2024 Memorable Moments: Conan, Sona, and Matt

Sona and Matt look back at a collection of this year's most memorable moments from Conan's intros, outros, and ad reads on a special Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com. Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: (669) 587-2847.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:02Conan O'Brien?

  Now Sona, clearly I'm a very important person to you.

• 0:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:05Conan O'Brien?

  Just accept the premise and we'll move ahead.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 0:08Conan O'Brien?

  I'm a very important person to you. What would you get me from Macy's for the holidays?

• 0:13Speaker 01

  A vase.

• 0:15Conan O'Brien?

  No, I don't want a vase. I want something better.

• 0:17Speaker 01

  A jacket.

• 0:19Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, nice jacket. I love a nice jacket.

• 0:20Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, that jacket. Nice jacket.

• 0:21Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, so now you have to do it, because you said you would.

• 0:23Speaker 01

  Aw man, I didn't know you were doing that.

• 0:25Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I know the holidays are months away, but it's never too early, Sona, to find gifts that I will love, gifts I will wear, and surprises that make the season unforgettable for me.

• 0:37Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 0:37Conan O'Brien?

  Macy's Gift Guide makes holiday shopping easy with beauty favorites, stylish fashion, jewelry, cozy essentials, must-have toys, home upgrades, and picks for every person on your list. Coach handbags, Breville appliances, Lego UG, and more, all in one place so you can skip the scrolling and shop with confidence. Shop now in-store or online at macy's.com/giftguide.

• 0:59Speaker 02

  Grainger knows if you're a procurement manager at an industrial manufacturing facility, you're balancing inventory and budget while sourcing critical supplies across the operation. Too much inventory? Costs climb. Too little? Production slows. Grainger's $2 billion in on-hand inventory helps you get what you need when you need it, so you can help keep budgets balanced and lines moving. Call 1-800-GRAINGER, click Grainger.com, or just stop by. Grainger, for the ones who get it done.

• 1:52Speaker 01

  Hello and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.

• 1:55Speaker 03

  That was very official sounding.

• 1:57Speaker 01

  I know. I was trying to do, I was trying to channel Conan, who is not here today.

• 2:02Speaker 03

  That's right. Sona Ossessian has moved from second chair to first.

• 2:05Speaker 01

  I would move?

• 2:06Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 2:06Speaker 01

  You would move.

• 2:07Speaker 03

  What are you talking about?

• 2:08Speaker 01

  No, no, no. If, if, if he left, which he is not here, you would take over as like the guy.

• 2:15Speaker 03

  No, absolutely not.

• 2:16Speaker 01

  Yes, well, yes, okay. But anyway.

• 2:19Speaker 03

  It's not why we're here.

• 2:19Speaker 01

  Conan is not here because sadly, last week, his mom and his dad both passed away within days of each other. His dad, Dr. Thomas O'Brien, was 95. Conan was actually shooting overseas for his Max show. He came back to Brookline and then while he was there, his mom, Ruth Reardon O'Brien, died at 92. And today is actually her birthday.

• 2:42Speaker 03

  I didn't know that. No kidding.

• 2:44Speaker 01

  Yes, today is her birthday. And so you never got a chance to meet his parents.

• 2:48Speaker 03

  I never did, no.

• 2:49Speaker 01

  No, I, so, you know, I, I worked for him for a very long time. And his parents were very impressive, very remarkable people. In, in their fields, they were celebrities in their own right. His dad was a microbiologist. He retired at 90. And I'm hoping Conan will also retire at 90.

• 3:08Speaker 03

  Really? I think he's gone too far already.

• 3:10Speaker 01

  You do?

• 3:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:12Speaker 01

  No, I want to ride those coattails until the very end, don't you?

• 3:16Speaker 03

  Yes, of course.

• 3:16Speaker 01

  Just like wheeling in a, a decrepit Conan?

• 3:21Speaker 01

  To this studio? This is terrible. I'm so sorry. I'm like sweating because I'm, I have to talk about serious stuff. But, um, but yeah, his dad is a legend in his field. And his mother was actually one of the first graduates of Yale Law School. And she became a partner at her law firm when she had five kids.

• 3:39Speaker 03

  And like the second female to do so, right?

• 3:41Speaker 01

  Second female to do so. I mean, she was practicing law when there were like dining halls that women weren't allowed into. And so she would sit outside these dining halls and men would be inside. And she'd be sitting on her own little table outside. And she was like a partner in the, at the law firm. So it was like, they're just incredible people. It's a huge loss. Um, so Conan's with his family, all 800 of them.

• 4:02Speaker 03

  And he mentioned to us that he wanted us to do this and to set up the context as to why he's not here.

• 4:08Speaker 01

  Right.

• 4:09Speaker 03

  And be transparent about it, that he's with his family. And so we've cobbled together some of our favorite moments of the last year. So this first episode will be from the intros and segments, which you, Conan, and I do together. And then next week, there'll be an episode of some of our favorite moments from the various guests that have been on the show in 2024.

• 4:29Speaker 01

  Okay. I mean, I'm acting like I don't know what you're saying.

• 4:32Speaker 03

  You are.

• 4:32Speaker 01

  But we had a whole conversation before.

• 4:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, so why are you doing that?

• 4:35Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 4:36Speaker 03

  You're thrown by having to be serious on Sirius XM. It's in the name.

• 4:41Speaker 01

  I know, I know, but it is a really sad thing. I mean, I've, you know, over the time working for Conan, I really got to know all of his family, all his siblings, his parents. They were always really nice. It's just a really hard thing to talk about. And I think that it's beautiful that they passed away within days of each other.

• 5:00Speaker 03

  It really is. It's, it's strikingly poignant in a way.

• 5:03Speaker 01

  I know, I know.

• 5:04Speaker 03

  And, you know, like you said, I haven't met his parents. He wouldn't allow that.

• 5:07Speaker 01

  He kept you away.

• 5:10Speaker 03

  We have been thinking about him a ton. And I saw my extended family and everybody yesterday at my extended family, people who he's never met, and he's met some of my extended family, was like, please tell him I'm thinking about him. Anyway.

• 5:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:22Speaker 03

  We are thinking about you, boss.

• 5:24Speaker 01

  Yes, yes, we are, we are. It's, it's a really hard time for him, but, you know, he's still Conan. He made fun of me this morning, so I think he's doing okay.

• 5:33Speaker 03

  I think his exact words were, the show must go on, but you guys have to do it.

• 5:37Speaker 01

  What a dick. We could still call him a dick.

• 5:42Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, it doesn't change.

• 5:43Speaker 01

  Even though he's not here.

• 5:44Speaker 03

  No, none of this changes that he's still a dick.

• 5:47Speaker 01

  A grieving dick is still a dick.

• 5:49Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 5:50Speaker 01

  Yeah. I think that that's okay.

• 5:52Speaker 03

  A grieving dick is still a dick.

• 5:56Speaker 03

  Wiser words.

• 5:57Speaker 01

  Yes, and that's why I'll be delivering the eulogies. Oh my God, what am I doing?

• 6:03Speaker 03

  I can cut this.

• 6:03Speaker 01

  Why can't I do this normally?

• 6:05Speaker 03

  You can. In the end, it'll, it'll sound fine.

• 6:08Speaker 01

  Okay, all right, okay.

• 6:09Speaker 03

  Okay, so let's move on to our first clip. I think an all-timer, not just for 2024.

• 6:14Speaker 01

  Oh my God, this is one of my favorite things that ever happened to me.

• 6:17Speaker 03

  I agree. It's Conan makes a stranger take a selfie with him.

• 6:22Speaker 04

  I will say I have watched this with, over and over again, like once a week, I'll just go back and watch it.

• 6:27Speaker 03

  The schadenfreude that you love, with the feeling of Conan's, like, desirous ego being quashed.

• 6:34Speaker 04

  Story. It's told perfectly. It's so funny. It has payoff. It's just great.

• 6:39Speaker 03

  Okay, let's roll it.

• 6:45Conan O'Brien?

  I have a tale to tell, and it's an embarrassing tale, and I think these are the ones you guys like.

• 6:50Speaker 01

  These are our favorites.

• 6:51Conan O'Brien?

  This is a true story. I just flew in from Boston. I was seeing my family there. And I, you know, I check out my family. I check out my family. Hey, you guys are looking. Hey, Mom, Dad, you guys are looking good.

• 7:06Speaker 03

  Sexy nuclear unit.

• 7:09Conan O'Brien?

  No, I was checking in on my family and seeing my, my, my fam, my sibs. And then I go to Logan Airport, and I'm going to take the flight from Boston to Los Angeles. And I am in the line, you know, you wait in the line to hand your stuff over, put it on the conveyor belt. So you're a little distracted, but I'm, you know, taking my belt off. They always say you can leave your belt on, but it always sets it off. So now I take everything off. I'm pretty much naked when I go through that thing.

• 7:40Speaker 01

  No.

• 7:41Conan O'Brien?

  But I'm taking everything off. I'm putting it down into this bucket. And this very nice kid who's wearing a white sweater and he has glasses and dark hair. And he says, oh, hi, Conan, and he could not have been nicer. He said, um, your show means a lot to me, or your TV show meant a lot to me. Uh, I've listened to Conan O'Brien, uh, needs a friend all the time. He is Armenian. He introduces himself and I think he said his name was Armon. He could not have been nicer and he was talking about, he was very beautifully talking about what, what the work has meant to him and all that. And I just had like the nicest conversation with him and he was kind of holding his phone, but we were just about to go through whatever, the X-ray machine. And so he had to put his phone in and I was kind of thinking, I think he wanted to do

• 8:26Conan O'Brien?

  a photo, but he didn't. Okay.

• 8:27Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 8:27Conan O'Brien?

  Hold on, but anyway, we go through and I'm thinking, that guy was so nice. So then they, they want to look again at one of my bags. Uh, I think it's, you know, how many men travel with nine bottles of hairspray? So it was suspicious.

• 8:43Conan O'Brien?

  And it's Aquanet, it's for old women. They don't even make it anymore.

• 8:46Speaker 01

  It was like a two day trip.

• 8:48Conan O'Brien?

  It was a day and a half trip. And so, and it's all, not all for my, uh, for my hair, but anyway.

• 8:53Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 8:54Conan O'Brien?

  No, as I'm saying, I inhale that stuff. It's an incredible high. Uh, shout out to Aquanet, but anyway, um, I get through and I get, got some of my stuff and I stand up and standing there, uh, white sweater, glasses, dark hair, uh, this guy, and I walk up to him and say, um, hey, let's do a selfie. And he said, um, okay.

• 9:23Conan O'Brien?

  And he starts to fish around in his luggage for his camera. And I'm thinking, he was just holding his camera and he doesn't seem that interested. And what the fuck? That's weird. I thought I was being super nice because he said all those nice things. And he starts to pick it up and he goes, uh, okay. And I went and look at him and I go, wait a minute. Oh, no. It's not that guy. I just wa- I swear to God, I just. So this guy, who's just a guy who's wearing. And I look over and I see the other guy. Listen to me, I see. Listen to me, I'm not kidding, this, I swear to God, this is all exactly happened. I see the other guy.

• 10:07Conan O'Brien?

  He's wearing a sweater that is practically identical. They look very similar and he's got glasses and I see him standing over at a post, holding his cellphone.

• 10:16Speaker 03

  And he's thinking, why wouldn't he take a selfie with me?

• 10:18Conan O'Brien?

