They Hate To See These Fat Asses Coming

SUBSCRIBE TO THE BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OZxwpr NEW MERCH: https://shoptmgstudios.com This week, Brooke and Connor are back and sharing their 2025 ins and outs list. Plus, they break down their winter break plans, from Brooke’s liquid tuna disaster to Connor’s trip to the circus. We are so back! Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/ Date now on Bumble and download the app today. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/BANDC and get on your way to being your best self. Head to https://acorns.com/bandc or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future today. Treat yourself at https://Quince.com/bandc for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. Chapters 00:00 being a teacher pays off 00:47 intro 01:07 my fat ass is racking up points 3:13 welcome back!! 04:30 flights with jonathan 08:38 anti-feline passengers 10:27 bumble 12:13 jonathan in hysterics 14:50 bark air 15:44 cat-free rows 18:20 la fires 19:19 alarm sounds 21:29 bouncing is on the y axis 23:08 betterhelp 24:57 stress dreams 27:49 brooke's water birth 29:20 my fat ass is always taking advil 31:30 agree for the plot 32:32 ruined stomach lining 37:27 Connor’s Chill Ass Break 41:31 Cirque De Sole 46:55 Quince 48:53 Seeing Andrew Garfield 55:28 Everyone is Engaged 57:47 Reflecting on 2024 Resolutions 1:04:35 2025 Predictions 1:07:21 Ins and Outs of 2025 1:11:56 That Friend by Sabrina Brier 1:14:11 See You In Bonus!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:45Brooke Averick?

  You know what I did recently? I had probably upwards of 20 Target gift cards from when I was a teacher that I would get like over Christmas or whatever from parents that I had never touched. And I kept them all. And I recently just applied every single one online. And it was like $400.

• 1:04Connor Wood?

  Wow.

• 1:05Brooke Averick?

  That I had just come into. And I ordered...

• 1:07Connor Wood?

  What a feeling!

• 1:08Brooke Averick?

  My cuck chair is completely comped.

• 1:10Connor Wood?

  Wow.

• 1:10Brooke Averick?

  My cuck chair is actually 500 USD from Target. But it was almost completely comped by the parents.

• 1:19Connor Wood?

  Wow.

• 1:19Brooke Averick?

  Of the children that I taught. So you know, being a teacher really pays off.

• 1:22Connor Wood?

  Down the line?

• 1:24Brooke Averick?

  Down the line.

• 1:24Connor Wood?

  Stick with it. Hold the line, teachers.

• 1:26Brooke Averick?

  Stick with it. Maybe you all could get a cuck chair too one day. If you're lucky.

• 1:30Connor Wood?

  Thank you, teachers, for everything you do.

• 1:52Connor Wood?

  Um, I went the other day with my sister. We go to this restaurant, Great White. And I love Great White. You know I love Great White.

• 2:00Brooke Averick?

  Who doesn't?

• 2:01Connor Wood?

  And they have an app. And I always say, "I'll pick it up." And then everyone can Venmo me because I pay with the app and you get so many points. I take all my clients there. So I have racked up all of these points from entertaining clients. And...

• 2:18Brooke Averick?

  Just off the top of your head, if you could rattle off a few clients.

• 2:22Connor Wood?

  Uh, Mr. Uh, Gerald Dean, Mr. Gerald Dean, he lives, he's a big guy, he's a big guy in the industry.

• 2:31Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 2:32Connor Wood?

  He's one of the bigger guys in the industry. Gerald Dean.

• 2:35Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 2:35Connor Wood?

  I couldn't remember his name. He goes by several aliases.

• 2:38Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Oh, the alias.

• 2:41Connor Wood?

  So, yeah, he's one of my bigger clients. He keeps, he keeps my wheels turning, if you know what I mean. He keeps my wheels greased.

• 2:47Brooke Averick?

  I do.

• 2:49Connor Wood?

  He keeps, uh, the lights on. Yeah. So, yeah, I've racked up some points over there at one of those, at the restaurants. They know me, they know my name, they know my, they hate to see me come, but they love to watch me leave. They hate to see my fat ass. They go, we know this diva, he's about to eat.

• 3:08Brooke Averick?

  I'm sorry, and like, this is no offense to Connor, I can't stop saying fat ass about everyone.

• 3:13Connor Wood?

  It's fine.

• 3:13Brooke Averick?

  Including myself, and it's not derogatory.

• 3:15Connor Wood?

  It's fine.

• 3:16Brooke Averick?

  I just want to get ahead of that.

• 3:17Connor Wood?

  I know what I have.

• 3:18Brooke Averick?

  Mr. Geraldine and his fat ass?

• 3:20Connor Wood?

  Well, Mr. Geraldine, yeah. I don't really want to bring

• 3:24Brooke Averick?

  Sorry.

• 3:24Connor Wood?

  my clientele into the conversation about fat asses, because

• 3:28Brooke Averick?

  But it's not derogatory, is what I'm trying to say.

• 3:30Connor Wood?

  Well, he's one of my biggest accounts, so I'd rather not drag him through the mud.

• 3:34Brooke Averick?

  That's what I'm trying to say. Saying his fat ass is not dragging anyone through the mud.

• 3:38Connor Wood?

  Right.

• 3:39Brooke Averick?

  For the new year.

• 3:40Connor Wood?

  Yeah, well, see, his fat ass can eat too.

• 3:41Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 3:41Connor Wood?

  Because I racked up so many points in the other day when I took my sister, um,

• 3:47Connor Wood?

  to Great White, and I paid with points, and it was pretty cool to do. They go, your actual whole meal is comped.

• 3:55Connor Wood?

  So, whatever.

• 3:56Brooke Averick?

  Should we welcome everyone back?

• 3:57Connor Wood?

  Oh, my gosh. Oh, yeah. Brooke, yeah, you go, you do it. Yeah, we just talked about my fat ass for four minutes.

• 4:04Brooke Averick?

  No, I'm sorry to cut your fat ass short. I'm just gonna welcome everyone. My fat ass is just gonna welcome everyone back. Hi, guys. Welcome back to B and C, M A P. Happy 2025. We missed you so bad. I'm so happy to be back, and I think I speak for Connor's fat ass when I say that he's, his fat ass is happy to be back too.

• 4:22Connor Wood?

  Ow, ow.

• 4:22Brooke Averick?

  I really am. I have so much to talk about today. I'm sure your fat ass has too.

• 4:28Connor Wood?

  My giant tuckus.

• 4:31Brooke Averick?

  It's just fat ass.

• 4:32Connor Wood?

  Is for, oh.

• 4:36Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 4:37Brooke Averick?

  You're good.

• 4:42Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 4:44Connor Wood?

  I started crying.

• 4:45Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 4:45Connor Wood?

  Yeah, my fat ass does have a lot to share as well.

• 4:48Brooke Averick?

  Share it.

• 4:49Connor Wood?

  I actually started crying a little bit. I think I'm just in a spot where like I've built up a lot of tears.

• 4:57Connor Wood?

  Go ahead though, please.

• 4:58Brooke Averick?

  No, I'm, I've passed the baton.

• 5:00Connor Wood?

  I don't want to go first. I don't want to share first.

• 5:04Brooke Averick?

  Okay, well, I guess we can just share about like-

• 5:06Connor Wood?

  When's the last time I saw your fat ass?

• 5:07Brooke Averick?

  Before Christmas. So let's talk about what we did over Christmas and stuff.

• 5:13Connor Wood?

  Yeah, okay.

• 5:14Brooke Averick?

  Um, I went to Florida, which I always do. You know, my fat ass loves that hot tub.

• 5:22Brooke Averick?

  But I brought John, Marie, my cat.

• 5:27Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 5:27Brooke Averick?

  Which was a huge mistake. Um, cause I, I know cats aren't big travelers, but I did, you know, I wanted to try because, you know, maybe he would like being with me instead of being home alone.

• 5:38Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 5:39Brooke Averick?

  Basically it was an experiment to see like, is he better off at home with a sitter without me? Or is he better off traveling, going through that stress, but staying with me? Answer? Here's the answer for you. His fat ass needs to stay home.

• 5:51Connor Wood?

  The prior, yeah.

• 5:52Brooke Averick?

  He was fine on the flight there, but he got really big like puss in boots eyes, which made me really sad because he gets this when he's playing too, which is really cute, but also if he's stressed, he'll go full puss in boots, which is so sad to look at. So he was puss in boots eyesing the whole way there. He was pretty quiet on the plane ride there, which was good, but then once we got to mom and pop up's chateau, um, he-

• 6:15Connor Wood?

  Their what?

• 6:16Brooke Averick?

  Their chateau.

• 6:18Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 6:18Brooke Averick?

  They just have a house. I'm just gonna call it a chateau.

• 6:21Connor Wood?

  Oh, I love chateau. I'm gonna add that to my words of-

• 6:24Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 6:24Connor Wood?

  That I like.

• 6:25Brooke Averick?

  Do it. Um, he was not himself at all, which made me really sad. Just like very shy, didn't want to be touched. Um, if I sat down next to him, he'd kind of get up, which is very unlike him because he's somebody- He's mad at you. He's someone that likes to sit on your neck and on your face and, you know, um, he was not happy. And then the second day, he actually started projectile vomiting green sludge, which for me was really challenging because I'm someone that didn't even want to have children because I didn't, they might throw up.

• 6:56Connor Wood?

  Mm-hmm.

• 6:56Brooke Averick?

  And that wasn't-

• 6:56Connor Wood?

  There's always a chance.

• 6:57Brooke Averick?

  There's always a chance that they would have thrown up. So this was one of my first huge, huge challenges as a parent.

• 7:03Connor Wood?

  Mm-hmm.

• 7:05Brooke Averick?

  Obviously, I wasn't taking any chances. We went right to the hospital because I was just so paranoid. He was diagnosed with acute anxiety. Just like his mom. So his fat ass is actually going to start projectile vomiting if he leaves the house, just like his mom. For the whole, the whole week, he wouldn't really let me touch him.

• 7:25Connor Wood?

  Your aura is so.

• 7:27Brooke Averick?

  Pets take on just like the temperament of their owners.

• 7:31Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 7:31Brooke Averick?

  So he is, he's housebound from now on. I felt literally horrible. He was so not himself.

• 7:37Connor Wood?

  It's kind of a weight lifted off you though, because knowing that you can leave your, your cat at home and it's a much better situation. You're not like, oh, like I feel bad. I'm on vacation and my cat's sitting at home.

• 7:45Brooke Averick?

  Now I feel a little bit more guilt free leaving him with a sitter because I know that like the alternative is worse. But also my cousin's cat was there, Luke, so John and Luke, the apostles actually got along really well, which was really great. And that's making me think that maybe I will get another cat.

• 8:02Connor Wood?

  Matthew.

• 8:02Brooke Averick?

  But I won't love, yeah, I might get Matthew.

• 8:04Connor Wood?

  Matthew.

• 8:04Brooke Averick?

  I won't love Matthew as much as John.

• 8:06Connor Wood?

  No.

• 8:07Brooke Averick?

  So that's hard.

• 8:08Connor Wood?

  Jesus didn't either.

• 8:08Brooke Averick?

  Now I know that like, oh, obviously I, like my parents must love me the most because it's not possible to love another kid. Once you get another one, your parents must love you the most, even though they might not act like it. I know mine might almost act like they might like love the other ones better, but always love the first one more. I can say that as another.

• 8:25Connor Wood?

  You can feel it in your chest.

• 8:27Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Can you imagine like getting another dog after Max? He wouldn't love that as much as Max would.

• 8:31Connor Wood?

