This One Episode Will Motivate You to Change Your Entire Life

This episode is a MUST-listen. If you’ve ever felt behind, scared, stuck, or doubting yourself, you need to hit play. Today, Mel sits down with someone who has been a mentor from afar for more than 12 years. Mel says she would not be where she is today without the person sitting across from her. For more than a decade, Gary Vaynerchuk has been one of Mel’s biggest inspirations - and in this conversation, he is here to challenge you to stop making excuses and start changing your life. Gary is one of the most successful entrepreneurs and creators of his generation, a six-time New York Times bestselling author, and the force behind VaynerX, VaynerMedia, and VeeFriends. If you’ve been sitting on an idea, watching other people do the thing you want to do, worrying about what people will think, or telling yourself you’re too late, you need to hear this. Gary will challenge the way you think about fear, regret, comparison, confidence, your career, other people’s opinions, and the excuses that are keeping you stuck. You’ll learn why the people you listen to shape who you become, why your embarrassment can become your advantage, why peace of mind matters more than status, and why one action could change the entire direction of your life. Gary also shares his advice for anyone who wants to start a business, change careers, put themselves out there, or finally take the risk they’ve been thinking about for years. His message is simple: there is something you are amazing at - and the longer you sit around watching everybody else do it, the more it costs you. You’ll also learn: - What your algorithm reveals about who you are - Why you need to start living your life with your funeral in mind - The 3 words that are keeping you stuck - Gary’s #1 tip if you’re unemployed or looking for a new job - How to stop blaming your parents for your circumstances - How to build self-confidence and let go of your need to be accepted - Why peace of mind is the secret to a rich life This conversation will push you to stop waiting for the right time, stop letting other people’s opinions control your decisions, and stop living in a way that leaves you saying, “I wish I…” By the time it’s over, you’ll know exactly what you need to do next - and you’ll feel inspired to go do it. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page. If you liked this episode, listen to this one next: What Makes a Good Life? This Study on 26,000 Regrets Will Guide You for the Rest of Your Life Mel also wants to tell you: Try the 23g protein shot I drink every single morning Join 2 million readers loving my weekly newsletter - full of tips, tools, and inspiration The Let Them Theory: read the book everyone’s talking about Watch the episodes on YouTube Connect with me on Instagram Follow the show’s Instagram for clips, behind the scenes, and more Find some daily positivity on my TikTok Want zero ads? Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes ad-free Disclaimer

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Mel Robbins?

  Hey, it's your friend Mel and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast.

• 0:09Mel Robbins?

  I am so excited that you're here with me today because I'm going to introduce you to somebody who has had a profound impact on my life. 12 years ago, I started posting on social media as a 46-year-old woman because of one human being. His name, Gary Vaynerchuk. I would not be the person I am today. I would not have written the five-second rule, the high-five habit, the let-them-theory. I wouldn't have started this podcast. And I probably wouldn't have gotten out of $800,000 worth of debt if it were not for Gary Vaynerchuk.

• 0:50Mel Robbins?

  Now, if you usually turn to me in order to feel better and to be reminded that yes, you are capable of extraordinary things. You are capable of changing your life. Well, if you're turning to me for that, I cannot wait for you to meet Gary Vaynerchuk because he's the person I turn to for that kind of encouragement. He's the person I've studied the most about putting yourself out there, reinvention, seeing around corners, forgetting about what everybody else thinks, doing the thing you've always wanted to do. So I'm going to tell you right now, if you are not interested in changing your life, if you are not interested in being motivated, if you are not interested in going for the things

• 1:34Mel Robbins?

  that you want in your life, you better stop listening right now. Because this is going to be a conversation that you will save, that I will save, that you will listen to over and over and over and over again. After today, you will stop waiting for the right time, the right answer, the right feeling, the right person, and you will finally do the thing you need to do. Open the Etsy shop, sell your art, change careers, start the business, start your life.

• 2:10Mel Robbins?

  Quick question. How many times have you told yourself, "Ah, I'll travel when things calm down"? Spoiler alert, things don't calm down. You've got to calm them down by planning something. You know what I'm talking about? That's why I want you to know all about EF Go Ahead Tours, because they'll plan your trip for you. Just pick the destination, they do the rest. That's right. This is your permission slip to say yes. Yes to wonder, yes to fun, yes to travel, yes to the good stuff, like double scoops of gelato in Italy, cozy pub nights in Ireland, sunset sails in Greece. Yes. Find your trip at GoAheadTours.com and say yes to travel with EF Go Ahead Tours. This podcast is brought to you by Expedia. If you haven't booked your next trip yet,

• 2:55Mel Robbins?

  now is the time. Whether you're going to fly across the country, or maybe you just want to explore a cool beach town this summer, Expedia makes it easy. Flights, hotels, vacation rentals, cars, activities, everything you need in one place. That means no jumping between sites, no hassle. And when you bundle, you can save up to 30% with everything you need in one app. Sign in to save. Savings vary. Expedia, the one place you go to go places. The Mel Robbins Podcast is proudly sponsored by Amica Insurance, our exclusive insurance partner. You know how good it feels when someone makes your life easier? Oh, I just love those kind of people. That's why I love Amica. They go the extra mile in the moments

• 3:37Mel Robbins?

  you need it most. Listening, following up, and treating you like a real human being. And because they're a mutual insurer, the whole model is built around putting customers first. It's refreshing, it's rare, it's covered with empathy, and it's exactly how insurance should feel. Amica, where your priority, number one. Visit amica.com and get a quote today.

• 4:06Mel Robbins?

  Hey, it's your friend Mel and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. And if you're a new listener, I just want to welcome you to the Mel Robbins Podcast family. If somebody shared this with you, I want you, after you're done listening, to call them and say thank you. Thank you for sharing that episode with me because Gary Vaynerchuk, also known as Gary V, is here to tell you, stop making excuses. He's going to teach you how to change your life right now. Some of the things you're not going to like to hear, because Gary goes right for the truth. He's kind of like a punch and a hug guy. And he has been my mentor from afar for 12 years. This is the first time that I am sitting down with the person

• 4:46Mel Robbins?

  who inspired me to start posting online. I would not be hosting the Mel Robbins Podcast, I would not be the person that you know me to be today if it were not for Gary Vaynerchuk. And Gary V, oh my gosh, he's one of the most successful entrepreneurs and creators of this generation. He is considered one of the leading global minds on what's next in culture, business, and the internet. Six-time New York Times bestselling author, 45 million people follow his work. He is the chairman of VaynerX, the CEO of V Friends, and the CEO of VaynerMedia, one of the largest global advertising agencies in the world. Today,

• 5:24Mel Robbins?

  Gary has flown to Boston for one reason. He's here for you. He wants you to stop making excuses. He wants you to take control of your life. He knows you have so much more that you can give and do and experience in your life. And today, he's going to ignite something in you and show you how. Please help me welcome the one, the only Gary Vaynerchuk to the Mel Robbins Podcast.

• 5:52Speaker 01

  I'm so happy to be here, Mel. Thank you.

• 5:54Mel Robbins?

  You have been an inspiration to me for 12 years. I would not be where I am today without you. And so where I want to start, because I'm so thrilled that the person that's with us right now is going to get to be infused with your wisdom, your energy, the lessons from your life, the way you think about life. How might the person who's listening's life change if they take to heart everything that we're about to talk about today?

• 6:19Speaker 01

  They'll become dramatically lighter. We are incredibly capable of making mountains out of molehills, and we focus on dumb shit until real shit happens, and then we recalibrate. I prefer the person that's listening right now enjoy life or understand life before something bad happens in it. And I'm very focused on that, and that's a lot of what my content and my life is about.

• 6:44Mel Robbins?

  Well, we're going to get into how you actually do that. But before we get into that, I want the person listening to understand a little bit about how your life has shaped you.

• 6:54Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 6:55Mel Robbins?

  You know, what's interesting is I said before you were coming into the team, I said, "I've heard you for a decade say, 'I'm going to buy the Jets.'" "I'm going to buy the Jets." And I said to my team of almost 50 people, "How many people here think he's going to do it?" Every hand went up. And what's interesting is that, I don't know if you will or won't, but what is powerful is that your belief that you might is something that other people can catch.

• 7:19Speaker 01

  What's even more interesting on a personal level is the joy of chasing it is dramatically more delicious than achieving it.

• 7:28Mel Robbins?

  Say more about that.

• 7:29Speaker 01

  You know, somewhere around my early 20s, I think I realized, oh, shoot, I like the chase more than the getting it. I like the practice more than the trophy. I don't live for outside validation. I didn't use that term. But I realized very early in my life, oh, I'm different. By the time I was 25, I had gone through being an immigrant that couldn't speak English, misunderstood, being a ridiculously bad student, being misunderstood by parents of your friends and teachers, innovating in my dad's liquor store, things that people told my dad would ruin his business if he let me do it. By the time I was 25,

• 8:12Speaker 01

  I was told by the world that I was wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, and everything was right, right, right, right, right. And that made it very easy to live the last 25 years, because I had it figured out early. And I say that from a place of gratitude, not audacity. Like, I hate the word luck, because I believe the world likes to weaponize it as an excuse to why they're not doing their thing. But it is not lost on me, the serendipity that got me out of the Soviet Union, got me to the US, gave me the mother that I had, gave me competitive spirit, but also just pure love in my heart. You know, I'm 50 now. I've watched many young children, nephews' children, nieces', friends' children.

• 8:57Speaker 01

  Like, some kids are just born with some shit. And then if they're fortunate enough that those ingredients are cooked properly in the proper restaurant, well, then shit gets crazy. But here's what I'm intoxicated by.

• 9:08Mel Robbins?

  Tell me.

• 9:09Speaker 01

  That if the person watching right now did not have all the best ingredients, DNA, did not have the greatest chef and sous chef, parents, were not served in the best restaurant, the neighborhoods and environments they grew up in, what I'm intoxicated by, why I exist in public, is my belief is that people are obnoxiously more capable of changing than they realize. And it's actually shockingly simple and the hardest thing in the world.

• 9:42Mel Robbins?

  Shockingly simple and the hardest thing in the world. There were so many things that you just said that I want to make sure as you're listening, you really heard it. Because when you started to do the cadence of misunderstood, misunderstood, misunderstood, misunderstood, the majority of people who feel misunderstood start to withdraw.

