Flow state - with Tony Gonzalez

Get out of your head and get in your HEART! Tony is a Hall of Famer, played 17 seasons in the NFL, holds the record for total receiving yards by a tight end and is second of all-time in receptions. The truth is I’m not only impressed with Tony as a football player but truly admire who he is as a man. This is NOT your normal everyday “athlete “ interview. In fact, we spend very little time on football. Tony is a voracious reader and personal development addict! His insights will ASTOUND you. In this interview, we talk about the REAL separator between the good and the GREATS. You probably wouldn’t guess that Tony was bullied in middle school. He shares about his struggles with this and how it changed the trajectory of his life in a POSITIVE way when he decided he was done being scared. It’s often the fear we feel that is a DIRECT correlation to the very thing we need to LEAN into. Tony learned early on in his NFL career that it wasn’t just about talent and hard work when you get to the highest level. The game changes when you can get in your HEART and stay PRESENT. There is a sweet spot in being goal-oriented and separating from the outcome. When you let go of the outcome you can show up at your BEST from a place of FEARLESSNESS. HARD WORK is the building block of success, but LOVING what you do should be the foundation if you want to be EXCELLENT at it. We also discuss a lot about how meditation and visualization connected him MIND, BODY, and SPIRIT and changed his life on and off the field. He even shares some daily struggles he deals with today, the biggest regret he made as a teammate in the NFL and real advice on what YOU should do if you’re going after a DREAM. I guarantee you will be blown away by Tony and INSPIRED to go out, find the TRUTH of who you are and BECOME it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ed Mylett?

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• 0:45Ed Mylett?

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• 1:08Speaker 01

  This is the Ed Mileage Show.

• 1:16Ed Mylett?

  Welcome back to Max Out, everybody. I have a Hall of Famer next to me. It's not every day you get to sit next to a Hall of Famer. 17-year NFL career, like a bazillion different records. Transformed the position of tight end in the NFL. I didn't know this. Second all-time in the NFL in receptions, regardless of position.

• 1:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:35Ed Mylett?

  Although there's a dude getting really close to you.

• 1:36Speaker 02

  He's gonna break it probably here in the next couple of days.

• 1:38Ed Mylett?

  Next couple of days, actually. But I'm actually, I've got to learn more about you because of all of our mutual friends. And I want to talk a little football, but I'm more impressed with the man and who you've become and where you came from. So, thank you for being here. It's Tony Gonzalez, everybody.

• 1:51Speaker 02

  Thanks, bud. Good to be here.

• 1:51Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, great to have you. So, we'll go football in a little bit.

• 1:55Speaker 02

  Sure, you want to talk football, we can talk football.

• 1:56Ed Mylett?

  Well, one thing I want to do is congratulate you because you just became a member of the Hall of Fame.

• 2:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:01Ed Mylett?

  Right? So, I want to go all the way back to when you were a little guy because I was fascinated. I kind of fell in love with this little boy that I've been learning about, right? But before- Before I do that, what is it like? I've had Marshall Faulk on, I've had T.O. on. What is it like to join that group and be a Hall of Famer?

• 2:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's great. It's not something that you play for from the beginning. Nobody, at least for me, I never sat out and said, you know what? I never even sat out saying I'm gonna play in the NFL. I was just, I just wanted to be on the, be a good player.

• 2:27Ed Mylett?

  Really?

• 2:27Speaker 02

  On my team back in Pop Warner, which I wasn't. Uh, but that's a whole different story. But when you get to the NFL, you start putting together seasons. And so you start getting better, you start leveling up. Uh, and then all of a sudden you go to one Pro Bowl, then you go to two Pro Bowls. And even then, I'm not thinking, okay, Hall of Famer, but, you know, considered one of the best ever. That's something that the media starts to put on you. And people, when you get to like seven Pro Bowls now, eight Pro Bowls, people are like, hey, you know what, man? You can, you can make, probably make the Hall of Fame. And then it starts to dawn on you. And I think at that point, you're like, well, I hope so. Because I've been doing pretty well for a long time, so I hope it's in consideration at least.

• 3:04Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 3:05Speaker 02

  But once you get there, that's when it really, really hits you.

• 3:09Ed Mylett?

  Did it hit you when you got the call? I noticed, I saw the video of when the guy tells you.

• 3:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:13Ed Mylett?

  What was that like?

• 3:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, the big old guy, uh, you know, he's.

• 3:16Ed Mylett?

  He's a big dude.

• 3:17Speaker 02

  Biggest head ever, David, his name's David. Uh, he is, he is one of the best guys ever. But yeah, when you, when you, when it finally, when they tell you, because you also, I knew I had a good chance.

• 3:28Ed Mylett?

  Of course.

• 3:29Speaker 02

  And, and I had my family out there to come celebrate if, if it comes. But you never really, really know. And so when I saw, uh, him come around the corner, I was like, man, this is, this is really, really happening. And it kinda hit me a little bit and I look around and, uh, my, um, my, my wife has some tears in her eyes. Uh, she's FaceTiming my kids back home so they could see it. Uh, and that's when it, that's when it comes together. Yeah, it's great for me, but it's really about the people that have been with me from the beginning. My brothers, my, my mom, my uncles, uh, the, the guys that I've played with. I had some guys that I had played with, uh, throughout my career there with me as well. And so that's. That's really what it's all about. That's what going to that three day event is about. Seeing all these old guys that you looked up to, that you idolized when you were a kid,

• 4:13Speaker 02

  and now you're considered one of them. There's only 326 of us now.

• 4:17Ed Mylett?

  Unbelievable.

• 4:18Speaker 02

  In the history, 100 year history of the NFL. That's when you start to realize, okay, this is, this is freaking huge. And, uh, and it feels good, but I'm so glad that, that I got to bring my family along with it. And so my kids get a chance to see that, especially the younger ones who never got to see me play. They got to see me up on that stage and see me recognized, uh, for something that I poured my heart into, that I tell them to do every day. Like pour your heart into something. And they get to see the kind of the culmination of it. So maybe that's a little carrot for them to, to grasp for.

• 4:43Ed Mylett?

  Congratulations.

• 4:43Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 4:44Ed Mylett?

  That's incredible, man. Like, uh, it's, it's more incredible just because of when I went back. I don't know. I see a guy like you, what are you, 6'5"?

• 4:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, 6'5".

• 4:54Ed Mylett?

  6'5", built like an Adonis, good looking dude, you know, obviously a very confident person at this stage of your life, at least externally. I'm thinking, he's probably always been this way. You know, and, uh, just he kind of won the, the pool of life. And then I start to read about you. I'm like, I should know better. That's never really the case.

• 5:11Speaker 02

  Never.

• 5:12Ed Mylett?

  And so I go back and I look at this little guy who, tell us a little bit about it because what I love about you, because we're both, there's this in common, we're both sort of like personal development, self-awareness addicts.

• 5:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:24Ed Mylett?

