Emma’s Blueprint: 10 Principles That Can Change Your Life

In this deeply personal solo episode of Aspire, Emma Grede gets real and shares the ten foundational principles that have shaped her journey as an entrepreneur, leader, and mother. Drawing from over two decades of experience, Emma opens up about the power of embracing vulnerability, leveraging your unique strengths, and facing your past head-on. She discusses the critical importance of authenticity, personal responsibility, and the transformative role risk plays in achieving success. Emma’s practical insights will help you clearly identify what truly matters, focus your energy on what you can control, and develop a learning mindset that bridges the gap between good and great. Tune in to discover the powerful guiding principles Emma relies on that can help you forge your own path to fulfillment and success.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:09Emma Grede?

  Welcome to Aspire with me, Emma Grede. Over the past 20 years, I've built, run and invested in some incredible businesses. I co-founded a multi-billion dollar unicorn and helped grow companies worth hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars. And at the same time, I'm raising four kids right here in Los Angeles. But trust me, that's a long way from where I started. I grew up in a rough neighbourhood in East London, one of four sisters raised by a single mum. I've really come a long way and I've learned a lot. But this, this podcasting thing is brand new territory for me. I've built businesses rooted in purpose, but they weren't always my purpose. It wasn't until I stepped into leadership,

• 0:54Emma Grede?

  mentoring others, guiding teams, that I actually realised what really drives me. Helping people find their own path, their own success, that's what drives me. So when I thought about launching this show, two words kept coming up for me: intention and purpose. That is the heart of Aspire. My intention's really simple: to bring you conversations with some of the most brilliant thought leaders and minds in business, to give you insights, tools and takeaways to build the life you want on your terms. I want every guest to be the mentor in your head, the voice that pushes you, that inspires you and that reminds you just how powerful you are. But if there's

• 1:36Emma Grede?

  one truth I've learned, even when I had to learn it the hard way, it is this: the road to success starts with yourself. It doesn't matter where you come from, who your mentors are, what's held you back or what you've done wrong. You need a strong belief system that guides everything you do. Because when every step you take starts with you, everything becomes possible, especially when you put in the work. And to borrow from one of my favourite mentors, the mentor I have in my head, Oprah Winfrey, it's one of the only things I know for sure. So today, I want to take some time with you to break down what that really means, to share the real stuff, 10 key takeaways

• 2:19Emma Grede?

  that have shaped my journey. Some, I wish I'd known sooner and I'm going to keep it 100% honest.

• 2:31Emma Grede?

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• 3:15Emma Grede?

  make a dinner reservation, or schedule a lift while automatically applying your member benefits. Download the Bilt app and join the membership for where you live at joinbilt.com/emma. That's J-O-I-N-B-I-L-T dot com slash Emma. Use our link so they know we sent you.

• 3:35Speaker 01

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• 4:11Emma Grede?

  Number one, know what you don't know. Let's be honest, how well do you really know yourself? I'm not just talking about what type of personality you have or what you're good at. I'm asking, do you know what you don't know? What are the things you're not great at? What are the skills that you lack? The areas where you need help? In other words, are you honest with yourself about your weaknesses? We all have them. I'm dyslexic. I find it really hard to read spreadsheets, especially those full of numbers. I have a very short attention span. I hate long meetings and I really don't like big meetings with more than four or five people.

• 4:52Emma Grede?

  And yet, every week I need to sit in collection reviews with forty or fifty people present from all divisions of the business. I know these things, these weaknesses about myself, and I would never be successful if I haven't figured out a way to combat them. I can tell you right now, one of the biggest breakthroughs I had was when I finally admitted I don't know everything. And the next breakthrough I had was when I stopped pretending to everybody else that I did. As with so many women, I've been stuck in the perfectionist trap, where I felt like I needed to be great at everything and have all the answers. The fear of not being good enough or falling short of expectations can be overwhelming.

• 5:35Emma Grede?

  Perfectionism often arises from this desire to avoid criticism or rejection, which is so real when you're out of your comfort zone, just like I am now somewhat. But when you're starting something new and when you're pushing yourself, it really comes up over and over again. I've sat in meetings and I've masked what I didn't know. And I thought for a long time that not being particularly strong with numbers or with finance meant that I should actually never be allowed to run a business. Until, that is, until one day, I started asking questions. Not just to the people I had directly around me, but actively making calls to anyone I thought that might want to chat and help me work through a problem. I called my agency clients, I called my old colleagues, I spoke to the bosses of friends,

• 6:19Emma Grede?

