Sophie Rain | Club Random with Bill Maher

Bill Maher sits down with OnlyFans star Sophie Rain, who says she’s made more than $100 million without ever appearing fully nude—and that she’s still a virgin. Naturally, Bill has questions. Sophie breaks down how the business really works, what her fans think they’re paying for, and why the fantasy of a personal connection can be worth so much money. They talk about dating when millions of men are watching, the team answering her messages, and the lines she won’t cross, even for a bigger payday. Sophie also opens up about growing up with parents struggling with addiction, buying them a house, and wanting to use her fortune to rescue animals. Plus, why neither of them wants kids, what makes a great movie hero, and the question on which they strongly disagree: Team Edward or Team Jacob? Subscribe to the Club Random YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/clubrandompodcast?sub_confirmation=1 Watch episodes ad-free – subscribe to Bill Maher’s Substack: https://billmaher.substack.com Subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you listen: ⁠https://bit.ly/ClubRandom Support our Advertisers: Try ZipRecruiter to post your job FOR FREE at http://ziprecruiter.com/RANDOM NOBL gives you real travel peace of mind — security, design, and convenience all in one. Head to https://NOBLTravel.com for 46% off your entire order! Get 15% off OneSkin with the code RANDOM at https://www.oneskin.co/RANDOM #oneskinpodRula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/RANDOM #rulapodDon’t sleep on @ultrapouches. New customers get 15% Off with code RANDOM at https://takeultra.com! Buy Club Random Merch: https://clubrandom.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices ABOUT CLUB RANDOM In Club Random, Bill Maher unleashes his comedic wit on an unpredictable lineup – from Bill Burr and Jerry Seinfeld to Quentin Tarantino and Neil deGrasse Tyson – digging into everything but politics. It’s Maher in his familiar element: one-on-one vibes, unfiltered laughs, and the kind of freewheeling banter only he can deliver. ABOUT BILL MAHER Bill Maher was the host of “Politically Incorrect” (Comedy Central, ABC) from 1993-2002, and for the last 23 years on HBO’s “Real Time,” Maher’s combination of unflinching honesty and big laughs have garnered him 41 Emmy nominations. Maher won his first Emmy in 2014 as executive producer for the HBO series, “VICE.” In October of 2008, this same combination was on display in Maher’s uproarious and unprecedented swipe at organized religion, “Religulous.” Maher has written six bestsellers: “True Story,” “Does Anybody Have a Problem with That? Politically Incorrect’s Greatest Hits,” “When You Ride Alone, You Ride with Bin Laden,” “New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer,” “The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass", and most recently "What This Comedian Said Will Shock You". FOLLOW CLUB RANDOM https://www.clubrandom.com https://www.facebook.com/Club-Random-101776489118185 https://twitter.com/clubrandom_ https://www.instagram.com/clubrandompodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@clubrandompodcast FOLLOW BILL MAHER https://www.billmaher.com https://twitter.com/billmaher https://www.instagram.com/billmaher Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 1:31Bill Maher?

  Is that a request?

• 1:32Speaker 05

  That is a request.

• 1:33Bill Maher?

  A common request? I'm so not surprised.

• 1:35Speaker 05

  Are you joking?

• 1:36Bill Maher?

  Well, I mean, first of all...

• 1:41Speaker 05

  I do know, because sometimes they're very vocal about it.

• 1:46Bill Maher?

  Excuse me?

• 1:47Speaker 05

  No, it's great.

• 1:50Bill Maher?

  Hey!

• 1:51Speaker 05

  Hello!

• 1:52Bill Maher?

  Hello.

• 1:53Speaker 05

  How are you?

• 1:54Bill Maher?

  Good, I'm glad to see you. I appreciate you.

• 1:56Speaker 05

  I'm so happy to meet you. Thank you so much for this.

• 1:59Bill Maher?

  So, I, uh, Finan, I know you, uh, must be in great demand, so I'm very flattered that you chose to come here.

• 2:05Speaker 05

  Oh, I had to, I had to. This is so awesome. I saw, I saw this opportunity and I said, yes, let's do it immediately.

• 2:11Bill Maher?

  You know, a lot of people in this town do not have those kind of balls.

• 2:14Speaker 05

  Really?

• 2:15Bill Maher?

  Are you fucking kidding me? This town is just full of pussies who are just deathly afraid of, you know, anything that might, like, oh, somebody might write on the internet, you know?

• 2:26Speaker 05

  I've met a lot of fake people here. A lot of fake people.

• 2:29Bill Maher?

  Fake? Really? I've never heard that, but, um, fake, yes, but this is something different. Fake, yes, there are fakes, but these are cowards.

• 2:38Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 2:39Bill Maher?

  These are cowards who just, like, I mean, like, me? I'm really that, uh, you know, dangerous to a lot of people, yes. And I'm really actually the most reasonable person out there, but, okay, we'll put that aside, but just like, they're so afraid of, like, what a bunch of ninnies on the internet are gonna write about it. And I always tell them, like, yeah, maybe some people who have nothing better to do, I mean, you know this as well as anyone.

• 3:04Speaker 05

  Oh, yes.

• 3:05Bill Maher?

  Will just, and then, a day later, Ariana Grande will get a new boyfriend and they'll be on to something else and nobody will give a fuck.

• 3:11Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 3:12Bill Maher?

  But...

• 3:12Speaker 05

  100%.

• 3:13Bill Maher?

  I'm sure, I'm sure I'm, uh, treading on stuff that's very much in your world.

• 3:18Speaker 05

  Oh, yes.

• 3:18Bill Maher?

  Because people must write such shit about you.

• 3:20Speaker 05

  That's something I don't do, is I don't ever read what people say about me online.

• 3:23Bill Maher?

  I don't either.

• 3:24Speaker 05

  I never look my name up.

• 3:25Bill Maher?

  I don't either.

• 3:26Speaker 05

  I will never do that.

• 3:26Bill Maher?

  I don't either. I've never Googled myself.

• 3:29Speaker 05

  Gotta protect your peace. Because there's some crazy people out there that are just saying stuff, because people like to, you know, they see one thing of you and they make an image of you in their head, and that's who you are forever in their head.

• 3:41Bill Maher?

  I always say, if you do something once, okay, if you do anything twice, it's a total reputation for the rest of your life.

• 3:48Speaker 05

  Exactly.

• 3:49Bill Maher?

  You know, suck one cock, but two, and you're, you know, you're, now I'm gay.

• 3:54Speaker 05

  Yeah, right, okay. Just trying it the first time, but two.

• 3:58Bill Maher?

  I mean, anybody would be reasonable about that.

• 4:00Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 4:01Bill Maher?

  Uh, are you having a drink with me?

• 4:03Speaker 05

  I, I am, actually.

• 4:05Bill Maher?

  Good.

• 4:05Speaker 05

  I have some nice vodka cran in here.

• 4:08Bill Maher?

  And you drink it out of a coffee mug?

• 4:10Speaker 05

  Yeah, come on, it's fancy, right?

• 4:13Bill Maher?

  I've never seen anybody drink liquor out of a mug like that. I mean, not that you can't do it, I bet you I've drunk it out of a bottle, so, I mean, I'm no one to...

• 4:20Speaker 05

  To each their own, right? To each their own.

• 4:22Bill Maher?

  But that's how you normally have a drink? Out of that thing?

• 4:24Speaker 05

  Um, no, it's just the first thing they offered and I said, sure.

• 4:27Bill Maher?

  Oh, okay.

• 4:28Speaker 05

  I love it.

• 4:28Bill Maher?

  Well, I'll have a little tequila. This is the one day of the week I allow myself a drink or two.

• 4:34Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 4:34Bill Maher?

  Um, because...

• 4:36Speaker 05

  Is tequila your preferred choice?

• 4:37Bill Maher?

  It is now. When I was younger, I drank Jack Daniels, but, you know, as we go down the path of life, Sophie, you, you have to throttle back.

• 4:45Speaker 05

  I see.

• 4:45Bill Maher?

  And you're on a shorter leash as to what, you know, you can get away with health-wise, and, you know, I mean, I still wanna be everything I always was at this age, and you can if you're not, uh, if you don't abuse your body. It's amazing how much you can abuse your body.

• 5:00Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 5:01Bill Maher?

  When you're younger. I know, you look like you're in perfect health, you don't look like you do drugs or...

• 5:05Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 5:06Bill Maher?

  Do you do drugs?

• 5:07Speaker 05

  I don't, no.

• 5:07Bill Maher?

  Would you like to start?

• 5:09Speaker 05

  Uh, not, not ideally, not ideally.

• 5:11Bill Maher?

  Of course, that's a joke. See, this is why people won't talk to me.

• 5:15Speaker 05

  Yeah, no, come on, I'm enjoying my time so far, but my parents, they were, they were on drugs a little bit during my childhood, and I think I've learned my lesson and I'm never going to go down that path.

• 5:26Bill Maher?

  It's such a common story.

• 5:28Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 5:28Bill Maher?

  That I hear, it's so sad. You know, when I grew up, as a child in the 60s, teenager in the 70s, there was, like, not even any divorce in town. It was so innocent, and people, families stayed together, the parents definitely weren't on drugs.

• 5:46Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 5:47Bill Maher?

  Uh, and now, it's the rule. It, that's, if, if you're a kid your age and the parents who stayed together and nothing weird or stupid or horrible or, like, you know, cringey happened, you're one of the lucky ones.

• 6:04Speaker 05

  It's rare, it's honestly rare nowadays.

• 6:06Bill Maher?

  You would know, I mean, the people your age.

• 6:08Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm, everyone.

• 6:09Bill Maher?

  You have girlfriends you can trust?

• 6:12Speaker 05

  Oh, yes, 100%. I have girlfriends that I grew up with, that I'm still very close with today.

• 6:17Bill Maher?

  I always think that's a very important measure of a young girl's life.

• 6:21Speaker 05

  100% agree.

• 6:22Bill Maher?

  Because a lot of them don't have friends or ones they can trust.

• 6:25Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 6:26Bill Maher?

  And I don't trust them if they don't have a girlfriend.

• 6:30Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 6:30Bill Maher?

  Because, see, some girls are just about the guy.

• 6:33Speaker 05

  Yes, yes, and I've met a couple, met a couple, and it's...

• 6:36Bill Maher?

  Couple what?

• 6:37Speaker 05

  A couple girls that are like that, they only, like, and like, they don't care about if they hurt my feelings, you know, like, they'll, they'll throw me, they'll throw me a curveball to make the guy impressed and stuff like that, like, it's just annoying. I can't stand that.

• 6:49Bill Maher?

  Like, what do you mean? Like, what do you mean a throw you a curveball?

• 6:51Speaker 05

  Like, you know, like, if there's, like, two girls hanging out and then there's a guy, and like, both girls like the guy.

• 6:57Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 6:57Speaker 05

  Obviously, the other girl's gonna try to put down the other girl to try to make herself look better, you know? Like, that's, that's, that's L mentality.

• 7:05Bill Maher?

  I mean, I'm sure this is wading into, uh, you know, politically incorrect territory, which is certainly not something I would ever do.

• 7:13Speaker 05

  Never.

• 7:13Bill Maher?

  But like, there is, there is a very big difference, uh, between the NBA

• 7:18Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 7:19Bill Maher?

  And the WNBA.

• 7:20Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 7:21Bill Maher?

  In, in several ways, but one of them is, girls, you know, like, the guys in the NBA, they don't have, like, any, like, beef other than what's, if you foul me in the game, you know, I might take umbrage at that and pop you, and they do get into fights, but they don't bring feuds and have hatreds and who's she, and, and the WNBA is just a soap opera.

• 7:46Speaker 05

  I feel like it's full of that.

• 7:47Bill Maher?

  It's just a soap opera.

• 7:49Speaker 05

  Yes, I, I do, I see it, I can agree, I can agree.

• 7:52Bill Maher?

  Possibly why it's, it's also gained in popularity, one reason.

• 7:57Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 7:57Bill Maher?

  You know?

• 7:58Speaker 05

  For sure. I feel like that's also why it's probably amped up, too, just to get some attraction to WNBA.

• 8:03Bill Maher?

  If in the NBA, the guys were all fighting and fucking each other...

• 8:08Speaker 05

  That definitely is gonna get some clicks, definitely gonna get some clicks, for sure.

• 8:12Bill Maher?

  Yeah. If I, if a lot of the W, I mean, the NBA, if a lot of that was, was gay, it would be a very different league.

• 8:20Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 8:20Bill Maher?

  You know, if I knew that Luka Doncic was, you know...

• 8:24Speaker 05

  Was gay?

• 8:26Bill Maher?

  Let's not name other players.

• 8:28Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:29Bill Maher?

  Let's just get close off the...

• 8:30Speaker 05

  Someone's gonna get angry, someone's gonna get angry.

• 8:32Bill Maher?

  But, congratulations, because like, to be number one at anything, but especially, because you're number one, right, at, at OnlyFans?

• 8:41Speaker 05

  I, I like to think so, but I, I could never know, because OnlyFans will never put out a statement who is actually the top person. And I've personally been in the OnlyFans headquarters, and they would not tell me.

• 8:52Bill Maher?

  Then why do I keep reading that?

• 8:54Speaker 05

  That's just what everyone says. No one, no one has been able to prove, like I've been able to prove, so I do believe it.

• 9:00Bill Maher?

  Well, I say you're number one. You're number one.

• 9:02Speaker 05

  I'm number one!

• 9:03Bill Maher?

  You're number one.

• 9:04Speaker 05

  I'm number one, that's what I've been saying.

• 9:05Bill Maher?

  Has anyone on OnlyFans ever asked you to do number one?

• 9:10Bill Maher?

  Because there's a lot of perverts on there, aren't there? Come on.

• 9:13Speaker 05

  I, I think, yeah, I have, I have, actually.

• 9:15Bill Maher?

  Is that a request?

• 9:16Speaker 05

  That is a request.

• 9:16Bill Maher?

  A common request?

• 9:17Speaker 05

  There, I, I've gotten some crazy requests. I know a girl, I don't know if I'm allowed to say this, I know a girl that had a request to fly all the way to Dubai and have the guy poop on her.

• 9:30Bill Maher?

  I'm so not surprised.

• 9:32Speaker 05

  Are you joking?

• 9:33Bill Maher?

  Well, I mean, first of all, this phenomenon, now, Sophie, you're talking to someone who's very anal about shit, like, I, I really, no one likes shit, but, no one hates it more than me. Like, if I see it in a movie, I speed through the part of the, I, I just don't find it funny, I find it gross. It is gross, it's shit, as I say.

• 9:53Speaker 05

  I agree, yeah.

• 9:54Bill Maher?

  But I do know that this has been a kink forever.

• 9:59Speaker 05

  What?

• 9:59Bill Maher?

  It's, they used to call it, maybe they still do, a plate man? Have you ever heard that term?

• 10:06Speaker 05

  No. Is that actually what it's called?

• 10:08Bill Maher?

  Well, yes, this definitely was a thing.

• 10:11Speaker 05

  Oh, my god.

• 10:12Bill Maher?

  There was a, a famous comedian of yesteryear, I'm sure you wouldn't know the name, and I'm not gonna say it, and the people who know, know.

• 10:20Speaker 05

  Right.

• 10:20Bill Maher?

  Um, but he was a big star, I never thought he was funny, he was on my never funny list, but he was older than me, and I was a kid, and he was like, a, you know...

• 10:29Speaker 05

  Right.

• 10:29Bill Maher?

  Anyway, he was supposedly a, a plate man, like, and a plate man was someone who would, uh, um, get under a glass coffee table while the...

• 10:44Bill Maher?

  Woman.

• 10:45Speaker 05

  Actually?

• 10:46Bill Maher?

  Did this, yeah, yeah. He, um, yeah.

• 10:50Speaker 05

  See, like, I don't, I don't, I don't see the appeal in that.

• 10:52Bill Maher?

  Uh, no.

• 10:53Speaker 05

  Like, I don't see the appeal at all.

• 10:55Bill Maher?

  But there's so many weird, unappealing things I think that people do. I had a whole bit about this in one of my specials, about how even in my fantasies, I don't do weird things. Like, you'd think, okay, you're just in your mind. You can do anything. Even in my mind, I don't spit on anybody, choke anybody, come on your face, fuck you in the ass.

• 11:17Speaker 05

  It's just like a little more exciting, you know?

• 11:19Bill Maher?

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• 12:00Bill Maher?

  Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at ziprecruiter.com/random. That is ziprecruiter.com/random. Meet your match on ZipRecruiter.

• 12:18Speaker 05

  Just a little more hamped up.

• 12:19Bill Maher?

  So I certainly wouldn't do it in real life. Now, maybe that makes me vanilla.

• 12:23Speaker 05

  I mean, some would say, but I feel like that's just normal.

• 12:26Bill Maher?

  I just feel like sex is good. Why, I don't need to... But the amount of people who do weird things.

