Start with Yourself: Change Your Mindset, Change Your Life

If you’ve ever felt stuck, like no matter how hard you work, something’s holding you back, it’s probably not your talent or your hustle. It’s your mindset. In this solo episode, Emma Grede reveals how mastering your mind is the ultimate unlock for success, confidence, and peace of mind. She shares the exact mindset tools she’s used to build businesses, overcome fear, and turn self-doubt into fuel for growth. Plus, Emma announces her brand-new book, Start with Yourself, coming in 2026—a guide to building the mindset that changes everything. In this episode, you’ll learn how to: -Reprogram negative self-talk and handle haters with strength -Turn failure into feedback and fear into action -Build daily habits that wire your brain for success -Use visualization, gratitude, and self-compassion to level up -Celebrate your wins and protect your energy If you’re ready to stop holding yourself back and start building a mindset that works for you—not against you—this episode is where it all begins. Preorder Start with Yourself wherever books are sold, and share this episode with someone who’s ready to transform their life from the inside out.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:10Emma Grede?

  Hi my darlings and welcome back to the Aspire Podcast. I am so glad you're here today because I have so much to share with you, including a big announcement that I'll reveal in just a moment.

• 0:24Speaker 01

  Our presenting sponsor today is Anthropic, the team behind Claude. Anthropic is a research company first, built to make sure the transition to powerful AI goes well. When they launched Claude in 2023, its first users were businesses. Since then, it's been tested inside leading startups and enterprises. At DoorDash, a code migration that would have taken four engineers months to complete, took one person three weeks. At Carvana, one team used to hunt through old tickets and code to answer a question. With Claude, they get answers 65% faster. And at Rakuten, engineers have achieved 99.9% accuracy on tough coding jobs using Claude.

• 1:06Speaker 01

  Today, nine Fortune 10 companies run on Claude for the work they want to get right. And these businesses are helping Anthropic shape what comes next. Build your business with support from Claude at claude.ai/odyssey.

• 1:25Emma Grede?

  Let's get right into today's episode. What I want to dig into today is how you can reach your full potential and achieve lasting success. The truth is, most people don't. And it's not because they aren't smart or talented or hardworking. It's because they never learned how to master their mindset. Now, I know this because I've lived it. I've worked jobs that I hated. I've dreamed endlessly of something more. And it wasn't until I realized that everything starts with yourself and your mind that my life truly started to change. And here's the good news, you can actually do the same. And over the next 30 minutes, I'm going to give you the tools to rewire your thoughts, to quiet your negative self-talk, handle

• 2:10Emma Grede?

  Your haters and train your mind to create the success that you want. This is how you turn your mindset into your superpower. Now, before we dive in, I have to tell you, today isn't any old day. Today, I've got a big announcement, a huge announcement, in fact. Um, the announcement is that I wrote a book and it will be out next year. It's called Start With Yourself. This book is for anyone who's seeking success on their own terms. And honestly, I wanted to write it to share with you all what I believe is the central theme of my life. Call it a philosophy, call it a mindset, call it a tool, call it whatever you like. But when I landed this title, nothing has ever felt more true for me. Learning to always start with yourself is the theme of this book.

• 2:55Emma Grede?

  And it's going to really give you the tools and the mindset to unlock your full potential. This book is a blueprint to my mindset and how I think about business and in life. It's structured in easy takeaways, so you can immediately apply my philosophy to whatever you're trying to build and create. It's not about prescribed actions, do this, do that. It's about a way of thinking. The book is about creating a mindset, an overall system of thought that manages and clarifies ideas. And it points the way to the right next step while always, always staying positive. It's about gathering yourself after failure. It's about being accountable, but it's also about forgiving yourself.

• 3:38Emma Grede?

  It's about never expecting shortcuts, never being shy about grabbing things when they appear in front of you. And it's about pushing hard for the wins and never ever apologising for being a winner. In this book, I'm going to share my secrets. I'm going to reveal the hard-fought truths, no bullshit allowed, and the lessons collected during my twenty-year journey. I'm going to explain how, against all the odds, success can be achieved and sustained. Because it's not magic and I'm telling you, you can do it too. It's going to be out in the spring twenty twenty six and you can preorder now wherever books are sold. I cannot wait for you to get your hands on it. It's a lot for me to take on. Okay, so here we go.

• 4:21Emma Grede?