• 9:58Speaker 01

  Correct.

• 9:58Mel Robbins?

  And start to say something's wrong.

• 10:00Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 10:00Mel Robbins?

  So for the person who's listening right now that feels like I suck at school, I just got fired from a job, I'm so different from my family, I can't find somebody to date that's interested in me, or that like, I misunderstood, misunderstood, and it is like dragging around a lead weight. How do you flip that sense that the world doesn't get you into something that propels you?

• 10:22Speaker 01

  By not wanting the world to get you.

• 10:25Mel Robbins?

  Say more.

• 10:26Speaker 01

  You know, I'm just confused why you need your spouse to fully understand you, why you need your mother to fully understand you, why you need your fucking coworker to fully understand you. The answer to your question, Mel, is being comfortable with being misunderstood by realizing someone's subjective opinion of you, who is not you, can never fully know you, not even the people that are closest to you. So how could a stranger in the comments of an Instagram post have a prayer of knowing who the fuck you are? By the way, Mel Mafia, that's what I call you guys. I apologize for the cursing. I'm a little bit of a Jersey boy. I'll try to rein it in because I know occasionally it allows someone not to hear me.

• 11:10Mel Robbins?

  I appreciate you saying that because there are a lot of people that listen to the Car with Littles. However, however, it is important that you also acknowledge that that is just who you are.

• 11:22Speaker 01

  Comma, I'm incredibly empathetic to the people that have historically not consumed my content or not followed me because if they in their life genuinely believe that cursing is atrocious and a sign of lack of intelligence or whatever they may think it is.

• 11:36Mel Robbins?

  Right.

• 11:37Speaker 01

  I have the humility and the empathy and compassion to understand that. It's funny that I called it out. I tend not to. But I think it comes out of just deep respect I have for you and what you're building and kind of like, I know I'm different and you have incredible people on here and I know just like you are the exact human that was built to break through for someone. I know that I'm the exact human to break through for a lot of people right now and I worry about the seven or nine that won't go much further because of the cursing, yet I'm the human on earth that is about to say the sentence or two that fundamentally changes their perspective. And the only thing life is, is how you see it. There is no life.

• 12:22Speaker 01

  There is no real world. There's just your perception. There's just what you bring to the table. You are either cynical because you're deeply insecure or you are deeply optimistic because you're incredibly purely confident. You have your life experiences. You have the things you were told. Most people that are listening right now, Mel, are scared. This is something we need to talk about.

• 12:44Mel Robbins?

  So when somebody who is listening to you say that the biggest problem right now is that people are scared.

• 12:50Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 12:50Mel Robbins?

  There is so much fear.

• 12:52Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 12:52Mel Robbins?

  And there are plenty of reasons in life to be afraid. But allowing it to dominate what you do next is really the skill that somebody can learn to flip from cynicism, there's nothing I can do, to there's always something I can do.

• 13:05Speaker 01

  Well, there's unlimited reasons to be optimistic.

• 13:08Mel Robbins?

  So talk to the person who's cynical right now and who wants to be more optimistic, who wants to have courage.

• 13:14Speaker 01

  Stop listening to politicians.

• 13:18Speaker 01

  Thanks for having me, everyone. Like, that's it, Mel. Like, there is nothing else. Like, do you understand who you consume, what you consume, is who you become? One of the reasons I schlep here is because I want to honor you being a human being who I know has fundamentally made it better for people. Like, I do not understand how people continue to be confused. There are two ways to build the biggest building in town. One is to just be talented enough to build the biggest building in town and you admire everyone else's buildings, even the ones that are even bigger than yours.

• 13:54Mel Robbins?

  Yeah.

• 13:55Speaker 01

  Comma, the choice that most people take, which is they build a crappy little building and they spend 100% of their time trying to tear down everybody else's building. This is shockingly hard and wildly easy.

• 14:10Speaker 01

  Algorithms. Ready?

• 14:11Mel Robbins?

  Yes.

• 14:11Speaker 01

  Gary, you don't get it. You always talk about social media. I'm so mad at you. It's my algorithm. Watch this, everyone. You want a task at home right now? Open your Instagram or TikTok and when you get a piece of content, politics, schm politics, negativity, manscaping, whatever, you know, whatever you got, literally click the buttons on the top right corner on Instagram or the bottom right corner on TikTok and say not interested. And keep doing that for one day and then go to search and type in joy, enter, and then like five or six things that pop up. And then go back to search and type in happy and get some content and like and follow a couple of things. And this is very important. Then go to search and put in Gary V E E and follow that account.

• 14:55Speaker 01

  And on and on, my friends, the algorithm did not change you. The algorithm exposed you.

• 15:03Mel Robbins?

  Oh, it's so true.

• 15:05Speaker 01

  Oh, I know, Mel.

• 15:07Mel Robbins?

  So for somebody who's listening, because I do think that you're right and most people are in their heads, spending all kinds of time either tearing themselves down and coming up with reasons why they can't.

• 15:17Speaker 01

  Correct.

• 15:17Mel Robbins?

  Or looking around at other people and using it as evidence to see why they can't.

• 15:22Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 15:23Mel Robbins?

  Or spending a lot of time tearing other people down instead of like spending the same amount of time lifting themselves up.

• 15:29Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 15:29Mel Robbins?

  How if somebody who's listening starts to have a moment of reckoning where you're like, you know, I'm kind of sick of this version of myself. I'm kind of sick of feeling like I'm stuck. I'm sick of being jealous of everyone else. I am living in a lot of fear.

• 15:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:42Mel Robbins?

  Nobody's going to do this for me, but nobody's stopping me from doing what I'm capable of doing. I'm the one in my own way.

• 15:47Speaker 01

  And I'm using excuses at scale and I continuously go back to my mom fucked up when I was eight. No shit, Sally. And? Like, you're grown now. You're 34. And the answer is action. Therapy. Therapy's a good one. Instead of buying dumb shit to cover up your hurt, why don't you go invest it into therapy? Do you know how many people have BMWs that actually needed to go buy therapy sessions with that money? Please do not use materialistic things to show the world you're good when we all know you're not. Right, Mel?

• 16:28Mel Robbins?

  Yeah.

• 16:28Speaker 01

  Do you know why there's such a big consumer world? Like, people buy stuff? It's because we use it as proxies to disguise behind the makeup of our materialistic things to not allow you to see what's actually happening. We have a pandemic of Keeping Up With The Joneses, not because of social media and we see other people with stuff, but because modern parenting left accountability out of the ingredients of the last 30, 40 years.

• 16:57Mel Robbins?

  Let's talk about that. You have two kids.

• 16:59Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 17:00Mel Robbins?

  And you're also, for as public as you are, I really respect the fact that you're very private about your personal life.

• 17:06Speaker 01

  Outrageously.

• 17:07Mel Robbins?

  Outrageously. And I would love to have you talk about this in the lane of accountability because there is a lot of blaming your parents.

• 17:18Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 17:18Mel Robbins?

  Blaming the circumstances. And there are very real circumstances that are very unfair.

• 17:22Speaker 01

  Correct.

• 17:23Mel Robbins?

  There's horrible things that happen to people.

• 17:24Speaker 01

  Every day.

• 17:24Mel Robbins?

  I do not believe everything happens for a reason. I believe shit happens. A lot of it's unfair, but you have to find a reason to move on and to grow.

• 17:33Speaker 01

  Because other people who've also been in that situation have found a way. And so the question becomes, it is not impossible.

• 17:39Mel Robbins?

  Yes.

• 17:40Speaker 01

  Like, that's important. Like, to your point, there are a lot of atrocious things. What about the fact that 800 million people, roughly 10% of the world right now, cannot get a glass of clean water as we sit here in this room? Like, perspective is confused out there. There are people that have real alcoholic parents, abandoned by parents, foster home, other scary stuff. The problem is, it's like, it is. I mean, my mother is the most optimistic, joyful, warm human on earth. Here's my mother's story in a nutshell. She lost her mother at five. Her mother died when she was five years old. Her father went to jail for 10 years when she was nine, 10, because the Soviet Union is a really fucked up place.

• 18:24Speaker 01

  For the things that I get put on Mel's podcast for, my grandfather went to jail for. Like, real shit, right? I mean, that's a tough fucking hand, you know? And yet, incredible capacity to choose optimism and is more joyful and optimistic than anyone in our extended families who all quote unquote had it better. And by the way, as atrocious as that was for my mom, there are thousands listening now that had it even worse. I get that.

• 18:54Mel Robbins?

  Yep.

• 18:55Speaker 01

  The question becomes, when is it not your parents' fault anymore? Let's start with that one. Mel, I'm actually asking you, let's flip it. This is the Gary Vee Audio Experience.

• 19:04Mel Robbins?

  Here we go.

• 19:05Speaker 01

  At what age, roughly? You're just one woman. You just have one subjective opinion. There's no right or wrong answer to this, but sister, talk to me like we're just walking in the backyard.

• 19:14Mel Robbins?

  Okay, we're on a walk.

• 19:15Speaker 01

  Just for fun.

• 19:15Mel Robbins?

  I?

• 19:16Speaker 01

  A general number.

• 19:17Mel Robbins?

  Yeah.

• 19:17Speaker 01

  This is just the world, obviously incredibly circumstantial, everyone's life, but for fun, at what age, Mel, do you believe that it is no longer fun or interesting to just keep blaming your parents? At what age are you able to stand on your own two feet and choose who you surround yourself with, what you actually believe, how you limit your interactions with those parents or any other person that pushes negative propaganda 24/7? At what age are you a big girl now?

• 19:50Mel Robbins?

  Well, I wouldn't say it's an age. I say it's the moment you decide to pay for your life.

• 19:55Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 19:56Mel Robbins?

  There is a point of view that has been very helpful to me, which is understanding that people can only give you what they have to give and people can only provide you with the parenting experience largely based on what was done to them.

• 20:13Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 20:13Mel Robbins?

  And a lot of the, there's some real evil people out there, but there's also a lot of people that do bad things that don't know what they're doing.

• 20:21Speaker 01

  And we've got to get into a place of what's an inconvenience or a darn it versus a catastro- I mean, what people now deem as my parent fucked me up only 40 years ago was like a skinned knee.

• 20:40Speaker 01

  I mean, there are people who blame their parents for things that were inconceivable. I mean, like, missing one football game. Well, you missed the big game where I threw three touchdowns.

