Why Your Biggest Gambles Must Always Be On Yourself (with Kandi Burruss)

If you’ve ever felt the sting of being underestimated, been told your best ideas were too big, or wondered how to turn the next chapter of your life into a big win, this is your episode. We dive into the emotional highs and lows of being someone who refused to stay behind the scenes, the balance of motherhood and ambition and the gamble of betting on yourself when the stakes feel impossibly high. You'll hear how Kandi navigated the heartbreak of deals that fell through, leaned into vulnerability to write songs that became cultural anthems, and faced the drama of 'Real Housewives' cameras while protecting her sense of self. Kandi gets real about being a Grammy winning hit maker crafting culture-defining hits like “No Scrubs,” launching businesses out of tough seasons, and the humility hack that keeps her grounded no matter how high she climbs. In this conversation, she shares the blueprint she’s built for making bold moves, trusting your gut, and using every platform—housewives drama, hit records, even home kitchens—to power a life that truly aspires.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:09Emma Grede?

  Candy Burris is a Grammy winning songwriter, reality TV icon, serial entrepreneur and Broadway powerhouse. Candy has never fit into one box because she never planned to. From girl group fame with Escape to penning hits for music legends like Whitney Houston and Destiny's Child, from dominating Real Housewives of Atlanta for over a decade to rewriting the rules as one of the most successful producers on Broadway, Candy's built a career on talent, tenacity and a fierce commitment to ownership. But behind the spotlight is a woman shaped by early values, smart hustle and the belief that every opportunity is a chance to create another. Today, we talk about what it means to build leverage,

• 0:52Emma Grede?

  learn from mistakes and make bold moves across industries that weren't always built for women like her. This is a conversation about evolution, influence and what it takes to play the long game. Coming up on the Aspire Podcast today, Candy Burris.

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• 2:45Emma Grede?

  Candy, I'm so happy to have you here today in Atlanta. Welcome to Aspire.

• 2:51Speaker 03

  Well, thank you for having me.

• 2:52Emma Grede?

  I have so much to talk to you about, but I have to tell you, I went to see Othello on Broadway.

• 2:57Speaker 03

  Oh, you did?

• 2:58Emma Grede?

  Of course I did, with Denzel and Jake. And I literally, first of all, I've never seen more black people in the theater. And I thought, one, I have to ask you, do you think that that's because of you? And how proud are you to have the highest grossing theater production on Broadway? What an achievement.

• 3:16Speaker 03

  It's a, okay, first of all, that's an amazing achievement to say that we made history.

• 3:21Emma Grede?

  It's crazy.

• 3:22Speaker 03

  It was crazy. Like, I mean, it's a blessing to be able to put up numbers, obviously, in any project that you're a part of. But to be able to do Broadway.

• 3:33Emma Grede?

  Broadway with Denzel, no less.

• 3:35Speaker 03

  As a black producer and say, we made history. Like, opening night, you know, I was, you know, sitting next to Anna Wintour and Joe Biden, President Joe Biden, excuse me. I don't want to just act like we're so familiar. You're my Joe. Right next on the same aisle, right, like two seats over. So it was like, wow. In my mind, I think I was sitting there thinking to myself like, wow, this is such a blessing. And you know how you have one of those moments when you're doing the thing and you're like, this is, yeah, this is what I'm doing. But then you have that moment where it sinks in like, wow, not only am I doing the thing that I've always wanted to do.

• 4:16Emma Grede?

  At a level.

• 4:17Speaker 03

  At that level.

• 4:18Emma Grede?

  At a level.

• 4:19Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 4:20Emma Grede?

  It's crazy.

• 4:20Speaker 03

  It's a dream come true.

• 4:21Emma Grede?

  Honestly, I could feel that for you because it feels like such a monumental moment. And I feel like just understanding your journey, could you take it in? Could you sit there and be like, I am so proud of myself right now?

• 4:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, definitely. It was definitely a proud moment. Because it's, you know, so many people that I admire and look up to were in the room.

• 4:43Emma Grede?

  Yeah.

• 4:44Speaker 03

  You know?

• 4:45Emma Grede?

  But not just that, right? The audiences, because I go to the theater a lot. I grew up in London and it's just like part of what I've always loved doing.

• 4:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:52Emma Grede?

  But the audience, just looking around, I mean, it was palpable, the difference in there. Never have I seen more black people, more people of color, but also more young people.

• 5:00Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 5:00Emma Grede?

  And I think, do you, is that directly attributed to the fact of your involvement, do you think?

• 5:05Speaker 03

  It's so important to be supported by our community.

• 5:08Emma Grede?

  Yes.

• 5:09Speaker 03

  And I have definitely used my platform and I go here, there and everywhere to make sure that, and I think it's a thing of, we never as black Americans, anyway, felt like that was our place.

• 5:26Emma Grede?

  Of course.

• 5:26Speaker 03

  Meaning that was the place that welcomed us.

• 5:28Emma Grede?

  Yes.

• 5:29Speaker 03

  For years, you know, Broadway was known as the great white way.

• 5:33Emma Grede?

  Mm hmm.

• 5:34Speaker 03

  And it's not that, you know, obviously, America itself has become, you know, more aware of race and trying to do, I guess, hopefully, people want to do better. But we as a community have to put ourselves in those spaces and help bring each other up.

• 5:52Emma Grede?

  Yeah, but also to have stories that are more reflective of that audience.

• 5:57Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 5:58Emma Grede?

  And I feel like that's what you've done. I mean, I want to talk to you about your entire theater career because this is just like the cherry on the cake, but there's so much work there and a body of work that is so reflective of your community. And to me, it just, it felt like a big deal. I sat down and I said to my husband, who is a white guy, I was like, look at this. And he said, oh, yeah. Like, there's a lot of black people here. That must be candy. And I was like, damn right it is.

• 6:22Speaker 03

  This funny thing is.

• 6:23Emma Grede?

  It's not lost.

• 6:23Speaker 03

  I find it so hilarious that people actually recognize that because this is funny. I mean, I'm just going to be honest. You know, I do see some people in certain, you know, platforms and blogs that like to be like, I mean, she's not the only producer. What is she doing? Like, oh, that's what you think?

• 6:42Emma Grede?

  That's what you think.

• 6:43Speaker 03

  Do you think I have no, oh, okay. Because I'm not going to take anything away from anybody on our team, right? I think all of us bring a lot to the table.

• 6:52Emma Grede?

  No doubt you do.

• 6:53Speaker 03

  But I will say that I know I bring a lot to the table and it's in everything I do, not just Broadway. I'm always trying to find a way to bring more opportunity and bring just, allowing us to just be grand.

• 7:10Emma Grede?

  Yeah. Well, honestly, I think you do it beautifully and you should be really, really proud of yourself. And I want to get a better understanding of how you got to where you are today.

• 7:20Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 7:21Emma Grede?

  Can I ask you, did you grow up around anyone who had a business? Like, did you have an early example of what it means to be an entrepreneur?

• 7:28Speaker 03

  No. I always tell people, I didn't go to college. I did not have a lot of. College graduates around me because like I said.

• 7:37Emma Grede?

  When did you leave school?

• 7:39Speaker 03

  Uh, well, I got my record deal when I was still in high school. So we signed a SO SO DEAF when I was in 11th grade. And um, coming into my senior year, Just Kicking, it was like already top of the chart. You know? So it was like, it was like a dream come true. But it's a lot that happened in my younger years. I guess that kind of made me reflective of who I am. My mom was a single mom raising me and my brother. And then, you know, I lost my brother when I was, summer before 10th grade. So it was a lot that, you know, happened, I guess, leading up to the success, I guess.

• 8:21Emma Grede?

  Yes. So I, I have to, I mean, we've got to go back and talk about Escape a little bit because, I mean, Escape was absolutely huge. But like you said, you started that when you were in high school. You were so, so young, doing a pretty big woman job, I imagine, at the time.

• 8:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:36Emma Grede?

  Right? And getting big woman attention. Um, what do you remember about that moment in your life? Like, can you just take me back to like, how that was founded? And like, how you felt being so young and having all that attention?

• 8:48Speaker 03

  I mean, I felt great.

• 8:51Emma Grede?

  I love you for saying that. It felt so good.

• 8:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, okay, so.

• 8:55Emma Grede?

  Did the kids around you, like, did the kids in your high school embrace it? Were they like, oh my God, this is amazing?

• 8:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, at first, I mean, yeah, I would say for sure. See, um, so our group, our high school was a performing arts high school.

• 9:08Emma Grede?

  Right.

• 9:08Speaker 03

  So I went, our group went there, OutKast went there. So a lot of us, you know, went to the same school before we took off. You get what I'm saying? So everybody had dreams of being an artist, you know? I met my group members when I first got there. I was in the ninth grade and uh, Tamika Scott was in the 10th and Tasha was a senior at the school. And so we met, I started hanging out with them all the time. We were singing at church together all the time. And when we first started, like, actually becoming a group, we ended up, we were a group for like, two years before the deal actually happened.

• 9:47Emma Grede?

  Wow.

• 9:48Speaker 03

  So I think.

• 9:48Emma Grede?

  So what, you were like, gigging and you were going and like, doing shows in places?

• 9:52Speaker 03

  You know, we would just go sing for anybody who would. Listen.

• 9:56Emma Grede?

  Have you? Yeah.

• 9:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, and hope, and you know, and finally, we sang for Jermaine Dupri.

• 10:00Emma Grede?

  Yes.

• 10:01Speaker 03

  And we sang for him at his nineteenth birthday party. I remember that. And he was like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna sign y'all, but.

• 10:07Emma Grede?

  Was that a big deal then? Like, was Jermaine Dupri at nineteen, like, a thing?

• 10:11Speaker 03

  Well, he had done some things, but he, Criss Cross hadn't come out yet.

• 10:14Emma Grede?

  Okay.

• 10:15Speaker 03

  So he was actually working on them at the time. And so he was like, you know, I got a group that's about to come out. And once I, you know.

• 10:21Emma Grede?

