuck, I guess I'm fat. And I lost 100 motherfucking pounds. Okay, so my answer to you is probably not the answer that you would like. It's probably not the socially accepted answer. But I would bully the fuck out of them until they stop putting food in their fucking mouth and get off their fat ass and start fucking working. If you really care about them. If you really care about them. Okay? Here's the thing. They're never going to do it by you just saying, oh, I really would like to see you do that. That is not enough pressure. It's not enough pressure.

• 28:44Andy Frisella?

  They have to feel like shit about themselves. They have to look in the mirror and say, fuck, I'm a fat, fucking lazy slob. And however you can facilitate them learning to, uh, observe that on their own, the quicker they will change. And that's just reality and people don't like that. They say it's mean. They say, it might be mean. But you know what's meaner than that? Allowing someone to be a fat piece of shit who fucking won't do the work, who constantly complains about being fat and unhealthy and doesn't, you know, know what to do. Um.

• 29:20Speaker 01

  But you say you love and care for.

• 29:21Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, that you say you love and care for, but you keep, you keep, you know, babying them and, and, you know, like.

• 29:28Speaker 01

  I don't want to hurt their feelings.

• 29:29Andy Frisella?

  It's not, you don't have to, I'm just telling you how I would do it. I'm not saying how you need to do it, but that's how I would do it. I'd make fun of them.

• 29:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:36Andy Frisella?

  Until they fucking stopped. I mean, how much weight are you down?

• 29:40Speaker 01

  I'm down 45 pounds.

• 29:41Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, and it's because I call you a fat fuck every single day. It's part of it. And so do these guys.

• 29:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, it's mainly, my dad does it a lot, actually.

• 29:50Andy Frisella?

  Listen dude, if you really care about people, you tell them the truth. Otherwise, it's fake care. You care about yourself. Okay, if you don't want to offend people with the truth, it's because you lack the courage or the care that you claim to have to actually deliver the truth in a meaningful way. I have zero empathy for people like that as well. And the reason that I have zero empathy for people like that as well is because I have conquered that problem for myself. And I realize that if I can conquer that problem for myself, so can anybody. So, I totally agree with you. And I think you're putting too much weight into being.

• 30:30Andy Frisella?

  Quote unquote, nice, or whatever you think that is. But I, I just see things different, bro. I see, I see kindness and niceness.

• 30:41Andy Frisella?

  Pretty much different than what everybody else sees it as. Like, I see kindness and niceness as the truth. I think if you actually care about someone, you will tell them the truth. I, I think if you actually want someone to be happy and you know what they need to change, you will tell them the truth.

• 30:58Andy Frisella?

  And I think people that don't are full of shit.

• 31:01Speaker 01

  Yeah. I think too, like, it's also important too to make, like, to continue to be that example for them.

• 31:07Andy Frisella?

  Oh, yeah. I mean, that's, that's

• 31:09Speaker 01

  You know what I'm saying? Cause I mean, that's a big

• 31:10Andy Frisella?

  What'd he say? It was his kids?

• 31:11Speaker 01

  Uh, it's her sons, yeah.

• 31:13Andy Frisella?

  How old are they?

• 31:13Speaker 01

  Uh, it didn't say. She's, she's 47.

• 31:16Andy Frisella?

  So they're probably 20.

• 31:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, somewhere in there.

• 31:18Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. So, uh, yeah, they're old enough to fucking

• 31:21Speaker 01

  They can take it.

• 31:22Andy Frisella?

  Here, here's the reality too. They should realize, like, look dude. If you're overweight

• 31:30Andy Frisella?

  in a significant way, your life experience is completely different than what it would be if you weren't shit. Completely different. So people who are fit, people who are healthy, people who take care of themselves, send a message to everybody in every situation, whether it be the people they work for, whether it be their potential mates in a relationship, whether it be their friend group, anybody, their kids, they are sending a completely different message, which brings back a completely different quality of life. And when I was 350 pounds, I would have argued that. And I did argue that. I said, hey, you know what? I'm a great entrepreneur. You know how much better I got when I lost a hundred fucking pounds?

