OBGYN Baaaaby

Conan talks to OBGYN Jessica in New Jersey to receive a long overdue lesson on human anatomy. Wanna get a chance to talk to Conan? Submit here: teamcoco.com/apply

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:02Conan O'Brien?

  Who do you shop for first on the holidays, Sona? Was it, do you shop for the kids or do you shop for Tac?

• 0:06Speaker 01

  My kids.

• 0:07Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  Or Oki.

• 0:08Conan O'Brien?

  You gotta get them your stuff.

• 0:08Speaker 01

  Or my dog.

• 0:09Conan O'Brien?

  And then your husband is last. Well, guess what? It's that time of year. You feel that, you smell that cinnamon cider in the air? Do you smell that?

• 0:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:19Conan O'Brien?

  And you see pumpkins around, people buying turkeys. A little early to buy a turkey. Doesn't matter. Holidays? I would say it's just around the corner, but that's a cliche. It's very nearby in the cupboard. Well, guess what? Amazon delivers joy with low prices on the gifts you want even this early in the season. So get ahead of the season. Shop early gifts, top picks, holiday decor, and advent calendars at low prices. Get ahead, start on holiday gifting with Amazon's low prices. Shop now at amazon.com/holiday.

• 0:55Conan O'Brien?

  Now, Sona, clearly I'm a very important person to you.

• 0:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:58Conan O'Brien?

  Just accept the premise and we'll move ahead.

• 0:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:00Conan O'Brien?

  I'm a very important person to you. What would you get me from Macy's for the holidays?

• 1:06Speaker 01

  A vase.

• 1:07Conan O'Brien?

  No, I don't want a vase. I want something better.

• 1:10Speaker 01

  A jacket.

• 1:11Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, nice jacket. I love a nice jacket.

• 1:13Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, that jacket, nice jacket.

• 1:14Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, so now you have to do it. Cause you said you would.

• 1:15Speaker 01

  Aw, man, I didn't know you were doing that.

• 1:18Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I know the holidays, I know the holidays are months away, but it's never too early, Sona, to find gifts that I will love, gifts I will wear, and surprises that make the season unforgettable for me. Macy's Gift Guide makes holiday shopping easy with beauty favorites, stylish fashion, jewelry, cozy essentials, must-have toys, home upgrades, and picks for every person on your list. Coach handbags, Breville appliances, Lego UG, and more all in one place. You can skip the scrolling and shop with confidence. Shop now in-store or online at macy's.com/giftguide.

• 1:55Speaker 01

  Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com/callconan. Okay, let's get started.

• 2:05Conan O'Brien?

  Hey Jessica, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan.

• 2:07Speaker 02

  Hi guys, thanks for having me.

• 2:09Conan O'Brien?

  Hey Jessica, how are you?

• 2:11Speaker 02

  Oh, this is a dream come true. I'm having a great time.

• 2:14Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, well, you're masking it very well.

• 2:18Speaker 02

  I just finished office hours. I was like, I took a Perpanolol too, so I'm like, beta blocker up, you know?

• 2:26Speaker 01

  That's great.

• 2:27Conan O'Brien?

  I love my collars to be drugged up. That's the best way.

• 2:30Speaker 02

  Listen, I'm a doctor, I can get these prescriptions easily.

• 2:38Conan O'Brien?

  Jessica, where are you right now?

• 2:41Speaker 02

  I am in New Jersey, like Jersey Shore, Monmouth County.

• 2:44Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, very, and you are, it says here you're an OBGYN, is that correct?

• 2:50Speaker 02

  That's right, that's right, baby.

• 2:52Conan O'Brien?

  Very good.

• 2:55Conan O'Brien?

  Is that how you always respond when people say, "You're an OBGYN? Yes, I am, baby!"

• 3:00Speaker 02

  They're in stirrups and I'm like, "Hey, baby." It doesn't go over well every time, but...

• 3:05Conan O'Brien?

  Wow, okay.

• 3:05Speaker 02

  I'm a very specific type of doctor. I get very specific type of patients.

• 3:09Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah. Well, this is, there's so much to talk about here. First of all, have we met before? Because someone said you came to a taping or two back in the day?

• 3:18Speaker 02

  I mean, yeah, when I was in high school, I lived in Jersey, we would pop into the city, so I went to a lot of your tapings.

• 3:25Conan O'Brien?