• 12:33Speaker 05

  Uh huh.

• 12:33Bill Maher?

  Come on, you must be on the front lines of this.

• 12:37Speaker 05

  Oh, yes. I've, like I said, I've come across some crazy stuff. I think that was the craziest, though. I've never heard of that, what you were explaining.

• 12:46Speaker 05

  I don't even wanna say it, cuz like, it is just disgusting.

• 12:48Bill Maher?

  But I mean, and also peeing, I mean...

• 12:51Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, I don't understand that at all.

• 12:53Bill Maher?

  I don't either, but, but I don't even understand food. It's less weird and disgusting than shitting and pissing. But people who involve food in sex, I feel like they're not doing it right.

• 13:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 13:07Bill Maher?

  You're filling some sort of void with lemon meringue pie that, like, you should...

• 13:12Speaker 05

  Like, just eat at the table. Just, just eat, just eat the pie at the table. Like, you don't have to do anything crazy with it.

• 13:19Bill Maher?

  Well, there's that old saying, you know, "Don't shit where you eat."

• 13:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 13:22Bill Maher?

  Which has to do with, you know, workplace, you know?

• 13:25Speaker 05

  You know, I got peed on recently, actually.

• 13:29Bill Maher?

  We'll be right back.

• 13:32Speaker 05

  I was in Greece.

• 13:33Bill Maher?

  Talk shows have really changed. What do you mean, "peed on"?

• 13:36Speaker 05

  I was, I was in Greece, and I got stung really bad by a jellyfish. And that's what everyone tells you, is to pee on. No, it was, it's a lie.

• 13:44Bill Maher?

  I've heard that. Oh, it is?

• 13:45Speaker 05

  It's a myth, so...

• 13:46Bill Maher?

  Just an excuse to pee on, Jack?

• 13:48Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I, I had, I had, I had someone pee for me, and I, I put it on cuz it was hurting so bad. And I, I didn't know what I got stung by, cuz I was swimming in the water, and then I just felt my whole leg, like, go numb. And I was like, oh my god, like, I'm about to have to chop my leg off. So I was freaking out, anything. I pulled myself on the boat. I was like, "Do you have anything?" And they were like, "Pee?"

• 14:06Bill Maher?

  But it didn't do anything?

• 14:07Speaker 05

  It made it worse. Like, it a hundred percent made it worse.

• 14:09Bill Maher?

  It does sound like something a medieval barber would suggest.

• 14:13Speaker 05

  Like, who made, who made that up? That's disgusting. It's people, the people with the kink. They made that up.

• 14:20Bill Maher?

  I think you're right.

• 14:21Speaker 05

  Like, it, that's not, it's not a real thing. It doesn't help at all. I looked it up.

• 14:25Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I mean, you can understand why people would fall for it, because we, we're not scientists. We don't, sometimes there is a weird, counterintuitive thing that does work. It, sometimes there is. I mean, medicine and science is more complicated than

• 14:42Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 14:43Bill Maher?

  layman like us know.

• 14:46Bill Maher?

  But you're right. I mean, it's just, uh, one of those things that people hear, and they don't know how to contrefute it, so they just go with it. It's just like, yeah, oh, yeah. And then it becomes folkloric. Then it becomes more than a wives' tale. It just becomes like the conventional wisdom, the accepted wisdom.

• 15:10Speaker 05

  What's another example that we could think of?

• 15:12Bill Maher?

  There's plenty. I mean, there's so many things that we just repeat. People just repeat because it's, it's, it's, you know, this is why it's so dangerous, you know, to, um, have people write things about you, even if it's on the internet, because there is something about writing, as opposed to just speaking, that immediately in our brains just infuses something with more gravity.

• 15:39Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 15:40Bill Maher?

  You know, you're reading it.

• 15:41Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 15:41Bill Maher?

  And maybe part of your brain knows, well, this totally could be bullshit, but

• 15:50Bill Maher?

  you're kinda, your inclination is just, "Oh, I read it. Okay, and now it's in my brain, and that, and it becomes true."

• 15:55Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 15:56Bill Maher?

  You know, when I look at how wrong they are about a subject I know really well, me, it just makes me go, "What about these other things that I read?" Anything else? Big political things, little things, pop culture. If they're getting me so wrong, where I actually know the truth, cuz I am me.

• 16:20Speaker 05

  Right.

• 16:21Bill Maher?

  Then what if they, you know...

• 16:23Speaker 05

  How much other stuff is wrong?

• 16:24Bill Maher?

  I don't, I mean, I...

• 16:26Speaker 05

  You never know. That's why, that's what, earlier, like, people will see one thing online about you, and they think they know exactly who you are.

• 16:32Bill Maher?

  Who do they think you are?

• 16:33Speaker 05

  Um, a lot of people think that I'm just a rich, OnlyFans,

• 16:40Speaker 05

  if you will, say whore, and that's all, that's all I get. I, I'm not a real person. I'm just online, you know? People don't, people don't see me as a real person.

• 16:50Bill Maher?

  You know, as we were starting to say before about the, uh, the staff side of life. They are different than the men, uh, superior in many ways, but also just much more catty. Like, you know, two guys are sitting in a bar, and another guy walks in. We don't even see him. Two women are sitting there, and a woman walks in. It's like, "Who's she?"

• 17:13Speaker 05

  Yep. That is, that is true. I can't even, I can't sit here and lie. That is true.

• 17:17Bill Maher?

  That is true. So a lot of it is that, like, whether you're number one or whatever, you, you are rich. You did take this thing that so many people have tried to master, and was, have been an enormous success about it. So, yeah, it's that girl you were talking about before, except it's not just one guy. She has to take, put you down in front of. It's the whole country.

• 17:44Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

• 17:45Bill Maher?

  So I assume that's what's going on.

• 17:47Speaker 05

  A little bit.

• 17:48Bill Maher?

  They're jealous and...

• 17:49Speaker 05

  Probably, yeah, definitely. Cuz, I mean, I definitely, I definitely have, like, money. I'm not saying that I'm rich, and that's the only thing that they see, but like, people just can't see anything past that, you know?

• 18:00Bill Maher?

  And it's sad. Did you make the kind of money that they report in the paper, or is that bullshit too?

• 18:05Speaker 05

  That is very true. It is very true.

• 18:07Bill Maher?

  Like, how much money have you made altogether now?

• 18:09Speaker 05

  Altogether, I've been doing this for two and a half years. Um, I've made over a hundred million dollars. But obviously, there's taxes I gotta pay, and all the people I have employed, I've gotta pay that. Yeah, taxes is not fun. I actually need to do my taxes. I had to file an extension like twenty times. It's really bad.

• 18:30Bill Maher?

  Why? You're spending the money?

• 18:31Speaker 05

  I'm spend, I'm spending money for sure. I'm spending money for sure. I'm just really bad at answering my...

• 18:36Bill Maher?

  Went through a hundred million?

• 18:37Speaker 05

  Oh, no, no, no, no. No. I'm investing most of my money.

• 18:40Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 18:41Speaker 05

  Um, I have a really awesome financial advisor. I love him so much. Um...

• 18:44Bill Maher?

  Yeah, you need that.

• 18:45Speaker 05

  I like, I literally tell him, "I'm only allowed this much money a month."

• 18:49Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 18:49Speaker 05

  "Don't give me anymore if I ask for more."

• 18:51Bill Maher?

  Very smart.

• 18:51Speaker 05

  Just because I know what it was like struggling growing up, and on, I don't ever, I can't go back to, like, I don't wanna go back to that. I can't. I support my entire family now. I bought my mom and dad a house. I retired them. They take care of my animals when I'm traveling. So it's a really good balance, and like, I love it. And like, I can pay them in return for them helping me, and I, it's just awesome. It's a really good, this is all I ever wanted, was just my family to be together.

• 19:14Bill Maher?

  I think we're both animal lovers. I've been a PETA board member since the nineties.

• 19:18Speaker 05

  Really?

• 19:18Bill Maher?

  Oh, yeah. I mean, that's my cause, and, uh, I have many animals around here, even though it's not exactly a farm.

• 19:26Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 19:26Bill Maher?

  But like, I don't know if you saw when you walked out, if you walked down here, you saw the grass is all a mess.

• 19:31Speaker 05

  It's beautiful.

• 19:32Bill Maher?

  It's beautiful, but you see that there's no, like, grass. That's because I don't kill the groundhogs. I let them have their run of the place.

• 19:39Speaker 05

  Yo.

• 19:40Bill Maher?

  And they take advantage of me.

• 19:41Speaker 05

  I have horrible, I don't know what they are. They're moles?

• 19:44Bill Maher?

  Yes, groundhogs.

• 19:45Speaker 05

  Yeah, something. My grandpa called them salamanders. I don't know what that is.

• 19:49Bill Maher?

  Salamanders? No, that's a lizard.

• 19:50Speaker 05

  I was gonna say, that's what I thought. But he said, "No, it's, it's another type of gopher." Anyways, I have them all over my yard. I have them all over.

• 19:56Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I'm not gonna kill them. I don't care about my yard. What am I, a suburban dad?

• 19:59Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 19:59Bill Maher?

  You know?

• 20:01Speaker 05

  No, I live in the middle of nowhere. No one sees my yard.

• 20:03Bill Maher?

  But I have, uh,

• 20:04Speaker 05

  I let them do whatever.

• 20:05Bill Maher?

  Ducks that come by. They go for a while, and then they come back. Uh, we feed them. They walk around very freely. Um, sometimes they go in the pool. They know they're not supposed to. I yell at them. They, they do it.

• 20:18Speaker 05

  They're bad. They're bad.

• 20:19Bill Maher?

  They really are. They, all the animals take advantage of me, and I, you know, I'm too nice.

• 20:24Speaker 05

  I had two ducks also.

• 20:25Bill Maher?

  Beehives, you know, that are great, and

• 20:28Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 20:28Bill Maher?

  fish, poy pond. I, I like being surrounded by nature and, and animals, you know, and always have dogs, you know?

• 20:36Speaker 05

  That's where you and I agree on. I love animals. That's what I wanna do, is I just wanna live on a farm. That's, that's the goal for me, is to own a lot of land and just rescue animals. That's all I wanna do.

• 20:47Bill Maher?

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• 21:30Bill Maher?

  built around your goals and background. No wait lists, appointments as soon as tomorrow. And they stick with you to make sure that thing's actually working. Thousands of people are already using Rula to get affordable, high-quality therapy that is actually covered by insurance. So visit rula.com/random to get started. That is R-U-L-A dot com slash random. You deserve mental health care that works with you, not against your budget.

• 22:03Bill Maher?

  But the other thing that, I mean, excuse me if this is ignorant.

• 22:07Speaker 05

  No, no, I...

• 22:07Bill Maher?

  I just know what I know in the, from weed, because, I mean, you, even your...

• 22:13Bill Maher?

  Success got onto my radar, you know, and I usually don't traffic too much in pop culture, except when it rises to a certain level. But, so it is phenomenal. The other thing they write about you is that you're a virgin. And the first thing I thought I knew about you, but I don't think that was right, was that you were, again, to your point about what they say, was that, you know, or maybe I just got it in my head wrong, that you were this virgin on the OnlyFans, who was kinda like, well, you were seeking the guy to, you know, shall we say, open Al Capone's vault.

• 22:51Speaker 05

  I see, I see. That's not the case.

• 22:54Bill Maher?

  That's not the case.

• 22:55Speaker 05

  I am a virgin.

• 22:57Bill Maher?

  You are a virgin.

• 22:57Speaker 05

  I am a virgin. I grew up with no friends. I didn't have anyone growing up besides my two girlfriends that I'm still very close with today. Those were it. And I didn't like, like, I didn't do extracurricular activities. Like, I didn't go out. I didn't have fun. Like, I was just school home, school home. So like, I never had a relationship with anyone. And then I started working. I was serving for about four years at a mom and pop restaurant. I was a waitress. And I did that. I started talking to a guy there. Never worked out. And then, now I'm here. And I'm just waiting for the right person. But now everyone knows me and it's like weird. So like, I'm trying to date, but...

• 23:34Bill Maher?

  It is gonna be a little weird now.

• 23:35Speaker 05

  It's hard. It's hard now. So I'm just waiting for the right person.

• 23:38Bill Maher?

  Worth it.

• 23:38Speaker 05

  You know?

• 23:38Bill Maher?

  Worth a hundred million.

• 23:40Speaker 05

  Yeah, right?

• 23:41Bill Maher?

  Well, you know,

• 23:44Bill Maher?

  people seem to think, especially in the age of, you know, like, dating over the phone and AI, that they can somehow quantify love and somehow manipulate it. And I guess you can to a degree. You know, back when I was first out there, there was no way of narrowing the field to just the people who might be closer to what you were looking for. You just went to the bar. Whoever was there that night,

• 24:14Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 24:14Bill Maher?

  you know, you just got lucky on a Tuesday night. There was a... Okay, maybe that was just very scattershot and now it's like, all right, well, fill out this profile and tell you everything about me, then this other person, oh my gosh, you like ducks too, and like, but I just don't think at the end of the day, that kinda stuff is what's gonna be determinative. It very often might be the person who you have very little seemingly in common.

• 24:38Speaker 05

  I totally agree.

• 24:39Bill Maher?

  But somehow you vibe.

• 24:41Speaker 05

  I totally agree.

• 24:41Bill Maher?

  Or you're feeling each other's, you know. Who wants someone who's their clone?

• 24:46Speaker 05

  Yeah, right? I feel like it's like, it's good to have like two, two, what is it called? Like battery ends? Positive and negative?

• 24:52Bill Maher?

  Anode and cathode, or ACDC?

• 24:54Speaker 05

  Like a positive and a negative, you know? Like, you can't be too similar, cause then you guys butt heads.

• 24:58Bill Maher?

  A penis and a vagina, for a second.

• 25:00Speaker 05

  There we go. There we go. That's a really good example.

• 25:01Bill Maher?

  Well, that's what they call it in the...

• 25:03Speaker 05

  That is true. That is true. That is what they call it. That is what they call it.

• 25:07Bill Maher?

  Well, what do you think of the fact that like, we do live in an age, and, you know, I'm a supporter of trans rights and then the idea that people are trans, but I don't wanna load the issue. What do you, what do you think about the fact that, you know, someone is born and they are not always quote unquote "in the right body"?

• 25:28Speaker 05

  I mean, it's honestly such a hard subject, I feel like, cause it's, I feel like I could talk about this for a long time. I think it's okay, but I can't stand the way that they push it on to other people. I feel like...

• 25:39Bill Maher?

  I agree. That's exactly my position.

• 25:40Speaker 05

  Yeah, I think it's totally fine.

• 25:42Bill Maher?

  It's too much, but sometimes you become a Karen yourself.

• 25:46Speaker 05

  Yes, a hundred percent, a hundred percent.

• 25:48Bill Maher?

  And, you know, and just exaggerate, like,

• 25:53Bill Maher?

  everything about the likelihood that this is a phenomenon that's going to happen. It does happen. We should protect and respect people like that, but they are no less than us and I would welcome, sometimes people have like yelled at me like, "Bill, do you have a trans friend?" No, not because I'm avoiding them.

• 26:14Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 26:14Bill Maher?

  Because they're apparently avoiding me. Or maybe we just don't travel in the same circles.

• 26:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, exactly.

• 26:20Bill Maher?

  But it's not like I'm, I have a policy.

• 26:23Speaker 05

  Yes, like...

• 26:23Bill Maher?

  And I, look, I have talked to a number of parents who have trans kids. And some of them have convinced me, and I think it's true, that

• 26:35Bill Maher?

  they knew very early on. I mean, that's what they say, is like, you know what? We knew this when he was two, three, four, or five, whatever. I've also had people say, women, say to me, "I was a tomboy." And if I grew up now, as opposed to when I grew up then, they would have put a dick on me.

• 26:58Speaker 05

  No, for sure. I feel like I, like, I feel like I kinda grew up tomboy. I was into Pokemon. I had two brothers. So I was just surrounded by that lifestyle and that's, that's really why I don't think I had a lot of friends. Like, I didn't like doing the girly stuff. I'd never got my like fingernails painted. I don't like getting my hair done. I don't know how to do my hair, cause I never got my hair done when I was younger.

• 27:16Bill Maher?

  That does not speak badly of you.

• 27:18Speaker 05

  Well, thank you.

• 27:18Bill Maher?

  That you're smarter than the average... I mean, I'm not putting girls down.

• 27:23Speaker 05

  Yeah, I know.

• 27:24Bill Maher?

  I mean, everybody at that age is stupid, quite frankly. I certainly was. You know, it's the stupid age. You know, you're an adult, which means you have access to adult things, but you don't really have an adult mind yet.

• 27:36Speaker 05

  Yeah. You're still figuring things out.

• 27:37Bill Maher?

  You're a dummy who can drive and fuck and do a lot of adult things.

• 27:42Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 27:43Bill Maher?