  Back to business mindset. Now, it doesn't matter what job you do, whether you're climbing the corporate ladder, if you work in a hospital, in a restaurant, if you're dreaming of starting a business, or if you're thinking that you want to make some extra cash with a side hustle. But I really believe that our success is directly linked to our mindset. For all the successful people we think about, from entrepreneurs to athletes to artists, mindset is the invisible force behind what separates those who rise to the top and those who stall. Mindset shapes how you see yourself, how you face challenges, how you deal with uncertainty, our daily habits. And we all know how I feel about habits.

• 5:03Emma Grede?

  The mindset that you have can literally rewire your brain. And all success starts in the mind. And you can shape that starting today. So the question becomes, can you change your mindset? What if I told you you can engineer success? You can learn to deal with the haters. You can learn to cope better with negative thoughts. You can train your mind to think positive and not BS toxic positivity, but real shit that will help you become successful. Get comfy, because in the next 20 minutes, I'm going to spill the tea on the way you will actually master your mindset. So let's begin. We hear the word mindset thrown around all the time. But let me give you a clear definition for what it is

• 5:49Emma Grede?

  and why it's so important so that we're all on the same page. Your mindset by definition is your established set of attitudes, beliefs and ways of thinking that shape how you interpret the world. It's how you respond to situations and how you make decisions. Pretty important stuff. So you really, really want to be in charge of it. Think about your mindset as a garden. Whatever you plant, whether it's weeds of negativity or seeds of growth, they will take root, grow and shape the environment that you live in. You have to be intentional about what you plant and what you pull out. And one thing I know is that it's all within you. It's Starts with yourself. See how I did that?

• 6:30Emma Grede?

  I know for me that the attitude I bring into my office and to my team and to the people I work with every day, that is what has helped shape and determine my success. So I want you to take a minute and have a think about what attitude you bring into every day? And what is that manifesting for you? And I want you to share this episode with anyone that you think could benefit from hearing this too. Because what I'm going to take you through, if taken seriously, will change your life. Now, remember that your mindset influences your behaviour, your resilience, and ultimately the outcomes in your life and your business. And I know there's going to be so many people that listen to this podcast that have a really, really

• 7:14Emma Grede?

  difficult life, difficult circumstances. You might hate your job, you might be in debt, you might be struggling to get where you want in life, and things are not easy or quick to change. But that's your reality. And trust me, I know, I've been there. I've worked every crappy job imaginable and dreamed of a different life. But it wasn't until I took full responsibility for my life that everything changed. What I'm a hundred percent sure of is that mastering your mindset will change the way you relate to everything in your life. It will change the way you see things and your ability to handle what life throws at you. Something that's really helped me understand how mindset works is this framework from Carol Dweck. There are two types of mindsets.

• 7:56Emma Grede?

  A fixed mindset where you believe that your abilities and intelligence are static and unchangeable. You know, when you say things like, um, I'm just not good at math, I'm bad with money. We can all recognise that in ourselves or other people we know, right? Then there's the gross mindset, when you believe that your abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort and through learning. As an example, I can get better at math if I practise. I've taught myself to be one hundred percent responsible for my finances. That right there is a gross mindset. And by the way, here's a little tip. If you haven't read Mindset by Carol Dweck, you need to go out and immediately buy that book. It's one of my favourites.

• 8:38Emma Grede?

  And if you happen to be Carol Dweck and you haven't seen my emails or my calls, call me love because I'd really love to have you on the podcast. So here's how I like to think about mindset. A very, very wise woman once told me, the most important relationship you'll ever have is the relationship you have with yourself. And that's stuck with me for so many reasons, but mostly because we all have a conversation going on with ourselves daily. And you've heard the quote, what you think you become. On my other favourite, what you tell yourself repeatedly becomes your life. It's so true. So this episode is about making your mindset a superpower. And the first step to change is to understand what your baseline mindset actually is.

• 9:23Emma Grede?

  You might have an optimistic mindset, a defensive mindset, a pessimistic mindset. But it's key that you understand your baseline so that you can begin to shift it. So pause for a second and write it down. What is my baseline mindset? Be honest. Are you optimistic, pessimistic, defensive, whatever it is, that's okay. But make that your starting point. And then it's really important to figure out when the mindset you have, the mindset you've adopted no longer serves you. And the most amazing news is that it's completely within your power to change it. You just have to make a decision and get serious about that decision. And then use some of the tools that I'm going to show you to make a big, big change.