  Who want to know more about ourselves and want to learn and grow. And I was fascinated about that with you. You're a little boy, you, you really, really struggle with your self-confidence and you're even bullied, right?

• 5:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:33Ed Mylett?

  Would you tell, would you tell that story? Cause I think it's just unbelievable. But your graduation, you're at a graduation, you got this bully after you. It's hard to picture, but I think it'll help a lot of the young people that listen to this or, or parents who have young people.

• 5:44Speaker 02

  Yeah. And that's, that's why I tell this story for the most part. Uh, because there's kids out there that are getting bullied. And, and I was the, the big bad, uh, you, you look at me like, okay, football player, like he's never had any problems.

• 5:57Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 5:57Speaker 02

  And, uh, I was at my eighth grade graduation. First of all, this bully was bullying me the whole year long. He came from high school. I never really saw him because I was afraid. And people were like, yeah, he's, he's, he's a tough guy. Uh, he's driving down from the high school. I'm in eighth grade in junior high. Uh, I always told him, I still don't know why he wanted to fight me or whatever.

• 6:16Ed Mylett?

  Really?

• 6:16Speaker 02

  Um, it's, it's actually a really funny story. I, I agreed to fight him. And because he called me on the phone and I had been ducking him every day. And he and I say, okay, well, give me, give me a chance to train for, for the fight. He goes, all right, well, we'll sit, we set the date for the fight like two or three weeks later. Wow. And the, and I'm in the serious, I'm in the garage like training, like I'm gonna fight this guy and I'm, and I obviously I had the ability, I, I probably could have beat his ass. Right. I was just so scared and also before that I was scared to play football. It was funny, they were, I was just a scared little kid for whatever, no confidence. Uh, anyway, long story short, the day of the fight comes, I'm going to the fight, I'm by myself. Nobody likes me at school now, I'm the, this is back in the eighties too. So, you know, you were a wimp.

• 7:01Speaker 02

  I couldn't go to a teacher and talk about this or the teachers would be like, I don't care. What are you gonna do? Uh, cause I'm sure the whole school knew about it. Cause I go to the fight and I think every other school knew about it in our district too. And the high school, cause there was a thousand kids there. There's a thousand kids. At the park, down the street from my house too. Uh, there must have been, if I'm looking from there, I'm talking, I don't know if you had school fights. By the way, sure. School fights don't happen anymore, at least for my kids. When we were kids, they happened all the time. Right, right. My, my 18 year old, he, he's never seen a fight, never seen a fight in 18 years. Going through the school system, which is a good thing, I guess. Really good, but the school fights I had didn't have a thousand people at them though. There's like eight guys at the bike rack, right? Like, no, this was a scheduled school fight.

• 7:45Speaker 02

  The scheduled school fights always had a lot of people there. I mean, I'd go there and watch, okay, I can't wait to see this one. You know, it's gonna be a good one. Right. So anyways, I, I turn around, I go back home. Uh, and then they're all at my house, like banging on the door, trying to get me to come out. And so next day I go back to school. I mean, it's even worse than it was before and I ride that out until graduation. Graduation comes, everybody throws their hat up. I go and hide behind a wall because he shows up and my whole family's there, my aunts and uncles. And they, and they're looking for me and I'm hiding behind this wall and it was like, they come up, walking slowly and they're looking for me and they see me hiding. And everybody knows what's going on with me.

• 8:26Speaker 02

  And the disappointment I saw on my mom's face and the disappointment I saw on my older brother Chris's face. That did it for me. I was like, I'm so tired of being afraid. And I will, I will never ever see that look on their face again. I don't ever want to feel like this again, ever in life, and I have never felt like that ever since. It just.

• 8:44Ed Mylett?

  No big game, no dude you had to block ever in your career, nothing.

• 8:47Speaker 02

  Like, don't get me wrong, the, the fear will, will, will come there. But I was like, I can't run anymore. I, I, I have to face it. I have to. Uh, and I'm gonna scratch and claw to do whatever it takes. And that was one of, that's the first and probably one of the biggest life lessons I've ever had in my life. Because after that, football took off for me. I get to the, I go to high school the next year. I actually went looking for him. Well, I was gonna go fight him at that point, but I couldn't find him at that point. Uh, and I never did, and people are always like, hey, do you end up?

• 9:13Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, what happened?

• 9:14Speaker 02

  Well, I always, I always tell people, yeah, I kicked the shit out of him a couple of years later, but I didn't. It didn't happen. Uh, I did see him though, at a, at a high school, uh, when I was a junior now, now I'm the same height I am now. I was one of those big old kids and I'm looking down on him now and I'm like, I could just pummel this guy right here if I wanted to. But anyways, um, that, that changed everything, uh, for me.

• 9:35Ed Mylett?

  What changed?

• 9:35Speaker 02

  Everything.

• 9:36Ed Mylett?

  What do you think changed?

• 9:37Speaker 02

  It's good confidence, just a belief in yourself. Just a, and really going through the fear, like when that fear comes up, like it does for all of us in life, all of us. You gotta like take a couple of deep breaths and just go do it. Go do it, especially if it's something you want to do. I always say, people are like, like, I'm not gonna, I don't, I'm not interested in bungee jumping. That scares the shit out of me, no, but I don't want to do it, so I don't care. I'm not gonna do it. But last year I jumped out of a plane.

• 10:01Ed Mylett?

  You did?

• 10:02Speaker 02

  I'm afraid of that too. But do you want to do it? No. Okay, you don't want to do it, there's no, see, I had an interest. I've always wanted to do that. I wanted to fly, I wanted to feel like the wind hit my face.

• 10:10Ed Mylett?

  I won't even zipline.

• 10:12Speaker 02

  But you don't, but you don't want to do it?

• 10:14Ed Mylett?

  I don't, I know exactly what you're saying, but my, my whole audience is like, they just unsubscribed, but.

• 10:19Speaker 02

  You want to be ziplined, that's fun.

• 10:21Ed Mylett?

  No, I'm telling you, anything in the air where I may not be in complete control. Not only am I afraid of it, but like what you said, it's, I don't want to do it, right? Now, I know what you're talking about. There are things that you're afraid of that you want to do, whether that's like public speaking.

• 10:34Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 10:34Ed Mylett?

  Or those things, if you push through them, I completely agree with you. So you jumped out of the damn airplane?

• 10:38Speaker 02

  Jumped out of the airplane, it felt good. I felt when I hit the bottom, it was like. And I've been dealing with this for years and I've always had this relationship with fear, they try to go with fears, but I finally said. Fuck it, I'm gonna do it.

• 10:50Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 10:51Speaker 02

  And it was, it really, it kinda changed things for me after that.

• 10:54Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, no, I know what you're saying. I would just second it. I did, I, you're gonna think this is nuts. He jumps out of a plane, I'm afraid to zipline, right? But there's a huge zipline in Idaho where we live. I'm talking way up in the trees, hundreds and hundreds of feet in the air, and I did it, kinda similar to your bullying thing, because my kids wanted to go. And like, they can't see their dad afraid to do this. But there's something about even something small like that, when you push through that fear and you complete it, you're like, there's just something about your identity that changes to some extent, right? Like, I felt better about myself, so I ain't jumping out of an airplane, but I definitely relate to it.

