Gift Card Ballers! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2026 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: BlueChew: https://bluechew.com Promo Code: Garbage Draft Kings: Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app NOW and use code AYG Gambling Problem? Call one eight hundred GAMBLER. New York: call eight seven seven eight HOPENY or text HOPENY. Connecticut: call eight eight eight seven eight nine seven seven seven seven or visit CCPG dot org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Wager tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. Twenty one plus in most states. Void in Ontario. Restrictions apply. NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. 3 sweepstakes with separate opt-ins. Min. odds -500. Prizes either Bonus Bets that expire in 7 days or single-use profit boost. See Official Rules at d k n g dot co slash live millions for entry period and free method of entry. Sponsored by Crown Gaming Inc. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00H. Foley?

  Hear ye, hear ye, all our friends to the north up there in Canada. The boys are crossing the border and we're coming over, baby.

• 0:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, January 9th, we're gonna be at the Queen Elizabeth Theater in Toronto, Ontario. Limited tickets left, get them while they last. Then we got Austin, Tampa, Chicago, Indiana, Nashville, Pittsburgh, and Cleveland. All tickets available at areyougarbage.com. We'll see yous on the road.

• 0:19H. Foley?

  See ya, hosers.

• 0:20Speaker 02

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

• 0:40H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

• 0:45Speaker 01

  Hey, ye!

• 0:46H. Foley?

  It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they're gonna be classy.

• 0:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:51H. Foley?

  Or they're just a big ol' piece of trash.

• 0:53Speaker 01

  Trash, trash, trash!

• 0:54H. Foley?

  I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a glorious day. We're out back here at Toody's, in the new addition. She's hitting it really hard this year.

• 1:00Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:01H. Foley?

  Down there at the Cheetah Club.

• 1:02Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:03H. Foley?

  It's a new ladies' fitness club. It's not nefarious. It's not a strip club.

• 1:08Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:08H. Foley?

  Uh, it's a strip club.

• 1:09Speaker 01

  All right, yeah, I picked up on that.

• 1:10H. Foley?

  She's dancing.

• 1:11Speaker 01

  Pole dancing.

• 1:12H. Foley?

  Pole dancing.

• 1:12Speaker 01

  That's a good for your core strength.

• 1:14H. Foley?

  It's good for your core strength.

• 1:15Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 1:15H. Foley?

  She wants to put one in here.

• 1:17Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:17H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:18Speaker 01

  Oh, hey, shake what? You're shaking your tail feather.

• 1:20H. Foley?

  I don't wanna come in and catch you spinning around on that thing. Upside down with a dollar bill in your mouth.

• 1:24Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 1:25H. Foley?

  One in your butt cheeks. Playing pickup sticks.

• 1:28Speaker 01

  Sounds like you do wanna see it.

• 1:29H. Foley?

  My co-host is coming at you from across the table. This is what we call a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies for 2026. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

• 1:40Speaker 01

  What up, gang? Shout out to ya. Uh, as always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also, full video available over there on Spotify, and the boys are in the middle of the road.

• 1:51H. Foley?

  Yes, we are.

• 1:52Speaker 01

  That's what we like doing. We're not show-offs.

• 1:53H. Foley?

  No.

• 1:53Speaker 01

  We're not these guys that come and, and, and, and rock, climb the charts.

• 1:57H. Foley?

  Uh-huh.

• 1:58Speaker 01

  We, we, we're, we pick at, we pick away at it. Pick away at it.

• 2:01H. Foley?

  We're selling albums, we're doing shows.

• 2:03Speaker 01

  We're doing all right.

• 2:04H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 2:04Speaker 01

  Are we the biggest guys in the world?

• 2:06H. Foley?

  No.

• 2:07Speaker 01

  No. Are we the smallest? No, we are not.

• 2:09H. Foley?

  No.

• 2:09Speaker 01

  Are we having a good time?

• 2:11H. Foley?

  We're a good time.

• 2:12Speaker 01

  Do we love the homies and the bozos?

• 2:13H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 2:13Speaker 01

  We do. That's why you go over there. If you want more content, if you want more of this great content that we put out,

• 2:18H. Foley?

  Patreon.com.

• 2:19Speaker 01

  www.patreon.com slash the garbage. You go over there, you get up to three bajillion hours. That's what I just got in. The reports came in three bajillion hours with the bonus content. That's for comedic purposes and we're not legally bound to provide.

• 2:32H. Foley?

  Sure. Absolutely.

• 2:34Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 2:35H. Foley?

  We're a Vantour band. We're doing our thing.

• 2:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, we do our thing.

• 2:38H. Foley?

  We got a couple of hits. Nothing that popped up in the billboard yet.

• 2:42Speaker 01

  No.

• 2:42H. Foley?

  And I gotta come, working on a couple right now.

• 2:44Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. We're gonna be those guys when they look, when you look back in 20 years, like remember that when they were great? They had some good stu- I loved them. We were not gonna be, we're not gonna begin introducing to Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

• 2:56H. Foley?

  Maybe.

• 2:57Speaker 01

  We're not gonna have the top floor like Bon Jovi had, which by the way, if you've been there in Cleveland, will be in Cleveland, get your tickets.

• 3:03H. Foley?

  Shout out to it.

• 3:04Speaker 01

  But that top floor, me and Diesel were in there, fucking, I'm not a Bon Jovi fan. That turned us into a Bon Jovi fan. That guy seen a million faces and he rocked them all.

• 3:12H. Foley?

  He sold, who said that? He said that? That's a good quote.

• 3:15Speaker 01

  That's, that's, that's on his song.

• 3:18H. Foley?

  We're Eddie Money. Eddie Money sold 28 million records, but you wouldn't know it. He was just a hardworking kid from Brooklyn.

• 3:23Speaker 01

  He did not sell 28 million records. Let's, let's clear that out.

• 3:27H. Foley?

  Just think, if he even got a dollar, that's 28 million cash. That's not talking about the tour.

• 3:32Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 3:33H. Foley?

  Shout out to Eddie Money. I spent easy money.

• 3:36Speaker 01

  Shout out to.

• 3:37H. Foley?

  It's a good film.

• 3:38Speaker 01

  Maybe that's why we're not at the top of the charts, we're giving Eddie Money shout outs.

• 3:40H. Foley?

  We are contractually obligated on family episodes to stop by and talk to the owner's son who works here.

• 3:48Speaker 01

  No, I've pushed back. He's, they're no longer the owner. I've looked at those, that paperwork was all bunk.

• 3:53H. Foley?

  I was drunk when I signed it.

• 3:54Speaker 01

  In the back of a McDonald's receipt.

• 3:56H. Foley?

  You know, they say that's why, um, Cole, whatever his name was.

• 4:01Speaker 01

  Hamels.

• 4:01H. Foley?

  No. Uh, in True Detective, that's why he drank. Cause no matter anything he said would have been admissible in court. The word I'm learning recently. Admissible. Luke Dempsey.

• 4:15Speaker 03

  Happy to be back in Q1.

• 4:17H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 4:17Speaker 03

  Excited. We took tooties off the books.

• 4:19H. Foley?

  Yes, we did.

• 4:20Speaker 03

  Q1's looking great now.

• 4:21H. Foley?

  Oh, you took tooties off the book?

• 4:22Speaker 01

  I'm like Portnoy, I bought it back for a dollar.

• 4:24Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 4:25Speaker 01

  Ha ha. Take that, Dempsey group. The kid's back, back on top, middle of the curve. Eddie Money, the Eddie Money of podcasting.

• 4:32H. Foley?

  Means we can be ourselves again.

• 4:34Speaker 01

  You with a collared shirt, really attacking Q1.

• 4:38H. Foley?

  Thank you.

• 4:38Speaker 01

  You are a businessman.

• 4:40H. Foley?

  Well, I gotta set myself up.

• 4:41Speaker 01

  Now, you're gonna ask me for something. I know that. I see this coming down. Like, pew, pew.

• 4:46H. Foley?

  I'll have lunch after this. Wouldn't kill me.

• 4:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:48H. Foley?

  I'll tell you what I wanted to ask before we get into the Qs. Shout out to all the bozos and homies out there. Um, Q1, freshen it up.

• 4:54Speaker 01

  Something's going on, because Q1, you were sitting at the table eight minutes before we started.

• 4:59H. Foley?

  Hey, man, just a new me.

• 5:01Speaker 01

  A bit of a toot on him.

• 5:03H. Foley?

  That's not true. I think I've been very delightful around the office.

• 5:06Speaker 01

  I made a joke and you went... Maybe it wasn't that funny of a joke. I get it.

• 5:11H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah.

• 5:12Speaker 01

  I was getting some of the fluff out.

• 5:14H. Foley?

  Called your secretary a bitch.

• 5:15Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 5:16H. Foley?

  No, I wouldn't say that.

• 5:17Speaker 01

  You just did.

• 5:18H. Foley?

  No, I wouldn't say that to anybody.

• 5:20Speaker 01

  I don't have a secretary.

• 5:21H. Foley?

  Yeah, you do. Who's the hot kid out there?

• 5:24Speaker 01

  He's Shark.

• 5:25H. Foley?

  Mark the Shark. Listen, I'm gonna get pushed back on this.

• 5:30Speaker 01

  Not for me.

• 5:31H. Foley?

  It's 2026.

• 5:34H. Foley?

  We need to class it up.

• 5:35Speaker 01

  Sure about that?

• 5:36H. Foley?

  We need to class it up a little bit. And I don't mean in here. We're gonna always be trashy. I have been doing something lately in a non-annoying, non-patronizing way that I think it'd be cool if we kind of brought this back.

• 5:54H. Foley?

  I don't want to say it.

• 5:55Speaker 01

  It's about me?

• 5:56H. Foley?

  No.

• 5:59H. Foley?

  Uh, oh, okay.

• 6:00Speaker 01

  What's it have to do with?

• 6:01H. Foley?

  Over the last few weeks, especially if somebody's like, um, you know, uh... I've been calling everybody sir lately, even more than I did. A lot of times it was somebody older, or somebody in the military, or a cop, or whatever. Thank you, sir. But I've been kind of doing it for everybody, especially, like, I remember when I was Christmas shopping. There was a guy that was taking out the trash, and we met. I contacted him, "How you doing, sir?" He said, "How you doing? Good to see you." Makes people feel good. Sir, we should, we should get back into that.

• 6:32Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 6:32H. Foley?

  As gentlemen. Now, you're a madman guy.

• 6:36Speaker 03

  I'm into it, but I feel like it's also calling a woman ma'am sometimes.

• 6:39Speaker 01

  I do agree with that.

• 6:41H. Foley?

  What is that bullshit? It's not, it's not about age, man. It's about respect. It's about acknowledging each other.

• 6:46Speaker 01

  I'm not-

• 6:47H. Foley?

  That we're all professional people. We're all out there doing our goddamn best with what we got. You fucking pieces of shit.

• 6:54Speaker 01

  Jesus Christ. Q1, wound tight.

• 6:57H. Foley?

  No.

• 6:57Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 6:58H. Foley?

  You-

• 6:59Speaker 01

  Just went off on a dialogue and started screaming. Um, I-

• 7:04H. Foley?

  I know you don't like it.

• 7:04Speaker 01

  I'm not-

• 7:07H. Foley?

  Also, any black guys out there, I call everybody brother, just so you know. I just want that stated. Because sometimes that gets in my head.

• 7:13Speaker 01

  I do the same thing.

• 7:14H. Foley?

  I call everybody brother.

• 7:15Speaker 01

  I do the same thing.

• 7:16H. Foley?

  I love it.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  I, I gotta push back though. You can't jump between brother and sir. So, we, there's something, you, you, something's rotten in the state of Hank over here.

• 7:26H. Foley?