  I even called competitors, and I started to become someone who would find answers. When I started my first business, I thought I should be able to do it all. I thought being in charge meant having every answer. I micromanaged everything. I thought if I didn't control it, then it would never get done. But you know what? That only created chaos. And the moment I stepped back and trusted the people that I hired, my business exploded. But in reality, what it actually meant was being honest with myself and being crystal clear on what I wasn't good at and what skills I needed to hire for. It took me a while to get there, but being willing to hire the best people and get out of their way was a breakthrough.

• 7:02Emma Grede?

  Today, if I'm really honest, one of the best parts about my job is finding talent. I love nothing more than bringing the best people from all over the world to work with me, and I lean in to what I don't know. I don't despair that they might be more knowledgeable, that they might have more experience, that they might be more articulate or present better than I do. In fact, it's the absolute opposite because surrounding myself with the best people makes me look good. And I don't need to go around pretending. I can double down on what I do uniquely well and what I bring to the table. The key takeout here is that you don't need to be an expert at everything. Just make sure that you create awareness of your weaknesses. Don't fake it.

• 7:47Emma Grede?

  Find people that know better than you do and learn to ask the right questions whenever you have the opportunity. And know your strengths and then hire people that are better than you in areas where you're weak and then get out of their way and let them work. In other words, know what you don't know and be in relentless pursuit to ask the right questions. Next, number two. Leverage what you've got. This is a key strategy that changed the trajectory of my career. Leverage is taking one thing, whether it's an opportunity, a skill, or even a relationship, and using it to springboard into something bigger. Now, listen, I don't know about you, but I've never had a problem with vision.

• 8:29Emma Grede?

  I've always been able to see into the future and know exactly what was coming down the path for me. But I'd be lying if I said that it had all worked out or that I knew exactly how I was going to get there. And that's why I started making plans shortly before my 30th birthday, so I could really chart how I was going to be successful and what I needed to do to get there. I ultimately realised that one of the superpowers I have is the ability to leverage. By that is that I've made it a habit to take whatever I've had, whatever the situation was, and use it as a springboard to get me to the next place. So let me give you a couple of real examples. I started my career working in a fashion show production company, which sounds very glamorous.

• 9:12Emma Grede?

  But essentially, I was building the sets for catwalk shows, which is a completely thankless task. You spend three months developing this beautiful concept alongside a designer and their team. The show goes up and down in seven minutes, and as the event producer, you're backstage. You don't see any of it, like not a sausage, and you would be taking down your work to restore the venue back to what it was before you started right afterwards. Three months of work, just poof, gone. Meanwhile, everybody else is talking to the press or going off to the next show or the next party that you are completely uninvited to. This was my life for over five years. It might well have been the least rewarding job I've ever had in my life.

• 9:53Emma Grede?

  Or was it? Ultimately, I used that job to understand fundamentally how the fashion business worked. Why were people at the fashion shows? Well, they were there to buy the collections and create press stories and reviews to publicize the shows. And every single person that attended those shows was a potential good contact for me. Every client who had a show could be useful to me in some way, shape or form. And so when I eventually left that company, not only did I have a lot of contacts that I could leverage, but I also had a reputation that I could leverage. My reputation at that young age wasn't about doing anything dramatically good or different, but I was known as a really hard worker,

• 10:34Emma Grede?

  as someone that had so much passion for the industry and someone that was clearly going to do whatever it took to get to the next stage in her career. And so I leveraged those things about myself into my next position and ultimately found the client base for my first agency business within those contacts that I'd made. And so the story went on. Those contacts became my clients. Those clients gave me bigger and bigger and bigger projects and opportunities. And eventually, when I needed to raise money for my first startup, ten years later, who did I go to? Not a fan. Or a V C. I didn't know any of those type of people. I went to a client who I had a reputation of delivering excellent work with and a long and trusted working relationship with. And not only was I able to pitch my idea

• 11:19Emma Grede?

  and the potential of an investment, but I also managed to make that person a trusted advisor and someone that would help me throughout the years. The key take out here is that it's not always easy to see your path forward. And I have so many people that come to me asking about the next step. How do they get from where they are today to where they want to be? And my simple answer is that you have to be excellent at what you're doing right now, where you are today. The single best way to be noticed and to be able to use the leverage that you might have is for people to notice how good you are right now at what you're doing in this moment. And for you to find ways that you can take what you have today and use those things to springboard you to your next move.