• 11:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:28Ed Mylett?

  So, one thing about the bullying thing I wanted to mention to you, because I know you get mentioned to this a lot too, is bullying's different than when we were kids, because at least when we were kids, and I was bullied too, and I was afraid, very similar situation, um, we could at least escape at our house. Now, the bullying follows you home, from texting, from Facebook, from Instagram, there's cyberbullying too. And so, if you are a kid out there being bullied, you gotta face that fear, but also now, it's a different world. You can get help, there's people that wanna help you, talk to a teacher, talk to your parents. I wanna make sure we mention that for all the kids, right?

• 12:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, for sure. Yeah, it's good to mention that.

• 12:01Ed Mylett?

  So, um, I gotta, I gotta ask you a couple of things that I see that you talk about. When you were playing in your career, you started, maybe it is before your career. What you're known for, I think, for people that know you, I think remark constantly on how curious you are. Just a curious person, you wanna grow and change. You started doing a lot of reading about non-football things when you played.

• 12:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:25Ed Mylett?

  Who influenced you when you were reading, and why'd you start doing it?

• 12:28Speaker 02

  Uh, my brothers, this is a story I tell all the time, so I'll make it quick. Um, I was having a horrible second year. Led the NFL and dropped passes, uh, got benched twice, uh, got booed by the home crowd, got written up in the papers that I was going on the verge of being a bust. And, uh, and I was first round draft choice, I'd never been booed.

• 12:46Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, right, you were a great player.

• 12:47Speaker 02

  And so, and so that, that put me in a little bit of a depression. And it just seems, you know, and people out there know, like, when you're in a depression, it's just, it's kinda like self-sabotage. Because you're, the way you talk to yourself is- is for instance with as a football player when the ball is getting thrown to me it was don't drop it don't drop it because I dropped it last time and you have to switch that inner dialogue to I got this and I'm gonna catch this but I didn't have that and it kept getting worse and worse and worse I started drinking I started going through like I said it was it was bad and my one of my my adopted brothers Donnie sent me a little letter and said Tony that is not you get back to the real you and he sent me a book of quotes by Vincent Lombardi and I loved him they were they were unbelievable quotes like I always tell the one um

• 13:32Speaker 02

  the greatest moment in a man's life is when he lies totally exhausted on the battlefield glorious and and I loved it and it spoke to me because that's that's the shit I needed to hear because I didn't know I had gotten by on talent and hard work which can take you far but eventually when you get to the professional ranks what's gonna separate you is your brain and your heart and how you can connect those two I've noticed that with Hall of Fame players Hall of Fame businessmen whatever it is people that are great whatever they do they know how to get into their heart and I didn't know how to do that and I was scared and so what do you mean by that that's awesome what do you mean by get into their heart I think that is where flow is that is where the zone is and and you hear it all the time

• 14:14Speaker 02

  anybody who's ever played sports your coaches at one point or another is gonna say play with heart today you go out there you gotta play with your heart and a lot of us athletes we don't know what the hell that means and so I've decided I've I've had to figure out what that meant and for me when you're in your heart there was no fear of judgment there is there is presence they're not worried about the last player or the forward play there is complete confidence in yourself it's safe that's where you want to be you're not worried and so that's what poise is that's what Tom Brady is is in the pocket that's what I I had to I didn't know how to get to that point that's a mental thing that has nothing to do with your physical you can work lift weights till the till the cows come home and you will never get there if you you'll never be as good as you can be unless you learn how to play with your heart and that's what these books

• 14:59Speaker 02

  that's what that's what this show is about that's what that's what I'm about now is how can I get people to get in their heart how how can I stay in my heart and so once I learned I was doing that without even knowing that that that you gotta be fearless oh you gotta put the work in too but you have to love what you do you have to love it because if you don't love it You won't do it. You won't put in the extra. You won't stay after practice if you don't love it. And so I had to fall in love with football like Walter Payton did. Because off of that book, Vincent Lombardi, I started, I read biographies about Walter Payton, Jerry Rice. Started reading about Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, great business leaders, great musicians. And there's a common theme there. If you really look at everybody's story, first of all, they love what they do.

• 15:44Speaker 02

  I'm talking to true movers and shakers.

• 15:46Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 15:46Speaker 02

  You can get by on hard work and in your mind, in your head. But there's a point, you're gonna, there's a cap there.

• 15:54Ed Mylett?

  You're so right.

• 15:55Speaker 02

  But as soon as you get in your heart, man, you can, you enjoy it so much better. You'll really see how good you really, really are. But you have to open your heart in order to get into it.

• 16:04Ed Mylett?

  Oh my god. So for like 10 years, I, my primary message was if you're gonna win at the highest levels, you win with your heart and not your head.

• 16:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:14Ed Mylett?

  And so like you, people will look at someone like you, say, okay, 6'5", 250, runs a 4.5, whatever it was, right? But that separator is you get out of your head. And in business, if it's the way you make your phone calls, or your scripts, or your systems in your company, that'll get you to a professional level. But that separator is in that flow state, right? Because what should happen is you should become so skilled and proficient in what you do, that the actual physical activity is reflexive. And you're in that flow heart state. So I'm blown away that you actually describe it in that way. Cause I've never heard an athlete actually say it to me that way before. So anybody, authors that you read, I read, you read Wayne Dyer.

• 16:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, Wayne Dyer. Actually, I actually saw him speak while I was out in Kansas City.

• 16:53Ed Mylett?

  You did.

• 16:53Speaker 02

  Deepak Chopra, there's the Celestine Prophecies, there's, I love the spirituality books that all have to do with being the best version, mind, body, and spirit. You have to connect those three things in order to be the best you can be. You can, I'm sure you've seen this too.

• 17:08Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 17:09Speaker 02

  It doesn't matter how many. How much money you make, or how many girls you got, or whatever, I mean, that, all that stuff. True fulfillment and joy is what you're after, is what you should be after. And you want to get there as easy as possible. So I had to develop ways and mindsets. And I continued to do that after my second year. I was always interested, okay, okay, what about nutrition? Okay, what about meditation? What about visualization? You know, and really studying the greats. Obviously, success leaves clues, okay? So you're gonna go out there and you're gonna, you can study people. It's already been done. Copy genius. And then you add your own shit on top of that to whatever, you know, you kind of customize it to yourself.

• 17:49Ed Mylett?

  Yeah. Guys, this is why Tony has a new podcast. And this is why I think a lot of people think, oh, I get to listen to this football player's podcast. There's, you already seen, there's layers. Way deeper than that. So what's the podcast called, by the way? Cause I, I'm already a fan of the podcast just because I'm talking to you. I want to hear more of what you have to say on all of these topics. So the podcast is called?

• 18:11Speaker 02

  It's called Wide Open.

• 18:11Ed Mylett?