  Oh wow, cool.

• 3:26Speaker 02

  And, yeah, I mean, obsessed. And then, um, my mom has like a ticket stub from one time we went to see you in 1999.

• 3:36Conan O'Brien?

  Wow, cool.

• 3:38Speaker 02

  And we had met Fabio.

• 3:43Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 3:45Conan O'Brien?

  I should point out, Fabio was an intern at the time for our show.

• 3:49Speaker 02

  Yes, and so we took this picture, it was before smartphones, so it was one of those throwaway cameras. And then after my mom took the picture with him, he grabbed my mom, dipped her backwards, kissed her on the mouth in front of my dad, and then like walked away, and then a month later, he got hit in the face with the goose on the roller coaster.

• 4:10Speaker 02

  Do you remember his face exploded on a roller coaster?

• 4:12Conan O'Brien?

  That's such an incredible, what an incredible sentence. Let's think about that sentence. He dipped my mom backwards, kissed her on the mouth in front of my dad, and a month later got hit on a roller coaster by a goose. What an amazing, you know, incredible piece of writing that is.

• 4:32Speaker 02

  It really is.

• 4:33Conan O'Brien?

  A series of images cascading into each other.

• 4:37Speaker 02

  At the lampoon, you wish.

• 4:39Conan O'Brien?

  I know, oh, never. I never could have thought of anything like that in my glory days. So, uh, okay, well, there's a lot to, as my wife would say, there's a lot to unpack there. So Fabio was kissing women, I hope that's been discouraged on Fabio now. I would have carried a spray bottle around Fabio and sprayed him like a bad cat.

• 4:57Speaker 02

  You would you spray him with, "I can't believe it's not butter."

• 5:00Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 5:01Speaker 02

  Remember, that was his, that was his big campaign.

• 5:03Conan O'Brien?

  That's right.

• 5:03Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 5:04Conan O'Brien?

  He was the shill for "I can't believe it's not butter."

• 5:07Speaker 01

  I would have tongued it.

• 5:08Conan O'Brien?

  You would have tongued Fabio?

• 5:09Speaker 02

  My mom, my mom would have. She was like, "Let's go, we're gonna go full throttle."

• 5:15Conan O'Brien?

  Sona would have bent him over backwards.

• 5:19Conan O'Brien?

  Sona probably, probably, Sona's twice as strong as, as Fabio. Um, wow, okay, so that's so nice, I'm glad you came to the shows and I hope you had a good time. Was your dad traumatized by seeing your mom, um, attacked by Fabio?

• 5:34Speaker 02

  My dad's from Brooklyn, so he wasn't having it. And I think my dad has some sort of superpowers where he put some sort of hex, like, on Fabio and then that's why he got hit by a goose in the face like a month later.

• 5:47Conan O'Brien?

  Have you, have, this is a pretty famous piece of tape. I guess he was on a roller coaster and, and he, and his nose is bleeding and everything. And, yeah, and, yeah, there he is, bleeding.

• 5:57Speaker 02

  There he is.

• 5:58Conan O'Brien?

  And it was apparently, it was apparently a Brooklyn goose.

• 6:03Conan O'Brien?

  The goose was paid by your dad. And.

• 6:07Speaker 02

  But look how pristine his face was here, pristine.

• 6:09Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, pristine. Never again, never again. He, uh, so, um, I want to talk to you about your profession.

• 6:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:18Conan O'Brien?

  You are, first of all, it's an incredible, incredible job to have. You're around so many births and you're bringing new life into the world. Tell us about that. Does it, do you get jaded or do you still see the miracle every time?

• 6:35Speaker 02

  I think the day I'm like, oh, this is not amazing is the day I should just hang it up. Every time I do an ultrasound and I see a heartbeat for the first time for a patient, I'm amazed. Every time a baby takes its first breath and cries, I'm like, this is so amazing. Shout out to Gourley, who I know is on his paternity leave. So congratulations to him.

• 6:57Conan O'Brien?

  He's on paternity leave. He's got two children now and we're all excited for him. And Sona, of course, has experienced this miracle herself with twins.

• 7:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:09Conan O'Brien?

  But you got over it real fast.

• 7:11Speaker 01

  I was just like, let's get on with it. Let's do this. Get them out. Let's go. We gotta hit the clubs.

• 7:18Conan O'Brien?

  She took her newborns to the clubs.