• 20:51Mel Robbins?

  Well, here, here's the thing. Like, your parents did the job that they did. And at some point, you have to take that as a fact and decide, what are you gonna do next? That's it. And are you gonna look back with judgment? Or are you gonna look back with understanding and a bit of compassion? And then be an adult and either forgive and have a conversation about it? Or have some boundaries around it?

• 21:20Speaker 01

  Do you know what my opening line was to VCon 3, my big conference? Literally walked on stage, 10,000 people, opening line? F your grandparents.

• 21:28Mel Robbins?

  What do you mean, F your grandparents?

• 21:29Speaker 01

  That was my opening line.

• 21:30Mel Robbins?

  Why?

• 21:31Speaker 01

  Because I'm so tired of people being so mad at their mom and dad without taking a good look at what their grandparents did to mom and dad. We love little granny because she gives you cookies and gave you five bucks. But meanwhile, Grammy screwed up your mom so good that you've spent your whole life blaming your mom. Like, at what point are you able to understand it's not their fault either? And now, Mel, let's transition.

• 21:57Mel Robbins?

  Let's do it.

• 21:57Speaker 01

  The bigger question.

• 21:58Mel Robbins?

  Okay.

• 21:59Speaker 01

  What are you doing by verbalizing to everyone in your world that this happened?

• 22:05Mel Robbins?

  You're keeping it alive.

• 22:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, what are you asking for? You're asking for pity. You're asking for compassion. You're asking for enablement. You're creating a framework of entitlement. You're using it as a weapon to justify why not? Instead of going all in on, I'm just not motivated enough right now and I've gotta do this or that. Like, once you go fully accountable, when you love yourself all the way, but you also have the humility to understand you're a human being and you just might suck at a lot of things, and that's super duper okay. Once you go there, it gets real light.

• 22:44Mel Robbins?

  I think what you're, you're saying, if I give it back to you, is that what you see in what's holding a lot of people back is so much time and energy spent looking backwards and blaming versus standing in the present moment going, this happened, it had this impact on me, and, and what am I going to do next? What am I gonna take responsibility for moving forward? Now that I've acknowledged what's happened? I get it, but I am an adult now and it is time for me to figure out, what do I want with my life?

• 23:20Speaker 01

  And that's why I get so excited. You know, people make fun of me about how I think about age.

• 23:24Mel Robbins?

  Yeah.

• 23:24Speaker 01

  As you see, people probably razz me on the internet, like, Gary, I'm 90. And I'm like, you have time. They like these skits. Like, what excites me about that is I do believe people somewhere between 25 and 45 in that kind of window can get to this place where they're exhausted of pointing fingers.

• 23:42Mel Robbins?

  Hmm.

• 23:44Speaker 01

  Right?

• 23:44Mel Robbins?

  It took me to about 47. So, well, actually, it was 41 when I woke up and realized, nobody is coming to save my ass from this mess that I'm in. Not my husband, not my parents. It is nobody else's responsibility. We're in a gigantic hole.

• 23:59Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 23:59Mel Robbins?

  And since I don't see anybody else coming with a ladder, I better stop bitching and feeling sorry for myself and get to work.

• 24:07Speaker 01

  And when you go from even we, and I assume you're bringing your husband into that, right?

• 24:12Mel Robbins?

  Yes.

• 24:12Speaker 01

  And you go into I.

• 24:13Mel Robbins?

  I, I have to do.

• 24:15Speaker 01

  Like, we is good, because that's only two, that's better than, but when you go to I.

• 24:18Mel Robbins?

  I. It's not a we, it's me.

• 24:20Speaker 01

  But I need, oh, you know, all the people I'm talking to right now on the camera, I'm like, even if your spouse is the one who's like, let's make this invest, like, what are you gonna blame him or her forever?

• 24:29Mel Robbins?

  Well, I think that's a problem in a lot of relationships.

• 24:31Speaker 01

  No shit. Why do you think I'm bringing it up? I'm gonna say it again. If your husband made you buy that third home in South Carolina and it was a flop, or if your wife made you invest in a stock that, what are you gonna, just razz her in perpetuity? What are you gonna tell Johnny for the rest of your life? Our life would be better if you didn't make us buy that fucking house in Miami? It's not real. Mel, it's not real.

• 24:54Mel Robbins?

  So what do you do? Because what you're basically saying is, you have no idea how much time and energy you spend blaming other people for the state you're in in your life. Whether it's people who have what you want, or people that had a lot more privilege and had a better start than you did, or it's your parents for the things that they didn't do or that they did do, or it's your spouse because they're not showing up a certain way, and you're missing the single most important factor in your life that changes everything, which is you.

• 25:22Speaker 01

  Instead of like, like, envy and jealousy is driving me crazy. Why have you chosen, friends, to look at the three people on earth that are in their twenties that are trillionaires, or who've spent a million dollars on plastic surgery to look incredible? Why are you choosing to shape yourself up to them? Don't you know there's 8.3 billion other people that you could shape yourself up to? And I'm gonna say something nice and slow. If you are capable to be listening to the Mel Robbins podcast, if you are right now capable of having the time, whether you're on a treadmill, walking the damn dog, driving

• 26:02Speaker 01

  to work, if you are a human, by the way, that is maybe potentially doing it on a phone that costs several hundred dollars, if you're even a human that is hearing these words, you have it much better than most of the entire world. So how about that? How about not, wah wah, I'm not Timothy Chalamet? Like, how about 8.3 billion people? How about 800 million people can't get clean water? How about all the truth of the world? How about you do have it better than your grandma had it? How about real shit? How about gratitude? Enough of this envy. There's been so much envy, so much jealousy, as if anyone else's life has anything to

• 26:45Speaker 01

  do with you and comma, you know anything about their actual real life.

• 26:50Mel Robbins?

  So true.

• 26:51Speaker 01

  We put all these people on a pedestal, and meanwhile, that person is drinking a bottle of bourbon tonight because they can't deal with the pressure of the world's judgment because their emotional foundation isn't good enough. When are we gonna lead into gratitude?

• 27:05Mel Robbins?

  Do you think gratitude is the way you flip from blame?

• 27:10Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 27:10Mel Robbins?

  Because I think a lot of people are probably leaning in going, boy, okay, like, if you were to just calculate, okay, what are all the things I'm blaming on my childhood? That's, and it's holding me back because you're dragging it with you if you're still looking backward.

• 27:24Speaker 01

  Blaming your spouse, or blaming your boss, or blaming your daughter who's living the life you wish you were living, and you feel like you're doing it for her and no one did it for you. Blame, blame, blame, blame, blame, blah, blah, blah, blah. Gratitude, and here's a big one. How about some humility? Can we get humility back into the game? Like.

• 27:44Mel Robbins?

  Why do people think humility is weak?

• 27:46Speaker 01

  I don't know. I think people think kindness is weak.

• 27:49Mel Robbins?

  I don't get that.

• 27:51Speaker 01

  No shit, neither do I. Like, in this nanosecond, like, taking myself out of the podcast, I'm so happy right now because I'm happy people listen to you. I'm happy people listen to me. I'm happy, you know, people are focusing on all the bad that's out there. There are so many outlets to get good now.

• 28:07Mel Robbins?

  Yes.

• 28:08Speaker 01

  There's so many. And this is the point. First of all, kudos to everyone who's listening. You chose to consume some positivity. You chose to consume some accountability. You may not know why you like Mel, but I do.

• 28:24Mel Robbins?

  Why do they like me?

• 28:25Speaker 01

  Because they're on the cusp of change. They're in the pregame. I'm excited, like, literally, I don't know if you can see these, I'm pumped for them. They're close. Right?

• 28:35Mel Robbins?

  Yes.

• 28:35Speaker 01

  They're consuming you because they're close.

• 28:37Mel Robbins?

  Yes, and they, and, and you listen because you sense something that Gary and I know is true, that you are capable of bananas, extraordinary things.

• 28:52Speaker 01

  And let me say that real quick.

• 28:53Mel Robbins?

  If you can shift your mindset.

• 28:54Speaker 01

  Let me say something about that. For extraordinary things, not tens of millions of listeners to your podcast, or 33 businesses that you're juggling, the number one thing I have is not all the things you think I have. The number one thing I have is peace of mind.

• 29:15Speaker 01

  Do you know what I want for everyone? I don't want them to have a blue check, Mark Mel. I don't want them to have a million fucking followers. I don't need them to have a top five podcast or big businesses. I need them to have peace of mind. Do you know how many people listening right now should make a lot less money? They're making $240, but they don't like their job. They're living above their means, so they need their job to continue to pay for their lifestyle of things that bring them no actual joy. And you know what they need to do? They need to simplify their life. We must get out of this materialistic keeping up with the Joneses. Now, listen, I need action. Like, there's plenty of people listening right now that don't need simplicity. I need action. I need people because I love them too much. I need the game.

• 30:00Speaker 01

  I'm too creative. It's like too fun. I'm a city boy. I'm a people person. I love everyone regardless of what their intent is towards me. I need it, right? But if I didn't, I would, no one on earth would know me. I would live in the middle of absolutely nowhere and I would do simple things because I'm comfortable in being who I actually am.

• 30:21Mel Robbins?

  That is the secret to life.

• 30:23Speaker 01

  Period.

• 30:23Mel Robbins?

  Are you comfortable with yourself? Are you proud of yourself? Peace of mind means you're not questioning, who am I? What should I be doing today? What does this person think of me? That you know who you are. You know your intention. And I think this is really, really important because you chase the material thing because you think that if you have the right purse, or the right car, or the right outfit on, or the right house in the right neighborhood, or you belong to the right club, or you have your nails done the right way, that other people are going to think you are a certain person. And that is going to give you the confidence and peace of mind. It doesn't. It anchors your self-worth in someone else's opinion, which you will never control, which

• 31:08Mel Robbins?

  means you will always be chasing other people's opinions in order to get the validation that you can give to yourself.

• 31:15Speaker 01

  Yes. You know what my great hope is for 2050 to 2060? Is that the advancements of technology actually bring us back to simplicity? I believe this, by the way. This is one of my theses of how it could go. And, yeah, you might not have the same car. Your friends with husband might be just much more attractive than yours, or whatever it might be. You might be a director and not an SVP in your company. But I can tell you about me, Mel. I, the way I view people is 100% based on their humanity. The way I view, do I like someone? Do I not? Or, Mel, this may interest you. This you may not know about me.