  And you're just doing them badly or wrong. But girls just mature so much earlier. Like, you're, what are you, how old are you?

• 27:52Speaker 05

  I'm about to turn 22. I'm 21 right now.

• 27:54Bill Maher?

  Oh, 21. Well, you're very mature. You're very poised and, oh yeah, believe me. I've had some people here who were, let's not go into it. Anyway, but you're, yes, you're very collected.

• 28:06Speaker 05

  I appreciate it.

• 28:06Bill Maher?

  You know, it's absolutely true. And I've known a lot of girls in their twenties. At 21, they're usually pretty ditzy. 25, whole different story. Like, they will mature between 21 and 25, whereas men are not even beginning to mature at 25.

• 28:23Speaker 05

  Really? I thought that's when they mature, is at 25?

• 28:25Bill Maher?

  25?

• 28:26Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 28:26Bill Maher?

  You've met a mature 25-year-old guy?

• 28:29Speaker 05

  I don't think I've ever met a mature guy.

• 28:31Bill Maher?

  Okay.

• 28:32Speaker 05

  If I'm being honest.

• 28:33Bill Maher?

  Right, because you're 21, because they're all...

• 28:35Speaker 05

  That is true. That is true.

• 28:36Bill Maher?

  And I hate to disappoint you, but it goes on way past 25.

• 28:40Speaker 05

  That's crazy.

• 28:40Bill Maher?

  Like, that's definitely the beginning of when you're dangerous.

• 28:43Speaker 05

  Oh. So I got a long way to go.

• 28:44Bill Maher?

  Yeah, because now you have a car. Well, there's a reason why girls, like in school, they're always going out with the upperclassmen. We just don't mature at the same rate. So, um, yeah.

• 28:56Speaker 05

  Is there science behind that? Why?

• 28:58Bill Maher?

  Science? Well...

• 29:00Speaker 05

  Do we know?

• 29:01Bill Maher?

  If you're gonna drag that into it.

• 29:03Speaker 05

  I'm just curious.

• 29:04Bill Maher?

  No, it's a great question. I'm sure there is. I am not the person to answer the question, but are there people who study brainwaves and the brains of men, women, and Neanderthals and, you know, chimps? Yeah, I'm sure there are. I know there are. What they're finding in there, I don't know. It also has, could have something to do with hormones.

• 29:30Speaker 05

  This is true.

• 29:31Bill Maher?

  Testosterone, too much of it coursing through your body, like, it's not like I didn't have a good brain. I went to an Ivy League college. I mean, I was a very good student. You know, I did learn a lot and put a lot in my brain, but it still never overruled my dick.

• 29:49Speaker 05

  Okay, that's good.

• 29:50Bill Maher?

  And that, well, it's, it's not always good. No, it's not always good.

• 29:56Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 29:57Bill Maher?

  I mean, you don't want your dick doing your thinking for you.

• 30:00Speaker 05

  Oh, well, yeah, no. I thought you meant the opposite.

• 30:02Bill Maher?

  Oh, I probably said it wrong. My dick overruled my brain.

• 30:05Speaker 05

  There we go.

• 30:06Bill Maher?

  That's what was the problem.

• 30:07Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, no, that's, no good.

• 30:08Bill Maher?

  And, you know, my brain was good, but it was, it was no match for my dick.

• 30:15Speaker 05

  Okay, okay. So you know, you know, you've been around.

• 30:18Bill Maher?

  That's a big problem. Although I also hear that the men today are pussies. That, that's the complaint I hear from a lot of young women, is that they're, they want a man to be a man without being a dick about it.

• 30:30Speaker 05

  They're divas.

• 30:32Bill Maher?

  Divas, yes.

• 30:32Speaker 05

  They're divas nowadays. Like, I've noticed more and more, like, every time I go to the club, there's more and more like guys like dancing on like tables when I should be seeing like girls dancing.

• 30:44Bill Maher?

  Really?

• 30:45Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 30:45Bill Maher?

  Guys are dancing on tables?

• 30:47Speaker 05

  Yes, I've seen it firsthand. Firsthand, I've seen it in Miami. It's, it's really heartbreaking, cause I'm like...

• 30:53Bill Maher?

  Is that where you live?

• 30:54Speaker 05

  Yes. Well, I technically live in Tampa, but I go to Miami all the time.

• 30:58Bill Maher?

  And you go to the clubs?

• 30:59Speaker 05

  I do go to the clubs in Miami.

• 31:01Bill Maher?

  For fun, or just...

• 31:02Speaker 05

  Just for fun. Honestly, for fun.

• 31:04Bill Maher?

  So this is not like for a promotion or something?

• 31:06Speaker 05

  Oh, no, no, no. I like to just go like with my friends. Like, anytime that there's a birthday, we're going to a club in Miami, I feel like. And I do a lot of stuff in Miami. Like, I just did swim week in Miami. We went to the club after to celebrate.

• 31:16Bill Maher?

  And do you get mobbed by fans?

• 31:21Speaker 05

  Yes and no. It's really hard for me to like go to the bathroom in the club, cause like you have to like push by everyone, you know, and you have to like make arm change so you don't get lost. And like, every time I do that, someone's like grabbing me.

• 31:31Bill Maher?

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• 31:52Bill Maher?

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• 32:37Bill Maher?

  OneSkin is helping you unlock your healthiest skin now and as you age. For a limited time, try OneSkin with 15% off using code RANDOM at oneskin.co/random. That is 15% off, oneskin.co with code RANDOM. After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. You must have a security person.

• 33:06Speaker 05

  I don't.

• 33:07Bill Maher?

  Well, get one.

• 33:08Speaker 05

  I know. Everyone is telling me I need to get one, but like...

• 33:11Bill Maher?

  Everyone's right.

• 33:12Speaker 05

  I just feel so, I don't know, I feel awful like making someone risk their life for me. I just don't like that.

• 33:17Bill Maher?

  You'll get over it. I do.

• 33:18Speaker 05

  I feel like I need to because I definitely need security.

• 33:21Bill Maher?

  Oh, you definitely need to. You're a girl.

• 33:22Speaker 05

  I went to Greece and I got cornered by these... It wasn't even scary.

• 33:26Bill Maher?

  You need to do this yesterday.

• 33:28Speaker 05

  Yeah, I know. I needed to do this, yeah.

• 33:30Bill Maher?

  You know what? Just don't get a stupid one.

• 33:34Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 33:35Bill Maher?

  Like, you know what you don't need? Some big guy.

• 33:38Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 33:39Bill Maher?

  A big, muscle-bound jerk who looks like he's wanting to fight.

• 33:46Speaker 05

  What?

• 33:46Bill Maher?

  And justify his job. No. You just, you need like a, just a regular-looking, but, you know, there are guys like this, trust me.

• 33:55Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 33:55Bill Maher?

  I found one.

• 33:56Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 33:57Bill Maher?

  Like, they're not threatening-looking, but yes, could they kill you? Of course.

• 34:02Speaker 05

  You never know. You never know. That's who I need to look for.

• 34:06Bill Maher?

  But they, they do the job more with their mind. They do the job with their mind.

• 34:12Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 34:12Bill Maher?

  They can see trouble. They can just size up a room, size up people.

• 34:17Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 34:18Bill Maher?

  As opposed to someone who just does it by rote. Someone who does it just by, like, by the book and... You know, this is the difference between, for example, Israeli security and American at the airport. We have robots. I mean, they're humans, but they act like robots. They just, Israeli security, totally different. They have the smartest people in the country, ex-military intelligence, who work the airport. And they just, they're smart. They can see who might be trouble. They don't pretend like it could be everybody equally. They know what questions to...

• 34:55Speaker 05

  They have experience.

• 34:56Bill Maher?

  What questions to ask. You know, they just do it in a really smart way. You gotta get the equivalent of that for a security person. And then they don't even look like they're a security person.

• 35:06Speaker 05

  They just look like the average Joe.

• 35:07Bill Maher?

  Yeah, you don't want some muscle-bound guy in a tight t-shirt, like showing, popping his collar because that's what, he gets him off. And a piece in his ear and like, you know, come on, man.

• 35:19Speaker 05

  Acting all big and bad.

• 35:20Bill Maher?

  Right, you know, be an extra on the next Jack Ryan movie. But you just need a guy who, you know, or you could even probably get a badass girl.

• 35:29Speaker 05

  That is true. I just went to the MVP girls, or women's boxing event. And, oh my gosh, women are scary when they're like...

• 35:38Bill Maher?

  You know what? That's what you should do. That'd be like a really cool thing to do.

• 35:41Speaker 05

  You think?

• 35:42Bill Maher?

  Oh, fuck yeah. That would be very cool. And I don't think you would have to give up a lot of... I think, you know, there are tough women who can do that and, I mean, just going by what I see on Lioness.

• 35:55Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 35:55Bill Maher?

  Do you watch Lioness?

• 35:56Speaker 05

  I, you know what? It's on my list to watch.

• 35:59Bill Maher?

  It's really good.

• 36:00Speaker 05

  Because I really wanna watch it. I really wanna watch it. I've seen so many clips online about it.

• 36:04Bill Maher?

  Oh, it's awesome.

• 36:04Speaker 05

  I love when like a woman makes me scared. You know, like, it's so empowering. I just, I like it.

• 36:09Bill Maher?

  How do they scare you?

• 36:11Speaker 05

  Like, when I was at that boxing event, like Amanda Serrano, that's who we were watching. Like, she's just so like, muscular and like was just punching this other girl. And I was like, oh my gosh, like, I'm terrified. She's just, she's a badass, you know?

• 36:24Bill Maher?

  Yes.

• 36:25Speaker 05

  She's a badass. Because I know I could never do, I'd be...

• 36:27Bill Maher?

  I think it's crazy girls punching each other, but you know, I mean, it takes all kinds of...

• 36:32Speaker 05

  Yo, there's some, I was gonna say, there's all kinds of stuff out there.

• 36:35Bill Maher?

  It takes all kinds to fill the freeway. And they obviously get off on it, you know?

• 36:40Speaker 05

  Yeah, I mean, they're signing up for it, so...

• 36:43Bill Maher?

  Okay, watch Lioness. There's like two...

• 36:45Speaker 05

  I know, I'm really, I want to.

• 36:46Bill Maher?

  There's two chicks in her, like, squad who are lovers.

• 36:50Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 36:51Bill Maher?

  They're both like badass. They would be, both be perfect if they lived in, not the actress.

• 36:56Speaker 05

  Right.

• 36:56Bill Maher?

  Like, in real life.

• 36:57Speaker 05

  If they were real people, if they were real.

• 36:58Bill Maher?

  And they're both kinda hot.

• 37:00Speaker 05

  Well, if you know anyone, and if you ever meet anyone that's like that, you know where to send them.

• 37:04Bill Maher?

  I will not. I mean, that's not gonna happen. I can't. And I wanna get your hopes up, but...

• 37:11Speaker 05

  A girl can always dream.

• 37:13Bill Maher?

  But you should do it, you should do it now. It's ridiculous that you're, with your level, your profile, just your bank account that's so public.

• 37:22Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 37:23Bill Maher?

  That alone makes you a target.

• 37:25Speaker 05

  I know. I'm working on security right now, actually. Because I was just in Greece and I had a really bad experience with a lot of people.

• 37:32Bill Maher?

  Well, you're gonna have a lot worse experiences.

• 37:34Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah. I'm working on it. I'm working on it.

• 37:37Bill Maher?

  Again, you just need one person.

• 37:39Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's it.

• 37:39Bill Maher?

  And they can sit off to the side. They don't have to be your friend. Maybe they become your friend, but a friend who knows when they're working, "I'm working first."

• 37:54Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 37:54Bill Maher?

  You know?

• 37:56Speaker 05

  I mean, I never, I never travel alone, so there's that. At least I'm not traveling alone.

• 38:01Bill Maher?

  I could name more than a few female celebrities who married the bodyguard.

• 38:07Speaker 05

  Oh, really?

• 38:08Bill Maher?

  You didn't know that?

• 38:09Speaker 05

  No, I don't, I don't keep up that much. I don't keep up that much with, with online stuff. Yeah, I, whenever like...

• 38:16Bill Maher?

  You don't know what you're missing.

• 38:18Speaker 05

  Whenever I'm not like actively making content, I just turn my phone off and I'm literally just at home, playing with my cows.

• 38:25Bill Maher?

  What about the movie The Bodyguard? Never saw that? Oh, put that on your list.

• 38:30Speaker 05

  Okay, I'm going to. Who's in that?

• 38:31Bill Maher?

  So hot. Who's in that? What? Whitney Houston.

• 38:35Speaker 05

  Okay, okay, I'm gonna watch it then. That's all you had to say.

• 38:37Bill Maher?

  Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner.

• 38:39Speaker 05

  Okay, The Bodyguard.

• 38:40Bill Maher?

  He's the bodyguard, she's the singing star. And she's, you know, she's like Whitney Houston.

• 38:49Speaker 05

  Right, right. She's literally Whitney Houston.

• 38:51Bill Maher?

  She's literally, and she needs a bodyguard. And Kevin Costner is just the man for the job in every way, if you know what I mean. And she ain't no virgin.

• 39:02Speaker 05

  Okay, okay, I see. I see where this is going. I see where this is going.

• 39:06Bill Maher?

  So, so you're not like on the hunt to end your virginity. You're just like, when it happens, it happens.

• 39:13Speaker 05

  Exactly, exactly.

• 39:15Bill Maher?

  But you don't wanna get to like 30. That'll be embarrassing.

• 39:17Speaker 05

  I mean, I would like to be like married to the person I wanna be with for the rest of my life. Like, maybe in a couple years, you know? Like, I don't wanna, I don't wanna wait too long. I wanna start getting my life started, I feel like.

• 39:29Bill Maher?

  And what is, what is your ideal man? Like, if you had to just conjure it up?

• 39:35Speaker 05

  My ideal man?

• 39:36Bill Maher?

  AI, make this...

• 39:37Speaker 05

  AI, please, right now.

• 39:38Bill Maher?

  Make this person...

• 39:40Speaker 05

  I would like, I don't, I would like them to be fit. I want someone that can bring me to the gym. I've never gone to the gym a day of my life. And I need to go. I wanna go. Because like you were saying earlier, our bodies, we need to start taking care of them. And I wanna start taking care of my body. So I need someone that's in the gym and that knows how to go to the gym. And then honestly, just someone that can make me laugh. That's it. I just want laughter in my life. And also someone that just loves me unconditionally and obviously won't cheat. I feel like that's a given.

• 40:07Bill Maher?

  Well, I'm sorry, I'm taken, but I, I watch my body like a teenage girl. Like, I am...

• 40:15Speaker 05

  I mean, you look great.

• 40:16Bill Maher?

  Well, thanks.

• 40:17Speaker 05

  You look very great.

• 40:18Bill Maher?

  For 70, you know, I always say, for, you know, like, when people say, "At this age, you look great," there always should be a little chyron underneath it for your age.

• 40:26Speaker 05

  Yeah, okay.

• 40:27Bill Maher?

  Which is, which is all you can hope for, and that's fine. But, no, I can't, I cannot stand an ounce of fat. I just can't. And I, I'm not a fan of it on other people either. And that doesn't mean they're bad people or, like, I understand people have habits. Look, I can't stop smoking pot. I really don't wanna, but I, you know? But the fact that it became trendy, it became almost like a statement, a good statement. You know, body positivity, remember that? And then Ozempic came along.

• 41:02Speaker 05

  And then now everyone's skinny. Everyone's skinny.

• 41:05Bill Maher?

  What happened to healthy? We could all be healthy at any weight. It was just like they were selling such bullshit.

• 41:10Speaker 05

  And I feel like it was overnight, too.

• 41:12Bill Maher?

  Overnight.

• 41:13Speaker 05

  Like, I woke up and every single person I'm seeing online is like skin and bones. I'm like, what is going on right now?

• 41:18Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 41:19Speaker 05

  It's scary. It's scary. I feel like we're reverting back to like the 2000s, like bad, bad body image. Not that it's bad, but like, obviously with eating disorders and stuff, it's causing young girls to think that way.

• 41:33Bill Maher?

  Well, but you're naturally voluptuous. I feel like a lot of it is, well, I know a lot of it is artificial.

• 41:42Speaker 05

  Unfortunately.

• 41:43Bill Maher?

  Butt implants and tit implants and, you know, they just, no one, in any way, we were talking before about sexually, but even body-wise, no one really thinks how you're born is what you have to be stuck with. And, you know, that, I'm not against that thinking. I just think there isn't a balanced view put out there enough to say, "Okay, you can fuck with your body in any way you want, but just know, we're not living in the 23rd century where we can just like do it and there are no repercussions."

• 42:19Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 42:20Bill Maher?

  Like, even if I thought I was a woman in my mind, I wouldn't do anything to my body. Because I know how much...

• 42:28Speaker 05

  Pain.

• 42:29Bill Maher?

  What?

• 42:29Speaker 05

  That's a lot of pain.