• 12:04Emma Grede?

  That's leverage and it's really something that all of us can access. Number three, always be yourself. Always be yourself. Everyone else is taken. I think it was Oscar Wilde that said that, and I love this quote. Depending on what type of person you are, the idea of being yourself is either something that's so obvious or not even a discussion point, or it's something that you'll really struggle with. I've always felt pretty comfortable in my own skin. Until I was about seventeen, I was doing a lot of work experience. I'd go into different PR agencies in London and I would realise very quickly that I wasn't like the other interns. I didn't look like the other interns. I definitely didn't speak like the other interns.

• 12:45Emma Grede?

  And I didn't have the lunch budget of these kids, which really, really annoyed me. They'd all go after these fancy lunches and I was so pissed about it. For a while, I thought the name of the game was to fit in until it came to being chosen for a specific assignment. And I remember the moment like it was yesterday. Quite rudely, one of the account directors said, I'll use her. And went on to refer to me as the one who sounded like a Cockney Barrow boy. Now, to a lot of American listeners, you won't really understand that, but let me tell you, it is not a term of endearment. But rather than take Huge offence. Something inside me was so happy at being chosen to work on this specific account. I just let it slide. Once I had a chance to digest the very shitty comment, I reasoned that for me, and in that moment,

• 13:30Emma Grede?

  it was better to stand out, to not change my accent and the way that I was raised to speak. And in that second, and from then on, I've really understood what it means to be unapologetically yourself. What I learned as I got older is that all the things that made me stand out in a room at work and in business are the things that became huge points of differentiation for me. The fact that I dropped out of college and went straight to work meant that I was younger than most of the people that I was working around. And as a result, people really looked after me. I was like the baby. And for a while, that was really good for me. Because I hadn't been trained in attacking a problem through the lens of business school, I would go straight into figure it out mode. Nowadays, we call it test and learn, but back then,

• 14:13Emma Grede?

  it was just throw it at a wall and see what sticks. I have tried so many things that haven't worked, but you only need to be right once. And once things worked, I got a reputation for being someone who would make shit happen. Being a black woman in an all-white office was a great thing for me because I stood out to clients and everyone was constantly asking me for my opinion, which at the time I took every opportunity to give, where I knew what I was speaking about or not. And as I've got older, I've understood that it is all my differences that make me who I am and uniquely able to do what I do, to see things the way I see them and to operate the way that only I can. The quote, "You might as well be you, everybody else has taken," is a great quote because to me,

• 14:57Emma Grede?

  it says that we're all unique, that we can all bring something to the table. And when you really embrace that idea of being who you are, being yourself, understanding yourself, it's not only freeing, but it becomes like a kind of magic. Being me and leaning into being myself has got me to where I am today, and it is far less exhausting than the alternative. So I choose it and you should choose it for yourself every damn day. Number four, you have to deal with all your old shit. Take it in for a second because I'm going to get super real here. Every single one of us carries baggage and let's face it, your past can be a heavy weight to bear. For me, it was childhood trauma, a lot of anger, unresolved emotions.

• 15:42Emma Grede?

  And when you're building something big, whether it's a business, a career or just your life, those old wounds will catch up to you. At one point in my twenties, I realised that my anger and my unresolved issues were really holding me back. I couldn't keep blaming my childhood or my circumstances for where I was at that moment. If I wanted to move forward, I had to do the hard work of healing. And that meant sitting down, confronting everything and being willing to deal with all of that old shit. I've been in and out of therapy since my late teens and I honestly believe it's been one of the single most rewarding aspects of my life. Two years ago, I did the Hoffman Process, which is like an intensive course over nine days where you deal with your childhood trauma.

• 16:27Emma Grede?

