Patton Oswalt Returns Again

Comedian and actor Patton Oswalt feels relieved about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. Patton sits down with Conan once again to discuss the ridiculousness of the modern day press tour, obsessing over Martin and Lewis knock-offs, and exploring the idea of finding comfort in being overwhelmed in his newest special Tea & Scotch. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com. Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: (669) 587-2847.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 1:03Speaker 02

  Hi, my name is Patton Oswalt and

• 1:09Speaker 02

  I feel relieved about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

• 1:13Conan O'Brien?

  Relieved?

• 1:13Speaker 02

  Relieved.

• 1:14Conan O'Brien?

  You thought you were just barely hanging on with me?

• 1:16Speaker 02

  Hanging on by my fingertips? I know you've got way bigger people you're hanging out with.

• 1:20Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, I do.

• 1:20Speaker 02

  When everyone grabs the chocolate chip cookies, you learn to like the oatmeal. You learn to like the oatmeal cookies.

• 1:28Speaker 04

  Fall is here, hear the yell. Back to school, ring the bell. Brand new shoes, walking loose. Climb the fence, books and pens. I can tell that we are gonna be friends. I can tell that we are gonna be friends.

• 1:48Conan O'Brien?

  Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. I'm Conan O'Brien. Big surprise, joined by Son of Obsession.

• 1:54Speaker 00

  Hello.

• 1:55Conan O'Brien?

  Matt Gourley.

• 1:56Speaker 05

  Hi.

• 1:57Conan O'Brien?

  And very exciting show today. And I'm excited because this is a follow-up. You know, every now and then, something comes up in a podcast and maybe it piques the listener's interest and then we get to follow up with new information that changes the whole story. Do you know what I'm talking about here, Matt? Why don't you take the ball?

• 2:15Speaker 05

  Well, in an episode not long ago, we were talking about the epic time that Eduardo called Conan "The Little Bitch."

• 2:21Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, well, I don't know if it's epic time.

• 2:23Speaker 05

  It was epic.

• 2:24Conan O'Brien?

  Maybe the darkest hour.

• 2:25Speaker 05

  Hmm, one for the ages.

• 2:26Conan O'Brien?

  In the history of our, history of our nation.

• 2:28Speaker 05

  Monumental.

• 2:29Speaker 06

  Clutched my pearls.

• 2:30Speaker 05

  Hero of mine. And actually, we were all reveling in it.

• 2:33Conan O'Brien?

  That, yes. And, and just to make it clear, um, we were talking on a certain subject and then Eduardo, out of nowhere, just called me a little bitch.

• 2:41Speaker 06

  Out of nowhere?

• 2:42Conan O'Brien?

  Wasn't out of nowhere.

• 2:42Speaker 06

  I know, out of nowhere.

• 2:44Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I think.

• 2:45Speaker 05

  Wait, we're gonna litigate this again? Cause I'm talking about the time we were talking about that time.

• 2:50Speaker 05

  Which was very recently.

• 2:51Speaker 06

  But it didn't bother you at all? Cause you don't, you know?

• 2:54Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know, it's sort of, uh, it felt a little out of left field, um, and not at all in keeping with my stature. But, yes, we were discussing that time. Everyone here, of course, was doing the ha ha, wasn't that great? Wasn't that great? Colin sure got his. And then Sonya, you admitted something that's kind of surprised us.

• 3:13Speaker 05

  Kind of stopped us all.

• 3:14Conan O'Brien?

  Stopped us all.

• 3:15Speaker 06

  I don't think I would ever, I don't think I could ever call you a bitch. It just feels like, and then you said, you still have a little bit of professional fear and I, I, I think I do. And it was.

• 3:27Conan O'Brien?

  It's so funny because you, uh, have kicked my ass to the curb in so many different ways.

• 3:32Speaker 06

  Called you a dick.

• 3:32Conan O'Brien?

  Sure.

• 3:33Speaker 06

  I've called you an asshole.

• 3:34Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I am those things.

• 3:35Speaker 06

  Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I don't, I don't know why bitch feels like it's a little too harsh.

• 3:39Conan O'Brien?

  No, but to you, it, it stopped you a little bit and you were surprised that Eduardo said it.

• 3:45Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 3:45Conan O'Brien?

  And you thought, I couldn't go that far.

• 3:47Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 3:48Conan O'Brien?

  Okay. Well, some information has come in over the transom and Matt, you were the keeper of this information. Care to tell us about it?

• 3:54Speaker 05

  Well, as soon as we left that segment, Sam Curry, who handles all the wonderful social media, put a clip in all of our faces. Let's just roll the clip.

• 4:03Speaker 06

  We can talk shit, right?

• 4:04Conan O'Brien?

  The dreaded Sonoma Obsession, who's terrific at cornhole.

• 4:07Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 4:07Conan O'Brien?

  Um.

• 4:07Speaker 06

  I'm terrific. Come on, you little bitch. Fucking can't throw, you little bitch. What wasted height? God, this is embarrassing for you. Loser. No, you can't fucking talk to me.

• 4:18Conan O'Brien?

  I didn't, don't swear. I'm not worried about. This at all.

• 4:21Speaker 06

  I can't get better at this. It means we did a competition where we built wooden airplanes. You'd win. Dork. Someone's getting hurt because he's a loser. I don't think I've ever seen you throw anything.

• 4:34Conan O'Brien?

  Let's back a little bit.

• 4:35Speaker 06

  Three points for Conan. Yeah, I do have a problem.

• 4:38Conan O'Brien?

  Twice, twice you call him a little bitch. Twice you call me a little bitch. And that's one of 700 awful things you said to me. Just as we're playing cornhole within like a two minute period.

• 4:51Speaker 06

  Oh my god.

• 4:52Conan O'Brien?

  So you called me a little bitch twice.

• 4:53Speaker 06

  I was brutal. I was.

• 4:56Conan O'Brien?

  So what, explain. Yeah. How can you think you've never done it because you never in a million years would? And then you said it twice. In, within seconds of each other.

• 5:04Speaker 06

  I legitimately thought that I had never called you a bitch. I really did.

• 5:09Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 5:09Speaker 06

  And then I, the moment that that started, I was like, I remember that. And I think that, can I, can I say something in my defense?

• 5:16Conan O'Brien?

  Sure.

• 5:16Speaker 06

  I.

• 5:17Conan O'Brien?

  Please.

• 5:18Speaker 05

  I'd love to hear it.

• 5:18Speaker 06

  I had, I, at that point, I was buzzed, buzzed. I was buzzed.

• 5:23Conan O'Brien?

  Were you drinking? That was one of those.

• 5:24Speaker 06

  Yes, it was a summer s'mores.

• 5:26Conan O'Brien?

  Summer s'mores, so you were drinking alcohol?

• 5:27Speaker 06

  Yes, I was.

• 5:28Conan O'Brien?

  I don't even remember, but you probably made the cocktail.

• 5:30Speaker 05

  I did, I think.

• 5:31Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 5:31Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, what was in there, do you think?

• 5:32Speaker 06

  Liquid courage.

• 5:34Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, so you.

• 5:35Speaker 05

  The chocolate one?

• 5:36Conan O'Brien?

  Well.

• 5:37Speaker 05

  No, I don't know.

• 5:38Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, I guess my point is, your defense is that you were drinking.

• 5:42Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 5:42Conan O'Brien?

  And we all know that in vino veritas, truth comes out of drinking. So all that reveals is that you really do think I'm a little bitch.

• 5:51Speaker 06

  Here's what I know. I know I get competitive. And I know we were competing. And I'm even more competitive when I'm competing against you.

• 5:59Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 6:00Speaker 06

  Uh.

• 6:00Conan O'Brien?

  And you'd been drinking.

• 6:01Speaker 06

  And I've been drinking.

• 6:02Conan O'Brien?

  So you were trash talking.

• 6:03Speaker 06

  And I love to just trash talk, so.

• 6:06Speaker 05

  And you're a little bitch.

• 6:07Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 6:09Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I. Yes, I, I mean, we'll get to that later. I, whether or not I am a little bitch. We have, I've, I just came back from the doctor, the tests are in. We'll talk about that a little later.

• 6:22Speaker 06

  I, um, I think this also means I clearly don't have any sort of professional.

• 6:26Conan O'Brien?

  You don't. Also, if you remember, I demolished you in that cornhole game. I beat you and you were mad. You were really mad. And I think that's where a lot of this came out.

• 6:40Speaker 05

  Yeah, that was like an uncomfortable day. I remember feeling like my parents were fighting.

• 6:44Speaker 06

  Oh.

• 6:45Conan O'Brien?

  I wasn't fighting back, I don't think.

• 6:47Speaker 05

  No, you were smug as hell.

• 6:48Speaker 06

  You were so smug. You are the worst person to lose to.

• 6:51Conan O'Brien?

  Because I won in cornhole, which means that I'm the best person that ever lived.

• 6:54Speaker 06

  No, you are an awful person to lose. I'm already competitive and then went, "Look at your stupid face right now. Look at your stupid face."

• 7:01Conan O'Brien?

  Hey, if you want to see my stupid face, go to the video on Team Coco dot com.

• 7:06Speaker 06

  Oh, you're so smug, you're smug just thinking about it.

• 7:08Speaker 05

  And remember how cranky you was? The whole thing started with you complaining about ducting for like 20 minutes.

• 7:13Speaker 06

  Yeah, conduits.

• 7:14Conan O'Brien?