  And I'm looking at this guy and he goes, uh, okay. And he takes a selfie of us. And so look at it from his perspective. He's sitting there waiting for another relative, a girlfriend or whatever, to come through. And Conan O'Brien walks up and goes, hey, let's do a selfie.

• 10:37Speaker 03

  He must have thought you were insane.

• 10:40Conan O'Brien?

  He thought I was fucking insane and so then I start to go, no, no, no. I thought, I thought you were him. And I'm pointing to the other guy. And the other guy isn't even looking at me at that point, he's looking at his phone because he just got a text. And there's no good explanation for why you would walk up to a stranger and say, hey. Hey buddy, let's get a selfie. You're gonna want this. You're gonna want this. So somewhere out there, there's a guy who isn't a fan.

• 11:07Conan O'Brien?

  Doesn't care, maybe actively dislikes what I do. Came up to him and made him take a selfie. And I just, and so then I walk up to the other guy. And I said, I'm sorry, I thought he was you. And the other guy, I'm just, you know, there's no, now he just thinks, oh, so all non-celebrities look alike to you?

• 11:31Speaker 03

  No, I think what happened is there was no first guy and you just got a bad reaction from someone you wanted to take a selfie with. And this first guy is your like Fight Club Tyler Durden guy that gets you to do selfies.

• 11:42Conan O'Brien?

  Nice, nice try, yes, that I see phantom people. No, I loved, it was so perfect and I, I don't have photos, but if I could show you a photo of what both of them were wearing, you would laugh because.

• 11:54Speaker 03

  Somewhere these selfies exist though.

• 11:55Conan O'Brien?

  It's as if. It's as if a higher being, God, said, "This is gonna be really funny." "I'm sending down two people who look somewhat alike." "And they're both, uh, in a, and they're both wearing this very similar sweater." "And, uh, and like dark jeans, so whatever." "That, that happened."

• 12:14Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 12:15Conan O'Brien?

  And I just keep thinking about this guy, just like, "Okay, where's, where's Sarah? I just gotta wait for Sarah to come through." "Hey, hey, let's take a selfie." "What do you, let's do it right now, come on, get the camera out."

• 12:26Speaker 01

  Like, you're doing him a favor.

• 12:28Conan O'Brien?

  Like, "Hey buddy."

• 12:29Speaker 01

  And now I think that shows in you.

• 12:31Conan O'Brien?

  Hey, guess what? Randomly, every hundredth person gets to win the ultimate lottery.

• 12:36Speaker 03

  You think you're about to be selected for improved security? No.

• 12:40Conan O'Brien?

  No, you're getting a selfie with Conan O'Brien. "I'm sorry, and you do what?" Come on! Late night show, nineties, two thousands, NBC, TBS, come on, come on. Podcast, come on, come on, get the camera, let's do it.

• 12:56Speaker 03

  Incredible.

• 12:57Conan O'Brien?

  That's a, that's a, that's just happened, that happened thirty-six hours ago, and I, I, the minute it happened, I said, "These exist, this is why I have the podcast, because this is fresh, this just happened." "Hey buddy, let's do it." "Get the camera out, let's get that selfie."

• 13:15Speaker 01

  I love that you said these two selfies still exist, but that guy probably just deleted it.

• 13:22Speaker 03

  He never took it.

• 13:24Speaker 01

  He was like, "Yeah, oh yeah, I took it."

• 13:26Conan O'Brien?

  There you go. He, and you know what he said? He said, "Click."

• 13:31Conan O'Brien?

  He said, "Click." And I was like, "I didn't think he pushed the phone." And then, I saw him walk up to a trash can and throw his iPhone away. And it was the new one. It's the new one with the funny new cord.

• 13:47Speaker 03

  Oh, man. That is true, that picture is probably out there somewhere.

• 13:52Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 13:53Speaker 03

  If, this person, like, has this never made its way back to that person? I want to see that photo so badly.

• 13:59Speaker 01

  Armon, it's me, it's so.

• 14:04Speaker 01

  He said he's Armenian, maybe he's my cousin or something. But um, yeah, just show us this picture. Wait, no, we don't want his picture. We don't want it with Arma. We want it with the other guy that he like went up to.

• 14:15Conan O'Brien?

  I just love to see it.

• 14:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know, it's awesome. That was one of my favorite stories. Also, very sweet that he was visiting his parents, he said, in the beginning of that clip. And I do have to say, Conan visited his parents constantly. So, I mean, he was always, anytime he was on the East Coast, he stopped by Boston. So, it's sweet that he mentioned.

• 14:33Conan O'Brien?

  He made them do selfies with him as well.

• 14:34Speaker 01

  I know.

• 14:37Conan O'Brien?

  All right, this next segment is called Conan Tries Sona's Lip Gloss.

• 14:42Speaker 01

  We've had a few things with my chapsticks.

• 14:44Conan O'Brien?

  This one is more recent, if it's the one I'm thinking of.

• 14:47Speaker 01

  Is this the one where I was, I like kept reapplying because it was really tasty?

• 14:51Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, and then he basically ate a whole tube of it.

• 14:53Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 14:54Conan O'Brien?

  And I wouldn't touch the stuff.

• 14:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know, I mean, he stuck it in his mouth, I think. And yeah, he, I don't even know where that chapstick is. I actually think I may have thrown it away.

• 15:03Conan O'Brien?

  I think he ate it all.

• 15:05Speaker 01

  Ew, oh god, that's gross.

• 15:12Speaker 01

  I'm a chronic lip moisturizer.

• 15:14Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, what's that all about?

• 15:15Speaker 01

  But the thing is, I got a new one. And I was like, this will be nice, because it's like a tube.

• 15:20Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 15:20Speaker 01

  And then it comes off, and then I, it tastes so good, I keep licking it off.

• 15:24Conan O'Brien?

  So you're basically eating it? You're eating it. Sona! Can I see it? Can I take a look at it? Would you hand it to me?

• 15:30Speaker 03

  And will you say what you called it when she was putting it on?

• 15:32Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, well, she kept putting it on, and I said, what is that? Say something stupid, Sona.

• 15:39Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, because you sure are using it a lot. Uh, Gimme Some Lip, it's called. We're just giving these people a free plug.

• 15:46Speaker 01

  We are.

• 15:46Conan O'Brien?

  Do you mind if I put it on right now? I promise.

• 15:48Speaker 01

  I don't mind, I really don't.

• 15:50Conan O'Brien?

  Sore, I have a sore that appears monthly.

• 15:53Speaker 01

  Ew.

• 15:54Conan O'Brien?

  Well, you knew that.

• 15:54Speaker 01

  Why are you looking at your hand? Are you gonna put on your hand? No, okay, on your lip.

• 15:57Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 15:58Speaker 01

  It tastes good, and also, it doesn't, it doesn't stay on that well. I have other stuff that kind of just like stays on.

• 16:05Conan O'Brien?

  Oh my god, this tastes fantastic.

• 16:07Speaker 01

  That's what I'm saying, I keep eating it. And so, oh!

• 16:12Conan O'Brien?

  This is delicious! I'm not kidding, it's delicious.

• 16:16Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 16:17Speaker 01

  Just keep it, yeah, you gotta keep it now. You have to keep that.

• 16:20Conan O'Brien?

  No, I'll give it back to you.

• 16:21Speaker 03

  It's like he's just sucking on a... Gogurt.

• 16:25Conan O'Brien?

  This is amazing. What's in it?

• 16:27Speaker 03

  Oh, God.

• 16:28Conan O'Brien?

  Do not ingest.

• 16:30Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 16:31Conan O'Brien?

  Now it's 40% less asbestos. This is incredible. This really does. I see now why you keep applying it because it's very delicious. You ever put it on the finger and then use the finger to apply?

• 16:41Speaker 01

  I don't. No, I just go straight from tube to mouth. But, um, but you're putting on a lot. Do you see what I mean?

• 16:48Conan O'Brien?

  You know why I'm putting on a lot? I don't think I've ever moisturized my lips.

• 16:51Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 16:52Conan O'Brien?

  Not once. Have you ever seen me moisturize my lips in all the years you've known me? I, I, do you moisturize your lips?

• 16:57Speaker 03

  I always have a chapstick with me.

• 16:58Conan O'Brien?

  I never do. I don't, Eduardo.

• 17:01Speaker 01

  It's so.

• 17:01Speaker 03

  Never do it.

• 17:02Conan O'Brien?

  It's foreign to me.

• 17:03Speaker 01

  It's just so shiny. Your lips are so shiny right now.

• 17:05Conan O'Brien?

  They should be. That, you know what? Draw attention to the mouth, they always say.

• 17:08Speaker 03

  I've got two chapsticks with me for some reason.

• 17:10Conan O'Brien?

  It's just weird, but why? Am I, I don't, I don't know if I'm doing something wrong, but Eduardo, back me up on this.

• 17:15Speaker 04

  I don't participate in that.

• 17:16Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I don't. I just think, well, we're in the world. We didn't, when we evolved from the great ape. Uh, he did not moisturize his lips.

• 17:26Speaker 03

  So then you don't need to use sunscreen?

• 17:29Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 17:29Conan O'Brien?

  Okay. That's just, that's cruel. That's going after my disability.

• 17:34Speaker 01

  That is, that is, but you're, oh my God, you're putting on so much of it.

• 17:40Speaker 03

  Oh my God, this is disconcerting.

• 17:42Speaker 01

  But you know what the thing is? I, I laugh a lot and I smile a lot.

• 17:45Conan O'Brien?

  See this on video.

• 17:46Speaker 03

  Don't. Don't zoom in, zoom in.

• 17:50Speaker 01

  Skip it.

• 17:50Conan O'Brien?

  Help me. Help me.

• 17:53Speaker 03

  Oh my God, with your like five o'clock shadow.

• 17:56Conan O'Brien?

  I'm over moisturized.

• 17:58Speaker 03

  God.

• 17:59Speaker 01

  Um. You should lube up. It feels good.

• 18:02Conan O'Brien?

  What's that?

• 18:03Speaker 04

  What does it taste like?

• 18:04Conan O'Brien?

  Try it. Go ahead. No, no, no, good. Oh, come on, it's fine. The sore, no, listen. The sore I get erupts once.

• 18:11Speaker 01

  Take it with your fingers.

• 18:13Speaker 03

  Don't even open it.

• 18:13Conan O'Brien?

  Just try it, you coward. Put it on, Eduardo. Come on. Eduardo, I promise you.

• 18:17Speaker 03

  You're all talk, dude. You're all talk. Put it on.

• 18:20Speaker 01

  Don't be a little bitch, Eduardo.

• 18:22Conan O'Brien?

  Just do it.

• 18:23Speaker 03

  Kiss Conan on the mouth? Come on.

• 18:24Conan O'Brien?

  No, Eduardo, I'm telling you, I.

• 18:27Speaker 04

  What do I lick?

• 18:28Conan O'Brien?

  Just lick it.

• 18:29Speaker 01

  It's for your lips.

• 18:30Conan O'Brien?

  Put on your lips, but then lick your lips. Lick your lips.

• 18:32Speaker 01

  I mean, it has a tint.

• 18:33Conan O'Brien?

  Eduardo, lick your lips.

• 18:35Speaker 01

  Good.

• 18:36Speaker 03

  Look at that. What's it taste like?

• 18:38Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 18:40Speaker 03

  I've never used lip balm before.

• 18:42Speaker 04

  I don't know if this is what it normally.

• 18:43Conan O'Brien?

  You know why? This is, this is why Eduardo's never been hired to do an infomercial.