  I'm someone who finds it very, very difficult to compartmentalise. It's not like I have like a work day and a family part of my day and a podcast part of my day. Everything is everything. It all melds into one thing. And when I'm super pissed off, I can't park it and come into the room a different person for a different project or for a different mood. So the reality is that in order to do all the things I do, I have to deal with the fundamentals and so will you. I am so glad that we're living in a time when there's no stigma around therapy for most people. But when I was much younger, there definitely was. As a busy working mum of four, I also struggled to find the time to work on myself. And sometimes it can definitely feel over indulgent.

• 17:11Emma Grede?

  But making the time to understand why you do what you do and how you come to those decisions enables you to make changes where you really need to. When you identify something in yourself, if you can pinpoint where it comes from, you can work on it. And even when you start to notice things that aren't about you that are happening around you, it's an opportunity to look inwards. I had an amazing therapist that used to say to me, you spot it, you got it, which I think about all the time when I have my little judgy hat on. I said it at the start of today, but you can't be successful in business unless you're successful in life. So working out all your own shit will allow you to move through your life in a far more successful way than if you choose not to.

• 17:54Emma Grede?

  The key take out here, you cannot outrun your past. You can't keep pushing it aside and expect to move forward. If you want to grow, you have to face your demons head on. It's hard, but it's absolutely necessary.

• 18:11Speaker 02

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• 18:42Speaker 03

  Hi, everyone. This is Kara Swisher.

• 18:43Speaker 04

  And I'm Scott Galloway.

• 18:44Speaker 03

  And we want to tell you about Pivot, our twice-weekly podcast.

• 18:48Speaker 04

  That's right, Kara. What a thrill. It's a chance for us to break down all the big things happening in tech, business, and politics.

• 18:54Speaker 03

  Yes, and I keep you in check so people can make it through each episode, whether it's digging into constant changes in the world of AI and social media, or trying to keep up with whatever the fuck Elon is doing. We're here to give you our take on all of that.

• 19:06Speaker 04

  Every Tuesday and Friday morning, we drop a new episode about some of the major stories of the moment.

• 19:11Speaker 03

  And Scott is a prediction machine, gazing into his crystal ball to tell you about where it's all heading.

• 19:16Speaker 04

  That's right!

• 19:17Speaker 03

  So if that sounds like a good time for you, especially Mr. "That's right," you can follow us on your favorite podcast app to get new episodes every week.

• 19:35Emma Grede?

  Number five, take responsibility for your life. So here's a tough one. How much of what happens in your life are you able to take responsibility for? It's a tough question and one worth thinking about. I feel like I was brought up in quite a blamey culture. Nothing was our fault. Everything was about what the neighbour did, what the government was doing, what, you know, anybody else was doing. Everything happening all around was about what somebody else was doing, but it was never about us. It was never our personal responsibility. I grew up in East London, an impoverished part of inner-city London. I went to a really tough school, when I did go to school, that is, and I've always been a little bit frustrated that I didn't have a better education.

• 20:18Emma Grede?

  When I got to the London College of Fashion, I went to school with a lot of girls that had been privately educated and they were a hell of a lot smarter than me. And I was very blaming that I hadn't had a similar education and I started to say and tell myself that I would never get through this college class. How could I? Everybody else that's here has had a better start and therefore they'll have a better ending. At this point, my mother had moved a couple of hours outside of London and the commute for me to get to college every day was exhausting, but more than that, it felt unfair. These certainly weren't the only reasons, but they amounted to enough of a reason that I dropped out of college after less than a year. I just didn't think it was for me and I'm not the type of person that wants to come

• 21:01Emma Grede?

  in fourth or fifth or sixth place, so I left. After leaving, it was really hard to get a job and once again, I was pretty annoyed and ready to point the finger because I just didn't have the type of friends or family that knew anyone to get me into a place that would be useful for work experience and that would be a great opportunity for me. So I started to look outside myself and blame life and my circumstances once again. Until one day, I watched an episode of Oprah and there she was talking about the power of taking ultimate responsibility for everything and it changed my life forever. Now, it's really important to say that we all start out in different places in life and it's absolutely true to say that many, many people start out with an unfair hand

• 21:46Emma Grede?

  and have to work a hell of a lot harder for things that are just a given for someone else. But if you're like me, if you believe in mindset, if you believe that the stories you tell yourself become your reality, then you'll know that the quickest way to change your trajectory is to take responsibility for yourself. Another one of my favourite quotes is that if you don't know what to focus on, focus on yourself, which is exactly what I did in the moments after watching that fateful Oprah episode. I was focused entirely on what I was in control of. I took responsibility for the time that I woke up in the morning, for the number of letters that I would write to prospective employers. I took responsibility for following up those letters with a phone call in a timely manner.