• 10:06Emma Grede?

  So ask yourself, when challenges show up, what's my first instinct? Do I see them as opportunities or as threats? Do my daily thought patterns build me up or tear me down? Am I more focused on what's possible or what could go wrong? And does my mindset energise me or does it drain me? If I stayed in this same mindset for the next five years, where would it take me? That's a big question. It's a really big question. And most importantly, does my current mindset align with the life I actually want to create? Just write it all down. Ask yourself those questions. And if your honest answers don't feel empowering, that right there, that's your signal that it's time for a shift.

• 10:50Emma Grede?

  So take a minute to jot down one question from that list, the one that hit you the hardest. And if you feel bold, text that question, the one that hit you the hardest to a friend or share it with someone who needs to hear it too.

• 11:12Emma Grede?

  So, here we go. The first tool that I want to talk to you about is the power of dreams, or what I've come to understand as creative visualisation. Now, as a kid, and still now, I am a daydreamer. I've always spent a lot of time playing in my head with what I wanted to see in my future. Two things happened to me to make me understand why creative visualisation is really real. I read a seminal book about it in my twenties, and then later I visited the Hoffman Retreat. I did daily visualisations and I've kept it as part of my routine because it works and the benefits of creative visualisation are huge. Now, before you think I'm a little off here, it's not magic.

• 11:57Emma Grede?

  Visualisation doesn't replace action, but it does fuel it. When you practise this technique, it is a game changer. It can boost motivation and clarity. It increases your confidence and your focus. It's actually proven to help reduce anxiety and fear. Creative visualisation can rewire limiting beliefs or mental blocks. And here's the absolute best part. It actually primes your brain to notice opportunities all around you. So as I mentioned, I learned this technique after reading the most amazing book. It's called Creative Visualisation by Shakthi Guane. The premise is exactly what it sounds like.

• 12:39Emma Grede?

  You use your imagination to create vivid, detailed images of the outcomes you want to achieve. It's like mentally rehearsing your ideal future, tapping into your brain's ability to influence your emotion, your focus, your motivation, and even your behaviour through imagery. Now, you've probably heard about athletes that use this technique, where they mentally run a race and they visualise themselves like moving down the track, crossing the line and winning. Well, the same technique can be used for anything that you want to achieve in your life. When you vividly imagine something, your brain responds almost as if it's happening for real. And that activates neural pathways, making your goals feel more achievable and aligned with

• 13:23Emma Grede?

  your subconscious. So if you've never tried this before, why not? I'm going to teach you my step by step to get in started. So first you have to have an intention. Decide exactly what you want to visualize. This could be a really specific goal, like you want to start your own business. It could be that you want to give a great presentation in the office. It could be a feeling that you want to have, but you need a concrete example for your intention. Then you want to find some solitude, a bit of quiet space. And just as you would with meditation, you're going to sit down somewhere, very calm. Close your eyes, breathe slowly and deeply, completely relax yourself. And I want you to do that for five or 10 minutes.

• 14:07Emma Grede?

  Then what I want you to do is to paint a mental picture as if your intention, the thing that you want is already happening. And that part is really important. You need to be clear with what you see, what you feel, what's around you, what are you here? You need to make your visualization the most detailed possible. It's going to help your brain believe that what you're doing at like so much more deeply. You have to really feel the emotions, feel the thing that's happening to you. Like, how would you feel in the moment that your wish is actually happening? Now, after you try this exercise, you need to write it down, exactly what you visualize and how it feels as though it's already happened.

• 14:52Emma Grede?

  Because seeing it on paper will make it feel even more real. You let that feeling sink in and you really imagine what it feels like. And the last thing you need to do is reinforce it with repetition. You need to repeat your visualization daily, even if it's only for a few minutes. It can be first thing in the morning, it can be before you go to sleep. But over time, your brain will start to align your thoughts and your actions and your focus. The most important thing for you to take out here is this, it's seeing plus feeling plus repeating. Imagine your goal is already real. Feel it emotionally and repeat it consistently with the most clarity and confidence that you can muster.

• 15:36Emma Grede?

  The next technique that I want to talk about is training your mind to think positively. Now, listen, I want to be clear that training your mind to think positively is different from positive thinking. I am allergic to toxic positivity. I cannot take it when people try to light up a situation that is shit. I will never, ever, ever ask you to do that. But I have been thinking long and hard about what exactly in my own life impacts my positive thinking the most. Because if you're listening to this podcast, you want strategies, you want takeouts, you want things that you can apply immediately. So this is what it boils down to for me, three things. Number one, the first thing and probably the most important is understanding this.