• 42:30Bill Maher?

  Pain and also like doing things to your body doesn't, I mean, some of them work. But that kind of stuff, I mean, the plumbing you're given. I'm not saying you shouldn't do it, I'm just saying. Can we consider that a little more seriously? That if you try to change the plumbing of your urinary tract, for example, I can't believe it's gonna work as good. And, you know, as any man knows, when you get to seventy, it doesn't work as good anyway.

• 43:01Speaker 05

  Like, is there, is there, and you're like, can you revert that? Like, is there a way to revert it?

• 43:05Bill Maher?

  No.

• 43:06Speaker 05

  See, that's scary. Like, people don't, I feel like people aren't thinking about it.

• 43:10Bill Maher?

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• 43:54Bill Maher?

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• 44:33Bill Maher?

  That is N-O-B-L-travel.com for up to forty-six percent off. After your purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them our show sent you. A doctor once explained to me that the bladder is, is like, the analogy she used was, like, vaginas when they,

• 45:01Bill Maher?

  when they, I don't know, you know, like, you know, like, something about.

• 45:07Speaker 05

  Yeah. Yeah. I'm waiting.

• 45:12Bill Maher?

  Like, it doesn't spring back. It like to, like, like, once the elasticity and the pushability is dissipated. These are technical terms. Don't try it at home, but once that has become enflabulated, it doesn't come back.

• 45:37Speaker 05

  Enflabulated. That's a big word. That's a big word.

• 45:40Bill Maher?

  So, like, a bladder is kind of like that. Like, when, like, when you're young, they say you piss like a racehorse. Because, you know, it just, it just pushes like it's crazy. And, you know, and then, at my age, you get up, if you're lucky, and I'm lucky at this point, once a night to pee. Which you never, I never did that at thirty.

• 46:03Speaker 05

  I know, I'm not looking forward to that.

• 46:04Bill Maher?

  I mean, when I was in my twenties, I would sleep, you know, a long time. Nothing, you sleep better when you're young. Wake up in bed.

• 46:14Bill Maher?

  Now, I would, if I woke up in bed, I'd have to pee. Jerk off, go back to sleep.

• 46:19Speaker 05

  I gotta get that in there. I had to get that in there.

• 46:21Bill Maher?

  I, I mean, I did. That was my life.

• 46:25Speaker 05

  Dude, there was, I recently, I slept seventeen hours straight one time.

• 46:28Bill Maher?

  Yeah, people your age can do that.

• 46:31Speaker 05

  I, I literally thought, like, I woke up and it was like the next day after the time I fell asleep, I'm like, am I alive? Like, what happened? That's never happened to me before. And I'm like, how did I not wake up to have to pee? I just, I don't know.

• 46:45Bill Maher?

  Because, because your bladder is not enflabulated.

• 46:48Speaker 05

  Exactly. And I'm not looking forward to it being enflabulated, enflabulated, whatever this word is.

• 46:54Bill Maher?

  I don't know what this word is.

• 46:55Speaker 05

  Yeah, did you come up with that?

• 46:56Bill Maher?

  I, I think I did.

• 46:58Speaker 05

  I like it.

• 46:58Bill Maher?

  I blame the pot.

• 46:59Speaker 05

  I'm gonna, I'm gonna add it to my dictionary. I really like it.

• 47:02Bill Maher?

  It was a very unscientific way of, I'm hoping getting the point across, but.

• 47:07Speaker 05

  You did it, though.

• 47:08Bill Maher?

  Everything as you get older, you know, gets hairier and closer to the ground. It's just.

• 47:14Speaker 05

  It's just how it is, unfortunately. It's just how it is.

• 47:17Bill Maher?

  But, but it's amazing the way, I mean, I never thought that I would, I mean, I played basketball for two hours last night. They thought that my father would do that at seventy. I mean, it was just insane. Well, he was dead at seventy-one, but, like, even at fifty, like, people in that era, they just didn't, like, think you could, like, it seemed like that, that you could stay in shape. Or, of course, he had kids. I think when you have kids, it takes a lot out of you. Like, I never had kids. I'm sorry, I'm sure kids are great. Except for that lady who just strangled three of them, but.

• 47:53Speaker 05

  I don't want kids either.

• 47:54Bill Maher?

  Oh, you don't? It's so interesting that you want a life made.

• 47:58Speaker 05

  I do.

• 47:58Bill Maher?

  But not kids.

• 47:59Speaker 05

  I think also that is a really big struggle. Because I can't find someone that also, like, doesn't want kids. I just don't want kids. I'm too selfish.

• 48:06Bill Maher?

  I, I, you're talking to this now.

• 48:08Speaker 05

  I'm just too selfish.

• 48:09Bill Maher?

  I made it to seventy.

• 48:10Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:11Bill Maher?

  And never had kids.

• 48:12Speaker 05

  There we go, I like that. There's a future. There's a future.

• 48:16Bill Maher?

  Yeah, no, I mean, I had my eye on the prize. I wandered off, ugh, so many things, so stupid. But that one, marriage, kids, I kind of always got it. No, whatever shit you're in now and however bad you're feeling, that is the fire from the frying pan. It just is.

• 48:35Speaker 05

  It is.

• 48:35Bill Maher?

  For me, not for everybody. I mean, a lot of people, of course, you know, I always say it, like, even celebrities have kids. There must be something to it. Because they don't need it. They have, they have fans, they have money. They travel, they just don't fucking need kids.

• 48:53Speaker 05

  Like, I want to be, I want to be like my babysitter for all my friends. Like, if you ever need to go on a break, I'll take care of your kid for that week. But like, after that, like, have them, I don't want kids.

• 49:01Bill Maher?

  So you don't dislike kids?

• 49:02Speaker 05

  I don't, I don't dislike kids. I just personally, like, I don't, this is gonna sound so weird. I don't see the appeal in having kids. You, you birthed this thing out of you, and now your body's, like, different for the rest of your life. Most of the time, they're probably gonna be a shithead anyways. They're gonna be little, little kid, annoying, spitting up on, like, ah.

• 49:23Bill Maher?

  You're, you're saying everything I said forty years ago.

• 49:26Speaker 05

  Yes, like, I don't, I don't want to have to do that.

• 49:27Bill Maher?

  Exactly. And more and more people feel that way.

• 49:31Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 49:31Bill Maher?

  To the point now where there is a counter movement led by people like Elon Musk, but he's not the only one, who, you know, are so, oh my god, they're, they're upset that we're not having enough babies. I'm like, I've been saying for, like, decades, have less babies. There's too many people here now.

• 49:48Speaker 05

  I was gonna say, isn't this the most people there's ever been on Earth?

• 49:51Bill Maher?

  Of course.

• 49:52Speaker 05

  Why are we freaking out about not having babies?

• 49:53Bill Maher?

  And we don't have enough resources for them now. Water, finite. They do not seem to understand, these geniuses of the world, what the word finite means. There's not, we, we're running out of water here as it is now in the southwest.

• 50:12Speaker 05

  Have you seen Avengers? Endgame?

• 50:14Bill Maher?

  Uh, no, I don't watch those kind of.

• 50:17Speaker 05

  You know, you know Thanos?

• 50:18Bill Maher?

  I, I've heard the name.

• 50:20Speaker 05

  I think he was on to something.

• 50:21Bill Maher?

  Who's that?

• 50:22Speaker 05

  He's the villain in, in Avengers. And basically what he did was he wiped out half the population.

• 50:27Bill Maher?

  Who are Avengers? They're like mutants or something?

• 50:29Speaker 05

  They're Iron Man, Captain America, the Hulk. You know those.

• 50:33Bill Maher?

  I know them all, but now let's go through it.

• 50:35Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 50:36Bill Maher?

  Avengers, that's a group? They're like.

• 50:38Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's, it's the Avengers.

• 50:40Bill Maher?

  It's like NATO, they're all part of the same.

• 50:42Speaker 05

  Yeah, so the Avenger movie, um, this is Marvel. So all the Avengers, they're like this group, and they help defeat the villain that's evading New York, because it's only ever New York City. That's coming to attack New York.

• 50:51Bill Maher?

  Really?

• 50:52Speaker 05

  I feel like, I feel like every single movie, it's New York City.

• 50:54Bill Maher?

  Yeah, because they're lazy, it's easier to shoot there.

• 50:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 50:57Bill Maher?

  Okay.

• 50:58Speaker 05

  But, um, yeah, they're, it's Iron Man.

• 51:01Speaker 05

  Captain America, The Hulk, Black Widow, and Hawkeye. And they're the Avengers.

• 51:05Bill Maher?

  Okay, I know all those. Captain America, that's my friend. That's, uh, who plays him?

• 51:14Speaker 05

  Chris Evans.

• 51:14Bill Maher?

  Chris Evans, yes.

• 51:15Speaker 05

  That's your friend?

• 51:16Bill Maher?

  Yes.

• 51:16Speaker 05

  I love that guy, yeah.

• 51:17Bill Maher?

  Oh, he's great.

• 51:18Speaker 05

  And then Iron Man?

• 51:19Bill Maher?

  Iron Man is Robert Downey.

• 51:21Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 51:23Speaker 05

  The Hulk?

• 51:24Bill Maher?

  Hulk is probably, don't say Mark Ruffalo.

• 51:28Speaker 05

  It is Mark Ruffalo.

• 51:29Bill Maher?

  Oh, my god. I can't, don't divert me into...

• 51:31Speaker 05

  And then Black Widow. You know who Black Widow is? You know it.

• 51:35Bill Maher?

  Scarlet your hands?

• 51:36Speaker 05

  Yep. Look at you!

• 51:37Bill Maher?

  Well, this is, this is what I call mind rape.

• 51:39Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 51:40Bill Maher?

  Mind rape means things I did not want in my mind.

• 51:44Speaker 05

  I see.

• 51:44Bill Maher?

  That because society, and look, I gotta give some credit. When you're that big, it just gets in my mind. I never knew, wanted to know who the Kardashians were dating, but I can't help it.

• 51:54Speaker 05

  Yep, can't help it, you just see it.

• 51:56Bill Maher?

  Okay, so, but the one I don't know is Hawkeye?

• 51:59Speaker 05

  Hawkeye, he's Jeremy Renner.

• 52:01Bill Maher?

  I love Jeremy Renner.

• 52:02Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 52:03Bill Maher?

  He's Hawkeye?

• 52:04Speaker 05

  Yeah, he's Hawkeye.

• 52:05Bill Maher?

  And what is his power?

• 52:06Speaker 05

  Um, he can, he'll never miss with his bow and arrow.

• 52:10Bill Maher?

  Really?

• 52:11Speaker 05

  I know, I know, he's the worst Avenger. I love him, I do love Jeremy Renner. But he was, he's the worst Avenger. But anyways, Thanos, his whole spiel and thing.

• 52:20Bill Maher?

  Who's that, who plays that?

• 52:21Speaker 05

  Thanos is, uh, Josh, no, uh...

• 52:25Bill Maher?

  And he's the bad guy?

• 52:26Speaker 05

  I don't know, it's like he's CGI, he's big and purple.

• 52:29Bill Maher?

  And it's always this one guy's the villain?

• 52:31Speaker 05

  No, no, no, he was just the villain for like two, maybe three movies. Because he was like the big villain. But that they were like leading up to, you know, they had previous movies where there was like little, you know, side bad guys. And then Thanos was the villain. Anyways, Thanos, his ideal, his idea that he wanted to do was there was not enough resources on planet Earth, so he wiped out half the population. He genuinely believed that he was doing a good thing for people, because now the people who survived...

• 52:54Bill Maher?

  Didn't, uh, didn't one of Batman's villains have the same plan? I feel like there's like two, or best, at best, three plans. Uh, that, okay, we'll get a, a virus that takes over the world, but only I have the cure.

• 53:10Speaker 05

  But he won, but Thanos won, that was the crazy part. He actually...

• 53:13Bill Maher?

  Wiped out half the world?

• 53:14Speaker 05

  He actually wiped out half the population in the movie.

• 53:16Bill Maher?

  Why, I'd like to shake his hand.

• 53:18Speaker 05

  Right, that's what I said!

• 53:19Bill Maher?

  I'm kidding, of course.

• 53:20Speaker 05

  I'm joking, I'm joking, I'm joking.

• 53:21Bill Maher?

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• 54:04Bill Maher?

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• 54:46Speaker 05

  I definitely think that like, it was like, it was a good idea for a villain. Because like, I feel like a lot of people I've seen online debating like, oh, Thanos was actually on to something. Like, what if he decided to just take out like all the bad people and then all the good people left? And then there was resources? So like, I get it. Obviously, it's bad, but like, I get it.

• 55:03Bill Maher?

  Well, apropos of what I was saying about Lioness and how right she is about how we have to conduct ourselves. Uh, I was just watching the new Jack Ryan movie, which I love the Jack Ryan movies. And I love, uh, John Krasinski, he's great in them, he's great in everything.

• 55:18Speaker 05

  I love John Krasinski.

• 55:19Bill Maher?

  Yeah, he's so great. That, he does that other series about how everyone has to be really quiet. I think, I think it's called The Perfect Marriage.

• 55:28Speaker 05

  Okay. Perfect Marriage?

• 55:30Bill Maher?

  No, but they have to be very quiet.

• 55:32Speaker 05

  Love that, love that.

• 55:33Bill Maher?

  Very quiet.

• 55:34Speaker 05

  Okay, through to that one.

• 55:35Bill Maher?

  But like, in, uh, I just watched the new Jack Ryan one. And like, there's a bad guy in it who, I'm literally saying, wait, I'm actually with the bad guy. Because the bad guy is the one, now, maybe he goes too far. Because he's trying to prove that we need to have more of the post 9/11, uh, mentality to deal with the people who are really, uh, you know, gunning for us.

• 56:05Speaker 05

  Right.

• 56:05Bill Maher?

  Uh, and, you know, when you do that, you always have to sacrifice a little bit of humanity. You know, if somebody you know is about to blow up the Brooklyn Bridge and you have them, do you torture them to, so you can save thousands of people on the bridge? I would say yes. But, you know, people who are very pure would say no. And that's the fight in the movie.

• 56:33Speaker 05

  Yes, yes, I see, I see.

• 56:35Bill Maher?

  And, and I was literally like, wait, I, I think I'm, I'm actually with the bad guy.

• 56:40Speaker 05

  I'm siding with that.

• 56:41Bill Maher?

  I mean, there's one thing to be like, understanding of the bad guy. Because that's like The Godfather, perfect example. You really understand why they are the way they are. And that's a good movie where you understand the bad guy's point of view. Terrorists do have a point of view.

• 56:56Speaker 05

  Everyone has a point of view.

• 56:57Bill Maher?

  Right. But this was like, no, I'm with this guy.

• 57:00Speaker 05

  Okay, I, how many Jack Ryan movies are there?

• 57:03Bill Maher?

  Oh, well, Harrison Ford used to play him.

• 57:05Speaker 05

  Yes, I didn't know that.

• 57:06Bill Maher?

  Right, it was, uh, there was a series with Harrison Ford. And then he aged out, and then they brought it back with John, um...

• 57:14Speaker 05

  I feel like they're doing that to a lot of his movies.

• 57:16Bill Maher?

  See, that's the thing. My heroes are not like Marvel types. My, I have heroes, just like you do. But they're like, much more like in the real world.

• 57:25Speaker 05

  Who's one of your heroes?

• 57:25Bill Maher?

  Jason Bourne.

• 57:27Speaker 05

  Okay, I like Jason Bourne.

• 57:28Bill Maher?

  Robert McCall. You know who that is? The Equalizer?

• 57:32Speaker 05

  Okay, yes, now that you've said that, yes.

• 57:34Bill Maher?

  Okay, there's three of those. That's my guy.

• 57:36Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 57:37Bill Maher?

  Elizabeth Salander.

• 57:38Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 57:39Bill Maher?

  That's the bitch.

• 57:40Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 57:40Bill Maher?

  The baddest bitch ever.

• 57:42Speaker 05

  Do you want to know one of my favorite movies? Who I think is like, this is who I need as a security guard. Taken, Liam Neeson? I feel like he belongs on that list. I feel like he belongs on that list.

• 57:53Bill Maher?

  Yes, except that the succeeding movies to the first one, which was awesome, didn't live up.

• 58:00Speaker 05

  I agree. The first one's the only one.

• 58:02Bill Maher?

  You know, it was a little, what I call diehard syndrome. Diehard, he finds himself in this like, once in a lifetime situation. And then he finds himself in it eight more times.

• 58:13Speaker 05

  I do agree, but I only...

• 58:14Bill Maher?

  It's like, oh, my god. This weird thing that only happens once in a lifetime is happening again.

• 58:20Speaker 05

  Again and again, and again.

• 58:21Bill Maher?

  Maybe it's me.

• 58:22Speaker 05

  Like, maybe he needs to like, just lock his family away. Because like, they just keep getting kidnapped. They just literally keep getting kidnapped.