  Wide Open, okay. And they can get it on any platform. You guys go check that out. And also, I want, we always do this at the end. We might as well do it right now when they're like, wow. Right now, people are driving or working out or watching this like, that's a, whoa, there's a lot of depth there. Not that, I think people make some assumptions sometimes that, you know, we're only gonna talk football here today. So where do they, how do they find you on social media?

• 18:31Speaker 02

  Um, on all major podcast platforms. Tony Gonzalez eighty-eight is my Twitter handle.

• 18:36Ed Mylett?

  Okay, on Twitter, on Instagram too?

• 18:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:38Ed Mylett?

  Same on Instagram too?

• 18:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:39Ed Mylett?

  So, one of the things I loved that I read about you too, cause you just mentioned is meditation. And so you do, how'd you start? And then you do like a six step or process type meditation, don't you?

• 18:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:50Ed Mylett?

  Talk about that.

• 18:50Speaker 02

  Well, I, I think visualization and meditation are kind of, kind of the same thing. And so, realize that a lot of, like Michael Jordan did visualization, Tiger Woods did this. And people are doing it, they probably don't even know it.

• 19:03Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 19:03Speaker 02

  That if you're constantly looking ahead, seeing your best version of yourself. But there's ways to do it even better. And so I got, I got into visualization a lot. I would, before every football game. Really, every night before I went to bed, I would see myself playing the plays from the day and see myself doing them perfectly. But really before the game, I would take twenty Minutes, I'd go down to into my bed, get on the floor and I would close my eyes and I would start breathing deeply. And I relax my body and then I would visualize the game, but not just visualizing the game in the sense of, okay, seeing my, I would see the details, I'd see, I'd feel the sweat on my face, I would, I would smell the grass, I'd see the dirt, I'd see the crowd cheering me on. I'd see my coach cheering me on, telling me, good job. I'd see myself catching balls, I'd see myself ad-libbing, I'd see myself in the moment.

• 19:47Speaker 02

  Uh, playing with that open heart that I talk about, uh, and, and nine times, ninety-five percent of the time, it would turn out exactly how I was visualizing it. And so since I've gotten done playing, uh, the meditation, uh, I do, I have my, this is my routine, I'll just tell you that, um. Every morning, when I wake up, the first thing I do, I don't even open my eyes, I just keep my eyes closed and, uh, I relax my body again. And if you're, first of all, if you feel like you want to go back to sleep, you didn't get enough sleep, so that's a whole different subject, because sleep is so important. But, so now you're there, you, you start to relax your body, I picture my heart opening up. And I picture a light coming out, and this is very, uh, there's this guy named Vishen Lakiani, he taught me the six-stage meditation that he does.

• 20:30Speaker 02

  And I've kind of taken that, like I said, copy genius, and then put your own version on it and come up with your own thing that works best for you. And this is what I've done off of his, so he's the one who started this, some, this visualization. So my heart is opening up, I feel that light coming in, and then I get into the heart, we talked about it, and I picture joy, I picture fulfillment, I picture, uh, compassion, kindness, I picture fearlessness, I picture power, unlimited ability, I feel all that light, that's what that light represents to me. And I feel it shooting out of my body into the room and around the neighborhood and around the globe and me touching everything and seeing everything as, as God, seeing everything as connected. And then, now my heart is open and then I put the visualization in there.

• 21:12Speaker 02

  Now I see myself in three years where I'm gonna be, which is Vishen, uh, or three to five years, see the best version of myself. Then I see myself doing this, what is my day gonna be like, if I'm gonna go there now, I see myself being part of world positive businesses, see myself doing a great podcast, see myself being on the main desk. Fox or whatever it is, you see the greatest version of yourself. You build this greatest story yourself. Uh, even as you see yourself in a great shape and you see yourself eating great food and then you then you see your day going that way. Uh, you just map out your whole day and science, this is all backed by science. Now this isn't woo woo shit out there. If you're listening to this. This is real. Now look it up. This is, this is, this is cognitive dissonant. This is neuroplasticity of your brain. This is,

• 21:57Speaker 02

  this is you creating your, your, your story. It, it absolutely is real stuff. Uh, quantum physics shows the electrodes that you put up to your brain. They've done it to athletes. For the athletes out there listening, when I was doing that visualization, your muscles are firing. You're creating that muscle memory, those habits. Your brain is going to associate what it's most comfortable with. So be sure to put positive images in your brain because that's what, that's what's going to consider normal now and it becomes normal. So it's, it's kind of like that fake it till you make it, the old saying, but it's, but it's real now. Now it's backed by science and this stuff will, will help you be the best version that you can be.

• 22:34Ed Mylett?

  Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Hey guys, I want to step aside for a second and tell you about the first ever sponsor of the Max Out Podcast. So as you know, I've never had a sponsor before because I didn't want to have somebody that was endorsing the show that didn't have a product that I really believed could help you or that I used myself. And so for a while now, I've been using this app called the XPT breathing app and I love it. And the reason is, is that it helps you in your physical and mental game, right? And both areas, which you know, I'm a huge believer in pushing ourselves physically and mentally and most fitness apps, so to speak, that are out there are great, but you know, they work on workout techniques or getting your abs to be six packs or, you know, diet, that type of thing.

• 23:15Ed Mylett?

  And when my friend Laird Hamilton, who's a legendary big wave surfer, told me about this app that he partnered on with Gabrielle Reese, who's another legendary athlete, I thought, you know what? I'll use it because of their reputation. But after I started using it, I saw a huge difference in my ability to recover in my mental and physical game, and I want that for you guys as well. And so I'm really proud. They're one of the first sponsors of the show. The app's built on the fundamentals of breathe, move and recover, which I believe. Even and it powers you to kind of push your own boundaries, both physically and kind of mentally. And you're going to see in many ways, it really makes a difference in your self-confidence and your ability to perform, recover, just the way you feel about yourself. Other athletes like Aaron Rodgers,

• 23:56Ed Mylett?

  one of the greatest quarterbacks in the NFL, Kevin Durant uses the app, US military, tons of different Olympic athletes. And now they've made this thing available and the real secret of the app is the breathing programming. That's the part I love the most. And it kind of takes all the techniques from around the world in recovery. That really haven't been taught to everyday people before for both the mind and the body. And I think you're going to love it. And so XPT's move program consists of a bunch of kind of customizable training program and daily workouts. And recovery things as well. But what's really cool is my audience gets it for free. And that's what I'm most fired up about. So if you go to XPTlife.com, forward slash my let, you can download the app and it's free.

• 24:39Ed Mylett?

  So again, go to XPTlife.com forward slash my let, and download the app for free. You're going to thank me for it. It's going to make a big difference in your life, guys. They told me this was going to be good, but I didn't. So I just want to step back for a second there. That was awesome. Everybody, I just want to make sure one thing about the visualization aspect, one of the things I've noticed with, I've worked with pro athletes and then I've worked with some Hall of Fame athletes. The specificity with which they visualize is are two different levels. What you were just saying about how specific the sweat, for those of you that are business people, or your mothers, or you're running a foundation, it's the specificity. You may think you visualize, but the elite, elite level performers visualize much more specifically with much more clarity. They build the muscle of being great.