• 16:21Emma Grede?

  You become the average of the company you keep. I'll say it again, you become the average of the company you keep. So you have to be super intentional about being around supportive, optimistic people that actually improve your outlook. Successful people, people that are trying shit, people that have big dreams and are intelligent and open minded and those that are striving to be better. Negative environments, negative people, bad relationships, they pull you downwards. One of the greatest things we can do for ourselves as we get older is take responsibility. Remember, I'm the start with yourself girl, which means taking control and sometimes making changes

• 17:04Emma Grede?

  and doing like a little check of who you're surrounding yourself with is the best place to start and put your energy. I feel like every couple of years I have a reset, I look around me and I figure out who's net positive in my life and who could I do without, and then I shed. Sometimes, honestly, I wonder, given everything that I know, how I even end up with people that drain my energy. But it happens and the important thing is that you recognize it and you move away from it quickly. Number two, consumption matters. Now, if you know me and if you follow me, you know that I work hard to make sure that what comes into my world and what comes out of me is positive. Because I know that consumption matters.

• 17:49Emma Grede?

  Your attention is your most valuable cognitive resource. What you give to, what you give power to, even the words that you regularly hear and you read, they influence you massively. Maybe you've got a friend who's like doom scrolling too much, or someone that just, you know, over indulges in the gossip, like in the worst ways. You need to share this episode with them because it could help shift their energy. So think about it, what's the one thing that you're consuming daily that lifts you up? And what's the one thing that you know that's draining you? And then you need to write it down so that you can act on it. Because your brain is constantly rewiring itself in response to what you pay attention to.

• 18:31Emma Grede?

  And over time, this reshapes how you think. Your thought patterns shift. What you believe about yourself and about the world, what you feel, your emotions and your moods, and how you act, your behaviours and your habits. It's all constantly shifting. Remember, every time you consume information, whether it's educational, emotional or entertaining, you're training your brain to strengthen those related neural pathways. We all know that constant comparison on social media actually lowers your self-esteem and it triggers insecurity. All of us have felt that. So you've got to balance that with purposeful, good stuff.

• 19:11Emma Grede?

  Listen, repeated exposure to fear-based news, it trains your brain to expect danger and that just increases your anxiety. Whereas repeated exposure to uplifting, solution-oriented content, that strengthens your hope, gives you creativity and it gives you resilience. Books that inspire you and expand your mind, they challenge your assumptions and they improve your ability to think well. Every single morning, I post a quote. I post it out to my followers on social media. But make no mistake, that quote is as much for me as it is for anyone else. I also read all the time. I usually have like two or three books going all at once.

• 19:52Emma Grede?

  But what I choose to read, again, that's about my growth and my learning and the things that I'm going to find motivating and inspirational. And it has a massive, massive impact on my ability to stay positive because I plan it that way and you should too. So I have made it a habit to consume one positive, meaningful or uplifting thing every day. It could be a podcast that inspires you. I know a great one, of course. And it could be a book, an article on growth, a spiritual or philosophical passage that means something to you. Could be a five-minute motivational talk on YouTube. My favorites are the Steve Jobs Stanford commencement speech and also the famous Admiral

• 20:37Emma Grede?

  William McRavens Make Your Bed speech. I love that one so much, I even made my kids watch it. But this works because just like food, your mindset actually reflects what you feed it. The third thing that makes the biggest shift to your ability to stay positive, and you've likely heard this one before, but I had to include it because it's so big, is gratitude. Gratitude changes the brain. Gratitude practice has proven scientific benefits that directly improve your mindset. They do it by reshaping how your brain processes thoughts, emotions and stress. And it's one of the simplest, yet most powerful tools for fostering a more positive, resilient and growth-oriented way of thinking.

• 21:22Emma Grede?

  That's what you need to be successful. It really does it in the most simple way. It shifts you from a focus on what you don't have to a focus on what you do have. And when you orientate your thinking that way, you will feel better. And that is what we all want.

• 21:42Speaker 02

  Today's episode is sponsored by NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast. Personal finance can feel like a pop quiz you didn't study for. This podcast is your study guide. On NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast, you'll hear from trusted journalists who explain the why behind major financial decisions. You'll get research-backed insights and clear pros and cons, whether you're planning a big purchase or just want to grow your wealth. Make your next financial move with confidence. Follow NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast on your favorite podcast app.