  No. I just think-

• 7:28Speaker 01

  You can't say I call everybody brother and I also call people sir. So, you're choosing.

• 7:32H. Foley?

  No, I'm not.

• 7:33Speaker 01

  And who gets it.

• 7:33H. Foley?

  I'll tell you, okay, ready?

• 7:36Speaker 01

  Hispanic guys.

• 7:36H. Foley?

  We just walked into a place.

• 7:37Speaker 01

  Brother.

• 7:38H. Foley?

  We just walked into a, I just walked into a place.

• 7:40Speaker 01

  What kind of place? Am I there?

• 7:42H. Foley?

  You worked there.

• 7:43Speaker 01

  I worked there?

• 7:43H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 7:46H. Foley?

  You worked there.

• 7:46Speaker 01

  Things are going to, Q1 is bad.

• 7:48H. Foley?

  I'm a, um, I don't know.

• 7:50Speaker 01

  A famous entertainer.

• 7:52H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 7:54H. Foley?

  Let's go with that.

• 7:56Speaker 01

  Alright, let me see if I can get there. Okay, alright.

• 7:59H. Foley?

  Diesel, my scarf.

• 8:00Speaker 01

  And what am I, some sort of, uh, some sort of maître d?

• 8:04H. Foley?

  No. Not yet.

• 8:07Speaker 01

  More of a back waiter.

• 8:09H. Foley?

  No, I'm in a retail store.

• 8:11Speaker 01

  And I'm working, okay, I'm not even a maître d of a nice joint. I'm working retail.

• 8:14H. Foley?

  You work in retail.

• 8:15Speaker 01

  I'm back in Macy's.

• 8:16H. Foley?

  What store are you in retail?

• 8:16Speaker 01

  I'm nothing, but I, that, I'd rather be, I'd rather be quarterbacking a fucking-

• 8:21H. Foley?

  What, the Jets or something?

• 8:22Speaker 01

  No, a nice fucking restaurant.

• 8:23H. Foley?

  You don't have an arm.

• 8:24Speaker 01

  A nice restaurant.

• 8:27H. Foley?

  Have I ever seen you throw in a football? Can you throw a football?

• 8:30Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 8:30H. Foley?

  Can you shoot a basket?

• 8:32Speaker 01

  Yeah. I would beat you in basketball 100 times out of 100.

• 8:35H. Foley?

  Whoa, take it easy, glory days.

• 8:38Speaker 01

  No, that's not glory. You, no, you just asked me like a high school bully. Can you even shoot a basketball?

• 8:42H. Foley?

  No, no, no, I was hoping that you and I could get on it-

• 8:44Speaker 01

  As a guy with active poop in his pants.

• 8:45H. Foley?

  No, hold on a second. First of all, I told you not to say nothing about that.

• 8:49Speaker 01

  You need-

• 8:50H. Foley?

  I'm still in my no underwear phase.

• 8:52Speaker 01

  Can I, can I bring up, so this is a little more, a little more hard feelings, but we're done hard feelings for the week?

• 8:56H. Foley?

  Hold on a second.

• 8:57Speaker 01

  What?

• 8:58H. Foley?

  I need you to...

• 8:59Speaker 01

  Okay, look, can I work at a restaurant? Can I be, can I be, can I be the guy, call, shot caller at a restaurant?

• 9:06H. Foley?

  A hostess?

• 9:07Speaker 01

  No, shot caller, obviously. One of the galaxies.

• 9:09H. Foley?

  I don't go to restaurants that have maître d's.

• 9:13H. Foley?

  I go to restaurants that have college broads working there during the break.

• 9:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, we all been to Twin Peaks, alright, tough guy?

• 9:18H. Foley?

  What's Twin Peaks?

• 9:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, okay.

• 9:20H. Foley?

  What's that? The famous TV show from the 80's with, um...

• 9:24Speaker 01

  The Lollipop Club.

• 9:26H. Foley?

  I like The Lollipop Club.

• 9:27Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 9:28H. Foley?

  Listen.

• 9:28Speaker 01

  I'm trying.

• 9:29H. Foley?

  I come in.

• 9:30Speaker 01

  One on one, me versus you.

• 9:32H. Foley?

  I come in.

• 9:33Speaker 01

  First, make it, take it.

• 9:35H. Foley?

  Hi, how can I help?

• 9:35Speaker 01

  Eleven, eleven, nothing's a shutout.

• 9:37H. Foley?

  Ready?

• 9:38Speaker 01

  Twenty-one, win by two.

• 9:39H. Foley?

  Say hi, how can I help you?

• 9:41Speaker 01

  Oh my god, you're that guy from that podcast I love, with Kippy. What's your name again?

• 9:48H. Foley?

  I'm Andy Garbage.

• 9:50Speaker 01

  I forgot about Andy Garbage.

• 9:51H. Foley?

  Can you play along? Can you take direction?

• 9:54Speaker 01

  Can you?

• 9:55H. Foley?

  Yes!

• 9:55Speaker 01

  It's a comedy podcast, you're trying to do fucking serious scenes. Can you take directions? By riffing in the moment?

• 10:02H. Foley?

  Go ahead.

• 10:03Speaker 01

  What?

• 10:04H. Foley?

  Hey, how you doing?

• 10:04Speaker 01

  Hey, what's up, sir?

• 10:05H. Foley?

  Hey, how are you?

• 10:06Speaker 01

  How long you been working?

• 10:07H. Foley?

  No, no, no! You can't say sir first.

• 10:09Speaker 01

  You stink.

• 10:10H. Foley?

  Fuck! You can't say sir first.

• 10:12Speaker 01

  How do you get a job like this?

• 10:13H. Foley?

  How do I get a job like this? I have to work very hard.

• 10:17Speaker 01

  You're the maître d. You're the maître d of the New York Jets. That's how you comedy podcast.

• 10:23H. Foley?

  You direct the defensive tackles.

• 10:25Speaker 01

  Swing and miss. Luke Isom.

• 10:28H. Foley?

  No, no, without a script. Hey, give me a, hey, how you doing?

• 10:31Speaker 01

  Hey, how you doing?

• 10:31H. Foley?

  How are you doing, sir? Uh, we have a reservation for two.

• 10:34Speaker 01

  Nervous guy, huh? You don't belong here. Bounce him.

• 10:37H. Foley?

  Come on!

• 10:39Speaker 01

  Guy like you, you don't, clearly you don't have a reservation. He probably don't have any cash on you either.

• 10:44H. Foley?

  Let's do it again.

• 10:44Speaker 01

  Nice joint like this.

• 10:45H. Foley?

  Let's do it again, do it again. But you can't say sir. You have to say, hey, how can I help you?

• 10:53Speaker 01

  Hey, how can I help you?

• 10:54H. Foley?

  Hey, how are you, sir? Good to see you.

• 10:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, the bathrooms are for customers only.

• 10:59H. Foley?

  Well, fuck you then.

• 11:01Speaker 01

  I was here last week, jerk off.

• 11:03H. Foley?

  Alright, give me a soda or something.

• 11:06Speaker 01

  How much is a water?

• 11:08H. Foley?

  Not that bottled shit. Anyway, since you can't do a scene...

• 11:14Speaker 01

  I'm killing, what are you talking about?

• 11:16H. Foley?

  Yeah, but you're killing in the wrong way. You're making your scene partner look stupid.

• 11:19Speaker 01

  No.

• 11:19H. Foley?

  You're supposed to set me up.

• 11:21Speaker 01

  My scene partner is stupid.

• 11:24H. Foley?

  You're the setup guy, I'm the spike man.

• 11:27Speaker 01

  I'm killing.

• 11:29H. Foley?

  Yeah, cuz you're spiking it. You're not supposed to.

• 11:31Speaker 01

  Goddamn.

• 11:32H. Foley?

  You're throwing it up to yourself and spiking it. You gotta pass it to me? You ever do improv? It's not about showing off.

• 11:36Speaker 01

  I'm a goddamn entertainer, huh? This is what gets people in a scene. This is why we cash checks, baby. Laughs. You're trying to lower the lights and deuce Hamlin or something like that.

• 11:46H. Foley?

  No, I'm not. I'm trying to prove a goddamn point, you piece of shit, that we're supposed to be nice to each other.

• 11:50Speaker 01

  Sorry, I can't turn off. I am being nice to you.

• 11:52H. Foley?

  You're not. You're making fun of me, telling me I can't use the bathroom, which is fucked up to do to a fellow human if I have to use the bathroom.

• 12:02H. Foley?

  You know, I didn't tell you this.

• 12:03Speaker 01

  I shit myself.

• 12:05H. Foley?

  I was at a store a couple of days ago, getting some stuff, you know?

• 12:10Speaker 01

  Okay, wow. Really on the edge of my seat over here.

• 12:13H. Foley?

  I go over to the one counter where they're kinda like doing inventory shit, whatever. And I go, "Hey, man, you mind if I set this down here for a minute?" And the guy behind the counter goes, "Yeah, of course, go ahead." Then this manager walks over and goes, "Bring that over to the other register." I heard this fucking lady say this. "Bring it over to the other register." "Because you know us. We'll start ringing it up, and then he'll walk out and go over to the Salvation Army." That's what she said about me.

• 12:45Speaker 01

  Huh. Wait, what's that mean?

• 12:47H. Foley?

  That I'm a fucking bozo.

• 12:48Speaker 01

  That you don't have the cash for it?

• 12:49H. Foley?

  Something. You believe that shit?

• 12:52Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 12:53H. Foley?

  I have a shirt on. But still.

• 12:56Speaker 01

  Drinking soup from the can.

• 12:59Speaker 01

  Split pee, found the chunk of bacon at the bottom. Ooh. All smokey. Um.

• 13:05H. Foley?

  Isn't that fucked up?

• 13:07Speaker 01

  She was insinuating that you're broke.

• 13:09H. Foley?

  I don't know what she was insinuating.

• 13:11Speaker 01

  I like this broad though.

• 13:12H. Foley?

  It was a nice joint.

• 13:13Speaker 01

  Did you call her sir? Maybe you called her sir, she got a little upset.

• 13:15H. Foley?

  Hey, thanks, Thutz. Do it again.

• 13:19Speaker 01

  Hey, how are ya?

• 13:20H. Foley?

  Hey, don't.

• 13:20Speaker 01

  Welcome to Ga-

• 13:22H. Foley?

  You gotta be the star, don't ya? This is what it's all about.

• 13:25Speaker 01

  So you gotta build a scene?

• 13:26H. Foley?

  You're not a team player.

• 13:27Speaker 01

  You gotta build a scene.

• 13:28H. Foley?

  Just do it so I can get to the goddamn point.

• 13:30Speaker 01

  Hey, sir, welcome to Gallagher's.

• 13:32H. Foley?

  You can't say sir, and you don't work at Gallagher's.

• 13:35Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 13:35H. Foley?

  That's the son that does the front there. You would, you'd maybe be one of the lackeys standing behind him.

• 13:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, right.

• 13:42H. Foley?

  Talking about the tall guy, the good-looking guy?

• 13:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm the tall, good-looking guy, obviously.

• 13:45H. Foley?

  No, you're not.

• 13:46Speaker 01

  Have you seen the program?

• 13:48H. Foley?

  No.

• 13:48Speaker 01

  I'm the tall, good-looking guy.

• 13:49H. Foley?

  You wouldn't be working at Galli's like that. You'd be running food or something.

• 13:54Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 13:55H. Foley?

  With that attitude.

• 13:56Speaker 01

  Hello, hello, welcome to Gallagher's, happy holidays.

• 13:59H. Foley?

  How are ya, sir? Good to see ya. Uh, table for two, I have a reservation under Foley, my assistant made it.