• 22:30Emma Grede?

  Sometimes I would even hand deliver letters just because I'd been ignored so many times and I wanted to make sure that they were actually receiving the post. I worked seven days a week and I opened my eyes to everything that could become an opportunity. And when things didn't work out, I told myself that it was my responsibility and I figured out whatever part I might have to play in the things that didn't go my way. And even if sometimes I thought I was forcing those reasons, there would be some inkling of truth or some small learning that would mean I didn't fall into the same trap next time. My experience has been that when you're in a downward spiral, taking responsibility in the capacity you have is the single best thing that you can do.

• 23:15Emma Grede?

  Now, I'm talking about a particularly early part of my life, but when I think about how that translates to what I do now, I think that it's my responsibility to figure out how to make myself happy. It's my responsibility to work out how to be the best parent to my four kids while I balance my ambition. And when I'm exhausted and I'm frustrated and I feel a sense of overwhelm, I know my responsibility is to correct that and figure out a path forward. No one is coming to save you, no one. This was a hard pill for me to swallow. When things went wrong, it was easy to point fingers at other people, at circumstances, at things outside my control. But here's the truth. I am responsible for where I am today, for the good and for the bad.

• 24:00Emma Grede?

  Right, that key takeout part again. Taking responsibility means owning your choices. Every mistake, every failure, it's yours. And the moment I took full responsibility, I started to see real growth. Because when you take ownership, you stop playing the victim and you become empowered. I'm not saying it's easy, but it is necessary for me, for you, and for all of us. And to quote one of my favorite quotes, don't forget, the water doesn't get any warmer if you jump in late. Number six, the only thing you can control is you. The truth everyone needs to hear, there's so much you can control and just as much that you absolutely cannot. As an entrepreneur, here's what I know for sure.

• 24:44Emma Grede?

  You can control your vision, your energy, your standards, how you show up. Every single day you can control these things. You can choose your mindset, your team, your boundaries, how you respond when things don't go as planned. But you can't control other people's opinions. You can't control the pace of somebody else's journey or every twist and turn in the market. And trying to control those things, that is what drains your energy. Let me tell you the first four things I think about every day as a matter of practice. These things we all have control over and I promise you that if you get hold of them, they'll make the biggest differences to your life. The first one, how you speak to yourself.

• 25:25Emma Grede?

  My great friend Diane, Diane von Furstenberg says, the most important relationship you'll ever have is the one you have with yourself. So make it a practice to speak to yourself well and with intention. Here's the next one, how you respond to others. Life is short and the world is really small. And I can tell you countless stories of how the same people come back into my life in different ways over and over again. Are you someone that walks into the room and brings energy or do you drain it? Choosing and being deliberate, looking people in the eyes, saying hello, a little smile, acknowledging a small detail or something that you know might be important to someone else, or just taking a little moment for a chat. This is how people experience you. This is the stuff that matters.

• 26:09Emma Grede?

  And when you change the way you relate to others, everything gets better and you don't have to do much. You'll get it back automatically. The next two things are really simple. How do you wake up and how do you go to bed? How you start your day and what you choose to do before you go to bed is your choice. I'll tell you my life changed with two simple moves in the morning. I've kept a journal since I was 12 years old. In my late teens, it turned into a gratitude journal and I still keep this daily practice. There's no doubt that you've heard about the benefits of practicing gratitude. My simple point of view is that it's something I can't live without doing. Your entire perspective will change when you focus on what's good in your life. I decided to get an alarm clock and plug my phone into charge in a different room.

• 26:54Emma Grede?