  I remember that.

• 10:21Speaker 03

  Once I finished with them.

• 10:23Emma Grede?

  Every boy in my neighborhood turned their pants around and went around.

• 10:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:27Emma Grede?

  Biggest thing all over Europe.

• 10:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:30Emma Grede?

  Like, obviously in the States, but all over Europe.

• 10:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, he said he was gonna come back and sign us, but in our mind, we was like, oh, you're right. Because a lot of people had kind of said they wanted to work with us and it didn't work out for whatever reason. So we were kind of feeling like, oh, it's just another person that's in there.

• 10:44Emma Grede?

  Did you know you were gonna be successful? Was that like a feeling that you had?

• 10:48Speaker 03

  In my mind, we were. I always just used to be like, all we gotta do is get a deal. When we get a deal, we gonna blow up. I had no idea, no clue that it could happen any other way. Like, I just felt like all we needed was a chance. Somebody sign us, it's, it's out of here. That's how I felt. That's how it actually happened, but that's not the norm. And I didn't realize that. And I think we kind of took things for granted, you know, as the sex.

• 11:10Emma Grede?

  Being so young, you would have, right?

• 11:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, but with that being said, you know, we did, you know, he did come back and sign us a year later. And once we took off, it was good and bad. Like, our group, you know, we was killing it. I still had to go to school, though. I was the only one that was still in high school, so.

• 11:32Emma Grede?

  How did you do? Like, you literally just?

• 11:34Speaker 03

  I literally would go do the show and then come back and be at school with everybody else every day. And then I had all this work that I had to do while I was on the road. So while all the other girls was, you know, kicking in and chilling and having a good time.

• 11:47Emma Grede?

  You went to your school.

• 11:48Speaker 03

  I was still doing my schoolwork. And then I had to come home and do more schoolwork. And then some teachers was trying to lay it on thick just so they could say they didn't give me, you know, give it away to me or whatever. So it was. It was what it was, but I'm kind of a determined person. So I was like, okay, I'm gonna get my diploma. I know I'm gonna have that. So whatever we gotta do to make that happen, that's what's gonna happen.

• 12:12Emma Grede?

  So when did you realize that you were more than just a performer? And that you could actually write, but more than that, like you could write hits? Because, I mean, I look, you've written for Whitney Houston, Ariana Grande, Alicia Keys, Mariah Carey, don't forget Destiny's Child, TLC, so many more. But it's like a roll call of like, I feel like it's my whole life. Like, that was like the nineties. That was the golden moment.

• 12:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, 2000s.

• 12:36Emma Grede?

  Too fast. But was there a moment when you were like, oh, my goodness, like, I have a talent and I'm not just a performer?

• 12:43Speaker 03

  Well, you know, when our group was working with Jermaine, I used to always be like, let me write, let me write. But he would let us write like a little bit here and there. But when our group started having issues, that's when I was like, okay, Tiny, we need to get in the studio because we're gonna have to try to figure out what we're gonna do. Because we knew one of our group members was gonna go solo when the third album was being created. So we were like, okay, we gotta make a plan. And I was like, let's go in the studio.

• 13:10Emma Grede?

  How old are you at this point?

• 13:11Speaker 03

  Oh, I was like nineteen, twenty.

• 13:16Emma Grede?

  Pretty mature decision for a nineteen year old.

• 13:19Speaker 03

  I was nineteen, no, I was nineteen.

• 13:20Emma Grede?

  Yeah.

• 13:20Speaker 03

  So we was going in the studio, working on, um, we called it Cat at the time, Candy and Tiny.

• 13:27Emma Grede?

  Original, I love that.

• 13:28Speaker 03

  And, um, No Scrubs was actually a song that we did for ourselves.

• 13:33Emma Grede?

  Wow.

• 13:33Speaker 03

  And gave it to L.A. Reid, and he was like, I want the song for TLC. I was like, cool, let him have it.

• 13:38Emma Grede?

  And you did, that was, that's your first reaction? Cool, let him have it.

• 13:41Speaker 03

  Because in my mind, delusional as it may be, I always feel like I can write another hit. That's just in my mind.

• 13:49Emma Grede?

  Well, it's not that delusional for you. You had a few, you had a few, but that feels like the pinnacle, right?

• 13:55Speaker 03

  Well, people, well, actually, we had a manager that was working with us that was like, yeah, that's a good song, but it's not as good as y'all other songs.

• 14:03Emma Grede?

  No. Did you know it was a hit?

• 14:05Speaker 03

  I loved it right off rip when I was doing it. And I was like, oh, this is jamming right here. I thought it was hot.

• 14:11Emma Grede?

  I feel like we all knew as soon as we had that introduction. I mean, I don't know how long I sung that song for. But it was also like such a turning point in like, I don't know, like the zeitgeist of like what that like what you said and the words in that song like that was a that wasn't just a hit, it was like a moment, like a moment in popular culture. It did, it felt like that though, right?

• 14:30Speaker 03

  Well, I didn't know it was gonna do what it did though. I was just hoping that, yeah, I didn't even know they were gonna make it a single. I was just hoping they kept it on the album. Because I I ran into L A Reid at a party before the song came out and he was like, I'm gonna make this the biggest song of your career. And I was like, in my mind, I was like, huh, yeah, thank you. And I was like, nah, please. I was like, escape. We already got hits. Like, my life. That's what I was thinking. You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, whatever. I'm like, just keep that song on the album. That's what I'm thinking.

• 14:59Emma Grede?

  But what is the deal that you did? So you sold that track, but you retained some rights around it? You retained the publishing?

• 15:04Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. So basically, if you're a writer on the song, yeah, somebody can record it, but you still have, you know, all your publishing. Like, I didn't sell my publishing to them. So they recorded it and the song was like, the biggest song that year or something. It was the most played song in history at that time. People have passed it now.

• 15:26Emma Grede?

  Wow.

• 15:27Speaker 03

  But, yeah, so it was a a moment. And it's still a moment because people still sample that song. So it gives me more publishing on other people's songs without having to be there.

• 15:38Emma Grede?

  That's amazing. Did you?

• 15:40Speaker 03

  I keep getting paid from different people now.

• 15:42Emma Grede?

  Did you make a ton of money on that song?

• 15:44Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, I still do. Because people licensed it again and again and again and again.

• 15:49Emma Grede?

  Oh, my God, that must be so satisfactory. It's unbelievable.

• 15:53Speaker 03

  It's a blessing out of this world.

• 15:55Emma Grede?

  What what actually separates like a a good songwriter from a great one? Do you know?

• 16:01Speaker 03

  I feel like. There are certain people who it doesn't matter what you give them, they can write something too. Like, it doesn't matter what track you give me, I can probably write five songs to the same track. Because I'm a good melody person and I'm a great person at putting concepts together. So, like, as soon as I hit a track, first of all, I can listen to a track sometime and tell you that's gonna hit or that's not, before I even put a word to it. Matter of fact, I really don't even need your beat. I can come up with a song and you put a beat to my song. Because I'm a melody person, I can hear it in my head how it should go, you know, from just a click track. You get what I'm saying?

• 16:45Speaker 03

  But I am good at bringing to life concepts and stories that people can relate to.

• 16:54Emma Grede?

  Yeah, that's clear. It's the relational part that I think is that, again, the reason I say it was a moment in popular culture because people felt it deeply and they really related to the work in the song.

• 17:05Speaker 03

  It's a real story. I mean, it was inspired by people that I actually knew at the time. But I just kind of feel like...

• 17:15Speaker 03

  But, like, the thing is, it's like, a lot of... How many times have we been walking down the street and a guy like trying to holler at you from the curb?

• 17:25Emma Grede?

  And you're like, nah.

• 17:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, nah. You know, the first one that's always popping the most is the person who's with the person who's really poppin'. You know, like, it's always, you go to the section and it's always the guy that's like not paying for nothing. And be like, "Oh, you want a drink? You want this? You want that?" That dude. That's the dude I'm talking about.

• 17:46Emma Grede?

  That's the guy, yeah.

• 17:47Speaker 03

  That guy. Yeah, it's like, we all know that person, so I feel like it was just people could relate. It was funny as well.

• 17:55Emma Grede?

  It was funny. There was humor there.

• 17:57Speaker 03

  And the melody is easy to sing along with.

• 18:02Emma Grede?

  Yes.

• 18:02Speaker 03

  The other part of it is, for me, for a majority of my songs, I like my B section to be as hooky as the hook.

• 18:10Emma Grede?

  What's the B section?

• 18:11Speaker 03

  So, the part that comes right... Before the hook. So, no, I don't want your number. No, I don't wanna give you mine. You know what I'm saying? So it almost, everybody can sing along with that part, right? It's memorable, just like a hook is very memorable.

• 18:25Emma Grede?

  You feel like there's a formula to great songwriting?

• 18:27Speaker 03

  This is for me. I don't know what everybody, everybody has a different formula, but for me, I like my B sections to be as strong as the hook. Now, a lot of times now, because everybody change, you know, times have changed. So sometimes now, people don't even put a B section or a pre-verse or whatever, pre-chorus, what they call it. Sometimes they don't even put that in the song anymore because the songs are much shorter now. But even in a song I did recently.

• 18:51Emma Grede?

  They are shorter now, right?

• 18:52Speaker 03

  Way shorter.

• 18:52Emma Grede?

  Way shorter.

• 18:53Speaker 03

  But even in a song I did recently, it's very short, but I still have a hooky part before the hook.

• 19:00Emma Grede?

  Yes.

• 19:00Speaker 03

  It's sections of the song that everybody, no matter who they are, once you hear it once or twice, you can sing along and you feel like.

• 19:08Emma Grede?

  It's in you.

• 19:08Speaker 03

  It's in you. You can sing along with it.

• 19:10Emma Grede?

  Yes, yes.

• 19:11Speaker 03

  Sometimes I'll be writing a song and I'll be like, oh, this is a hook. And then I'll be like, hmm, it's good, but it's not strong enough. So this is gonna be my pre-chorus and I'll write another hook that's stronger. You get what I'm saying?