• 25:24Ed Mylett?

  Visualizers, I want to make sure that you're all just processing that for a second. And then this idea that you're literally rewiring the myelin in your brain and the neuroplasticity aspects of it. You are literally conditioning your mind and your body to work together when you're doing what Tony's describing to you right here. Please spend more time learning about this because it's the commonality blows my mind between the mega, the best pastors I know, the best mothers I know, the best business people I know, the top athletes. There's these lines that start running together and it's some of the things that you just shared. I'm so impressed that you do that and that you're refining it. What's one snap mentality?

• 26:03Speaker 02

  Uh, well, I think it's that's kind of the presence, at least for me. It's it's that one snap and clear it is a big thing you hear in the NFL.

• 26:10Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 26:10Speaker 02

  And that just means staying in the moment. That means each play that you go is all that matters. And then, once it's over, it's done.

• 26:17Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 26:17Speaker 02

  You're not worried about the past or the future. Uh, and that is a great place to be because people know how, you know, it it can start to steamroll you if you start worrying about the last drop pass, in my instance. Or if I'm on television, like, oh, shoot, I messed that last segment up.

• 26:33Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 26:33Speaker 02

  Uh, I was stumbling on my words. If you're thinking about that, now you're not present. You're not in the moment. Takes away your focus. And that's what meditation does. It helps memory and it helps your focus. That's why I do it. I do it twice a day, by the way.

• 26:43Ed Mylett?

  Do you do anything else to present? Help me with this. I talk a lot about being present. And it's interesting when you're someone who preaches it. And then I'm, I still regularly catch myself not being. And I mean, in every area. It could be in a business meeting. It could be, could be I come home with my kids and there's just days I'm not. Do you have any like triggers or mechanisms or is it just like you're self-aware, like I'm doing it again? Do you do anything like that?

• 27:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think everybody, like if I'm driving down the street, uh, like I said before, when I'm, when I see that visualization in the morning, that helps me set, set the tone for my day. Uh, but like, I catch myself with people, you know, with my kids. I have four kids. And so when I come down in the morning, the kids are down there, I try to really look them in the eye and stay present with them and tell myself, stay present, open your heart. That's a lot. That's kind of like my reminder. Anytime that I feel like I'm slipping a little bit, I'll say, okay, get in your heart, Tony. Get in your heart. And I just learned this. This, this literally is, has been a part of my routine for the last two months.

• 27:40Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 27:40Speaker 02

  Of get in your heart.

• 27:42Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 27:42Speaker 02

  Uh, and there's, there's certain things too, like if I see certain numbers on the clock, uh, it's, I always see the number forty-four.

• 27:50Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 27:51Speaker 02

  I'll see one, one, one. I'll, and I think those are little reminders from, this might be a little weird for some people.

• 27:57Ed Mylett?

  It's not weird at all to me.

• 27:58Speaker 02

  Like, the universe or God or whatever you think, the higher power is sending me, okay, remind myself. That's what that means to me. When I see those numbers, okay, get focused, get centered. You constantly just keep reminding yourself.

• 28:07Ed Mylett?

  Dude, I gotta tell you, it's so good because that's actually, in, in the things that I teach, that's called a Trigger and the best people find triggers to bring them back because humans are constantly going to gravitate off course. So seeing these numbers, it's just a trigger. By the way, if you've watched me in the interview, I've snapped my fingers maybe like 11 times already. One of my triggers to get into a great state or a hyper present state is this, it's just a trigger for me. It may sound corny to most people listening. It could be, your trigger can be, you can learn to build triggers, by the way. Triggers can be what the you, you're seeing your hand on your car door every single morning. And that hand on your car puts you into that superwoman state or that focus state. And it's just a reminder when you see for you, it's numbers for me, it might be a movement for some people.

• 28:51Ed Mylett?

  So it's not corny to me. It's like, it's, it's the stuff that I started the show for. It's like not just the generic, hey, be motivated, be grateful. How do I do that? Right? And that's why I've done the show. I'm wondering, I was reading about you and there's obviously, there's something I think special. I don't like when I tell someone on my show that they're special because then I think it gives other people an out like, well, of course he's one, he's special. But I think you've, you've developed special characteristics about yourself.

• 29:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:21Ed Mylett?

  And for me in my life, I've had, I've modeled people, like you said, copy great people. There's elements of me that I've modeled in every area. There's things I do that are my mom, things I watched my mother do. I was reading about, I think it's your stepdad. What role, he was a pretty prominent man in your life, was he not? Yeah. Talk about him a little bit.

• 29:40Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, but, but just out of respect for my, I have a biological father too that I respect. But they got divorced when I was really, really young.

• 29:46Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 29:46Speaker 02

  Uh, and then my stepdad, Michael Saltzman, a little Jewish guy. You know, he came into my life when we were on welfare before that. Uh, struggled a little bit, government cheese type stuff, single parent. Uh, just my mother and my biological brother, Chris at this time. We met Michael, uh, and everything changed. Uh, we went from that low income housing to middle class housing. We weren't rich by any means, but middle class, good stuff. And, and, uh, his. thirst for knowledge. This is something that I was, that I'd never seen before in my life. Nothing against my family.

• 30:19Ed Mylett?

  Sure.

• 30:20Speaker 02

  Uh, but they weren't academics per se. You know, they were, they were your blue collar type people, which is fine too. But I never really worried about, you know, studying like all of a sudden I see a, a male role model reading books now. And having higher conversations, using big words, uh, which I'd never been around. And so, and, and he took an active interest in me and my brother where he became my father. He, he is my father. I have two fathers. How cool is that? You know? Takes a village, by the way. And so that's really helped me. I have an older son who's 18, uh, who I was with his mother from after age one. And a stepfather came into his life and a lot of people, at first I was a little like, who the hell are you? Don't come in trying to take control of my family, whatever. Yeah, that's my son.

• 31:05Speaker 02

  But then the maturity says, hey, he's got two dads. So I, I digress a little bit there. So for people out there, if you have, I, I think it takes a village. You should really embrace. When a, a stepdad or stepmom comes into your life, maybe it's not with you, maybe it's with your ex. But the influence that, that he had on me was so profound, uh, in all aspects of my life. Just how to treat people, how to look people in the eye, uh, how to be curious. That's probably where I got the curiosity in my life. Cause he was always asking questions. Like I couldn't come to him and be like, hey, help me with my homework. In fact, that was the worst thing to go ask him for help with homework, even though he was a 1300, 1400 SAT guy. Graduated from University of Miami, just a brilliant, brilliant man.

• 31:50Speaker 02

  Uh, it was always like, well, you gotta do this for your own. Well, why don't you ask, he, he would ask you a question if you ask him a question back.

• 31:56Ed Mylett?

  Really?