• 18:48Conan O'Brien?

  Try this amazing new product. What do you think, Eduardo?

• 18:50Speaker 04

  Uh, I don't really want to.

• 18:52Conan O'Brien?

  Try it. No, Eduardo, it's the amazing new lip balm. Try it on your lips. I'll just put a tiny bit. But Eduardo, doesn't it feel good? I don't know.

• 19:04Speaker 04

  I didn't say it was bad. I just, you know.

• 19:07Conan O'Brien?

  I didn't say it was bad. Oh, great. You heard it from Eduardo. He didn't say it was bad. Call 1-800-555-2525 and get your not-so-bad lip balm.

• 19:19Conan O'Brien?

  What is your problem? It's delicious.

• 19:21Speaker 01

  It is really good.

• 19:21Conan O'Brien?

  Seriously, you keep it. And don't worry about whatever sores I may have.

• 19:25Speaker 01

  I don't, I'm not, nobody puts it in their mouth. It's like, I don't want it after that.

• 19:29Conan O'Brien?

  Why? What are you afraid of? Be honest.

• 19:31Speaker 01

  I don't want, your saliva is all over it now.

• 19:34Conan O'Brien?

  What do you worry is on my-

• 19:36Speaker 03

  The visual is forever tied to that, too.

• 19:38Speaker 01

  I know. Of you like, rod, like, deep-throating my cactus.

• 19:42Conan O'Brien?

  You say rod-dogging it?

• 19:44Speaker 01

  I said rod-dog, and I was like, that's not the right one. Then I changed it to deep-throating, which is what you were doing with this.

• 19:50Conan O'Brien?

  I didn't deep-throat it. I know what deep-throating is.

• 19:52Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 19:52Speaker 03

  Well, you definitely fellated it.

• 19:58Speaker 01

  You blew my chat.

• 20:00Conan O'Brien?

  I have never, ever fellated a penis that small. That I promise you. That's the Conan guarantee.

• 20:08Speaker 03

  With the lip gloss.

• 20:11Conan O'Brien?

  You heard it here.

• 20:12Speaker 03

  Oh, God.

• 20:13Conan O'Brien?

  I've never fellated a penis that small.

• 20:19Speaker 03

  Oh, God.

• 20:20Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 20:20Speaker 03

  And then we've come to find out, he did tell us after the recording, he has.

• 20:24Speaker 01

  He has, he has.

• 20:24Speaker 03

  That was not true.

• 20:26Speaker 01

  That had a, what did you, he's like, I don't participate in that. That made me laugh.

• 20:31Speaker 03

  What listeners would have never seen is that Adam's in the background, too, having never even been asked at this point whether he wants to try it, just shaking his head going, no.

• 20:40Speaker 04

  They made the rounds. I didn't even have to-

• 20:42Speaker 03

  By then, especially getting it as a fourth person.

• 20:44Speaker 01

  It did make the rounds.

• 20:45Speaker 04

  Conan's whole mouth was on that thing. I didn't, I didn't hear it.

• 20:48Speaker 03

  You and you have French kissed Conan over-

• 20:53Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 20:54Speaker 04

  Was it last year that he asked Julia Louis-Dreyfus to put on her lipstick?

• 20:59Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 20:59Speaker 04

  There's something-

• 21:00Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 21:00Speaker 03

  Something going on.

• 21:01Speaker 01

  Well, and he did- That remote in Texas when he was doing, was it Mary Kay? Where he put makeup, there's this insane image of him. And I think I've seen it in a gif, like someone's probably sent it to me. Where he looks like a crazy person peering through a window. And he's got like lipstick all over his face, right? Am I wrong?

• 21:20Speaker 05

  You're absolutely right.

• 21:21Speaker 01

  Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 21:22Speaker 05

  And it haunts my dreams every night.

• 21:24Speaker 03

  I didn't even know the context of that. I've just seen that picture and it is harrowing.

• 21:28Speaker 01

  You should watch that remote he did. Where he meets with women who sell Mary Kay products. And it's, it's really, really funny.

• 21:36Speaker 03

  We don't even really talk about it on this show, but I've always been a Conan fan. And I've seen most of, if not all of these remotes at some time or another.

• 21:43Speaker 01

  Yes, yeah, yeah. His remotes, I think, are pretty legendary. And, you know, that one is a really funny one.

• 21:49Speaker 03

  I also, this has never come up on the show. I submitted a packet to be a writer on his show.

• 21:54Speaker 01

  You did?

• 21:55Speaker 03

  Cause I knew Todd Levin and he asked me.

• 21:57Speaker 01

  You're kidding?

• 21:57Speaker 03

  We've never talked about it on the show.

• 21:59Speaker 01

  Girls, you would have been a really good writer on that, on the show. Cause you just have like such a similar sensibility.

• 22:04Speaker 03

  Well, I didn't get hired, so I don't.

• 22:07Speaker 01

  You know what? Sweeney's here. We should just ask him why he never hired you.

• 22:10Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Let's, let's go straight to the source.

• 22:20Conan O'Brien?

  You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?

• 22:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, I love awards.

• 22:23Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen, you know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.

• 22:37Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 22:38Conan O'Brien?

  Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.

• 22:46Speaker 01

  I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.

• 22:51Conan O'Brien?

  I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5N, which I love. Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid's fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?

• 23:10Speaker 01

  Hello?

• 23:11Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid, yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space with available, I had this memorized, H-Track all-wheel drive, up to an EPA estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty. It's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality, innovation, technology, and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View U.S. News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details. Your name represents everything you've built, okay? Everything. Like, I feel that way about my name.

• 23:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:50Conan O'Brien?

  It stands for all of the work, good and not so good in my life. But guess what? Your children's names represent their whole futures.

• 23:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:59Conan O'Brien?

  Your children haven't even started building their futures, but their identities are already valuable. Your child's clean credit history can make them a target for identity thieves. Never thought of it that way, but it's true. Identity thieves can open loans and credit cards using your child's social security number, racking up debt and ruining their credit, and you may not notice until they try and get their first credit card. So it could be a long time.

• 24:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:21Conan O'Brien?

  Well, guess what? With LifeLock, you can add family members to your plan, giving you the power to block identity threats targeting your children. Now, Sonya, your kids are pretty young still.

• 24:30Speaker 01

  They are.

• 24:30Conan O'Brien?

  Five, but within a couple of years, you know, they're gonna be buying heavy machinery online.

• 24:36Speaker 01

  What?

• 24:37Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna be, become tractor fanatics. They're gonna be buying tractors online. So if you have expenses or money stolen due to identity theft, you're backed by the million-dollar protection package with up to $3 million coverage in some plans. So join now, save up to 30% off your first year. Go to lifelock.com/conan. That's lifelock.com/conan to save 30%. Terms apply. Who do you shop for first on the holidays, Sonya? Was it, do you shop for the kids or do you shop for Tac?

• 25:04Speaker 01

  My kids.

• 25:05Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 25:05Speaker 01

  Or Oki.

• 25:06Conan O'Brien?

  You gotta get them your stuff.

• 25:06Speaker 01

  Or my dog.

• 25:07Conan O'Brien?

  And then your husband is last. Well, guess what? It's that time of year. You feel that. You smell that, that cinnamon cider in the air? Do you smell that?

• 25:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:17Conan O'Brien?

  And you see pumpkins around, people buying turkeys. Little early to buy a turkey.

• 25:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:22Conan O'Brien?

  Doesn't matter. Holidays, I would say it's just around the corner, but that's a cliche. It's very nearby in the cupboard. Well, guess what? Amazon delivers joy with low prices on the gifts you want even this early in the season. So get ahead to the season. Shop early gifts, top picks, holiday decor and advent calendars at low prices. Get ahead, start on holiday gifting with Amazon's low prices. Shop now at amazon.com/holiday.

• 25:56Speaker 03

  This next one, oh boy, Sona, this is called Sona is a Bad Grandchild.

• 26:00Speaker 01

  I don't want to do this one. I listen, recently my mom, after we watch this clip, you'll understand this more. I mean.

• 26:06Speaker 03

  I love it. I don't want to do this one, but after we watch the clip.

• 26:08Speaker 01

  I know. I so want to do this one because my mom did come up to me and she's like, you need to tell everybody what a great woman your great grandma was because I made her sound like a crazy witch.

• 26:18Speaker 03

  I'm sorry, we don't have time for that. No, go ahead. This is the time.

• 26:22Speaker 01

  She was. My great grandma, who I made, used to make cry just for funsies, was actually a really incredible human being and, you know, I, I, okay.

• 26:33Speaker 03

  So your mom has seen this?

• 26:35Speaker 01

  She has. I don't even know how. She never talks to me about like, hey, I saw you talk about this thing on the podcast. It's just like every once in a while she brings it up. So I don't know if someone sent it to her or if she just watches it and just doesn't want to talk to me about the things that I say.

• 26:52Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 26:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, which that could possibly be the second one because she doesn't like some of the things I talk about.

• 26:58Speaker 03

  Okay, roll it.

• 27:05Conan O'Brien?

  Sona, you lived with?

• 27:06Speaker 01

  Oh, my, yeah.

• 27:07Conan O'Brien?

  Your grandparents.

• 27:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they both lived into their 90s.

• 27:11Conan O'Brien?

  Into their 90s?

• 27:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:12Conan O'Brien?

  And they came from?

• 27:14Speaker 01

  They came from Istanbul.

• 27:15Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 27:16Speaker 01

  And I mean, my, my grandpa started, he was a butcher when he was 12. Like, they just put him to work really early.

• 27:23Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 27:23Speaker 01

  So it's like the idea that you are trusting a 12 year old with slaughtering animals is, just feels like a completely different world.

• 27:32Conan O'Brien?

  But also just the fact that then they come to this country and they're living with you and it's, you're going out to In-N-Out.

• 27:41Conan O'Brien?

  Out to grab a burger.

• 27:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:42Conan O'Brien?

  And whatever else you're up to. It's just this amazing clash of cultures. I find that stuff fascinating.

• 27:47Speaker 01

  Well, my great grandma also lived with us and she was old as shit. She was really old.

• 27:52Conan O'Brien?

  You don't say old as shit.

• 27:54Speaker 01

  She was really, really old. And I remember she was this old wrinkly lady and I was really young. I was maybe like 10. And my mom's like, she's gonna sleep in your room. And I, that, it, from then on, I was terrified of the dark because I thought she was like a old witch lady. And she was just like-

• 28:10Conan O'Brien?

  Wait, when you say she was, what did you say? Old as shit?

• 28:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:13Conan O'Brien?

  How old is old as shit?

• 28:14Speaker 01

  She was, I mean, when I was 10, she was like 95.

• 28:18Conan O'Brien?

  Because there are young comedians out there that now see me and go, you're old as shit. So it's all, it's all relative.

• 28:25Speaker 01

  That's right. I was 10 and she was 60.

• 28:27Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, seriously, how old do you think she was?

• 28:29Speaker 01

  She was 95, yeah. But she was like an old wrinkly lady and I was young and I was like, why is this old person in my room? And I, I got terrified of the dark.

• 28:37Conan O'Brien?

  You're like an awful grandchild.

• 28:39Speaker 01

  I was really bad.

• 28:40Conan O'Brien?

  I love this, like, oh, and wrinkled? Why is that in my room?

• 28:43Speaker 01

  I have, we did something else. I don't want to, I shouldn't bring it.

• 28:47Conan O'Brien?

  Well, we got it now.