• 19:21Emma Grede?

  Yeah, I totally get what you're saying.

• 19:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:23Emma Grede?

  What do you think? I'm just trying to understand what you've learned from the music industry. Like, when you think about contracts, ownership, publishing, what did you learn from the music industry that's been, you know, something that you could bring into your life as an entrepreneur?

• 19:36Speaker 03

  Okay, well, obviously with contracts, I mean, definitely gotta have those lawyers reading, reading, reading, reading, reading. You know, you gotta be very, and as a woman in the music business, okay?

• 19:52Emma Grede?

  Or in any business.

• 19:53Speaker 03

  Yeah. People sometimes feel like they can chump you off or get over. So you have to be very about your business and very stern when it comes to this, you know, your, what you deserve. So when it comes to the splits or, you know, the percentage, meaning your percentage of the song or whatever. And that's just in any business, right?

• 20:18Emma Grede?

  Yeah. How do you, how have you navigated that? Do you feel like you've had to fight for what you deserve?

• 20:25Speaker 03

  And in certain situations. Some situations, everybody's fair. Everybody's like, okay, this is what we're gonna do. What other, you know. And in some situations, yeah, they thought they was gonna try me. And I'm like, yeah, nah, it don't work like that.

• 20:40Emma Grede?

  Are they more, um, are they more?

• 20:42Speaker 03

  It doesn't work like that.

• 20:42Emma Grede?

  I would imagine there's more, they're more gentlemanly maybe in the theater than they are in music. Or is that just my imagination?

• 20:49Speaker 03

  Well.

• 20:50Emma Grede?

  Because entertainment's entertainment at the end of the day. It's a tough business.

• 20:53Speaker 03

  Music industry can be very, a lot more grimy to me than film, TV and the theater.

• 21:01Emma Grede?

  I, I, I can imagine.

• 21:02Speaker 03

  You know, music, they try you all the time, especially back in the nineties. They think they could jump you off and like, oh yeah, you only getting this. Oh, no, that's not what I'm getting.

• 21:11Emma Grede?

  Were you always like that? I mean, because obviously you had success so young. Do you think you were always there advocating for yourself? Or have you learned to be a better self-advocator?

• 21:20Speaker 03

  I feel like even as the youngest in the group, I feel like I was very outspoken when it came to anything that, you know, had to, something to do with this is business. As long as it's right, you know, I'm cool.

• 21:34Emma Grede?

  Because.

• 21:35Speaker 03

  But I have no problems with saying, yeah, that's not gonna work. I think I come from a family of strong women and.

• 21:43Emma Grede?

  I was gonna ask that.

• 21:45Speaker 03

  You know, for sure, I am definitely, I'm not meek at all.

• 21:49Emma Grede?

  No, you're wired that way.

• 21:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's just how I'm wired.

• 21:56Speaker 04

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• 22:37Speaker 04

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• 22:52Speaker 05

  Hi, everyone. This is Kara Swisher.

• 22:54Speaker 06

  And I'm Scott Galloway.

• 22:55Speaker 05

  And we want to tell you about Pivot, our twice-weekly podcast.

• 22:58Speaker 06

  That's right, Kara. What a thrill. It's a chance for us to break down all the big things happening in tech, business, and politics.

• 23:04Speaker 05

  Yes, and I keep you in check so people can make it through each episode, whether it's digging into constant changes in the world of AI and social media, or trying to keep up with whatever the fuck Elon is doing. We're here to give you our take on all of that.

• 23:16Speaker 06

  Every Tuesday and Friday morning, we drop a new episode about some of the major stories of the moment.

• 23:22Speaker 05

  And Scott is a prediction machine, gazing into his crystal ball, to tell you about where it's all heading.

• 23:27Speaker 06

  That's right.

• 23:27Speaker 05

  So if that sounds like a good time for you, especially Mr. "That's right", you can follow us on your favorite podcast app to get new episodes every week.

• 23:36Speaker 06

  Boom.

• 23:45Emma Grede?

  I love this conversation because, again, you started by talking about lawyers. And I'm someone who reads every single contract that I'm involved in, right? It's like, I have lawyers, I have business managers, I have people around me. But I'm gonna read before my signature's going on something. I'm gonna read. And even with my home stuff with my husband. It's like, my husband will be like, "This is something that we're doing." And I'm like, "Yeah, I'm gonna look at that. I'm gonna check that." Because that's just how I'm wired.

• 24:08Speaker 03

  I am, too.

• 24:09Emma Grede?

  Yeah, I was raised to think that someone's always trying to get something over me, and so I'm just gonna check, check, and check.

• 24:14Speaker 03

  Well...

• 24:15Emma Grede?

  But that's not how all women operate.

• 24:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, I've always been like that. And actually, my husband, he's the one that's like, "Can you read over that? Because I already know you're gonna make sure it's right." Or even with some of the business people, except for my lawyer, they'll send stuff to me, and I'm like, "Yeah, you know, that's not correct. You need to fix that." Or, you know, the wording on this is... And I'm very anal, even though I wasn't a woman who... I never went to school for this, but I'm definitely like, "Yeah, that's incorrect." And you, you know, why do you have... And I'm so petty. I'm like, "Why you got an extra comma here? That's not right."

• 24:54Emma Grede?

  No, you're not. No, you're not. That's just...

• 24:57Speaker 03

  If it's a contract or something...

• 24:58Emma Grede?

  That's just attention to detail.

• 24:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, like, on my tweets, I'm gonna talk crazy and any... What'd it say? Ebonics? I'm doing all that. But when it comes to this contract, what? That's not right.

• 25:08Emma Grede?

  Ticked and tied.

• 25:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, no.

• 25:09Emma Grede?

  Ticked and tied. What do you think?

• 25:10Speaker 03

  And I sign all my checks. I don't have anybody.

• 25:13Emma Grede?

  Thousand percent. I remember watching Oprah when I was younger and she was killing stuff. Do you remember?

• 25:18Speaker 03

  Yes, that's why I did it too.

• 25:20Emma Grede?

  I was a power of attorney, what? Like never, I'm signing every check.

• 25:24Speaker 03

  Every check. Exactly.

• 25:25Emma Grede?

  Yes, yes, thank you.

• 25:26Speaker 03

  That's, that's the one thing that drives me crazy about being in a group versus doing things on my own.

• 25:35Emma Grede?

  Oh, because there needs to be consensus in the group.

• 25:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, in the group, you know, I'm trying to be a team player. So I'm, you know, saying, letting them make decisions or kind of go, I'm trying to go with the flow as a grown woman.

• 25:47Emma Grede?

  I was gonna say, don't really feel like your personality having known you for.

• 25:50Speaker 03

  No, I've been doing so much better in this stage in my life. Cause when I was younger, they would be like, you know, you know, oh, she's gotta be the bitch. No, but I'mma make sure it's right. They not gonna play with us.

• 26:06Emma Grede?

  How did you get that mindset? Like, do you just think?

• 26:09Speaker 03

  My mama. My mother is very, um, well, they say it on TV, you know, my mama don't play. My mama does not play. But, you know.

• 26:18Emma Grede?

  She is not playing at all.

• 26:19Speaker 03

  As a young person, she always used to be like, don't put all your eggs in one basket and all this stuff. And, and because I had started my career at a young age and started making money, not a lot at first with the group, but making money though, at a young age, it was always this concern of I did not want to be the one hit wonder or the artist that is old and they'd be like, they had all this money or whatever when they was a kid. And now they, you know, old and broke. I did not want to be that person.

• 26:48Emma Grede?

  Coming from a place of fear of being broke or like.

• 26:51Speaker 03

  Fear of being broke. I had a fear of being.

• 26:54Emma Grede?

  Do you still have a fear of being broke?

• 26:55Speaker 03

  Still.

• 26:57Emma Grede?

  Same.

• 26:57Speaker 03

  Well, I feel like I've set myself up at this point in life that I'm definitely going to be comfortable from this day for my family, my inner household is going to be comfortable no matter what. Because of the way, the things that I put in place.

• 27:20Emma Grede?

  Doesn't that feel so liberating to you to say like, my inner family will be comfortable no matter what? Because of you.

• 27:26Speaker 03

  Oh, it feels great. But I feel like there were times where people don't have the expectations from their females. Does that make sense?

• 27:38Emma Grede?

  Yes.

• 27:39Speaker 03

  Where they feel like, oh, well, if I had a son, he'd be doing this and doing that. And I'm like, well, I'm a daughter and I'm doing a whole lot. You know what I mean? But I just feel like at the end of the day, as a woman, and you know, you get, everybody's always wanna make a comparison about relationships, obviously, you know, oh, who is making the most money and all this other kind of stuff. You know, I love my husband. My husband is very, he's, he pushes me and he's, his mind is like very, he's an extremely great businessman and extremely creative mind, you know?

• 28:17Speaker 03

  Obviously, I've been financially successful for a very long time, so, you know, of course, I'm, you know, I've made more. And that's okay. People have a lot of, have a major problem with it.

• 28:30Emma Grede?

  A lot of opinions about that.

• 28:31Speaker 03

  A lot of opinions. But it works for us. So when I say this, I'm not taking anything away from the things that my husband is doing.

• 28:38Emma Grede?

  Well, we can't all sit here and talk about female empowerment and then get mad when a woman earns more than her partner. The two things are not congruent. Like, they don't work.

• 28:45Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 28:46Emma Grede?

  Like, no way. Do you remember the first time you made real money and how that felt?

• 28:52Speaker 03

  So as a teenager, it was just my goal to see a hundred thousand dollars in my bank account.

• 28:57Emma Grede?

  I love, we all have those numbers. I love it.

• 28:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, you know, we have a number.

• 29:01Emma Grede?

  A hundred thousand dollars.

• 29:02Speaker 03

  I had saved. I didn't buy nothing. Everybody else in my group was buying cars.

• 29:06Emma Grede?

  Really? Is that what you did? You saved? You didn't buy nothing?

• 29:09Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 29:10Emma Grede?