• 31:56Speaker 02

  And so it wasn't like he's just gonna give it to you. And so, yeah, I learned a lot from him. It was a big influence in my life.

• 32:01Ed Mylett?

  I think it's, uh, I think that's a word that I would use to define you getting to know you better is curious. You seem to be curious about life. I think it keeps you young. It keeps you happy. It keeps you humble.

• 32:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:10Ed Mylett?

  Um, when you're curious, it means you know, you don't know everything.

• 32:13Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 32:13Ed Mylett?

  And that there's things outside of you. Um, I, I, I'm, I'm, I ask you something I didn't even have in here. I'm just, I'm listening to you. I'm so impressed. What do you struggle with right now?

• 32:22Speaker 02

  Um.

• 32:24Ed Mylett?

  Like really, day to day, you know, you got, you're on television, you've got the show, you've got a beautiful family. I'm told you have a great relationship with your wife. I know none of these things are ever perfect at any given time. But what do you, what do you struggle with most days?

• 32:37Speaker 02

  Um, I think my, my, my struggle is probably being organized. Uh, I struggle with being on time. I was late showing up.

• 32:44Ed Mylett?

  You were late. Not that late.

• 32:46Speaker 02

  Uh, I think the organization part of my life could be better. Uh, one thing that I've been working on that I did struggle with and I'm, and I'm working through it right now. I guess I'm in the middle of working through my, my struggle. Um, is kind of, kind of presence, like, like, uh, really recognizing uh, and surrendering my judgments, I guess. Which my wife is a very funny person and so, but there's a fine line funny is, and I mean funny. I know what you mean. People are like, oh, my wife is a funny, like you meet my wife, like she's pretty, she's damn funny.

• 33:22Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 33:23Speaker 02

  Witty, but a lot of witty comes from judgment.

• 33:26Ed Mylett?

  Assessing people, right?

• 33:27Speaker 02

  Assessing people and pointing out their, their problems and stuff. Uh, and I'm not as funny as her. And so when, when I'm looking at people. If I'm making, if I'm judging them, it's probably coming from a place of, of more of like, like true judgment.

• 33:42Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 33:43Speaker 02

  Like, how could you? When she's making a joke of it and everybody's laughing at it, uh, maybe it's more mean spirited with me. But I've, I've really, really made a real effort to, to, to just, just kind of surrender. Uh, and some people hate that word. I had Tom Bilyeu on my podcast and.

• 34:01Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 34:02Speaker 02

  He was like, no, not surrender, not surrender. It seemed like he didn't like that word. I don't, the way it came off, but really just to accept, I guess. Maybe that's a better, accept what's happening and, and try to, and live in the moment. That's hard to do because I'm, I was in my fucking head a lot.

• 34:17Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 34:17Speaker 02

  And I gotta, I'm trying to be in my heart. Everything that I'm telling you right now, that this is all, like I said, that's all new for me. I've kind of been able to articulate, I can't, put it this way. I could do it on the football field. I want to take what I was able to do so well on a football field. Where I didn't give a shit about what people thought.

• 34:34Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 34:35Speaker 02

  I was, I was doing my own routine. People could make fun of me. I didn't care. Uh, I had. The what my verbal talk, my my my

• 34:44Ed Mylett?

  Internal dialogue.

• 34:45Speaker 02

  The internal dialogue was was on point. Really, really was. I could get in the zone just like that. Every year, you knew what you were gonna get from me. I didn't struggle with that. And I want to take that into my daily life. I want to be able to have a conversation. I want to see somebody coming down the street. And I that's that's where I guess is probably the biggest thing where I'm I'm opening my heart to everybody, to every situation. And that's scary. It's scary to do that. But what's wrong with saying hello to somebody in the elevator? What's wrong with saying hello to somebody as you walk past them on the street? What are we really afraid of? And I'm kind of getting out of that. And you catch people off guard.

• 35:22Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 35:23Speaker 02

  And that's kind of that's that's where I'm at this point, really opening my heart to every aspect of my life.

• 35:27Ed Mylett?

  A great answer. The reason I asked you was someone asked me recently on a private coaching session, like, well, what do you struggle with? And my answer was very similar to yours. And what I and it's very similar to what you said. I said, sometimes the good version of me doesn't transcend the environment I'm in. Meaning, the best version of me works in places where I'm comfortable, but I I struggle with transcending any environment of being the best me. And that's really what you're saying. So football, the best version of me being in my heart existed all the time. I wasn't worried about judgment. But it didn't transcend to an environment in the real world off the football field.

• 36:04Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 36:04Ed Mylett?

  And so that was mine, too. It was kind of like, you know, am I able to do that in my public life when there's, you know, maybe a lot of people wanting to meet me at a certain place or naturally I'm introverted, very introverted, even though I'm in public and I speak on stages. So is the best version of me always present, you know, in certain settings where I'm uncomfortable, you know, socially? And so that's the stuff that I struggle with, too. And you should be asking yourself that, everybody. Is there are you the same person at work that you are at home, that you are at church, that you are with your kids? Or are there these multiple versions of you? You're this really loving, kind, generous person with your own children? Yet at the workplace, there's a distance and an aloofness about you. The happiest, most fulfilled people transcend their environment

• 36:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:48Ed Mylett?

  with who they are. That's when you're really authentically being yourself and when your heart's opened up. I got to ask you about the surrender thing, though.

• 36:53Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 36:53Ed Mylett?

  I got asked about that yesterday, too, from a friend. We actually got into a disagreement, kind of like what Tom did with you. They posted something about You've just got to completely separate from outcome. And I've heard you say something similar, but I know what you mean and I want you to elaborate on it. I think one of the most difficult things in life to navigate is this idea of being goal oriented, outcome oriented, and separating from that outcome to some extent, right? It's a very nuanced position. Some would call it surrender. It's a very nuanced thing. So you've described this better than I've heard before. So what's your stance on that? People say, "I've got all these goals and dreams, yet sometimes the pressure or the obsession with it creates a pressure that causes you not to perform very well too." Describe your belief about that.

• 37:37Speaker 02

  Well, it's kind of, I can take that back to the football. And that's what I'm saying. I didn't, I was able to transit, on the football field, I didn't care. Honestly, the score could be, you know, it's fourth and three and we need a catch and they can come to me, because I'm not worried about dropping it. I'm not worried about what happened before.

• 37:56Ed Mylett?

  Are you saying that fourth and three, game on the line, the pressure level inside you is the same as first and 10, first quarter?

• 38:04Speaker 02

  First and 10, first, honestly.

• 38:05Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 38:05Speaker 02

  Honestly.

• 38:06Ed Mylett?

  Okay, that's surprising to me.

• 38:07Speaker 02

  I like to think that every play that I played, I played in the moment.

• 38:11Ed Mylett?

  Wow.