• 22:12Speaker 03

  Hi, everyone. This is Kara Swisher.

• 22:14Speaker 04

  And I'm Scott Galloway.

• 22:15Speaker 03

  And we want to tell you about Pivot, our twice-weekly podcast.

• 22:18Speaker 04

  That's right, Kara. What a thrill. It's a chance for us to break down all the big things happening in tech, business, and politics.

• 22:25Speaker 03

  Yes, and I keep you in check so people can make it through each episode, whether it's digging into constant changes in the world of AI and social media, or trying to keep up with whatever the fuck Elon is doing. We're here to give you our take on all of that.

• 22:36Speaker 04

  Every Tuesday and Friday morning, we drop a new episode about some of the major stories of the moment.

• 22:42Speaker 03

  And Scott is a prediction machine, gazing into his crystal ball to tell you about where it's all heading.

• 22:47Speaker 04

  That's right.

• 22:48Speaker 03

  So if that sounds like a good time for you, especially Mr. "That's right," you can follow us on your favorite podcast app to get new episodes every week.

• 23:05Emma Grede?

  Now, I want to talk to you about how to deal with the inevitable negative thoughts and how you can reduce stress and those negative thought loops. Negative thoughts are actually part of being human, and what matters most is how skillfully and kindly you respond to them. I've recently had Dr. Tara Swar on the podcast, and she put it so simply for us. She said, "Talk to yourself like you talk to a best friend." And my point of view is this: You don't need to eliminate negative thoughts. You just need to create enough space and enough awareness to stop believing every one of them. Now, in my late teens and in my early twenties, I went to therapy. I still do.

• 23:50Emma Grede?

  And the biggest simple takeout for me was learning how to separate myself from all of my thoughts. Every day, and still to this day, it's something that I think about. I understood whatever I was thinking was exactly that. It was just a thought and I could create distance between myself and the thought. The book that helped me clarify this the most is The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer. And you have to replace some of your language. Why is this happening to me? And you replace it with, what is this showing me? That single shift can move you from victim to student. You'll go from overwhelmed, totally stressed out to empowered.

• 24:32Emma Grede?

  I have a couple of other tried and tested ways that I deal with negative thought loops. I try to focus on one win per day. I set a tiny goal, could be an email I need to send, a corner that I need to clean, a walk that I need to go on, whatever it is. But at the day end, I write it down and I acknowledge it. And it works because when you complete something small, that creates dopamine, which actually helps break the stuck mindset and it builds self-trust. Here's another like super easy one. I try to connect with actual people. I do this all the time. I'll call one of my sisters, I'll call one of my friends in London, I'll chat to someone in the office.

• 25:18Emma Grede?

  And honestly, that works because human connection reduces cortisol. It increases oxytocin and it reminds your brain that you are not alone. Another little one, when Jay Shetty came to this podcast, he taught us his five, four, three, two, one method. And it works so well, I've been using it non-stop. So here's how it goes. When you're spiraling, you stop and you focus on five things that you see. Four things that you feel, three things that you hear, two things that you smell and one thing that you taste. And it works because it anchors you in the present moment and deactivates the fight or flight responses.

• 26:00Emma Grede?

  So these are a few things that seem so small, but if you start to implement them, you're going to see a noticeable difference in how you process any negativity that comes up. So next up, it's learning to ignore the haters. I believe it was Nicki Minaj who once wisely said, "They need rappers like me so they can get on their keyboards and make me the bad guy." Haters will always find something to say, but that says more about them than about you. And listen, she was right. Now, I told you I'm allergic to toxic positivity. We have to learn to do better and create coping strategies when our own mind is creating negative thought loops for us. Sometimes these bitches are out here and they be hating.

• 26:45Emma Grede?

  So the lovely people that listen to the Aspire with Emmergreen podcast, they know that these people, those with the pessimistic and the negative mindset, they're not our people. But we still have to learn to deal with them. Learning to live with haters isn't about being cold or being indifferent or pretending they're not there. It's actually about building mental strength, self-awareness and emotional boundaries so that you don't let other people's opinion own your energy or your worth. Now, you can use what people might say about you in many, many ways. But this is what I do. I ask the question, is it feedback or fuel? Is the criticism useful? Can you grow from it?

• 27:28Emma Grede?