• 32:12Andy Frisella?

  You know how much more money I made? You know how much more opportunity I got? Like, it's not comparable. And, uh, if you want the best for your sons, you should probably explain to them, like, things that are gonna matter to them. You know, like, hey, um,

• 32:31Andy Frisella?

  Do you like girls?

• 32:33Speaker 01

  It's very simple.

• 32:33Andy Frisella?

  I'm being serious.

• 32:34Speaker 01

  That's real.

• 32:35Andy Frisella?

  Do you like girls? Yeah, I like girls. Well, do you know why you're not getting any? Cause you can't see your own dick. Okay? And like, that's the truth.

• 32:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:44Andy Frisella?

  Girl, listen, if you're fat, you're gonna have a limited selection of, of women unless you are insanely hilarious, like Shane Gillis.

• 32:52Speaker 01

  That's real.

• 32:52Andy Frisella?

  Okay?

• 32:53Speaker 01

  That's real.

• 32:53Andy Frisella?

  Uh, but you're, no, no girls wanna, when they're that age, they don't, or any age, they don't wanna fucking, I know there's chubby chasers and shit, but like, I'm just saying in general, your, your opportunities are gonna be limited in every, in every area.

• 33:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, or during the wintertime when it's colder out, they need a little bit more warmth.

• 33:13Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, maybe.

• 33:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:14Andy Frisella?

  I mean, that's something that I told myself when I was fat.

• 33:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's real, man.

• 33:18Andy Frisella?

  You know?

• 33:19Speaker 01

  It's real.

• 33:20Andy Frisella?

  I, I, I just don't think,

• 33:24Andy Frisella?

  you know,

• 33:27Andy Frisella?

  I think if someone had sat down and explained it to me when I was 20 years old and said, if you don't get in shape, you're not gonna make money and you're not gonna meet girls, I would take it serious. Cause that's what I cared about at 20.

• 33:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:38Andy Frisella?

  You know what I mean?

• 33:39Speaker 01

  They're just tied to something they actually care about. Yeah. That's real, man. You know what? I, I wanted to ask you this because I feel like a common thing out there too.

• 33:45Andy Frisella?

  But also remember, 75 hard isn't for fucking fitness. It's a fucking mental transformation program. So also you should be explaining to them in a very real way that if you don't learn how to follow through on your plans, you're never gonna be successful at anything. And that's what that program fucking solves. It solves the problem of adherence. And when people can't adhere to any plan, they can't be successful at anything. So we have to build our discipline and our toughness and our grit and our fortitude, everything that contributes to our ability to follow through on the plans that we set forth for ourselves in order for us to have a fulfilling, successful life.

• 34:29Andy Frisella?

  If you can't adhere to very simple things, such as, I'm not going to put X in my fucking mouth and I'm going to get off the couch and walk for an hour. Like if you can't do these things, you can't, you don't have, you, you can't do anything.

• 34:47Andy Frisella?

  You understand?

• 34:48Speaker 01

  Absolutely, man.

• 34:48Andy Frisella?

  You can't do anything. So you have to fix the problem of adherence before you start saying, "Oh, I'm gonna do this, or I'm gonna do that, or I'm gonna do this, or I'm gonna..." You ain't doing shit. Cause you can't even control what goes in your fucking mouth.

• 35:02Andy Frisella?

  You know, you know what I'm saying?

• 35:03Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 35:03Andy Frisella?

  Like, a lot of people are like, "Oh, well, that, this program's better than..." For what? There's not a better program in the world to teach fucking discipline. That's why there's billions of fucking hashtags all over the goddamn internet.

• 35:14Speaker 01

  I love it, man.

• 35:16Andy Frisella?

  Well, I just get tired of it.

• 35:17Speaker 01

  I love it.