• 28:48Speaker 01

  This is really bad. So she had a son who passed away that no one told her passed away. And then my uncle, who was still in Istanbul. And we'd hold up two fingers and be like, Menzies, you know, touch one of them. And we would, she would touch them and be like, oh, that's, you know, Bedjo Dadi, who was my uncle. And she'd just instantly start crying. And we thought it was so funny.

• 29:09Conan O'Brien?

  What was happening here?

• 29:10Speaker 01

  Because we kept reminding her of these people she hadn't seen in a long time. And we'd instantly make her cry. And Danny and I were like, let's go make Menzies cry.

• 29:19Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, my God, you're a, you're a monster. You're a sociopath. How is that?

• 29:24Speaker 01

  We were just fascinated with her instant, like, sadness.

• 29:27Speaker 03

  I thought you were the true sociopath, but it's you on the road.

• 29:30Speaker 01

  It was messed up.

• 29:32Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, no, I, to be fair, I did it to my grandmother, Madi, too. I used to go, remember that? That beloved one that perished? It was fun. We used to call it, it was the old fun, we called it the parish game. Hey, let's go play parish. And we'd go into Madi's room. Remember the one you loved who perished?

• 29:53Conan O'Brien?

  Look at that. Waterworks. You're an awful, awful person.

• 29:58Speaker 01

  No, no joke, that was really bad.

• 29:59Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, you're a bad person.

• 30:00Speaker 01

  It was bad. We would make her laugh just for fun.

• 30:02Conan O'Brien?

  All right, well, listen, let's have some good come from this.

• 30:04Speaker 03

  You don't need to clarify no joke. We know that it's bad.

• 30:06Speaker 01

  We would make her cry just for fun.

• 30:07Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah, I know.

• 30:07Speaker 01

  Because we were terrible people.

• 30:08Conan O'Brien?

  Let's have some good come out of this. If you're listening right now and you're tempted to go mock a very, very old relative by reminding them of someone they lost long ago, think twice.

• 30:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:22Conan O'Brien?

  That's a little word from Conan O'Brien. Needs a friend.

• 30:29Speaker 03

  What if one day your great grandchildren come up to you and you're old and wrinkly and sleeping in their bedroom?

• 30:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:36Speaker 03

  And start doing this to you? Will you laugh?

• 30:40Speaker 01

  I'll be so old. Look, I think,

• 30:46Speaker 01

  did you ever do anything when you were younger where you're like, that's a shitty thing? Like, I used to egg houses and now I'm like, that's not cool.

• 30:52Speaker 03

  We would play, did you ever play Dead Man?

• 30:54Speaker 01

  No.

• 30:55Speaker 03

  Where you'd lie half in the street, half on the curb, like you're dead, and wait for a car to drive by and stop and go like, are you okay? And all the other kids are hiding in the bushes listening.

• 31:05Speaker 01

  No!

• 31:05Speaker 03

  And you just go, I'm just looking at the stars.

• 31:09Speaker 01

  Matt, really?

• 31:10Speaker 03

  Don't act so surprised. That's nowhere near what you did.

• 31:13Speaker 01

  That is a horrible thing you used to do.

• 31:14Speaker 03

  No.

• 31:15Speaker 01

  That is so bad. Look, my mom unfortunately saw this clip. My mom, that was, that's my mom's grandma, Medzek. She's my great grandma. She was an incredible woman. I can't believe I called her old as shit. And I think that that's a terrible word usage that I had, but I, she was an incredible, incredible lady. I do feel bad. I think I just kind of said it in a flippant way, but I do feel bad that I used to make her cry just for fun, which is an awful thing to do.

• 31:44Speaker 03

  How old were you?

• 31:45Speaker 01

  I was like, I think I was around 10 or 11, and it is-

• 31:48Speaker 03

  So definitely old enough to know better.

• 31:49Speaker 01

  It is, you know what? That's the thing. I was, I was old enough to know better.

• 31:53Speaker 03

  I think people are hearing you, your true self right now.

• 31:56Speaker 01

  Yes. I do think, like, the older I get too, the more I realize I can cry very easily. So I think that we were just kind of like, look at her, have emotions, just from us saying a name. And I feel like now as a, you know, a human, I would be like, I shouldn't do that.

• 32:13Speaker 03

  It's kind of true. Most kids are sociopaths and then you learn empathy as you have trauma.

• 32:19Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 32:22Speaker 03

  Again, don't act so shocked.

• 32:26Speaker 01

  Look, if there's any 10 or 11 year olds listening and you have a great grandma who can cry very easily, like, just don't do it. Okay.

• 32:34Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 32:34Speaker 01

  Now we cleared that up. Oh geez, that was hard to watch. That was hard to watch.

• 32:39Speaker 03

  It's hard to be a partner sometimes.

• 32:45Speaker 03

  This next one is Conan's Hot Ones recap. This was quite a moment in the pop culture in last year. And then we got to have Conan just kind of recap his experience on Hot Ones where he broke the system.

• 32:57Speaker 01

  I, I don't even, like, this is, this was a fun moment for our podcast, but the Hot Ones episode, I think in terms of Conan's career, was probably one of the most unhinged, just funniest things I think I've ever seen him do.

• 33:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:14Speaker 01

  But yeah, it was really, I mean, it was incredible how many people were talking about him after that. And so, yeah, this one, this one's really funny.

• 33:22Speaker 03

  Let's listen.

• 33:28Speaker 01

  How are you?

• 33:29Conan O'Brien?

  I'm doing great.

• 33:29Speaker 01

  Are you?

• 33:30Conan O'Brien?

  I am.

• 33:31Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 33:31Conan O'Brien?

  A lot of people are asking me, how do I feel?

• 33:33Speaker 01

  Cause you, you ate, you ate a lot of spicy food on Hot Ones.

• 33:37Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, I went on the show Hot Ones. And I did not, I was aware of the show, obviously. It's a very successful show. I hadn't really, can't say I was an expert on the show. I went in thinking, well, whatever happens, I just have to eat all the wings. And, and just go for it and make a fool of myself. And so that's, I kind of had that plan in mind, but didn't know much beyond that. The host, very good, excellent. I like that guy a lot. He's a very good interviewer.

• 34:09Speaker 01

  He is.

• 34:09Conan O'Brien?

  He's a really good interviewer and, and they do a really good job on that show. So Sean's asking me questions and I was just determined to just keep stuffing these wings in no matter what. And then, of course, me being me, I start drinking the sauce.

• 34:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:22Conan O'Brien?

  And rubbing it around on my face and my chest and everything and. The whole, and I've, so when I walk around now, because a lot of people have seen this, people keep asking me if I'm okay.

• 34:34Speaker 03

  I wondered the same thing. Well, I also just watched Conan Must Go, which is fantastic, by the way. And in Thailand, you get pretty floored, albeit comedy.

• 34:42Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 34:42Speaker 03

  Comedically by some sauce. So I thought you're gonna go down when I see Hot Ones.

• 34:47Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Uh, no, well, we played that up for comedy and then, uh, and, and, and you're allowed to, in the, in a sketch world, or comedy world, you can fake things a little bit.

• 34:58Speaker 03

  I'm aware of.

• 34:58Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 34:59Speaker 01

  Is that how comedy works?

• 35:00Speaker 03

  Comedy works, really?

• 35:01Conan O'Brien?

  I really, when I look at you two, I think an explanation might be in order.

• 35:06Speaker 03

  So what's the deal? Do you not have taste buds or something? How, how did you do that?

• 35:10Speaker 01

  I have never seen you eat spicy food.

• 35:12Conan O'Brien?

  I don't eat spicy food.

• 35:13Speaker 01

  I hear, you know, there's people who like put Tabasco or Tapatio on stuff. I've, I've had so many meals with you and I've never seen you eat spicy food.

• 35:21Speaker 03

  I have a theory. It's that the only thing worse than that amount of thermal spice would be you not somehow getting the attention that eating all of that would give you.

• 35:31Conan O'Brien?

  Yes. And all joking aside, and also I've had a bunch of people posit that, uh, I have the red haired gene, which is, um, there's a, you know, when I go to the dentist and they give me Novocain, they then go to drill and it's like, I haven't had Novocain. And I'm always saying, I, I feel everything right now. And they, and they always say, oh yeah, you're a redhead. I don't know if that's, but I've had many dentists say that to me and they keep, they give me a lot more. And they say the redheads have, uh, whatever, higher pain threshold or something. I don't know what it is.

• 36:03Speaker 03

  Meaning you feel less pain, you feel more pain?

• 36:06Conan O'Brien?

  I don't, you don't, well, you don't feel, I don't know, I don't know exactly how it works. And I'm just freewheeling here. I just know what I've been told by people. I don't think it's it. I think you have it, Matt, which is, I've always been, if I think something will be funny, I'll do it and deal with it later.

• 36:23Speaker 03

  And did you?

• 36:24Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I did deal with it later. I, I was dealt with later.

• 36:28Speaker 03

  How did it manifest itself?

• 36:29Conan O'Brien?

  Um, I've, I've spot welded an iron, I spot welded it.

• 36:35Speaker 01

  We're all thinking the same thing.

• 36:36Conan O'Brien?

  I spot welded, I went to, I went, I wanted it to be useful.

• 36:39Speaker 03

  And how much did you shit?

• 36:40Speaker 01

  How much did your butt hurt?

• 36:44Conan O'Brien?

  Here's what I decided to do.

• 36:46Speaker 03

  And do your butt taste butt?

• 36:48Conan O'Brien?

  Here's what I decided to do. I decided that I wanted, after I ingested all that, I wanted it to be useful. So I found a construction site where they were doing spot welding. And I went there. And I said, gentlemen, if you want, I can weld these girders for you in about, I'm guessing about 15 minutes. You'll need to avert your eyes because I'll be dropping my pants. And, um, they said, uh, okay. And I said, I will need someone to stay behind and light it. And then we'll be all set to go. So there's a building in the mid-Wilshire district that's going up. And I, um, I think I did about 65 rivets

• 37:33Conan O'Brien?

  in the building. And people were driving by saying, Conan O'Brien his pants are around his ankles. And I think fire is shooting out of his ass and he's welding a building. And here's the biggest problem. I had to join the union.

• 37:51Conan O'Brien?

  But that way, everybody wins. There's a building and trust me, that section of the building will never fall. That's it. That's the best. And they've had an engineer say, whoever did this, these are heat temperatures we've never seen.

• 38:05Speaker 01

  So every time you're gonna weld something, you just have to eat a lot of hot wings?

• 38:09Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, I'm in the union now. And all I have to do is I've got all the sauces from Hot Ones.

• 38:14Speaker 03

  You are the saddest X-Men ever.

• 38:17Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 38:19Conan O'Brien?

  Meet the X-Men.

• 38:21Speaker 03

  Really? He's on the X-Men? What do we do with him?

• 38:23Conan O'Brien?

  His name's Ass Weld.

• 38:27Conan O'Brien?

  What's this super? And I just, and you know what it is? I have a bandolier and instead of, instead of ammunition, it's just sauces.

• 38:36Conan O'Brien?

  And they're like, what are we gonna do? How are we gonna get out of this? The bad guys have sealed us in this lead safe. Hold on a second.

• 38:50Speaker 01

  To pull your pants down?

• 38:52Speaker 05

  You have to pull your pants down.

• 38:53Speaker 01

  Does your uniform have a compartment?