• 31:57Speaker 01

  I am wildly unimpressed, including myself, in people's business accomplishments.

• 32:04Mel Robbins?

  That does not surprise me in the least. I want to keep going, going, going, but you know the deal. I gotta, I gotta hit the pause button so we can give our sponsors a chance to share a few words. And I know you're thinking of people in your life, because everything Gary is saying is hitting you as the truth. It is practical. It is tactical. And so while you listen to our sponsors, I want you to copy and paste and dump this in the family group chat. I want you to share this with your friends, because there are people in your life who need to hear everything that Gary is pouring into you today. And don't go anywhere, because when we come back, Gary and I are going to unpack the topic of time, regrets, and the three words that are keeping you feeling stuck and unhappy right now.

• 32:46Mel Robbins?

  Trust me, the next part of this conversation is going to wake you up and change the way you think about how you're living your life. Don't go anywhere. Gary Vaynerchuk and I are going to be right back.

• 33:01Mel Robbins?

  A lot of listeners from around the world have been writing and asking me, hey, Mel, what's your relationship with this Pure Genius Protein? So let me tell you. The medical experts and scientific researchers on this podcast kept coming on and telling you and me, we need more protein. I found this tiny 23 gram protein shot that you could drink in three seconds. It changed my life and health for the better, so much so, I decided to get involved and I became a co-founder. But there is one thing we wanted to add, fiber. Did you know 95% of Americans are not getting the recommended amount of fiber every day? And that's why I love what we have created. A 20 gram protein shot with five grams of fiber. You can drink it in three seconds. It's delicious. You're not going to feel bloated or full.

• 33:45Mel Robbins?

  You'll have all the benefits of protein and fiber in one shot before you even have your cup of coffee. You're going to love this. Use code MEL10 at puregeniusprotein.com for 10% off your first order. 20 grams of protein and five grams of fiber for under $3 a shot. Are you getting enough omega-3s in your diet? Your heart, brain, and immune system all need omega-3s to function the way they're supposed to. Now, this is backed by tens of thousands of studies. And yet, over 80% of Americans are not getting enough omega-3s from food alone. That's why I want to tell you about Nordic Naturals. This is not your typical fish oil. They use high-quality, sustainably sourced ingredients.

• 34:28Mel Robbins?

  They test everything for purity and freshness. And get this, it actually tastes good. No gross, ugh, aftertaste, and the worst, no fishy burps. I hate those. That's why Nordic Naturals is the number one selling omega-3 brand. Use promo code MEL for 15% off your next order at Nordic.com and discover the power of omega-3 with Nordic Naturals. Supplements are not evaluated by the FDA and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent diseases. When it comes to investing, or really anything, don't you think it's important to choose a company that you can trust? One where you have the freedom to do things your way with confidence?

• 35:13Mel Robbins?

  Because some days, you might want a little more control and flexibility. And other times, you may need a specialist in your corner to help out. Well, with Schwab, you get all that and more, all in one place. Schwab has everything from self-directed investing when you're thinking, hey, I got this, all the way to full-service wealth management when you're like, you know what? I'm going to need to get some help. That includes planning for big goals too, like college, buying a house, retirement planning, and more. Because if you're going to do this whole money thing, you might as well choose a firm that lets you do it your way, right? Visit schwab.com to learn more. That's S-C-H-W-A-B.com. Let me tell you about Verizon's brand new Simplicity Plan.

• 35:55Mel Robbins?

  It's one plan, one price, $30 a line per month, even for a single line, with their best 5G network for all. That's it. That's the plan. And when it comes to your phone, you can do what works for you. Already love your phone? Great, keep it. Or it's easy to buy a new one. Or you could upgrade to the newest phone every year for a monthly charge. So let's get this straight. One plan, one price, $30 a line per month, plus your phone and your way. And their best 5G network? I guess the Simplicity Plan is just that, super simple. Maybe that's why they named it that.

• 36:37Mel Robbins?

  One plan, one price, and the best network for everyone. Switch to Verizon today. For new customers, $30 a line includes auto pay and switch discount. Additional taxes, fees, and terms apply. Unlimited data is restricted to on-device smartphone usage. Domestic data roaming at 2G speeds. One of the things I'm most proud of here at the Mel Robbins Podcast is that we're constantly growing and hiring new amazing people to join the team. So let me introduce you to our new producer, Matt. Matt, you just moved to Boston, joined our team, furnished your new apartment with our sponsor, Wayfair. Be honest, how empty was this place when you got the keys?

• 37:16Speaker 02

  It was pretty sad, like, air mattress on the floor, eating takeout in a lawn chair, sad.

• 37:22Mel Robbins?

  So where did you even start?

• 37:24Speaker 02

  Went straight to Wayfair because I needed everything. Bed frame, couch, area rug, desk, you name it.

• 37:29Mel Robbins?

  How did Wayfair help you feel at home?

• 37:32Speaker 02

  Once I laid out the rug and assembled the couch, I was like, all right, this is home now.

• 37:36Mel Robbins?

  Well, there you have it. More than 20 million verified five-star reviews on Wayfair. Help shoppers buy with confidence. Plus, Wayfair Rewards members get 5% back on every purchase. Transform your space with pieces that hold up to real life. Join Wayfair Rewards today and get 5% back on every purchase. Head to wayfair.com or shop the Wayfair app for all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com.

• 38:06Mel Robbins?

  Welcome back. It's your friend Mel Robbins. Today, you and I are here with Gary Vaynerchuk, and he's teaching you how to stop making excuses, change your life right now. All right, Gary, let's just jump right back in. I really, truly believe, and I'm glad we're lasering in on this, that the measure of a person is not what they have, it's how they treat other people.

• 38:28Speaker 01

  The only thing I actually live my life for is my funeral.

• 38:33Mel Robbins?

  Let's go here, because one of my most favorite things that I have ever seen you do or say, it is a video, you're gonna know exactly which one it is as I start to speak. You are in a cab, I believe, and the window is down, and you're at a stoplight, and a woman runs over and is like, Gary, Gary, oh my God, Gary, I love you. You know, I need some motivation today. Give me some motivation. And you look out the window, and you look at her, and you say, you're gonna die. And she's kind of startled, and I don't remember the exact words, but it was, you're gonna die, we're all gonna die, what really matters is, how do you want to live? How do you want to live? And while

• 39:18Mel Robbins?

  you're here, and while you're still on this side of the dirt, and while people that you still love can still walk into the room, how are you going to live? Because you do not want to get to your funeral and go, God, I wish I had. Boy, I wish I would as a better person. See, I am like you, I constantly think about that moment. I want to reflect back and go, I was a good mom, I was like a good friend, you know?

• 39:44Speaker 01

  Gave a good run.

• 39:44Mel Robbins?

  I gave a good...

• 39:46Speaker 01

  I gave more than I took. I scratched the itches. You know, I'm very passionate about what I'm about to say. I think we've lost our way with the elderly. I think the last 30, 40 years of technology advancements have made us make fun of grandparents because they don't know how to use OpenClaw, or, you know, Instant Messenger, or Snapchat. And I think we've really done a disservice to ourselves by misunderstanding what true wisdom is. A hundred years ago, the thought of disrespecting an elder was as foreign as you can imagine. I like tactics sometimes. I got a weird one, everyone. This is a big

• 40:30Speaker 01

  one, actually. It's a very left field one. I promise you, I've literally never heard anyone else get hot on this one. So I like bringing it up. If you can volunteer five hours to a retirement home in your general area, like, literally call them, email them, be like, hey, was listening to Mel's podcast, like, super weird, you might think, but like, is there any way for me to, like, give five hours? So much good will happen in that five hours. First of all, a lot of people in those places are quite lonely, unfortunately. And really, you're right, you're like, I see, like, even saying it, like, coming out of my mouth, I was like, mm, and then you're mm, and I know a lot of people just went mm, right? It's just the way it is. It's really tough. So that breaks my heart. And

• 41:12Speaker 01

  you would be doing a real mitzvah, a real gift, a real nice thing, like, talking to a 91-year-old woman about her life will bring her incredible joy of just companionship. But here's a little secret. It's gonna do a lot more for you. And let me tell you, as someone who has gone out of his way to sit with people in their 80s on planes, and at airports, and in random moments in my life, the number one thing everyone listening to this podcast wants to avoid is regret. If anything comes out of this podcast, if one person, if one of you, if one of you decide to do something tomorrow, jump out of a plane

• 41:56Speaker 01

  skydiving, quit your job and become a dog walker, and live more humbly, get out of a toxic relationship.

• 42:03Mel Robbins?

  Yeah.

• 42:03Speaker 01

  Get out of regret. Do something tomorrow. Tomorrow. Do something tomorrow. This is probably, you're probably consuming this right as the fall, you know?

• 42:13Mel Robbins?

  Yes.

• 42:14Speaker 01

  The seasons change, right? Everyone, in your life, and in real life, we're coming out of summer, like, we're in the go time. It's September energy. It's football season. Tomorrow, tomorrow, do something that's been sitting in your tummy for a day, a year, and most likely a decade, Mel. And just do it, actually. I promise you, whatever that you're scared of is far less scary than 30 years from now, telling some random stranger that looks like Gary, that you, the worst sentence, Mel, is three words. I wish I...

• 42:52Speaker 01

  dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. And my great joy is that I don't live that way. 400 trillion to one, Mel.

• 43:04Mel Robbins?

  Yep.

• 43:04Speaker 01

  400 trillion to one. My friends, the current scientific, I'm no scientist, I got Fs in science, so...

• 43:11Mel Robbins?

  Right, here he goes.

• 43:13Speaker 01

  But what I've been able to consume, modern scientists that are way above my pay grade, currently have the likelihood of becoming a human being at 400 trillion to one.

• 43:24Mel Robbins?

  That you are you.

• 43:25Speaker 01

  That you were born. Mom could have went for another glass of wine before it went down, and the whole game would have been different, and you would not be you. Like, it is, it is, miracle is disrespectful to how impossible it is to have a life. So you're gonna mope around your whole life? Let me get this straight. You've won the ultimate lottery of the universe, of the actual universe, and we've decided we're gonna mope and cry about dumb shit? And here's the best part. You don't like it? Go change the room. Right?

• 43:55Mel Robbins?