• 38:12Speaker 02

  With, there was no warming up, getting in, it was like from beginning to, it was one, one speed, I guess. You know, I had two speeds. I wasn't going or I was going. And when I say I was going, it was from a place of poise, like I talked about. No fear, calmness, fearlessness. Like, that's, that's where you want to be. And I think that's kind of what acceptance is or surrender means. You're not worried about the outcome. And this is where it's hard. I could do that on the football field and this is where I've struggled. And especially after I made that transition. When you're starting something new, it's hard to get out of your head.

• 38:47Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 38:48Speaker 02

  And you're going to be in your head for a little while. That's all there is to it. Because you're learning something new. But you can accelerate that.

• 38:54Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 38:55Speaker 02

  You can really, really accelerate that if you can have that surrender. And that surrender means acceptance. And that acceptance means you're not worried about the outcome. It means you're not worried about what happened before. If you can open your heart up, that's, that's where learning comes quicker. You can learn the hard way. You can bang your head against the wall. You can say, I hear a lot of motivational speakers out there that talk about, you know, it's hard work. It's hard work. All you gotta do is do hard work. And, you know, I've done that before, but there's, and but you'll, and you will get it. You will learn something if you work your ass off. If I, if you double the amount of hours that I'm putting in on something, you will get there. But I believe that you can accelerate that learning process.

• 39:39Speaker 02

  If you come from a place of really working on your emotions. Cause emotion, uh, success is an emotional thing. It really, really is. Especially when you start looking at town. When you got to NFL, you look around, there's guys. Yeah. Oh, I always say when, when guys come into the NFL, when I talk to them, when I give little talks to, to players coming in. I'm like, welcome to the world of you're, you're no, you're no longer special. Yeah. Cause you run a four or five, so does he. Everybody. Oh, you, you're, you're strong. You lift four hundred pounds. So, so does he right there. I mean, there's nothing that separates you from these guys right now. The only thing that's gonna separate you now is here and here. And that is what I study. And so I'm sorry to go off topic a little bit. Love it. But I think, uh, the more you can learn and the more you can get into that heart of yours.

• 40:22Speaker 02

  Which you figure out what heart is, define what heart is, and then get there every day. I love this, brother. Will you, a couple of football things. Hmm. Uh, what's your regret of your career? Biggest regret? Uh, I was never a leader as much as I could have been. Much as I could have been. I was scared. That's the only reason I was not a good leader. What, what, really? I think towards the end of my career, I became a pretty good leader, but still not, not the leader that I should have been, or I could have been. I'm blown away to hear that. Yeah, I was afraid. I was afraid. I was afraid to, to stand up before a game and I could do this one-on-one with players, but really I didn't even do this one-on-one. I would never. Be started more towards the end of my career, I started to do it more.

• 41:06Speaker 02

  But you know, in the prime of my career, you know, year four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10. Like I was never, I should have been up in front of the locker room. I should have been controlling the locker room from a place of kindness too.

• 41:19Ed Mylett?

  Sure.

• 41:19Speaker 02

  But really helping my teammates be better. Uh, and I could have done it, but I, cause I had all this knowledge in me. I was, I was crushing books while I was playing. This is something I've been doing all the time.

• 41:29Ed Mylett?

  And you're being humble. You were the best player on your team, a quarterback or either typically the best player on your football team.

• 41:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:35Ed Mylett?

  And still did not have the, what you call the, was it confidence? Was it?

• 41:39Speaker 02

  The confidence was there. I was quiet, uh, meaning I would, I would never say anything in front of the team. And if I saw something, I was afraid to, to say it. Where now I'll say it. Yeah, it was, it was, I feel bad about that. I, I could have gave better to my teammates and they probably, you know, you probably have some teammates of mine back then. They wouldn't say I was a bad guy.

• 42:01Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 42:02Speaker 02

  But they would be like, ah, yeah, he's kinda in his own, own world over there, reading his books in his locker.

• 42:07Ed Mylett?

  It blows my mind because you're so present right now.

• 42:10Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 42:11Ed Mylett?

  And, uh, and such an evolved, impressive person that, that is so.

• 42:16Speaker 02

  But I think that's, but I do think that's a good thing because it's like shit. You don't, you don't just show up in the pros. I mean, you gotta start, you gotta go pop Warner, you gotta get your ass kicked, you gotta make those mistakes.

• 42:26Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 42:27Speaker 02

  And that's, you know, I wrote a letter to my kids, um, for the Hall of Fame. And that was a big part of that message. I wanted to, to let them know that when you find what you love to do, that's the first and foremost thing you have to do. If you wanna have a successful life, a fulfilled life, a joyful life, uh, is figure out what you love. And that's a whole process. You gotta go out there and try different things. You gotta, you gotta experiment and then once you find. Guess what? Now, really get ready. Because the critics are coming. The pain is coming now, now that you've found what you love. And you're gonna get your ass kicked and you're gonna fall down. And that's part of it, though. Just know that. In fact, welcome that shit. Because that's the shit that cracks you wide open.

• 43:12Speaker 02

  The pain is very common amongst successful people, really, really successful people. They've usually gone through some really hard times. They've come from humble beginnings. Or Michael Jordan got cut. He got devastated. When he got cut from the high school team and he still carries that competitive attitude all the way through his Hall of Fame speech. Just one example. I have been broken the fuck open. Because of certain things that have happened to me. And I wouldn't trade him for the world because that's part of it. That's part of the growth. And so if anybody who's going out there through some bad times or you think you're struggling right now. You probably are, I would say that. But understand the growth opportunity where it's at right now. In fact, that's why I keep running towards the fear.

• 43:56Speaker 02

  Because I know that's where the growth is. That's where the gold is, I always say. Go towards that fear. Go to what you're afraid of. No matter what it is, speaking publicly, acting for me. Scared, but I've wanted to do it. You talk about humbling.

• 44:07Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, I'm sure.

• 44:09Speaker 02

  But you can't do it. I can work my ass off. This is part of going back to the question a while ago. I can work my ass off to be really, really good at acting or broadcasting, whatever. But I can get there so much faster if I just come from my heart. Act from your heart.

• 44:23Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 44:24Speaker 02

  Play with heart. Going back to the beginning. Every coach says it. Play with your heart.

• 44:27Ed Mylett?

  You're gonna make a huge difference in culture the next decade. Because of who you are and your platform and what you know and what you're willing to talk about. I'm like really excited about your show. I'm really, really excited. Because of what you've achieved. You're gonna be able to gather the ears of people that not everybody can. I just want to encourage you to continue on this path. I think it's very special. Very, very remarkable. What you're talking about, what you know. How authentic it is too. Like you're living this stuff. The thing you talked about there that I want to second also is in every area of life, I call them the awkward, mechanical, and the natural stage. Whatever it is, in a relationship, it can start out awkward, then you kind of get mechanical

• 45:10Ed Mylett?

  the way you're, then there becomes this point where your relationship just becomes natural. That happens in a sport, it happens in a business as well. And there's two ways that you get to the natural stage, which by the way is when you're at your highest performing level, you're vibrating at the highest frequency, you're the most functional, you're the happiest. It's through hard work, through repetitions, and through getting in a heart state and out of your head. Those are the two ways that we do it in life, so. I don't want this to end, damn it. I promised a certain timeframe for the audience, though. I want to ask you one more question, because I just think there's this reservoir of information there. We've touched on so many different things. But there's a lot of people that are watching this that have some kind of dream. Right? That's who listens to you and I. They got a dream, their dream is they want to find their dream relationship, start their dream business, become a millionaire.