• 38:55Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, the uniform has, and-

• 38:57Speaker 03

  Like a Union suit, a little thing, little flap you-

• 39:00Speaker 05

  Well, it's actually, it's a very tiny flap that's the exact circumference of an anus. It's a tiny circle that unflaps. And then just a beam of the whitest light you've ever seen comes out.

• 39:11Speaker 03

  Of phosphorus.

• 39:12Speaker 05

  Of phosphorus, yeah. And, um, and everyone has to put on welding goggles.

• 39:18Speaker 03

  Oh, God.

• 39:21Speaker 03

  Do you see what I'm doing? I'm raising my ass out of the chair. Because I feel like I'm just having psychosomatic symptoms of that or something.

• 39:30Speaker 01

  You know what? I think you asked the question everybody was thinking after Hot Ones, which is like-

• 39:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:35Speaker 01

  Had it come out?

• 39:36Speaker 03

  Right. He joked, but we don't really know.

• 39:39Speaker 01

  I know.

• 39:39Speaker 03

  Maybe that's true, you know, maybe.

• 39:41Speaker 01

  Maybe it's true that he welded a building-

• 39:44Speaker 03

  Maybe.

• 39:45Speaker 01

  With his butt.

• 39:47Speaker 05

  The reason why I love that clip is that I think more than most clips shows how good Conan is at improv. I mean, he took basically a thing of like, yeah, my stomach is upset and my butt was burning and turned it into like a movie. Like that, like it was like a three act structure.

• 40:06Speaker 03

  A character, a fully developed character.

• 40:08Speaker 05

  That's right.

• 40:08Speaker 03

  That had to join the Union.

• 40:09Speaker 05

  Exactly. I mean, just so many amazing, I mean, truly, it was just like a one man show. So that's-

• 40:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, and how many welding terms he just randomly just pulled out of his ass.

• 40:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:20Speaker 01

  Pun intended.

• 40:21Speaker 03

  Well done.

• 40:22Speaker 01

  Thank you. I have to say, I, I haven't watched these since we recorded them.

• 40:27Speaker 03

  Me either.

• 40:28Speaker 01

  But, so it's, this is really fun.

• 40:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:31Speaker 01

  We should do this more often.

• 40:32Speaker 03

  I agree.

• 40:32Speaker 01

  Just watch ourselves.

• 40:34Speaker 03

  You want to come over later and watch me?

• 40:37Speaker 01

  Watch you?

• 40:37Speaker 03

  Just me.

• 40:39Speaker 01

  You edited yourself out of every video and there's just a big, gory video out there.

• 40:45Speaker 04

  We knew we wanted to have like some reference to Hot Ones, you know, in this because that, like you said, such a big moment. What we couldn't really fit into this episode was the Dr. Arroyo special.

• 40:55Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 40:56Speaker 03

  Which was also- Because it's just so long, right?

• 40:58Speaker 04

  So long.

• 40:59Speaker 03

  But it's consistently funny.

• 41:00Speaker 04

  And it contains what I think might be the funniest line of the year on this podcast, which is when he says, "Dr. Arroyo, I want you to come and take my pulse."

• 41:09Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 41:09Speaker 04

  And then he started choking me. And then Dr. Arroyo, Jose Arroyo, hilarious writer, says, "I thought you wanted me to take your pulse."

• 41:16Speaker 03

  Take your pulse.

• 41:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, take your pulse. Take it away.

• 41:19Speaker 03

  Oh, God, that guy.

• 41:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:21Speaker 03

  It's so funny. Well, as brilliant as Conan is at improv, he's not a great arm wrestler.

• 41:28Speaker 01

  He's weak.

• 41:30Speaker 01

  He's a weak little man.

• 41:31Conan O'Brien?

  This also, I think, out of maybe all the segments we've done this year, is the most chaotic.

• 41:37Speaker 03

  I'm trying to remember. All I can remember from this is utter victory. That's the only thing I remember. So I'm excited to see this.

• 41:45Conan O'Brien?

  Then you're in for a treat.

• 41:46Speaker 01

  Did you really think he would ever beat you? I knew you were gonna win.

• 41:49Speaker 03

  Did you really?

• 41:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:50Speaker 03

  I don't know. I don't know because he is, I don't know about his physicality, but he has a willpower like no human I've ever met before. So sometimes that's all you need, you know?

• 42:00Speaker 01

  But I also, he's, he is a very strong person too. I mean, he works out. But I also know that he would put too much thought into it.

• 42:07Speaker 03

  Oh, interesting.

• 42:07Speaker 01

  And he'd be like in his own head.

• 42:09Speaker 03

  Where I'm just all animal magnetism.

• 42:11Speaker 01

  You're just a dumb jock. And you're like, fuck you, arm wrestler. Yeah, let's do it.

• 42:16Speaker 03

  And then I went home to my cheerleaders.

• 42:20Speaker 01

  Classic Matt.

• 42:21Speaker 03

  Classic. All right. Let's roll this. I want to see this. Maybe we'll watch it twice.

• 42:32Conan O'Brien?

  This is what we were just talking about. I made a declaration that I'm pretty sure I could take anybody in this room in a physical fight, except I said Blay. I don't think I could take you because you work out all the time.

• 42:43Speaker 04

  Thank you very much.

• 42:44Speaker 01

  You could.

• 42:44Conan O'Brien?

  I don't think I could. But, and then everyone started to get into it like, no, you couldn't. You couldn't take Eduardo.

• 42:50Speaker 04

  But you said more than that.

• 42:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:52Speaker 04

  You said I'd fight you without my hands.

• 42:54Conan O'Brien?

  Yes. Well, I know that you're a huge.

• 42:56Speaker 03

  And I still think he'd win.

• 42:57Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. No, I think you're a huge, you're a huge soccer fan. You love Lionel Messi.

• 43:01Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 43:02Conan O'Brien?

  It's Leonel, by the way. And I just think you're probably like, in the back of your mind, think I can't use my hands. I've got to get him with my feet. And then I just lay you out, you know? And then Adam, I'm sorry, but I just, it would be over very quickly.

• 43:16Speaker 03

  I disagree.

• 43:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:18Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 43:18Speaker 03

  I think Adam's the quiet prizefighter, you know?

• 43:22Conan O'Brien?

  Have you been in many physical fights?

• 43:24Speaker 04

  Very few.

• 43:27Conan O'Brien?

  Very few. Very few say.

• 43:30Speaker 04

  Sona, I think rightfully said that she couldn't see me getting, like, working up enough rage.

• 43:35Conan O'Brien?

  I don't, yeah, I think, first of all, you remind me, and the listeners probably thinking, well, we can't picture this Adam Sacks. Imagine a milder Michael Sarah. Is that fair? Like, even milder and not as strong.

• 43:52Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 43:53Conan O'Brien?

  Like, Michael Sarah is, like, on steroids compared to...

• 43:56Speaker 03

  No, Adam's tall and lit.

• 43:58Speaker 04

  I think, do you want to arm wrestle across the table?

• 44:00Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, yes.

• 44:03Speaker 03

  Come on.

• 44:04Conan O'Brien?

  No, I can't. This rotator cuff.

• 44:06Speaker 03

  Oh, really? I'd like to see this. My money's on this guy right here.

• 44:09Conan O'Brien?

  Well, wait a minute. Whoever wins an arm wrestling struggle does not win the fight.

• 44:14Speaker 04

  No, it is a one indicator of strength. It doesn't mean I would beat you in a fight, but it would, it means I'd beat you in a single, you know, feat of strength.

• 44:23Conan O'Brien?

  Well, this thing's in the way.

• 44:25Speaker 03

  No.

• 44:26Conan O'Brien?

  But listen, let's keep the conversation going for a bit first, okay? And then we'll see if this so-called test of fighting aptitude gets us there. You know, so every time you're in a stressful situation, or let's say you're walking down the street with your wife and some thug stands in the way and says, "Give me your money." You're gonna say, "We'll arm wrestle and see who gets my gold." Is that what you'll say?

• 44:48Speaker 04

  It's, I mean, it came to mind. We can figure out other ways to test.

• 44:51Conan O'Brien?

  How about, "I fight you. I fight you." But you're mind folded. I mean, I'm...

• 44:55Speaker 04

  You can't do that, you know, mic'd up. It's easier to sit at the table.

• 44:58Conan O'Brien?

  And what about, now, Matt, when you see me, when you see you coming after me, I know you're ageist and stuff, but come on. I mean, look at, look at this guy.

• 45:05Speaker 03

  No, you look great. You're super fit for your age. And I want to say this. The only thing I've got going in my corner is a desperate need to prove something to you, my father figure.

• 45:16Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 45:17Speaker 03

  And so that might be enough to take me over the top.

• 45:19Conan O'Brien?

  Also, I'm betting, just because I know you got a lot of flea markets and you love to buy weird things, I bet you have a Flemish suit of armor at home.

• 45:25Speaker 03

  And probably some kind of antique brass knuckle.

• 45:28Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah.

• 45:29Speaker 03

  Umbrella with that knife cane, you know?

• 45:31Conan O'Brien?

  You have all kinds of weapons, ironically. I bet you have those.

• 45:34Speaker 03

  What's an ironic?

• 45:36Conan O'Brien?

  Like a bumber shoot that has a little.

• 45:38Speaker 03

  That's what I just said.

• 45:39Conan O'Brien?

  A little knife that comes out.

• 45:40Speaker 03

  That's what I literally just said.

• 45:41Conan O'Brien?

  I know, but it comes out, but one that has like a James Bond.

• 45:44Speaker 03

  What I just said.

• 45:45Conan O'Brien?

  You didn't say one that has a little knife that comes out, did you?

• 45:47Speaker 03

  I did.

• 45:48Conan O'Brien?

  Did he say that? Oh, I think I would lose this fight. I wouldn't even know I was in a fight. I'm telling you, um, as my body grows stronger and it does every day, ladies, um, I think my mind is going. I didn't hear you say that, but then again, I was yelling at you and I wasn't really listening.

• 46:02Speaker 03

  You need your mind. You know, you can't just be fleet of foot. You need your mind in a fight, you know?

• 46:06Speaker 01

  Yeah. And coordination. You have no coordination. You have no coordination.

• 46:11Speaker 03

  Get to the bigger thing and I think Sona could take you.

• 46:13Speaker 01

  I can easily take you and you know I can take you.

• 46:16Conan O'Brien?

  You know, I do have the rage. I will say this. An angry Sona beats everyone in this room.

• 46:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think we're all agreed.

• 46:22Conan O'Brien?

  And I've seen you when your blood is up.

• 46:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:24Conan O'Brien?

  And you are the Khaleesi. It's, it's insane. The dragons, the whole thing. You're just.

• 46:29Speaker 01

  But you don't have, you, yes, you are a strong person.

• 46:32Conan O'Brien?

  And I have, I have a lot of inner rage.

• 46:33Speaker 03

  Oh, for sure.

• 46:34Speaker 01

  But you also, you don't have very much coordination and I think you'd be doing a lot of bits.

• 46:39Conan O'Brien?

  I would do bits.

• 46:39Speaker 01

  Putting the pen and be like, oh, a mustache pen.

• 46:42Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, yes. I would do bits as I fought, which I think is very impressive. Uh, I manage to do bits when I fight people.

• 46:49Speaker 01

  I don't think that is impressive and I think you'd get beaten, beaten up.

• 46:52Speaker 03

  Unless it's a distracting tactic.