• 14:04Speaker 01

  Let me see.

• 14:07H. Foley?

  Okay, whatever, fast forward.

• 14:08Speaker 01

  Uh, hold on, I might try coming up here.

• 14:10H. Foley?

  It's not the point, I have dinner.

• 14:12Speaker 01

  Sir, please stop-

• 14:13H. Foley?

  I have a nice fucking dinner.

• 14:14Speaker 01

  Sir, please stop yelling, I'm looking, I'm looking for, you said it was Foley, can you spell that?

• 14:20H. Foley?

  F-O-L-E-Y.

• 14:21Speaker 01

  F-O-L-E-Y, and your first name is?

• 14:25H. Foley?

  H.

• 14:27Speaker 01

  Say that again.

• 14:29H. Foley?

  I said H.

• 14:30Speaker 01

  You're-

• 14:31H. Foley?

  I'm a famous entertainer.

• 14:32Speaker 01

  You're, oh, would you be, have I seen you in anything?

• 14:35H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 14:35Speaker 01

  Like what?

• 14:36H. Foley?

  Manifest, Jim Gaffigan Show, Gotham.

• 14:38Speaker 01

  Anything from this century, sir.

• 14:41H. Foley?

  That was in this century.

• 14:44Speaker 01

  Decade.

• 14:45H. Foley?

  No.

• 14:49H. Foley?

  But I'm still like, I have a meal.

• 14:50Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 14:51H. Foley?

  Geez, forget about it, this is not what we're doing.

• 14:53Speaker 01

  Sir, you're causing a scene, you're, can you step aside?

• 14:55H. Foley?

  I'm gonna take my business elsewhere.

• 14:57Speaker 01

  Sir, we don't have, we don't have any business, apparently. Okay.

• 15:00H. Foley?

  You do have a gift card.

• 15:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:03H. Foley?

  Patty, wanna take me out to dinner with a gift card?

• 15:05Speaker 01

  That's fine.

• 15:06H. Foley?

  No, it's not.

• 15:07Speaker 01

  Listen, you don't have it, you can't be standing on airs. She wants to take you out with-

• 15:13Speaker 01

  What the fuck? Hey, guy, it's not halftime.

• 15:20Speaker 01

  Fucking takes a nine second sip. Fucking broadcasting here.

• 15:24H. Foley?

  I was thinking a choice.

• 15:27H. Foley?

  Acting choice.

• 15:28Speaker 01

  Um.

• 15:28H. Foley?

  My point is, is on the way out, I would say, "Thank you, brother." So that's the dichotomy.

• 15:33Speaker 01

  Gotcha.

• 15:33H. Foley?

  Of how I bounce, sir and brother.

• 15:34Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 15:35H. Foley?

  Jesus. Like the Nuremberg trials in here.

• 15:38Speaker 01

  The Jimmy Neutron trials.

• 15:40H. Foley?

  Did they put him on trial?

• 15:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:42H. Foley?

  They should've.

• 15:42Speaker 01

  Arson.

• 15:43H. Foley?

  He fucked up a lot of spots. He had uncontrolled nuclear weapons in his goddamn basement. Parents didn't know what the hell was going on.

• 15:50Speaker 01

  I never watched the program.

• 15:51H. Foley?

  I thought that was your shit.

• 15:52Speaker 01

  Nah. That was a big insult. Shut up, Jimmy Neutron head. You know, somebody with a good head of hair.

• 15:57H. Foley?

  Yeah, Jimmy Neutron.

• 15:58Speaker 01

  Hit him with Jimmy Neutron head. Little body, big head, big quaff. That's what we would do.

• 16:03H. Foley?

  He could've done that as a live action show. And as I've always said, if you're older, older-

• 16:08Speaker 01

  I'd be great at it.

• 16:11H. Foley?

  About Jimmy Neutron. For the older, older folks out there, Johnny Quest would've been a great live action show.

• 16:18Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 16:18H. Foley?

  Which I've said many times on this program.

• 16:20Speaker 01

  Yes. Um.

• 16:21H. Foley?

  Anyway. You don't like sir?

• 16:23Speaker 01

  Uh, I don't, I just think, I think sir, can I, can I explain my point of view?

• 16:29H. Foley?

  I didn't say anything, I was interrupting you.

• 16:30Speaker 01

  You were about to.

• 16:31H. Foley?

  No, I was not.

• 16:31Speaker 01

  You had already kicked it over to Luke.

• 16:33H. Foley?

  I was gonna, see if I can get him on my side real quick.

• 16:35Speaker 01

  Uh.

• 16:36H. Foley?

  Wouldn't it be cool if Luke's generation started calling each other, "Sir, I'm sorry, don't get to see you, good see you, sir."

• 16:40Speaker 01

  To each other?

• 16:40H. Foley?

  Class it up a little bit, yes.

• 16:41Speaker 01

  Uh.

• 16:42H. Foley?

  It's not about age, it's about respect.

• 16:43Speaker 01

  I understand, but I think inherently built into that, it's about age, and you want to take it out, which is fine, but to everyone else, I think age is built into that, as is ma'am, whether or not-

• 16:55H. Foley?

  I don't use ma'am, I use honey a lot.

• 16:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's worse.

• 16:58H. Foley?

  No. Thank you, honey.

• 17:00Speaker 01

  Dude, that's, that's fucking, you know-

• 17:02H. Foley?

  Was that bad?

• 17:03Speaker 01

  Four fifths of, you know, three fingers of bourbon in a fucking, you're, you're a fucking-

• 17:09Speaker 01

  You're a couple seconds away from asking her to fucking take it, turn around, let me get a good look at you, with honey. Honey's wild.

• 17:15H. Foley?

  I had my uncle do that one time, one of my girlfriends.

• 17:18Speaker 01

  Really?

• 17:18H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 17:19Speaker 01

  Oh, you turn around, you get a good look at me.

• 17:20H. Foley?

  It was the 90's.

• 17:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was different, different time.

• 17:25Speaker 01

  I remember my-

• 17:25H. Foley?

  Was that a funeral, which was weird? He just wanted to see her dress, "Hey, you look beautiful, give me a turn."

• 17:30Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 17:30H. Foley?

  Give me a turn.

• 17:31Speaker 01

  Why you back it up and dump it for me, sweetheart? Huh? I'm grieving here.

• 17:36H. Foley?

  He made me do this, he made me do the same thing, so.

• 17:39Speaker 01

  Uh, I got a grief boner going. Sad boner.

• 17:44H. Foley?

  Kevin, let's talk about BlueChew.

• 17:46Speaker 01

  Knock, knock, boner town. How you doing?

• 17:48H. Foley?

  Holidays are over, but the candy canes are still sitting around.

• 17:51Speaker 01

  Yours is hooked. Yikes.

• 17:54H. Foley?

  Mine's a fruity flavor. When it's leaning to the right, gang, do yourself a favor. Get a little BlueChew, straighten yourself out. Everybody needs a little help in the bedroom. We all know that. You get a little older, you put in a couple pounds. You need a little sis, you got juice a little bit.

• 18:08Speaker 01

  Also, listen, if you're just, also, let's say you're a stud in great shape. But, you know.

• 18:14H. Foley?

  Want to keep her coming back.

• 18:15Speaker 01

  Blow her brains out if you catch my drift. Have her walk in funny.

• 18:20H. Foley?

  Woo, Kevin.

• 18:21Speaker 01

  How you doing?

• 18:21H. Foley?

  Family show.

• 18:22Speaker 01

  Hey, just saying.

• 18:25H. Foley?

  For procreation only.

• 18:26Speaker 01

  Yes. Uh, guys, listen, BlueChew, uh, listen, they got, BlueChew Gold is the newest innovation from the number one chewable ED brand. This ain't your grandpa's little blue pill. This is the four-in-one beast that sets the gold standard for performa- I don't know if I'm up to this. We're talking two ingredients for blood flow that keep your rocket pumping.

• 18:45H. Foley?

  Woo!

• 18:46Speaker 01

  And apomorphine and oxytocin to turn up the arousal. I'm hard right now.

• 18:52H. Foley?

  Don't have what he's having.

• 18:53Speaker 01

  Listen, this stuff works because I'm reading about it and I'm hard. Uh, it turns up the arousal connection in your body and brain. It dissolves under your tongue and works in as little as 15 minutes. Jesus.

• 19:02H. Foley?

  Let's go.

• 19:03Speaker 01

  Machi macha, I'm still be in the car. I'm on my way to pick her up if you catch my drift.

• 19:08H. Foley?

  Get in!

• 19:08Speaker 01

  Uh, right now, make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at BlueChew.com.

• 19:13H. Foley?

  Love their coffee.

• 19:14Speaker 01

  Uh, and we've got a special deal for AYG listeners. Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold and use the code GARBAGE. That's promo code GARBAGE. Visit BlueChew.com for details, important safety information. We thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast.

• 19:25H. Foley?

  Yes, we do. Kevin, let's talk about DraftKings.

• 19:27Speaker 01

  The kings of the draft.

• 19:29H. Foley?

  Let's talk about DraftKings and their new live betting.

• 19:31Speaker 01

  Woo!

• 19:32H. Foley?

  Let's do that. Is turning up the stakes for every DraftKings customer with over $2.5 million prizes something you'd be interested in? Yeah, I think it would. Got the playoffs coming up.

• 19:41Speaker 01

  I know.

• 19:41H. Foley?

  We got the playoffs coming up. Do yourself a favor, get on DraftKings, start making a little bit of cash.

• 19:47Speaker 01

  Yes, uh, this is, you open a DraftKings Sports app and opt in, place a live bet for $1 or more on Sunday's NFL playoff games. Which, hey, newsflash, I do. How you doing? Uh, and every live bet means another chance to win. Place a live bet and stack your entries all Sunday long. Listen, I'm a DraftKings guy. Go Birds, DraftKings guy. I have my systems. I bet, I do this, I do that. I don't tell a lot of people. I like to keep it to myself. It's my little, my little treat.

• 20:18H. Foley?

  You do well, too.

• 20:19Speaker 01

  I do the live bets, I do the in-game wagers, I do first touchdown, I do two touchdowns. I do all the stuff that I like doing. I got my system, my system's working. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app right now and use the code AYG. Bet live for your share of $2.5 million in prizes with the code AYG. In partnership with DraftKings, the crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. New York, call 877-8HOPENY or text HOPENY. In Connecticut, call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas, wager tax pass through may apply in Illinois. 21-plus in most states. Avoid in Ontario. Restrictions apply. No purchase necessary.

• 21:01Speaker 01

  Three sweepstakes with separate opt-ins. Minimum odds, negative 500. Prizes either bonus bets that expire in seven days or single-use profit boosts. See official rules at dkng.co/livemillions for entry period and free method of entry. Sponsored by Crown Gaming, Inc.

• 21:22H. Foley?

  Crown Gaming, Incorporated.

• 21:22Speaker 01

  Thanks. I get, I, listen, I get, I...

• 21:25H. Foley?

  Just forget the whole thing.

• 21:28Speaker 01

  I understand, I just, sometimes you say it and everybody... This is a, communication is, this is a problem with you sometimes. If you'll say something or we'll say something and, or you'll say something, we'll all, everybody that hears it interprets it one way and you go, "I didn't mean that." And I go, "I understand, but this is how the room understood what you said."

• 21:50H. Foley?

  And I lost it.

• 21:51Speaker 01

  And then that's, so, I think a lot of times you say that to, you know, you're a 50-year-old guy, calling people sir that are significantly...

• 21:59H. Foley?

  Nobody knows I'm 50. They think I'm 35.

• 22:02Speaker 01

  I understand, but I think, if you've seen manifest...

• 22:09H. Foley?

  It's a high school.