  Yes.

• 43:56Speaker 01

  You don't like it? Change the room. You don't like your relationship? Change the house. You don't like your boss? Change the office.

• 44:01Mel Robbins?

  You don't like your mindset? Change it.

• 44:03Speaker 01

  Consume shit like this.

• 44:05Mel Robbins?

  Yeah, you don't like what's showing up on social media? Change where you follow.

• 44:08Speaker 01

  The algorithm is exposing who you actually are.

• 44:11Mel Robbins?

  It's so true.

• 44:13Speaker 01

  And, you know, listen, friends, the number one thing that's holding so many of you back is your lack of humility. I'm telling you, my friends, I'm begging you, I'm like, nose to mic, I'm begging you, lean into these old school values, humility, civility, like kindness towards straight, like, open the door for someone, smile. Do you know how many people I smile at, Mel?

• 44:35Mel Robbins?

  Everybody.

• 44:36Speaker 01

  You should see me in an airport. I'm a, I'm like, it's like a joke. I don't even know, like, you know, and now people know who I am. So it was a lot more fun back in the day, because, you know, like, no one...

• 44:46Mel Robbins?

  You're just the goofy guy with the big smile.

• 44:48Speaker 01

  Right. And like, and by the way, a lot of people smile back, and they need it. And then I would say this. I think people like myself, like you, I believe happiness has done a bad job. Let me explain. I think the last decade, unhappiness has been amazing at marketing. That the people that are unhappy are doing a great job. They're taking time to go around the internet, look at people's clips, allow themselves to get triggered, and then leave nasty comments. They're working.

• 45:24Mel Robbins?

  It is a full-time job to leave negative comments.

• 45:26Speaker 01

  I believe happiness is doing a bad job. I believe there are not enough of us, and Mel, I'm gonna say something right now that's really powerful. There's a lot of us, but they're quiet. They are quiet because they're not at the full place yet where they're willing to deal with the ridicule and the judgment for the bigger purpose. I didn't deal with any issues in high school or junior high around trying to fit in, like, I was incredibly well-liked because of how, you know, my personality is my personality. Peer pressure was nonexistent. I never compromised my morals or who I was in junior high or high school. I'm definitely not gonna fucking do it as an adult.

• 46:09Mel Robbins?

  So for somebody, though, who is crippled by other people's opinions, and I remember when I first started putting myself out there online, I was absolutely terrified of what my friends were gonna think. I was, I felt cringey as hell, and it is human nature to post, then to check how many people, then to question what you post, then to go down, and you've got a couple likes, and then see who's not liking it, and then look at the one comment that is the weird emoji, and then you wonder what they were actually thinking when they put the weird emoji, and then laser focus on the thing that's negative, instead of focusing on the thing that's positive. And I think that habit and instinct to go

• 46:51Mel Robbins?

  to what's wrong keeps so many people from leaning in and experimenting, because you say, Gary, life shrinks and expands in proportion to your willingness to take risks and try new things. And for most people, putting yourself out there, whether it's posting online, or changing your career, or starting to exercise, or starting that Etsy shop, is freaking terrifying.

• 47:17Speaker 01

  Yes, because their entire framework of how they see life is predicated on other people's opinions, everybody but them own selves.

• 47:25Mel Robbins?

  So how do you stop caring about what other people think?

• 47:27Speaker 01

  Practice.

• 47:29Mel Robbins?

  How do I practice?

• 47:30Speaker 01

  By doing it. You're looking at a boy who literally was scared shitless to swim and ride a bike. Like, there was a lot of things I was scared of.

• 47:41Speaker 01

  That I think I just got it all out of the system by the time I was 15, 16, 17, 18, somewhere in that range.

• 47:48Mel Robbins?

  Okay, so for the 57 year old, or the 27 year old, or the 37 year old.

• 47:52Speaker 01

  Let me give you the big one. Parents, if you have a child that gets bad grades, I'm gonna say something weird that I'm, I don't even know if I'm right, wrong, left, right, but I'm telling you, there's some real value. I see so many people, so many people, Mel, that are scared right now, we're too good of students. They drew too much in the line. They get validation from outside. Every 90 days from a teacher, A+, B+, A-, I think there's a lot there. And so to answer your question, practice. You've got to get used

• 48:31Speaker 01

  to, get ridiculed so much, get judged so much, get pushed back so much, that you can't hear it anymore.

• 48:41Mel Robbins?

  What's interesting, is that if you really think about the stepping up to the line, like I feel like you and I, our philosophy in life, could be explained by the Nike tagline, just do it. And the, most people don't understand the most powerful word of those three words. It's just. Because if their tagline had been, do it, that's not that inspiring. The just is so powerful because it honors this very human and universal moment of hesitation. You said that the person that's listening right now is on the cusp

• 49:21Speaker 01

  Yes, I believe that.

• 49:22Mel Robbins?

  of something. You have gotten up out of the stands, you've been watching a game, you're now standing there, on the sideline of the pickup basketball court, and you are hesitating. That just is an acknowledgement that the hesitation is normal. The hesitation is what you feel, right before

• 49:46Speaker 01

  100%.

• 49:47Mel Robbins?

  you push through.

• 49:48Speaker 01

  Can I use that analogy?

• 49:48Mel Robbins?

  Please.

• 49:50Speaker 01

  This is very important, everyone. I feel like I'm on to one here, so lock in. If I went on a basketball court right now,

• 49:57Mel Robbins?

  Yep.

• 49:58Speaker 01

  I'm a decent little player, but let's say this was just a really high level game, and I sucked, and the other nine people really went there of trying to make me feel bad about it. There's something in me, that asks them in return, a very simple question, which is like, you are correct. You nine are better at basketball than I am. But now I have a question for you. Are you a nicer boy than I am? Are you as good at making money as I am? Do you know how to make social media content as well as I do? Do you understand what live shopping is, and how much that can change your nine persons' lives today, today? Why have we gotten into a place where one, or two, or three things, that you're

• 50:40Speaker 01

  not as good at, are eating up all the oxygen? My friends, every one of you is great at something.

• 50:47Mel Robbins?

  It's true.

• 50:48Speaker 01

  I have a great friend, Nate, who was my admin for a long time, my co-founder in Empathy Wines, now works in the golfing industry. He was my admin when I had my son. And we got to play tennis a bunch, because I had a couple of weeks off.

• 51:01Mel Robbins?

  You're a tennis player?

• 51:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, I hack a little.

• 51:03Mel Robbins?

  I kind of see you in whites, okay.

• 51:04Speaker 01

  So, we would play one set, because I'd want to go home, back to the, to the boy, and like da, da, da. And twice in that summer, he was up 5-1, and I won. Came back and won 7-5 and 7-6. Couple things. One, it's because when I was down 5-1, I started to change the energy of the court. I started to verbalize towards him, and to myself.

• 51:28Mel Robbins?

  What did you say?

• 51:30Speaker 01

  The first time, I just started talking of like, Nate, I have a feeling I'm gonna come back. Like, it's crazy what verbalization does.

• 51:37Mel Robbins?

  Yes.

• 51:37Speaker 01

  And then, sports is wild. Life is sports. It's momentum. Right now, people, there's a 39 year old woman, right now, listening to this, and it's just not been going well? And literally, one point, AKA, one action she takes tomorrow, changes the whole calculus of the game, and her next 50 years are epic. Do you know how intoxicating that is to me?

• 51:57Mel Robbins?

  Oh, I love this, too. I love that you're one decision away, one action away from a completely different life.

• 52:03Speaker 01

  So anyway, I beat him.

• 52:05Mel Robbins?

  Okay.

• 52:05Speaker 01

  And then the second time, I'm just like, Nate, you know this is about to happen again? And it did. For years, when we would be together, I would bring up these two comebacks, to razz him a little bit, and like, boy talk, in business settings and different things. And he would always eat it. And finally, I turned to him and said, Nate, like after nine times using this on him, I looked at him and said, Nate, the next time I fucking say that, you look me dead in the face, and ask me what my handicap is. Because he's a remarkable golfer. Scratch. And I've played nine times in my life.

• 52:37Mel Robbins?

  Everybody's good at something.

• 52:39Speaker 01

  And that something might be, you're just a nice person. And I would argue, in Gary Vaynerchuk's scale of life, being a good human, is way ahead of 10 million followers, and $10 million in cash. And you may not believe me, because you don't know me, but that's because, you just don't know me.

• 53:00Mel Robbins?

  Gary, you and I are gonna talk for five hours, if I don't stop us right now, so I can take a break, and let our sponsors share a few words. Do not go anywhere. I know you're loving the conversation, but hang with us. Because when we return, Gary is gonna give some career advice, especially right now, if you're looking for a job. He's also gonna tell you, one word to never say again. He also has advice for you, if you think you want to start a business. And this is gonna be coming from one of the most successful and respected entrepreneurs on the planet. You don't want to miss what's coming next. Gary and I are gonna be right back.

• 53:39Mel Robbins?

  Are you getting enough omega-3s in your diet? Your heart, brain, and immune system all need omega-3s to function the way they're supposed to. Now, this is backed by tens of thousands of studies. And yet, over 80% of Americans are not getting enough omega-3s from food alone. That's why I want to tell you about Nordic Naturals. This is not your typical fish oil. They use high-quality, sustainably sourced ingredients. They test everything for purity and freshness, and get this, it actually tastes good. No gross, ugh, aftertaste, and the worst, no fishy burps, I hate those. That's why Nordic Naturals

• 54:21Mel Robbins?

  is the number one selling omega-3 brand. Use promo code MEL for 15% off your next order at Nordic.com, and discover the power of omega-3 with Nordic Naturals. Supplements are not evaluated by the FDA, and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent diseases. One of the things I'm most proud of, here at the Mel Robbins Podcast, is that we're constantly growing and hiring new, amazing people to join the team. So, let me introduce you to our new producer, Matt. Matt, you just moved to Boston, joined our team, furnished your new apartment with our sponsor, Wayfair. Be honest, how empty was this place, when you got the keys?

• 55:00Speaker 02

  It was pretty sad. Like, air mattress on the floor, eating takeout in a lawn chair, sad.

• 55:06Mel Robbins?

  So where did you even start?

• 55:07Speaker 02

  Went straight to Wayfair, because I needed everything. Bed frame, couch, area rug, desk, you name it.