• 35:17Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. I mean, bro, do your kids wanna be fat, or do they not? Do your kids wanna be broke, or do they not? Do your kids wanna fucking get pussy, or do they not? I'm sure they wanna say yes to all of those things. Whether your mom tells you, probably not, you know, that's probably not what they wanna hear.

• 35:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:38Andy Frisella?

  "Hey, boys, you wanna get some, wanna get some pussy?"

• 35:42Andy Frisella?

  Boy. Bro, it's the truth.

• 35:45Speaker 01

  It's the truth.

• 35:46Andy Frisella?

  People don't like the truth. You just say it like this. No, I'm gonna say it like I say it. Fucking be miserable, or fucking fix it.

• 35:54Speaker 01

  I love it, man.

• 35:55Andy Frisella?

  You either are, or you aren't. It is, or it isn't.

• 36:00Andy Frisella?

  They're either doing it, or they're not doing it. Like, that's it. And I don't know, like, how to soft, hand-feed somebody the truth to where it's gonna affect them in a way. Like, have you ever, has anybody ever, fucking, ever, ever, ever, I want everybody to fucking think about it? Have you ever had a polite conversation with someone, and then they completely fucking change your behavior?

• 36:23Andy Frisella?

  Do you, have you ever seen a football coach walk on the fucking field with a bunch of grown men and say, "Hey, guys, I'd really appreciate it if you went out there and you execute the play, and I really appreciate that you did it perfectly." And have you ever seen a coach that does it like that win? Okay, so the truth of the matter is, is this is what people respond to. People respond to confrontation, they respond to directness, they respond to truth, and they respond to it in a, when you present it in a way like, hey, man,

• 36:56Andy Frisella?

  I fucking care about you, but you're a turd, okay? And you need to fucking fix it. And that's what I've found works the best, whether it be in a team or whether it be as an individual. I've never had a team, and I've never had an individual, as much as they've cried about sometimes the way that the message is delivered, I've never had someone respond properly to, "I really would like to see you be a little more healthy." I've never seen it.

• 37:25Speaker 01

  No.

• 37:26Andy Frisella?

  There's a, there's a reason that when you go to fucking boot camp, they say, "Get your fucking ass on that motherfucking spot right now." And it's because most people are so fucking pussy and so soft, that they, that's the only thing they can fucking respond to is the, the fear that something might actually happen to them.

• 37:46Speaker 01

  If they don't.

• 37:47Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 37:47Speaker 01

  Yeah. That's real. Well, I think too, it's like, you know, ultimately, man, you can't want it more than somebody else wants, wants it for themselves.

• 37:54Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 37:55Speaker 01

  And that comes in time, you know?

• 38:00Speaker 01

  You gotta want it, man.

• 38:01Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, well, I mean, bring your fucking kids up here, I'll fucking tell them the truth. I'm just being real. Most of y'all are parents, no offense to this lady that wrote this in, but most of y'all are parents, the reason your kids suck is because you suck. You won't have real conversations with them. You won't hold the line, you don't live a life that, that, that you think they should live, and then you expect them to just magically sprout into these amazing individuals. It's not gonna fucking happen, bro. So.

• 38:27Speaker 01

  It's real, man. That's real. Well, let's get caller number two, question number three. Let's knock this out. Uh, we got John.

• 38:37Speaker 01

  Let's get John on the phone.

• 38:42Speaker 03

  Hello, this is John.

• 38:44Speaker 01

  Hey, John, what's going on, man?

• 38:46Speaker 03

  DJ, what's going on, buddy?

• 38:47Speaker 01

  I can't call it, just another day, you know, just a squirrel trying to find a nut. What's going on with you?

• 38:53Speaker 03

  Oh, just checking boxes, man, working away.

• 38:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, where you calling from?

• 38:58Speaker 03

  Uh, North Idaho.

• 38:59Speaker 01

  North Idaho, we got, we got, alright. We got Washington, now we got Idaho, alright.

• 39:04Speaker 03

  Porta Lane.