• 58:28Bill Maher?

  Exactly.

• 58:29Speaker 05

  But I, yeah, I love those movies. I love the Taken movies, I think they're so awesome.

• 58:33Bill Maher?

  Elizabeth Salander, she's the girl with the dragon tattoo.

• 58:37Speaker 05

  Okay, yes.

• 58:37Bill Maher?

  Put that on your list.

• 58:38Speaker 05

  Okay, I've, I've seen that, I've seen that.

• 58:40Bill Maher?

  So good.

• 58:41Speaker 05

  That is a really good movie.

• 58:42Bill Maher?

  So good.

• 58:42Speaker 05

  It's been a while since I've seen that.

• 58:44Bill Maher?

  You can watch the original Swedish, it's three movies in Sweden.

• 58:49Speaker 05

  Really?

• 58:49Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 58:49Speaker 05

  I didn't know that.

• 58:50Bill Maher?

  And they're all good. But David Fincher here in America, I gotta say, gotta stick up for the Americans. He actually made it better.

• 58:58Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 58:58Bill Maher?

  He made an American movie of all three and made the definitive version, I think. And, and the Rooney Mara performance as Elizabeth Salander is just, you know, a notch above brilliant. And she's, she's the baddest bitch, I think, ever. Lioness is close.

• 59:15Speaker 05

  I need to add it, I need to add it.

• 59:16Bill Maher?

  Oh, yeah. Look, you're, you're getting such a good list of movies.

• 59:21Speaker 05

  I know, I'm so, I'm so glad.

• 59:22Bill Maher?

  You're never gonna get laid, you're gonna be home watching movies all the time.

• 59:24Speaker 05

  For real, for real, listen. I used to grow up watching like, films with my mom. That's the one thing she liked doing. She would hang out with me and she would, she would essentially force me to sit down and watch films with her. And I remember like, oh, I don't feel like watching a movie. No, she would make me sit down and watch it, because she's like, you need to be cultured. And, um, there was, eventually...

• 59:43Bill Maher?

  Your mother, your grandmother?

• 59:44Speaker 05

  This is my mom.

• 59:44Bill Maher?

  Your mom?

• 59:45Speaker 05

  And then there was one point eventually...

• 59:46Bill Maher?

  So she wasn't always on drugs?

• 59:47Speaker 05

  No, she wasn't always on drugs. This was after they got out of rehab, you know, they were trying to like, make her reconnect with us. And I love my parents. And they were like, trying to reconnect with us. So I think she was like, trying to force me to watch movies with her so we could, I could spend time with her. But I'm like, ah, I just, you know, I don't really feel like it. And she would literally force me to watch movies with her, now I can't...

• 1:00:03Bill Maher?

  Like, what movies did you, do you remember seeing in that way?

• 1:00:05Speaker 05

  I remember like, uh, the one that I really remember was The Help. I'm glad she made me watch it, that's a great movie, great movie. But like, I just really, I remember. A Seven, that was another movie.

• 1:00:15Bill Maher?

  Shit in the pie, isn't that the shit in the pie?

• 1:00:17Speaker 05

  Yep, shit in the pie, yeah, shit in the pie. She made me watch Seven. Head in the Box? Like, there was just a lot of movies she made me sit down and watch. And like, now I can't sit still and watch a movie. And I don't know if it's because of that, or if because like, I developed a syndrome.

• 1:00:29Bill Maher?

  Did she ever make you watch a movie that wasn't so disturbing?

• 1:00:32Speaker 05

  I know, right? Those two are crazy, like, it's just, I don't know. I'm trying to think of other movies she, I like, I genuinely blocked. Like, I just watched The Notebook for the first time the other day.

• 1:00:43Bill Maher?

  I mean...

• 1:00:44Speaker 05

  That's a great movie.

• 1:00:45Bill Maher?

  It is a great movie, you can't, you can't front. I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's one of those cultural...

• 1:00:54Speaker 05

  Uh huh. Like, see, now I wish I sat down and watched movies with my mom because I didn't. And now I'm not cultured. Like, I wish I did that.

• 1:01:02Bill Maher?

  Well, first of all, you're not supposed to be cultured at twenty-one.

• 1:01:06Speaker 05

  Well, I want to be cultured at twenty-one.

• 1:01:07Bill Maher?

  You're way ahead of the game as it is.

• 1:01:09Speaker 05

  Well, thank you. I appreciate that.

• 1:01:11Bill Maher?

  Not that you should slow down.

• 1:01:12Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 1:01:12Bill Maher?

  Keep going.

• 1:01:12Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:13Bill Maher?

  Don't get complacent. But, you know, nobody's cultured at twenty-one, so, and nobody's rich. So you're way ahead of the game. I wouldn't like beat yourself up about anything.

• 1:01:24Speaker 05

  Thank you. I feel like I find myself doing that a lot. And I need to cut myself a little more slack, you know?

• 1:01:29Bill Maher?

  It's been a lifelong struggle with me.

• 1:01:31Speaker 05

  Uh huh.

• 1:01:32Bill Maher?

  There's a bad side to it, which is, yes, I mean, you can be too hard on yourself. There's a good side to it, which is like, yeah, it also makes you better.

• 1:01:40Speaker 05

  Uh huh.

• 1:01:41Bill Maher?

  And it makes you a winner.

• 1:01:42Speaker 05

  That's what I tell myself.

• 1:01:43Bill Maher?

  It does.

• 1:01:44Speaker 05

  That's what I tell myself. It does. Unfortunately, I can't sit here and lie, it does.

• 1:01:47Bill Maher?

  You know, it does. It makes you a winner if you're never satisfied with yourself.

• 1:01:51Speaker 05

  Yeah, I pride my work ethic because of that reason.

• 1:01:53Bill Maher?

  Yeah. And you will find in your life, I'm sure you'll be the girl boss very soon of, I mean, with this kind of money, you already have to boss some people around, like the people who manage your money.

• 1:02:04Speaker 05

  Oh, and I hate it. I hate it so. I don't like telling people what to do. I like, I'm really bad right now.

• 1:02:10Bill Maher?

  Just do it nicely.

• 1:02:11Speaker 05

  I'm learning how to say no.

• 1:02:12Bill Maher?

  Yeah, well, you should.

• 1:02:13Speaker 05

  I'm finally learning how to say no. I can't say no to people. That's something. That's my biggest fault. Like, I cannot say no.

• 1:02:20Bill Maher?

  Well, you're a virgin. Plainly, you can't.

• 1:02:22Speaker 05

  Well, that is true. That is. Well, like, that's the thing. Like, I would, I need to show you a picture of me growing up. Like, I look completely different than I look now. I was probably a hundred and fifty pounds more heavier.

• 1:02:33Bill Maher?

  What?

• 1:02:33Speaker 05

  Yes, I was.

• 1:02:34Bill Maher?

  That's fat.

• 1:02:35Speaker 05

  I was fat in middle school. I was big.

• 1:02:37Bill Maher?

  A hundred and fifty pounds?

• 1:02:39Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:02:39Bill Maher?

  That's another whole you.

• 1:02:41Speaker 05

  Yeah, I know.

• 1:02:42Bill Maher?

  That's obese. That's not just fat.

• 1:02:43Speaker 05

  I was big. I was, okay, maybe not a hundred and fifty, maybe like one thirty-five, one. But I was big. And I remember, like, I would, I would look down in the shower and I couldn't see my feet anymore. And I was like, yeah, I can't do this anymore. What was I thinking?

• 1:02:56Bill Maher?

  What were you thinking?

• 1:02:58Speaker 05

  Apparently only about food. Apparently only about food.

• 1:03:02Bill Maher?

  Well.

• 1:03:05Speaker 05

  I, and I love food. I love.

• 1:03:07Bill Maher?

  Who doesn't?

• 1:03:07Speaker 05

  If I could have any superpower, it would be to eat without gaining any, like, weight or calories.

• 1:03:12Bill Maher?

  Yeah, you and the rest of the world.

• 1:03:14Speaker 05

  Well, like, if you could have any superpower, what would you pick? You wouldn't pick that.

• 1:03:17Bill Maher?

  Not that.

• 1:03:17Speaker 05

  Exactly. What would you pick?

• 1:03:20Bill Maher?

  Great question, Thanos.

• 1:03:25Bill Maher?

  My heroes, you gotta watch the Jason Bourne movies.

• 1:03:29Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:03:29Bill Maher?

  You gotta watch the Equalizer movies. There's nobody.

• 1:03:32Speaker 05

  I do need to see that.

• 1:03:33Bill Maher?

  Who really compares to Denzel Washington when it comes to being that kind of a badass.

• 1:03:38Speaker 05

  I do love Denzel Washington.

• 1:03:39Bill Maher?

  Oh, my god.

• 1:03:41Speaker 05

  I love that guy.

• 1:03:42Bill Maher?

  He's the Equalizer, which was a TV show, you know, back in the day. It's just about a guy who equalizes things when somebody who has a terrible, terrible time in life needs some sort of a hero, some sort of a patron. And he takes on these cases. He's literally an Uber driver. But he has incredible skills from being in the service, you know, he can like, he, there's, there's always three or four scenes in the movies where, you know, four, four or five, he always can take out four or five people at once.

• 1:04:12Speaker 05

  Of course.

• 1:04:12Bill Maher?

  And usually they're some sort of punks.

• 1:04:14Speaker 05

  Uh huh. Those are my favorite kind of movies.

• 1:04:16Bill Maher?

  And you can't wait till he does it to them. You just cannot wait.

• 1:04:19Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:04:20Bill Maher?

  And, uh, but he just does it, I mean, everybody does that. John Wick and everybody else, and I'm sure they're all good movies, but nobody does it like him. And nobody does it, this character just has such humanity. And also what I love about it, I must say, it's a black director, black star, non-racial. Like, there's no, like, he will help a white person as well as a black person, you know? It's, it's not like, well, black, white people are bad, so he just, he just sees people.

• 1:04:52Speaker 05

  I love that.

• 1:04:53Bill Maher?

  I, I love it too.

• 1:04:54Speaker 05

  I love that.

• 1:04:54Bill Maher?

  And I, I think it's, I think it's deliberate. I think they know what they're doing.

• 1:04:58Speaker 05

  And this is the Equalizer?

• 1:04:59Bill Maher?

  There's the, yeah, there's three of them.

• 1:05:01Speaker 05

  Okay. I mean, I've seen billboards. I have seen billboards about the Equalizer before while my, I spend my time here in L.A.

• 1:05:08Bill Maher?

  Yeah. I don't know if they're working on a fourth one. I mean, the, the director, Antoine Fuqua, he and Denzel did Training Day together. Did you ever see that one?

• 1:05:17Speaker 05

  I haven't seen it.

• 1:05:18Bill Maher?

  You will love that one too. You have such, you're such a lucky girl. Because you're so young that all these movies are available to you to see for the first time.

• 1:05:28Speaker 05

  I know. There are so many movies.

• 1:05:28Bill Maher?

  I've seen them all three times.

• 1:05:30Speaker 05

  See.

• 1:05:30Bill Maher?

  So they could provide some joy for me because they're so good, but not as much as the first time.

• 1:05:35Speaker 05

  You've seen them already. Yes.

• 1:05:36Bill Maher?

  You get to see Training Day for the first time.

• 1:05:38Speaker 05

  Okay, I'm gonna add that to my list.

• 1:05:40Bill Maher?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:05:40Speaker 05

  There's so many movies that I'm excited to watch for the first time because I hear so many people tell me that. One movie that I am really excited to sit down and watch is Interstellar. I've never seen Interstellar.

• 1:05:50Bill Maher?

  Is that the one where Matthew McConaughey is a scientist?

• 1:05:54Speaker 05

  Yes, and he goes to space and like it travels, time travels really fast, and I know his daughter gets old and he travels back and his daughter's old all of a sudden. That's all I know about it.

• 1:06:03Bill Maher?

  I think he's a great actor.

• 1:06:04Speaker 05

  But apparently that's really good.

• 1:06:05Bill Maher?

  I don't remember that one as well, and, uh, those ones where we're like going through the wormhole.

• 1:06:10Speaker 05

  Uh huh. See, but I like stuff like, I love space.

• 1:06:13Bill Maher?

  I like space movies too.

• 1:06:14Speaker 05

  I love space movies.

• 1:06:16Bill Maher?

  But I don't know about the wormhole.

• 1:06:18Speaker 05

  I don't know. I've never seen it. I've never seen it.

• 1:06:20Bill Maher?

  Well, what, see, the problem with those kinds of movies is that, you know, we're always trying to get to a new place.

• 1:06:26Speaker 05

  Uh huh.

• 1:06:26Bill Maher?

  Um, uh, cause this, we fucked up the earth, whatever. But the problem is that, like, the next nearest place where we could actually maybe, we don't even know, but maybe survive because we're humans and we need air and shit.

• 1:06:40Speaker 05

  Air and shit.

• 1:06:41Bill Maher?

  It's like, takes like ninety years.

• 1:06:43Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:06:44Bill Maher?

  So you have to like put people in a state of suspended animation.

• 1:06:48Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:06:48Bill Maher?

  So that ninety years from now.

• 1:06:50Speaker 05

  Cryo sleep.

• 1:06:51Bill Maher?

  Yes, cryo sleep. Exactly.

• 1:06:53Speaker 05

  I've seen the movies.

• 1:06:54Bill Maher?

  Yeah. I mean, there's one called Passengers.

• 1:06:57Speaker 05

  I've seen it multiple times.

• 1:06:59Bill Maher?

  Oh, you like that one?

• 1:07:00Speaker 05

  I do like Passengers with Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence. I want to meet Jennifer Lawrence. Oh, my god, I love her.

• 1:07:05Bill Maher?

  Really?

• 1:07:05Speaker 05

  She's so awesome. I love her so much. But, yeah, I love that movie. I think that's a great movie.

• 1:07:09Bill Maher?

  She's a great actress. She is.

• 1:07:10Speaker 05

  Would you go to space if you had the opportunity?

• 1:07:12Bill Maher?

  Fuck no.

• 1:07:13Speaker 05

  Oh, you don't? Why?

• 1:07:14Bill Maher?

  I don't go east of La Brea.

• 1:07:15Speaker 05

  Really?

• 1:07:16Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I mean.

• 1:07:17Speaker 05

  Really?

• 1:07:18Bill Maher?

  I'm kidding, but I'm, I'm, uh, you know, Sophie, every decade of your life, you, uh, have a different set of priorities and things that are important to you, and very often friends and jobs and, like, at this point,

• 1:07:35Bill Maher?

  and you'll see, it'll, it's about like comfort and acceptance. And, uh, I just would not be comfortable in space. I want to be comfortable.

• 1:07:43Speaker 05

  I totally agree.

• 1:07:44Bill Maher?

  I just want to feel good every day.

• 1:07:46Speaker 05

  Uh huh.

• 1:07:47Bill Maher?

  Every day has to be a good day.

• 1:07:48Speaker 05

  What do you do to make your, like, make yourself feel good every day?

• 1:07:51Bill Maher?

  I mean, my life is good. I'm lucky. I love my job. I have the best job in the world. And then I have this side job, which I love too. I'm loving this. I love that I get to, once a week, talk to people who either I don't know at all, like you, or somebody who maybe I know very well, and then that's fun, or, or I sort of know, and now we're really getting to know each other.

• 1:08:14Speaker 05

  Yes, yes.

• 1:08:14Bill Maher?

  You know, I love that this whole concept of doing a podcast like this, that is not an interview, it's just talking to somebody. I think it worked out great. It's, I think it's very unique in the podcasting world. I think they're all just interviews. And, uh, so I love that. And everything else is fine. As long, you know, the, the worst thing about seventy is you're dead sooner.

• 1:08:43Speaker 05

  Well, it's just true. It's just the truth, unfortunately.

• 1:08:48Bill Maher?

  Hmm, yeah, that thing. Or not.

• 1:08:50Speaker 05

  It's just sad.

• 1:08:51Bill Maher?

  But AI could reverse that.

• 1:08:53Speaker 05

  You think?

• 1:08:54Bill Maher?

  And that is very possible in this, yes, that is very possible now.

• 1:08:58Speaker 05

  It's kind of scary to think about. I don't like thinking about AI.

• 1:09:00Bill Maher?

  As long as I'm still like exactly where I'm doing what I used to do my whole life, um, I'm good. But, yeah, that is the downside, is that you're, like I said at the beginning, you're on a shorter leash with your health. Of course, what you find out is that you never really needed the drugs to begin with, not in that volume.

• 1:09:18Speaker 05

  Yeah, I feel like a lot of people have that same experience.

• 1:09:20Bill Maher?

  A lot.

• 1:09:21Speaker 05

  A lot of people, yeah.

• 1:09:23Bill Maher?

  It's a shame because you do it because your body can take it.