• 55:13Mel Robbins?

  How did Wayfair help you feel at home?

• 55:16Speaker 02

  Once I laid out the rug, and assembled the couch, I was like, alright, this is home now.

• 55:20Mel Robbins?

  Well, there you have it. More than 20 million verified 5-star reviews on Wayfair. Help shoppers buy with confidence. Plus, Wayfair Rewards members get 5% back on every purchase. Transform your space with pieces that hold up to real life. Join Wayfair Rewards today and get 5% back on every purchase. Head to Wayfair.com, or shop the Wayfair app for all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com.

• 55:45Mel Robbins?

  The Mel Robbins Podcast is proudly sponsored by Amica Insurance, our exclusive insurance partner. You know when someone finishes your sentence, because they already understood what you needed? That's what working with Amica feels like. They don't guess. They don't assume. They take the time to understand what you're trying to protect, and why it matters. Most companies talk, talk, talk about putting customers first. Amica really does it. You feel it, in the way they listen, the way they follow through, the way they treat you. As a customer-owned company, Amica puts your needs first. Visit amica.com, and get a quote today.

• 56:26Mel Robbins?

  Welcome back. It's your friend Mel Robbins. Today you and I are here with Gary Vaynerchuk, and he's teaching you how to stop making excuses, change your life right now. All right, Gary, let's just jump right back in. I want to circle back because you told that story for a reason. And the reason why you told that story is because you just gave the tool and the tactic that gets you off the sideline.

• 56:49Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 56:49Mel Robbins?

  Because as you're standing there, whether the sideline for you is, I'm taking the real estate exam, I'm quitting this job, I'm leaving this relationship, I am going to learn how to make money online and do live shopping. Yes, I am. When you're standing on that line and the just do it and the hesitation is building, the only one criticizing you is you. And when you start to smack talk yourself, I'm doing the damn thing. I know I'm scared. I know it feels weird. Watch me make a comeback. Watch me change my life. It changes the trajectory of your life because now instead of arguing against yourself, which is what's creating the hesitation, by the way, nobody else in your life is going, don't you dare do that thing.

• 57:34Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 57:35Mel Robbins?

  It's you. It's heartbreaking. Don't you think it's heartbreaking?

• 57:37Speaker 01

  Yeah. So let me paint another picture, if you allow me.

• 57:40Mel Robbins?

  Of course.

• 57:41Speaker 01

  Live shopping. I'm obsessed.

• 57:43Mel Robbins?

  I know you're obsessed. So explain what live shopping is. It's QVC on social.

• 57:47Speaker 01

  Social media. That's right. Not complicated.

• 57:49Mel Robbins?

  Yes.

• 57:50Speaker 01

  It is go on TikTok right now and scroll for a while. Inevitably, within your first 15 scrolls, somebody is literally, instead of a piece of content, there's somebody who's actually live selling normally some tchotchkes that you don't need. Okay? But it is, but Mel, exactly where social media was, you know, you said you stumbled on me 14 years ago. So we're talking 12, 2012?

• 58:12Mel Robbins?

  Yes, 2012.

• 58:13Speaker 01

  I had already been making content about social for five full years every day.

• 58:17Mel Robbins?

  No kidding?

• 58:17Speaker 01

  Social, social.

• 58:18Mel Robbins?

  Wine, library, TV. Yes.

• 58:20Speaker 01

  Yeah. Wine, library, TV was '06. By '07, I'm making content of like, you can change your life on social. Everyone can do this. YouTube, Twitter, Facebook. Then a year later, I write this book. It comes out a year later, '09. That really puts me on. Where live shopping is right this second is exactly where social was in 2014.

• 58:39Mel Robbins?

  Okay.

• 58:39Speaker 01

  People know it. We've accepted that it's out there.

• 58:42Mel Robbins?

  Yep.

• 58:43Speaker 01

  You've heard of it. People know what TikTok shop is. People maybe have heard of whatnot. People have seen the headlines. It's not like everyone who's listening is like, what is that? Like, they might be like, what is that? But also, a lot of people listening right now are like, oh, I know what that is.

• 58:56Mel Robbins?

  I know what that is. It's the shop now button. It's the this button.

• 58:58Speaker 01

  And a lot of people think they've already missed it. Like, oh, darn. Or like, I don't get it.

• 59:02Mel Robbins?

  Okay, this is a big theme. Now, as you're listening to Gary right now, I want you to pay attention because he may be talking about live shopping. This is what's meant for you. This notion of, I missed it. I'm too late. I missed the window. Somebody else is doing it. Now I can't do it. This timeline.

• 59:19Speaker 01

  There's too many people selling purses already on shopping. I can't. Crazy.

• 59:24Mel Robbins?

  Yes, that because of out there, your internal dialogue goes, not me. And a lot of times, this sounds like, I'm too old, I'm too late, there's too many other people. And you're about to say, you're wrong.

• 59:37Speaker 01

  Not only you're wrong, we represent it. I, I've been podcasting since 2007. From 2000, when was COVID-19? From 2014 to 19, I had a top 100 podcast. Mine was different. It was ripping audio out of things that I were doing. And in two seconds, because you did it better, it didn't matter how many years of a head start.

• 1:00:02Mel Robbins?

  Do you want to know something crazy, though, Gary? In 2018,

• 1:00:05Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:00:06Mel Robbins?

  I remember seeing your podcast. I remember seeing other people's podcasts. I wanted to do a podcast because I had gotten my start in the media business by hosting a local radio show Saturday mornings here in Boston. You know what I told myself? As I'm standing on the sideline, watching your ass do your podcast, and I'm feeling the just do it hesitation, oh my God. I said, well, Gary's already done it. So the motivation and the, you know, that kind of thing that I want to do, it's already taken. It would be another six years before I stopped talking myself out of it and actually did it.

• 1:00:42Speaker 01

  How about this? How about in this podcast, I said very clearly, there are 10,000 listeners that are nice people too and want good for others that actually can do it.

• 1:00:56Mel Robbins?

  Of course.

• 1:00:56Speaker 01

  But do you know how crazy that is? Just this listener group. There's 10,000 people that can start right now. They're in dead zero. We, I'm.

• 1:01:06Mel Robbins?

  Well, everybody starts at dead zero.

• 1:01:08Speaker 01

  No shit, Sherlock. But and in a year, they could have a totally different life.

• 1:01:13Mel Robbins?

  The actual message to the person listening is, there is something that you are on the cusp of. There is something you are amazing at. And the more you sit around and watch everybody else do it, the more you are going to rot inside because you're not doing anything.

• 1:01:31Speaker 01

  The more you get your two index fingers and put them in your ears, and you can't hear others, and you take these risks and do things, the more likely your life will be joyful. You are literally, I'm thinking about this woman right now. I could just see her. You're not going to do this because when you go on TikTok and you sell something, you're concerned about the looks of the fellow moms when you drop off your junior high daughter because you, for some reason, value if they think that you're doing it because you don't have enough money or all these.

• 1:02:02Mel Robbins?

  Or you're trying to be an influencer.

• 1:02:04Speaker 01

  You're stuck in sixth grade. And my thing is, when the alpha of your group, because you're not, comes up to you and says, hey, Mel, saw your little TikTok thing. Like, what's going on? Is John not bringing enough money home? You guys need a couple bucks? We're happy to give you a couple of dollars. When she goes there, my brain goes to that basketball game. And you say to Susan, or Sally McGee, or Jocelyn, hey, Joss, how about X, Y, and Z? Because the thought that Jocelyn, the alpha that's going to razz you, has everything perfect, is insanity.

• 1:02:40Mel Robbins?

  Well, the other thing that's insanity is that you're allowing another person's opinion to stop you from living your life.

• 1:02:48Speaker 01

  And this goes to regret, Mel.

• 1:02:50Mel Robbins?

  And it goes to, you're going to die.

• 1:02:51Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 1:02:52Mel Robbins?

  And is the eulogies at your funeral going to be, well, she had all these dreams in her heart, but she was afraid of Jocelyn.

• 1:02:59Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 1:02:59Mel Robbins?

  And so instead, she kind of lived a small thing and didn't take any risks and lived with a lot of regret. And really, you know, at the end, Jocelyn moved on to a different friend group. But she thought a lot about how she should have done it. And then she beat herself up about regret.

• 1:03:15Speaker 01

  That's right. And so if we've learned anything in this podcast, it's fuck Jocelyn.

• 1:03:23Speaker 01

  I mean, like, really, though, like, friends, when or, and again, this is what intoxicates me about being here. You are not choosing as a human being to listen to this podcast over tuning into CNN and Fox and scaring yourself.

• 1:03:36Mel Robbins?

  Or celebrity, like, interviews or whatever.

• 1:03:38Speaker 01

  Or the reunion show of like,

• 1:03:41Mel Robbins?

  The reality, yes.

• 1:03:42Speaker 01

  And by the way, all of that's fine. Like,

• 1:03:43Mel Robbins?

  Great entertainment.

• 1:03:44Speaker 01

  I watch sports. Like, that doesn't mean anything. It's an escapism. It brings me joy. It's a balance to all the other stuff. But I know this. If you've decided to listen to this podcast, you're close. You're, I can't get over this. This is what keeps running in my head. I know they're close. I know it.

• 1:04:04Mel Robbins?

  Yes.

• 1:04:05Speaker 01

  Because I've lived it my whole life, also the last 20 years. People that consume my stuff are close to action.

• 1:04:10Mel Robbins?

  And here's, you want it. Like, you don't pass time listening to this. You make it. Because there is something in you that you know needs to be unearthed. And you listen to this because you're looking for the encouragement. You're looking for somebody like Gary, who has been there and who does this every day, to say, you can do this. But you have to stop listening to everybody else's opinion. You have to stop letting fear stand in your way. It is about action. Talk is so cheap.

• 1:04:40Speaker 01

  By the way, listen, friends, I know we, Mel and I have been like, really jamming, like a rock band in our garage for an hour on this one thing. Listen to me, friends. It is not lost on me on how hard this is. When you are fully bought in to other people's opinions, you've probably been there for 20 to 30 years to just be like, oh, yay, Gary and Mel, like, like, ranting now, and I'm going to do it. It's not quote unquote that easy. And yet it is. And I will say it, like, I can speak from personal experience. At some point, I just jumped in the pool. You know, at some point, you're just going to jump. You just are. And I, here's my big one. Here's my big one tactically. You

• 1:05:22Speaker 01

  need to start surrounding yourself with people that are cheering for you to jump in the pool, not making fun of you for not being in the pool.