• 39:05Speaker 01

  Alright, that's sick, man, yep.

• 39:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:11Speaker 01

  Well, we got the big dog here, how can we help?

• 39:14Speaker 03

  Oh, boy. Andy, how you doing?

• 39:17Speaker 01

  I'm doing good, brother, how are you?

• 39:19Speaker 03

  Good, man. Good, good, I got one for you today, I, uh, something that I, maybe I should give you a little backstory on, uh, four years in business, um, and, uh, doing construction and excavation work, stuff like that, and, uh, you know, you see guys come and go, new businesses, and you see guys that end up, you know, sticking around, and, uh, you get a little competitive with them, seeing them, you know, scoring jobs or landing jobs you've been on or wanted, and, you know, whether it pisses you off and fuels the fire a little bit, I always thought that was normal, but, um, a buddy of mine started doing the same thing, and at first I was kind of helping him out, and,

• 40:02Speaker 03

  you know, teaching him tricks to trade and whatnot, and, uh, I found myself getting, you know, starting to get annoyed when he was landing jobs, um, so it seems like, you know, everyone and his mother knows everybody that's looking for the kind of work we do, and, uh, it started kind of making me feel like, shit, am I, am I a piece of shit for thinking this way, or, you know, is it okay to think this way? Should I just use it to be more competitive and try harder, or, you know, I'm kind of just don't know what to do with it.

• 40:35Speaker 01

  You mean negative feelings?

• 40:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, you know, or just, you know, he'll get a, you know, oh, my, my uncle's buddy's building five houses and he's got all this work for me, and I'm just like, motherfucker, are you kidding me?

• 40:48Speaker 01

  So this, this was your best friend that started the same business as you, you helped him, and now, got it.

• 40:54Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 40:55Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, why is he doing better than you?

• 41:00Speaker 03

  Well, I've asked myself that and it, you know,

• 41:06Speaker 03

  it honestly, it feels like it just comes down that he just knows more people.

• 41:12Andy Frisella?

  Well.

• 41:13Speaker 03

  You know, I feel like I go out grinding and knocking doors and calling, dropping off flyers and then he'll call me up and be like, oh yeah, my uncle's brother's got up this property for me to do all this work on. And then it's just like all the time.

• 41:25Andy Frisella?

  Well, first of all, is it true?

• 41:30Andy Frisella?

  Is what he's saying true? Second of all, uh, well, it doesn't matter, but I mean, these are questions that you should ask yourself. One, is he full of shit? Okay. Because I have a lot of people that, that, you know, and by the way, a lot of you know their names. Because they happen to be pretty famous on the internet. Who tell me all kinds of shit they're doing. Uh, and, and they're usually full of shit and it never materializes and I never see it. And, uh, you know, we're doing this, so we're doing that. And we got this, this and this and this and this valuation and that. And then nothing ever changes in their life. So that's a natural thing amongst people who want to be competitive. Is that people will flat out lie to you and make you feel like shit.

• 42:14Andy Frisella?

  Um, secondly, if it is true, why is it true? Well, you answered the question. It seems like he knows more people than me. So if that's the problem, then what you have is an awareness problem. You need more people to know who the fuck you are. So what are you going to do to make that happen? How are you going to solve that problem? Because if it's just as simple as more people know him or he knows more people, then you have, you know exactly what it's going to take to get business. You, you, I mean, assuming that's what it is. Okay.

• 42:55Andy Frisella?