• 1:09:26Speaker 05

  Yeah, and then you, you don't, you just think you can keep going because you're so young and you're like, fuck it, I own the world.

• 1:09:31Bill Maher?

  I had Hunter Biden on my show last week and he said, I mean, I didn't bring this up with him.

• 1:09:39Speaker 05

  But he was really hooked on drugs, right?

• 1:09:42Bill Maher?

  Oh, mu- very much so. And he, and very honest about it.

• 1:09:45Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 1:09:45Bill Maher?

  Been sober seven years.

• 1:09:47Speaker 05

  Amazing.

• 1:09:47Bill Maher?

  But yes, I mean, that's where, that's why we have videos of him fucking hookers with a crack pipe in his mouth. Um, he owns it all.

• 1:09:54Speaker 05

  That exists?

• 1:09:56Bill Maher?

  Oh, yeah, very big story. That was a very big story.

• 1:09:59Speaker 05

  I see. I don't get it. I, I try not to get into the politics. I got pulled into politics and I hate it.

• 1:10:04Bill Maher?

  You should be aware of what's going on.

• 1:10:06Speaker 05

  I totally agree. And see, that's what happened. I was trying to become a little aware. I, you know, I live in Florida. I was like, you know, voting's coming up. Let me see what my options are.

• 1:10:16Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 1:10:17Speaker 05

  And then I see Fishback calling me out. I'm like, why do I even try?

• 1:10:20Bill Maher?

  Is that right? He did?

• 1:10:21Speaker 05

  Yes, he did.

• 1:10:22Bill Maher?

  That guy Fishback called you out?

• 1:10:23Speaker 05

  James Fishback. He called me out.

• 1:10:25Bill Maher?

  And he is running for senator?

• 1:10:26Speaker 05

  Uh, he lost the primary.

• 1:10:27Bill Maher?

  He lost the primary?

• 1:10:28Speaker 05

  He did just lose the primary. Uh, he had ten percent.

• 1:10:32Bill Maher?

  It's funny because on my show Friday is Byron Donalds.

• 1:10:35Speaker 05

  Oh, really?

• 1:10:37Bill Maher?

  Who is probably gonna be your next governor.

• 1:10:39Speaker 05

  You think?

• 1:10:40Bill Maher?

  Well, he's-

• 1:10:41Speaker 05

  It's him and Jay Collins right now.

• 1:10:42Bill Maher?

  No, it's him again. No, he won the primary.

• 1:10:45Speaker 05

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 1:10:46Bill Maher?

  He, he's running against a, a, a Democrat named David Jolly.

• 1:10:51Speaker 05

  That's his name, yep.

• 1:10:52Bill Maher?

  Who was a Republican up until very recently. He just switched parties. Because he says the Republicans are too extreme, and he's correct. I like David. He used to be on my show also. But Byron is on. And we're gonna get into Florida politics. And it is an interesting situation you got there in Florida. Because Florida is like, it's the whole country in microcosm. It's everything. You got your Jews down in Miami. You got your Cubans. You got your rednecks.

• 1:11:22Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 1:11:22Bill Maher?

  Uh, and you got the middle of the state where you are. Which is like a perfect, like, middle. This is the middle of the country. That, are they really extreme Republican? No, are they extreme? No, they're just Tampa.

• 1:11:36Speaker 05

  Uh huh, literally.

• 1:11:37Bill Maher?

  I played Tampa a million times. I love Tampa.

• 1:11:39Speaker 05

  Really?

• 1:11:40Bill Maher?

  Great strip clubs.

• 1:11:41Speaker 05

  I'm glad. Have you ever been to the penthouse?

• 1:11:44Bill Maher?

  Is that the strip club?

• 1:11:45Speaker 05

  That's a strip club that they have like the number one rated best steaks.

• 1:11:48Bill Maher?

  I, okay, well, in my own defense, I've never had food at a strip club.

• 1:11:54Speaker 05

  No, no, no, like, it's like, it's like- It's like a strip club in the restaurant.

• 1:11:57Bill Maher?

  I know. They all are. But I'd like some credit for that I never ordered food in a strip club.

• 1:12:01Speaker 05

  I only heard things. Let me, let me clarify also.

• 1:12:03Bill Maher?

  I'm sure I've been there. I don't remember the names. I call every strip club The Platinum Lady.

• 1:12:08Speaker 05

  The Platinum Lady, okay.

• 1:12:10Bill Maher?

  Was I at The Platinum Lady in Tampa? I bet I was.

• 1:12:13Speaker 05

  Yeah, I bet you you were. I bet you you were.

• 1:12:14Bill Maher?

  And I don't apologize for it.

• 1:12:15Speaker 05

  That's just the best strip club in Tampa, unfortunately.

• 1:12:18Bill Maher?

  Well, you know, I was on the road for all those years. What are you gonna do after this show? Like, I'm not gonna go to a bar. I'm not gonna go to a club. I, I don't wanna eat, cuz that's bad on the road, if, leading late. Uh, it's a place that is quiet. Not quiet, but like, not so loud like a, like a club. Nobody can hear anybody, anybody talk in a club. You, you're definitely gonna wind up with hearing loss if you spend a lot of time in a club.

• 1:12:45Speaker 05

  I will say, clubs are not my favorite, but I love going to a strip club.

• 1:12:49Bill Maher?

  There we go.

• 1:12:50Speaker 05

  I actually love going to a strip club.

• 1:12:52Bill Maher?

  Let's put it on the agenda.

• 1:12:52Speaker 05

  And I don't go anywhere. I don't go there for anything freaky. I just like, I love watching-

• 1:12:57Bill Maher?

  Strip clubs have become the new after-hours clubs.

• 1:12:59Speaker 05

  Yes, they have. They have.

• 1:13:01Bill Maher?

  And people have not caught on, some people, to that. It's just a place where the, the temperature for bullshit is lower. Possibly because the women are naked already.

• 1:13:12Speaker 05

  That is true.

• 1:13:12Bill Maher?

  It might have something to do with it.

• 1:13:14Speaker 05

  That is true.

• 1:13:15Bill Maher?

  But it's, but that's not even the most of it. And you can make of it what you want. If you go in thinking, oh, I'm gonna get a handjob in the champagne room, you're an idiot. I mean, maybe you will, but why you would want to, I have no idea. Or even go in the champagne room. But, like, can, it's, it's funny. Strip clubs are both the place that is the most full of shit in a way, but also can be the most honest. I mean, the most full of shit in that, like, most of the guys in there are pathetic and the girls are just trying to separate them from their money, and it's not that hard to do.

• 1:13:46Speaker 05

  Not, not hard at all.

• 1:13:47Bill Maher?

  But because it has this sort of different vibe. It's kinda like when you go to the gay club.

• 1:13:52Speaker 05

  Uh huh.

• 1:13:53Bill Maher?

  It's just a different vibe. It's just more honest.

• 1:13:56Speaker 05

  I agree. I agree. See, like, I like to talk to the strippers. I'm like, like-

• 1:14:00Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 1:14:00Speaker 05

  What got you here? I wanna know your, your life history.

• 1:14:03Bill Maher?

  First of all, how's that, that different than OnlyFans or anything, or any other part of the masturbation economy? Most of this economy runs on making men masturbate. It does.

• 1:14:15Speaker 05

  You're very true. Very true.

• 1:14:16Bill Maher?

  Is that, I mean, do you ever think about that?

• 1:14:18Speaker 05

  No, I think about it all the time. It's my job. It's literally my job.

• 1:14:23Bill Maher?

  To make men masturbate? Yeah. And, and you're part of an army of workers. I've said this publicly. I'll say it again. When you scroll through Pornhub, which I do, I look on Pornhub, never anything weird.

• 1:14:39Speaker 05

  Yeah, just research purposes.

• 1:14:41Bill Maher?

  Not research. Masturbation purposes. But I'm not looking at anything weird. Again, I'm pretty vanilla.

• 1:14:47Speaker 05

  Okay, okay.

• 1:14:48Bill Maher?

  I don't even like it when the guy comes into the picture. I don't need to see a dick. I'm the dick.

• 1:14:53Speaker 05

  There we go. The imagination.

• 1:14:54Bill Maher?

  But hot girls, like, acting sexy for the camera? Uh, yeah.

• 1:14:59Speaker 05

  You buy that?

• 1:15:00Bill Maher?

  It's just like Playboy magazine come to life.

• 1:15:02Speaker 05

  Exactly, exactly.

• 1:15:04Bill Maher?

  Okay, but if you scroll, it is literally never-ending. The amount, you could see a different girl in endless numbers of videos. This tells me that there is just an incredible amount of women in this country who make their lick, living, lick, make their licking.

• 1:15:24Speaker 05

  They're licking. I mean, they're licking something.

• 1:15:26Bill Maher?

  Make their living in some way making men masturbate. It's just a crazy fucked-up society we live in.

• 1:15:34Speaker 05

  I mean, who built that system, though?

• 1:15:37Bill Maher?

  What do you mean?

• 1:15:37Speaker 05

  Like, who, who created that system? I feel like the, the, it wouldn't be there if there wasn't someone buying the product.

• 1:15:45Bill Maher?

  Well, it's a good question, but I don't think you can lay it at the doorstep of one person.

• 1:15:49Speaker 05

  Agreed.

• 1:15:50Bill Maher?

  Or one type of person.

• 1:15:51Speaker 05

  Agreed.

• 1:15:52Bill Maher?

  I would say, I would, one group of people I would criticize is the people who have been in charge or have contributed to our educational system. Because you plainly have created an entire generation of women who, if they didn't go to college, could only make their living sucking dick on the internet. Or, or pretending to, or in some way, uh, getting sperm to come out of richer men's penises while a baby cried in the other room.

• 1:16:27Speaker 05

  Shit, shit. Laying it out on them. Fuck.

• 1:16:36Speaker 05

  Not the, not the baby. Not the baby crying in the other room.

• 1:16:41Bill Maher?

  Well, see, you don't have that.

• 1:16:42Speaker 05

  Yeah, and I don't ever want that.

• 1:16:44Bill Maher?

  But that-

• 1:16:46Speaker 05

  That's a, that's a reality. That's a reality.

• 1:16:48Bill Maher?

  Doesn't go on.

• 1:16:49Speaker 05

  Oh, it's a reality for sure. For sure.

• 1:16:52Bill Maher?

  No, I've ne, I wouldn't even know how to get on OnlyFans. That's how technologically sophisticated I am.

• 1:16:58Speaker 05

  It took me a while to figure out, honestly.

• 1:17:00Bill Maher?

  But I really, and as much as I've heard about it, I still really don't know what it is, except that I know. I don't know a lot. I know, I know-

• 1:17:13Speaker 05

  Let me explain.

• 1:17:13Bill Maher?

  Thank you.

• 1:17:14Speaker 05

  Please let me explain.

• 1:17:15Bill Maher?

  Thank you so much.

• 1:17:16Speaker 05

  Um, I would love to. You know, just helping you out.

• 1:17:18Bill Maher?

  You're awesome, by the way.

• 1:17:19Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 1:17:20Bill Maher?

  I mean, uh, thank you for being that, because like, really, it's so easy for me to sit here, as I often do with, you know, some guy who's around my age. We have the same sensibilities and the same background. We know the same things. We lived through the same things. That's easy. This is always a little harder. Not with you.

• 1:17:38Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 1:17:39Bill Maher?

  I hope you take that as a compliment. I mean it that way, very, very sincerely.

• 1:17:42Speaker 05

  I do, actually. Thank you. I really appreciate that. Well, OnlyFans, I'm obviously on the site, so I very, I know it very well. It is a subscription-based platform. So you can go on there and you can sell anything, essentially. You have full autonomy over it. You make an account. I had to put my ID in, put my bank information in, my social security, everything, and boom, I had an OnlyFans account. You can do anything. I know people who sell their workout plans. I know people who sell their recipes for their cook, you know, their cake that they made. It's really anything. Obviously, porn has taken it over.

• 1:18:15Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 1:18:15Speaker 05

  But it was originally made to be a place where gym bros can like sell their workout plans to other-

• 1:18:21Bill Maher?

  So content creators and the content can be anything.

• 1:18:24Speaker 05

  Exactly, exactly.

• 1:18:26Bill Maher?

  But a lot of it is making men masturbate.

• 1:18:28Speaker 05

  A lot of it. Unfortunately, pornography has flooded OnlyFans.

• 1:18:32Bill Maher?

  As it did every, uh, whenever there's a new technology, the first thing they do is figure out how to use it to-

• 1:18:39Speaker 05

  No, actually, actually, that is very true. That is very true. But yeah, you can do anything on OnlyFans. You can, it does, it's not, it's basically the pornography site now, but I'm trying to change that.

• 1:18:50Bill Maher?

  But everybody on it doesn't do the same level of pornography.

• 1:18:56Speaker 05

  Exactly.

• 1:18:56Bill Maher?

  I had Shannon Elizabeth here recently. Delightful. Are you familiar with Shannon?

• 1:19:01Speaker 05

  I do, yes, I am.

• 1:19:02Bill Maher?

  She was in the American Pie movies and, you know, an icon and still a beautiful woman and obviously has a lot of fans. Um, uh, and so she does it. But I, I couldn't really get a straight answer about what exactly, uh, she seemed to like, uh, you know, wanna be very cagey about, like, uh, I, I guess this is because, like, you have millions of men that can't all be thinking that they're directly communicating with you, can they?

• 1:19:35Speaker 05

  Let's dissect this.

• 1:19:37Bill Maher?

  Let's dissect it. That's what I wanted. Thank you.

• 1:19:39Speaker 05

  Let's dissect this. So, uh, obviously, when you join, there's someone's account. I have my account. And it is, I think it's a base, four ninety-nine to subscribe, to even look at my profile. So people pay four ninety-nine a month to join my, my fans, my OnlyFans, you know?

• 1:19:55Bill Maher?

  Price of a latte.

• 1:19:57Speaker 05

  A price of a latte. Price of a latte, whatever. It's, it's, it's a latte a month, you know? But then, this is where, this is where you get looped in. So there's things called PPVs, pay-per-view. And, um, you know about pay-per-view?

• 1:20:10Bill Maher?

  I, I know. It's when I wanna watch a boxing match. That's what I think of pay-per-view.

• 1:20:15Speaker 05

  Well, it's also on OnlyFans now. And essentially, like-

• 1:20:19Bill Maher?

  Same company, same thing?

• 1:20:20Speaker 05

  No, no, no, not same thing.

• 1:20:21Bill Maher?

  Oh, they just use the same term?

• 1:20:22Speaker 05

  Same term. PPV is what it's called, pay-per-view. Cuz like, I'll make a new content set. I'll, I'll take photos in this new set that I bought and everything. And I'll post it, and I'll be like, hey, if you wanna see this, it's this much money. And then that's where men will be like, okay, I wanna see this set that she's describing, cuz like, I'll put like a little thing. Obviously, I'll do like a little tease and everything. And if you wanna see the full thing, you buy it.

• 1:20:45Bill Maher?

  And what, what goes on in the tease? Just you?

• 1:20:48Speaker 05

  I mostly, I'm, I'm in a bikini, and I'll, I'll just, I'll do like a striptease, essentially.

• 1:20:55Bill Maher?

  Taking you off the bikini.

• 1:20:57Speaker 05

  Yeah, so it's a video and I'll post these videos for, and I do like customs, so I'll talk to these people.

• 1:21:02Bill Maher?

  So they see the whole Golden Horde?

• 1:21:03Speaker 05

  I wouldn't say the whole thing. I never, I have never fully got naked on camera.

• 1:21:08Bill Maher?

  Oh.

• 1:21:09Speaker 05

  I have not ever fully got naked. I've done like a little nip slip here and there, you know? But I've never fully got naked. I won't, I won't ever do that. That's a boundary I won't ever cross.

• 1:21:17Bill Maher?

  Oh, so not even full frontal nudity, just nip slip?

• 1:21:20Speaker 05

  Yeah, just like a nip slip.

• 1:21:21Bill Maher?

  Oh, so not even the full?

• 1:21:22Speaker 05

  No, I've never done that. I won't, I don't ever plan on doing that. That's just something that I'm uncomfortable with. And, and that's why I love OnlyFans is because you have full autonomy. You can do whatever you want and people will, people will still talk to you. Like, it's, it's a great thing because I think there's a lot of lonely men in America. And they're just trying to look for a relationship and that's where they go is OnlyFans. And that's what I do. I talk to them and I do talk to them. I spend hours on the site and I also have people around me that do help me. I can't lie. I do have people that help me.

• 1:21:50Bill Maher?

  Plainly not two millions of them. This is on the level of Santa Claus can visit every house on Christmas night.

• 1:21:58Speaker 05

  You think?

• 1:21:59Bill Maher?

  There was a time in my life when I believed that and then there was a time, I think I was seven, when it struck me that how could even Santa Claus with all his skills?

• 1:22:11Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:22:12Bill Maher?

  And all his elves and the reindeer. Just in my town.