  The wall was covered in ducting and conduits. And hey, get me started on conduits and I need a drink. Uh, but the facts are, the facts are that you were shocked that Eduardo called me a little bitch.

• 7:26Speaker 06

  I was.

• 7:27Conan O'Brien?

  You said, "I would never do such a thing." And then we immediately, thanks to Sam Curry, had footage of you calling me a little bitch. Not once, but twice in rapid succession.

• 7:36Speaker 05

  Right.

• 7:37Conan O'Brien?

  So.

• 7:38Speaker 05

  What else have you done in your life that you think you haven't done?

• 7:40Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, you'd probably walk around thinking, "I didn't do that. I would never, I would never kill a hobo."

• 7:44Speaker 06

  You guys never had those nights where you went drinking and you woke up the next morning?

• 7:48Speaker 05

  It's us. Are you kidding?

• 7:49Speaker 06

  What was that?

• 7:49Conan O'Brien?

  What are you talking about?

• 7:50Speaker 06

  What happened?

• 7:51Conan O'Brien?

  I once had a rum flavored lozenge and woke up in the library.

• 7:54Speaker 05

  You're looking at two little bitches here.

• 7:56Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I'm a little bitch. And by the way, that's the big, that's the big reveal from my doctor is yes, it came back. The results, little bitch.

• 8:05Speaker 06

  When I used to go out and I would, you know, I would drink pretty heavily and then I would...

• 8:08Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, I remember, sure.

• 8:09Speaker 06

  Don't, don't add, don't add commentary.

• 8:12Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, I'm sorry. I thought this was a podcast with my fucking name on it.

• 8:23Conan O'Brien?

  We don't need your audio additions.

• 8:27Speaker 06

  You need to talk on this podcast.

• 8:29Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 8:30Speaker 06

  I do, and I, I think I would. It's not that I blacked out, it's that I was loopy doopy.

• 8:36Conan O'Brien?

  You went into a fugue state.

• 8:37Speaker 06

  And I went into like, hey, man, I'm, I'm like limber and loose and chill and we're competing against each other and you're a little bitch. And I was like, just shit talking.

• 8:46Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, so now.

• 8:47Speaker 06

  That's what we do.

• 8:48Conan O'Brien?

  You know what? Now I think Eduardo's looking at you and he's like, game recognizes game. You two.

• 8:52Speaker 05

  That's true. You probably incepted it in my mind.

• 8:54Speaker 06

  Ah, maybe I did.

• 8:56Speaker 05

  Now I know where I got it from.

• 8:57Speaker 06

  There's a little bitch virus going around.

• 9:02Conan O'Brien?

  Well, uh, you know what? I, I, there's nothing I can say, other than I probably had it coming.

• 9:08Speaker 05

  We solved a lot here. We solved that you did indeed call him a little bitch and you are indeed a little bitch. And we, we did it.

• 9:15Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah, we did. We solved a lot of problems here and I think, uh, everyone listening can rest easy.

• 9:21Speaker 06

  Yeah, and I drank too much. I don't even remember who won.

• 9:25Speaker 06

  I don't even remember who won that game.

• 9:27Speaker 05

  I think you won, Sona.

• 9:28Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, sure, sure you did. Well, uh, we have, we have a wonderful show today and I think we should begin.

• 9:35Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 9:37Conan O'Brien?

  My guest today is a comedian and actor who's latest, what's so funny to you?

• 9:42Speaker 06

  I feel like sometimes you, in your mind, you're like, is this an intro or are we ending the episode?

• 9:47Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know. My guest today is a comedian and actor whose latest comedy special, Tea and Scotch, is available to stream on YouTube. Uh, this gentleman is one of my all time favorite people. I love it when he pops in.

• 10:06Conan O'Brien?

  Patton Oswalt, welcome.

• 10:11Speaker 02

  I'm on that, one of those, uh, promo death marches for my new special. And, and listen, I, I'm, I'm flattered that anyone wants to talk to me, but there is nice to get to occasionally do a show like this where we're clearly just bullshitting. And it, there isn't that like, it's coming out here and push it, push it, push it. We're just, this interview.

• 10:30Speaker 02

  I'll be amazed if we even mention the special.

• 10:32Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 10:33Speaker 02

  We're gonna wander around everywhere.

• 10:34Conan O'Brien?

  We will, but it'll be a miracle when it happens.

• 10:36Speaker 02

  It will be, it'll be like, it'll be like a little Easter egg that pops up like, oh, oh, that's right, we're doing it.

• 10:42Conan O'Brien?

  There's a reason he came by.

• 10:43Speaker 02

  Yeah. But on the way, we'll somehow mention Marty Allen and the Treaty of Ghent. And it'll be the most unproductive. Oh, my God. I can't believe they said it. Oh, God. Oh, God.

• 10:56Conan O'Brien?

  That's how all kids who are like 14 and 15, all 14 and 15 year old girls know me is the guy that talks about the Treaty of Ghent. It's their favorite topic.

• 11:05Speaker 02

  At the food court.

• 11:06Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 11:09Speaker 02

  They're all eating Swedish fish and gummies and.

• 11:13Speaker 05

  They know you as the man to stay away from.

• 11:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:16Speaker 05

  At the mall.

• 11:17Speaker 02

  Cause I talk about the Treaty of Ghent. Um, no, it's so funny. He's gonna quiz us again.

• 11:21Conan O'Brien?

  It's so funny you bring up this, the media death march, which most people aren't aware of because in this siloed world, they come across the thing that they like and oh, great, you know, patent's on. But they don't know that in order to reach a number of people to watch your special, they need, you had to do 107 of these. I swear to God, this is a thing that was said to me maybe 75 times on the old late night show and, and shows after that. But over like a 28 year career of doing late night television, many times, much more than you'd think, people said to me, oh, my God, I've been doing so much press, but this is the last stop. They would say that without any sense that it's insulting.

• 12:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:06Conan O'Brien?

  Like I did everything and then, you know, we all know.

• 12:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:10Conan O'Brien?

  That at the very end.

• 12:11Speaker 02

  If there's time.

• 12:12Conan O'Brien?

  If there's time.

• 12:13Speaker 02

  You do the Conan O'Brien thing.

• 12:17Conan O'Brien?

  I swear to God, they said that so many times and I would like look out at my, at my two-shot camera and go, why? Why?

• 12:24Speaker 02

  That's being broadcast.

• 12:25Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 12:26Speaker 02

  You just let people be.

• 12:28Conan O'Brien?

  People hear that.

• 12:28Speaker 02

  This is one of those things like when I do, um, uh, Double Threat with Tom Shoppin and Julie Klausert. Oh, this is the dessert in the middle of all of the boom boom. Because we were talking about. We went on when you're promoting things now, it is, you are doing a million. It isn't even talk shows anymore. It is stunts.

• 12:47Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 12:47Speaker 02

  You just, you have stunts lined up all day. You're gonna go on this thing, you're gonna both be at a, at a, at a salmon hatchery. And, um, and you're gonna be following, you're gonna be, you know, squeezing the thing to get the, whatever the-

• 13:02Conan O'Brien?

  The row.

• 13:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, the row out, and then you'll be talking about, it's called All in a Row.

• 13:07Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 13:07Speaker 02

  With, uh, with Mike Rowe.

• 13:09Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 13:09Speaker 02

  And, and listen, it's, it's 800 billion viewers. They love watching celebrities squeezing out salmon.

• 13:15Conan O'Brien?

  We were, we were talking about this because I did this, I was telling you, I did this movie, uh, with Rose Byrne last year, and they said, you know, you, no, I've never, I don't do movies. And so I was new to all of this.

• 13:27Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 13:27Conan O'Brien?

  And it used to be, oh, to promote your movie, you'd go on maybe one, maybe two late night shows. This is back in the day. It's all changed seismically since then.

• 13:37Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 13:37Conan O'Brien?

  So the next thing I know.

• 13:39Speaker 02

  Seismically is a good way to put it. Yes.

• 13:41Conan O'Brien?

  I am talking to, uh, a young woman's interviewing us while Rose and I are finger painting. And, and then that would be over and they'd say, get rid of the finger paints, get rid of the finger paints. And then they'd bring in a little blonde Austrian boy named Gudha, and he, the, his bit is, you both have to put on Flemish armor. While Gudha throws ping pongs at you, ping pong balls, and they have little questions, and you have to catch them and then answer the questions you catch. And 900 billion views, and you do these, and it's one thing for me to do it, because people are used to me being humiliated all the time. But Dame Judi Dench.

• 14:18Speaker 02

  Right, yeah.

• 14:19Conan O'Brien?

  Has to be lowered into a giant toilet filled with hot caramel, and then the person asks her questions about her career.

• 14:30Conan O'Brien?

  And it's called, you know, Schittshausen.

• 14:32Speaker 02

  Yes, exactly. We're pronounced.

• 14:35Speaker 02

  I'm voting the movie The Queen and what better way to do it than on Royal Flush?

• 14:38Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:39Speaker 02

  That's where we... But, but okay, here's what's even weirder, though. You're in a movie called If I Had Legs I'd Kick You, which is a very, like, kinda, it has funny parts to it, but it's a drama.

• 14:51Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, it's dark. It's tense, it's dark, yeah.

• 14:52Speaker 02

  Drama, and you're doing finger painting.

• 14:55Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 14:55Speaker 02

  So, that's like having Willem Dafoe and Charlie Sheen, like, doing, um, playing Gnip Gnap, going, "Go see Platoon." It's a really dark movie about, oh, oh, you got through, Willem.