  And listen, sometimes it is useful. Great, then use it. And sometimes it's just noise, it's just jealousy or ignorance. Let it burn out on its own, but don't spend days and weeks and months ruminating on it. It's not your stuff, it belongs to someone else. Mentally park it where it belongs, not in your house, over there, somewhere else. Not everyone's opinion deserves your attention. You have to build, and this is one that I really love, you have to build a circle of credibility. And I really strongly suggest you do this so that you can decipher whose opinion matters and whose just doesn't. Who's doing what you aspire to? Who truly knows you? Who gives you feedback with love and intelligence?

• 28:13Emma Grede?

  Those are the ones whose opinion matters. And if they're not in the arena with you, honestly, their voice just doesn't get priority. Remember, you do not need to be liked by everyone, but you do need to be loyal to yourself. You can't stop people hating, but you can decide what to do with it. So, let's talk about something that keeps a lot of talented, brilliant, capable people stuck. The fear of failure. Now, if you've ever felt paralyzed by the thought of getting it wrong, or not being enough, or falling short, you are not alone. Fear of failure isn't weakness, it's incredibly human. One of the quotes I love is, "There is no failure, only feedback."

• 28:58Emma Grede?

  It's a Robert Allen quote, and I just, I just love it, and I constantly go back to it. According to research, there are four key reasons why so many women experience a deeper or more complex emotional response to failure compared to men. These aren't about personal weakness, they're about conditioning, culture, and context. First off, social conditioning starts early in our lives. We all know girls are far too often praised for being good, not for being bold. From childhood, many, many girls are rewarded for perfection, politeness, and for avoiding risk. We're criticised more harshly for mistakes, and we're taught to seek approval and avoid risk-taking and rocking the boat.

• 29:43Emma Grede?

  So failure isn't just about getting something wrong, it can feel like a loss of worth or identity. Then second, we've internalised perfectionism. Dr Bernay Brown says perfectionism is one of the biggest barriers to female leaderships. Imagine that. So many of us women are socially conditioned to tie our value to how well we perform and avoid errors at all costs. This, as you well know, leads to overthinking, fear of starting, obsessing over every detail, taking failure more personally than constructively. Sounds familiar, no? This isn't just a personality trait, though. It's a survival strategy in environments where women have to prove themselves more.

• 30:27Emma Grede?

  Third, women have a greater fear of judgment. For a good reason. It's not made up in your head, ladies. According to the Harvard Business Review, women are actually more likely to be punished socially for failure than men, especially in leadership roles. Failure is often seen as a learning opportunity for men, but it's a credibility issue for women. This really, really pisses me off. But this double standard leads women to fear of losing respect, authority, or reputation. And then we internalize failure as confirmation of other people's doubts, and we stay quiet instead of owning or learning from the loss.

• 31:08Emma Grede?

  Ultimately, this creates more pressure and more fear around even small setbacks. All of this and so many other factors creates an unconscious belief. If I fail, I'll prove I don't belong here. They'll never give me another shot. Lastly, failure feels more personal for women than situational. Women are more likely to attribute failure to internal flaws, men to external factors. If a man fails at a pitch, he says, "This client wasn't ready." If a woman fails, it's, "I didn't prepare well enough. I should have done better." This difference in attribution style leads women to carry heavier emotional burdens, even when they're not at fault. So what do we do about this?

• 31:52Emma Grede?

  As someone who's failed a lot, let me offer the benefit of my experience because it's something that I've stopped doing because that fear isn't useful to get ahead and meet my goals. It just isn't. The first thing I want you to do is almost go back to the start of this podcast. Visualize failing and handling it. I promise you, it really works. I want you to detach your worth from the outcome. I want you to redefine. Failure as data, not defeat. And here's a hack, the next time something goes wrong, you can ask, what is this teaching me? What worked? What would I do differently? And then you have to move on. You have to reframe, what if I fail into what if I don't try?

• 32:35Emma Grede?

  And you ask yourself, what is the cost of playing small? What's the cost of staying where I am? And remember, you guys know what I'm gonna say. If you play small, you stay small. It's not my quote, but it is one that I absolutely love. Now, if someone you love is holding back because of fear, please, please, please share this episode with them because it might just be the push that they need. One of the reasons I actually decided to do this podcast is to lift the lids on all the things that make us successful and failure is actually one of them. It's a growth step, it's not judgment. We need to make sure that we share more stories around women that overcome failure.