• 45:55Ed Mylett?

  Maybe they're an artist and they want to be, you know, get their art in the hands of more people musically, whatever it might be. And my audience is so diverse from eight-year-olds to 80-year-olds, right? There's no, everyone asks me, "What's your demo?" My demo is keep humans, right? What advice, someone who's come this far, let's be real, from a dude who's hiding behind the wall, getting bullied when he's in the eighth grade. And you just forget, because you're such a good man, but has become the greatest in the history of the sport at his position. He's one of 326 people in the history of that sport to do it. You're talking about someone who's not achieved just an elite level, the highest possible level in their chosen career. One of one. One of one at the position he played in the NFL.

• 46:39Ed Mylett?

  He knows a lot about how to do this stuff. Your journey's been remarkable. You're such a young man, too. What advice would you give them? Hey, I'm starting, I'm... I'm not sure I have it, you know, any, any random piece, they ran into you at Starbucks, they got three minutes, they said, hey, I got this dream I have, what advice would you give me?

• 46:56Speaker 02

  Um, very similar to, first of all, you have to find what you love.

• 46:59Ed Mylett?

  What if you're not, let me ask you, let me challenge you on that.

• 47:01Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 47:02Ed Mylett?

  So the love thing, I love basketball, which by the way, he could have probably played in the NBA too, he had the choice to do the two. I love basketball. But do you also agree that you need to choose something that you love that's also in line with some sort of giftedness or potential talent? Meaning, I'm, I'm not ever gonna do a 360 windmill dunk. Do you agree that there's some measurement there of?

• 47:22Speaker 02

  Absolutely, that makes total sense, that's the reason I play football. I mean, I love basketball more than I love football. I would have loved to have been in the NBA. And I knew I probably could have made it, but people are like, okay, your long-term success is in football, son. Just know that, you're a 6'5" power forward. They don't, there's Charles Barkley and there's no one else.

• 47:40Ed Mylett?

  Right, no one else is 6'9", 6'10".

• 47:42Speaker 02

  And you can't dribble that well, Charles can, and so I was like, okay, well, I'm gonna go play football.

• 47:45Ed Mylett?

  Okay, so we gotta love, we gotta, so advice one is love it, but it's gotta be in some line with some giftedness or, or a proclivity that you have.

• 47:52Speaker 02

  Lou Holtz, uh, one of his books I read, he talks about that, pick something that you're naturally good at. And then fall in love with it, find a way to fall in love with it, open your heart to it.

• 48:01Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 48:02Speaker 02

  And so, that, that's, that's kinda what, what I did, and you can fall in love with just being successful. Some people, I've asked people, business great, people that have made a lot of money, and I'm like, what do you love? Don't you just love what you do for a living? And they're all, no, I don't love that, I don't love the specific, like, if I'm making widgets.

• 48:19Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 48:19Speaker 02

  I don't love widgets, I love the process of building a company.

• 48:22Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 48:23Speaker 02

  I love, I love, I love success. I'm in the business of making money or whatever they say and that stuff. And so.

• 48:29Ed Mylett?

  You're right.

• 48:29Speaker 02

  So I, so some people, some people figure that out, so basically, whatever it is, try to fall in love with whatever it is that you end up doing.

• 48:38Speaker 02

  And then from there, I believe, cause once you fall in love with it. The need for discipline disappears.

• 48:45Ed Mylett?

  Gosh.

• 48:46Speaker 02

  So, discipline is really important in life, okay? If I, like, right now, if you had some, uh, some, some cookies right here, I'd probably be like, shit, I want one of these cookies. I'm gonna have some discipline, no, I'm not gonna touch it. That's discipline, which is needed in life. But, when it comes to what you do for a living, you wanna be, you want it to be like, almost, I, like, I didn't really take that much discipline me, discipline for me, to stay after practice.

• 49:09Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 49:09Speaker 02

  I never did that before, cuz I didn't, I wasn't in love with football. I wasn't in love with the process, until my third, going into that third year, which is now, all of a sudden, I'm gonna stay after practice. Even though I'm tired, and I can go home, it's because I, I love it. Where else, where else would I rather be? I actually really fantasize about catching footballs. And really, pick, I didn't love showing, waking up early, uh, I don't love blocking big 300-pound defensive ends, uh, which is part of my game, but I love catching footballs.

• 49:37Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 49:38Speaker 02

  So, pick something within what you love, that you really, really love.

• 49:42Ed Mylett?

  I love that.

• 49:43Speaker 02

  And focus on that.

• 49:44Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 49:44Speaker 02

  And so, and then from there, I think really, everything takes care of itself, really, just keep learning from the greats. Cuz we could sit here and talk about this over, and I, of course, I have a whole bunch more I could say on it, but really, do it yourself, take that journey.

• 49:57Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 49:58Speaker 02

  Go, go pick up a book, go read some Tony Robbins books, listen to these podcasts, go, go look at anybody, everybody has, anybody who's achieved, achieved that success, they have that, they have that formula.

• 50:09Ed Mylett?

  I totally agree with you. By the way, brilliant, I said this like, about eight weeks ago on something, but I didn't say it as well as you. You can find an element of what you're doing that you love. It could actually not even be the physical work, it could, it could be the result it produces, like wealth, like abundance, like happiness for other people. Cuz what happens when you do that, is you go from, I have to stay after practice, to, I get to stay after practice.

• 50:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:30Ed Mylett?

  I get to go do this, and when something becomes what you get to go do, your life's different. It's just a completely different existence on earth. Brother, I, I'm telling you right now, I'm so excited about your show, and I enjoyed this today, like, I love when I do a show that feeds me as well as the audience and I was very well fed today by the things that you talked about. Thank you. I really, really enjoyed it and if there's anything I can ever do beyond today to help you, I'm here. Thank you. You've got a friend and an ally here, so thank you so much. Again, follow Tony's podcast and make sure that you're following him at, is it Tony Gonzalez 88 on social media? Make sure you're following him and obviously you know with me, you want to be following me on Instagram and doing the max out two-minute drill every single day. When I make a post between 7:30 and 8 a.m. Pacific, that is like roughly, usually about

• 51:15Ed Mylett?

  10:30 to 11 Eastern. When I make that post, first two minutes, if you make a comment, or if you start commenting on people's comments, if you miss the first two minutes by the way, just make a comment on every post I make every day. We pick winners every single day. They get coaching calls with me, my book, max out gear, flights on my jet, tickets to see me speak, sometimes interactions with some of my guests. And so, I'd love to select you, so be involved with me on social media, be involved with me on Instagram. Follow this man as well. Thank you for today, Tony. Appreciate it. Enjoyed it so much. God bless you everybody and max out.