  Oh, see, I'm such a squanderer.

• 29:12Speaker 03

  I was still driving my mama's old car.

• 29:14Emma Grede?

  No.

• 29:15Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 29:16Emma Grede?

  Really?

• 29:17Speaker 03

  I'm that girl. I firmly believe, see, the thing is, what I was telling you about being afraid of being broke, I read a lot of financial books as a teenager.

• 29:26Emma Grede?

  You did?

• 29:26Speaker 03

  Yes. So they say, in order to be a millionaire, stay a millionaire, you have to live below your means.

• 29:33Emma Grede?

  Yes, you do.

• 29:34Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 29:35Emma Grede?

  They are right.

• 29:35Speaker 03

  I was living below my means and I saved until I saw the hundred thousand and I was like, okay, I guess I can get a car and I'm gonna build up my credit, so I didn't wanna pay it off at once. I put so much down and I made my payments. Yes. I was like, I used to, not anymore. I feel like I was better with money then. But I used to, back then, before everybody was like doing it on their apps and stuff, I used to balance my checkbook to the penny as a teenager.

• 30:06Emma Grede?

  Yes, I understand that. I have always been so, even to this day, I tell everyone, it's like, I know the cost of a pint of milk. I know the cost of bread. I know what everything is, and I know how much is going in and how much is going out. And that will never leave me because that's just how I was raised.

• 30:20Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 30:20Emma Grede?

  And that's one of the reasons that like.

• 30:22Speaker 03

  Well, I don't know. And that's why I say I'm not as good with money now because now I spend a lot of money, but it's because.

• 30:28Emma Grede?

  You have more money.

• 30:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, I got more money. And I know I have, like, you know, you have your nest egg that you don't touch?

• 30:33Emma Grede?

  Mm hmm. Hopefully.

• 30:36Speaker 03

  Oh, no.

• 30:37Emma Grede?

  You're not touching?

• 30:38Speaker 03

  No.

• 30:40Emma Grede?

  Do you consider yourself now as someone then who is good with money? Like, if you, like, I'm just trying to understand because I think when you come from not very much and you make a lot of money, like, your relationship changes to money all the way along. Like, do you still feel, like, I know you still have the fear, but you've obviously grown around, like, how you think about money.

• 31:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:02Emma Grede?

  You're more relaxed with, like, how you spend it now?

• 31:04Speaker 03

  I'm very much relaxed how I'm spending it right now. And I was just saying, I need the day going, pull the reins because I've been spending it too much lately. But I spent, well, my spending is not buying frivolous things, like buying a new car, buying a house, well, nonetheless, it's an investment property. Like, I don't just buy that type of stuff. I invest in more things for my business. Or right now, my daughter is about to do her career. I'm investing in her and setting her up properly. Or a group, I'm working with a girl group now, so spending money on them to help them develop, you know?

• 31:37Emma Grede?

  But it's like speculate to accumulate. You're actually investing in things, in your career, in your child, in your businesses.

• 31:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. But I spend a lot.

• 31:46Emma Grede?

  What is your relationship like with your kids and money? What do you mean you gamble?

• 31:51Speaker 03

  I'm a gambler. I gamble on my ideas. So I'll take a big gamble if I want to see something work. You know what I mean? I gamble at the casino too, but only if I'm on vacation. Yeah.

• 32:04Emma Grede?

  I love that. I really love that about you. All right, so first of all, you get to the point where you win this Grammy Award, which is so unbelievable and coming like from your background, all the work that you've put in, that was like obviously a massive achievement. And then you end up on The Real Housewives of Atlanta. And I just need to understand like that jump in your life.

• 32:24Speaker 03

  That was crazy. Okay, so basically, you know, I had got comfortable with being behind the scenes. Then Tiny hit me up. She had this bright idea of this talk show she was trying to do that she wanted to put together. She's creative too. But she loves to lean in on me for stuff like execution or whatever.

• 32:47Emma Grede?

  Make it happen.

• 32:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, she's one of those. So Candy, I was thinking about this idea ahead. I want you to come, you know, so. And it's a great idea of doing this show. So it was me, her, it was Toya, which is our Toya Johnson now. She's our friend. And then another young lady named Joy. Four of us, they had already started on the talk show they were trying to do. And they had already was working with James Dubose, who's a big producer. Anyway, in the midst of doing that, it was somebody had an interest in the show that we were putting together. And my friend Derek J, who's a hairstylist and he had appeared on Housewives with the first season. He had come to me, he was like, girl, so they looking for new Housewives for season two.

• 33:30Speaker 03

  He was like, I don't, I think you should be on the show. And I was like, oh no, I'm busy. I'm doing something.

• 33:35Emma Grede?

  Had you seen the show?

• 33:35Speaker 03

  I watched the first season.

• 33:36Emma Grede?

  Okay.

• 33:37Speaker 03

  I thought it was funny, but I didn't see myself on it.

• 33:39Emma Grede?

  Okay.

• 33:39Speaker 03

  So I was like, uh, yeah, I'm doing something. And so then he was like, well, I'm gonna tell them to call you anyway, because they need somebody with their own money. And I said, that's what he said. Those were his exact words. And I was like, yeah, yeah, whatever. So literally, like maybe a week or couple of weeks after, the people that were working, that were signing the show, well, actually, I can say it now. It was BET. BET was gonna do the show, but they decided to just use Tiny and Toya. Right. And so myself and the young lady I said was a part of it, they no longer wanted us to be a part of it. And so I was just like, I was disappointed, but I was just like, alright, it's cool.

• 34:20Emma Grede?

  And is that just like the normal ebbs and flows of being in entertainment? You didn't take that personally?

• 34:24Speaker 03

  I didn't take it personally because, you know, they're still my friends. I want it, so I need to still win. And she was the one who introduces me anyway. So I was just like, okay, well, that's fine. But the thing about it, the reason why I brought her up is because she made me open minded and excited about the idea of possibly doing something on TV. And then, a week after they told me they didn't want to use me, the people from Housewives called me and asked me, could they interview me for the show? And I was like, alright.

• 34:56Emma Grede?

  So you're kind of open at this point.

• 34:57Speaker 03

  I was open. See, if it wasn't for doing the other thing, I wouldn't have been open to it.

• 35:01Emma Grede?

  I get that.

• 35:01Speaker 03

  But when they called me, I was like, okay, cool, you know.

• 35:04Emma Grede?

  Take a meeting.

• 35:05Speaker 03

  I'll take the meeting or whatever. And I thought it was just gonna be something I did for fun for a year. I had no clue that that was gonna turn into something like me being on a show for 14 seasons and all the other spin offs that came from it. I was, who knew that my life was about to change at the time? But I guess you just have to be open.

• 35:27Emma Grede?

  You have to be open. I mean, Housewives has come with so many unbelievable benefits. I think for you, but for everyone who's gone through that show. But there's like the highs of it, and there's like the low. The scrutiny that the Housewives get is kind of unimaginable, right? Like, we, I feel like I know all the Housewives. I tell everyone, Housewives is my guilty pleasure. I've watched Beverly Hills, Atlanta, and New York, probably every episode. It's like, I, I, I love it. And I watched it from early days, like early Nene, you days. I was obsessed. But what have the downsides been versus the upsides? Like, do you look at it like that and go, it's brought you so much?

• 36:08Speaker 03

  Yeah. It has brought a lot. So what I will say, the benefit of Housewives is, and Bravo overall, it's a fan base that comes with it that is like no other.

• 36:20Emma Grede?

  Yes.

• 36:20Speaker 03

  You know?

• 36:21Emma Grede?

  Loyal.

• 36:22Speaker 03

  Loyal.

• 36:22Emma Grede?

  We've been watching that, like, our whole lives.

• 36:25Speaker 03

  Bravo fans are like no other fans. You know what I mean? And so the support that you get from the show now when they don't like you. Hate can be brutal.

• 36:36Emma Grede?

  They're gonna tell you too.

• 36:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, that can be brutal.

• 36:39Emma Grede?

  They think they have a right to tell you too.

• 36:40Speaker 03

  Yeah. See, the thing is, that was crazy. Like, I thought because I had been in a music group and we had already been in the public eye, I didn't think it was really gonna change my life like that. But I did not realize that it just gave a whole second wind to everything I've been doing. Like, it took it to the next level, I guess. Like, it surpasses music. You know what? And I'm gonna say this, and people may or may not agree. I feel like reality fans are way more supportive and feel more connected to you than music and TV fans.

• 37:18Emma Grede?

  I mean, I-

• 37:19Speaker 03

  Now, you can go somewhere-

• 37:20Emma Grede?

  I'm not a musician or a reality TV star, but I could understand that because you feel more of a sense of, I don't wanna say ownership, that's the wrong word, but the familiarity, it feels really real.

• 37:29Speaker 03

  It is.

• 37:29Emma Grede?

  Like, I know you and I don't know you. Like, I feel that.

• 37:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, but you know my family, you know my friends.

• 37:35Emma Grede?

  I feel I know your daughter, I feel like I know something about your relationship. Like, that's the real feelings, right? Yes, we feel that.

• 37:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, so it's a different connection. So with that, a lot of great things have happened. And on top of it, I met my husband doing the show. Now, did I have a couple of things that went left on that show?

• 37:52Emma Grede?

  Uh, one or two. But did it outweigh the good stuff? Like, when you look back with the hindsight, because now you've left the show after, like, so many years, you look back and you feel like net positive or like I could have skipped that?

• 38:06Speaker 03

  Net positive. I would say anytime net positive. And the reason why I say that is because, like I said, I met my husband on that show. And the support of the fans that I gained while doing that show, I cannot complain.

• 38:18Emma Grede?

  You cannot complain?

• 38:19Speaker 03

  I cannot.

• 38:20Emma Grede?

  Did you ever feel, like, because obviously you were there for so long, you see so many Housewives come and go, and I mean, like, across the franchise as well?

• 38:27Speaker 03

  Longest running straight fourteen seasons, that would be me.

• 38:32Emma Grede?