• 33:18Emma Grede?

  But most of all, you have to train your mind into self compassion and resilience. Address the perfectionism that lives inside you through doing coaching and therapy and a lot of self work. And what I want to do is change the culture and build environments for women where failure is okay. Where it's safe and it's totally recoverable because guess what? It is. Here I am, having failed miserably at so many things and I'm alive and still trying. Now, make sure that you remind yourself that women don't struggle with failure because they're weak. They struggle because we've been taught that we're not allowed to fail.

• 33:58Emma Grede?

  We've been conditioned to equate failure with unworthiness rather than evolution. But failure is not proof that you're broken. It's actually just proof that you're trying. And that is where every strong story begins.

• 34:13Emma Grede?

  Now, listen, one final and crucial point that I need you to do is to celebrate your wins. Now, our culture has actually trained us to move really, really quickly. We scroll for information super fast. When we walk down the street, we do it without noticing people around us or the route that we're taking. We hardly even look up when we're checking out of the store to notice the person that's serving us. So it's no wonder that we forget in the haze of our every day and in all of our busyness to celebrate our wins, no matter how big or small they might be. And listen, that has to stop. Celebrating your wins really is crucial for your mindset

• 34:57Emma Grede?

  because it directly reinforces the emotional patterns that help you stay motivated and resilient and confident. When you never pause to celebrate, you fall into this idea of like constant urgency. Nothing really mattering. You get burned out and you get a mindset of nothing ever being enough. But when you pause, when you pause to celebrate a win, even like a little tiny one, your brain releases that dopamine, that motivation and reward chemical, and it builds and connects positive reinforcement for your effort. And you begin to associate those things with satisfaction.

• 35:38Emma Grede?

  Guys, this creates such a powerful loop. You act, you feel good, you wanna act again. Super simple. But without celebration, your brain only notices what's missing or what's wrong, which trains you to focus on lack and not progress. That is not what we're doing here. And remember, we're in training. So when you normalize wins, especially the imperfect ones, you actually take the pressure off of needing every outcome to be huge, to be flawless, to be Instagram worthy. It trains your mind to take more risks, to try more things, and then to bounce back quicker. Celebrating your wins builds a mindset of... Experimentation, not perfectionism.

• 36:20Emma Grede?

  What I want you to do here is enjoy every damn day. You have to learn to stop and smell the roses. Focus on the things that actually matter. Your family, your friends, your loved ones, your progress. You trying something new that you would never, ever, ever have done before. And you've got to pick up and notice all of those little things. It's a total rewire for how you think. And as Oprah says, the more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. So you have to start today. Choose one win, no matter how small, and you celebrate it. Encourage a friend or a family member to do exactly the same because

• 37:01Emma Grede?

  the way you train in your mind to see progress is exactly the way that you'll create more of it. This is how you build momentum. It's how you build confidence and it's how you create a life that you dream of living. So, thank you so much for listening. If you enjoyed this episode and there's someone you could think that could get a lot out of it too, then please share it with them. And don't forget to leave a comment telling me your biggest takeaways from this episode because I really want to hear from you. See you next time and don't forget to always, always bet on yourself.

• 37:40Emma Grede?

  If you're loving this podcast, be sure to click follow on your favourite listening platform. While you're there, give us a review and a five star rating and share an episode you loved with a friend. We'll be so grateful. Aspire with Emma Grede is presented by Odyssey. I'm your host, Emma Grede. Our executive producers are Corinne, Gilliard Fisher, Derek Brown and me. Our executive producers from Odyssey are Maddie Sprung Kaiser, Leah Reese Dennis, Asha Saluja and Jenna Weiss-Berman. Stephen Key is our senior producer. Sound design and engineering by Bill Schultz. Angela Peluso is our booker. Original music by Charles Black. Video production by Evan Cox, Kirk Courtney, Andrew Steele, Carlos Delgado and Arnie Agassi. Social media by Olivia Homann.

• 38:25Emma Grede?

  Special thanks to Brittany Smith. Sydney Ford, my teams at The Lead Company and WME. Maura Curran, Josefina Francis, Hilary Schaff, Eric Donnelly, Kate Hutchinson Rose, Tim Meeke, Shaun Cherry and Lauren Vieira. If you have questions for me, you can DM me at aspirewithemagreed. Greed is spelt G R E D E. That's aspire, A S P I R E with emagreed. Or you can submit a question to me on my website, emagreed.me.