• 22:10Speaker 01

  Now, how old am I again, by the way? Um...

• 22:13H. Foley?

  What? I don't know. How old are ya? I don't know if this really matters. Character.

• 22:18Speaker 01

  But, do you have anything on is sir, is there age built into sir? Or is that just all what we presume, the assumption of it?

• 22:25Speaker 03

  I was more confused of what was the point of the improv act down? What were you trying to prove with the act down?

• 22:30Speaker 01

  The difference between sir and brother, which I get. Sir is the introduction, brother's like, we're already friends.

• 22:35H. Foley?

  Yes. Cause we've, we've, we've demonstrated that we have mutual respect for each other, and now we're boys.

• 22:43Speaker 01

  I get that. That makes sense.

• 22:45H. Foley?

  I got a great head nod from a dude the other day. He was, he was eating breakfast and I walked by. He looked like a, like a European assassin, but he was with his family.

• 22:54Speaker 01

  Is it me?

• 22:55H. Foley?

  No. No.

• 22:57Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 22:58H. Foley?

  You look like an American...

• 23:00Speaker 01

  That guy.

• 23:01H. Foley?

  No.

• 23:01Speaker 01

  Podcaster.

• 23:02H. Foley?

  No.

• 23:02Speaker 01

  What?

• 23:03H. Foley?

  A little washed up. You're thin now, so you just look a little washed up.

• 23:06Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 23:07H. Foley?

  You look sleepy, tired, burned out. Yeah, face.

• 23:11Speaker 01

  Check, checked. I felt like I came in refreshed for Q1.

• 23:14H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 23:15Speaker 01

  Just saying. How I feel.

• 23:17H. Foley?

  Brought that toot with you through the new years, didn't ya?

• 23:19Speaker 01

  Yeah. You've never let yours go, have ya?

• 23:21H. Foley?

  No, I'm chipper as it can be, sir.

• 23:23Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 23:24H. Foley?

  It's good to see you, brother. What were you asking me?

• 23:27Speaker 03

  Uh, point for Foley, sir is not age-specific.

• 23:32Speaker 01

  Sure. Sure, sure.

• 23:34H. Foley?

  You won, baby!

• 23:36Speaker 01

  Everything's looking up for the Bugman.

• 23:38H. Foley?

  Go!

• 23:39Speaker 01

  Fuck. You're so... Sir, I don't care what you call me, you still can't get a table here. Step aside for the paying customers.

• 23:46H. Foley?

  I have a gift card.

• 23:47Speaker 01

  And put those, put those matches in Mint's back, please. Stop going through the codes at the go check.

• 23:53H. Foley?

  I left my keys in this.

• 23:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, the definition of sir, no one's calling a fucking little kid sir. Hey, sir, how ya doin'? Yeah, because it's age-appropriate. I don't care, I don't care what fucking Webster's dictionary says. I'm digging my heels in.

• 24:05H. Foley?

  Is that Webster's?

• 24:06Speaker 01

  Uh, Gary.

• 24:07H. Foley?

  What happened to them, by the way? They kinda tanked, didn't they?

• 24:10Speaker 01

  I think dictionaries is a whole... You ever, hey, they're introducing this to the dictionary. Shut up.

• 24:15H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah.

• 24:15Speaker 01

  We don't care. It's not 1942 anymore. I got, I got porn to watch.

• 24:22H. Foley?

  Bitch, your encyclopedias have taken a bath, too.

• 24:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't think they exist anymore.

• 24:27H. Foley?

  No?

• 24:28Speaker 01

  I remember when they put them online, I remember that in college, it was like, they're all online. And that was big. Go to like Britannica dot com, you had to have like a login. I remember, I could never remember my password.

• 24:38H. Foley?

  I used to love an encyclopedia.

• 24:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was fun, like going to the, going to the library, pulling it out, looking at it, da, da, da, da.

• 24:45H. Foley?

  You'd catch a boob or two in them sometimes, I remember.

• 24:48Speaker 01

  Under B.

• 24:49H. Foley?

  Something.

• 24:50Speaker 01

  For boobs.

• 24:51H. Foley?

  You'd catch a little titty in there, I can't remember why.

• 24:53Speaker 01

  Sure. I mean, it was educational purposes.

• 24:56H. Foley?

  That National Geographic was always a good set of cans.

• 24:59Speaker 01

  This, it was probably early to mid 90s, there was these set of books that were black, they were white, like the covers were white with like black, they were all about sharks, or like fish, or snake, man, they were the shit, because they were like new. So I'd be in my crusty ass library, all leftover from the 70s, walking there and start sneezing right away, dustier than a motherfucker.

• 25:24H. Foley?

  Do you have a book on asbestos lawsuits?

• 25:26Speaker 01

  I'm doing some case study. Uh, yeah, just fucking.

• 25:31H. Foley?

  Finding something in the library was brutal.

• 25:33Speaker 01

  And like that was cool, there was a cool new book, and you're like, this is about sharks, and I was eight, and sharks were cool.

• 25:39H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 25:39Speaker 01

  And there was a book about skateboarding, it was old as fuck, I was like, both, it was, they were the old skateboards, they were like all the way straight.

• 25:46H. Foley?

  Just going down a hill?

• 25:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, like in and out of cones, and I'm like.

• 25:49H. Foley?

  Listening to the monkeys? Do, do, do, do, do.

• 25:52Speaker 01

  I'm like, this shit sucks. Give me a Ripper, something, something like that.

• 25:56H. Foley?

  Thrasher, good Thrasher magazine.

• 25:58Speaker 01

  Well, we had CCS, that was the big magazine, man.

• 26:01H. Foley?

  What's that?

• 26:02Speaker 01

  It was a skate catalog, CCS. I don't know what it stood for.

• 26:05H. Foley?

  In the library?

• 26:06Speaker 01

  No, that was like what we had, that was our only way you could really consume.

• 26:11H. Foley?

  You didn't read Thrasher?

• 26:13Speaker 01

  I didn't know who you could, I didn't know where we could get our hands on Thrasher, they didn't sell it at Wawa.

• 26:18H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 26:18Speaker 01

  You had to go to like a specialty store or something to get that, and my mom was not subscribing to something called Thrasher.

• 26:26H. Foley?

  And you couldn't really skate, so you couldn't get that.

• 26:27Speaker 01

  And I couldn't skate, no. I could cruise like a summer bitch, but um, yeah, that was uh, we had to catalog, pass that thing around. Fucking jerk off to it, no, what, gee.

• 26:39Speaker 03

  California cheapskate.

• 26:40Speaker 01

  Is that what it stood for? That's what my buddy said, but I never believed him. Look at that.

• 26:44H. Foley?

  You cannot read? I always say that underneath the acronym.

• 26:47Speaker 01

  No, it did not.

• 26:48H. Foley?

  California Cheapskates?

• 26:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:50H. Foley?

  CCP?

• 26:51Speaker 01

  CC- what? Goddamn commie motherfucker.

• 26:55H. Foley?

  California Cheaps- oh, CCS.

• 26:58Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 26:59H. Foley?

  CCP, it was CCCP.

• 27:02Speaker 01

  Who's that? The Chinese?

• 27:03H. Foley?

  No, the Russians. It wasn't called the CCP, it was CCC, it was three Cs, right?

• 27:09Speaker 03

  No, CCP Chinese Communist Party.

• 27:11Speaker 01

  That's who's banging now.

• 27:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:14H. Foley?

  What does CCP mean?

• 27:15Speaker 01

  Who got to you in Q4, Q1?

• 27:17Speaker 03

  I just said it. Chinese Communist Party.

• 27:19Speaker 01

  It's right there in the name? And we let that happen?

• 27:23H. Foley?

  I was cloned over the New Year.

• 27:27Speaker 01

  These guys are commies and they're broadcasting it?

• 27:29H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 27:29Speaker 01

  And they're making all of our gear?

• 27:31H. Foley?

  Making all of our gear.

• 27:33Speaker 01

  We're fucked.

• 27:34H. Foley?

  Poo, you ain't lying, sister. Good to see you, sir.

• 27:37Speaker 01

  Well, yeah.

• 27:39H. Foley?

  Let's talk a little business.

• 27:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, let's get into it, gang. As you know, we got a gosh- I mean, all this, uh, the respectful talk, neither here nor there, scene studies, acting premises, me killing, whatever, um...

• 27:51H. Foley?

  You were not killing.

• 27:51Speaker 01

  We got- I was killing!

• 27:53H. Foley?

  You done pretty good.

• 27:54Speaker 01

  That bathroom bit?

• 27:55H. Foley?

  Yeah, but it was all my setup.

• 27:56Speaker 01

  And you wouldn't give it to me. No, that was all set up.

• 27:58H. Foley?

  Cause I was trying to prove a point and you were screwing me.

• 28:00Speaker 01

  You were acting, I'm reacting. I don't see lines, I see colors, blue, red, green. I connect them to emotions. You're there, "Buh buh buh, what's my mo-" I'm just in it. Huh? Hit me!

• 28:14H. Foley?

  I don't like you very much.

• 28:15Speaker 01

  Ha ha ha, is this a scene you're doing? Cause you're nailing it.

• 28:19H. Foley?

  Thank you.

• 28:20Speaker 01

  Uh...

• 28:20H. Foley?

  Alright, now we got a little mutual respect.

• 28:22Speaker 01

  Gang, as you know, when you sign up for the old Patreon, we will answer your garbage question on the air. Uh, and this is one I don't know if it's really ever come across, this one's from Kippy's mother-in-law, hold your tongue.

• 28:33H. Foley?

  Whoa!

• 28:35Speaker 01

  $10 bag of dicks here, that's just inappropriate, never had one read. Is it garbage to vote for re- reality TV contests like Dancing with the Stars? We never did that.

• 28:47H. Foley?

  You never voted for any of the, um, American Idols? Come on.

• 28:53Speaker 01

  I'm telling you, we watched that.

• 28:54H. Foley?

  You weren't a Ruben Stubbs fan?

• 28:57Speaker 01

  That's your version of him, Ruben Stubbs?

• 28:59H. Foley?

  Ruben Stubbard.

• 29:00Speaker 01

  Stuttered.

• 29:01H. Foley?

  Stuttered.

• 29:01Speaker 01

  No, we were, that was.

• 29:03H. Foley?

  His name wasn't Stuttered, was it?

• 29:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:05H. Foley?

  Oh, that's brutal.

• 29:06Speaker 01

  That was season two, by the way.

• 29:07H. Foley?

  Ruben Stuttered? No, it wasn't Stuttered.

• 29:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was, dude.

• 29:10H. Foley?

  Stuttered? That's crazy. I would've changed that.

• 29:15Speaker 01

  Um, Ruben Stuttered.

• 29:18H. Foley?

  It's like Danny Lisb.

• 29:23Speaker 01

  Did he have a stutter?

• 29:25H. Foley?

  No.

• 29:25Speaker 01

  Yes, then what's, there's no.

• 29:27H. Foley?

  This is, I don't know, this is strange.

• 29:28Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 29:29H. Foley?

  For a showbiz name.

• 29:31Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 29:31H. Foley?

  It's not cool like Kevin Ryan.

• 29:34Speaker 01

  Oh, my bad.

• 29:34H. Foley?

  H. H.

• 29:37Speaker 01

  H. H Foley.

• 29:39H. Foley?

  H.

• 29:40Speaker 01

  H.

• 29:41H. Foley?

  H. My mom says H.

• 29:43Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 29:43H. Foley?

  Yeah, it's H E N R I.

• 29:47Speaker 01

  Did you spell your name wrong?

• 29:49H. Foley?

  H E N R Y is how you spell my name.

• 29:51Speaker 01

  I thought you said I.

• 29:52H. Foley?