• 7:22Speaker 02

  Well, I only have one daughter. I was one and done and I feel like it's because I do so much with my patients. I really live through their pregnancies with them and it's, it's a beautiful thing. I wish it happened during normal business hours. I think it's kind of a bummer that they like to come in the middle of the night, the babies. It's pretty rude.

• 7:42Conan O'Brien?

  Is it true that you, you've been accused of trying to induce between nine and five?

• 7:48Speaker 02

  Oh, well, that's always like.

• 7:50Conan O'Brien?

  Any kind of bank holiday, they're not born.

• 7:53Speaker 02

  Everyone's like, oh, you have to go play golf or something. I'm like, I don't play golf. Like, what year is this?

• 7:58Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 7:58Speaker 02

  But yeah, so I wish it happened during normal business hours. It doesn't. But I picked this when I was in my twenties. Now I'm in my forties. I'm feeling a little old, a little schleppy. But it's okay. I still love it.

• 8:10Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, so I'm curious. There's so many things to... What are the things that you do immediately after the birth? What are the, uh, what hap- the baby's born, um, and I have been through this twice with my kids. Uh, I was there, very present, very present for both, uh...

• 8:28Speaker 01

  Why do you stress it?

• 8:29Speaker 02

  You saw things?

• 8:30Conan O'Brien?

  I saw, I saw so many things, uh, and, um, I, uh... And then it's so funny how you can kind of forget. I don't know what, you can, you can kind of almost blackout, uh, afterwards. And so I'm trying to remember what happens. I mean, yes, there's the cutting of the umbilical cord.

• 8:52Speaker 02

  The dads blackout a lot. They literally pass out.

• 8:55Conan O'Brien?

  I didn't pass, I didn't pass out, um, but...

• 8:58Speaker 02

  Thank you. Thank you so much for that. Cause the dads are always falling down and we're always like, we don't have time for you right now.

• 9:04Speaker 01

  Little bitches.

• 9:05Speaker 02

  And just like, pick your...

• 9:07Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 9:08Speaker 02

  We have smelling salts, like, come on. Uh, but the cutting of the cord, yes, the dads like to do that. I'm not sure how that became a thing. But if that makes them feel included, I'm all for it.

• 9:18Conan O'Brien?

  Well, it's so funny because I didn't ask to cut the cord, but the doctor said, now you cut the cord. And he handed me the scissors and I thought, well, am I getting paid here? You know what I mean?

• 9:29Speaker 01

  Oh, my god.

• 9:30Conan O'Brien?

  I'm serious. When I have a plumber over and he hands me the wrench, I'm like, okay, I wanna... Am I getting, am I getting a third?

• 9:39Conan O'Brien?

  So that was my complaint.

• 9:40Speaker 02

  You should have been compensated.

• 9:41Conan O'Brien?

  And I always, I worry about unions. I don't want it to be a union violation.

• 9:44Speaker 01

  Right, right, okay.

• 9:45Conan O'Brien?

  So that was my concern.

• 9:46Speaker 02

  I always tell the dads, it's thicker than you think. It's like cutting chicken. Cause they kind of like take like little bites out of it, but you gotta really go for the gusto. It's thicker than you think.

• 9:54Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 9:55Speaker 02

  Um, but the baby goes right on mommy's abdomen. We do delayed cord clamping, get some blood flow back into baby. We want to do that skin to skin for that first hour. A lot of bonding. Our hospital's really about mom and baby bonding and, uh... But yeah, we get them to stimulate and cry and give us that good first really great cry.

• 10:15Conan O'Brien?

  Do you just tell them sad stuff? What do you?

• 10:19Speaker 02

  Yes, actually, I told them no.

• 10:21Conan O'Brien?

  A shocking number of Americans can't read.

• 10:25Speaker 02

  I think we should bring it back, right? I hold them up and spank them on the butt, but we don't do that anymore.

• 10:30Conan O'Brien?

  Forty percent of government buildings have asbestos.

• 10:36Speaker 02

  So I just sometimes flick its little foot, like underneath its foot, you go like this.

• 10:39Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 10:40Speaker 02

  And it pisses them off.

• 10:41Conan O'Brien?

  Sure, pisses me off just hearing about it.

• 10:44Speaker 02

  I know. It's all about pissing the babies off, getting them that good cry, but we have such a great team at our hospital, our nurses are so great bedside, so I'm very lucky and I do really love my job.