  No, and I, I've, I've thought of like, maybe I should get a damn Yorkie. Cause I could put that shit in my pocket and then like, I don't have to worry about like, you know? Well, he wouldn't, he certainly wouldn't be home with his grandparents right now if I, if I had a damn Yorkie or a Shih Tzu or some shit like that.

• 8:45Brooke Averick?

  It almost feels wrong to get another cat because I'm getting it for John Marie and not me.

• 8:52Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 8:53Brooke Averick?

  So it's like, it like feels ethically like a little bit wrong.

• 8:57Connor Wood?

  No.

• 8:58Brooke Averick?

  It wouldn't be, I, I just like, I couldn't love it as much as John.

• 9:01Connor Wood?

  It doesn't need your love. It needs John's love. It needs, it needs it.

• 9:06Brooke Averick?

  I would feel too guilty.

• 9:07Connor Wood?

  Needs male love.

• 9:08Brooke Averick?

  I don't know, but it is something I'm thinking about.

• 9:11Connor Wood?

  Consider it. Sleep on it a couple of times.

• 9:13Brooke Averick?

  And then the flight home was probably one of the worst eight hour experiences.

• 9:19Brooke Averick?

  To date. He was. When I tell you screaming bloody murder?

• 9:23Connor Wood?

  Oh shit.

• 9:24Brooke Averick?

  Oh. Do you mind if I rewind for a second?

• 9:27Connor Wood?

  No.

• 9:28Brooke Averick?

  Um. Obviously getting onto the plane with him and a man is in my seat. And so he said, the flight attendant put me here. And I was like, oh yay. And the flight attendant came over and was like, would you mind? Sitting in the back? And I was like, ah, I, I was like, well, I did pay for the seat because it's an aisle and I have a cat. And then the woman in that row on the other side goes, oh, if you have a cat, you can't sit here. I was like, oh my God, yay. I paid, I paid for this.

• 9:59Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 9:59Brooke Averick?

  So. And she was like, I'm just horribly allergic. And I was like, thinking in my head like, oh, like, I'm empathetic to you being allergic to a cat, but like, it isn't, unfortunately, it isn't my problem.

• 10:12Connor Wood?

  This has, you've raised a bigger issue with airlines in general, like, obviously it's not, it's not anyone's plan. Like if you're allergic to peanuts and they're serving peanuts, like, I don't know, what, what do you do? Or like if there's a, they literally need to figure out how to like segment off airlines for specific groups of people, but it would take forever like.

• 10:32Brooke Averick?

  And she was also like, and I don't have my medicine. And I was like, okay, well, if you're that allergic to cats and you're going to be in a space where you know, like animals are on board, bring your meds. Anyway, I hate her because not, I understand that she's allergic to cats, but then her husband goes, ugh, I hate cats. Like what? You're going to tell me that I have the most gorgeous cat in my carrier and you're just going to look at me and go, ugh, I hate cats. Shut like shit. Shut up, shut up.

• 10:59Connor Wood?

  They're probably anti-Semitic.

• 11:01Brooke Averick?

  You think?

• 11:02Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 11:03Brooke Averick?

  I almost think they're anti-feline, which we all, we... Propaganda. We have literally been raised to hate cats. And it's sick. I was a victim of that too. I literally, I'm not even kidding, like, I don't give a shit about dogs anymore. Like, I'm, except for cats, of course. I'm li- I like a full cat.

• 11:21Connor Wood?

  No, I get it. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's nurture. It's what you have in your home.

• 11:27Brooke Averick?

  But can you put yourself in that man's position and imagine that there's just like a girl walking down the aisle with a cat and you just look at her and go, "I hate cats." Like, what do you think would possess someone to do that?

• 11:37Brooke Averick?

  Anyway, obviously I went to the back of the plane. Obviously I went to the back of the plane.

• 11:40Connor Wood?

  Yeah, wait, where did you, what was your seat? Aisle is still?

• 11:43Brooke Averick?

  Uh, yeah, just, uh, row thirty. Instead of row sixteen.

• 11:46Connor Wood?

  No recline. Eight hours.

• 11:48Brooke Averick?

  God, no. Uh, obviously, worst turbulence I've ever had in my life, just due to, uh, the back of the plane, which, and John was, I'm not kidding.

• 11:56Connor Wood?

  In hysterics.

• 11:57Brooke Averick?

  In hysterics, screaming bloody murder. I was like, like, so, it was like having a screaming baby. You just like, I fully understand the pain of that now. It's like, it's so, it's, you feel embarrassed and there's just like nothing you can do. So I was like, "Oh, I know what I'll do. I'll just open a liquid tuna treat."

• 12:16Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I'm on that, I'm on that dude and lady's side now.

• 12:20Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I would have been too. Obviously reeked, smelled up the whole plane. He didn't touch it. I feel even more horrible. I literally, it was like desperate times. Like, I didn't know what to do. I made a decision. It was the wrong decision. I feel fucking horrible, of course. My fat ass made the wrong decision in that moment. Um, and that was about thirty minutes into the flight. Rest of the pla- rest of the flight, Connor smelled like the inside of a fish.

• 12:45Connor Wood?

  If-

• 12:45Brooke Averick?

  I feel bad.

• 12:46Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 12:47Brooke Averick?

  It wasn't, it was a bad decision, but I was literally like frantic and desperate.

• 12:51Connor Wood?

  You described my exact experience with Max, just being like, "I can't do anything unless I like put a butt plug in his ass." Like, I, he literally is shitting everywhere and like, I, I'm just holding him and I can feel he's pooping through my shoe at that point. Like, and I'm like, "There's nothing I can do." And he's so, like, he's so big and like, I'm looking at everybody and they're mad at me and I'm like, "I don't know what to do." Like, we're, we're all in this together, unfortunately. Now you, you are in this with me. I felt, I felt horrible too, because it's like, yes, I did. Sign up for this and like no one else signed up for this. But.

• 13:26Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I mean.

• 13:26Connor Wood?

  We're in the air. We are. We are at 30,000 feet, so.

• 13:30Brooke Averick?

  Luckily, John didn't chart.

• 13:33Connor Wood?

  I know. I always, I always think about the people screaming babies. Like, you know, they're not like, yeah, I love this shit. Like, they don't want their baby to be screaming, you know, and it's like.

• 13:42Connor Wood?

  They had to get their baby somewhere like they're not gonna put them under the plane.

• 13:43Brooke Averick?

  And also like everyone, like, just put your headphones in, too.

• 13:47Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 13:48Brooke Averick?

  I had to do it.

• 13:50Connor Wood?

  I just would, I just think that. We put a man on the moon.

• 13:54Brooke Averick?

  I just felt so bad for John.

• 13:55Connor Wood?

  Make a baby airline, make an airline for babies and just put the babies on it with the mom or the mom or the dad or the families. And they can all fly together. They made a Bark Air. I just saw a TikTok for this airline called Bark Air. And I was like, huh, maybe that'd be good. It's like a little PJ. It's like a private plane. And it's just for people with dogs. And like this, this lady made a TikTok. And lady, she's probably younger than me. She flew with her St. Bernard. It was this massive, like. 100 pound dog and she's like, it's lovely. Like they serve you food. There's other dogs on board. Like they gave us a ton of space. We got on first because we had the biggest dog. I'm like, wow, maybe I'll look into this. Total price, $5,600 from Los Angeles to Vegas.

• 14:39Brooke Averick?

  Well, just like there was like peanut free tables in the cafeteria. There should just be peanut free rows and.

• 14:47Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 14:47Brooke Averick?

  Or cat free rows. Cause like at the end of the day, it wasn't my fault or that lady's fault. That she was allergic to cats. But the only reason I hated her was because of her, she did give me attitude and because of her husband, who I do think needed to be forcibly removed from the vehicle.

• 15:03Brooke Averick?

  Um. Just for his, for his attitude and personality as well. Um. But yeah, they're, they definitely, it's, it's. Seems almost like an easy fix to just be like, do you have? Severe allergies that we need to accommodate? Here's, here's, here's a row for him.

• 15:21Connor Wood?

  What you, you guys should go to the back, maybe.

• 15:24Brooke Averick?

  Well, it's like, maybe that wouldn't even have to happen if they just put a button on.

• 15:30Connor Wood?

  A button on.

• 15:30Brooke Averick?

  A button on the, um.

• 15:33Brooke Averick?

  When you're buying your ticket, like an extra button to check off for like allergies and such. Button's not the right word.

• 15:39Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I mean, when you pick your seat, I'm trying to get to like what I'm, where my brain is telling me to go like, and I don't know how to explain it to you guys. I feel like I'm like really drunk and trying to like tell you my address. When you pick your seat, it should be like an icon, like there's a baby in this aisle, you know? Be wary. There's a cat in this one, in a carriage. Like, pick your area given what's available. Or if like there's nothing else available and it's like, I hate babies, you know? Or I don't, I don't hate babies. I don't want to fly next to a baby. Like, I should get a discount on my ticket. Well, maybe not, because I waited so long. It's a beautiful thing about me is that like, I convince myself that flights will be cheaper if I wait till the day before the flight. It's never happened yet.

• 16:25Connor Wood?

  I'm a gambler. Like, I keep thinking I'm gonna figure it out. No, I haven't.

• 16:28Brooke Averick?

  Well, at least if it shows, like if you wait till the last minute and then you're stuck in a row with a cat, and it has a little cat icon, it's like, you, you knew.

• 16:36Connor Wood?

  Yeah, you made your bed. Time to lie in it, bitch.

• 16:39Brooke Averick?

  Bring your meds.

• 16:39Connor Wood?

  Yeah, bring your meds.

• 16:41Brooke Averick?

  Bring your meds.

• 16:41Connor Wood?

  Bring your EpiPen.

• 16:43Brooke Averick?

  Can't stress enough, sorry. Actually, my nearest resolution is to stop over explaining, so I'm gonna just leave, leave that conversation.

• 16:49Connor Wood?

  Just leave it how it is.

• 16:50Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 16:50Connor Wood?

  And stop apologizing.

• 16:52Brooke Averick?

  I was gonna say, it's of course okay to be allergic to cats.

• 16:54Connor Wood?

  I don't know.

• 16:55Brooke Averick?

  Of course, I have no problem with that.

• 16:56Connor Wood?

  I don't know.

• 16:57Brooke Averick?

  Isn't, it was more of an attitude, the attitude was my issue. That makes sense.

• 17:01Connor Wood?

  I'm on board with you. I can't explain the level at which I'm on board with you because I'm at a loss for, I really, before we started recording, I was talking so good. And then we started recording and like genuinely.

• 17:13Brooke Averick?

  I feel the same way.

• 17:16Connor Wood?

  Can't get a thought out. Also, just so everyone's aware, fires are in LA right now, raging fires.

• 17:23Brooke Averick?

  So scary.

• 17:23Connor Wood?

  I feel like, I went outside for, I walked down to the beach to look at it from the beach. Apocalypse.

• 17:30Brooke Averick?

  Even from West Hollywood, it looks like the apocalypse.

• 17:32Connor Wood?

  I felt like I vaped. Like, I went into my car and I was like.

• 17:39Connor Wood?

  It's heavy with the smoke.

• 17:40Brooke Averick?

  No, it's so sad and I don't think I've ever been in a position where I've personally known so many people that have been so affected. Like so, like probably five people that I know their houses have burned to the ground. To the ground and you know them too, in the Palisades.

• 17:56Connor Wood?

  I know one.

• 17:59Connor Wood?

  We'll talk offline.

• 18:00Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, it's just like so, it's so devastating.