• 46:54Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, it wouldn't be distracting. It's a lot of me using glasses. If I have a pen, I make it a mustache or I make it, like, oh, I'm the walrus with one, with one, with one tusk. I'm the walrus with one tusk, you know?

• 47:07Speaker 03

  There's only one way to decide this and that is right now.

• 47:09Speaker 01

  Fight club.

• 47:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:10Conan O'Brien?

  Battle royale, the six of us.

• 47:12Speaker 04

  Why don't you guys go right now?

• 47:13Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, so, Jesus. What, what are you doing? Trying to swing at you.

• 47:17Speaker 01

  Already I feel like, I don't know anything about arm wrestling technique, but I could tell it's not right.

• 47:21Conan O'Brien?

  I know nothing about arm wrestling.

• 47:22Speaker 01

  All right.

• 47:23Conan O'Brien?

  And I don't think it's a chest of strength.

• 47:24Speaker 04

  All right, on your mark.

• 47:25Conan O'Brien?

  And we, we hold these hands?

• 47:26Speaker 04

  Ready?

• 47:27Speaker 01

  Wait, what are you doing?

• 47:28Speaker 04

  Hold the bottom hand.

• 47:29Conan O'Brien?

  No, hey, trying to say something? Matt reached over and held my other hand.

• 47:33Speaker 03

  This is over the top rules. If we don't have the little joysticks.

• 47:36Conan O'Brien?

  Wait, what? But why did you hold my hand?

• 47:38Speaker 03

  This is what you do.

• 47:39Conan O'Brien?

  Hey, do you want to get one milkshake and two straws? Hey, how about we both, we both start on different ends of a strand of spaghetti and move our way to the middle.

• 47:48Speaker 03

  Have you people never arm wrestled with someone you loved dearly and wanted to get closer to?

• 47:53Conan O'Brien?

  Can I say something else? Sona, give me your hand. He held my hand and he did a little bit of that. It was a little bit of a rub.

• 47:59Speaker 03

  No.

• 47:59Speaker 01

  Why are you doing it?

• 48:01Speaker 03

  You do this?

• 48:02Speaker 01

  No, that's on the side. That's not in the middle. That's on the side.

• 48:06Speaker 04

  There's nowhere for your arm to go. That's blocking that.

• 48:08Conan O'Brien?

  A disagreement has broken out in chess club is what's happening.

• 48:11Speaker 01

  This is the weirdest. I have never seen this technique.

• 48:14Conan O'Brien?

  My microphone is over here.

• 48:15Speaker 03

  What are you doing with this hand?

• 48:17Speaker 01

  I have never seen this technique before.

• 48:19Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. When?

• 48:21Speaker 03

  Okay, but.

• 48:21Conan O'Brien?

  Ah, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. He's, wait a minute. You're on this side of the table pushing that way.

• 48:28Speaker 03

  What the fuck did you do?

• 48:29Conan O'Brien?

  Push that way. Gourley won easily. No, but you saw what he did.

• 48:33Speaker 03

  Oh, let's do it.

• 48:34Conan O'Brien?

  You're on like this side of the table. There's no way.

• 48:36Speaker 03

  Well, let's switch places then, like.

• 48:38Conan O'Brien?

  Arm wrestling. No, just stay there, but get here.

• 48:43Speaker 04

  Here we go. Ready?

• 48:44Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 48:45Speaker 03

  Wait, wait, no.

• 48:46Conan O'Brien?

  When?

• 48:47Speaker 04

  When?

• 48:50Speaker 04

  One to one.

• 48:51Conan O'Brien?

  One to one.

• 48:52Speaker 04

  One to one.

• 48:53Speaker 03

  Hold his other hand, Sona.

• 48:54Speaker 01

  I'm not doing shit.

• 48:55Conan O'Brien?

  And go.

• 48:59Speaker 05

  Lift down his arm.

• 49:00Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, wait. You okay? What happened? What the fuck's wrong with you? What the fuck is wrong with you? Can't you arm wrestle?

• 49:11Speaker 03

  Oh my God, look at that. He, he broke my skin.

• 49:14Speaker 05

  Dapped him with a pen.

• 49:15Conan O'Brien?

  Here's the thing.

• 49:16Speaker 03

  Dirty. You're the little poison tipped umbrella.

• 49:19Conan O'Brien?

  Look, when I said I would win, what I'm telling you is I would win. I would use anything in the room to win.

• 49:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know what? You would. I think you would. I think you're the best like cheater.

• 49:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:30Conan O'Brien?

  I don't call it cheating. Is it cheating?

• 49:34Speaker 05

  When Jason Bourne uses he uses something in the kitchen when the Russian attacks him and beats him.

• 49:41Speaker 03

  I just want to say, he does use a pen, but he uses the pointy nib and you just took like the blunt curvy end.

• 49:48Speaker 05

  Because I didn't.

• 49:50Speaker 03

  Look at that.

• 49:50Speaker 05

  Matt, I didn't want to hurt you. Do you realize if I'd use the sharp? I thought about that.

• 49:55Speaker 03

  You did. You could have killed me.

• 49:57Speaker 05

  I would like, my dream is that all of you attack me at once.

• 50:02Speaker 03

  That's my dream too.

• 50:03Speaker 01

  Okay, I think we all, I think we all have the same dream.

• 50:09Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 50:12Speaker 03

  Still feels good after all this time.

• 50:14Speaker 04

  Part two, yeah.

• 50:15Speaker 01

  That really was.

• 50:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, I will. I forgot how much he went after. He just totally dismissed.

• 50:20Speaker 03

  I think we need to have a tournament. Like, have you guys ever seen Over the Top, the Stallone movie? And that's what I'm talking about when I reference those joysticks, when you do professional arm wrestling. And so when you're doing it at truck stops, like I often am, you have to grab each other's hands underneath. That's how you do it. I defend this and there are people online that will come to my defense on this.

• 50:38Speaker 01

  I think the interesting thing was you just assumed Conan knew that.

• 50:41Speaker 03

  That's true.

• 50:42Speaker 01

  So that you like went to hold his hand and he just didn't understand what you were, I think, no, no, nobody did. I think we were all like, why are you?

• 50:50Speaker 03

  Really?

• 50:51Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 50:51Speaker 03

  You guys gotta get out, you know?

• 50:53Speaker 01

  To truck stops?

• 50:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, truck stops and dive bars and honky tonks.

• 50:57Speaker 05

  It's like a switch.

• 50:58Speaker 03

  Exactly, yes.

• 50:59Speaker 05

  He turns his hat around and that's when he goes and then.

• 51:01Speaker 03

  But we need to have a tournament. How does that work? So you just, everybody does, everybody arm wrestles everybody and then the winners proceed?

• 51:08Speaker 01

  Do we have to have one?

• 51:09Speaker 05

  It's either round robin where we all.

• 51:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, we have to.

• 51:11Speaker 05

  It's either, there's three choices.

• 51:13Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 51:13Speaker 05

  It's round robin where we all arm wrestle each other, or we come up with heats into a bracket, or we don't do it.

• 51:18Speaker 01

  I think the third option is probably the best. Honestly, that was, there was so much testosterone in that segment.

• 51:26Speaker 03

  Which is rare for this room.

• 51:27Speaker 01

  It is, that's what is so crazy is that you guys are not like, yo, kick anyone's ass. And you're not, nobody in this room is like that.

• 51:36Speaker 03

  No.

• 51:36Speaker 01

  But we had an entire segment where we just talked about whether or not we could all beat up Conan.

• 51:42Speaker 05

  I would like to do like, maybe this summer, you know, now that we're talking about this, maybe a podcast Olympics to find out which one of us is the best podcaster. And it could be different events that aren't necessarily all, you know, who has the best pronunciation of different words, perhaps? Who, you know? Oh, okay, maybe not.

• 52:01Speaker 01

  No, I didn't, I didn't know what goes into being a good podcaster.

• 52:04Speaker 03

  I stand only to lose on this because I've almost been doing this for 20 years. And if I don't win this, I'm gonna, that's a huge embarrassment.

• 52:11Speaker 05

  The stakes are high. I'm just saying it could lend itself to a competition. Eduardo?

• 52:15Speaker 01

  You're right. Sure. I just.

• 52:17Speaker 05

  Sure. Thanks, buddy. What is, you forget your retainer today?

• 52:21Speaker 03

  I'm a great podcaster.

• 52:23Speaker 01

  I just love, I love your idea of like being a great podcaster is do you enunciate? And then do you have good mic technique? That also felt like a Conan joke to you. Oh.

• 52:33Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. With the hard G's.

• 52:35Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 52:36Speaker 05

  Oh, I did not think of it. I was not, I was not a retainer.

• 52:39Speaker 01

  That's true. I know of all the thing, I mean, obviously I would lose that one. Cause also.

• 52:43Speaker 03

  Well, no, because Conan does this all the time. I'm constantly editing it out. I'm constantly editing out his.

• 52:50Speaker 05

  Wow, you're gonna lose.

• 52:51Speaker 01

  You, so you've been doing this for 20 years?

• 52:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 53:01Conan O'Brien?

  You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?

• 53:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:04Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen, you know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.

• 53:18Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 53:19Conan O'Brien?

  Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.

• 53:27Speaker 01

  I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.

• 53:32Conan O'Brien?

  I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5N, which I love. Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid's fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?

• 53:51Speaker 01

  Hello.

• 53:52Conan O'Brien?

  Rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid. Yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space. With available, I had this memorized, H-Track all-wheel drive, up to an EPA-estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty. It's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality innovation technology and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View U.S. News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details.

• 54:26Conan O'Brien?

  Your name represents everything you've built, okay? Everything, like, I feel that way about my name.

• 54:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:31Conan O'Brien?

  It stands for all of the work good and not so good. But guess what? Your children's names represent their whole futures.

• 54:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:40Conan O'Brien?

  Your children haven't even started building their futures, but their identities are already valuable. Your child's clean credit history can make them a target for identity thieves. Never thought of it that way, but it's true. Identity thieves can open loans and credit cards using your child's social security number, racking up debt and ruining their credit. And you may not notice until they try and get their first credit card. So it could be a long time.

• 55:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:02Conan O'Brien?

  Well, guess what? With LifeLock, you can add family members to your plan, giving you the power to block identity threats targeting your children. Now, Sony, your kids are pretty young still.

• 55:11Speaker 01

  They are.

• 55:11Conan O'Brien?

  Five, but within a couple of years, you know, they're gonna be buying heavy machinery online.

• 55:17Speaker 01

  What?

• 55:18Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna be, become tractor fanatics. They're gonna be buying tractors online. So if you have expenses or money stolen due to identity theft, you're backed by the million-dollar protection package with up to $3 million coverage in some plans. So join now, save up to 30% off your first year. Go to lifelock.com/conan. That's lifelock.com/conan to save 30%. Terms apply.

• 55:42Conan O'Brien?

  This fall, I want to try something different.

• 55:44Speaker 01

  What?

• 55:44Conan O'Brien?

  I like to change it up. I like to learn things, so I'm gonna try and make apple cider.

• 55:48Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 55:48Conan O'Brien?

  Every morning.

• 55:49Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 55:50Conan O'Brien?

  This fall, just to see if I can do it.

• 55:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:52Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, fall's the perfect season to try something new, like joining T-Mobile.

• 55:56Speaker 01

  Oh, that's good.

• 55:57Conan O'Brien?

  See what I did?

• 55:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:58Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, there are 250 reasons to join T-Mobile right now. You want to hear what they are?

• 56:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:02Conan O'Brien?

  They're America's best network.