  She said, hands up.

• 38:33Speaker 03

  That would be me. Cause everybody else, most people had made it to number. But even if they do say they come to that number now, they never did it straight. They all, the rest of them took a break.

• 38:43Emma Grede?

  And I feel like so much of that was your vulnerability, right? Cause you went all in, like we knew the good, the bad, the ugly.

• 38:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, I didn't try to hide things.

• 38:51Emma Grede?

  Did you ever feel like a sense of like, I can't leave this? Like it's too good, like almost like that golden handcuff kind of feeling.

• 39:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was, it was definitely a hard decision to make. The reason being is because, you know, when you do something for that long, it's like, becomes a part of you and what you are used to. So it's like, it's life changing to say, you know what? I'm not gonna do it anymore. You know, so that was the hard decision. Plus the money was good, I'm not gonna lie.

• 39:25Emma Grede?

  There's that.

• 39:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:26Emma Grede?

  That guaranteed check.

• 39:27Speaker 03

  Yeah. There's a difference. And I know I'm still gonna make money, but it's like, it's a difference. You know, all I gotta do is show up to the set and I'm, you know what I mean?

• 39:36Emma Grede?

  One thousand, and that it's additive to so much of the rest of your business life. Cause there's a guaranteed amount of coverage, there's a guaranteed amount of visibility. Like it's built in, right? It comes with the territory. What is it like watching from the sidelines now?

• 39:48Speaker 03

  It's like, I don't, do I have a fear of missing out? No.

• 39:52Emma Grede?

  No? No FOMO for you?

• 39:53Speaker 03

  No FOMO for me. And the funny thing is Cynthia told me that I probably would feel it once the show started. And I don't. And I think really the reason probably why is because I've been doing so much with Othello. And yeah, so I'm, I don't feel like I missed a thing. Like while they were filming last summer, I was on tour with Escape and SWV. And we had our big, we, we was killing it. So I had a great time.

• 40:32Emma Grede?

  Did you set up a bunch of things knowing you were coming out of the show? You're like, I've got to keep my relevancy. I've got to keep myself busy.

• 40:39Speaker 03

  For sure. So coming, when I had made the decision to leave, I already knew that Othello was going to be happening. I already knew that the, well, the conversations about the tour was already happening as well. So I knew that I was gonna have that.

• 40:54Emma Grede?

  You're booked and busy.

• 40:56Speaker 03

  Well, I already knew I was gonna be doing something. Yes. But, so yeah.

• 41:00Emma Grede?

  Because it's really difficult to leave if you don't have something going on, right? I mean, let's be fair. Would you have left, would you have left in a quiet time? And like, maybe, I mean, again, because all that time on that show, you could have been like, I'm gonna take a year off.

• 41:13Speaker 03

  Never. I wouldn't, I would have never did it. Even if I didn't have those things, I would have already, I would have already been putting, putting things in place. Like, certain things, even when there's nothing going on, I'm, I'm gonna make something go. Like, me and my husband, we've shot two movies in the past few months that we're gonna release soon. So it's gonna be, the thing about, I always tell people, I'm always working on my next move while I'm in my current move.

• 41:42Emma Grede?

  Oh, but that's a big deal. That is a very big deal. And I feel like it's one of the key attributes of an entrepreneur. Like, you're always cooking. It's a bit like, you know, I, I just feel like that is the number one thing that you have to do. You always have to keep moving and keep creating and keep figuring out like, what's next?

• 41:59Speaker 03

  So I remember when I said that I felt like my group, we kinda took for granted the success, right? So in the beginning, we had, our songs was to the point where you couldn't turn on urban radio without it being on one station. And sometimes we'd be like, oh, change the station, right? But when our group had split up and it was, you know, I started writing songs for people, but it was like a period of time where the songs weren't out yet. It was like that in-between time where I just, I didn't know where my career was gonna be. I didn't know what was gonna happen for me. And I was really kinda like stressed, because I get stressed if I don't know what's gonna happen next, right? And I remember the songs wasn't playing on the radio as much.

• 42:41Speaker 03

  It wasn't like to the point where, you know, oh, every time I turn on the radio, they're playing an Escape record anymore. And so I started feeling like... Okay, panicking. And I said, if I ever get my career back to where it once was, I'm never gonna take it for granted again.

• 43:01Emma Grede?

  And have you never?

• 43:02Speaker 03

  Never. You never, I never be, I never sit there and like, I don't believe my own hype. Because I know for a fact, like, when I see people, they have, you know, they popping right now, they think that moment is gonna last forever and it does not.

• 43:18Emma Grede?

  It never does.

• 43:19Speaker 03

  By next year, people are gonna be sitting there looking at like, okay.

• 43:22Emma Grede?

  Yeah, onto the next one. Especially now, in today's culture, because things move too much. Do you feel like you crave the limelight? Or do you crave the creativity? Or is it a mixture of both somehow?

• 43:33Speaker 03

  I crave the accomplishments. I'm an accomplishment person.

• 43:38Emma Grede?

  How do you stack up your accomplishments? Like, what to you feels like, I mean, obviously a fellow, right? It's like when you get an award and you're standing on a stage with something. But how do you measure your accomplishments these days?

• 43:50Speaker 03

  I just like to be able to say, okay, I was the first to do this, so I'm going in history. That's why I wanna have the EGOT so bad because.

• 43:57Emma Grede?

  You do, I love that you say that out loud.

• 44:00Speaker 03

  I don't.

• 44:00Emma Grede?

  That's a big thing to send yourself up for.

• 44:03Speaker 03

  You speak things into existence. You speak them. Just, I have been saying that for years. Let me tell you, years. And I know people probably looked at me like, yeah, okay, whatever. But that year when we did piano lesson, I had, I was nominated for Emmy and a Tony at the same time. And that's when I knew it's real, even though I didn't get it that year. I was like, it's real because it's all about the work you put in and what you put your energy to. And if you concede the thought, you can make it happen, I'm telling you. So it was like for everybody who doubted that that was possible for me, it became very possible in that moment. And I'm gonna keep chasing it until I get it.

• 44:43Speaker 03

  But what I'm, what I line up, okay, so I was the first black woman to get songwriter of the year for ASCAP, which that is one of my tops. Having a Grammy for a song of the year, that's a major thing. To be the first woman to win Mad Singer.

• 45:04Emma Grede?

  I love that one.

• 45:05Speaker 03

  I love that one too.

• 45:08Speaker 03

  You know, to be the longest running housewife, no matter how you put it, there's a lot of them may come and go. But it's gonna be a long time to say they did 14 years straight with no breaks. You know what I mean?

• 45:18Emma Grede?

  No one. I mean, no one. And I do look at that as achievement because, I mean, I look at you and I think you are, you've become known and someone who's synonymous for collecting their checks, right? Because while you've been doing Housewives, it's not like you've just been doing Housewives. You have the restaurant business, you have a range of sex toys, you've got the theater, you've got all the things that have been going on in the background. So it's like you never essentially rested, like you never just did Housewives. You were always building. You're a real entrepreneur.

• 45:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:48Emma Grede?

  How hard does that being?

• 45:50Speaker 03

  Too hard. I mean, it's stressful, especially somebody, that restaurant business is a doozy.

• 46:00Emma Grede?

  It's a doozy. It's a doozy. I have to tell you, my dream, like in my heart, I see myself like I'm a cook, I'm a chef. I love it. And every now and again, I'll say to my husband, I'm like, I should open a restaurant. And he's like, no, you don't. No, you absolutely don't.

• 46:14Speaker 03

  It is so stressful.

• 46:15Emma Grede?

  It is. It's a hard business as well.

• 46:17Speaker 03

  It's extremely hard because it's not about if you are good at what you do. It's about the entire infrastructure and team. And it's a lot of turnover.

• 46:26Emma Grede?

  Is that the hardest business that you've been a part of, the restaurant business?

• 46:29Speaker 03

  The, I would give it number one, for sure. For sure.

• 46:34Emma Grede?

  Has it been worth it, Candy?

• 46:36Speaker 03

  Um, worth it.

• 46:37Emma Grede?

  I feel like when your voice goes like that, ah.

• 46:40Speaker 03

  I mean, because everything is not about the money. Yes, we've

• 46:44Emma Grede?

  Definitely not.

• 46:44Speaker 03

  We've done, put up great numbers, but it was a great while we were doing it like full steam ahead. Because, yeah, I mean, it gave us a place where the fans could come in. And then it's also, you know, more of a connection that way.

• 46:59Emma Grede?

  Yes.

• 47:00Speaker 03

  When you have a place where your fans could come and they can actually see you there.

• 47:03Emma Grede?

  Yes.

• 47:03Speaker 03

  You know, that's fun. And then.

• 47:07Speaker 03

  You know, the TV show that came from it and all of those things. And then my family was a part of it and it was gave us something fun and cool to do.

• 47:15Emma Grede?

  And that must be so lovely when you can involve them in your success.

• 47:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:18Emma Grede?

  Yeah, and hard too, because working with family ain't easy.

• 47:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I think after the pandemic happened, it was just the restaurant business became super hard.

• 47:28Emma Grede?

  Yeah, yeah, and for so many people, not just for you. I want to talk to you about money because I read that you are self-funding a lot of your businesses. How do you find that? And I guess, I guess my question is, given who you are and probably your ability to go out and raise money if you needed to, you've chosen to self-fund a lot of what you've done.

• 47:48Speaker 03

  It's not that. I feel like because I, and I have to just say, because I did not go to school for this, I don't know that way. I only know the, okay, I got an idea, I got some money, let me figure it out and make it happen.

• 48:07Emma Grede?

  Well, no one's ever come to you and been like, let me, let me do this thing with you.

• 48:10Speaker 03

  I have a hard thing, I have a trust issue too.

• 48:13Emma Grede?

  I know.

• 48:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I'm just gonna be honest, I wouldn't even know how to set that up, you know? And so that's why when a lot of people ask me questions, I feel like I am learning as I'm doing. I'm definitely a person learning on the job, you know? So it's like, yes, I've been able to accomplish a lot in a lot of different areas, but it's mainly by trial and error. It's not because I knew what I was doing when I did it, you know what I'm saying?