• 18:01Connor Wood?

  I mean, it's equally devastating not knowing people, but.

• 18:04Brooke Averick?

  Yes, of course, but it's just like, it's, it is a little, almost scary when it's so close to you.

• 18:09Connor Wood?

  It's freaky.

• 18:10Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 18:10Connor Wood?

  So, thoughts are with everyone, prayers are with everyone. And there's no easy way to transition from that to how annoying I find my alarm sound, but I'm gonna do it.

• 18:21Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 18:22Connor Wood?

  We, have you noticed that, so I got the new phone? And have you noticed, I woke up in a horrible mood, not be, obviously it should have been because of the fires, but because I, I got the new phone and have you noticed that when you pick a random time on your phone, like when you make a new time to wake up, like I just randomly have like 6:14 a.m. for some reason, it like auto chooses an alarm sound for you? Has anyone noticed that? Like they're always different. So mine today, by the grace of God, was

• 18:55Connor Wood?

  So I thought that we were being evacuated for the fires. I'm like, it's happening, it's happening. No, it's just like, hey, wait, hey, heads up, it's time to get, it's time to head out for the podcast. And it's just weird that like we, mothers in the womb, give their babies Mozart, Bach, Shakespeare.

• 19:15Brooke Averick?

  Me and Bach.

• 19:17Connor Wood?

  Her and Bach. And then we give ourselves this and like we're, we're waking up out of the womb of our bed sheets.

• 19:23Brooke Averick?

  You can set it. I used to have mine set to my one song on iTunes, which is the Cheetah Girls song.

• 19:32Brooke Averick?

  If you purchase that song on Apple Music, you can set it as your

• 19:34Connor Wood?

  What's your alarm?

• 19:35Brooke Averick?

  Alarm, which I would recommend. Now it's just like Radar.

• 19:40Connor Wood?

  What? You wake up to Radar?

• 19:43Brooke Averick?

  I, I

• 19:43Connor Wood?

  They're gonna play Radar.

• 19:44Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, because if it's a pleasant sound, I stopped getting up. It needs to be unpleasant for me now.

• 19:51Connor Wood?

  Wait, sound Radar?

• 19:54Brooke Averick?

  It's like Does that make sense?

• 19:56Connor Wood?

  Wait, what is it?

• 19:57Brooke Averick?

  It's like

• 19:59Connor Wood?

  That one?

• 19:59Brooke Averick?

  Oh yeah, that.

• 20:01Connor Wood?

  That's radial.

• 20:02Brooke Averick?

  Sorry.

• 20:03Connor Wood?

  I need to play mine, sorry.

• 20:05Brooke Averick?

  No. That's what I woke up to this morning. You, that's...

• 20:07Connor Wood?

  Get up!

• 20:08Brooke Averick?

  You have free will and you can change that.

• 20:10Connor Wood?

  Someone said that they're trying out the dogs barking and they said that that actually wakes them up really nicely.

• 20:17Brooke Averick?

  Unfortunately radial wakes me up, gets the job done.

• 20:20Connor Wood?

  Not unfortunate, that's good. But sometimes I, when I play a song, all of a sudden like, for a while I had, um,

• 20:28Connor Wood?

  uh, hypnotized by Plies. You got me so hypnotized, the way your body rolling round and round. Then titty keep bumpin', titties are bouncing up and down.

• 20:39Brooke Averick?

  I thought it was booty.

• 20:40Connor Wood?

  It was booty keeps bouncing, titty-

• 20:41Brooke Averick?

  It might be fat ass.

• 20:43Connor Wood?

  That fat ass is bouncing, the titties are also bouncing up and down. Titties are bouncing, moving side to side, maybe, they may be moving on the x-axis. And the booty's moving more on the, on the y.

• 20:54Brooke Averick?

  There's no way the titties are moving on the x-axis.

• 20:56Connor Wood?

  Well, titties could be swinging this way.

• 20:58Brooke Averick?

  There's no way that someone would sing a song about that.

• 21:01Connor Wood?

  Titties keep movin', left to right. Booty keeps bouncing, titties keep movin', left to right. I could see it. That would be like tapping your head and rubbing your belly if your titties are moving this way and you were also bouncing your booty.

• 21:15Brooke Averick?

  I, I just don't think that that's what the song would be about. I think it's awesome.

• 21:19Connor Wood?

  I think it's awesome too.

• 21:20Brooke Averick?

  Don't get me wrong, I think it's fucking awesome.

• 21:22Connor Wood?

  If you're ambidextrous with your booty and your titties, that's great.

• 21:24Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 21:25Connor Wood?

  And to each their own, I think that's a great goal to have.

• 21:27Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. I think it's bumping and bouncing and they don't specify the direction.

• 21:31Connor Wood?

  Booty keep bumpin', titties just bouncing up and down, yeah. The titties were literally bouncing up and down.

• 21:36Brooke Averick?

  Right, I don't think we're getting x and y axis.

• 21:38Connor Wood?

  Let's not rewrite history, the titties are bouncing up and down. The booty was just bouncing in general. However, bouncing can't, bouncing cannot be left to right, ever in any universe. Not in ours, not in theirs.

• 21:49Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, by definition bouncing is y-axis.

• 21:52Connor Wood?

  Bouncing is y-axis, titties just swinging around?

• 21:56Brooke Averick?

  Those titties keep swinging, up, left to right.

• 22:00Connor Wood?

  Booty's just bouncing, titties just swinging, left to right.

• 22:20Speaker 02

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• 22:49Brooke Averick?

  Alright.

• 22:50Connor Wood?

  Anyways, what I was gonna say is sometimes I would have dreams that I was just going like this. Like, the song would just go into my dreams and I was just kind of

• 22:59Connor Wood?

  working the night shift in my dream.

• 23:02Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 23:02Connor Wood?

  It wouldn't wake me up, though.

• 23:03Brooke Averick?

  That's what I'm saying, that's why you need a horrible sound. Because I would sleep right through La Nana Nana.

• 23:09Connor Wood?

  Glorious song.

• 23:10Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I know that.

• 23:11Connor Wood?

  It's a ballad, even. I have to tell you about my new stress dreams, now.

• 23:15Brooke Averick?

  Really?

• 23:16Connor Wood?

  Yeah. I've been sleeping through the night, and I'll tell you exactly why. I'm so traumatized by my past jobs. And then, like, not really having a traditional job, that's also traumatized me, but being like, every day I wake up, "My career's over," you know?

• 23:32Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 23:33Connor Wood?

  I don't know if anyone else has that. So I sleep really lightly. And recently, I haven't been sleeping at all. Anyways. My new, my dream I had the other night? I got to a show. I drove 90 minutes to a show. It was like an hour and a half, and I remember getting there, and they go, "Okay, you're on, you're on for one, you have one minute."

• 23:54Brooke Averick?

  You're on in one, or you have a one-minute set?

• 23:56Connor Wood?

  We got you one minute on this show.

• 23:58Brooke Averick?

  Okay, you have a one-minute set.

• 23:59Connor Wood?

  A one-minute set. And I go, "You guys," like, I remember just being defeated, like, "You guys, I just drove almost two hours here, just like, no biggie, just take me off the docket for tonight, I'm not gonna, I don't have anything that's a minute." And they go, "Oh, oh, you're too good to do a minute. Oh, you're too, he's too good to do a minute." And I go-

• 24:23Connor Wood?

  Fine, whatever, I'll do, I'll do the minute and they go, no, we got you 15. And then all of a sudden, I'm like, wait, I don't have 15. And I had to go out and it was in front of my high school. It was in my high school auditorium. And I was frozen and then I woke up. I had another one too. I know no one cares about dreams at all. Oh, this one's good. This is a good one. Does anyone have dreams where like you are in your apartment or like a house that you've lived in forever? And then like you suddenly find like extra room in your apartment?

• 24:53Brooke Averick?

  No, actually. I always have a dream that I'm back in my like childhood home, but there's never been an extra room.

• 24:58Connor Wood?

  I always have dreams that there's like a secret third floor that I never knew about.

• 25:02Brooke Averick?

  That's fun.

• 25:02Connor Wood?

  And I had a dream the other night that there's a closet in my apartment that I like just shoved shit in and never opened ever again. Which is great to know because I'll just get rid of everything when I, and um, I went in there and it was a full room with a pool. I had an indoor pool in my dream.

• 25:20Brooke Averick?

  Awesome. So the thing is, it's always gonna lead back to a body of water for you.

• 25:25Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I'm an aquarium.

• 25:26Brooke Averick?

  Which is rebirth.

• 25:27Connor Wood?

  I'm aquarium.

• 25:29Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 25:31Connor Wood?

  Rebirth?

• 25:31Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 25:32Connor Wood?

  How so?

• 25:33Brooke Averick?

  Isn't that what like water symbolizes?

• 25:36Connor Wood?

  Mm-hmm.

• 25:37Brooke Averick?

  Something to think about.

• 25:40Brooke Averick?

  Booty keep.

• 25:41Connor Wood?

  What, what song are you gonna play during your water birth, do you think?

• 25:45Brooke Averick?

  When you say water birth, you mean when I give birth in the water or when I'm reborn?

• 25:51Connor Wood?

  Both. You can pick a song for both when you give birth in your little pool and at your house? Maybe in my secret room pool and when you are reborn.

• 26:01Brooke Averick?

  So if I were to do a water birth, which I personally wouldn't do.

• 26:04Connor Wood?

  Why would you not do that?

• 26:05Brooke Averick?

  I feel really strongly about being in the hospital.

• 26:07Connor Wood?

  Me too.

• 26:09Brooke Averick?

  Um, with access to as many sedatives, um, and like numbing opportunities.

• 26:17Brooke Averick?

  And anesthesia is possible.

• 26:19Connor Wood?

  Give it to me.

• 26:20Brooke Averick?

  So I'm not doing a water birth. Do I still have to answer? I don't want any sound. I don't want any sort of stimulation.

• 26:26Connor Wood?

  If you don't have any sound, then it's just gonna be like this random splashes, though.

• 26:30Brooke Averick?

  Eee!

• 26:31Connor Wood?

  Which like...

• 26:32Brooke Averick?

  What are you? I don't think I'm gonna be splashing out.

• 26:35Connor Wood?

  I don't know what you're doing in there.

• 26:37Brooke Averick?

  You know what? It's so crazy, like, me neither, cuz like, all I've seen is like, the movie versions of birth. And the one I saw in health class. It's like, you won't know what it's like. You don't know if they're splashing. And all the intricacies until you do it.

• 26:51Connor Wood?

  I can't wait to see the DMs we get. Um, water birth expert here. Uh, there is no splashing. When you have a water birth.

• 26:58Brooke Averick?

  I have no interest in that.

• 26:59Connor Wood?

  I wanna be water born. Like, I think that would feel really good to like, slip out and be underwater and like,

• 27:06Connor Wood?

  put a move on from that sentence, um, and say that... Oh, here's what I was gonna say. I don't really understand how like, you can't drink when you're pregnant, like, you can't smoke, you can't do any drugs or anything, obviously. But then you can get like, every med known to man when you're giving birth. I guess cuz it's no longer like feeding, you're not feeding the baby.

• 27:27Brooke Averick?

  I think medicine is different than alcohol and like, hard drugs.

• 27:30Connor Wood?

  You can't take like, Advil when you're pregnant, technically.

• 27:34Brooke Averick?

  I don't, is that true?

• 27:35Connor Wood?

  I made it up right here on the spot.

• 27:37Brooke Averick?

  True at all.

• 27:37Connor Wood?