• 56:03Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 56:04Conan O'Brien?

  True story. Plus, T-Mobile has got off-grid satellite coverage. That comes in really handy. I like to just wander in the woods sometimes.

• 56:11Speaker 01

  Oh, that's weird.

• 56:11Conan O'Brien?

  When I'm thinking about, like, making apple cider.

• 56:13Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 56:13Conan O'Brien?

  And, uh, that's when it comes in handy.

• 56:15Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 56:15Conan O'Brien?

  Here's another reason. High-speed data in over 215 countries and destinations. I travel a lot for the-

• 56:20Speaker 01

  You travel a lot.

• 56:21Conan O'Brien?

  Travel show that I do.

• 56:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:23Conan O'Brien?

  Stream this podcast while ignoring local landmarks. That's always fun to do. Like, oh, look, there's the Mona Lisa. Yeah, check it out. I'm in the Louvre. I should. But I'm listening to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.

• 56:33Speaker 01

  That doesn't seem like a good idea.

• 56:34Conan O'Brien?

  It's a great idea.

• 56:35Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 56:36Conan O'Brien?

  You know, uh, you can see art anytime. But how often can you listen to this podcast?

• 56:41Speaker 01

  My god.

• 56:42Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 56:42Speaker 01

  What?

• 56:43Conan O'Brien?

  Now, all these reasons make T-Mobile a great choice.

• 56:45Speaker 01

  I agree.

• 56:46Conan O'Brien?

  T-Mobile is stacking up reasons to join. Go to tmobile.com and find yours. Best, based on analysis by Ookla of speed test intelligence data first half of 2026. Can't believe I read that. T-satellite with capable devices in most outdoor areas in the US where you can see the sky. High-speed international data with qualifying plan. Visit tmobile.com. Consult a physician. I just threw that in there.

• 57:10Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 57:16Conan O'Brien?

  Speaking of enunciation.

• 57:18Speaker 03

  Oh, that's right. And this was from a Summer Smores with Conzie and the Chill Chums, where we played the camp game, Chubby Bunny, which, like, holding hands under the arm wrestling, you guys didn't know, or Conan didn't know.

• 57:31Speaker 01

  I didn't know about Chubby Bunny.

• 57:32Speaker 03

  You guys, you gotta get to truck stops and summer camp.

• 57:35Speaker 01

  Well, here's the thing. I remember, I remember you talking about how you learned about Chubby Bunny at summer camp, but then I feel like shortly after, you were saying you never went to summer camp.

• 57:46Speaker 03

  I learned about it when I taught at an improv summer camp at Viola Bible College.

• 57:51Speaker 04

  Wait, is this the same, is this when you were also talking about when you kept getting homesick? When you were-

• 57:55Speaker 03

  That was a different improv camp that I taught in-

• 57:57Speaker 04

  Because you were saying that you were homesick at camp, and then it turned out you were not a camper. You were homesick.

• 58:02Speaker 01

  And you were in your twenties.

• 58:04Speaker 03

  I was a fully grown adult.

• 58:05Speaker 01

  And you said Viola? Wait, so that's not even, you weren't even that far from where you live?

• 58:10Speaker 03

  No, it was La Mirada, and I lived in Whittier, the next town over. I lived in Long Beach at the time.

• 58:14Speaker 01

  Oh, that's better.

• 58:15Speaker 03

  This was improv camp that was not affiliated with the Bible College. It just rented the thing, but there's on that campus. There's a building with a photorealistic 40 foot tall Jesus. And every time you're doing improv, you look up at this Jesus just staring down at you.

• 58:30Speaker 01

  Is he at least laughing?

• 58:31Speaker 03

  Well, he's got a mouthful of marshmallows.

• 58:38Speaker 03

  All right, let's roll it.

• 58:44Speaker 03

  When you guys were at camp, did you ever play chubby bunny?

• 58:47Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know what that is.

• 58:48Speaker 03

  You don't?

• 58:48Speaker 01

  I don't know what that is.

• 58:49Speaker 03

  Okay, we don't have to do this, but this was just an idea that came up when we were discussing this season.

• 58:55Speaker 03

  What happens is everybody takes a marshmallow and you put it in your mouth. And you say the words chubby bunny. And then we take turns adding a marshmallow each time until someone can't say chubby bunny anymore and they're out.

• 59:07Speaker 01

  All right.

• 59:08Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 59:09Speaker 01

  Can we eat the marshmallow?

• 59:10Speaker 03

  You have to keep it in your mouth.

• 59:11Speaker 01

  All right.

• 59:14Conan O'Brien?

  This is the game Marlon Brando was playing when he, when he secured, when he secured the role for the Godfather.

• 59:20Speaker 01

  Can I keep drinking?

• 59:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:22Speaker 01

  Will it dissolve the mud?

• 59:23Speaker 03

  Oh, no, you can't drink. You can't drink. All right.

• 59:26Conan O'Brien?

  So Sona's out.

• 59:28Speaker 01

  Chubby bunny.

• 59:28Speaker 03

  You can't swallow it. You can't chew. You have to keep it in your mouth.

• 59:31Speaker 01

  Let me just, hold on.

• 59:32Speaker 03

  That's all it does.

• 59:33Speaker 01

  Let me stock up.

• 59:33Conan O'Brien?

  Ever heard of this?

• 59:34Speaker 03

  You've never heard of this?

• 59:35Conan O'Brien?

  No. God, you grew up in a strange way.

• 59:39Speaker 03

  I did.

• 59:40Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 59:40Speaker 03

  You.

• 59:41Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, I have strange tales and stuff, but there was no chubby bunny in my, in my background.

• 59:47Speaker 03

  Who's played chubby bunny? Every hand goes up.

• 59:49Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 59:50Conan O'Brien?

  Eduardo's giving me the thumbs down.

• 59:51Speaker 03

  Never heard of it.

• 59:52Speaker 01

  Never played it?

• 59:53Speaker 03

  Never.

• 59:53Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 59:54Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 59:55Speaker 03

  All right. Chubby bunny.

• 1:00:00Conan O'Brien?

  Wait, does that count as you saying chubby bunny? It didn't sound like chubby bunny.

• 1:00:06Conan O'Brien?

  She's out. She's out.

• 1:00:09Conan O'Brien?

  You, first of all, you can't articulate things when you.

• 1:00:18Conan O'Brien?

  Chubby and bunny.

• 1:00:25Speaker 03

  You should go in snake order.

• 1:00:27Speaker 01

  Mmm, yeah.

• 1:00:37Speaker 01

  Oh god, you're not actually? Well, don't talk to that. I was gonna throw up. You're out. Okay, wrong.

• 1:00:46Speaker 05

  This game brought to you by Dr. Heimlich.

• 1:00:49Speaker 01

  I was gonna, I was going to throw up. I was actually going to throw up. These are the biggest marshmallows of all time.

• 1:00:59Speaker 01

  What, girl, stuff it in your mouth, Curly. These are marshmallows. Stop being funny, bitch.

• 1:01:21Speaker 01

  Suck it. Oh, boring.

• 1:01:35Speaker 05

  Oh, no.

• 1:01:39Speaker 01

  Oh god, there's so much spit there, girls.

• 1:01:44Speaker 01

  Oh my god, oh my god. A giant mouth.

• 1:01:53Speaker 01

  Suck it.

• 1:01:59Speaker 01

  This is so stupid.

• 1:02:02Speaker 01

  This is so dumb.

• 1:02:07Speaker 01

  This is, this is the dumbest thing I've ever been a part of. This one is disgusting.

• 1:02:19Speaker 01

  I just love that you can't talk. This one is disgusting.

• 1:02:26Speaker 01

  What is coming out? It's so grotesque. Oh god, it's so gross.

• 1:02:34Speaker 01

  Are you doing the Gettysburg Address?

• 1:02:36Speaker 05

  Yes, I am. Which means I win.

• 1:02:40Speaker 05

  Okay, that's it.

• 1:02:46Speaker 01

  Oh god.

• 1:02:48Speaker 03

  Oh, more napkins.

• 1:02:51Speaker 01

  How'd you guys do more than one?

• 1:02:53Speaker 03

  There's no winners in chubby bunny, only losers.

• 1:02:56Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know why. I have one question.

• 1:02:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:02:58Conan O'Brien?

  I developed this fastidious way of talking. I was going, "A chubby, a bunny." And I wasn't even trying to. But in my effort to over enunciate, it came out as, "A chubby, a bunny." And I wasn't trying to do that. It's just what happened. Could you tell it was the Gettysburg Address?

• 1:03:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, I could.

• 1:03:19Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, definitely.

• 1:03:20Conan O'Brien?

  Well, there you go.

• 1:03:21Speaker 01

  Also, if there's anything you're reciting, it's usually the Gettysburg Address.

• 1:03:28Speaker 03

  Oh man.

• 1:03:29Speaker 01

  Oh my god. Chill Chums is so fun.

• 1:03:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, because we get to drink.

• 1:03:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, although this year, not until much later.

• 1:03:37Speaker 03

  I know.

• 1:03:37Speaker 01

  And so I remember just like downing those drinks you gave us. And I got pretty hammered pretty quickly.

• 1:03:43Speaker 03

  That's nice.

• 1:03:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, I made up for lost time.

• 1:03:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, good, good. We gotta change that rule for next year.

• 1:03:48Speaker 01

  We do, but I don't think Conan's gonna want to.

• 1:03:50Speaker 03

  Well, he doesn't have to know.

• 1:03:52Speaker 01

  He's like, why do you guys have to get drunk? Because he's not, he doesn't, he can't hang with us.

• 1:03:56Speaker 03

  No, he can't. That's why you and I will pregame.

• 1:04:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:00Speaker 03

  We're gonna go to Pachanga Casino.

• 1:04:02Speaker 01

  We're gonna pregame there? Why can't we just go somewhere else?

• 1:04:06Speaker 03

  Okay, that's fine. That's fine too.

• 1:04:10Speaker 01

  What was I gonna say? Okay, so in order to promote the Chill Chums, because we recorded it in Altadena.

• 1:04:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:04:16Speaker 01

  Ruthie and Sam are two of the awesome people in our marketing team, got in touch with the Altadena Chamber of Commerce. And then I ended up joining the Altadena Chamber of Commerce. And then very recently, I went to one of their events and I had a blast.

• 1:04:30Speaker 03

  Wait, don't you have to have a business to be in the Chamber of Commerce?

• 1:04:33Speaker 01

  You don't. Not in Altadena at least. I just was like a normal person and I just signed up to be in the Chamber of Commerce.

• 1:04:39Speaker 03

  What did you do and what kind of blast did you have?

• 1:04:41Speaker 01

  It was something called the Sip and Shop.

• 1:04:43Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:04:44Speaker 01

  Yes, and you sipped, you shopped, and then there was a live band. And you could just dance and have a really nice time in Altadena.

• 1:04:52Speaker 03

  What did you sip?

• 1:04:54Speaker 01

  Wine.

• 1:04:54Speaker 03

  You paused.

• 1:04:55Speaker 01

  I took shots.

• 1:04:58Speaker 03

  You guys Jäger bombed.

• 1:04:59Speaker 01

  We did a Jäger bomb. Oh, man, I haven't done a Jäger bomb in ages. We should do old school drinks that we don't do anymore.

• 1:05:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:07Speaker 01

  Like Long Island iced teas.

• 1:05:08Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:05:09Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:05:10Speaker 03

  Sex on the beach.