  Yes, it's that simple. I refuse to look at an email or at the news before I've spoken to my husband in bed for at least 15 minutes over a coffee or whatever I might do that morning. It might sound a little dramatic. You ask how something so small could actually be life-changing. But the ability to think clearly and to feel what I feel instead of letting the news or social media sweep me up has been a total game changer. And then it comes down to what do I do before I go to bed? Before I go to bed, I have the best nightly routine. I check all of my kids and I do a little prayer at the door. On weeknights, we'll read a few pages of whatever book I'm reading. I'll have a cup of herbal tea and I'll take a few deep breaths.

• 27:38Emma Grede?

  Every single day of my life, I am ripping through the day. I go from meeting to meeting to meeting without a breath. I deal with mostly problems and I could go to bed checking emails and making lists, wound up for the following day. It's a choice to take the temperature down and reflect and have a moment of gratitude. Making sure my day opens and closes with a sense of purpose gives my life a simple framework rooted in the things that matter to me. And what is more important than that? Number seven, you have got to take risks. If there's one thing you take away from this session today, one thing that you remember that you write down is this sentence. Risk is a requirement.

• 28:22Emma Grede?

  Playing it safe is the real danger. If you're building anything worth having, whether it's a business, a brand, or just a life that lights you up, there are going to be moments when you are standing on the edge, wondering if the leap is worth it. And I'll tell you right now, it almost always is. I moved to America with two kids under the age of three years old. I left my family and everything that was familiar and comfortable in the UK. I had sold my company and with that, all the certainty of my working reality, the place where I knew everything about the space I operated in, only to become an apparel CEO, which I knew very, very little about. I tell you this because I know how scary it is.

• 29:05Emma Grede?

  I know what it is to have real responsibilities and I know what it is to be so bloody comfortable and not really need to take a risk, but for that tiny voice inside of your head that says, there is something more out there for me. Risk isn't reckless, it's required. It's the bridge between who you are and who you're becoming. Every person you admire has a trail of bold decisions behind them. And yes, some of them didn't work out. I've done a lot of things that didn't work out as planned. But every one of them teaches you something that you couldn't have learned by playing it safe. Too often, we're taught to crave certainty, to wait for the plan, the approval, the perfect timing. But I promise you, it's a waste of time.

• 29:50Emma Grede?

  So the question is, how do you get better at risk-taking? And the answer is, you start small. You build that muscle, you get used to discomfort, and you ask, what's the worst that could happen? And what's the best that could happen if I trust myself? Playing it safe is the most dangerous thing you can do when you've got really big dreams. So today, I challenge you to take one bold step. Send the email, pitch the idea, launch the offer, say the scary thing, ask for what you want. Because every time you choose courage over comfort, you're building the future that you actually want. And that, my dears, is a risk worth taking. Number eight. The work is non-negotiable.

• 30:31Emma Grede?

  There is no other way for me to say this than I probably work an unhealthy amount. I sketched out the outline for this show at 11pm on a Friday night. It's all fun and games at my house. I go into my office at least four days a week, usually five. And even if I'm not in the office on a Friday, I'm out and about and I'm taking meetings or I'm at my home all day, but I'm doing work. I work in the evenings and I work on the weekends. I love the work I do, but I work all the time. Now, there have for sure been periods in my career, in my twenties and in my thirties, where I had an unhealthy relationship to work. Where I lived in London, I would wake myself up in the middle of the night to respond to a lawyer's comments on a celebrity contract because, given the time difference in LA,

• 31:16Emma Grede?

  by the time that I would wake up, they'd be asleep. And inevitably, the turnaround time when you're trying to close a deal and keep clients happy, it was just not something that I could bear. Now, while I would never advocate for unhealthy working practices like that, I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a moment in your life and in your career where it made sense to put the pedal to the metal. And for me, that was in my twenties. At this time of my life, I didn't have a mortgage, I didn't have any big responsibilities, no kids. I could apply myself 100% to my work and, oh my goodness, did I. I'd also say that there is a huge gap in my own friendship group between those that really applied themselves during their twenties and those that just didn't.

• 31:59Emma Grede?

  Now, this type of work ethic isn't for everybody and I don't think that you can't be successful if you're not willing to go all out. But there is something to be said for what it takes to be excellent at something and what it takes to really, truly apply yourself. Personally, what I found really helpful is to have a focus with work. And what I mean by that is to have an end goal, to be clear about what you're working towards and make sure that your energy is spent wisely. There is a smart way to work really hard and killing yourself without any big picture in mind will never be satisfying. Now, I know that people are tired of hustle culture and I know that work-life balance is important. It's important to prioritise looking after yourself and as much as I dislike the term self-care,

• 32:43Emma Grede?