  But I think that it is probably...

• 27:39Brooke Averick?

  You can definitely take a lot of medications when you're pregnant.

• 27:42Connor Wood?

  Deli turkey, but you can take medication?

• 27:45Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 27:47Connor Wood?

  No, it is not recommended to take Advil.

• 27:49Brooke Averick?

  Well, it's never recommended to take Advil, honestly.

• 27:51Connor Wood?

  True.

• 27:51Brooke Averick?

  So I think, I... Like...

• 27:56Brooke Averick?

  Maybe safe before it's... I don't know. They're always saying Advil is like, never the right option, but personally...

• 28:03Connor Wood?

  Acetaminophen is one of the few pain medication that's generally considered safe to take.

• 28:06Brooke Averick?

  Always gonna be taking Advil.

• 28:09Connor Wood?

  I've been taking an Advil.

• 28:10Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, they're always saying Tylenol is kind of like the safest option whenever anything.

• 28:15Connor Wood?

  I thought it was like Motrin.

• 28:17Brooke Averick?

  Motrin, it doesn't work for me.

• 28:20Connor Wood?

  Motrin is like the JCPenney of Advil.

• 28:24Brooke Averick?

  I know, I feel the same way, sorry.

• 28:26Connor Wood?

  Like, oh, Motrin's still here?

• 28:29Brooke Averick?

  I really like, I always remember when I was, obviously I went to the nurse about 16 times a day.

• 28:34Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 28:34Brooke Averick?

  And she would always offer me Motrin. I was like, oh, Nurse Penny, like.

• 28:37Connor Wood?

  Jesus Christ, Penny.

• 28:38Brooke Averick?

  I need the harder shit, Penny.

• 28:41Connor Wood?

  This shit doesn't do it for me anymore, Penny.

• 28:44Brooke Averick?

  Please.

• 28:44Connor Wood?

  I need Tylenol.

• 28:45Brooke Averick?

  Like, at the bare minimum, Tylenol. I'm asking you for Advil, I will reluctantly accept a Tylenol.

• 28:52Connor Wood?

  I'll just tell everyone this little tidbit, like, kind of like a fun fact. If you have to take pain medication for like several days in a row, you're supposed to switch off between Advil and Tylenol. Because one affects your.

• 29:02Brooke Averick?

  Some people might even take them at the same time.

• 29:04Connor Wood?

  To be safe.

• 29:05Brooke Averick?

  Because they affect different things.

• 29:06Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 29:07Brooke Averick?

  You can take them at the same time, if different active ingredients.

• 29:09Connor Wood?

  But if you take them a lot, it can affect your stomach lining. Advil affects your stomach lining, and then Tylenol affects your, probably fucking some other shit.

• 29:16Brooke Averick?

  I do thi- I'm not a doctor, but like, known that Advil does affect the stomach lining.

• 29:22Connor Wood?

  Yes.

• 29:23Brooke Averick?

  Which is why you shouldn't take it on an empty stomach.

• 29:24Connor Wood?

  Healthiest guy I knew from college, he was a swimmer and so he was always sore. He always had doms.

• 29:29Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 29:29Connor Wood?

  And he was swimming every single day. You're so welcome. And it's a new year. I'm just, to be honest, when we get to our ins and outs, you'll know why I'm just adopting these things that make my life smoother.

• 29:43Brooke Averick?

  Sure.

• 29:43Connor Wood?

  Everyone's life's smoother. I don't want to be oppositional anymore, for views.

• 29:49Brooke Averick?

  Do you, were you oppositional for views?

• 29:51Connor Wood?

  I think sometimes in order to have a conversation, you just like have to disagree for the plot.

• 29:58Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 29:59Connor Wood?

  And I'm not saying play devil's advocate, I'm saying, I don't think so. You know, and I do think so. I do think so. Like, I agree with you. In fact, if you were up, if you were arguing the other thing, I would say the other.

• 30:09Brooke Averick?

  Well, how about you say, I agree, but I'm gonna play devil's advocate?

• 30:12Connor Wood?

  I don't like, for some reason.

• 30:13Brooke Averick?

  Also, I don't even need you to do that, also.

• 30:16Connor Wood?

  Okay. What was I even damn talking about with my fat ass over here?

• 30:21Brooke Averick?

  Sorry, I cut your fat ass off. Uh, Advil? Doms, the swimmer.

• 30:25Connor Wood?

  The guy, yeah. He was the healthiest dude I've ever, like, 0% body fat, just like. A fish. And he was sore all the time, so he would take Advil all the time. Literally destroyed his stomach lining. Every time he ate, he was like in excruciating pain.

• 30:38Brooke Averick?

  That sucks.

• 30:39Connor Wood?

  And he's obviously, he's not even enjoying his food, he's like chicken and rice.

• 30:42Brooke Averick?

  That sucks.

• 30:42Connor Wood?

  If you're gonna be in pain.

• 30:43Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 30:44Connor Wood?

  Have a donut.

• 30:45Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. That sucks.

• 30:47Connor Wood?

  I think the coolest thing I saw recently is that like 12 donuts, you can eat like 12 glazed donuts and it's like one diet Coke. In terms of like sugar intake.

• 30:56Brooke Averick?

  There's no way.

• 30:57Connor Wood?

  I don't make the facts, actually I do make a lot of facts.

• 31:00Brooke Averick?

  Glazed donuts?

• 31:01Connor Wood?

  Um, Izzy, can we look at the graphic one more time? How many glazed donuts to one Coke? The number of glazed donuts that contain the same amount of sugar as a bug, depends on the type of donut. No shit.

• 31:11Brooke Averick?

  Three.

• 31:12Connor Wood?

  I hate Google AI.

• 31:14Brooke Averick?

  But also is it a munchkin?

• 31:18Connor Wood?

  Okay, Krispy Kreme glazed donut has 10 grams of sugar. This means sugar content in a Coke equals four Krispy Kreme donuts. So that, like, I'd rather have four Krispy Kreme donuts than a Coke. But I'm never having those at the same time. This is kind of like a false comparison because I'm never like, should I have a Coke or should I have four Krispy Kremes? Like, those are different times of the day.

• 31:41Brooke Averick?

  I've never seen you drink a Coke.

• 31:43Connor Wood?

  I wouldn't.

• 31:44Brooke Averick?

  Really?

• 31:45Connor Wood?

  Every now and then if I'm on my, like, deathbed, or if I'm just feeling it, I'll get a diet Coke. But that was the tinks effect, I never wanted to, I never had a yearning for a diet Coke ever in my life. Until all these chicos were like, don't even talk to me until I've had my 18th diet Coke of the day.

• 32:02Brooke Averick?

  Well, I always, and still do, like, I always wish that I liked soda. Like, when I was a kid, it felt like I was missing out on so much at birthday parties. And even now, when someone orders a diet Coke, it just looks so good and refreshing. It just tastes yucky to me.

• 32:17Connor Wood?

  Sometimes I'll have a diet Coke and it burns. I'm like, that can't be good.

• 32:20Brooke Averick?

  And that I hate those bubbles.

• 32:22Connor Wood?

  I know, I love sparkling water. I actually, the reason I gave up soda originally is because I had a dare with someone when I was 12 that like I could go without soda longer than he could. And then I found out he cheated. He was sneaking sodas. And so I said, to prove him wrong, I'm gonna go 100 days without soda. And then for whatever reason, like, I literally was started to picture like, you know when they show you how soda's made and like the soft, the fountains, the soft drink fountains? And it's like literally just like syrup, sugar syrup, and then like sparkling water? I was like, that's all I could taste when I would, when I had another one, I was like, I actually don't even want it anymore.

• 32:57Brooke Averick?

  Damn.

• 32:58Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 33:00Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. How was your break?

• 33:01Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh, thanks. Uh, it was really, really, um, long.

• 33:07Brooke Averick?

  Mm-hmm.

• 33:08Connor Wood?

  I feel like I had, I was one of those people that experienced it as being like, okay, I'm like, ready to go back and like, get emails again. I didn't get any email, which was for whatever reason, like, freaking me out, because I think Q4 is always like, boom, boom, boom, like, work, work, work. And all of a sudden to go from that to just like, cold turkey, no email, no Gmail. Papa's hungry. I need an email. I like, literally needed an email. I signed up for alerts from like, random websites, so I could get the vibration.

• 33:35Brooke Averick?

  I get that.

• 33:35Connor Wood?

  And it was at my parents' house for like, eight days, and then I was in Austin for New Year's, which was so fun. Um, but really, nothing really went down. Like, I really have nothing to report, I don't think.

• 33:48Brooke Averick?

  That's fine.

• 33:49Connor Wood?

  It was, it was a blessing.

• 33:50Brooke Averick?

  No, we, we, our fat asses love just like, a chill break in our pajamas doing nothing.

• 33:56Connor Wood?

  It was so chill, but it also was like, I, eh, like, I'm like, having a panic attack. Like, I need some action. I need something to go down. But it was great, because I, I like, got to hang out with Mimi, and I hang out with Max every single day, 24/7.

• 34:12Brooke Averick?

  He was probably glued to you.

• 34:14Connor Wood?

  Yeah. He's got like, a nice little life down in Texas. He loves, he's got a big-

• 34:19Brooke Averick?

  That yard?

• 34:19Connor Wood?

  Friggin' yard that he runs around in. Um, Mimi takes him to go see the horses every day in this, like, dog park.

• 34:26Brooke Averick?

  Is Mimi living there now?

• 34:27Connor Wood?

  Yeah, because she can't be in Idaho during the winter. It's gnar, gnarly. She's like, it's hard to shovel.

• 34:32Brooke Averick?

  For the summer?

• 34:33Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 34:35Connor Wood?

  Anyhow, um, Max, one night, we're out, we're on the golf course, and there's a bunch of deer that come on the golf course. There's probably 40 or 50 deer, big deer. Beer, deer are big. People don't know that.

• 34:47Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:47Connor Wood?

  You think Bambi, you think, oh, I can, I can pick up Bambi, hold Bambi in my arms. Bambi was a baby. Bambi was a foal.

• 34:55Connor Wood?

  Um, I think that is what-

• 34:57Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 34:58Connor Wood?

  Baby deer? No.

• 34:59Brooke Averick?

  Uh.

• 35:00Connor Wood?

  Cult. That's a horse. That's, yeah, it's a horse. Thank you, Izzy.

• 35:04Brooke Averick?

  What is a baby deer?

• 35:05Connor Wood?

  A fawn. A fawn.

• 35:07Brooke Averick?

  Fawn.

• 35:09Connor Wood?

  Ain't no fawns in my neck of the woods. It was like bucks. It's these huge. And so we're walking and my dad always likes to be like, Max is fine off leash. I'm like, no. You don't know him.

• 35:20Brooke Averick?

  I've, dogs off leashes scare the shit out of me.

• 35:22Connor Wood?

  Well, it's like.

• 35:23Brooke Averick?

  Not scare the shit out of me, but I'm just like, how would it not run away?

• 35:26Connor Wood?

  So we turn around and walk back the other way because my dad insisted he, and the deer were looking. It's like 40, 50 deer. And we walked back the other way and then we turned because I heard rustling in the woods. The deer were following us. Like 40 deer. And Max froze and my mom was like, get behind a tree. Like it's no survival instinct on this one. It's like, I'm not getting behind a tree. Have you seen a deer kick the shit out of someone before?

• 35:52Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 35:53Connor Wood?

  They're like, they're not athletic. They don't look athletic, but they.

• 35:57Connor Wood?