• 1:05:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, Southern Comfort. I can't drink Soco. I can't do it because I still remember that one time I had a house party and threw up.

• 1:05:18Speaker 03

  Zima. Four Loco.

• 1:05:22Speaker 01

  Four Loco?

• 1:05:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, I still got some.

• 1:05:24Speaker 01

  That was more recent, though.

• 1:05:25Speaker 03

  I still got some.

• 1:05:26Speaker 01

  No, you don't. Do you really?

• 1:05:27Speaker 03

  I don't.

• 1:05:27Speaker 01

  Okay, all right.

• 1:05:28Speaker 03

  All right, well.

• 1:05:29Speaker 01

  Speaking of commerce.

• 1:05:31Speaker 03

  Oh, right, very good. That's right, this last clip is actually not from the show itself, but an ad, and it's kind of become infamous. It's the Lux bidet ad.

• 1:05:41Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:05:42Speaker 03

  Which I have to admit, I have never fully seen. I've heard about it.

• 1:05:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:47Speaker 03

  But when I edit, the ads are not in the episodes. They are what's called dynamically inserted later. And Mars edits the ads, so I've never really heard or seen this full thing, so I'm very excited.

• 1:05:59Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:06:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:00Speaker 01

  I wasn't even, I don't, if this is the one that I think is the first one, I wasn't even. No. Yeah, I wasn't even here for that.

• 1:06:08Speaker 03

  Wow, okay, yeah.

• 1:06:08Speaker 01

  And so David was sitting in for me, and this is, since then, we've done, I think, a couple other Lux bidet ads. But this was the first one, and this one is apparently, I don't know if I've ever listened to it all the way through either.

• 1:06:22Speaker 04

  We weren't sure how Lux was going to react, and listeners will understand why after they, I think, see the clip or hear the clip. But they were so thrilled about it that they, you know, kept coming back and wanting more ads.

• 1:06:33Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 1:06:34Speaker 04

  They're crazy.

• 1:06:41Conan O'Brien?

  Toilet paper has no business trying to battle the mess of a large holiday meal. Bidets, on the other hand, shoot a precise... What the fuck happened to me? I'm a good guy. I went to a good college. I worked hard. I wrote a thesis in college. I wrote a thesis. I've worked hard for years. I've raised a family. I've never gone to jail. I've never committed a crime. And here I am explaining how you gotta shoot water up your ass!

• 1:07:16Conan O'Brien?

  Ridiculous! Insanity!

• 1:07:23Conan O'Brien?

  What did I do? What am I, some kind of... I don't understand! How'd this happen?

• 1:07:31Conan O'Brien?

  Toilet paper has no business trying to battle the mess of a large holiday meal? Do you know what they're implying? They're implying that if I eat a large holiday meal, I just am gonna... My bottom's gonna explode? It's gonna be too much for any toilet paper? No toilet paper can handle that! No! You need a whole other device. I'm crying. You need a bidet that shoots water! No more smearing... It says here on the copy, "No more skid marks." What happened to this? A precise stream? A precise stream! Luxe Bidet... Oh, here we go, is the number one best-selling bidet brand. And I thought I had sold out.

• 1:08:16Conan O'Brien?

  Can I just say, they say people will laugh when they first see it, and we sure did. We haven't even seen it!

• 1:08:23Conan O'Brien?

  3 million satisfied customers across the US and over 150,000 5-star reviews on Amazon. Who uses a bidet and then says, "I've gotta go give an Amazon review"? I've checked back there 7 times, clean as a whistle!

• 1:08:42Conan O'Brien?

  This is... I'm gonna keep going, because people are laughing too hard. Luxe Bidet offers a range of patented bidet models. Oh, really? Including the award-winning Neo Plus Series. What does that do? Yeah, the bidet comes and finds you when it's time to poop. I think you should go. Really? I think you should go. That was a large burrito. Luxe Bidet's Neo Plus Series is the next generation of bidet attachment with never-before-seen patented features. That's right, never-before-seen. This series features a 360-degree self-clean mode.

• 1:09:25Conan O'Brien?

  Easy... 360-degree self-clean mode. Are people spinning around on their ass? Easy lift design, fast slide and installation, plus all the same features as their best-selling bidets. Oh my god! Then it says, "Please talk about what you... why you love your Luxe Bidet." I don't have one! But this is my favorite ad ever! This is a fantastic ad, and this is gonna go out as it is, or it won't go out.

• 1:09:58Conan O'Brien?

  Get the gifts your friends and family will never forget this holiday season. Hey grandma, wash your ass!

• 1:10:07Conan O'Brien?

  Use code NA to get 20% off bidets at luxebidet.com. That's L-U-X-E-B-I-D-E-T dot com. And code N slash A for 20% off. They made me spell bidet!

• 1:10:24Conan O'Brien?

  Oh my god.

• 1:10:25Speaker 01

  Oh my god!

• 1:10:28Speaker 05

  Now, one of my favorite things about that ad that many people probably don't know is there's a person sitting in the back of that room. And Eduardo, do you want to explain who that person is?

• 1:10:39Speaker 03

  Shout out to Brendan Burns, who we had invited that day to come and sit in unbeknownst to me. I didn't know what coding was gonna be reading that day. Brendan, you might hear him in the credits he mixes for the show, so. Yeah, but this was his first day to just kind of get a lay of the studio.

• 1:10:54Speaker 05

  I met him right before that, the ad session. He had never sat in on a session with us before. And then this happens and it's really funny to watch the video and see Brendan like kind of looking around like,

• 1:11:08Speaker 03

  Should I, is this, is this how things are here? I made a huge mistake.

• 1:11:12Speaker 05

  Really, really, really funny.

• 1:11:14Speaker 03

  It does kind of make you want to buy a bidet, though.

• 1:11:16Speaker 01

  I, yeah, I think so. I think, oh, man.

• 1:11:19Speaker 03

  I love that you can, like, Conan usually gets a stack of ads, starts reading and sort of like is understanding in real time what the ad is. And you can see him.

• 1:11:28Speaker 01

  That's true.

• 1:11:28Speaker 03

  Like discovering the, what he's reading an ad for as he's getting further and further into the copy.

• 1:11:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I do, going back to what you said about his improv, when he does ads, it is so, because he is reading everything and saying everything as he's recording, and then the stuff he comes up with is just unbelievable, like in the spot. So it is, it is really, I mean, like, I didn't think I would enjoy doing ads for this podcast with him as much as I do, but I, I really love doing ads with him. It's really funny.

• 1:11:59Speaker 03

  Oh, God, that's so funny.

• 1:12:01Speaker 01

  You should get a luxe bidet.

• 1:12:03Speaker 03

  Me?

• 1:12:03Speaker 01

  They should, they should send us like 20.

• 1:12:06Speaker 05

  You know what? Because of this ad, I got one and it is awesome.

• 1:12:11Speaker 03

  How'd you get one?

• 1:12:12Speaker 05

  I bought one.

• 1:12:12Speaker 03

  Oh, they didn't give you one?

• 1:12:14Speaker 05

  I used the code.

• 1:12:14Speaker 03

  Because now we're giving them double exposure.

• 1:12:16Speaker 01

  This isn't even, we're not even dynamic inserting this shit. This is, this is just in there.

• 1:12:21Speaker 03

  Send us our bidets.

• 1:12:22Speaker 05

  Yeah, I haven't gotten a paycheck from this place since, since 2003.

• 1:12:26Speaker 01

  Oh, right, well, yeah.

• 1:12:27Speaker 05

  It's my charity work.

• 1:12:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, we don't get paid.

• 1:12:30Speaker 03

  Uh, well, Conan's a horrible boss, but he's a wonderful man.

• 1:12:34Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:12:34Speaker 03

  And, uh, we're thinking about you.

• 1:12:36Speaker 01

  Yes, we are. We are thinking of, I don't, I don't think he's going to be listening.

• 1:12:39Speaker 03

  No, but I'm just sending that out. I know he doesn't listen.

• 1:12:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, but you're right.

• 1:12:44Speaker 03

  But this hardly seems like the episode to trash talk him.

• 1:12:46Speaker 01

  It's true, but we have been.

• 1:12:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, we have.

• 1:12:48Speaker 01

  I will say, it is really obvious that he's not here. He is our leader. He's just the, he always turns everything that we say into the funniest thing. You could possibly hear, and I think that he's definitely missed. I do like just the two of us being here. I'm not gonna lie.

• 1:13:06Speaker 03

  Do you want to just go a little longer?

• 1:13:08Speaker 01

  I know, why not? Let's just, how you been?

• 1:13:10Speaker 03

  I'm pretty good. How you been?

• 1:13:12Speaker 01

  Not bad, not bad.

• 1:13:14Speaker 03

  You got a bidet?

• 1:13:15Speaker 01

  I actually do.

• 1:13:16Speaker 03

  You do?

• 1:13:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:13:18Speaker 03

  On that seat right now?

• 1:13:20Speaker 01

  I installed it onto this seat, and I am sitting in Conan's seat.

• 1:13:24Speaker 03

  That's right, you are.

• 1:13:25Speaker 01

  He's gonna come back with a nice surprise.

• 1:13:30Speaker 03

  Well, we'll be back next week with our favorite clips from all the interview guests. And we should mention, if you want to see these clips in their entirety, you can go to the Team Coco YouTube channel. So what you've heard on almost all of these has just been a selected portion of a longer clip that you can watch on YouTube. All right, that's it.

• 1:13:50Speaker 01

  That's, that's all, that's all she wrote.

• 1:13:53Speaker 03

  Excuse me?

• 1:13:53Speaker 01

  That's all she did. That's all she did.

• 1:13:55Speaker 03

  Who's she?

• 1:13:55Speaker 01

  She did it.

• 1:13:56Speaker 03

  Who did?

• 1:13:57Speaker 01

  Mrs. Podcast.

• 1:13:59Speaker 03

  From Mr. And Mrs. Podcast, this is Team Coco saying, have a wonderful 2024. What's left of it.

• 1:14:08Speaker 03

  You sound too.

• 1:14:09Speaker 01

  So awkward.

• 1:14:10Speaker 03

  Mine?

• 1:14:11Speaker 01

  That was so awkward. Whatever's left of it. Yeah, thanks. Thanks for, thanks for coming.

• 1:14:20Speaker 03

  Thanks for coming and thanks for staying.

• 1:14:22Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:14:23Speaker 03

  Thanks, thanks for just being you.

• 1:14:24Speaker 01

  Yes, thank, thank you.

• 1:14:26Speaker 03

  Bye.

• 1:14:26Speaker 01

  We gotta stop. Just, let's do it.

• 1:14:28Speaker 03

  Let's end?

• 1:14:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:14:29Speaker 03

  All right. Thanks for listening, everybody. You don't want to add anything to that?

• 1:14:33Speaker 01

  Bye. We love you. Is that too much?

• 1:14:40Speaker 03

  Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sona of Sessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

• 1:15:00Speaker 03

  Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm.com/conan. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

• 1:15:48Speaker 06

  Insurance may all seem the same on the surface, but having insurance isn't the same as having State Farm. It's like getting a granola bar with a candle in it when you wanted a three-layer birthday cake. You wouldn't settle for just any dessert on your birthday, so don't settle for just any insurance. When it comes to getting the help you need, State Farm is the real deal. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

• 1:16:26Speaker 07

  McRib season is here at McDonald's. Enjoy a tasty McRib sandwich and pair it with fries and a refreshing Diet Dr. Pepper. At participating McDonald's for a limited time.