• 1:05:28Mel Robbins?

  How do you do that when, in the physical world, they're not around you? Because I get, we get a lot of questions about this. I bet you do, too. So how do you build the cheering group online?

• 1:05:38Speaker 01

  Ready? When Mel posts on Instagram, reply to other people's replies to her post and start becoming friends, all of you. Mel Mafia, start becoming friends with each other in Mel's comments. Here's what's gonna happen, Mel. Sally reads all the comments from your post. She finds Kristen's comment that she associates with. She replies, Kristen, I couldn't agree with you more. She also clicks Kristen's profile and looks at her profile and says, PS, your dog is so cute. Got it? We're putting a little effort into positivity.

• 1:06:12Mel Robbins?

  Yes, okay.

• 1:06:13Speaker 01

  Kristen is just a regular, good old Kristen. She's not accustomed to people liking her comment and replying to it. She sees it in her notification. She then goes looks. She's on the receiving end of love and warmth. She reads that comment. She looks at the first person's comment and says, oh, my God, I love your backyard. You know what happens next? One of them DMs each other. You know what happens next? That goes on for a couple of weeks. You know what happens next? A phone call, a Zoom. You know what happens next? They actually meet in person.

• 1:06:44Mel Robbins?

  I love this.

• 1:06:45Speaker 01

  Our slogan in Be Friends is strangers become acquaintances, acquaintances become friends, and friends become family. I'm obsessed with this. Do you know why I love collectibles and believe it's a huge trend? And that it's about to join fashion and sports and music as a lifestyle genre? Because collectibles, you don't need the cardboard of a baseball card that's worth $2 million. It's worth nothing. You don't need the pieces of paper of a comic book that ends up being worth $10,000. The actual intrinsic value is nothing. You definitely don't need collectibles. It is not a necessity. The only necessity about collectibles is community. Do you know why sports works? It's something that's not the most important thing in the world that brings everyone together,

• 1:07:28Speaker 01

  and we're talking about the same thing. Do you know why music works? You all like, it's tribalism on something that's positive. Do you know what Comic Con looks like? Oh, my God, if you wear a Spider-Man outfit and someone else loves Spider-Man, these are two strangers that hug it out like they're long-lost best friends. Collectibles are important because when I go to the trade show in Chicago for four days, hundreds of thousands of people, we just all like cardboard with athletes on it, right?

• 1:07:59Mel Robbins?

  I want to take this because there is something about your life that you love. Needle pointing, gardening, like it could be tractor pulling. It could be anything.

• 1:08:07Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:08:08Mel Robbins?

  People around you misunderstand you. You can find a community of people that are in it. And if you put yourself intentionally in it, get up to the line, just do it, hesitate, hesitate, I'm doing it, and you jump into that community, you now feel lifted up.

• 1:08:24Speaker 01

  Mel, this whole little rant is why I believe social media is the greatest, not the worst. Everybody has become infatuated with talking about all the bad of social. You said something very important earlier. You said for the people here who can't physically find it around them.

• 1:08:39Mel Robbins?

  Yes.

• 1:08:39Speaker 01

  They live in a neighborhood, all their family members, negative Nellies. All their friend group, cynical cats. The fact that they can open their phone and comment in Mel's Instagram posts and find her people? Friends, all of you that love this podcast, the biggest mistake you're doing is not interacting with each other in Mel's comments.

• 1:09:01Mel Robbins?

  That is a huge gift you're giving me and the person listening.

• 1:09:03Speaker 01

  Mel, it's actually the number one thing that I want to happen with content. I want, one of the things that's not happening is I want everyone to start using the comments like Facebook groups.

• 1:09:14Mel Robbins?

  Rather than talking to me and commenting to me, comment to each other.

• 1:09:17Speaker 01

  Yes, because it's bigger than us.

• 1:09:19Mel Robbins?

  Yes.

• 1:09:19Speaker 01

  What we do for a living is so uncomfortably bigger than us.

• 1:09:23Mel Robbins?

  I don't think it's about me at all.

• 1:09:24Speaker 01

  Nor do I.

• 1:09:26Mel Robbins?

  I want to ask you some rapid fire questions.

• 1:09:28Speaker 01

  Please.

• 1:09:28Mel Robbins?

  Because this is what people, when, you know, people are looking for advice from you online, these are the top things people ask you.

• 1:09:36Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:09:36Mel Robbins?

  What's one thing the person listening can do today to build self-confidence?

• 1:09:42Speaker 01

  Make a video that tells everybody all their shortcomings.

• 1:09:45Mel Robbins?

  What?

• 1:09:46Speaker 01

  Mel, everything is the last scene of Eight Mile, Eminem's movie. Eminem's movie, Eight Mile, the last scene is a battle rap. Eminem goes first, which is actually a disadvantage in battle rap. So what does he do? He flips the script. He makes fun of himself the entire time, and then at the tail end, he goes, but I know something about you, to clearance. I believe the number one thing that most people watching or listening to this podcast should do is make a video and tell the world what they suck at.

• 1:10:19Mel Robbins?

  Wow.

• 1:10:20Speaker 01

  It is the great liberating piece of content that is sitting on the fingertips of society that no one's doing. Because once you take control of it, they don't have control of it.

• 1:10:31Mel Robbins?

  Oh, the thing you're afraid to say actually owns you.

• 1:10:35Speaker 01

  Owns your fucking ass. It's your jail. Almost everyone is not posting because of something like that.

• 1:10:44Mel Robbins?

  And almost everybody is not posting because they think there's a perfect thing to post?

• 1:10:49Speaker 01

  Correct.

• 1:10:49Mel Robbins?

  And the only thing to post is the thing you're afraid to say.

• 1:10:53Speaker 01

  And the reason.

• 1:10:53Mel Robbins?

  I'm brand new at posting music videos, and I'm scared to death to do this, and some of you may think this sucks, and I've been talking myself out of it for 17 months, but here goes.

• 1:11:05Speaker 01

  And everybody's not posting, and I mean everybody. Almost no one's actually posting, and they're all not posting. You know why? They like their little facade. They're safe in their fakeness. They want everyone to think it's awesome. Johnny and me are doing great. My kids are perfect. Everyone's fucking great. No one's great. And that's what's great. Everyone's got something, geez.

• 1:11:31Mel Robbins?

  What's the piece of advice you would give to somebody who wants to start a business? And what's the worst?

• 1:11:37Speaker 01

  The best advices are, are you actually capable? You know, one of the proud things I am is I definitely feel like I'm in a very small group of people that made being a business person or entrepreneur cool 20 years ago. It feels really neat, you know?

• 1:11:50Mel Robbins?

  Yeah, you inspired, so what does that feel like to know that you've inspired millions and millions and millions of people around the world to lean in, start, change your life, start a business?

• 1:12:01Speaker 01

  Well, you know, it's so funny, you represent something even cooler, which is I got to do it so early that so many people came along, were inspired by me, that have inspired more people than even I did. It feels so good. All I want is the world to wake up. That's all I want.

• 1:12:16Mel Robbins?

  And what?

• 1:12:17Speaker 01

  And realize it's awesome. Like it is. Now, it might not be awesome right now because you're $80,000 in debt, your marriage is falling apart, like your kid is struggling, it's, but it is, like this is the brainfuck. It's awesome because you have a chance to change it.

• 1:12:35Mel Robbins?

  I think the big mistake that people make is thinking that there is some perfect life, there is some life where you're going to be happy all the time, and that that's the point of life. And the goal is not perfection or happiness.

• 1:12:47Speaker 01

  What is perfect?

• 1:12:48Mel Robbins?

  It's aliveness.

• 1:12:49Speaker 01

  What's perfect? By whose fucking definition?

• 1:12:52Mel Robbins?

  So when you say awesome, life is awesome, I think what you're saying is you don't actually have to feel like it's awesome for you to call your life beautiful and good.

• 1:13:03Speaker 01

  Mel, the New York Knicks. Do you know how much joy I still feel and most of New York City feels about what happened a couple of months ago? Do you understand that the Knicks were losing by 29 points late in an NBA Finals and no team had ever done it before? And guess what? We did. There is someone right now who's down 29 points, down 29 points in the fourth quarter and can win. Do you know how cruel that is? Do you know how awesome that is? Everything's gone wrong and one smart decision. But it starts with, this is on me. And this is where the politicians have been brilliant, this is where the bosses have been brilliant, and this is where the parents have been brilliant.

• 1:13:46Speaker 01

  They've weaponized and manipulated their subjects into thinking they can help them. Mel, do you know what's really cool?

• 1:13:55Mel Robbins?

  Tell me.

• 1:13:55Speaker 01

  I don't think I can help anyone. I do not believe that Gary Vee content or me, the human, can help anyone, but I can help them realize that they can help themselves.

• 1:14:05Mel Robbins?

  Correct. So if someone's looking for a job right now?

• 1:14:08Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:14:08Mel Robbins?

  Whether they lost it or they're in a new grad in this market, Gary, what is the number one skill that you think they should be focusing on?

• 1:14:15Speaker 01

  Making content on LinkedIn.

• 1:14:17Mel Robbins?

  Making content on LinkedIn?

• 1:14:19Speaker 01

  How about that one? You know why? I'm obsessed with optionality.

• 1:14:23Mel Robbins?

  What does that mean?

• 1:14:24Speaker 01

  Let me explain. If you lost your job and you're like debating, do I want another job similar? Or do I want to do something on my own? If everyone understood what I understood, which is LinkedIn is exactly the same thing as Facebook and Instagram, except the audience perspective and mentality when they're on it is different. If you put out content on LinkedIn, whether it's about the things you think about your industry. So you're an executive assistant.

• 1:14:48Mel Robbins?

  Yep.

• 1:14:49Speaker 01

  And so you're making content on LinkedIn about five rules. Hey, everyone, it's Susan. I'm in between gigs. I've been doing executive assistant work for the last nine years. Just gonna make this video. Five things every executive assistant or someone getting into it should know about the game.

• 1:15:03Mel Robbins?

  Now, I want to point something out. Notice he said, "I'm in between gigs." Most people wouldn't say that because you don't want people to know that. And Gary is telling you, saying the thing you don't want to say is not a sign that you're a loser. It's a sign that you're a winner and that you're secure in yourself and you're still showing up.