• 1:22:17Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:22:17Bill Maher?

  I mean, considering each visit, going down the chimney.

• 1:22:21Speaker 05

  Takes a little while.

• 1:22:22Bill Maher?

  Coming up the chimney.

• 1:22:23Speaker 05

  Putting the presents down under the, you know the tree?

• 1:22:26Bill Maher?

  At best, a two and a half minute. Plainly Santa Claus can't be in all these houses.

• 1:22:33Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:22:34Bill Maher?

  You see my analogy?

• 1:22:35Speaker 05

  I do, I do, yeah. I do.

• 1:22:37Bill Maher?

  And they don't know that?

• 1:22:38Speaker 05

  Hmm, I mean, I feel like they do. I feel like they do.

• 1:22:44Bill Maher?

  But you're talking to a select few?

• 1:22:46Speaker 05

  I'm talking to many. I'm talking to many. But I have people.

• 1:22:51Bill Maher?

  But not millions?

• 1:22:52Speaker 05

  Not millions. Well, I only have like.

• 1:22:54Bill Maher?

  Lucky few?

• 1:22:55Speaker 05

  I only have.

• 1:22:56Bill Maher?

  How do they get chosen? Do they pay the most?

• 1:22:59Speaker 05

  I can't lie and say no, but yeah, if you pay, if you pay more, I'm obviously going to talk to you more.

• 1:23:04Bill Maher?

  See you talking to these other people?

• 1:23:06Speaker 05

  No, it's all like.

• 1:23:07Bill Maher?

  It's all personal?

• 1:23:08Speaker 05

  It's all personal, so it's all personal.

• 1:23:09Bill Maher?

  People who, who don't see you personally at all, what do they get? What do they see?

• 1:23:13Speaker 05

  I mean, honestly, they, they see the whole same thing. So I have my, my page. And then I'll post on my like feed, kind of like an Instagram, you know, like I'll post pictures on there and everyone can see that, that's subscribed to me.

• 1:23:22Bill Maher?

  I'm not on that either.

• 1:23:23Speaker 05

  Okay. Well, you know what Instagram is, right?

• 1:23:25Bill Maher?

  I do know what it is.

• 1:23:26Speaker 05

  Okay, okay, you know what it is.

• 1:23:27Bill Maher?

  I mean, I'm on it. I don't, not personally really on it.

• 1:23:30Speaker 05

  But it's kind of like, it's kind of like that where like if someone follows you, you see everything. Kind of the sort of thing, but you have to pay $4.99 a month to be able to see that.

• 1:23:40Bill Maher?

  Not the thing you're doing to the person that's personal.

• 1:23:44Speaker 05

  Well.

• 1:23:44Bill Maher?

  So not everything, right?

• 1:23:45Speaker 05

  Not everything.

• 1:23:46Bill Maher?

  They're not voyeuristically seeing you.

• 1:23:49Speaker 05

  Yeah, so if you want to see that, you have to start conversating with me and then sometimes I'll send out mass messages. Everyone will get it.

• 1:23:54Bill Maher?

  On a typical day, how many people do you, would you say you actually talk to directly?

• 1:23:59Speaker 05

  Probably actually talk to around a hundred people.

• 1:24:02Bill Maher?

  A hundred?

• 1:24:03Speaker 05

  A hundred.

• 1:24:03Bill Maher?

  Okay. So the other millions, they don't see that?

• 1:24:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:24:07Bill Maher?

  Right? They don't?

• 1:24:08Speaker 05

  No.

• 1:24:09Bill Maher?

  That's private?

• 1:24:09Speaker 05

  Well.

• 1:24:11Bill Maher?

  That's the champagne room.

• 1:24:13Speaker 05

  That's the champagne room. I like that. I like that.

• 1:24:15Bill Maher?

  Now we're in the champagne room.

• 1:24:17Speaker 05

  That's the champagne room. But, um, most of the times I do have people helping me. It's literally impossible for me to answer everyone. I don't have too many people on my OnlyFans. I have around, I have over 20 million followers on my social medias. But I probably have like one eighteenth of that in my OnlyFans, you know? And those are the people like I can actually get close to, communicate with. And I have a lot of people that have been with me the entire time. Those are my main, my main like money.

• 1:24:43Bill Maher?

  We call them regulars in this group.

• 1:24:45Speaker 05

  We call them regulars. Exactly. Those are my regulars. Listen, I used to be a waitress. I had regulars. I, I love my regulars.

• 1:24:52Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 1:24:52Speaker 05

  And, um, those are the people that like I, I genuinely connect with and like, obviously I'm open to more people. But like some people are just there to be like, let me see this and then I'll never see them again.

• 1:25:03Bill Maher?

  The hundred you talk to a day, is it the same hundred the next day?

• 1:25:07Speaker 05

  Most of the time.

• 1:25:08Bill Maher?

  Most of the time.

• 1:25:08Speaker 05

  It's, it's, it's reoccurring. And then sometimes there'll be like a new person that I'm starting to talk to and then I'll find out.

• 1:25:14Bill Maher?

  And talk to, is it like directly? Is it like, just like a Zoom?

• 1:25:18Speaker 05

  It's on OnlyFans. All text. It's all text.

• 1:25:21Bill Maher?

  So there's no seeing you actually talk?

• 1:25:24Speaker 05

  Well, I've talked to a couple of people because that's extra.

• 1:25:27Bill Maher?

  But you can do that. So it's just like a Zoom or like a FaceTime?

• 1:25:30Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So.

• 1:25:31Bill Maher?

  But that's not even, that's like, that's like a smaller percentage of the hundred.

• 1:25:35Speaker 05

  Exactly.

• 1:25:36Bill Maher?

  How many is that, you think?

• 1:25:38Speaker 05

  Oh, I think I've only ever in my entire career have probably talked to five to 10 people on video? Just because, just because a lot of people, they scare me honestly. They scare me and I'm worried because most of the time people are there ill will. And I've had a lot of people that I've had to block, I had to restrict because they're trying to like, they're just being nasty to me. I had, I've had a lot of issues with stalkers. I've had a lot of issues with that. That's why I need to get security. We're working on that. But I've had a lot of issues, so I have to.

• 1:26:12Bill Maher?

  They're your fans who joined up, but they still want to be nasty to you?

• 1:26:15Speaker 05

  Yes, because that's all they think of me of. It's like just another whore to like jerk off to.

• 1:26:20Bill Maher?

  Want to masturbate over you?

• 1:26:21Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:26:23Speaker 05

  Like make it make sense, make it make sense. But there's a lot of people, there's a lot of great people that I've met on OnlyFans. Make it make sense. There's a lot of great people I've met on OnlyFans and that I do connect with, but it is impossible for me to talk to everyone. I have help and I have help that's very close to me that knows me personally. So it's kind of like you're talking to me still, you know?

• 1:26:42Bill Maher?

  It's a great title, by the way, if you ever, and you probably will be asked to do a book or something.

• 1:26:47Speaker 05

  I have been asked.

• 1:26:49Bill Maher?

  Call it, make it make sense.

• 1:26:50Speaker 05

  Make it make sense.

• 1:26:51Bill Maher?

  It's a great title.

• 1:26:51Speaker 05

  Thank you. You know what? Thank you.

• 1:26:53Bill Maher?

  I might steal it myself.

• 1:26:54Speaker 05

  No, no.

• 1:26:56Bill Maher?

  You wouldn't even have known it was if I didn't say it.

• 1:26:59Speaker 05

  Well, you told me.

• 1:27:00Bill Maher?

  Whoever gets to it first.

• 1:27:01Speaker 05

  All right, all right. We'll see, we'll see.

• 1:27:02Bill Maher?

  But it is a great title.

• 1:27:03Speaker 05

  I appreciate that.

• 1:27:04Bill Maher?

  Make it make sense.

• 1:27:05Speaker 05

  Make it make sense.

• 1:27:05Bill Maher?

  It would work. Cause that's one of the hardest things to do, is come up with titles. For books or anything. Titles are tough. Okay, so these five or 10, these select few. My God, it's like the Mormon council of elders. Like, uh, what was it about them? That made you trust them enough to, uh, Zoom with them?

• 1:27:29Speaker 05

  Just being nice. Like actually like.

• 1:27:31Bill Maher?

  And none of them ever disappointed you and was a snake in the grass?

• 1:27:34Speaker 05

  Uh-uh. So far, so far.

• 1:27:36Bill Maher?

  So far.

• 1:27:37Speaker 05

  Cause it's, it's levels to even get to that point, you know? It's levels to even get to the point to even video call me.

• 1:27:44Bill Maher?

  Can I ask an indelicate question?

• 1:27:45Speaker 05

  Of course.

• 1:27:46Bill Maher?

  Okay.

• 1:27:46Speaker 05

  I'm open to anything.

• 1:27:47Bill Maher?

  Do you? Either these five or 10 select or the hundred, uh, do you know when you're talking to them if they're ever, um?

• 1:28:01Speaker 05

  Doing something?

• 1:28:02Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:02Speaker 05

  Um, I do know. Cause sometimes they're, they're, they're very vocal about it.

• 1:28:09Bill Maher?

  Excuse me?

• 1:28:09Speaker 05

  No, it's great. It's all good. Um, very vocal.

• 1:28:13Bill Maher?

  Put that in the, uh, we have a reel of spit takes, really, from this show.

• 1:28:17Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 1:28:17Bill Maher?

  That's how much fun this show is. We have a whole reel of spit takes.

• 1:28:20Speaker 05

  That's gonna be on there.

• 1:28:22Bill Maher?

  Um.

• 1:28:25Bill Maher?

  So you do know?

• 1:28:26Speaker 05

  Yeah, I do. And they like to, they love to share it.

• 1:28:29Bill Maher?

  They do?

• 1:28:30Speaker 05

  They do.

• 1:28:30Bill Maher?

  So that's not a taboo?

• 1:28:32Speaker 05

  No, not at all.

• 1:28:33Bill Maher?

  Really?

• 1:28:33Speaker 05

  Not at all. I don't think so at least.

• 1:28:36Bill Maher?

  It doesn't bother you?

• 1:28:37Speaker 05

  Uh-uh. That's what I'm there for. I'm providing a service.

• 1:28:40Bill Maher?

  Right, exactly. And a noble service.

• 1:28:43Speaker 05

  Yes, very.

• 1:28:44Bill Maher?

  Um, you know, I mean.

• 1:28:45Speaker 05

  That's, that's how I like to think of it. Thank you.

• 1:28:48Bill Maher?

  Not really. I mean, uh, yes, men are bad. That's true. They proved it. I'm not even gonna fight it.

• 1:28:54Speaker 05

  Very well, so.

• 1:28:55Bill Maher?

  I mean, I'm a dog. Uh, and happy.

• 1:28:59Speaker 05

  I love that.

• 1:29:00Bill Maher?

  And that's okay.

• 1:29:01Speaker 05

  That's all that matters.

• 1:29:02Bill Maher?

  I know who I am and everybody knows, and my life knows who I am. And that's okay. I'm a good dog.

• 1:29:07Speaker 05

  There you go.

• 1:29:08Bill Maher?

  But you also, we don't know what it's like to be you and it's to, to be you. Women in general is to be very vulnerable.

• 1:29:16Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:29:16Bill Maher?

  It is. That's why you need security. You're, you're shorter, you're smaller, you're. And this is one reason why like all the bullshit about, you know, like women, uh, men and women's sports is so deleterious for society because it puts the idea in people's heads that, oh, women are just, no, they're not. They need more protection. They just do. They can be overpowered a lot easier than men can in general. Yes, there's a Ronda Rousey who can beat this shit out of anybody. That's not the typical woman. How tall are you?

• 1:29:50Speaker 05

  I am five-five.

• 1:29:51Bill Maher?

  Right, okay. So five-five, you know, I mean, it's just like even I am tower over you.

• 1:29:56Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:29:56Bill Maher?

  It's just not a fair thing. So they need protection.

• 1:30:00Speaker 05

  Agreed. I totally agree.

• 1:30:01Bill Maher?

  Yeah, they just do. Um, it's, it's, it's not equivalent and, and we should be mindful of that. I mean, women are very vulnerable. And we should know that, but you don't know us either and if you for one day had to live with the kind of testosterone that's coursing through our bodies from like 15 to, I mean, in my case, way too late in life, you know? But certainly into 30s, 40s, you know, I mean, imagine having to masturbate like four or five times every day.

• 1:30:38Speaker 05

  Is that like, that's true? Like that's something people do?

• 1:30:41Bill Maher?

  It was true in my life. I mean, I, I think, I think there are people who do it more.

• 1:30:46Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's worse nowadays.

• 1:30:48Bill Maher?

  There was a famous sex study, the Kinsey report that was done and a sex researcher, you know, very serious stuff. And, uh, you know, he, he examined all the parameters of how horny people are. Uh, there was one guy, for example, who could come in 10 seconds. He could make himself come in 10 seconds.

• 1:31:09Speaker 05

  Actually?

• 1:31:10Bill Maher?

  I mean, I'm going by some movie it was in, so maybe, but yes, I think that's true. Like he could just go from zero to.

• 1:31:18Speaker 05

  Like how do you get that amped up that quick?

• 1:31:21Bill Maher?

  Well, that's what I'm saying about men. We're pretty amped up.

• 1:31:24Speaker 05

  Already.

• 1:31:25Bill Maher?

  It's just, it's just why are we so violent? Why are we so horny? Why is there so much rape? Why is there so much sexism still left in the world? Yes, the United States, not over it. But the United States has conquered it so much better than the rest of the fucking world.

• 1:31:42Speaker 05

  I do agree on that.

• 1:31:43Bill Maher?

  The rest of the fucking world is way behind.

• 1:31:47Speaker 05

  Uh-huh.

• 1:31:48Bill Maher?

  We are much more, yes, there are Andrew Tate morons in this country, but you're much more likely to find some pussy whipped guy in a loveless marriage.

• 1:31:59Speaker 05

  There's, yeah, yeah, there's a lot of scary outside of America.

• 1:32:03Bill Maher?

  There's a lot of scary.

• 1:32:04Speaker 05

  There's a lot of scary.

• 1:32:04Bill Maher?

  And most of the scary is against women.

• 1:32:08Speaker 05

  Uh-huh.

• 1:32:09Bill Maher?

  You know, women are still like really vulnerable. And they're vulnerable and they're vulnerable everywhere.

• 1:32:15Speaker 05

  Uh-huh.

• 1:32:15Bill Maher?

  You know, I mean.

• 1:32:17Speaker 05

  And it's sad. It is. It's just sad. We need equality everywhere.

• 1:32:22Bill Maher?

  Well.

• 1:32:25Bill Maher?

  There was a time, even in this country, where it was very socially acceptable to hit a woman.

• 1:32:31Speaker 05

  Yes, there was a time, you are right.

• 1:32:33Bill Maher?

  Ralph Cramden's, that was The Honeymooners, a sitcom in the 50s. His catchphrase was, "To the moon."

• 1:32:40Speaker 05

  To the moon.

• 1:32:41Bill Maher?

  He would ball up his fist and literally threaten to punch his wife in the face. And that was a sitcom.

• 1:32:48Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 1:32:48Bill Maher?

  That was his, like, catchphrase. "To the moon, Alice."

• 1:32:52Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 1:32:53Bill Maher?

  "If you annoy me again, I'm gonna punch you in the face."

• 1:32:56Speaker 05

  Oh my gosh.

• 1:32:57Bill Maher?

  And nobody thought that was wrong.

• 1:32:58Speaker 05

  No one blinked an eye.

• 1:32:59Bill Maher?

  Nobody.

• 1:33:00Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 1:33:00Bill Maher?

  So, once men lost that, as of course they should, they never really learned how to replace it with arguing. And what they replaced it with, was just being a pussy.

• 1:33:13Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, this is true, this is true.

• 1:33:16Bill Maher?

  You know, and so, women who do know how to argue, because that's all they ever had, was the verbal part. They couldn't win the argument physically. They had a tremendous advantage. And now, men just sort of like, I mean, a lot of them just really are just so pussified, and that's not sexy to women either.

• 1:33:36Speaker 05

  I totally agree.

• 1:33:37Bill Maher?

  Women do not want a pussified guy.

• 1:33:39Speaker 05

  Like, men used to go to war.

• 1:33:41Bill Maher?

  They still do.

• 1:33:42Speaker 05

  They still do, but like, like, a lot of men used to go to war. Now, they're like, I couldn't imagine.

• 1:33:47Bill Maher?

  Women do too.

• 1:33:48Speaker 05

  The people I've talked to now, going to war, like, it's just, the men, the men aren't men, like they used to be. You know?

• 1:33:56Bill Maher?

  No, that's always been my secret with women. Other men.

• 1:34:02Speaker 05

  Other men? Okay, okay.

• 1:34:05Bill Maher?

  Let me be as old school as I actually wanna be.

• 1:34:09Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:34:09Bill Maher?