  And I don't know what a hoof feels like to the sternum, but it's not good. Like it's not gonna feel good. And also the bucks all have horns with like points. So I was kind of freaked out. Max, this one runs by Max. Max takes off. Takes off with it. I'm like, come here. No. Takes off. Neck and neck with this deer, like on its ankle. They run as far as I could see. Air tag your dogs. I followed him. He was two miles away. I found him half, I found him half an hour later, covered in mud. I don't know what happened to this deer.

• 36:26Brooke Averick?

  His fat ass needs to be on a leash.

• 36:27Connor Wood?

  His fat ass is now leash bound.

• 36:29Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 36:31Brooke Averick?

  That's a fat ass that needs to be on a leash.

• 36:33Connor Wood?

  He's leash bound. It was so scary because I was like, it's Texas. Like someone might be like more protective of those deer than my dog. It might just like shoot my dog. You know?

• 36:43Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Yeah, that scares me.

• 36:45Connor Wood?

  I was so freaked out. Yeah, there, it's like a retirement neighborhood. They're all so old and.

• 36:48Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:49Connor Wood?

  Have guns just like in all of their pockets, probably.

• 36:54Connor Wood?

  I guess like the only thing I really did. Besides go on the Palisades hike, that is now probably completely burnt to the ground the, the day before that happened.

• 37:05Connor Wood?

  Was I went to Cirque du Soleil.

• 37:08Brooke Averick?

  Oh wait, your, your stories were so funny.

• 37:10Connor Wood?

  Wait, no one laughed at all, so I deleted all of them.

• 37:14Brooke Averick?

  Connor, trust yourself.

• 37:16Connor Wood?

  I know. But I went to Cirque du Soleil. So basically when I got home from Texas, I was walking and my neighbors that I haven't met were like out on their back patio and they're all drinking. I'm doing Dry January again, to no one's surprise. It's actually been a lovely Dry January. I feel like. Good. Which I've never felt after Trigane before. I'm always like I'm like always like grumpy, alcoholic old man. But I walked by my neighbors and I'm like, hell, you whatever. Like you don't live here. And they were like, oh yeah, we just moved in, blah, blah. They seemed cool too. So I was like

• 37:50Brooke Averick?

  Are they young?

• 37:51Connor Wood?

  Young, yeah. I should probably have thirty.

• 37:52Brooke Averick?

  Are they together?

• 37:54Connor Wood?

  It was like a group of them. There was like two people that lived there and then two people that I couldn't tell if they lived there, didn't ask. And they were like, our new landlord gave us Cirque du Soleil tickets. Do you want to go? I was like, yeah. New Leaf, going with people to Cirque du Soleil.

• 38:06Brooke Averick?

  Whoa.

• 38:08Connor Wood?

  And so I go with them and it was so much fun. Didn't know what Cirque du Soleil is.

• 38:12Brooke Averick?

  Oh, it's a

• 38:13Connor Wood?

  Have you been?

• 38:14Brooke Averick?

  When I was little, I went.

• 38:15Connor Wood?

  Oh my god. I, oh my god.

• 38:18Brooke Averick?

  To me, I remember being like, this is a magic show. Cause it's like, it's just like magical what these people can do with their fat asses.

• 38:25Connor Wood?

  Their fat asses were flying. The titties were bouncing left to right.

• 38:30Brooke Averick?

  Yes, that's an instance where it is a complete X-axis situation.

• 38:35Connor Wood?

  There was no rules. There's no laws of gravity.

• 38:39Brooke Averick?

  Defying gravity.

• 38:40Connor Wood?

  Defying gravity.

• 38:41Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 38:41Connor Wood?

  And the weird part was like, it was technically, I guess a musical, but it felt like I was in The Sims. No one spoke English, really. It was like

• 38:51Connor Wood?

  and it was funky and it was fresh. And it was in a tent and it was pitch black and it was daytime when we went in. And it was so effing cool. It was the first time I've been to something like that and I was like, I had no thoughts. I was just like, and when you walk out, they all clapped for you to get from going. I was like,

• 39:06Brooke Averick?

  Wow.

• 39:07Connor Wood?

  This is my chosen family.

• 39:08Brooke Averick?

  Wow.

• 39:08Connor Wood?

  Brooke, I might join the circus.

• 39:09Brooke Averick?

  I was literally just about to say, it sounds like you might join the circus.

• 39:12Connor Wood?

  I have no skills or anything, but they could like, I'll, I'll, I'll walk the tightrope.

• 39:17Brooke Averick?

  I could see you learning to juggle or something.

• 39:18Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I went to Kooza. I went to Koozamel on, on Sunday.

• 39:22Brooke Averick?

  That's so fun.

• 39:23Connor Wood?

  It was so damn cool.

• 39:25Brooke Averick?

  I'd love to go to something like that.

• 39:26Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh.

• 39:27Brooke Averick?

  Is it still up and running?

• 39:28Connor Wood?

  It was the last day.

• 39:28Brooke Averick?

  Damn.

• 39:29Connor Wood?

  I know. It was the coolest thing ever. So the issue, the thing that you saw, so I said like, it was the night of the Golden Globes and I posted on my story. I was like, the Golden Globes were remarkable tonight. Here's some of the highlights that you didn't get to see from in person. And I said like, Here's a girl flying down the like rope thing. And I was like Nikki Glaser's entrance was impeccable.

• 39:49Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. At first I was like huh, I didn't know he was at the Golden Globes. He's in an angle that I didn't experience.

• 39:55Connor Wood?

  Literally some bitch is 40 feet in the air.

• 39:57Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 39:58Connor Wood?

  It's not Nikki Glaser.

• 39:58Brooke Averick?

  It took me till the third story to be like huh.

• 40:00Connor Wood?

  No, Brooke.

• 40:01Brooke Averick?

  I don't think he's at the Golden Globes. I even pulled out my Find My Friends. You gotta turn your location on one of these days.

• 40:06Connor Wood?

  It's on.

• 40:07Brooke Averick?

  No, it's not.

• 40:08Connor Wood?

  Brooke, it's on.

• 40:08Brooke Averick?

  Your location's never on.

• 40:11Connor Wood?

  My ass has location on.

• 40:14Brooke Averick?

  It doesn't ever. Oh my God, your location's on. That's, don't try and gaslight me, your location's always off.

• 40:21Connor Wood?

  Well, I got a new phone. I think it works now on this phone.

• 40:27Connor Wood?

  But I had an amazing time, but I posted, I was like, oh yeah, Selena Gomez just mounted Benny Blanco on this unicycle. And everyone was like, what? I was like, you guys, what? And then at the last story slide, I said, thank you Enron for my tickets.

• 40:42Connor Wood?

  Enron is like a debunked energy company that, like, I don't know what.

• 40:47Brooke Averick?

  That, see, to me, that I did think that was serious. I didn't know who they were. But I did think you were thanking them for the Cirque du Soleil tickets. So I kind, I knew it wasn't the Golden Globes.

• 40:57Connor Wood?

  Like, everyone thought my story was serious. No, Brooke.

• 40:59Brooke Averick?

  No, I knew it wasn't serious. The Enron I didn't get, but.

• 41:01Connor Wood?

  You are not alone. Many, I think I had like two people being like, I'm crying, this is so funny. But most people were like, whoa, like I, literally what you said, I didn't see this angle. And I'm like, there are three motherfuckers on a bike on a tightrope, 80 feet in the air. And I said it was Jeff Bezos.

• 41:19Brooke Averick?

  Well, when we were at the, where did we go? The AMAs?

• 41:22Connor Wood?

  The AMAs.

• 41:23Brooke Averick?

  Pink was flying.

• 41:24Connor Wood?

  Pink flies, though. Pink probably flies.

• 41:27Brooke Averick?

  Still, you just, you never know in Hollywood.

• 41:30Connor Wood?

  Pink probably flies from her bed to her kitchen.

• 41:32Brooke Averick?

  Mm-hmm.

• 41:34Connor Wood?

  Her, her fat ass cannot be tied down.

• 41:36Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:38Connor Wood?

  She's defying gravity. She should have played Elphaba.

• 41:43Brooke Averick?

  No. No.

• 41:45Connor Wood?

  Um.

• 41:49Brooke Averick?

  Uh.

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• 43:06Brooke Averick?

  I, I.

• 43:07Connor Wood?

  Go ahead.

• 43:07Brooke Averick?

  I have a Golden Globes story.

• 43:08Connor Wood?

  I knew you were gonna talk about the Golden Globes, so I want you to talk about the Golden Globes.

• 43:11Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 43:12Connor Wood?

  I feel like everything I just shared was just so, okay? Question mark?

• 43:17Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 43:17Connor Wood?

  I had, I had nothing.

• 43:18Brooke Averick?

  Thank you for sharing.

• 43:18Connor Wood?

  Truly, truly nothing to share from my break.

• 43:22Brooke Averick?

  This, what I'm about to share?

• 43:23Connor Wood?

  Oh, I saw Beyonce. Sorry, I saw Beyonce, too.

• 43:26Brooke Averick?

  Where?

• 43:26Connor Wood?

  At the Texans game.

• 43:28Brooke Averick?

  Oh, that's great.

• 43:29Connor Wood?

  And Post Malone and Shaboozie.

• 43:32Connor Wood?

  Do not understand the Shaboozie hype, and I'll leave it there. Thank you.

• 43:36Brooke Averick?

  You've glitter on your upper lip.

• 43:38Connor Wood?

  It's from my mic from when I was Rudolph.

• 43:41Brooke Averick?

  Great.

• 43:41Connor Wood?

  Since I was Rudolph.

• 43:44Brooke Averick?

  Um, okay, what I'm about to say, my heart is pounding and my, my palms are sweating.

• 43:50Brooke Averick?

  This was

• 43:51Connor Wood?

  You're nervous.

• 43:51Brooke Averick?

  This was, yeah, this was really crazy.

• 43:53Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 43:53Brooke Averick?

  And like, this is a person that I don't typically like to talk about on air because I always am scared that me talking about him is gonna make its way across his, when I say his, I'm talking capital H, his desk, cuz he, he, this person is like a very private person who I, who I respect more than, more than anything, and I just wouldn't, I just don't wanna talk about him if he, if he wouldn't like that, and I don't want it to come across his desk, but I have to tell, I have to share my story.

• 44:22Connor Wood?

  Share it.

• 44:23Brooke Averick?

  Um, so it was the day of the Golden Globes, it was Sunday, and some friends and I wanted to go on a walk, and I was like, let's like walk around Beverly Hills, cuz like it's the Golden Globes, like, everyone that is attending is probably around there, like especially around the Beverly Hills Hotel, like it'll be such a fun vibe, and like, my fat ass might even wanna walk into the Beverly Hills Hotel and see.

• 44:44Connor Wood?

  You're allowed to.

• 44:45Brooke Averick?

  You're totally allowed, it's a public place, great place to eat, you could get a salad for only fifty five USD, um, and just like, it really is just, it really is one of my favorite places, it is just stunning.

• 44:56Connor Wood?

  It's kind of like

• 44:56Brooke Averick?

  Love going there.

• 44:57Connor Wood?

  It's kind of like a whole ass vibe.

• 44:59Brooke Averick?

  It's almost a whole ass vibe, you know, it's always fun to stop by, so I was like, yeah, let's, let's walk around, let's walk around Beverly Hills, um, see what, what we find, whatever. Walking around Beverly Hills, I'm like, what if we almost walked by, what if we almost walked into the Beverly Hills Hotel, and everyone was like, oh, yeah, that sounds fun, let's do it. We walk into Beverly Hills Hotel, we're walking in, I say, by the way, guys, like if we, you know, I don't know, if we see Andrew Garfield or something like that, just like, don't say anything, like, be cool, there was like something in my system that was like he's, like I'm off to a fucking flame, I was like, my man's in there.