• 15:07Conan O'Brien?

  The loss of America's innocence. Man's in humanity, man, got it! My hippo beat your hippo.

• 15:15Speaker 02

  I guess I was hungrier, Willem.

• 15:18Conan O'Brien?

  No, it is, it is what's become, and so here's another thing. I'm, uh, I'm gonna be, I'm in Toy Story 5, it's coming out in, in, in June. Now, you did Ratatouille, and it was probably, uh, long enough ago that there was some, some of this, but now it's gone haywire. And already, I've done things where I'm, they'll say, now they don't even trust us to know the context. They don't even trust the comic or the performer to know the context. So they'll say, "Just say rope-a-dope Squidly D." And you go, "Uh, rope-a-dope Squidly D." And they say, "Now say rope-a-dope Squidly D, hello, Brazil." And then, they get all these things out of context, and you do it, and they say, "Trust us,

• 15:59Conan O'Brien?

  it all fits into a bigger thing, because, you know, Tom Hanks has done it, and Tim Allen's done it, and, you know, Joan Cusack's done it, and when it all fits together and is shown around the world to 900 billion people, it's really funny." And I'm like, "How old are you? I'm 21." I'm in charge of all Disney, Hulu, Pixar, and so it's amazing.

• 16:21Speaker 02

  I'm 21, and the success of this movie hinges on me getting to these outlets.

• 16:27Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 16:27Speaker 02

  All these online outlets, or you're screwed if you don't have me.

• 16:29Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's nuts.

• 16:30Conan O'Brien?

  It's just fascinating to me how this is what it is, and I'm a big believer in, you don't, don't come, I'm not complaining about it, I'm marveling.

• 16:38Speaker 02

  Me too.

• 16:39Conan O'Brien?

  That it, that it changed.

• 16:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:40Conan O'Brien?

  It just all changed, and now it's this, and I'm an old, white guy who's like... Whoa, look what's happening. You know, just losing my relevance fast, but I'm just enjoying all the changes.

• 16:50Speaker 02

  Yes, and I'm enjoying, and I'm, I'm very anxious to see who is going to do the next great, like, producers Doctor Strangelove-style satire on this moment, like, what, how crazy this is.

• 17:03Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 17:03Speaker 02

  But, but it's going to be hard. I, I'm in a movie called The Goat, and it's a delightful animated movie. And, um, so to promote it, uh, we, a bunch of the actors, we all went and did goat yoga. They filmed us doing goat yoga, so there were, there was a goat on my back.

• 17:20Conan O'Brien?

  Uh huh.

• 17:20Speaker 02

  And it was, I don't want to get graphic, but it was spraying goat turds. And apparently-

• 17:27Conan O'Brien?

  By the way, not graphic at all.

• 17:29Speaker 02

  Well, yeah. Um, I, I literally just said, I don't want to be graphic, spraying. And by the way, what I would have found that day is-

• 17:36Conan O'Brien?

  It's on your back.

• 17:37Speaker 02

  Well, goat turds come out like pellets. These were these little pellets coming out.

• 17:41Conan O'Brien?

  It's a giant Pez dispenser.

• 17:43Speaker 02

  It is. But as I'm doing this, we, we, they went, okay, cut, and they're doing this, but I'm still have a goat on my back. And it's, it stopped spraying for a second, and then somebody was on there, and they went, "Oh, man, we just went to war with Iran." And then the goat started spraying pellets again. And I'm just like, so where was, where was Hollywood when the war was declared? And they just cut to me like,

• 18:06Speaker 02

  "Go see Goat."

• 18:07Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 18:09Conan O'Brien?

  Well, Patton Oswalt was holding on the fort in America, doing his part for our boys overseas.

• 18:14Speaker 02

  Hollywood answers the call.

• 18:19Speaker 02

  But I'm telling you-

• 18:20Conan O'Brien?

  You're a regular Capra.

• 18:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 18:22Conan O'Brien?

  But you know what? You can't think of something, you know, you can't think of anything that's weirder or funnier as a comedian to parody this than what's really happening.

• 18:33Speaker 02

  Yes, than what you're doing.

• 18:34Conan O'Brien?

  You, with a goat on your back as it shoots pellets out its ass, was a real thing.

• 18:40Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 18:40Conan O'Brien?

  And that's what one, you know, and, and I accept that's, go eat hot wings, you know, with Sean.

• 18:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 18:47Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, go eat, uh, chicken on a chicken shop date. Um, and those, their shows are really funny, the interviewers are great, I love it all. But it's fascinating that those shows now,

• 18:58Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 18:58Conan O'Brien?

  Um, you know, people talk about late night TV and what's happening to it, and I think, well, obviously, there's a political component to it, and there's all kinds of stuff going on, all kinds of factors, but- Um, none of us can, no late night show can compete with these shows that cost $2 to make.

• 19:13Speaker 02

  Nothing.

• 19:14Conan O'Brien?

  And they're watched by, you know, hundreds of millions of people all around the country. It's kind of stunning.

• 19:20Speaker 02

  I, somebody, uh, I remember I did a, a late night talk show, I won't say which one, but they basically said, no one's actually watching this show. We hope that one of our clips goes viral tomorrow. That's where we get our viewers. That's where the promo happens, which is why there are so many stunts and craziness going on. They want the viral moments.

• 19:40Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 19:40Speaker 02

  And they're, and no one has the patience now. I just rewatched the, there's that Dick Cavett episode where they're, remember they're promoting husbands? So it's Peter Falk, Ben Gazzara and John Cassavetes come out and they are so tanked. And the, and it is, it's like a better movie than the movie they're promoting is them drunk and, and Ben Gazzara takes his shoes off at one point and Cassavetes falls asleep and it like, it's such an event. And now that would have to be cut up into little

• 20:09Conan O'Brien?

  Sure.

• 20:10Speaker 02

  seven second things. You won't, you wouldn't watch the whole event anymore.

• 20:13Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. No, I mean, it reminds you of the way things have changed that, uh, Dick Cavett could, you know, uh, could have James Baldwin on and they could talk about, uh, the state of being black in America for like 35 minutes.

• 20:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:30Conan O'Brien?

  And it's one of the most celebrated authors of all time. And it's, you know, um, but now they would say, uh, you know, that's great, Mr. Baldwin. We want to talk about that, but first you have to hold this exploding pig. We've stuffed a lot of Starburst into it and they're timed to go off in five minutes. And then when it blows, you have to catch as many in your mouth as you can, but one raspberry and you get a goo goo point. Which means you have to sit on the bon bon throne.

• 20:57Speaker 06

  Watch all of the things that you're describing right now. I would watch everything you're describing.

• 21:02Speaker 02

  Mr. Baldwin, that was a really incisive take on the white liberal. Try the next hot sauce. See how hot that is. Are you feeling it yet? Is that the second one?

• 21:11Conan O'Brien?

  He's so busy screaming, eating the hot sauces and at the very end, they just have to jam in, and remember racism may be endemic in our society. Anyway, that's all the time we have. Let the record show, he, he, the seven sauce was the one that got him.

• 21:25Speaker 02

  A little rough.

• 21:33Conan O'Brien?

  You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?

• 21:35Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 21:36Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen, you know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.

• 21:50Speaker 06

  Nice.

• 21:51Conan O'Brien?

  Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.

• 21:59Speaker 06

  I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.

• 22:04Conan O'Brien?

  I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5 N, which I love. Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid's fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?

• 22:23Speaker 06

  Hello!

• 22:24Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid, yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space. With available, I have this memorized, H-Track all-wheel drive, up to an EPA-estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty. It's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality, innovation, technology, and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View US News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details.

• 22:55Speaker 07

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• 23:46Conan O'Brien?

  Whenever I talk to him, reminded that you have this insane knowledge of history and also movies, pop culture. And all I will say is that there's a thread around that you are part of and a bunch of other really sharp, really funny people. And I rarely contribute because I have a knowledge of these things, but I can't keep up with you guys. I feel like someone who's got a single shot Derringer, and you all have these very sophisticated gas-powered Russian machine guns firing away. And I'll just

• 24:24Speaker 02

  And a combination, the word insane, a combination of genuine knowledge of history and then the most useless showbiz trivia you've ever heard. In equal amounts.

• 24:32Conan O'Brien?

  And this is what I want to bring up, because we might as well go for it. There's this obsession that you and your cohorts have. And I think I have it a little bit too, but not as much as you guys with, there was, everyone knows Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin, Lewis and Martin. And then at some point, it was decided there should be, it was guess a ripoff or something, but it was these two guys who were supposed to maybe like, okay, Lewis and Martin are kind of winding down. So we've, it's a shameless, it's two guys. One is Sammy Petrillo, the other's Duke Mitchell.

• 25:05Speaker 02

  Mitchell.

• 25:06Conan O'Brien?

  And, and it's not, it's Martin and Lewis, but it's not Martin and Lewis. And it's kind of horrifying.

• 25:13Speaker 05

  Like when they replaced the Duke brothers?

• 25:15Conan O'Brien?

  No, no.

• 25:16Speaker 02

  That is, and by the way, I'm not saying this to be joking, that was subtle compared to what we're talking about.

• 25:21Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 25:22Speaker 02

  And like, this mutant amplified version of what Martin and Lewis were. They were a nightclub, Sammy Petrillo and Duke Mitchell. And Sammy Petrillo was doing Jerry Lewis, like, almost like it's body horror. Like, it looked like his face was gonna come apart. It's so unsettling.