  I don't know if that's what it is. I don't know. I don't know if, if he's actually having more work. I don't know if he's full of shit. I don't know if the real problem is, is that he knows more people, but I think deep down you probably know exactly why he's doing more than you. And I think you need to be honest with yourself about what that is and then address that problem because if I was blessed enough to be able to recognize where I was

• 43:29Andy Frisella?

  failing, then I would put my attention into that area. So that that would get my business on the level of where I would want it to be. But at the same time, like your goal, what is your goal? Your goal isn't to like outdo this guy, right? Like that's not, that's not a real goal. Your real goal should be your goal and your goal should be so fucking big that you're consumed with how well you have to execute to achieve that goal. All right. And like I say all the time, there's so many people that waste their time and their energy. When our time and our energy are our most valuable resource, we only get limited amounts of it

• 44:13Andy Frisella?

  every single day on a 24 hour period. All right. And if we spend it watching, you know, Steve's business and Steve's business, we fucking is doing all these things and we're getting jealous and we're getting that feeling in our stomach where everything's on fire and this and that. Uh, we don't have the energy to work on our own shit. And what I do to handle these things is I make sure that I have a massive plan that I need to work on. And then I make sure that when I do get competitive or I do get jealous or I do start to get aggravated at other people's shit, that the minute I feel that coming on,

• 44:59Andy Frisella?

  I go to my plan and start executing on my plan. And I think that productivity pivot is one of the most valuable things anybody can learn how to do. Because one, we're no longer looking over here. We're focused on our own thing. Number two, I don't care what anybody says, the most valuable.

• 45:22Andy Frisella?

  Energy that we get is the dark side negative energy. So I would say the fact that you're getting pissed off is pretty good. I think that's a great asset. I would much rather work with someone who felt that way than someone who just like, oh, well, you know, fuck Steve's. Steve's doing it and I'm just happy for him. I would much rather work for the guy who says, I'm gonna fucking stomp on Steve's motherfucking throat. With how successful I'm gonna be. Those people win.

• 45:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:51Andy Frisella?

  And the, the, the reason that those people win is because eventually they figure out how to harness the attention and the, the, the energy and the attention in the right way. So, you know, don't think that, I don't think there's anything wrong with you, bro. Like if you and I were partners, I'd be like, fuck yeah, bro. I love the John fucking, John's got that fire in him, bro. I love that shit, dude. Like that, not many people have that dog, bro. And when you have it, you gotta figure out how to use it because you will hear people say things like this. Well, that negativity will burn you down if you're not careful, says the guy with no money in his bank account. All right? The, the reality is dude, is being a competitor is part of being successful in business.

• 46:35Andy Frisella?

  And you're obviously a competitor because right or wrong, it bothers you when other people win. There's this famous saying in the movie, No Country For Old Men, where. Uh, is it no country? No, it's There Will Be Blood. The movie There Will Be Blood. He says, uh, he said, you, you ever seen that movie?

• 46:55Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 46:56Andy Frisella?

  Okay. You know, at the part, there's a part in the movie where, uh, uh, the main character, uh, Daniel, uh, Day Lewis goes. It's not just that I want to win. I want everybody else to fucking lose. I don't want anybody to have anything. And like, bro, that's the extreme nature of a competitor. And while they may not mean that literally, like, I really don't want people to starve. But, you know, I want to fucking win, bro. Like I'm trying to fucking win. And.

• 47:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:26Andy Frisella?

  And.

• 47:26Speaker 03

  That's the mindset.

• 47:27Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, bro. That's a healthy way to think when you're in business and other people depend on you. I mean, that's a great way to be. And these other fucking people on the internet writing all this feel-good, you know, fucking.

• 47:41Andy Frisella?

  Bullshit gets our minds fucked up like we're competitors. That's what we're supposed to do. You don't fucking talk to a gladiator right before he's going out into the fucking arena and say, hey, I hope you have a peaceful journey, my son. Like, no, you're gonna be like, hey, motherfucker, you better swing that ax as hard as you fucking can and cut that dude's fucking head off. Like, or you're gonna die. You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, like, this is just something that most people aren't cut out for, which is why the most of the advice out here is so fucking off from what it should be. So, anyway, to summarize my little rant here, bro. One, I think it's awesome that you're that you burn hot. Number two, all you gotta do is harness that into your own shit.

• 48:22Andy Frisella?