• 1:15:24Speaker 01

  Mel, your embarrassment is your advantage.

• 1:15:28Mel Robbins?

  What do you mean?

• 1:15:29Speaker 01

  I mean, your embarrassment is your uniqueness. It's your nuance. It's your snowflake. I just don't know how people can't see this. Your unique situation is your biggest advantage, regardless if the world currently thinks... It's right. Let me give you a big one for me.

• 1:15:45Mel Robbins?

  Yes.

• 1:15:46Speaker 01

  I pounded against college for a decade in my content in the early 2000s and got completely shit on by everyone.

• 1:15:54Mel Robbins?

  Like, what he's talking about is that for a decade, Gary was questioning...

• 1:15:58Speaker 01

  2005, '07, '09, '11.

• 1:16:01Mel Robbins?

  College is a waste for a lot of people. Do you need to go to college? You do not need to go to college. The world is changing.

• 1:16:06Speaker 01

  2007, I'm making a video saying college isn't right. And I always was nuanced. If you're creative or entrepreneurial and your parents can't afford to pay for it, I do not think you should go take $120,000 in debt to have a piece of paper that I'm projecting in 20 years won't matter.

• 1:16:26Mel Robbins?

  Yep.

• 1:16:26Speaker 01

  And Mel, I got destroyed.

• 1:16:29Mel Robbins?

  Well...

• 1:16:30Speaker 01

  No, really, Mel. Like, it was probably the subject matter that I most got the most private and public comment heat of for a decade.

• 1:16:37Mel Robbins?

  Wow.

• 1:16:37Speaker 01

  Gary, you're saying this because you were a bad student. You suck. You're not smart. You curse and you're bad at school. You don't have intellect. Blah, blah, blah. And then miraculously, 15 years later, people are like, wait a minute. And so what I'm saying is, if it's your truth... My truth was I thought a lot of kids were getting screwed by college.

• 1:16:59Mel Robbins?

  Yes. I agree with you.

• 1:17:01Speaker 01

  But man, was I on an island in 2007. I'm telling you, I was in a really lonely place and I would not stop because I believed in my soul. And you think I want to tell the world that I sucked at candor for 20 years and was horrible at firing? And that there's people out there that are still mad at me because I pulled the rug from out there? I'm embarrassed. Mel? I don't think all my other success hides...

• 1:17:24Mel Robbins?

  What do you do with those failures?

• 1:17:26Speaker 01

  Adjust. Own and adjust. And then, by the way, my friends, pay attention to your relationship with "should." My relationship with "should" is remarkable. I don't use it. I don't think I should have anything. In fact, I think if I'm working 15 hours a day... Let me say this slow. And for three years straight, I don't think I should have anything. Because if I'm not working effectively or something that's bringing value to someone, I should get nothing.

• 1:17:57Mel Robbins?

  Cause and effect.

• 1:17:58Speaker 01

  That's a tough one. You know, like, okay, Gary, Mel, I've been working on my podcast for nine years, 12 hours a day. Like, what's up? What's up is you stink.

• 1:18:06Mel Robbins?

  I'm sorry.

• 1:18:08Speaker 01

  I mean, I don't know. Like, it's okay. Like, by the way, like, I stink a lot, like...

• 1:18:11Mel Robbins?

  There's a lot of things I've done that stink, which is why I don't do them anymore.

• 1:18:14Speaker 01

  Correct. Now, we're getting into like, are you navigating? How self-aware are you? Where's your humility? But I'm gonna say it again. There's a lot of people exhausted because they are not realizing how much envy and jealousy is eating up their soul. I'm gonna say it nice and slow. As of this moment, that most people are listening, obviously, people will listen this years from now, but knowing when this is gonna air, they just went through June, July, and August, and they got triggered by someone else's happiness. We need to talk about this more.

• 1:18:45Mel Robbins?

  I had a moment in my life where I just got tired of myself.

• 1:18:50Speaker 01

  That.

• 1:18:51Mel Robbins?

  I got so sick of being a person that thought life should be different, that thought I should have the things other people did, that was jealous of people I wanted to be happy for. And I realized, wait, if I don't like the person I am and if I don't like how I feel, I'm not stuck as this version of myself.

• 1:19:11Speaker 01

  In the realest way.

• 1:19:12Mel Robbins?

  I need to change this if I don't like the way my life feels.

• 1:19:16Speaker 01

  Even in the most competitive place I am as a professional.

• 1:19:19Mel Robbins?

  Yes.

• 1:19:19Speaker 01

  Like, I do business the way like athletes do athlete.

• 1:19:22Mel Robbins?

  I know. I love that about you.

• 1:19:23Speaker 01

  You know, like, they're like, in real life, they're very sweet, but when they get on the field, they want to crush.

• 1:19:27Mel Robbins?

  Yes.

• 1:19:28Speaker 01

  Even in my most competitive domain, my professional career, if you knew how much joy I have for people that are seemingly on paper competing with me when they are winning, what many of my contemporaries view as coming out of them, it does not even register. I could not be happier for people that pass me in following count, pass me in financial status, pass me in listener count. I could not be more happy for all of you.

• 1:19:59Mel Robbins?

  Why?

• 1:20:00Speaker 01

  Because the world is abundant and your joy has nothing to do with me. My joy is my joy and your joy is your joy. And friends, there's unlimited stuff. There's unlimited happiness. There's unlimited love. There's unlimited joy. There's unlimited materialistic things. And just like, no one's taking out of you. You're taking out of you.

• 1:20:20Mel Robbins?

  If this were the last thing that you could share with somebody, the one message that you wanted the person who's been listening to this to remember, what would it be?

• 1:20:32Speaker 01

  Then nothing in the end... In the end, none of the shit that you're worried about is gonna actually matter. So if that is true, and guess what? I know everyone knows I'm right. Then why not start living your life that way right this second?

• 1:20:45Mel Robbins?

  What are your parting words?

• 1:20:48Speaker 01

  That life can be so much better than the way it is right now. I think there's a confusion in the system. I really, really love you and it's time you love yourself.

• 1:20:57Mel Robbins?

  Gary, I really love you. I do. And I know you don't do a lot of interviews. And so the fact that you wanted to be here, that you made the time to be here, that you did that both for me as somebody who I truly, when I tell you this, I am where I am in my life because of the content that you put out and the message that you put out and the way that you've changed the way that I think. And I really have always felt in everything that you've done that there is this incredible combination of ambition and confidence and fun and business and go and build and chase

• 1:21:42Mel Robbins?

  and how fucking cool is this? And at the same time, this humble, connected, profound understanding of what is true in life. And I feel like you are a twin flame and a huge bright light. And I just want to thank you for truly changing my life and inspiring me.

• 1:22:10Speaker 01

  That is incredibly humbling. And, you know, to me, it honors what I most believe in the world. That is so much bigger than me, which is like, this is real. There are so much... Right now, the world is very confused that hate is winning. My friends, hate's in trouble. Love is always lurking. You know? And I'm really just uncomfortably proud of you. And more importantly, in this moment, there's just a lot of people listening that are on the cusp. I am so proud and pumped for you, but I am here strictly because I know one person's ready to tip and I know our combination today will do that.

• 1:22:52Mel Robbins?

  Well, Gary Vee, I love you.

• 1:22:54Speaker 01

  I love you back.

• 1:22:54Mel Robbins?

  Thank you for coming here and partnering with me on behalf of the person who spent all this time with us. And I just want to say to you, thank you for making the time to be with me and Gary. Go follow him. Go comment with the other people in the comments, for God's sakes, and get off the damn line and get into the game. Your life depends on it. In case nobody else tells you. As your friend, I'm gonna be sure to remind you that I love you. I know Gary loves you and we both believe in your ability to create a better life. Now, go fucking do it.

• 1:23:29Mel Robbins?

  All right, you ready? Oh, my God. Gary! Thank you, my dear. Great job setting this up, you guys.

• 1:23:36Speaker 01

  Make a video that tells everybody all their shortcomings.

• 1:23:39Mel Robbins?

  What?

• 1:23:41Speaker 01

  You like that one? You like that one?

• 1:23:44Mel Robbins?

  He's pointing to Tracy.

• 1:23:46Speaker 01

  Literally walked on stage, 10,000 people. Opening line, "F your grandparents."

• 1:23:50Mel Robbins?

  I am a huge fan of fantasy fiction and I particularly love the series, A Court of Thorn and Roses. Love, Akatar. Now, go fucking do it. Forever grateful you're gonna be listening to this sucker on repeat. Good hope. No, you're the best. Thank you. I really...

• 1:24:17Mel Robbins?

  Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode.

• 1:25:00Mel Robbins?

  Am I the only one who feels like choosing the right product sometimes is just so complicated? Have you ever tried to read the label for something and it looks like a science experiment rather than something you'd want to use? Thanks. I think I'll pass. I mean, you and I want to use products that do what they're supposed to do, but you also want to feel good about the products that you buy. And that includes the ingredients that are in them. So when it comes to laundry, the choice is clear. All Free Clear detergent. All Free Clear tackles stains and odors. It not only gets the cleaning job done, it's also 100% free from dyes, perfumes, parabens, and irritating residues. All Free Clear provides a powerful clean while being gentle on your skin with only essential ingredients

• 1:25:45Mel Robbins?

  and zero dyes and perfumes. Check out the label and see for yourself. It lists all the ingredients and what they do. And All Free Clear is the number one detergent brand recommended by dermatologists for sensitive skin. When it comes to laundry detergent, the choice is clear. All Free Clear. Pick up a bottle for your next laundry day. This episode is brought to you by SoFi, the everything app for smarter money. Let me ask you something. Is your money working for you? Or is it just sitting there? A lot of us work hard, get paid, and then leave our paycheck in checking. That's an easy habit to change. With SoFi Checking and Savings, you can earn up to 3.8% savings APY for up to six months with no account fees

• 1:26:29Mel Robbins?

  and a cash bonus of up to $400 when you sign up with eligible direct deposit. Terms apply. It takes just minutes to open an account from your phone and you can organize your savings into vaults for the goals you're working toward. Go to sofi.com/mel to get started. SoFi, get your money right. SoFi Checking and Savings is offered through SoFi Bank, N.A., member FDIC.