• 25:38Conan O'Brien?

  It's a real thing. And then they, they do these movies, like Sammy Petrillo and Duke Mitchell meet.

• 25:44Speaker 02

  They did one movie.

• 25:45Conan O'Brien?

  Uh huh.

• 25:46Speaker 02

  They only did one called Bela Lugosi meets a Brooklyn gorilla.

• 25:50Conan O'Brien?

  Uh huh.

• 25:51Speaker 02

  There's no Brooklyn gorilla in the movie. There's, I mean, a guy, Duke gets turned into a gorilla. I can't believe I just tried to qualify that. I just said, Duke gets turned into a gorilla, as you know.

• 25:59Conan O'Brien?

  So there is a gorilla.

• 26:00Speaker 02

  It's, it's Bela Lugosi at the height of his morphine addiction. It's these two.

• 26:05Conan O'Brien?

  And that goes on the poster too.

• 26:07Speaker 02

  At the height of his morphine addiction.

• 26:09Speaker 05

  You've never seen him like this before.

• 26:11Speaker 02

  Goof to his eyeballs.

• 26:15Speaker 02

  We all organized the night to go see it at the New Beverly recently.

• 26:19Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I think I was doing a travel show. I would have gone to that. I was out of town, but I, you know, I check in on this thread because you guys are going all the time. I mean, you guys are chattering away at 4 a.m. And occasionally, you know, when I'm up in the night to apply a cream or an ointment, I'll check in with you guys and it's like, oh my God, there it is. But you guys have this endless fascination with this mutant version of Jerry Lewis, which is a funny sentence.

• 26:45Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 26:45Conan O'Brien?

  Because you don't need a mutant version of Jerry Lewis.

• 26:48Speaker 02

  But they found one.

• 26:49Conan O'Brien?

  They found one and there they are.

• 26:52Speaker 05

  Oh my God, it's in the face. Boy, they both look like them in a bizarro way.

• 26:55Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, yes.

• 26:56Speaker 02

  Exactly, yeah.

• 26:57Speaker 05

  But you can see.

• 26:58Speaker 02

  And it's like, you can tell how angry Bela Lugosi is being in this movie. Like, he is openly snapping at Sammy Petrillo. And unlike the Jerry Lewis movies where when Jerry's doing his stuff, people are kind of laughing or enjoying it, all the other characters in this movie are openly hostile. It's like, shut up! Stop! Like, they're just yelling at him.

• 27:18Conan O'Brien?

  You're not Martin and Lewis.

• 27:21Speaker 02

  No, stop this. And then they, I could, listen, let me tell you what the.

• 27:27Conan O'Brien?

  Listen, I like, I like how you just said, listen, like, this marriage is over.

• 27:31Speaker 02

  No, no, no. I want to show you the essence of this thread. One night, we, for some reason, we started all texting and emailing back and forth about soupy sales.

• 27:40Conan O'Brien?

  Soupy sales, yeah.

• 27:41Speaker 02

  And then you chimed in and it was, it is 3 a.m. I'm in a tent in Africa. This is the one hour that I get wifi and you have me looking up soupy sales videos on YouTube. Like, you're literally in the cradle. He goes, I'm in the cradle of civilization, you idiots. I'm watching soupy sales videos on YouTube because of you morons.

• 28:04Conan O'Brien?

  You know what's amazing is you guys draw me in.

• 28:06Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 28:07Conan O'Brien?

  And you were talking about the Ritz brothers. That was.

• 28:10Speaker 02

  That might have been it. I think it was the Rich Brothers.

• 28:12Conan O'Brien?

  The Rich Brothers who were sort of a version, you know, they.

• 28:16Speaker 02

  Again, mutant Marx Brothers.

• 28:17Conan O'Brien?

  Mutant Marx Brothers. And you were talking about one of the Ritz brothers and I, I am in. Ghana. And I'm shooting a travel show.

• 28:25Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 28:26Conan O'Brien?

  And I'm shooting a, a, a, a, a travel show and I can't sleep and it's three in the morning and my phone goes

• 28:34Conan O'Brien?

  I'm like, what the hell? Maybe it's Liza contacting me to say that our house was just stolen. And I look at it and you guys are all talking about Harry Ritz. Harry Ritz, he was the funny one.

• 28:46Speaker 02

  They wanted him to leave his brothers, he wouldn't do it.

• 28:48Conan O'Brien?

  He wouldn't do it, he was loyal, but then he made this movie late in his career and I don't know, it's kind of embarrassing and I'm suddenly looking at clips of it and then I come in to Harry Ritz's defense.

• 29:00Conan O'Brien?

  And I'm like.

• 29:02Conan O'Brien?

  And yeah, you're again, I am in the cradle of civilization.

• 29:06Speaker 02

  In a tent.

• 29:06Conan O'Brien?

  I should be.

• 29:07Speaker 02

  On the veldt. Be like connected to the. Here's, here's what made me laugh so hard. I've, I've never mentioned this to you. I, when you, when you said, I'm in a tent in Ghana and I'm looking at Rich Brothers videos on YouTube. I just picture like, there's this, um, like a, like a cheetah or something like in the bush, like looking over and there's this all silent tent and suddenly this little light goes on in the tent and you hear this. Mr. Fandine and his dad, he went away one day. And you're like, you just, these little Rich Brothers songs. This guy's like, oh, fuck is that weirdo doing? Like just trying to get away from it. But that happened at one point, this little glow went on in a tent and that was Conan because of us. Oh my God.

• 29:51Conan O'Brien?

  I just love, but I just, I, I had to bring that up because if you, if you guys want to amuse yourselves, uh, Sammy Petrillo, Duke Mitchell are, and also there was this feel, there was this almost sense, I remember reading an interview with Jerry Lewis where he, he blessed these guys. He was like, I blessed them at first. He blessed them because he said, well, someone's got to keep it going because we're almost, you know, we're winding it down and, and I want to, I'm tired. And so I want someone to take over being Jerry Lewis. And I thought, that's not how it works. We don't need someone else. Maybe you should go away for a while. I just have the idea the, that I would say, you know what?

• 30:34Conan O'Brien?

  I'm stepping, I can't step down yet because I haven't found someone else. Who can be that would have the funny name and the hair and the, you know, the pitchy voice and-

• 30:45Speaker 02

  I haven't found someone who would disconnect from the atmosphere of Africa to watch soupy sales getting hit in the pie at 3 a.m. And I'll know that when I see it in his eyes, I'll know it, but I haven't found it yet.

• 30:59Conan O'Brien?

  And then I can rest.

• 31:00Speaker 02

  Then I know.

• 31:01Conan O'Brien?

  Then I can retire to my ancestral mans and write my memoirs when I find another idiot to do this shit that I'm doing.

• 31:07Speaker 02

  But I think one of the reasons that we're, we are so obsessed with this stuff is because, you know, showbiz is a, is a very rough up and, this is nothing new, but showbiz is very up and down and there can be extremes of up and down. And some people, they think the up will last forever and it doesn't. And you still have to show up when you're not necessarily doing what might be the most glorious or looked at work. And this past week with, you know, like Netflix is a joke, I know that a lot of people were like, this guy's in an arena, but you get to do comedy, you still get to do it and you get to show up. Like Nicolas Cage has made some bad movies, but he was never bad in them. He showed up and did something unique.

• 31:52Speaker 02

  And even with, when you watch Bela Lugosi meets a Brooklyn gorilla, as pissed as Bella is with Sammy Petrillo, who's literally hanging on him. And one time he openly yells at him and it's clearly not in the script. He just is like, "Go close the cages!", he just screams at him. But he's still showing up and doing the work. Like he's, and that always fuels me when I see it. That's why I'm obsessed with that level of showbiz.

• 32:17Conan O'Brien?

  You and I have several things in common, I believe.

• 32:20Speaker 02

  Our height.

• 32:22Conan O'Brien?

  Our height. Our brute strength.

• 32:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:25Conan O'Brien?

  Our Celtic blood. But you know, like, one of the things that- Uh, I think you've made this point and I've made this point. Uh, which is that we weren't class clowns. I was never a class clown. And in fact, I never liked the class clown. Not that I was jealous, I just thought he's making too much noise. It's, and I was very quiet and kind of shy about being funny.

• 32:51Speaker 02

  I was, I wasn't the class clown, but I was in the class clown clique. In other words, we, we were the comedy nerds, but we weren't the, hey! It was the, we knew all the routines, we knew all the, I mean, but we were like, went deep. When, when other kids, when other kids were like quoting Monty Python, my group could quote Derek and Clive. And like, we would always go for the even deeper stuff.

• 33:14Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 33:15Speaker 02

  You know, yeah, it was that, that's the kind of comedy we liked.

• 33:17Conan O'Brien?

  And so you would, you're not the kind of person that would get up in front of everyone else and do something when you're in high school or grade school.

• 33:25Speaker 02

  And I'd feel a little, no.

• 33:26Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 33:27Speaker 02

  Not quite.

• 33:27Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. So when you get into stand-up, did you have to fight through a reluctance to get up in front of people to, in order to do it?

• 33:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, I had to, well, it's weird. Um, for the first thing that I did was because I was so reluctant to go up, I did this bigger version of myself to hide the fact that I'm not comfortable with myself being up here. So it was a very much a stage persona and a stage presence. And it took me like six years to work through that. It wasn't until I moved to San Francisco, um, four years into it, I started seeing comedians like Brian Posehn and Margaret Cho and Greg Berentz and Greg Probst that were actually themselves on stage rather than, hey, I'm talking to you now, you're going on, I gotta get into my stage. They, they could literally be mid-sentence and go, I'll be right back. And they would just go up and talk.