  It doesn't matter if your buddy's doing it for real or not, but just remember, he's probably lying or exaggerating at least half as much. And for me, I have to, I have to, yeah, bro, I have to remember that because DJ knows this. I'll get so fucking pissed off, dude, that like, and then I have to remind myself, well, they're probably lying, at least half of it's lying. So, you know, take that energy, pour it into your mission, create your mission that's so big, so fucking powerful that it's gonna take your whole entire life to do it, and you won't have time to worry about what the fuck that's doing. And the pro- the thing you gotta be careful of right here is

• 49:03Andy Frisella?

  that you wanna make sure that you don't become beholden to this guy's limits by continuing to compete with this guy who doesn't really have a big plan. A lot of people will really fuck up their lives by competing with the wrong person because the wrong person isn't committed to like a big vision. So, like, you know, like, is it really a win beating someone who's really not got that big of a thing going? That's not really a win. So, you know, let's get clear about, about what's a win for John, what's John trying to do, and then focus on those things. And then when you get, when you get jealous and you get mad and you get angry like we all do, anybody who says

• 49:45Andy Frisella?

  they don't, they're liars. Uh, take that energy and focus it on your plan, bro. And, and before you know it, you'll be so far ahead of everybody else who you used to piss you off, you'll forget that they used to piss you off because a whole new group of people will piss you off.

• 50:02Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, it's the truth. Like, I used to get mad at like, local people that would do stuff, right? And then it would be like, national people. And now, like, I look at fucking people that I honestly shouldn't be looking at at this point. And I'm like, fuck that guy.

• 50:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, right, right.

• 50:15Andy Frisella?

  Like.

• 50:17Speaker 01

  Why, why he still on the phone when I ask you this, Andrew, how should he be handling his best friend? Like, I mean, does he keep it cordial with them?

• 50:22Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, I mean, look, bro, I'd make fun of him. I'd be like, oh, yeah, fucking five houses, alright, yeah. I know you got all the connections, bro. Okay, Donald Trump, you know, like, I'd fucking make fun of him. But like, you know, yeah, dude, I got friends that are full of shit. We all got friends that are full of shit. Part, part of being friends with people is how good and full of shit they are. Like, do they tell a good story? Like, can they make you laugh? Are, are they good people? Like, dude, fish, fish stories, you know, like, they, they.

• 50:53Speaker 01

  Caught the biggest one.

• 50:54Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, bro, it's, it's fucking, it's as old as time. Like, you're not gonna, you're not gonna change people's, you know, like, I, I like people like that. I like people that are a little full of shit. They got funny stories. You, you know, you can't really take them too serious, you know, and then when they start exaggerating their shit, you know, you gotta call them on it. And I think that's what makes good friendships.

• 51:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:15Andy Frisella?

  You know?

• 51:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:17Andy Frisella?

  So.

• 51:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's true. That's good shit, man.

• 51:19Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, and bro, also, I think there's more to that, too. Like, a real winner, like, a real fucking winner, they wanna be friends with other people that are winning, even though it pisses you off, right? People will say, I want all my other friends to win. Yeah, you do, but not because you want them to win. It's because you've learned about yourself, that when other motherfuckers win that are in your vicinity, you are so competitive that you know you will fucking step up to compete with that person. So like, my friends.

• 51:47Speaker 01

  Good to have those people.

• 51:47Andy Frisella?

  My friends, the people I associate with are all successful people, but do not think for a fucking second that I'm not trying to fucking beat them. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's, and they know that. And I know that about them.

• 52:02Speaker 01

  It's understood.

• 52:03Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 52:03Speaker 01

  It's understood.

• 52:04Andy Frisella?

  But they're also the same people that if I call them, I said, hey, man, um, I need to fucking borrow, you know. Money, because I'm low on cash. They'd all be like, all right, how much you need? You know what I mean?

• 52:16Speaker 03

  Right.

• 52:17Andy Frisella?