• 45:35Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 45:37Brooke Averick?

  Um, so I was like, be cool, so we walked down to the pool, which is like where the like cafe is that you can have lunch at, um, we go to the hostess, and Brett, my friend Brett, just goes, yeah, I mean, yeah, there's Andrew, and I was like, I thought he was joking, I didn't like even look, and Marshall goes, oh, there he is, my fat ass looks to the right, I can't stress enough to you, I was

• 46:05Brooke Averick?

  Feet away from, from that young man.

• 46:09Connor Wood?

  Mm-hmm.

• 46:11Brooke Averick?

  Who, and he was eating with some people that I was also like.

• 46:15Connor Wood?

  Who?

• 46:17Brooke Averick?

  Um, Luca Guadagnino, I just realize I've never said his last name out loud.

• 46:22Connor Wood?

  I think you got it right.

• 46:23Brooke Averick?

  How you say it.

• 46:24Connor Wood?

  You got it right.

• 46:24Brooke Averick?

  But, um, I was just like, okay.

• 46:27Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 46:28Brooke Averick?

  Um, so then immediately I, I just turn around and I'm just like this, you know? That's it. That's all I wanted. Like that, that's all I could have ever asked for it is to just share the air. And, and so my friends were like, let's, you know, let's eat here. And so we put our names on the lid.

• 46:43Connor Wood?

  Were you guys dressed, right?

• 46:44Brooke Averick?

  I was in leggings and a workout top, which is fine. Like you can wear that. Um, but you know, had I known.

• 46:53Connor Wood?

  Ball gown.

• 46:54Brooke Averick?

  Ball gown. Um, so.

• 46:58Connor Wood?

  The thing is you didn't know.

• 46:59Brooke Averick?

  I didn't. I did, but I didn't.

• 47:01Connor Wood?

  You didn't know and because of that, you, it was a positive experience. You couldn't have known.

• 47:09Brooke Averick?

  No, it was awesome because I didn't like really get the chance to psych myself out or anything.

• 47:12Connor Wood?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 47:13Brooke Averick?

  It wasn't like, I wasn't, there was no way that I was gonna like go up to him and bother him. So it was like low. I wasn't like in my head like, oh my God, what should I say? I'm gonna make a fool of myself. It was just like, I'm just there.

• 47:24Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 47:25Brooke Averick?

  So we couldn't get, we couldn't get seated for another hour. So it's like, that's great. Like I got my look in. We walked out and then a half hour later I was like, let's just go back and see if our table's ready. Cause I was almost wanting to sit there with him for a little bit, maybe. Um, we went back, our table was ready.

• 47:43Connor Wood?

  Mm-hmm.

• 47:44Brooke Averick?

  Uh, and it was at that point where we were being seated. He said, like, I could even hear him be like, all right, guys, I have to go. Cause you know, his fat ass has to get in glam.

• 47:54Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 47:55Brooke Averick?

  Um.

• 47:56Connor Wood?

  He had to get his beard groomed.

• 47:57Brooke Averick?

  He had to get that beard groomed.

• 47:58Connor Wood?

  It looked good.

• 47:58Brooke Averick?

  And he looked awesome, which is like so insane that I got to see him right before he went and did the damn thing looking like that. Um, but then he got up from the table, what we were walking to, to the table next to him. And what's crazy is like. We were just like, he just almost was like, you know how you just like simply acknowledge people in a way? Like it's not, I kind of forget, I almost blacked out almost. He was like a nod, it was like a very like casual, like I acknowledge that you are walking by me right now. Every, all of us were looking at our feet. But yeah, so he walked right by and then we were seated, everyone else at his table was still there, his, his empty chair was there and so I was seated like right next to his empty chair.

• 48:43Connor Wood?

  Did you smell?

• 48:43Brooke Averick?

  He was in a graphic tee and jeans. No, I didn't, I was, cause I'm, I'm not like a, I'm not, like I'm just a girl. And he's just a guy, you know? But it is so crazy when you see people that you're so fond of and you realize like, that is a person with skin and organs, and it's just like a human being. Like he was like a normal height. It's crazy.

• 49:07Connor Wood?

  That's beautiful.

• 49:08Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, he's wearing sneakers. It's awesome.

• 49:12Connor Wood?

  That's gorgeous.

• 49:13Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 49:13Connor Wood?

  I'm happy you had that experience.

• 49:14Brooke Averick?

  He, I, it's insane. So as of now, I have been in the same room as all of my celebrity crushes.

• 49:20Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 49:21Brooke Averick?

  He was the last one.

• 49:23Connor Wood?

  That's incredible.

• 49:24Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 49:24Connor Wood?

  What a way to start 2025.

• 49:26Brooke Averick?

  What a way to start 2025. I, maybe that's a sign of something. But Connor, I can't stress enough, like I knew, my, it was like a moth to a flame, I knew he was gonna be there.

• 49:34Connor Wood?

  That's.

• 49:35Brooke Averick?

  In a not soccer way, and it's just like, I, my heart's calling out to another heart.

• 49:42Connor Wood?

  And he nodded at you.

• 49:44Brooke Averick?

  In a way, it wasn't like a physical nod.

• 49:47Connor Wood?

  It was like.

• 49:48Brooke Averick?

  I can't explain it, it's just like.

• 49:48Connor Wood?

  I can explain it, I can explain it.

• 49:50Brooke Averick?

  Acknowledgement in the air.

• 49:50Connor Wood?

  I can explain it, I can explain it, I can explain it. Like when someone rescues like an owl, and they're like, we let it go and it stopped at like the edge of the forest and like, looked back and like I could just feel that it was saying thank you.

• 50:04Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I felt him, I felt an acknowledgement, the energy in the air. It was a non, a nod that had no movement.

• 50:13Brooke Averick?

  He looked, like I'm not even, like he looked at, like it's, we were this, see this, this.

• 50:18Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I, yeah, wow.

• 50:19Brooke Averick?

  It was really crazy. I'm gonna get our resolutions that we wrote last year and go through them.

• 50:22Connor Wood?

  Oh yeah, happy 2025.

• 50:26Connor Wood?

  Um, while you're getting those, I'm just gonna talk about how many people got engaged on my Instagram over the break. It was every single person I've ever met got engaged. And for some reason, it didn't affect, you know, I'm in my pajamas at my parents' house, just like sitting there like, sitting crisscross applesauce as an adult man, being like, "Oh my gosh, another one, that's great." And then Dua Lipa gets engaged. And like, it's one thing for everyone I've ever met in high school to get engaged, but Dua Lipa to get engaged over the holidays was an act of terrorism.

• 51:00Connor Wood?

  And then to just like, post it? Are you, what, you're proud of it and you're rubbing it in right now?

• 51:06Brooke Averick?

  Did she post?

• 51:07Connor Wood?

  She posted out.

• 51:10Connor Wood?

  And the first picture was her and, you know what? I can't even be mad because it's so nice to see two gorgeous celebrities find each other for the first time in a long time, I think. Hot people rarely find each other, it seems like they're drawn to

• 51:28Connor Wood?

  the other side of the spectrum.

• 51:29Brooke Averick?

  I'm not seeing an engagement post.

• 51:31Connor Wood?

  Well, it's a picture of her and him, after, the day after they were reportedly engaged, so, yeah, and what are you gonna do?

• 51:40Brooke Averick?

  She is so gorgeous.

• 51:41Connor Wood?

  She's, she's, you're ethereal.

• 51:45Brooke Averick?

  You're so scary.

• 51:46Connor Wood?

  You're ethereal.

• 51:47Brooke Averick?

  How old is she?

• 51:48Connor Wood?

  She's 29.

• 51:49Brooke Averick?

  I'm obsessed with Googling how old people are now.

• 51:51Connor Wood?

  Oh wait, she's 28. Guess, oh wait, I'm guessing.

• 51:53Brooke Averick?

  But when was she born?

• 51:55Connor Wood?

  Probably 28 years ago.

• 51:56Brooke Averick?

  I really like have to see like, to the date, how old people are now.

• 51:59Connor Wood?

  I bet it!

• 52:01Brooke Averick?

  Dua Lipa age.

• 52:02Connor Wood?

  I bet she was born in August.

• 52:03Brooke Averick?

  29, 29.

• 52:04Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 52:04Brooke Averick?

  Thank god.

• 52:05Connor Wood?

  August 20th.

• 52:06Brooke Averick?

  Moth to a...

• 52:07Connor Wood?

  No, no, no, I didn't know that. That was weird. I agree, that was weird. Did not know that.

• 52:14Brooke Averick?

  Found out someone that like I thought was my age recently, who's like 22. It's getting to the point where it's like, I have no idea how old people are.

• 52:22Connor Wood?

  No, no idea. Um, also, when I find out like a quarterback in the NFL is like 26, I'm like, "Oh." Oh.

• 52:31Brooke Averick?

  I really, it is horrible that people.

• 52:33Connor Wood?

  Oh my god.

• 52:34Brooke Averick?

  Okay, let's get to this.

• 52:35Connor Wood?

  You started looking at Bridges like, I should jump off that. Alright, um, okay.

• 52:40Brooke Averick?

  Ready?

• 52:41Connor Wood?

  Happy New Year, you guys. I hope everyone had good resolutions. Let's do our new, let's write down some new resolutions after.

• 52:46Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 52:47Connor Wood?

  You're gonna hand me?

• 52:48Brooke Averick?

  Let's do that. Yeah, okay. Do you want me to read them or am I gonna hand them to you?

• 52:52Connor Wood?

  Wait, are you, are you gonna, wait, are you gonna read off all of them?

• 52:55Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 52:56Connor Wood?

  Or do you want me to read off yours? I'll read off.

• 52:57Brooke Averick?

  No, or if you want. Do you want that?

• 53:00Connor Wood?

  I don't know, you can read them off.

• 53:01Brooke Averick?

  No, do you want mine?

• 53:05Connor Wood?

  Whatever.

• 53:05Brooke Averick?

  Oh my god, wait.

• 53:06Connor Wood?

  What?

• 53:07Brooke Averick?

  Okay, I'm just gonna read them. Or do you want to read them?

• 53:09Connor Wood?

  I'm scared of, yeah, no, go ahead, read them. These are our resolutions that we put in a box, if you're listening.

• 53:13Brooke Averick?

  Right off the bat, let's get this out of the way. I will go on one date, that was mine, didn't do it, get that out of the way.

• 53:19Connor Wood?

  Well, you probably put it back in the box.

• 53:21Brooke Averick?

  Oh, yeah, I'll put it back.

• 53:22Connor Wood?

  If you wanna go on a date.

• 53:23Brooke Averick?

  I am gonna do that this year.

• 53:24Connor Wood?

  Cool.

• 53:25Brooke Averick?

  Obviously, like, you said, I'm gonna have a comedy special.

• 53:29Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 53:30Brooke Averick?

  And, no, no, and a com- a bigger comedy tour. You did that.

• 53:35Connor Wood?

  Yeah, um, I wanna catch that one on fire, cuz what was I thinking that I would have a comedy special right now?

• 53:41Brooke Averick?

  You probably will shortly. You also said I'm gonna be on TV.

• 53:46Connor Wood?

  Was I on TV at all? I was on the news, but I wasn't.

• 53:49Brooke Averick?

  Perfect, you were on TV then.

• 53:50Connor Wood?

  Okay. I was on the news cuz my neighbor killed someone.