• 34:15Speaker 02

  And so now it doesn't really feel like I'm nervous when I'm on stage because I've become so comfortable just being up there and going, this is what's going on and here, you know, and I've also got over the whole, let me point out what's stupid about the world and here's my cool take. Now my, my point of view is so much more, listen to this idiotic thing I did. You're not going to believe this, like, like it's more insightful that way. But it's weird, I had to get over that by first. Embracing that out of nervousness and then like now I can just kind of be myself.

• 34:46Conan O'Brien?

  It takes years to grind that out of you to the point where you can go up and say, I know who I am, you know who I am.

• 34:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's one of the things on the one hand, I'm so glad with a lot of the new online media and cell phones and social media that people have way easier access to their the gatekeepers don't quite have the power that they used to have.

• 35:07Conan O'Brien?

  I don't think there are gatekeepers.

• 35:08Speaker 02

  That really there's not really anymore, but the one bad thing about it is what you just talked about. The years that it takes for you to get through that persona sometimes and become yourself. A lot of people, because they're immediately filming themselves as they start, they're not, they don't have those years in the wilderness that people like my generation had where you figure out who you are. And a lot of people are getting stuck in a very early persona that they're comfortable with. But as they grow and mature and evolve, they're like, I don't want to do that anymore. I want to do this thing, you know, like I just think of all of the, the, the, the rock stars that we know and love now. That would if they had been stuck in their early personas forever.

• 35:46Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I brought, you know, my example was if the current world had existed in 1962.

• 35:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:55Conan O'Brien?

  Everyone would have been sick of the Beatles before they even got to the Ed Sullivan Show.

• 35:59Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 35:59Conan O'Brien?

  Because they would have seen, I mean, no matter where you are in the world, you've seen thousands of hours of videos of them in the cavern club.

• 36:05Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 36:05Conan O'Brien?

  And then British Beatlemania, they're touring over there in the Netherlands, they're in Germany, they're, and then they're coming to the Ed Sullivan Show. Yeah, we know, we know them. And you know what? I think their best work was their early work.

• 36:18Conan O'Brien?

  To us, that was the big introduction after they had been had their legendary.

• 36:22Speaker 02

  Where did they come? Where, where did this come from?

• 36:24Conan O'Brien?

  Haircuts.

• 36:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:25Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. And so.

• 36:26Speaker 02

  And, and we would have seen a version of the Beatles and that's how we would have pegged them.

• 36:30Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 36:31Speaker 02

  They would have been the ones in the German strip club in Hamburg in the leather jackets, lighting condoms on fire and throwing them into the audience and doing antics and being crazy like, that's the Beatles I know. And then by the time Brian Epstein got ahold of them, made them the ones that began, they're like, I don't know. Put the lead, you guys are goofballs.

• 36:49Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 36:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, we wouldn't have accepted it.

• 36:51Conan O'Brien?

  No, I think that. That's, that's, uh, it's weird to say, but it was a luxury.

• 36:54Speaker 02

  Although now there seems to be a quiet rebellion against that where there, there does seem to be, whatever the generation after Alpha, a lot of them seem to be like, you don't need to film me yet. I'm, we'll wait till I figure it out, which is, what, cause they're learning from the mistakes of the ones that came before them.

• 37:09Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 37:10Speaker 02

  A lot of the influencers that are now trapped in the, oh God, I gotta, I gotta mukbang again. That's what people are watching. I gotta eat 10 cans of baked beans if I wanna sell my new book. I don't know.

• 37:23Speaker 02

  Anyway, my guest today is Conan O'Brien. Conan, you got a new show coming out?

• 37:27Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 37:28Speaker 02

  Conan, why are you wearing a yachting cap?

• 37:32Conan O'Brien?

  Something I thought I tried in 1982, but I thought I should bring back out again.

• 37:37Speaker 02

  You look like an idiot.

• 37:39Conan O'Brien?

  You know, one of the things that, uh, your fame and your success is not wasted on you because you get to do all these things that you're genuinely passionate about. You get to dip into these projects and these things, not just stand up, but there are so many different ways that you have taken your, you know, natural, uh, ingrained, uh, obsessions. And the, and then you get to jump into your, in this Star Trek Strange New World.

• 38:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:08Conan O'Brien?

  And you're, you're like, this is, I could picture you, if someone suggested this to you when you were 11 or 12, you'd say, that's, that's insane. That could never happen.

• 38:17Speaker 02

  Right. And also the fact that I am in a show that is being made by people that grew up at the same time as me, that loved Star Trek, that, that also went, but what if this thing had, like, everything that you love, you will always then, but then why don't they add this aspect to it? So the fact that, yeah, I'm playing a Vulcan, but it's a Vulcan who's obsessed with human culture and, um,

• 38:41Conan O'Brien?

  His name's Doug.

• 38:42Speaker 02

  His name is Doug.

• 38:43Conan O'Brien?

  He's a Vulcan named Doug, which is my favorite thing.

• 38:46Speaker 02

  But his parents were obsessed, so they gave him, it's the same way as like, people like hippies giving their kids names, you know, like, like American, uh, Indian names or, you know, first they turn into like,

• 38:57Conan O'Brien?

  Starshine.

• 38:58Speaker 02

  Exactly. So, um, why wouldn't that happen in, in another culture? Why wouldn't they try to do that? And he, unlike Spock, who has, has kinda struck this balance, he's so clumsy with it. But because he really loves it, and that's a really real thing to play.

• 39:12Conan O'Brien?

  Vulcan with an artistic edge.

• 39:14Speaker 02

  With an artistic edge.

• 39:15Conan O'Brien?

  I love that. Um, and he's art even logical. How can you be a Vulcan who's like, well, that is, I mean, I'm not, it's, I'm just curious how it all comes together.

• 39:25Speaker 02

  Uh, it comes together of, I have to play it of all of my, the way that I usually am passionate about something like a movie or something. But what if I have to, I am forced by my biology to always filter it through this calm logic and what would that feel like? So it's always this like kind of bubbling underneath and you can see him wanting to, you know, kind of pop up a little bit and be, but he's like, no, that's not, that's not what Vulcans do. That's, I'm not capable of doing that, even though I'm feeling it.

• 39:53Conan O'Brien?

  Does he wake and bake? Is he?

• 39:57Conan O'Brien?

  He's constantly, still very logical.

• 40:00Speaker 02

  I'm going to require a couple of days of bed rotting. You know, like, I don't really know what, what a Vulcan artist would do like that. Yeah. Well, how would he? I am not feeling this, which is strange because I should not be ruled by my feelings and yet there is not. Oh, I never thought of it. Well, you know what? I'm doing some more episodes, so maybe they'll go into that.

• 40:20Conan O'Brien?

  Just talk to them about that.

• 40:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, exactly.

• 40:22Conan O'Brien?

  You know, it's, it's a possibility. I'm, there's another obsession I've had and my head writer, Mike Sweeney has it as well. We're both obsessed with the show that ran pretty much at the same time as Star Trek called Lost in Space.

• 40:35Speaker 02

  Oh, oh boy.

• 40:36Conan O'Brien?

  Lost in Space is insane. And when you, when you watch Star Trek, it is, it looks like the most, the highest art possible. When you compare it to Lost in Space.

• 40:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:49Conan O'Brien?

  And there are these clips on, that you can watch on YouTube of, and, and the character to keep your eye on is Dr. Smith. Dr. Zachary Smith.

• 40:58Speaker 02

  For many reasons.

• 40:59Conan O'Brien?

  For many reasons. He's played by Jonathan Harris. He doesn't just chew scenery. He inhales it into his lungs and, and then shits it out. It is amazing.

• 41:08Speaker 02

  Truly incredible.

• 41:10Conan O'Brien?

  And the storylines, I think everyone was on acid who wrote this TV show, but my, the other day I happened on one where. An alien ray turns Dr. Smith into a hippie. And he's got long hippie hair and he's dancing. And of course, you know, you're like, and, and there, there's a crazy, wacky, cause they're, the, clearly the show is trying to get down with the scene.

• 41:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's, it's, it's a bunch of 51 year old writers, probably at a Renmar or Warner Brothers, like, see this in the paper, can we work this into the, work this in an episode, the hippie thing?

• 41:43Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 41:43Speaker 02

  It'd right, but how, but how would there be hippies in space? I, a ray?

• 41:47Conan O'Brien?

  Just start with a ray? No, everything's just a ray.

• 41:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:50Conan O'Brien?

  And then, and then they would, they would clearly, to come up with ideas, go to the prop shop at Warner Brothers or wherever, and they'd say, hey, I just found a giant Cleopatra, you know, uniform. Okay, um, there's a big puff of smoke and a Cleopatra alien shows up. And she has a ray that turns them all into mummies.

• 42:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:13Conan O'Brien?

  Like, they just worked backwards from the costumes that were available.

• 42:18Speaker 02

  What's available.

• 42:19Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 42:19Speaker 02

  There, somebody pointed out, there's a, there's an episode of The Outer Limits, uh, that is, was, was the basis of the movie, The Terminator, that's written by Harlan Ellison, called Soldier. And there's a helmet that this future soldier wears in his future soldier battles. And that helmet is the helmet that Robin Williams wears in the opening episode of Mork and Mindy, when he comes to Earth.