  I love what it actually means for me and I do take it very seriously because in order to be able to really push it, you have to be looking after yourself. But if we're not honest about what hard work is and how much you have to put in, then I would just be lying to you. Most of the work I've done in my life has not been enjoyable and I'm so lucky that I find myself in enjoyable work at the age of forty-two. But I've delivered newspapers, I've made sandwiches, I've worked in countless clothing stores, I've had more packages than I care to remember. But I did it knowing that it was leading to somewhere and I do think that there's an element, whether you work in a mailroom or you're the most junior person that has kind of all the relentless busy work to do

• 33:28Emma Grede?

  and still does like the coffee run or if you're stuck in a really unfulfilling job, that we all have to pay our dues in some way or another on the path to something greater. It's just part of it and it's in those times of your life that it's important that you bring a level of curiosity and willingness and an ability to look and see the bigger picture and figure out your leverage because it's always there if you're willing to look. The key takeout, remember, don't get disillusioned with the work, but know that it's an essential part of getting to where you want to go and the quicker you put one hundred in, the quicker you'll be able to get something meaningful out.

• 34:14Emma Grede?

  Number nine, you can have it all, but not all at once. Okay, this might just be my favourite subject ever. I think it was Shonda Rhimes who first put me on to the idea of trade-offs, so the credit goes there. Shonda says that when she's killing it in one place in her career, she's inevitably having to do a trade-off somewhere else and this is true for so many of us. For me, it's not the realisation that you need to make a trade-off that's hard to grapple with, it's the decision. About what's going to give that's the hardest. So I want to frame how you can think about trade offs because I think I've got a way to make those decisions more streamlined. I mentioned before that I'm pretty goal oriented and I have these big plans that I write both annually and for each decade.

• 34:58Emma Grede?

  In fact, one day we'll do a whole episode on how to build out the plans, but for right now, this is the key take out. When you have a goal, it's really important to say no to things that aren't getting you closer to your goals. And so when you think about the trade offs, the things that don't get you closer to your goals have to go. Unless, and there's only ever one exception, if there are things that give your life meaning. Family obligations, spiritual or religious obligations, things like that, those things have to say. So let me give you an example. If there's a family event in England or my best friend's birthday, that's where I'll be every single time. I am never missing making memories.

• 35:39Emma Grede?

  If there's a party I've been invited to, I've made a commitment to read three mornings a week before I go out. I am not going to that party. It's sad, but it's true. The thesis here is that something's got to give and that you can have it all, but not all at the same time. And so being really clear about what's most important to you is what you have to work out first. I am never going to sacrifice the happiness of my kids, but there's a finite amount of things that make my kids happy. And something such as volunteering at your school has nothing to do with your kid. It's about the expectations of your particular school. So just say no and be comfortable in that decision.

• 36:24Emma Grede?

  Also know that sometimes you'll be saying no to something you really, really, really want to do. And you've got to be comfortable with that too. The important thing here is to communicate with everyone around you because it's the expectations that are just so overwhelming. When you're asked to do something that isn't a priority for you, immediately shut it down and explain that you won't do it. Don't offer any long explanation, just say, I'm sorry, I won't. The takeout here is that the trade offs are real. The great news is that you get to decide what they are. The last one, and one that is just so key to my heart. Always be learning. Number 10, always be learning.

• 37:06Emma Grede?

  One of my most overused quotes is, "The more you learn, the more you earn." It's a Warren Buffett quote, and we all know I love Warren. If we're talking about the mindset that separates good from great, being in constant learning mode has to be top of my list. And it's one of the main reasons I started this podcast. I believe that exposure to ideas, to information, to knowledge, to people and to things that are new to you, and maybe even are odds with your own deeply held beliefs. This is what ultimately will help make us great. I was a terrible student. Not realising that I was dyslexic until I was in my early twenties clearly didn't help. But even so, my whole life, I've had an insatiable appetite for learning.

• 37:51Emma Grede?