• 11:02Conan O'Brien?

  You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?

• 11:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:05Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen, you know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.

• 11:19Speaker 02

  Nice.

• 11:20Conan O'Brien?

  Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.

• 11:28Speaker 02

  I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.

• 11:33Conan O'Brien?

  I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5 N, which I love. Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid's fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?

• 11:52Speaker 02

  Hello.

• 11:53Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid, yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space. With available, I have this memorized, H-Track all-wheel drive, up to an EPA-estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty. It's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality, innovation, technology, and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View US News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details.

• 12:27Conan O'Brien?

  Did you know that one in four Americans targeted by scams end up falling for them?

• 12:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:32Conan O'Brien?

  You fell for one.

• 12:32Speaker 01

  I fell for a scam.

• 12:34Conan O'Brien?

  Now, you didn't lose too much money, but you did lose.

• 12:36Speaker 01

  I did lose, and it was very inconvenient, and now they put protections on my account like I'm, uh, dumb.

• 12:42Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I don't know where they got that impression.

• 12:46Conan O'Brien?

  Criminals are now using AI to make scams look more realistic than ever. In 2025, AI fraud spiked 1,210% and cost Americans $893 million. That's incredible. Well, with AI, it can get so smart now.

• 13:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:03Conan O'Brien?

  Do you know what I mean?

• 13:03Speaker 01

  Maybe I should start scamming.

• 13:05Conan O'Brien?

  No, that's not the point.

• 13:06Speaker 01

  Oh, no, that's not the point of this.

• 13:07Conan O'Brien?

  That's not the point.

• 13:08Speaker 01

  It's so much money.

• 13:09Conan O'Brien?

  One accidental click, Sona, can expose your information, putting you at risk of identity theft. Luckily, this is the point. Not that you should start scamming, but that everyone should get LifeLock.

• 13:18Speaker 01

  Right, right, right, right, right.

• 13:19Conan O'Brien?

  LifeLock has live, US-based restoration specialists who will be with you every step of the way to fix your identity theft, from first alert to full restoration. This is fantastic. How do you not have this?

• 13:30Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 13:31Conan O'Brien?

  If you have expenses or money stolen due to identity theft, you're backed by the million-dollar protection package with up to $3 million coverage in some plans. Join now and save up to 30% off your first year. Go to lifelock.com/conan. That's lifelock.com/conan to save 30%. Terms apply.

• 13:49Conan O'Brien?

  Who do you shop for first on the holidays, Sona? Was it, do you shop for the kids, or do you shop for Tac?

• 13:53Speaker 01

  My kids.

• 13:54Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 13:54Speaker 01

  Or Oki.

• 13:55Conan O'Brien?

  You gotta get them your stuff.

• 13:56Speaker 01

  Or my dog.

• 13:56Conan O'Brien?

  And then your husband is last. Well, guess what? It's that time of year. You feel that, you smell that, uh, that cinnamon cider in the air? Do you smell that?

• 14:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:06Conan O'Brien?

  And you see pumpkins around, people buying turkeys. A little early to buy a turkey.

• 14:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:11Conan O'Brien?

  Doesn't matter. Holidays? I would say it's just around the corner, but that's a cliche. It's, uh, very nearby in the cupboard. Well, guess what? Amazon delivers joy with low prices on the gifts you want, even this early in the season. So get ahead of the season. Shop early gifts, top picks, holiday decor, and advent calendars at low prices. Get ahead, start on holiday gifting with Amazon's low prices. Shop now at amazon.com/holiday.

• 14:42Conan O'Brien?

  So now, you have to admit, the holidays, it's really about hanging with the people you love.

• 14:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:49Conan O'Brien?

  And getting to be yourself. Not going to some stuffy holiday party where you need to conform to what the man wants you to think about the holidays.

• 14:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:58Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, it's about being yourself. Turn your holiday time into Miller time by enjoying a Miller Lite in a place where you're free to enjoy yourself. On a walk with a cousin? With a cousin? Why are they getting all specific about?

• 15:09Speaker 02

  Because it's family.

• 15:10Conan O'Brien?

  But what about a niece or a nephew?

• 15:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:14Conan O'Brien?

  Like a walk with an ex-wife?

• 15:17Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know. I mean, they're just throwing, that's a weird, they just made a very specific choice.