• 42:39Conan O'Brien?

  Same one.

• 42:39Speaker 02

  Again, it's same one, but they were just like, we need, like Gary Marshall, he should wear some kinda outer space, what's, can we use this? Like, they're just in the, like you said, they're in the warehouse, they put the, that's his alien thing.

• 42:52Speaker 05

  That's like the famous guy in Empire Strikes Back, evacuating Cloud City, is carrying the space, uh, equipment, but it's actually an ice cream maker.

• 43:02Conan O'Brien?

  You can hear it churning away.

• 43:03Speaker 02

  And they've given him a name and a whole backstory, they've, they've written him into the thing, he's a guy and, and that ice cream maker.

• 43:11Conan O'Brien?

  Was an ice cream maker.

• 43:12Speaker 04

  Someone found out?

• 43:13Speaker 02

  They, they, if you look at it, someone mashed it with, at the time, it was, they just clearly just spray painted it white and go, here.

• 43:18Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 43:19Speaker 02

  But then they worked that prop into the first season of The Mandalorian. It's a thing for transporting like. Biological matter, so they had to work that into the, yeah. So that's what they worked that in.

• 43:31Conan O'Brien?

  You could, I mean, we live in this world that's so, I mean, you know, people decry, oh, the internet era. Are we losing our humanity? Like, yeah, but, think of the connections you can make. You could do an amazing documentary where you, someone could make an amazing documentary where they track a prop that's made in the 1950s. For like a, for like a goofy movie. But then it shows up here, but then it shows up there because people didn't throw stuff away.

• 43:58Speaker 02

  No.

• 43:59Conan O'Brien?

  And it went back into the prop room and.

• 44:02Speaker 02

  I've been in some of the prop warehouses. There's stuff like, oh, if you should shoot this from a different angle, this could work as this.

• 44:09Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 44:10Speaker 02

  But all those, there's a Tom Sharpling who I mentioned earlier, does the best show, does.

• 44:15Conan O'Brien?

  Hilarious, yeah.

• 44:16Speaker 02

  So funny. He did this thing, I, I, I think about it like once a week. And I didn't know this till he pointed out, you know, the show The Munsters?

• 44:23Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, of course, yeah.

• 44:24Speaker 02

  There's 73 episodes of that show. Do you know how many seasons they ran?

• 44:28Conan O'Brien?

  Two?

• 44:28Speaker 02

  Two. Two.

• 44:30Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 44:30Speaker 02

  And they, so they were cranking that thing out and Tom was like, this is a writing session on The Munsters. Have we put Herman in a, like a baby bonnet, holding a rattle yet? All right, write that in. I'm gonna go to Musso and Frank's, have four martinis and a steak and then drunk drive home. I'll see you tomorrow. Like, that is how those shows were. What do we have? What can we use?

• 44:54Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 44:55Speaker 02

  We, we gotta do 38 of these.

• 44:56Conan O'Brien?

  But also, no one was thinking about reruns.

• 44:59Speaker 02

  No.

• 44:59Conan O'Brien?

  No one was thinking about this being a body of work.

• 45:02Speaker 02

  Boxed set?

• 45:03Conan O'Brien?

  Or box set. No one's thinking about that. Everyone's thinking, get this thing done, get it out, and then let's do another one. Let's get our check. And then we'll go to Musso and Frank's and drink at 1 o'clock in the afternoon. Oh, and there's Jack Webb at the next table and he's completely smashed.

• 45:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, and he's six martinis ahead.

• 45:21Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. But you look at these shows and you just see they weren't afraid to use all the same plots.

• 45:27Speaker 02

  Nope.

• 45:28Conan O'Brien?

  There's an old-

• 45:29Speaker 02

  Same actors.

• 45:29Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 45:30Speaker 02

  Over and over.

• 45:30Conan O'Brien?

  And, and the same, the, the plots over and over and over again.

• 45:33Speaker 05

  Same actors within the same show, different characters all the time.

• 45:36Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, and one thing they did was, I don't know how many times when I was a kid growing up, watching different TV sitcoms-

• 45:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 45:43Conan O'Brien?

  And reruns, I'd see the two people have a fight, so it's like the skipper in Gilligan on Gilligan's Island have an argument. So they paint a line down the middle of the, of the hut, and then it's, "You stay on your side, I'll stay on mine." But your side has the, has the door, then you'll have to use the window, you know, but your side, my side has the food. Well, then you could, you know, it's, and, and then you'd watch the monsters and, and grandpa and Herman have a fight, and they paint a line down the middle of the room. And, and then you watch the monkeys and they do it, and you're just like, no one had any shame about, number seventeen! Yeah. Let's crank it up for this week.

• 46:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, let's do a number nine on them. Hey, we gotta get, listen, I gotta get my martinis, it's, it's twelve thirty.

• 46:25Conan O'Brien?

  And it always was a white line, too, that even down to that detail.

• 46:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:30Conan O'Brien?

  And, you know, yeah.

• 46:31Speaker 02

  That, that kind of stuff is, and also they, they didn't understand, well, they didn't, because no one could predict it. YouTube, freeze frame, you know, being able to capture little moments where like, oh my god, look at this in the background. You know, there, there's an episode of that, that show, The Naked City.

• 46:45Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, yeah.

• 46:46Speaker 02

  Uh, which was shot just handheld in New York in the early sixties, which now, it's so valuable because, A, it's all this stuff in New York that doesn't exist anymore that they just casually filmed. And also, it's all the first roles, people like Dustin Hoffman and Robert Duvall, and they're all in this, it's, it's like day players. Um, but there's a, there's an episode with Burgess Meredith where he plays a Greenwich Village poet, who wakes up drunk and there's been a murder and he doesn't know, um, and he stops at a newsstand to look at the paper like, what day is it? And behind him on the newsstand is copies of Amazing Fantasy number fifteen, which is the first appearance of Spider-Man.

• 47:22Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, wow.

• 47:22Speaker 02

  Oh, my god. And anyone, and there's like-

• 47:25Conan O'Brien?

  And the prop person just put those up.

• 47:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, or they went to that news, like, can we just film here? Fine. Done, and then just walked, and, and you know when the, the, the comics came the next week, the guy was like, well, these didn't sell. Boom. Like, that's like, that's millions of dollars of props just hanging there in the background.

• 47:47Conan O'Brien?

  You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?

• 47:50Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 47:50Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen, you know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.

• 48:05Speaker 06

  Nice.

• 48:05Conan O'Brien?

  Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.

• 48:13Speaker 06

  I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.

• 48:18Conan O'Brien?

  I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5 N, which I love. Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid's fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?

• 48:37Speaker 06

  Hello!

• 48:38Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid, yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space. With available, I have this memorized, H-Track all-wheel drive up to an EPA-estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty. It's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality, innovation, technology, and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View US News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details.

• 49:09Speaker 07

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• 50:00Conan O'Brien?

  No one used to think there would ever be freeze frame available. So they, and, and more in line with what we were saying, which is people were just cranking the stuff out and moving on. No one ever thought that there'd be whole cults of people that love to hate watch and then have the power of freeze frame. So recently, I think Matt O'Brien and I, or Sweeney and I, were watching one of the Death Wish movies with Charles Bronson. And there's a scene where Charles Bronson wants to kill these guys in a restaurant. And it's the most insane plot. He comes in pretending to be a wine salesman. He takes out, I'm not kidding. He takes out, you know, he should just go in there with a gun and kill the people who are sitting in a booth. That's what he does in every other scene. Right.

• 50:43Conan O'Brien?

  This one, he comes in, pretends to be a wine salesman, and he's, he goes over to their table and says, "Hey, I got this wine here. You might like it. It's a good wine." And they're like, "Huh, well, we're okay." And he goes, "I spoke it like a true wine expert."

• 50:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly. And he goes, "Hey, it's red. You ever see red wine?

• 50:59Conan O'Brien?

  You ever see red? But you didn't think that."

• 51:01Speaker 02

  Wanna see something new?

• 51:02Conan O'Brien?

  If you're red. It's wet and it's red. And it's wet on your mouth. You can sip it. And he, um, he says, he, I think he opens the bottle and he sets it down in front of them. And then he gets real nervous and a guy says, who's sitting at the table with the other mob figure, says, "Hey, don't I know you?" And he goes, "I don't think so. I gotta go." And he's trying to get away because clearly something's up with this bottle of wine. And the guy goes, "I think I know you." And, um, and then Charles Bronson squirms away and basically he runs off and runs into the kitchen of the restaurant, covers his ears like Wile E. Coyote, and there's a huge explosion. You cut back to the table, there's a huge explosion. Freeze frame. You have freeze frame now. So what they did was...

• 51:45Speaker 02

  Yay. Here we go.

• 51:48Conan O'Brien?

  They cut to Charles Bronson running away and going to the kitchen, putting his hands over his ears. They cut back to the table. They replace the mobsters with mannequins.

• 51:57Speaker 06

  Oh, boy.

• 51:58Conan O'Brien?

  And put them in the same suits. It looks terrible and it's just two frames, but you can freeze on it. And some of these guys are mannequins. And then I guess they try to re- Explosion, but it didn't work, so they just did. One of those things where they made smoke go in front of the, the film. Oh my god. Awful way. No. So you see these guys freeze right. And then a cloud. And you're like, they were just trying to get through the day. And I'm watching it over and over, you have it? Yeah. Over and over and over again, and I'm just overjoyed. Do you want to see the whole clip or just the mannequins?