• 48:40Emma Grede?

  Did you make a bunch of mistakes?

• 48:42Speaker 03

  Of course, of course, and, and for sure I have. But I think the thing about me, just because I make a mistake or something goes wrong or, you know, sometimes the people, first time they lose a little bit of money, they're ready to quit. Not me, I'm like, okay, well, that's what nice to do, so let's fix it.

• 49:00Emma Grede?

  Even when it's your own money, you've been like, okay, I can go back to the drawing board, I like, I gotta make it back.

• 49:06Speaker 03

  I gotta make that back, I'm a gambler.

• 49:09Emma Grede?

  You really are a gambler.

• 49:10Speaker 03

  That's what we do, we, we gamble on ideas, it didn't work like that, okay, let's go back, roll the dice again, let's go. You know what I mean? And, and don't get me wrong, I, I feel, and I say this from the heart, in any business,

• 49:26Speaker 03

  Because I don't know the normal way to do things or the to do it by the book. I feel like it works for me better a lot of times. Because people sometimes make too many rules to get to the the point. I just know, okay, I'm here at A, I want to be at B.

• 49:44Emma Grede?

  You're gonna figure it out.

• 49:45Speaker 03

  I'm gonna figure it out.

• 49:46Emma Grede?

  School and figure it out.

• 49:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm gonna get to be. But if you went to school for it, you like, okay, we got to do this and we got to do that. It's gonna take another year before we set up this and that. No, me, I'm like, okay, bye. That's same thing with bedroom candy.

• 50:00Speaker 03

  So I wanted to have a sex toy and.

• 50:02Emma Grede?

  Where did that come from? What what do you mean? You just wanted to have, so why don't you just go and buy some sex toys? Why did you need to make the toys?

• 50:09Speaker 03

  Well, I was doing Candy Coated Nights at the time, which was like an online talk show. I guess it was a podcast before podcasts.

• 50:17Emma Grede?

  I love it.

• 50:18Speaker 03

  I love it. And we talked about sex and relationships all the time. So we had built a following for it and I was like, oh, it'd be cool if we had our own products or something to go with this. One of my friends at the time, she was like, you should have a sex toy. I was like, that's a good idea. Don't ask me why, because at the time, that wasn't popular. It wasn't, it was kind of taboo, especially in the black community. Because everybody is always hush, hush and everything about sex. Now, everybody's more outspoken about it. But at that time, it was kind of like, what are you doing? You know, and I'm like, I want a sex toy.

• 50:51Emma Grede?

  Did you get backlash from your community?

• 50:54Speaker 03

  No, actually, I think it's all about in how you.

• 51:00Emma Grede?

  Introduce ideas.

• 51:01Speaker 03

  Yeah. So I think the problem was back then, it was always the porn star on the box or you had to go to some like, like scary sex shop to get a toy. Okay, no, my whole point in it is is based on facts. Facts are a majority of women never accomplish an orgasm from penetration. So therefore, get a little help. We need to learn our bodies and all of that. And it's all about sex and education. And that was the one thing that we never allowed to happen within our community. We had nobody who was just the normal woman who was a mom, me. I'm the single mom, I'm a business woman. And this is what it is, and I'm telling you, this is the truth.

• 51:42Speaker 03

  Whereas a lot of women, they wanted to have a toy or they had a toy, but they were scared to talk to people about it. I never had a problem talking about sex to anybody. So it just made people who.

• 51:54Speaker 03

  You know, kind of followed me, followed my journey. They felt more comfortable being part of the conversation.

• 51:59Emma Grede?

  How did that business work out?

• 52:01Speaker 03

  Excellent.

• 52:02Emma Grede?

  It did?

• 52:03Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 52:03Emma Grede?

  So glad for you. That's crazy, because I read about it.

• 52:07Speaker 03

  I mean, it's been over a decade now.

• 52:09Emma Grede?

  And it's a bit like a QVC model, right? Like, people, is it that type of thing?

• 52:14Speaker 03

  So after having our tour, oh, so what I was saying was, I decided, anything I did on the show, if I talk about it, it has to be done and be able to see by the world by the end of the season. Meaning, that happens, it has to happen.

• 52:26Emma Grede?

  You're very strategic.

• 52:27Speaker 03

  It has to be developed, and I need to have a product in my hand for you to see.

• 52:31Emma Grede?

  Where did that, where did that decision come from? How did you learn that?

• 52:34Speaker 03

  My first year on the show, I felt like,

• 52:39Speaker 03

  this show is cool, but the money ain't matching this popularity. And I was like, the money got to match. So I was, and I'm a dependable, I'm a Taurus, dependable. If I say I'm gonna do something, it's done. I cannot stand seeing people on TV talking about what they want to do, and you never see it happen. And I was like, if I do that, you're never gonna see me to say something, and it don't come together. That's just who I am as a person, and I don't want to be looked at as flaky. So if I say I'm gonna do it, it's gonna get done.

• 53:07Emma Grede?

  And it's gonna come out by the end of the season.

• 53:09Speaker 03

  Exactly, which means you working overtime while filming, while you got all this other kind of stuff, to make sure you got something that's quality, that's, you know, looks good, makes product, and is ready to be seen, and not just out by the time the show airs. I mean, by the time we finish filming.

• 53:24Emma Grede?

  Wow.

• 53:25Speaker 03

  So it has to be within six months.

• 53:27Emma Grede?

  Yes, it's like, so you can use the leverage of the show to get the sales. Were all the housewives doing that back then? Because I feel like it's become much more commonplace.

• 53:35Speaker 03

  Right.

• 53:36Emma Grede?

  You set, you set the actual benchmark for that being more of a thing.

• 53:39Speaker 03

  Maybe, I guess, I guess.

• 53:40Emma Grede?

  I mean, in, in the housewives, not, no?

• 53:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean, I know Bethany, she had her product as well, her, her, her drink. She did very, very well with that. I don't know what her process was, because I'm not gonna lie, I didn't watch the show at the time, so I didn't know what her process was. But for me, that's just how I work, and then that's anything. That was with the product, you know, so you saw. The bedroom candy, the toy, the actual toy, and we had a candy kisses, which is still one of our popular items to this day. We had it available and out. It was, no, it came out by the time the show aired, but it was available for you to see at the party at the end of the season.

• 54:20Emma Grede?

  Amazing.

• 54:21Speaker 03

  That year.

• 54:21Emma Grede?

  Amazing.

• 54:22Speaker 03

  So, and then following that year, it wasn't about the show, it was just about the business. And I wanted to do the multi-level marketing for bedroom candy to help more female entrepreneurs. And then now, we don't even just have women. We have, you know, non-binary, female, male, it doesn't matter. They're all a part of it. I feel like we are like a clique now.

• 54:43Emma Grede?

  But that's like, that's a real business for you 10 years later.

• 54:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, over 10 years, but yeah.

• 54:49Emma Grede?

  You must be really proud because I think there's one thing when you start a business, and it does well, and it impacts you and your family. But I think when you are giving people jobs, and you're able to give people jobs like in their own, like that feels good, no?

• 55:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, but that was something that I, that was a goal of mine back at a long time ago. Actually, back when I did the Candy Factory. So there had to be like only three, four seasons in. Three seasons on TV, I guess, when I did Candy Factory. It was a separate show, the first show I did. But I had my dream that year, before the show even came about, I wanted to employ at least 100 people. That was my goal. Because I always want to, like, I want to be a person that I use my opportunity to help make more opportunities. And I remember after we finished wrapping Candy Factory, and all the people that was working on it, everybody came together for a picture. And I sat there and I was like, this is what I prayed for. It's happening. So each year, I make it a little bit bigger and bigger and bigger.

• 55:57Emma Grede?

  Are you a big goal setter?

• 55:59Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 56:00Emma Grede?

  Are you like physically writing them down? Or are you like praying and dreaming? Like, how do you do that? How do you decide, like, this is what I want next?

• 56:08Speaker 03

  Well, right now, I go through these modes of...

• 56:12Speaker 03

  Of doubt and you know, like, where do I want to be right now? What do I want to do? And what's my next move? You know, I started feeling all uneasy about it in that moment. I'd be like, you know, I want to do this. And then all of a sudden, because my brain tells me that's what I want to do. I start doing it and it just comes together somehow. Don't ask me how, but it just, it just does.

• 56:34Emma Grede?

  Because you're a force of nature. I mean, like clearly it comes together because like you go and you put it together. It sounds like, like no one's handing you these opportunities. You are using your own money. You're bringing together your own connections. You're leveraging your, like everything that you've built through the housewives and everything like the, the legacy that's going to follow you after that. But it's like you're making that stuff happen.

• 56:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, but here's the other thing. I don't want people to think everything works because I do have moments where.

• 57:02Emma Grede?

  Please talk to me about that because I love to talk about failure. I had so many things didn't work out. But that's not what we post about on social media, but it's hard, right? It's like you have a lot of things that inevitably just like flop. They don't work out.

• 57:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, hell, I mean, I'll talk about like even with my restaurant right now. The Old Lady Gang has done phenomenal for years. But the Blaze Steak and Seafood did not. You know what I mean? So the restaurant itself, it never really, it didn't, it didn't really make any money. It was just kind of there being a headache.

• 57:39Emma Grede?

  Yeah.

• 57:39Speaker 03

  You know what I'm saying?

• 57:40Emma Grede?

  There's so many businesses are, I mean, that's part of it, right? Like you're always, I remember someone saying to me, you know, running businesses. It's like, uh, you'll only ever be as happy as your, your most unhappy child. And it's the same with businesses. It's like you'll always have like one that's giving you problems. And that's just the life of an entrepreneur.

• 57:57Speaker 03

  Yeah. And then even with, um, because everything has been such a headache on the restaurant side, we decided to just narrow down Old Lady Gang to one location.

• 58:08Emma Grede?