  So, you know, it's, it's just about learning where you fit in the game and how to navigate these different personalities. And then, you know, most importantly, how to harness our own fire in the right direction. And, uh, bro, I don't think you're a bad guy for thinking that. I think, you know, I think you're an honest guy for thinking that. And I think there's very few honest people that will communicate what you just did here on the show and what I did back to you. But I know for a fucking fact, all the names, all the people that you look up to and maybe watch on social media, they're all the same. They just don't say it on the internet. They're all competitive. They all want to win. They all fucking hate when other people win and then they, they act nice about it, right?

• 53:02Andy Frisella?

  Like, it's bullshit. Fuck. Yeah. Like, I will straight up tell them, like, I'll be like, hey, I'm gonna fucking beat you, bro. Like, I'm gonna beat your ass. And they'll be like, oh, you think so? Like, yeah, I really do. And then we'll smoke a cigar. You know what I'm saying? Like, so it's all good, bro. You know, the best friends you're ever gonna have are the people you compete with. That's the truth. The best friends in the world that I've developed over the course of 25 years in business are people that I've, the people that I've competed with because there's a natural fucking respect that you have that's mutual. You know what I mean?

• 53:37Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah. That's good. I haven't thought of that before. That's awesome.

• 53:40Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. So, how old are you, bro?

• 53:43Speaker 03

  Uh, just turned 32.

• 53:44Andy Frisella?

  Ah, bro, yeah. I didn't figure most of this shit out till I was like after 40. So like, you're way ahead, bro. You're doing good.

• 53:52Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 53:53Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. Love it, man. All right, John. Hey, man. Get a little, uh, get a little swimming at Lake Forest up there. It's a beautiful spot you're at.

• 54:02Speaker 03

  I will. Absolutely.

• 54:04Andy Frisella?

  All right, brother. Well, hey, man.

• 54:08Andy Frisella?

  Keep the fire going dude, that'll take you places. Take you a lot further than

• 54:12Speaker 03

  I will.

• 54:12Andy Frisella?

  Take you a lot further than having inner peace.

• 54:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:16Andy Frisella?

  Crystals and shot.

• 54:17Speaker 03

  I'm gonna learn how to use that dark energy you've been talking about.

• 54:19Andy Frisella?

  I think it's, I think it's 80% of most of the successful people's energy is dark energy, they just don't fucking admit it. So, that's my experience from being around people behind the scenes.

• 54:35Speaker 03

  Love it, man. Yeah, I heard it from the first time from your, your show a couple of years ago.

• 54:40Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 54:41Speaker 03

  Talking about it, it was badass. I've listened to it a few times.

• 54:44Andy Frisella?

  Well, that means you're one of us. So, uh, so, yeah, and if you're fucked up, so am I. So, we can be fucked up together. So.

• 54:53Speaker 03

  That's what it takes.

• 54:54Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, that's right. Alright, brother. Well, hey, man. I appreciate you calling in, dude. And, uh, appreciate all the good work you're doing up there and the hard work you're doing. Keep it up. You know, we need that in the world.

• 55:04Speaker 03

  We will. Absolutely. Thank you.

• 55:06Andy Frisella?

  Alright, brother. We'll talk to you soon.

• 55:08Speaker 03

  Alright, see ya. See you, DJ.

• 55:10Andy Frisella?

  See you, brother.

• 55:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, I just wanted to ask that, that friend question, man, because I feel like some people are like, well, fuck that guy. I won't ever talk to him again.

• 55:18Andy Frisella?

  Nah.

• 55:18Speaker 03

  But see, I'm like, you can use that person.

• 55:20Andy Frisella?

  Not only that, why would I not want to talk to him if he's giving me all kinds of good energy to use? Sometimes you gotta piss yourself off on purpose.

• 55:28Speaker 03

  Fuck, man.

• 55:29Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. Like, bro, when you're really good, like, there's stories about Michael Jordan doing this.

• 55:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:35Andy Frisella?