• 52:33Speaker 05

  I want to see it all. I can edit it down, let's see.

• 52:35Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, edit it down, go ahead, let it roll. Let's have some fun.

• 52:38Speaker 02

  Watch the whole thing. Oh Chuck.

• 52:40Conan O'Brien?

  To the beginning, to the beginning.

• 52:40Speaker 02

  By the way, when they rigged.

• 52:42Conan O'Brien?

  It's only a minute thirty. You got to put headphones on.

• 52:43Speaker 02

  What a minute thirty, oh. When they rigged this explosion, uh, Charles had already left.

• 52:48Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 52:48Speaker 02

  Like, Mr. Bronson's already left, just do this, he's not here anymore.

• 52:51Conan O'Brien?

  He starts by convincing him that he's really, he's got a good wine.

• 52:55Speaker 05

  This is late Death Wish, you can tell by his costume too.

• 52:58Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 52:58Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 52:59Speaker 04

  Not bad. Let's see what your customers say. Uh, no, I don't think that's a good idea. They'll love it.

• 53:05Speaker 02

  Uh, I'm just gonna randomly pour liquor for a year.

• 53:08Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. I'm a guy off the street.

• 53:11Speaker 04

  Lucky day today, bottle of wine on the house.

• 53:13Speaker 01

  Hey, not bad. Hey, don't I know you from someplace?

• 53:17Speaker 04

  I don't think so.

• 53:20Speaker 05

  Is that Danny Trejo?

• 53:20Conan O'Brien?

  It's Danny Trejo.

• 53:21Speaker 02

  Whoa!

• 53:22Speaker 01

  I know your face, did you ever live in San Francisco?

• 53:25Speaker 04

  I'm from Idaho.

• 53:26Speaker 01

  I got a brother in Idaho. What city?

• 53:28Speaker 02

  I'm from Idaho.

• 53:29Speaker 01

  Boise?

• 53:30Speaker 02

  I'm thinking of opening up a donut place.

• 53:31Speaker 01

  I know you, I never.

• 53:35Conan O'Brien?

  Look!

• 53:38Conan O'Brien?

  Oh wait, you gotta go back and freeze. Oh my god. Go back and freeze. Okay. Ah! Oh my god! Oh wow!

• 53:46Speaker 05

  Looks like a ride at Knott's Berry Farm.

• 53:50Conan O'Brien?

  Oh my. Isn't that great?

• 53:54Conan O'Brien?

  Why? Why?

• 53:56Speaker 05

  You know, the sunglasses guy's not so bad, but the Danny Trejo guy.

• 54:00Speaker 02

  Danny Trejo, they did not. I mean.

• 54:03Conan O'Brien?

  That is, isn't that one of the great?

• 54:05Speaker 02

  You wanna put a mustache on this Gregory Peck mannequin? We have is close enough, I don't know what to tell you.

• 54:10Speaker 05

  Look at the stains on the ceiling of this place.

• 54:13Conan O'Brien?

  I just.

• 54:15Conan O'Brien?

  I just, but here's the thing. I always say there's good and bad in everything. And when people decry this new era we're in, I think of the joy that I have had on YouTube.

• 54:26Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 54:27Conan O'Brien?

  Being able to freeze frame. People just trying to get through the day. Or they're making this TV show in the 60s. They're doing the best they can. They don't think anyone's ever gonna look at it.

• 54:39Speaker 02

  It'll air once, who's gonna watch it again? Why would you? They're never gonna, wait a minute, someone's gonna, there's gonna be a thing called DVDs. They're gonna collect every episode and put it in a box. That doesn't make sense. Who would do that?

• 54:49Conan O'Brien?

  It's gonna be on a cloud, anyone can see it anytime. And people are gonna have radio shows where they criticize it over and over and over again?

• 54:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, people are gonna have, hang on. A redheaded giant's gonna freeze frame this? Him, he's gonna, he's gonna sit with a hobbit and they're gonna laugh at our work? That doesn't make sense. It'll never happen. You're in, you're in La La Land. We'll be right back with more Redhead a Giant and Hobbit.

• 55:17Conan O'Brien?

  Talk to me about tea and scotch. This is, you've done, is this your 10th?

• 55:21Speaker 02

  11th.

• 55:22Conan O'Brien?

  11th?

• 55:22Speaker 02

  This is my 11th.

• 55:23Conan O'Brien?

  But who's counting?

• 55:24Speaker 02

  Well, I mean, that's, I didn't even realize it was my 11th till we were, they were putting together all the promo materials and went, I was like, this is my 11th. So that's, yeah, that's a, and I mean, at this point now, I'm not trying to think in terms of, I think that like posterity, reputation and cool are just traps. That get, get in the way of you doing the work you're supposed to be doing. It's other people that, that short out your legacy later, do the work now.

• 55:49Conan O'Brien?

  100%, yeah.

• 55:50Speaker 02

  And it, but it took me a little while. I was getting in my own head about stuff. And now I'm just like, no, I get to do comedy and people wanna come see me and I get to do venues that I really love. And this is me at a very, very small club. I did a club, it's in Madison called Comedy on Main, Comedy on State, a couple of years ago. And it was, I hadn't done a club in like years. And they're like, hey, I was getting ready for doing another special. They went, why don't you do this little club to get ready? And. The show was so electric, the audience is right there. And I was like, how do I shoot something in this space small? So that's what I did. I directed it. We set up the, you can see the other cameras, the lights. Like, I wanted it to look raw. I wanted it to be,

• 56:34Speaker 02

  I just, and I don't fault anyone being in big theaters and arenas, that's fine, but there's some, I just don't, it's like some rock and roll, it, when it gets too gigantic, it kind of loses the-

• 56:46Conan O'Brien?

  No, I've had the same thought many times, that that's why some music just sounds amazing in a small club.

• 56:53Speaker 02

  Oh, man.

• 56:53Conan O'Brien?

  It's why some food, just, I don't know what it is, but it tastes better when it's a small restaurant.

• 57:00Speaker 02

  Or a stand that you've grabbed, and now you're walking around, like, you're just right there.

• 57:03Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. I had a small studio for the late night show. Six A was a very small studio, and I remembered seeing it for the first time and thinking, this is too small. We need something bigger, because we're gonna have two crazy ideas. We're gonna have a Triumph the Comic Dog, and we're gonna have, you know, uh, you know, all these crazy characters, and we're gonna do this big stuff. It turned out it was such a blessing to have this small space. And I think that's something that's, I now don't take for, I don't take it for granted. I think it's really good for comedy.

• 57:29Speaker 02

  But also, something like this is, even in that, even in that small space, you feel that clock ticking till the next commercial break.

• 57:36Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 57:36Speaker 02

  We can get at things that you can't get at on a TV panel segment, because there's no clock ticking. We're gonna talk and talk, and we'll cut out some of the rough spots, but we're actually talking. And there's a whole different, not, you, it's what you always said about SCTV, it's the least needy sketch show ever done. And this format is not needy. And, and doing a, doing this smaller club, there was so less neediness about it, because we're all right here.

• 58:04Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 58:05Speaker 02

  I'm not like, oh, God, I got this big theater, I gotta, I gotta make this count. This is like, we're doing a few shows, this little club, I can be loose.

• 58:12Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 58:12Speaker 02

  And- What I'm learning, especially from, I don't know if you've seen Josh Johnson, right?

• 58:17Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 58:18Speaker 02

  Incredible. The turnover now is so much quicker. I can shoot this stuff, get it up on, I'm on a new platform called 800 Pound Gorilla.

• 58:27Conan O'Brien?

  Heard it, yeah.

• 58:27Speaker 02

  Gorilla, Gorilla Comedy Plus, and, um, and get it up on YouTube so much quicker and be so much more immediate. And so that feels like, oh, one less gatekeeper.

• 58:39Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 58:39Speaker 02

  You know, now I can just, and I can set up the next one. Like, once this comes out June 9th, I'll never do that material again. I'm working on the new stuff. And it just keeps me working and there's just so much less pressure.

• 58:53Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 58:53Speaker 02

  It just feels so much better.

• 58:55Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 58:55Speaker 02

  You know?

• 58:55Conan O'Brien?

  The, uh, and the themes you're exploring, are they new themes?

• 58:59Speaker 02

  Well, they're-

• 59:00Conan O'Brien?

  Is there anything new in this that, that, I mean, obviously your stuff is always, it's always fresh material, but is there a, a theme that has surprised you that's come along at this stage in your life?

• 59:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, the thing that has surprised me is I'm becoming way more, and then I was kinda, uh, touching on this a little bit in the last special, uh, We All Scream Too, is that I'm becoming way more comfortable with being overwhelmed and not having an answer to things.

• 59:24Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 59:24Speaker 02

  And I think that comes with, I'm a big believer in, you gotta know when it's time to let the next generation kinda come up and maybe they have the answers that you don't. I think a lot of people white knuckle their youth and they white knuckle their authority and you gotta go, and you can still, I'm gonna do comedy forever. I love doing standup, but there will be this embracing of, this is beyond me. Like, I do a whole thing about AI and the whole point of the bit is, at one point, I'm like, I don't have an ending to this because this is such a massive subject, but that is so much more honest that I'm overwhelmed by the horror of this. And I think that's a thing that a lot of comedians are nervous

• 1:00:06Speaker 02

  to embrace, is that you will eventually come to a point where you're like, I don't know what this is, I don't know what is happening.