  No. I'm not H E N R Y.

• 29:54Speaker 01

  H O R E.

• 29:55H. Foley?

  Which I would be. I could be French. I would do it.

• 29:59Speaker 01

  Hit it. Act.

• 30:02H. Foley?

  Act?

• 30:04Speaker 01

  This guy, this guy really, really turns on when the lights come on.

• 30:06H. Foley?

  Yeah, bonsoir, monsieur. Parlez-vous anglais si vous plaît?

• 30:11Speaker 01

  Bet there's a. Hey, hey, once you find the punchline, you stick with it. That's.

• 30:16H. Foley?

  He's good, gang.

• 30:17Speaker 01

  Showbiz. Um, that's, uh, no, I mean, we were, dude, we've, I mean, we were invested in the first season of that. Justin Guarini from Bucks County.

• 30:28H. Foley?

  You didn't vote, though? You had to.

• 30:30Speaker 01

  No, that's how my mom, we, that, that, we come.

• 30:34H. Foley?

  That was a toll-free number, I'm sorry.

• 30:36Speaker 01

  Tell Denise that. And the height of getting fucking. No. The TV and the phone don't talk. That's how we operate. That's like the, that's like the microwave talking to the air conditioner. That don't happen.

• 30:48H. Foley?

  What are you two chatting about?

• 30:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, we're not, you're not calling the TV with your phone.

• 30:52H. Foley?

  You've never called?

• 30:53Speaker 01

  That's how they get you.

• 30:54H. Foley?

  Yeah, calling a number off TV.

• 30:56Speaker 01

  No way. Well, for what? There are plenty of people are voting. One vote ain't gonna sway ya. Never. We watched every episode. A live vote every fucking time. Never once.

• 31:08H. Foley?

  Just leaving it up to the universe.

• 31:09Speaker 01

  I remember the first time I saw one of my, one of my ladies, one of my babysitters called the radio. I was like, you're gonna get in trouble when she gets home. He finds out you called Philadelphia.

• 31:22H. Foley?

  It's a goddamn long distance call.

• 31:23Speaker 01

  We're in a suburbs, duds.

• 31:25H. Foley?

  Um.

• 31:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, no.

• 31:26H. Foley?

  I got caught one time. During the day, every once in a while, they would have these wackadoo, like coloring sets. Like, it'd be like weird ink, glow in the dark ink. It would be like a set that had like a million colors and a million pieces of paper and like all this stuff with it. It was all crap.

• 31:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:48H. Foley?

  I got caught calling, I mean, phone in hand, dialing it.

• 31:53Speaker 01

  How old are you?

• 31:54H. Foley?

  It was like last year. What do you mean?

• 31:57Speaker 01

  I'm asking how old you were. You're telling a story.

• 31:59H. Foley?

  I was 11 or 12.

• 32:00Speaker 01

  Okay. Thanks, I was just curious.

• 32:02H. Foley?

  The cops?

• 32:03Speaker 01

  What the fuck?

• 32:04H. Foley?

  On your phone.

• 32:05Speaker 01

  Uh.

• 32:06H. Foley?

  I got screamed at. Yeah, I caught it.

• 32:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, we were never...

• 32:10H. Foley?

  Fucking relax, lady.

• 32:11Speaker 01

  We were on play on the phone.

• 32:13H. Foley?

  Freezy payments.

• 32:15Speaker 01

  I remember selling that to my mom. She'd be like, no. I go, it's just 39 payment, he's in 9.99. You got that? I got that on me.

• 32:23H. Foley?

  What are you trying to get?

• 32:24Speaker 01

  Whatever. I, dude, I loved an infomercial. I loved that. That slap chop guy, he could sell me anything. Shamwell slap chop. It turned on to be, turned into be a bit of a deviant.

• 32:34H. Foley?

  He can only do one egg. He should've made that thing fucking bigger.

• 32:38Speaker 01

  In a slap chop?

• 32:39H. Foley?

  I'm not doing one egg at a time. I'm a little handful of nuts. The fuck?

• 32:43Speaker 01

  My aunt used, my aunt Karen used to call Danny slap chop because he's a jerk off and she thought that guy was a jerk off.

• 32:51Speaker 01

  Damn, he's like fucking 11 years old. Shut up slap chop. You're a jerk off just like the slap chop guy.

• 32:59H. Foley?

  I would know him as the sham wow.

• 33:01Speaker 01

  Sure. You know what was cool? Those dudes got their start.

• 33:05H. Foley?

  I know.

• 33:05Speaker 01

  At the, at the.

• 33:06H. Foley?

  At the convention.

• 33:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was fucking cool. I respect that.

• 33:09H. Foley?

  Could've been your future.

• 33:10Speaker 01

  Coming up the hard way.

• 33:11H. Foley?

  You could've done it.

• 33:12Speaker 01

  I was alright.

• 33:12H. Foley?

  You just weren't personable enough.

• 33:14Speaker 01

  I was great.

• 33:14H. Foley?

  You weren't big enough.

• 33:18H. Foley?

  You weren't big enough. You didn't have a good face. You had an untrustworthy face. Plus your little fat ass back then.

• 33:23Speaker 01

  I was. But I was jovial. I was jovial.

• 33:26H. Foley?

  What did happen to your hair as far as the color? Why is it darker now? You were like bleach blonde when you were a kid.

• 33:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, it happens.

• 33:34H. Foley?

  Does it?

• 33:34Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 33:35H. Foley?

  What are you doing? What are you looking at? You're looking at something. Yeah, we're really going at it, Q1, aren't we?

• 33:43Speaker 01

  Uh, you got it out for me today.

• 33:45H. Foley?

  That's not true.

• 33:46Speaker 01

  That's not, not true.

• 33:47H. Foley?

  I don't. I just want you to be a good scene partner.

• 33:51Speaker 01

  Was I not?

• 33:51H. Foley?

  So I can get the laughs.

• 33:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm dunking on your fucking.

• 33:54H. Foley?

  We're not competing against each other. We're supposed to be working together. Make fun of Luke.

• 34:01H. Foley?

  Squeaky. Kim, what's up about Chime?

• 34:03Speaker 01

  Chime!

• 34:05H. Foley?

  As you know, baby, life comes at you pretty quick.

• 34:07Speaker 01

  You ain't lying, big man.

• 34:08H. Foley?

  Things start adding up.

• 34:09Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 34:10H. Foley?

  You know what I'm saying? I wish I could go back and tell my younger self. If you're gonna do a little banking, make sure you save your money. Make sure you do it right. Watch out for bank fees, all that kinda stuff. I'll tell you what I really wish. I could go back and say, "Hey, I wish I had Chime."

• 34:24Speaker 01

  I know. Listen, if you're out there, this is where Chime comes in. Chime is changing the way people bank. It's hard, listen, it's hard enough to keep a buck as it is. Then you got these big corporate banks coming after ya.

• 34:37H. Foley?

  Overdraft fees.

• 34:38Speaker 01

  Overdraft fee, uh, monthly statement, not it. Oh, five dollars for this, ten dollars for that. They got their hand in your pocket.

• 34:44H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 34:45Speaker 01

  Not with Chime. Chime offers the most rewarding fee-free banking, all with no overdraft fees, no monthly fees, no minimum balances. You get 5% cash back on the Chime card in a category of your choice, like gas or groceries, all while building credit through regular, everyday spending. And if you're ever in a pinch, SpotMe lets you overdraft up to $200 fee-free. Look at that. I know, I need that, dog. Uh, right now, you can join the millions that are already banking fee-free with America's number one choice for banking. Head to chime.com/garbage. That's chime.com/garbage. Sign up now, it only takes a few minutes.

• 35:20Speaker 04

  Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services and Chime card provided by Chime's bank partners. Qualifying direct deposits required. Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com/disclosures for details.

• 35:33Speaker 05

  Hey Spotify listeners. When you travel with American Airlines, you'll enjoy comfort and convenience at every altitude. Before takeoff, unwind in the Admirals Club Lounge with curated self-serve offerings of hearty bites and refreshments. In-flight, stay connected with high-speed Wi-Fi. Sponsored by AT&T. Your journey is designed to feel easy from the moment you check in to the moment you arrive. No matter where you're going, American gets you there. Book now at aa.com.

• 35:58Speaker 01

  Um, alright, let's see here. This one is, uh...

• 36:03H. Foley?

  Hold on, real quick. Great question, that's trashy.

• 36:05Speaker 01

  Yes, very much so.

• 36:07H. Foley?

  But I respect it.

• 36:08Speaker 01

  I get it now, then I remember when they moved to text and that was, we just, now it just...

• 36:13H. Foley?

  Even that's dangerous.

• 36:14Speaker 01

  It was that time and technology that my mom didn't trust and we were just like, it doesn't, it just, that's not for us. We were never, my mom never understood the phone and TV enough and the cellphone bills and plan. Now, it all makes sense, whatever, whatever, but...

• 36:30H. Foley?

  Then Simon Cowell's got your number. And he's probably using that information. That was all rigged anyway, right?

• 36:37Speaker 01

  I don't think so.

• 36:38H. Foley?

  Get the fuck out of here.

• 36:40Speaker 01

  I mean, no, because they...

• 36:41H. Foley?

  They wanted who they wanted to win. Studdard would've won. He's, kid got the job.

• 36:46Speaker 01

  Didn't Studdard win?

• 36:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, Studdard won.

• 36:47H. Foley?

  Oh, he did?

• 36:47Speaker 03

  Season two.

• 36:48H. Foley?

  Huh. But he had a one in.

• 36:50Speaker 03

  Chris Daughtry got robbed.

• 36:52H. Foley?

  Chris Daughtry?

• 36:52Speaker 01

  Who he went on to be a big star, right? And Ruben, Ruben did real, uh, more like, R&B.

• 36:58Speaker 03

  They weren't the same season, but, uh...

• 36:59Speaker 01

  Oh, they weren't?

• 37:00Speaker 03

  Daughtry was later. I think he was Jordan Sparks' season.

• 37:02H. Foley?

  Do you remember this? Were you even alive?

• 37:03Speaker 03

  Jordan Sparks, yeah, we were big in the Dempsey household.

• 37:06Speaker 01

  She was hot, right?

• 37:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:07H. Foley?

  What are you talking about? This is like 2003.

• 37:09Speaker 03

  We were watching. We were, we were texting. I remember we had to wait a week because my dad was like, I have to figure this out first, make sure it's not a scam.

• 37:16Speaker 01

  Yes!

• 37:18H. Foley?

  You were three or four years old.

• 37:19Speaker 03

  Yeah. Uh, Jordan Sparks, what season was she? She was season six.

• 37:25Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 37:26Speaker 03

  2007.

• 37:27H. Foley?

  So you were seven years old?

• 37:29Speaker 03

  I was 10 years old.

• 37:30H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 37:31Speaker 01

  Prime time, sitting with the family, watching it.

• 37:33H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 37:33Speaker 01

  10 years old, hot little Jordan Sparks?

• 37:36H. Foley?

  I don't know her.

• 37:37Speaker 01

  I just remember her being hot, that's all I remember.

• 37:39H. Foley?

  I was doing other things at the time. Pursuing my own career. Entertainment.

• 37:47H. Foley?

  This camera's mine.

• 37:50H. Foley?

  Oh, super single. Trav, hit me on the wide.

• 37:55Speaker 01

  Uh...

• 37:55H. Foley?

  Hit me. You.

• 37:57Speaker 01

  No. Trav, hit him from the side, far side.

• 38:00H. Foley?

  No, don't do that.

• 38:01Speaker 01

  Bad angle, bad angle.

• 38:02H. Foley?

  Don't do that. Son of a bitch.

• 38:04Speaker 01

  Hit him with the gooch.