• 15:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:21Conan O'Brien?

  Now's the time for those unexpected holiday side guests and enjoy a great tasting light beer. 'Tis Miller time, as Dickens wrote. Miller Lite is brewed for taste, the taste you can depend on. The original light beer since 1975 and still iconic more than 50 years later. I like to be with my bros, my chums, my posse. Crack open a Miller Lite, take a swig, a sip, look around and see my friends. We've known each other forever and we're just hanging out.

• 15:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, you guys are just doing chest bumps and high-fiving.

• 15:51Conan O'Brien?

  Miller Lite is great taste done right. Go to millerlite.com/conan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. 'Tis Miller time. Celebrate responsibly Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

• 16:13Conan O'Brien?

  What kinds of things could you teach me? You're very hyper-aware of the female body and there are probably things, believe it or not, that even I wouldn't be aware of.

• 16:21Speaker 02

  What?

• 16:22Conan O'Brien?

  You know what I mean? And maybe this is a good-

• 16:24Speaker 02

  That's surprising, I don't know.

• 16:25Conan O'Brien?

  This is a good chance for me to know some things, if you can impart to me any wisdom.

• 16:30Speaker 02

  Well, I think knowing anatomy is really important. Erogenous zones.

• 16:34Conan O'Brien?

  What are those?

• 16:35Speaker 02

  Things that could, right. Well, man, we gotta really start from the beginning. Yeah. Just, I think a big thing that sometimes men don't know is that women have more than two holes, they have three holes. So that's always interesting for them to know.

• 16:50Conan O'Brien?

  What are we talking about here? What are you talking about? Wait, what?

• 16:53Speaker 02

  Right.

• 16:53Conan O'Brien?

  No, be more specific, because I honestly, suddenly it's a bowling ball. What do we-

• 16:58Speaker 02

  Yes, you urinate through one hole, right?

• 17:01Conan O'Brien?

  Huh? What's that? Urinate, yeah.

• 17:03Speaker 02

  Peepees?

• 17:04Conan O'Brien?

  Peepees, yeah. Yeah.

• 17:05Speaker 02

  Uh huh. Peepees, poopoes.

• 17:07Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, of course.

• 17:08Speaker 02

  Right? And then baby come out of the vagina.

• 17:11Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 17:12Speaker 02

  So that's three.

• 17:12Speaker 01

  He's scared of the word vagina. But it's the urethra of the vagina.

• 17:16Speaker 02

  Oh, really? Urethra, the anus.

• 17:20Speaker 02

  Anus, right, Sona? We're gonna use our doctor words, I guess. I said peepee and poopo, so.

• 17:27Conan O'Brien?

  Tell me about your medical school.

• 17:30Speaker 02

  Right? How did that even happen?

• 17:32Conan O'Brien?

  So I'm sure you went to poo poo, poo poo you. So, um, okay, so the erogenous zones, you could help any man know about the erogenous zones?

• 17:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, where the clitoris is. I feel like that's really, there's a great book. Listen, there's a book you should read.

• 17:50Conan O'Brien?

  As far as I'm concerned, that's Sasquatch. You hear a lot of talk, but I've seen no evidence.

• 17:58Conan O'Brien?

  Here's a blurry photo of a clitoris. Yeah, I've seen that photo. Um, look.

• 18:04Speaker 01

  That's Sasquatch.

• 18:06Conan O'Brien?

  If you're gonna be talking bullshit on this thing,

• 18:10Conan O'Brien?

  I am a clitoris denier.

• 18:13Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 18:14Conan O'Brien?

  I, I.

• 18:18Speaker 02

  We have enough misinformation online. We can't. We have flat earthers. Now we have clitoris deniers.

• 18:25Conan O'Brien?

  I love a guy having, he's got a blurry photo from 1938 of a clitoris running between two trees.

• 18:39Conan O'Brien?

  See it right there?

• 18:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:41Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know. This was taken by a Scottish hiker. Uh, wow. Okay, well, um, yeah.

• 18:52Speaker 01

  Clitoris denier.

• 18:54Conan O'Brien?

  Wow.

• 18:55Speaker 02

  I could teach you how to do a circumcision.

• 18:57Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, okay. Hey, how do you do those? I'm curious. I mean, how do you?

• 19:02Speaker 02

  I know.

• 19:02Conan O'Brien?