  Was that hard for you? Is it hard when you have to close something or take a step back? Like, how do you handle that?

• 58:14Speaker 03

  It's very much hard for me because you know, I'm an accomplishments person. Like that's my thing. So if I feel like I could not figure it out, I feel like everything can be figured out. I'm all about solutions. Anything can be fixed, but if I can't figure something out, it drives me insane.

• 58:31Emma Grede?

  Totally. I totally, totally get that.

• 58:34Speaker 03

  Insane. So, um, it's not that we couldn't figure it out, just between.

• 58:41Speaker 03

  Just, you know, once you get like bad press on a situation, you know, it's hard to come out of that and then you wanna fix things and so it's like, our best way of fixing it, we're gonna focus on the one and then figure out where we wanna go from there.

• 58:56Emma Grede?

  Well, that's the added thing, right? You have the scrutiny, which can be like a massive value add, but it can also, when things don't go right, it can really shine a light in places you don't necessarily need it or want it.

• 59:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, but it is what it is.

• 59:07Emma Grede?

  Yeah, it is what it is.

• 59:08Speaker 03

  I don't stress myself.

• 59:09Emma Grede?

  I wanna ask you about your mistakes. Like, do you, I just wanna understand more like the lessons that you've learned because again, I think that we don't talk about our mistakes. We don't talk about failure very much, but it is such a huge part of running businesses, of being an entrepreneur. What have you learned that you really think about and take to heart as you go into like, as you're going into this next chapter? What are you thinking about like the last fifteen, twenty years of your career that you'll take forward?

• 59:39Speaker 03

  I'm trying to narrow my focus going as I feel like I am all over the place. And as my kids are getting older and they wanna do things, I wanna narrow my focus like, it's cool to have a lot of businesses, but at the same time, is, you know, yeah, it's good money, but for me, things are not about the money right now. So I wanna narrow more to the things that I love to do. So I wanna do more music again. I wanna start writing more songs and I wanna do more film and TV projects that are produced by me and my husband. I wanna do more creative stuff. Yeah, I'm gonna try to make more time for that and just narrow my focus.

• 1:00:22Emma Grede?

  Yeah, I honestly think that's such amazing advice because to have priorities, like I feel like, is the kind of key thing that makes you successful in business, when you can be really narrow and you can go really deep. On a few things that actually really benefits you in such a big way. And I think it's interesting because especially, listen, the more successful you get, the more choices you have. So it's hard to be narrow because you have a lot of opportunity in front of you. But again, if you said it's not about the check and you're such a creative that wants to do quality work. I understand that narrowing it in makes it almost more interesting for you, no?

• 1:00:56Speaker 03

  I, yeah, I mean, I feel like I don't really have a point to prove about me being able to do a business. Cause all the businesses that I did, um, did do were, they lasted over a decade.

• 1:01:10Emma Grede?

  Incredible.

• 1:01:11Speaker 03

  I would say that I don't feel like I have a point to prove to people about those things. What I have a point to prove to myself is getting this EGOT. Cause I really wanna focus more.

• 1:01:23Emma Grede?

  Put it out there, put it out there. She said it.

• 1:01:26Speaker 03

  On the creative things.

• 1:01:28Emma Grede?

  Yeah, and on the things that are gonna get you towards that path.

• 1:01:29Speaker 03

  Like where, you know, whether it's music, TV, uh, stage, whatever. Those are the things that I really wanna hone in on, you know, take to the next level.

• 1:01:41Emma Grede?

  And you will, no doubt. I only have one more Housewives question because I am obsessed. Um, if you had to go into business with one of the Housewives, or actually, let's do it like this. If you had to back a business by one of the Housewives, who would it be?

• 1:01:58Speaker 03

  Ooh, you're trying to be funny.

• 1:02:00Emma Grede?

  It's a good question. Yeah, I feel like your face is the answer, but I don't know.

• 1:02:06Speaker 03

  Child, don't do that. Okay, okay, okay. Let me say this.

• 1:02:09Emma Grede?

  She sounds like me on the breakfast.

• 1:02:10Speaker 03

  Let me say this, let me say this. It, do I get to control everything? See, I think that's the problem.

• 1:02:18Emma Grede?

  It's a partnership. Go on, you get to control it. You get to control it. Cause we already know like you're a control person.

• 1:02:23Speaker 03

  Part of the problem is they don't be knowing what they doing. Or they they don't they don't have the gambler's spirit.

• 1:02:33Emma Grede?

  Mm hmm. There's that.

• 1:02:34Speaker 03

  They don't want to put up no money. A lot of them don't want to use their own money.

• 1:02:38Emma Grede?

  Mm hmm. Well, that's just a big, that's a big red flag for me. Anyone who's not willing to put a little bit of their own in, I'm like, well, why?

• 1:02:46Speaker 03

  And even if it's been people who probably want to invest money in them, they don't want to give up any control. So you got to understand, you can't take the people money and the people have nothing to say. So if I was to be a part of anybody's businesses, they would have to let me kind of take the reins.

• 1:03:07Emma Grede?

  You're the CEO.

• 1:03:08Speaker 03

  Nah, it's just, I just want to be able, let me got the shit.

• 1:03:11Emma Grede?

  Which you're good, it's, it's.

• 1:03:12Speaker 03

  Let me help you. Let us get money. Let me help you.

• 1:03:17Emma Grede?

  It's a housewife as a staff member? Is that what you're looking for?

• 1:03:21Speaker 03

  No, it's not that I, not that they can't make the money. I'm not trying to take any money out their pocket. But just let me make the decisions.

• 1:03:28Emma Grede?

  Okay. I think she didn't.

• 1:03:29Speaker 03

  That's all I'm saying.

• 1:03:30Emma Grede?

  I think she said none of them.

• 1:03:32Speaker 03

  I didn't say none. You know what? This is the funny thing.

• 1:03:35Emma Grede?

  Words in your mouth.

• 1:03:35Speaker 03

  Even though, even though me and Sheree fell out bad in that last season, I always felt like Sheba Sheree is the brand of the whole housewife, the biggest brand that never really made it to its full potential.

• 1:03:51Emma Grede?

  Okay, so it's a Sheba Sheree relaunch.

• 1:03:55Speaker 03

  Well, I don't know about now. I mean, back then. You mean right now to this day? Nah, I wouldn't do, none of them.

• 1:04:00Emma Grede?

  Okay, we're moving on. We're moving on.

• 1:04:04Speaker 03

  Nah, I thought you meant like while I was on the show or, you know.

• 1:04:08Emma Grede?

  So talking of reality TV stars, your lovely daughter Riley is about to go on to a new show. Can you tell me a bit about it?

• 1:04:15Speaker 03

  Oh, Riley is going to be on the Next Gen NYC.

• 1:04:19Emma Grede?

  So cute.

• 1:04:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, so I'm so excited for her because, you know, now, you know, I got her a publicist and a stylist and she's doing her thing, you know what I mean?

• 1:04:30Emma Grede?

  You. Are you, are you a bit of a momager? Is this happening?

• 1:04:33Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm trying not to be too harsh, but you know, I'm paying for everything. So, look, this is what needs to be done.

• 1:04:41Emma Grede?

  Well, you can have a little opinion.

• 1:04:42Speaker 03

  I see, I, I have a vision of where I want to see my daughter go. And yeah, I need everybody to be on this vision. Let's get her where she needs to be.

• 1:04:52Emma Grede?

  So, given everything, your honestly extraordinary career as a creative, as a businesswoman, as an entrepreneur. You started out in Atlanta. I was really surprised when I was doing my research.

• 1:05:07Speaker 03

  Really?

• 1:05:08Emma Grede?

  Yes, because I was looking, when I do research, I usually go, I'm looking for like the New York Times, for Variety, for Hollywood Reporter. And I was like, well, you're so accomplished. You won so many awards. You did so many things. Like, where was that article? I thought it was like a little bit surprising because you have so many accolades. And I feel like maybe the best is just yet to come for you. Like, maybe like the end of Housewives is the beginning of everything. Like, I don't know.

• 1:05:35Speaker 03

  Honestly, I think it is. And the reason why I say that is, as wonderful as a platform Housewives is, people discriminate against Housewives.

• 1:05:47Emma Grede?

  There's a little stigma.

• 1:05:48Speaker 03

  The business community discriminates against Real Housewives talent, or whatever.

• 1:05:55Emma Grede?

  Across the board, you believe?

• 1:05:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, like certain shows, you don't see Housewives come on as guests. Certain magazines, you never see them highlight what Housewives are doing.

• 1:06:10Emma Grede?

  I mean, it's factual because I looked.

• 1:06:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, so I think, and even in TV and film, it was one time, before I did The Shy, I had got a role on a really, let me say this, the director, the producers and casting wanted me for this role. And my agent was like, oh, you know, you got the role and whatever, because that's normal, but it's another process. It has to be approved by the network. So he was like, yeah, you got it. You know, I was like, okay, I was excited. I told my friends. And next thing I found out, that I didn't get it. And I was like, what happened? And they were like, the network didn't want to look like they were stunt casting. So they didn't want to.

• 1:06:55Speaker 03

  It wasn't about if I had the talent to do the role. It was just because people knew me from Housewives. And, you know, I don't want to say what show it was or whatever. Ended up being a big show. And I was so sad about it and I cried. It was like so messed up. But I tell you that to say it was a gift and a curse being on the show. So there are so many things that I want to accomplish. And I feel like the door opens a little bit more now that I'm not on the show, which is crazy.

• 1:07:26Emma Grede?

  Yeah. And thankfully, you've got this incredible platform and unbelievable fan base. And you've been building outside the show since day one. So no doubt you've got all the best things to come.

• 1:07:38Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 1:07:38Emma Grede?

  No doubt. I want to take you to a very quick, quick fire round. The rapid, the rapid fire round.

• 1:07:43Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:07:44Emma Grede?

  Candy, what is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?

• 1:07:48Speaker 03

  It's bad, but I pick up my phone and look at Instagram.

• 1:07:52Emma Grede?