• 38:05H. Foley?

  I'm working on it.

• 38:06Speaker 01

  Hit him with the gooch cam.

• 38:07H. Foley?

  No.

• 38:07Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, I got one of them installed. Goes right to the CCP.

• 38:12H. Foley?

  That'd be awesome if you had a little camera in there.

• 38:14Speaker 01

  Uh, alright, let's see here. This one's from Cody. Long time $10 homie, never had one read.

• 38:20H. Foley?

  Love it.

• 38:21Speaker 01

  Is it garbage if my lineage of car ownership in the past 15 years has been, one, a Mitsubishi Galant?

• 38:28H. Foley?

  Wow.

• 38:29Speaker 01

  Two, a Dodge Caliber, which I'm not even sure really what that is. A Chrysler 300, then a Nissan Altima. Man.

• 38:37H. Foley?

  Man, this guy's up there.

• 38:38Speaker 01

  I gotta get eyes on it.

• 38:40H. Foley?

  Pimpin'.

• 38:40Speaker 01

  Dodge Caliber? That's gotta be that real little guy, right?

• 38:45H. Foley?

  Some of the, some of those guys.

• 38:46Speaker 01

  Oh no! Oh man, this thing stinks. It was like the 300 station wagon. And they were always that, they were always this red color.

• 38:56H. Foley?

  Oh!

• 38:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, they thought that was gonna be like a roadster or something. That thing stunk. Man, that's a tough lineage.

• 39:06H. Foley?

  Yeah. Damn, dog.

• 39:08Speaker 01

  Mitsubishi Galants, my boy had a, my boy Deli had a Galant and he loved it. It had a fucking sp-.

• 39:15H. Foley?

  They're classy, a Mitsubishi's classy.

• 39:16Speaker 01

  His parents had it and it was his hand, like he got it like hand me down 10 years later or whatever. I remember he was the first guy I knew with a spoiler on his car, because they had like the sports package or had a moon roof. Fucking spoiler, CD player, like not a head unit that came with the CD player.

• 39:33H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 39:33Speaker 01

  And cranking heaters and that thing.

• 39:35H. Foley?

  That's pretty sweet.

• 39:36Speaker 01

  Going. Uh...

• 39:38H. Foley?

  I can't do a Mitsubishi though.

• 39:40Speaker 01

  Why?

• 39:42Speaker 01

  CCP.

• 39:43H. Foley?

  No. Proharbor.

• 39:46Speaker 01

  Ah. Gotcha.

• 39:51Speaker 01

  Where's that shirt made? Uh...

• 39:54H. Foley?

  Didn't attack the Arizona, he's Japanese, he's Mitsubishi Zeros.

• 39:57Speaker 01

  I seen you having sushi three days ago.

• 39:59H. Foley?

  That shit's good.

• 40:02H. Foley?

  I just, specifically, that company made Japanese, made zeros.

• 40:10Speaker 01

  That war with the country, and you had nothing to do with it?

• 40:13H. Foley?

  I was around back then. I'm kidding.

• 40:16Speaker 01

  Uh, Nissan Altima, 100% dirtbag. It's not everybody, not every, this is, I wanna, I wanna say this. Not everybody who drives an Altima is a dirtbag. Every dirtbag drives an Altima.

• 40:31H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 40:32Speaker 01

  Put it that way.

• 40:32H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 40:33Speaker 01

  It's not if and then then. And I just found out why... Oh, I, yeah.

• 40:39H. Foley?

  It was a shittier version of the Maxima.

• 40:40Speaker 01

  I know, but why, I think they were renting, they didn't care, they were getting their money from the financing, rather than to sell the car, or something like that.

• 40:51H. Foley?

  That was a big finance car.

• 40:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, they, they would give it to any good credit, bad credit, that was like that kinda thing. So, all these people, all these dirtbags would get fucking Altimas. Think they're race cars. There's like that old video of like, every Altima driver, it's like...

• 41:04H. Foley?

  Smelled like weed.

• 41:05Speaker 01

  Ah, dude.

• 41:06H. Foley?

  Always smell like weed in an Altima.

• 41:08Speaker 01

  I've, I've been in so many blunt cruises in an Altima. My Dan, my Danny's first, Danny, after Danny's bounce back, first car was an Altima. And he crashed it in the driveway into my mom's car, he was so mad, I laughed at him, I thought he was gonna punch a hole through my head. It was Christmas Day, we were going to mass.

• 41:24H. Foley?

  By accident?

• 41:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:26H. Foley?

  I don't know if you think you've...

• 41:27Speaker 01

  Had any insurance scam?

• 41:30H. Foley?

  You're laid out on the driveway?

• 41:31Speaker 01

  Cause the Altima's kinda nice.

• 41:33H. Foley?

  Trying to sue your mother, cause she wouldn't let you vote for Ruben Studdard?

• 41:38Speaker 01

  This thing's a fix anyway.

• 41:40H. Foley?

  It is fixed.

• 41:41Speaker 01

  No way.

• 41:41H. Foley?

  That's record contract shit. You think Kelly Clarkson wasn't winning? She had all them hits.

• 41:48Speaker 01

  What, what are you talking about?

• 41:50H. Foley?

  Kelly Clarkson doesn't have hits?

• 41:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, but the idea is that that launched her career, they were nobodies.

• 41:55H. Foley?

  They wanted her to win, cause they had those songs written for her, ready to go.

• 41:58Speaker 01

  Gotcha.

• 41:58H. Foley?

  Trust me, I know the music.

• 42:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, I for, I forgot, forgot who I was talking to.

• 42:02H. Foley?

  Yes!

• 42:03Speaker 01

  My apologies.

• 42:04H. Foley?

  Luke, pull it up. He's working on it right now.

• 42:07Speaker 01

  Pull what up?

• 42:08H. Foley?

  Or are you cutting this?

• 42:10Speaker 01

  Are we running? Uh, alright, let's see. This is another good one.

• 42:15H. Foley?

  Hit me.

• 42:16Speaker 01

  Captain Cardboard, three words for ya. Pictures of fireworks.

• 42:22Speaker 01

  I've caught myself trying to take pictures of them.

• 42:26H. Foley?

  Oh, oh, oh, you mean, oh.

• 42:28Speaker 01

  If you're taking pictures of fireworks. It's the same thing as pictures of a concert. And I get that initial urge, you're experiencing something, you go, I wanna... How do I remember this? I have a device in my pocket to capture this. And then you do it and you go, ah, what the fuck am I doing? But I get it.

• 42:43H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 42:43Speaker 01

  I get it.

• 42:43H. Foley?

  I thought you meant pictures of fireworks that hadn't been exploded yet. Like, taking a picture of, like, the setup. Like, from a magazine or something.

• 42:50Speaker 01

  That's cooler.

• 42:52H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 42:53Speaker 01

  But pictures of... I got the video, got the grand finale. That's, I mean, can't be doing that. Uh, alright, this one's from Back to the Poor House. "In school, when I was 12, I stole someone's Rice Krispie Squares bar and I got caught. My excuse was my grandfather died yesterday." I don't get it, but I fucking respect it, dude. That's awesome.

• 43:15H. Foley?

  Out of grief.

• 43:16Speaker 01

  That's like, uh...

• 43:18H. Foley?

  Let's go.

• 43:18Speaker 01

  That's like pure panic. You just go, what will get me out of this? My grandfather died.

• 43:23H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 43:23Speaker 01

  And if he did, I respect for using the real excuse. "I don't know, I'm so sad." His grandfather. "Grandfather, it's okay." But that's like...

• 43:33H. Foley?

  He worked at Rice Krispies.

• 43:36Speaker 01

  It was his favorite dessert. Um, that's also... That'd get you jammed up, because if you lie about that, and they call home because you got caught stealing or whatever, and they go...

• 43:44H. Foley?

  Sorry about your loss.

• 43:45Speaker 01

  What the hell you talking? He died in Pearl Harbor. Fuck, you jammed up.

• 43:50H. Foley?

  Mitsubishi Zero got him.

• 43:52Speaker 01

  "I refuse to drive a Galant." Ultimas are okay.

• 43:55H. Foley?

  But I will let my kids steal treats.

• 43:57Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, that's tough. I've never really got caught in that kinda...

• 44:03Speaker 01

  I've never really had a... I got caught in that and had to lie, really. I never had, like, any big lie, or if that is true, I've never... Tried to get out using some unconnected excuse like that. I don't think I've ever really got caught in that kinda sense.

• 44:20H. Foley?

  Hmm. I spun lies.

• 44:22Speaker 01

  Still do.

• 44:23H. Foley?

  No, of course. But I know-

• 44:25Speaker 01

  It's part of the job.

• 44:25H. Foley?

  No, I'm a professional. But like even as a kid-

• 44:28Speaker 01

  World's worst liar.

• 44:30H. Foley?

  Even as a kid, I was a liar. But not like, just to keep my narrative. You know what I mean? Not like lying-

• 44:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know, I know exactly what you mean. You do it, you do it all day, every day.

• 44:42H. Foley?

  Things that people don't need to know.

• 44:43Speaker 01

  Shh.

• 44:45H. Foley?

  Who ate all the hot dogs? I don't know, ma. Probably the dog. If I had to guess.

• 44:51Speaker 01

  Yeah. Uh, definitely you lie to not be in trouble. I mean like, cause my dad would lose it. So it was like, don't- I think most- Scratching yourself?

• 45:03H. Foley?

  Yeah, I scratched myself with my glasses. Aw, that's good. That gets in there. I need a back scrubber.

• 45:09Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 45:10H. Foley?

  Person.

• 45:10Speaker 01

  Sure. If anybody out there.

• 45:14H. Foley?

  I just scratch. I love getting my back scratched. Like a grizzly.

• 45:19Speaker 01

  Okay. Um, uh, I think there's a healthy amount of lying that needs to be done within the siblings to the parents. Not all information should travel up the organizational chart to mom and dad.

• 45:38H. Foley?

  Need to know basis. You don't need to know.

• 45:41Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. Certain things kept between me and my brother.

• 45:45H. Foley?

  Oh, of course.

• 45:46Speaker 01

  Fight happens between us, we'll get over it. They don't fucking, don't, you know.

• 45:50H. Foley?

  Never.

• 45:51Speaker 01

  All that kinda stuff. I get that line to keep homeostasis of a parent losing it. I getting someone in trouble, whatever, whatever. Um-

• 45:59H. Foley?

  We never really rat it.

• 46:02Speaker 01

  I don't think we did either.

• 46:03H. Foley?

  No, never rat it. Never even like when, we would never throw that in each other's face. It was always done through physical violence.

• 46:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:14H. Foley?

  Which I usually got the shit beat. I mean, he's fucking two years older than me.

• 46:17Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 46:18H. Foley?

  Stuffed my head in the couch. I fucking freak out. Started crying and me, I thought I was gonna suffocate. But there's air down there. The fuck was I worried about?

• 46:29Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 46:29H. Foley?

  You said just panic me.

• 46:31Speaker 01

  Seemed to be over.

• 46:39Speaker 01

  You are a squirrely man.

• 46:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, we didn't, uh, we always kept, kept everything, you know, tell my mom, my mom was a bit of a... Was the more of a pushover, just cause like, the threat of physical violence wasn't really there, you know what I mean?

• 46:58H. Foley?

  She'd smack you, right?

• 46:59Speaker 01

  Him, Danny, not me so much. But it's also like-

• 47:03H. Foley?

  She don't wanna get butter on her hands.

• 47:12Speaker 01

  Why am I covered in butter?

• 47:13H. Foley?

  Cause you're a fat little bastard.

• 47:15Speaker 01

  I get it, but what was I doing?

• 47:17H. Foley?