• 53:54Brooke Averick?

  I said I'll move to a place I love.

• 53:57Connor Wood?

  I guess that counts.

• 53:59Brooke Averick?

  It does count. I did this, I moved to a place that I loved. That's great. Fabulous.

• 54:07Connor Wood?

  That's good.

• 54:07Brooke Averick?

  This is also me. Someone will be obsessed with me.

• 54:10Connor Wood?

  That, yeah, that happened and it actually was, I was actually middleman in that. And I'll leave, and I'll leave it directly there.

• 54:18Brooke Averick?

  My cat, I'm thinking.

• 54:19Connor Wood?

  Oh, well, that's not a someone, that's a something.

• 54:22Brooke Averick?

  No, he's not, I wouldn't say something.

• 54:25Connor Wood?

  I guess he is a.

• 54:25Brooke Averick?

  A living being is obsessed with me.

• 54:27Connor Wood?

  Being, but I wouldn't say someone.

• 54:28Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 54:28Connor Wood?

  That feels like a person.

• 54:29Brooke Averick?

  Some being is obsessed with me, so it's close enough. Surely.

• 54:33Connor Wood?

  Okay, yeah, yes, but also there is a person, at least one.

• 54:37Brooke Averick?

  Alright.

• 54:42Brooke Averick?

  This says people were like obsessed. Wow, that's crazy. That was only a year.

• 54:46Connor Wood?

  Whoa, and they did.

• 54:47Brooke Averick?

  They did.

• 54:48Connor Wood?

  I saw a TikTok and some, someone had a tombstone.

• 54:51Brooke Averick?

  I know.

• 54:51Connor Wood?

  With obsessed written on it.

• 54:53Brooke Averick?

  I'll be completely ripped and healthy. Alright.

• 54:57Connor Wood?

  Rip that to shreds.

• 54:58Brooke Averick?

  Alrighty.

• 54:58Connor Wood?

  No, wait, actually, keep that.

• 55:00Brooke Averick?

  You want me to keep it in?

• 55:00Connor Wood?

  I'm healthy.

• 55:01Brooke Averick?

  You are.

• 55:02Connor Wood?

  How about me knowing for, I'm saying I'm healthy, me knowing for a fact because I went in and got blood tests and they were like, "Get the fuck out of this office. You are 100%. Every organ is working perfectly. You, your blood test couldn't be more normal." I was like,

• 55:18Connor Wood?

  "Run those tests again, doctor." Something can't, something has to be off. Nope, you are healthy. Oh my gosh, that just goes to show how much mental

• 55:27Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 55:27Connor Wood?

  stress we just put ourselves under thinking we must have cancer.

• 55:30Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 55:30Connor Wood?

  You know?

• 55:31Brooke Averick?

  Anxiety is like so powerful.

• 55:33Connor Wood?

  Chill out. Anyways.

• 55:35Brooke Averick?

  You wrote, "Something so good will happen."

• 55:40Connor Wood?

  I guess, I'll just put that one back in the box.

• 55:43Brooke Averick?

  You don't feel like something so good happened?

• 55:45Connor Wood?

  I don't know. I guess it's all perspective.

• 55:47Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. This is empty. Did I write this? Like, we did a six month ago check-in or something?

• 55:54Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 55:55Brooke Averick?

  This says, "A publishing house I love will publish my book," which

• 56:00Brooke Averick?

  that doesn't really count because that was like recent-ish.

• 56:04Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 56:06Connor Wood?

  Boo.

• 56:06Brooke Averick?

  What is?

• 56:10Brooke Averick?

  Do you want me to read the?

• 56:11Connor Wood?

  Sure.

• 56:12Brooke Averick?

  You said, "I'll find the perfect NYC apartment and everything will work out with the podcast."

• 56:18Connor Wood?

  Yeah, that's true. I am moving to New York City next month.

• 56:24Connor Wood?

  Woohoo! Nothing is going on at all with our podcast or with our friendship or with it, like, we are good. We are good. We are so good. I, it's just, I wanted to change scenery. Been here for a while. And that's it. And Max, stay and answer the Max questions. He's with his grandparents because I'm going back on tour and more to come there. Not to be like someone who's excited to announce, but like, I just can't say it yet because it's not my place to announce. So there's something else coming out.

• 56:51Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 56:52Connor Wood?

  But that is exciting and it'll be really fun and watch the space and then, and then we'll have a place to record in New York City, literally. So.

• 57:04Brooke Averick?

  And we will figure out what to do with the podcast shortly.

• 57:08Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I mean, it's.

• 57:09Brooke Averick?

  But it will be, it will be in, in action as usual.

• 57:12Connor Wood?

  Yeah, we have.

• 57:13Brooke Averick?

  Everything is moving forward as it always has.

• 57:16Connor Wood?

  Nothing will change. I'm really pissed off about being ripped. Like, I really should be ripped right now. Oh, also, if any, like, real estate moguls are listening to the podcast and you have just, like, randomly, like, an open two-bedroom apartment, and it's got, like, a fireplace, maybe, like, a hot tub, like, feel, like, I would totally take it off your hands if it's burning a hole in your pocket. I'll manage the property for you.

• 57:40Brooke Averick?

  Don't worry, he already is on the plane a lot. He'll be coming back here

• 57:45Brooke Averick?

  to see us.

• 57:45Connor Wood?

  Tons. Yeah, I have this weird feeling, and, like, I'm gonna just say to the manifestation space that I'm gonna get, like, some job in Los Angeles the month that I, like, the first couple of weeks that's gonna make me come back.

• 57:58Brooke Averick?

  It might be worth exploring bi-coastality.

• 58:02Connor Wood?

  I've always had an open mind, Brooke.

• 58:04Brooke Averick?

  I know.

• 58:04Connor Wood?

  I've nev-, yep, I don't like to put a label on that, but bi-coastality might be it. Tri-coastality might even be it.

• 58:10Brooke Averick?

  Mm-hmm. I could see that for you.

• 58:12Connor Wood?

  Because I might move to, I might, I might have a place in Texas.

• 58:14Brooke Averick?

  I was about to say, I could see you being tri-coastal, Austin, LA.

• 58:17Connor Wood?

  Yeah, and I might, I might need to live down on the Gulf of America.

• 58:20Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I could see that for you.

• 58:22Connor Wood?

  Um, Trump is naming, renaming the Gulf of Mexico Gulf of America.

• 58:25Brooke Averick?

  Oh, pretty.

• 58:26Connor Wood?

  And he's in talks to, talks to buy Greenland as well as Canada, and he's being completely serious. And the funniest thing about the Greenland purchase, I, I went and did a deep dive on Twitter, is that everyone thinks he's buying it because he thinks it's, like, this massive piece of land, but it's obscured because of some, some thing that when, when they print the globe, it stretches it, but when they put it flat, they didn't adjust for, like, the visual stretching, so, like, it's really, like, way smaller, and everyone's saying, like, he doesn't realize that. Why do we need, oh, I guess Greenland's pretty close to Russia. I'm done talking about that. I do love the new feature on Twitter where you can use that AI thing when I don't understand what they're talking about.

• 59:10Connor Wood?

  I click it, and then you click the AI thing, and it, like, explains it. One good thing. There, Elon, I'll give you one good thing about Twitter.

• 59:18Brooke Averick?

  I actually didn't even know about that feature.

• 59:19Connor Wood?

  I'll show you how to use it, because I just figured out how to use it, like, two days ago, but, um, I'll just mansplain it to you when we stop recording.

• 59:25Brooke Averick?

  Okay, perfect. Can we really quickly do our ins and outs and predictions?

• 59:29Connor Wood?

  That's the biggest thing that I wanted to do.

• 59:30Brooke Averick?

  I know, me too.

• 59:33Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh, my dad's calling me. Can I really quickly answer? He's worried about the fuckers.

• 59:36Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, of course.

• 59:38Connor Wood?

  Hello?

• 59:39Speaker 06

  How's it going?

• 59:40Connor Wood?

  It's good. Um, I'm gonna put you on speaker, cuz we are on the podcast. You're on the podcast, father.

• 59:45Speaker 06

  Oh, that's awesome.

• 59:48Connor Wood?

  Yeah. What?

• 59:51Speaker 06

  How much money do I get?

• 59:52Connor Wood?

  Oh, we'll have to... We'll be in touch with your people. Um, we are not evacuating. It's over in Santa Monica, and I think they're barely evacuating Santa Monica for now.

• 1:00:04Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:00:04Connor Wood?

  So, I think we're good.

• 1:00:06Speaker 06

  Alright.

• 1:00:07Connor Wood?

  Knock on wood.

• 1:00:09Speaker 06

  Good, because your podcast is still going.

• 1:00:11Connor Wood?

  That's all we need, is the podcast.

• 1:00:13Speaker 06

  Well, you and the million other people listening.

• 1:00:16Connor Wood?

  Yes.

• 1:00:17Brooke Averick?

  Aww.

• 1:00:18Connor Wood?

  Exactly. Um, I'll text you after.

• 1:00:22Speaker 06

  Okay, alright, love you.

• 1:00:23Connor Wood?

  Alright, love you, bye. Um, yeah, ins and outs, and...

• 1:00:27Brooke Averick?

  Such a sweetheart.

• 1:00:28Connor Wood?

  Credit, she owns. Um...

• 1:00:32Brooke Averick?

  Alright, ready? I only have two predictions. I'm not good at that.

• 1:00:37Connor Wood?

  I'm not either, I have one.

• 1:00:39Brooke Averick?

  How about you share it?

• 1:00:41Connor Wood?

  Um, I just wanna point out, remember a year ago, I said, "I think Instagram's going to expand their pictures to have Facebook photo album style."

• 1:00:49Brooke Averick?

  Oh yeah, you totally got that right.

• 1:00:51Connor Wood?

  Called that, and it was like, not even kind of a thing yet.

• 1:00:54Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:54Connor Wood?

  I am so freaking over people posting 20 photos now.

• 1:00:58Brooke Averick?

  I just did it, sorry.

• 1:00:59Connor Wood?

  I think year end is the exception, like, that's fine. But people go, do like a staycation, and they post 20 photos. I guess, let people enjoy themselves, like, shut up. Okay, yeah. I'm not gonna scroll through it, and like, that's just... Like, enjoy your, enjoy your, enjoy your giant dump, like, who am I to...

• 1:01:20Brooke Averick?

  What's your prediction?

• 1:01:21Connor Wood?

  Take that from you. Um, Queen Latifah comeback is my first one.

• 1:01:26Brooke Averick?

  Oh, that's a good one.

• 1:01:27Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:29Brooke Averick?

  Mine is that there will be another singing show, like Glee. And that, my second one is that Justin Baldoni and Armie Hammer are gonna start a podcast.

• 1:01:38Connor Wood?

  Wow.

• 1:01:39Brooke Averick?

  About like, men being canceled in Hollywood unjustly, quote unquote.

• 1:01:45Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh, the new, the new boys on the block.

• 1:01:49Brooke Averick?

  Like literal boys on the block.

• 1:01:53Connor Wood?

  Wow.

• 1:01:53Brooke Averick?

  And if they don't start a podcast, there will be a collaboration between those two men.

• 1:01:56Connor Wood?

  Don't get mad at me, I literally only have the Queen Latifah prediction.

• 1:02:00Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I'm not, that was my only two.

• 1:02:01Connor Wood?

  I have a ton of ins and outs. We can do more predictions as we move forward in the years as well. Like, maybe there will be more. But let's do ins and outs.

• 1:02:11Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 1:02:12Connor Wood?