  Because that's like, that's what's like, not out there.

• 1:34:13Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:34:13Bill Maher?

  It's, it is, I mean, really, I hear it all the time. It's amazing how frustrated they are that men are either fucking rapists or pussies. Like, no, no in-between. Like, no ability to like, you know, be a man in all the ways that is good, without any of the stupid ways where it's bad.

• 1:34:36Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:34:36Bill Maher?

  They don't get that, because they never, they don't have good role models.

• 1:34:40Speaker 05

  None.

• 1:34:41Bill Maher?

  You know?

• 1:34:41Speaker 05

  I can't think of any.

• 1:34:42Bill Maher?

  And the ones that they did have, uh, you know, got taken down by the woke. You know, like James Bond, bad.

• 1:34:48Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:34:49Bill Maher?

  James Bond isn't bad.

• 1:34:51Speaker 05

  I love, I love.

• 1:34:52Bill Maher?

  James Bond is fucking cool.

• 1:34:53Speaker 05

  Yes, fucking cool.

• 1:34:55Bill Maher?

  I mean, there was a formula in James Bond movies for decades. He always fucked three hot chicks.

• 1:35:01Speaker 05

  Love that.

• 1:35:02Bill Maher?

  He was

• 1:35:02Speaker 05

  Love that.

• 1:35:04Bill Maher?

  He was not, he's not married, he's a spy.

• 1:35:07Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 1:35:08Bill Maher?

  You know, and some of it was for England.

• 1:35:11Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:35:12Bill Maher?

  You know, some of the bitches he was doing was just like, in the cause of the, I mean, they were hot.

• 1:35:17Speaker 05

  Right.

• 1:35:18Bill Maher?

  But he were fucked.

• 1:35:18Speaker 05

  It was part of the plot.

• 1:35:19Bill Maher?

  You know, it would have been more realistic.

• 1:35:21Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:35:21Bill Maher?

  Fucked an ugly girl for England.

• 1:35:24Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm, yeah.

• 1:35:25Bill Maher?

  Like, anyone would fuck that chick.

• 1:35:27Speaker 05

  Stop.

• 1:35:29Bill Maher?

  He did it for England.

• 1:35:31Speaker 05

  For England, that's why, that's, that's the

• 1:35:34Bill Maher?

  It just happened to be someone named Pussy Galore.

• 1:35:36Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 1:35:37Bill Maher?

  That was, that was an actual Bond character name.

• 1:35:40Speaker 05

  Really?

• 1:35:40Bill Maher?

  Pussy Galore, you never heard that?

• 1:35:42Speaker 05

  I haven't, actually.

• 1:35:43Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:44Speaker 05

  I need to

• 1:35:44Bill Maher?

  In one of the Bond movies.

• 1:35:46Speaker 05

  I need to watch that, which one? Do you know?

• 1:35:49Bill Maher?

  Goldfinger, I think.

• 1:35:50Speaker 05

  Oh, Goldfinger.

• 1:35:52Bill Maher?

  I mean, honestly, those early Bond movies, they're good, but they're from such a different era that they might strike you as slow.

• 1:36:02Speaker 05

  Okay, okay. I feel like it's, it's a moment, though, you know?

• 1:36:06Bill Maher?

  If you wanna watch a Bond movie, watch the first Daniel Craig.

• 1:36:10Speaker 05

  Daniel Craig, okay.

• 1:36:11Bill Maher?

  Daniel Craig was like the seventh James Bond.

• 1:36:14Speaker 05

  I got a lot of homework to do when I get home.

• 1:36:16Bill Maher?

  So many, so many great movies.

• 1:36:18Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:36:18Bill Maher?

  Watch Casino Royale.

• 1:36:20Speaker 05

  Casino Royale, who's in that?

• 1:36:22Bill Maher?

  It's, well, it's the first time Daniel Craig played Bond.

• 1:36:25Speaker 05

  Oh, okay, oh, okay, okay, okay.

• 1:36:27Bill Maher?

  They had him doing it till he was too old. I love him, but the last one was like, come on.

• 1:36:33Speaker 05

  I retired now, you're good.

• 1:36:35Bill Maher?

  Well,

• 1:36:38Bill Maher?

  you know, he's, and then, I mean, he's such a pussy in this one. He literally takes his girlfriend and her kid on his mission to save the world. He practically stops off at Target to buy tampons on his way to the underground lair.

• 1:36:53Speaker 05

  Like, no one's actually doing that.

• 1:36:55Bill Maher?

  No, well, no one's actually doing what James Bond is doing anyway.

• 1:36:58Speaker 05

  Well, you never know, I feel like you never know. There's some, there could be someone out there.

• 1:37:04Bill Maher?

  Well, you know, again, this is like your version of Marvel.

• 1:37:07Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:37:08Bill Maher?

  You know, I like James Bond.

• 1:37:09Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:37:10Bill Maher?

  I mean, uh, I like Jason Bourne better, because it's more realistic, and I like Robert McCall even better. But that is, to me, that's a, but I love all the James Bond movies. But, he does, and, and also like, Tom Cruise as Ethan Hunt.

• 1:37:28Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:37:28Bill Maher?

  Have you watched any of the Mission Impossible movies? None of them.

• 1:37:32Speaker 05

  I haven't seen a single one of them.

• 1:37:33Bill Maher?

  Never saw Mission Impossible?

• 1:37:35Speaker 05

  Nope.

• 1:37:35Bill Maher?

  Wow.

• 1:37:36Speaker 05

  But I've heard that they're really good.

• 1:37:37Bill Maher?

  They're good, watch, you know, start with the first one.

• 1:37:39Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 1:37:40Bill Maher?

  Um, first one is great.

• 1:37:42Speaker 05

  I will have to do that.

• 1:37:44Bill Maher?

  You know, it's a little like the Twilight movies. They get a little more ridiculous as they go on.

• 1:37:49Speaker 05

  Of course.

• 1:37:49Bill Maher?

  Do you like Twilight? Do you like Twilight?

• 1:37:51Speaker 05

  I have seen the Twilight movies.

• 1:37:52Bill Maher?

  Okay, Twilight one is awesome.

• 1:37:54Speaker 05

  Yes, I agree, they should have stopped at like, two, though.

• 1:37:57Bill Maher?

  It got ridiculous, they all do. It's called Jumping the Shark.

• 1:38:00Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:38:00Bill Maher?

  It's called Jumping the Shark. They just, you just go too far with the premise, and there's nothing left, and, um, but the first Twilight is great.

• 1:38:08Speaker 05

  Yes, I agree.

• 1:38:09Bill Maher?

  The idea that, like, teenagers are kind of like vampires, you feel like an outsider, you don't feel like anybody understands you.

• 1:38:19Speaker 05

  Are you Team Edward or Team Jacob?

• 1:38:23Speaker 05

  I wanna know.

• 1:38:26Bill Maher?

  The vampire.

• 1:38:27Speaker 05

  The vampire?

• 1:38:28Bill Maher?

  It's a vampire movie, of course I'm Team Edward.

• 1:38:31Speaker 05

  Uh, well

• 1:38:31Bill Maher?

  It's a vampire movie, it's not a fucking werewolf movie. Werewolf is a fucking day player.

• 1:38:38Speaker 05

  Well, they should have made a spin-off of, of a werewolf movie. Because I think, I'm Team Jacob. I'm Team Jacob, I love Jacob, yeah.

• 1:38:46Bill Maher?

  Why, because you like the actor?

• 1:38:48Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:38:48Bill Maher?

  More your type?

• 1:38:49Speaker 05

  Well, not only that, like, I just think it would be cool to be able to turn into a wolf and just run around. Does that make me a furry?

• 1:38:55Bill Maher?

  Yeah. No, but don't you think, don't you think Robert Pattinson as that guy was sexier, I mean, than the werewolf? I mean, he's a, he's a great-looking guy, but

• 1:39:07Speaker 05

  I see it, yes, I agree.

• 1:39:08Bill Maher?

  Robert Pattinson has something, if you're looking for the life mate,

• 1:39:11Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm, it's the vampire.

• 1:39:13Bill Maher?

  I would go with that, I would go with Edward. Because I just feel like there's something deeper there.

• 1:39:18Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:39:19Bill Maher?

  There's something sexier on a level that is beyond just a physical.

• 1:39:24Speaker 05

  I know, but it's so cool to be able to turn into a wolf and run around on all fours, right? There's just something so exciting about that.

• 1:39:33Bill Maher?

  I've done it.

• 1:39:33Speaker 05

  Oh, okay.

• 1:39:35Bill Maher?

  Have you never like, got on the floor with your dogs and ran around like, like them?

• 1:39:41Speaker 05

  Um, I have two little dachshunds, so it's kinda hard for me to get down on their level. I literally have to like, crawl.

• 1:39:51Bill Maher?

  I've literally played, I will play, I've played football with my dogs.

• 1:39:56Speaker 05

  Football?

• 1:39:56Bill Maher?

  I get so, yeah, like, I'll put a little, there's a little football with a squeaky toy in it. I'll put it down there, and I'll get down like I'm a lineman, and he'll be on the other side, like, he's a lineman, and it's funny the way, they'll wait till I

• 1:40:11Speaker 05

  Oh my gosh.

• 1:40:12Bill Maher?

  And when I move, they move, and then, you know, would

• 1:40:14Speaker 05

  I need to try this with my dogs, I don't know why I haven't done that. Listen, my dog, he loves to play fetch. Loves to play fetch, and I have like those, I don't, I don't remember what they're called, but they have like holes in them, and one time my dog's jaw got stuck in the hole of the ball, and I could not rip it off. I had to take him to the emergency room, and they had to cut it off. So I'm always like scared to play with them now, because that literally traumatized me. Because like, he was like, he was like seizing because he couldn't breathe. Because the ball was like, so big.

• 1:40:44Bill Maher?

  Well, I mean, they're like kids.

• 1:40:46Speaker 05

  I know, they're gonna kill themselves over anything.

• 1:40:48Bill Maher?

  A certain number of them. People used to accept this, it's one of those like, hard facts that no one wants to hear. And so, we went way too far the other way, I think. We way coddle and overprotect our children.

• 1:41:01Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:41:02Bill Maher?

  Children are not feral, as I was when I was a kid. Children are not what they used to call free-range.

• 1:41:08Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:41:08Bill Maher?

  They don't, I mean, I, I mean, in some places, they're way too free-range. Parents are fucking absentee, and kids are doing whatever the fuck they want.

• 1:41:16Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:41:16Bill Maher?

  Did you ever see The Florida Project?

• 1:41:18Speaker 05

  I did, actually, I've seen The Florida Project.

• 1:41:20Bill Maher?

  That's a great one.

• 1:41:21Speaker 05

  I do like The Florida Project.

• 1:41:23Bill Maher?

  Such a great one, about Florida.

• 1:41:24Speaker 05

  Yes, about Florida.

• 1:41:25Bill Maher?

  And about a single mother.

• 1:41:27Speaker 05

  Yes, I really like Stand By Me. I feel like in Stand By Me, like, they just let the kids do whatever they wanna. Like, how are these kids

• 1:41:34Bill Maher?

  Yes.

• 1:41:34Speaker 05

  traveling to a railroad track?

• 1:41:35Bill Maher?

  They did it up through the 70s, Gen X is the last generation that had that experience.

• 1:41:40Speaker 05

  I think that, that needs to be instilled again.

• 1:41:42Bill Maher?

  It totally does.

• 1:41:43Speaker 05

  I like, that's how you find out who you are as a person.

• 1:41:46Bill Maher?

  And, and the, the trade-off

• 1:41:48Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:41:48Bill Maher?

  is that some will die. You just have to accept that.

• 1:41:52Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:41:52Bill Maher?

  That's how people, mature people, used to understand the human race. You cannot eliminate all death.

• 1:41:58Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:41:58Bill Maher?

  You can't have both.

• 1:41:59Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:42:00Bill Maher?

  I mean, in The Florida Project, which I think is just a brilliant movie.

• 1:42:03Speaker 05

  Yes, I love it.

• 1:42:04Bill Maher?

  It's so great because this mother is anything but a model mom.

• 1:42:11Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:42:11Bill Maher?

  I mean, she's literally doing tricks while the kid is in the bathroom.

• 1:42:15Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:42:15Bill Maher?

  Living in a motel.

• 1:42:16Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:42:17Bill Maher?

  And she gets her food from the back door at the McDonald's where the friend works. I mean, I mean, but the kid loves mommy, and mommy is like a friend to the kid, and they have a lot of fun.

• 1:42:28Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:42:29Bill Maher?

  But the kid also like goes and crosses the highway on her own.

• 1:42:32Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:42:32Bill Maher?

  Things that, of course, make child services show up and take the kid away. But does the kid wanna leave mommy?

• 1:42:39Speaker 05

  No.

• 1:42:40Bill Maher?

  No, kid loves mommy, and is having a great time with mommy. And yes, she could get killed, but is it better to traumatize that kid and take her away? And that's what the, the question the movie leaves the audience with, which is why it's a great movie, because it leaves you with a real question.

• 1:42:57Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:42:58Bill Maher?

  And I would, I would

• 1:43:00Speaker 05

  It's hard.

• 1:43:01Bill Maher?

  I'm, I'm on the side of mommy.

• 1:43:03Speaker 05

  Yeah?

• 1:43:03Bill Maher?

  I mean, that, I'm on the side of the kid.

• 1:43:06Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:43:06Bill Maher?

  The kid is like, the kid runs away, it's like

• 1:43:09Speaker 05

  I know, I wasn't, I didn't really understand the end of the movie, like, I thought, I thought that she died at the end, like

• 1:43:15Bill Maher?

  No, the end of the movie is, "You may not get me to, uh, live with mommy anymore, but I'm not going to you."

• 1:43:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:43:23Bill Maher?

  "To the social services."

• 1:43:24Speaker 05

  Yes, she just runs away to Disney.

• 1:43:25Bill Maher?

  "I'll find my way back to mommy."

• 1:43:27Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:43:27Bill Maher?

  "Where it's fun."

• 1:43:28Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:43:29Bill Maher?

  Maybe too much fun, but

• 1:43:32Speaker 05

  But, I mean, it's, it's

• 1:43:33Bill Maher?

  It's not like the mom doesn't love the kid.

• 1:43:35Speaker 05

  Exactly, exactly.

• 1:43:36Bill Maher?

  She just is too much of a kid herself.

• 1:43:38Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:43:38Bill Maher?

  Probably this problem your parents had. Any parents who are still doing drugs

• 1:43:43Speaker 05

  And I, I came out fine.

• 1:43:45Bill Maher?

  You came out awesome.

• 1:43:46Speaker 05

  I feel like I came out okay.

• 1:43:47Bill Maher?

  Funny, I've noticed this over the course of my life with young people. It's so interesting. When they have fucked up backgrounds like you have, they either became not good, basket cases that fucked them up, or they became way more stable, like you.

• 1:44:05Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 1:44:06Bill Maher?

  Like it made you go in the opposite direction.

• 1:44:07Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:44:08Bill Maher?

  And they're like the total opposite of the parents. Not on drugs, not fucked up, level-headed, you know, two feet on the ground.

• 1:44:16Speaker 05

  Because I saw like what that did to my parents.

• 1:44:18Bill Maher?

  It makes you either go in one of the two directions.

• 1:44:20Speaker 05

  Yes, 100%.

• 1:44:21Bill Maher?

  Well, you went in the right direction. Thank you for

• 1:44:24Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 1:44:25Bill Maher?

  Spending your time with me.

• 1:44:26Speaker 05

  I had so much fun.

• 1:44:28Bill Maher?

  Yeah, this was awesome.

• 1:44:29Speaker 05

  Please invite me again anytime.

• 1:44:31Bill Maher?

  I will, anytime. If you ever need anything from Real Time with Bill Maher, you just tell me. And watch those movies.

• 1:44:40Speaker 05

  I have a lot of homework to do.

• 1:44:41Bill Maher?

  I will be rooting for you.

• 1:44:43Speaker 05

  I'm going home tonight, so I know what I'm watching on the way home.

• 1:44:45Bill Maher?

  And get a security person.

• 1:44:47Speaker 05

  Thank you, yes, I'm going to. Thank you so much, Bill, I appreciate it.

• 1:44:50Bill Maher?

  Okay.

• 1:44:51Speaker 05

  This was so fun.

• 1:44:53Bill Maher?

  So fun.

• 1:44:54Speaker 05

  So fun.

• 1:44:59Bill Maher?

  Some funner showed the fucking Club Random.

• 1:45:01Speaker 05

  I agree.

• 1:45:02Bill Maher?

  What?

• 1:45:03Speaker 05

  This is the best thing. I've had such a good time.

• 1:45:06Bill Maher?

  Well, tell your friends, because like so many people are afraid of me.

• 1:45:08Speaker 05

  Why is that?

• 1:45:10Bill Maher?

  Because they're fucking stupid. They're not ballsy like you, they're not honest like you.

• 1:46:18Speaker 06

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