  You were eating rolls with butter on it, and you got it all over your face.

• 47:19Speaker 01

  Somebody DM'd me last week, or two weeks ago, whatever it was, it was a bag of Admaroso rolls and a jar of peanut butter, and they're like, Kippy- Cause that's my, that was my go-to, and they're like, "I'll still crush that." They go, "Kippy, this is diabolical, how did you do this?" I loved it.

• 47:34H. Foley?

  You need an ice cold glass of-

• 47:36Speaker 01

  Bill, the, you know, the gallon comes out to the coffee table with you.

• 47:40H. Foley?

  Oh, for sure.

• 47:42Speaker 01

  And you get peanut butter all over that thing, and then your mom yells at you, cause there's peanut butter all over the-

• 47:47H. Foley?

  Wait a minute, all over what, the rim of the gallon?

• 47:50Speaker 01

  No, the handle and stuff, cause I got it on my hand, that stuff's sticky, I don't know if you've had it recently.

• 47:55H. Foley?

  I bet you were drinking it out of there.

• 47:57Speaker 01

  No.

• 47:58H. Foley?

  Your peanut butter backwash.

• 47:59Speaker 01

  No, oh no, and the, the glass looks like you dug it up out of the backyard, cause that's covered in peanut, that's covered in peanut butter.

• 48:07H. Foley?

  I never-

• 48:07Speaker 01

  I do, you put a couple of fucking Hers, Thin Crispy Pretzels in there, give a nice crunch to it, oh my god, talk about Q1.

• 48:18Speaker 01

  I know it's some new merch we're making, is peanut butter sandwiches.

• 48:22H. Foley?

  Sell them at shows.

• 48:23Speaker 01

  Ooh, that's not bad. The venues don't let you sell food and beverage, I tried, dicks. Jerk, oh, let me wet my beak. Nobody wants your fucking, eh, your potato skin. Some guys want a peanut butter sandwich on a long roll.

• 48:36H. Foley?

  Everybody's mouth's all sticky.

• 48:38Speaker 01

  No one's laughing.

• 48:41H. Foley?

  Everyone's drinking milk, getting sleepy.

• 48:44H. Foley?

  Here's my thing. First of all-

• 48:46Speaker 01

  Gay guys.

• 48:48H. Foley?

  Peanut buttermilk might not be bad.

• 48:50Speaker 01

  What?

• 48:51H. Foley?

  What? Wait, gay guys? Peanut butter-

• 48:54Speaker 01

  I was living in a scene.

• 48:55H. Foley?

  Yeah? Peanut buttermilk might not be bad.

• 48:58Speaker 01

  What's peanut buttermilk?

• 48:59H. Foley?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 49:00Speaker 01

  I'm asking.

• 49:01H. Foley?

  No, that's what I'm saying.

• 49:02Speaker 01

  I know.

• 49:03H. Foley?

  We can make it.

• 49:03Speaker 01

  I know, but what would it be?

• 49:05H. Foley?

  Peanut butter and milk, you fucking moron. You put it in there and shake it up with a little sugar.

• 49:08Speaker 01

  Why are you yelling at me?

• 49:10H. Foley?

  Cause you're not getting the idea.

• 49:11Speaker 01

  You're just saying peanut butter.

• 49:14Speaker 01

  Is it like almond milk?

• 49:16H. Foley?

  No.

• 49:17Speaker 01

  Okay, well you can see how I would go that way.

• 49:19H. Foley?

  Get peanut butter.

• 49:20Speaker 01

  Being peanut is a nut.

• 49:21H. Foley?

  Put peanut, put-

• 49:22Speaker 01

  Is there not peanut milk?

• 49:24H. Foley?

  I'm not using that shit.

• 49:25Speaker 01

  What?

• 49:26H. Foley?

  I don't know why I said that.

• 49:27Speaker 01

  What?

• 49:27H. Foley?

  I'm talking about a sweet like coffee milker, like chocolate milk. Peanut butter milk. Is that a thing?

• 49:33Speaker 03

  There's a lot of chocolate peanut butter milks, but no straight up peanut butter milks.

• 49:36H. Foley?

  Ooh.

• 49:38Speaker 01

  I'm out.

• 49:38H. Foley?

  We could do that.

• 49:39Speaker 01

  That's how you, that's gonna get you cancer or something. You can't do that. First of all, peanut butter won't dilute in a fucking, in a glass of milk.

• 49:48H. Foley?

  Shit, I'll get one of those things that you put the pain in.

• 49:51Speaker 01

  A rock tumbler. Come back in three weeks, you got yourself a glass of milk.

• 49:58Speaker 01

  Guys, do you want peanut buttermilk in three to five weeks?

• 50:02H. Foley?

  Um, but what I was gonna say with the, with the, the glass.

• 50:06Speaker 01

  You can hear my rock tumbler, yeah? The smell of them chemmies or whatever you want in there.

• 50:12H. Foley?

  The glass. I go out to a nice joint, you know?

• 50:15Speaker 01

  What are you talking about? I'm sorry.

• 50:17H. Foley?

  Do you, how dirty you get the glass from the peanut butter and amarosa sandwiches with the milk?

• 50:21Speaker 01

  And the pretzels in the middle.

• 50:22H. Foley?

  The pretzels in the middle.

• 50:23Speaker 01

  Couple peas in the M. Yeah. But is peanut milk a thing? You got almond milk.

• 50:31H. Foley?

  There's not. You know why? You know why?

• 50:35Speaker 01

  I mean, no.

• 50:36H. Foley?

  Not neither.

• 50:37Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 50:38H. Foley?

  You're a smart guy. Putting pretzels in your sandwich. Why isn't there peanut butter milk?

• 50:43Speaker 01

  Uh, you don't fucking know?

• 50:44H. Foley?

  Well, no, I don't know.

• 50:45Speaker 03

  There is peanut milk.

• 50:46Speaker 01

  There has to be. They don't get the fucking almond and pistachio and then just stop at peanuts.

• 50:50H. Foley?

  That would be pretty good. You put that, uh, Reese's Puffs?

• 50:53Speaker 01

  Does it taste like peanuts? Cause I'll, does almond taste like almond milk?

• 50:56H. Foley?

  It just tastes like cardboard.

• 50:58Speaker 01

  It stinks. My wife's got all that kinda shit.

• 51:00H. Foley?

  It's whack, man.

• 51:02Speaker 01

  Dumb.

• 51:04H. Foley?

  Late, sir.

• 51:05Speaker 01

  Hippie.

• 51:06H. Foley?

  Oat milk ain't bad. You throw that in a coffee.

• 51:09Speaker 01

  Fucking.

• 51:09H. Foley?

  It all tastes like, it tastes like, like a book. Tastes like a textbook.

• 51:14Speaker 03

  Peanut milk's more in the world of oat milk or almond milk.

• 51:18Speaker 01

  That's what I meant. It's just like, uh, it's not, it's a milk substitute. It's not a, it's not a peanut butter flavored milk.

• 51:24H. Foley?

  I like Thai iced tea.

• 51:27Speaker 01

  Let's get outta here with all that shit.

• 51:28H. Foley?

  It's evaporating. Very good. Popular.

• 51:31Speaker 01

  I don't get the, I don't get all that stuff.

• 51:33H. Foley?

  You don't like Thai iced tea?

• 51:35Speaker 01

  I don't think I ever had it.

• 51:37H. Foley?

  Good. It's like a tea, but it's sweet. And milky.

• 51:41Speaker 01

  I got Snapple. What am I doing? Going to Thailand for tea?

• 51:44H. Foley?

  I'm not going to Thailand. I bring, I got it here.

• 51:47Speaker 01

  No. That and a bubble tea. Don't trust it.

• 51:49H. Foley?

  Love it. I love a brown sugar boba. I don't like the black bobas. It's like black licorice.

• 51:57H. Foley?

  I feel like I'm sucking up caviar.

• 51:59Speaker 01

  That's for you. It's not for me.

• 52:00H. Foley?

  I, I like the, the, the, um, aesthetic of all those places. The Japanese, like, stores and all.

• 52:06Speaker 03

  Yes. Very much with you there.

• 52:08H. Foley?

  You just feel, you feel like you're in a cartoon. You know what I mean? Where superheroes exist.

• 52:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're in like Pokemon or something.

• 52:14H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 52:15Speaker 01

  Hey, Hello Kitty. Check in, will ya?

• 52:19H. Foley?

  Where'd they at? What?

• 52:21Speaker 01

  Uh...

• 52:22H. Foley?

  Listen.

• 52:22Speaker 01

  What?

• 52:23H. Foley?

  Trying to tell you something.

• 52:24Speaker 01

  Why, you don't know, you don't know. You didn't know what you were...

• 52:27H. Foley?

  No, I did. Going back to what you were saying, the glass would be all dirty. I go to a place...

• 52:32Speaker 01

  We'll be right back.

• 52:33H. Foley?

  I go to a place, and if I'm, if I'm doing wine, and I'm eating like, you know, I'm, I'm going in, on like a meat and cheese board, I get that on the thing. And that's gross. Not enough for me, but other people, like, you can't have like, like a milk mustache on your wine glass. So I'll take my napkin and go around and clean it every once in a while.

• 52:55Speaker 01

  Then take the scraps from that, suck on it.

• 52:59H. Foley?

  Which seems to turn people off, too.

• 53:01Speaker 01

  Yeah!

• 53:01H. Foley?

  I've caught people looking at me. That man is cleaning his glass.

• 53:06Speaker 01

  Doing it in the bathroom. Um, yeah, that's a little, you know, I get it. But I would say you're not, and not, I'm not saying I do this. I would say, I'll include myself in that. We're not eating properly.

• 53:21H. Foley?

  No.

• 53:21Speaker 01

  We're not like taking...

• 53:23H. Foley?

  You're not supposed to bite and sip.

• 53:24Speaker 01

  No, of course, but you're also supposed to like, you know, there's not even supposed to be crumbs around your, you know,

• 53:31Speaker 01

  you shouldn't have fucking salami residue on your lips when you're taking sips of wine.

• 53:35H. Foley?

  What's the point, though?

• 53:36Speaker 01

  I don't know, I'm just saying.

• 53:38H. Foley?

  What's the point?

• 53:39Speaker 01

  I'm covered in peanut butter right now, I don't know.

• 53:41H. Foley?

  I like when it's all mixed up in there. It turns into something else, like they said in Rat That Dewey. We've said it a million times on this program. That's what it's all about.

• 53:49Speaker 01

  That's what it's all about.

• 53:51H. Foley?

  What?

• 53:54H. Foley?

  Who's that?

• 53:54Speaker 01

  Kelly Clarkson.

• 53:55H. Foley?

  No, it's not.

• 53:56Speaker 01

  Her first hit.

• 53:57H. Foley?

  That's what it's all about. You put your left foot in, you put your right foot in, that thing?

• 54:02Speaker 01

  Uh-huh. You put your salami in, you take a cracker out, you put your tongue in there...

• 54:06H. Foley?

  What's that called, the snoopy? Hold on. The hokey pokey.

• 54:09Speaker 01

  Uh-huh. Man, there's a, there's a video of my Uncle Pat doing the hokey pokey at a...

• 54:14H. Foley?

  I thought that, that sucked from jump.

• 54:15Speaker 01

  At Sarah's like communion party, so it's like Sarah, Catherine, and Jenny all had their first Holy Communion at the same time. Was that like a roller skater, or was it, it was at like a...

• 54:24H. Foley?

  That must've been a thousand people.

• 54:26Speaker 01

  Elks lot, oh, so many people. They had their graduation parties.

• 54:29H. Foley?

  Three girls communion?