  Okay. Do you want to start?

• 1:02:16Brooke Averick?

  Ins: musical theater.

• 1:02:20Brooke Averick?

  I think Wicked is really like making that hopefully like mainstream.

• 1:02:23Connor Wood?

  And Cirque du Soleil.

• 1:02:25Brooke Averick?

  And Cirque du Soleil too, almost, yeah. Women in comedy.

• 1:02:28Connor Wood?

  Oh wait, just do one, I'll do an out.

• 1:02:30Brooke Averick?

  Sorry, sorry.

• 1:02:31Connor Wood?

  So in?

• 1:02:32Brooke Averick?

  Musical theater.

• 1:02:34Connor Wood?

  Out: tagging people on the edge of your story. I want to see who that is. Don't be evil. Tag in the middle.

• 1:02:41Brooke Averick?

  In: women in comedy.

• 1:02:44Connor Wood?

  Out: hand dryers in bathrooms. Too loud?

• 1:02:47Brooke Averick?

  Hundred fifty percent.

• 1:02:48Connor Wood?

  Sprays water everywhere.

• 1:02:49Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, hate that.

• 1:02:50Connor Wood?

  You don't like that. Okay, use your pants.

• 1:02:52Brooke Averick?

  In: cats.

• 1:02:55Connor Wood?

  Out: iCloud links.

• 1:02:57Brooke Averick?

  Yes. Yes.

• 1:03:01Connor Wood?

  Good riddance.

• 1:03:02Brooke Averick?

  Or make them work.

• 1:03:03Connor Wood?

  Make them work, I want to open it!

• 1:03:05Brooke Averick?

  Or make them work, how about that?

• 1:03:06Connor Wood?

  I'm only sending eleven pictures.

• 1:03:08Brooke Averick?

  How about make them work?

• 1:03:09Connor Wood?

  Make it work! I want it to work!

• 1:03:11Brooke Averick?

  Yep. In: playing the Wicked soundtrack at bars.

• 1:03:15Connor Wood?

  Out: stairs. I don't know, I don't have a solution for that. Let's figure it out.

• 1:03:21Brooke Averick?

  In: hot coffee.

• 1:03:27Connor Wood?

  Out: I don't know what I meant by this. Restaurants that are confusing. Okay, I'm just gonna skip that. Out: blaming things on ADHD. Get a prescription.

• 1:03:39Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 1:03:42Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 1:03:43Connor Wood?

  I've never been like, I'm crippled by ADHD. I'm just like, yeah, like I forgot and I lost my wallet in my apartment. That's 10 square feet. Sue me. I know.

• 1:03:53Brooke Averick?

  In?

• 1:03:55Brooke Averick?

  Cups of soup for any meal and also snacks.

• 1:03:58Connor Wood?

  Line. Out, Dua Lipa ruining my holidays by getting engaged.

• 1:04:03Brooke Averick?

  In, clogs. You're gonna hate that one.

• 1:04:07Connor Wood?

  I love clogs.

• 1:04:08Brooke Averick?

  Really?

• 1:04:08Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I'm an outspoken clogger.

• 1:04:10Brooke Averick?

  I'm about to get a pair of like black clogs, like platform mules almost, I think.

• 1:04:14Connor Wood?

  Ooh, platform mules.

• 1:04:15Brooke Averick?

  You like that?

• 1:04:15Connor Wood?

  I never pegged you as a platform mule.

• 1:04:17Brooke Averick?

  I might guess in platform.

• 1:04:18Connor Wood?

  Out, the hand sanitizer that smells like 2020. It makes me gag.

• 1:04:22Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:24Brooke Averick?

  In, a greater understanding that reading is subjective.

• 1:04:29Connor Wood?

  In, saying, did you guys feel that randomly?

• 1:04:34Brooke Averick?

  That's funny.

• 1:04:36Brooke Averick?

  In, stuffed animals.

• 1:04:38Connor Wood?

  In, finding clues.

• 1:04:41Brooke Averick?

  In, saying ay after every sentence you don't know how to respond to.

• 1:04:46Connor Wood?

  In, Thursdays.

• 1:04:49Brooke Averick?

  In, changing the typical inflection of words. Like hot tub and stuff like that.

• 1:04:54Connor Wood?

  Yeah, and Red Bull.

• 1:04:55Brooke Averick?

  Red Bull, yeah.

• 1:04:56Connor Wood?

  Four wheeler.

• 1:04:56Brooke Averick?

  Four loco.

• 1:04:58Connor Wood?

  In, transition lenses.

• 1:05:01Brooke Averick?

  Really?

• 1:05:01Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I don't want to, I don't need two beers with glasses.

• 1:05:04Brooke Averick?

  Out, designer bags with keychains.

• 1:05:08Connor Wood?

  On the other hand, in, pocket knives.

• 1:05:11Brooke Averick?

  Out, patchwork tattoos. Sorry, I also have them, so sorry.

• 1:05:17Connor Wood?

  In, hide and seek.

• 1:05:20Brooke Averick?

  That was all I had for the ins and outs.

• 1:05:22Connor Wood?

  I have a couple more ins and I'll just say them in row. Um, in, table topping people for fun, like casual, like in the grass, don't do it on concrete. In, dog names for babies like Rover.

• 1:05:34Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 1:05:35Connor Wood?

  And Duke. Um, in, saying, no, you're right. Instead of disagreeing, just like.

• 1:05:43Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:46Connor Wood?

  No, you're right.

• 1:05:49Connor Wood?

  And making a new laugh, like just pick a new laugh. It's so fun. And in double texting.

• 1:05:56Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, agree.

• 1:05:58Connor Wood?

  Leave your pride at the door. Double text.

• 1:06:00Brooke Averick?

  I was really aligned with all of yours.

• 1:06:02Connor Wood?

  Me, I was feeling the same way about yours. Cause musicals in bars, I was really against, I don't know what happened to me, something shifted. And then I was like, if I know it.

• 1:06:10Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:11Connor Wood?

  Also, like I would love to, I would love to know the song, but one of the most fun nights at a bar I've ever had in my life. Seriously, was when I was in Aspen and Matt King and TK and Alicia and that whole group were also in Aspen. And we went to this bar and we took over the jukebox and we played all songs that we knew every song, every word to. And we screaming in a table, I just can't look. It's killing me. And it was so, so much fun.

• 1:06:38Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:38Connor Wood?

  So, yeah, I think that and it, it makes some come right on me, I mean camaraderie. Inside.

• 1:06:44Brooke Averick?

  Hey.

• 1:06:46Connor Wood?

  Hey.

• 1:06:47Brooke Averick?

  Alright, well, that's about it for the main. And much more to discuss in the bonus, yes?

• 1:06:53Connor Wood?

  Yeah, well, we have one more thing.

• 1:06:56Brooke Averick?

  Take it away.

• 1:06:57Connor Wood?

  And, uh, earlier in the year, I don't even remember what month I went out to NYC, baby. And I, I was, Sabrina Brier, who is a friend of ours, she made an audiobook. And she wrote it and I, she asked me to be one of the characters in the book. One of the main characters, one of the, one of the male leads, so I might say. Voice, I voiced this man and, um, it's available to read now. It's called That Friend by Sabrina Brier, it's an audiobook. And we have a snippet here that I don't really know if I'm gonna be able to hear. It's my first time hearing it.

• 1:07:36Brooke Averick?

  I'm so excited.

• 1:07:37Connor Wood?

  Okay, I'm gonna close my, I'm gonna clog my ears. But here it is. Now, I guess I'll just man, I'll just nut up and listen to it, honestly.

• 1:07:46Brooke Averick?

  Nut up.

• 1:07:47Speaker 02

  I have everything under control. Besides, this is why I have my producer.

• 1:07:52Speaker 07

  You know, you can call him Jack, right? We all went to high school together.

• 1:07:56Speaker 02

  Alice, I'm an entrepreneur now. Okay, formalities matter.

• 1:08:03Brooke Averick?

  Speak of the freaking devil.

• 1:08:06Brooke Averick?

  Hello, Jack. Welcome to the studio. Make yourself at home.

• 1:08:10Connor Wood?

  Oh, handshake. Okay, word. Sup, Sabrina? Those stairs are... Pretty wild, huh?

• 1:08:18Brooke Averick?

  You get used to them.

• 1:08:19Speaker 07

  You really don't. Hey, Jack, I'm just gonna give you a hug like a normal person.

• 1:08:23Connor Wood?

  What up, Alice? How you been?

• 1:08:25Speaker 07

  Good. You look... Older.

• 1:08:29Connor Wood?

  For sure. I'm definitely older since high school.

• 1:08:32Brooke Averick?

  How did you guys get...

• 1:08:35Brooke Averick?

  That sounds so good!

• 1:08:36Connor Wood?

  I feel like I'm blushing, but I think I just turned more white.

• 1:08:39Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 1:08:41Connor Wood?

  So it's really good. It's a great storyline. It's like, you know, she does that, all the characters, that friend who...

• 1:08:46Brooke Averick?

  Yes, I'm excited to look into it.

• 1:08:48Connor Wood?

  She like wrote this whole book.

• 1:08:50Brooke Averick?

  Is it on Audible?

• 1:08:51Connor Wood?

  I think it should be. We'll confirm. Look it up. "That Friend" by Sabrina Brier.

• 1:08:55Brooke Averick?

  I love it, you guys!

• 1:08:56Connor Wood?

  I'm sure it's in her bio, too. To click it. So, check it out.

• 1:09:03Connor Wood?

  And thank you guys for listening. We have exciting guests coming on... That everyone will love and adore in the next couple of weeks. So, we'll see you... Then.

• 1:09:14Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I agree.

• 1:09:15Connor Wood?

  Could you get a piercing, like, through your Achilles tendon or no?

• 1:09:18Brooke Averick?

  Let's go to the bonus.

• 1:09:19Connor Wood?

  Okay. Bye, guys. Like, that'd be a good place for a piercing.

• 1:09:22Brooke Averick?

  I don't agree. This week on Close Friends.

• 1:09:26Connor Wood?

  We brought in this guy with a ton of reptiles to convince you not to do drugs. And I was like, he's full-blown. I promise you're gonna smoke crack tonight. Life is what happens when you have your eyes closed.

• 1:09:35Brooke Averick?

  My lips like sugar.

• 1:09:37Connor Wood?

  My candies got you sprung. Officer Cock. Officer Cock and Balls here. Something very strange is afoot with these cashews. They don't taste like any cashew I've ever met. Sign up on TMGstudios.tv to watch a full bonus episode.

• 1:09:58Speaker 00

  Your sausage McMuffin with egg didn't change. Your receipt did. The sausage McMuffin with egg extra value meal includes a hash brown and a small coffee for just $5. Only at McDonald's for a limited time.

• 1:10:10Speaker 01

  Price and participation may vary. Promotion pricing may be lower than meal pricing.

• 1:10:13Speaker 05

  They're running a cover two defense. But you're running to get game day deals on Uber Eats. Keep everyone at tonight's watch party fed with deals from your go to restaurants. Or stock up with deals on your favorite snacks and groceries. Whatever the occasion, get game day deals on Uber Eats all season long. It's not football without food. Uber Eats. Order now. Terms apply. Product availability varies by region. See app for details.

• 1:10:44Speaker 05

  This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Football has a play for just about everything. You can go deep, keep it on the ground, or draw up something nobody sees coming. And whether you want to run a flea flicker or the tush push, you need a plan to fit your unique situation. That's why State Farm takes the time to get to know you so they can help personalize coverage for your life and budget. Now that's a solid game plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.