  How does one? What's the tool that's used for circumcision? I've been to, I have been to many brisses. Uh, and, um, I have many, many Jewish friends and I've been to brisses, but you can't really see what's going on. And I've tried to fight for good look and they say that's inappropriate. I've been shoved by rabbis. Because it's weird. When a guy is saying, "Hey, I want to see that kid's dick." People get freaked out. You know?

• 19:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:31Conan O'Brien?

  "Hey, let me in there."

• 19:33Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 19:34Conan O'Brien?

  "I gotta see that kid's dick." People get freaked out.

• 19:39Speaker 02

  I don't know why.

• 19:40Conan O'Brien?

  So, um, and I know that now. I can see why that's an issue.

• 19:44Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 19:44Conan O'Brien?

  But what is the tool that's used?

• 19:47Speaker 02

  So different people use different tools. I like to use something called a mogen. So it looks like a cigar cutter. And you just pull up the foreskin and you go across. And then you clamp it down and then you lop it off with a scalpel.

• 20:01Conan O'Brien?

  And does the kid cry a lot after that?

• 20:04Speaker 02

  So no, we actually do dorsal nerve blocks. I'm injecting lidocaine. They get a sugar pacifier. We play music. It's like a spa experience.

• 20:12Conan O'Brien?

  So it's not traumatic for the kid?

• 20:15Speaker 02

  I mean, it might be. They can't tell me. But we try not to make it.

• 20:19Conan O'Brien?

  Hey, how convenient for you.

• 20:22Speaker 02

  Honestly, they're the best patients.

• 20:24Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. The, um, that's interesting. So you do the old chop on the, uh, on the foreskin.

• 20:31Speaker 02

  Then we have the calamari piece.

• 20:33Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I love this.

• 20:34Speaker 02

  Yes, we love that. That's your joke. I steal it.

• 20:37Conan O'Brien?

  That's my favorite joke to do at brisses, is to say, "Hey, man, that calamari was really good." Because I always have a meal afterwards. They always serve food at a bris. And I say, "I love the calamari." And then the person goes, "We don't have calamari." And I go, "Ugh."

• 20:51Conan O'Brien?

  Now, that joke works because he ate the foreskin thinking it was calamari.

• 20:55Speaker 02

  Right, do you get it?

• 20:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, I got it. Okay.

• 20:58Conan O'Brien?

  I'm glad you love that joke.

• 20:59Speaker 02

  It's not my favorite thing to do, though. I don't love to do circumcisions, you know?

• 21:02Conan O'Brien?

  Who would? If anyone said that's my favorite thing to do, that's a red flag right there. You know what I mean?

• 21:08Speaker 02

  Yes, and I try to avoid penises by doing what I do. And then they're like, "Oh, you have to do surgery on the smallest penis possible." You know, so that's a little weird.

• 21:19Conan O'Brien?

  I don't remember booking an appointment with you.

• 21:23Conan O'Brien?

  Home run. Home run.

• 21:25Speaker 01

  Well for you, just to, just to deep well. You are so happy.

• 21:33Conan O'Brien?

  Let's do the chart on this conversation. I'm the guy with the smallest penis in the world, who insists on checking out a kid's dick at a Bris, and doesn't believe there's a clitoris.

• 21:44Speaker 01

  Right. That's gonna go on your tombstone.

• 21:47Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. This is... I lay out comedically, no one lays out more awful information about themselves than I do. I don't know why that delights me. But you know, I will say on the serious side, that is... what an incredible job to have. Because I do think in the modern world, we get removed from... we get removed from birth and death. We've anesthetized ourselves to it. And so it's amazing to just be around so much new life. Would be, I think, very affirming, right? Be pretty amazing.

• 22:26Speaker 02

  And it just keeps going. You know, during COVID, we were delivering babies nonstop. That does not stop. So even though we felt like the world was ending, you saw that it doesn't. It just keeps going. Life is just gonna keep rolling along. And it really grounded me and helped me to see that there are so many beautiful things happening every day, even though it felt like the world was ending. You guys were a huge part of what got us through COVID too. Just listening to your podcast was so important. Kept us laughing, kept us going. And now that we're through that, I definitely have a deeper relationship and understanding with my patients. And I love what I do. I love... I really do love my patients. I get to practice where I grew up. So I feel connected to my community and I'm very lucky.

• 23:10Speaker 01

  That's cool.