  Michael Jordan, when Michael Jordan was at the peak of his career, nobody was talking shit on Jordan. Nobody was coming out saying, "Bro, I'm gonna hold Jordan to fucking eight points." It's not fucking happening, bro. So, because everybody talks shit and everybody respects him so much, he started telling himself stories. He fucking would make up stories about what people said about him and then go out on the court and look at the motherfucker in the eye and be like, "I fucking heard what you said about me." And the guy's like, "What?"

• 56:01Speaker 03

  Michael.

• 56:02Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. And he's like, "I fucking heard it. I saw it in the paper. I read it." Like, there's nothing in the paper. You know, like, but this is the psychotic nature of ultra competitors, bro. Like, you have to figure out how to flip the switches on internally to get the result that you want. And sometimes that requires a fucking paranoia imagination, like where you're making shit up, like, "Man, these motherfuckers, they all think they can fucking come take my shit and like, you know, I might go talk to them and they're like, fuck dude." Never even thought about that. Like, I was actually gonna quit my business. You know, like, dude, like, you just, it's just part of being competitive, bro.

• 56:41Andy Frisella?

  So like, we have to fucking understand that, you know, that, that is, that's part of it, dude. You know, sometimes you got, it goes back to what we're saying about zero options. Sometimes you, you have to manufacture that intensity and that urgency and that competitiveness, especially when you're dominant. Like, when you're beating the fuck out of everybody and everybody knows it, now you gotta make something up to prove. You know what I mean? But what I said is the truth, bro. There's never been a fucking, there's never,

• 57:15Andy Frisella?

  this polite niceness and courtesy shit that everybody types on the internet that doesn't win. It's impractical advice. It's written by people who've never won.

• 57:25Speaker 01

  Idealistic. It sounds good.

• 57:27Andy Frisella?

  Listen DJ, I'm just telling you, it's, it's written by people who have never won. And the only motherfuckers who have ever won doing it are these therapists who promised this idealistic bullshit and purposefully victimized people and keep them trapped in their little business cycle. That's the only motherfuckers that win with idealism. Everybody else wins with reality. They win with like, hey, uh, you either do that or you're gonna lose all your shit. I mean, bro, I was just writing this fucking Instagram post, uh, a day or two ago. I haven't posted it yet, but the truth of the matter is,

• 58:05Andy Frisella?

  most people aren't afraid enough of losing. Most people haven't taken the time to consider what their life will look like if they don't change it. And if they could zoom into the future 10, 20, 30 years from now, and like, just live one day in the life of what their current habits are creating, they would change instantly. They would change fucking yesterday. But because they can't feel it, and because they can't notice it, and because it's progressive and slow and imperceptible, people just ride it out, not realizing that it's gonna- Cost them fucking everything down the road, okay? People should be terrified of losing.

• 58:48Andy Frisella?

  You, if you are, if you don't have anything going for you right now, you should be fucking terrified. It is not just going to work out. It is not, this magic fucking fairy is not gonna fly down and hand you an inheritance or get you your shit together. Like, you should be afraid and enough, and people aren't. They're told every day, eh, it's gonna be okay. No, it's not. It's not gonna be okay unless you make it okay. And that's what the world needs to understand. That's what people need to understand. And if the, if people were properly afraid of what their life was gonna look like by continuing on the path they're on, then they would do something about it today. And that's my point of that question too, with the two, uh,

• 59:32Speaker 01

  Sons.

• 59:33Andy Frisella?

  The two sons. If they knew what their life was gonna look like at 25, at 30, at 35, at 40, at 45, because they're unwilling to change now versus what their life could look like, they, they would fucking change. But, you know, who's gonna tell them? Mom's not gonna tell them, because she doesn't want to hurt their fucking feelings. You know what? Sometimes people need their fucking feelings hurt. That's the reality.

• 59:59Speaker 01

  That's real, man.

• 1:00:01Andy Frisella?

  Guys, that's a little midweek pickup right there, man.

• 1:00:03Speaker 01

  Yep. I love it, man. Go get better.

• 1:00:06Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. All right, guys. Don't be a hoe.

• 1:00:10Speaker 01

  Shut the show.