  As a woman building something powerful, you don't get to stop growing. Staying in learning mode means you're always asking better questions, staying curious and refusing to let your ego block your evolution. For me, it's a lot of reading, a lot of reading. But listening is a skill that I've developed as I got older. Not always having something to say is very hard for me. It's an asset that I've developed, as is watching everyone around me and observing those I aspire to. But more than that, it's applying what I've learned. Learning for me is finding lessons in the wins and the losses. Surrounding myself with people that challenge me and staying open even when I think I already know the answer.

• 38:35Emma Grede?

  So I want to leave you just with some practical tips. Here's practically how I continue learning in my own life. And because I don't have a lot of time, and I'm sure you don't either, these are just the things that I do. The first one is like, create micro learning moments. Instead of binging content, commit to 15 or 30 minutes a day of intentional learning. Read a book, listen to a podcast episode, or watch a quick TED Talk while getting ready or commuting. Number two, ask better questions. At the end of the day, you can just reflect, what did I learn today? What challenged me? What could I do differently next time? These are like simple prompts that keep your brain in growth mode. Number three is you can schedule learning like a meeting.

• 39:19Emma Grede?

  Block off time to read, take a course, or study something that stretches you. If it's not on your calendar, it won't happen consistently. Number four, surround yourself with teachers. This could be mentors, mastermind groups, or friends who just think bigger. Who you spend your time with will either expand or limit your growth. Number five, teach what you learn. Share your insights on social media with your team. Because when you teach it, you repeat it and you own it. And don't forget, stay humble and curious. Remind yourself often, I don't know everything. And that's exactly why I'm going to go further the most. The takeout here is applying learnings takes a lot of practice,

• 40:01Emma Grede?

  but it really is the difference between good and great. So let's summarize all of this. The best pathway to your success is starting with yourself. The 10 ways that I do that, the 10 principles that guide my life and the way that I do business. Number one, know what you don't know. You don't have to be an expert in everything. Hire people better than you in your weak areas and get out of their way. Number two, leverage what you've got. Leverage your relationships, reputation, and current opportunities to take your next step. Number three, always, always, always be yourself. Embrace your uniqueness. It is your superpower.

• 40:44Emma Grede?

  Number four, you have to deal with all your old shit. You can only move forward when you face your demons. Number five, take responsibility for your life. Own your story, failures and all. Number six, the only thing you can control is you. Focusing on the uncontrollable is unproductive. Always prioritize what you can and change. Number seven, you've got to take risks. Take one bold step today, pitch, ask, launch, or just speak up.

• 41:17Emma Grede?

  Number eight, the work is non-negotiable. Do the work with a bigger picture in mind. Number nine, you can have it all, but not all at once. You decide what matters. Own your trade-offs confidently. And lastly, number 10, always be learning. Apply what you learn. This is the gap between good and great. Thank you for spending time with me today on the Aspire Podcast. I hope that you leave here today with at least one thing that will impact your life, no matter how small. See you next time.

• 41:53Emma Grede?

  If you're loving this podcast, be sure to click Follow on your favourite listening platform. While you're there, give us a review and a five-star rating and share an episode you loved with a friend who'll be so grateful. Aspire with Emma Grede is presented by Odyssey. I'm your host, Emma Grede. Our executive producers are Corinne Gilliard Fisher, Derek Brown and me. Our executive producers from Odyssey are Maddie Sprung Kaiser, Leah Reese Dennis, Asha Saluja and Jenna Weiss-Berman. Justine Dom is our senior producer. Our producer is Kristin Torres. Sound design and engineering by Bill Schultz. Angela Peluso is our booker. Original music by Charles Black. Video production by Evan Cox, Kirk Courtney, Andrew Steele, Carla Stelgardo and Arnie Agassi.

• 42:38Emma Grede?

  Social media by Olivia Homan. Special thanks go to Brittany Smith, Sidney Ford, my teams at Jonesworks and WNE, Maura Curran, Josefina Francis, Hilary Schaff, Eric Donnelly, Kate Hutchinson Rose, Tim Meekle, Shaun Cherry and Lauren Viera. If you have questions for me, you can DM me at aspirewithemmagrede. Grede is spelt G-R-E-D-E. That's aspire, A-S-P-I-R-E with Emma Grede. Or you can submit a question to me on my website, emmagrede.me.