• 54:30Speaker 01

  It's crazy. My Uncle Pat, I don't know, he's gonna text me when he hears this, or the boy's gonna text him. I think he might have had a couple in him, but he's probably, if Sarah's eight, he's fucking twenty.

• 54:43H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 54:43Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? He's like, young guy, and this is the eighties. So he's got like the white tank top on, tucked into the jeans.

• 54:53H. Foley?

  The white tank top? That's what he wore to his christening, or the communion?

• 54:58Speaker 01

  Uh huh, it's the summertime.

• 55:00H. Foley?

  He wore a tank top in church?

• 55:02Speaker 01

  No, not at church, it's at the, it's at the party.

• 55:05H. Foley?

  No, I know, but you go to the party right after the-

• 55:06Speaker 01

  I don't think he went to the, I don't think he went to church.

• 55:09H. Foley?

  Man, you're skipping the church on a communion?

• 55:11Speaker 01

  I think most people did. The communion was probably just for close. I mean, there's probably two hundred people at this, the VFW or wherever we were at.

• 55:18H. Foley?

  Gotcha.

• 55:18Speaker 01

  And they were doing a hokey pokey. And he's on like our, this is why we don't have family video. I think this was the first one, and this came out, and everybody said, yo, fucking, this is bad, we're gonna get fucking jammed up.

• 55:30H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 55:30Speaker 01

  Uh.

• 55:31H. Foley?

  We got a couple of tapes.

• 55:32Speaker 01

  He's in the high socks with like the high like, you know, he looks like he's in fucking white man can't jump.

• 55:40Speaker 01

  And he's, I think he's doing the hokey pokey, and like, yeah, I was just like, that was the last time any dude danced at any sort of family function, and he's, that's the last time any Sullivan hit the dance floor.

• 55:51H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 55:52Speaker 01

  He was having a good time with the kids, but I think I razzed for it if I remember. I remember, that's, I have that memory.

• 55:57H. Foley?

  I do a, uh, Rosie, what's that, um?

• 56:00Speaker 01

  Rosie Posey?

• 56:01H. Foley?

  No, pocketful of, wait, wait.

• 56:03Speaker 01

  Red Rover, Red Rover.

• 56:05H. Foley?

  I used to like that.

• 56:06Speaker 01

  Team Rover. Fucking take out a, take out a bunch of fucking eight year olds.

• 56:14Speaker 01

  Saint Henry over here nominating yourself.

• 56:16H. Foley?

  Getting snapped.

• 56:17Speaker 01

  Ah!

• 56:21H. Foley?

  Ah! Um, ring around the rosie. What is all that shit?

• 56:27Speaker 01

  Pocketful of Posey.

• 56:28H. Foley?

  That shit that fucking evil clown seduce it down to the sewers with.

• 56:31Speaker 01

  What?

• 56:32H. Foley?

  Yeah. It, that's got real deary vibes.

• 56:35Speaker 01

  Um.

• 56:36H. Foley?

  I keep seeing clips of that shit. God, is that the same dude?

• 56:39Speaker 03

  Well, you know that that song refers to like the Black Death plague in London.

• 56:43H. Foley?

  What?

• 56:44Speaker 03

  Ring around the rosies, pocketful of posies, ashes, ashes, we all fall down. It's like, it's all like, uh, about kind of like the Victorian era, and yeah, it's, uh-

• 56:56Speaker 01

  What's a Posey?

• 56:57Speaker 03

  I believe it was something they would put like on the dead people. Like a flower.

• 57:01H. Foley?

  What the fuck is that?

• 57:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:03H. Foley?

  First of all, that song's from fucking the seventeen hundreds?

• 57:06Speaker 03

  Something like that, yeah.

• 57:07H. Foley?

  That's never getting sung in my house again. I don't care who the kid is.

• 57:10Speaker 01

  Oh, I thought you and Patty were doing it. Okay.

• 57:13H. Foley?

  That's scary.

• 57:14Speaker 01

  I didn't like London Bridges either.

• 57:15H. Foley?

  No.

• 57:16Speaker 01

  Sounds like a national tragedy. Bridge fell down. I hope it wasn't rush hour.

• 57:24Speaker 01

  How many people perished and were singing about this?

• 57:27H. Foley?

  It didn't fall down. It's fine. I seen it. Nah, I never saw it on TV.

• 57:32Speaker 01

  And the song had fallen. London Bridge is falling down. Not just once, falling down.

• 57:37H. Foley?

  That's gotta be something against the matriarchy or patriarchy.

• 57:40Speaker 01

  See if you can get that. And also, singing about the G W B, is it fucking America?

• 57:44H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 57:45Speaker 01

  Singing about these fucking redcoats?

• 57:46H. Foley?

  I don't like that.

• 57:47Speaker 01

  Hello?

• 57:47H. Foley?

  Not doing nursery rhymes about fucking the Twin Towers.

• 57:50Speaker 01

  They might be, huh? Certain parts of the mid-east.

• 57:55Speaker 01

  Couple of guys on monkey bars, I'm sure got a few tunes around.

• 57:59H. Foley?

  Hey, talking about the Greeks?

• 58:01Speaker 03

  Uh...

• 58:02H. Foley?

  Hold on. Tell, please.

• 58:03Speaker 03

  How come every time I come around my London, London Bridge?

• 58:07Speaker 01

  That turns me on. That gets me going.

• 58:09Speaker 03

  Have you seen that music video?

• 58:10H. Foley?

  I like American.

• 58:10Speaker 01

  Maybe that's why. I can't recall, but maybe that's why. Is it Fergie?

• 58:13Speaker 03

  Fergie at her peak.

• 58:14Speaker 01

  Man, Fergie at her peak.

• 58:15H. Foley?

  You know there was a girl before Fergie?

• 58:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:18H. Foley?

  It was all like political and stuff like that?

• 58:19Speaker 01

  Yeah. We've seen that TikTok, yeah.

• 58:23H. Foley?

  Uh-huh.

• 58:24Speaker 01

  That LA Reid got his hands on it.

• 58:26H. Foley?

  Yeah, play ball.

• 58:27Speaker 01

  LA Reid's gotta have all the money in the world.

• 58:30H. Foley?

  Probably does well.

• 58:31Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 58:31Speaker 03

  Uh, London Bridge is about the related, repeated collapse and rebuilding of the London Bridge.

• 58:37Speaker 01

  Jesus Christ, I was joking, but I was right.

• 58:39H. Foley?

  I know. That Rosie Posey song freaks me out now.

• 58:41Speaker 01

  These, these Brits gotta fucking, that's...

• 58:44H. Foley?

  Get me a timestamp on that.

• 58:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, let me. Uh, it's, I think it's, I think popular culture might have like redone it and like...

• 58:52Speaker 01

  More fit?

• 58:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, made it about that, but uh, let me find a little more detail.

• 58:55H. Foley?

  Little freaky fucking British kids, fucking dancing around your body as you're laying there and fucking, all fucked up.

• 59:03Speaker 03

  Mid-nineteenth century song, so eighteen hundreds.

• 59:06Speaker 01

  What the fuck are you talking about?

• 59:07H. Foley?

  Is that when the plague was?

• 59:09Speaker 03

  No, I believe the plague was seventeen something.

• 59:11H. Foley?

  God damn it. No old songs like that. I can't even listen to those songs, like, you know, like from, like, I can't.

• 59:20Speaker 01

  Nothing, nothing before the sticks.

• 59:26H. Foley?

  Russian newer. I love the name Sticks.

• 59:30Speaker 01

  Such a funny name.

• 59:34H. Foley?

  You got Sticks tickets. That's from something. I don't know what it is. I got Sticks tickets.

• 59:40Speaker 01

  It was Big Daddy. Sandler loves the sticks. Sandman, hit me up. Timothy Chalamet, call me.

• 59:47H. Foley?

  None of that crap. Listen, I know it's historical, but the stuff from like the depression on. That sounds like it was-

• 59:56Speaker 01

  Talk about the worst somewhere ever, huh?

• 59:58H. Foley?

  It was recorded in a can. None of that stuff.

• 1:00:01Speaker 01

  Okay. Nothing with, nothing where people had soot on them.

• 1:00:05H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:06Speaker 01

  That's a good rule.

• 1:00:06H. Foley?

  When people wore like, they would wear like a wolf mask and stuff like that, like creepy pictures.

• 1:00:11Speaker 01

  What are you talking about?

• 1:00:12H. Foley?

  You know what I'm talking about.

• 1:00:13Speaker 01

  I don't know what you're talking about.

• 1:00:14H. Foley?

  Any of that stuff.

• 1:00:16Speaker 01

  The Ring Around the Rosie describes a symptom such as the red ring rashes, uh, or red inflammation that occurred on the skin during this time.

• 1:00:24H. Foley?

  Who the fuck wrote that? How'd that get, how'd that get on the air? That's crazy. Yes, we'll sing Ring Around the Rosie. It's like that thing from fucking Sinister would be singing that. Also, you ever see Sinister when they do that, uh-

• 1:00:38Speaker 01

  Well, they got all those fucking, they got the boners and stuff in the Disney movies. We're, we're, we ain't no better.

• 1:00:45H. Foley?

  That's all the twenties and thirties too.

• 1:00:46Speaker 01

  Fucking freaks.

• 1:00:48H. Foley?

  No, I'm talking about Sinister. It's the, the Little Tim movie, the Little Tim song, Tiny Tim.

• 1:00:53Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:00:57H. Foley?

  That's playing in hell or wherever the fuck that-

• 1:00:59Speaker 01

  I don't know what that is.

• 1:01:00H. Foley?

  You never seen Sinister?

• 1:01:01Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:01:02H. Foley?

  You would never sleep again.

• 1:01:03Speaker 01

  Has a tiptoe through the windows, through the windows. From the windows to the walls. Till the sweat drop down my balls. Oh, you bitches crawl.

• 1:01:13H. Foley?

  I'm gonna wear my dogs at. Fuck all that old shit. It's scary.

• 1:01:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't do none of that. I'm sure my wife's gonna put some fucking Krampus style shit. She's gonna be singing some fucking medieval.

• 1:01:25H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:25Speaker 01

  You know?

• 1:01:26H. Foley?

  Some German fable about the wolves eating the kids? Get out of here with that shit, man.

• 1:01:31Speaker 01

  They do something where they stick-

• 1:01:32H. Foley?

  That's how you guys got all jammed up.

• 1:01:33Speaker 01

  They stick their shoes out in the hallway. I go, no one's coming, we're not doing it.

• 1:01:38H. Foley?

  Why?

• 1:01:39Speaker 01

  Some Krampus comes and puts candies in there or something like that.

• 1:01:42H. Foley?

  That wolf thing?

• 1:01:43Speaker 01

  Or steals your shoes. I don't know. I don't listen to this, bro. I said, this is America. You bring your shoes inside the house.

• 1:01:51H. Foley?

  That's fucked up.

• 1:01:53Speaker 01

  And if somebody wants to come and steal your shoes, that might be a sex crime.

• 1:01:57H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, fuck that thing for defeat.

• 1:02:00H. Foley?

  See how Crampers does with a fucking 12 gauge.

• 1:02:03Speaker 01

  Fucking shoot the fair one in the hallway with me. Who the fuck buzzed you in?

• 1:02:10H. Foley?

  Said you were the UPS man, you lying piece of shit.

• 1:02:15H. Foley?

  You might be with your fangs out, trying to have dinner in here. He's gotta bang his throat.

• 1:02:21Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, um, we gotta wrap it up though, gang.

• 1:02:26H. Foley?

  What a fun one.

• 1:02:27Speaker 01

  What a, what a goofy one.

• 1:02:28H. Foley?

  Gang, we hope you had a happy holiday season. We love yous very much and, uh, we'll see you next week. Peace.