  At least you're honest, girl. Don't answer the same answer to the next question. What's the last thing you do before you go to bed?

• 1:07:59Speaker 03

  Probably pick up the phone and look at Instagram. It's terrible. I'm terrible.

• 1:08:03Emma Grede?

  That is not helping you get restful sleep.

• 1:08:05Speaker 03

  I know. It's terrible.

• 1:08:06Emma Grede?

  That's not it. And what are you currently aspiring?

• 1:08:09Speaker 03

  Last night I was getting it in.

• 1:08:11Emma Grede?

  Okay, okay. Using your products or no? Just nat- oh, naturale?

• 1:08:16Speaker 03

  Just naturale.

• 1:08:16Emma Grede?

  Okay, good for you, girl.

• 1:08:17Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:08:17Emma Grede?

  Um, what are you currently aspiring for in your business life?

• 1:08:22Speaker 03

  Oh, well, what I was saying to, um, just kind of game of more focus on the things that fulfill me.

• 1:08:30Emma Grede?

  Yes. Great answer. And what are you aspiring for in your personal?

• 1:08:34Speaker 03

  Um, to find the balance, to make sure I'm giving my kids the time and, you know, all the, all the love that they need.

• 1:08:43Emma Grede?

  Do you believe in work-life balance, Candy?

• 1:08:45Speaker 03

  I haven't found it yet. But I'm trying.

• 1:08:49Emma Grede?

  Correct answer.

• 1:08:52Speaker 03

  You feel the same?

• 1:08:53Emma Grede?

  Oh, girl, I mean, I've got a long, I don't know if I should mention work-life balance anymore.

• 1:08:57Speaker 03

  You got guilt.

• 1:08:58Emma Grede?

  I have no guilt. I just get a lot of, I just get a lot of commentary on my feelings about work-life balance because I don't think that it exists.

• 1:09:06Speaker 03

  Oh, okay.

• 1:09:07Emma Grede?

  And I think it's very hard to find it. And I think if we just stopped trying to find it, we'd probably end up with more of it because I don't, I don't think it's there. I think that you do whatever you're doing to the best of your ability in the moment you're doing it. If I'm with my kids, I'm with my kids. If I ain't and I'm doing something over there, I'm doing the thing over there. But I'm not going to be made to feel guilty about it the whole time.

• 1:09:26Speaker 03

  I love it.

• 1:09:26Emma Grede?

  I don't understand, like, this. It's like I'm just trying to live.

• 1:09:32Emma Grede?

  A bit about me there. Tell me, darling, a book that changed your life.

• 1:09:38Speaker 03

  Oh, The Millionaire Next Door.

• 1:09:40Emma Grede?

  Oh, it's a good one.

• 1:09:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:09:41Emma Grede?

  It's a very good one. Okay. What is something that you valued when you were starting out your career that you don't anymore?

• 1:09:48Speaker 03

  Ooh. Something that I valued?

• 1:09:54Speaker 03

  That I don't anymore?

• 1:09:55Emma Grede?

  It's place.

• 1:09:57Speaker 03

  That's a good question.

• 1:09:59Emma Grede?

  There must have been something that you really cared about that you're like, that is not a thing anymore. Did you care about pleasing people? Did you care about what other people thought of you? Did you, were you bothered about your, what your mom was doing? Like, I don't know. It was something.

• 1:10:16Speaker 03

  Okay, okay.

• 1:10:16Emma Grede?

  Okay.

• 1:10:17Speaker 03

  My mom.

• 1:10:18Emma Grede?

  The mom.

• 1:10:19Speaker 03

  It's my mom. My mom, it used to like, like, if she'd be upset with me, it would totally ruin my day and I could not like, like, think for the rest of the day.

• 1:10:34Emma Grede?

  Yes.

• 1:10:34Speaker 03

  Like, it would make me.

• 1:10:35Emma Grede?

  We know that feeling.

• 1:10:36Speaker 03

  It would be like crushing to me. But now, I'm like, she'll be all right.

• 1:10:43Speaker 03

  It took a long time for me to get there though.

• 1:10:46Emma Grede?

  That's training. That's real growth. That's hard.

• 1:10:48Speaker 03

  It took a long.

• 1:10:50Emma Grede?

  Yes, because you are raised to care about what your mom thinks. Like you're constantly seeking your mother's approval. And then one day you're like, no.

• 1:10:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, but don't get me wrong. I love my mom dearly.

• 1:11:00Emma Grede?

  We know, we know.

• 1:11:02Speaker 03

  And think that I, you know, I'm not saying that I don't love you dearly.

• 1:11:06Emma Grede?

  No, no, no.

• 1:11:06Speaker 03

  I'm just saying that now I don't get crushed.

• 1:11:09Emma Grede?

  It's not day ruining.

• 1:11:11Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:11:11Emma Grede?

  You think about it for a few minutes and then you're moving on.

• 1:11:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm like, she gonna be alright.

• 1:11:16Emma Grede?

  That's, that's a real.

• 1:11:19Emma Grede?

  There we go.

• 1:11:20Speaker 03

  But I've never been a one, I've never been a one, been one to care about what other people think about me.

• 1:11:26Emma Grede?

  That's a gift.

• 1:11:26Speaker 03

  And I'm okay with being disliked.

• 1:11:32Emma Grede?

  You have a thick skin.

• 1:11:33Speaker 03

  I have a very, and on Housewives, you don't have, you can't help but having a thick, thick, thick, thick skin.

• 1:11:38Emma Grede?

  Because you would be dead on the floor if you cared for all those people's things.

• 1:11:42Speaker 03

  Yes, no, but I laugh to this day. Me and my friend Carmen, we laugh about this all the time. In middle school, don't ask me why, I do not know what I did to these girls. These girls, it was a couple of girls, lames.

• 1:11:57Speaker 03

  They had the I Hate Candy Burrs Club.

• 1:12:04Emma Grede?

  They're bitches. How dare they? Did you know at the time?

• 1:12:08Speaker 03

  Uh, cuz they didn't have, they didn't have the nerve to tell me. They basically, I, I'll never forget this, I was in the gym locker room. And it was the girls, it was like, um, you know, they were talking about their clubs, I H K B. And I was like, oh, that's cute. Y'all got a little club. What's that? And they made up a whole nother name to tell me that it meant like some hearts, some, like, I don't know.

• 1:12:34Emma Grede?

  You didn't know?

• 1:12:36Speaker 03

  You know, so they leave out the, out the locker room. And so the other girl that I knew was like laughing and she was like, you know what that really means, right? And I was like, what? And she was like, I H K B, the I Hate Candy Burrs Club?

• 1:12:51Emma Grede?

  But you didn't laugh like that. Don't tell me you laughed like that.

• 1:12:54Speaker 03

  I did.

• 1:12:54Emma Grede?

  Oh, I would have crumbled.

• 1:12:56Speaker 03

  What? I was like, they are so lame. Like, come on. I thought it was like funny, to be honest with you, because I was like, what? That's so corny. Like, you couldn't even say that? You, you got the nerve to make the club, but you didn't have the nerve to tell me? Like, okay.

• 1:13:14Emma Grede?

  No, those people, those people ain't telling you.

• 1:13:16Speaker 03

  Right. So every time my name ends up in a blog of some hatin' asshole, got something to say about me, me and my friend Carmen laugh, he said, oh, they're going to I Hate Candy Berries Club.

• 1:13:33Speaker 03

  A group of lames in my, I said, I, see, I ain't know what it was. See, God was, God was training me.

• 1:13:39Emma Grede?

  I know now.

• 1:13:39Speaker 03

  For what I had to come. Like, I'm used to it. Like.

• 1:13:42Emma Grede?

  You were just in preparation.

• 1:13:44Speaker 03

  I was in preparation.

• 1:13:45Emma Grede?

  All the hate that was to come.

• 1:13:46Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:13:47Emma Grede?

  But let me tell you, Candy, this is the, we love Candy Berries Club. Like, let me tell you, over here at Aspire with Emma Grede, we love you. I'm so grateful to you, and I genuinely mean it. I'm so grateful for your time and I'm really happy to meet you, but also that, you know, some people, like, it's such a disappointment. You are the least disappointing woman in the world. This was a pleasure. Thank you.

• 1:14:08Speaker 03

  It's really great meeting you as well.

• 1:14:09Emma Grede?

  You too.

• 1:14:15Emma Grede?

  If you're loving this podcast, be sure to click follow on your favorite listening platform. While you're there, give us a review and a five star rating and share an episode you loved with a friend. We'll be so grateful. Aspire with Emma Grede is presented by Odyssey. I'm your host, Emma Grede. Our executive producers are Corinne Gilliard Fisher, Derek Brown, and me. Our executive producers from Odyssey are Maddie Sprung Kaiser, Leah Reese Dennis, Asha Saluja, and Jenna Weiss-Berman. Our producer is Kristin Torres. Sound design and engineering by Bill Schultz. Angela Peluso is our booker. Original music by Charles Black. Video production by Evan Cox, Kirk Courtney, Andrew Steele, Carlos Delgado, and Arnie Agastly. Social media by Olivia Holman. Special thank.

• 1:15:01Emma Grede?

  Go to Brittany Smith, Sidney Ford, my teams at Jonesworks and WNE, Maura Curran, Josephina Francis, Hillary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Kate Hutchinson Rose, Tim Meeke, Sean Cherry, and Lauren Viera. If you have questions for me, you can DM me at aspirewithemagreed. Greed is spelled G R E D E. That's aspire, A S P I R E with emagreed. Or you can submit a question to me on my website, emagreed.me.

• 1:15:34Speaker 07

  Today's episode is sponsored by NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast. Ever Google a money question and end up 12 tabs deep with 12 different answers? This podcast is your shortcut back to clarity. NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast breaks down financial decisions with a team of trusted journalists. They explain the why behind decisions like investing, home buying, and choosing credit cards with clear, research-backed insights. No jargon, no misinformation. Make your next financial move with confidence. Follow NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast on your favorite podcast app.