• 23:11Conan O'Brien?

  I think it's great. I love that you were this teenager coming by, checking out our goofy tapings. And now I'm talking to you all these years later. And you're just... You're a very impressive person, Jessica, really, seriously. And very...

• 23:29Speaker 02

  Thanks.

• 23:30Conan O'Brien?

  Very cool to talk to you. And I love talking to people that have these jobs that are just so impressive.

• 23:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, I want, as a woman, the relationship we have with our OBs is such an important relationship. To be able to say... Whatever we need to say about our bodies. It's awesome. I mean, I love my OB, you know. It's awesome. I'm not crying. My voice is doing something weird.

• 23:54Conan O'Brien?

  You're saying you don't have that relationship with me? You don't feel like you could tell me anything about your body?

• 23:58Speaker 01

  Absolutely. Do you want to hear about perimenopause?

• 24:00Conan O'Brien?

  I do not.

• 24:01Speaker 01

  And like all the symptoms that I'm having?

• 24:02Conan O'Brien?

  Nope. I don't want to hear about any of it.

• 24:03Speaker 01

  See, this is the problem. You don't want to hear about, like, the word vagina scares you.

• 24:08Conan O'Brien?

  I don't want to, we're not doing this right now.

• 24:14Conan O'Brien?

  To quote my father, "We're not talking about that right now."

• 24:18Speaker 01

  Not right now.

• 24:19Conan O'Brien?

  He would say that about any time anything came up that he didn't want to deal with. He'd be like, "We're not talking about that right now." "Oh, I guess we're not."

• 24:27Speaker 01

  Not ever.

• 24:28Conan O'Brien?

  Well, Jessica, really lovely talking to you, and I hope we-

• 24:31Speaker 01

  This was a dream come true. You guys are all awesome.

• 24:34Conan O'Brien?

  I hope we cross paths in person. That'd be really cool. And then we can hear more about this fabled clitoris.

• 24:41Speaker 01

  I can draw you a picture.

• 24:42Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Might as well draw a unicorn, as far as I'm concerned.

• 24:49Speaker 01

  Thank you for your time, guys.

• 24:50Conan O'Brien?

  I'm an idiot. Thank you, Jessica. Bye.

• 24:52Speaker 01

  A dream. Have a great one.

• 25:42Conan O'Brien?

  Technology can generate salary recommendations in seconds, but building an offer that lands skilled talent, that takes more than just an estimate you came up with.

• 25:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're right.

• 25:52Conan O'Brien?

  That's where Robert Half's new 2027 Salary Guide can help.

• 25:56Speaker 01

  That's good.

• 25:56Conan O'Brien?

  Did we use a salary guide with you, Sona?

• 25:58Speaker 01

  Uh, no, but maybe-

• 25:59Conan O'Brien?

  For several years, I just gave you groceries, remember?

• 26:02Speaker 01

  I know, yeah, I remember that. That was not good.

• 26:04Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, well, anyway, now you got Robert Half's new 2027 Salary Guide. As a staffing firm placing talent every day, Robert Half combines compensation data with the experience of local recruiters you can hire with the confidence that comes from experience. The new Robert Half Salary Guide is here. Visit roberthalf.com/salaryguide.

• 26:26Conan O'Brien?

  When you hear Alka-Seltzer, you probably think heartburn, right?

• 26:28Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 26:29Conan O'Brien?

  Well, did you know Alka-Seltzer has a line of cold and flu medications known as Alka-Seltzer Cold? Did you know that, David?

• 26:36Speaker 03

  No, but I feel like we need it.

• 26:37Conan O'Brien?

  Why didn't you know that, David?

• 26:39Speaker 03

  I know, you expect me to know everything.

• 26:41Conan O'Brien?

  I knew this because I've- Yeah, I've tried it, it's really good. And I like that fizzy, fizzy, fizzy when you drop the Alka-Seltzer Cold into the water. Alka-Seltzer Cold: Fast Dissolves Tablets Are Designed to Deliver Cold and Flu Relief Fast. Just drop the two tablets in water and hear those bubbles bursting into action, ready to work faster than pills. Bubbles faster than pills. Pills take time to dissolve, not bubbles. Next time a cold or flu strikes, quick! Alka-Seltzer Cold: Nothing Works Faster for Cold and Flu Symptom Relief. Among Oral Products Used as Directed.