• 1:00:12Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:13Speaker 02

  This is, you know, I, I did my part, you guys gotta do your part. I'm gonna talk about the weirdness now, off to the sides.

• 1:00:20Conan O'Brien?

  When someone tells me they're not sure, I am immediately attracted to them. I like them and I trust them.

• 1:00:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:28Conan O'Brien?

  When someone tells me I know exactly what's going to happen, uh, and I know all things, I, um, I, I want nothing to do with them. And there's a kind of comedy that I- Never been a big fan of, which is, I know and you don't.

• 1:00:44Speaker 02

  Let me tell you how it is.

• 1:00:46Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:46Speaker 02

  I'm gonna, I'm here to tell you how it is.

• 1:00:48Conan O'Brien?

  I'm here to tell you how it is, and then I've always liked people that admit that they're down in the muck with me. I'm in the muck.

• 1:00:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:55Conan O'Brien?

  We're all in the muck.

• 1:00:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, find, help me find a way out here. It's what we talked about the last time I was on the show, that your, your term wisdom rock.

• 1:01:03Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:03Speaker 02

  You hate wisdom rock. It's that, let me take my hand. No, you're 20. And, and there's a lot of that now in, um, stand-up. I think, uh, Marc Maron said, there's some comedians doing comedy, and there's some comedians holding rallies.

• 1:01:16Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 1:01:16Speaker 02

  And, uh, and that was such a, mm, yes, that's kind of what's going on. And we need to get back to the confidence of someone that can get up there and go, I have no idea.

• 1:01:26Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:26Speaker 02

  I don't know what is going on. Um, maybe we will get to that, but that's, that's where I am, and I'm so much more comfortable being.

• 1:01:34Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:35Speaker 02

  In that, and, and also being able to look back at some of my earlier stuff where I was doing the, tell you guys how it is. Oh, you're 23. That's why you're saying that, cause you know, which is a, that's also kind of real wisdom is when you're like, let me tell you what an idiot I was. I used to say this kind of stuff. Yeah.

• 1:01:54Conan O'Brien?

  If you can laugh at yourself at that period.

• 1:01:56Speaker 02

  Yes, so there's a lot of that, and there's a lot of just very raw, um, there's, there's a lot of, uh,

• 1:02:06Speaker 02

  my, my daughter, it's, it's, it's the, the relationship.

• 1:02:09Conan O'Brien?

  Teenager now, right?

• 1:02:10Speaker 02

  Who's a teenager, and so now it's becoming more about, oh, she's actually right about this and I'm not. And maybe I need to like, okay, you, you figure this out. Um, that, it's also an, an interesting place to get to, where, where it used to be like, oh, here's this goofy thing that my daughter did, and we gotta help guide her. Now it's like, oh, my daughter just explained this thing to me that I didn't understand.

• 1:02:31Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:31Speaker 02

  And just completely laid it out for me. So that's really interesting.

• 1:02:35Conan O'Brien?

  The roles have shifted.

• 1:02:36Speaker 02

  How old are your, um?

• 1:02:38Conan O'Brien?

  During their late 40s.

• 1:02:40Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 1:02:42Conan O'Brien?

  So about to move out? I had my daughter when I was nine.

• 1:02:48Conan O'Brien?

  No, I have a daughter who's 22 and a son is 20 and but you know what? They've been smarter than me for so long and you will attest to that.

• 1:02:55Speaker 06

  Absolutely.

• 1:02:56Conan O'Brien?

  They were when they were kid, little kids and would come by the office.

• 1:02:59Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:02:59Conan O'Brien?

  They were not having my bullshit.

• 1:03:01Speaker 06

  Anything technology related, we'd just be like, ask Beckett. This was when he was like six years old.

• 1:03:06Speaker 02

  The times that I've handed my phone or iPad over to Alice and go, can you please help me? Yeah. Make it do the thing. Make the scream go away. I've handed that thing to her. Oh, boy. Yeah.

• 1:03:20Conan O'Brien?

  Well, Tea and Scotch is coming out. It's gonna be on YouTube. And it's June 9th and I'm really looking forward to it.

• 1:03:28Speaker 02

  Thanks.

• 1:03:29Conan O'Brien?

  You're always funny and delightful. I just gonna end with this. You were on my TV show 44 times.

• 1:03:39Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 1:03:39Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I looked that up today and even the the the computer was upset.

• 1:03:46Speaker 05

  And on this podcast.

• 1:03:47Speaker 02

  That's too many.

• 1:03:48Speaker 05

  As many as anybody, right? On this podcast.

• 1:03:50Conan O'Brien?

  I think you've been this is the fourth time. So, yeah, which doesn't.

• 1:03:53Speaker 06

  But it's always it's always funny. Like when you were on the show on TBS as long as I've been working for Conan. When we knew you were coming on, we knew we were gonna laugh.

• 1:04:03Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:04Speaker 06

  And that it was gonna be just a really good interview.

• 1:04:06Speaker 02

  When I came on to this show, I knew that, yes, we would do pre-interviews. But it was always like, it'll turn into just us going, oh, man, this thing.

• 1:04:14Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah. And that's gonna be better than any. That's gonna be better than anything. That's good. It's the stuff that, you know.

• 1:04:19Speaker 02

  It was dessert. It was like, oh, I can relax a little bit.

• 1:04:21Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:04:21Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:21Speaker 02

  Yeah. So I was always very and I know I speak for a lot of comedians who are like, oh, when you're on Conan, you're just you're actually talking with someone else that understands comedy and is not looking for a gotta get a punchline every 10 seconds. It's.

• 1:04:34Conan O'Brien?

  Right, right.

• 1:04:35Speaker 02

  Hey, we can just chill. Let's talk. And it always ended up being way more funny because of that.

• 1:04:39Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, good. Well, listen, it's it's a mitzvah, a blessing. Anytime you you come by, please come back.

• 1:04:47Conan O'Brien?

  For anything and everything.

• 1:04:48Speaker 02

  My daughter and her friends watch old Conan clips, the NBC show. At like their.

• 1:04:54Conan O'Brien?

  And freeze frame it. Look, Conan's a mannequin.

• 1:04:59Speaker 06

  He doesn't even try to hide that stuff, though.

• 1:05:02Speaker 02

  No, you embrace.

• 1:05:04Conan O'Brien?

  I would embrace it.

• 1:05:04Speaker 02

  You embrace it the same way that like SCTV were like, we don't have any money. Look at this.

• 1:05:08Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:09Speaker 02

  But I just love the way that they will react to like whenever um they I showed her Artie Kendall, the singing ghost.

• 1:05:16Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, yeah.

• 1:05:16Speaker 02

  And her whole thing was like, he just makes it worse and worse. Like every time he's like, well, let me do this one for the lady. And then it's 10 times where like they just love that it just never lets up.

• 1:05:26Conan O'Brien?

  Brian Stack is a crooner ghost who would come on the show and he was a ghost and then he would sing. Because he died in the 30s, he would sing songs that were sexist, racist, you know, all this stuff.

• 1:05:37Speaker 02

  And also that he thinks are like, you're welcome. Here's a nice little song. And it's always the worst thing you've ever heard.

• 1:05:43Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, I got a little Conan, I got a little something about the Irish. Ooh, Irish love to, Irish love to drink and all this stuff that's not appropriate anymore. And then I remember, I think in one episode I said, I'm surprised people stood for this. And he went, well, they didn't. I was killed by a ma.

• 1:05:59Speaker 02

  That's how he talks. I'm sorry, I've watched it. So you go, I'm surprised you weren't murdered. He goes, I was murdered. A bunch of women threw me down a well. And then you're like, well, good. He goes, hey, you have a hot Irish temper. I wrote a little song about the Irish. And then it's the worst thing.

• 1:06:14Conan O'Brien?

  Well.

• 1:06:14Speaker 02

  You've ever and and all but like that stuff of, by the way, and I remember I watched the very first Artie Kendall sketch. I was in a hotel room in New York. I watched it's it's the one, the very first one where you don't let him finish his third song because you're just like, no, we're cutting away. And I had to rewatch it to to say that um I else it's about the the Irish. Irish people's brains are made of corn.

• 1:06:38Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:39Speaker 02

  And um and I and I texted Brian Stack. I was like, I am laughing so hard at this guy already kind of plea and now there's like collections on. It's like YouTube is like this mini Criterion collection.

• 1:06:51Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:51Speaker 02

  Of great comedy sketches now.

• 1:06:52Conan O'Brien?

  No, I I just uh always love. Well, shout out to Brian Stack and shout out to and also my favorite conceit is that. I was always supposed to be the the host who would, but I would entertain all our sketches were me saying, okay, we'll be, what's that, sir? Yes, I'm a beekeeper. And I'd be like, well, uh, okay, you can have like, I in no way. Say no, this is a show. I'm always saying, ah, well. Okay, what are your nine rules for living forever? Mummy from the future?

• 1:07:25Speaker 02

  All right, guys who came in off the street.

• 1:07:28Conan O'Brien?

  I'm a crazy man off the street. Okay, crazy man, take your 10 minutes.

• 1:07:33Speaker 02

  It's like you're at the bottom of the decision-making ladder on a show that you're hosting.

• 1:07:37Conan O'Brien?

  That I'm hosting, that has my name in it. Patton Oswalt, we salute you, we love you. Come on back 44 times, please.

• 1:07:44Speaker 02

  Oh, I will. Thank you.

• 1:07:48Speaker 05

  Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

• 1:08:08Speaker 05

  Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnik. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm.com/conan. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

• 1:08:56Speaker 00

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